Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #671, MuggleCast Live at LeakyCon 2024!
Show Intro
[Show music plays]
Eric Scull: We’re live at LeakyCon 2024! This is MuggleCast!
[Audience cheers]
Eric: Welcome, welcome, everybody. I am Eric.
Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.
Eric: And we are here to celebrate 19 years of MuggleCast, which is wild.
Micah: Choo-choo.
Eric: [laughs] I’m so glad you said that. I actually have a quick recording that’s canned, just in case you would refuse to say, “Choo-choo.”
Micah: Oh. Well, play it anyway.
Eric: Hang on.
[Micah’s “Choo-choo” sound effect plays]
Eric: It’s actually kind of fun to just keep playing it. We’re going to make it our phone text alert too. But yes, so we’re really, really happy to be here. Is everybody having a good con so far?
[Audience cheers]
Eric: Fantastic. That’s really awesome. We are too. We’ve had some good panels; we have two more things tomorrow, which is very exciting, but most of all, we’re just happy for everyone that’s been here. We had our meetup yesterday, which I think went really lovely, and we’re just really excited to be here and celebrating and still being able to do this after all this time.
Micah: 19 years is a long time.
Eric: But this is far from an epilogue. We will not be ending today, which is very exciting, very exciting news. So yeah, we definitely will actually be talking about the Deathly Hallows epilogue as kind of… it’s a little break from our usual Chapter by Chapters, going through Goblet of Fire, but we definitely wanted to make it a big part of today’s discussion, as well as some really cool games and fun segments. So Micah, do you have any reflective thoughts on the 19 years and what MuggleCast, what doing the show, has meant to you?
Micah: I know I said it earlier, but it’s really hard to believe that it’s been two decades of doing podcasting, and I know at LeakyCon last year, we talked a lot about just how old we are, but I still think we’re better than ever. We’ve aged well.
Eric: Like a wine. Like elf-made wine.
Micah: Yeah, and I think, too, it’s the friendships that we’ve created along the way, the people here that many of whom we know are listeners, and it’s just been a really great experience.
Eric: Yeah, no, I completely agree. And thinking about when we started out, we were all really, really young, and the sound quality wasn’t as great and everything, and the idea that we’ve continued to reinvent and grow and also grow with an audience, and go from talking about the books before we knew how they would end, to talking about the books when they had ended but when the hype was still really huge, to now we’re also adults offering fresh perspective on Harry Potter. The show has gone through entire phases. We’ve been doing this long enough to continue to reinvent and be able to identify entire sections and everything, and for anybody who… people tell us, “We went back and listened to the whole catalog,” you don’t have to do that. Also, we’re very sorry; the audio quality of those early episodes was abysmal, but we did what we could with Skype and Audacity and the Plantronics headsets that keep getting a shout-out.
Main Discussion: The Deathly Hallows epilogue
Eric: But yeah, we are going to be talking about the epilogue discussion today. But before we do that, we need seven volunteers from the audience, and if you want to be a volunteer, simply come on up to the microphone that’s here right in the center of the room, if you like. And I think there are fewer than seven hands, so everybody can just walk up. The first seven people.
Micah: I love how they volunteer as tribute. They have no idea what they’re about to do.
Eric: They have no idea. I don’t know, I don’t know; for listeners of the show, this may be pretty clear.
Micah: We need one more person.
Eric: We do. We got a seventh… okay, all right.
Audience member 1: It’s the seven-word summary!
Eric: We are talking, of course, about the epilogue that follows Deathly Hallows, where we meet up with Hermione, Ron, and Harry 19 years later on the platform. It’s only seven pages long, and we would like our new volunteers – fresh-faced, smiling – to complete our seven-word summary.
[Seven-Word Summary music plays]
Audience member 1: Together…
Audience member 2: … the…
Audience member 3: … trio…
Audience member 4: … arrive…
Audience member 5: … at…
Audience member 6: Is King’s Cross one word or two?
Eric: It’s one.
Audience member 6: … King’s Cross…
Audience member 7: … Station.
Eric: King’s Cross Station!
[Audience applauds]
Eric: Yes, so “Together we arrive at King’s Cross Station.” Or the trio, the trio, sorry. “Together, the trio arrive at King’s Cross Station.” Extremely accurate summary, and that is about all that happens, right, Micah?
Micah: Yeah, there’s a little bit of editing that goes on sometimes.
Eric: Yeah, some relations were…
Micah: Sometimes we’re on it, and sometimes it’s like, “Why did we ever invent this segment to begin with?”
Eric: Yeah, it’s designed to trip our… it’s actually designed to make ourselves look less good, I think.
Micah: Yes.
Eric: I often suspect Andrew is… because after you’ve been doing this the whole time, it’s fun to trip ourselves up and see if we can do it. It’s really hard, right? Thanks to all the volunteers, by the way, who did that.
Micah: Good job.
Eric: It’s not as easy as it looks, maybe?
[Audience applauds]
Eric: So I wanted to say – because we all read the epilogue when it was first published in 2007, which was 17 years ago, and we reread it earlier today – and I want to ask how we feel about it now, if we remember how we felt about it then versus now. Also, please welcome to the stage our wonderful social media manager, Chloé Laverson!
[Audience cheers]
Eric: Hi, Chloé.
Chloé Laverson: Hi, everyone. I’m sorry, I just got a little sick, so…
Eric: Stage fright.
Chloé: Yeah, stage fright. I’m so nervous just being around the two of you.
Eric: [laughs] That’s the right answer. Welcome back. Micah, what are your thoughts now, having just read the epilogue after a long time?
Micah: I enjoyed it, but I know that there’s a bit of controversy, right, around the epilogue?
Eric: There was. When it came out, as I recall, it was very divisive. Some people questioned whether an epilogue should be there at all. Others, I think, like myself, maybe saw it as a way for the author to… I was like, “She just wrote seven whole books that we loved, and this little thing that we didn’t really love, but it’s her way of saying goodbye to the characters. We can give her that.”
Chloé: I don’t think it should have been written. I don’t think the epilogue should exist.
Eric: Hot take!
Chloé: Chloé will always bring hot takes; y’all know if you listen. But I just think that she should have left it open for all of us. It is too perfect; everyone’s paired up. I’m sorry, let me just say one thing: Ron would 100% be a bachelor still at this time. He needs to grow a little bit. I’m serious. And if he marries Hermione, it’s her second marriage.
[Everyone laughs]
Chloé: No, I’m not kidding. It’s crazy that they all would just perfectly live happy ever after, after all that they’ve been through, the trauma that they experienced and this entire wizarding war, and then it’s just like, “Yeah,” and everything’s so good and so perfect. And I get that. It’s almost like, “Oh, yay, they all get to live out a happily ever after,” but it just feels almost clipped. So I think other people felt that way too.
Eric: Don’t they deserve a happily ever after? After all they’ve been through?
Chloé: I agree with you, but I think it should have been left open for us to decide what was their happily ever after.
Eric: Well, that is the criticism I remember about the epilogue when it first aired, was that for fanfiction writers, it was like a big middle finger. It was literally “However you thought -” or any reader, really “- how you thought these characters might be paired up differently, here’s the answer to all of them. Here’s the answer to all the relationships. There’s nothing left up to interpretation. And if you’re a fanfic writer who happens to ship Hermione with literally anybody else, sorry. And also, here’s what all our awful kids’ names are.”
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: The only thing I disliked about it was the kids’ names. I’m sure, Micah, you probably agree.
Micah: Well, so it’s interesting. If the book had ended on the previous chapter, I think… well, I’m curious to ask, do people feel like it would have been good enough resolution, Harry talking with portrait Dumbledore about the resolution of the Deathly Hallows? Would that have been sufficient to close out the entire series?
Chloé: I see nods, but “Woo” or something.
Eric: Actually, show of hands: Who thinks that the epilogue is okay and it’s good that it’s in there?
Chloé: Okay.
Eric: And that’s a fair amount of people, and I don’t necessarily feel one way or the other, but who thinks that it actually either should be changed in a pretty big way or not in the book at all?
Micah: Wow.
Eric: Changed, okay.
Chloé: They’re like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Changed or not in there?”
Micah: So I looked it up; the last line, then, would have been – if it ended with the previous chapter – Harry speaking and saying, “I’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime,” which I feel is pretty fair.
Eric: That’s kind of good. That’s better than “All was well,” in a way.
Chloé: I do love the “All was well” motif; I’m not going to lie. That’s really beautiful, so I will give the epilogue that for sure. It just felt unnecessary. And honestly, can I…? Maybe another hot take, of course. It feels like almost a fanfic. You know what I mean? She’s like, “And everyone got married,” and the names are crazy… it really feels like a fanfic. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, there’s that affect?
Chloé: Yeah, I think so. It feels like someone who’s 14 and just read the books and is like, “Okay, now I’m going to name the kids of all the main characters.” [laughs]
Eric: You know what’s funny? It’s because for the longest time, Rowling said she had actually written the final chapter first and stored it in a safe before all the rest, so maybe she was much younger and…
Chloé: But is “19 years later” the final chapter? Or is it what you just said, is it the last…?
Micah: I think it was the epilogue.
Chloé: It was the epilogue that she wrote?
Eric: I think it was the epilogue. But there was also controversy because it didn’t end on “scar”; does everybody remember this? There was an early interview where she said, “I’ve already written the final chapter. Also, I’ve already known what the final sentence would be,” and somehow it came out that the last word would be “scar.” We all get Deathly Hallows at midnight on July whatever, 2007, and then the last word wasn’t “scar,” it was “well.” And I was like, “Well…”
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: However, upon being asked, the author did say that I believe the sentence would have been “Only those who loved Harry could make out the faint outline on his forehead of a distinct lightning bolt scar,” which is really freaking awesome, actually!
Chloé: It is. It is really cool.
Eric: It’s a little bit of magic.
Chloé: It’s beautiful. I do think that… I love that we think that the scar is still really prominent by the end, because it’s always a reminder, and I think that they need a reminder in the wizarding world. They’ve had two of these wars; let’s not have a third.
Eric: Yeah, I like that a lot.
Micah: So the names, though.
[Everyone laughs]
Chloé: Let’s talk about it.
Micah: For somebody who was so good naming characters, what happened?
Chloé: That’s true. That’s so real.
Eric: Yeah, actually, that credit is due before the epilogue. Yeah, I agree.
Chloé: I have strong feelings, and I know that everyone has talked these names to death. I know all of you have had this conversation with your friends and been like, “Are you kidding me? Did she really not name one kid Hagrid?” And I agree with you; I have… why did she name Harry’s two…? Well, he has three kids; two of them are named after a couple, which is so weird to me. I don’t know if anyone else feels…
Eric: So Lily and James are siblings.
Chloé: They’re siblings in this gen, but they’re married in the Marauders? That feels icky to me. It feels a little weird. Also, Al is his nickname in the epilogue. Albus. Can you imagine in 2017 having your name, your nickname, be Al, and going to school?
Eric: Maybe it was a prediction that just went awry. She thought Al was coming back.
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: “By 2017, this will be the biggest name on the… oh,” and then it never happened.
Chloé: Honestly, I’m not surprised Cursed Child happened, because if my name was Al, I would definitely be upset.
[Eric laughs]
Chloé: And Scorpius too. His parents are basically setting himself up to be evil. Thank God he doesn’t turn out to be. But Scorpius? Please.
Eric: It’s a bit strange. It just felt… see, here’s the problem with writing any of this, is we weren’t familiar with these characters, so it’s the snippet you get of them. And if it’s like, “What’s in a name?” It seemed that there was, in fact, more of this idea of naming your kid after your parent, to honor your parent. But again, if Snape gets a name reference…
Micah: The guy that creeped on your grandma.
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: Are you kidding? Crazy. Oh, and then…
Eric: Well, then where’s the Hagrid, though?
Chloé: Well, then you name your other kid after said Grandma. That’s wild.
Eric: Oh, yeah!
Chloé: James, Lily, and Snape are all represented in siblings. It’s like, what is that?
Eric: And they were all kind of romantically entangled.
Chloé: Funky, man.
Eric: The more I think about this, the less… oh, God.
Chloé: Yeah, it’s diabolical is what it is. [laughs]
Eric: But we also learn about other characters, right? We learn about Draco’s kid is there. We learn about… Teddy and Victoire show up.
Chloé: So one thing that I really wish we could change is I want to know more about Teddy. And I do think that what’s special about the epilogue is that we do get names, which has made it so fanfic writers can take these characters and go crazy with them.
Eric: That’s true enough.
Chloé: But I will say, I think the names are the reason that Marauders are more popular to write fanfic than third gen.
Eric: Oh, wow.
Chloé: Genuinely. I think that maybe if their names were different, people would be more interested in writing about them. [laughs] But I want to know more about Teddy. I want to know… all we know is that he’s snogging Victoire. That’s all we know about him. That’s all we get.
Eric: And we kind of worked out that he’s graduated from Hogwarts by that point, right? Because if he was just born, and this is 19 years…
Chloé: Yeah, so the age difference is… uh-oh.
Micah: Noticeable.
Chloé: Yeah, it’s a little Viktor/Hermione situation. [laughs] But I want to know if Teddy is training to be an Auror and following in his mom’s footsteps, or… I want more than, “Oh, he’s making out with his girlfriend in the corner,” which is weird. You pointed that out earlier. [laughs]
Micah: It was a little strange for that to be included, forced in there.
Chloé: Yeah, “By the way, they’re making out, just so you know.” That’s a lot.
Eric: The things that I like about the epilogue… and I can kind of see where Harry is coming from with Albus Severus, right? It’s the dichotomy of man. You have Albus Dumbledore, great man, and then you have Severus, who was deeply flawed but ultimately saved the world.
Chloé: Are we saying that Albus Dumbledore is not deeply flawed? Are you taking the Andrew Sims approach today? [laughs]
Eric: Oh my God! I think there’s a spell on these individual mics.
Chloé: For real. They’re both flawed, and it honestly kind of makes me sad, in a way, that one person got Albus Severus, because first of all, what a weight to carry. And then JKR wrote Cursed Child and made him also super flawed and super complicated as a character.
Eric: I think she “authorized” the story.
Chloé: Okay, well, but whatever it is, these names for some reason make you super complicated as a human.
Eric: Yeah, why give a kid that much baggage?
Chloé: Exactly.
Micah: So I’d heard this theory about Albus Severus specifically because then it gives him the initials A.S.P., asp, which is a snake, and he ends up getting Sorted into Slytherin.
Chloé: Ohh.
Eric: Foreshadowing.
Chloé: Do you think that she knew when she wrote this – apparently, before the entire series – that she was also going to put…? Well, I guess she did.
Eric: Well, I wouldn’t hold her to every word was the same in 1991.
Chloé: [laughs] Right, it clearly changed.
Eric: No, and that’s not how writing works. There’s no reason why an editor wouldn’t… because you wouldn’t get it fully edited in 1991. So I think some things obviously organically changed, but the general layout and in terms of it… I don’t know. I did see it at the time, because I was surrounded by a bunch of people who were writing fanfic, as a giant “F you” to people, as like, “Don’t touch my canon. Here’s how they all end up. Here’s how they pair. And if you write a fic that’s different, you’re not canon compliant.”
Chloé: Not going to lie to you, if I reread Deathly Hallows – and I will when y’all eventually get to it – I’m not going to read the epilogue and I’m going to read a Dramione fic that I prefer as my end. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, all right.
Chloé: And I encourage all of you to pick a fic that you prefer as the ending to the story.
Eric: Wow. Yeah, I kind of still feel, in spite of everything, the same, where it’s like, “Okay.” And I have many, many problems with Deathly Hallows, but I think the epilogue is… eh, let’s give her that. If it’s an emotional conclusion, if that’s what she cried writing, or like to think… however, I don’t necessarily like the Teddy Lupin… the series had to end on an orphan.
Chloé: Oh, lord.
Eric: I think that’s just an excuse to be completely…
Chloé: Well, you said that it closed canon off, and that was a common, I guess, critique of the epilogue. But to me, that was the only opening, or that was the solid opening. Her ending with Teddy made me feel like she might write about Teddy, and that gave… because yeah, I mean, she loves her orphans. So I was thinking maybe…
Eric: That could be cool. I hope he has a happy life.
Chloé: There’s incredible fanfics about Teddy Lupin, though, so I encourage everyone to check them out.
Eric: Yeah, and I think that’s really something that we’ve learned; why the fandom is still able to exist and why the podcast is still able to exist 19 years later is that people are still actively engaging with the source material, and whether that’s through new fanfic, whether it’s through listening to a couple of geezers on a podcast that have been doing this since before the last book…
Chloé and Micah: Speak for yourself.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Anyway. Sorry, a couple young’uns on a podcast. But yeah, I’ve been MuggleCasting more than half my life, which is crazy.
Chloé: That is crazy.
Eric: It’s really crazy.
Chloé: You’ve definitely been MuggleCasting most of my life.
Micah: Wow.
Eric: I know; last year we did this whole thing, “Is MuggleCast older than ____?” and it was like, older than the iPhone, older than…
Chloé: Not older than me.
Eric: No, but only just.
Chloé: But only by a few years. [laughs]
Eric: Preschool Chloé.
Chloé: Yeah. But you know what? It’s so beautiful that y’all have been able to come up with new things, and you always keep it interesting.
Eric: Were there any other thoughts on the epilogue before we move on to our first game segment? I think it’ll be one of those continually divisive things where it’s like, “Oh, what’s this about?”
Chloé: Oh, Harry should have ended up with Luna. [laughs]
Eric: You would say that with those Spectrespecs on.
Chloé: No, it’s not… well, I think I should have ended up with Professor Longbottom, if I’m picking who I’m ending up with.
Eric: Oh, okay, okay.
Chloé: But I think that Harry and Luna just had such a beautiful connection throughout the books that I honestly think they would have had such a beautiful marriage. But that’s the only small thing I would change. Minor detail. No big thing.
Eric: “Let’s change the epilogue so it suits me specifically.”
Chloé: Isn’t that what fanfic is? [laughs]
Eric: Yes, and you know what? More power to the people who do, because it’s more than I could do.
“What if?”
Eric: We actually have a fourth guest that we have not yet introduced to the show. Everybody, please give a warm Hogwarts welcome to… the Hogwarts Sorting Hat!
[Audience applauds]
Chloé: I honestly had no idea where you were going with that. I was like, “Wait, you didn’t tell us.”
Micah: I thought it was going to be Melissa, John, or Frak.
[Eric laughs]
Chloé: Me too. I was so ready.
Eric: [imitating the Sorting Hat] “Hello, everyone.”
Chloé: Lovingly Sortie.
Eric: Yeah, Sortie! Sortie is what we call him. So the Sorting Hat is here, and for those of you who attended our MuggleCast meetup…
Chloé: We love you and we think you’re the best.
Eric: … you may know what this is going to be, but we actually have suggestions for our “What if?” segment that was submitted by all of our listeners, and we have not laid eyes on them before. They’re alternative questions, “What would have happened?” We theorize how the series would be different with a different ending, or with one particular detail changed. One example I will give – and we’re going to start with that one, actually, before digging into our pal the hat – is “What would happen in Half-Blood Prince if Harry had drank the potion in the cave other than Dumbledore?”
Chloé: Oh my God. He doesn’t need any more trauma. Oh my goodness.
Eric: [laughs] Because Dumbledore very famously was like, “This must be me; nothing you do…” He didn’t let Harry do anything in the cave, because he was bearing the weight.
Chloé: It didn’t really have to be him, though.
Eric: Right.
Chloé: It could have been Harry.
Eric: We also didn’t know exactly what it did.
Chloé: Yeah, that’s true.
Eric: I think the common conjecture now is that it forced Dumbledore to relive some of the worst moments of his life, such as when he couldn’t protect or save his sister.
Chloé: I almost think it might have been a better play – a horrifying play, but almost better – if Harry drank it, because Dumbledore probably had better capabilities to get them out of there, and also knew all the secrets of the cave and just didn’t tell Harry ahead of time. Why couldn’t Dumbledore have been like, “Hey, fire is going to fight these Inferi that are in the lake”?
Micah: But maybe then there wouldn’t have been any Inferi, because Dumbledore would have…
Eric: Known not to disturb the water?
Chloé: Right, exactly. That’s what I’m saying.
Eric: Oh, but you had to because of the… to refill the potion.
Micah: No.
Chloé: Well, no, because he was trying to hydrate Dumbledore, so he was getting water from the lake and it was disappearing.
Eric: Oh, so he could’ve hydrated…?
Chloé: No, it really probably should have been Harry, but Dumbledore, I guess his thought process was he didn’t want to torture Harry any more.
Micah: Dumbledore was like 150; he’s probably…
Chloé: He’s like, “I’m on the way out, babes. All good; I can do it.” Well, that was probably his reasoning. He’s old, decrepit, ready to go.
[Audience laughs]
Eric: I think, too, it did substantially weaken Dumbledore, to the point where I think I can see the argument where would the events of the lightning-struck tower have happened differently?
Chloé: Probably, because he would have been all there. He was so weak.
Eric: But at the same time, he was ready to go.
Chloé: He planned his death; that’s the other thing.
Eric: It did need to be Snape that killed him. So I guess regardless, Dumbledore would have died in the next chapter.
Chloé: And Harry wouldn’t. Harry this way didn’t have to relive his trauma, but he also got traumatized watching Dumbledore. There’s no winning no matter what.
Eric: I completely agree. So let’s start pulling from our friend the hat. Micah, you can actually go first on the left. What other “What ifs?”
Micah: So am I asking the two of you, then?
Eric: Well, no, you’re also participating.
Micah: Oh.
Eric: You might have the only answer.
Chloé: You might be smarter than us. Yeah, probably.
Micah: So “What if Dudley hadn’t eaten the Ton-Tongue Toffee…” tongue twisted me…
[Chloé laughs]
Micah: “… until after Arthur and the other Weasleys had left Privet Drive?”
[Audience laughs]
Eric: Uh, dead.
[Micah laughs]
Eric: We just covered this on Goblet of Fire during our episode, but Arthur Weasley was put in an impossible situation by his sons, who… they’re already predisposed to distrust wizards, and now you’ve created this incident where you again have put Dudley in harm’s way.
Chloé: I think Fred and George are an Azkaban, if that’s the case.
Eric: Well, for murder!
Chloé: Or whatever juvenile version of that there is, because I mean, that is fully Muggle abuse. It was already, but that’s death. Yeah, he murdered a Muggle. They’re probably going to Azkaban, and Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes is never taking off, and that’s a bummer too.
Micah: But Fred would have lived.
Chloé: Oh. Whoa.
Eric: Is it living if you’re in Azkaban?
Chloé: Yeah, that’s a big question mark, definitely. Well, I wonder if they’re minors if they would have gotten less time? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe Fred would have lived. Well, but then, when they do the breakout in Azkaban, are we sure? [laughs]
Eric: Dudley would be gone.
Chloé: Yeah, Dudley is dead.
Eric: It’s one of Fred and George’s worst actions, and there’s a short list of them. But it’s real bad, because nobody else would be able to reverse the magic that it caused. So that was a really good question. Thank you to who submitted it.
Chloé: To suffocate via tongue.
Eric: It’s also one of the worst ways to die.
Chloé: Yeah, definitely.
Eric: Especially in fear, and with your loved ones right next to you but completely unable to help.
Micah: It’s like, Game of Thrones level.
Eric: Honestly, it’s very purple wedding.
Chloé: Well, that’s not a children’s book at that point. No children are reading that.
[Chloé and Eric laugh]
Eric: So Chloé, would you like to grab the next “What if?”
Chloé: I would. Also, shout-out to Meg for…
Eric: Vetting!
Chloé: … vetting all of these. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, and making sure they were all the same size paper, too, which is really cool.
Chloé: Oh, this is another Dursleys question. Okay, “What if the Dursleys gave Harry real love and supported him as a wizard?” Aww. Don’t we wish?
Eric: That would never happen.
[Everyone laughs]
Chloé: But if it did, I think that… ooh, this is maybe a really hot take. Would Harry be the savior of the wizarding world then? No. I think it would probably be Neville.
[Audience member cheers]
Chloé: I think Neville is the Chosen One if Harry gets real love.
Eric: I wonder if… so Harry’s abuse and neglect makes him the only candidate for the reason that he is the hero?
Chloé: Well, there’s obviously the prophecy, right? But I wonder if Harry goes to school and has less of a need to prove himself, less of a need for validation from others, and less of a need to find adventure and save everyone and everything, because he already knows that he can go home and get that validation and that love… I mean, Harry is so desperate to prove that he belongs, and I think if he had a place of belonging already, less you would need to prove that as much.
Eric: I really want that for Harry, actually, though.
Chloé: I really do too. I really do too. But he gets real love.
Eric: It’s nice to know that in an alternate version of the epilogue, Dudley would have been showing up at King’s Cross with his wizard child.
Chloé: Why was that taken out?
Eric: I don’t know. Because that child would’ve been named something crazy.
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: Probably Vernon, honestly.
Eric: Rowling looked at it and was like, “That’s one too many names. Cross it off. I’ll give them a bone. Anyone can name Dudley’s kid whatever they want.”
Chloé: I do love that headcanon, though, that Dudley Dursley has a magical child. Absolutely.
Eric: Yeah, that’s so cool. All right, here’s another “What if?” Shake it up, shake it up. Thank you, hat. This one: “What if Voldemort believed the prophecy to be about Neville, actually?” Okay, so there we have it.
Chloé: Wow. We did not set this up, by the way. [laughs]
Eric: No, we didn’t.
Chloé: We know they’re flowing together.
Eric: But again, that was kind of my question when you were talking about Harry receiving love: As far as I know, the prophecy was set to be on Harry after that first choice, which house does Voldemort go into? But if he believes it to be about Neville, it is questionable whether Lily and James would have survived the attack by Voldemort’s followers that incapacitated Frank and Alice, and whether there’s some future… if Harry would be the memory-addled child at Hogwarts due to the result of…
Chloé: And they just switch lives? Sort of switched at birth situation?
Micah: That’s a no win situation.
Chloé and Eric: Yeah.
Chloé: Also, Neville… and I’m going to be so honest. Neville is my boy. I said it earlier; I’d marry him. He comes to his own much later than Harry. Harry, if I’m so honest with you, already has a lot that Neville doesn’t in the first few books, so I imagine the events would go much differently. Would Voldemort get the Philosopher’s Stone? I’m not kidding. If I’m so honest, Neville isn’t quite as strong magically, and we know later, it’s because of his wand and a lot of other different reasons, but Neville is really nervous and a scared, anxious kid, and Harry Potter is a little stronger in the first books. A lot stronger.
Micah: Do we think Alice would have stepped in front of the spell?
Chloé: 100%.
Eric: Yes, and that’s the thing about that that I don’t like, is it all comes down to, what, Lily did something no mother ever did at all whatsoever in stepping in front of…?
Chloé: No, Alice would’ve 100%.
Eric: No, absolutely. That happened hundreds of times on a battlefield, clearly.
Chloé: I mean, none of us are parents, but I’m sure there’s moms in the audience that were like, “Yes. I would 100% save my child.”
Eric: And I think then there’s a reading where it’s like, because she was given a choice and she chose to…?
Micah: But maybe that’s the better question: Would she have been given the choice? Because wasn’t the whole reason why Lily was given the choice was because of Snape?
Chloé: Oh. Oh, god.
Eric: Well, here’s the next one.
[Chloé and Eric laugh]
Eric: Oh no! This is horrifying. “What if Luna had been killed in her mom’s accident and never went to Hogwarts? How would that have affected Harry’s story?” This one’s made for Chloé here.
Chloé: I think that Luna brought Harry… I think Luna low-key was Harry’s therapist. There needs to be therapists at Hogwarts. You know this, we know this.
Eric: Oh, God, so badly.
Chloé: But I think that Luna in the fifth and sixth book really give Harry some much, much needed therapy sessions, and she relates to him in a way that literally no one else can. No one else. And I think that without Luna there, Harry would have been felt much more alone in the fifth book, oh my God, and I think that he wouldn’t have felt as much solace. And Luna as well, she just, I think, is a comfort to him in a way that none of the other main characters are, so I don’t know. I think Harry would have a way worse time.
Eric: He would be less stable.
Chloé: Way less stable.
Eric: Less supported. And I love the way it’s so rich in the books; I mean, Luna being one of the best characters, but it’s so rich in the way that Harry at first is sort of repelled by Luna, like, “Who is this crazy?” And then he’s like, “Oh, she actually is… I’m relying on her emotionally.”
Chloé: He’s like, “Who is this crazy?” [laughs] “I need it.”
Eric: But also because she’s able to hear the voices beyond the veil, and he eventually finds a kindred spirit.
Chloé: Yeah, their crazies match. 100%, yeah.
Eric: [laughs] Who wants to do the next “What if?”
Micah: “What if we got a spinoff show about another wizarding school?” From the Quizzitch master himself.
Chloé: I was going to say, you’re literally sporting Beauxbatons. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, yes! Oui, oui, oui!
Chloé: Wow, very good.
Eric: [attempting a French accent] We need to hear about the Beauxbatons. We need to learn. What is Madame Maxime’s deal here?
Chloé: I’m not going to comment on the accent.
Eric: We need to know what it is.
Chloé: That’s very good, uh-huh.
Eric: Thank you. Merci.
Chloé: De rien.
Eric: Yes, I feel as though Ilvermorny is the – maybe for better or for worse – natural option for a spinoff at this point, because it’s the one that Warner Bros. and the production team have actually invested the most in, despite not… I expected we would get a shot of Ilvermorny, what it looks like, in one of the Fantastic Beasts movies.
Chloé: Still holding on for those last two.
Eric: After all, two of the core four – or what used to be the core four – went there for school! So I don’t know. But yeah, what if we got a spinoff series? I think it would be actually really good to see Mahoutokoro.
Chloé: I mean, I’m obviously biased and I want Beauxbatons, but I think that a spinoff of any of them would be cool.
Eric: I want to apologize for my accent, by the way.
Chloé: [in a French accent] It’s okay. I forgive you.
Eric: Thank you.
Micah: I’d want to see maybe Durmstrang.
Chloé: I was about to say, you totally give that vibe.
Micah: When Grindelwald was there.
Chloé and Eric: Ohh!
Eric: “Young Grindelwald Chronicles”!
Chloé: Wait, like, gay wizards. I love that.
Eric: Gay, dangerous, Dark wizards.
Chloé: Yeah. Gay, dangerous, Dark wizards, ooh. In the north too.
Eric: I can see that selling.
Chloé: That would be cool.
Eric: Wait, what about the north?
Chloé: Well, no, they’re in the cold. I don’t know. I feel like…
Eric: They need to snuggle up at night.
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: No, the… [laughs] “There’s only one bed!”
Eric: It gets really in that ship!
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: No, I feel like the aesthetic would be really cool of Durmstrang. I feel like you could totally be a professor at Durmstrang, like, cast in this spinoff.
Micah: Okay.
Chloé: Yeah?
Micah: All right.
Chloé: Okay.
Eric: Micah, you’re next. Oh…
Micah: That’s okay. I’ll go again.
Chloé: Just skip me again. It’s fine.
Micah: “What if the Dementors in Little Whinging had successfully performed the Dementor’s -“ poor Dudley “- Dementor’s Kiss on Dudley?”
[Eric laughs]
Chloé: Y’all are so dark. Dang.
Micah: Dead.
Chloé: Dudley is dead.
Eric: Dudley is worse than dead.
Chloé: Oh, yeah. Dudley’s soul is gone.
Eric: Here’s the thing, and this is one of the most alarming moments in the series, where it comes back to Dumbledore, I think. It really comes back to… that’s the weirdest thing about Mrs. Figg. We were so, so excited to learn about Arabella Figg, that she was referenced way back in the first book… the last time something that cool was put in that early in the series, it turned out to be Sirius.
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: And then… and you know I like…
Chloé: We know.
Eric: That guy’s pretty cool. And then it turned out to be a woman who’s a Squib, which is not a problem, except she was the only protector for Harry this whole time, where if anyone broke through the amazing spell that Dumbledore placed, the only one who could defend him is somebody who can’t even defend themselves against, say, instance, Dementor attack, or save Dudley’s life!
Chloé: But that’s only because Mundungus, though. Because Mundungus was gone. In theory, there was a patrol always there beyond Mrs. Figg that could help him. So I mean, if we’re honest, there’s two “What ifs,” right? If Mundungus hadn’t left, or if someone had been else had been on patrol, Dudley wouldn’t have died, or wouldn’t have had his soul leave his… whatever. You know.
Eric: Yeah, I just think that it might be better… Mundungus, everyone knew he was unreliable…
Chloé: Right, so he shouldn’t have been in the patrol in the first place.
Eric: Well, and if you get to the point where a Dementor gives you a kiss, you can’t really give that back. No take-backsies on Dementors’ Kisses.
Chloé: Well, no, what I’m saying, though, is…
Eric: He would’ve been able to cast a Patronus.
Chloé: Yeah, before. He would’ve…
Eric: He would have stepped up to the charge and just “Expecto Patronum!” This is the least likely Mundungus thing to ever do. But at the same time, yeah, I can see it. I think you lose Vernon and Petunia forever. Eventually they come over to maybe what they did to Harry was wrong, or whatever, whatever; that would never have happened if their prized son is murdered by wizards. Harry would not have been able to have their house as a refuge after that point.
Chloé: That’s so true.
Eric: They would have said, “Screw it.”
Chloé: [laughs] “Absolutely not,” yeah.
Eric: So it would have been a lot more precarious. And who knows? I mean, maybe the last two books would have been even worse for Harry.
Chloé: Y’all are really dark with these “What ifs?”
Eric: So we’ll do one more, and Chloé, you should do the honors.
Chloé: Hopefully I pick a happy one.
Micah: Just as long as it’s not about Dudley.
Chloé: That’s going to be a no; it’s not happy. Well, could be happy. “What if James’s love blocked Voldemort’s curse and Harry and Lily survived?” Well, then we wouldn’t have any… it would be Neville. [laughs]
Eric: We’d have a positive male, fatherly role model in the Harry Potter series.
Chloé: I think we already do in James, do we not? I mean, unfortunately, we didn’t get to see him as a father later on, but everything he did…
Eric: It’s questionable.
Chloé: What do you mean?
Eric: Well, no, think of all the other men – okay, Arthur Weasley – but so much of that feels broken. Harry could really honor his father’s memory in an important way. I’m not sure.
[sound in background]
Eric: Someone’s playing a horn.
Micah: That’s James.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Oh, that’s James. He’s back to get us! Yeah, I am… if it was James’s love, I suppose it doesn’t matter in that Harry was able to find that he was loved, and that was…
Chloé: Well, I think it’s beautiful in a way that we don’t always place as much importance on a father’s love, just in society in general, and I think that’s beautiful in a way. I don’t think JKR would ever do it, but…
Eric: Well, and I think part of that motivation of that plot line of Harry Potter was as a result of Rowling’s own involvement with her mother.
Chloé: Well, yeah, and being a single mother too.
Eric: Yeah, so really can’t argue or find fault with that. But yeah, it would have maybe completed James’s arc slightly more, except he died protecting his family and his loved ones, and that’s pretty much the same thing.
Chloé: Yeah, I was about to say, that’s the same thing. [laughs]
Eric: That’s the same thing, yeah. He still died protecting his son. So whether it was James or Lily’s love that technically did it, you have basically the same book series?
Chloé: Well, no, because Lily is around…
Eric: Oh, Lily is around.
Chloé: … so he’s not with the Dursleys, he experiences real love, he grows up a wizard…
Eric: And then he never aspires to do anything, and he’s not that great.
Chloé: [laughs] Well, you could argue that Harry Potter is an average wizard in extraordinary circumstances, so without those circumstances, would he be just a regular old Hogwarts kid?
Eric: Fair enough.
Make the Connection
Eric: So we are now going to move on to an audience interactive segment closing out the show.
Chloé: Woo.
Eric: I’m going to see if I can intro this properly. M-m-m-m-make the c-c-c-connection!
Chloé: Solid.
Micah: That was really good.
Chloé: 10 out of 10. I wasn’t sure where that was going, but…
Eric: Oh, you’ve seen the document.
Chloé: No, no, no, I’ve seen the document. [laughs] I meant you.
Eric: Make the Connection. Okay, okay. So the way we play this game is actually it’s audience participation, so whoever has an idea, please come up to the mic at the center of the room. But we, your beloved panelists, are going to have to make the connection between Harry Potter and anything that you suggest that is not intrinsically Harry Potter-related. So it can be things like “Make a connection between Harry Potter and attending a meeting that could have just been an email”; “Make the connection between Harry Potter and hearing the ice cream truck rolling down your street.” It’s that sort of thing. And honestly, the zanier the better. We played this game in Chicago last year, and somebody referenced that Dave Matthews Band incident where the tour bus did the thing over the Chicago River…
Chloé: Yeah, Dave Matthews band over the Chicago River, and them turning the Chicago River green? Yeah, and hot chocolate.
Eric: There were a lot of really cool connections.
Chloé: Just get funky with it. Get crazy with it. We’ll try our best. [laughs]
Eric: We’ll try our best. We’re testing our skills more than we do our…
Chloé: Yeah, our improv.
Eric: Does anybody have any suggestions for making the connection? Thank you. Somebody is walking on up.
Chloé: Also, introduce yourself and say your House.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, let’s see where you’re from.
Audience member: Okay, I’m CJ Marie.
Chloé: Hi, CJ Marie.
Audience member: I’m a Gryffindor, and my make the connection is Travis Kelce on stage at the Taylor Swift concert and Harry Potter.
Chloé: Oh, this is me, boys. [laughs] Travis Kelce on stage at the era tour and Harry Potter.
Eric: Wait, what did he do with the eras tour on stage?
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: Okay, so he was… I’m sorry, I’m not keeping them up, I guess.
Eric: Context, context! He’s just there? He was just on the stage?
Chloé: So you know that they’re dating?
Eric: Yes.
Chloé: Okay, and that Travis Kelce is on the Chiefs?
Eric: He plays for the Chiefs. Okay.
Chloé: Yes, so Travis Kelce during one of the Eras Tours show in London, I believe, went on stage and performed with her and did her set with The Tortured Poets Department, which is her latest album, and there’s a few songs about him on it.
Eric: And so he did the whole…?
Chloé: No, he did a little makeup thing, and he carried her, and it was very cute.
Eric: Oh, so he didn’t sing.
Chloé: No.
Micah: How about Viktor Krum dancing with Hermione at the Yule Ball?
Eric: Yeah!
Chloé: That’s true. An athlete and…
Eric: An athlete, yeah.
Chloé: Definitely that works. I also think…
Eric: The audience really loves that one, and I do too.
Chloé: Look at you. Okay, pop culture.
Eric: Okay. But thank you for explaining that essential context to me.
Chloé: Yes, essential context for everyone.
Eric: Okay, okay, cool. Well, that’s adorable.
Chloé: Travis Kelce is definitely the Viktor Krum of… the real world? [laughs]
Eric: He’s just a guy!
Chloé: He is.
Eric: A really sweet, genuine… and that’s the one thing that rereading Goblet of Fire now is talking about.
Chloé: Viktor Krum is so cutie-patootie.
Eric: Viktor Krum is actually great.
Chloé: Stan is too.
Eric: Stan is too, yes.
Chloé: But yeah, Viktor Krum is so cute. And Travis Kelce just wants to show her off. And that’s the other thing; Hermione has never really been the pretty girl, and she gets to be, so I think that there’s a lot to that. Slay, Micah.
Micah: Glad I could…
Chloé: Proud of you. Okay, Taylor Swift fan.
Eric: Okay, that warmed us up.
Chloé: Micah is a Swiftie, confirmed at LeakyCon.
Eric: Nice. That’s going to make the headlines in the SEO.
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: Okay, where’s our next suggestion? Oh, we’ll do you right next.
Audience member: Hi, guys. I have kind of a weird, but sort of broad one. So…
Chloé: Let’s get it.
Audience member: Okay. So I’m Anna, by the way.
Eric: Hi, Anna.
Chloé: I remember you from last year.
Audience member: Yes, I had the Purple People-Eater last year. This year, I’m thinking Harry Potter and a hair dye incident that went wrong.
Chloé: [gasps] Oh, oh, I already know this. I already know this. First of all…
Eric: So a hair dye incident?
Chloé: A hair dye incident that went wrong.
Eric: Okay, okay.
Chloé: Ron’s eyebrow, one eyebrow is yellow after a mishap in class, so that’s hair dye gone wrong. Also, the Wonder Witch products are used by everyone pre-Yule Ball, pretty much. All the girls. So I imagine that they have a hair dye potion. Laura and I have talked about this extensively, actually; we would kill for the Wonder Witch products, specifically the hair dye, where you could wake up in the morning and just snap your fingers and have a new… I would have pink hair, probably, most days.
Eric: That would be cool.
Chloé: Right? So that is definitely a connection with the hair dye. I mean, Tonks when she’s sad can’t dye her hair the color that she wants to, or, well, she probably can, but she doesn’t. That’s also a hair mishap.
Eric: You know what I was thinking of, is there’s that time where Petunia cuts Harry’s hair all short in effort to tame it, and then he’s freaking out about it, and unconsciously, wordlessly, grows it back overnight. I’m like, well, hopefully that skill follows him around, so if he ever messes up dyeing his hair…
Chloé: There you go.
Eric: … he can just go to sleep nervous, and then it’ll be fixed in the morning.
Chloé: That would be amazing. You get a bad haircut and you’re crying after you leave. You tell your stylist, you’re like, “Yeah, it’s great,” and then you cry in your car.
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: We’ve all been there. [laughs] You go to bed, and then you wake up the next day and you’re like, “Wait a minute, it’s exactly what I wanted.”
Eric: Okay, right in front here.
Audience member: I’m Nicole, from Portland.
Chloé and Eric: Hi, Nicole.
Eric: Welcome, welcome.
Audience member: Make the connection between Portland Voodoo Doughnuts’ bacon maple bar.
Eric: Ohh.
Chloé: I just had Voodoo Doughnuts for the first time; so good. Maple bacon bar… that is so specific.
Micah: Seems like something Dudley would eat.
Chloé: Oh, for sure. Or something that maybe the Weasleys come up with, like a doughnut confection?
Eric: Yes, yes, the bizarre flavors that shouldn’t work but do are a staple of the wizarding world books, including… was it lavender? And there was a… they made it…
Chloé: At Florean Fortescue’s?
Eric: Yeah, the ice cream. There are definitely…
Chloé: That could definitely be a Florean Fortescue’s.
Eric: I see Florean Fortescue, and that man is so cool. Did not deserve his fate in the books. Student of history, helps Harry out with his homework, gives him free ice cream every half hour. Amazing guy. Yeah, I can see Florean Fortescue getting into sort of that maple bacon. Maybe your ice cream comes…
Chloé: Is bacon different in the UK?
Eric: I don’t think so.
Chloé: That’s a genuine question. [laughs]
Eric: Because bacon is different than Canadian bacon, right?
Chloé: Yeah, right. Exactly. That’s what I’m asking.
Eric: So yeah, wait, is British bacon Canadian bacon, or is it American bacon? We’re going to have to ask Chris. We’ll ask Chris. Okay, does anybody have another Make the …? Yes, hello.
Audience member: Hi, I’m Allie. I’m a Slytherin.
Eric: Hi, Allie. Welcome. That’s okay; we forgive you.
Chloé: I think it rocks.
Eric: Hee-hee.
Audience member: So I’m a big gymnastics fan, so make the connection between Harry Potter and the balance beam in gymnastics?
Chloé: Well, I think Suni Lee is probably a witch, so… [laughs] There’s no way that she’s able to do those moves without having gone to Hogwarts, for sure. But I mean, I think they kind of do gymnastics when they’re being thrown by the Whomping Willow. Not intentionally, sure, but…
Eric: I also think of how intimidated I was as a kid, maybe six years old, trying the balance beam for the first time because we had this really cool gym teacher that was like, “Here’s your whole obstacle course.” It reminds me of Remus Lupin’s obstacle course for them in the third year.
Chloé: Ooh.
Eric: Didn’t they even have tires? The tire thing where you jump in and out, in and out? Why wouldn’t there be a balance beam there?
Chloé: I wonder if also Quidditch players train in gymnastics, you know how football players do ballet? I’m wondering if…
Micah: Oh yeah, balancing on the broom.
Chloé: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I wonder if Ginny is out here balancing on a beam.
Audience member: Also, Durmstrang connection, right? They do all their tricks and stuff, so they definitely are training.
Chloé: Yeah! That’s true; they really do. I guess you have to be an acrobat to go to Durmstrang. You’ve got to study.
Eric: New canon just dropped. Thank you, Allie. Hello!
Audience member: Hi, I’m Jacob.
Chloé: Hi, Jacob.
Audience member: Harry Potter and goat yoga.
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: That’s for you. That’s all you, babes.
Eric: Oh, oh, oh.
Chloé: That is all Micah.
Micah: After retiring from the Hog’s Head, that’s what Aberforth opens.
[Audience laughs]
Eric: He opens his own this goat yoga place.
Micah: His goat yoga studio.
Eric: Be sure to Evanesco the mats when you first arrive.
[Chloé laughs]
Micah: Not just the mats.
Chloé: Have you ever done goat yoga?
Micah: No.
Chloé: Oh my God, we need to get you into goat yoga.
Micah: I’ll do it. 100%.
Chloé: You’ll do it? I’ll put it on our socials; don’t worry.
Eric: I actually see… all the goat stuff is very fun, but I actually see hippogriff yoga being a thing. Can you imagine going down into child’s pose…
Chloé: They’re so big.
Eric: Well, they’re big, but they’re next to you; this big, majestic beast. Say you’re sandwiched between two hippogriffs and you’re doing yoga, and all of you bow at the same time, and you’re in child’s pose, and then imagine a hippogriff doing…
Chloé: Yeah, but what happens when you do the other poses? [laughs]
Eric: I’m sorry, this is actually… this is unpopular with the audience, let the record state…
Chloé: Baby hippogriff yoga.
Eric: … but I think there would be many magical creatures that might be more magical than goats.
Chloé: [gasps] Okay, wait. I’m taking your hippogriff thing; I’m going further. You know how people do yoga on horses? I don’t think that that’s probably good for them, but you could probably do yoga on hippogriffs. You know how the circus…? This is a deep cut, but you could do yoga on full-grown hippogriffs.
Eric: What about…? Now because you said circus, I’m thinking of hanging from a hippogriff’s talons like the trapeze artist.
Chloé: Oh, and then flipping!
Eric: They throw you into a flip kind of a thing.
Chloé: Onto a beam. Where’s Allie?
Eric: Onto a beam!
[Chloé laughs]
Eric: We’ve combined it. Okay, we have two more people. Let’s take both their suggestions for Make the Connection.
Audience member: I am Camden, visiting from Houston, Texas…
Chloé: Hell yeah.
Audience member: … and this is important detail. Harry Potter and Beyoncé’s album Renaissance.
Chloé: Oh!
Micah: That’s totally you.
Audience member: I have some ideas, but I’m curious to know what you’d say.
Chloé: Oh my God. First of all, I loved…
Audience member: Me too, me too.
Chloé: Oh my goodness. Okay, well, “Levi’s Jeans” is probably one of my favorite songs.
Audience member: Okay, that’s from her more recent album.
Chloé: Oh, you’re asking for Renaissance!
Audience member: Yeah, Renaissance. I’m thinking…
Chloé: Girl, give me.
Audience member: I’m thinking “Renaissance” means rebirth, and how Voldemort was constantly trying to rebirth himself.
Chloé: Oh my God, I love how you’re connecting Beyoncé’s iconic Renaissance album…
Audience member: Because it’s everything.
Chloé: … to the ugly little fetus Voldemort. [laughs]
Audience member: The dichotomies. Even her horse, called Renee from Renaissance, Thestrals.
Chloé: That’s true, the Thestrals. That’s a good one. I love that. We were connecting Taylor Swift albums to Harry Potter yesterday, and I think we need to do it for Beyoncé next year.
Audience member: Yes, I want to!
Chloé: Okay, so we’re doing a panel next year? Good to know.
Audience member: For sure, okay. All right, see you next year. [laughs]
Eric: Thank you so much.
Audience member: Hi, my name is Daria. I was at the Taylor Swift one.
[Chloé laughs]
Audience member: Oh, I’m a Hufflepuff…
Chloé: Love.
Eric: Hi!
Audience member: … and my connection is between your favorite meme and Harry Potter.
Chloé: A favorite meme.
Eric: Oooh, that’s good. Do we have to say what our favorite meme is?
Chloé: Yeah, we definitely have to describe it.
Audience member: Please say what it is.
Chloé: Our favorite meme. And my favorite meme is a Vine.
Audience member: That’s fine.
Chloé: Is that okay? And it’s a really… it’s not a super appropriate Vine. It’s “B word, you’re going to step on my cowboy boots? B word, disgusting.”
[Audience laughs]
Chloé: I don’t know if you guys remember that, but I… ooh, I think probably it’s giving Gilderoy, because Gilderoy cared so much about his appearance, and he had the most beautiful set of boots, probably. And I’m picturing Gilderoy having a walk-in closet at Hogwarts. The thing is he doesn’t have the talent to do an Extendable Charm, but maybe he asked Dumbledore, and was like, “Hey, please, I need an extensible closet,” [laughs] and had the most beautiful array of… that’s the closet I want to probably raid. So yeah, look that Vine up if you’re over 18. “Step on my cowboy boots? B word, disgusting,” and that’s my favorite.
Eric: I love this meme that’s… it’s an old tweet that I have saved on my computer for many years, where it’s a NASA scientist, and he says, “You’re back early,” and the astronaut is like, “Yeah, space has monsters.” “What?” And he says, “*cocks shotgun* Space has monsters.”
Chloé: I’m going to have to post these memes so that everyone can see what we’re talking about clearly. [laughs]
Eric: This is unbelievable, yeah. But it’s an urgent, last minute, unexpected thing, and I can just see it taking place at the Ministry of Magic Auror office, like, “Oh, we bit off a little bit more than we could chew with exploring the origins of humanity again” kind of a thing.
Chloé: [laughs] Okay. I like that.
Micah: I like really sarcastic Baby Yoda memes, and I’m trying to think of what the connection is.
[Eric laughs]
Chloé: The constant sharing to your story of Baby Yoda memes. You’ve stopped doing it as much, but it’s every other day. [laughs]
Micah: Yeah, it used to be every other day. I’m trying to think of a connection.
Chloé: We also post memes, by the way, not to shamelessly plug us, but we have sexy memes you should look at on our pages. Baby Yoda?
Eric: I’m looking up these Baby Yoda memes right now.
Chloé: You’re literally… your shirt is a connection. Star Wars.
Micah: There we go.
Chloé: Show off your shirt to everyone. It says, “Use the Force, Harry. – Gandalf,” so just covered all of them. Hit all big three at once.
[Audience applauds]
Eric: [laughs] And that’s a good tie-in. So when we love multiple fandoms and sometimes we might get some things mixed up. Also, thank you to everyone who…
Micah: Thank you all.
Chloé: Yes, thanks for giving us connections. Those were crazy. Those were cuckoo-coo-choo.
Eric: I love that we were able to sustain conversation about Harry Potter for 60 minutes in the year 2024, and that we were able to even have fun with “What ifs?” and alternate universes and all this stuff.
Chloé: Sorry I was late, y’all. Just know I still love you.
Eric: Just absolutely… well, but isn’t it great just to love things? And isn’t it great to be at a convention such as LeakyCon? The last LeakyCon ever…
Chloé: But Enchanti-con.
Eric: … but Enchanti-con is coming to really just celebrate our love of things, and that just really feels great to still be up here, to still be given the stage. We want to thank Melissa for everything that she’s done for us over the years, and we’re very excited to be here. We’re very excited to continue talking about that which we love. And I hope you all start podcasts and start talking about the things that you love.
Chloé: Also, come say hi.