Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #683, Scout the Route! (OOTP Chapter 7, The Ministry of Magic)
Show Intro
[Show music plays]
Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the Wizarding World fandom. I’m Andrew.
Eric Scull: I’m Eric.
Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.
Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.
Andrew: And tonight, Molly is making meatballs!
[Everyone laughs]
Andrew: But before we get to enjoy that delicious meal, we need to get through a grueling day of work and unnecessary persecution at the Ministry of Magic. First of all, though, a couple of announcements: Thank you so much to everyone who has already checked out our pop culture podcast, What the Hype?!, which we launched earlier this year. The four of us and Pam could not be happier with how the show has been going, and we love recording it, and I know our listeners have given us a lot of great feedback too. But since the show has been around for a bit now, we’re pleased to announce that all new episodes will live on the dedicated What the Hype WTF edition feed, which will now just be renamed to What the Hype, and of course, on our YouTube channel as well, which is What the Hype Podcast. The episodes will still be there and we will not be posting new episodes as regularly on the MuggleCast podcast feed.
Eric: Every edition is a WTF edition now.
Andrew: [laughs] Right.
Laura: Exactly.
Eric: The cusses are unleashed.
Andrew: That is fun, yeah. Even though we’re no longer posting episodes of What the Hype?! in the MuggleCast feed, please go and follow the What the Hype?! podcast feed in your favorite podcast app, or, like I said, on YouTube. And thank goodness now we just have this dedicated WTF edition, if you will, because Laura, you, Pam, and I recorded Fourth Wing/Iron Flame episode yesterday, and… pretty adult. [laughs]
Laura: Yeah, I feel like it gets particularly difficult the further you get into Iron Flame to make that conversation PG, so we’re not. [laughs]
Micah: Just a fun, quick story: I was getting into the elevator at work yesterday, and a colleague came up to me and said that they had started listening to What the Hype?!…
Laura: That’s awesome.
Micah: … and then he proceeded to say, “I was very disappointed you were not on the smut episode.”
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Definitely the colleague water cooler conversation. “Why isn’t Micah on the smut episode?”
Laura: Hey, we could always do a part two. Let us know. Pam and I did that one. And on our other show, Millennial, which is hosted by myself, Andrew, and Pam, we on our latest episode discuss where we go from here after the results of last week’s US election, and believe it or not, we actually had a good time doing it. Somehow we got in some catharsis through the existential dread, so if you’re feeling similarly, go check it out.
Micah: It was a good episode. I listened to it.
Andrew: Thank you, Micah.
Laura: Yeah, appreciate your support.
Andrew: Another announcement: You can now gift Patreon memberships! This is a feature we’ve been wanting to see from Patreon for a while, and they got it out just in time for the holiday season, so if you’ve been wanting a membership to our Patreon and you’re still crafting your wish list for Santa, check out Patreon.com/MuggleCast/gift. We’ll have a link in the show notes as well, and now your friend or family member will be able to gift you anywhere from 1 to 12 months of Patreon access. And one perk of becoming a patron is getting access to two brand new bonus MuggleCast episodes every month. Later this week, our newest episode will have us discussing would we date a witch or wizard? And we’ll be looking at the pros and cons, and I want to focus on the drama that could come with such a relationship.
[Eric laughs]
Micah: Shocker.
Andrew: Of course, when I ask this question, I’m presenting it as if we were Muggles. We, of course, are not Muggles, but if we were, would we want to date one of us?
Laura: Shh, Andrew, the International Statute of Secrecy. You can’t just be broadcasting that to people.
Andrew: Crap. [laughs]
Laura: We’re called MuggleCast; it’s our secret identity. You just kind of blew it.
Andrew: Oh, right, right. I’ll get legal on that. We’ll figure out what to do.
[Laura laughs]
Andrew: So one question I want to talk about is would we be jealous of our partner being way more interesting than us as a wizard themselves?
Eric: [laughs] Wow, that assumes a lot.
Andrew: [laughs] I think most of our audience would agree. And what does this mean for the romantic side of our life as well? So we’ll be discussing this in bonus MuggleCast this week. Now time for a little bit of news: Casting seems to be underway for the Harry Potter TV show. Mark Rylance is at the top of the list to play Dumbledore in the Harry Potter TV series. They’re not in talks yet, but Variety reported this week that WB wants Mark Rylance, so now they’re talking to him to see if he will be available and if he wants to take on this massive commitment, which, of course, is going to be a big question for everybody who joins. Have y’all seen Mark Rylance in anything?
Laura: So just looking at his IMDb, I see a couple of things that I know I’ve seen. I can’t say that I’m able to pinpoint him, but that’s not a reflection of him; I’m just really bad at remembering names of actors. [laughs] But he certainly does look like he would fit the part. I think the most recent thing he was in that I saw was Don’t Look Up, Netflix movie a couple of years ago.
Andrew: He was also in The BFG. He was also in Bridge of Spies.
Eric: He got the Academy Award for Supporting Actor for Bridge of Spies, the Spielberg film.
Andrew: Oh, okay. He was also in Ready Player One. I recognize him. I haven’t seen him in a ton of stuff, but he’s definitely a memorable face. He’s a recognizable face in Hollywood, I think.
Eric: Yeah, and Variety‘s article shows the perfect picture of him with a twinkle in his eye and absolutely 100% sells me on Dumbledore.
Andrew: So Eric, you’re saying Mark Rylance has the Dumbledore twinkle.
Eric: He’s got the Dumbledore twinkle.
Andrew: Can he say, “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire” calmly? I think that’s the next question that we don’t yet know the answer to.
Eric: We’re going to have to wait five years to find out.
[Laura laughs]
Micah: It depends who is directing him.
Eric: There’s your… yes, yes.
Micah: I like how Mev put it in the Discord saying that he has “kind eyes.” It’s true.
Andrew: I think generally, he has a Dumbledore look to me. He’s in his mid 60s, too, which is a little younger than Richard Harris was when he got started with the Harry Potter movies. It’s interesting to me that we’re hearing about a specific actor for Dumbledore first; we haven’t heard of any other specific names for the cast yet, and this suggests to me…
Micah: Well, who’s more important, Andrew, than Dumbledore?
Andrew: Well, I couldn’t agree with you more, Micah, but this suggests to me that WB recognizes that as well, and they want to cast everybody else around Dumbledore. They want to play… they want to test all the other future characters and actors off of Dumbledore, so they’ve got to get Dumbledore down early.
Micah: It’s really his story at the end of the day. I mean, who are we kidding?
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: If you really want to build a series that looks as back and forward and is good for the long haul, I think it’s important to get some of these backbone characters – Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid – that are going to be in all of the seasons of the show, so it makes sense to me.
Andrew: That is true. And you can imagine when they cast the trio, they want the kids to work really well off of whoever they select as well.
Laura: Right, I can totally see when they’re auditioning kids, auditioning them with Mark Rylance, for example, to see what their chemistry is like.
Andrew: Well, it’s very exciting to see a name out there now for the Harry Potter cast; we’ll see if this comes to fruition. And MuggleCast will continue to cover any and all Harry Potter TV show developments, so make sure you’re following us in your favorite podcast app and on YouTube for all the latest and greatest Harry Potter TV news.
Eric: Woo.
Chapter by Chapter: Time-Turner
Andrew: All right, now it’s time for Chapter by Chapter, and this week we’re discussing Chapter 7 of Order of the Phoenix, “The Ministry of Magic.”
Eric: Yes, we last discussed this chapter on Episode 240, called “Join the Weasleys,” for October 2, 2011, and Episode 440, “Return to Sender,” for October of 2019. We’re always talking about this chapter in fall, as it turns out. 2011, 2019, 2024…
Andrew: Let’s hop into the Time-Turner and see what we discussed last time.
[Ticking sound]
Dumbledore: Three turns should do it, I think. Good luck.
Ron: What the…?
[Bell dings]
[Whooshing sound]
Robotic voice: Episode 240.
Micah: Isn’t it just like a security check?
Andrew: Yeah, and it’s sort of… it’s you. I mean, the wand chooses the wizard. It’s a very important aspect of yourself, sort of like on a driver’s license in the real world where you have your weight, your eye color. This is just another one of those things, I think, that they take into consideration when checking you in. It’s just a part of you.
Eric: So that’s interesting. And that wizard’s name is Eric, by the way.
[Andrew and Eric laugh]
Andrew: Excellent.
Eric: Which is cool. Except he’s kind of a jerk.
[Bell dings]
[Whooshing sound]
Robotic voice: Episode 440.
Andrew: And it was making me wonder what tech in 2019 would fascinate Arthur Weasley. Not AirPods, because they already have wireless sound, I think, so that’s not really a big deal. Not virtual reality, because they have ghosts and portraits, so they’re kind of familiar with that.
Laura: I think the scooters, like the Bird scooters and the Lime scooters.
Andrew: Yeah, that’d be pretty cool.
Laura: He’d be like, “Wow, Muggles have found a way to not have broomsticks, but have a good substitute for them.”
Andrew: “Can they fly?”
[Eric laughs]
Laura: They could be enchanted to fly.
[Whooshing sound]
[Ticking sound]
Dumbledore: Mysterious thing, time.
[Bell dings]
Andrew: Mysterious thing, time, Dumbledore. I sound less drunk as time goes on, so that’s nice.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: We all have a teenage voice. It’s interesting to listen back to.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: Yep.
Micah: Less nasal decongestant as well. I think maybe the desert has dried you out of it.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: You sound a lot better, Andrew.
Eric: Oh, man.
Andrew: It’s the air, sure.
Micah: I sounded the same way.
Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion
Micah: Well, many of us have just spent the day working, but unfortunately, it’s now time for us to get to work, and we’re going to be headed there with Arthur. And just to set the scene a little bit here, Harry wakes up; it is the morning of his trial at the Ministry. He does get a nice send-off party from a few folks at the breakfast table in Grimmauld Place. But what I really want to talk about in the first half of this discussion is Arthur Weasley, and it might be harsh, but his ineptitude.
[Eric laughs]
Laura: Oh, man.
Micah: Because throughout much of this experience that we have with Harry and Arthur, Mr. Weasley seems lost, and I want to know why was this whole situation not scouted in advance? This is an important date for Harry. This is an important moment for Harry. Certainly Arthur and the rest of the Order know the gravity of the situation, but Arthur is pretty ho-hum about the whole thing, and what’s going on with this guy?
Eric: What surprised me is the route had not been pre-scouted. So Arthur obviously gets to the Ministry every day of his working career…
Micah: Scout the route.
Eric: Yeah, but not through the Muggle way, and so they could have gotten lost if any one thing went wrong. If there’s construction, sometimes your tube station is closed. There doesn’t seem to be a great knowledge of any alternate ways to get around. Arthur says he usually Apparates; we know side-along Apparition likely hasn’t been invented yet as a thing in the book, otherwise they would have gone that way. But you’re right, and why doesn’t Harry have an escort? After it took so many adults to take him from a highly protected vault of Privet Drive to Grimmauld Place, why doesn’t he have the same amount of people taking him to the Ministry? This is important. This is his expulsion from Hogwarts hearing.
Micah: I like that question, though, Eric, because as Arthur is walking Harry to the underground station, it’s said that he has his hand in his pocket, right? He’s basically on guard, looking out to make sure that there’s nothing or nobody that is going to attack them, and you would think there would be some covert witches or wizards that were placed along this route to ensure the safety of Harry in this particular situation.
Andrew: Maybe, but it doesn’t seem like there are, right? Given how nervous Arthur is… and you mentioned his hand in his pocket, and Harry even says he knows he’s holding his wand at the ready. But I think it’s not just the security that has Arthur nervous and on edge. I think he’s nervous about Harry’s trial, so there’s just a couple of reasons for him to be a little worried. In terms of scouting out the location, I wouldn’t be surprised… we have to assume Arthur has been around London here and there over the years; he’s probably somewhat familiar with this route to begin with, so scouting out the route for what? I mean, we’re not talking about the Secret Service here. This is a…
Eric: Just walk it a couple of times.
Micah: I don’t think he’s familiar with it, because he’s coming from Grimmauld Place. It’s not a place that he normally lives.
Andrew and Laura: Yeah.
Laura: I don’t know. I mean, what I will give to Arthur is that they do leave really, really early to make sure they have plenty of time built in, and I think that is probably why the route wasn’t scouted in advance. But Micah, you said something that got me thinking: If we’re wondering why there weren’t wizards stationed along the way to the Ministry for protection, I’m actually kind of surprised that Umbridge isn’t trying to sabotage Harry even further, right? We know they end up changing his appointment time and location. She already sent Dementors to try and attack him on Privet Drive. If they know that Harry is probably going to want to make a good impression by showing up at the Ministry magic-free, that makes him a vulnerable moving target, and it’s kind of surprising that they didn’t try to capitalize on that opportunity.
Eric: It’s interesting.
Micah: Yeah, that’s a really good point. And something else that came to mind – and this is where I thought you were initially going, Laura – was maybe they don’t also want to risk revealing Grimmauld Place or the location of Grimmauld Place. By having so many witches and wizards stationed in that area, you’re drawing a lot more attention to it.
Laura: True, true. But also, aren’t they drawing attention by Harry and Arthur just walking out the front door to go to Harry’s hearing?
[Everyone laughs]
Micah: Yes.
Laura: It’s kind of a “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because they don’t want to draw attention to Grimmauld Place, but they don’t want to use magic to get there. So unfortunately, it just doesn’t seem like there was a great option for them.
Eric: I don’t… yeah, it’s possible also that they’re overreacting. What would have been so bad if they had used Floo Powder to get to the Ministry, as so many of the Ministry employees do?
Andrew: Well, and also I’m just thinking… I don’t know if this came up on the show a few weeks ago. I think we were talking about how CCTV cameras are everywhere; security cameras are everywhere around London. Maybe they were thinking, “Well, there’s eyes around every corner on this street, so if somebody were to try to cause trouble…”
Eric: It breaks the Statute of Secrecy.
Laura: True.
Andrew: Yeah, well, and there would be evidence of people, mystery figures, attacking others in the street, so the enemy doesn’t want to draw attention to themselves.
Laura: I wonder what Arthur would think of mobile transit apps nowadays. I feel like a lot of people in major cities use these. I know when I lived in New York, I had the Metro Transit Authority’s official New York City subway map that would tell you times that trains were coming and really make it easy for you to navigate the system. So given how tickled he is by the broken down ticket machines, I think he would lose his mind if he saw a metro app in 2024.
Eric: I agree.
Micah: Yeah, and I’m glad you actually brought that up, Laura. We can move on from talking about how inept Mr. Weasley is in terms of leading Harry to the Ministry.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: Oh, can we? Thank God.
Micah: But something we have talked about on this show before is that Arthur seems to know very little about pretty standard Muggle practices, and this is in conflict with the job that he supposedly holds. And you mentioned, Laura, the fact that Harry is the one who has to pay the guard for their train tickets. When they’re on the underground, Mr. Weasley is constantly counting down their stops. This goes back to what we were just talking about in terms of there being a lack of preparation. Arthur is overly excited by how the turnstile takes his ticket, and then the first thing he asks when they get out of the subway is, “Where are we?”
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: He’s never come by train before, nor has he used the visitor’s entrance. Why is he the best person to be taking Harry to this trial?
Andrew: Micah, Micah, Micah. Your New Yorker is showing, my guy. Arthur is in act-like-a-Muggle mode, and he’s enjoying the full experience! He doesn’t get to go on the subway too often.
Micah: This is the time for him to be enjoying the experience?
Andrew: Well, he’s got to get something out of it, right?
[Eric and Micah laugh]
Andrew: Besides carting this troubled child around town. That’s no fun.
Eric: “Troubled child.”
[Laura laughs]
Andrew: Just ask the Dursleys. And who among us has not come out from the subway and been like, “Where the hell am I right now?” [laughs]
Eric: Okay, all right, all right.
Andrew: Even you, Micah, must need to get your bearings. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Micah: You gotta scout the route.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: We’re talking about… this is taking place in the mid ’90s. There’s no Siri; there’s no Google Maps.
Andrew: Yeah, I can’t imagine.
Micah: You have to prepare, right? If you have an important date, you have a interview… what people would do back in those days is they would scout the route.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Micah: They would go on the actual route to get from point A to point B, so that… like what Eric was saying earlier, you don’t know what you’re going to encounter along the way. Could be delays. There could be traffic. I’m serious, though. It’s such a lack of preparation.
Laura: No, I’m laughing at myself, Micah, because even in recent history, I have been known to physically scout the route.
Micah: Yeah!
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: If I was going somewhere new that maybe I wasn’t super familiar with, I knew I was going to be on a time crunch for, I wanted to gauge traffic, I wanted to gauge parking… so I’ve legitimately done that where the day before I had to go somewhere, I would get in my car and be like, “Let me just practice the drive.”
Eric: And you see the place, yeah. When I’m about to scoot, I look up and kind of plan out in advance what the nearest bike lanes are so that I know my route.
Andrew: Have you scooted the route? Have you scouted the route by scooting the route?
[Laura laughs]
Eric: No, I don’t scoot… it costs money per minute, so I don’t really…
Andrew: That’s a good point. I can’t believe how often this phrase “Scout the route” has been coming up on this episode, by the way.
Micah: It’s the title of the episode.
[Laura and Micah laugh]
Laura: Yeah, it’s the title.
Andrew: I updated our doc.
Eric: As Laura said, the best thing that can be said about Arthur Weasley in this chapter is that he gets Harry to the Ministry without dying, [laughs] and early enough in the morning. But he also knows the number to dial on the Muggle entrance, so okay. He did his homework.
Micah: Yeah, he had… I think, Andrew, your point about coming out of the subway station and getting your bearings is well taken, but there’s a lot of other problems here along the way for Arthur I’m-a-doofus Weasley, and…
Andrew: Oh my goodness.
Laura: [laughs] Shots fired.
Eric: I did not anticipate this.
Micah: I mean, can you blame Percy?
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: Dang.
Andrew: Well, to the point of Arthur being excited about his surroundings… so I imagine he gets around town from time to time, but then it’s like, I don’t know, you return to a place that you love, and you’re equally excited as you… let’s say Disneyland. You’ve been to Disneyland before, but maybe on your 20th time, you’re as excited about it as you were the first time. It’s just… this is his passion. Muggle things are his passion.
Laura: I feel like Arthur kind of romanticizes Muggle life in the way that a lot of people today romanticize the idea of a simpler life, like homesteading and things like that.
Eric: Kind of a condescending way of like, “Oh, they’re so simple,” but that… not intentionally condescending, but you can’t help but be a little biased.
Laura: Yeah, almost like, “Look at how brilliant and ingenious they are working around all of life’s inconveniences without magic.”
Eric: Yeah. But I mean, okay, so obviously, every bit of Arthur Weasley in this chapter is meant for comedy. It’s funny. It’s funny to watch him not know things. But to Micah’s point about his job, you’re in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office; perhaps the best, most qualified candidate for that role – now I’m about to say he should lose his job – but a Muggle-born person who had no option but to grow up around Muggle things, which would give you that innate knowledge about what the Muggle things are, might actually be better suited than somebody like Arthur, who presumably never saw a Muggle before he got this job, and is not so familiar with ticket machines… or money! The money thing. He can’t count money? You’ve got to learn how to do that if you’re working in London.
Micah: Yeah, if nothing else, if you want to take the Arthur bashing out of this, I think it does put a lot of additional stress on Harry at a time where he doesn’t need more stress.
Eric: Maybe it’s a welcome distraction to Harry.
Micah: You could look at it that way, but I do think he’s getting tasked with things in this moment that he doesn’t need to be bothered with.
Eric: That’s fair.
Andrew: No, that’s true. He’s got enough on his mind. All right, you got me. Are you happy?
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Micah: So welcome to the Ministry of Magic, everybody. I don’t have the proper voice as they hear on their way down, but…
Eric: Oh, I should have gotten the lady that does the Time-Turner segment to say it.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: I was going to say.
Micah: Do you think she’s busy tonight? Can she join us?
Eric: We’ll add it in post.
Micah: One thing that jumped out at me was, as with other first time experiences in the wizarding world, Harry seems really taken by entering the Ministry of Magic.
Andrew: Yeah. Well, I think what’s interesting here – and we see this from time to time in the Harry Potter series – it’s these transitions from something rundown, decrepit, in a corner, hidden away… it looks old; nobody would ever touch it, like a Portkey in Goblet of Fire, the old boot. You go from this empty rundown street, and Harry is like, “Why are we going in this phone booth? This doesn’t make sense.” You go from that to this gorgeous, glossy, beautiful, huge atrium that is the entrance of the Ministry of Magic. So I really like how these transitions are used across the wizarding world, because these rundown areas, Muggles don’t want to touch, right? Because they’re gross, ew. Who wants to hang out over there? So it’s like a security layer for the wizards.
Laura: Yeah, it’s hidden in plain sight.
Eric: I wonder if… obviously this book is set in 1995. I wonder if they’ve changed the Muggle entrance as pay phones are very hard to find, especially public pay phones now. I wonder what it would be these days.
Andrew: [laughs] That’s a fun question. Because yeah, you’re right. Pay phones are on the way out.
Eric: There’s one or two places – I think maybe a police station or something – you go in and all of a… in the corner there’d be this beat up… maybe the receiver is missing, but it would still be mounted.
Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Maybe today’s equivalent would be a nasty bathroom stall in a restaurant. Nobody wants to go into that bathroom stall because there’s some girl screaming in there. Moaning Myrtle, not something else.
Eric: They should change it to maybe a police box from the ’50s or ’60s or something, because those things are iconic. Timeless.
Micah: I like that you brought that up, Andrew, because we’re also going to experience the same thing with St. Mungo’s a couple chapters from now.
Eric: Oh yeah, a dilapidated department storefront or something like that.
Andrew: Yeah, yeah.
Micah: Well, one thing that Harry seems extremely taken with upon arriving at the Ministry is the Fountain of Magical Brethren. I’m wondering, Eric, would you mind reading the quote?
Eric: Not at all.
“Halfway down the hall was a fountain. A group of golden statues, larger than life-size, stood in the middle of a circular pool. Tallest of them all was a noble-looking wizard with his wand pointing straight up in the air. Grouped around him were a beautiful witch, a centaur, a goblin, and a house-elf. The last three were looking adoringly up at the witch and wizard.”
Micah: So there’s definitely a clear indication here of how witches and wizards view the world as a whole, but as we’ll see in this book and beyond, certainly not the way the larger wizarding community views witches and wizards, the fact that all of these other creatures are looking up adoringly at the wizard and the witch. Now, are we surprised that Harry doesn’t question the implications of the fountain?
Laura: No. I don’t think Harry is there yet.
Andrew: Me neither.
Micah: Distracted?
Eric: I mean, isn’t it…? Hermione points it out later in the book, and she’s very, very intuiting. She’s very in tune with cultural sensitivities.
Laura: Yeah, I mean, I know she definitely explains it in Deathly Hallows, but I don’t remember…
Eric: Somebody at some point is like, “You know, Harry, that’s BS.” [laughs]
Laura: I think it was Dumbledore, actually.
Eric: Oh, God.
Laura: I think it was Dumbledore who said, “That fountain was a lie.”
Eric: Well, and I wonder how many adults that commute there don’t think anything of the fountain, just like Harry isn’t, or how many of them are emboldened by it. “Oh, everybody loves us. Heck yeah.” And then how many other adult wizards are like, “Actually, that’s kind of problematic. We should take it down.”
Andrew: I want to know what Newt thinks about it, too.
Eric: Oooh.
Laura: I mean, think about… I’m thinking about, there’s a monument, very large, in Columbus Circle in DC of Christopher Columbus with two native people knelt next to him. That is a real-life representation of what this fountain does in this story.
Eric: Wow.
Laura: And people walk by it every day, and they’ve got other stuff on their minds so they don’t take much time, probably, to think about it, although I think probably the social awareness is a lot higher now than it used to be.
Eric: I’ll play devil’s advocate. Maybe the centaur isn’t gazing up adoringly at the witch or wizard; he’s gazing up at Mars.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Laura: Oh yeah, and he’s like, “Oh, you’re all going to die soon.”
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Yeah, there’s a smile on his face because he knows this torture is going to be over soon.
Andrew: Well, and I think in terms of Harry recognizing the meaning behind this statue, I do think, as was said a couple minutes ago, he is just distracted. I mean, this place is overwhelming for your first time.
Eric: It’s cool.
Andrew: It’s a huge place with people running around everywhere.
Micah: And let’s not forget why he’s there; he has bigger things on his mind than this fountain, which… it is important that it is really the centerpiece to the Ministry, just given some of the characters we’ve met so far, like Cornelius Fudge; I think it speaks volumes about him as well. But there is a bit of a foreshadow alert here, because the fountain and its creatures will play a major role in the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort at the end of this book.
Eric: Ooh!
Micah: And I wanted to ask one final question on the fountain: Do we think that it’s at all different from the “Magic is Might” one that we see in Deathly Hallows? Is it two sides of the same coin?
Laura: Yeah, one of them is a lie and the other is a bold-faced admission.
Eric: Wow.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: Boom.
Eric: I’m going to be sick. I mean, one is there for entertainment or maybe a feel-good nature, and the other is there to inflict fear. So I’d say they couldn’t be more opposite.
Micah: But the same point.
Eric: Yeah, what Laura said is accurate.
Micah: Yeah. Well, one of the great things about the Ministry is that it delivers on being very bureaucratic and very corporate, and I might get some anxiety going through and reading this list, but I’m going to try and make my way through it.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: You can do it, Micah.
Micah: Harry gets a security badge stating the purpose of his visit. Many of the witches and wizards that Harry encounters were wearing “glum, early-morning looks,” which I dub the classic “Why the bleep am I here? Another day of this BS” look.
[Everyone laughs]
Micah: We’ve all been there.
Andrew: Don’t worry, Micah. It’s almost Friday. Don’t worry.
Micah: Eric, the security guard, is noted to be “a badly shaven wizard” reading the Daily Prophet. I mean, just give him a donut and…
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Yeah, yeah, just get through the day. I was surprised how he just makes no impression, really, on Harry. He attempts to look at his scar and is whisked away quickly.
Micah: Harry needs to present his wand for inspection; it’s very similar to going through security at most office places. The elevator stops at every. Single. Floor.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Now I can tell that you work above the ground floor in an office building, don’t you, Micah? Because there’s always that time…
Micah: I do. And the elevators have been not the best the last couple of months. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, you think you’re going to get up to your office on 7 or 10 or 11…
Micah: 18.
Eric: … but then somebody pushes 3; somebody who gets on at 4 pushes 6. You’re like, “Son of a…”
Micah: There are stairs.
Andrew: Now, Micah, do you have to present your wand for inspection every day you go into the office? Or was that a one-and-done type thing?
Micah: I have to swipe my security badge.
Andrew: Okay, that’s your wand.
Micah: That’s my wand, yeah. Oh, we also have face ID, so that…
Andrew: Oh, really? Wow.
Eric: Whoa!
Andrew: Very high-tech. Arthur would love that.
Eric: This is like Minority Report or something, damn.
Micah: There are interdepartmental memos, as well as enchanted windows to make sure people get that…
Eric: Vitamin D!
Micah: Vitamin D.
Laura: Are they actually getting that, though?
Micah: I don’t know. [laughs]
Eric: You have to be able to…
Laura: Because artificial light, I don’t think it…
Micah: Counts?
Andrew: But magic artificial light?
Laura: Yeah, I guess.
Eric: I’m going to say 100% it’s absolutely real, because Lumos Solem is solar; it’s the sunlight spell. Lumos is more artificial, but Lumos Solem is actual sunlight.
Laura: Ahh, okay.
Eric: Yeah, because there would be no point this far underground to doing even fake windows if they didn’t offer exactly what the sun offers, I think; like mental reprieve, feeling of calmness. I’m inclined to think they work 100% as a real window would.
Micah: Well, yeah, because we learn that the weather can change depending on how the custodial staff feel about things.
Eric: [laughs] So bureaucratic. So perfect.
Micah: Even the Aurors have cubicles, which is just… [laughs] It made me laugh.
Eric: Aww. I mean, what would you imagine for them? A pen?
Andrew: I think Micah is ready to cry right now. This is so triggering for him.
Micah: Not a cubicle. You’re going to put Mad-Eye…? Can you imagine Mad-Eye Moody in a cubicle?
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Eric: Okay, well…
Andrew: What do you think he prefers, the cubicle or being stuck in a briefcase for an entire school year? [laughs]
Laura: True.
Eric: You know what? Maybe it wasn’t so bad.
Andrew: Yeah, peace and quiet.
Eric: Maybe being in that trunk wasn’t so bad because he’s used to an even smaller cubicle.
Laura: Micah, what do you think is worse – or what would be worse in this context? The cubicles, or open concept? Which is very popular right now in office settings, where you have no privacy; you don’t have a cubicle. [laughs]
Micah: That’s a good question.
Eric: I’m picturing a police station in a movie that has open… every desk on the floor faces the same way.
Micah: Well, we see it in MACUSA a bit when Newt gets brought in.
Eric: Oh, yeah. But as we’ve seen… we do get a glimpse, I guess, at Kingsley’s either department or cubicle, and the walls are plastered with pinned-up things of Sirius and everything, and so I think the cubicles are functional for giving people that wall space they need to do to conduct their investigation.
Micah: Well, Arthur doesn’t have a cubicle. He has a dingy office smaller than a broom cupboard.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: What I love about this is it’s across from a broom cupboard. They’re turning… they’re going down the corridor and Harry is like, “And then there was a broom cupboard, and across from it, there was a room that was smaller than the broom cupboard.” [laughs] This is hilarious.
Micah: And I think maybe in reading this we can get a sense for maybe why Percy feels the way he does about his father’s job – maybe not his father, but his father’s job – because two desks are crammed inside this office; there’s no room to move around, very little wall space, and him and his coworker, Perkins, don’t even have a window. He said he was told that they didn’t feel like they needed it, so it actually further devalues Arthur and his work.
Eric: 100%.
Andrew: So you can see why Arthur was so excited for this field trip type of day where he gets to be Harry’s chaperon into the Ministry of Magic. It’s a refreshing twist on his day-to-day life.
Eric: Well, the placement of Arthur’s office… just like the Statue of Magical Brethren says a lot about the Ministry of Magic, where it’s housed, the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, for a government that has a huge Statute of Secrecy that’s basically the prime directive of the wizarding world, to have the department in charge of making sure one of the ways in which that statute is broken, the misusing tea pots and toilets and all sorts of… garbage bins, everything… giving them an office that’s this, that’s smaller than a broom cupboard, shows what they think of Muggles, shows how important it is that… because it’s not just about… I mean, to talk about office real estate in a world where you can make something bigger than it is on the inside than it needs to be, his office could be a league long. There’s no way he can stay organized in that small place. And so that shows that corporate doesn’t value what he does at all.
Micah: Right.
Eric: I think this actually shows that Percy is kind of right, that you could certainly have a little bit more ambition or pride for yourself.
Laura: Yeah. I think this is just another real life parallel. Companies, governments, what have you, tend to spend the least money on the things that they value the least.
Micah: Well, and I think the author is certainly drawing upon her own experiences here; I believe for a period of time she said she worked for Amnesty International. I think she actually describes some of the offices that she worked in, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is reflective of that experience.
Laura: And it makes sense, because I mean, Amnesty International, it’s a not for profit, so I wouldn’t expect them to have large, modern offices, and the same with governmental institutions.
Micah: Sure. Well…
Andrew: Micah, I need you to take a break right now, because I can tell this discussion has made you feel really down. It’s too triggering for you.
Micah: [laughs] But you know what? We’re getting to Molly’s meatballs, so…
Andrew: Mmm, I can almost smell them.
Micah: Well, we encounter some familiar faces at the Ministry, but we can’t act like we actually know who some of these people are, and I wanted to bring this up because Arthur and Kingsley, they pretend not to know each other in a social context; they behave very businesslike. And I think us as readers – and maybe even Harry in this moment, too, because I think Arthur steps on Harry’s foot – we begin to understand just how sensitive and precarious things are for the Order members out here in the real world.
Andrew: It’s pretty cool. It’s a pretty cool nod to the situation.
Laura and Micah: Yeah.
Laura: And I mean, we get to see that Kingsley is quite literally leading the Ministry and Aurors in the wrong direction when it comes to the investigation into the whereabouts of Sirius. And we also see Kingsley kind of taking on this role with Arthur, where he’s really talking down to him to really sell the act to any peers that might be walking by, but then they’re speaking in hushed tones on the side, like, “Come over for dinner after this.”
Eric: I love it.
Micah: “Molly is making meatballs.”
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Micah: Such a great line. I wish it was in the… was it in the movies?
Eric: No.
Laura: I don’t think so, no.
Micah: What a miss. We gotta Max that. [laughs]
Andrew: Max that. Max those meatballs.
[Andrew and Eric laugh]
Laura: But to be honest, that’s another piece of… Arthur should have prepped for this. He should have let Harry know, “Hey, if you see anyone from the Order that you know at the Ministry, you don’t know them.”
Eric: Oh my God.
Micah: Exactly. That’s a great call.
Eric: And he should have said that while they were on the tube, well outside the…
Micah: He was too busy counting the stops.
Andrew: [laughs] Hey, I like those signs too. I think they’re pretty cool.
Micah: Yeah, I know you love trains. Choo-choo.
Andrew: Choo-choo.
Micah: All right, so we wrap this chapter up with the hearing for Harry being moved, and thank God for Perkins showing up and telling Harry and Arthur that the hearing time and location have been moved. Now, I think we were told earlier on in this chapter that this was supposed to be a very straightforward meeting in Amelia Bones’s office. Much to-do about nothing. “She’s a very nice woman; just don’t act out, Harry, and you’ll be fine.” And where this ends up is a much, much different location and situation for Harry to have to go in, and he’s got to go it alone, which I don’t think was ever probably communicated to him. He’s expecting Arthur to be there. I mean, [laughs] Arthur’s done his best job to get him here; at this point, the least he could do is pull up a chair inside this room and sit down and support Harry. But that’s not going to happen.
Laura: Yeah, it’s kind of crazy that he can’t have some kind of guardian in the room.
Micah: Especially… he’s underage.
Laura: Yeah, he’s not of age.
Eric: Well, they didn’t even want his… what would you call it? His lawyer present. Dumbledore. They didn’t want Harry to have legal representation. This is like interviewing somebody without their lawyer present, is essentially what the Ministry did to Harry. They wanted him alone. They wanted him alone, scared, worried, defenseless… that’s why they changed…
Andrew: And mentally thrown off his game.
Eric: Yes.
Andrew: If they changed the location on me at the last minute and I had been preparing for this for any certain amount of time, I would be thrown off. It’s like when you arrive late to an appointment, or let’s say you arrive late to doing this podcast. It just throws you off. After you’ve had a crazy day, you need time to mentally reset yourself before the thing begins, and if they’re changing the time and place right beforehand, that doesn’t give you that reset period that you were hoping for.
Eric: Yeah, these charges are bogus, and it is known by a certain group of these people that are making these decisions, so instead, their game is to trip Harry up.
Micah: Right.
Eric: Their goal overall is to discredit him; that’s what Umbridge’s plan was the whole time as well, to assist the Ministry in that, and this is just another way in which they’re doing it. But it’s insidious. It’s so bad.
Micah: Yeah, it makes it very clear that the Ministry is out to get him. I was wondering why the memo wasn’t sent directly to Harry himself. Why does Perkins have this memo? I guess what it tells me, number one, is they know that Harry is in the building; they know that Harry is with Arthur, but it’s still not clear to me why Harry is not receiving this communication. Let’s presume Arthur is not even part of the equation. There’s nobody there to greet Harry upon his arrival to the Ministry. How would Harry even know where to go? Without Arthur, there’s no way Harry gets to the courtroom.
Laura: It’s deliberate.
Andrew: Yeah, and maybe they know Arthur is the designated chaperon.
Eric: Well past a certain point… in government buildings you do need an escort past a certain point, or you’re signed in as a visitor, and then it’s like, “Who are you here to see?” And it’s like, that’s your authorization. But Arthur wasn’t even given that notice, so to your point, legally, Harry should have been notified, yeah.
Odds & Ends
Micah: All right, anything else on this very fun chapter?
Andrew: Let’s look at some odds and ends. Sirius’s advice to Harry before going to the hearing was “Don’t lose your temper,” which I found very funny…
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Eric: It’s good advice.
Andrew: … from somebody who loses his temper, yeah.
Micah: Yeah. We also got our first mention of Rufus Scrimgeour. His name was dropped earlier in this chapter because it’s stated that he was suspicious of both Tonks and Kingsley. And let’s keep in mind at this point he is the Head of the Auror Office, so he is their boss, so it goes to the point that was made earlier that Kingsley and Arthur really do need to keep up the charade, because if Scrimgeour overhears, it could be trouble. He’s already suspicious of what’s going on. I also believe we get our first introduction to the Quibbler.
Eric: Yeah!
Micah: Kingsley passes along an article to Arthur that he says Sirius will likely find most interesting. Is this the Stubby Boardman article?
Laura: Probably.
Eric: Might be.
Micah: I was trying to remember which one it was off the top of my head, and that’s the only notable one that I would think Sirius would find interesting. Harry and Arthur, on their way down to the courtrooms, encounter Broderick Bode, who we later learn is an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries, and he will meet his untimely demise before the end of Order of the Phoenix, so…
Eric: Aw. It does not bode well.
[Laura laughs]
Micah: It does not bode well.
Laura: I see what you did there.
Micah: But he seemed pretty sharp. He recognized Harry, but doesn’t make a big deal about it. And then we touched on this a little bit earlier, but in order to gain access to the visitor’s entrance at the Ministry of Magic, you need to dial 62442, which spells “MAGIC.”
Andrew: First of all, shout-out to our old phone number, which we recently had to say goodbye to, which is super sad. But what I found so cool about this 62442 line in the book is that Arthur does not say, “Oh, that translates to magic,” and Harry doesn’t realize it either. I seem to have a vague recollection that I learned about this through MuggleNet.com or something, one of those little hidden Easter eggs, and I thought it was so cool that it wasn’t explained in the book. You just had to figure it out for yourself, and that’s one of those little bits of additional magic you get through reading the books.
Eric: Because even in 2003 when this book was published, alphanumeric… well, rotary telephones were near gone – the only one that I knew of was at my grandmother’s house – and keypads didn’t always have them, or you’re not looking, or the use of letters in phones didn’t really happen, so it’s just the most fun Easter egg.
Micah: I want to say, too, that if you dialed that on the phone on the old JKRowling.com, it did reveal something. I’m forgetting exactly what it was.
Andrew: That’s right.
Laura: Oh, yeah, that’s right. It did.
Eric: Played a sound.
Andrew: It may have been one of the secrets at the time to unlock a different room. But this also reminds me, I think if you dial 62442 at Wizarding World Orlando in front of Diagon Alley on the London street, I think it plays something through the phone.
Eric: Yes, I think it does too.
Micah: Oooh.
Andrew: Yeah, little bits of magic.
Please Translate for the Dumb Americans
Andrew: And I have a new segment for us today.
Eric: Ooh.
[Micah laughs]
Andrew: It’s called Please Translate for the Dumb Americans. And I have a sound effect; are you ready?
Laura: Yes.
[“Duhhh” sound effect plays]
[Laura laughs]
Micah: Very good.
Eric: Wow.
Andrew: So Mrs. Weasley offers kippers to Harry for breakfast, amongst other items that I did recognize, but I didn’t know what kippers were. These aren’t a thing here in America.
Eric: What are they? I’ve never heard of them before. Never had them. Certainly not a thing I’ve tried.
Andrew: Kippers are herring fish that have been split, gutted, salted, and then smoked.
Eric: Yum!
Andrew: So it’s seafood for breakfast. I’m not a seafood person, so I’d be saying, “No.” I’d say, “Molly, give me some of those meatballs.”
Eric: I want that all the time.
[Micah laughs]
Andrew: Meatballs or kippers?
Eric: Well, both.
Andrew: [laughs] Meatball kippers.
Eric: I only know of kippers through a Supertramp song.
Andrew: Oh, okay. Micah, Laura, did you know the phrase kippers? The word kippers?
Laura: Yes.
Andrew: Oh.
Laura: I did. I watched as a child – which in retrospect, I’m like, “I don’t know; maybe I was too young for this” – I watched Fawlty Towers as a child, which is a really, really great Britcom, and there was an episode that had something to do with kippers in it, and that’s the only reason I knew. But no hate; they don’t look super appetizing.
Andrew: But…
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Laura: They don’t look super appetizing to me, but that doesn’t mean that other people shouldn’t enjoy them.
Micah: I had heard of them before, but I didn’t know what they were, so thank you for educating me, Andrew. Who knows? It could come in handy on Jeopardy.
Andrew: Yeah, there you go. We learn something new every day.
Superlative of the Week
Micah: All right, so now we’re going to have a little bit of fun with the different departments that get mentioned as Harry and Arthur are riding that very long elevator ride to Arthur’s office. First we’re going to have some fun, and then our patrons are going to have some fun. So I thought we could have some fun by figuring out what are the best and worst departments for Take Your Kid to Work Day.
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: So this was difficult for me to decide, because it is still a workplace environment. They’re all just kind of “Bleh” because you’re in an office space.
[Micah laughs]
Andrew: But best for me – Micah, you mentioned I love trains earlier…
Micah: Choo-choo.
Andrew: … I think the best would be level six, the Department of Magical Transport, and this incorporates the Floo Network, the Broom Regulatory Control, the Portkey Office, and the Apparition Test Center. Presumably they keep an eye on the Hogwarts Express there as well, so that would be the best for me. And then the worst, I would say Law Enforcement, level two. Just compared to the others, I just think it would be the most boring.
Eric: I really like, just for the record, Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, but I probably would never want to visit that because it seems like I would be traumatized by seeing it. So instead, I’m going to say Take Your Kid to Work Day for the Floo Network Authority on level six, or the Portkey Office, because magical transport is super fun. And I assume you can’t get your kid into the Department of Mysteries, so that’s a no go, but there’s a lot there that can kill you in general.
Micah: “Tommy, stay away from the veil.”
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Laura: This is the wizarding world we’re talking about, though. They don’t…
Eric: “Tommy, lean into the veil. Do you hear anything?”
Laura: Everything is a security nightmare.
Micah: “Grandpa’s talking to me.” Never mind.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: Wow.
Andrew: I’m wearing my security consultant hat right now, and yes, I declare that that area is off-limits to the children for the reasons just stated.
Laura: Nope.
Eric: There you go.
Micah: What about you, Laura?
Laura: Well, I think the best place would be the Department of Mysteries, but that’s just because I like weird, creepy stuff like that, so I think I would have been delighted as a child to go here. The worst: I said Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. Just sounds traumatic, so nah.
Micah: Yeah. For me, I thought a fun one would be Department of Magical Games and Sports.
Eric: Yep, say hi to Ludo.
Micah: Yeah. Well, Ludo and his friends got a huge shout-out in the next segment we’re going to do. But the worst – I’m kind of in agreement with you, Andrew – International Magical Office of Law. I feel like that’s super boring; the kid would probably be asleep the whole time. No shade to the lawyers who listen to our show; we know we have quite a few.
Eric: You know your office is boring.
Laura: Yeah, you’d better be careful, Micah. They’re lawyers.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Micah: Oh, it’s not like we’re doing anything illegal. Yet.
[Laura laughs]
Lynx Line
Micah: All right, I mentioned our patrons, and we did ask over on our Lynx Line – which is a great benefit at the Slug Club level – since we’re in the holiday season, which department at the Ministry of Magic do you think would throw the best holiday party?
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Micah: And we got some really fun answers.
Andrew: Michael W. said,
“The party on level seven is going to be WILD. I’m picturing some of those ludicrous patents combined with complicated drinking games and sports.”
Level seven being the Magical Games and Sports Department.
Micah: Well, and it’s level seven.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: There would be bangs and loud noises, and you’d never know… somebody would say, “Catch,” and you’d have to turn around and hopefully not die. Franzi says,
“The Department of Magical Games and Sports! Ludo Bagman would throw one hell of a party, with a couple of betting games in which he probably had a hand to win most of them.”
Oh, yeah.
Micah: Leah agrees with Michael.
“Gotta be level seven – Quidditch League jocks mixed with a department that named themselves ‘Ludicrous,’ plus the Gobstones Club members – it’s the geeks who party hardest!”
[Eric laughs]
Laura: That is true. I can attest to that.
Andrew: Don’t we know it?
Laura: [laughs] Jennifer says level three, which, hot take, because that’s the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. Jennifer says,
“If you get way messed up, the Healers are going to be able to fix you! Plus those Healers probably throw some swanky parties.”
That’s true.
Andrew: Rachel S. said,
“It sort of depends on your idea of a great party. I think Department of Mysteries would go to an escape room, which would be totally awesome. Department of Game/Sports would probably have the biggest party atmosphere with major athletes, great music, and alcohol. I’m getting Olympic Village vibes. Can you imagine the gifts that would get given at a Ministry-wide Secret Santa?”
Eric: Ooh.
Andrew: Good points.
Eric: That’s good. It’s all about the fun you can have at work. Amy says,
“I always pictured the Department of Magical Games and Sports to be full of former frat bros who can throw a killer party (and maybe not do much else.) That’s at least the vibe I got from Ludo Bagman, so I assumed his colleagues are similar. As others have said, they have access to famous athletes to add prestige to the invite list, and I’m sure they can keep a party going strong for hours.”
Micah: Miranda says the Department of Magical Games and Sports; they’re getting a lot of votes here.
“They probably held onto a lot of money from hosting the Quidditch World Cup, and would be able to get all the international Quidditch celebrities. I could see it being very VIP, like the Met Gala.”
Laura: Yeah. Shannon says,
“I say level four – you could get magical creatures from all over the world, plus ghosts! The guest possibilities are endless. And I think the goblins would be fun for party games – they’d probably win them all and take all your money, but they’d like being included, even if they wouldn’t admit to it. It would be an outdoor barbecue potluck type party to accommodate everyone. Mermaids could provide musical entertainment; fairies would provide pretty lighting when it gets dark. Leprechauns would put on a fireworks show to end the evening – just don’t try to pay off the goblins with the fake gold!”
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: I love that. Very creative.
Andrew: Yeah. Zachary B said,
“Level five. The Department of International Magical Cooperation sticks out the most to me. Being raised in a German/Irish Catholic and Jewish household, the holidays have been full of sweets and traditional foods. To me, the holidays have been about food and fellowship, and what better way to celebrate than with our friends from other cultures? It would be great to see how our wizarding people from across the world celebrate, what dishes, drinks/potions, gifts, and dancing or activities they do. My wife is Puerto Rican, and the way her family does the holiday season is different from the way mine does, which is something I love. We could all do with being a little more culturally knowledgeable; I believe it would be the same for the wizarding world. Instead of drinking mulled wine or eggnog, maybe a witch or wizard could bring Coquito to festivities.”
I love that answer! That’s excellent.
Micah: That’s a great answer.
Eric: That’s really good stuff.
Laura: Very on point, Zachary.
Eric: Yeah, International Magical Cooperation sounds like a good vibe. And Jenn wrote Department of Magical Games and Sports! Man, we should have a bell or something that we ring.
“I love games, and I’d love to see what other wizarding games are out there, besides the few we get to see in the books.”
Oh, I love that.
Micah: And finally to bring us home, Danielle says,
“The Portkey Office. They could host the party literally ANYWHERE. They could invite as many folks as they wanted, as long as all the Portkeys lead to a big enough venue. Alternatively, they could set up a handful of party event spaces and host a ‘progressive dinner’ where you have one course in each location, they’d grab a new Portkey to get to the next stop.”
Andrew: Awesome.
Laura: Or like bar hopping, but Portkey hopping.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: Just an alternative.
Eric: “Let’s see where this one goes.”
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Andrew: Well, thank you, Slug Club patrons who submitted answers. It’s always fun reading all of these. Listeners, if you have any feedback about today’s chapter, you can contact us by emailing or sending a voice memo that is recorded on your phone to MuggleCast@gmail.com.
Quizzitch
Andrew: And now it’s time for the Department of Quizzitch.
[Quizzitch music plays]
Eric: Ooh, I love that. Maybe I’ll get an office.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Last week’s question was: In the Sorcerer’s Stone PC game, what spell do you primarily use to deal with Doxies? And for those who knew this answer, say it aloud with me, “Fliiipendo!”
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: So many good answers. 70% of people said they didn’t look it up! It’s that memorable. That is the spell that you use in that game. Last week’s winners were Buff Daddy; Happy Charmander; I Hart Muggles; Michael W.; My son is also called Bort Voldemort; PS1 Hagrid is the stuff of my nightmares; Skurge!; Spongify, the best made-up spell; SugarDaddyHarry; The Doxy Who Is Kreacher’s Best Friend… aw, that’s kind of sad.
Micah: [laughs] That’s really sad.
Eric: … and “The What the Hype?! Theme Song Is a Banger.”
Micah: It is.
Laura: Yeah, it is!
Andrew: Aw, thank you.
Eric: Yeah, it is.
Andrew: Subscribe to the What the Hype?! feed.
Eric: Roll it! No.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: Here is next week’s Quizzitch question: What is Amelia Bones’s middle name? Got a random book question pertaining to the next chapter.
Micah: Nice.
Eric: Is Quizzitch back? Is it changing? Is it no longer world events? I don’t know; we’ll see. Submit your Quizzitch answers to us using the Quizzitch form on MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or on the main site, click on the main nav at the top where it says “Quizzitch.”
Micah: I’m just envisioning Kreacher walking around Grimmauld Place with one of those petrified Doxies, talking to it now. I’m not going to be able to get that out of my head.
Laura: Aww.
Eric: Yeah. Maybe he pets it with his fingertip. It’s like Newt and the Bowtruckle.
Micah: He calls it Regulus.
Andrew: Aww.
Laura: Oof!
Eric: That just got extra sad.
Andrew: Speaking of Quizzitch, we have a new Quizzitch Live in the works just before the end of the year, so stay tuned for that. It should be a lot of fun. We were brainstorming some categories the other day. Stay tuned for more details; you can play Quizzitch Live with MuggleCast and your fellow Harry Potter friends around the world. This show is brought to you by Muggles like you; listener support is the only reason we have been able to podcast for 19 years. There are three great ways to help us out: Apple Podcasts subscribers can sign up for MuggleCast Gold, and that gets you instant access to ad-free and early releases of MuggleCast, plus two bonus MuggleCast installments every month. For even more benefits, pledge at Patreon.com/MuggleCast, and you get all the benefits of Gold, plus livestreams, yearly stickers, Lynx Line participation, a physical gift, and a video message from one of the four of us made just for you, amongst other perks. And with the holidays upon us, treat yourself or a Harry Potter-loving friend or family member to one of the following: MuggleCastMerch.com has great official MuggleCast merch, including glassware, hats, and shirts; Patreon.com/MuggleCast/gift is where you can gift a Patreon membership for instant access to the above benefits; and MuggleMillennial.etsy.com is where you can find our remaining inventory from years past, including the super cozy MuggleCast beanie and socks. Also check out our other weekly podcasts, What the Hype?! and Millennial, for more pop culture and real world talk from the four of us. And that does it for this week’s episode of the show. Thanks, everybody, for listening. I’m Andrew.
Eric: I’m Eric.
Micah: I’m Micah.
Laura: And I’m Laura.
Andrew: Time to eat some kippers and meatballs. Bye, everybody.
[Eric laughs]
Laura: Mmm.
Micah: Bye.