Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #692, New Quill Who Dis? (OOTP Chapter 14, Percy and Padfoot)
Show Intro
[Show music plays]
Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the Wizarding World fandom, including the books and forthcoming TV show. I’m Andrew.
Eric Scull: I’m Eric.
Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.
Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.
Andrew: And this week, we’re taking deep breaths because we’re discussing Order of the Phoenix Chapter 14, “Percy and Padfoot.” But before we get into that chapter, a couple of important reminders: As we continue to analyze the books and prepare to cover the Harry Potter TV show, we could really use your support at Patreon.com/MuggleCast. Your financial support allows us to focus more time on the show, spend more time in the wizarding world, and less time in the boring Muggle world. And in exchange for your support, we offer you instant access to lots of great benefits, like more MuggleCast. We release two bonus MuggleCast episodes every month on our Patreon, and we have a lot of fun talking about different aspects of the Potter fandom outside of Chapter by Chapter. They’re a nice break, as much as we enjoy talking about each chapter in the Harry Potter series. And don’t miss the latest bonus in which we re-Sorted the Weasley characters. Eric led that discussion, right?
Eric: It was a really good time, based on an email, a Muggle Mail, that we got from Iris.
Andrew: Oh, good. Okay, good to know. Well, we will keep that up then. In fact, while we were doing that bonus MuggleCast, I had an idea: I feel like we should re-Sort characters in the FMK game style, so we got into that a little bit in that bonus. And there will be more re-Sorting to come.
Eric: Very fun.
Andrew: And after you pledge to our Patreon, by the way, you can listen to bonus MuggleCast episodes and ad-free episodes of the show right within your favorite podcast app, so you’ll continue to enjoy MuggleCast as you always have been, but without advertising and with more MuggleCast! I mean, it’s perfect.
Chapter by Chapter: Time-Turner
Andrew: So without further ado, it’s time for Chapter by Chapter. Order of the Phoenix Chapter 14, “Percy and Padfoot” is what we are discussing this week.
Eric: We last spoke about this chapter on Episode 450, which was titled “Weekend at Hogwarts.” It aired on January 21, 2020, right before a big life event for all of us, and here’s that audio clip.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: Hmm, what was that?
Eric: It was a simpler time, Laura!
[Ticking sound]
Dumbledore: Three turns should do it, I think. Good luck.
Ron: What the…?
[Bell dings]
[Whooshing sound]
Robotic voice: Episode 450.
Andrew: If I was at Hogwarts, I would probably start off with, like, “What spells have you learned recently?” Or like, “How’s your wand doing?” Or “How’s your owl?”
Pat: Yeah, especially since Cho is a year older, they are in different classes. They’re in different…
Laura: That’s true.
Pat: Yeah, there’s way more to talk about.
Laura: He could always be like, “Hey, do you see that boney, winged horse down there? Kind of weird.”
[Pat laughs]
Andrew: “Oh, you don’t? Me neither.”
[Laura laughs]
Andrew: “Just testing you.”
[Whooshing sound]
[Ticking sound]
Dumbledore: Mysterious thing, time.
[Bell dings]
Andrew: Laura, you sounded so much younger only five years ago.
Laura: Oh, wow. I don’t know how to take that, or why you’re singling me out. What’s that about?
Andrew: [laughs] I just thought you sounded youngest on the panel there.
Laura: Oh, I see. Well, see, at that point I was not yet saddled with the jaded nature that comes as you get into your mid to late 30s, and stuff has happened since then, as we established.
Andrew: Aww, yeah.
Eric: I think a few of us have been on that journey lately, yeah.
[Laura laughs]
Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion
Eric: Let’s crack into it. And something that I really enjoy from the first part of this chapter is that there are some moments when characters really come together. We’ve really been focused how divided everyone is in this book, even within the Gryffindor House, but it’s not always the case. So there’s some good looking out and general camaraderie, and I just want to shout out Nearly Headless Nick, because Harry is distracted walking out of Gryffindor Tower. He’s got places to be; he’s got things to do. Nearly Headless Nick tells him, “Hey, be careful. Peeves is around the corner, and he’s going to drop this stone bust of Paracelsus on whoever is next.” And Harry is like, “Thanks,” and he takes a shortcut. I’m just like, you know what? Nearly Headless Nick, who does not have to fear death or mortal peril, is nonetheless saving… looking out for other students and preventing them from being injured, or worse, killed.
Andrew: It’s nice to see, but it’s too bad the kindness of the ghosts doesn’t rub off on other students. What we’re really looking for, what we’ve been talking about, is more student-to-student kindness. House-to-House.
Micah: I think in that situation, Nick is actually preventing Harry from getting into trouble, because we know Peeves and his antics, but given what Harry has already gone through up till this point in the year, there’s a high likelihood that he would be blamed for whatever occurs.
Eric: That happens, as we see, yes.
Micah: And I do think, though, it is cool that the Gryffindor House ghost and the Slytherin House ghost have a good enough relationship that Nick can go to the Bloody Baron to take care of Peeves. Speaking of unity, Eric, this is another example.
Eric: Inter-House… yeah, partnership.
Micah: It does exist.
Eric: Even in the afterlife, or maybe only in the afterlife, as it were. Also, knowing the Baron’s full history from Deathly Hallows and knowing the tragic fate, etc., I like that the Baron, I don’t know, occupies his time in the afterlife with hassling Peeves out of being a menace? That’s a real good redemption thing for the Baron.
Micah: Yeah. And I thought it could be fun to do a name origin here for Paracelsus, because who the hell is this guy?
[Laura laughs]
Andrew: Yeah, who the hell is this guy, Micah?
Eric: It’s actually the name of a… what is it? A pallet jack at work with googly eyes on it.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: Oh. Well, that actually sounds far more entertaining than what I was going to say.
Eric: That’s what you were going to say, Micah, right? Former name origins, yeah, yeah… anyway, but who was he historically?
Micah: Historically, he was a pioneer in several aspects of the medical revolution during the Renaissance, emphasizing the value of observation in combination with received wisdom. He is credited as the father of toxicology, and he also had a substantial influence as a prophet, and his prognostications were studied in the 17th century, and Paracelsianism is the early modern medical movement that was inspired by his studies and works. So…
[Name origin sound effect plays]
Andrew: Whoa!
Micah: Where did that come from?
Eric: It came from the universe, Micah. Every time you pay a historic figure some real respect, do them a real solid, that’s the sound that plays.
Micah: And we know these types of names aren’t randomly thrown into the series. They usually have some sort of reasoning behind them. I didn’t dig that deep, but…
Eric: Well, it’s probably pretty ironic to be injured or killed by a bust of this medical medicine man.
Micah: Marvel.
Laura: Yeah. Well, and something… actually, Eric, you kind of picked up on what I was thinking of reading over these notes. Given that he emphasized the value of observation, the importance of observation, and we know that Peeves is waiting to drop the bust on the head of some unsuspecting student, maybe the irony is you’ve got to watch where you’re going, because you never know what Peeves is going to drop on you.
Eric: Oh, man.
Andrew: Oooh.
Laura: Be observant.
Andrew: Hogwarts Legacy spoiled me so much that now every time in these books when I hear about a statue that Harry is walking by, or a bust, I’m seriously going to Google to see if it was also in Hogwarts Legacy, because they carried so much over…
Micah: Was it?
Andrew: Not in this case, no. But they just carried so much over from the books, and it was so fun to see little references to the books in the video game.
Eric: Yeah, and similarly while doing these rereads, I really want Harry to come upon a Demiguise statue…
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: … but no such luck. It swings both ways there.
Andrew: Maybe in Book 8.
[Eric laughs]
Laura: What is the line that’s always said? “Mind now, Demiguise.”
Eric: “Now, now, Demiguise,” or yeah.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: “Now, now, Demiguise,” or something like that. You can only get him at night, though.
Andrew: A Demiguise!
Micah: And in the Discord, Justin is pointing out that he was also an alchemist, so that is not a surprise.
Laura: Aha!
Eric: Ahh. There definitely is a place… there’s probably a special secret chamber at Hogwarts specifically for alchemists.
Laura: He definitely knew Nicolas Flamel.
Eric: Oh, yeah. They were buds.
[Laura laughs]
Eric: So here we go onto the next, and my favorite example of just good looking out on each other. Harry is going to the owlery because his big deal is getting a letter to Sirius. It’s written in code, but he also needs to make haste and not really be observed to be sending the letter. Bumps into Cho, and one thing leads to another; it’s a really nice conversation that they have, we’re going to talk about. But is soon confronted – Micah, to your point – by Filch, who suspects Harry of breaking the rules. And Cho actually, sort of with nothing to gain from it, stands up for Harry and says, “Actually, I saw him send the letter already. He doesn’t have it on him. You don’t need to search him; you don’t need to cause a scene here.” And I just thought that was really nice, especially… there’s your inter House unity, Andrew! There’s a Ravenclaw helping out at Gryffindor!
Andrew: [laughs] Aww.
Eric: You spoke too soon.
Andrew: I did. I apologize. I just got ahead of myself with the notes here.
Eric: You got a-head of yourself? Eh? That bust is, uh, shoulders up.
Andrew: [laughs] No, it is good to see. And to me, I was thinking about how this is a nice early glimpse at what a romantic relationship should be like in general. You have each other’s backs for the hard times. I mean, Cho is standing with Harry here unequivocally, and it’s thrilling for Harry, because not only does he have a crush on her, but it’s somebody… it’s another person on his side. He’s slowly building up this army, if you will, of people who support and believe him.
Eric: Yeah. Is it too soon to be reading into…? We know there’s sort of a short-lived romance between these two characters. Cho is not doing this, defending him to Filch, because she’s romantically into him, but nevertheless, Harry does get that out of this. Harry is just… he’s got this confidence all of a sudden because the girl he has a crush on stood up for him. So is it too soon to ship Cho and Harry in these books? And actually, does anybody ever ship Cho and Harry?
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Or do we all just kind of read those chapters tolerating it? Going, “Ah, this won’t last.”
Laura: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Micah: Well, we don’t know how Cho feels yet, and obviously we know how Harry feels because we’re reading the book through his perspective, but I do get a sense from Cho that she’s kind of pissed that Filch showed up, so I think that’s part of it too. Here they are having this moment together, and probably she’s wanted to talk to Harry for some time. This is not the first time that she’s actively trying… I mean, she happens to run into him here in the owlery, but she’s tried to speak to him at other points in this book, and it just hasn’t worked out. Thanks, Neville and Ron, for… I don’t even know what you want to call it, but…
Eric: It’s a good making the connection there.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: Yeah, so I think part of her certainly doesn’t think that Harry is doing anything wrong, but I think part of her is just angry that this doofus showed up to third wheel the situation.
Andrew: Whoa.
Laura: Yeah, I do love that. I love flipping the perspective here and thinking about how many times has maybe Cho felt the same way that Harry felt when they were trying to interact, and there was some kind of intervention that prevented the conversation from happening? I’m sure she wouldn’t think anything negative about Harry based on the first two attempts to talk to him, but she’s probably like, “Oh my God, that weird kid and his plant, and then Harry’s weird friend gatekeeping about Quidditch, when I definitely am better at it than he is.” You know? I can see her viewing frustration with the incidents, rather than having any kind of negative perspective towards Harry. Harry is obviously self-conscious about it, but… yeah, I love that.
Eric: So with this sort of common enemy that they have in Filch, what really is the end game here? What is this…? Harry saw Mrs. Norris when he was leaving the castle, and he increased his speed because he knows she’s no good. But that’s quite separate altogether from Filch receiving a credible tip that Harry is placing an order for Dungbombs.
Micah: Yeah, it’s definitely suspicious that immediately he has a tail on him and somebody is tracking him down when he’s trying to send out mail. This whole accusation, like you said, Eric, is certainly mysterious in nature, who tipped Filch off in the first place, and it makes me think that Umbridge is up to no good and really making sure that there are as many eyes on Harry no matter where he goes in the castle, no matter what he does. And I think this is something that actually Hermione theorizes a little bit later on in this book, but I don’t know that we ever get confirmation that it was Umbridge.
Eric: What I like about this idea is that she’s deputized Filch in a way that is not, I think, clear in the books. The movie does a good job of showing how Filch very much 100% loves Umbridge right from the get-go, and he’s involved in pretty much all of her shenanigans. But I also think that with Harry, he has a lot less freedom from day one than even he realizes. And so she’s tightening the leash on the whole school, which we’ll see starting the next chapter and onward, but it’s already gone for him. He already has a tail, to your point. He already really can’t go anywhere without facing heavy scrutiny that’s been on him pretty much since the summer, ever since he told the truth about Voldemort being back.
Micah: Yeah, and this chapter is very much about the tightening, like you’re saying, Eric. We see it start to play out here, but even as we go later on into this chapter. I’m thinking of when Sirius shows up in the fireplace, Hermione is shocked that he would risk doing something like this, and that’s something else that will end up being monitored moving forward. So we have all these forms of communication that are really starting to get locked down.
Andrew: I did find it interesting, too, that at the beginning of this chapter – the first or second page – the fireplace is mentioned, but it’s out. So it’s nice symmetry there where it starts out, and at the end it’s on and Sirius is in it.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. And this task, this whole Dungbomb situation, is not just an attempt to put Harry on edge and catch him in the act of something and just make him feel bad, and also maybe get a look at what it was he was sending, which 100% had Umbridge gotten a hold of it, or had Filch gotten a hold of it and would have given it to Umbridge, it would have been a bigger deal. And that can’t be legal, but it was attempted, and attempted with a reasonable degree of certainty of success, so that’s just a shame. But there’s also an ongoing effort to discredit Dumbledore, and in fact, just a sidebar here, because we have other examples of students looking out for other students. But essentially, when the newspaper comes, we hear that Sturgis Podmore was caught trying to break into the Ministry, and there’s a moment where Ron Weasley really shows us what, Andrew? That he’s a smart character?
Andrew: Another example of him being a very smart character, movies!
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: So they read this report in the Prophet, and then Ron suggests that Sturgis Podmore may have been lured to the Department of Mysteries by the government in an effort to discredit Dumbledore and his allies, and Hermione actually says, “Oh, you know what? I actually wouldn’t be at all surprised if that were true,” and it does sort of end up being accurate. It’s a pretty accurate guess.
Eric: I think it takes something to finally say out loud, this level of subterfuge or all these machinations that are going on behind the scenes, for Hermione to look up and be like, “Actually, this tracks for the world we live in.”
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: A kind of world where the government itself would be framing its citizenry, or scapegoating its citizenry, in order to further a narrative of lies.
Laura: Yeah, well, and also just being unsurprised that there would be this level of corruption and skullduggery being committed, being perpetuated by the government. And I think we’ve seen this evolution for Hermione, because there is a very long time where she sees authority figures for the most part – not everyone, but for the most part – like teachers, members of the government, as being beyond reproach. But what Umbridge has shown her over these last several weeks is, “Oh, no. We’re in the bad place right now.”
[Andrew and Eric laugh]
Laura: And it’s definitely unsettling to be reading this again just a few years after we did it last time, and being able to pick up on real world parallels. I think we keep coming back to that.
Micah: Definitely. And it’s clear, though, that we should be paying attention to what’s going on with Sturgis Podmore, because not only is it mentioned in the Prophet, but Percy brings him up later on in his letter to Ron. And we noted when we did Chapter by Chapter just a couple of months ago the fact that he is MIA a couple times, and actually it gets brought up again in this chapter when he was supposed to be with them at King’s Cross, and Moody was wondering where good old Sturgis was because it wasn’t the first time he missed an assignment. So we should certainly keep tabs on good old Sturgis.
Eric: So if we’re finished talking about Ron being a smart character, let’s talk about Ron being a poor Quidditch player.
Andrew: Aww.
Micah: Oh, come on. That’s not fair.
Eric: I know, I know. No, no, no, he is susceptible, as many of us are… I count myself into the… well, if anyone were really mean to me, I would just cry. But anyway…
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: The Gryffindor Quidditch team do actually a fairly good job at attempting to set Ron at ease, be like, “You can do this! Let’s go! Come on, you can!” despite these hecklers that show up to their practice from Slytherin, and I’ve got to say, it’s actually… as sad as it is to see Ron fumble, especially his first major practice… since we know all the work he put in from last chapter. But I think the team – even his brothers, who are predisposed to mock him – ultimately come together in a nice way and try and play as one team. He’s no longer the Keeper try-out, possible “We don’t want him to get it”; he’s now their Keeper, and so they have to deal with it, and I think they really do.
Andrew: Yeah. Well, and they have no choice but to support Ron, because now they are literally on the same team. It’s not just being in the same House; Fred and George want to win, just like everybody else on the team does, and they have to put their bullying of Ron aside and get the job done. So I don’t see them here as being a good brother to Ron; they just want to win. [laughs] And maybe they’re proud of their brother, too, deep down.
Eric: Yeah, well, I think they more than anybody would know what he needs emotionally. Well, not more than Harry, but if they’re going to actually eke out a good performance despite this very obvious setback… and in fact, I think the Slytherins are even surprised how well their taunts work, which is a shame because they’re obviously emboldened by them.
Andrew: So let’s talk about the taunts. I can’t believe opposing Houses would be allowed to watch these practices happen. It seems like there needs to be at least some practices that the Hogwarts Houses get that are actually private, because when they’re practicing, they might be practicing some strategy, some strategy they don’t want to get out in advance of a game. So it seemed very unfair that… okay, maybe let’s say the Slytherins can sit there and watch, just maybe for educational purposes or whatever. But to also taunt them during the practice? That should not be allowed at all.
[Eric sighs]
Laura: Yeah, but this is Hogwarts.
Andrew: I know.
Laura: And I feel like – and I’m trying to remember this from high school and stuff – but I mean, isn’t there the concept, Micah, of a closed practice and an open practice, where it is permissible sometimes to have spectators?
Micah: Yep.
Laura: And I feel like we see an example of Gryffindor booking the pitch at some point and claiming to have a closed practice when Slytherins were trying to watch. It wasn’t this instance, but it was another one, and I’m just wondering if Hogwarts has that distinction where you’re allowed to call for a closed practice and say, “Get the F out of here.”
Micah: There was; I think it was in Chamber of Secrets where Gryffindor had the pitch booked, and because Draco was the new Seeker, they were able to get Snape to overturn that and give Slytherin the practice time instead, and it really pissed off Oliver Wood.
Eric: Right. Yeah, and Gryffindor have the new Keeper. They could use that excuse.
Micah: Sure. And Laura, you’re definitely right in that there are open practices, there are closed practices, there are such things as scouts, but usually those are at games, not at practices, because these are usually more intimate environments where more planning is taking place, and this is definitely the equivalent of scouting another team’s practices. And I wanted to do a real world comparison, so I looked it up, and it actually differs between the collegiate level and the pro sports levels here in the United States. So according to the NCAA, it’s considered illegal to in-person scout a future opponent’s practice during the same season, so basically, that means you can’t physically attend their practice to gather information about their strategies. Now, at the professional level you can, but there are a lot of different rules and restrictions around what types of practices you’re allowed to attend. And honestly, I don’t even think there’s any scouting going on here; I think they’re just there to make Ron absolutely miserable. That’s the only reason why.
Andrew: Oh, yeah. They enjoy this.
Micah: Is it fair? No, it’s absolutely not fair. But I’m wondering, for Ron, did this actually help him, though? Because imagine him in his first game and the pressure that comes with that. I know we’re going to see that, but this is kind of a taste of that. It’s a bit of a hostile situation.
Andrew: I don’t think it would help me, personally. This would distract me, right? And this is his first practice, isn’t it? As part of the team.
Eric: Yeah, but is it better for him to be made aware that this is something that’s going to exist going forward now than at his first game?
Andrew: I guess. He’s no stranger to bullying, though; he sees Harry being bullied across the series. This concept isn’t exactly new to him.
Eric and Laura: Yeah.
Laura: But was this the best way for Ron to experience his first “practice”? I guess I wonder if this would have been an opportunity for the team to just meet up and talk a little bit of strategy. Let Angelina introduce her vision of being captain and what she wants the team to work towards this year. I think Ron is already feeling like a fish out of water, and like all eyes are on him because he’s the new guy. Make him feel a little comfortable, make him feel a little welcome before you put him up in front of the whole team, and then whoever from Slytherin is coming to bully everybody in the stands.
Eric: I just think this stems from the Slytherins have nothing better to do on Saturdays. They’re too idle. They need to have more clubs.
Micah: Get a hobby. But for Ron, I do agree the other players are able to really just tune it out because they’re confident in their abilities and they’re confident at playing Quidditch, and they’ve been a part of this team for a number of years, where Ron hasn’t. I did also just want to bring up, though, there’s a lot of things that are being thrown out there, and I don’t want to overlook the fact that Pansy makes a comment to Angelina about her hair that is actually fairly racist.
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Eric: It’s just… this is the thing. For students, I think something like racism is learned period, which makes this question what Pansy’s upbringing is. But then also for the students to just casually employ these types of comments, the way that Draco feels perfectly fine bringing up how he’s high class and Ron is low class, these sorts of things, and it generates the fight that eventually bans Harry from Quidditch here, but just the casual way in which the Slytherins say these things that are completely inappropriate. And maybe under a different teacher, if McGonagall were looking, they wouldn’t be able to sit in on practice this way. But this is the year where, just like Snape skewed it for the Slytherins in Book 2, if anyone were to complain to Umbridge about them sitting in or whatever, she would show her partisanship and colors and let the Slytherins off. You just know she would. Anyway, it’s time to not only be not racist, but actively be anti-racist, at Hogwarts and otherwise. So let’s talk about a different direction where unpleasant things come from, but not before we hear about a pleasant thing via this ad break.
Andrew: [laughs] Let’s hope it’s pleasant.
[Ad break]
Eric: Welcome back, and here is a tonic for our previous discussion, if you want to get angry. And this is the reason why we’re taking deep breaths in this chapter: It’s because Ron, of course, gets a letter from Percy, happy Ministry Percy, and it’s kind of unexpected. Ron has just dealt with poor Quidditch performance, and he’s had a long day. Harry has had a long school year so far. The very last thing he expects is to even hear from Percy, but Percy, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that there is something he just needs to share with his brother, more than a congratulations for being prefect.
Andrew: Before we get into the details of the letter, can I just say one thing that struck me about it is how long it is, and I think it speaks to how un-self-aware and how full of himself Percy is. I was reading this on the Kindle initially; it’s, like, eight digital pages I’m flipping through. Then I grabbed the physical copy to see how long it actually is; it’s two and a half full pages. I think that says something, the length of this letter. And I wonder if it’s one of the longest handwritten letters in the Harry Potter books, because it has to be up there.
[Micah laughs]
Eric: Oh, wow.
Andrew: Really!
Eric: Yeah, I mean, it is up there with certain news articles that are clipped for us.
Andrew and Micah: Yeah.
Micah: What I think it says ultimately, though, is that Percy is longing for connection to his family because there’s nobody else that he can reach out to, and he thinks that by connecting with Ron this way, that maybe there’s a glimmer of hope that the two of them could be close.
Eric: Wow.
Andrew: And this is his idea of getting close?
Eric: Well, even though it fails miserably… and when reading it, you realize it’s bound to fail miserably. Does he even know his brother?
Andrew: No.
Eric: Does he have self-awareness of how he comes off?
Micah: That’s the other thing. That’s such a good point. He doesn’t know Ron, and this proves it.
Laura: Yep.
Eric: Yeah. Well, and hasn’t made enough of a case, right? It’s almost the fact that he walked out makes Ron predisposed to not like him, but there’s a whole history of the two of them for that. But yeah, let’s talk about it. So I’m sure Ron would have loved a congratulations from some other people, but from Percy, who has been bullied relentlessly for being proud of being a prefect by Ron’s family, I’m sure getting the congratulations from Percy just makes Ron feel ickier that he, too, is a prefect, right?
Laura: Yeah, it probably doesn’t help. And I mean, we see Ron being really hesitant to throw the book at someone.
Andrew: [laughs] Like his own brothers?
Laura: Yeah, he’s really hesitant to actually exercise any of the authority that’s been given to him, because he doesn’t want… that’s not who he is, right? That’s not who Ron is. Ron is not somebody to try and get other people in trouble; it’s not in his character. So it’s already difficult, and the fact that everybody seems surprised that he got it and that it took a while for the acceptance to come from his friend circle and from his family, to then have the only person who’s proactively reaching out to say, “Hey, I heard about this; that’s so great,” to have it be Percy, it’s the lamest support that you could ever ask for.
Andrew: Aww.
[Eric laughs]
Laura: No, I’m serious.
Andrew: I believe… I know.
Eric: And also, Percy actually tells Ron how he heard about this, and it’s a very bragging, “Oh, I heard it from the Minister himself,” and then he also volunteers that the Minister heard it from Umbridge. The only reason why Dolores Umbridge would be telling Fudge that Ron was made a prefect is if she’s reporting to Fudge about who all are prefects this year, basically who Dumbledore appointed to be prefects, and so this information was no doubt contained in a report on Dumbledore for Fudge provided by Umbridge. Do you guys agree?
Andrew: Yes, but I think it also says something that if Umbridge is reporting this to Fudge, she may be using this as more evidence that Dumbledore is incompetent.
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: Like, “And he made Ron a prefect; isn’t that messed up? We cannot trust this guy.” Not like Umbridge would know Ron very well…
Eric: No.
Andrew: … but maybe she’s overheard things about the Weasleys.
Laura: No, but it does show that Percy will kind of pick and choose what he likes and doesn’t like. He doesn’t trust Dumbledore, but Dumbledore’s choice to make Ron a prefect, Percy is okay with that.
Eric: Ooh, that’s a good point. I also like… I mean, Percy slanders Fred and George. And on the one hand, we’ve seen Fred and George ruthlessly bully Percy, specifically Percy – it’s pretty much their favorite thing to do in the first four books – so I understand why there’s no love lost there. But by Percy telling Ron, “I must admit that I have always been afraid that you would take what we might call the ‘Fred and George’ route, rather than following in my footsteps,” he makes it a dichotomy, an either/or. And that makes the whole situation even more repulsive, because Ron has always gotten along with Fred and George for the most part, and so this idea that he’s breaking away, breaking out of Fred and George and following in Percy’s footsteps, really presupposes that Ron and Percy are closer than they ever really were and would be again.
Laura: Yeah, or that Ron only had two paths available to him. Eric, you said something that actually resonates with a comment from Ariane in our Discord, who says, “Does it say something that Percy, who is usually bullied, is the only one reaching out to Ron, who is usually ignored? Maybe he feels they’re both the odd ones out in the family.”
Andrew: Oh, yeah.
Eric: I love that. And I also love – getting back to what Micah was saying about the psychology of what Percy is dealing with now – the becoming of a prefect is Percy’s in to have some level of pretext, a reason to reach out.
Micah: Totally.
Eric: Yeah, and so I think that… he also tells Ron, hopefully he’ll “be able to read this away from prying eyes.” Again, it’s self-important to say that, but it’s also attempting to be given that level of privacy, which shows trust and connection. Again, it’s all… I think Micah is right; I think it’s all about connecting to family and, I don’t know, trying to be connected again when he did something that he’s not yet ready to own.
Micah: He’s striving for points of connection, like you’re saying, with the prefect, with going down a road that is not the road that Fred and George are going down… he is really trying to find that point to connect with Ron on. But it does show you, when you were talking about how he tells Ron that hopefully he’s reading this away from prying eyes, that he’s aware of the fact that the Ministry is likely monitoring communication. That’s what I took away from… think about how he goes about communicating with Ron. He’s doing it under the cover of night, he’s sending his owl to Gryffindor Tower, and he’s hoping that there’s not going to be anybody around Ron at this time, so he knows what’s going on.
Eric: Well, that said, if the Ministry opened that letter from Percy, they would love it. I think Umbridge would frame it if she had it. I think there’s not a risk… I don’t think Percy is worried about the Ministry getting the letter; I think he’s worried about Harry seeing it, or any… it’s just a fundamental misread of Ron to think that Ron wouldn’t share something like communication from your brother. Harry would cheer him on. It’s the difference between Ron having friends and Percy not having friends.
Andrew: Exactly, and Percy is assuming that Harry could read this letter, which means that Harry and Ron are probably close enough that Ron would share the letter with Harry, which means they are good friends, so Percy is insane to assume that Ron is just going to cut things off with his good friend Harry just because Percy is showing up out of the blue and making that request!
Eric: Yeah, it makes Percy seem way, way off, even more.
Micah: I wonder, though, does Percy think there’s a chance that Dumbledore would intercept this and read it, and that’s why he’s following a similar approach, doing it kind of under the cover of night? I don’t know. When I read this letter, I went back to something that we’ve talked about before: I think it would have been absolutely amazing if Percy was a double agent working for Dumbledore.
Eric: Ohh.
[Andrew laughs]
Micah: This would have been the perfect letter for him to send. We see coded messages going out earlier on in this chapter, the note that Harry sends to Sirius, and this would be exactly the kind of letter that Percy would be expected to send to Ron. He would be showing the fact that he’s doing such a great job. I know it’s not the case, and he’s not a double agent, but I like to think that that would have been a nice twist.
Eric: I like that a lot, actually, yeah.
Micah: Because he plays the part so well.
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: But guys, he sent this in the middle of night because he’s very busy during the workday, working with Fudge.
Eric: Oh, he’s so busy! You’re right.
Andrew: He has no time, so he finally found some time at the end of the day.
Eric: Aww.
Laura: You know what? I think Percy is the Dwight Schrute of this universe.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: You know, Dwight, he’s the Assistant to the Regional Manager, but he calls himself Assistant Regional Manager. That is very much Percy’s energy.
Andrew: He’ll do whatever Michael Scott wants him to do, or Fudge wants him to do.
Laura: Very self-important.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Oh my God. And speaking of self-important, there’s just a formality that does not need to exist with this letter. He refers to Harry as “Harry Potter.” There’s not another Harry. First of all, we don’t hear about another Harry at Hogwarts the entire seven years that Harry is here. There’s certainly a Harry that is going to be the Harry that Percy is talking about, so why say “Harry Potter”? It creates distance. It creates a level of… again, it’s that upturned nose, or… “Remember your best friend, Harry Potter, that smelly person who is discredited?” It just is tasteless and really misses, I think.
Andrew: Tasteless, yeah. Too formal, and again, out of touch. He just does not realize the relationship that Ron has with Harry, seemingly.
Eric: Yeah, and to assume that Ron would care more about the prefect badge – that he didn’t even ask for or want – than about being Harry’s friend or associating with Harry. I mean, that’s the thing, is Percy assumes that Ron cares at all that he’s been prefect. [laughs] And for the points you brought up, Andrew, his reason not to… he doesn’t enjoy wielding authority. He doesn’t enjoy the fact that he’s in this position. So even the fact that Percy would use this as a leaping point to say all these horrible things about what Ron does have and like, his friend in Harry, is a complete misread of the situation.
Micah: Well, what it also says to me, though, is that Percy has never really had a close friend.
Andrew and Laura: Yep.
Eric: Someone who would cheer you on.
Micah: Maybe outside of Penelope. It’s clear, the way that he’s anticipating or expecting Ron to treat Harry based on this letter. They’ve been best buds for four years.
Eric: It’s sad, really, to think that… I mean, because what happens that they find Errol – or is it Hermes? – outside the window, and Harry is shown the letter by Ron after he reads it, because Harry cares. Harry wants to know that Ron… not because he’s nosy, but because he wants to support his friend. So it’s like, “Oh, your brother wrote you? Wow. How’s your brother doing?” That’s what people who support each other would ask; they would naturally be inclined. But anyway, there are some plot developments hinted at in this letter, including… Percy says, “I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer, and the people who count have a very different – and probably more accurate – view of Potter’s behavior,” and “See the Daily Prophet tomorrow for a good way the wind is blowing.” If everything Percy has said up to this point has rubbed Ron the wrong way, giving him… confiding in him that something horrible is going to happen to Dumbledore, and that there are machinations at work to remove him from the school, is going to absolutely seal the deal, right? Like, “Eugh, he’s confiding in me that there’s this plot to remove Dumbledore.” He just doesn’t understand him at all. Anyway, just wrapping up, too; he calls uh Dolores Umbridge a “delightful woman.” Barf.
[Laura and Micah laugh]
Andrew: Can you three imagine any scenario in which Umbridge is genuinely a delightful woman? I mean, whether you work with her at the Ministry or not, I have a hard time picturing her being delightful. Maybe inauthentically delightful, like Harry gets some tastes of. But does Percy not detect any inauthenticity with her?
Laura: I mean, honestly, I think Percy matches it. I think at this point, Percy is inauthentic as hell, so his bar for what constitutes being a lovely person is in hell.
Micah: Think he’s got a crush?
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: I hope not.
Eric: I think he has ambition.
Andrew: Well, he might aspire to be… yeah, aspire to be like Umbridge one day.
Micah: Crush for power. How about that?
Eric: Yeah.
Laura: There we go.
Micah: Well, and the more that I think about this letter, the more that I can see Percy maybe even going to somebody like Fudge and saying, “Look, my brother is best friends with Harry Potter. I can get you some real inside intel.” That would be, in my mind, more likely than him being a double agent. [laughs] I can see that being his motivation for sending this type of a letter. I wouldn’t be surprised if this letter was even looked over by Fudge before it was sent out.
Andrew: And speaking of Percy feeling isolated by doing that, Micah, then he feels more important at the Ministry and he’s going to get the attention that he so desires.
Micah: Sure.
Eric: Oh, that’s so true. And he also talks down on the rest of the family for following Dumbledore. So any chance that Percy had of having a relationship with Ron is pretty well…
Andrew: It’s been Evanesco‘d, you could say.
Eric: Yeah, put that crap where it belongs on poop mountain.
Andrew: [laughs] Well, speaking of family drama like this, we’re going to take a break, and then when we come back, we’re going to try to make the real life connection with this scenario, so we’ll be right back.
Eric: Love it.
[Ad break]
Andrew: All right, so something that we’re trying to do with this new Chapter by Chapter series is make real life connections to the books, because as we read these books at different ages of our lives, we can connect to these books in different ways. So inspired by Percy telling Ron to sever ties with Harry, I was wondering if any of us have ever experienced family drama like this, where family members might be severing ties. Maybe we’re not talking to family members anymore. I actually have one somewhat relatable to this particular scenario. My dad and his brother, meaning my uncle, got into a fight with somebody else in the family – I won’t name names; not my immediate family, of course – nine years ago! And somebody in the family is still so salty about this situation that my dad and his brother are not talking, and it’s stupid and the clock’s ticking. They’re not going to live forever; they’d better patch things up. But this type of thing happens, and Percy at least makes amends by the end of the series with the rest of his family. But yeah, I just… when I read this, I was thinking about that, where my dad and his brother aren’t talking even nine years later after an incident.
Eric: And they’re good friends? They get along.
Andrew: Right. Oh, they used to be great friends, on the phone all the time with each other…
Eric: Yeah, that is such a loss.
Andrew: Yeah, it is!
Laura: You know what, though, Andrew? Let them.
Andrew: [laughs] No! Too much Mel Robbins this week. No.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Andrew: Oh, I’m letting them. I’m sitting back. I’m like, “Really? You two aren’t talking anymore? You should probably try to fix that.”
Micah: Andrew, tell them to high five each other in the mirror.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Any big enough family drama and falling-outs like this really make you question what is important, and it’s almost like remaining angry or being angry is more important than showing that you care, essentially. Saying the mean things and showing the mean things are being prioritized over showing the soft and nice things, and so there’s… what family does not have drama?
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Eric: I’ve got definitely extended family that I’m thinking of that have made these choices to not talk or to not even have a relationship with their children, their grandchildren, as a result of chosen lifestyles, and it’s just a shame for the years of support and love that they could be sharing with one another, and instead, they’re making the situation worse the longer it goes, the greater the pain becomes.
Micah: Yeah, and I would say – and I’m sure we’re going to talk about this a little bit in the next section – but politics do play a major role, I think, for a lot of families and severing ties with members of immediate family or extended family because of candidates that they may support. And I think it’s unfortunate, but I think it’s just the time we live in currently, and it’s hard to think back that this would have been as divisive 20, 30, 40 years ago, but I think we’re just in a time now where everything is so volatile and it’s easier than ever to hear what people are saying. I think that’s part of the problem, honestly – without jumping into too much detail – is just there’s so much noise.
Eric: Well, I do think that what Percy is saying could be political, in the sense that even though Dumbledore never ran for Minister, it is the Dumbledore camp or the Fudge camp, and his family is all in the Dumbledore camp, and Percy is the only one in the Fudge camp. So if you think of it politically, there’s also that argument to be made, I think.
Micah: Sure.
Andrew: Yeah. One of our listeners is contributing to this discussion; Michelle said, “I didn’t talk to my aunt and uncle for at least 20 years because my mother hated them. Luckily, I reconnected about a year before my uncle died. I am so glad that I did.” Yeah, that is really nice.
Laura: Oh, I’m so glad for that.
Andrew: And it’s interesting reading family drama in these books, because I think maybe when I was reading this for my first time when I was a kid, 14/15 years old, the family drama may have felt as fictional to me as magic did in this series.
Laura: Right.
Andrew: “Family drama like this? Brothers fighting? I can’t imagine that.” But now, reading this today, it’s all too common and real.
Eric: That is actually a good point, that the flavoring of Percy falling out with the family was, at a young age, not something I related to. That was as unreal as the fantasy elements.
Andrew: Yeah, because your family, your mom and dad, might have kept the drama away from you.
Eric: That too.
Andrew: I’m sure there was drama in their lives, but you didn’t really see it as much. At least, I didn’t.
Eric: Yeah, I like that. I like this question a lot.
Laura: Yeah. No, I think that’s just a very natural part of growing up – to your point, Andrew – and I think in general, it is more common, I think, nowadays to hear about kids doing this with their parents. So maybe that is an added layer that we can look at this present state of Percy in, because I feel like as a kid when I was reading this, I would have never been able to imagine, like, “Why would someone stop talking to their parents because they disagree with them on this thing?”, right? Liking Dumbledore or not. I just couldn’t… it didn’t make sense to me. But you definitely see, especially now that it is more common, people do that for all sorts of reasons.
Eric: We do have one happy moment in this chapter before we wrap, a chapter that began at the owlery and ends with a visit from Sirius Black in the fireplace – to Andrew’s mention – and it’s a bit of an info dump. It’s, of course, good to see him, but we hear that Dolores Umbridge is apparently no Death Eater. And of course, the wonderful quote, “The world isn’t divided into good people and Death Eaters.” What we learn about Umbridge from Sirius Black is that she did, however, pass anti-werewolf legislation that made it next to impossible for folks like Remus Lupin, who we love, to get a job, and when you prevent people from having legitimate careers and tell them that they don’t belong in society, you create a problem that I think is very familiar to all of us and for the rest of us, and so it’s pretty clear to me now what type of person Umbridge is. Harry doesn’t have the maturity because he’s young or the language yet to understand what Umbridge really is or represents, and that’s one of the merits of this book, is introducing us to another type of villain. It’s the Ministry official who does not do enough to prevent the world from sinking into evil. It’s that saying about “All that’s necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” If Umbridge is good, that’s debatable. She is no Death Eater, apparently, but she’s allowing this to happen. She’s enabling this to happen. She’s cruel. She embodies cruelty. What she’s doing to Harry in detentions is completely illegal and awful, but she justifies it, and so I think now we have a full picture. Thanks, Uncle Sirius, for exactly how awful Umbridge really is.
Micah: I think you said it best, Eric, in that she’s a different kind of evil. You don’t have to be a Death Eater; you don’t have to be a Dark Lord. There’s other types of individuals out there that do really bad things, and she does it under the cover of this insidious sweetness that she has. Maybe that’s what appeals to Percy on some level.
Eric: “I like all the pink she wears,” says Percy.
Andrew: [laughs] I want to see him dressing up in Umbridge pink. I would like that.
Eric: It would clash horribly with his orange hair.
Micah: This book in particular, as we move through it… there were a lot of real world comparisons back when we last did it; there are quite a few now. I’d almost want to do an episode… maybe we have to put it behind the paywall, because I’m sure there are things that we would say that may not sit well with all of our audience, but there’s a lot here.
Andrew: Get us some fresh one star reviews, yeah.
Eric: Also, our big friend is fine.
Micah: Good.
Eric: Sirius says Hagrid is probably fine.
Andrew: Oh, I thought you meant Snorlax.
[Laura and Micah laugh]
Eric: Snorlax also is fine. But yeah, he tells Harry that Dumbledore is not worried, which is nice. And don’t you just hate to have somebody you love, like a family member or even a good friend, ask to hang out, but you’re like, “We probably shouldn’t do that right now,” telling them no?
[Micah laughs]
Eric: Unfortunately, it ends kind of on a down note because Sirius suggests that they hang out during the next Hogsmeade weekend, and the part we didn’t mention is that the Daily Prophet now caught on that Sirius is in London, and even though Sirius downplays it, it’s a very real concern, and so the trio all agree that they should not meet up with Sirius. And then Sirius definitely doesn’t have an adverse reaction, say something that he shouldn’t say, that furthers what everyone else has been saying about him all along, namely Molly.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: So that doesn’t happen, but the chapter does end.
Andrew: And the information that the Ministry has may have been relayed by Lucius, and we were wondering earlier in this book if Lucius did tell Draco about Sirius, because Draco makes that “dogging” comment. But I wanted to look at, Eric, what you’re talking about, a comment Sirius makes that isn’t too great here. Sirius says to Harry, after Sirius asks about the Hogsmeade weekend and Harry says no – and Hermione does too – Sirius says to Harry that he is not as much like James as he thought. And it’s rough, but I do think this validates Mrs. Weasley’s concerns from earlier in the book, that Sirius treats Harry too much like James.
Eric: I think that Sirius has had a rough week and he’s interested in seeing his godson, and…
Andrew: All right, Sirius Black423.
[Laura and Micah laugh]
Eric: That’s what… I’m going to defend him 423 times, it feels like.
Andrew: Eric is the Sirius apologist; I’m the Dumbledore apologist.
Eric: This does not validate Molly’s inappropriate comment, but it does show that Molly’s comment is not completely…
Micah: Baseless.
Eric: … without merit.
Micah: Yeah, I agree. Sirius is being a bit reckless here, which he’s been known to do. And he’s – to your point, Andrew – been cooped up with Kreacher all week. Or Eric, you said that he had… who said he had a bad week? I can’t even remember.
Andrew: Eric.
Eric: Oh, I said he’d had a bad week, but I wasn’t even thinking about Kreacher, yeah.
Micah: It’s tough. I mean, you can tell Sirius wants out of the house, that that’s what it comes down to, and he’s looking for a point of connection. But this just… his departure, too, is so rude. He just snaps out of there, and he’s like, “See you later.”
Andrew: Doesn’t he say because he hears Kreacher coming down the stairs or something like that? That’s the excuse.
Micah: Yeah, but Harry said that he doesn’t believe him.
Andrew: Oh. [laughs] I missed that part.
Eric: Yeah, that’s cheap.
Andrew: Does Grimmauld Place have a backyard? Can Sirius not go into the backyard and get a little tan action going on on a rare sunny day in London?
Micah: I don’t know.
Laura: Well, he wants that personal connection, like Micah was saying, and I think it’s an interesting connection to make between Percy and Padfoot in this chapter, because both of them, I think we’ve established, are desperate for some kind of connection and feel isolated.
Eric: And hurt their family. That’s amazing, and they end up… both of them end up hurting their family by a communication that they issue.
Odds & Ends
Eric: Let’s get to odds and ends!
Micah: Sure, just a couple odds and ends. Thought it was important to mention that Harry sees Thestrals for the second time when he’s looking out of the owlery; they pop up in the forest. And it’s a bit connecting the threads, too, because this is now the second book, if you tie it to Prisoner of Azkaban, where you have these creepy black-winged creatures that represent death, or have some sort of connection to death, if you want to connect them to the Dementors. But thought that was interesting. And then…
Eric: And they’re not limited to traveling on the ground, yeah.
Micah: They both fly, yeah. Fred and George, all right? We talked about them last week, testing these products on kids.
[Eric laughs]
Micah: I know it wasn’t intentional, but they gave Katie something that made her almost bleed out during Quidditch practice.
Andrew and Laura: Yeah.
Eric: Oops!
Andrew: These products are deadly.
Laura: So this is actually the proof of how dangerous these are, even if the intentions are only pure.
Micah: Right.
Andrew: Hold on, I’m switching to my security consultant hat. This is disgusting.
[Everyone laughs]
Andrew: We need my literal security consultant hat. This is disgusting.
Eric: Please help us.
Andrew: Hogwarts is a security nightmare, and I will be wearing this hat next week for the next chapter, “The Hogwarts High Inquisitor,” because… well, call me Percy, I guess, next week if I’m siding with Umbridge during this chapter. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, man. We’ll look forward to that.
Laura: [laughs] Percy Sims.
Micah: Poor Katie.
Andrew: I know!
Micah: I mean, between this book and the next one? Can’t catch a break.
Superlative of the Week
Eric: And now we have our MVP segment redone to be what could Ron have said instead of just tearing up the letter? He reads it, he scoffs, he’s disgusted, he lets Harry see it, then he takes it and rips it up. What would be the best line that Ron should have used? Out loud.
Andrew: [gruffly] “Dry up, Percy, you great prune.”
[Everyone laughs]
Micah: Need some water?
Andrew: That’s my best Hagrid.
Eric: Oh, I miss Hagrid now. How about just a good “Shut up, Weatherby.”
Andrew: Yeah, that’d be good.
Laura: That’s a good one.
Andrew: That would hit him where it hurts.
Eric: Fudge doesn’t even know your name.
Micah: I think a simple “I must not tell lies.”
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: There’s that.
Laura: And I’m going to borrow a favorite from those of us in the 21st century with cell phones: “New quill, who dis?”
[Everyone laughs]
Micah: I like that.
Eric: Oh, I love it.
Lynx Line
Eric: All right, and let’s hear from our Lynx Line now. This, of course, is our newest benefit on Patreon. Thanks to everyone who supports us on Patreon.com/MuggleCast, and thanks to everyone who answered this question. We had a little bit of fun with this, and we asked… here’s the prompt for the Lynx Line this week: Write a letter to Snuffles telling him about your favorite movie, but be careful – Umbridge is reading your letter, and you don’t want her to experience the joy of seeing a very good movie.
Andrew: What a fun twist.
Eric: So describe it in code, right, yeah. Describe it in code, which may inadvertently make the movie sound bad – that’s fine – and tell us at the end what the movie is. So this was a fun way of thinking about writing in code, as Harry does. And how would you do these sorts of things?
Andrew: Cassandra wrote in,
“Oy, Snuffles! Want to drown out your mum’s voice? Watch these American teenager movies where all the Muggle kids sing and dance and learn to love their true selves. Even the Slytherin types improve! You’ll laugh at the game they play that’s like Quidditch without brooms. Keep the faith, bro, we’re all in this together. Harry.”
So this would be High School Musical, for anybody who doesn’t know.
Eric: I love that. From Danielle,
“I just had my annual rewatch of my favorite movie, and I’m not sure I’ve ever recommended it to you. It’s about a crew of coworkers that sell music on the daily, but on this one special day, all heck breaks loose. A washed-up celebrity is in their midst, all while one of their own gambles away their fortunes, shots are fired, love is declared, and they must save their establishment by midnight. I think you would get a kick out of the soundtrack too. Rock on, Harry.”
That’s Empire Records. I think Sirius would love that movie.
Micah: Yeah, it’s a great movie. Jen OG says,
“Ahoy, Snuffles. Hope life is treating you well. Thought you might like to hear about this awesome movie I watched last night. It was about this old dude who had a crazy idea to use science (it’s a Muggle thing that’s a bit like magic) to make himself a fortune playing on people’s love of dangerous things. He built a never-seen-before amusement park. Unfortunately, his plans went awry, and his park became overrun with mystical creatures who weren’t best pleased with the modern times they found themselves in. Give my love to Bucky. Love, Harry.”
Eric: Bucky.
Micah: And Jen, of course, is referring to Jurassic Park.
Laura: I love that.
Andrew: Umbridge would hate this one. Mystical creatures who weren’t pleased with modern times?
Eric: Oh, God. Half-breeds. Clones!
Micah: I mean, especially what happens to her at the end of this book. [laughs]
Andrew: Exactly, yeah.
Laura: That’s one of my top favorite movies of all time.
Andrew: This next one is from Rachel.
“Dear Snuffles, if you’re looking for a movie rec, I have to share one of my favorites. It won an award. An awesome warrior gets stripped of his title and enters competitions to fight to the death for sport. If you watch it, were you not entertained?”
This is Gladiator.
[Laura laughs]
Eric: Oh, man. This comes from John.
“Dear Snuffles, I watched one of my favorite movies last night. It’s about a guy trying to crawl through a pipe of poop. He doesn’t get to poop mountain, but he does get free. I think you can relate to this one based on experience. Also, there’s a woman in a fur bikini.”
That’s Shawshank Redemption.
Laura: [laughs] Oh, that’s so funny.
Micah: Eleanor writes,
“Dear Snuffles, you really must find time to watch my favorite movie. It’ll give you a whole new appreciation for Severus Snape, and I think you’ll enjoy seeing him as an out and out villain. He even cancels Christmas! It’s great fun, and the good guys went in the end. Love, Harry.”
And this is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
Andrew: Finally, Carly wrote in with,
“Dear Snuffles, just rewatched a favorite movie of mine. It’s about a band of misfit kids battling against a legendary monster for the return of a rare and priceless heirloom. It had originally been lost because the newest member of the group didn’t realize its true worth. Luckily in the end, a wise, blind collector of objects endows the misfits with a similar heirloom of greater value. Hope you’re well, Harry.”
And this was The Sandlot. [laughs]
Micah: I thought maybe they were going to say Darth Vader endows the misfits.
[Andrew and Eric laugh]
Eric: So these are always a lot of fun to do, and it reminded me of…
Micah: Can I just shout-out our patrons?
Eric: They’re incredible!
Micah: These are really good.
Andrew: They’re always so creative. Well done.
Laura: Y’all knocked it out of the park. These were so fun.
Eric: But don’t forget, you can participate in Lynx Line every week by becoming a patron of ours at Patreon.com/MuggleCast.
Andrew: And if you have any feedback about today’s discussion, you can contact us by emailing or sending a voice memo that is recorded on your phone to MuggleCast@gmail.com. We love getting all of your feedback, so thank you, everybody, so much. And next week we will discuss Order of the Phoenix Chapter 15, “The Hogwarts High Inquisitor.” It’s time to get down to business.
Eric: How high is she?
Andrew: [laughs] Not that type of high, but she’s high up in the ranks.
Laura: No, she’s not invited, and she does not seem like she would be fun enough for that.
Andrew: [laughs] Laura would not pass it to her. Let’s just leave it there.
Laura: Nope.
Micah: I don’t want to be interrogated. I think I might skip next week.
Andrew: Ohh. Well, that’s all right; we might have somebody to replace you.
[Micah laughs]
Quizzitch
Andrew: And now it’s time for Quizzitch!
[Quizzitch music plays]
Eric: This week’s Quizzitch question: What English children’s book author started out as a biological illustrator, a subject matter which certainly influenced the animal characters of their books? This was a good history question, and the correct answer is Helen Beatrix Heelis, a.k.a. Beatrix Potter. So for those complaining Quizzitch hasn’t been Potter-related, there you go. 64% of people said they didn’t have to look it up; they knew that about Beatrix Potter. And the correct answers were submitted by A Healthy Breeze; Buff Daddy; Elizabeth K.; Forky Asks the Quizzitch Question; Hero with 1,000 Fandoms; Patronus Seeker; Ravenpuff; Snitch Baker; STARTINGTOSOUNDLIKEASECURITYNIGHTMARE…
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: … The Bowtruckle that gouged out Moody’s eye…
Micah: Ooh.
Eric: … VP-gurl-224-712; and “Where in the world did the Dumbledore apologist go, Andrew?”
Micah: He’s back.
Andrew: Hey, I’m still… look, I try, but these three are wearing me down. I’m starting to see what they’re saying.
Eric: [laughs] Yes! Victory!
Andrew: I don’t know about victory. But look, I’m still trying to put up the good fight.
Eric: Okay, you do that. Here is next week’s Quizzitch question: This relates to Ron’s – well, all of their – homework assignment. First discovered in the year 1610, the four largest moons of the planet Jupiter are called Io, Europa, Ganymede, and what? What is the other moon of the largest moons of the planet Jupiter? Submit your answer to us on the Quizzitch form on the MuggleCast website. Go to our website, MuggleCast.com, and click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav, or use the URL – that’s a thing you type in the bar – www.MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch.
Andrew: If you want to get ready for next week’s chapter in which Umbridge is going to get down to business, maybe visit MuggleCastMerch.com and pick up a security consultant hat or a security nightmare T-shirt. I know I will be wearing mine for next week’s episode. It’s a great way to support the show. Also, if you miss us in between new episodes of MuggleCast, check out our other weekly podcasts, What the Hype?! and Millennial, for more pop culture and real world talk from the four of us. In our latest episode of What the Hype?!, Laura, Pam, and I are reviewing the new book – the most popular adult novel in 20 years – Onyx Storm. And then over on Millennial, we are discussing the latest political news, the threat of tariffs – I know, very fun Harry Potter-related topics – and our favorite self-help books, if you didn’t catch that self-help book reference earlier.
Micah: Let them.
[Everyone laughs]
Andrew: Right. Listener support is the only way we’ve been able to podcast for 20 years, and there are several other great ways to help us out. Apple Podcasts subscribers can sign up for MuggleCast Gold, which gets you ad-free and earlier releases of MuggleCast, plus two bonus MuggleCast installments every month. And for even more benefits, pledge at Patreon.com/MuggleCast. You’ll get all the benefits of MuggleCast Gold, plus livestreams; we’ve got at least a dozen people listening live tonight, probably a couple dozen. We appreciate everybody tuning in and sounding off in the chat. You also get Lynx Line participation, physical gifts, and a personal video message from one of the four of us. So thanks, everybody who supports us at Patreon.com/MuggleCast. If you enjoy the show and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about the show, and please leave a five star review in your favorite podcast app. Last but not least, visit MuggleCast.com for transcripts, social media links, our full episode archive, our favorite episodes, links to everything we’ve plugged today, everything. And that does it for this week’s episode. I am, always, your Dumbledore apologist, Andrew.
Eric: I am, and will forevermore be, SiriusBlack 423@AIM.com.
Andrew: [laughs] His apologist.
Micah: I’m Micah, your southern Hagrid apologist.
Laura: I’m Laura, and I apologize for no one.
Andrew: Bye, everybody.