Transcript #70

MuggleCast 70 Transcript

Show Intro

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[Intro music plays]

Andrew: Because a full year of MuggleCast-ing is now behind us, this is MuggleCast Episode 70 for December 30th, 2006, our very special New Year’s Eve show.

[Music continues to play]

Andrew: Happy New Year!

[Everyone cheers]

[Eric whistles]

Andrew: Party going on in the MuggleCast studio. Welcome back, everyone, to the first MuggleCast of 2007. Dare I say, the first podcast of 2007? Probably not. This probably – this show is probably going to go out early. Welcome everyone to our New Year’s show. We have a fun show planned for everyone. I’m glad everyone could join us once again back at the MuggleCast studio this week.

Eric: Yep.

Andrew: Eric, Jamie, Laura, Micah; you’re all here.

Jamie: Apparently.

Andrew: Those MuggleCast t-shirts, they’ve been selling so well. We actually built a studio outside of my house now, and we actually have a private airport. So, you guys just fly right in, no problem.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: The tree house doesn’t count, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Sims International.

Andrew: Yes. It’s a…

Jamie: It serves four million passengers a year, and that’s just us flying back and forth to do the show.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Flight code S-I-M.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: For anyone who is looking to book a flight on Sims International Airlines.

Eric: I thought it was S-M-Z. I book my flights on S-M-Z. Where’s that?

Jamie: No, that’s…

Andrew: That’s New Zealand. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, that is New Zealand. [laughs] Yeah. Oh, well, that’s okay then. Anyway.

Eric: Yeah, I’m going.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. We have a fun show for everyone today; all about the upcoming New Year, and looking back at last year in the Harry Potter world. Quite a busy one. So, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.


[Music continues to play]

Micah: HarryLatino uncovered
some interesting details earlier this week concerning recent trademarks filed by a
company named Field Fisher Waterhouse. Along with registering Deathly Hallows
on December 5th, they also registered two more titles: Heart of Ravenclaw and
Deadly Veil. A representative for Jo said that the titles were “never
contenders” for Book 7. The representative went on to say, “We often registered a
few spares to keep people guessing! Whether Jo reveals what her two other favorites
were, I don’t know.”

We’ve received several tentative foreign titles for Book 7 that I won’t even attempt
to pronounce, but there are some very interesting translations.

And although no release date has been announced, the UK’s Royal Mail is already
undergoing preparation for the task of delivering Deathly Hallows. Planning
will commence with online retailers next month, and pre-orders are expected to be
just as high as the 500,000 for Book 6. A Royal spokesman said, “This kind of
operation takes a lot of planning.”

British bookmakers are taking
on which characters will bite it in Deathly Hallows. Harry Potter,
Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy are the current front-runners with 6-1 odds – after
Voldemort, that is, who remains the odds-on favorite at 4-5.

The Internet Movie Database has
released their top 25 stars for 2006. Among them were Dan Radcliffe and Emma Watson,
who came in at 22nd and 16th, respectively. These rankings were not based upon
critical assessments or box-office performance, but the actual search behavior of
over 42 million users of

Alan Rickman, the actor who plays Severus Snape in the Harry Potter films
spoke recently in an interview about his new movie, Snow Cake, and a little
about Order of the Phoenix. You can see a video of this over on

Amazon has recently released
a list of the most reviewed and requested items of 2006. Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer’s Stone
topped their list as the book with the most positive reviews by
customers for the year.

HPEF has
two new Potter conferences. The first is Portus 2008 from July 10-13
in Dallas, Texas. With its theme, “Opening the door to the Department of Mysteries,”
Portus will explore all the metaphysical aspects of the Wizarding World.

And the Ministry of Magic will be scrutinized even more in-depth at “Level Two 2009,”
which will be held July 23-26 2009, in San Jose, California. The theme for this
conference will focus on Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Registration for both these conferences has not yet opened, and websites are
expected to be launched in the spring.

Just a reminder, two other Harry Potter symposiums will take place this summer: Enlightening
from July 12-15 in Philadelphia and Prophecy
from August 2-5 in Toronto.

Finally, in what could be argued was not the best holiday gift for her, Laura
Mallory, the Georgian mother who is fighting to have the Potter series banned
from local schools, has been named Idiot
of the Year
by the Washington Post. The paper reads:

“This vigilant mother of four has demanded local schools remove Harry Potter from
their libraries because, in her analysis, the books are an “evil” attempt to
indoctrinate children in Wicca religion. Congratulations Laura, and good luck on
your quest to eradicate the dark forces which pollute children’s literature.”

That’s all the news for this December 30th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Happy New
Year and see you all in 2007!

Andrew: All right. Thank you, Micah.

Micah: Wasn’t that a great news segment?

Andrew: I enjoyed it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I do enjoy them from week to week.

Jamie: I do as well.

Andrew: I enjoy listening to them. Mainly because I have to, but I do enjoy them nonetheless.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: Well, thanks, Andrew. I have to listen to you every week when I transcribe, so.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Ooh, ooh.

Andrew: Well, I guess we’re even, aren’t we?

Happy New Year

Jamie: Here’s a question for everyone, and I want serious answers. Okay? Okay, should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

Andrew: I don’t know, but I think you should sing something like that.

Jamie: No, I think you should answer the question.

Andrew: Yes. Everyone sings it, why not?

Jamie: I was looking for something slightly more substantial.

Andrew: I got nothing.

Jamie: Fair enough. Okay. Anyone?

Laura: It’s New Year’s Eve. We’re useless, we’re not going to give you anything substantial.

Eric: [sings] Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne…

Andrew: Okay, but yet another year and Eric is still just as annoying as he was, 2006 and 2005.

Jamie: [sings] Should auld acquaintance be… [hums]


Andrew: We’d like to remind everyone that it is a new month over at Podcast Alley, which means you should place your vote for us so that we can be in the top of the charts. We like being in the top of the charts because that helps spread the word about the show, and we want more Harry Potter fans to listen to the show. And, oh, I had dreaded this day. I didn’t think that it would be coming this soon. MuggleCast t-shirts are no longer for sale. They are done. We can’t sell anymore.

Eric: So…

Andrew: We’ll probably give some away in contests, but this is it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: You can no longer support the show…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: ..via a t-shirt.

Laura: We’re all going to starve now. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, we’re going to starve. There is no way of hibernating now. A lot of people have been asking us why we had to stop selling t-shirts. We did clarify, Episode 64 or 65, I can’t remember which.

Eric: A couple more times.

Andrew: WB… Yeah. WB asked us for licensing legality issues just to stop, and of course we are going to respect their request. So, they are no longer for sale, but we will probably be giving some away in contests and such and live events. So, look forward to that.

Jamie: Yeah.

2006 Reflections

Andrew: So, it is our New Years show. We’re going to take a step outside of the regular discussions that we do normally every week. And, of course, the big news within the past couple weeks, the release of the title of Book Seven. If you didn’t catch Episode 69 that’s where it is all at, and we’ll be discussing…

Jamie: So listen.

Andrew: We’ll be discussing it more on Episode 71, but for now it’s the New Year’s show and we’re going to have some fun. I thought we would start it off by talking about the best 2006 moments, because this was a big year for Harry Potter fans.

Jamie: When I found out I was pregnant.

Andrew: Even a bigger year for us. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it really was.

Andrew: Specifically for those of us who do co-host the show. We really all met each other this year.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Except for me and Ben.

Laura: That was…

Jamie: It was surreal.

Andrew: Yeah. And Eric.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: And Kevin. [laughs]

Eric: Well, we had…

Andrew: And Micah. [laughing] Okay, so not everyone.

Eric: Well, who had I… Last November, 2005…

Laura: I was the only one that hadn’t met anybody. [laughs]

Eric: Right.

Laura: Basically.

Andrew: And Jamie.

Laura: Yeah, Jamie.

Andrew: Well, Jamie knew Emerson.

Jamie: I’d met Eric.

Eric: Yeah. He met me. Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, I’d met Eric.

Andrew: Oh, and Eric.

Eric: So he – yeah.

Jamie: So, in fact when you originally stated that this was the year where we met everyone, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Everyone has met everyone else.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: No, I couldn’t. I just wasted every one’s time. [laughs] No, but…

Jamie: Yep.

Andrew: We had four big events – well, we had three big events. Lumos, July 26th through the 30th. New York City for JK Rowling’s charity reading, “Harry, Carrie, and Garp,” that was August 1st and 2nd. Los Angeles for the Podcast Awards and our LIVE podcast in L.A. which was in late September. Between those three we all hung out several times and it was a lot of fun.

Andrew’s Best Moment of 2006

Andrew: And I wanted to go around the table with a “Best Of” moments. Laura and I came up with this idea because – it sort of stemmed from one story…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: …that Laura reminded me about.

Laura: Yeah. [laughing] Do you want to talk about that story, Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah, because I fricking love it.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I’m so proud of myself for what I did.

Laura: It was…

Andrew: You set it up, and then I’ll – go ahead.

Laura: Okay, well, basically, we were all over at the JW, and Andrew had this iPod fan.

[Eric sighs]

Laura: And it was very, very cool, and he hit the button on it, and you know, it fanned you.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: And we were all pretty impressed with it, and he was informing us where we could get some, so, Andrew, why don’t you tell people where they could get their iPod fans?

Andrew: Well, Eric came in, and asked me where he could get one of those, and we were in the JW Marriott, so I said to him, I decided to pull a prank on him, I said to him that I will – that they’re available in the lobby for free. [laughs] So…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …that was completely made up. It is funny. It’s hilarious, Eric. So, I mean, that wasn’t even the best part. When I told him that, he sprinted out of the room to go and grab one, because I think I told you there was only a few left, so you better hurry up. [laughs] And the rest of the night, you were so angry at me.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: It was hilarious, though, because the second Eric went flying out the door…

Andrew: You hated me.

Laura: …Andrew like does this – he does this little jig. He’s like, all excited, he does this jig and slams the door to the room.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: And I’m like, “Oh, my god, that’s so mean!” And then I’m like, you know, trying not to laugh.

Eric: Yeah, well, the untold part of that story is where I went down to the desk, asked the – one of the…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: This lady was mopping. There was nobody at the desk. I was like, you know, “A friend of mine said he got this iPod fan at the…”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: “…desk,” and, you know, she was like, “Que? Que?” You know, “What’s going on?” So, I ran through the casino then…

Jamie: Then they called the boys in white coats.

Eric: …to the conference center front desk. I thought, you meant, you know, maybe that desk, and they were closed and locked up, and I was wandering the locked-doored halls of, of – until I finally, you know, came back and just looked at you with beady, red eyes…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: …and took your iPod fan, which now has kept me very cool and saved my life while we were waiting for JKR to emerge from the door, and actually… So, yeah, at “Harry, Carrie, and Garp” in New York City, on that hot day when we were all subjected to hot, hot heat, and sun, and sweat, and death.

Jamie: Hot Hot Heat!

Eric: You owe me an “I Owe You.”

Jamie: [sings “Oh, Goddamnit” by Hot Hot Heat]

Regular exposure to insecticide
Has caused me to break out in hives
I’m losing weight, I cannot wait
Oh, Saturday…

Jamie’s Best Moment of 2006

Andrew: So, that was that. Jamie, do you have any big memories about the past year? I guess at the live events we’ve spent together.

Jamie: I, I, okay, I don’t want to sound like, you know, the bloody – sorry, I don’t want to sound like the guy who’s like, you know, “And I want to bring out a big thanks to everyone,” but I, I really enjoyed this year because, you know, it was awesome to go to America and meet, you know, everyone who’s hopefully listening now. And it was so nice to see everyone and to speak to you all and it was – it’s been a surreal year, it really has been a surreal year, taking in, you know, Vegas for a podcast, California for a podcast.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: And it’s been surreal to meet all of my fellow co-hosts, as well. And it’s clearly, you know, clearly they’re all going to be lifelong friendships and my god, I’m going to cry.

Eric and Laura: Awww.

Eric: Jamie, sorry to tell you, you have become that guy who says the…

Jamie: Hmm? I have – I’ve just become the exact person I told myself…

[Eric sighs]

Jamie: …I wasn’t going to turn into.

Eric: You know, I hate it when that happens, but at least you’re a decent guy.

Jamie: So, yeah. So, all of you and all the fans that we’ve met, I think everyone’s been absolutely lovely. I have not met a single bad person yet, ever, and I won’t say ever.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Jamie: But in terms of Harry Potter fans, you know, and the people we’ve met, yeah. Everyone’s been absolutely fantastic and I’ve had one of the best years of my life.

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: So, thank you, everyone.

Andrew: I’d agree with that, yeah.

Eric: My moment of the year is going to be Jamie trying to hold the – you know, balance the seven boxes of Lucky Charms in Los Angeles.

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, thank you for those. They were awesome.

Eric: [laughs] He had seven boxes. Just trying to, you know, carry all that stuff out with him, and the poor fans were still mobbing him for autographs and stuff.

Jamie: They…that was…we had an awesome breakfast the next day.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: What breakfast? At my house?

Jamie: No, after the podcast in LA.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: We had all those Lucky Charms.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Finished them all.

Eric: Yeah, they were seven unopened boxes [laughs] or, seven opened boxes, rather, the next day.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh.

Micah’s Best Moment of 2006

Andrew: Micah, you got any stories you’d like to share?

Jamie: If you just say the same as me, then you can appear really, you know, thoughtful and emotional, you don’t even have to say all the stuff that I said.

Micah: Well, I echo Jamie’s sentiments. [laughs]

Jamie: There you go. You’re fine, now, then. Now everyone will go, “Awww.”

Micah: [laughs] No, I do have some funny moments.

Andrew: Give us your number one, and then I’ve got a question for you.

Micah: Oh, boy. I’d say, and I don’t know if Andrew even remembers this, when we were at the second night of “Harry, Carrie, and Garp,” he must have been pretty tired, because he slept through pretty much the ending…

Andrew: Micah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Micah: …of Stephen King and John Irving..

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That would be unprofessional and I would not…

Jamie: It would be unprofessional.

Micah: …and I woke him up as JK Rowling was coming out…

Andrew: That is – okay…

Micah: …onto the stage.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Okay, yes. Granted, I slept through one of the things, but I do not remember you waking me up. I’m pretty sure I woke myself up. [laughs]

Micah: [laughs] You magically woke up?

Andrew: Yeah. What do you mean, magically?

Micah: Do you know how many times I tried prodding you to get awake? [laughs]

Jamie: Although…

Andrew: Really?

Jamie: I can add to that story, because…

Andrew: Because you slept through one, too! [laughs]

Jamie: Hey, Andrew, who introduced, who introduced Stephen – what was him name, King, on the first night?

Laura: Stephen King?

Andrew: Okay, well, the only reason I know this…

Laura: Well, I know.

Eric: It was Kathy Bates.

Jamie: [laughs] Answer the question, Andrew. Answer the question.

Andrew: No, it was Jon Stewart, but the only reason I know that…

Jamie: Okay…

Andrew: …is because I know where you’re going to go with that. I…

Jamie: Of course I am, of course I am. [laughs]

Andrew: I didn’t know as a fact, I didn’t know that as a fact, but go ahead. [laughs]

Jamie: Okay, what happened was, we were all sitting there, you know, pretty tired, you know, sort of slumped back a bit, waiting and they said, “And now, please welcome…” and then, introduced the name, you know, Jon Stewart, who’s going to welcome, you know, Stephen King on. Andrew jumped out of his chair, practically silently screamed.

Andrew: No, I didn’t!

Jamie: Okay, Andrew, you did! I saw you, okay. You didn’t have a mirror in front of you.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I can see you now, the – your eyes lit up like a child at Christmas, opening his…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …gift that he wishes…

Andrew: I thought it was cool. It was a nice surprise.

Jamie: It was more than cool. You thought it was, you thought it was synonymous with paradise.

Andrew: [laughs] No.

Jamie: That one moment that you were sitting there.

Laura: Hey, I’m all about that. Micah was sitting…

Micah: Wait, I’m confused.

Laura: …beside me when he came out, and I screamed and probably scared him.

Eric: There’s a historical inaccuracy.

Micah: Yeah.

Eric: Jon Stewart introduced JK Rowling, because he was talking about his child…

Andrew: Oh, yeah, he did.

Eric: …and how you should. I don’t know, about kicking the children or whatever.

Jamie: I’m sorry. Well, yeah, yeah.

Eric: Because JKR had attended The Daily Show the previous day.

Jamie: Ah, yes. Well, yeah. Andrew, yeah, couldn’t contain his excitement. I had to calm him down for ages afterwards.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh my god. It was just a chore. It was just a chore.

Andrew: Yeah, I just kept shaking and – terrible.

Jamie: Yeah. Sweating, vomiting, uncontrollable, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric’s Best Moment of 2006

Eric: Ugh. Well, my top moment was seeing Jon Stewart from row six. [laughs]

Laura: Okay.

Andrew: Via tickets you bought the day beforehand.

Eric: Via tickets an hour or two before. Now, I would’ve been perfectly fine with MuggleCast seats. I wanted a seat – I wanted to sit next to Kevin, Andrew, Jamie, Ben, all of them, but, you know, whatever. There just didn’t happen to be a ticket for me, so I had to go on my own, fend for myself, get my own ticket, and I ended up in, one row in front of Emerson and Melissa, sitting…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: …directly in front of JKR for the whole reading.

Andrew: Their reserved seating. Go figure.

Eric: The first night, so I don’t quite know how I got there, but Melissa put it best when she said, you know, “Someone up there must really like you.” So, that was my moment. I got to see JKR from…

Micah’s Live Podcast Experience

Andrew: Who else are we missing here?

Micah: You said you had a question, though, Andrew.

Andrew: I do have a question for you. You’ve done two – well, you introduced us for two of the live podcasts over the past year, or three, if you count the first podcast in New York City. What is it like, I’ve never asked you this, what is it like getting up in front of all those people, being the first one, to talk into the mic?

Micah: Ummm, I mean…

Andrew: Is it scary? I’d be scared.

Micah: I think there’s definitely a little bit of nervousness going into it, particularly in LA, because I didn’t think that I was going to be doing anything.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Five minutes beforehand, I’m like, “Hey, Micah, by the way…”

Micah: Then sort of had to put something together.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: I mean, it’s hard because you don’t know, do you want to stand up there and talk for a couple minutes, do you want to just introduce the people and get it started? I mean, because I’m sure the audience knows that we’re under time constraints in certain stores. So…

Andrew: Right.

Micah: …you know, we can’t just sit there and have me talk and not get you guys up there, but you know, I mean, I think it’s fun starting it off, and I think going into the future, if it’s cool to still do it, I think, you know, it’s expected that that’s what happens, and you know, it’s been a lot of fun doing that, and it kind of goes back to what Jamie said. You know, just meeting all those people and…

Jamie: Yeah, it’s cool.

Micah: …and meeting the fans of the show. It’s really cool to go out there and have them sort of cheering like they do, and you sort of look at them like, you know, “Why are you cheering for me? I’m just, you know, another fan.”

Eric: You do it so well, Micah, too.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Eric: You have this – you do it so well. I mean, you may be nervous or whatever, but you go out there and you’re like, “How’s everybody doing tonight?” You know? And they scream, okay, you’re just the shiznit.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: Because like watching – because technically I’m in – except for the Vegas panel, I’ve been in the audience some of the times, you know, watching, or even in Los Angeles, when I was the guy in the audience, talking to the people, it was great because I could get to watch you guys and watch you guys up on stage and see you guys develop. You know, not only did we develop the first year doing this, but, you know, the second year of doing this, we’ve developed even further, and developed, you know? Our ties with Leaky have become stronger and, you know, that’s really developed. We’ve done the whole Leaky Mug thing…

New Year’s Resolutions for 2006

Andrew: So, last year, as everyone should remember, we made New Year’s resolutions, and I have them queued up now because I want to see if we all did them. We’ll start with – Let’s see. We’ll start with me here.

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Andrew: My New Year’s resolution is to have, by the end of 2006, 100,000 MuggleCast subscribers.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Is that so much to ask? I don’t think so.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: I don’t know about that one.

Eric: There’s 6.5 billion people in the world, so…

Andrew: Well we’re almost there.

[Cuts back to Episode 70]

Andrew: I’m not going to lie; Didn’t get to 100,000 this year. I’ll be open about it. I didn’t make my New Year’s resolution. I can only blame that on the listeners.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Not myself. So in a way, I’m doing okay.

Laura: It was their New Year’s resolution…

Andrew: Exactly.

Laura: …which you assigned to them.

Andrew: I’ll tell you one thing I did change: I sounded congested in all these episodes I listened to, the older ones. I sounded like a…I’m ready to…it just sounds like I have the worst cold.

Laura: Really?

Andrew: Yeah!

Laura: I thought your voice had just changed.

Andrew: [In high pitched voice] Probably! [In deep voice] Do I sound like more of a radio professional now?

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Andrew: MuggleCast. Ummm, yeah, so mine didn’t work out completely. By the way, that’s my New Year’s resolution for 2007. Here’s Ben’s. It didn’t really work out for him either.

[Micah and Jamie laugh]

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Ben: Well first of all, is to stop eating so much Sonic.

Laura: [laughs] Awww!

Andrew: Why Ben?

Eric: Ben trying to cut back. Trying to cut back on that Sonic.

Ben: Because it’s not good for my heart. My second New Year’s resolution is to meet Emma Watson.

[Cuts back to Episode 70]

Andrew: Okay, well he did stop eating Sonic, and then he went to another fast food place with ‘S’. It’s called Subway [laughs], and did not meet Emma Watson, so that did not completely work out.

Laura: He saw her from a distance.

Andrew: He got close, yeah. Close but no cigar. Ah, let’s see, and then Kevin’s…

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Kevin: My New Year’s resolution is, uh, get rich and take over the world.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: We know that’s not going to happen.

Kevin: Or McDonald’s.

[Cuts back to Episode 70]

Andrew: [laughs] Well, Ben called it right there.

Jamie: Doesn’t everyone want to do that, though? It’s like saying, “I want to be happy.” Really? I thought you were actually hoping to be sad!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Then Eric came up with a very original New Year’s resolution.

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Eric: My New Year’s resolution is…

Ben: To stop talking.

[Everyone but Eric laughs]

Eric: No, but my New Year’s resolution is to get rich and take over the world first.

[Cuts back to Episode 70]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Eric, any comment?

Eric: Uhhh…

Andrew: Did you do that?

Eric: Well, since Kevin still didn’t, I am still able and technically capable fulfilling lat year’s New Year’s resolution.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, that’s very true.

Andrew: It’s very true, good point.

Eric: I’m going to make that mine for next year.

Andrew: Alright, then Laura? You sort of came through with yours.

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Laura: My only New Year’s resolution would be to write more.

Kevin: Write more?

Laura: Yeah, write more. I don’t write as much as I should.

Kevin: So you’re going to write a book?

Laura: I’ve been writing since I was a kid, so yeah.

Ben: So have I, actually.

Kevin: So she wants to publish. First one on MuggleCast.

Laura: Oh, yeah. I want to be a published author. Definitely. I do.

[Cuts back to Episode 70

Andrew: Laura, are you a published author now?

Laura: [Laughs] Sort of. I contributed to MuggleNet’s What will Happen in Harry Potter 7.

Andrew: Technically you are.

Eric: With Ben and Jamie.

Laura: Yeah, not really what I thought would happen, but…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Ben fulfilled Laura’s New Year’s resolutions pretty much.

Laura: Sort of.

Eric: And Jamie. Jamie and Ben.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: And lastly, Micah.

[Cuts to 2006 New Year’s Resolutions]

Micah: I would say to sweep out the transcript dungeon, there’s a lot of stuff that’s piled up down there.

[Cuts back to Episode 70

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: That was so cheesy!

Andrew: Micah, any comment on that one?

Micah: Who is that guy?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Who is that hottie?

Micah: No, joking aside, I mean I think that one of the great things we did do this past year was build a sort of transcript team.

Andrew: Mhm.

Micah: And not call them elves, because that’s pretty demeaning.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: So, now we call them slaves.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: No, no. I think it’s great the work that they’ve done…

Andrew: Absolutely.

Micah: …and they put a lot of hard work in each week, and I think they deserve to be recognized, too. So…

Andrew: Thank you, transcribers. Round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.

Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, the transcript dojo is…

Jamie: Yeah, with sensei Tannenbaum.

Eric: With sensei Tannenbaum.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: He beats them with bamboo sticks if they don’t get their segments in on time.

New Year’s Resolutions for 2007

Andrew: New Year’s resolutions this year. I’ve already said mine; 100,000 listeners by the end of the year. It probably will end up being 2008’s resolution. Uh, Laura?

Laura: Oh, I don’t know. Give me one. Give me a New Year’s resolution.

Andrew: Become a published author outside of a Harry Potter theory book.

Laura: Okay, sure.

Andrew: Cool.

Laura: That sounds good to me.

Andrew: Jamie, how about you? You didn’t do this last year.

Jamie: Um, God, I don’t know. I’m going to…

Eric: Think of a New Year’s resolution for 2008.

Jamie: Yeah. I’m going to start doing some proper university work. It’s boring, but you know, it’s true.

Andrew: Now are you really going to come through with that?

Jamie: No, yeah, definitely, yeah. These are you know, it’s the start of a brand new year. You know? Actually, no. I probably will for the first two weeks and then I’ll go back to my old habits.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Micah, are you going to stick with last New Year’s or what?

Micah: No, that’s pretty boring.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Micah: Maybe to be more professional during show recordings?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Because you’re not the most professional person on this show.

Laura: Oh, come on! That’s fun.

Andrew: Yeah, you probably are. I think you are.

Book Seven

Andrew: Now we hadn’t planned on a cover – not a cover, a title of Book Seven to be released, so we were going to talk about the possibility of Book Seven being released in 2007. If we did not get a title by the end of the year, I think it would have been fair to say we definitely wouldn’t see the book by 2007.

Jamie: So true.

Eric: Yeah, true.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Now that we are, like we said last week, we are sticking with that we’re probably going to see it in 2007, right?

Jamie: See what?

Andrew: The book.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I mean maybe. If it does come out in 2007, it would have to be the summer time.

Eric: I’m still hoping for the book in 2008, and I’m definitely not hoping for summer 2007, because they’ve ruined that date forever, the Warner Bros. people.

Andrew: And of course the big event in 2007 that’s sure to happen: Order of the Phoenix movie release, United States and United Kingdom premiere.

Jamie: Yep.

Andrew: Along with every other press event that’s bound to be occurring.

Jamie: Prophecy.

Micah: You know what’s interesting though? I’m just looking at this right now. I know how I mentioned on last week’s show that I thought it was going to be Halloween of 2007, but Laura brought up that that’s actually on a Wednesday, but you know what isn’t on a Wednesday, and is actually on a Friday is the Winter Solstice.

Andrew: Hmmm, so exactly a year later?

Micah: Yeah. I don’t know. Just throwing stuff out there.

Andrew: Right before Christmas, though, I don’t know.

Micah: Yeah, that’s true.

Andrew: Well we don’t have to get into this all again, but…

Micah: Well hey, that’s perfect for consumers.

Andrew: Yeah, no you’re right.

Micah: Kids will be off from school.

Andrew: You’re right but no kids – you’re right, yeah, but no kids…

Micah: It will be cold outside to do a podcast though.

Andrew: No kid will want to wait until Christmas, though, to get the book. So, it defeats the purpose of, you know, selling it for the holidays sort of. So, without a doubt the next seven months are going to be very busy at MuggleNet, and of course we’re looking forward to it. [laughs]

Prophecy 2007

Jamie: What about Prophecy?

Andrew: Oh, yeah, and then, of course, Prophecy.

Eric: Looking forward to that.

Laura: Are we even going?

Andrew: We’re not going to officially announce, but put it this way: they want us to come, and…

Eric: We want to be there kind of maybe?

Jamie: Yeah, we do.

Andrew: And they’re going to help us get there, so as for right now, yes, we’ll probably be there.

Laura: So should I be getting my passport?

Jamie: No, Laura. If you just tell them you’re going to a Harry Potter convention it will be fine. Yeah, you’re good.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, they’ll let you go.

Laura: [Laughs] Yeah, I’m sure they will.

Enlightening 2007

Andrew: And then, of course, Enlightening 2007, another convention that, at least, Jamie, Ben, and I are going to. We’re going to be holding a seminar on podcasting. It’s not going to be your typical seminar, trust me. It’s going to be a fun, two days – not a full two days; we’re going to be doing two sessions one day and two sessions the other day of podcasting, helping people learn how to do it. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m looking forward to that. Jamie, you too?

Jamie: Yeah, I think it will be awesome. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, so we’re going to be doing a lot of work of course.

Micah: And you’re doing a live show, right?

Andrew: Yeah, we’re doing a live podcast there, too, on the day of the movie’s US release, July 13th. So that will all be good stuff. And what else? Anything else coming up in 2007?

Micah: I think I’ll be there.

Andrew: Will you? Okay, Micah’s officially…

Micah: The night of the podcast. The night of the podcast.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: After that I have work. So…

Andrew: [Laughs] Okay.

Eric: That sucks.

Work Visit

Micah: Hey Andrew.

Andrew: What?

Micah: Speaking of work, I thought it was fun when you guys stopped by.

Andrew: Oh yeah! I really enjoyed that. We never really brought that up. There are some pictures on Facebook. Eric and I visited Micah’s office at the AFL. It’s wonderful. I got to sit at his desk and answer a few phone calls as you can see by one picture. There’s also photos of Eric and I in front of Micah’s name tag. That was very nice.

Eric: Absolutely.

Andrew: That too. So, yeah, that was very good.

Andrew’s Wizard Rock Single

Andrew: With that, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to cut to the variety part of our show. Of course, the big event that I’ve been hyping up so much – I’m going to let everyone’s hopes down – it’s the premiere of my first wizard rock single. I am so excited that I – no words can describe it. I’m about to play it for you all, and co-hosts, I want your reaction to it at the end, because you know, when you become an artist, and I talked to Bono about this and he agrees with me. When you become an artist, you become very proud of your work, so without further ado, I present to you my wizard rock single.

Wizard rock, what’s up with that stuff?
Andrew Sims here to show you the fluff
Podcasting Sundays, late afternoon
Talking Harry Potter like a wolf howling at the moon
Theories, discussion, more pickles, please!
Fans in the stands screaming on their knees
Our show got big, nobody thought it would
It was like the little train, the engine that could
Now please, here’s the main event
It’s my first single, so give me time to vent
People ‘round the world listen to our show
We got many segments so let’s give it a go

So I ask, who’s the best Potter podcast around?
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
We got to stop selling T-shirts, we’re gonna sell underground
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
It’s really pretty funny, the fans say we’re hot and smart
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
Look out, you other podcasts, we’re about to climb the chart!
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T

We will start with news each and every week
Micah Tan the anchorman, making all the girls shriek
With laughter, I mean, this guy is really funny
Don’t be buggin’ him, though, he’ll kill some purple bunnies
The announcements, hold up, let’s skip those
I’ll be the first to admit they should be disposed
Podcast Alley, vote once a month
There I said it once, now do it ‘til your life’s done
Let’s get to the part we call the main discussion
It’s catchy and intriguing, as is percussion
Sometimes we screw up on a fact or two
It’s true, the fans knew, they often make a breakthrough
Speaking of fans we have listener rebuttals
Sent in via e-mail faster than the space shuttle
We love feedback, it’s great to open and read
And now, let me ask you, are you ready to proceed?

So I ask, who’s the best Potter podcast around?
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
We got to stop selling T-shirts, huh, we’re gonna sell underground
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
It’s really pretty funny, the fans say we’re hot and smart
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
Look out, you other podcasts, we’re about to climb the chart!
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T

E-mail, send it off to us
The rebuttals, feedback, complaints come by the bus
Load, day after day
It makes my brain fry, so don’t expect a reply
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme a butterbeer
When Ben’s got an issue with Potter, you better stand clear
Christianity, Emma Watson, ugh, Laura Mallory
Give it a rest, it’s just a good story
I hate to speak its name, chapter-by-chapter
Going page by page analyzing what’s after
Each and every letter, nothing is missed
Sadly, though, it made the MuggleCast reject list
It’s the number fans call with a question, don’t make it tragic
Call right now, leave us a note
Don’t make it something boring or we’ll have your throat

So I ask, who’s the best Potter podcast around?
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
We got to stop selling T-shirts, huh, we’re gonna sell underground
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
It’s really pretty funny, the fans say we’re hot and smart
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
Look out, you other podcasts, we’re about to climb the chart!
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T
M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T

This concludes my very first single
Podcasting finally has a catchy jingle
Hopin’ this song puts wizard rock to a new level
I’m just prayin’ Harry and the Potters don’t wish me on the devil
Another year of MuggleCast just around the corner
We hope you’ll be there through every last mourner
Not to mention the final book to open and read
Watch out, you other podcasts, are you ready to proceed?

M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T

Andrew: What do you all think?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I thought it was good, Andrew. Is that you’re first one?

Andrew: Yeah, that’s my first one.

Jamie: Not a bad effort. Not a bad effort at all, in fact.

Andrew: Really?

Laura: Yeah, very…very…

Eric: It’s going to be the secret track…

Jamie: Entertaining.

Laura: …powerful.

Eric: It’s going to be the secret track on the new U2 album.

Andrew: Do you think I have a possible career as a future rapper?

Eric: No, I mean yes, yes. Absolutely.

Andrew: Eric.

Eric: Oh, oh, well, future rapper? You were going to call me about the whole Frappr rap.

Andrew: Well, who said we can’t do that still?

Laura: Don’t quit your day job.

Andrew: Write the song and then we’ll record it in New York.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed my single and please provide me
your feedback and I’ll probably be working on another one soon, maybe with Eric this time.

Variety Show

Andrew: That’s that, and now we’re going to move on to the variety portion of our show featuring a few MuggleCast remixes and three listener-created segments that we received back in March of 2006 when we held the “Create Your Own MuggleCast Segment” Contest and these are three other people that we haven’t aired yet. So, here’s how it’s going to work: we are going to go to two MuggleCast remixes, then to a listener-created segment, another two remixes, another listener-created segment, another two remixes, another listener-created segment, another two remixes, then we’ll be back with a MuggleCast year in review created with help by our transcribers. So, we’ll see everyone in a little bit.

Remix #1: Jamie

Jamie: This is Jamie Lawrence.

[Background music plays the Harry Potter theme]

Jamie: Is there? Oh my god!

Laura: It would make sense.

Jamie: Oh my god, that’s amazing! Oh my god!

Ben: Oh my gosh.

Jamie: Oh my god, Micah. That’s absolutely awesome!

Ben: Oh my god. Micah Tannenbaum has discovered the key to the Harry Potter…

Jamie: Micah, that’s absolutely awesome.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: Okay, one, two, three, go.

[Jamie recites the DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Eric: He is really doing that.

[Jamie continues]

Eric: He’s still going?

[Laura laughs]

[Jamie finishes]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

[Wedding march plays]

Jamie: I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now. I’m afraid I can’t get down on one knee, but…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Ben?

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: Ben Carla Schoen…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Carlo.

Jamie: Will you marry me?

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

[The title track of Chariots of Fire begins to play]

Jamie: He has dreams at night, he has dreams at night of like, running through a cornfield, and they’re chasing each other, and their arms are out.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Oh, come on.

Jamie: And you can hear, like, Chariots of Fire going. [starts humming
“Chariots of Fire”]

Ben: Okay, enough embarrassing me.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [sings] Truly, madly, deeply do…

Andrew: Stop it.

[Laura laughs]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

[Jamie singing incomprehensibly]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [singing Cascada’s Every Time We Touch] I can’t let you go, want you in my life.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [singing Queen’s Who Wants To Live Forever?] Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: [sings] Who wants to live forever? Oh. Who dares to love
forever? Oh!

[Everyone laughs]

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [speaking lyrics to a mix of Manfred Mann’s Do Wah Diddy and Lee Greenford’s I’m Proud To Be An American] There she was just a walking down the strip singing God Bless the USA.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [singing I’m Proud To Be An American loudly] New York to LA. Well, there’s pride in every American heart and it’s time to stand and say I’m proud to be an American…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] Where at least I know I’m free…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] And I won’t forget the men who died who
gave that right to me…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [continues singing] And I’d gladly stand up next to you…

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: [sings intermittently] And we’re proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free and I won’t forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, because there ain’t no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA!

[Music changes]

Jamie: [speaking the lyrics of Every Time We Touch] Every time we touch,
I feel the static. Every time we kiss, I reach for the sky. Can’t you hear my heartbeat so, I can’t let you go. I want you in my life.

So, uh, that’s very nice.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence. Goodbye.

[Harry Potter Theme music continues]

Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #1: Maddie and Gloria

Maddie: Hey, everyone, welcome to this week’s MuggleCast GuestCast, and I’m
Maddie Nelson.

Gloria: And I’m Gloria Mendoza.

Maddie: And we’re coming to you live from Maddie’s bedroom. Gloria, how’s the news?

Gloria: Well, according to some very reliable sources [intentionally coughs] The Quibbler [coughs], Voldemort has finally found love, and he is in love with Rita Skeeter. According to The Quibbler, they are currently living together with their 777 children, and Rita Skeeter has a 778th child on the way.

Maddie: That’s gross. Voldemort and Rita Skeeter. Man, Voldemort shouldn’t fall in love with Rita Skeeter because he’s – he’s mine. [Short pause]

Gloria: L.O.L. It’s great how you didn’t laugh.

Maddie: [laughs]

Gloria: [sarcastically] Laughs.

Gloria: Well, if you don’t believe me, ask him yourself. Hey, Voldemort, come here!

Gloria: [impersonating Voldemort with a deep voice] Huh?

Gloria: I said, come here!

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Huh?

Gloria: Get over here.

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Okay.

Gloria: Hey, Voldemort, will you tell Maddie here about your life with Rita Skeeter?

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Well, it all started on the Internet. I met her there, and we got off to a great start. I never ever told her I was evil, because, you know, I am an evil guy who likes to kill people and stuff. And well, actually, now I’m an evil guy who likes to kill people and stuff, but I’m in love, so it makes it all better and it’s okay. But, we got married and had 70 children and by that time, I was pretty committed. Now, we’re on out 778th child and my goal is to have 7,007,777 children and take over the world.

Gloria: With love.

Maddie: Voldemort, Voldemort, how is it that you have so many freaking children?

Gloria: [as Voldemort] Well, since we’re both kind of snakes, every month, she just, you know, drops a litter of eggs. Yeah, and then they hatch and, you know, we eat the girls because we just want guys to start an army of love.

Maddie: Okay, then.

Gloria: Yeah, he Disapparated. Well, what an interview.

Maddie: [laughs] Yeah, that was – that was great. By the way, I think we should just make it really clear that that was totally a joke for anyone that could possibly have taken that seriously.

Gloria: Yeah, it was a joke. They would never fall in love because it’s kind of gross, and yeah.

Maddie: It’s really gross because it’s Rita Skeeter and I’m pretty sure she’s not a snake, [laughs] so she wouldn’t lay eggs. But there’s, like, there’s fan-fictions of Voldemort and Ginny, so we’re just making fun of it. We’re joking.

Gloria: And now, let’s bring out our second special guest: Harry Potter, everyone!

[Applause and cheering]

Gloria: I want to have your babies!

Maddie: [impersonating Harry Potter with a deep voice] Hey, hey, girls. Hey, what’s up? I’m Harry Potter. Oh, sorry, I’m just so bloody good-looking sometimes, I can’t help myself. What was your question?

Gloria: I haven’t asked you a question, yet, Harry.

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh, well, then, you’d better ask.

Gloria: Well, what’s your relationship with Voldemort?

Maddie: [as Harry] Sorry, I wasn’t listening. I was – I’m just looking at myself in that mirror over there. What was that? Sorry.

Gloria: What is your relationship with Voldemort?

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh, I love Ginny! I love Ginny. She is so cute.

Gloria: No, your relationship with Voldemort.

Maddie: [as Harry] Oh! Oh, him. Yeah, he’s – no, I would never date him. Ewww.

Gloria: No, I mean, what are your emotions toward him? Do you hate him or do you love him or what?

Maddie: [as Harry] The guy’s hideous. No one loves him. Except for that crazy girl who hosts this show. Maddie Nelson? What the hell? I mean, what the bloody hell? [laughs] I’m good-looking. The end.

Gloria: So, do you think Voldemort would have turned out to be a good person if he would have been raised with more love?

Maddie: [as Harry] You know, I was raised with, like, these Dursley people, and they never loved me, so I don’t know what his problem is. I think he just – I think he’s just bitter because he’s so ugly.

Gloria: Well, do you think because of his bitterness, he resembles Hitler or the KKK in any way?

Maddie: [as Harry] What are you talking about?

Gloria: You know? In history, JK Rowling wrote your book. You wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her.

Maddie: [as Harry] What book? I totally exist. Look at that mirror over there. Don’t you see me? I’m beautiful!

Gloria: I’m sorry, you’re just a figment of our imaginations.

Maddie: [as Harry] I’m so real! Like, I’ll prove it to you. Hey, hey, fangirls. Who wants to touch me?


Maddie: [as Harry] Yeah, I’ll call you later, baby. So, what’s up?

Gloria: Okay, Harry.

Maddie: [as Harry] Yeah, peace. And love, you know, because that’s my secret weapon against Voldemort. Oh, fangirls! I love you so much.

[Cheering continues]

Maddie: Well, that was our show. I hope you guys enjoyed it. And once again, I’m Maddie Nelson.

Gloria: And I’m Gloria Mendoza.

Maddie: Wow, Gloria, you know, I sure feel naked without a new MuggleCast t-shirt.

Gloria: Yeah, so do I!

Maddie: Somebody should give us a free MuggleCast t-shirt!

Gloria: Yeah! You know, it would be great to have a brand-new t-shirt for free.

Maddie: From MuggleCast. Yeah, you guys really should seriously consider it.

Gloria: Yeah, or someone should consider it. Yeah.

Maddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gloria: That’s it.

Maddie: I’ll give you my shipping address if you’d like.

Gloria: Yep.

Remix #2: Andrew’s Rap

[Background music begins]

Eric: I wonder what the outtakes are going to be like.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: It’s going to be an awesome new single.

[Music plays]

Andrew: [repeats MySpace continually] It’s going to be promoting all of our outlets – our community outlets.

[Music continues]

Andrew: I like it, I like it.

[Music continues]

Eric: I wonder what the outtakes are going to be like.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: It’s going to be an awesome new single.

[Music continues]

Andrew: MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Frappr, Last.FM! Fanlisting Forums. MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Frappr, Last.FM! Fanlisting Forums.

Eric: It’s a Frappr Map!

[Repeats continually between the rap, Andrew repeating “MySpace” and “I like it, I like it. Promoting all of our outlets – our community outlets. Become our friends.”]

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Andrew: It’s going to be an awesome new single.

Remix #3: 12 Days of MuggleCast

On the first day of MuggleCast,
Andrew gave to me
A new show intro catchphrase.

On the second day of MuggleCast,
Jamie gave to me
Two British jokes

And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the third day of MuggleCast,
Eric gave to me
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the fourth day of MuggleCast,
Micah gave to me
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the fifth day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo
Three crackpot theories
Two British jokes
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the sixth day of MuggleCast,
Kevin gave to me
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the seventh day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the eighth day of MuggleCast,
Laura gave to me
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the ninth day of MuggleCast,
Ben gave to me
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the tenth day of MuggleCast,
Andrew gave to me
Ten more new segments
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the eleventh day of MuggleCast,
Eric gave to me
Eleven hours of talking,
Ten more new segments,
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

On the twelfth day of MuggleCast,
The hosts gave to me,
Twelve months’ worth of humor,
Eleven hours of talking,
Ten more new segments,
Nine recording locations,
Eight rants against Laura Mallory,
Seven Horcruxes,
Six head-spinning theories,
Five brand new shows!
Four updates from Jo,
Three crackpot theories,
Two British jokes,
And a new show intro catchphrase.

Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #2: Fantasy Casting

Leah: This is Fantasy Casting, which is your fake MuggleCast segment. I’m Leah Bartels.

Amanda: I’m Amanda Braun.

Kabir: I’m Kabir Jokaru.

Erin: And I’m Erin Holswade.

Leah: The rules of fantasy casting are – well, basically, in the movies, you have to be British, and you obviously have to be the correct age. We’re getting rid of those requirements. Doesn’t matter if you’re American, or if you’re African. We don’t care. Doesn’t matter if you want to cast a young Fred Astaire as Harry Potter. You can do that. You can do pretty much anything you want on Fantasy Casting.

Erin: Old, young, or dead!

[Leah laugh]

Kabir: My personal favorite…

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: We love to bring people back from the dead. All right. So, first of all, those are the people that I really don’t want to ever get rid of, and that would definitely be Maggie Smith, who plays McGonagall.

Amanda: Oh yes. Right.

Leah: And I also wouldn’t want to get rid of Robbie Coltraine as Hagrid. All right, so, let’s move on to actually casting people. A lot of people don’t like the way that Michael Gambon has been playing Dumbledore.

Amanda: I wonder why.

[Leah laughs]

Amanda: I’d kind of like to bring Richard Harris back from the dead. I mean…

Leah: If we had to choose an old white guy, either bring Richard Harris back from the dead, which we can do on Fantasy Casting.

Erin: Because, you know, we’re magical like that.

Amanda: We got powers.

Leah: Or I’d say we could cast Peter O’Toole, who played King Priam in Troy.

Erin: I have a nomination – Morgan Freeman. I’ve got to say, despite the fact that he’s black, he just has that wisdom and that sort of quiet grace.

Amanda: The aura.

Kabir: Well, now that I think about it – sorry, but, now that I think about it, I know another good role for Dumbledore. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Leah: [laughs] No!

Erin: No!

Amanda: No!

Kabir: Well, do you want to know why?

Amanda: Why do don’t we get him as Fenrir Greyback? [laughs]

[Erin laughs]

Leah: Why? Why?

Kabir: Want to know why? Because, no offense or anything, but the current Dumbledore sucks.

Erin: We all know that.

Amanda: No, Michael Gambon – we’ve gone through that.

Kabir: To prove the fact that somebody like Arnold…

Amanda: Schwarzenegger. [laughs]

Kabir: …could do a better job than him.

Amanda: Yes. Yes. That would be…

Erin: Okay.

Leah: You know, he would make a really funny Karkaroff.

Amanda: Yeah, he would make a very fine Karkaroff. [laughs]

Erin: [laughs] You will be terminated!

Leah: Who would we get to play Ginny Weasley?

Amanda: Ginny Weasley.

Leah: Young Nicole Kidman.

Kabir: Paris Hilton.

Leah: No!

Amanda: No!

Erin: No!

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: I’m kind of torn between Amber Tamblyn, who played the part of Joan in Joan of Arcadia and Alexis Bledel, who plays Rory on Gilmore Girls.

Erin: I’d personally go with Amber Tamblyn. She just suits the character better, in my own opinion.

Leah: Yeah, she – it’s kind of her normal teenage angsty side, you know? Like “Nobody likes me,” and “Oh my god, my boyfriend’s an idiot.”

Erin: She played that really well.

Leah: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Amanda: In, like, interviews I’ve read, she’s a really down-to-earth person, so I think she can incorporate that really well into characters. I mean…

Leah: Yeah, on the other side, Alexis Bledel plays a sort of intelligence side. Of course, I’m totally banking on how she plays Rory.

Amanda: I’d have to say, I – it’s a little too sweet.

Leah: Yeah.

Amanda: I think Ginny’s got a little more spite…

Erin: Attitude?

Amanda: … in her.

Leah: Yeah. All right. And, speaking of Gilmore Girls, Milo Ventimiglia, who played Jess during the first few seasons.

Erin: Mm.

Amanda: Complete bad boy.

Leah: He would make the perfect…

Amanda: James.

Leah: …Young James Potter.

Amanda: Ever.

Leah: Exactly. And his hair defies gravity. Both of them. Who can we think of for Hermione Granger?

Amanda: I personally liked the girl who played Trillian, maybe?

Leah: Zooey Deschanel…

Amanda: Yes.

Leah: …Who played Trillian in the movie to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. She’s definitely really quirky.

Amanda: And I think that describes Hermione really well.

Erin: Yeah.

Leah: And it would be hilarious to see her send canaries after…

[Everyone laughs]

Amanda: Yeah. You know what…

Leah: He deserved it.

Amanda: He did. And you know what?

Erin: He did deserve it.

Amanda: She’s allowed a freak-out. Everybody’s allowed to freak out about something. It was about time he noticed she…

Erin: She’s a girl! Harry does it at least once a book!

Amanda: Of course.

Leah: Ginny pulled a wand on her brother.

Amanda: Yeah.

Kabir: Well, who doesn’t these days?

Leah: Poor Ron. Actually, while we’re on the subject of Ron, does anybody – I mean, I like Rupert Grint…

Amanda: He’s not…

Erin: But I can’t think of anyone else to put in place of him.

Amanda: I – yeah, I couldn’t think of anyone else.

Kabir: Ron is like one of those characters where you can’t really replace them. The actor – he’s just too much into the role. There’s nobody better for that role.

Amanda: Well, that’s…

Leah: That we can think of. [laughs]

Amanda: That’s the thing. I mean the thing about replacing people halfway. Michael Gambon is a very, very good show of what happens when you replace an actor mid-series of a movie. I mean…

Erin: Uh huh.

Leah: Well, if they had replaced him with somebody more fitting for the role, like say, Peter O’Toole, then it wouldn’t have been so jarring, but the thing is, he and Richard Harris had two completely different takes on what the character of Dumbledore…

Amanda: Exactly.

Leah: …was all about. But, in fact…

Amanda: I mean, he hasn’t even read the books!

Leah: Exactly! He doesn’t even know what a take on the character should be.

Amanda: Exactly.

Leah: Yeah, I would not replace the Phelps twins.

Erin: Yeah, no way. The characters…

Amanda: The Phelps twins are not getting replaced. They are far too funny. They work wonderfully together. They can’t be replaced.

Leah: Yeah. They just play the roles so perfectly.

Amanda: I was watching Goblet of Fire and just sitting there during the scene where…

Leah: Where they were putting their…

Amanda: …they have the age potion!

Erin: Yeah.

Leah: Yeah, and they were putting their names in the goblet.

Amanda: I, I was just geeking out because it was perfect!

Leah: And, you know, they’re really – their interaction with Emma Watson when she…

Amanda: Yeah.

Leah: …and she just, like…

Amanda: “It’s not going to wooork!”

Leah: …and they had the fight, and I was thinking, “You probably just read the script this morning, didn’t you? Good on you!” Because, you know, she had it memorized and could use all the big words. Good job, Emma Watson. We won’t replace you, after all. [laughs]

[Erin laughs]

Amanda: [laughs] When she said that she would hunt down the person that she…

[Everyone laughs]

Leah: Yeah, and actually, in an interview, she did say that if she was replaced, she would hunt down the new girl because she didn’t want to be replaced. [laughs]

Amanda: [laughs] Awww.

Leah: Well, it’s nice that she’s so touched and also, a little bit homicidal.

Amanda: Oh yeah, a little scary, but…

Leah: A little scary.

Kabir: How sweet.

Erin: Not!

Amanda: But you know?

[Leah laughs]

Amanda: But you know what? That says that she’s really devoted to the character, so…

Leah: And that, and that…

Amanda: …we’ve got to give her props for that. Props for…

Leah: All right, can we think of any other sort of…

Amanda: Well, do Snape. Let’s just talk about…

Leah: All right, Alan Rickman plays a phenomenal Snape, but that’s so not how I imagined him in the books.

Erin: Same.

Amanda: Did anybody imagine Alan Rickman’s portrayal?

Erin: No.

Kabir: No.

Amanda: The thing is, though, it works so well.

Leah: It’s completely original. Like, you think of Snape in the books and he’s like this total slimy, evil…

Erin: Yeah, like…

Leah: …nasty ball of hair-grease. But in the movies, he’s just…

Amanda: It’s like elegance. In the movie…

Leah: Ugh. Okay, Alan Rickman makes Snape cool. He is just so not what I imagined, but he’s really perfect. But if I had to pick a Snape that would be my Snape, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Amanda: Yeah, I think Alan Rickman is just it.

Erin: I just want to shamelessly plug… you know, I made a GeoCities account. I e-mailed it to Eric and yeah. It’s a GeoCities Yeah, it is his very own fansite. Thanks!

Leah: We love you, Spielerman. All right, well, that was your edition of Fantasy Casting. We’re going to bring it back to your favorite MuggleCasters, because we know we’re just a sad replacement.

Kabir: Good night, everybody.

[Leah laughs]

Erin: Adios.

Remix #4: Love

[Background music begins]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music plays]

Laura: How would you contain something like love behind a door?

[Music break]

Laura: People can’t even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it?

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music break]

Eric: You contain things so that you can study them.

[Music break]

Eric: You trap an insect – a lightning bug – to see what it does.

[Music break]

Eric: It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Eric: It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Eric: It’s true about everybody. It’s true about everybody.

[Music break]

Eric: You trap an insect – a lightening bug – to see what it does. It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.


[Music break]

Eric: It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have.

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love.

[Music break]

Laura: Anytime in any of your lives that you have ever been attracted to somebody, did you just look at that person and say, “I think I want to be attracted to this person”? No, it just happens.

[Music break]

Laura: It just happens.

[Music break]

Laura: It just happens. The power of love. You can’t control it. It just happens. The power of love. You can’t…just…capture that. You can’t just say, “I have this,” because you have no control over it. It’s the same way with love. It’s the same way with love.

[Music break]

Eric: It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. It’s true about everybody.

[Music break]

Laura: People can’t even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it? You can’t control it. It just happens. The power of love. The power of love. You can’t control it.

[Music break]

Laura: How would a room contain the power of love?

[Music break]

Laura: The power of love. The power of love.

[Remix ends]

Remix #5: All You Need Is Love

Laura: That’s neat.

Andrew: It does sound like we don’t like each other.

[All You Need is Love starts to play in background]

Ben: Speaking of B.S., let’s go to Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s news!

Andrew: Well, what you guys don’t actually know is Kevin’s actually a girl.

Kevin: Also, we have to remind you to not vote for The Leaky Cauldron.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: You know, their podcast is horrible.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Kevin: They shouldn’t be on the air, so don’t even vote for them, please.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Oh, and I would also like to clear something up: We don’t…hate…Ben.

Emerson: Well, his mom is his sister, and his dad is his brother.

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: Ben knows all about that being from Kansas.

Ben: Okay, Micah, go to the dungeon! You’re outta here!

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: You go to the dungeon, Baine.

Ben: Get out of my sight! Get out of my sight!

Eric: Andrew has totally got this – this Jersey-hooker-red-light-district-type attitude.

Andrew: Don’t forget, MuggleCast T-shirts. I wear them to school, and I actually get noticed for once.

Kevin: Yeah, when the apples hit your head.

Laura: I was going to say that they pick their least favorite person on a podcast, and they throw them through.

Ben: Well, bye, Laura!

Laura: No, I was actually thinking to pick you, Ben.

Ben: Bye, Eric!

Andrew: Well, here, let me ask you guys something: What is the number one request that we get right now?

Ben: Less Eric Scull?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Every time you vote for PotterCast, God kills a kitten.

Andrew: We still love each other.

[Remix ends]

Listener Created MuggleCast Segment #3: Wizard Words

[Classical music in background]

James Brown: Hello there! I’m James Brown, and welcome to the wonderful world of wizard words, the etymology of Harry Potter. I’ll be your host, and I just want to say, I’ve been a MuggleCast fan since December of 2005. The idea behind this segment is to give you some insight on some of the words, names, terminology that’s used in the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling. I look to talk about character names, locations, incantations for spells – that kind of thing. Just some background about myself: I am a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana; a graduate of philosophy and chemistry from the University of Oklahoma; and etymology is a hobby of mine. My favorite words are onomatopoeia and specificity. Also, for pronunciation sake, I am using the audio books as read by Jim Dale as a guide to the American versions. And one more note: Whenever I have been sorted either online or in toy stores with the hats, I have always been put into Slytherin. But don’t hold it against me.

James: Let’s start. Let’s start with the Unforgivable Curses, why not? We will start with the Imperius Curse, which is from the Latin root imperium, which means, “command,” or “supreme power.” And imperio, which is the incantation, means, “order, govern, command.” So, along those lines. Pretty much it’s something where you take charge of somebody, and you tell them what to do, which is exactly what the curse does. The spell causes the victim to be completely under the command of the caster.

James: The next curse I want to talk about is the Cruciatus Curse, the incantation being Crucio, both of which are from the Latin, cruciatus, which means, “torture.” You may recognize some English words that we have seen, such as “crucify,” and, “excruciating,” all come from the same root, all about torment and torture. So, that will tell you what that spell does. It causes the victim to suffer almost intolerable pain. Some victims of prolonged use of the curse have been driven insane. I didn’t mean to rhyme there.

James: And, of course, there’s the third Unforgivable Curse, the Killing Curse. As the incantation will tell you, Avada Kedavra. A lot of people think it’s just abracadabra with the word, “kedavra,” thrown in there, cadaver being the medical term for dead bodies that medical students use to study. But abracadabra itself is just a kabalistic charm in Judaic mythology that is supposed to bring healing powers. One if its sources is supposed to be from the Aramaic abhadda kedhabhra. Another is the Phoenician alphabet, “Ah-Brah-Cah-Dabrah,” which is essentially, if you were saying that in English, it would just be A – B – C – D, which is ironic, because the word, “alphabet,” comes from the Greek doing the same thing, alpha, beta, gamma, delta – alphabeta. But, that’s not the point. I digress. It’s from the Aramaic, mainly adada k’davra, which literally means, “let the thing be destroyed.” And that’s exactly what it does. It causes instant death in a flash of green light, usually leaving no sign of physical damage or the cause of death, though, would be [un]detectable by any kind of Muggle autopsy. And, of course, that’s what Voldemort used on the Potters, among others.

James: Well, enough about spells for this one. Let’s talk about some names. Mainly the Black brothers. The first thing that struck me, being an Astronomy student at one point in my life, was that Sirius is also the name of the Dog Star. It is the brightest star in Canis Major, the great dog constellation. Sirius, the word itself, is from the Greek. It means, “burning.” So, there’s a lot of dog elements so far, but I’ll tell you something else. According to the HP Lexicon, another one of Sirius’s names, Padfoot, which refers to his Animagus form – it is also the name of the residents of central and northern England have for magical black dogs of their legend. Usually, padfoots guard churchyards or certain roads and are said to roam the countryside at night. They tend to be larger than ordinary dogs, can vanish instantly or fade away slowly while standing still. Hmmm, reminds me of a scene in Prisoner of Azkaban – yet can run extremely quickly, typically described as having huge and blazing eyes. They tend to be silent. Because of their association with graveyards, scholars once believed the black dog form was the preferred form of the devil and are usually considered an omen of death and are thus called, “The Grim,” as Professor Trelawney could tell you.

James: Now, let’s talk about Regulus for a second, Regulus Black. His first name means, “the little king,” in Latin, like regal, regent, those royal names all come from the same root. But Regulus is a star in the constellation Leo. And Leo, of course, is Harry Potter’s sign, him being born July 31st. But I was wondering, I managed to see on one or two sites saying that his name might be – his middle name might be Alphard, A – L – P – H – A – R – D, and if that is so, it’s interesting, because it’s the name of a star that’s not very far from Regulus in the constellation Hydra, and the Arabic name – the Arabic translation of that name, Alphard, is, “the solitary one,” which could be quite fitting for Regulus, as he has neither been part of the Order of the Phoenix and, apparently, he has abandoned his Death Eater compatriots, if he was ever really truly one. So, it’s interesting that that would be “the solitary one,” because Regulus is the solitary one.

James: Well, that’s pretty much all I wanted to say for this time out. Information for this podcast segment has been gathered from numerous sources, including but not limited to the HP Lexicon, the MuggleNet Encyclopedia, Wikipedia,, and the Astronomy Page of the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign. I would especially like to thank the HP Lexicon, who has given me permission to use their site as a resource. I didn’t realize how extensive a resource it is until I actually started preparing for the podcast, so, thank you to them. Anyway, remember: Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur. Thank you. I’m James Brown.

[Musical Intermission: Piano, percussion, electronic mix]

Remix #6: Making Noises

Andrew: It’s time now for another installment of the Crackpot Theory of the Week. We’ve gotten lots of…

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[Techno music begins playing in background]

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Andrew: I like that music.

Jamie: [echoes] A kind of flavor.

Andrew: I like that music.

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[Music stops]

Andrew: [To the tune of the theme from the Harry Potter movies] Nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar! Nar nar nar nar nar nar. HUH!?

[Techno plays in background again]

Jamie: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. A kind of flavor, flavor, flavor. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That’s loud, this one.

Andrew: Ummm, I guess that’s it.

Jamie: Go, go, go, go.

[Remix ends]

Highlights from 2006

[Musical beat plays in background]

Andrew: It’s a New Year’s special of Ben’s Top Ten Lists.

Ben: Thanks, Andrew. This week’s list is Snape’s Top Ten New Years Resolutions. Number ten, get over those childhood grudges. Number nine, find a girlfriend. Number eight, wash his hair.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Number seven, decide on his true affiliation. Number six, get a nose job.

Andrew: Oh!

Ben: Number five, use Clearasil for his greasy face. Number four, kiss and make-up with Harry. Number three, Eric. [laughs] Number two…

Andrew: What?

Eric: What? [laughs]

Ben: …put a flower on Dumbledore’s grave. And the number one – Snape’s number one New Year’s Resolution is to get a tan.

Andrew: But there was a lot of scams, too, that happened.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Kevin Steck tried to steal a copy from his local Wal-Mart.

Kevin: I did.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh, Kevin that was terrible. He got arrested.

Eric: Then, he realized he could get the book online anyway.

Kevin: I was successful. I typed three of the chapters and put them online. I mean…

Andrew: [laughs] I did have one and stuck it on eBay. Would eBay automatically just assume it’s fake? Like, how do they know it’s real?

Ben: Yeah, there’s no way to make sure…

Kevin: In order to get it truly authenticized, I guess you would call it.

Ben: Authenticated?

Kevin: Authenticated, thank you. You’re cutting that out.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [whispers] Authenticized.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Yes, you are.

Laura: No, no, no, no.

Ben: Because, okay, with anything in the Harry Potter books, anytime someone finds something that maybe is a coincidence, just like on…

Laura: Mark Evans.

Ben: Like, you know, when JK Rowling announced the title last year around Christmas, people tried to find some way to add up the amount of Christmas trees – like the presents underneath the tree, the amount of ornaments on the tree, divided by seven, because that’s a magical number…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …add four to that just because there’s four branches on the top of the tree, divided by five because there is a five-point star at the top, and that gives you 71605…04…05…yeah.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: And MuggleCast staffer – MuggleNet staffer K’lyssa did that.

Ben: Yeah. And I thought, that is absolutely absurd.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: You’re trying to twist things to make it fit what you want.

Eric: No, but I…

Ben: It’s ridiculous.

Kevin: But this isn’t such a large…

Ben: Actually…

Eric: No, Ben…

Ben: Actually, it…

Kevin: This isn’t such a large twist, it’s…

Ben: Okay.

Eric: This is actually pretty good. This is…

Ben: Okay, this reminds me of English class where the teacher tries to make everything symbolize something.

Eric: That’s because everything…

Ben: It all doesn’t have to symbolize something. The amount of time my router light blinks in the next minute doesn’t have to symbolize something. It being backwards does not have to symbolize anything. It does not have to be a coincidence.

Eric: But, Ben…

Ben: That is exactly what it is. It is just a coincidence. No, it is not…

Micah: The names themselves…

Andrew: Ben, you’ve got to slow down.

Laura: Ben.

Kevin: Calm down.

Laura: Ben, chill.

Kevin: You’re becoming Eric. You’re becoming your worst enemy.

Laura: Okay, I think we’re pretty much…

Kevin: Killed that.

Laura: I think we’ve Avada Kedavra-ed that…

Kevin: We killed it.

Laura: …basically.

Andrew: We’ve Avada Kedavra[laughs]

Laura: It’s been AKed.

Andrew: Okay, I think we covered that pretty well. In conclusion, Dumbledore is not dead.

Kevin: He is dead.

Andrew: So… [laughs]


Andrew: And the discussion will go on forever.

Andrew: So, it makes sense that they would bury it. I don’t know what else they would do with it. It’s not like we’ve ever seen a shrine, so to speak, of all the wines of dead [laughs] – wands of dead wizards. Sorry, got wine on the mind. [laughs]

Laura: I wonder why.

Laura: See, the prophecy just needs to be like, “Harry, just do it.” [laughs] “Stop depending on the people around you.”

Kevin: Just do it. Okay, let’s plug Nike.

[Laura and Micah laughs]

Andrew: Put on your Nike shoes and just do it.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: I actually didn’t mean that, but that’s okay.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Yep, my Mom’s friend Bert, who actually listens to the show, which is really, really cool, suggested that we do…

Kevin: Hello, Bert!

Laura: [laughs] Suggested that we do…

Andrew: Hello, Ernie!

Laura: …a 16- year old…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [sings] Rubber ducky…

Laura: Alright.

Andrew: [laughs] Sorry.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Oh, I just bumped my head into the ending of the show. It hurt. So, I think that…

Kevin: Oh, that was clever.

Andrew: That just… [laughs] I moved on and I hit the end. [laughs] So, what else? Okay.

[Laura makes screeching noise]

Micah: What was that?

Laura: Sorry, I was stretching. [laughs]

Kevin: And a dinosaur has now invaded our conversation.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: All right, let’s all just take a stretch and then…

Laura: Of course.

Ben: Yeah, because, you notice at the beginning of Sorcerer’s Stone, McGonagall says, “Would you trust Hagrid with such – why would you trust Hagrid with such a thing,” and then Dumbledore says, [imitating Dumbledore] “Professor McGonagall, I would trust Hagrid with my life.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Actually, I heard Voldemort – he strolls downtown London and picks up chicks on his motorcycle.

[Andrew and Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, that’s where it went?

Micah: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah. Okay, what about Hagrid’s parents? We already discussed how his father was a wizard and his mom was a giant. I mean, the conception of Hagrid must not have been pretty.

[Andrew, Laura and Micah laughs]

Ben: [in his Hagrid voice] Rubeus Hagrid.

Andrew: I love that voice

Ben: [in his Hagrid voice] Keeper of keys.

Andrew: Yeah, it really is perfect.

Eric: You know, why do they have to die to prove anything? What does that prove besides drama happens in real life? You know, it’s a fantasy story. I don’t think…

Ben: Actually, I heard that Jo wrote it in there to make you mad.

Andrew: She wrote it in there so the kids…

John: “I’ll get that Scull.”

Ben: [in a British accent] I can’t think! Your hands are all sweaty!

[John laughs]

[Ben and Eric sing It’s My Life]

Micah: Well, somehow I’ll get my hands on it. I mean, I got the Dumbledore’s Toast, I got the Ford Anglia, so…

Laura: Yeah!

Micah: …it’s only a matter of time before…

Eric: Yeah, you’ve got contacts.

Andrew: Yeah, what’s sad is that you’re not joking. That’s the sad part.

Micah: I know.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I did spend a lot of money on that toast.

Andrew: Nah, I was going to say gullible. He’s, you know, “Oooh, silver hand!” and he goes off to play with it.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: In a not weird way.

Eric: No, no, we weren’t thinking of it in a weird way, it’s just a cute think to say.

Andrew: Actually, I would have to agree with that because…

Laura: What happened to defending your character?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Well, because I – see? This is the thing, you don’t know who you’re going to put them up against.

Micah: He wasn’t ready for the “Dobster.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I wasn’t.

Ben: Let’s talk about ‘shipping. What is ‘shipping? I’m like Dr. Phil. I’m like the Dr. Phil of ‘shipping.

Laura: ‘Shipping is… Oh my god.

Ben: [in his Dr. Phil voice] Well, you know what I’m going to say here. I think shipping – it is very, very important…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …to the Harry Potter series.

Andrew: ‘Shipping is very important to a lot of people of the Harry Potter series.

Dylan: I don’t – Peter would probably run from a fight though. [in squeaky British accent] “Ah, master save me.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Well, if the Dueling Club stipulations say that a character can run away, then yeah, Pettigrew would win.

Dylan: Well, I guess he could crush it with his silver hand or something like that.

Andrew: Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages. You have not laughed until you’ve heard the “Micah Tannenbaum laugh.”

[Recording of Micah laughing]

Kevin: Hello?

Andrew: It’s right over there around the…

Eric: [high pitch girly voice] You guys want some cookies?

Kevin: Oh, my god. Close the door!

Andrew: Oh, my god. It’s a Girl Scout! Ah, ah no, it’s a Girl Scout…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: …they’re selling cookies again. Wait, that’s Eric Skull in a Girl Scout uniform. Eric, shouldn’t you be recording the show rather than selling Girl Scout cookies?

Eric: I just thought I’d help out in the community. You know? Doing my part Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, right. Well.

Eric: Doing my part by wearing a skirt.

Ben: Everyone. Everyone, everyone needs to buy a MuggleCast T-shirt. So…

Andrew: Ben, why would everyone need to buy a MuggleCast T-shirt?

Ben: Well, for several reasons, Andrew. It helps support the show, and they are so fashionable that I bought 12 of them last week.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: I mean, they’re just that great, so everyone buy a MuggleCast T-shirt. Okay? They come in two designs, a multitude of sizes and one design even has silhouettes of each MuggleCaster.

Eric: Ben you stink at PR Let me do it please. These MuggleCast T-shirts are…

Ben: No wait, hold on, hold on!

Eric: No, no, no, no.

Ben: No wait.

Andrew: I want to hear Eric.

Eric: I insist, I insist, I insist. These MuggleCast T-shirts are made of a special synthetic fabric and in like one year there is going to be something big happens and all the clothing in the entire world is going to deteriorate and all we’re going to have left are these MuggleCast T-shirts.

Andrew: Wow! I didn’t know that.

Eric: So, if you want clothing, buy a MuggleCast T-shirt. Buy it like it’s the only…

Andrew: [laughs] To save yourself in 2007.

Eric: Buy it like there’s nothing left.

Andrew: Dumbledore says it on page nine. “‘My dear professor’ says Dumbledore ‘I have never seen a cat sit so stiffly,’ and then McGonagall goes ‘Girl, you be stiff if you be sitt’n on that brick wall all day, mhm.’”

[Laura and Micah laughs]

Eric: It’s funny because I have 10,000 friends…

Andrew: Okay, don’t show off.

Eric: No, no, I have 10,000 friends.

Andrew: I bet I have more friends than you on MySpace.

Eric: No, I have ten-thousand friend requests but I have no posts.

Andrew: You’re such a liar. Shut-up!

Eric: No, no. But I have no posts. Not one single…so I haven’t updated…I created the account…

Ben: Awww.

Eric: In fact I think its dead now, I think they deactivated it. Disconnected the MySpace again because I haven’t used it, but I have so many friend requests, it’s so funny because I didn’t have time to update.

Andrew: [pause] You’re such a showoff.

Eric: No, I am not a showoff. I’m saying that it’s so sad…

Andrew: You’re such a…

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: [mocking voice] “I have thousands of friend requests but they deactivated me.” [laughs]

Jamie: Does that mean there are some good people who have come from Slytherin, or is every single person from Slytherin is bad?

Ben: [in fake British accent] They can’t all be bad. That would be what we call in America, we call it a stereotype.

Jamie: What are you talking about Ben?

Andrew: So, speaking of nerds and really big dorks, Kevin Steck just came in. Welcome Kevin Steck

Kevin: [laughs] Thank you

Jamie: Oooh…

Kevin: Thank you very much.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: How do you think Voldemort asked Quirrell if he could stick out the back of his head?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It isn’t something you bring up over dinner.

Jamie: Why don’t they release the film at 10:00 and the book at 10:05?

[Ben and Andrew laughs]

Andrew: That will confuse every single Harry Potter fan. “Book or Movie First, I DON’T KNOW!”

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, that’s it.

Laura: Does he really even need a job, technically?

Eric: He doesn’t need a job.

Andrew: Yeah, he might have enough cash, yeah

Ben: He’s going to die anyways.

Andrew: Good point.

[Andrew and Ben laughs]

Andrew: Thank you, Negative Ben.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: He’s going to die anyway.

Andrew: Ben, that should be your response to everything: “Who cares, he’s gonna die anyways.” Yeah, just say it about everyone that we bring up.

Jamie: [laughs] I would love for Harry to be hot dog vendor. it would be the best thing ever.

Andrew: This week chapter eleven of Sorcerer’s Stone titled “Quidditch”. So, this chapter is focused around…

Jamie: Quidditch? [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] The first Quidditch match. Yeah.

Kevin: Wow.

Jamie: This chapter “Quidditch” is pretty much focused around, uh, Quidditch.

Eric: I think this chapter is probably going to be about…

Jamie: Toasters?

Eric: Toasters.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Definitely.

Eric: You can totally tell because if you look at the chapter picture by Mary Grandpre…

Jamie: It just jumps out at you.

Eric: He charred black, doesn’t he, Andrew?

Andrew: Sort of. I don’t what you are trying to say about him though.

Andrew: So, he gets his nickname “Mad-Eye” from that large disgusting – well, not disgusting, sort of disgusting eye that he’s got.

Ben: That’s cool, man.

Andrew: Where do you think he got that eye from? But where’d he get it from.

Ben: Probably the ministry. Because when he got his eye gouged out or whatever how he lost it.

Eric: It’s standard issue.

Ben: No, man. It’s probably when he got his eye gouged out that the ministry said, “This is a perfect opportunity to give him something that can help him advance in his profession.” So, they gave him the eye that can see through things. Wouldn’t it be cool, Andrew, to have that eye though?

Andrew: If you’re a perv, then yeah.

Ben: Aw, okay. I wasn’t talking about…

Andrew: You’d be seeing too much. I’d be seeing things I would not want to see.

Ben: Chicks dig scars, man, chicks dig scars. [laughs]

Ben: Hagrid said, [in his Hagrid voice] “Any witch or wizard that hasn’t gone bad has always been in Slytherin,” which really doesn’t make grammatical sense but we all know what he’s trying to say.

[Andrew, Kevin, Micah and Laura laughs]

Andrew: Nice impression. [laughs]

[Phone rings]

Laura: I’m so jittery

Andrew: I’m getting excited.

Laura: I think I’m going to pee my pants. Oh, my god.

Ben: Come on, Emerson.

[Emerson’s voicemail recording]

Ben: Uh-oh, big mistake.

Andrew: That’s his voicemail for all of you who don’t know it.

Ben: Big mistake.

Andrew: All right.

Ben: One.

Andrew: Time for the second number.

Ben: Second digit.

Jess: However this feeds my theory that Dumbledore is an idiot…

[Laura laughs]

Jess: …and that Dumbledore is evil, and that Dumbledore deserved to fall of the Astronomy tower, dead.

Ben: Ummm.

Jess: Because…

[Laura laughs hysterically]

Ben: [in his Hagrid voice] “Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me!”

Jess: Well, you know. [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: [in Hagrid voice] “Keeper of Keys.”

Jess: I’ve never liked Dumbledore. I just don’t like Dumbledore. I think he’s a fraud, I think he deserved everything he got.

Andrew: Oh, my gosh, who are you?

[Laura laughs]

Jess: You know I think, almost in a way, he sets up Harry in these situations so he can’t take the blame for it.

Kevin: Wow.

Ben: Oh, whatever. You’re like….

Andrew: I am on the verge of crying. I can’t believe you would say this.

Ben: You’re like the National Enquirer on MuggleCast.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: And we are all going to be wearing our shirts right?

Kevin: Of course.

Laura: Oh, of course.

Micah: Absolutely.

Andrew: And we’re going to be taking a picture of ourselves wearing them in public.

Laura: Yeah, sure I will.

Andrew: Micah is going to be out in Times Square, taking a picture of himself.

Micah: Absolutely.

Kevin: Andrew, you know I don’t go into public.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Not in sunlight anyways.

Kevin: I’m inclusive, you know? I just sit in my house crying the day away.

Andrew: [laughs] Force yourself.

Laura: You know… [laughs]

Andrew: Now you can feel put to shame.

Laura: I can feel put to shame. I can feel put to shame because I am semi-proficient in Spanish and I went all over the internet to find some sort of translation for lunatico and I couldn’t find anything, so I just came to the assumption that it is kind of a nonsense word like Moony is in English. So, thank you for pointing that out to me and I am going to go cry in my corner now.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Feeling put to shame…

Andrew: We’ll see you in a few, Laura.

Laura: Now, all we have to do is help them pass their tests.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Remedial Math with Kevin Steck.

Kevin: Oh yeah, I’m sure.

Eric: That would thrill all of you.

Kevin: That would be…

Eric: Honestly, though.

Kevin: …a podcast hour to remember.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Micah has a good question for you.

Emerson: Okay.

Ben: He wants to know why Notre Dame sucks.

Emerson: All right, so here’s the thing: I’m pretty sure Micah went to Syracuse and I’m pretty sure Notre Dame beat Syracuse 34-10.

Ben: Ohhh.

Micah: In football. How about basketball?

Ben: He said “What about basketball?”

Emerson: Pretty sure basketball doesn’t matter.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, and it’s…

Ben: It’s rough being Ben Schoen.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [sings] I can’t let you go! Want you in my life!

Jamie: [sings] Who wants to live forever?! Come on!

Ben: I don’t know that one.

Jamie: [still singing] Who wants to live forever?! Come on! Who wants to live forever?! Oooh! Who dares to love forever?

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen, in the middle of the street in Nebraska, stealing someone’s Wifi.

Jamie: I found on Google, one absolutely charming Harry Potter fan who puts a theory out there. He suggests that Harry will go to Godric’s Hollow, go to his mother’s grave, pluck out her eyeballs, and then he will finally have “his mother’s eyes.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Cryogenically freeze them so we can bring them back in fifty years.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, [laughs] you can “File Save As” in Photoshop. [laughs]

Claire: Didn’t Walt Disney freeze his head? Didn’t he freeze his head? That was weird. That was really weird.

Jamie: Who’s head are we freezing?

Claire: Walt Disney froze his own head!

Jamie: No way, really?

Claire: Seriously, like he did. He froze his own head. Honestly, I swear to god, yeah.

Jamie: Where’s he keep it?

Claire: In the Disney Vault.

Jamie: A talking point – you know, if you keep it in your living room.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: “Oh, what’s that?” “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just Walt Disney’s head. So, you fancy a drink?”

Andrew: You know, it was a problem this week that they came, because I couldn’t podcast naked like I normally do.

Jamie: Exactly. [laughs]

Eric: I know, it’s so inconvenient. Put on some clothes.

[Jamie recites DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Is that for real?

Eric: He is really good at that.

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail really fast]

Eric: He’s still going?

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail]

Jamie: The end! Total DA’s thirty-five.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Thank you.

Andrew: What just happened?

Laura: Hey everyone, the editorial segment is back. Yay! Say “Yay,” everyone. Come on. Yay.

Micah: Yay.

Brandon: Yay.

Laura: I love the enthusiasm.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: Our questions for this – the first one is: #1. Is it simply that Dumbledore couldn’t make himself invisible at this time? Some people forget that Dumbledore was not ridiculously powerful from birth, although it seems like he has always been one step ahead, e.g. when Professor Tofty said that during his N.E.W.T. examinations he could do things with a wand that nobody had ever seen before.

[Ben and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Magical abilities are clearly a product of age and experience. What’s so funny about that?

Laura: You guys are so gross! You guys are so perverted!

Andrew: Grow up! Grow up. You’re so immature.

Andrew: I don’t know. It’s like a cat. When it looks at something shiny it wants to touch it.

Laura: Okay, but a cat doesn’t die when it touches something shiny. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, Harry doesn’t know…

Micah: If it’s a blender it does.

Laura: I was actually hired to work on MuggleNet on Halloween. So, this Halloween is going to be my two-year anniversary, yes.

Kevin: That was a sad day in MuggleNet history.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: I would have to say, I was an M&M one year. And that was kind of weird.

Ben: You were Eminem or an M&M?

Andrew: An M&M, I said.

Ben: I thought you were Eminem one year. [laughs]

Andrew: No [laughs] I said an M&M.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, that’s why I asked you if you carry a chainsaw around with you.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Because he carries a chainsaw. I didn’t realize you went – oh my god, that must have sounded so weird!

Ben: I thought you were the rapper!

Andrew: No, I wasn’t the rapper. Why would I be Eminem the rapper?

Ben: [laughs] Because that’s an actual Halloween costume.

Jamie: Andrew…

Andrew: It is? I’ve never seen someone dress up as Eminem. [laughs]

Jamie: What did you think I meant?

Andrew: Not everything is a costume.

Micah: [in chipmunk voice] Finally, be sure to check out a brand new interview with David Thewlis who plays Professor Lupin, where he discusses the 5th Harry Potter film. [changes to normal voice] And just so you know that that was legit, that’s all the news [changes to chipmunk voice] for this November 5th, [changes to normal voice] 2006 edition of MuggleCast. [changes to chipmunk voice] Back to the show.

Andrew: I have a question for everyone. Who’s going to see Happy Feet this Friday?

Eric: I want to see Casino Royale.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay, but my question is who’s going to see Happy Feet?

[Ben laughs]

Eric: I don’t care.

Jamie: Back to the original question.

Ben: What’s that movie going to be about? It sounds dumb.

Andrew: It’s about penguins dancing on ice glaciers.

Jamie: Oh that sounds like a classic, an absolute classic.

Laura: Oh, that’ll be my number one stop this weekend. I’m telling you that now.

Ben: It’s like some ethical issues in society like stem cell research, like just because I think it’s okay doesn’t mean everyone does.

Jamie: It doesn’t mean Ben’s right.

Jamie: It’s all a matter of opinion.

Jamie: Doesn’t mean he’s right either.

Laura: But the torture of a human being is a little different.

Ben: What if he deserved it?

Jamie: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What if the bunny peed on the carpet?

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: He deserves to have his little head chopped off.

Andrew: I think Jamie…

Laura: Well then, you know what? Then you guys should have killed me when I
spilled that coffee all over the floor in L.A.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I was ready to.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah exactly.

Ben: You just started kicking everything over, you klutz!

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Laura: I can’t help it that you guys had stuff all over that room.

Andrew: But Eric and Micah, you guys weren’t on the show last week. What did you guys think of the trailer?

Eric: I liked it. It was really short. It didn’t seem like 57 seconds when I first saw it in the theater.

Andrew: It’s because it was 54.

Eric: Okay.

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Eric: Okay, that’s solved. Okay, so it’s 54 seconds.

[Ben and Andrew still laughing]

Eric: It didn’t seem like that. It flew by really fast. Most of the time was spent on the fading in of the logo. So… [laughs]

Andrew: Well, that was a lot of voicemails boys and girls, and Micah.

[Eric laughs]

Kevin: Yes, it was.

Laura: So, like Dementors aren’t – they’re not human and they’re not animals. Micah’s just – Micah? He’s not.

Andrew: Micah. He’s his own species. I’d take that as a compliment, Micah.

Kevin: It’s true.

Micah: I do. I take it as a compliment.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: You’re an anchorman. You’re not a man, you’re not a woman, you’re an anchorman.

[Micah laughs]

[End of segments]

Andrew: All right. Wow, what a long show filled with so much content.

Jamie: Yup.

Andrew: I’m exhausted. I think we’re going to have to take a month off.

Jamie: It’s extremely tiring lying here just speaking into your microphone for an hour-and-a-half.

Andrew: Yeah, and listening to all this. Yeah, this is rough. Not to mention this is a double-header recording for us.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: But anyway, we hope everyone has enjoyed the past year of MuggleCasting and by hearing all those sound clips again, the MuggleCast year review, we think we did have a good year. Or at least I did.

Jamie: Yeah, we all did. Very good year.

Laura: Yeah, absolutely.

Micah: Thank you to the transcribers for working on that for us.

Jamie: Yes, yeah, thank you so much.

Andrew: Yeah. Seriously, a big thanks to them.

Laura: Awww, transcriber love.

Andrew: They all went through – they each had two or three episodes of MuggleCast to go through and pick out the funniest moments. So, thank you to all of them very much. It’s greatly appreciated.

Show Close

Andrew: So, another year of MuggleCasting begins now. [fake crying]

Laura: Oh, god. Not another one. I’m just kidding. [laughs]

Andrew: Of course we’re going to have some new segments for you over the next year and god only knows what other stupid stuff we’re going to come up with.

[Micah and Laura laughs]

Andrew: Maybe a new catch-phrase. I don’t know. We hope everyone is having a great New Year’s whenever you’re listening to this. Have a great 2007 in case we don’t see you. I don’t know why that would be, but…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: So, without further ado, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence. Happy New Year.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: Do not forget to become our friend on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Frappr – whatever the rest of the stuff is.

Micah: Last.FM.

Andrew: Yeah, Last.FM. It’s all there at I just want to run through the contact information. To send something to our P.O. Box – we’re going to have a PO Box update on 71, I promise. If Ben’s on.


PO Box 223
Moundridge, KS

You can also call in your voicemail questions to 1-218-MAGIC in the United States. If you’re in the United Kingdom, you can dial 020-8144-0677. If you’re in Australia you can dial 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username MuggleCast and please try to keep your message under 30 seconds. Also, you can visit for our feedback forum to contact any one of us or you can just go use our first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com. So, we thank you all for listening once again. Seriously, I think it’s time to get sappy again. Thank you!

Jamie: No, seriously, thank you.

Andrew: To all of our listeners.

Laura: Yeah, really.

Eric: You people, you know, being at Lumos and not being the only guy in costume, that made me feel special. I wasn’t so…

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: Geeks of the world. You are my brethren.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

[Show music plays in background]

Eric: And all 15 people that came to Save Gas Money for the popcorn reading of Prisoner of Azkaban at Lumos, thank you. There will be a sequel to that somewhere at Prophecy.

Andrew: All kidding aside without – you know, you guys make the show. We don’t. We just sit here and talk, but without you guys we wouldn’t be doing this.

Jamie: It’s weird. Like, when Andrew releases the show, it’s weird what we’ve done is gone into that. I have to tell everyone without sucking up to him too much, he does what is a very, very messy, very, you know, messed up…

Andrew: Long. [laughs]

Jamie: Long, boring…

Eric: Hard.

Jamie: Hard thing and discussion into a very workable show. So…

Andrew: Well, thank you, Jamie. That’s very kind of you.

Jamie: It’s okay, and yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: So, [laughs] we hope you’ll listen to us into the new year and beyond. To Book Seven and beyond!

Andrew: Yeah. Without. I always like saying without you guys we would be nothing.

Laura: Nothing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: In the sense of this podcast, so we thank you all for listening. We hope to see you all through all of 2007. So once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Did we already do these?

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, we did.

Eric: Wait, we already did these. [laughs] Oh my God, we’ve been recording way too long. We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 71. Bye!

Eric: [mumbling] Deathly Hallows dot net.

Jamie: Hopefully.

Laura: Happy New Year!

Micah: Bye!

Eric: Happy New Year.

[Show Music ends]


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Roni, Samantha, Shannon and Shelly