Transcript 104

MuggleCast 104 Transcript


Live From Novi, Michigan


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Andrew: Today’s Mugglecast podcast is brought to you by Border’s. In May, hundreds of Harry Potter fans descended upon New Orleans for the Phoenix Rising Conference. Border’s was there to take in the sights and share a lively discussion of the series that has bewitched the world with some of Harry’s most dedicated fans. Listen in and watch the action yourself. Check out the Phoenix Rising Border’s Book Club discussion at BordersMedia.com/HarryPotter, or click on the Border’s banner at the top of the Mugglenet page.

[Show music begins to play]

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Oh, hey. Wow! Geez! Hello everyone, welcome to MuggleCast live in – oh gosh, where are we now? Detroit.

[Audience yells “Novi”]

Novi. Novi. Sorry. It says, “Detroit,” on the website. I checked the website first. How’s everyone doing today?

Ben: Hello.

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: Thank you for coming out. We’ve got a good crowd here. How’s the panel doing?

Jamie: Well, I’d just like to take a moment to apologize for our bad appearances, because we just left Emerson’s about four hours ago after no showers. We just woke up and jumped into the car.

Emerson: That’s what this line is here. You guys have to keep back a little bit so we don’t all suffocate you.

Ben: I had a shower. I had a shower.

[Andrew laughs]

[Audience cheers]

Emerson: I love how you guys are cheering for the fact that Ben had a shower.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: There’s a first for everything.

Andrew: Anyway, so at all these live shows we’ve been doing a little – well, first of all, let me ask, everyone happy with the book? Deathly Hallows?

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Has… [Microphone cuts out] What? Okay.

Andrew: Has everyone read the book?

[Audience says, “Yes”]

Mikey: Okay, good. Because if you haven’t, we’re going to be talking about it, and we don’t want to spoil it for you. So it would be very, very sad.

Andrew: So leave.

Jamie: Leave.

Andrew: Leave now, or forever hold your peace, or risk being spoiled.

Jamie: Leave quickly.

Andrew: Mikey, I think you need a new mic, buddy.

Mikey: Oh, I saw someone in the back leave.

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: We wouldn’t have a lot to talk about if we didn’t talk about what happened in the book.

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: We could make more predictions about what’s going to happen, I guess.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: We could always talk about Emerson’s personal life.

Andrew: Oooh.

Emerson: Whatever.

Ben: Spy on Spartz.

Mikey: Well, he’s sitting right next to us, you know?


Character Discussion: Hermione


Andrew: So at every live show we’ve been doing a main discussion, a character discussion, because quite a few characters have developed in this book, and today we’re going to talk about Hermione. Jamie?

Jamie: We are. So far we’ve talked about Snape, Dumbledore, and – have we talked about anyone else? Voldemort. It’s been really, really interesting to get everyone’s views and their thoughts about the characters’ change with the release of the seventh book. All through the first six they could have had a really, really strong opinion of this character, and then in the seventh, everything’s just been thrown upside down with the new information we’ve got. So with Hermione, we’ve been thinking, she has always been clever, always been very – she’s always wanted to help her friends. There’s always been a bit of controversy over why she was in Gryffindor and not Ravenclaw, and often people have wondered that. And then in the seventh book, she was a big help to Harry. In fact, Ben and I think that without Hermione, Harry would probably not be alive today. Because, and we keep saying this, Harry just keeps waking up, doesn’t know where he is, and Hermione’s there, looking all bushy-haired and covered in ash saying, “Oh that was a close one again, Harry.”

[Audience laughs]

So she always seems to save the day, Hermione.

Emerson: It does seem like the seventh book, it was just – every like, two pages they’d have another near-death experience, and then through luck or whatever, miraculously they’d pull through somehow.

Jamie: A camping trip.

Ben: Or Harry would just throw some Expelliarmus, because that’s how he wins everything.

Andrew: Please hold for a microphone change.

Mikey: Does it work? It works. Yay.

Emerson: All right, cool.


Hermione Throughout the Books


Jamie: So what did you guys think of Hermione in the first six books?

Andrew: Well, I mean, in Book 7, it’s basically exactly how Hermione’s been throughout all six books. But now, Hermione – all this help she’s been providing Harry from like Sorcerer’s Stone to Half-Blood Prince, has all come together in Deathly Hallows, and just the whole book is just her helping Harry. Like, that’s all she’s doing.

Emerson: What I love about Hermione is the fact that Harry has this task, obviously, and the odds of successfully tracking down all the Horcruxes and destroying them, and then defeating Voldemort, his odds aren’t good, and yet he spends all his time just kind of going with the flow, whatever happens to him, happens. But Hermione is taking all this time that she has to learn as much as she can about magic, and to improve herself as much as she possibly can. So in the seventh book, you see every time they’re in a tight situation, you see Hermione always knows the right spell to use, because her knowledge of magic is so superior to Harry’s, even though he may be a powerful wizard, just because it’s just in him. But Hermione makes the most of what she has, and that’s what I really am most impressed with, because she’s very bookish, and I really like that about her.

Andrew: Yeah. Mikey?

Ben: That’s his biggest turn-on, by the way.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: If you can read books. No, I totally agree with both of you guys. Hermione has definitely stepped up, and I think she showed a lot more courage in this book than previous books. Normally, she’s kind of the one that doesn’t want to break the rules, doesn’t want to go underneath the Invisibility Cloak, and stuff like that.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: But now, she’s like, “We need to do this.” She realizes that it’s either them or losing to Voldemort, so they have to – she uses all her books, you know? I remember reading the scene where she’s packing up books, like which books to take and which ones not to take, and I just started laughing, going – I could totally picture, you know, Emma Watson or my Hermione in my head, doing this. Just going, “I really want to take this book, but it’s about nargles,” or something, something absolutely, completely irrelevant.

[Audience laughs]

And she’s like, “We never know, we might run into it,” and puts it in the pack. I could just see the stacks being totally lopsided, where it’s just like, a hundred books I need to take, and one book about, you know, Mugglenet.com’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7, not needing to be taken.

Emerson: You can’t leave the house without that one, Mikey.

Jamie: Because – no, you can’t.

Mikey: I don’t know, she’s living it, so she might not need to take it, but it’s like, everything she’s taking, her knowledge is just beyond Harry’s.

Ben: She should have taken it with her, because we were pretty darn right.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Who knows. But yeah, I can just imagine, Hermione – without Hermione, Harry would have been lost.

Jamie: He was, yeah.

Mikey: You know, especially every time he wakes up and is like, “Thank you, Hermione, you saved me again.”

Emerson: He seems like he’s usually mad at her, like when she broke his wand. I mean yes, he has the right to be mad at her, but she also did save his life.

Jamie: Yeah.

Emerson: That;s a little more important than his wand.

Ben: Yeah.

Emerson: And I couldn’t help but think, Harry, come on, dude, priorities here. Priorities.

Mikey: Yeah, it’s like, face Voldemort without a wand, or have Hermione save you again.

Jamie: There were so many instances where she just did stuff that she didn’t even think of, like she cast protective spells around their campsite, which, you know, they were camping a great deal, so she did all that, and then she told him stuff he didn’t know, like at Grimmauld Place, after they got back from the Ministry, Yaxley got his arm round her just as they Disapparated.

[Audience laughs at his pronunciation]

And so likeā€”Disapparated, sorry…

Mikey: Disappeared, disapparated, same thing.

Jamie: It’s been a long drive.

Mikey: Long drive.

Jamie: Long drive, yeah. So, yeah, she just did stuff that he had no idea how to do.

Mikey: One thing I also – I kind of got upset with Hermione about, was she’s too logical at certain times. Like when Harry had figured everything out, he’s like, “This is what we’ve got to do,” and she’s like, “No, it’s just a story, it’s just a fairy tale.” It’s like, “No, it’s the Deathly Hallows, it’s the three things we need to get.” “No, no, it’s a fairy tale, Lovegood is just totally out of his mind.” “No, it’s true.” Harry was like positive, and she was completely wrong, and I liked that Harry kind of proved her wrong a little bit.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: I like Harry.

Emerson: See, as somebody who normally prides rational decision-making, and that’s why Hermione is one of my favorite characters, I actually thought that what happened when they had that divergence where Harry had to go with his gut and Hermione was wrong, I think her logic actually failed her at that point, because logically we could all see from Harry’s perspective that the Deathly Hallows were obviously the reason that the Invisibility Cloak existed, and all these other – the pieces were fitting together. Harry was actually being more logical than Hermione, and it was a gut feeling. It was a combination. So Hermione…

Mikey: Well…

Ben: I think Hermione just had a hard time believing in like a three – a story about three kids, or whatever.

Mikey: Well, I think the biggest thing for us, as readers, was that’s the title of the book.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: So maybe it’s important. I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s interesting. One of the other titles, I don’t know if you guys have heard, but one of the other titles that Jo was considering was Harry Potter and the Elder Wand, which I think would have been more fitting, especially with the U.S. cover, because apparently the cover is depicting them reaching for the Elder Wand, Harry and Voldemort.

Mikey: After they shot spells at each other, and Harry’s the Master of Death, and the wand goes, “Whee!” up in the air.

Andrew: Right, right. What other character are you really proud of, Mikey?


Give it up for Molly Weasley


Mikey: Oh, give it up for Molly Weasley, everybody. Come on.

[Audience cheers]

How awesome was that? Really, like, can you imagine, at that final battle, like Molly Weasley just like, “Stay away from my daughter, you… witch!” And just like, she goes after Bellatrix, you know, imagine the movie, she’s going to be running, her cloak flies off her, she’s like, “Come on, no.” Now, you guys have to remember, she doesn’t necessarily kill Bellatrix. It’s just a curse. So Molly Weasley probably uses like a Stupefy, because she’s not a mean person, but she still takes out Bellatrix. Well, no, no, because it says Harry knew exactly what was going to happen before it even happened, just like what happened to Sirius. Sirius was hit by a stunning spell and fell through the Veil.

Andrew: Straight in the chest.

Mikey: Straight in the chest, right below the heart. So who knows what it was? I really can’t picture Molly Weasley using Avada Kedavra. Probably she could if she really wanted to, but I can’t see it. Come on, she’s always making food and come on, you know, really? It would be a stunning spell, I think, or it could be Expelliarmus, because that’s the spell of the book.

Ben: The solution to everything.

Emerson: And that’s Harry’s.

Mikey: Open a door. Expelliarmus.


Harry Used Unforgivable Curses


Ben: I thought it was cool that Harry used Unforgivable Curses. That was awesome. He was just like telling people what to do. Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah. Imperio.


Crowd Reaction to Hermione


Jamie: Does anyone have any thoughts on Hermione? So like, how she’s changed with the seventh book, how she’s developed?

Andrew: Get in the audience here.

Mikey: If you have a thought, why don’t you come on up and we’ll give you a microphone and you can tell us, and we can respond. Is anybody brave enough to get up?

Andrew: Anyone?

Mikey: I know the floor’s pretty comfortable.

Jamie: It’s pretty exciting, hearing the responses so far.


Did Harry Die in Book 7?


Emerson: One thing I’ve really been itching for a debate about is, having read the book, a lot of people told me that in the book, Mugglenet.com’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7, we predicted that Harry would live, and I’ve been getting a lot of my friends calling and saying, “Ah! Harry died, you were wrong. Well, you were half right, but you were wrong because he died.” But I don’t think he died.

Jamie: No.

Mikey: No.

Andrew: No.

Emerson: Because I think it’s pretty clear that Harry wasn’t dead. Dumbledore actually says, when Harry asks him, “Am I dead?” and Dumbledore says, “On the whole, I think not.” Clearly you can’t be–you’re either dead or you’re not. Like, there’s–and Harry’s clearly in like a transitional, kind of between life and death, but there’s – J.K. Rowling has been very clear in the past that you can’t come back from the dead.

Andrew: Right.

Emerson: So he wasn’t dead. So if anybody wants to debate that, I’m spoiling for a fight right now.

Mikey: He’s very angry.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: This guy back here wants to say something.

Emerson: All right, no challengers.

Mikey: Why don’t you come on up here and use the microphone, because it is an audio podcast. We want to hear your voice on the podcast. So you can go download it yourself, and be like, “That’s me everybody, listen.”

[Audience laughs]

That’s what I do. Every time I’m on the show, I’m like, oh, it’s me. What’s your name? Where are you from?

Steve: My name’s Steve, I’m from Jackson, Michigan. Prison city.

Mikey: Yeah.

Steve: Anyway, I was just kind of curious. I don’t think he was really dead or alive. He was the Master of Death, I think that’s why he was given the choice kind of in that purgatory of the train station, and Dumbledore said, “Well, you can either go,” because as you know, his scar was gone, he no longer needed his glasses, so in a way I think he was kind of dead.

Emerson: Well, no, I agree with you. I think that train station was probably – someone mentioned at an event in Valparaiso, Indiana, that maybe the reason he was in a train station for the purgatory was because it’s very symbolic of having to choose. Which train do you get on?

Andrew: [sings] Should I stay or should I go?

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: Well played.

[Everyone laughs]

Steve: Thanks, guys.

Emerson: But either way, we’re in agreement, he wasn’t dead. He didn’t decide to get on that train.

Jamie: No, it was all in his head.

Mikey: It was all in his head, that’s what Dumbledore says.

Ben: And as Dumbledore explained that he still had the anchor to life because of the whole blood thing with Voldemort’s blood.

Andrew: Yeah, but I think the point about, what Jo has said multiple times – once you’re dead, you cannot come back even in the magical world.

Jamie: Exactly.

Andrew: Jo was very clear about that.

Mikey: Except as Inferi. As zombies.

Jamie: Well, you can come back. You just can’t come back as yourself.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: You can come back as your…

Andrew: Right, but Harry is himself.

Jamie: Huh? Yeah, he is. Yeah.

Andrew: So…


Missing: Inferi and Veil


Mikey: Actually, hold on, I have a question about the dead. Did anyone think that Inferi were going to play a role because they had been talked about. I was expecting Harry Potter and the Zombies.

[Audience laughs]

But there was no Inferi. It was a big part in Book 6 as the ring – or the locket, and that was it.

Jamie: That was awesome if it was a kind of Sixth Sense thing where we think Harry came back from the dead, but he didn’t really. He’s actually dead.

Mikey: Yeah.

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: And nobody talks to him now. He wonders why for so long. And the he realizes – and then Ginny just takes off her ring and throws it down and everything fades to black.

Mikey: Awww, I like Ginny.

Jamie: What a fitting end.

Emerson: I think the thing that surprised me the most is that we never saw the Veil again.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Audience says, “Yeah”]

Emerson: I thought the Veil…

Ben: Or the Department of Mysteries, in general.

Emerson: Yeah, the mysterious locked door. I thought that was going to be almost central.

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: I thought that might even be where the end of the book is or that would just be crucial to the final – the final plot.

Jamie: Well, I read a spoiler online that I though was a spoiler originally where Voldermort and Harry go to the Ministry of Magic and they are in that circular room where the Love Door is, and they were fighting and I can’t remember how they were fighting, but Harry opens this door to the Love Room and this huge burst of light comes out and it completely destroys Voldemort. But it heals him because he is pure at heart. And I believed it. And I have been told off for believing this because it doesn’t sound realistic, but if you’d have read it, you would have believed it too.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: But you know what? Jamie, I think I read the same thing, but this time Harry sent him a Valentine’s Day card and killed him that way.

Jamie: I believed that one too.

[Audience laughs]


Kreacher and House-Elves


Emerson: Well, while we’re making random observations, I thought one of the coolest scenes in the whole movie, was when Kreacher rallied the House-Elves to come fight in the battle.

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: And…

Andrew: Kreacher really made a full 180 in this book.

Emerson: He really did. We did not see the Kreacher storyline. We saw the first part with Regulus Black and the Horcrux, but we didn’t think a little bit of kindness towards Kreacher would turn him into this cool, little House-Elf. But I thought one thing that surprised me a little bit is these House-Elves are supposed to be capable of some really, really powerful magic, so why do they come out…

Jamie: With knives, yeah.

Emerson: Why are they banging on their knees with spatulas and eag beaters and stuff.

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: That is very true, yeah.

Emerson: I thought they would be really laying the smackdown with some seriously powerful magic, but…frying pans.

Jamie: It reminded me of – have you seen The Mummy, the film? Anyone see The Mummy?

Andrew: Yeah.

[Audience says, “Yeah”]

Jamie: It reminded me of those beetles that come over and devour you in one second. I can just imagine all these House-Elves crawling on top of Voldemort and him just going down and seeing a hand disappear.

[Audience laughs]

Or at the end like that.

Emerson: That is a really weird mental image.

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: As I said, it was a late night.


Tangenet: Star Wars and Pokemon


Mikey: For the House-Elves, I kind of saw them as Ewoks, you know? They just come up and they’re taking – they’re swinging from the rafters.

Emerson: Oh yeah, Ewoks!

Mikey: With cleavers and be like “Ahhh!” It would be cool.

Emerson: Oh yeah, straight out of the third Star Wars movie.

Mikey: Exactly. Sixth, technically. But anyway.

Andrew: Am I the only one who has never seen Star Wars.

[Audience member responds]

Mikey: Yeah…

Andrew: Thank you, thank you.

Mikey: Pretty much.

Ben: I’ve seen it.

Andrew: Sorry.

Mikey: It’s all right, Andrew. We still care about you.

Andrew: I just don’t get of these references you make. Or Lord of the Rings, never saw it.

Jamie: Oh, no.

Ben: Pokemon.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: I’ve seen Pokemon.

Jamie: That is the biggest crime, I tell you.

Mikey: The Pokemon one.

Emerson: Jamie likes to draw parallels to Pokemon all the time.

Jamie: I do, I do.

Andrew: I do. There are a lot of them.

Jamie: There are, the are several.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I like them.

Andrew: Can’t come up with them right now.

Mikey: Okay, anyway.


Question: Kreacher


Jamie: Anyone have any more thoughts on Hermione?

Mikey: Come on up here. Yep, yep. Come up here. You got to come up here. You got to be on the microphone.

Andrew: Kreacher? Kreacher? Fine. Fine. Come on up.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: Kreacher, Hermione – they are kind of like the same character.

Jamie: Hermione, Kreacher.

Mikey: Not really, but…

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: Here, use this mic.

Mikey: Exactly.

Andrew: What? Whoa! Where you going?

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: She wants Jamie’s microphone.

Andrew: Fine, you don’t want to talk to me? It’s cool.

[Audience laughs]

Arianna: I still love you guys.

Andrew: No, we’re over it really.

Arianna: All right. My name?

Andrew: Yeah, your name.

Mikey: Name, where you’re from.

Andrew: MySpace url.

Arianna: My name is Arianna Beemer. I am from [cough] New Baltimore, Michigan.

[Audience cheers]

Arianna: That’s my friends.

[Audience laughs]

Arianna: About Kreacher, what I thought was – about how he changed after Harry showed kindess to him, is another example of how love plays such an important role in the books. Like, all Kreacher really wanted was for somebody to love him and that’s why he felt connected to Mrs. Black and Narcissa and Bellatrix because they showed care – they cared for him or they pretended to at least. So, when Harry started to care for him, he really started to come around and be more good t
han he was.

Emerson: I thought it was a really almost like a sweet story.

Jamie: Yeah.

Emerson: Like, you think about how -I might turn into a puddle of tears in a minute, but…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Awww.

Emerson: All it took was a little bit of kindness and I wonder, you know, if there is someone in each of your lives, or in my life that I maybe haven’t treated kindly and some people you just really, really dislike and you…

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: And maybe if I showed him a little bit of kindness, you know, at some point…

[Audience says, “Awww”]

Emerson: Maybe he would – maybe Mikey would, maybe love me back.

Mikey: Awww, I do Emerson. I do.


Dudley’s Kindness


Andrew: Speaking about love and kindness, how about Dudley showing some love right for Harry.

[Cheers from audience]

Ben: That was lame.

Andrew: I mean…

Mikey: [Dudley impersonation] “I’m Big D.”

Ben: I didn’t know he was capable of being so romantic.

Jamie: Me too.

Mikey: [Dudley impersonation]: “Put it down, Harry Potter! I’m Big D.”

Emerson: “I don’t think you’re a waste of space.”

Andrew: That was just one of those things you were its just, no…

Jamie: No, that’s just me.

Andrew: It’s so out of place. It doesn’t make sense. Maybe if we had some more explanation, but there was none.

Jamie: Can I just check? Is your name the same as Dumbledore’s…?

Arianna: Yes, it is.

Jamie: I hope you’re life is better than her’s.

Arianna: I got texted from people saying, “Oh my god. You’re in a book!”

Jamie: Really?

[Everyone laughs[

Andrew: What’s your name?

Mikey: But you’re alive.

Ben: Arianna.

Jamie: Yeah, you’re a live, that’s the difference.

Mikey: That’s the difference there.

Emerson: And not crazy.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: Okay.

Mikey: She wasn’t always crazy.

Jamie: And not kept…

[Something said from audience]

Jamie: Oh, all right.

Emerson: You’re out in public, though. Clearly you’re safe.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Are you a witch?

[Something said from audience]

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Anyway, moving on.

Jamie: Any other points?

Andrew: And then we’ll open up the floor. We’ll just have an open discussion about the book. Anything that’s been bugging you. Or anything that hasn’t been bugging you.


Movie Discussion


Mikey: Has anyone seen the fifth movie yet?

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: First, this girl.

Jamie: Yet? Yet?

Mikey: You guys saw Kreecher in that, right?

[Most in audience say, “Yeah”]

Mikey: Now, now, now, remember after Harry’s nice to him, he got all nice and clean with puss of white. It’s going to be amazing to see. He’s just going to be a really goofy looking House-Elf.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: So, I’m exciting for that, too.

Andrew: This whole time I was reading the book, I couldn’t help, but think about what they’re going to do for the movie because we just came out of the movie so, I couldn’t help, but have it on my mind and they’re going to have to cut so much. It’s going to be disgusting, some of the things that they’re going to do.

Mikey: It’s going to be an eight-hour movie.

Andrew: Yeah, there you go.

Mikey: That’s what I’ve been saying. Peter Jackson doing an eight-hour movie.

Andrew: So…

[Murmuring from audience]

Mikey: Peter Jackson: The Harry Potter Story.

[Murmuring from audience]

MuggleCast 104 Transcript (continued)


Question: Hermione


Andrew: What’s your name and where you’re from?

Jackie: I’m Jackie and I’m from Birmingham, MI.

[Some cheers]

Jackie: Those are my friends. Ok, Mikey had said that Hermione was way to logical when they were talking about the Deathly Hallows and I don’t think that’s true because if you look Xenophilius Lovegood, he’s completely insane.

[Some laughter]

Jackie: He wears a hat, and he’s cross-eyed…

[Everyone laughs]

Jackie: And the book is from, I don’t know, The Babbity Rabbit – I don’t know what it’s called anymore, but there children stories, she’s right. I think if I was in that situation, I would agree with…

Mikey: Well, my one argument to that is, Dumbledore gave her that book, and Dumbledore is a pretty smart guy.

[Everyone laughs]

Jackie: Well…

Emerson: That’s why I think that actually, Hermione was being illogical for once because she was ignoring the evidence the fact that the Invisibility Cloak existed, that’s already evidence of atleast one of the Deathly Hallows and then Harry thinks he figures out where the stone is, and then Voldemort is obviously looking for the wand, and Voldemort’s pretty smart, so, all those pieces fallen together should indicate that maybe it’s more than just a story.

Mikey: I agree with, Emerson.

[Some laughter]

Emerson: See? Things are turning around between us.

Mikey: High five! Yeah!

[Some laughter]

Mikey: We’re friends again!

Emerson: Friends.

Mikey: Forever.

Andrew: I wonder why, Mr. Lovegood – I don’t know how to pronounce his first name, so…

Mikey: Xenophylis.

Andrew: Xenophilis?

[Audience says, “Xenophilius”]

Mikey: Xenophilius.

Andrew: I wonder why he trusted the Deathly Hallows so much. Like, that story. Why was he part of this group of people who were dedicated to searching for it?

Jamie: No, what it reminds me…

Andrew: Why does he need it?

Jamie: What…

Andrew: Why does he care?

Jamie: What other quest does it remind you of? Like the search of three other things like that?

Emerson: Like the Holy Grail?

Jamie: Yeah, that’s exactly what I got reminded of. I got reminded of The DaVinci Code, Dan Brown? If anyone’s read it, and like, searching for a group of people coming together, mostly in secret because no one else knows really to search for them. That was interesting.


Question: Dobby


Andrew: Yeah. Good point. This girl, Jamie.

Amanda: I just wanted to see what you guys thought…

Andrew: What’s your name and…?

Amanda: Amanda Batten, and I’m from Toledo, Ohio.

Andrew: Woohoo! Toledo!

Amanda: Well, my brother’s favorite character is Dobby and so when he was reading the book, he was like, “Oh my God, the worse thing just happened!” And I was freaking out.

Andrew: Yeah.

Amanda: And then I read it and saw that he died, and me and my sister were reading it ‘What Will Happen In the Seventh Book?’ and said ‘Dobby 100 to 1 that he wasn’t going to die.

[Andrew and everyone laugh]

Amanda: So, I want to know what you thought about that.

Andrew: We can’t be perfect…

Ben: Ummm, we did not sign off on that. It was a misprint.

[Everyone laughs]

Emerson: Frankly, I’m glad…

Ben: Future editions of the book will be changed to reflect the true odds that we intended.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Emerson: 1/100. Frankly, I’m kind of glad we didn’t predict Dobby’s death. I would feel like a slimy person if I predicted that death.

Ben: Yeah.

Emerson: Same with Hedwig. How do you predict the death of an owl?

[Audeince says “Awww”]

Jamie: You don’t.

Mikey: Was everyone sad when Hedwig and Dobby died?

Andrew: Yeah, that…

Mikey: That was one very sad deaths.

Andrew: Dobby was one of the saddest…

Ben: Sad.

Andrew: Dobby?

Ben: or Hedwig? How is Hedwig sad?

Mikey: Hedwig has been with him…

Ben: So? I mean…

Mikey: …all these years.

Ben: I didn’t feel any emotional attachment to her. I just thought it…

[Murmuring from everyone]

Andrew: No one had any emotional attachment to Hedwig. Except for Harry.

Jamie: it was just one of those things.

Andrew: But seriously, it just came so fast. It was a surprise. Did anyone else here find it emotional? Emo?

Ben: Did you cry, Andrew?

Andrew: No, I didn’t. I did feel for Dobby, though because of the way that JK Rowling described it. “Harry picked up his little body and carried it over,” it was very sad.

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: So…

Ben: I just didn’t expect him to die at Bellatrix stabbing him. That was kind of weird, but..

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: That would have been, like what? 10,000 to 1 odds?

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Except I predicted it.


Question: The Love Room and House-Elves


Andrew: Hi, what’s your name and where are you from?

Jillian: Jillian and I’m from Canton, MI. Not Ohio. No, I’m good. This is far enough for me to travel. I have two things to say, though. 1 about the veil, or about the locked room. They explained in the fifth book in that room was pure love, and I think bringing that into the story later would have made it really corny and hoaky and really would have taken away from Harry Potter in general.

Jamie: Why did she mention is, though? Because she made a big deal out of all of it.

Jillian: She mentioned it because Dumbledore was talking to Harry about it – about how fought off Voldemort in the book because he loved Sirius and he was full of so much love, an that was what it was brought up to when they were talking about Sirius’ death. And I think the only reason we ever saw the door was as a setup for that scene with Harry and Dumbledore. And then as far as the House-Elves go using the knives and spatulas and that stuff, they were all essentially enslaved I guess. They worked for Hogwarts, and so they could only be -They could only use magic when they were given permission to when the Headmaster was Snape and Snape was already dead by then.

Jamie: Yeah.

Jillian: Dobby only used magic on another wizard because that was illegal, after he was freed in Chamber of Secrets and that was only to protect Harry.

Jamie: And also they’ve just come from the kitchen and if you can’t find knives and forks there, what can you find?

Jillian: Right.

[Rustling with the microphone]

Andrew: Thank you.


Question: Hermione’s Story


Danielle: Alright, I’m Danielle Meiro from Saint la Shores, Michigan.

[Little cheers from audience]

Andrew: Yeah!

Danielle: I just wanted to go back to Hermione because I think her story had its own theme to it entirely. At first when you see her, she’s smart and she’s clever and she always follows the rules, and as the books go along she keeps breaking more rules and more rules and getting used to it. And I think it really teaches people civil disobedience and how it’s not always right to go along with what everyone else is saying. it’s not always the right thing to be doing.

Emerson: They are more like guidelines anyway.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Here, this guy right here. This guy has been waiting. Right here. What’s your name? Where are you from?


Question: Snape and The Headmaster’s Office


Les: My name is Les. I’m from Farmington, Michigan. Not too far from here.

[Audience cheers]

Les: How, in Snape’s memory, when he’s talking to Dumbledore from behind his desk and he’s talking about giving the sword to Harry and how he’s going to tell the Death Eaters the real date. How is he talking to Dumbledore when he’s not the Headmaster yet? He doesn’t become Headmaster until the Ministry falls and that doesn’t happen until after the wedding.

Jamie: Perhaps Dumbledore put enchantments on the thing so Snape could get in. Didn’t we talk the other day about…

Andrew: We didn’t reread that chapter. Was that after…

Mikey: That was during “The Prince’s Tale,” correct?

Les: It was his whole memory situation, and it was essentially how the whole situation with him and Dumbledore get set up. Dumbledore uses Snape to plant everything…

Jamie: Well, Andrew… Andrew, didn’t we discuss, I think it was yesterday, that the office opens in terms of worthiness and not on whether you’re the Headmaster. So even though Umbridge was the Headmistress at the time of Book 5, it wouldn’t open for her, first of all, because it doesn’t think she’s worthy, whereas I think Snape would have been a very, very worthy person to get in.

Andrew: Yeah, we did talk about that.

Mikey: My only thing I can think of is, possibly, that because it is summer, there’s no students in the castle, and I’m sure the protections would be to keep the bad people, Death Eaters out, but since Snape is supposed to be able to get in, Dumbledore would have made assurances for that. He probably could have gotten into the Headmaster’s office.

Jamie: He needed to get into the Headmaster’s office then, as well.

Mikey: He needed to be able to get in, as well, and be able to talk to Dumbledore.

Les: So he snuck in before he was Headmaster.

Mikey: Yeah, he probably snuck in because, again, there’s probably nobody there other than maybe Filch and Mrs. Norris, or something like that. And I am sure that Snape could have probably avoided them.


Tangent: Harry is a Horcrux


Emerson: And for a completely unrelated tangent here, I just want to, just real quick. Ben and I, we spent the entire summer take – every book, we went to over 35 cities and every city we went to we spent usually a good half hour just defending a certain theory that was not popular, and…

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: …I just want to take a moment real quick to toot our own horn: Harry is a Horcrux. And…

[Audience cheers]

Ben: We called it. We called it.

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Give it up for Ben Schoen and Emerson Spartz. They know what’s up.

Ben: And Jamie Lawrence, who also wrote the book.

Mikey: And Jamie Lawrence too, I forgot. Sorry, Jamie. Sorry, Jamie, you’re always right to me.

Emerson: But it’s just extremely – I – we just feel extremely vindicated now because everybody hated us for liking that theory and we got so much pressure to, like, to give in, right, Ben?

Ben: Mhm. Thank god, we held firm. We held firm.

Andrew: We still haven’t released the Los Angeles Leaky Mug because there was a big debate there.

Ben: Oooh, between…

Andrew: And we should still release it, just to…

Emerson: It was basically – I had it out with John and Melissa over the Horcrux theory. It was pretty, pretty intense.

Andrew: And Melissa was paging through the book the entire time trying to prove them wrong.

Ben: And then a few days later we get this e-mail from Melissa saying, “Oh, I have it now. There’s no way you can get your way out of this one.” She gave us like this big explanation for why Harry couldn’t be a Horcrux, how it was absolutely impossible for him to be a Horcrux.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: And then she went to PotterCast.com and made the same post, and yeah.

[Andrew and audience laughs]

Mikey: Dumbledore says, “Harry is a Horcrux.”

Ben: “Harry, you are the seventh Horcrux.”

Andrew: I got so excited when…

Ben: Bam!

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: …I read that line. Yeah.

Emerson: That was like Ben’s reaction, he’s just like, “AAAHHH!”

Ben: I just went nuts.

Jamie: Okay, next question.


Question: House Ghosts


Steven: Okay, I’m Steven, I’m 13, and I’m from Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan.

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Wooo! Pickle Pack member, too.

Steven: And I was wondering about the House Ghosts. We learn a lot about them at the end of the seventh book because we learn that the Grey Lady from Ravenclaw was the daughter of Rowena Ravenclaw. And she was killed by the Bloody Baron. And I was just wondering, like the other two ghosts, the Fat Friar and Nearly Headless Nick, if they have some relation to Hogwarts, like some event in their life happened there that made them the ghost of Hogwarts. So, I was wondering if we might find out about that when she writes the Encyclopedia. So…

[Someone in the audience speaks]

Andrew: Not if, she said she would. She said she was going to.

Jamie: That is the kind of thing she would write about, the Hogwarts’ ghosts.

Andrew: We don’t know when, it might be a while.

Jamie: That is the kind of thing she’d write about, Hogwarts’ ghosts and their background. Because she said she’s going give background on a lot of characters, Dean Thomas, specifically.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: So, there’s going to be a lot of information in there.

Andrew: Yeah.

Emerson: And she did mention that right now she’s writing two different things. One of which is for kids and the other isn’t. So I think she may be working on the Encyclopedia as the one for kids, or it maybe even something else.

Jamie: Yeah, probably.

Emerson: And the one for adults would be some kind of – like I really think she’s going to write fiction, and it could be crime fiction or mystery. She obviously loves mysteries, so…we’ll see.

Andrew: Well, she’s been working on a children’s book. A short one, a very short one, but no word about that yet, like what exactly it’s about. So, let’s go here and then you can come up. Hi!


Question: Ron’s Character


Carla: Hello, my name is Carla Cost and I’m with the Central Michigan University Chapter of Dumbledore’s Army.

[Audience cheers]

Carla: That’s right, we’re cool. And the thing that I really wanted to point out is, we were talking about how Hermione had changed so much as a character, but I think we kind of neglected Ron a little bit, and the reason I bring that up, especially between Harry and Ron – their relationship – is the part where Ron sort of comes back and admits that he was wrong. And I just think that that is such a departure from the fourth book when he couldn’t even apologize for not believing in Harry and sort of not talking to him for half the year.

Emerson: But he did eventually, though.

Carla: Not really.

Emerson: Well, like…

Mikey: That’s how guysa pologize.

Ben: He didn’t apologize, but he came back…

Carla: Not in the same way.

Jamie: That is how guys apologize.

Mikey: That’s how – come on, me and Emerson just made up in front of all you guys. That’s how we do that.

Emerson: See, we were feuding.

[All talking at once]

Carla: But that was a Book 7, sort of, apology. There was a hug.

Mikey: That’s tomorrow’s talk.

[Carla laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Emerson: That was also the feud, you know?

Mikey: On, Ron.

Emerson: …the fight in Book 7, it was a much bigger fight than the one in Book 4, I thought, because the circumstances were so much different, but I do agree. Ron has matured, somewhat.

[Audience laughs]

Carla: I mean he’s still the same Ron, but I think that he’s come a long way, since…

Emerson: He has, yeah.

Ben: But now he’s read a book on how to charm a witch. Or whatever it was.

[Audience laughs]

Carla: Yeah.

Emerson: Thus doubling his knowledge of the subject, probably.

Mikey: Is Harry considered a witch? Did he charm Harry?

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: He may have used some of the techniques, Mikey.

Mikey: I don’t know, we have to read more into it.

Jamie: Okay, we should stop this conversation right now.

Mikey: [laughs] Let’s stop.

Jamie: I can’t hear any more from this.

Andrew: Thank you. This woman right here.


Question: Quirrell and Horcruxes


Kelly: Hi, my name’s Kelly, I’m from Converse Township, and I want to talk to you guys about Professor Quirrell a little but. Now that we know all of the Horcruxes and how they were determined and found out and destroyed, what do you guys think about, or I guess what’s the common theory about what Quirrell was, as far as had he stumbled upon a Horcrux? Had he – how did Voldemort posses him and does it have anything to do with the Horcruxes?

Ben: I think, okay, to me a Horcrux – the Horcruxes themselves, the night that Voldemort was killed it wasn’t like Pettigrew or someone had to go activate a Horcrux so that piece of soul could be floating around or whatever, he was just that, “Vapormort,’ as I like to call it.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: He was just that apparition of his former self, you know, it was that soul or whatever you want to call it, floating around, and as long as the Horcruxes remained on the earth that airy soul, or whatever, can remain also.

Kelly: And so that’s what…

Ben: And so that’s what possessed Quirrell. Quirrell didn’t find a Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah, but I think it was like a voluntary possession from Quirrell. I don’t think Voldemort took over him, I think there was like a talk and he persuaded him and he manipulated him to his will.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: And that’s why he was on the back of his head for an entire book.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: That must be weird.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Can you imagine walking backwards to see? It’s like…

Emerson: Can you imagine showering?

Jamie: That must have been tough. They must have practiced that a bit.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: Oh, that would have been weird. It’s like, “Don’t get the soap in my eye.”

Emerson: No privacy there.

Jamie: Yeah, and when he sits down on the toilet Voldemort just has to…

Mikey: Yeah, every time.

Jamie: …face a wall for like…

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: …fifteen minutes.

Andrew: All right. Another question?

Jamie: That can’t be fun. Next one?


Question: The Snitch – A Tribute to Past Books


Robin: I’m Robin Cohen and I’m from Lavonia, Michigan.

[Audience claps and cheers]

Robin: And so when I was reading the first one I always thought it was like kind of corny how Harry caught the Snitch in his mouth, and that was like he swallowed it, I couldn’t really see that, but I thought it was pretty cool how it – I never thought it would tie back into the seventh book where it would’ve – it helped him so much, because when he was trying to like see if it would open and it touched his hand and, you know, if he would have just caught it then it would’ve opened and they would have saw that the stone was in it, but he did the mouth thing and I thought that was pretty cool.

Andrew: Yeah, in this book there’s a lot of things that you see coming back. I think it was just Jo’s way of paying tribute to everything in the past six books. Take, for example, Oliver Wood making the random appearance in the book.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: Mikey commented the other day that he’s definitely going to be one of the things cut from the actual movie.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: Yeah, sorry, Wood.

Jamie: I don’t know, Mikey, he’s pretty central.

Ben: There’s still – there’s probably still that petition out there, I don’t know if you guys remember that.

Jamie: Yeah, “Bring Oliver Wood Back.”


Other Things That Returned


Andrew: Yeah. I’m trying to – what other little things were in the book? I just remember reading throughout the entire book a lot of little things that reflect…

[Audience members yell]

Andrew: Norbert, yeah. Ummm, what’s that?

[Audience member says, “Norberta”]

Andrew: Norberta, ahh good point! Good point!

Mikey: Oh yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Percy Weasley coming back was good, as well.

Andrew: Percy Weasley coming back was good.

Ben: I was hoping we’d see the Mirror of Erised. I was hoping…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …that was going to be one of the Horcruxes. Like the Ravenclaw one or something.

[Audience member says, “The Chamber of Secrets”]

Andrew: The Chamber of Secrets coming back, yeah, that was another thing. Ron suddenly learning Parselmouth.

Ben: No, it’s because he had the diary, dude. Not the diary but the locket.

Andrew: The Horcrux around his – yeah.

MuggleCast 104 Transcript (continued)


Tangent: Ron Speaking Parseltongue


Emerson: I still don’t really understand that at all.

Jamie: Understand what?

Emerson: Like, why Ron was able to just hiss and suddenly speak Parseltongue.

Jamie: Hiss? Yeah.

Ben: Well, I don’t think it was that simple. I mean the reason that Ginny was able to open the Chamber of Secrets is because she had the diary and Ron had the locket so it’s like the same thing.

Jamie: But I always thought…

Emerson: But for, I mean for destroying the Horcrux, I mean Harry had to use the basilisk venom to do it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Emerson: And Ron was able to open it up just by…

Jamie: Hissing.

Emerson: If that’s all you need to speak Parseltongue, wow.

Mikey: Hiss.

Emerson: It just seemed it was kind of strange.

Jamie: And Em, Em, I always thought the ability to speak Parseltongue was an ability rather than a learned thing. So, you can’t learn it like another language here.

Emerson: Kind of like how chimps – we can speak chimp. [makes chimp noises]

Jamie: But they can’t speak human.

Emerson: But they can’t talk like this, you know?

Andrew: Someone is saying that imitating the sounds works the same way, but I don’t…

[Audience members talking]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Ron didn’t know what he was saying. That’s true, yeah.

Emerson: You can listen to the zillions of combinations. You can listen to someone try to speak English and then you probably won’t get any English right anyway, because you can just make up words that sound like English, but actually aren’t.

Jamie: That’s true.

Emerson: Because if you…

Ben: I think it’s clear that the reason he was able to do it was because he had the locket. I mean…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …he was wearing the locket, otherwise…

Andrew: He just imitated the sound.

[Audience members talk]

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Oh wait, there’s a lot of debate going on. What?

Ben: More with the book.

Jamie: That normally means we’re wrong.

Ben: Andrew, I swear he was wearing the thing.

[Audience member talking]

Ben: Get mad, okay? Get angry!

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: We’ll double check.

Ben: Get fired up.

Andrew: Yesterday in Chicago everyone seemed to agree with it, but, come on up.

Mikey: Well, hold on one second about that. The Chamber of Secrets is only supposed to open for the heir of Slytherin, by him having the locket and even having a little bit of the essence of Voldemort’s soul, who was the heir of Slytherin, it would have opened for him. So, I back Ben completely on it. It was destroyed but it had been there, you know what I mean?

[Audience talking]

Mikey: He had the cup! He had the cup.

Ben: He had one of the Horcruxes, that’s all I meant, okay?

Mikey: Exactly.

Ben: We’re just splitting hairs here, people. Come on.

[Audience applauds and cheers]

Mikey: So, regardless, it opened because he had part of Voldemort with him.

Andrew: Somebody could have just said that.

Mikey: Someone could have just said…

Ben: He had a Horcrux in some shape of form.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Ben, Ben, that was an excellent test, and they passed. They passed with flying colors, well done. They realized it was the cup.

Mikey: You guys did read the book.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: All right, guys.

Jamie: Well done.

Mikey: Ben was right. All right, let’s go on.

Jamie: Next question.

Andrew: Maybe we should read the book now. So it’s…

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: You think they’re going to find us out, Andrew?

Ben: I only read the Spark Notes, sorry.

Mikey: “Chapter One.”


Question: The Malfoys


Alex: Okay, hi, I’m Alex and I’m from Allen Park, Michigan.

[Audience says, “Wooo!”]

Alex: Wooo! Really small. I was wondering – I thought it was interesting how in the seventh book it was like the Malfoys were like this amazing family now, they like help him out just because they’re worried about Draco. And before it didn’t seem like they really cared. And now it’s – yeah, and now it’s just like, “Oh my gosh, my son!”

Emerson: I agree, that was a bit…

Ben: I think that came from Narcissa more than Lucius, but eventually, in the end, he came around. I don’t know, I thought it was kind of a sweet way for the Malfoys to go out, because I thought Draco and Lucius were definitely goners, but we were wrong.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Even in Half-Blood Prince it seemed like Narcissa cared for Draco. She was worried for him, wasn’t she?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So, next question?

Ben: Because the difference is that their loyalty to their son was much greater than their loyalty to Voldemort.


Question: Harry and Voldemort Related


Kate: Okay. I’m Kate from Manchester, Michigan.

Emerson: Interrupt first. I remember you. You were – I did an event in Merriville, Indiana a couple weeks ago, and I remember it was way after the event was over. She came with her family afterwards.

Kate: Yeah, we went late.

Emerson: Yeah, we just saw this girl come in with a MuggleCast shirt way after the event and went, “Hmmm, wonder what she’s here for?”

Kate: Yeah, but I was just thinking. Okay, if Voldemort was descended from the Peverells, and Harry was, wouldn’t they be related? I just think that’s weird.

Andrew: Like, distant, distant, distant.

Kate: Right.

Ben: Like, third cousins second removed.

Kate: Yeah, but I don’t think Harry’s related to Slytherin, because that would just be weird.

Andrew: That’s like saying – there’s a saying, we’re all five degrees away from Kevin – six degrees away from Kevin Bacon.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: I haven’t confirmed that with me, personally, I don’t know if anyone has, but yeah, so let’s get someone from over on this side?

Jamie: Yeah.


Question: The Elder Wand’s Master


John: I’m John, 26, from Wayne, Michigan.

Andrew: Wooo!

John: MySpace slash orco33

Andrew: Thank you! You’re the first person to actually do it.

John: Yeah, I thought so.

[Audience laughs]

John: I’m still wondering why Harry was the master of the Elder wand. He took Draco’s Hawthorne wand from him, but he didn’t take the Elder wand from him, so why was he the master of the Elder wand?

Ben: It’s because – Mikey?

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: Okay, …

Jamie: Yeah, this theory that Mikey’s been doing for this has been amazing. Go on, Mikey.

Mikey: Okay, well, all right. Voldemort first went to Ollivander and asked why did his wand not beat Harry’s, blah, blah, blah, and all of that. And he asked Harry once Harry rescued Ollivander, does the person who gained possession, or win the wand, have to kill him? No. That’s what actually Dumbledore did to Grindelwald. He didn’t kill him; he still had the wand. The person that disarmed and actually won the wand from Dumbledore was Draco. It doesn’t mean he even has to have it in possession. He is now the master of it. The wand recognizes the master, regardless.

Ben: Once he was defeated, though.

Mikey: I agree, but he also – Harry disarmed and defeated Draco, who was the master of that wand. The master recognized that Harry was the one who had earned it, who won it. Now, afterwards, even though Voldemort thought he was the master, the wand recognized that Harry was the actual master and would not try to kill it’s own master, because it recognized that he was the rightful owner. That’s why the spell backfired.

Ben: Give it up for Mikey B., everybody.

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Yeah, all right!

[Audience applauds]

Mikey: All right.

Ben: A wonderful explanation.

Andrew: Okay, this girl right here.


Question: Ron and Hermione


Catherine: Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m from Detroit, Michigan, and I was just wondering – I just wanted to say finally, Harry – I mean, Hermione and Ron, I mean, give it up, finally!

[Audience cheers]

Catherine: And I just wanted to know what you guys – if you thought it was going to turn out any other way.

Andrew: I didn’t think it would turn out with a kid named Hugo.

Ben: No.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: Yeah, Hugo’s kind of – that was a bit weird.

Emerson: See, I actually thought – I was a secret Harry/Hermione shipper all these years.

Andrew: Ooo!

Ben: Ooo!

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: On the website, when I called all Harry/Hermione shippers delusional, I was just kidding, you know? It was all a front.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: I thought it was funny, though – I thought it was kind of funny how Jo gave Harry and Hermione shippers a little bit of hope in that one instant when Ron comes up upon the whatever they were, the figures that, yeah, started making out.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Emerson: I feel like she may have dashed their hopes a few times in the past, to where they shouldn’t be getting their hopes up for any reason at all.

[Audience laughs]

Ben: Yeah, but you don’t know Harry/Hermione shippers, they…

Emerson: I think I do, actually.

Ben: …cling to every strand of hope possible.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: What about when they actually finally got together and kissed? Like, can you actually imagine Harry going like, “Guys? We have a Horcrux…” like, tapping his foot.

Jamie: I can’t let that go. I’m sorry, Mikey.

[Mikey laughs]

Jamie: I can’t let that go. That’s my joke that I’ve used every single show so far.

[Audience laughs]


Stolen Jokes


Ben: Mikey has stolen, like, ten peoples’ jokes this show.

Andrew: There’s been this running thing on this tour where we started out the first show with all these new and original hilarious jokes, and now with it being the fifth show in now, we’re all just stealing each other’s jokes. Whoever can steal the joke first. So Mikey’s thing about give it up for Molly Weasley was stolen by Ben yesterday, I think?

Mikey: No, twice. Twice in a row! And so I had to do it right away in the show, so Ben couldn’t do it.

Andrew: Before I said, “Mikey, don’t even waste time. Don’t even say hello, just go right out and say, “Give it up for Molly Weasley.”

Mikey: Because, come on! Molly Weasley, everyone! She was awesome!

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: See! Yeah! Take that, Ben Schoen.

Jamie: Ben, Ben, do you want to form like an alliance with me against Mikey stealing jokes?

Emerson: Remember Kreacher. Remember Kreacher.

Jamie: I’m going to quick fire all of Mikey’s jokes out straight away.

Ben: I would tell you how many jokes, today, Mikey’s stolen of mine, but that would take way too long because it’s been like ten.

Andrew: [laughs] There is one thing you’ve been doing every show you haven’t done yet.

Jamie: Oh, Ben, Ben, I think it’s nice to have an inspirational quote every show. You know, something that teaches us about life, so do you have any?

Ben: [imitating Dumbledore] :It is our choices, Harry, far more than our abilities, that determine what we truly are.”

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: Thank you, Ben.

Ben: Thank you, thank you.

Andrew: All right, we’re almost out of time, so a couple more from this side.


Question: Harry’s Spells


Ella: I’m Ella from Lavonia, and I was wondering why you think that Harry never does anything worse to all the Death Eaters that are coming after him than stun them or use Expelliarmus? And why doesn’t he do anything worse? I mean they keep coming after him.

Ben: Because he doesn’t know anything.

[Audience laughs]

Ella: I mean, you’d think he’d do something!

Emerson: If you’re looking at it from a completely rational point of view, you think that Harry should at least do the full body-bind or something that’s not going to wear off right away.

Ella: Yeah.

Emerson: Or something – because, he’ll Impedimenta them or something and thirty seconds later they’ll be chasing him again, and you’re thinking, “Harry, what are you doing, man?” I don’t really understand. You can’t be too rational about spell choice, because it seems like you could only use like – you just use Imperio on every single person in a battle and then you’d have your own little army of people.

[Audience laughs]

Emerson: I mean, you can’t rationalize it. I’ve tried too hard; my brain hurts.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: All right, thank you.

Emerson: This guy.

Andrew: Is your twin here today?

[Audience Member says something]

Andrew: Oh, okay.

[Audience laughs]


Question: Room of Requirement in Movie 5


Steve: It’s Steve from Jackson again. I was just curious, if anyone else was angry that they were able to break into the Room of Requirement in the fifth movie.

[Audience agrees]

Steve: Because I was – It totally defeats the point of the room for the rest of the movies.

Andrew: I agree. These are the stupid cuts that they have to keep making in order to cut down the movie.

Ben: But how does it…?

Mikey: But doesn’t that make you hate Umbridge a little bit more because she’s the one that actually does it? I’m sorry, Ben. I hate her.

Andrew: It was just like, they had already screwed up. They had Neville walking in front of the wall and it just opened up. And then, so it was just this dumb little thing. They do have to cut out on time, but it’s a shame that they do this.


Question: Number of Horcruxes


Katie: Okay, my name’s Katie Rick, I’m from New Baltimore, Michigan, and I was just wondering if anybody else was kind of confused about the fact that Voldemort had said the entire time that he wanted a seven part soul. Now that would include the part of soul that was in his body. So, if Harry was the seventh Horcrux, and there were seven Horcruxes, then wouldn’t it technically be more?

Jamie: He didn’t mean to make Harry, though. That’s the…

Katie: Oh, yeah, that’s true.

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: So, he’d of had six, originally, and then he was hoping to kill Harry, so then he’d of had the six Horcruxes and himself, so the seventh one would still be in him.

Katie: Wait, but…

Jamie: He accidentally made Harry a Horcrux, so he split his soul one final time one time when he didn’t mean to, and half of it went inside Harry. Dumbledore says it got encased – no, sorry, it latched…

Ben: It latched itself to the only living soul in the room.

Jamie: …itself to the only living thing in the room, which was Harry, so he didn’t mean to make Harry a Horcrux.

Katie: But wasn’t he going to make a seventh Horcrux with him, or…

Jamie: No, he already had seven.

Mikey: No, he had six.

Ben: With Nagini. Nagini was the…

Jamie: Was the final one, yeah.

Ben: Right, and he hasn’t had Nagini that long, I don’t think. I don’t think he made Nagini into a Horcrux until after he got his body back or the death of Frank Bryce.

Jamie: That’s a point.

Ben: So, actually, there be eight Horcruxes then? Or…

Jamie: Yeah, there were eight. There were eight in the end, yeah.

Katie: Ha, ha, Voldemort sucks.

[Audience laughs]

Mikey: No, eight pieces of soul, seven Horcruxes.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, because there’s still the master soul that Ben calls it, you know, it’s fooling around.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: All right, one last question for today. You corrected me when I said Norbert was – I said Norbert. Norberta. Norbert’s a girl, right?


Question: Draco’s Son


Collin: Yeah. I’m Colin from Fenton, Michigan…

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Wooo!

Collin: …and I was thinking that in the epilogue when they saw Draco and his wife and his son, it was kind of mean to name his son Scorpius.

[Audience laughs and cheers]

Collin: Scorpius, the evil…

Andrew: Would you like to have been named Scorpius?

Collin: No.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: How old are you?

Emerson: I would love to be named Scorpius!

[Audience laughs]

Colin. I’m ten.

Andrew: Ten years old. Give it up for this guy, he’s a smart kid.

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Scorpius! What did you think of Hugo?

Collin: I didn’t like that.

Andrew: Hugo. Yeah, it was weird. We had read the epilogue before the book came out, and I could have sworn it was a fake because of the name Hugo. I was like, “Jo wouldn’t name someone Hugo!”

[Audience laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, shouldn’t you check that no one here is named Hugo first, or has any friends named Hugo?

Andrew: Any Hugos in the audience?

Ben: Actually, no, the thing about Hugo is, somebody sent me an e-mail that gave a reason, like, what Hugo means, like the etymology.

Andrew: Why?

[Audience members talk]

Andrew: Sorry, what?

[Audience members talk]

Jamie: Oh yeah.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: Oh!

Ben: Well why…

Emerson: It could’ve been Harry or something. They didn’t have to name him Hugo!

Ben: Harry, yeah.

Andrew: Why not Harold?

Emerson: Because Harold’s not much better than Hugo.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: So, I read reason that it was something to do with the etymology behind the name – the word Hugo, whatever it was. It was good, though. That’s all I remember, but next show.

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: The Scorpius name was probably from the constellation. You know, Draco’s a constellation, you know, Scorpius, there’s probably a trend there.

Jamie: Sirius.


Alex and The Remus Lupins


Andrew: Is Alex around here?

Ben: Alex Carpenter!

Mikey: [sighs] Where is Alex at?

Ben: [sings] Give me some of that Wizard Rock! Where is he at?

Jamie: He’s elusive.

Mikey: We can have a…

Andrew: He’s warming up. Is he coming? What’s he doing? Why…

Mikey: We can have a… He’s working.

Andrew: There he is.

Mikey: Oh, there he is.

Andrew: Alex Carpenter, everybody, The Remus Lupins!

[Audience cheers]

Andrew: Alex, how you doing today?

Alex: This store is really big.

Andrew: Huh?

Alex: I was just in the back, but it took all that time to get up here.

Andrew: You’ve got your set list right now, you’re all ready to go up?

Alex: Yeah. I forgot what songs we were supposed to play.

Andrew: We’re going to get out of here for now, but Alex is going to play some awesome Wizard Rock…

Alex: Yes!

Andrew: …music in just a minute.

[Audience cheers]

Ben: And once again, once again, before we go, thank you to the wonderful Borders staff, and also, thank you, Adam Bromberg, running the merchandise table. He’s been great, and wonderful, and fun, and awesome.

[Audience cheers]

Emerson: And speaking of merchandise. You would… It’s been over six months since we’ve been able to sell MuggleNet t-shirts, and for the first and last time, you have an opportunity to buy them now for $15. The ones we’re wearing up here, they’re slightly different, but they’re cooler. We’re not allowed to sell them on the website anymore, but we have some in stock, so…

Andrew: Also, MuggleCast t-shirts, Remus Lupins shirts too.

Ben: And other merchandise.

Andrew: All cost $15. How much are your CDs? How much are they, five?

Alex: Just come and say, “Hi!” after the show. Let’s not do a commercial right now.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay. All right, fine. Also, I’d like to thank Brandon back here for doing the audio. Thanks, buddy!

[Audience cheers]

Mikey: Give it up for Brandon.

Alex: And thank you guys for coming and being awesome, right, Andrew?

Andrew: Yes! Yes, Alex, yes. One other thing. Just stick around here. We’ll meet you guys after the Wizard Rock show. So, stick around, Alex is going to start up.

Alex: Bye everybody.

Andrew: Bye, everyone!

———————–