Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #734, Silent Chaos (HBP Chapter 11, Hermione’s Helping Hand)
Cold Open
Micah: Are you able to cast any of these spells nonverbally? That would be really unfair. I mean, I’m sure we’ve all done it, right, where we’re walking past somebody, and inside of our heads, we’re like, “Avada Kedavra.” [laughs]
Andrew: Yeah, die.
Laura: Oh, yeah. All the time. Totally normal.
Show Intro
[Show music plays]
Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the world of Harry Potter. I’m Andrew.
Eric Scull: I’m Eric.
Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.
Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.
Andrew: Happy New Year, everybody, and we’re your Harry Potter friends talking about the books and the movies and upcoming TV show, and whatever else 2026 throws our way, so make sure you press that follow button in your podcast app and you’ll never miss an episode of the show. And this week, watch with us as Hermione breaks about ten school rules and isn’t sorry about it, because we are discussing Chapter 11 of Half-Blood Prince, “Hermione’s Helping Hand.” By the way, did you all get any Harry Potter stuff from Santa or anybody else over the holidays?
Laura: I got a really cute Honeydukes blanket.
Andrew: Aw.
Laura: Yeah, it’s really cute, and it’s very… it doesn’t look like… I’m sure it is official merch, but it doesn’t look like official merch. It definitely looks like something that somebody made. And it’s so soft; I really like it.
Eric: Aw.
Micah: Nice.
Eric: I’ve been paying close attention to the MuggleCast patrons group on Facebook as the Secret Santa gifts roll in. People are really happy with some of the gifts they’ve been getting this year.
Micah: I really enjoy that. I will say, that is one of the longstanding patron activities…
Andrew: Traditions.
Micah: … that the patrons created themselves, the listeners created themselves, that I always enjoy. I did get a Hogwarts hoodie with the crest on the front, so I’ve been wearing that. It’s very comfortable.
Andrew: Have you guys heard of the soap brand Dr. Squatch?
Laura: Oh, yes.
Andrew: Santa got me the Harry Potter collection of Dr. Squatches, and there’s one for each Hogwarts House. So I’ve opened up the Slytherin one thus far, and now I’m lathering myself in the smells of Slytherin every day. [laughs]
Micah: Which is what? What does Slytherin smell like?
Andrew: [laughs] Well, some of you might say it smells like garbage, but…
Eric: Swamp.
[Micah laughs]
Laura: I bet it’s something like sage and moss. Something earthy.
Andrew: Yeah, hold on. Let me pull it up. Oh my God, there’s a Voldemort soap too.
Laura: I don’t think he uses soap.
Micah: So we all agree that we’re going to post pictures with our gifts, right?
Andrew: [laughs] We could. It smells like snake grass?
Micah: Andrew’s video will go on the Only Fans.
Andrew: Apparently it smells like snake grass.
Eric: Oh, snake grass. I mispronounced snake grass a moment ago.
Andrew: Too late. I heard what you said, Eric, and it was very mean. Now I know what you think of Slytherins.
Eric: Actually, when I think of Squatch, the brand of soap to begin with, that’s what I think of, because it has Bigfoot on the brand.
Micah: Well, Andrew, now you know, just clean your armpits and your bum with Hufflepuff.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: That’s right.
Andrew: I use each Hogwarts House soap for a different part of my body. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah. First of all, that’s amazing. If that happens, you’ve got to video that. And also, we’ll be there for you, Andrew.
Laura: Yeah, video that.
[Everyone laughs]
Andrew: Listeners, let us know where I should use the Gryffindor soap. [laughs]
Eric: Well, listen, guys, this is the year MuggleCast turns 21. We’re adults now.
Andrew: Ravenclaw soap I’ll use on my head, because Ravenclaw, wise…
Micah: To get smart?
Andrew: Yeah, exactly. To get smart.
Laura: No, don’t use soap on your hair.
Andrew: I know. Well, everywhere else but my hair. Everywhere else.
Laura: No, don’t use it on your… that’s not made for your face.
Andrew: Okay.
Laura: You need different cleansers for your… oh my gosh. See, we’re 21, but I’m still over here having to educate about skincare.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: Laura, nobody… we were raised male; nobody taught us.
Laura: Well, I will teach you.
Andrew: Coming to the Patreon at the $1,000 a month tier: Andrew bathes with different Hogwarts House soaps. Stay tuned. Must pledge for a year upfront. [laughs]
Micah: People will pay for it. I would not throw that out there. People will play for it.
Andrew: Okay, well, Micah, I agree. And if you love this show, listeners, we invite you to become a member of our community at Patreon.com/MuggleCast. We have exciting plans for the show this year, besides showering videos. We’re planning some new look forward and look back episodes that join our Chapter by Chapter episodes, so we could use your support in making those happen. And by pledging, you’ll instantly receive two bonus episodes of the show every month, ad-free episodes, access to our livestreams, and a lot more. And if you’re looking for other ways to support us, you can leave us a review in your favorite podcast app, or you can tell a fellow Muggle about our show. And you can visit MuggleCastMerch.com to buy official show gear, like the “Security Consultant” hat that I’m wearing tonight.
Chapter by Chapter: Pensieve
Andrew: All right, and now it’s time for Chapter by Chapter, and like we said, we’re discussing Half-Blood Prince Chapter 11, “Hermione’s Helping Hand.”
Micah: Ron knows all about that.
Eric: [laughs] Oh, Jesus.
Micah: Because she Confunded Cormac. Her helping hand.
Andrew: Got it. Got it. We’re feeling fresh after the holiday break.
[Micah laughs]
Eric: You know, I’ve got to say, this chapter title… that’s Micah’s first adult joke of the year, and I’m living for it. It’s hilarious. Also, this chapter title is a very… this chapter title is great PR. “Hermione’s Helping Hand,” a.k.a. she breaks about ten school rules. Anyway, we’ll get into that, of course.
Micah: Lots of alliteration.
Laura: It’s for the greater good, okay?
Eric: The GG? The greater good? Helping hand for the greater good? HH for the GG? We last discussed Chapter 11 of Half-Blood Prince on MuggleCast 391, over eight years ago. This was on October 29, 2018. The episode, for some reason, was called “Sluggybear.”
Dumbledore: What you are looking at are memories. This is the most important memory I’ve collected. It is from MuggleCast Episode 391.
[Sound of memory uncorking]
[Sound of plunging into Pensieve]
Andrew: People are just coming out for tryouts just to, what, be in Harry’s presence? See him around? Be near him? It seems just very immature, and I think if they wanted to take these practices more seriously, maybe they should have had some more vetting involved.
Eric: I mean, it’s pretty ridiculous. Even Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws turn out to try out. [laughs] For the Gryffindor Quidditch team. It’s really… and Harry’s just got to go, “Get off the pitch!”
Andrew: See, there should be a rule at Hogwarts that you are kicked out of your House if you are going to try out for another House’s Quidditch team. That’s treason!
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: I would be pissed at my fellow students.
[Sound of exiting Pensieve]
Dumbledore: This memory is everything.
Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion
Eric: Let’s get on to the meat of the discussion, and the two topics we’ve singled out are also alliterative. We’re going to be talking about Hermione, then we’re going to be talking about Hagrid. This chapter, more than some others, features Hermione and the way that she influences events around the school. Of course, there’s the helping hand we referenced earlier, but there’s more stuff even before then. So it seems like Hermione is raising her hand in classes, which is much appreciated, because the overall workload has intensified and the overall complexity of their schoolwork has just gotten worse. And I don’t know about you guys, but have you ever been in class and you’re wondering what the heck is going on, but you’re too shy to ask, and then somebody else raises their hand and asks, and then the teacher gives a clarifying answer, and you’re like, “Oh, thank God somebody asked, because I didn’t know what was going on”?
Laura: Definitely.
Eric: I feel like that’s happening every day now for Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
Laura: Yeah, completely. And the secret to that kind of thing is if you have a question, statistically at least a couple other people have the same question, and they’re just too scared to ask, so ask the question.
Andrew: There are no stupid questions, as is liked to be said.
Eric: That’s kind of the point of education, isn’t it? Is ask questions. And the teacher doesn’t know what you don’t know until they test you, which is way too late to find out that you don’t know some stuff. The most interesting thing about this for me, though, is that both Transfiguration and Charms NEWT-level classes are requiring the students to know nonverbal spells. What’s interesting about this to me is nonverbal spells were taught by Snape, and I say taught – there’s an asterisk there – but I always pictured it as more of a Defense Against the Dark Arts thing, but for these other teachers’ classes to require it… remember, this year, not everyone’s taking Defense Against the Dark Arts. In fact, only 12 people are taking Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. So how is it that nonverbal spells were introduced to the other students? And do you think that McGonagall or Flitwick are taking time out of their day to explain it? Because if that’s the standard now, nonverbal spells, you would think that Harry and Ron would be – well, for two people; just naming two random students here – would be better at them. And as Harry notes throughout this chapter, people are turning purple in the face trying to figure it out or master it, but if this were the standard, again, Flitwick, McGonagall, all the Heads of House would be sitting the students down and showing them how to do it.
Laura: It just makes me wonder how much there is to show. The impression I get… and first of all, I think it’s totally valid to point out here that the way nonverbal spells work is not explained very well at all in the series, but I think we’re just meant to assume that people just have to sit there and try casting their incantation in their head and they just have to keep trying until they get it right, until they figure out what works for them, which isn’t a great system, admittedly.
Andrew: Yeah, and then it’s like, “What’s the problem here? Am I not being focused enough? Am I not being clear enough in my head? Is my mind not clear enough to begin with?”
Eric: “Did I remember the three D’s?”
Laura: “Do I not mean it?”
Eric: Well, and that’s the hardest part, too, because you would think also that after the introduction of nonverbal spells, combat would get so much more escalated in the Harry Potter books. It doesn’t, thank God, but if Harry had to contend with nonverbal spells… it really only happens at the end of this book with Snape, when he faces off against Snape briefly, but I don’t recall Harry always having to now, from this point forward, deal with other people – even Malfoy’s – nonverbal spells. Harry, for the most part, still remains verbal, and so does pretty much everybody else.
Micah: This just makes me think of a bunch of students sitting in class looking extremely constipated.
Laura: It’s kind of what it sounds like.
Eric: Thanks to Weasleys’ Wizard Weasleys, that can be all classes everywhere.
Micah: The other piece of it, though, to me, is nonverbal spells feels like something that should really be at an advanced level that not everybody should know how to do, and I almost see it as a threshold that witches or wizards reach. It’s not even necessarily age dependent; it’s just based on their learning and how advanced they become in any one particular area. Because presumably, as you’re saying, Eric, you could use nonverbal magic in almost any subject.
Eric: Right.
Micah: So the fact that it needs to be taught in Defense Against the Dark Arts doesn’t really make sense.
Andrew: But I do think nonverbal spells could be used in dangerous situations as kind of a last resort or a safety mechanism. If you’ve been kidnapped or somebody’s trying to attack you, you would probably want to use a nonverbal spell to avoid being caught. So I could see why they should be taught, because it feels pretty important. Does it matter in, I don’t know, Charms? Not necessarily, but in DADA, and even in Transfiguration, I think it could be very helpful to protect yourself.
Laura: I almost wonder if this is just a concept that is required academically, but just not something that most people use in common day-to-day life. It’s probably a bad example, but I’m thinking about when we were all in school and we were taking upper level math, and more often than not we were not allowed to use calculators because they wanted us to be able to show our work and that we understood the concept. Forget the fact that they told us, “You’ll never be walking around with a calculator in your pocket,” because that ended up being false.
Eric: That aged poorly.
Laura: Yes, it did. But at the same time, I could kind of see this – nonverbal spells – being something that is conceptually important in so far as people need to understand that it exists and it is an option, but you don’t necessarily need to be very good at it, because it seems like most people aren’t.
Andrew: Michele, who’s listening live tonight, also brings up an interesting question: “I wonder what that looks like in practice. All these nonverbal spells going around the room and causing things to happen.” It’d be like silent chaos.
[Eric laughs]
Laura: Right. Well, and think about how much they mess up when they’re doing verbal incantations. Think about the number of times we’ve seen things go haywire because people don’t cast a spell appropriately. Think about all the stuff that can go wild if people are trying nonverbal and they’re not good at that.
Micah: So one question I did want to ask – and this kind of fits nicely with what you just said, Laura – is related to the Unforgivable Curses, speaking of things going really awry. Are you able to cast any of these spells nonverbally? Because presumably, that would be really unfair. Somebody is just walking down the street, inside their head… I mean, how many…? I mean, I’m sure we’ve all done it, right, where we’re walking past somebody, and inside of our heads, we’re like, “Avada Kedavra.” [laughs]
Andrew: Yeah, die.
Laura: Oh, yeah. All the time. Totally normal.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: All the time. If I had a nickel.
Micah: How do you think Andrew created all of his Horcruxes, by the way?
Andrew: [laughs] It does look like there are a couple of instances of nonverbal Unforgivable Curses being cast by Bellatrix and Voldemort in Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows, respectively. But yeah, it does seem very unfair for such serious curses to be sneakily applied. Maybe it is extremely difficult to do, and only one of the best wizards of our time could possibly pull off such a thing. But unfortunately, it does seem possible.
Micah: Right, think about the battle at the Ministry between Dumbledore and Voldemort. You don’t hear any spells really being cast, right?
Andrew and Eric: Right.
Eric: And even at the cave at the end of this book, when Harry hears Dumbledore murmuring something, it’s a completely next level of magic that Harry is sure isn’t even English; doesn’t seem like Latin…
Micah: He’s constipated too.
Eric: Yeah, yeah, that’s just the sound he makes.
[Andrew laughs]
Eric: So it’s pretty interesting to think about… I mean, the way that the movies were adapted, too, pretty much, I don’t know, as of Movie 5, everybody’s nonverbal. It’s like the action sequences with the “Pew, pew, pew” spells going everywhere.
Andrew: True.
Eric: But at the same time, I think you should figure out, or be able to figure out… I mean, the AK has that telltale green light, but it’s not like by the time you see the green light you have any way of getting any kind of recourse against it. Something else that Hermione does in this chapter is she is the driving force for the kids to finally see and hopefully make up with Hagrid, and this is pretty much at the start of the chapter; they’re down at breakfast. Hermione notices that Hagrid is absent. This is a recurring thing with him; he’s not often there, but she says, “You guys, we have to go see Hagrid.” And it’s been enough time, and besides Quidditch practice, they’re not doing anything else today, so they agree that it’s going to happen. But Hermione in this chapter, still at breakfast, tells Harry, and I quote, that he’s “never been more fanciable” than he is now. Of course, in context, there is an explanation that makes sense for everybody, but out of context, I’m reading this going, “Is this one of the vestiges of people who felt that Harry and Hermione would be together romantically? Is this their big moment to shine where you have this quote from Hermione, where she’s calling Harry fanciable?” Did people’s…? Do any of us remember reading this and our heart leaping off the page, jumping for joy for this comment from Hermione?
Micah: Oh, yeah.
Andrew: Micah, were you a Harry/Hermione shipper?
Micah: Oh, totally. I was writing fanfiction. I was posting in the forums…
Andrew: Wow.
[Laura laughs]
Micah: … commenting, doing everything I could back when we were on dial-up.
Laura: Yeah, I moderated so much of Micah’s fanfiction back in the day.
[Micah laughs]
Andrew: Couldn’t keep up with all of it.
Laura: It got spicy.
Eric: The secret origins of how Laura knows Micah is because of all the editing she had to do, the moderating.
Laura: Exactly.
Micah: Yeah, we kept that on the down-low.
Eric: Amazing.
Laura: You heard it here first, folks.
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Andrew: Is this really how you feel, though, Micah?
Micah: No, to me, this is a very sibling-esque type of moment. It’s a brother/sister moment, and not brother-and-sister like Jamie and Cersei Lannister brother-and-sister.
[Eric laughs]
Micah: That’s just how I feel. I think Hermione is paying Harry a very nice compliment here.
Laura: I think it’s rooted in their relationship being platonic, and I just contend that almost no teenager is going to so publicly declare their romantic interest in this way. I try to put myself in the shoes of someone who’s 16 years old, and imagine telling them, “Oh, you’re fanciable.” Nah.
Andrew: Well, yeah, I mean, that could be a British thing, so maybe that’s part of the reason why we have a hard time.
Laura: Sure. Okay, yeah, it’s a British thing, but even if you…
Eric: If you Americanize it?
Laura: Okay, what if we Americanize it? “You’re very…”
Eric: Cute?
Andrew: Sharp?
Laura: What would we say?
Eric: Dateable?
Laura: Yeah, “You’re dateable.”
Andrew: A catch.
Laura: If you were a 16-year-old, would you say that to the person that you harbored secret feelings for?
Andrew: Right.
Laura: No.
Eric: Americanizing this really helps.
Andrew: That said, I do agree that this is platonic affection in action. And I love that, and it speaks to how close platonically Harry and Hermione actually are. She’s just a proud friend. She’s talking about how everyone is on his side now, they know he was telling the truth now, she’s happy he’s getting the attention and the reception that he deserves, and I think… I don’t know if I’ve said it on the show before, but I think platonic affection needs to be normalized more. It’s a good thing to do with your friends.
Laura: Absolutely.
Andrew: It’s a good thing to do more openly, because people are like, “Oh, I can’t be platonically affectionate, because then people might think it’s romantic.” It doesn’t have to be. You just want to call your friends hot.
Eric: [laughs] So here’s the full quote from Hermione: “It’s not Quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! You’ve never been more interesting, and frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable.” So we all agree that that’s just a friend talking, but you know who doesn’t see it that way? Ron Weasley. [laughs]
Laura: He’s just so jealous. He’s so jealous.
Eric: Ron proceeds to just bend over backwards trying to kind of argue? He inserts himself in the conversation; he’s like, “I’m tall. I have this. I have that.” He’s making a fool of himself here because he thinks it’s a competition. But here’s the thing… okay, so we laugh; it’s funny when Ron is like, “I’m tall.” But if he is capable… he’s their closest friend too. He should know by now that the ship has sailed on H/HR, on Harry/Hermione. He doesn’t, obviously – it’s a big part of Book 7 that he doesn’t – but if somebody that close to Harry and Hermione can still think that Hermione has romantic feelings for Harry, then anyone else surely can still.
Andrew: That’s true. Yeah, he should understand by now that this just is platonic.
Laura: I don’t know. I mean, again, let’s put ourselves in the shoes of being in this dynamic as teenagers. I don’t know that I had the level of maturity to understand the difference when I was this age, and… I don’t know. I could see myself feeling a little jealous if I were in Ron’s shoes and if I had his temperament.
Micah: Yeah. And Ron has always played second fiddle to Harry, and he’s likely looking at this situation and saying to himself, “Here we go again. Harry is going to get the girl that I’m really interested in.”
Eric: It’s interesting, though, because I think Hermione is trying to prepare Harry for Quidditch practice, right? So it’s totally on topic, totally… Harry says, “I don’t know how we’re going to get through all the students, because so many people signed up,” and Hermione says, “It’s not Quidditch, it’s you.” So it is topical, but certainly her comments, even if they are received… I think they’re received by Harry in the way that they’re meant. He’s like, “Oh my God, my friend said I’m fanciable, but she’s a girl, so I’m fanciful to girls?” All the same, it gets him warm, and that’s kind of how that works.
Micah: As it should.
Laura: Totally.
Micah: I mean, I feel like we all have moments that we can probably look back on from when we were younger, when we’ve been paid a compliment and we blush as a result of it. It’s just a natural reaction. And I think for Harry, this is probably the first time that somebody has said something like that to him in public…
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Micah: … where other people can hear it, and I think you get embarrassed on two fronts, right? One is the front of the person making the comment to you, and then the other is the fact there’s all these other people around who just heard what that person said.
Laura: Yep. It’s also a compliment that is not rooted in something that Harry did as an infant.
Micah: Yeah, he never got that.
Laura: It’s actually all about something that he actually did that he can remember now, that he chose to do.
Eric: Wow.
Laura: So he’s getting payoff for that a little bit, which is deserved.
Andrew and Eric: Yeah.
Eric: So unfortunately, I do think that Hermione’s comments kind of cause Ron to overreact. Actually, I feel nervous assigning blame to Hermione for Ron’s actions; that’s a problem. But essentially, this is where it starts… they’re walking down to Quidditch practice, and Lavender smiles at Ron or something and he sees it, and then he’s like, “Oh, another girl likes me. I should just ditch this ship and go off with her.” And this is where it starts, ultimately, is maybe in Hermione’s comment here to Harry that he’s fanciable. Ron feels the need to act out, and it’s going to get way worse from here. [laughs] So as we’re doing our read-through, I wanted to kind of pinpoint this moment and say, “Well, Ron’s choices are his own, but I think his ego right here is maybe bruised or in danger of being injured.”
Laura: Totally. Yeah, I mean, Ron is… he can be kind of immature, not all the time, but definitely in this realm of conversation he is. He’s also deeply insecure, and we also know that he is desperate for any kind of validation, and all it takes is for him to see, “Oh, there’s a girl who actually does like me and is expressing interest in me.” So Ron goes on in this book to make the rookie mistake that I’m sure we all made when we were young, of saying, “You know what? I’m going to date that person because they like me,” and not thinking for two seconds about whether or not you like them back.
Eric: Oh, that hits home. Well, Ron wants the glory of being in a relationship, and he doesn’t want to do anything to work for it.
Laura: Right.
Eric: And believe me, part of that analysis is autobiographical, where it’s like, if somebody shows interest in you or smiles at you, you think, “Hey, that’s my foot in the door.” And it’s not not your foot in the door, but let’s take a picture of who Ron really wants to be with right now: Hermione. In fact, he’s so threatened by Hermione saying somebody else is fanciable, even his best friend of the last five years, that Ron goes crazy about it. But if he wants Hermione to say that he is fanciable, or if he wants to date Hermione, why not pay her compliments?
Andrew: He should be talking to her about it. But in fairness to Ron, that foot in the door is important, and maybe there will be a part of him or anybody else who’s like, “Well, maybe this could work, so why not just give it a shot? Because they already like me,” which is half the battle when dating.
Eric: No, it’s true.
Andrew: You’ve got to find somebody who’s going to like you back. So if you find somebody who’s going to give you the light of day, then maybe you can just give it a shot to see if it will work out. So I get where Ron is coming from here, but yes, he has to shoot his shot with Hermione.
Eric: Yeah. Oh, it’s just so interesting, because I really did have the impression of… I took somebody to prom that showed interest, and I was… there was nothing romantic about it, but it’s like, “Oh, they showed me affection.” It was that foot in the door. It was making it easier to break down the barriers, I guess, between the two groups.
Andrew: And with prom, there’s always that pressure, too. You’ve got to find a date. You’ve got to have a date for the prom. We see this in Goblet of Fire. You might get a little desperate; maybe you’re not thinking clearly. I went to prom with a girl who ended up not being interested in guys later on in her life.
Eric: That’s fun.
Andrew: And for me, same, I wasn’t interested in girls later on. So it all worked out. [laughs]
Micah: You swapped.
Andrew: But it’s like we were the only two people who were interested in each other. Like, “Well, I gotta pick somebody, so I guess it’s going to be her.”
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Eric: It’s interesting. It’s like, do you think that you both knew that you were both queer?
Andrew: Maybe in our heart of hearts, yeah.
Eric: Not know-know, but subconsciously, because it’s always interesting when you hear those stories… when you think about those personal life stories, of like, “Oh, the people I surround myself with are safe.” It’s interesting. But anyway, the biggest thing Hermione does in this chapter, that warrants the name of the chapter being her helping hand, is interferes with the eventual Quidditch tryout. So after a ton of people show up – we talked about this – after a ton of treasonous Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs show up to the Gryffindor practice, and Harry sorts through them, it’s finally time for Keeper tryouts, and it’s between Ron and this guy that shows up out of nowhere, Cormac McLaggen. And Harry recognizes him from the Slug Club; actually, he doesn’t, because Cormac is the one who brings it up. And what I find to be interesting is that there’s some trickery afoot, right? Cormac is being tested, and so is Ron, on how many goals they can save out of five. Presumably, the Keepers-to-be are the ones that are tossing the Quaffle. And Cormac saves four out of five, and on the fifth one, shoots off in completely the opposite direction. Harry even notices that, due to his wide berth, Cormac probably doesn’t even need to move barely at all, and instead he just flies off in the wrong direction. That should have been more suspicious than it was. Ron manages to save all five of his goals. Harry is already suspicious of Hermione, sort of, but he lets the points speak for themselves. He doesn’t like Cormac; he’s a bit of a braggart, and he just says to Cormac, “Sorry, Ron scored more. My friend is in.” And I feel like there’s something uncomfortable here in that Harry eventually wrests a confession from Hermione in this chapter that she did, in fact, Confund Cormac. He’s not rushing for a rematch; he’s not rushing to basically retry these two Keepers. And ultimately, Hermione’s little justification of Cormac being the wrong personality, Harry agrees. But wouldn’t you, as a coach, want the best player, the best athlete on your team? So is this a moment where Harry is choosing to be a friend to Ron over being a Quidditch captain?
Micah: What I really don’t like about this whole situation, though, is that Hermione is taking this decision away from Harry. Because she Confunds McLaggen, presumably he would have saved all of them, and Ron would have saved all of them, and who knows? Maybe you go to a shootout of sorts, or maybe it’s Harry then, knowing that they both tied, has to make a choice. And to your point about do you go with the better athlete or do you go with your best friend? That’s a kind of minor life decision, though, that Harry is faced with, and he doesn’t have to face it, though, because Hermione basically makes the decision for him.
Andrew: And I guess his bias is at play, too, if he’s ultimately going with Ron, even though Ron didn’t presumably do better than Cormac.
Laura: Yeah, there is bias at play, for sure. But isn’t there something also to be said for team dynamics?
Micah: Sure.
Laura: The kind of team you want to have? So my question for you, Micah, is on a sports team, would a team captain typically pick the B athlete who’s a good team player over the A athlete who’s kind of an ass and doesn’t work well with anyone else?
Micah: Depends on the captain, depends on what kind of team they want, depends whether or not they want to win…
[Everyone laughs]
Micah: No, it’s hard to say, because you don’t know what situations are going to present themselves throughout the course of the season. And that question, Laura, actually raised another one for me, which is why don’t Quidditch teams have benches? You think about how physical this sport is, how dangerous it is. Injury is so prevalent.
Eric: We hear about it all the time.
Micah: And then when somebody’s knocked out, they’re out for that game. It’s not like you can sub somebody else in to take their place. And so this is a situation where I could almost see you having McLaggen as a backup to Ron, or Ron as a backup to McLaggen, depending on maybe who you’re playing against, right? Your opponent always dictates your roster in a lot of situations.
Andrew: Yeah, and there’s only seven people on a Quidditch team. That means seven people in each Hogwarts House get to actually play competitive Quidditch…
Micah: Right.
Andrew: … which doesn’t seem right. You should have probably 14 people…
Eric: At least.
Andrew: … a backup for each role. Yeah, I love that point, especially because of how dangerous Quidditch is. And not to mention how dangerous the whole darn school is! If you’re not getting injured in Quidditch, you’re getting injured because of something else happening at Hogwarts.
Eric: “Yeah, sorry, I just came here from Care of Magical Creatures class, and Hagrid’s got his half-giant brother, or full-giant brother teaching it now, and I’ve lost my arm. I’m sorry, I can’t… I got crushed.”
Andrew: Have I mentioned we have a Security Consultant hat for sale?
[“It’s starting to sound like a security nightmare!” sound effect plays with sirens]
Eric: No, they should have a bench. The unspoken thing here, though, too, is Cormac went first in these trials, and Hermione deliberately interfered with the fifth goal. Maybe others, but he managed to succeed. If Cormac had gotten a perfect score, Ron’s nerves would have been through the roof, right? There’s actually not a guarantee that Ron gets all five the way that he does with… I mean, maybe the reason Ron did so well is he’s like, “There’s a chance. There’s a chance I could outperform him. I gotta do it.” If Cormac had done so impressively as he was on track to do, maybe Ron didn’t even get five, and then what would Harry do?
Andrew: Also, one more comment about this whole team mindset: So we’re talking about who does Harry want on his team? We could also take this team question into a larger picture, more of a bird’s eye view. Harry has selected Hermione for his team getting through his seven years at Hogwarts. Hermione will be a little bad to get what she wants, or what the trio wants. We’ve seen other examples of Hermione having a bit of a bad side, like trapping Rita in a jar, or Marietta Edgecombe’s face, that little charm or curse that she put on the signup sheet.
Eric: She’s still wearing it, yeah.
Andrew: His teammate, Hermione, did that during Quidditch tryouts, and here are the results.
Eric: So there’s a little bit of hypocrisy there from Harry.
Andrew: Well, and almost like he supports it. He had a smirk, doesn’t he, in the scene when he’s confronting Hermione about it?
Laura: Well, yeah, he doesn’t like Cormac.
Andrew: He’s not mad.
Eric: No, he doesn’t like Cormac, but it betrays Harry’s better nature to look at Cormac and say, “I’m sorry, it’s down to goals. Ron did better, so he’s Keeper.” That betrays what’s really going on, which is Harry doesn’t like Cormac. And Harry could easily say, “Cormac, you’re too over the top, even though you and Ron both did five goals” or whatever. Say that happened; he has to make the decision. It’s still going to go to Ron. And Cormac is the kind of jerk who would absolutely shout at him, “Oh, favoritism this, somebody that…” and what’s Harry going to do? But I think the stronger reaction would have been to say, “Actually, no, you’re not a fit for this team. Even if you scored better than Ron, I don’t want you on this team because you’re too much of a name drop, or too much of an ass.”
Andrew: That’s the role of the captain. You have to have those hard conversations.
Eric: Yeah, exactly, so shying away from it, Harry doesn’t learn anything.
Micah: If McLaggen was maybe a little bit quicker on the uptake, he could have raised, “Hey, I felt something. Something weird happened on that one goal.” But he doesn’t choose to do that, which actually, to me, is kind of surprising, because if he is that good, presumably he would notice that somebody did something which caused him to move in one direction or another.
Eric: Maybe that’s Hermione’s skill level.
Laura: Yeah, that is surprising.
Micah: And this is also very reminiscent of Chamber of Secrets when the rogue Bludger is attacking Harry.
Laura: Right. Oh, that’s a great connection.
Eric: So I’m concerned that Hermione maybe even put herself at risk. If she had been caught doing what she was doing, if it wasn’t just Ron making an offhand comment, Harry noticing Hermione turns pink, Harry confronting Hermione… truly anybody next to Hermione… I mean, I guess she must have mastered the nonverbal version of the Confundus spell, because nobody points at Hermione. So why is it that Hermione should go so far to put it out? Does she do it because she loves Ron? Does she do it because she cares about the Gryffindor Quidditch team getting along and having the right people on it? This is sticking her neck out, and I’m curious what we think her motives are.
Laura: I think it’s mostly because she… I don’t know if she’s fully figured out what her feelings are for Ron yet, but I think they’re definitely flowering for sure, so whether consciously or subconsciously, I think that’s the main reason that she did it. And maybe the reasoning she’s telling herself to give Harry a reason is to say, “Oh, well, you wouldn’t want to work with him anyway, and I don’t want my friends to have to deal with somebody really annoying like that.”
Andrew: That, and I think she believes in Ron. He is a good Quidditch player. He does well during the tryouts; it’s not like he did terrible.
Laura: Yeah, she just doesn’t know that he’s going to end up being an alcoholic one day.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: If you take Cursed Child as canon, anyway.
Eric: Oh, goodness. And so we mentioned earlier that Hagrid was not in the Great Hall, and something that I find interesting is this dynamic of teachers missing lunch or not showing up for meals. My understanding is that the teachers, they sit at the head table. They are all there; they’re all present, probably, for most meals. And so I think of it a few ways, but Hagrid’s absence, to me, would be an inexcusable or unforgivable lack of… professionalism? Not sure if that’s the right word. But think about it this way: If your teacher is in the lunchroom when you’re eating lunch and they’re also eating lunch, you have a chance to go up and ask them a question, right? We don’t hear about any teachers having office hours, so maybe seeing them in the cafeteria is how you do that. If Hagrid is missing lunches because he’s still upset with the trio – which is a stretch; there’s other things going on – but he shouldn’t be allowed to simply not show up, because that’s putting the other students at a loss. Does that make sense?
Andrew: Yeah, I do think it would be good for the teachers to always be there. Okay, there’s exceptions from time to time – you’re sick, you have an appointment, whatever else – but I think by having all the teachers there all the time, it implies House and school unity. It’s like, “We’re all in this together.” I do like the office hours idea. I think having teachers missing on the reg is not a good look for how they feel about their fellow faculty or the students, like, “I don’t want to be around these people.”
Eric: Exactly.
Andrew: They have the break room; they can go there when they want.
Laura: Wait, where else have we gone to school where it was mandatory for teachers to eat in the cafeteria with students every single time? I just have to think we would all want the occasional break from eating every meal in the school cafeteria surrounded by children.
Micah: Yeah, maybe we go to the staff room. Maybe we go eat our lunch outside, if it’s nice. We have the ability to do that because we’re adults. I just feel like it would get old very quick, right?
Eric and Laura: Yeah.
Eric: But I don’t know. That’s at least my impression, is that they’re all always in there, because it’s such a point that Hagrid and Dumbledore haven’t been this year.
Micah: Maybe not lunch, but maybe… dinner seems more of a appropriate time for everybody to be there. But there’s stuff going on during the day. Who knows? Maybe they’re teaching an extra course or something.
Eric and Laura: Yeah.
Andrew: I like the dinner idea, because you think about family dinners. Maybe you’re not all eating breakfast or lunch together because of your schedules, but typically, at least here in America, you have dinner as a family at the end of the day.
Eric: Well, they all live here too. They all live at Hogwarts.
Andrew: Right. They’re a family.
Micah: That’s the thing; they see them all the time. They all live together.
Laura: Right.
[Eric laughs]
Micah: Why do they need to be in the meal room every day?
Andrew: Okay, so just dinners. So what is going on with Hagrid?
Eric: It turns out that in addition to the trio’s snub of him – we’ve got an excellent email coming up about that – it turns out Aragog is unwell, Aragog being Hagrid’s oldest friend and somebody that he raised from very young with him, came with him probably to Hogwarts, or through… what is it, a traveler’s pocket? Maybe Newt Scamander gives a first or second year old Hagrid the spider? Well, he’s not well, traveling into the forest is dangerous, and after the children apologize for not taking his class this year, Hagrid actually positively breaks down and says, “I don’t know what I’d do when he’s gone.” And even though they find it difficult to feel overly too sad, Ron and Harry having actually met Aragog, and moreover, his family, and nearly escaped with their lives – thanks, car – they still feel bad for him. I mean, seeing a grown adult man, and especially somebody that you care about or a teacher you like, or however you want to phrase that, breaking down crying because of grief is earth-shattering, shaking, and not just because Hagrid is tall.
Micah: There’s a lot of immaturity, though, that is going on in this scene with Hagrid. I’m not trying to dismiss what you were talking about, Eric, with respect to Aragog, because clearly, beasts mean just as much to Hagrid, if not more so, than humans do. And so I think there’s definitely a very emotional connection there, and he has every right to be feeling the way that he’s feeling. But the way that he is choosing to behave towards Harry, Ron, and Hermione because they chose not to take his class… again, I understand they’re friends, and I think that this is where the line blurs a little bit between friend and professor. Hagrid doesn’t really know how to behave like an adult; he very much behaves like a child. And this could also speak to whether or not we feel like he’s qualified to be a professor; I know we’ve talked about that quite a bit on the show.
Andrew: Yeah, this is tough for me, because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are so close with Hagrid, so I understand why Hagrid would be frustrated that they weren’t attending his class. But yeah, I think Hagrid needs to be the adult here and be like, “That’s life; people are not going to take my class.” And maybe he should look inward and think, “Well, what could I have done differently that would have inspired them to take my Care of Magical Creatures class?” And it’s also like he, the adult, shouldn’t burden the kids with his drama. Honestly, Aragog, okay…
Micah: He does that a lot.
Eric: Oh. [laughs]
Andrew: Yeah, he does that a lot. He needs to find some friends who are adults.
Eric: Right, the problem with him doing that a lot is there’s nobody else, right? So it’s like, if he had friends, he wouldn’t be crossing, I guess, the invisible line there of… they could just support him as students and friends, and not his entire emotional caregiver.
Laura: It doesn’t justify anything, but Hagrid is socially and emotionally stunted because of what happened to him when he was a young teen at Hogwarts. But I think it’s really valid to point out that at this point in time, Hagrid’s got to be pushing 70. He’s not… because it was, what, 50 years since the Chamber was opened in Chamber of Secrets, which was five years ago? Hagrid was 13 when it happened? So the math ain’t mathin’, but I think a lot of that can be chalked up to the fact that Hagrid just didn’t really get to grow up and have the kinds of experiences that his peers did, and so yeah, he is going to be more immature. I think he does come around, though, in conversation, because it becomes immediately clear that there’s something else going on that’s bothering him, and it feels like he’s kind of using his frustration at the trio as a bit of armor.
Eric: Yeah, that for sure is the case, because as soon as Hermione ushers even the tiniest little apology: “Hagrid, we couldn’t fit it in our schedules…” She’s pulling that out of her bum; nobody ever cares. Hagrid is like, “Oh, I always assumed that it would get tough the older you got to fit it into your schedule.” So he’s accepting her apology almost preemptively. It’s like, as soon as there was pretext for any excuse at all, he’s like, “I guess it’s all right. I guess I figured that makes sense.” Well, here’s actually an email that we got from Meg about this subject, and I would read it in full, because it reminds me of things that I long forgot about.
Andrew: Meg says,
“Hi, MuggleCast. Here’s something that’s been jumping out to me during this reread of Book 6: Why does Hermione drop Care of Magical Creatures? Considering how passionate she is about SPEW and the wellbeing of house-elves, it’s surprising to me that she has no interest in continuing a class about creatures. It’s true that house-elves are classified as beings, and thus would not be a topic covered in Care of Magical Creatures, but they are still technically creatures – and considering how after Hogwarts Hermione ends up working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, wouldn’t you think she would have prioritized getting a NEWT in the Hogwarts class that covers creatures?
In Chapter 11, she tells Hagrid that she, Harry, and Ron all really wanted to carry on with the class, but they couldn’t fit it into their schedules. This is undoubtedly true, most of all for Hermione, but throughout the series we see her show much more passion for creatures than she does for Arithmancy or Ancient Runes. And sure, maybe at the time of dropping Hagrid’s class, she didn’t realize she ultimately wanted to work in that specific Ministry department – but I just imagine her sometime after the series sharing the news with Hagrid that she’s been offered a position there and him being extremely proud, but also responding, “Bu’ Hermione, if yeh care so much abou’ magical creatures, why did yeh drop Care of Magical Creatures?” Would love to hear your thoughts, Meg.”
Eric: Well, Southern Hagrid sounds good.
Laura: I love how Southern Hagrid is back. [laughs]
Andrew: I have a bit of a cold.
Micah: I’ve passed the baton.
Eric: I love it.
Andrew: No, it’s a great question, but I think it kind of speaks to the respect that Hermione has for Hagrid as a teacher.
Micah: Which isn’t much.
Andrew: If this was a teacher she… yeah, exactly. If she had more respect…
Micah: No, I agree with you, because look at Trelawney. She doesn’t value… I’m going to be careful here with how I characterize Trelawney and Hagrid, since I’m lumping them together. But I think she has a standard, and if she doesn’t feel as if a teacher reaches that standard, then she doesn’t feel the need to take their class.
Eric: Yeah. I mean, that’s a good point, honestly. But I just think it’s interesting, because if her destiny is to be the Department of Magical Creatures Control and Regulation, and then Minister for Magic, it is kind of funny that she skips out on the last two years of magical creatures schooling.
Laura: Who among us is doing anything related to what we studied in school?
Eric: Augh.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: Hermione ends up hitting it pretty close to the mark, if you think about it.
Eric: Let’s see, going back 21 years… I guess I was doing MuggleCast when I was a junior, and now I’m still doing MuggleCast, so does that count?
Andrew: I mean, I was in TV Tech, and now I do a lot of video editing, so that’s…
[Eric laughs]
Andrew: But yes, I see your point.
Eric: The point is well-received. And this is another mark of their friendship with Hagrid, but the way that this hangout ends is sort of toxic and disappointing, and it’s basically… the trio all decide to take turns lying their faces off about how horrible Grubbly-Plank is as a teacher, and this cheers Hagrid up so much that he temporarily forgets all about Aragog and all of his woes. And I’m just thinking it shouldn’t be up to them to lie about Grubbly-Plank to make Hagrid feel okay about himself. We’d all do it for a friend, but it’s kind of a shame that that is what has to happen, I think.
Laura: Well, I mean, we’re never going to see Grubbly-Plank again in the books, so I guess… for the plot.
Eric: [laughs] Nobody’s giving her a rebuttal. I mean, here’s the thing, is if I were a teacher and somebody else said this other teacher was better than you at teaching, I would try and improve my teaching and not just assume…
Laura: Or try to learn from that person.
Eric and Micah: Yeah.
Micah: I think as adults, it’s easier for us to look back on this with a little bit more of a critical lens and be disappointed in the trio for saying these types of things about Grubbly-Plank, but if we were a little bit younger, I feel like we probably – or even the age of Harry, Ron, and Hermione – would probably be in the same boat as them, where Hagrid is our friend, and we just want to cheer him up and we want to make him feel better, and if it takes trashing another teacher, why not?
Andrew: I think it’s worth it, yeah. I think that’s the easy way to go.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Andrew: And it’s effective, as we see.
Micah: I mean, we know she’s a good professor; we’ve heard other students speak so highly of her. But my question is, are they only speaking so highly of her because the standard from Hagrid is so low?
[Eric and Micah laugh]
Andrew: Yeah. Oh, that’s true too. It kind of reminds me of when your friend breaks up with somebody, and then you want to take the side of your friend, so you’re like, “Oh, that person wasn’t great anyway, x, y, z…”
Eric: “I always hated them.”
Andrew: Even if it wasn’t true. Yeah, even if what you’re saying isn’t true, you just say it to make them feel better, [laughs] especially if the breakup was messy.
Eric: It’s very human nature-y, yeah.
Odds & Ends
Eric: Well, awesome. We have a number of odds and ends from this chapter, and making the connections between different books. One of the ones that I want to lead with is that when they’re first outside his hut, Hagrid comes out of the woods, sees a group of people, he doesn’t know who they are, they’re with Buckbeak, and he shouts at them and says, “Hey, get away from him; he’ll hurt you!” And I was thinking, did Hagrid’s heart just skip a beat? Because this is not only a hippogriff, but this is the same hippogriff that has injured a student before, and all of a sudden, there’s a student – a group of students – really close to Buckbeak, and in fact, petting him when Hagrid comes out. So did Hagrid have an “Oh my God” moment right here? [laughs]
Andrew: I bet that is why he was partly defensive. But it also just makes you think that the beast would be magically tagged in some way to know their true identities, that this is actually Buckbeak. You would think the Ministry would have some sort of control.
Eric: Oh, yeah.
Laura: That’s too logical.
Andrew: Oh, sorry.
Laura: They wouldn’t be able to have so many security nightmares if they took those kinds of regulations seriously.
Eric: You’re right; we wouldn’t get to play the sound effect as much if they were more grown up.
Andrew: I wanted to mention that the Daily Prophet says Stan Shunpike was taken into custody on suspicions of Death Eater activity, but wouldn’t people have a hard time believing he’s a Death Eater, considering he’s a somewhat well-known figure in the wizarding world? At least, I would think. He’s handling a lone mass transportation vehicle in the wizarding world; you would think a lot of people know and trust this guy. And when we’ve been rereading over the last couple years, I like to think about what the average person is thinking outside of the characters that we hear, and if you’re at home reading about Stan Shunpike, I would think you’re putting the paper down and being like, “Really? This guy?”
[Micah laughs]
Andrew: “Especially now that we trust Harry?” It just doesn’t check out. So anyway, I just wanted to rant about that for a second.
Eric: No, maybe that’s the fear, because you don’t know who it could be, right? So you’re like, “Oh man, if the guy who runs the Knight Bus is not safe…”
Andrew: Who is, yeah.
Eric: “… then I can never take the Knight Bus again.”
Andrew: Yeah, and the trio do note that the Ministry probably wants to show people that they are taking some action, so there is that. But still, Stan Shunpike is not a believable suspect to me.
Laura: They probably have quotas they have to hit. Anyway.
Micah: Yeah. Well, one other bit of news that we do get in this chapter is that Hannah Abbott’s mother has been murdered, and so this continues that trend, as we’ve seen, where some of the students’ family members at Hogwarts are being captured or being killed by Death Eaters, by Voldemort, and yeah, just a sad point in this chapter.
Laura: It felt like such a random diversion from what we were reading about in the moment, because it’s a sentence.
Micah: Right.
Laura: It literally says something along the lines of, “As a matter of fact, Hannah Abbott got pulled out of Herbology the other day because her mom turned up dead,” and then it dropped the topic and kept moving on to something else. I was like, “Whoa.”
Eric: “Then they left the Gryffindor table five minutes later to head down…” It was like, “Oh, God. Okay. All right.”
Laura: Yep. [laughs]
Micah: Another thing that we just probably want to keep tabs on is that despite getting a new copy of Advanced Potion-Making, Harry makes the decision to keep the old meat of the book. He swaps the covers and returns the version that is brand new to Slughorn. So he’s still going to keep up these antics, at least for the foreseeable future.
Andrew: Good!
Eric: Sneaky, sneaky.
Micah: And then finally, for me, we know that Harry does mention something to Arthur Weasley just before getting on the Hogwarts Express about Draco, and Arthur follows through on this tip. We hear about it in the Daily Prophet that there was a raid on Malfoy Manor. Nothing suspicious was turned up, but good on Arthur for actually believing what Harry said and believing in him enough to follow through on it, because there was that stretch where Harry was just not getting any support at all.
Laura: Right.
Eric: Two things really satisfy me about this news article in the Daily Prophet. One is that Lucius Malfoy is openly referred to as Death Eater. That’s very exciting, right? Because for the longest time, he had some level of standing, and right now you just see his name right next to “Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy.” That’s very satisfying. Second is that although it doesn’t affect the plot of this book – they don’t raid and confiscate anything that will prevent Malfoy from doing what he’s doing this year – nevertheless, Harry has already told Mr. Weasley about the drawing room floor secret passageway or whatever, and so what this means is they probably have pretty thoroughly, actually gotten rid of a ton of Dark stuff from Malfoy Manor, and that, to me, is satisfying. They might not have turned up anything new this time, but you know what that means? It means they got it all on previous raids. Surely, there was a raid after Lucius was arrested. So that’s satisfying to me, is knowing that they have fewer Dark objects just laying around Malfoy Manor. Speaking of objects just laying around, my final connecting the thread here is actually about the Time-Turners. You guys, I forget that this whole “All of the Time-Turners were destroyed” is actually in the books! I always assumed it was something the author said in some interview somewhere, but this is in the books. It happens with Hagrid. Hagrid says, “If you applied for Time-Turners, maybe you would have been able to take my class,” and Hermione says, “We couldn’t have done. We smashed the entire stock of Ministry Time-Turners when we were there last summer. It was in the Daily Prophet.” My question is, can we trust the Daily Prophet on this? Why is there an article? What does the article say? “Oh, we have to halt studies of time because there aren’t any Time-Turners now, everybody. Sorry about that.” Why would that be a thing that you publish? It’s from the Department of Mysteries. The Unspeakables work there. Nobody would have ever found out about the Time-Turners, or the fact that they were all destroyed. Why are they reporting on it? The fact that they are reporting on it in the Daily Prophet makes me more suspicious that there aren’t any Time-Turners, that some may remain.
Laura: Yeah, I think this was conveniently written in because the author realized this could be a pretty big plot hole, which, I mean, made sense until Cursed Child came along.
Eric: And there were two secret prototype whatever Time-Turners! I’m just saying, why publish anything about it at all? That seems suspicious to me.
Andrew: It does seem like a big deal for all the Time-Turners to be destroyed, so I guess that could be a reason they want to. And I can see why Hermione buys it, because she was there. She saw the mess that they made.
[Andrew and Eric laugh]
Andrew: But you would still think, “Maybe, okay, one would have survived.”
Eric: “We did that.”
Andrew: Yeah, “We did that.”
Micah: And who’s to say you don’t know how to create more, or that somebody somewhere doesn’t know how to create more?
Andrew: Right.
Eric: They had to be created sometime.
Andrew: Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Micah: But I like what Laura said, though, about the plot hole, because I think that it’s really for us as readers, more than anything else, to let us know that this is not going to be coming up the rest of the series.
Andrew: Maybe two Time-Turners had a Time-Turner baby, and the Prophet and the Ministry didn’t know about that Time-Turner baby, and that’s the prototype.
Eric: I’m going to write a fanfiction.
Micah: Time-Turner baby.
Laura: When two Time-Turners love each other very much…
Andrew: [laughs] “They turn back time…”
[Laura and Micah laugh]
Eric: Oh my God. Okay, it explains this current timeline we’re living in, then.
Superlative of the Week
Eric: Let’s move on to MVP of the Week. I’m very excited about this one, you guys, because it’s positive toward Hagrid, for anyone thinking we weren’t positive to Hagrid. My question this week is what is the best creature that Hagrid was responsible for introducing the kids to, even if it’s by accident?
[MVP of the Week music plays]
Andrew: I’m going to say Fluffy. I was always fascinated by that three-headed dog, and I used to have this Hallmark toy that sat on your floor, and it was motion-activated, so if somebody walked into your bedroom, Fluffy would bark. And so this was…
Laura: I’ve heard of that.
Micah: Which head?
Andrew: Which head? I don’t know which head. But it just felt like my own little security system at my childhood bedroom. [laughs] So for those reasons, Fluffy.
Eric: My favorite creature that Hagrid introduced them to is Norbert (Norberta), the Norwegian Ridgeback, because despite being the most illegal thing Hagrid has ever done, I will bet that fewer than 20 wizards alive can say they’ve ever seen a dragon hatch from an egg. That has to be such a unique experience; dragons themselves are rare, but watching one hatch, that is a lifelong experience that they will remember forever. Thanks, Hagrid.
Micah: I went with the Nifflers, first because this is one of the, if not the best, lesson that Hagrid actually gives to the students, and they end up torturing Umbridge in Order of the Phoenix.
Laura: And they’re still so damn cute, even when they’re torturing Umbridge.
Micah: They are.
Laura: I went with Thestrals, first of all because Thestrals are just hella cool, and I will not hear any slander against them. Honestly, my favorite part about Hogwarts Legacy to this day is managing my magical creatures menagerie.
[Andrew laughs]
Laura: I have a whole tribe. I have a whole pack of Thestrals that I tend to. But also, they end up being such an integral part of the plot in the climax of Book 5. So whether Hagrid knew it or not, he was introducing something really integral with the Thestrals.
Eric: Aw, I love that. I thought that was a really good topic for an MVP.
Andrew: We love you, Hagrid.
Eric: Yeah, thank you, Hagrid.
Lynx Line
Eric: So let’s move on to our Lynx Line segment. Of course, this is when we ask our Slug Club members over on our Patreon to submit their answer to each week’s question that ties into our discussion. And in this chapter, we see Hermione do Ron a pretty big favor, which leads to him winning the tryouts for Gryffindor Keeper, so our Lynx Line question is: Have you ever helped a friend swing the odds in their favor to get something that they wanted, whether it was a job, winning a contest, or something else? And did you technically cheat or bend the rules to do it for them? We’re really asking our patrons to lay it all out on the line.
Andrew: Mev said,
“Years ago, my work mate got accepted to university. She needed to go finalize her enrollment, but our boss did not let her go. I argued with him and said that he may be ruining her future, etc. After that he let her go enroll and work part time so she can study.”
Nice.
Eric: Aw, good looking out. Matthew says,
“The best people do these things. They help their friends while hanging back to let them shine. So… uh… not me.”
[Andrew and Laura laugh]
Micah: All right, Matthew.
[Eric laughs]
Micah: I’ll take the next two, I guess. Forty says, “Nice try, FBI.”
[Eric and Micah laugh]
Andrew: Oh, good point.
Laura: Oh, man. You’re on to us.
Micah: And then Rachel says,
“The instance that first came to mind was when I was a camp counselor at a place I’d attended as a camper for years. It was an equestrian camp, and a girl I’d bunked with the year before was back again. I knew which horse she really wanted for the week, so when it came time for the counselors to assign horses, I gave a very compelling argument for why she should get that horse. The other counselors agreed!”
Eric and Laura: Aww.
Eric: This one warms my heart, and I think it’s exactly the sort of thing we’re looking for in this question. It’s like, “Okay, is that cheating? No, it’s looking out, I think.”
Laura and Micah: Yeah.
Laura: Megan says,
“I think this is what everyone does in the professional world; ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’! Aside from ‘networking’ (one of my most dreaded phrases), I have been on numerous interview panels and *may* have prepped one of my friends for the interview process and repeatedly sang her praises to my boss to help her get hired. Unfortunately for ME, she decided to stay at her former position.”
[Eric laughs]
Laura: I think that’s pretty normal, to put in a good word for someone. But just, you know, make sure that you’re actually confident in that good word.
Eric: And make sure they want the job. Oh, goodness. That just… that’s sad, but I appreciate this being shared, because yeah, sometimes it doesn’t work out for reasons having nothing to do with you.
Andrew: And finally, Kyle said,
“Failed to disclose that someone was a friend when they were interviewing to join a show I was working on as I enthusiastically recommended them.”
Well, y’all are good friends. Thanks, everybody who participated in that Lynx Line question.
Micah: Well, most of them are good friends. [laughs]
Andrew: Yeah. You can participate in the Lynx Line by visiting Patreon.com/MuggleCast, and we ask a new Lynx Line question pretty much every week. If you have any feedback about today’s episode, you can contact us by emailing or sending a voice memo recorded on your phone to MuggleCast@gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on Spotify or YouTube or social media, whatever’s convenient for you. And next week, we continue our Half-Blood Prince discussion with Chapter 12, “Silver and Opals.” Visit MuggleCast.com for links to our social media channels, our Patreon, our transcripts, our favorite episodes, and lots more. And if you’re looking for more podcasting from the four of us, you can listen to our other shows, Millennial and What the Hype?!, for more pop culture and real world talk.
Quizzitch
Andrew: And now it’s time for Quizzitch.
[Quizzitch music plays]
Eric: This week’s question: Which British Queen popularized lockets during her reign, often wearing lockets to commemorate her friends and loved ones? The answer that we were looking for is Queen Victoria, but Queen Elizabeth also had some stuff to do with lockets. So 57% of the people with the correct answer said they did not look this up, and this week’s winners were Ashley B.; Bort Voldemort; Cormac McBraggin’; Don’t Worry, Snape, I get Crampy and Crabby Too; If DanRad is a short king, am I a medium king? (5 foot 10); Ingrid; Monochrome Queen; Newtoo Quizzitch; Prince Albert in a Can; Secunda!; Teacher of Muggles; Turtleman; The Selected Learners United for Gifting, a.k.a. the SLUG Club; Zombie Queen Elizabeth II; and, of course, Tofu Tom. Here is next week’s Quizzitch question: In Chapter 11 of Book 6, Ron asks Hagrid what his barrel full of grubs will grow into, and Hagrid doesn’t say. In real life, grubs are the larval stage of what type of insect? So submit your answer to us on the Quizzitch form located on the MuggleCast website at MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch. That’s the easiest way to submit. And when you’re on our website, if you’re popping around, checking out transcripts or must listens or anything else at all, click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav bar.
Andrew: Thanks, everyone, for listening. I’m Andrew.
Eric: I’m Eric.
Micah: I’m Micah.
Laura: And I’m Laura.
Andrew: Bye, everyone!
Micah: Bye.
Laura: Bye, y’all. See you next time.
Eric: Happy 2026!