Transcript #62

MuggleCast 62 Transcript


Show Intro


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[Show intro music]

Because life takes MuggleCast, this is MuggleCast Episode 62 for November 5th, 2006…allegedly.

Eric: Remember, remember, the fifth of November. The Gunpowder Treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot.

Ben: What is that – what is that from?

Eric and Jamie: V for Vendetta.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: The quote is V, with the Guy Fawkes mask on, because, Jamie?

Jamie: Well, because a few years ago – quite a few now – Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament just like V did in the film, and he didn’t succeed, unlike V in the film, and he got caught, tortured, sentenced to death along with his fellow conspirators. And so we celebrate – I don’t know why we [laughs] celebrate it, actually.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: But yeah, we do, every single November 5th, by setting off loads and loads of fireworks, basically. That’s it in a nutshell.

Ben: Because he tried to blow a building up?

Jamie: Yeah, I know.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Well, he’s not…

Jamie: It isn’t just a building, to be fair. That’s like, you know, it’s quite an important building. But, yeah, basically, because he did that.

Eric: It was like – they were against the Catholics, were they? The – there was like oppression.

Jamie: Yeah, I can’t remember the King’s name. I can’t believe, this is so bad, I don’t know this.

Ben: Was that – was that the start of the show, or what?

Jamie: Yes.

Eric: That’s why it’s MuggleCast now. So, it’s 62.

Ben: Oh, so it’s MuggleCast now..

Eric: For November 5th, 2006.

Ben: [laughs] Oh, well, welcome back, everybody. I’m Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

[Intro music continues to play]


Halloween Recap


Ben: This is the show where we bring you Harry Potter news, theories, discussion, you know, all that good stuff. This is the first episode after Halloween.

Jamie: Actually…

Ben: How is everybody? What did you end up doing, Jamie?

Jamie: What did I end up doing? I stayed at home, waiting by the door, with my steel-toed shoes on so I could dropkick pumpkins…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …and not break my toes, but it turns out that no one…

Ben: And kick little kids in the side of the head, right?

Jamie: Exactly. Specifically that.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: But no one turned up, no one knocked, so I think they must have heard the show and got worried and not turned up. So, yeah, I had a boring evening in.

Ben: Aw, that’s too bad. What about – what about you, Micah?

Micah: Actually, very similar. Nobody came to my door at all for trick-or-treating. I was kind of disappointed.

Ben: [laughs] We hope that everyone else had a good holiday, too. Without further ado, let’s go to Micah Tannenbaum for a look at this past week’s Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: [in chipmunk voice] At 5:30 PM on November 16th, Bonnie Wright will switch on London’s Marylebone High Street Christmas lights as part of the seasonal festivities. The event will include various live music acts, food and drink, shopping stalls, an appearance by Santa, and a fireworks display.

The team at MuggleNet Fan Fiction has posted the winners of their first annual Quill Awards, which recognizes excellence in fan fiction writing. Congrats to all the winners, and we hope everyone enjoys the stories!

Access Hollywood via Dark Horizons is reporting that Michael Hoffman is in talks with Warner Brothers to direct Half-Blood Prince, which is due for release in November 2008.

An official announcement is expected by the end of the year, and we’ll let you know of updates as we hear them!

HBO on Demand will start airing “a sneak preview” of Order of the Phoenix on November 20th. Right now there are no other details concerning what will be included in HBO’s preview, but our guess is that it might include clips from the trailer, which will be released on November 17th before Happy Feet.

As we reported in October, Goblet of Fire will make its television premiere on November 19th. In association with the movie, HBO is holding a contest to win tickets to the Order of the Phoenix premiere.

Finally, be sure to check out a brand-new interview with David Thewlis (who plays Professor Lupin) where he discusses the fifth Harry Potter film.

[changes to normal voice] And just so you know that that was legit, that’s all the news [changes to chipmunk voice] for this November 5th, [changes to normal voice] 2006 edition of MuggleCast. [changes to chipmunk voice] Back to the show.

Ben: [laughs] Thanks for that, Micah. See…

Eric: [laughs] Micah Tannenbaum!

Ben: See, for those of you who don’t remember, Micah made a bet that if she did not release the title on Halloween, that he would have to say the news in a chipmunk voice and so [laughs] there you have it.

Eric: What?

Jamie: Nice one.

Micah: I kept up my end of the deal, though. So…


Title of Book Seven


Ben: So, Micah, why didn’t she release the title? Do you think she’s not ready? I mean, she did talk about the title, right?

Micah: She did talk about the title.

Kevin: I think she did that just to taunt you.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah. I agree.

Ben: [laughs] Just to taunt Micah.

Micah: I didn’t pay her enough, actually.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Well, speaking of which, that’s something we want to discuss, is she said she has a third title for Book Seven. We were all there at Radio City Music Hall the second night – well, some of us were. And she said how that morning, or that day during the – while she was in the shower, she thought of a second title for Book Seven, and now she has a third one and she said that it is ahead by a short nose, or “perhaps that should be a vowel and two consonants.” So, what do you guys think about the whole title stuff?

Eric: I think she added three letters.

Kevin: I think she’s teasing us.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, now there’s not just two, now there’s three. She just
likes messing around with us.

Jamie: Oh, I feel…

Ben: I know. Hopefully, hopefully we’ll get to know what the other two
titles are.

Jamie: I know what it is. It’s…

Ben: What?

Jamie: She’s just added the word “the” to it. That’s two consonants and a
vowel.

[Eric and Kevin laugh]

Jamie: I bet it’s something, something, and something, and then… Oh, sorry, Harry Potter and something, and then she’s added “the” into it. I bet that’s it. In fact, I will eat…

Eric: You know what that…

Jamie: Actually, no I won’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You stop right there.

Ben: [laughs] “I will eat.” I love those bets.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah. Although, I just think it means that she favors this title above the other two and that it’s just got a few more letters than the other two, as well.


Time on Book Seven Title


Ben: Right, but if she didn’t release the title this – on Halloween,
when do you think we can see it? I mean, when do you think we will see it?

Jamie: Christmas, maybe?

Eric: I don’t want to wait that long.

Ben: I don’t know.

Jamie: It’s like a month.

Eric: I think maybe something like this. Guy Fawkes Day.

Jamie: Huh?

Ben: Yeah, but what about…

Eric: It’s Guy Fawkes Day today.

Ben: Today?

Eric: Maybe by the end of the night she’ll release the title.

Ben: I doubt it.

Kevin: Maybe Christmas?

Ben: So, what do you think this means for the timing of Book Seven? I still
think it’s going to be 2008.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree.

Kevin: Yeah, I do, too.

Jamie: Of course, all the way, 2008.

Ben: But don’t you agree that’s kind of cool because we get to do this for a whole other year?
Isn’t that awesome?

Eric: I don’t know, why don’t we ask the audience? Do you guys want to sit
through this for another year?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: I can’t hear them right now, I must admit.

Ben: More cities. More cities, more…

Jamie: More continents.

Ben: Yeah, more continents, more…

Jamie: More planets.

Ben: Yeah, for you it’s continents, yeah.

Jamie: More planets. We’ll go to Mars next, Ben.

Ben: Yeah, we’re going to podcast – we’re going to podcast…

Kevin: More planets.

Ben: We’re going to podcast from the moon.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Jamie and Kevin laugh]

Ben: Certainly, I don’t think, the fact that she didn’t release it probably means that she’s still working on it and probably has quite a bit left to go. So…

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Ben: Sorry for those of you who were counting on 2007. I don’t think it’s
going to happen.

Eric: But something that Ben said about us knowing the other two potential
titles, too. I don’t know if we will or not, because there’s definitely
people who are like, “Oh, I prefer that title better.” You know? And I…

Ben: Well, maybe, maybe they give away too much, like…

Jamie: Yeah, they probably do.

Ben: Besides the title, maybe the other two would add – give us more information.

Jamie: Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter.

Ben: She definitely wouldn’t release… Yeah, The Death of Harry Potter. [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: She definitely wouldn’t release the other two until after Book Seven is already done.

Eric: Yeah, I would think so.

Jamie: Yeah. And people have read it.

Eric: And after everybody is used to it.

Ben: I just don’t think it’s possible.

Eric: And it could be like an alternate title. Like, did you guys know – no, I’m not going to make the comparison, well, I guess I am. Star Wars: Episode VI was actually, preliminarily, Revenge of the Jedi. And there were actually posters you can get on EBay, Revenge of the Jedi, Episode VI: Revenge of the Jedi, and George Lucas, then halfway through the ad campaign, decided that Jedi weren’t vengeful necessarily in their character, so he turned it to Return of the Jedi.

Ben: Oh.

Eric: And then of course Episode III became Revenge of the Sith.

Jamie: Return of the Sith.

Eric: [laughs] Return of the Sith. Well, they were there.

Kevin: Return of the Sith. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: But, yeah. So, that was interesting.


Announcements


Ben: But anyways, one way you can – one way you can demonstrate your support for our show, if you want us to keep doing this for years, is by voting for us on Podcast Alley. com. I have no idea, no idea where we are right now on [laughs] on Podcast Alley. Sorry, I just looked at the picture there, again.

Eric: Because truth be told we don’t even check it. We just, you know, vote for us.

Ben: Yeah, well see, it’s actually not loading right now. Oh, here we go. Oh, geez, we are number four and we are getting – we’re not even the number one Harry Potter podcast on Podcast Alley.

Eric: Great. Gee, which one?

Ben: So, go out show your support for us, vote for MuggleCast.

Jamie: Please, please.


MuggleNet Book Update


Ben: A little update on the book. We have received quite a few pre-orders
and we’re very pleased with the amount of people, the feedback on it, the
amount of people who are purchasing it, and once again, MuggleNet.com’s, What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Falls in Love, And How Will The Adventure Finally End? You can purchase it – pre-order it through Amazon. I think the book’s actually going to be at retailers by the end of this month. So, you can go pick it up at your Barnes and Noble if you don’t want to pre-order it. Yeah, but if you do pre-order, it helps support the show, the site, everything, so go ahead and do that.

Eric: Ben, do you think we might be able to grace ourselves with an
interview with the authors of that novel?

Jamie: No, no, they’re untouchable, Ben, I hear.

Ben: I don’t know, they’re pretty busy.

Jamie: They are very busy.

Kevin: Yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Kevin: Very arrogant.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Well, I figure they had a show…

Jamie: And rather good-looking I hear, as well, from an unknown source.

Ben: Yeah, especially the one…

Eric: We may need to offer them a great portion of our money. You know, we
could broadcast from zero gravity if we pulled the funds enough, because
they are selling zero gravity trips now for what, $3,000?

Kevin: Where did his come from?

Eric: Because…

Jamie: Where did this come from?

Kevin: Yeah, but I think it’s coming from the topic about broadcasting from
space.

Eric: Because we could podcast from the moon.

Kevin: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Kevin: But the thing is, we said that like ten minutes ago. [laughs]

Jamie: Ten light years ago.


MuggleCast T-Shirts


Ben: Another reminder: MuggleCast t-shirts. We will end sale on them on
January 1st. So, this is pretty much your last chance to buy them, as sort
of like the big going out of business sale, but, however, you must remember
this is not like those bands that do this for sympathy.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: And then three months later they come back, you know? [laughs] We all heard of, like, I think KISS – they’re the band during the ’70s, ’80s, ands the ’90s even. They had
three different farewell tours, where they would disappear and then they
would, all of a sudden, they would come back.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: They wouldn’t have their makeup on or they would have their makeup on, but we’re not doing that. This is seriously it. We are no longer allowed to sell them after January 1st.

Jamie: Yeah. We always record with out makeup on, don’t we, Ben?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, yes. But, yes, after January 1st we will no longer be allowed to sell the t-shirts, so go out and pick yours up.


Gilmore Girls


And one final thing we need to mention in the announcements this week is, last week Andrew, who is unfortunately not here to defend himself – he bashed the Gilmore Girls, the show that’s on the WB or…

Eric: He didn’t! He didn’t!

Ben: Well, he said what his opinion was.

Eric: [sarcastically] Oh my god!

Ben: And it was not very kind.

Jamie: And he didn’t prefix it with the word, “allegedly,” or, “my opinion is,” or…

Ben: Yeah. Didn’t he say that he thought it was the stupidest show he’s ever seen? [laughs]

Jamie: Apparently. [laughs]

Ben: Apparently.

Eric: Allegedly, “this is the stupidest show ever.” No. I have no problem, I’ve seen a few episodes. I have no problem.

Micah: Well, actually…

Ben: Micah, didn’t Andrew want you to say something about that?

Micah: He did. He actually sent me an official statement by him.

Jamie: From the heart, Micah, from the heart. From the heart.

Micah: [laughs] It is definitely from the heart! He wanted to communicate to the fans that he was just joking and he didn’t want to upset anybody, because we did get a bunch of e-mails from fans. Some of them were a little bit more passionate than others, I guess this is the right way to put it.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: And he also wanted to say that he’s watched a grand total of two minutes of The Gilmore Girls

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Micah: …so his opinion obviously was not that well-thought out. So, he does apologize to all the fans who like Gilmore Girls and…

Ben: Speaking of Andrew…

Eric: He’s hospitalized right now from passionate…

Ben: Yeah, because The Gilmore Girls fan girls came and abducted him. [laughs] No, he’s – yeah, he’s not here this week. He’s off doing a college visit. You know, he’s preparing for the next level. I don’t know. [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Yup. So, sorry about that.

Eric: What college?

Ben: We’ll make sure that – just realize that it’s our personal opinions.

Kevin: We’ll have to keep him in line.

Ben: We’re sorry that we offended anybody about The Gilmore Girls. We got an email from someone saying that they were deeply offended that we talked smack on The Gilmore Girls.

Eric: This is, after all, a Harry Potter podcast.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, this is a Harry Potter podcast, not a Gilmore Girls podcast.

Micah: But we were joking, I think, and it was just taken a little bit out of context.

Jamie: Hey, I’m really, really glad it’s not a Gilmore Girls [laughs] podcast, because that show sucks!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Allegedly! Allegedly!

Jamie: Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot to mention it.

Eric: So, allegedly you’re really glad.

Jamie: Allegedly glad.

Eric: We’re following in the same pattern here.

Ben: See, we always make these mistakes.


Listener Rebuttal – Peeves


Ben: According to – who sent this rebuttal in? No name. They said:

“Hey, MuggleCasters! I have a comment about your discussion on the ghosts that live in Hogwarts. Laura is right. You can’t get them out of the school, at least in the case of Peeves. Here’s what I hope counts as proof. It’s from the interview between Emerson, Melissa, and Jo. Emerson says, ‘Why does Dumbledore allow Peeves to stay in the castle?’ Jo says, ‘You can’t get him out.’ Emerson says, (and this is the opinion that Jamie and I had), ‘He’s Dumbledore, he can do anything!'”

Jamie: Yeah!

Ben: “JKR says, ‘No, no, no, no, no. Peeves is like dry rot. You can try and eradicate it. It comes with the building. If you’ve got Peeves, you’re stuck.’ And then Emerson replied, ‘But Peeves answers to Dumbledore.'”

[Eric laughs]

Ben: “JKR said, ‘Allegedly.’ Melissa said, ‘Allegedly?’ JKR said, ‘Yeah. I see Peeves as like a severe plumbing problem in an old building, and Dumbledore is slightly better with the spanner than most people. So, he can maybe make it function better for a few weeks, then it’s going to leak again.'”

Jamie: Well, I’m sorry, Jo. You’re wrong. She’s wrong!

Ben: There you have it. We were wrong. Jo, she proved us wrong in this interview.

Jamie: No, she’s wrong, Ben! She’s wrong.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Yeah, she didn’t know what she was talking about.

Micah: You know what this is?

Ben: What’s up, Micah?

Micah: I was actually reading the interview, and I sent this to Laura. So I think Laura just made up a fake Listener Rebuttal to prove that she was right and the rest of us were wrong.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

[Kevin laughs]


Listener Rebuttal – More on Peeves


Ben: Alyssa, 16, from Fairfax, California, has a related message for us.

“I was thinking about Peeves as the subject was brought up in Episode 61, and it seems logical to me that Peeves is a shape taken from all of the energy from the teenagers as they run around the school. He must have appeared sometime when the first students arrived at Hogwarts, and will only go away when there are no more students with poltergeist energy left. This is why no one has ever gotten rid of him.”

Jamie: That’s a very interesting point.

Eric: That’s the best.

Kevin: It’s very interesting.

Ben: It would kind of make sense…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …because he’s mischievous, and every kid – even the goody-goody kids in schools – there’s part of them that wants to rebel, even thought they may not do it all the time.

Jamie: Allegedly.

Eric: Allegedly. Yeah.

Jamie: Allegedly.

Eric: I think Alyssa has definitely struck gold as far as – because poltergeist activity to begin with is energy; usually a child’s energy, actually. And I definitely like the idea that it’s feeding off the mischievous sides of all the students. I think teachers, too. Peeves could be using some or taking some that the teachers can’t do. I don’t know. Because if you look at Book Five, they were kind of glad he was creating mischief. So, I think Peeves could feed off of everybody in the castle. Even Dumbledore.

Ben: Mhm. But I don’t think it’s the – I don’t think it’s the same way that he’s feeding like a Dementor feeds off.

Eric: Oh, no, no, no. Not at all.

Ben: It’s actually just – it doesn’t take away from the energy, it just…

Eric: But he is there because it’s there.

Ben: Of the energy, yeah. Hmmm. That’s interesting. I never really thought of that, but yeah. I think Peeves is what… He’s still good-natured, even though he does some pretty mean things sometimes.

Jamie: Yeah, he wouldn’t drown anyone or kill anyone. He’s just going to drop stuff on their heads. He’s mischievous rather than malevolent.

Ben: Right. Definitely.

Eric: I think he’s malevolent too. Just not murderous.


Character Discussion: Luna Lovegood


Ben: Pale eyes, radish earrings – Luna Lovegood. That’s what this week’s main discussion. Micah, did you want to make a few points?

Micah: Sure. Let’s see.

Kevin: Points as to what?

Eric: By the way, this is the main discussion.

Micah: Sure.

Ben: Well, points as to – like, a little bit of information about her.

Kevin: Just to introduce this?

Ben: Yeah, this is the main discussion, by the way.

Micah: Yeah. Okay. Luna Lovegood is a Ravenclaw. She’s a witch in Ginny’s year who’s considered a bit weird by her classmates. She comes by this reputation honestly; Luna simply isn’t like all the other kids. She dresses unusually, she proclaims her strange beliefs to anyone who will listen, and in some ways she seems to be completely out of touch with what’s going on around her. That was from the HP Lexicon.


Luna’s Name Connection


Jamie: Why don’t we start off with her name? Her name, Luna, obviously has…

Ben: Etymology?

Jamie: …etymology with the moon. And that begs the question, is she related to Lupin?

Ben: I don’t think she’s related in the terms of her bloodline, maybe. Not that way. But maybe JK Rowling is trying to say that there’s some kind of connection between these two.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Maybe in just their personalities.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Well, it could just be that – the moon could just be to perpetuate the Loony Lovegood teasing she receives. It’s all moon, moon-like.

Eric: Well, yeah. Peeves called Lupin “Loony, loony Lupin” or whatever in…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …in Movie Three. And that was obviously, I guess, because he was a werewolf and Peeves knew it or because of his moon significance. I think Luna has different moon significances as in she’s always visiting the moon as in she’s always in space.

Jamie: Oh, that’s very good! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, so they are both loony – they are both related to the moon for different reasons.

Ben: Right. But they’re not related, right?

Eric: Right, right, right. I don’t think the Lovegoods…

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: No, no. I agree. Yeah.


Is She Really That Loony?


Ben: But yeah, you brought up how they’re always calling her Loony Lovegood, but is she really as loony as everyone makes her out to be? What do you guys think?

Eric: Yeah. She, she actually is…

[Ben laughs]

Eric: …because… Well no, no. She’s not as – it’s not a bad thing, though. Having a little bit of…

Ben: Well, you know how she’s always believing in like the Ministry conspiracy?

Eric: Well…

Ben: Like Fudge making goblins into pies, having an army of heliopaths, [laughs] and all these – all these things.

Eric: [laughs] Being different is not a crime, necessarily.

Jamie: But it’s not being… Yeah, but it’s – there’s a difference between being different and being crazy.

Ben: But is she crazy, though? That’s the question.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t think she’s crazy.

Eric: She, she has a habit, a tendency…

Kevin: I just think she, she has – well, she has some far-out ideas.

Eric: Certain ones.

Kevin: And because of that, she’s ostracized.

Eric: But if she were…

Micah: But I don’t think she needs to be locked up in a straightjacket or anything like that.

Kevin: Exactly, yeah.

Jamie: I think she does. I’d put her in there.

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Ben: No, no, yeah. It’s definitely the – like you said, it’s more of the… Like, she’s eccentric? Is the word I’m looking for…

Kevin: Yes.

Ben: She’s kind of – she’s a little bit out there. She’s kind of like how some people perceive Dumbledore. It’s the same thing, but…

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s different, though…

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: …because it’s… It is the same, but he is…

Ben: Well, she’s not brilliant like Dumbledore.

Jamie: But yeah, he’s brilliant.

Micah: She’s very open-minded.

Eric: Well, she’s pretty smart, too. Loony has an ability – sorry, Luna has an ability to speak uncomfortable truths and things. She gets past a lot more than other people. Other people would stop short almost and fall short of expressing their mind. Luna, however, knows exactly how she feels and even if it’s crazy or a little outlandish, she is, like, an open person about it but she just gets insulted for having so many different ideas.


The Quibbler


Ben: Right. Well, you know her dad’s newspaper, The Quibbler?

Eric: Yeah. Which doesn’t help being raised by that man.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] He’s kind of a cook, too, from the way it sounds. [laughs] But the only reliable story that we’ve actually seen The Quibbler produce was in Book Five – at the end of Book Five where they used it to publicize that, you know, Harry did all the interviews.

Jamie: Isn’t it, isn’t it just a plot device, though? It was introduced to provide a method of publishing that isn’t The Daily Prophet that allows Harry to get his story out.

Eric: Well, I think it’s – I think it’s good to know. I think it’s good to know there’s another version of publishing next to The Daily Prophet, because…

Jamie: That doesn’t have the…

Ben: Because The Daily Prophet would sort of…

Eric: Because The Daily Prophet, the Ministry is leaning on the Prophet. And it’s great to see – even if it was a plot device…

Kevin: Yeah, it’s pretty corrupt.

Eric: It’s why I’m not against the idea of The Quibbler. Because people are saying, “Okay, so the Rotfang conspiracy – and Fudge has an army of heliopaths.” Even if, even if he doesn’t, I don’t think that’s the point. The point is to question. You know? “How likely is this?” Could Fudge potentially either have an army of heliopaths or could he just be not doing his job in the other sense of the word? Could he not – could he be hiding something? Is really what that question asks. You know? And…

Micah: So, you think the stories tell something different? Is that what you’re saying?

Eric: Well, I don’t think they’re intended to. I think they’re intended. Somebody actually believes that Fudge has an army of heliopaths, just like somebody believes Sirius Black was Stubby Boardman. They actually believe that stuff, but I’m saying, what you take from it is the minor concepts. You know? Okay, we aren’t supposed to, you know?

Jamie: Some satire is like, I’m sure that The Onion realizes it’s satire. It doesn’t write it believing it. Like The Quibbler probably writes it for entertainment. It’s like, it’s like The Sun over here. It sensationalizes, it exaggerates, it puts questionable facts in, but it doesn’t pretend it’s a broadsheet. It knows it’s a tabloid and so it acts accordingly. The Quibbler probably writes because that’s what their audience wants, so even though it’s not true, they write it knowing it’s not true and write it knowing it’s just for entertainment.

Eric: I don’t know about that. I got the distinct impression that Luna actually believes in nargles and things. So, I don’t know. Like you compare it to The Onion, I would compare it to what’s our main tabloid here? The pointless one.

Micah: The National Enquirer?

Ben: Yeah, National Enquirer.

Eric: National Enquirer. About monkeys from Mars and all sorts of stuff and it’s like…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: In that case, I completely agree with you.

Ben: And then there was…

Eric: They can’t possibly…

Ben: No, no. There was an article in there that said the world’s fattest man has disappeared. It had like, a man that was…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …3,000 pounds [laughs] and he disappeared. I don’t know how that happened.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: Anyway, people, yeah. Definitely those publications I don’t think take themselves seriously, but The Quibbler, that’s why The Quibbler struck me. Because Luna actually purports these kinds of theories, and her father apparently does, too. So, when book sales or rather, magazine sales – issue sales of The Quibbler went up due to Harry’s thing, her father was overjoyed because he could share all his other conspiracies of the government with everybody because he actually believed it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: So, I think this is an instance where people do actually believe what they write for it.

Jamie: Mhm.

Micah: But do you think that that hurt Harry’s credibility at all?

Eric: Mmmm.

Jamie: No, no.

Micah: Having his story published in The Quibbler?

Jamie: No, no.

Micah: No?

Eric: Mmmm. No, because the way, the way it is, is once it’s published there, everybody knows, why didn’t he do it in The Daily Prophet? Oh, because The Daily Prophet

Jamie: Right, yeah.

Eric: You know? So they can immediately justify it. It doesn’t matter where it’s published. It was actually…

Kevin: And it was very important for The Quibbler because now they have the support of Harry Potter. Harry Potter has just said…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: … “Hey, I’m giving my story to The Quibbler over The Daily Prophet.”

Jamie: Yeah, and it’s just a confidence in the publication, as well. So, I assume…

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: …you know?

Kevin. Right.

Eric: Don’t you just love how Rita Skeeter wrote that article? [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Poetic justice.


Luna and Ollivander


Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Luna also is described as having “pale eyes,” and another character in the series who has a similar description is Ollivander, the wand maker in Diagon Alley. So, do you guys think there could be any connection between them two?

Jamie: [laughs] Well, I know we…

Ben: Those two?

Jamie: …over-analyze here, but…

Eric: I love the idea.

Jamie: …isn’t that kind of like saying that Harry has got black hair. [laughs] So…

Kevin: I have green eyes, so…

Ben: [laughs] Two people with blue eyes have…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: Right.

Jamie: They have got to be sisters. Seriously, definitely.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] They both have blue eyes.

Eric: No, but, guys…

Ben: No, I don’t really know if it’s really that, I’m just saying that JK Rowling – it’s different in a series like this when she’ll use certain descriptive words. You know what I mean?

Micah: Right, right.

Ben: I mean, it’s probably a stretch, but it’s still worth discussing.

Eric: Yeah, pale eyes…

Micah: Well, I was reading…

Eric: Yeah.

Micah:Prisoner of Azkaban last night, and the number of times they said Lupin had pale eyes, and Hermione had pale eyes from studying so much. I mean, do you want to start making connections there, too?

Jamie: Yes, I do.

Eric: Oh, really, Micah? So…

Jamie: He’s her daughter.

Micah: You do?

Jamie: So, she’s his daughter. Oops.

Micah: She’s Hermione’s sister? Ummm…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Did you…

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Yeah, that’s true.

Jamie: They’re one big happy family.

Eric: Did they actually say “pale eyes,” though, Micah? Because I was under the – I believe you, but I was under the impression that was a not widely used term like “pale eyes.” I don’t recall seeing it except for Ollivander and Luna. Did they actually say that for studying?

Micah: I don’t know. Maybe they just said…

Ben: Yeah, I don’t really recall that, but I haven’t…

Micah: …bags under their eyes, or something.

Ben: …read Book Three for a while, and it wasn’t like I was looking for it when I did read it. [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Well, let’s just entertain it for a second here. Luna’s mother was described as being a talented witch who enjoyed experimenting with spells, and it would make sense for Ollivander to be Luna’s grandfather in this case, since he creates wands. I’m not sure if… I’m just reading this from the Writely, but [laughs] I’m not actually sure if that makes much sense. It doesn’t really make logical sense to me. What about you guys? What about you, Kevin Steck? What do you think?

Kevin: I think it’s a far stretch, like we said before. I mean…

Ben: Yeah, I guess we’re going to start making really, really out there predictions.

Kevin: I mean, that’s like grasping at air. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: There’s – it’s just a single description of a person. I mean, I’d think we would have to have…

Jamie: It’s like grasping at straws with no hands.

Kevin: Exactly. [laughs]

Jamie: At all. So, it’s impossible.

Ben: Yeah.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: Well, okay we’ve established that that is a little bit far out there, but…

Jamie: No, Ben, I think we should reinforce that point. Allegedly.

Ben: [laughs] Allegedly. No. Not only – okay, we’ve established that that is a little bit of a far stretch.

Kevin: Out there.

Jamie: It’s allegedly a bit far-fetched.


Luna’s Connection With Death


Ben: But, but something that isn’t far-fetched is the fact that she does have a strong connection with death. Which is what we saw throughout Order Of The Phoenix, because she can see the Thestrals.

Jamie: Why can she see them, again?

Ben: All those things.

Jamie: Do we know, or do we not know?

Ben: She saw her – who’d she see die?

Jamie: I can’t remember.

Ben: Do you guys know? We need to get this right.

Jamie: Did she see?

Micah: I think her mother, isn’t it?

Ben: Yeah, it was her mother. That’s what I thought, too.

Eric: Yeah, okay. I think it’s unlikely, though, that if Luna’s grandfather is Ollivander, I don’t like to think that Ollivander’s own daughter would be out there in the world testing things to make for her father’s wands. He wouldn’t send her off to go test things.

Jamie: We’ve moved on.

Eric: Blow stuff up.

Jamie: Okay. There’s…

Eric: No, that was just going into the death thing.

Jamie: Oh, sorry. Okay, go on then. Sorry.

Eric: Because her mother died.

Jamie: Okay, yeah, fair enough, fair enough.

Eric: Apparently testing things. So, if it would have been wands for her father, that would have been a little sad. Maybe that’s why Ollivander reserved himself to just phoenix tail and unicorn tail. Phoenix feather, whatever.

Ben: When Harry realizes that Luna can see the Thestrals, too, it makes him feel – it sort of establishes a bond with her, because he doesn’t feel as alone as before. So… [whispers] Yeah. [returns to normal volume] Another thing that Harry and Luna can both do, one of their special talents, I guess. It’s not really a talent, but you know what I mean; how something that they can do, their, what would you call it, Jamie?

Jamie: Uhhh…

Ben: That they’re qualified to do.

Jamie: Their similarities.

Ben: Yeah. Another one of their similarities is with the voices behind the Veil, and she makes a point of reminding him about it. But what’s the difference? I mean the fact that Ginny can hear the voices beyond the Veil, but she can’t see the Thestrals, tells us that they’re two different things.

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Ben: Like, two different things qualify you for that. So, what do you think? Do you think it could be you’ve had a near death experience? Because Ginny with…

Jamie: Luna hasn’t though, has she?

Ben: …Book Two. Well, we don’t know.

Eric: Yeah, Ginny has. Well, oh, yeah, I don’t know about Luna.

Jamie: She accidentally choked…

Ben: And Harry, of course, all the time.

Jamie: …on one of her radish earrings, and had to get rushed to hospital. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: So, what else about her connection to death?

Jamie: It’s definitely something. That thing about the Veil, there is clearly something, some type of criteria they’ve got to meet to be able to hear the things. And perhaps, unlike the Thestrals, there are varying degrees of this. So, some people can hear them, some people can hear them and understand them, or whatever. I don’t know.


The Veil is a Lethifold?


Micah: This is sort of going off-track slightly, but we like to do that. So, I’ve gotten a number of e-mails about the Veil actually being a Lethifold. Do you guys…?

Eric: No.

Jamie: Ummm, yeah. It’s the thing – for people who don’t know, it is the creature in tropical climates that sneaks into people’s dwellings and wraps itself around their mouths and suffocates them.

Eric: Right.

Jamie: And then swallows them, leaving no trace of them, whatsoever. So, yeah.

Micah: So, that would be a far stretch?

Ben: That would be a bad way to die…

Eric: There is nothing about whispers, and there’s – if it was a Lethifold it would completely destroy the mythological…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …art of the Veil.

Ben: Why would the Lethifold be there for…?

Jamie: It would move as well, probably.

Ben: Yeah, hundreds of years.

Eric: Yeah, they just grabbed one Lethifold and strung it up for studying at the Ministry of Magic. It just doesn’t…


Back to Luna


Ben: [laughs] Right. It doesn’t make sense. Anyways, back to Luna’s connection to death. She has a conversation with Harry at the end of Order of the Phoenix about Sirius. She seems to be the only person who “understands” Harry, and she listens to him and then lets him be – she’s very accepting. Because, she’s probably used to having everybody make fun of her ideas and thoughts, so she kind of seems like the person that you could confide in. Do you know what I mean? Without her criticizing you. It’d just sort of be like, you say it, and she’s…

Kevin: Well that’s because she’s so open-minded.

Ben: She accepts it.

Eric: Well, and she’s been made fun of, herself.

Ben: Yeah, that’s what I said. She’s…

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: She knows how it feels.

Eric: So she’s not going to openly criticize.


The Social Outcast


Ben: But the thing is, if she’s so understanding of all these people, why is she a social outcast? Do you think it’s because that she has all these loony thoughts?

Eric: Oh, what do you mean? No…

Ben: Or is it the fact that she’s different? It’s because she’s different, right?

Eric: It’s because she’s different, yeah. I mean, she understands people, and stuff, but who says that makes you popular or worth talking to? Usually, it’s the people who are the outcasts, who do get made fun of, who start understanding how people’s minds work. So…

Ben: Yeah, that’s true because they have a lot more time to think about it.

Eric: Well, they have a lot more…

Ben: They’re not caught up.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, they’re not caught up in the social scenes, and all that.

Eric: Right. Exactly.


Luna in Book Seven


Ben: You know, when we do these character discussions, our favorite thing to talk about, of course, is always their connection to Book Seven. Because a lot of the characters we talk about, it just doesn’t seem like there would be much of a connection to the last book, but what about Luna? Do you think that there’s something that she’s going to have a connection to in Book Seven?

Kevin: Well, they introduced her and they really have – JK Rowling really hasn’t told us much about her, so it tends to lead you to believe that we will see more of her, and at least she’ll play some sort of smaller-medium role in the next book.

Eric: Why smaller-medium?

Ben: Well, doesn’t it… Well…

Kevin: Because… Because…

Ben: Okay. What’s the purpose of Luna? Each character that she introduced has to have some sort of purpose, and what do you think that Luna’s purpose is? Is her purpose served already or…?

Micah: Her purpose was to call the last Quidditch match.

Ben: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Micah: No, I think she has such a strong connection to death, and she’s not afraid of it. And Voldemort, we all know, has a great fear of death. So, I think having somebody like that on his side, Harry is sort of in a position of just having a good ally, maybe.

Ben: Yeah, because it’s like the opposite ends of the spectrum. Because deep down, I think, everyone fears death. You know? It’s like…

Eric: But some more than most. Some more than others.

Ben: Yeah, some more than most. And Harry – Dumbledore thinks death is the next greatest adventure, but maybe Harry hasn’t realized that in his mind, yet. He hasn’t come to terms with well, death is just essentially what – all it is, is just a part of life. And, he hasn’t really come to terms with that, and Luna’s helping him realize…

Micah: Right.

Ben: “Okay, if I do die, it’s going to be for a greater cause, so it’s really not that bad,” and it’s – it will be interesting. So…

Micah: Well, I think the most important thing that she said was that, at the end of Book Five, when she was talking to Harry, that she was going to see her mother again, and that’s what provided her the greatest comfort. And that was what was so important to Harry, because he said to himself, “Well, I’ll see Sirius again, and then I’ll see my parents again.” Sorry, Eric, I didn’t mean to cut.

Eric: No, when was this? I missed… That was… When Luna said she…

Micah: At the end of Book Five.

Eric: She said she’d be seeing her mother again? I forgot about that.

Micah: Right.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: No, I was going to say Luna, as far as, do you guys think she’s that far in the background? I mean, I was under the impression that…

Ben: Oh, no. After Order of the Phoenix she kind of dropped off the radar. Do you think that…

Kevin: Yeah, she did, yeah.

Ben: Does that kind of prove that…

Eric: I think that…

Ben: …she’s already served her purpose? Or could she come back in Book Seven?

Eric: I think she’ll come back. I think Book Six, why everybody seemed to have fallen off, tapered off, even Tonks and most of the Order was because it was Harry and Dumbledore about Voldemort.

Micah: Yeah, I agree with that.

Eric: It’s my impression still that Luna and Neville, who fought the ending battle in Book Six, would therefore become like a semi – there’s the trio; there’s Harry, Ron, and Hermione. But then I think immediately after is Neville and Luna. Like, immediately after. Like, very close circle. I still see them as very close friends that are going to band together in Book Seven.

Ben: Right, they’re still part of the group, but they’re just not the main members.

Eric: Well, I think a significantly big part.

Ben: Right.

Eric: Well, I think they are main members. I think if there were a main five or a main six, including Ginny, it would be…

Ben: Oh yeah, they would be included.

Eric: Neville, Luna, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione. In reverse order, but yeah.

Micah: I think everyone took a backseat in Book Six to Tom Riddle, because that’s who I really think the book was about. Even more so than Snape being the Half-Blood Prince, so I think a lot of characters…

Eric: Mhm.

Micah: …just got pushed to the back burner.

Ben: Yeah, Book Six was more about us learning about who Voldemort is – that type of thing. So, because Harry has to learn those things in order to have a shot at taking him out in Book Seven, so that’s why we learned those things. That’s why it seemed like everyone else sort of became second tier or behind, like less of a priority in JK Rowling’s mind…

Micah: Right.

Ben: …and in the series.

Micah: And I think that Book Seven will start off where a lot of people wanted Book Six to.

Ben: And where is that?

Micah: Well, sort of after Harry learns everything about the prophecy, you’re sort of expecting him to want to learn more about Sirius and what exactly happened to him. And I just felt that there was a lot of stuff, sort of coming off the end of Book Five, that we thought we were going to get in Book Six and it didn’t happen.

Ben: Yeah, that was a lot of people’s main disappointment with Book Six was, you know? It wasn’t all like they wanted it to be. It was the preparing for the war, I mean there still wasn’t…

Jamie: Yeah, but it was done for a reason.

Ben: …all right.

Jamie: Which we’ll probably find out. It’s like… I mean, she could have just gone straight into the…

Eric: Yeah, and people are dying, and they had that great first chapter, “The Other Minister,: which was great.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Which was amazing.

Ben: Yeah. That was probably one of my favorite chapters of the series.

Jamie: Yeah, it was very good.

Eric: Honestly, it’s really good.

Ben: Just because the way it starts out is so, like, mysterious, you know? It kind of reminded me of the opening chapter of Book One, when it’s like, you know, that really sucks you in because its like, “Whoa. What’s this all about?”

Eric: Well, yeah and that’s what she said, that she was trying to do a chapter like that for quite a few books, but now we finally got the view, you know? What would it be like to be the British Prime Minister and be told about this magical world and have to keep it a secret and all that stuff.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: I just love the scene where he says, you know, “All my workers are really good.” And then Fudge turns to him and says, “Well, yes they’re ours. They’re wizards; of course, they’re good.” Kingsley Shacklebolt and everything.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: And the Ministry is taking them back. He’s like, “He’s a plant.” Yeah.

Ben: [laughs] Well, we’re digressing a bit here.

Eric: But. No. Yeah, but the inner circle of Luna and stuff, I still think that’s really good. I think it’s safe to say that Luna will play a bigger role in Book Seven and I don’t think she’s tapering off.

Ben: Yeah. I think everyone will. I don’t really think we’re really going to see the disappearance of, especially since Luna was established in Book Five as you said, you know, the next person in line to be, you know, like the main five or six that you brought up.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: As part of their little group.

Eric: And its been said, you know JKR said that Book Six really felt like Book Seven: Part One.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah. The novel’s in two halves so…

Eric: Yeah. She was leading, you know, she introduced Slughorn, who was, I guess, one of the final players in this whole plot of what’s going to happen in the final chapter of the book.


Listener Rebuttals – Missing Day


Ben: Okay. Well, you guys, we keep making mistakes. I don’t know how we keep doing it. They were probably a few in that Luna discussion. Yeah, keep sending your e-mails in and tell us what we did wrong. Emery, this is from MySpace, I don’t know how Andrew got a hold of this, but last week we discussed a missing day in the series. How, between Harry’s parents being killed and him being delivered to the Dursley’s, apparently, there was a missing day, and according to Emery:

“October 31st, near midnight, Voldemort attempts to kill Harry Potter after murdering his parents, but his spell rebounds. Voldemort is defeated. November 1st, late evening, Hagrid delivers baby Harry to Dumbledore, who’s waiting at Privet Drive to leave the baby with the Dursleys. There is no missing day. After midnight is November 1st. It is just the next day.”

Jamie: How could we have possibly got that wrong? That’s so obvious. How could we have got that wrong?

Kevin: When did you say this? Last episode?

Ben: This was last week.

Kevin: I could have told you that.

Ben: I don’t know. We just don’t think logically sometimes, I guess. I don’t know.

Jamie: No, we’re just stupid. That is ridiculous. How could we have got that wrong? How could we have thought that between October 31st and November 1st there’s a…

Eric: But there is a missing day theory. There is still a missing day theory.

Jamie: No, there’s not!

Kevin: How is there a missing day?

Eric: I said there’s a theory.

Ben: Do we know when Voldemort killed Harry’s parents though?

Kevin: Yes, the 31st. It was Halloween.

Jamie: Oh yeah. We missed…

Ben: Right, it was Halloween but could it have been, like, 2 AM on Halloween? That’s the thing, because then there still could be a missing day, right?

Jamie: No, there’s not. No.

Kevin: No, because I think…

Jamie: You mean like what, October 32nd, Ben?

Ben: No, like October 31st at 2 AM. You know what I’m saying?

Jamie: I guess.

Kevin: He means it’s like, late, late at night on the 30th into the 31st?

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: I guess, but stuff must have been happening then, like, you know, Order of the Phoenix members contacting each other, stuff going around, you know? It takes a while to get everything sorted out. I don’t think we can say that they’ve missed out a day.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Just that we don’t know what happened during that time.

Eric: It’s interesting because…

Micah: Well, actually, there’s a whole editorial, a five-part editorial, that’s written on the lost day by Brandon Ford.

Kevin: Whew.

Micah: And I think that there is actually a day that’s missing. I don’t think he would’ve wrote an entire five-part series if…

Kevin: No, but that’s what…

Micah: in fact… Sorry.

Ben: Unless he’s as dumb as we are.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Kevin: No. I think that’s what Ben was saying, like the only explanation for if there was a day missing is that if the murder happened at 2 AM on the 31st, meaning you had the whole day of the 31st plus the next day too.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: Yeah. The only thing that gets me, people say, you know, that Dumbledore would have needed a day to put all those spells on Privet Drive and definitely all that preparation and all the ancient magic Dumbledore had to invoke. But the problem is, right before Hagrid comes and delivers baby Harry, Jo writes that nothing like this man, nothing like Dumbledore had been seen on Privet Drive before, which kind of implies that he never had never even been there hours before putting up spells.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Or if he did, he was doing it invisibly. I don’t know.

Kevin: You see the thing is though, do you think it’s plausible that someone, that JK Rowling put in a missing day? I mean…

Jamie: Well, perhaps, and we find out in Book Seven.

Kevin: I think she…

Jamie: It doesn’t sound…

Ben: I think it’s just an oversight.

Jamie: Yeah. It probably is.

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying. I think it’s just, you know, exactly what it seems. It doesn’t…

Jamie: But Eric, going back to what you were saying putting spells on the house, I don’t think it’s the kind of magic where you put spells on it, you invoke this kind of magic so there’s sort of, perhaps, certain conditions that have to be met or, you know, certain conditions and a couple of words have to be spoken, or certain ingredients. I don’t think it’s a normal, normal spell.

Eric: Well, no. It’s just like when Dumbledore and Harry were flying back to the lightning-struck tower and Dumbledore was muttering, you know, different language…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric:…to clear the shield for them to go in. I think it’s something like that.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: It’s definitely not a matter of [mutters magical language] and he goes in the backyard [mutters magical language]

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: It’s more complicated.

Ben: Hmmm. There may be a quote in terms of the timeline, it may seem that there’s a day that’s missing, but I doubt anything that went on during that day is really pivotal to the series. I may be wrong, I may be eating 50 jumbo sausages with Jamie.

Jamie: [laughs] A bit like me.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: It’s just so elaborate though, and the specific stipulations and conditions under which Harry is protected from Voldemort. “As long as he can call it home?”

Jamie: Oh yeah, it’s very specific though.

Eric: “As long as they give him room space, the Dursleys?” It’s incredibly specific.

Jamie: Shouldn’t we clarify that we don’t actually mean a day missing, we mean a sort of extended period of time.

Eric: A period of time that we don’t know about.

Jamie: We don’t mean October 32nd, we just mean an extended period of time that we don’t know. Nothing’s happening. We haven’t heard anything that’s happening in it.

Ben: Right, right.

Jamie: Okay, cool.


Listener Rebuttal – Jo’s Birthday Updates Telling Us Something?


Ben: Our last listener rebuttal comes from Katie, 14, from the Czech Republic. We have listeners all over. That’s crazy. The subject is, “Who lives, who dies theory.”

“Hey MuggleCasters, I thought of this theory before but I haven’t written in until now. As I’m sure you’re well aware, Jo updates her site with birthdays. We’ve seen Harry, Hermione, Ron, the twins, Molly and many more. However, we have never seen the birthdays for the characters that are already dead in the books. Never once have we seen a birthday announcement for James, Lily, Sirius or Dumbledore. Now, if she’s going to update about Molly or Percy or someone else who isn’t exactly pivotal in the series, you’d think she’d update about these important characters, right? At first, I thought that maybe she was giving us birthdays of characters whose birthday we knew from the book or her site, but then I realized that we have never seen Molly’s birthday in the books. And we know Voldemort’s birthday, but she never updates about him. Do you think she might be giving us a clue as to who lives and who dies? I’d love to hear your thoughts.”

Hmmm. Katie.

Jamie: That’s interesting.

Ben: That’s very interesting, yeah. I mean, I don’t know if it’s really a clue, per se. Maybe she just chooses her favorite character. But she likes Dumbledore though. Hmmm. Has she ever updated for Hagrid?

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, she has. But not for Dumbledore. That’s what I think is pretty interesting. And the site was up before Half-Blood Prince was released, and she never once wished Dumbledore a “Happy Birthday.”

Jamie: Well, that could be why.

Ben: Well, I don’t know if this is intentional, though. I don’t know if it’s intentional that she does that because he’s going to die, you know what I mean?

Jamie: Well, it’s kind of like…

Ben: What about Ginny? What about Ginny? Have we ever seen a Ginny birthday? We have, haven’t we?

Jamie: I think we have, yeah. We’ve never seen, but it’s interesting, though, you’re right, we haven’t seen a Voldemort birthday. But if – I don’t think he’d celebrate it. I can’t see his Death Eaters waking him up with a breakfast in bed.

Ben: And a cake.

Jamie: Bringing in a cake, oh yeah.

Micah: [laughs] But she has wished a “Happy Birthday” to Draco.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: So… And we consider him to be…

Eric: And that’s just it. Because now we have to – that’s why I like this so much. We can go back and see whose birthdays did she put up, and does that – you guys were all there at “Harry, Carrie and Garp,” when somebody asked her – this is when she gave the Harry thing away. Somebody asked her who she’d invite to a dinner table, and she said, “Oh, wait, I know who dies,” and stuff. She judges things and she judges her own actions…

Jamie: Yeah, she does.

Eric: …and how she can answer questions and how she would do things, based on who lives. So, birthdays could be this fascinating idea from Katie, 14, of Czech Republic, who said…

[Ben laughs]

Eric: …that this is cool.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Now we can go back and see if it – I think it makes sense. It makes sense to me.

Jamie: Oh, it is. It’s very clever.

Ben: Yeah, very clever. I never would have thought of it.


British Jokes of the Day


Ben: Now it’s time for everybody’s favorite segment: Jamie’s British Joke of the Day. We haven’t done one of these in a while.

Jamie: English, English. English Joke of the Day.

Ben: English Joke of the Day.

Jamie: Apparently, sorry, allegedly English Joke of the Day. I have – I got an e-mail today, well, actually a while ago now, from Skylar Warren. Actually, let me do that again. I won’t say her last name. I actually got an e-mail a while ago from Skylar, which had the subject, “All puns intended.” It’s like a kind of…

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: It’s a load of jokes disguised as puns, and I thought these were so funny. I was literally on the floor when I read some of these. Here are a few of them. “Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t up to scratch, but the reception was excellent.” [laughs]

[Everyone laughs weakly]

Micah: Ha, ha.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: God, Jamie.

Jamie: “A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.'” Come on, that’s brilliant.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: How can you not laugh at these? These are so good.

Ben: No. I didn’t quite get it at first.

Jamie: These are – okay. [laughs] Okay, okay, okay. “Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak were cold, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.”

Ben: Ha, ha, ha.

Eric: I don’t get that.

Jamie: Okay, there’s a phrase, “You can’t have your cake and eat it.”

Eric: Oh, okay.

Jamie: So, it’s basically. Okay.

Eric: Yeah, I just hadn’t heard that, okay.

Jamie: Okay. Okay. This is my personal favorite. “A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the front manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. Angrily, they said, ‘Why?’ as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said. ‘I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.'”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: That’s funny.

Jamie: Okay, and a couple more. Finally, there was this one person, who sent twenty different puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of them would make them laugh, no pun intended.

Ben: No pun intended, oh, that’s funny. [laughs]

Jamie: Thank you, Skylar.

Kevin: Took me awhile there.

Jamie: I thought they were awesome, so thank you.

Ben: Those were great British jokes, Jamie, or English jokes.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Or allegedly English jokes.

Jamie: Allegedly English. Thank you. Okay.


Voicemails – Reader’s Perspective


Ben: Well, since Kevin finally got his stuff together, the voice mails are back this week. Woo!

Kevin: Oh yeah. The voice mails we’re using this week are the ones we were supposed to be using last week, but you guys never used them. So…

Ben: Here is our first voice mail.

[Audio]: Hey guys. This is Daniel here from Edinburgh, Scotland, and I was reading the Philosopher’s Stone again, and I was noticing that on the first page it says, and I quote, “When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on a dull, gray Tuesday, our story starts.” Now this makes me think that the Harry Potter novels are just being told by a character in the book. Now J.K. does not use this style anywhere else in the books. It seems to be hinting at the fact that a character in the novels is telling Harry Potter’s life, and we’ll find out who this is in the end. I don’t know if it has any significance, but it’s really been bugging me, and I’d like to know what you think. Okay, I love the show, and by the way, I was in the United States over the last couple weeks and I bought Lucky Charms cereal for the first time, and I can tell you, Jamie, I quite agree with you. They are an amazing cereal. I brought three boxes home with me. Thanks, very much. Cheers! Bye!

Jamie: [laughs] I have to say, Daniel, back to you, your accent’s awesome, and I’m glad you enjoy Lucky Charms.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Well, it is in third person to begin with, but he asks if we’ll find out who the narrator is and stuff. Based on that, and how she sometimes says, “you wouldn’t think this” or comparisons. Like I said, when we were doing chapter-by-chapter, we called them “Rowlingisms” or something. Just something where she inflected herself to tell the story.

Jamie: Rowlingism, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s sort of out of context, kind of.

Eric: It’s not like an entity, you’re just supposed to, you know? Sometimes Stephen King sometimes writes like, “I think that you would have known that this person did that…” Something like that.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: It’s not like he’s really a character, it’s like, an omniscient, is it? An ever present kind of thing that keeps a story going. I don’t think it’s like an entity we’re going to find out who is telling…

Ben: Right. I think it’s just a narrator or a main…

Eric: It is an all knowing narrator, which is what the actual tense of the books is; third person omnipresent or something.

Micah: Doesn’t that happen in the beginning of Book Six, too?

Eric: I think so. There’s all these – there are moments where she just will say, “I think he did this,” or you know, and compare things. It just keeps the story going, but it’s not necessarily like Lemony Snicket where, you know, Lemony Snicket is…

Kevin: There’s a single, yep.

Eric: …a character narrator.

Ben: And see, the way that the book begins is that’s actually where the story – like, the story is already taking place, Harry’s already 11-years old. That’s just telling you the back story of what happened. There has to be some way to explain that without having, you know, like a page that says “eleven years later,” you know? [laughs] They can’t do that, so they have to, you know?

Kevin: Yep.

Micah: Right. Harry’s not going to be able to tell what happened at that point.

Ben: Thanks for your question.

Eric: So, we don’t think she’s actually an entity that’s going to be revealed in the books, like “Oh my god, it’s Snape!” You know, telling the story.

Kevin: Right.

Ben: Thanks for your question.


Voicemail – Time-Turners


Ben: Here’s our next voice mail.

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters, this is Kaitlin, 15, from Maryland. This is in response to the everlasting time discussion that has been going on for the past two episodes. You said something about how technically you could go very far into the past, but then you wouldn’t live long enough to go back to your own time period. My question is, couldn’t you also go forward in time? It’s called a Time-Turner, not a “Time-Back-Turner,” so one could technically go forward in time if they were so far in the past that they would die of old age before returning to their own place. All they would need to do is turn it forward instead of turning it backwards. Just wondering what you guys thought of this? Thanks so much! You guys brighten up my day! Oh, and also, in Hercules the Fates don’t sing and dance. You probably got them mixed up with the Muses. Thanks again!

Eric: [laughs] It’s like the “Time-Back-Turners.” That’s the next band to come out; Dumbledore and the Time Back Turners. They’re going to start, the lights are going to shine, their backs will be turned, and the audience is “turn back, turn back.”

Jamie: [laughs] Funny.

Eric: She says… Her question is can you turn forward in time with a Time-Turner?

Jamie: No, you can’t.

Eric: But it’s called a Time-Turner, not a “Time-Back-Turner.”

Jamie: Kevin, you’ll probably know more about this than me, but isn’t it, it’s impossible to – oh no, wait. Sorry, I’m thinking about something else. It’s impossible to go back in time, only forward, but then we’re talking about Harry Potter here, so that theory’s completely gone.

Kevin: Right.

Eric: Well, if you look at the H.G. Wells, The Time Machine, I think how he went forward in time, he… It was just a matter of…. What happened was the capsule that he was in was protected from all things that would go on, and he was actually in some kind of hyper-space time. In other words, he actually was there for thousands of years while the buildings around him crumbled, and he actually ended up in the future underneath tons of rock.

Ben: Another correlation to time travel in the book comes in Book Four when we see Fred and George accurately predict a score. It’s really obscure. They say, “We think Ireland is going to win, but Krum is going to get the Snitch.” so we think they had a Time-Turner there to travel, too.

Eric: Allegedly.

Ben: I’m pretty sure they did. It makes a lot of sense.

Eric: But the question is did they go…

Ben: But they would have to go forward in time, wouldn’t they?

Eric: Oh, that’s true. Yeah.

Kevin: Right. So, I think it’s plausible.

Eric: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: There’s no real way to tell without…

Ben: Or wait, wait. Could Fred and George have gone back in time to make the bet?

Kevin: Have gone back in time to replace their bets? Yeah, replacing the bet.

Eric: Oh, that’s right.

Ben: See, it’s all confusing.

Jamie: They couldn’t have actually known unless they knew, so…

Kevin: I think we’re going to give people a headache again.

Ben: Yeah, sorry about that.

Ben: Fred and George could’ve gone back in time. I don’t know.

Eric: That’s really… But, yeah. So, once you’re back in time you have to live because we’ve only seen it on such a small scale, so would you actually have to live the time you’re in, or could you actually go back in the future again?

Ben: I don’t know.

Eric: Like say they went down a couple days…

Micah: I think you have to live through it.

Eric: Are you sure? Because “Time-Turner,” she said, it’s not the “Time Back-Turner.” I love that.

Micah: But we don’t know that it’s the “Time Forward-Turner” either. We’ve never been shown an example where it says “So-and-So went forward in time.”

Kevin: Okay, let’s go to the next voicemail.

Ben: Before I get a… Yeah. [laughs] That’s probably a good idea.

Kevin: I think we’re going to give people headaches.


Voicemail – Vernon Doesn’t Recognize It’s Not Halloween


[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast people. I was just thinking about something, and it bugged me, so I so I decided I would call you, because I love the show. So, Voldemort was taken down on October 31st, right, and then Vernon Dursley goes about his day and we learn about his whole day on November first. He sees all these people in weird outfits, and I just realized that never once does he say anything like “Halloween was yesterday! These people are crazy!” There’s never any mention of, you know, Halloween. Which, I don’t know, maybe this is? Thanks a lot! Love the show! Bye!

Eric: Dursley – Vernon should’ve thought that it was absurd, not that they were dressed up in cloaks walking the streets. “The get-ups you saw on young people these days,” but the fact that they were late for Halloween. That should have been brought up. It definitely should have been, and especially on the news. If Dursley – Vernon didn’t say it, the news people should say. You know, people got a little after, post-Halloween kind of cheer. Jamie, they do celebrate Halloween, right, in Britain? I mean, yeah.

Jamie: Of course, yeah.

Kevin: No, they don’t celebrate Halloween.

Eric: Well, they said Burning Day, because they were even talking about Burning Day being November the 5th, and so…

Ben: Hmmm.

Eric: What the heck?

Ben: Well, maybe he doesn’t like to talk about… Maybe, like if they are the kind of people that don’t want to acknowledge the existence of these weird people called wizards, they don’t want to acknowledge anything that’s abnormal or different from them. So…

Jamie: Exactly. And Halloween…

Ben: It could make sense for them to go “Oh, Halloween is a bunch of stupid!” You know?

Eric: Yeah, but you should still recognize that it happened. Like the people like Scrooge, who knows it’s Christmas even though he hates it. He sits in the house. You have to recognize the fact that Halloween was just a few days ago, so it definitely should’ve been mentioned.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Because later JKR says… Do you think it was an afterthought that they were killed on Halloween, or how was that done? Because, well, they say that in Book One that it was Halloween night, don’t they? Because Hagrid tells…

Micah: But my question is, in relation to that, when did Harry show up?

Eric: Oh.

Micah: Was it the following day?

Kevin: Well, yes, because it was November 1st. It was the night of November first, right?

Eric: Well, Hagrid…

Kevin: Hagrid dropped Harry off.

Eric: Yeah. In the book version, he tells Harry the whole story in the cabin of Voldemort and stuff. I think then he says “Halloween night you were…” It just seems so strange that Vernon didn’t say…

Kevin: That he didn’t mention it, exactly.

Ben: I know. I can’t think of any logical explanation of why he wouldn’t mention it.

Eric: Interesting.

Kevin: Well…

Eric: Nobody did. You know? The owls flying everywhere.

Kevin: That’s the thing. Yeah.

Eric: They could have turned it into this big “Oh, it’s a day late, Halloween.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Maybe we should propose the whole holiday changes a day off due to these new events.” Nobody was saying that, that we know of. That we heard.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: But, it’s a really big thing that Halloween was a bad thing for Harry. So…

Kevin: It seems a little strange.

Eric: It seems surreal. It’s… Yes.

Kevin: But I don’t know why – I don’t know. There’s no real reason to – no real explanation to it without hearing it from Jo.

Ben: Yeah. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

Kevin: Good point.

Ben: Yeah, thank you for sending that in. And we have one last voicemail.


Voicemail – Reading Book Seven


[Audio]: Hey guys, I had a question for you. I know that when all the previous books all came out, we all read them that night at midnight, and we didn’t put the book down until we finished it. But I’m thinking that when Book Seven comes out I might not want to do that. I know it would be hard for you guys because of the site and everything, but wouldn’t you want to savor the last book or would you still rush through it because it’s so hard to stop and put it down anyway? Love to hear your thoughts. Thanks, bye!

Ben: Jamie, didn’t BBC do an interview with you?

Jamie: Yeah. For anyone that’s listening and doesn’t understand this, I did an interview awhile back and they asked me how long it would take me…

Eric: We heard this story.

Ben: Yeah. Actually, Andrew put the audio in a previous show.

Jamie: Oh, right.

Ben: Anyway, anyway, they asked him – in case there’s some of you who aren’t up-to-speed with the shows.

Jamie: Okay, I had an interview with the BBC awhile back, and they asked me how long do I think it’s going take me to read Order of the Phoenix. And I couldn’t say, “Well, I might spend a couple of hours reading it, and then go to McDonald’s, then have a rest, then have a cup of coffee then take my time.” So, I just said “About four hours, maybe,” which of course was a complete overestimate. Sorry, underestimate.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: It took me a lot, lot longer, but yeah. Basically.

Kevin: Completely impossible. Yeah.

Jamie: And now Ben brings that up whenever he can to humiliate me.

Kevin: Of course.

Ben: Mhm.

Eric: But I don’t think anyone can – can you guys seriously, the first time you’re though it, can you speed-read the Harry Potter books?

Jamie: No.

Ben: I just can’t do it. I mean, I’d rather enjoy it and savor it.

Eric: When there’s a new book out, yeah, I’m trapped. I’m forced to go through in the pace that my mind creates the images for me. I can’t…

Jamie: But Eric, don’t forget, some media sources have to get reviews out within six hours, so they employ people who read at a million words a second.

Eric: Yeah, I get that, but it’s just complete lack of grasping any of the things she’s saying.

Jamie: Not if you – mo, if you can’t read that fast, then fair enough.

Eric: If you skim it, you get plot.

Jamie: There’s a difference between skimming and speed-reading.

Kevin: Yeah, but the question is, guys, the question is; are you going to be rushing through Book Seven when it gets released?

Eric: No.

Jamie: No, we’re going be taking out time.

Micah: No.

Kevin: Well, I’m not. I’m sure we’ll know half the book like two weeks before it’s released, but… [laughs]

Ben: I don’t know, I’d say…

Kevin: I would take my time.

Ben: Yeah, I’m probably going to…

Kevin: I took my time with Book Six. So, I mean…

Ben: I’m going to take my time a little bit more than I did with previous books. Book Five I stayed up all night. Book Six I spent…

Kevin: It will probably take me two days.

Ben: Yeah, Book Six I spent about two, two-and-a-half days. But I’ll probably, probably something familiar with Book Seven.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: I usually do it in like…

Ben: What about you, Jamie?

Jamie: Just like, I remember I got Half-Blood Prince at like – it was in the evening. It was like at 8 P.M. or something like that. Then we got back and I finished it at midday, without a break.

Ben: Yeah, that wraps up this week’s voicemails. Thanks to everyone who sent something in.


Show Close


Ben: Remember you can dial 1-218-20MAGIC for you U.S. listeners and I have the UK numbers here somewhere. I’m used to Andrew just rattling them off.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: If you live in the United States you dial 1-218-20MAGIC. If you live in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677. If you live in Australia [repeats in Australian accent] Australia, please dial 0280025668. And also you can SKYPE a voicemail question to us to the username “MuggleCast” you can hear Andrew’s lovely voice on there. You can e-mail us at MuggleCast dot com. There’s a contact form on there and also if you want to send us anything please dial – no don’t dial anything. Send something to…

[Eric Laughs]

Ben: …MuggleCast PO Box 223 Moundridge, Kansas 67107. I got a package this past week, from – I got another box of Lucky Charms.

Jamie: Awww, thank you.

Ben: And someone else sent in Christmas ornaments for us to put up on our trees which I will get sent out.

Kevin: Awww, nice.

Ben: So…

Jamie: What for Christmas 2015?

Eric: Next Christmas.

Ben: Well actually, actually they made that joke in the letter. It said…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: “I’m hoping that you’ll have these by Christmas 2008.” So…

Jamie: Well, Ben…

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: …somebody sent in a message. I can’t remember who it was, it said that when I was complaining last show that I couldn’t grow any facial hair, they said they would mail a beard for me to the PO Box but, also said that…

Micah: [sighs] Geez.

[Show music begins]

Jamie: …by the time you sent it to me I’ll be able to grow real…

Ben: Be able to grow a real beard.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah in about two days.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: So, yeah, it’s a pointless plan.

Ben: No, but no, Jamie, you’re still going to look like a baby forever. For life.

Jamie: Well, that can’t be bad. That can’t be bad. I won’t complain.

Ben: [laughs] Okay, well, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode… What is this now, 62?

Eric: 62.

Kevin: 2.

Eric: What are we going to call this episode? We really haven’t found…

Ben: 62? I don’t… I don’t know.

Kevin: “Allegedly.”

Jamie: “Allegedly.”

Eric: “Allegedly.” “Allegedly MuggleCast.”

Ben: “Allegedly MuggleCast” there you have it.

Kevin: Alright.

Ben: So yeah, for everyone here at the MuggleCast Central, I’m Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Ben: Yeah, Micah. Join us next week for Episode 63. Andrew might be back. With any luck he won’t. No, I’m just kidding. [laughs] Yeah.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: Is this first episode he’s missed?

Ben: No, no this is like, the fourth.

Kevin: No

Micah: No.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Okay.

Eric: Fourth. Got in the last five

Kevin: All right.

Ben: Yep, bye.

Kevin: Goodbye.

Jamie: Bye

Micah: Bye

Eric: Bye, everybody.


Bloopers


Jamie: I remember I got Half-Blood Prince at like – it was in the evening, it was like at 8 P.M. or something like that. Then we got back and then I finished it a midday without a break. So…

Ben: Geez. Did you think you were some bad*** or something?

Jamie: Yes, Ben that was precisely what I was thinking when I was reading it. I wasn’t concentrating on the…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …huge fights at the end or…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: …the death of one of my favorite characters. I was just thinking of how much of a bad*** I was.

Ben: [laughs] How cool you were…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: …because you read the book.

Jamie: Exactly, because I stayed up all night. Ooh, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: That’s exactly it. No, no, wait, in all seriousness. Yeah, yeah I thought I was a bad***.

Ben: ***

Jamie: I felt bad***.

Eric: Bad***, butt holes.

Jamie: No, no I just, you see, Emerson was up as well, so I thought well I can’t have everyone else reading it, so then they can’t talk about it. So I thought well, you know, I’ll stay up and do it as well. It was enjoyable actually.

Ben: Imagine how mad people would have been if they didn’t finish the book before they interviewed her.

Jamie: Well, exactly. They had to. They had to finish it. I thought I would as well then.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Roni, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #61

MuggleCast 61 Transcript


New Show Intro


Andrew: Domain names from GoDaddy.com are up to 70% less than the competition. Plus, each domain includes free hosting with a website builder, a free blog, complete email, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter code “MUGGLE” when you check out, and save an additional 10% on any order. Some restrictions apply. See site for details. Get your piece of the Internet today, at GoDaddy.com.

Andrew [Show Intro with new music in background]: Because we all got some candy in our bellies, this is MuggleCast Episode 61 for October 31st, 2006 – Halloween edition.

[New music continues]

Andrew: [in a spooky voice] Oooooooh! Welcome to MuggleCast Halloweeeen edition! Ooooooooh! Hey, guys, what’s with this new music?

Ben: It’s sweet.

Jamie: Ooooooh! I like it. I like it very much.

Laura: I like it a lot. I think it’s great stuff.

Andrew: I like it, too.

Jamie: Laura, I like it more than you.

Andrew: I have to try the bass line.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Hey, Andrew.

Andrew: Yeah?

Jamie: Did you use your half an amp – half a watt amplifier…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …to record that? [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yes, yes. I used my small little amp to produce this bass.

Jamie: For all people listening: Andrew, in his room, has an amp that
it literally the size of a sort of cell phone. It’s absolutely tiny.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Well, it’s a bit bigger.

Andrew: A cell phone? All right, I think you’re exaggerating. [laughs]

Jamie: I’m exaggerating very, very slightly. Very slightly.

Ben: What did I say about it? I said something.

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: You said that it was a one-watt amp, which is a bit of a high estimate I think, Ben, really.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Guys, come on. It’s like ten. Give me a break. I’m going to buy a new one.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: Sorry, it came with the guitar. It’s a practice amp.

Laura: That’s pretty hardcore stuff, Andrew.

Andrew: Anyway, we have a special Halloween show for everyone today,
including some hot gossip on Laura Mallory that’s going to get everyone!

Jamie: Yeah. This is steaming hot gossip.

Andrew: Yeah. Ooo! Ooo! Everyone’s going to be like, “Tehe! Gossip! I love gossip!” We also hope you’re enjoying our new Intro music. [pause while music plays in background] I’ll take that as a, “no.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

[Jamie hums the theme music]

[Music continues playing]

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: And now over to Micah Tannenbaum for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


[Audio excerpt from Sorcerer’s Stone]: Troll in the dungeon!

Micah: Oh, really? Good thing I’m not working down there today. But the rest of the transcribers are. Well, good luck!

Goblet of Fire has received two nominations: Best Feature Film and Bafta
Kids’ Vote, in this year’s children’s Bafta Awards. The awards ceremony will take place on November 26th in London.

HBO has opened a contest where you could win tickets to the Order of the
Phoenix US premiere next July, including 500 dollars in spending money and
transport plus accommodation. This contest is only open to US residents. To enter, head over to MuggleNet.com.

And while you’re over there be sure to check out MuggleShop.com for all your HP merchandise needs. With thousands of products to choose from, if you can’t find a Harry Potter product there, either it doesn’t exist, it’s a dumb product idea, or we’re just not allowed to sell it. I’m glad I get paid by the advertisement.

Speaking of, we’re proud to announce that the first-ever book written by MuggleNet
staff is now available for pre-order for only $11.85 through partner
Alivan’s. The book is titled, What will happen in Harry Potter 7? Who lives? Who dies? Who falls in love? And how will the adventure finally end?

Our fully-customizable Order of the Phoenix countdown is now available.
You can change the countdown to your country’s release date. More countries
and dates will be added as they become available.

Speaking of the fifth movie, Empire magazine’s latest edition included a
three-page spread, where director David Yates spoke about the length of the
film. He said: “The book’s huge, but it actually distills quite easily. That said, I’ve shot a movie that’s probably over three hours, so I’ll have to lose 45 minutes in the edit.” Blasphemy! Yates also discusses Imelda Staunton and Evanna Lynch.

Finally, “We Love The Royle Family Sun,” a special program about the The
Royle Family sitcom, aired this past week on BBC 1, and Jo Rowling made a
guest appearance. We have a video available for you online.

That’s all the news for this October 31, 2006, Halloween edition of
MuggleCast – be sure to check out the Halloween layout on MuggleNet.com – back to the show!

Andrew: All right, thank you, Micah.

Micah: You’re welcome.


News Discussion: Movie Length


Andrew: We’re going to try something new this week. We are going to talk
about the news a little bit because it’s a good way to keep the show a
little fresh week to week, and this way we can have a chance to gossip about [switches to girly voice] the latest Harry Potter stories, guys!

Jamie: Yeah! Yeah!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, one of the big stories this week was a new interview with
David Yates, where he said that there was going to be a good 45 minutes of
film that they shot that is going to have to be cut!

Laura: What?!

Jamie: He was talking specifically about his length, which I always like
it when men talk about length, because, really, you know, you can’t really
talk about a film, review a film if it’s too long or too short. I think you better keep them into certain categories. There’s more that can be packed into a four or five hour film, so it’s impossible to compare it with a one hour film, because it’s completely different. The plot’s different. You can have a beginning, a middle, and an end and then more in a four hour film, whereas you can’t really in a one hour film.

Andrew: Right, right. That could be said about a lot of things.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Andrew: But, I mean, with this – with the movie – why is WB so concerned about keeping it at about a two-and-a-half hour range? Because that really seems…

Ben: It encourages more people to go out and watch it.

Jamie: Yeah, and it’s continuity, as well.

Ben: Parents don’t want to take their kids to a film that’s going to be
over three hours long.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Yeah. Kids get squirmy.

Ben: Because it’s going to be like, “Oh, geez. There’s no way he’s going to
sit through this,” and, “Oh, geez. I don’t want to put up with him this long.” So… [laughs]

Andrew: I guess, but then look at Titanic. And how long was
Titanic?

Laura: Yeah, but Titanic wasn’t geared – they weren’t trying to
gear that towards children.

Andrew: No, but adults sat through the whole thing.

Laura: Adults, not kids. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, don’t you think kids would sit through the Harry Potter
film? I thought the concern was the parents would not want to sit through
it.

Laura: No, I think that…

Andrew: Granted, they probably wouldn’t.

Laura: Well, I mean think about it. A five-year-old? I mean…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s… That’s…

Laura: Sitting through a three-and-a-half, four hour movie.

Jamie: And also it’s like when it goes into a four or five hour movie,
it turns into a new thing.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: Like the third Lord of the Rings is known for
being a long film. Or, there’s one film, I can’t remember what it is, it’s like, six hours, and then people – it becomes known for being so long instead of as a film.

Ben: Gone With the Wind.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: For an example, Gone With the Wind is
like, three hours, 50 minutes or something. And then – that isn’t a film; it’s a marathon film.

Laura: Not to mention, the longer the movie is, the more people are
going to expect for it to contain, you know, from the books.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Laura: Little facts that would’ve normally be left out. And we know that
directors, especially – I can’t believe I forgot his name – the Goblet of
Fire
director. [laughs]

Andrew: David Yates?

Ben: Oh, Mike Newell.

Andrew: Mike Newell.

Laura: Mike Newell.

Jamie: Oh, Laura, you call yourself a fan?

Laura: It totally slipped my mind, but for instance, you know, he said
that the big theme in this one was the boarding school kind of element to
it.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: So, he took those pieces, and Alfonso Cuaron said that the big theme in Prisoner of Azkaban was Harry…

Jamie: Was shrunken heads.

Micah: Was the Whomping Willow?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] No! Harry transforming from a child into a teenager. So, they’re just picking out the main story element that they want the movie to focus around.

Jamie: Do you know, I think it’s funny when people like, speak like, “And I do think this movie is incredibly important for the character development and how the plot progresses.” When I watch a film, I just watch it. I don’t think about these things.

Andrew: Right, right. You want entertainment. [laughs]

Jamie: I’ve never… Exactly. I’ve never ever thought about the development of the character as a whole, and their personal struggle against the forces of evil. I just watch it.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, But the thing is…

Jamie: Maybe I’m just dumb, yeah?

Laura: …if the character – Jamie, though, if development is good, that makes the movie entertaining.

Jamie: So, back to what David Yates was saying about that he’s recorded a three hour film, so he’s going to have to cut 45 minutes of it, which, for the non-mathematically inclined among you, means that it should be two hour, fifteen minute film.

Ben: Now that’s stupid. Throw in that extra fifteen.

Andrew: Yeah, I think they would go for two-and-a-half. I mean and granted, maybe WB will finally pull the stick out of their butt and say, “Hey, let’s just go for three hours.”

Jamie: Yeah. Three hours would be okay.

Laura: I think they’re going to have to eventually. I mean…

Ben: No, why would they? Why would they?

Andrew: Especially with…

Ben: Order of the Phoenix is the longest book…

Andrew: With the final book?

Jamie: Yeah, but Book Seven, Ben, is going to be huge, and there’s going to be, like, an epilogue at the start…

Laura: Well, I mean, Ben’s right…

Andrew: It’s not going to be the biggest book; she already said that herself.

Laura: Just because it’s not the biggest book doesn’t mean the content wouldn’t take up a lot of screen time.

Andrew: You have to send it off properly.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: You have to send it off properly. Just imagine the ending.

Ben: Well, no. They’re going to make as many cuts as possible to make it two-and-a-half hours. That’s what I think.

Jamie: Yeah, but if you’re going to sit through a two-and-a-half hour film, wouldn’t you sit through a three hour film? It isn’t like you’re going to…

Ben: Not necessarily. There’s a rating. With anything there’s a standard. For example, with the radio the amount of time is like, three minutes and thirty seconds. That’s like the average length for a radio song. Anything past that is considered too long.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: So, even if it’s just four minutes. So, if you have a movie that’s three hours, some people aren’t going to like sitting through that last 30 minutes.

Jamie: Well, I guess. Yeah.

Micah: But I think we all agreed, though, with, Goblet of Fire, it was very fast paced through that entire time.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: It wasn’t like you felt like you were really sitting there.

Andrew: It was. Especially the opening. They rushed through all that. I mean the Quidditch World Cup mainly. That was the biggest thing, but there were a lot of cuts in that. They were kind of obvious, too.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, I agree with Jamie. I think, what’s the real difference? If you’re there for two-and-a-half hours, who cares if you’re there for 25 more minutes?

Laura: Well, that’s also coming from our point of view. We’re Harry Potter dorks. It’s sad to say, but I don’t think that they’re only thinking about appealing to the book fans; they’re thinking about general audiences, too.

Andrew: They can’t think about the book fans because of…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: If you think about just the fans in general, what do they want? A longer movie.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They’ll sit through, well…

Ben: Well, what’s it about? What’s it about, okay? Is it about pleasing the fans, or is it about boosting the bottom line?

Laura: Or making money?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s true.

Jamie: It’s about both. It’s a combination of both.

Andrew: It is, but you know WB does not give priority to the fans.

Laura: No, no, of course not. [laughs]

Andrew: Like, you look at Lord of the Rings. There’s extended versions of the movie on the special two disk DVD and you get the whole thing. They really – Peter – or what was the director’s name?

Laura: Peter Jackson.

Ben: Peter Jackson.

Andrew: Peter Jackson. He really did care about the fans.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Andrew: And that’s why a lot of people did love his work on the films, but then again, there’s a different director for each of these films, and it’s up, really, to WB how much goes in.


News Discussion: Extra Order Scenes on DVD?


Andrew: So, with that said, can we expect to see this all on the DVD? Because that would really be the way to pay the fans back.

Ben: I doubt it.

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Andrew: Yeah. 45 minutes of content. That’s a lot for extra deleted scenes.

Ben: Well, how much – do we know how much extra footage there was for…

Andrew: Goblet of Fire?

Ben: Yeah, Goblet of Fire or Prisoner of Azkaban?

Andrew: What, 20 minutes worth, maybe?

Laura: I think the DVD that had the most extra footage was the Chamber of Secrets one; there were a lot of extra scenes included on the Chamber of Secrets DVD, but it doesn’t amount to 45 minutes, and none of the other DVDs did.

Jamie: None of them nearly.

Andrew: Yeah. I was pretty happy with the Goblet of Fire DVD. That had a lot of extra bonus features. A lot of behind the scenes stuff.

Ben: But seriously, though. I think I heard somewhere that any extra footage they film that was originally going to go in the movie – they cut out – actually does make it to the DVD.


Prisoner of Azkaban on ABC


Andrew: Hmmm. Okay. In other news, Prisoner of… – I wanted to bring up this story because I really want to know the answer to my question. Prisoner of Azkaban aired on ABC the other day, and you know how some people… Does anyone care? Does anyone watch it? Like, the fans? Because it seems like…

Laura: Well, why? You’ve got the DVD. [laughs]

Jamie: People have it on DVD.

Micah: I actually watched it last night.

Andrew: Really?

Micah: I did.

Andrew: Well, you’re a dork.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: People, some people, I just don’t see, like…

Ben: What about people who can’t afford the DVD?

[Ben and Micah laugh]

Andrew: What? It’s true.

Micah: Well, I tend to watch it more when it’s on HBO just because no commercials and things like that, but a lot of times ABC puts on deleted scenes, and I don’t have any of the DVDs with deleted scenes. So…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Micah: I’ll watch for that more than anything else.

Andrew: It doesn’t seem like it’s worth posting on MuggleNet because all of the people on the site are hardcore fans, and chances are they watched it a few days prior to when it’s airing anyway.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew: And, you know, and you look in the comments in the news post and people are like, “Ah, who cares?”

Jamie: Well, exactly. That’s the thing.

Andrew: I don’t know. We should look up the ratings and see what…

Micah: Yeah, that’s a good idea. Last night was a big deal because it was sponsored by Eragon.

Andrew: Oh, was there Eragon stuff? I’m sure Shurtugal.com is going all out.

Laura: I have a question, and I don’t want to make any of our friends over at Shurtugal angry, but who thinks that the Eragon poster is kind of a big rip-off of the Goblet of Fire one? [laughs]

Andrew: What is it?

Laura: Well, haven’t you seen it?

Andrew: I might have. I forget. Is it just a big “E”?

Laura: No. No, no, no. It’s all of them standing around, and it looks…

Andrew: Oh, yeah.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve seen that.

Laura: It looks exactly like the Goblet of Fire poster.

Andrew: Well, of course. They want all the Harry Potter dorks to come out and see it. It’s “the next great adventure film!” That’s not what they’re calling it, but I’m sure that’s what they’re trying to market it to be.


News Discussion: MuggleNet Book


Andrew: Other than that it was a pretty slow news week, but there was one news item that got posted on MuggleNet and nowhere else, Ben.

Ben: Oh! Which one?

Jamie: Yeah, it’s a book. Have you heard of it? We wrote it a few months ago.

Ben: Oh, yeah. [laughs] That one.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Go out and buy it. MuggleNet.com’s What will happen in Harry Potter 7: Who lives? Who dies? Who falls in love? And how the adventure finally ends. The book is written by myself, Jamie, Emerson, Gretchen, and Andy, so go check it out. I mean, you can preorder it from Alivan’s. The book won’t actually be on shelves in your local Barnes and Noble and/or Borders store until late November or early December, so you can pick up a copy now.

Andrew: Is there some sort of money back guarantee I can get if you guys are way off on your predictions?

Ben: Uhhh…

Jamie: We will, uhhh…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Just yeah.

Andrew: Yeah? Okay. [laughs]

Ben: But also, something else…

Laura: You might need it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]


Order Countdown, Visit MuggleShop, Check out Halloween Layout


Ben: Check out MuggleNet now. Speaking of “Order of the Phoenix,” we added Order of the Phoenix countdown.

Andrew: Wooo!

Jamie: Wee.

Ben: So, go ahead and download that.

Andrew: I’m pumped.

Jamie: And MuggleShop.

Ben: We also have a Halloween layout. And, with the holiday season approaching, you can use MuggleNet.com’s new Harry Potter store called MuggleShop. It has every Harry Potter item. For each purchase you make, we earn a commission. It goes towards supporting the podcast, the site, everything, so go purchase your Harry Potter related Christmas items there.


MuggleCast T-Shirt Update


Andrew: Speaking of purchasing, if you do want to help support MuggleCast, you can also purchase a MuggleCast t-shirt. We’ve also learned, guys, that we will only be able to sell the MuggleCast t-shirts until January 1st.

Ben: So now is the time to buy.

Andrew: If you’re thinking about it, yeah, now is the time to buy. And we’re not kidding. We have to be finished selling them.

Ben: Sales will be discontinued!

Jamie: Yeah, we aren’t kidding.

Andrew: Also, don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley. We appreciate everyone’s vote over there to keep everyone in the podcast community reminded that we PWN! [Pronounces it ‘pawn’] at life.


Tangent: PWN!


Ben: [Mocking Andrew] PWN? [pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Andrew: And at podcasting. Yes, we PWN. [Pronounces it ‘pawn’] P-w-n?

Laura: That’s not how you say it.

Andrew: Do you not speak Leet?

Ben: It’s PWN, [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

Laura: It’s PWN. [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, we here in New Jersey say “PWN.” [Pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Ben: It’s PQN. [Pronounces it ‘pone’]

Jamie: No, no, no, you mean just you, Andrew?

Laura: A pawn is a chess piece, Andrew.

Andrew: No crap!

Jamie: We ‘queen and castle’ at everything.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, seriously, you just made another flub, now you’re embarrassed again.

Andrew: No, no, I’m serious. We… No, everyone says “PWN.” [Pronounces it ‘pawn’]

Ben: No they don’t, you’re lying.

Andrew. PWN. [pronounces it ‘pone’] Dork. Whatever.

Ben: I’ve been there. Nobody pronounces it ‘pawn.’


Prophecy 2007


Andrew: Moving on. As we announced last week, we will probably be at Prophecy. We can’t officially announce anything yet. They’ve asked us to not start going at it just yet. But we’ve been getting a lot of emails about it asking if we’re going to be there, and it looks like we will go. Maybe not a live podcast, but we will be there.

Jamie: Aren’t we doing a podcast?

Andrew: Probably. I’m not sure yet. But we can’t guarantee anything yet.


Listener Rebuttal – MuggleCast T-Shirt Update


Andrew: We have a rebuttal for everyone now, and then we’ll get into some fun Halloween discussion on ghosts this week, created by Micah. This rebuttal comes from Miranda of Idaho.

“I wholeheartedly agree with Laura that the Department of Mysteries will play a big role in Book Seven. As a matter of fact [laughs] I think the Department of Mysteries and the Love Room will play a huge role as the setting of the final battle between Harry and Voldemort, with Harry utilizing the power within the room to overcome Voldemort. Even though Harry wasn’t able to open the door in Order of the Phoenix, he has to be one of the few people than could actually enter the Love Room, full of what Dumbledore described as the ‘most beautiful and terrifying power’ because of his mother’s love and his ability to love. It makes sense for the one thing that saved Harry in the first place, love, to once again save him, and it being the first thing that brought Voldemort’s downfall also be his final demise. Truly, the only thing that Voldemort doesn’t understand, obviously, is the ancient magic of love, and since Lily’s unprecedented love for Harry was only enough to save her child and rip Voldemort from his body, it will take even stronger love, such as that in the room, in order to actually kill him. Love the show, and Ben, you’re my favorite.”

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: Clearly this girl is nuts.

[Ben, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: [laughs]Shut up. Good point brought up by Miranda of Idaho. Very nice.

Laura: Thank you, Miranda.

Micah: I don’t know if I agree with the final battle taking place there, though.

Laura: Well, I don’t if that’ll happen, but…

Andrew: I do think that’s a bit of a stretch.

Laura: But, nut, I think that Harry’s going to be there, for some reason.

Andrew: Mhm.

Micah: You think he’s going to study there, don’t you? That’s your big thing, Laura.

Laura: Yes! I don’t think he’s going to go and like, open up a notebook [laughs] and start taking notes, but…

Micah: But he’s going to go there at some point.

Laura: He’s going to go there, yeah. Of course, he has to.


Where Will Final Battle Take Place?


Andrew: Where do you guys think the final battle will take place?

Ben: Hogwarts.

Laura: Not at Hogwarts! Not at Hogwarts. Oh my god.

Andrew: I think it should.

Laura: No!

Ben: Why not, Laura? Why not?

Laura: Every bad fan fiction I’ve ever read in my whole life, they have the final battle take place at Hogwarts, and then…

Micah: No, no, nit

Laura: First years are out fighting Death Eaters. It’s ridiculous. No.

Micah: I think it should be at Godric’s Hollow.

Andrew: Yeah, oh, that would be good. Yeah.


Azkaban in Order of the Phoenix


Andrew: You guys want a cool Azkaban fact?

Laura: Sure.

Andrew: In the movie Order of Phoenix, it’s on a waterfall cliff. Did we say that at the live podcast?

Ben: No.

Micah: No.

Laura: It is, is it?

Andrew: It’s on a waterfall cliff in the shape of a “V.” No, an “A,” but it looks like a “V.” It’s really cool.


MuggleCasters’ Past Halloween Experiences


Andrew: So, since it is our Halloween show, we’re going have a little talk about Halloween in the past. Right, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah, we are. We’re going to talk about what we did for Halloween as children or what we do now if we still like trick-or-treating and enjoy it. Let’s do it. Andrew, what did you do?

Andrew: Does anyone still trick-or-treat right now?

Laura: No.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: I do.

Ben: Micah does.

Andrew: [laughs] Micah. I was just wondering.

Laura: My mom won’t let me.

Andrew: [Laughs and imitates Laura] I can’t be out past eight.

Ben: Out of curiosity, when did you guys stop trick-or-treating? For me it was sixth – fifth grade.

Andrew: Oh, geez. I stopped two or three – no. When was it? Eighth grade, I think I stopped.

Laura: I don’t…

Andrew: I don’t know, I just woke up one morning and was like, “I’m not going trick-or-treating this year. It’s lame.”

[Ben laughs]

Laura: I don’t – I think it was probably eighth grade.

Jamie: How do you guys remember?

Laura: [laughs] It’s kind of sad.

Andrew: Well, we know Micah’s answer.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Jamie, do you still trick-or-treat? Do they even have Halloween over there?

Jamie: No yes they do, but I have a confession to make. I haven’t ever trick-or-treated, ever, in my life. Nor have I dressed up for Halloween.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: I just I’ve just never ever seen the attraction, to be honest, of going out.

Andrew: Even when you were in third grade, you were like, “This isn’t cool?”

Jamie: Oh, yeah, yeah. I was only interested in, sort of, nuclear physics and maths back then. I didn’t…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, seriously. You never dressed up?

Jamie: No, yeah, I just didn’t see the attraction of it. I just thought, you know, in the freezing cold going out and asking for candy, and most people are mean and they don’t give you good candy, they just give you something.

Andrew: How do you know if you’ve never done it? [laughs]

Jamie: Well, yeah, because I have a very pessimistic view of the world, Andrew. Everybody’s mean.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Everyone only cares about themselves. That stuff.

Laura: Do you guys know that they don’t really have Halloween in Australia?

Ben: Hmm.

Andrew: Really?

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: That’s interesting to know.

Jamie: So, yeah. Yeah, just never done it. Maybe I should. Maybe I’ll find it the most thrilling thing in the world, ever. Perhaps.


Micah’s Goofiest Costume


Andrew: I mean, I know I used to. What was the goofiest Halloween costume anyone has dressed up as? How about you, Micah?

Micah: Goofiest was probably in college, dressing up as a Royal Tenenbaums.

Andrew: Oooh, do you have a picture of that?

Micah: I do, actually.

Jamie: Yeah!

Andrew: Any chance we could use it as our album art for this week’s show?

Jamie: For this week?

Micah: Sure.

Jamie: So you can appear on millions of iPods around the world.

Micah: You want to see me dressed up as Gene Hackman.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, that’s my biggest fantasy. I dream that every night.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: A white-haired old man.


Andrew’s Goofiest Costume – M&M or Eminem?


Andrew: I would have to say, I was an M&M one year, and that was kind of weird.

Ben: Okay, you were Eminem or an M&M?

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: An M&M, I said.

Jamie: Oh, I thought you said…

Ben: Oh, I thought you said you were Eminem one year.

Andrew: No! [laughs] I said an M&M.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That’s why I asked you if you carried a chainsaw around with you.

Andrew: No!

Jamie: Because he carries a chainsaw. I didn’t realize – oh my god, that must have sounded so weird.

Ben: I thought you were a rapper.

Andrew: No, I wasn’t the rapper! Why would I be Eminem the rapper?

[Laura Laughs}

Ben: Because [laughs] that’s an actual Halloween costume!

Jamie: Andrew…

Andrew: It is? I’ve never seen someone dress up as Eminem. [laughs]

Jamie: What did you think I meant when I…

Andrew: Eminem isn’t a costume.

Ben: How old were you when you were an M&M?

Andrew: Third grade. [laughs]

Ben: Oh, I was going to say. If you were any older than that, that would be funny.

Jamie: How old is third grade?

Micah: You realize the avatars now, right? Are going to be Andrew’s head on an M&M.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Whatever. If someone does that I’ll just put the picture up of me dressed up as an M&M. I don’t care.

Jamie: How old is third grade?

Andrew: Seven or eight.

Jamie: Andrew, what do you think I meant when I said, “Did you bring a chainsaw with you?”

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: I thought you were joking because it would be a candy M&M and a chainsaw, so it would be kind of funny.

Jamie: Oh my god!

Laura: Yeah, I honestly didn’t get it either yesterday. I was like, what is he talking about?

Jamie: I thought you meant Eminem.

Andrew: Eminem does not carry around a chainsaw!

Jamie: Eminem does though. Eminem.

Andrew: No, he doesn’t!

Jamie: Yes, he does. There’s a picture of him with like, a mask on holding a chainsaw.

Andrew: A picture.

Jamie: Yeah. That means he has done it. Hence, he has done it before. Therefore…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: All right. I guess so.


Jamie’s Negative View of Halloween


Micah: Jamie, do you still plan to steal candy?

Jamie: Yes, I’m not going to be nice to anyone. I think my pessimistic view of the world is true, that everyone’s mean. I’m not going to completely disappoint myself. I’m going to be mean as well.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I’m going to steal everything. I’m going to dropkick pumpkins. I’m going to – I’m going to take off costumes and throw them in the garbage can.


Main Discussion: Ghosts at Hogwarts


Andrew: So, continuing with our cute little Halloween theme here, we’re going to ghosts at Hogwarts because there are quite a few of them and we’ve never really talked about them much at all. We’ve talked about Peeves once or twice, we’ve probably had a little discussion about Nearly Headless Nick and Moaning Myrtle, but never really had a full discussion on all the ghosts. Isn’t that right, Micah?


House Ghosts


Micah: That is right, Andrew. Ghosts at Hogwarts. You know, each House has a ghost, so what characteristics do you guys think that a House ghost has that links them to a particular House?

Laura: I think it was…

Micah: Based on what we’ve seen.

Laura: …the house they were in when they went to school.

Andrew: Is that always the house that they were…

Jamie: I think it probably is.

Andrew: …that they represent?

Laura: Well, why would… Okay, if Nearly Headless Nick were a Ravenclaw, why would he be the Gryffindor ghost?

Andrew: What I, I… Yeah.

Laura: That makes no sense.

Jamie: That is very true. [laughs] So, yeah.

Laura: I think The Bloody Baron was a Hufflepuff, in that case.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: No, so Nearly Headless Nick was a…

Ben: Obviously.

Andrew: …brave young lad.

Micah: Yep.

Andrew: That’s – that could explain why he is nearly headless, folks.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: And the Fat Friar was…

Andrew: Maybe Harry’s going the same way.


Becoming a House Ghost


Micah: How do they become House ghosts? Is there a selection process?

Jamie: Yeah, you apply.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Fill in a form and send it off, and then…

Ben: No, see, I hate these…

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Ben: …questions that you can’t even answer.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I mean, there’s like [laughs] it’s all just conjecture, there’s nothing to back it up.

Jamie: The entire show’s conjecture. Jo’s going to answer it in Book Seven, so we should…

Andrew: How do you know?

Jamie: Because she said she will.

Ben: Did she?

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Yeah, she did. She said, “There will be more information on why people become ghosts, and why they choose that path.” Because as Nearly Headless Nick says in Book Five…

Ben: But not why they become House ghosts.

Jamie: No, but ghosts in general.

Ben: That’s different.

Jamie: Ghosts in general.

Ben: Oh.

Andrew: Maybe they become house ghosts because they do some sort of service to the school…

Jamie: Yes, that could be it.

Andrew: …that the headmaster wanted to recognize.

Laura: Maybe because they chose to stay at the school. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, right, but if…

Laura: So, if they’re going to stay at the school, then…

Andrew: No, but if I want to turn into a ghost… If I want to be a ghost and I want to stay at the school, that automatically makes me a House ghost? We’re talking about the House ghosts here, just the one. [clears throat]

Laura: Okay, well if they have to do some kind of special service, I doubt The Bloody Baron is exactly considered a…

Ben: No.

Andrew: You don’t, you don’t know that.

Laura: …genuinely nice guy. [laughs]

Ben: Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle did a special service to the school.

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s not everyone who does a special service. It’s just..> Do you think… See, I was planning on saying, “Do you think, when the House ghost dies, he gets replaced by another one?” But can they retire or not?

[Ben, Micah and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Can they say, “Well, screw this. I don’t want to do this anymore,” and then go, or are they tied down…

Laura: No, they…

Jamie: …by a contract?

Laura: I don’t think they can.

Andrew: Well, what else, what else, Laura, do you think could possibly…

Laura: Could possibly what?

Andrew: You know, what lets them become a House ghost? There’s only one per House. That was…

Laura: Well…

Andrew: …the point.

Laura: I just…

Andrew: And then they – they’re probably there forever.

Laura: Yeah, but…

Andrew: I would think.

Laura: …I don’t think they’re specified as “the House ghost.” I think that’s just how they’re known to the students. There’s probably more than one ghost per House.

Jamie: I doubt… There are loads of ghosts…

Laura: It’s just the ones we see.

Jamie: Yeah, but, but that’s – actually, that’s a point, Andrew, you know.


Dumbledore’s Control Over Ghosts


Laura: It’s not like – it’s not like Dumbledore runs around saying, “They’re your ghost prefects,” or whatever, they’re just ghosts that happen to live in the houses.

Andrew: I guess so.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, there have got to be more than five, six ghosts in the entire school that just float.

Andrew: But even so, wanting to stay at Hogwarts, that has to be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …a decision that’s up to the headmaster. I mean, I would think you would really had to have been a great student…

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …at the school, in order, you know, for Dumbledore or whoever to say, “You can stay in my school.”

Laura: Is it up to Dumbledore, though? Do you really think he has that much control over…

Andrew: Well…

Laura: …the school?

Andrew: …the current, current headmaster?

Laura: Peeves is in the school, and it doesn’t seem like it’s too easy to get rid of him.

Jamie: No, no.

Ben: Well, that’s because Dumbledore wants him around.

Jamie: Exactly. There’s a reason.

Laura: No, I think…

Ben: No, no, no. Dumbledore won’t oust him. They’ve said that before.

Jamie: Of course, that’s true, yeah.

Laura: I know, but I mean, I don’t think that Dumbledore can say – tell a ghost to get out of his school.

Jamie: Of course he can! He’s so powerful, it’s ridiculous.

Ben: Yes, he could.

Laura: Well, he…

Andrew: He could.

Laura: He can say it, but he can’t make it happen.

Jamie: Of course he can! He can… Laura, he can do anything. He can do absolutely anything.

Laura: I’m not saying I know it for sure. I’m saying, yeah, he can do absolutely everything except stop himself from getting killed.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Ohhh!

Jamie: But he wanted to die, so it’s fine.


Nearly Headless Nick


Micah: Looking at some of the House ghosts, specifically, Nearly Headless Nick, Gryffindor, he died on Halloween, October 31, 1492, and this is something interesting I found out and I didn’t know this, but his day that he died is actually the basis for the entire timeline in the Harry Potter series. Did you guys know that?

Ben: What do you mean?

Jamie: He means that 19 – 1492 is, is when he died, okay? And in – and he celebrates his 500th death, death day in Chamber of Secrets at Halloween, which means that Chamber of Secrets takes place in 1992. Which also means that Philosopher’s Stone

Andrew: Oooh.

Jamie: …took place in 1991, and Harry’s parents were attacked by Voldemort in 1981, and that forms the basis for the entire timeline of the films. Sorry, of the books.

Ben: Hey, I’m not a big fan of…

Andrew: I see.

Ben: …doing that.

Andrew: The timeline thing?

Ben: Yeah, if it makes any sense.

Andrew: Yeah. Some people put a lot of speculation on, like, the timelines. Like there’s a lot of – there’s that one theory about the missing day in between when Harry’s parents were killed and when Dumbledore took Harry to the Dursley’s.

Laura: Well, timeline, timeline or not, I – that day was missing. I mean, if you think about it, the Potters were killed Halloween night, and Harry didn’t show up at the Dursley’s until the next night.

Andrew: I mean, that could just be that he had him at Hogwarts for a day to figure out what the heck they were going to do with Harry.

Laura: But, but Dumbledore didn’t take Harry, Hagrid did.

Andrew: I don’t think they have to make a big deal out of it. All right, so Hagrid took him back to the school, and then Dumbledore, you know, tried to figure out what to do. I mean, that’s a big decision; where you’re going to leave that kid, and…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …didn’t Dumbledore say that he was trying to get in contact with relatives, and that’s the only one he could find?

Laura: I don’t think so. I think that they knew that those were his only living relatives, but…

Andrew: Yeah, well, I mean…

Laura: And it’s not like he exactly warned them before he left Harry on their doorstep. [laughs]

Andrew: Right, yeah. I mean, so that’s a big decision. I think people need to stop going crazy over that. [in a mock worried voice] “Oh, what’s happening in the one day? It’s all wrong.” It just doesn’t…

Laura: I don’t think it’s wrong.

Andrew: There’s plenty of explanation.

Laura: I think that if there’s an extra day in there for a reason, it’s not anything she did wrong. [laughs]

Andrew: Well…

Laura: It’s something else that…

Andrew: Well, that’s what I mean. I mean, people are like, “Explain it.” But there’s no explanation.

Laura: Yeah. I don’t think it’s a screw up, essentially.

Andrew: I don’t think so either.


Nick and Harry Discuss Sirius


Micah: Well, Halloween does seem to play a big role in the series in all the different books, for the most part. Do we want to talk a little bit about some of the other events that have occurred?

Jamie: Why don’t we…why don’t we just…

Andrew: Sure.

Laura: Sure.

Jamie: …finish talking about Nearly Headless Nick.

Andrew: Nearly Headless… Yeah.

Jamie: …and talking about when Harry went to speak to him at the end of Order of the Phoenix. What do we think of that, if we can remember? He went to ask him if Sirius could come back, and, well, one of the things that happened was he asked him if Sirius could come back and he said, “He will not choose that path,” and Harry said, “Why? Of course he will. He wants to see me again. Of course he will,” and then he said, “No, he won’t,” which makes me think that perhaps there’s a huge price to pay when you choose to become a ghost. If it means you can come back, there’s got to be something else you can’t do. You know? Like, love or something like that, maybe, and that’s why Sirius…

Ben: Eat. [laughs]

Jamie: …won’t come back. [laughs] Yeah, eat, that’s the big thing.

[Andrew, Ben, and Micah laugh]

Jamie: So, yeah.

Andrew: Maybe he just, maybe he just wouldn’t want to see Harry…

Jamie: Through the eyes of a ghost?

Andrew: Yeah, like, the relationship would never be the same, I don’t think.

Ben: Well, maybe…

Andrew: It’s not like…

Ben: Maybe it has something to do with like, once you become a ghost, you can never, like, you’re always going to exist, you know what I mean?

Laura: Well…

Ben: Like, that makes sense for that to be a sacrifice.

Laura: Well, that’s pretty much what Nick said. He said that it was just kind of a pale existence, that it was basically mimicking the existence they once had. They just sort of got to watch from the sidelines.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: If you get what I’m saying?

Jamie: Yeah. No, yeah, I think that’s true.

Micah: Also, you limit – and let’s not react in a bad way to this – you limit the physical interaction there can be, and I don’t think that Sirius…

Laura: Well, yeah…

Ben: Can ghosts interact with other ghosts?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. They…Peeves…

Laura: [laughs] They do all the time.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: No, I mean like physically.

Jamie: Yep.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: In their own physical sense.

Andrew: Like shake hands?

Ben: Yeah, or can they touch each other? Not in a bad way.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: But like, you know what I’m talking about how like Nearly Headless Nick – this may be a movie thing – but his head falls off and then he reaches up and he pulls it back.

Laura: Well, of course he can…

Andrew: Well, he’s got to be able to…

Laura: …you can touch yourself.

Andrew: Well, I guess if you can touch yourself and you’re a ghost…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …then you can probably touch other ghosts.


The Bloody Baron


Micah: All right, the Bloody Baron. How do you guys think the Bloody Baron died?

Jamie: [laughs] He got hacked to pieces, considering all the blood on him.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs] That’s what I was going to say.

Jamie: Or he slipped over a blood factory and banged his head on the ground and died and then that’s why all the…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Well, whose or what’s blood do you guys think is on him? It’s described as being “silvery.” Do you think it belongs to unicorns?

Jamie: Yeah but he…unicorns…

Laura: I think it’s silvery just because he’s a ghost.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I mean, they’re white and transparent, I think the blood is just silvery because of the composition of a ghost’s body.

Micah: All right, Laura, so how can he keep Peeves under control?

Jamie: Because he’s scary as *bleep*.

Laura: Yeah, obviously there’s something about him that scares Peeves.

Micah: Just like Dumbledore.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: Meaning Dumbledore can also keep… Well, then what do you think it is about him that scares him?

Andrew: Yeah, what can the Bloody Baron do to Peeves?

Jamie: No, he can, I mean, if it goes back to what we were talking about how ghosts can touch, then clearly, it could be something physical he can do to Peeves.


The Fat Friar


Micah: So, the Fat Friar. How do you guys think he died?

Jamie: He doesn’t seem particularly interesting, the Fat Friar, does he? He just…

Andrew: No.

Laura: No.

Jamie: He, yeah, but as it says here. Sorry, I mean, what I mean is, I have a point. He tries to get Peeves invited to the opening feast in Sorcerer’s Stone and so he seems to be extremely forgiving and he doesn’t care. He’s just happy-go-lucky. Why is he like that? Do you think it represents the house?

Laura: Well, he’s a Hufflepuff.

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: What? So, [laughs] yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, it sounds like he represents the house.

Ben: Maybe he was too trusting in his life and that’s why he got killed.

Jamie: In his previous life. A bit like Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Good speculation, Ben.

Micah: So you’re saying Dumbledore’s a Hufflepuff?

Andrew: No. [laughs]


The Grey Lady


Micah: All right, the final house ghost, the Grey Lady from Ravenclaw. We really don’t know a whole lot about her. We don’t really see her that much in the books, but Jamie maybe you know something about this, there are various Grey Lady ghost stories that exist in London. Is that true?

Jamie: Ummm, I have heard a few, yeah. Lady Jane Grey was the great-granddaughter of Henry VII and she reigned as Queen, but she was actually uncrowned and she only reigned for nine days, which, you know, is absolutely nothing. And then I think she was beheaded at the Tower of London. So, yeah, that’s why her ghost is reported to haunt it. But, she’s supposed to haunt other castles as well in different places – haunted places. So, I mean, is there anything there? Like, maybe the Grey Lady was only at Hogwarts for nine days and then she got killed?

Andrew: Yeah, I was going to say maybe… Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: A bit unlike…

Andrew: Maybe Dumbledore felt bad for her, so he was like, “Come be a house ghost.”

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, well, don’t worry you can become a House ghost.

Ben: How about Professor Binns? How did he…

Andrew: Can we stay on top of Grey Lady for a second?

Jamie: Yeah, Ben, yeah, Ben.

Andrew: Not literally on top of her, I mean…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We’d just fall through and hit the ground.

Micah: So, it’s possible that Jo took the name from there?

Jamie: Oh, I’m sure she did. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, there’s really no doubt behind that.

Andrew: That would probably the most reasonable explanation for…

Jamie: Yeah, but she’s a very mysterious ghost. I think we hear once that she was floating by or something like that but we didn’t hear anything about her. Perhaps we’ll find something new in Book Seven?

Micah: I think she’s in Half-Blood Prince, if I remember. They said some ghost went by as Harry was talking to Hagrid about overhearing the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: She seems to be around at kind of interesting times because they said in the movie for Chamber of Secrets and I don’t know if this was in the books too. It was a scene that was cut out where – it’s the first time that Harry goes to open Tom Riddle’s diary.

Andrew: Yeah?

Micah: And he tells the Grey Lady to get lost.

Jamie: No, he doesn’t, does he?

Andrew: Oh?

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: It’s a deleted scene.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, sorry. It’s a deleted scene, I see. Sorry.

Micah: But, I don’t know.

Andrew: Why would they cut that? What was in replace of it? Just without the Grey Lady going behind him?

Micah: Yeah, I think so.

Andrew: Do you think Jo could have any involvement in that or they just realized maybe it served no purpose?

Jamie: Oh, she could have had, yeah. If it’s like…

Laura: She could have, but, I mean, I think it was…

Andrew: How do we know it’s the Grey Lady?

Laura: Yeah, I mean, I just think it was another cut they were…


Peeves


Micah: So, going back to Peeves, why do you guys think he’s allowed to stay at Hogwarts? Why does Dumbledore let him?

Andrew: I think that’s just Dumbledore’s got a soft spot in his heart.

Laura: Yeah, I think Dumbledore is kind of amused by him, to be honest.

Ben: I think there’s some other reason. I don’t know what, but there’s some other reason.

Andrew: Why? Kicking him out would just be mean and that’s not like Dumbledore.

Micah: But, he’s also a poltergeist. He’s not an actual ghost.

Ben: What’s the difference?

Jamie: One’s mean.

Laura: Poltergeists were never alive.

Micah: Well, actually…

Jamie: Oh, is that true?

Laura: Yeah, poltergeists are pure energy, it’s what they are. I mean, poltergeists are actually considered to be real things. Not like the ones you see in the movies, but, especially like young teenagers, like 13 or 14-year old girls exhibit so much electrical energy that they can actually make stuff fall over when they’re really angry.

Jamie: Ahhh.

Laura: And that’s considered a poltergeist.

Ben: Let’s see…

Laura: So, it’s actually, it’s kind of a manifestation of a residence, I think.

Ben: Hold on. Hold on, noisy ghosts…

Micah: It says it’s a jerk. And a noisy ghost… Yeah.

Ben: Poltergeists are invisible masses of spirit or energy that may or may not be connected to a living human agent. Some of the most common poltergeist activities include loud, unexplained noise, levitation, the moving of objects, and electrical problems. It’s from Google.

Andrew: Okay, so there’s no stopping Peeves, so it’s not like Dumbledore can be mad at him for doing what he’s doing.

Jamie: No, I’m sure that Dumbledore could get him out if he wanted to, though. There’s no way he couldn’t find a way. Well, he couldn’t now, he’s dead.

Laura: I think Peeves probably came with Hogwarts, kind of like the way…

Jamie: Maybe it’s Slytherin.

Laura: …house elves come with houses.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Could be.

Ben: I don’t know.

Jamie: No, I was just going to say, Laura can’t be right because Hogwarts predates Nearly Headless Nick, so the ghosts of the thing obviously came afterwards.

Laura: But poltergeists aren’t ghosts of people. [laughs] That’s the thing.

Jamie: Yeah, I know.

Ben: They can be though.

Jamie: But, Ben’s just…

Laura: No, no, no, no, no. The definition you read said that it can be connected to a person, meaning it can be caused by a person.

Jamie: But…

Laura: Not that it’s a person’s spirit.

Ben: Right. But it’s the same thing, it means “noisy ghost.”

Laura: No, it’s not.


Professor Binns


Micah: All right, wrapping up the ghost discussion – Professor Binns. He didn’t even notice that he was dead, he just got up from teaching one day and kept on teaching.

Jamie: He must have realized when he tried to sort of put a sausage roll in his mouth and it just fell down and hit the ground.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: He must know he’s dead now. He’d have to be gormless, very gormless.

Micah: Maybe not.

Ben: So he just fell asleep by the fireplace? Isn’t that what happened?

Jamie: And died and then…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: …got up, so he must have had unfinished business as well. But you know, is to impart knowledge of goblins into the minds of young, eager students.

Ben: What did he die from? Do you know?

Laura: Old age, I think. I don’t think it was terribly specific.

Jamie: No.

Andrew: He fell into it.

Jamie: Yeah [laughs]

Micah: And this question [laughs], it’s kind of far out there but he taught Tom Riddle. Do you think he can provide any useful information for Harry?

Laura: I think that was what Slughorn was for.

Micah: Yeah, I agree with that.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true.

Micah: Well, what’s left?

Andrew: I mean, well, he could tell Harry about Tom Riddle. Is that…

Laura: I don’t think so though.

Andrew: …what the question was about?

Laura: Because, you see, he doesn’t pay that much attention to the students anyway.

Andrew: It doesn’t matter, I mean, well…

Laura: He keeps calling Harry “Mr. Perkins” or something…

Jamie: But Laura, he…

Laura: …he doesn’t even call him by his last name.

Jamie: Yeah, but he knows a lot about the Chamber of Secrets. So if he knows about that, he clearly know stuff about Hogwarts’ folklore legend and stuff, although of course, he said it didn’t exist which was incorrect; wrong.

Andrew: I mean. And plus, it was a really long time ago that he taught Tom, so he could possibly, I don’t know. You would know something about your students, like he’s got to know about Harry. After teaching him, he’s got to gather some information about him. Like maybe he knows a weakness or something.

Laura: I guess.

Andrew: I don’t know, you never know, there could be a whole back-story to it.

Laura: Maybe, I just think that the purpose that Slughorn served was to provide insight on Tom Riddle as a student at Hogwarts. I think that’s already been taken care of.

Jamie: Mhm, agreed.

Andrew: Yep, all right, that concludes our discussion on some ghosts at Hogwarts. Was it spooky?

[Laughs comically with Ben].


Listener Rebuttal – Ron and the Brains


Andrew: Before we get into our little Halloween debate, first, we have a rebuttal from Mark from Northern Ireland, age 29. He writes:

“With regards to the idea that Ron may have suffered lasting effects as a result of his attack by a brain. You should remember the quote by Dumbledore where Dumbledore does say:

‘Well, Harry’ said Dumbledore, finally turning away from the baby bird, ‘you will be pleased to hear that none of your fellow students are going to suffer lasting damage from the night’s events’.

Dumbledore made it clear to Harry that none of his friends, including Ron, will suffer no lasting damage, although J.K.R. briefly reminds us about lingering scars on Ron’s arm in Half-Blood Prince. In the chapter “Hermione’s Helping Hand,” there is a passage that reads:

‘You can still see the marks where that awful woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your own story anyway.’

She says to Harry. And then Ron says:

‘You can still see where those brains got a hold on me in the Ministry of Magic, look,’ said Ron shaking back his sleeves.’

‘And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer either,’ Hermione finished.”

[laughs] Hermione, you’re so funny. So, what do you guys think? I mean, this is interesting because, on the one hand, Dumbledore is saying that there is no lasting damage, but what is he talking about? Physically or mentally?

Jamie: Exactly. I think that Dumbledore would think that, you know, physical damage is absolutely nothing. The complete opposite of what Voldemort would think, who would think that physical damage is terrible…

Micah: Right.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: You know. I think that Dumbledore would always consider there’s no lasting mental damage, but he might have a few scars, which is nothing to what Dumbledore would, you know.

Andrew: Right. That’s a good way to look at it.

Laura: I think that it can go either way honestly.


Debate: Halloween


Andrew: Yeah. Moving on to our debate now. Today’s debate topic is: Trick-or-Treating is a morally vapid delinquent activity that exploits the fear of human beings into giving material gifts. Jamie and I are affirming and Micah and Laura are denying, and Ben will make his decision at the end. Jamie, you got two minutes. Go!

Jamie: Okay, while Trick-or-Treating is extremely, you know, important to children and they think it’s quite a bit of fun, it really is very, very morally vapid. And, you know, it’s delinquent activity because people think that dressing up in costumes is fun, it’s scary, but they don’t realize the implications of what they’re doing. You just imagine, you’re 85-years old sitting at home and somebody knocks on your door.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: You think, “It’s got to be a visitor,” because at that age, you’ve lived in a different generation, and you think that everyone, you know, is being nice. When you open the door, you don’t realize that it’s a joking child. You see a person with a knife and automatically, you think, you know, this could be very bad. It’s dangerous or bad things can happen. The only good thing that can come out of it is free candy, and things that are free aren’t really free. So…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …when a child takes that free bit of candy, he thinks it’s free, but really, it could cost a dear, dear old person their, you know…

Ben: Dignity.

Jamie: …enjoyment for that evening. Yeah, their dignity. It could’ve hurt them, you know, mentally to open the door and see somebody there. Also, getting things for free…

Ben: One minute, Andrew.

Jamie: Okay, go, Andrew.

Andrew: Not only that, you will be footing a bill for getting all those cavities taken out of your teeth.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because you eat so much candy that night that you won’t have teeth. Not only that, I agree with Jamie; it is dangerous. My T.V. tech teacher told me a story once where his friend would put staples [laughs] into the candy and give it to kids

Jamie: Yeah. Loads of children have died.

Andrew: And these kids would eat it and then hurt themselves really bad because you’re chewing on staples. [laughs] No, wait, were they staples? Or were they nails? Oh, no, they were thumbtacks [laughs] inside the candy and it’s just terrible. It’s very dangerous. You never know what’s going into your candy.

Jamie: Yeah, also, also, things that are free aren’t automatically good. You shouldn’t get things free now-a-days. You should buy your candy. You should work hard, manual labor, buy your candy, that’s the way the world goes around. Go!

Ben: Okay, that concludes [laughs] the affirmative.

[Andrew giggles]

Laura and Micah…

Andrew: We won.

Ben: …tell me, tell me, why is Trick-or-Treating not morally vapid?

Laura: Well, I think first of all, if you want to say that it’s bad to get things for free, then you need to get rid of Christmas, not Halloween.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: And like any other holiday, it’s just something for people to look forward to. It’s Jo’s favorite holiday; I don’t think she’d endorse something that was morally vapid. It’s a celebration passed down, which originally was honored the dead. Which, you know, isn’t a bad thing. And saying that Halloween causes delinquency is like saying…

[Andrew and Micah laughs]

Laura: …that Harry Potter creates Satanism. So, you’re wrong.

Ben: Mic-er?

Micah: I mean, Halloween brings about a sense of community too, you’re going around and you’re interacting with your neighbors…

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: You know? if you’re getting something free out of it, I don’t see how that’s wrong, and dressing up.

Laura: And see, I don’t know about you, Andrew, but my parents always checked my candy [laughs] to make sure no one put anything in it, maybe…

Micah: And honestly…

Laura: …maybe nobody did that for you.

Andrew: Is it open now?

Micah: That’s sort of…

Jamie: No, not yet.

Micah: …morally vapid on the sense on the person providing the candy, not the kids going out and Trick-or-Treating.

Laura: Exactly.

Jamie: Okay, okay, a community, you say, Laura you say that in… Sorry, Micah, you said that it encourages…

Micah: Yeah, because I sound like Laura.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: …a community. How does it encourage community? I’ve never, ever seen dressing up as scary figures encouraging, you know, friendship and stuff like that. Laura, you said…

Laura: Well, Jamie, you wouldn’t…

Jamie: You said… Laura, Laura, Laura…

Laura: …know. You’ve never gone Trick-or-Treating.

Jamie: …Laura, Laura, Trick-or-Treating…

Andrew: I second Jamie’s motion…

Jamie: …teaches people to interrupt…

Andrew: …as an experienced Trick-or-Treater.

Jamie: Yeah, there you go, see? And also, you said that the proper holiday was, you know, brought down from All Hallows Eve, celebrating the dead. I fail to see how going out, engaging in juvenile delinquent and immature activity…

Laura: Okay, people…

Jamie: …encourages a proper holiday.

Laura: Jamie, people are going to participate in delinquent activity whether there’s Halloween or not.

Jamie: No, it’s… They should be at home reading a book.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: They should be, I don’t know how it increases… It just teaches people that they can get things for free by scaring people.

Laura: So does Christmas and Easter and…

Jamie: Yes, it does.

Laura: …every other holiday.

Jamie: It’s all commercialized.

Andrew: It’s the season of giving.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: This is not the season of giving. We’re not there yet.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: They should be…

Micah: Jamie, just because you got egged and toilet papered as a kid doesn’t mean that you have to hate Halloween.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: I’ve got one word for you all. In the words of Steve Irwin [does Steve impression] “Danger!” It’s dangerous, it’s very dangerous.

Jamie: All the bad things that can happen do not outweigh – sorry, do outweigh all the good things that could happen.

Andrew: You could hurt yourself.

Jamie: It’s just, there are so many things that could go wrong with it. The parents are letting children – and it’s normally children, of course, who go trick or treating. They are letting them out of their sight. In today’s world, you don’t know who is out there.

Micah: They walk around with them! What are you talking about!

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: They could knock on somebody’s door, a very dangerous door, and open it and they could be – there could be people there who…

Laura: Okay, that is not the responsibility of the holiday, that’s the responsibility of the parent.

Jamie: You’re absolutely… Laura, You’re absolutely right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: They can go trick or treating and get taken in by a [pronounces it “pee-do-file”] pedophile…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: And bad things can happen. But it’s fine because All Hollow’s Eve is celebration of the dead. Is it right to encourage it and increase it by [laughs] this? It’s just, it’s just dangerous, it’s a dangerous activity. Everyone will still have fun without it. Children – there are other ways to have fun than going out, on your own or with parents because some people do it on their own, and knocking on doors and getting free candy. It’s…

Micah: It’s one day out of the year, though!

Jamie: There are economic reasons, educational reasons, social reasons.

Laura: What are the economic reasons, Jamie?

[Ben, Andrew, Laura and Jamie laugh]

Laura: What are the economic reasons?

Jamie: The people should be taught the value of money, Laura.

Micah: I’m sure Hershey and Nestle and all those companies don’t have any problem with the economic reasons.

Jamie: You cannot get things free by scaring people. That is not what you should be taught when you are young.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: You don’t scare people! People open up the door and gush about how cute the little kids are in front of them.

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, because people dressed as Grim Reapers with blood pouring down them. Oh, lovely! I think they’re cute.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Okay, Andrew…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Laura – Laura and Micah. You have one minute to tell me why you should win.

Laura: I think that… I mean, there’s no question. It’s a holiday that creates community. If you want to say get rid of Halloween, then you have to say get rid of Christmas, because there are tons of dangers that can come up with Christmas. I mean, come on, you’ve got a fat guy coming down your chimney. [laughs]

Micah: [laughs] If that’s not a pedophile, I don’t know what is.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Anything else?

Jamie: That is a good argument so far.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: And it’s a holiday. You’re not getting rid of it, you’re not going to change it no matter what happens.

Laura: Yeah, and like I said, you can’t say that Halloween causes people to run out and be delinquents. People are delinquents everyday. [laughs]

Jamie: Okay, can we go now, Ben?

Laura: It’s just an excuse.

Ben: Five seconds.

Jamie: It’s been about five minutes.

Ben: Two, one. Okay, Andrew and Jamie, why, why?

Jamie: Okay. Laura, you have changed this completely saying that we should get rid of the holiday. We shouldn’t get rid of the holiday, the holiday is a celebration of the dead. People should use Halloween to remember love ones past, not go around.

Andrew: Yeah!

Jamie: When you think of Halloween, you think of Trick-or Treating. You think of getting material gain. Material gain is a bad thing, okay.

Andrew: Yeah!

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But we should be celebrating our –

Micah: So, you don’t want those Lucky Charms?

Laura: Okay, so…

Ben: No, no, no, no! You guys can’t interrupt! You guys can’t interrupt.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah! [laughs]

Ben: Shut up, you can’t interrupt. They didn’t interrupt you, so shut up.

Jamie: It is important to remember the true meaning of holidays. Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ; Halloween: remembering the dead. We shouldn’t commercialize things. Yes, we have commercialized all these holidays, we shouldn’t do it though. Halloween we should go back and go back to its roots. Remember the dead. Trick-or-Treating is dangerous – it can be very dangerous. It teaches people the wrong things. It encourages them to egg houses – that is not good in today’s world. You can’t go around doing that, but it teaches them that it’s fine because it’s a joke. But it’s not a joke. They then think it’s funny to do it. They do it at other times, it turns into bricks.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: They cause complete stuff – bad things to property. It is not a good idea.

Ben: Okay, okay. That’s it.

Andrew: Hey, let me… I have one last thing. It’s not Trick-or-Treat: it’s trick or DIE!

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I agree.

Andrew: Thank you.

Ben: Something that was funny about that entire time was the only input Andrew added was [does impression of Andrew] “Yeah”.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I know.

Jamie: That was an awesome ending, Andrew. I liked that.

Andrew: Thanks.

Ben: Okay, I’m going to have to vote with Andrew and Jamie.

[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: And here’s why. Here’s why, it’s because…

Laura: Here is why: because Ben has a pattern of not voting for the team that Laura is on. I’ve noticed this.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: No.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Not true, not true. I beat you. I debated against you and beat you once. Anyways – no. Here is why, here’s why. Laura and Micah were focusing on saying, “Well, the holiday is not going to be eliminated anyway and it creates community.” But when you look to what we were debating over is that: “Trick-or-Treating is a morally vapid delinquent activity that exploits the fear of human beings into giving material gifts,” and that is what Andrew and Jamie focused on. They focused on the fact that it’s promoting the…

Andrew: Yeah!

Jamie: Yeah!

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …what tangible gifts you get out of the holiday, rather than focusing on the true meaning of Halloween.

Andrew: Death.

Ben: You guys, Laura and Micah, brought up Christmas. “Well, what about Christmas; that encourages it too.” Jamie and Andrew weren’t saying that Christmas is okay, they were saying that it’s all bad. It’s all bad. You guys never actually denied the fact that it’s encouraging kids one night of the year to go out and egg peoples houses and toilet paper them. So, yep.

Laura: Actually, we did, Ben. [laughs]

Ben: Huh?

Laura: That was – our big thing was saying Halloween doesn’t cause delinquency.

Ben: Yes, it does though.

Laura: People are delinquents everyday.

Ben: No, they are. But that’s one night where it’s like everyone goes out and does it.

Jamie: It encourages it, though.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Yes they are everyday, but it still encourages them.

Laura: Okay, people do that at Christmas too. People do that on holidays.

Ben: No, they don’t!

Laura: Yes, they do!

Ben: Not nearly as much, not nearly as much.

Andrew: No, nobody causes trouble on Christmas. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, who goes out and eggs houses on Christmas?

Laura: Oh, please!

Andrew: I’ve never heard of that to be honest with you.

Laura: People…

Jamie: Laura…

Laura: People use excuses…

Ben: She made it up.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: No, I didn’t.

Jamie: But, Laura…

Andrew: Alright well, we’ll see what the listeners think.

Ben: Your vote.


Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul


Andrew: Popular… How about we just let the… No. No, we’ll do the same debate rules. While we’re doing some outrageous discussion topics here, we have a Chicken Soup for everyone that is pretty funny and I thought we could read it this week. It comes from Paige, 18, of Massachusetts. She writes:

“The other day I was riding the bus to Harvard Square while listening to MuggleCast and at one of the stops about 97 high schoolers got on the already fairly full bus. Each time we went around a curve in the road or around a corner we were so weighed down that the bottom of the bus would scrape ominously on the road and we would tilt to one side. For the first couple minutes, I was terrified that I was going to die, then I realized that it would not have been so bad to die at that moment because I was listening to MuggleCast. [Andrew laughs] Needless to say I did not die, however thank you for alleviating my fear of dying.”

Wow!

Micah: That is *bleep*.

Jamie: Wow.

Andrew: You guys didn’t think that was funny? That was funny, I burst out laughing.

Micah: Ben is right, these people just make *bleep* up.

Ben: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]


Listener Rebuttals – Accio Pronunciation


Andrew: We also have a rebuttal now from – I guess this is a lady named She Who Must Not Be Named, 18, of Absolutely Nowhere. She writes:

“Dear MuggleCast, I’ve been wondering how on Earth you are supposed to pronounce [pronounces it ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio. My friends have several theories on it, on how it’s pronounced, but I figured I’d have the excerpts…experts…”

Ben: [laughs] Excerpts.

Andrew: [laughs]

“…argue about it. So far I’ve heard it about three different ways, but I was wondering what you guys think. Is it Accio [pronounced ‘ak-see-oh’], Accio [pronounced ‘ah-key-oh’], or Accio [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’]. I personally think it is Accio [pronounced ‘ak-see-oh’] because the word ‘accept’ also begins with ‘acc’ and is pronounced ‘ak-sept.’ However, no theories are safe from you, so I’ll let you handle that.”

I actually went on and used their cool pronunciation guide.

Jamie: Oh.

Ben: Is it [pronounced ‘haw-grid’] Hagrid too?

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: Can you say [pronounced ‘haw-grid’] Hagrid?

Jamie: [pronounced ‘a-las-tor’] Alastor.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus. Rubeus.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I don’t know, but what do you guys think it is?

Laura: I think it’s [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: Hey Ben, shhh, you know who I mean [pronounced ‘vol-de-more’] Voldemort.

Laura: But in the movie they say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: I say that. I say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Andrew: Do they? The real, according to the…

Laura: Yeah, they say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio, I think it’s [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio though.

Andrew: Yeah, it is.

Ben: I heard Jeff Guillaume from HPANA called it [pronounced ‘ach-e-oh’] Accio.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I don’t think that’s right.

Andrew: I think that’s a little off.

Ben: Well, how did you say it, Andrew? How did you used to say it?

Andrew: [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Ben: [laughs] No, no.

Andrew: No, I probably used to say [pronounced ‘ak-e-oh’] Accio.

Ben: I say [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Andrew: [pronounced ‘ah-see-oh’] Accio.

Jamie: You can’t trust the Scholastic pronunciation guide, because that woman is so softly spoken. Isn’t she, Ben? It’s ridiculous.

Andrew: [laughs] I know.

Jamie: She can’t get more softly spoken.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus.

Jamie: Yeah, no.

Ben: [pronounced ‘ru-bay-us’] Rubeus. [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And she says [pronounces it ‘kah-noots’] knuts as well, so anything she says is automatically wrong.

[Andrew, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Geez!

Micah: I think you should do it from now on, Jamie.

Jamie: No way.

Micah: Apply for the job!


Micah’s Halloween Prediction


Andrew: Now, Micah…

Ben: Mic-er!

Andrew: …Halloween is coming up, and you did make a little promise a few weeks ago. And now today is Halloween, and we’re recording – so everyone knows – on Sunday. So, even if it’s true, we didn’t know, so don’t be like – if Micah was right, don’t be like, “Well, you didn’t release the show on the day it was announced, sp.” No, this is being recorded on Sunday. So…

Ben: This has been projected for weeks.

Andrew: Micah, you still – yeah. Are you still sticking with your prediction?

Micah: Yeah! I’m sticking with the prediction that on Tuesday, she will reveal the title of Book Seven.

Laura: And what if you’re wrong?

Andrew: Yeah. We need to make a little bet here.

Micah: We can make a bet. You guys…

Andrew: What do you think, Ben?

Micah: …have to come up with the alternative.

Andrew: What do you think, Ben?

Ben: Her bet? For his bet, I mean?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: I think he should have to do the news like a chipmunk.

Andrew: Ooo! I like that!

Jamie: Yeah, that’s it, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: All right!

Andrew: That’s what we’ll do.

Jamie: [singing in a chipmunk voice] Watch out, cause here we come!

Andrew: Are you going to do it, Micah?

Micah: The full news or part of the news?

Andrew: The full news.

Jamie: [still singing] It’s been awhile, so we’re back in style. So, get set to have some fun!

Micah: Yeah! That’s fine.

Andrew: All right!

Micah: I’ll accept that.

Ben: Are you that confident it’s going to happen?

Jamie: Whoa.

Micah: Yeah! Yeah.

Jamie: Awesome.


Laura Mallory Update


Andrew: And now, we have – we have a Laura Mallory update for everyone, because you might remember that we tried calling her twice two weeks ago and the show before that. And a guy named Peter wrote in to us. He said he too tried to call her, and he had better results than we did. [laughs] And he writes:

“I decided to call up Laura Mallory, and she picked up. She said that the press has distorted a lot of her story and that she has read most of the books. I said stuff like Harry Potter shows good over evil, but she said you have to fight evil with evil.”

Jamie: Good argument, good argument.

Andrew: “She says heard…”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “She says she has heard of MuggleCast, but she doesn’t listen to it.”

Well, no kidding.

“She said she doesn’t have time to talk to you MuggleCasters, though.”

Ben: All right, let’s call her up.

Andrew: I’m sure she’s very busy doing a whole lot of banning right now.

Ben: Complaining.

Jamie: Complaining. Complaining and hating, yeah.

Andrew: Watching Desperate Housewives right now.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That is – yeah.

Andrew: “She said she doesn’t answer her phone much either. Also…”

Jamie: Her phone is clearly an indication of evil as well. Aw, it’s terrible, you know? Satan lives in her phone.

Andrew: Also, she…”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I understand.

Andrew: “Also, she talked about kids doing witchcraft and how it’s real and stuff.”

Jamie: Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat.

Andrew: “We talked for a little while and she talked about things she said – things she said on the show. I then said if she had time to talk at all these meetings, how come she doesn’t have time to talk to you guys? She then said that she had to go.”

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: “She was just avoiding my questions, though. She said it was a blessing that I was talking to her and maybe we will wake up to see the truth about witchcraft and Harry Potter.”

Oh snap.

“I was just going to say that she could not let her kids read it and not stop the whole state, but she had already hung up. Maybe you guys should try calling again and see what happens.”

And then he gave us the number that he used, and we did use that number.


Pickles on Gilmore Girls


Andrew: Moving on – who caught the latest episode of Gilmore Girls?

Jamie: Not me.

Andrew: No one?

Laura: Mmm.

Andrew: I’m the only one who watches?

Ben: Mmm?

Andrew: Oh, okay. Well…

Laura: You watch Gilmore Girls? [laughs]

Andrew: Yes, of course, Laura! No, I wasn’t really watching them. We got a lot of emails, though, today, because the latest episode of Gilmore Girls – which I’m sorry, is the stupidest show I’ve ever seen. I had to download it to get the sound clip.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: On the latest episode, they had a huge pickle reference, because they kept referring to some sort of illegal substance as crack or…

[Andrew, Micah, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: …as pickles. So, they do a code name. So and they…

Ben: They borrowed it from us.

Andrew: It went something like this:

[Plays audio clip]

Lorelai: Hey, Rory.

Rory: Hey, what’s going on?

Lorelai: Ah, well, Star’s Hollow smells like pickles.

Rory: Pickles?

Lorelai: Pickles?

Rory: Pickles, pickles?

Lorelai: Pickles.

Rory: Why?

Lorelai: Because the pickle train crashed?

Rory: Is this a joke? Is this a long, boring joke that I’m not going to get?

Lorelai: No, it’s no joke. The town smells like pickles because the pickle train was derailed.

Rory: A train full of pickles? Who knew there was such a thing?

Lorelai: Well, pickle train conductors, for one. It sounds so fun. I would have been the greatest pickle train conductor! Can you see me? “All aboard, you pickles!”

Rory: Mmm. Clearly you missed your calling.

Lorelai: Well, luckily there’s you. You’re young, you’re clever, you’re our great pickle-train conductor.

Rory: I can’t believe I’m missing this.

Lorelai: Well, you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. Now what’s going on with you?

[Audio clip ends]

Andrew: So there you go. You know, I hear that the producer of Gilmore Girls actually listens to MuggleCast, and that’s how…

Ben: Probably.

Jamie: I heard that, too.

Andrew: …they had the idea. Because – how many listeners are we up to now?

Jamie: Four million?

Andrew: 25 million?

Jamie: No, it’s a bit less. It’s twenty or something, but…

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but…

Jamie: Sweden dropped out. They banned it, so we went down five million.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]


British Jokes of the Day


Andrew: Yeah. And to wrap things up today, we have a British joke of the day.

Jamie: I have a couple of Halloween ones and then a normal one today.

Ben: Hold on, is this a British joke or just an English joke?

Jamie: Oh yeah, it could just be an English…

Andrew: I guess we should say it’s an English joke.

Jamie: No, no, no! Because I…

Andrew: Just joking.

Jamie: I think I’m talking for Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland as well, so I think it’s a British joke.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Jamie: Okay. First one: which building in New York does Dracula visit? The Vampire State Building.

[Ben, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Ooo. Figured it had something to do with Empire.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay.

[Andrew imitates Jamie’s laugh]

Jamie: Okay. Okay, one sec. Okay. Who was the most famous French skeleton?

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: Napoleon Bone-aparte.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, this is good. This is good. What happens when the popular goats – sorry, ghost – gets lost in the fog? He is mist.

Andrew: What?

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Oh.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: This is brilliant.

Andrew: Way to laugh, everyone. Way to add to it.

Jamie: Yeah, excellent.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: You were a ghost.

Jamie: How did the ghost go on holiday? This is terrible, I must admit. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know.

Jamie: By scare-plane.

Andrew: That’s just dumb!

Jamie: It is atrocious. Okay. Why don’t skeletons go to parties? Because they have no body to go with.

Andrew: Oh, ho, ho, ho.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, now away from the Halloween theme, this is a joke I made up. Okay?

Ben: No, you didn’t.

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: I did! I swear I did! I swear I did.

Andrew: Ben stinks.

Jamie: Two kettles are arguing, okay?

Andrew: [laughs] What are you…

Jamie: [laughs] Okay?

Andrew: How did he come up with this?

Jamie: Two kettles are arguing. They keep swearing at each other and shouting. One of them – somebody says, “Why are we arguing?” The other one says, “Oh, we’re just letting off some steam.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, that wasn’t bad, actually! Those were pun-believable.

Jamie: Okay, so there we go.


Halloween Delinquency


Ben: So has your house ever been toilet papered or egged, Jamie? Is that why you’re so…

Jamie: No, but I’ve only lived here, in this house in Durham, for about four weeks.

Ben: No, but what about at home, though? Has your house…

Jamie: No, it hasn’t, actually. No, no, it hasn’t. Oh! We once got a plant pot thrown at the front door.

[Andrew, Laura, and Micah laugh]

Andrew: On Halloween, or just some random…

Jamie: No, it’s just normally, I think. Actually don’t think it had anything to do with Halloween.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: Oh geez.

Micah: Oh, so you’re saying there’s delinquent activities on days other than Halloween.

Jamie: Exactly. But Halloween encourages it, which is terrible, Micah!

Ben: Once…

Andrew: We’ll have to listen…

Ben: Once someone took a baseball bat to my mailbox.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Like they completely…

Andrew: Really?

Ben: They seriously just completely knocked it off, right off the post.

Jamie: That’s not very nice.

[Laura laughs]


MuggleCast Mix-up


Andrew: We want to remind everyone that the MuggleCast Mix #1 was actually released on the feed earlier this week, and for that reason, we got a third of the regular downloads that we do on Episode 60, [laughs] because nobody got their latest show. So if you think – if anyone’s confused and didn’t get Episode 60, it is there. You just have to check your feed for older episodes other than the most recent one.


Show Close


Andrew: So, to contact us the P. O. Box, Ben, is located at?

Ben:

PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas, 67107.

Jamie: But don’t send anything valuable in case his mailbox gets a baseball batted [laughs] in it again.

Ben: Yeah. Again.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: We are going to get back to voicemails probably next week, if you have a voicemail question that you want to – that you want us to answer on the show. Remember to keep it under thirty seconds and try to eliminate as much background noise as possible, then call, in the United States, 1-218-20-MAGIC. If you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677. If you’re in Australia you can call 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username MuggleCast. And you can also email us using mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com or just use the handy feedback form right there at mugglecast dot com. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We’ll see you next week for Episode 62 of MuggleCast. Oh, and email us and let us know what you thought of the opening of the show. Let us know if you liked it, or not. And peace, out.

Jamie: And be cool on Halloween.

Andrew: And remember be safe.

Jamie: Don’t go Trick-or-Treating.

Andrew: Check your candy, kids.

Ben: Don’t be – don’t be morally vapid.


Bloopers


Jamie: I just don’t think about it.

Laura: No, if the story development is good…

Jamie: What, you mean like…

Laura: Then the movie is probably going to be good.

Jamie: Laura, do you mean like if say movie one, Harry’s 10 and if in movie three he’s 85, the character development wouldn’t be…

Laura: No, no, no,

Jamie: Wouldn’t be true to life.

Laura: I’m saying, for instance…

Jamie: He’s got a beard.

[Andrew laughs]

[Laura sighs]

Jamie: I’d love to have a beard, I would. No actually I wouldn’t.

Laura: Well then, grow one.

Andrew: He can’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Laura, are you joking?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I could not shave for a year-and-a-half and look like a baby.

[Laura and Andrew laughing]

Jamie: Actually, that is untrue. That is untrue.

Ben: Well not really.

Jamie: I’m just starting to get stubble on my neck now, that is a serious step.

Andrew: Oh my god.

Jamie: It’s like, it’s like…

Andrew: [laughing] You’re 19 and you’re just starting to get that.

Laura: That’s pretty normal.

Jamie: It’s like-

Andrew: No, it’s not.

Laura: Yeah, it is.

Jamie: Yes, it is.

Andrew: How would you know, Laura?

[Micah laughs]

Laura: Because it’s…

Jamie: Laura, Laura, Laura…

Andrew: Do you have stubble on your neck yet?

Jamie: Laura, when did you first start shaving?

Laura: Okay…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: No, most… Okay, most guys…

Jamie: Can you wax your face, Laura? Instead of shaving?

Laura: I don’t need to wax my face.

Jamie: I don’t mean you. I don’t mean you, I mean men. Instead of shaving can you wax your face or not?

Laura: Yeah, you can get your face waxed.

Andrew: Ryan Seacrest does.

Jamie: No, I mean can you buy like strips…

Ben: No, it’s not, Laura

Jamie: …and then just put them on your face and rip them off? Can you do that?

Laura: Yeah, yeah you can.

Jamie: Really?

Laura: Yes [laughing].

Jamie: Well there you go it’s sorted then…


Andrew: [sings] You think you’ve got the stuff, telling me and anyone, it’s hard enough…”

Laura: [laughs] Andrew?

Andrew: [sings] “You don’t have to put up a fight.” [speaks] What?

Laura: Guess how many times I’ve listened to the “Saints Are Coming” on my iTunes?

Andrew: [sings] “Don’t have to always be right.” [speaks] Let me look at mine first.

Laura: [laughs] okay.

Andrew: [sings] “Take some of the punches for you tonight. Listen to me now.” [speaks] Hold on. [resumes signing] “Needed to let you know…”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: 69 [laughs] for me. How many times for you?

Laura: 97.

Andrew: Oh my god! [sings] “And it’s still…”

[U2 plays in the background]

Laura: We should sing that song on here.

Andrew: And it’s you that ought to pick up the phone. Sometimes you can’t make it on your own.

Laura: I love the variation in your voice. How you go from like really bad opera singer to somewhat…

Andrew: Beautiful?

[Micah laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Yeah. Beautiful.

Andrew: [sings]
“All the time…”


[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Can we…

Jamie: I’m going to send children away empty handed.

Andrew: Can we make like a contest?

Laura: To see…

Jamie: What, who can be meanest?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No, no, no. I think it would be funny if you took a video of yourself drop-kicking a pumpkin and watching it explode.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Would you also…

Andrew: It could be like a contest prize or something, [laughs] You get to see it or something.

Jamie: Would you…

Micah: But, would it be…

Andrew: So we film it so you can watch it and put it on YouTube.

Jamie: Would you also like a video of my being…

Ben: In a way…

Jamie: …carted of to the police station as well? Well Andrew for-

Andrew: Why because you broke your foot from drop-kicking a pumpkin?

Jamie: Yes, because when…

Laura: You get arrested in Britain…

Jamie: Because, because…

Laura: For breaking pumpkins?

Jamie: Because when… Yes, Andrew, because when you break your foot you get taken to the police station not the hospital.

Ben: Yeah [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I was going to say that.

Andrew: I meant hospital. No, seriously why would you get in trouble for drop-kicking a pumpkin?

Jamie: Because, it’s a breach of the peace. Okay, let me do a bit of history here okay?

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Let me do a bit of history okay?

Andrew: No, we don’t care for your British history.

Ben: No seriously, I want to hear this.

Andrew: It’s clearly flawed.

Jamie: It’s interesting – okay.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: There is – everything in England is to do with the Queen basically, okay. There is a thing called the Queen’s Peace, okay. The Queen’s Peace is being nice to everyone, there’s no war going on, there’s no trouble in the streets, okay. There is a crime – it isn’t actually on the record books as a crime, but it’s… There’s a thing called Breach of the Peace, which is a Breach of the Queen’s Peace. And you can be arrested for this thing, Breach of the Peace. So if you’re caught brawling in the streets, or if you’re caught throwing stuff or shouting at someone you’re in violation of a Breach of the Peace, so I can get arrested for that. Or, I can get arrested for harassment.

Andrew: Huh?

Jamie: All manner of things you can get arrested for.

Ben: For harassing a pumpkin?

Jamie: Yes, yes.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Harassment!

Jamie: They’re very, very sensitive pumpkins.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Micah: But…

Laura: Would you get arrested for belting out “Proud to be an American” in the streets?

Jamie: No, no, I wouldn’t, but that’s a good idea. I’ll try it if you don’t hear from me in a few weeks, I probably….

Ben: Jamie, Jamie. Someone emailed in saying that you don’t know your own Britishness because, like you said there’s no such thing as a British accent it’s an English accent and that you should have corrected us long ago for saying British accent.

Jamie: Yeah it’s true, it’s true. Of course.

Andrew: Oh yeah, I saw that. What are you doing to us?

Laura: What? How is there no such thing as a British accent? What?

Andrew: Because apparently it’s an English accent is what they call it.

Jamie: It’s like calling it an American accent.

Jamie: It’s all dialects, you know. It’s like…

Andrew: It’s like people say you have a Jersey accent.

Jamie: Yeah, no, it’s like a…

Andrew: And that’s not a real accent.

Jamie: I don’t have an accent.

Andrew: Yes, you do.

Jamie: If you came here – no, okay fine, but if you came here and said to somebody what type of accent do you have, they’d say I didn’t have one, I just have a normal English accent.

Ben: Because, that’s because they’ve got like Cockney.

Jamie: Very good Benjamin, there is Cockney. There’s Cockney, sort of Birmingham, Welsh accents, Scottish accents, Northern accents, Geordie accents, all types of accents. It’s just like America. Yeah.

Micah: But Jamie, I’m curious though, wouldn’t the Queen be proud of you for teaching these kids a life lesson by stealing their pumpkins.

Jamie: Yes, she would. And if she isn’t, I’ll go down to the palace and…

Laura: [laughs] And drop-kick the queen?

Jamie: And drop-kick her, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: She can land right in the river Thames and swim back and see how she likes it.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Not that I have been dropped in the river Thames.

Ben: You know, I thought it was the River Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’] River Thames.

Jamie: Everyone calls it the Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’], first of all.

Laura: You would.

Ben: [imitating Laura] You would.

Andrew: I wouldn’t.

Ben: Andrew would probably call it the Thames [pronounces it ‘Tha-mays’].

Andrew: No, Ben, I actually – I thought it was Thames [pronounces it ‘Thaymes’] too. Okay, all right. So, what else is there to talk about.

Jamie: But yeah. Micah the Queen would be in serious trouble if she didn’t approve. Actually, should I say that? Yeah, go on then, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You can put that in. Put it in.

Laura: Do you think the Queen listens?

Jamie: Oh, she does, she does.

Andrew: Am I the only one…

Jamie: The Royal Podcast.

Andrew: Am I the only one…

[Micah laughs]

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #60

MuggleCast 60 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because we all could use a little more love, this is MuggleCast Episode 60 for October 22nd, 2006.

See why GoDaddy.com is the number one domain registrar worldwide. Now with your domain registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter the code “Ron,” that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com.


Eric’s Crackpot Theory of the Week


Andrew: Eric Scull, your crackpot theory of the week is: Dumbledore was a hairless Demiguise.

Eric: Realistically, whose beard is that long? It’s got to be – it’s got to be fake. It’s got to be a wig or maybe magically enhanced or something, but nobody’s beard is that long. Really, what you don’t know about Albus Dumbledore is that he’s been bald since birth. It’s just a character trait.

Laura: You’re supposed to be proving it, Eric.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Did I ever prove them?

Laura: Yeah, you’re supposed to use, like, evidence to support the theory…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Oh!

Laura: …no matter how outrageous it is.

Eric: Right. Well, aren’t Demiguises the things that can go invisible?

Laura: Yeah…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Yes, well, easily without wearing an invisibility cloak. Even though they’re cut up…

Laura: Uh huh…

Eric: …and made into… They’re – they’re made into
invisibility cloaks. So I don’t know if that counts as not wearing one
if you’re wearing your own skin.

Andrew: So is that your answer? Is that the best you can do?

Eric: Well, I don’t know. What does…

Andrew: For the fans, for the listeners.

Eric: What does Chad, 15, from, you know, Arkansas think of that, who sent it in?

Andrew: It was actually Miranda, 17, of Idaho, and her points include:
Dumbledore can turn invisible without a cloak…

Eric: Yay! Hey!

Andrew: Another point; this would be a reason it’s weird that he had James’s cloak, even though he can turn invisible himself.

Eric: Ah, I didn’t think of that one.

Ben: Well, let’s get, let’s get her on the show. She can do…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: She can do…

Andrew: Forget Eric.

Ben: …Eric’s Crackpot Theory better than Eric can. [laughs]

Andrew: Eric’s fired. [laughs]

Eric: Uh.

Andrew: He seems to be able to see through the invisibility cloaks.

Eric: Andrew, why does that make him a hairless Demiguise?

Andrew: I don’t know. [laughs]

Eric: I…

Andrew: She said, “I know, crazy, I almost had myself convinced before I realized just what I was saying.”


Welcome Back


Andrew: Welcome to another week of some excellent MuggleCasting, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric and

Kevin: [simultaneously] I’m…

Kevin: Kevin Steck.

[Everyone speaks at the same time]

Eric: Oh, sorry.

Andrew: Whoa…

Eric: I forgot.

Ben: Whoa, Eric. Who do you think you are?

Eric: I forgot. I forgot my place there, just for a second.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’m very sorry. I’m going to go last, in honor of myself.

Ben: And Jamie.

Laura: Good job, Eric. I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: This would be the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, all this other nonsense.

Ben: This would be the show, or this is the show?

Andrew: I think this is the show.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: But it could be, and it will be.

Ben: I was going to say; maybe we’re doing something different this
week. Maybe we’re just going to BS the entire time.

Andrew: I don’t know. Maybe we’ll try that.

Kevin: [laughs] Oh, yeah. Something different.

Andrew: Before we do anything else, though…

Ben: Speaking of BS, let’s go to Micah Tannenbaum…

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Ben: …for the past week’s news.


News


Micah: It was reported after months of negotiations, JK Rowling had signed a letter of intent to the Walt Disney Company allowing them to carry out preliminary construction on a theme park with Harry Potter characters. Tuesday, a representative for Jo informed us that there is no truth to this. There goes my shot at riding Dementors of the Caribbean. That was a terrible joke.

Terry Gilliam, the acclaimed director Warner Bros. turned down for Sorcerer’s Stone, said in a new interview that he has no intention to direct either Movie 6 or 7, debunking previous rumors that he would. He was quoted as saying, “Warner Bros. had their chance the first time around, and they blew it. It’s a factory job, that’s what it is, and I know the way it’s done. I’ve had too many friends work on those movies. I know the way it works, and that’s not the way I work.”

Many Terry, retract those claws, would ya?

Gilliam went on to discuss what his Potter movie would have been like:

He said: “Alfonso Cuaron’s [Prisoner of Azkaban] is really good, but the first two I thought were just bad. They missed the whole point of it; they missed the magic of it… Alfonso did something much closer to what I would’ve done.”

Awww, somebody’s jealous. That was just too easy.

In a new interview, actor Rupert Grint spoke a little about the fifth Harry Potter movie, saying they have about a month of filming remaining. He also mentioned a Christmas scene with the Weasleys that he enjoyed, and touched on the topic of a director for Half-Blood Prince, noting rumors that Alfonso Cuaron or Chris Columbus may return for the film.

HP4U.co.uk has released a new report after visiting the Order of the Phoenix set recently. The crew was in the process of shooting scenes involving Thestrals, Hogsmeade Station, and the Hogwarts Express. Filming was located at Black Park in Buckinghamshire, England.

Finally, the American Library Association is asking teens to vote this week – why just teens? Everybody vote this week for their three favorite books with the association subsequently posting the top 10. Half-Blood Prince is among those nominated. Be sure to vote and make Laura Mallory cringe.

That’s all the news for this October 22nd, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Announcements


Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah. Let’s take care of a few announcements.
Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirts because they help
support the show, and they’re very nice to wear. We have some new designs out – actually we have one new design. We have the Lumos shirts that are available. They’re pretty cool looking, so even if you didn’t go to Lumos, even if you don’t know what Lumos is, buy them because they’re cool-looking. And…

Ben: Lumos 2006. They’re very nice t-shirts.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: All the cool kids are doing it.

Andrew: Don’t forget to place your vote at Podcast Alley. We’re actually falling behind this month. We’re like, number five.

Eric: For shame.

Andrew: Yeah, there’s other podcasts beating us and it’s kind of sad,
[starts speaking quietly] so maybe if everyone could just place
their votes once a month, we could get a little higher up there. So…

Ben: Please, just once a month.

Eric: Self-conscience.

Andrew: Just once a month.

Laura: Wow.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: Love how sad we sound.

Andrew: Bad news out of Australia. Bad news out of Australia.

Ben: We lost. Oh, my gosh.

Kevin: Awww, geez.

Andrew: Lost the Nickelodeon Australian Kids’ Choice Awards to a podcast called Camp Orange Maudecast.

Laura: What is that?

Andrew: “Which makes sense, considering it is a Nick show,” writes Megan, 18, of Australia. The Kids’ Choice Awards got some criticism in the past, I was reading on Wikipedia…

Eric: Yeah, it’s not worth it.

Andrew: …because they sort of – the winners always seem to be Nick –
Nickelodeon-related television shows.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, it doesn’t surprise me that we didn’t win. Even if – maybe, you know, granted, maybe we didn’t get the most votes.

Ben: We all know it’s a load of phooey, because who listens to the Camp Orange Maudecast?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Seriously.

Andrew: It’s not even on iTunes. I tried to look it up on iTunes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It wasn’t there.

Eric: They have their own…

Andrew: But, thanks to everyone who did place a vote for us, we appreciate it.

Ben: So, so do us a favor. E-mail Nickelodeon, send them your complaints. [laughs]

Andrew: Let them know how you feel about this win.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, let them know how you feel about MuggleCast getting shot down.

Andrew: Also, you might be wondering where Jamie is this week.

Eric: No.

Andrew: MuggleCast has personally paid for him to get lessons in French because he butchered the RSVP pronunciation. He thought it was “repondez s’il vous plait,” then someone e-mailed and said, “No, it’s respondez s’il vous plait,” without checking it. [laughs] So, he just said – he just trusted that one person. It actually is “repondez s’il vous plait.” Thanks to Holly, 17, of Canada.

Ben: Come on, Jamie.

Andrew: We’ll never bring it up again. Yeah, we will never bring it up again. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.


MuggleCast at Prophecy 2007


Andrew: Also, little announcement. It’s so far – it’s so far back in the planning stages. [clears throat] It’s – we really have nothing to say, other than that – well, here, let me ask you guys something. What is the number one request that we get right now?

Ben: More Ben Schoen, I think.

Laura: [laughs] No.

Andrew: That’s number two. What’s number one?

Ben: Oh. Less Eric Scull?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: That’s number three.

Ben: Awww, I’m …I can’t…

Eric: [laughs] That’s…

Andrew: The number one thing people are asking us right now is, “Will you guys be at Prophecy 2007…”

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: “…in Canada?”

Kevin: Oh.

Laura: Geez. [laughs]

Andrew: Which is August 2nd to the 5th, 2007.

Ben: Nothing good ever came out of Canada.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding, Canadian visitors.

Eric: Well, it didn’t come from Canada, HPF is based in America.

Ben: I know, I’m just kidding.

Eric: I’m registered.

Ben: Are you really?

Andrew: The answer is – you – you signed up for Prophecy?

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Save Gas Money. [laughs] Part two, with Eric Scull.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: [still laughing] Two.

Eric: Part two. I rearranged the acronym. We’re going to read Book Three from Chapter Four, “The Dementor,” on…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: We’re just going to read all night long.

Ben: We’re going to popcorn read?

Andrew: Oh, yeah, are we?

Eric: And John Noe’s going to be there. He’s going to show up and hand
out Leaky stickers and leave.

Ben: What site?

Andrew: So if you haven’t figured it out, yes, we are planning on going to Prophecy.

Ben: Did you actually, did you actually…

Andrew: There’s no…

Ben: …talk to Melissa about this?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No. We haven’t talked; we haven’t talked to the Prophecy people about doing a live podcast yet, or anything. So…

Ben: But we will be there. Tentatively. Tentatively.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Yes.

Ben: Tentatively.

Andrew: If you want to help us out, if you want to help us out, send a little e-mail to the Prophecy
people. Say, “Hey, at Lumos, the Leaky Mug did a podcast. They going to be doing one again?” You know, just drop a hint, you know? And then we’ll get in contact with them soon. So…

Ben: Yeah, so as of right now we’ll know for sure in like, probably
within the next, you know, it has to be the next month or two, we’ll
know for sure if we’re doing a podcast or not.

Andrew: I guess.

Ben: Well, you know, last time…

Laura: Maybe. [laughs]

Ben: …we knew November, and the convention was in…

Andrew: Was it November?

Laura: Yeah, it was November.

Ben: Yeah, we asked in November, and the convention was clear in…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: It was in July.

Andrew: July.

Ben: So… And this time, it’s in early August. So, yeah, Prophecy.org , I believe is the website. So…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Go check it out. Get registered.

Andrew: Send them an e-mail.

Ben: Tell them MuggleCast sent you.

Andrew: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal: Time


Andrew: Okay, well last week, everyone might remember that we had a great – it was a pretty good discussion on time.

Kevin: It was pretty good. I think we hurt people’s heads.

Andrew: We did. We got a lot of feedback.

Ben: I was gone. How many times did Andrew sing, [sings]
“Tiiiiiiiime”?

Andrew: Just once.

Kevin: Just once, yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] I did it for you, and then I had a little moment because you weren’t there to sing it with me.

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: It’s really touching. [laughs]

Laura: How sad.

Andrew: Anyway, we got some lengthy rebuttals. We’re going to read two of them now. One from BD, of Alabama, age is 27.

“On the subject of time – [imitates Kevin] Kevin is right. In linear time…”

Ben: About time.

Andrew: [laughs] …if someone goes back in time to change an event, then it creates a paradox. If someone wants to change an event by going back in time, and they have time travel at their disposal, they would go back in time and change the event. Now here comes the paradox; if the event has changed and all the following events were changed, why would the time traveler want to go back and change an event in the first place after the event was changed?” [laughs].

Kevin: It’s true.

Andrew: [continues reading] “In other words, the time traveler would not have any reason to go back in time to change the event, so how did it get changed? Now, if you’re still reading this, I would like to point out that this is one of JK Rowling’s more brilliant ideas in the Prisoner of Azkaban. The events that were changed by Harry and Hermione had already happened in their timeline. Buckbeak and Sirius escaped before Harry and Hermione went back in time, and they had already helped them to do it. We never saw Buckbeak executed in the book. Harry, Ron, and Hermione assumed that McNair cut off his head, but we actually saw him cut into a pumpkin. Harry and Hermione did not change anything, they did what was done. They just did not know we actually saw him cut…” [stumbles]

No…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “They just did not know what was done which gave them a reason to go back in time and change it. Also it would be just like Dumbledore to know exactly how Buckbeak escaped when he suggested to Hermione that they could save two lives. Keep up the good work, love the show.”

That was long.

Eric: Yes, but there’s a flaw in that, which is the Harry seeing Harry across the lake and thinking it was his father because initially there would’ve had to be someone to start off that chain reaction. Like the first time Harry went back to make him see somebody across the lake and then do something.

Kevin: Yeah, but that goes into the paradox.

Laura: Yeah, but…

Kevin: It falls into a loop.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, but

Ben: An infinite loop, right Kevin?

Kevin: Right.

Eric: I’m of the… I’m of the liking that when you go back in time it strays. Stray paradoxes, such as Back to the Future. How timelines change based on different events, if you alter…

Kevin: Yeah, like… Yes.

Eric: I don’t think it’s just one. I think time itself is comprised of a bazillion different dimensions and every little choice, every little difference that we can make in the world, creates an alternate, separate but different…

Kevin: Scenario.

Eric: …universe. And then that’s just like we’re traveling through time by going through all these things. It’s really cool. Watch Sliders, by the way, it’s this old show on Fox.


Listener Rebuttal: Time, Part Two


Ben: Let’s go to James. Let’s go to James. Let’s see what James, 105, of Baton Rouge has to say.

Andrew: That’s pretty old. Are you going to read it?

Ben: I’ll read it.

The whole time discussion was a bit convoluted. I think you should imagine time from each individual as a string. For the trio, set each string on a very long table and have an inch equal an hour. I know they’d be very long strings, but we’ll focus on the end of Year Three. Since Ron has never traveled back through time, his string would be perfectly straight. Since Harry has ever only ever gone back two hours, his would be interrupted and folded back so that there would be two inches overlapped. That is to say there would be two inches where the string was doubled. So yes, Harry would be in two places during two hours. Hermione would have that effect multiple times during the school year, since the whole idea of a Time-Turner was so she could take classes that occurred at the same time. She would have to be in two places at the same time, several times per week. So her string would be folded over in several places. As a matter of fact, if she used the Time-Turner to go back two hours each school day, that would be ten hours a week, and assuming a 44 week school year, four weeks for each summer and Christmas, she…”

Sorry I’m burping here.

“…would have aged an extra 440 hours. So, at the end of the school year she would be older by about two and a half weeks compared to if she had never touched a Time-Turner.”

Eric: So basically, it’s not even worth celebrating Hermione Granger’s birthday anymore. Because she was hitting that Time-Turner, or if you do celebrate it’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but it doesn’t – it doesn’t change the fact that it is on that day.

Eric: Huh?

Kevin: Well, her birthday is on that day.

Eric: Well, that’s true, that’s true, the birthday…

Ben: I’m confused what they’re saying. How would it make her older?

Eric: That’s true, yeah. No.

Ben: Because she was alive twice during that time?

Eric: It means – yeah, it’s still her birthday. Birth day.

Kevin: The method that person’s using to, like, judge time is from like an external observer. Like someone observing someone externally. But because everyone’s within that environment it doesn’t bode well for if you’re trying to track time and you’re a participant within the world or within that area.

Eric: So what theory did they use? Which extrapolation method? If you…

Kevin: That, that – what they’re just saying is to count how old the person is.

Eric: Yeah.

Kevin: It’s not really based on what stream of time they’re in because we’re all within the same…

Eric: I know it. I just kind of got an idea of the Greek; the three ladies with the scissors. The – what were they? The seers or whoever.

Laura: The Fates?

Eric: Yeah, the Fates, of course, the Fates! Who cut your string and determine when you are going to die. And in Hercules they sing and they dance. And…

Kevin: Nice.

Eric: …that’s it.

Andrew: It was just an interesting way that James put it, I think, using the strings because it’s an easier way to demonstrate. Basically, Ben, you asked earlier, what are they saying by how she aged earlier. When she’s going back in time, she has to relive up to the point where she originally went back in time. So she’s still aging. Her aging does not stop. Follow?

Ben: Oh, I see what you are saying.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: I got you.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: We did mention a problem with this last show, where if you go
back in time too far you won’t have enough time to catch up before you die.

Eric: [laughs] Of old age?

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Of old age. So…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …You know, the repercussions of that.

Andrew: We’ll get to some more rebuttals later.

Ben: That’s weird. It’s all confusing.

Andrew: It is.

Ben: I’m going to time travel.

Kevin: I got so many emails about people saying we made their head hurt.

Eric: Yeah, and it was an episode without me.

Laura: There were actually people who didn’t like the show. There were
people who thought that we went in too many circles.

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Well, that’s time travel for you.

Eric: Time is circular.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: History repeats itself, get used to it.


Main Discussion: The Department of Mysteries


Andrew: Let’s get into our main discussion now. I think this might be the final part of our Department of Mysteries discussion.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s basically a wrap-up of everything else that we did not discuss already, between time and the Veil.

Laura: Well, we talked about, as Andrew said, the Veil and time which I think were the two biggest things that were focused on during the Department of Mysteries chapters. But there were a lot of other little things in there that I think a lot of people are wondering about.


Ministry Access Too Easy?


The first of which is why was it so easy for Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and the Death Eaters to get into the ministry that night. There was no security. Why was that? Harry even noted that he felt ominous that there was no security; he felt there should have been. Why was there no one in the Ministry that night?

Ben: So JK Rowling could write a story.

Andrew: Well what gets me…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Closed for writing session.

Laura: Okay…

Ben: No, no okay, if you were to as JK Rowling this question, and I was just being a wisenheimer [pauses], like usual.

Andrew: Oh, Ben, you are a wisenheimer.

Laura: Which you are so often.

Ben: I am such a wisenheimer.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: The reason there was no security; maybe they were distracted with something else. Hmmm.

Laura: Like what?

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Andrew: But the entire Ministry of Magic?

Ben: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: But it’s not the entire Ministry. It’s somewhat of a workplace. So, I mean go into any of your financial buildings at twelve midnight and you’re going to find maybe three or four people there. A security guard…

Andrew: The janitor.

Kevin: The janitors.

Ben: Right, right.

Kevin: Maybe the person staying late…

Ben: But this is different, though.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is the fabled Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is not the lobby at the Ministry of Magic. This is…

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing that got me. They were able to just go into the elevator and select Department of Mysteries.

Laura: And then just open the door and go in.

Andrew: And they go in.

Laura: Yeah, there was no one guarding it.

Andrew: It’s like even at hotels, exclusive rooms you need a key card to get in. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I was always under the impression there were preparations made by Death Eaters to arrange that.

Eric: Yeah, because they’re waiting for him.

Laura: Yeah but how’d they do that?

Eric: Well, they have contacts. Lucius Malfoy…

Kevin: Oh I’m sure.

Eric: It’s not like he would pay…

Kevin: Through curses. Yeah I mean…

Laura: What do you think that Malfoy paid off…

Eric: No it’s…

Laura: Whatever, that Eric guy to leave, the security guy.

Kevin: Or put him under a curse.

Andrew: Not paid off.

Eric: Or did something, I mean I’m not saying he paid off…

Ben: The Death Eaters arrived first, correct?

Laura: Yes.

Eric: Well, they were waiting for Harry.

Ben: Okay, well maybe it’s a case like we saw in Sorcerer’s
Stone
, where Quirrell pretty much cleared the pathway for Harry to get to the final area, maybe the Death Eaters had already taken care of the security measures, and made it – because, you know, their goal was to lure Harry into the Ministry of Magic, and if there’s extraneous or extra security, then it’s going to be more difficult for them to do it. So…

Laura: Yeah, but it’s still the Department of Mysteries. How were they able to just walk into it?

Eric: Also, remember they are Voldemort and they can’t let the Ministry see Voldemort, or whatever, so they have to protect themselves too. But, no, that’s not the example I want to use. Was it even midnight, guys? I was under the impression that everybody was just out at lunch, or…

Everyone: No!

Andrew: It wasn’t during the afternoon.

Laura: It was night time.

Eric: Because… Are you sure?

Kevin: Yeah, they were talking about…

Andrew: The sun was rising.

Laura: The sun was rising when Harry…

Andrew: When he got into…

Laura: …got back to Dumbledore’s office.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, it took place during the night.

Eric: Well, okay, but I was under the impression that everybody was wandering back into the lobby right after, you know, the whole fight occurred.

Laura: No, Harry heard people…

Eric: As if coming back from lunch.

Laura: Yeah, he said he heard people going to breakfast and he couldn’t believe that people were still enjoying a meal knowing what he’d just been through.

Andrew: Mhm. Yeah.

Eric: Well, that was the next day. I mean at – in the lobby, right after the fountain, you know, exploded, Fudge was like, “Oooh, look the fountain. Yes, I saw him too.” But then people were kind of wandering back in like, “What just happened here?” Like, “Where were they?”

Laura: Well, that was… [laughs] Well, that was because…

Eric: It’s not that…

Laura: …by the time, by the time…

Kevin: They had got alerted by that point.

Laura: Exactly! By the time all this was happening, the Aurors had already been alerted [laughs].

Kevin: They had been monitoring this place, figuring out the…

Ben: Don’t you think the Aurors would be, you know, guarding the Department of Mysteries? Especially…

Laura: Exactly. Why was no one there? And why were they able to just open a door and walk in?

Eric: Maybe all the…

Andrew: But then…

Eric: No. Wasn’t the Auror on guard in Voldemort’s circle or something?

Laura: Ummm…

Eric: One of them. He could’ve just stepped aside and let them in. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a big issue.

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: There was no one there, though.

Kevin: I was always under the impression that they had taken
preparations beforehand.

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: They had placed a couple people under a curse…

Andrew: Right. Right.

Kevin: …and made it so that come X hour, leave or get lost.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: And then they can just stroll in.

Eric: Laura, are you even…

Kevin: Those people who are guarding the place are also the same people
who…

Ben: That’s the only logical explanation.

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I suppose.

Ben: Voldemort may have… Of course Voldemort, you know… Voldemort has insiders
in the Ministry, so he may have – probably in the Department of
Mysteries too. So, he may have had someone come on either…

Kevin: Yeah. They’re resourceful people.

Ben: Well, yeah, they are.

Kevin: It’s not like they don’t know what they’re doing.
[laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know about the elevator, though. Because…

Laura: Yeah, and just the fact that they were able to walk into the
Ministry like there was no – it wasn’t locked, for instance. They walked
into the phone booth and they just said, “We’re here to save Sirius,”
and it prints them off these little badges that say Rescue Mission.

Andrew: Rescue Mission.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, one door was locked, [laughs] and that brings us to…

Laura: Well, actually…

Andrew: No. It just seemed like the only security was when they got
into the circular room…

Eric: Well, put it this way.

Andrew: …where the doors are staying.

Eric: There’s a 100,000 people, say, work at the Ministry or
whatever or however big it is – however they choose how big it is. They
all have to get through the lobby and get where they’re going. I
approve of the idea of like a club card for getting into the Department of
Mysteries, but remember it’s also on the same floor as Department of
Mysteries. There’s what, the old chambers for trial?

Laura: The courtrooms.

Eric: And isn’t there Arthur Weasley’s office?

Laura: But they aren’t used, really, anymore.

Eric: I don’t know.

Laura: No, and Arthur’s office is not there.

Eric: It’s not there? I…

Laura: No it is not.

Eric: I’m all aflutter.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But you’d think that – you think that even though you can still
get up there, that there’d be at least someone guarding the door.

Laura: [laughs] Exactly.

Eric: I don’t know.

Andrew: Well that’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s…

Andrew: The Death Eaters would take that guy out.

Kevin: Exactly.


Why No Order Presence?


Laura: But what’s interesting to me is why didn’t the Order have anyone
there? Because we know that Arthur had been guarding that place, so
clearly they’d been taking precautions to guard the Department of
Mysteries.

Kevin: Yeah, but I mean count how many Death Eaters were there.

Laura: Sure.

Kevin: Do you think one person would stand a chance against all those
Death Eaters?

Laura: Well, no. But still why wasn’t…

Kevin: They may have not been mentioned…

Eric: Dumbledore would.

Laura: anyone there?

Kevin: …but I’m fairly sure that there was some protection, and they
just bypassed it through either cursing the person, or…

Ben: Right. But with a place this important – it’s like when a robber
goes and sticks up a convenience store or a bank. There’s always the
button that alerts the police under the table. You know? You think…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s what I’m saying. For…

Ben: …if someone’s getting taken out, wouldn’t they have a way to alert
other people?

Eric: Voldemort and Harry Potter both needed to get into the Department
of Mysteries. They’re the two strongest forces throughout this entire
book series. Did they really need to try?

Kevin: No, it’s not – it’s not that.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: It’s that the people who are guarding that type of place and who have access to that
place are going to be the people they’re going to curse and have remove – have to remove the security.

Eric: Voldemort’s been concentrating on this Department of Mysteries
for the entire year. The Order knows it.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Eric: The Order has been…

Kevin: He’s pretty resourceful.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: So why didn’t we hear about anyone in the Order being cursed
when they were trying to protect the Department of Mysteries? That’s what
I’m saying.

Eric: That other guy was.

Laura: If anyone – I know. But if anyone had been there that night,
then we would have heard about them being cursed as well, unless they flew
the coop when they realized what was going on.

Kevin: Well you know Mr. Weasley was guarding it, right?

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: Okay. Well, what if Mr. Weasley – they obviously found Mr. Weasley
there very injured. Now the Order – not the Order, but the Ministry, goes
“What were you doing there after hours? Why were you there?” Okay? So
now they have just blown their cover, making it impossible for them to
put another person there because it’s going to get highly suspicious…

Laura: But didn’t they…

Kevin: …to the Ministry.

Eric: Kind of like…

Laura: Didn’t they cover it up?

Andrew: Yeah, didn’t Dumbledore say… Didn’t Dumbledore say they made
up an excuse for it?

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: I’m pretty sure he did.

Laura: Because Sirius…

Kevin: Well, even then. I mean…

Eric: Even if they have an excuse, people are going to turn their eye.

Kevin: For all you know, Arthur was the only one who had the
possibility of having access to that area without suspicion.

Andrew: Right. If everyone else is sitting down there, it would look
suspicious.

Kevin: Exactly. So the Order probably – that was their last form of
defense, and it got blown by him getting injured.

Eric: Attacked by the snake, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Good job, Arthur.

Eric: And that’s why… No, that’s not Arthur’s fault. That was
Voldemort’s plan.

Andrew: And that technically did blow their cover because Arthur
couldn’t go there again and sit down there.

Eric: That’s right, because…

Laura: Well no, obviously not him.

Kevin: So right there you have your explanation for why…

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: …there wasn’t an Order member there.

Andrew: Good point, Kevin, good point!

Laura: It just seems odd to me, though, that there wouldn’t be some sort of
security on it anyway. Like even when our…

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: Even when Arthur was there, though. Why isn’t there some sort of
security on this place 24/7?

Eric: Well, another thing, Laura. Remember, everybody’s under the
impression that everything is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Voldemort’s
not back, what do we have to protect ourselves from?

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: Yep.

Eric: That’s a strong mindset of everybody. Strong mindset.


Brain Room


Laura: Well, the next thing that we should probably move on to is
whenever they enter the Department of Mysteries, the first thing they come
across is the brain room. And we saw that Ron got attacked by one of the
brains when he yelled “Accio Brain,” which I found kind of amusing.
[laughs] But Madam Pomfrey said that “thoughts can leave deeper
scarring than almost anything else.” Now are we talking physically, or does
he have some kind of mental scarring? Because it doesn’t seem to me
like Jo would kind of drop that little hint for no reason.

Ben: I think it has to be mental, because…

Kevin: Yeah. Definitely.

Eric: No, it’s very physical too.

Ben: How could a thought harm you physically?

Laura: Well, no, she’s talking about how he had scars on his arms from
where they had wrapped themselves around him.

Eric: When they had wrapped around. And, yeah. It’s not just emotional
scarring.

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: I think that’s very physical. Thoughts too.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re not just memories.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re thoughts trapped in the brains that had made them. It’s kind of like – if a person passes away, they have all these memories of, you know, everywhere they’ve been in their life, different life experiences.

Laura: Well, yeah. The mind’s very powerful.

Eric: But nobody can see them! How can you retrieve those thoughts?
They’re gone with that person, they’re exact things. But trapped in this brain
room, in these things, all these thoughts – maybe it’s all the hateful
thoughts that, you know? But all these thoughts are trapped in this juicy
brain that’s going to come out and lash at you, and I don’t know. She
said that it was thoughts that were attacking him, and I would think
that would have a strict physical impact too. Because have you ever had
thoughts come at you? [laughs] I mean, how would…

Laura: Well actually, a good example, a good example of it is, have
you ever heard of when people die, the…

Eric: Never heard of that.

Laura: …electricity that… [laughs] Eric!

Eric: Sorry, it was just a question.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: When people die, it has been accounted that the electricity
released from their brains has been powerful enough to stop clocks.

Eric: So when their…

Laura: So that it stops the clock at the exact time of their death. So I think it goes
to show that thoughts could be powerful enough to physically harm someone as well as mentally. My question is, does Ron posses those thoughts now? Does he have memories from the brain that attacked him that at one time belonged to someone else?

Kevin: I doubt it.

Eric: I doubt it.

Ben: But how do we know where those brains come from? I mean…

Laura: Well, yeah. Exactly.

Ben: It seems to me like each part of the Ministry has it’s own – each
part of the Department of Mysteries studies its own things. There’s the
death, love, all of that stuff. So, what do you think they’re studying?
What do you think they’re studying – are they studying thoughts, or what are
they…

Laura: They’re studying the mind, I believe.

Ben: Or memories, or what?

Laura: I mean, there’s a huge – the mind was a huge theme in Order
of the Phoenix
. I mean, just because of Harry’s Occlumency lessons.

Ben: And the mind is a mystery too. So…

Laura: Yeah, and Snape essentially told Harry that the mind is not…

Eric: An open book.

Laura: …a book to be opened and read at will. It’s got to be studied
very, very closely, I suppose. Differently. And I don’t know how
exactly they came across these brains, if they just yanked them out of dead
people’s heads or what.

Eric: Well, what did… [laughs] What did – crap, I forgot
my question.

Laura: What did they…

Eric: Wasn’t Ron already delusional? Wasn’t he already kind of messed up when
the brain started attacking him?

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, he’d been cursed by a Death Eater. And I thought that was
interesting because the reaction that he has is sort of similar to the
reaction Dumbledore has from drinking the green potion in Half-Blood
Prince
. They were both kind of delusional and out of it, and both
started saying, you know, “No, no, stop it, Harry,” and trying to get
Harry to help them, and Harry couldn’t in those scenarios.

Eric: Well, whereas nothing was attacking Dumbledore visibly, but a
brain, [laughs] a giant brain with thoughts was lashing at Ron.

Laura: It doesn’t matter, though!

Eric: It does!

Laura: It’s still facts, though.

Eric: True. It’s a brilliant parallel. I think it’s cool.

Laura: And this is why I’m kind of – I don’t know. I just kind of
wonder if Ron somehow has some sort of important memory that will play a
role in Book Seven? Something that Harry needs to know?

Eric: I don’t think that’s it at all.

Laura: Because…

Eric: You know…

Laura: Why not, though?

Eric: “Where’d you learn this, Ron?” “Oh, it was when that brain
attacked me. I learned all this stuff that I’ve just had…”

Laura: Well, no. [laughs]

Eric: “…sitting around in my head for two years.”

Kevin: Yeah. And didn’t mention it.

Eric: Yeah, I didn’t mention it.

Laura: It wouldn’t be like that. It would – but it almost seems like
there are a lot of things that happened at the end of Order of the
Phoenix
that we didn’t hear anything about in Half-Blood
Prince
.

Eric: It’s true. It’s true. But we did hear…

Ben: Like hat about the guy who turned into a baby? What kind of crap is
that? I still don’t get that.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: His head.

Andrew: The Death Eater? Yeah.

Eric: His head was de-aging, and then aging again. That was pretty
messed up.

Andrew: We talked about that last week.

Eric: “You can’t hurt a baby!” But no. The whole idea, and why I
brought that up is because I just think that when Ron was in the hospital
ward, he was clearly getting remedies for that curse, and I think it was
just all washed off. I think that the thoughts, all the trauma from the thoughts.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: I don’t think…

Kevin: I think there would be some residue.

Laura: There was going to be something left there.

Eric: But thoughts?

Kevin: There’s got be something in his head.

Eric: You’ve got to look at the way the brain was in contact with Ron. The thoughts were burning into his skin and stuff, and lashing at him, and grabbing him; but it didn’t really do any – we didn’t see it affect his mind. He was just really under that other curse and he was really scared.

Laura: Not that we know of. [laughs]

Kevin: We don’t know; that’s a point. We don’t know of anything happening to his mind, but they alluded to it.

Laura: We only see – yeah. We only see the world through Harry’s eyes, so we can’t sit here and say, “I know what’s going on in Ron’s mind,” because it’s not from his point of view.

Eric: That’s true. I don’t know that there is much of an argument that that thing really affected him, emotionally or for a long time.

Laura: I don’t know, I just think that the mind is an exceedingly powerful thing.

Eric: Oh, yes.

Laura: It really is.

Eric: Absolutely.

Laura: And I think it’s pretty shortsighted to think that that’s – that you could be attacked by a brain like that and not have any sort of repercussions, physical or mental.

Eric: Well, he had a lot of physical repercussions. He was torn up, it was pretty dirty, but…

Laura: But we didn’t hear that much about that. That’s the thing.

Eric: Which is true.

Laura: It seemed like Madam Pomfrey was going to lengths to cure the scarring as best she could, but she said…

Ben: Well, how do you think all this is going to come full-circle, is what I want to know. I mean, how is that going to play to the…

Eric: Ummm, Ben? I hate to let you down: We don’t know. [laughs]

Ben: I know, that’s why I said how do you “think,” okay? No reason to be a smart aleck.

Eric: I don’t mean to.

Ben: I’m the wisenheimer here, okay? I’m just kidding.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Ben: What I’m saying is, I don’t know how – think about all the stuff she has to incorporate. Something like that…

Laura: Yeah, there’s a lot.

Ben: …seems like it is going to go to the wayside just because she doesn’t have – I mean, unless it’s really pivotal. It’s interesting. What did he get from the Department of Mysteries? But the fact that it went ignored in Book Six and nothing really was carried through. You think if Ron had some thought that was essential that it would somehow get mentioned.

Andrew: Stood out?

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: It would’ve happened by now.

Laura: Well, I don’t know because if you think back on all the books, there have been tons of little things that no one thought anything of at the time. And then a couple of books later that thing becomes huge. There are probably hundreds of little clues in Half-Blood Prince that we all missed. Just little things. Little things that people have said, descriptions about the way someone looked or where someone went.

Eric: Yes, but when have we seen Ron distribute any kind of extra knowledge than he would have by being his slightly cynical self?

Laura: I don’t think – I don’t know. The thing is, I think if something like that were to happen she would try to draw attention away from it during the sixth book, because she drew attention away from the Department of Mysteries.

Eric: She drew attention away from everything.

Laura: Exactly, because there is clearly something kind of big going on. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] There’s no doubting it’s plausible that Ron has some thoughts from this thing, I just don’t think it’s likely.


Whose Brains Are In The Brain Room?


Andrew: And whose brains get into the Brain Room?

Laura: That’s what I was going to say. If he does have someone’s thoughts, are we going to find out whose brains these are?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Maybe they saved James’ and Lily’s brain and then…

Laura: Ewww.

Eric: …and then Ron can tell Harry where Godric’s Hollow is.

Ben: I almost think it’s like kind of the case where you have people who donate their bodies to science. Wouldn’t it be the same thing if you donate your brain?

Eric: To the Ministry of Magic? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] And then they donate their bodies to be thrown into the Veil to see what happens to them, Ben?

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: I’m going to wear my – I’m going to get a t-shirt.

Andrew: I would.

Ben: Well, how else would they do it? Would they just randomly choose people? Or…

Andrew: [laughs] Off the street.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] Do they just say, “Your brain is mine!” and you die? Or…

[Laura and Kevin laugh]

Ben: No, it isn’t like they can…

Laura: Well, what if they take unclean bodies or something like that?

Eric: John Does of the world.

Ben: Well, that’s really pleasant.

Eric: What if you went up to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Unclean bodies. [laughs]

Laura: Well, hey! They did that for that exhibit with all the dead bodies which I went and saw in Vegas. It was actually pretty cool.

Eric: Guys, what if you went up to anybody on the street and just said, “Accio Brain!” [laughs] What would happen?

Andrew: I don’t think their brain would…

Ben: Fly out of their head.

Kevin: Pop out of their head or their body.

Andrew: I don’t know, I don’t know.

Ben: I think they’d laugh at you.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Either way, one thing’s for certain…

Andrew: Like how people laughed at you when you walked through New York City in your cloak.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: They didn’t laugh. They were awed, and you guys were all jealous.

Laura: Oooh, burned.

Andrew: They were awed. Right.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Ben: They see there is so much diversity in New York City it’s normal for them.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: It’s a normal thing.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: That’s exciting, but I’m definitely going to get a t-shirt, since we’re talking about this, that says, “I donated my brain to the Ministry of Magic because they needed one.”

Laura: That’s…nice.

Ben: You have to have a brain to donate. So…

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Pickle of Shame. Oooh.

Kevin: Oooh.


What Makes Eric’s Brain Worthy?


Laura: Well, Eric, Eric, what would make your brain worthy? [laughs] I’m not trying to insult you.

Eric: Of the Ministry of Magic?

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Perhaps it won’t be, you’re incredibly correct, Laura.

Laura: No, no, no, I’m kind of…

Eric: Maybe they would refuse it. Maybe my dying wishes would be for the Ministry to have my brain, and they wouldn’t want it…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: …and they would just throw it away.

Laura: I’m kind of alluding to what would…

Eric: Specifications?

Laura: …be the requirements? Yeah! What would…

Eric: I would think it would be anybody they could get. I mean, learned professors, obviously, they would want, like Nicholas Flamel.

Kevin: Willing to, yeah.

Eric: Maybe Nicholas Flamel? Maybe they could have asked him to donate his mind to the think tank, which is the brain bath.

Ben: Think tank. [laughs] That’s literally what it is.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: The brain thing…tub…brains.

Ben: The brain tub.

Eric: They would want to get him if they were studying the mind, but I think they would also try and get lower of minds. Perhaps like mine, just to judge the diversity of minds.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Isn’t it true you need brains of all sizes, and all shapes, and all – to do a real study?

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Andrew: To do a real study of them?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: You need brains of all types of capacity.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Yes.

Laura: For intelligence.

Eric: That’s what I mean. But who knows? Maybe the Ministry wouldn’t want my brain.

Kevin: I would think it would be more of a…

Ben: I think that if you donated it…

Kevin: …donation kind of thing.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because it’s not like now.

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies…

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies you’re talking about…

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: …are homeless people they found dead in the alley, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Ben: The exhibit in Vegas.

Eric: Can you imagine the UPS guy? “I got a delivery of brains for C.O. Fudge.”

Laura: [laughs] Damon.

[Andrew fake laughs]

Eric: C.O. Fudge? Delivery of brains? “Just dump them in the think tank there.”

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Ben: [laughs] Quit calling it the think tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s a good name! Is that not a good name?

Ben: [laughs] That is a good name, but it sounded so goofy.


Back To The Scarring


Andrew: So, anyway, I don’t know. Back to Madam Pomfrey.

Laura: I think we’re…

Andrew: It just seemed, “Thoughts can leave deeper scarring than almost anything else.” Maybe she’s just saying in general.

Kevin: Yeah, but it’s…

Andrew: Your thoughts, your personal thoughts.

Kevin: It sort of alludes to her talking not only physical scarring.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Andrew: I just don’t see how they can transfer to your body because it’s a brain. It doesn’t really make sense.

Eric: Yeah, she didn’t really say…

Laura: It touched your body.

Andrew: So?

Laura: It’s magic, though.

Ben: Right, but see, there is something different, though – something different, though. Dumbledore stressed the importance of how death isn’t it. How if you look to the bad side, the evil side in Harry Potter, that’s what they’re concerned most about. The good side is always concerned about sacrifice, and what is the best thing that I can do to benefit humankind in general. As opposed to, I’m going to be selfish and worry about myself dying. So, it seems to me like the physical sense – it applies physically because he has the scars or whatever, but I think mentally it makes more sense because…

Kevin: It does, yeah.

Ben: …your thoughts. Look to Harry and Voldemort. Maybe she was saying something that meant a lot more than she knew, you? Because…

Laura: You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to…

Ben: …the thoughts have deeper scarring than anything else. Look at Voldemort sent those thoughts into Harry’s brain, and the next thing we know, Harry shows up at the Ministry of Magic, Sirius dies, Ron gets hurt. All these bad things happen.

Eric: Yeah. Exactly, exactly.

Ben: So, I think that is the deeper scarring happening.

Eric: When Dumbledore talks about how life – death is not the worst thing, he’s actually talking about the scarring of the soul that Voldemort’s gotten. There’s a lot of soul stuff. That’s all the references there with impartial souls.

Laura: Mhm. Well, what he’s basically saying is that Voldemort, the life that he has given himself now, is actually worse than what he’s fearing.

Eric: Oh yeah, absolutely. But the thought of thoughts is what Ben eventually said, which was, you know, my opinion, which is: The thoughts drive the mind. You said the mind was a great, big theme in Order of the Phoenix. Well, the mind controls the people and the people do the evil. The people do – they change history, and this is all about people. The mind is the most powerful thing because it drives you, and thoughts – and if you think that Mudbloods are worthless, it’s everything. It ties into literally everything. It’s untraceable where this is going.


Sidenote: Episode 60


Andrew: By the way, guys, I forgot to mention this at the beginning of the show. 60 episodes.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: Oh, yeah. Wow.

Andrew: 60 episodes.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: Good job, boys and girls.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: No, not at all. It’s an impressive number.

Laura: I think it’s time for us to start thinking about retirement.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: You have…

Andrew: Apply for Medicare in a few years.

Laura: Dentures.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Well, Social Security is almost gone – run out. So…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: And we dumped our own fund on Lumos.

Andrew: Yep.

Eric: All our retirement funds were spent on going to Los Angeles.

Andrew: On Lumos. Anyway, here’s to 60 more. It’s a big number, 60.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Well, it’s not as big as 61.

Andrew: What have we been talking about all this time?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: How did we come up with – You know that’s the number one thing I get asked by people who don’t listen to the show.

Ben: “What do you talk about?” Yeah, same here.

Andrew: “What do…” Exactly!

Kevin: “What do you keep talking about?” Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. We have had a discussion every week. Whether it was Chapter-by-Chapter, or Character Discussion, or something like this.


Chapter-By-Chapter Return?


Ben: I keep getting e-mails. “Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back? Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back?”

Eric: Yeah, guys. Should we lay that down?

Andrew: Should we settle this?

Ben: Yeah. I think Chapter-by-Chapter should come back eventually because we’re going to run out of things to talk about and in order to – what’s the word I’m looking for – preserve the longevity of MuggleCast, we’ll need something that is going to do that.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: I don’t know. I don’t want you guys to just strategically pull it out of your pocket when we’re short on episode stuff. We did talk – we did have a meeting about this.

Andrew: Well, that’s the plan, so…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: We have been getting a lot of e-mails about this, and we haven’t really brought it up because we didn’t want to upset anyone who is really missing it. [laughs] But we did talk about this. We had a lengthy discussion about this in L.A.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, I had a lengthy discussion.

Laura: It was very lengthy.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’re going to hold off on it for now. But it’ll come back. Just not right now.


Back to Discussion: The Love Room


Laura: The next room that they encountered was the Love Room, which was locked. They couldn’t get into it. How would a room contain the power of love?

Eric: [sings] It’s the power of love!

Andrew: The Black Eyed Peas song, “Where is the Love?” plays when you walk in.

Eric: [sings] Da-da-da.

Andrew: [sings] Where is the love…?

Ben: [laughs] And there’s a sign that points, “Over here.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Everyone continues laughing]

Laura: So, if they open the door, would there just be [laughs] this blinding light – power of love – that would spill out of the room?

Eric: Yes!

Laura: Or is it – okay, how do you contain something like love behind a door?

Eric: Okay, think of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Have you seen the movie? Have you all seen Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Of course.

Laura: Yes. [laughs]

Eric: At the end of the move, the Ark of the Covenant breaks open and the big white light comes out and everybody has to – well, Indie has to close his eyes because the thing is, the sight is too holy for anybody to see it without their faces getting ripped off.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Laura: So, you’re saying it’s so great, it’s so wonderful.

Eric: It’s – yeah. Dumbledore himself said…

Laura: [laughs] That it would rip Harry’s face off?

Eric: No, no, not Harry’s.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Eric: And that’s very important. But it is locked because, well, Dumbledore himself said it needs to be measured in certain quantities and it’s just of a really big magnitude or something. Dumbledore said something exactly like that about – maybe you need to see, maybe you need to wear a smoked glass mask like a welder’s mask to go into it. I mean, I don’t know, but I’m saying it’s locked because my guess…

Laura: Well, it melted Harry’s knife.

Eric: My guess is that the large majority of people would not be able to handle that room. No. As for containing the power of love in that room, I have no clue, but it is the Ministry of Magic and if a love – if a concentration of love would be somewhere intelligent for study, it should be there. I don’t know.


The Definition of Love


Laura: It just seems like how do you – people can’t even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it?

Ben: If you ask some high-schoolers it’s…

Eric: Well, no, I don’t think…

Ben: …you’ve been dating somebody for two days…

Laura: [sings] What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

Ben: And, “Oh my god, I’m so in love!”

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, exactly.

Ben: I think I love Subway more than most high-schoolers love their boyfriend or girlfriend.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, Laura. I think – no, you don’t need to understand what love is to contain it. That’s not…

Ben: That reminds me of a song.

Eric: That goes against science. You…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: [sings] “I want to know what love is…”

[Eric sings guitar riff]

Ben: [sings] “…I want you to show me.”

Laura: No, shut up.

Eric: No, seriously.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You contain things so that you can study them. You trap an insect – a lightning bug – to see what it does. It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. That’s true about everything.

Laura: Okay, Eric. How do you catch love?

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey.

Ben: It’s like a firefly.

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovely, lovey.

Andrew: Guys…

Laura: I’m sorry, but…

Ben: Love bug. Love bug.

Laura: …I just don’t see how it can all – like you can just open a door and there’s love in the air.

Eric: All I’m saying is you don’t…

Laura: [laughs] That’s kind of messed up.

Andrew: I think – you know, guys, hold on, hold on.

Eric: You don’t need to be the most educated person in the world and know all about the facets of love. You just need to know how to capture it. And a lot of people who want to capture things just need to know – learn how to catch it.

Ben: Love is… Love is… Okay, love is intangible. There is no such things as, like, “Oh look, watch guys, you caught the love bug!”

Laura: It doesn’t… This doesn’t have to relate to “love” because I know Ben was making fun of teenagers in love. But anytime in any of your lives that you have ever been attracted to somebody, did you just look at that person and say, “I think I want to be attracted to this person”? No, it just happens. It just happens out of the blue. You can’t control it. So how do you…

Ben: Well what kind of attraction are you talking? Physical or…

Laura: I’m just – I’m talking about just a general attraction, whether it be personality, appearance, whatever. You still have that kind of attraction and you can’t just capture that. You can’t just say, “I have this,” because you have no control over it. It’s the same way with love.

Ben: Like I was saying, love is intangible. It’s not like you can buy love.

Laura: [laughs] So…


Capturing Love


Eric: So, what are we talking about here?

Laura: So, what I’m saying is, Eric, you’re saying you have to know how to capture it…

Eric: No, I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Laura: …but you can’t.

Eric: I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Kevin: But what Laura’s saying is there’s nothing physical that you can actually capture…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …because no one knows what you’re capturing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s magic.

Kevin: You can’t capture something that you don’t know what it is, you know what I’m saying?

Eric: Oh yeah? Voldemort knew – made all his Horcruxes.

Kevin: It’s as though the firefly – in your firefly example it’s as though the firefly was just like pure light. You can’t capture it. Every time you try to grab it, your hand goes through it because you don’t know enough about it to actually create a physical boundary on it.

Eric: True, but Voldemort created seven Horcruxes. Assumably, nobody knew how to do that before him. Maybe he invented it.

Laura: Okay, but a Horcrux is a physical thing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s things along the magic world that very few people know about. It’s the extremes of what you can do to your mortal soul. Or immortal soul, as the case may be.

Laura: Okay, but love isn’t an object.

Eric: Love is everything. Maybe love is like The Force.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Kevin: Eric…

Laura: God… [laughs]

Andrew: Laura, how much.. Where does it… Do you have where they talk about the Love Room in here?

Laura: [laughs] The Love Room.

Eric: They don’t talk about the Love Room, it gets mentioned and then it’s like…

Andrew: Yeah. Where it’s mentioned.

Laura: No, basically, Dumbledore said that – he didn’t specifically call it the “Love Room.”

Eric: He says, “there is a room in the Department of Mysteries that contains a force…” something.

Laura: He said, “it contains the power that you have in such great quantities that Voldemort detests.”

Eric: Yeah. “Love?”

Andrew: Ooooh…

Eric: He’s like, “Yes, essentially it’s love.”


Why is the Love Room Locked?


Laura: Okay, but here’s my question: Why is the Love Room locked?

Eric: Because, I said, a lot of people can’t handle that much love.

Laura: Okay, this isn’t Raiders or whatever, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Kevin: Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Why is it not?

Laura: This is Harry Potter.

Eric: No, it’s the same concept.

Laura: Because!

Eric: It’s the same concept!

Laura: Okay, is Indiana Jones in these books? No.

Eric: If it’s a love…

Kevin: No, but, but, Eric…

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Your chain of thought is flawed in the fact that if you have a door, it is meant to be opened and, therefore, you can view it – view what’s inside the room.

Eric: If you have the right equipment on.

Kevin: If they could not see – if they could not open that door without being blown away then they would put it in a box that couldn’t be opened. Period.

Eric: Well, obviously, like Pandora’s Box, but anyway…

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, a Death Chamber was easily accessible, but a Love Room isn’t?

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: See, that’s…

Ben: But it’s like, you can’t really bottle hate.

Laura: [laughs] I feel so bad calling it the “Love Room.”

Andrew: Dumbeldore always emphasizes the power of Lily’s love for him.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: So, okay. So if love has a lot of power…

Eric: Certain people could open that door.

Andrew: …maybe it just shouldn’t be opened. Maybe there’s…

Eric: No, certain people could open that door. But, do you guys agree with me? If Voldemort opened the love door, would he not get blown away? Would he be able to walk into the Love Room?

Ben: I don’t think he could open the love door.

Eric: You don’t think anybody can? Why is it that people are studying it? Dumbledore said it was being studied.


The Effect of the Love Room


Laura: Something that I noticed was that no one else really seemed to be affected by the love door, but Ron was. It said that he was – let me look here.

Eric: Ron?

Laura: Yeah, Ron was. I put it in here somewhere, hang on. It says Ron “looked at it with a mixture of longing and apprehension which no one else seemed to feel.” So, why was it that Ron – he kept saying stuff like, “are you sure we shouldn’t look in there? Are you sure we shouldn’t try?” or whatever. And no one else really seemed to have – it didn’t have that effect on everyone. It was kind of…

Eric: Maybe it’s…

Laura: It was almost similar to the effect that the Veil had on Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Neville.

Eric: Maybe the Love Room is actually the room of brotherly love and nobody has as many brothers as Ron.

Andrew and Kevin: No. [both laugh]

Eric: Except Ginny.

Andrew: Bad.

Laura: Ummm…

Andrew: Bad.

Eric: Maybe he wants Percy back. Maybe Percy’s on the other side.

Laura: No, maybe Hermione was just right next to him in the room.

Eric: That’s where Percy is all of Book Six!

Andrew: This isn’t getting anywhere, so let’s move on.


Who Can Open The Door?


Laura: No, but what I was saying was, Eric mentioned maybe specific people being able to open the door.

Eric: I don’t mean specific people, necessarily, but, like, the trained Unspeakable…

Laura: But what if, for instance…

Eric: …who are in the Department of Mysteries, who are the aficionados for opening that kind of door, viewing that kind of thing, and studying it.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: Like, you need to have a safe environment for work.

Laura: Well, I’m sure, but for instance, it just strikes me as kind of funny that Harry couldn’t open this door that possesses the same kind of power as he does. Now, you brought up certain people being able to open it and Ron didn’t actually try, so what if he could? What if that was, like, explains the attraction that he felt towards it because he would somehow be able to open it.

Ben: [sings] “Close the door…”

Eric: Even if he would be able to open it, I’m pretty sure it would have burned off the faces of everybody else who wasn’t qualified to open it.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: I’m dead serious.

Laura: Okay, I’m pretty sure this isn’t Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Okay, but…

Kevin: I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.

Eric: But Harry put his…what…Sirius’ key thing…key changer…lock changer…knife…

Andrew: Knife.

Laura: The knife.

Eric: …into the door and it melted. So there’s only one key for that. I think it’s not necessarily even who can open the door.

Laura: Okay…

Andrew: Maybe someone was… [laughs] Hey, guys, maybe someone was cooking something up in there, if you know what I’m saying?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Because it melted. It’s pretty hot.

Eric: Cooking up some love.

Laura: [laughs] That was kind of creepy.

Andrew: Cooking up some love, yeah?

Eric: The ‘shippers. Hey, I wonder how many fanfics have taken place in the Love Room.

Laura: How many what?

Eric: No, they originate in the Lust Room, never mind. Fanfiction.

Ben: [laughs] The Lust Room.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh god.

Laura: Oh my god…

Ben: But at the same time it’s like death. There’s a Death Room. When you open it up, you’re not going to – or if there’s a Hate Room.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: There’s a room devoted to death, where you go after…

Ben: It isn’t like you can bottle hate, I mean.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: You can bottle potions.

Eric: You can bottle fame, brew glory…


Prophecies


Andrew: [laughs] So, about those prophecies.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: 2007.

Andrew: …dot org.

Laura: That was a really crappy entrance. [laughs]

Eric: No, I like that.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I think that’s the best transition we’ve ever had.

Laura: Okay. We’ve talked about prophecies at length on the show before so I don’t really think we should focus on them for too long. But does anyone think that any other prophecy, aside from Harry’s, is going to play a role in Book Seven?

Ben: Yes. There’s one prophecy where it has an old woman – or an old man and a woman who says, “The solstice will come anew”.

Laura: Those were actually two different prophecies.

Ben: Okay. Two different prophecies, then. “The solstice will come anew,” and “none will come after.” Those two prophecies, like those two lines, were italicized.

Laura: Yeah. They were definitely emphasized. I think they were important.

Eric: Oh! Which lines are these? I missed these.

Laura: You missed something, Eric?

Kevin: Uh-oh.

Eric: No, I didn’t. I didn’t but I’ve been out of the room for a couple episodes so I’m kind of like – what was the second prophecy? That the new will come anew and the new will be not new?

Laura: There was – whenever they smashed some of the prophecies to escape, Harry specifically heard…

Eric: This wasn’t part of the original prophecy. The “none can live when the other survives.”

Laura: No.

Andrew: No. This is a separate prophecy. This is when they were in the Hall of Prophecies.

Laura: You remember when they were stupefying everything to escape, or reducto, whatever they were using?

Andrew: One fell and it opened and it said, “Solstice anew…”

Laura: It said, “At the solstice will come anew.” And then another one broke and then it was a woman saying, “and none will come after.”

Eric: Oh, no. That’s a joke. Because at the solstice…

Laura: What?

Eric: …there came a new. The fifth Harry Potter book came at the solstice. June 21, 2003.

Laura: Okay, but…

Andrew: It’s kind of funny, actually.

Ben: Yeah. I actually freaked out about that. I e-mailed Emerson.

Eric: It’s Book Five that it even says it in. That’s a joke about the book itself.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: That’s an inside joke.

Andrew: [laughs] No, it’s not an inside joke.

Ben: Yeah. Jo’s slapping her knee about that one.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: And there will be seven… And there will be seven and none will come after.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: What are you – okay, Eric. You are one of the…

Andrew: Well actually, that’s kind of interesting. [laughs]

Laura: Eric, you are one of the biggest… Oh my god.

Eric: That’s a Crackpot Theory.

Andrew: Maybe it’s a little Easter egg she left for us.

Eric: A little Easter egg.

Andrew: A little Easter egg.

Eric: Jo does those.

Andrew: Happy Easter!

Eric: I can buy that.


Repercussion For Breaking Prophecies


Laura: Do you guys think – speaking of smashing prophecies – do you think there are any possible repercussions of them breaking all those prophecies? Are those the only records that are left?

Eric: No.

Kevin: No, because I would assume that they were all cataloged, right? They said that they were in, like, an organized system.

Laura: Well…

Eric: Well, actually…

Laura: Yeah, that’s what it was.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: They broke them.

Kevin: So, assuming they’re cataloged, then you would assume that there was some sort of record as to what they said.

Eric: Then again. But, no. No, no, no, no, no. You can’t record.

Andrew: It says in Order of the Phoenix that those were just for the record, or what does it say, Laura?

Eric: But you can’t record what was said..

Laura: Well, those are for the – yeah. Those are only for the record of the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: And the only other people that know what was said were the people who were present and the people who said them.

Eric: Right. Because the Ministry can…

Laura: So, if those people are dead, then that prophecy’s lost.

Andrew: Oooh, I thought…

Kevin: Yep. You’re right.

Eric: Yeah, it is, because the Ministry themselves can’t even hear the prophecies they’re keeping. so I don’t think that there are that many…

Andrew: Are you sure they’re not logged somewhere else?

Laura: This isn’t MuggleNet. No. [laughs] They’re not logged somewhere else. [laughs] What would be the point? I mean, prophecies have…

Andrew: A book.

Laura: No, they have to be protected, though. Especially ones like Harry’s.

Eric: Yeah, but I don’t think there’s any repercussions.

Laura: You can’t just have multiple prophecies lying around; multiple records of them for people to just run across.

Eric: Well, the only people…

Andrew: No, I know that but I thought, maybe I’m getting it confused with what you said.


How Are The Prophecies Catalogued?


Eric: Guys, the only people that can hear retrieve the prophecy from those little glass balls, the spheres, where the people that it was made about or whatever.

Andrew: Right. Yes.

Eric: So, the Ministry, even though they’re cataloging, like, who can open each ball or hear something from it, however – we don’t even know how that’s done – extracting the actual prophecy from the thing. I don’t think they are any repercussions for actually destroying them, considering how likely is it. And, you know, most of the prophecies don’t even come true, which is the other thing, and then the ones that do, like, how exactly do you arrange for an appointment inside the Department of Mysteries to hear your own prophecy? I think, you know, what are they for to begin with? What is the point of keeping that room of the Hall of Prophecies? What is that for, considering the Ministry can’t hear a darn thing that’s in them. And you can’t – it doesn’t seem to be very easy to go in and find out what it’s saying for yourself.

Andrew: It’s for the record, first of all.

Eric: For the record? They can’t even record what was recorded. What was said.

Andrew: It’s written on the prophecy or something, isn’t it?

Eric: They say something’s made to somebody else, you know? It’s made by Sybil, something something, Trelawney to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: And that’s all it says, but it doesn’t say what it is unless you smash it.

Andrew: Yes it does!

Eric: Unless you smash it…

Andrew: No.

Eric: …you cannot hear it unless you smash it. And even then you have to…

Laura: Well, that’s the only method we’ve seen.

Eric: No, but the only people who can remove the prophecy…

Andrew: Okay, in the book…

Eric: The only people who can remove the prophecy from the shelf are the people it was made about.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: But I wonder about the people who are storing it there. How’d they get it there? I don’t know.

Andrew: Okay. On the prophecy is says, and Ron saw it, too, “SPT to APWBD. Dark Lord and Harry Potter.”

Eric: Oh.

Laura: Yeah. That’s all it says. It doesn’t say the whole prophecy.

Andrew: Well, no.

Eric: Oh.

Andrew: Eric, Eric, Eric said it only just said who it’s from and to. So, take that, Eric.

Eric: Oh. No, okay, so…

Andrew: I just saved us 50 complaint e-mails.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You’re welcome.

Kevin: Yeah, but you would assume that description came from the person who actually created the record of the prophecy.

Eric: Maybe they can touch it.

Kevin: Like Dumbledore said, “Hey, this is the prophecy concerning Dark Lord and Harry Potter. Store for me.”

Eric: And that… Well, maybe… Well, we know, thanks to… Well, Voldemort says the only people who are able to remove it from the shelf once it’s on there is the people it was made about, or to, or about, actually, people it concerns.

Andrew: “When he grabbed it, it felt as though it had been lying in the sun for hours, as though the glow of the light within was warming it.” Just a little tidbit there.

Eric: I’ve read that line in fanfiction many times. And, so, anyway…

Andrew: Okay. That’s uncalled for.

Eric: No, listen.

Andrew: This is a G-rated show.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: You know, I guess since they know it about and you proved me wrong, Andrew, about that. Since they know what it regards, I guess the person who made the record of the prophecy is able to touch the prophecy and place it on the shelf. But, I don’t know. We don’t know anything about the storage of them except the only people that can remove it are the people it was made about, or recorded to have been made about, and that’s it. I would just hate to be the sound guy putting in that sound of smashing glass on the 10 million digital glass spheres that are going go off in the fifth movie.

Laura: What?

Andrew: [sighs] Well, that’s what they’re paid for, Eric, so I don’t think it should be much of a problem there.

Eric: Yeah, that is what they’re paid for. They make a hundred times more than what we’ll ever make.

Andrew: That’s right. That’s right.


Planet Room


Laura: Planets! Let’s take about planets. If you’ll remember Ron, Ginny, and Luna all ended up in a Planet Room.

Eric: Yeah. Do you think Pluto was a planet in that room? Did anybody see Pluto? Was Pluto mentioned? Because I’m interested in if JKR thinks Pluto’s a planet.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Well, no, no, no. You know what I thought was funny that Luna mentioned that she blew up Pluto, which I thought was kind of nerdily funny.

Andrew: Oh. That’s kind of ironic because it’s not a planet anymore.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So, anyway, what’s being studied in the Planet Room? Maybe the…

Eric: Uranus.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Oh, that’s so funny! Not.

Eric: Thank you. Goodnight

Kevin: I mean, we know that the planets do have some, like the alignment of the planets…

Andrew: Right.

Kevin: …do have some effect on showing what’s to come. So, I would assume that they’re trying to study the positions and current state of things.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Kevin, can you explain the String Theory as it applies to Astronomy?

Kevin: No. I am not explaining the String Theory.

Eric: But it’s good. It’s good.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, it’s good, but it is not something to be explained on a Harry Potter podcast.

Eric: Right, right, right.

Ben: You don’t even understand it.

Eric: But I knew you could, so I thought I’d ask.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: But Google or Wiki the String Theory, if you’re interested. Many people have speculated that the alignment of the planets has a lot to do with Earth itself and gravity and Earth turning and…

Kevin: Yeah. Its just concerning, essentially concerning, where gravity actually comes from, because gravity is a force, but what actually is a force? It’s just…

Eric: And what started it.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] String Theory is a model of fundamental Physics, whose building blocks are one dimensional extended objects.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] So, whatever the hell that means.

Eric: No. Seriously, though, you know if Earth stopped turning we’d all go flying through the wall at approximately 100,000 kilometers per second.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: That’d stink.

Eric: That would really stink. Time would go on, but…

Andrew: So, to me, a Planet Room in the Department of Mysteries. Like in Professor Trelawney’s class there’s always the question of, you know, “or the alignment of the planets, it foretells your future.” Maybe that’s what they’re studying.

Kevin: Yeah. That’s what I thought. Absolutely.

Eric: Yeah, but Firenze pretty much said that was crap.

Andrew: He did, but how accurate are their thoughts about all this? Because he was downplaying everything Trelawney was bringing up.

Eric: Yeah, well, Firenze himself said that the stars had been read wrongly by centaurs, too. So…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …I don’t think anybody…

Andrew: So, nobody really knows.

Eric: It doesn’t seem like the Planet Room would do much good.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: Maybe it might.

Kevin: I mean it’s…

Andrew: Well, they’re trying.

Kevin: Yeah, of course.

Eric: Well, like…

Eric: It’s one thing that they may not ever understand but they’re trying to understand it.

Eric: These departments – and it’s interesting talking about these department – but I don’t know that we’ll ever get knowledge of what the Ministry wizards have learned from these planets, considering they’re kind of just there for show, in a way. But, you know…

Laura: Who would they show them to?

Eric: …it’s cool to have a Planet Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well it’s cool to see…

Laura: I don’t think they’re there for show.

Eric: It would be great to ask JK Rowling, “Hey, what have these scientists uncovered about planets in this room?” But it’s not written. You know, it’s not written. The room is there, but Jo couldn’t tell us about a meteor that’s actually coming towards us or anything like that, based on the studies of these wizards. What I’m saying is, this room is… But we wouldn’t like…

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: We could hear theories on what’s in the love room. But beyond that, you know. She wrote it. And it’s a matter of, yes, there’s a planet room, but does that mean that they actually know stuff, and that that’s going to come into play in the books?


Seven Doors Remain


Laura: Yeah, okay, speaking of rooms, I thought it was interesting, because as I was rereading these chapters, I noticed that there are obviously twelve doors in the circular room, and they went through five of them…

Eric: Oh my god.

Laura: Which leaves guess how many that we don’t know about?

Andrew: Six.

Laura: Seven.

Eric: Seven.

Laura: That wonderful…

Eric: Yeah. Twelve minus five is six, and Andrew’s shrinking into the woodwork.

Laura: Seven. So, what I thought was kind of interesting though, and it’s not really important, I guess, but all of the rooms that they were in were kind of connected. Like, the brain room led directly into the Death Chamber.

Eric: You think about death.

Laura: Yeah, the Time room led into the Hall of Prophecy. And the planet Room must have also been accessible from the Hall of Prophecy, because Ron, Ginny and Luna ran in the opposite direction of Harry, Hermione and Neville.

Eric: To me, it makes sense for time and space…

Laura: Well, exactly.

Eric: …to lead to death.

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, it’s all kind of connected the way every aspect of your life is connected.

Eric: So, are we to assume that those twelve doors and twelve rooms…

Laura: …are all connected.

Eric: Presumably are the twelve aspects of life? As we know it?

Laura: Well, not necessarily the aspects of life.

Ben: Oh yeah, planets are an aspect of life.

Eric: Well, love and death, love and death, and space and time. Time, space, love, death. How many more are there?

Laura: But I mean, obviously we didn’t see everything that the Department of Mysteries had to show. And there are obviously seven doors left. Do you think we’re going to find out what’s behind them?

Kevin: I don’t think so.

Laura: How Harry’s going to kill Voldemort? [laughs]

Eric: How Harry knows where Godric’s Hollow is.

Kevin: The Voldemort Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, hey, there should be tyrannical…

Kevin: Like the remains of his previous bodies.

Eric: Or the Darkness Room.

Laura: Well, we can assume that one of those doors leads directly into the Planet Room, which would take us down to six.

Eric: That’s true.

Laura: Just… I don’t know. I’m… You guys all know that.

Kevin: I think that she touched on the rooms that she wanted to describe.

Eric: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was saying about the planets.

Kevin: And although we may see them in passing, I don’t think they’re going to play a huge role in the events.

Laura: See, I don’t know, you guys.

Andrew: Maybe there’s a Break Room…

Laura: Funny.

Eric: You kind of missed the point, where JK can just go…

Kevin: Were you thinking that she’s going to…

Andrew: A bathroom! You’ve got to have a bathroom down there.

Laura: Yeah, that is a big part of life, isn’t it?

Andrew [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: You know they call the toilet the Think Tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Maybe that’s what scarred Ron. It was the… Never mind.

Laura: Ugh, no. Let’s not go there. I don’t know, you guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: The Love Room.


Harry’s Return to the Department of Mysteries


Laura: [laughs] You guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: I don’t know, how do you feel?

Laura: Shut up! I’ve been stressing it since last year that I think that Harry’s…

Andrew: Okay, sorry, new listeners, you don’t get to know how Laura feels because she can’t be bothered to explain.

Laura: Okay, I am explaining, Andrew Sims.

Andrew: Sorry, listeners. We’re just suppose to all guess, because we’re all new listeners. It’s okay Laura, don’t worry
about it.

Eric: To be fair to Laura, Andrew. To be fair to Laura…

Laura: [laughs] No, as I was about to explain before I was so rudely interrupted by this New Jersey kid.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I think the Department of Mysteries is extremely important and I think that Harry’s going to go back and learn a lot about it. I’ve said it multiple times. I think we’re…

Eric: How’s he going to get in?

Laura: Well…

Eric: They wanted him to be the spokesman…

Laura: What the hell. [laughs] He already got in once before.

Kevin: No, it’s not only that, Eric. I think that the Ministry’s going to treat Harry slightly differently now that they know that Voldemort is back.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Kevin: For sure.

Eric: I think people inside the Ministry …

Andrew: I don’t know if that still gives him a reason to go into the Department of Mysteries, though.

Kevin: I think if he wants to see the Department of Mysteries, all he has to do is walk right up to it and go, “Hey, I need to see in there, because it pertains to Voldemort.”

Eric: I don’t think Scrimgeour’s going to let him in.

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t…

Kevin: I see him having pretty much free reign.

Laura: Yeah. I think that Harry’s…

Eric: Well, if he…

Andrew: No. No.

Laura: I seriously think that Harry’s – I think that Harry’s battle with the Ministry is over.

Kevin: I do too.

Laura: I really think it is.

Eric: Well, still, there will be politicians that hate him, like Lucius Malfoy and Rufus Scrimgeour.

Andrew: Of course, but they don’t have any power.

Eric: I think the general people will – and if they see him coming into work, even if it is to go to the Department of Mysteries, him being there at the Ministry is kind of doing what the Ministry wants of Harry anyway.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: Well, yeah, but I think the only reason they would let him in is because they know he could raise a fuss and get something printed in the Daily Prophet, maybe, or something like that.

Eric: Which is true.

Kevin: He has a lot of power. Essentially.

Eric: He does.

Kevin: Over …

Eric: The political state of things.

Laura: Harry has tons of power over the Ministry now.

Eric: Oh, that’s interesting. The power that he now has not based on how he has matured as a wizard but just how he is viewed in society – that power has grown dramatically since Voldemort’s been back.

Laura: Well, yeah.

Kevin: Right.

Laura: Because he’s the only one that can kill Voldemort.

Eric: No, well, yeah, but Andrew said that. If Harry says something in the paper, not that the paper prints anything because the Ministry leans on it, but that’s okay.

Andrew: Go back to the Quibbler.

Laura: Yeah, but as you’ll remember…

Eric: Yeah, oh, well exactly.

Laura: …The Daily Prophet started printing articles about the truth at the end of Order of the Phoenix.

Andrew: Yes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What do you mean, the one that said Voldemort is back?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, of course they had to. Well, they sort of had to.

Laura: Yeah, but see now, now everyone has to listen to Harry because they looked like complete idiots.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: And nobody wants to look like an idiot. I feel like debating something.

Kevin: I feel like leaving.

Andrew: Kevin has to go everyone, so everyone say bye to Kevin.

Laura: Bye Kevin!

Eric: Bye Kevin!

Kevin: Good bye, everyone.

Andrew: Oh no, but wait a second, letting him back into the Department of Mysteries, I don’t think they will. Because, he would have to provide a valid excuse.

Laura: I don’t think it matters. I think that whether they let him in or not, I think he’s going to go. I think that he’d break in if that’s what it took.

Eric: I think he can go. I think he’d be able to go. I think he should go. I think that people will let him in if they see him, but I don’t – I hope Harry becomes the kind of person that cares a lot about studying what’s in that room. He might bring Hermione in with him. He might ask…

Laura: No.

Eric: I don’t know, do you think Harry could actually talk face to face with the people – the Unspeakables who are actually in the Department of Mysteries? Maybe they’ll be slightly more speakable about what they’ve learned?


Was Lily an Unspeakable?


Laura: I don’t know. I still kind of wonder if Lily was an Unspeakable. There’s really no support behind that, but it would be interesting.

Eric: Well, because nobody’s talking about it.

Andrew: And because there’s not much reason.

Eric: Yes, that was a joke.

Laura: Yeah, there’s no reason behind it, but I think it would make sense, just because Jo said that one of them would have to have a high paying career. And she said that their employment was kind of important.

Eric: I don’t know, maybe it was James…

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: And he went back in time and gave himself a penny in the time room or he gave himself a Knut and he then he went back in time and got the Knut and gave himself a Knut and got the Knut and that’s how Harry has the fortune.

Andrew: So, I think that wraps up our discussion on the Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah, it was a good, three-piece…

Andrew: Thing.

Laura: …thing. [laughs]

Andrew: Thinger.

Eric: Three-piece suit.

Andrew: Laura, you’ve been wanting to talk about it for a while.

Ben: What’s next, Laura, Laura, what’s next?

Laura: What do you mean, what’s next?

Andrew: For discussion. I like this series thing.

Laura: In case… I don’t know, should we do series? Series discussions?


Listener Rebuttal – Laura Mallory


Andrew: Well, sometimes, not all the time. We have a couple emails now, couple more e-mails. Christina, 16, of Canada writes: “Hey MuggleCasters, this rebuttal’s for Jamie. On episode 59…”

Ben: Oh good, he’s not even here.

Andrew: I know. [laughs]

“On episode 59, he said that people are curious about the things that they hate. Sorry, Jamie, but there is living proof that what he said is not true. She lives in Georgia. If people are really curious about things they hate, then why doesn’t Mrs. Mallory pick up a Harry Potter book and actually read it?”

Whoa, snap, Christina. Mmmm, girl.

Laura: I don’t think so. Okay, because the truth about Laura Mallory is she has picked up a Harry Potter book. She has skimmed them, but she hasn’t actually read them. She was curious enough about them to actually open them up and look at them. I think that people are curious about the things they hate. How many times…

Eric: I think people are afraid of things they hate.

Laura: Okay. I’m going to and it’s true…

Andrew: When’s the next hearing, Laura?

Laura: I don’t know, they haven’t scheduled it. But for instance, you know…

Andrew: Okay, we’re done talking about Laura Mallory.

Laura: That every… No!

Andrew: It was a quick email I wanted to read.

Laura: No, okay, what I’m saying is that every single person who listens to the show, for instance, has gone out and searched for a person that they hate on MySpace, because they’re curious about what that person’s MySpace looks like.

Ben: You know what’s a good idea?

Eric: I think…

Ben: I think if Laura Mallory stirs up any more trouble or stuff, what we’re going to do, is
give out her phone number and encourage every single visitor to call her.


MuggleCast Dating Service


Andrew: Ooh. That would be pretty good. I like that idea. I finally have a MuggleCast Dating Service update. Finally got one. We put these two together and we’re really happy about it. Actually, I’m completely making that up. I haven’t put any two together. It’s a very messy business, trying to put people together. But, we got this email the other day…

Ben: Don’t you think the MuggleCast Dating Service is responsible for John Noe and Kelly, don’t you feel so?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh, actually, I would agree with that statement, yes. We got this email the other day from Chris, 15 from Arkansas. He writes about his dating service success story. So.

“I didn’t use the actual dating service, but I just got my first girlfriend in five years, because she was listening to her iPod when she came outside as I was playing basketball. I asked her what she was listening to, and she said… MuggleCast.”

Laura: PotterCast.

Andrew: No. MuggleCast.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “That was when we clicked, and started talking about Harry Potter, among other things like football, baseball, cross country. She’s a runner. She’s the first person I’ve met in my town that listens to MuggleCast, and she’s smoking hot [laughs] too. I’ve finally found someone that’s smart – not quite as smart as me, but it will work.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Whoa!

Andrew: “I have a 4.2, she has a 3.8.”

Laura: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!. That’s terrible!

Eric: Whoa. Whoa! How do you compare your girl’s intelligence to yours?

Andrew: Okay. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going.

“As for personality, we talk on the phone for hours without – we talk on the phone for end.

No!

“We talk on the phone for…”

Laura: Hours on end.

Andrew: “…hours on end. We talk on the phone for hours on end without boredom. She’s athletic, so I’m okay in that department, as I said she runs cross country and I play baseball for my high school team, and is beautiful.”

Now, wait a second. Doesn’t smoking hot and beautiful – never mind.

“That combination is nearly impossible to come across in high school. I’m about the only person that is a geek and jock at the same time, so it’s very nice to have someone like that move in next door, because everyone is either one extreme or the other, but, but, but her landlord was being a bully and called the new landlord and got her kicked out, so now she’s going to a different school, but it’s all right.”

So there you go, guys. Next time you see someone random in the hallway, ask them what they’re listening to because it could, very well, be MuggleCast.

Eric: It must have been.. It must have been that 3.8 grade point average that got her kicked out of school.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I wouldn’t…

Eric: He’s got a 4.2, so he’s safe.

Laura: Advice to guys out there, don’t say you’re smarter than your girlfriends. It’s not a good idea.

Eric: Yeah, she listens to MuggleCast, dude. It’s not like she wouldn’t find out.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, so e-mail us next week and let us know how the breakup goes.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, there’s your success story.

Laura: MuggleCast breakups.

Ben: Break up with him, okay? You hear me? What’s her name? Do you know her name? Did he say her name?

Andrew: No. I knew it, but it was on her MySpace.

Ben: Well, anyway, you know what? Break up with him. You are too good for him, okay? He obviously does not appreciate you.

Eric: Yeah, he may be a jock and a geek at the same time, but do you really want both ends of the spectrum.

Andrew: I think it’s terrible you guys are talking him out of it, and I don’t appreciate that kind of attitude you guys are sharing here on the show.

Eric: Sorry.

Andrew: And we’re going to have a talk after – we haven’t finished recording.

Ben: Unhappy with what?

Andrew: The attitude you’re bringing to the show. I don’t appreciate it.

Eric: Because we have such an excellent track record with this whole dating service.

Andrew: Yeah [Laughs]


Debate: Decree For The Restriction of Underage Wizardry


Andrew: Okay, so anyway, guys, it’s time that we have another debate.

Ben: Another debate.

Andrew: We did one of these – We did one of these a few weeks ago.

Eric: That’s debatable, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs and rings bell]

Andrew: We did one of these a few weeks ago, and we got a lot of great feedback about it, and then we didn’t do another one. We had planned to, but we just didn’t, so we’re doing another one now. Go ahead, Ben.

Ben: I’ll take over here. Okay. Reminder. Quick reminder about the format. Each side, the affirmative and the negative, or the pro and the con, each gets two minutes to present their case over the topic, and this week’s topic is: In times of war, the Wizarding world should lift the Decree For the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. Okay? On…

Eric: I would like to go first…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Andrew and Laura are saying they should not lift the restriction, and Eric is on his own side, he’s bidding by himself. So if he pulls this out, it’s a miracle, folks, because…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …he has one mind working against two.

Laura: I think either way, Andrew and I look really bad.

Andrew: Yeah. [Laughs]

Ben: So, just a reminder here: We have two minutes – each side gets two minutes to present their case, then there will be about five minutes of discussion, then they each get a minute to sum up their position.

Andrew: I just want to say something first. The one big piece of feedback we got about this segment was that it sounds like we’re yelling at each other. We don’t – it sounds like we don’t like each other.

Laura: That’s debate.

Andrew: Yeah, we don’t actually. If it sounds like we’re getting angry with each other – which we shouldn’t…

Laura: Well…

Ben: We’re just passionate about what we do, okay? That’s all it is.

Andrew: Right. We still love each other. It’s – don’t take it seriously.

Ben: And one other thing. One other thing you should remember: there will be a poll on MuggleCast.com; vote for who you think the winners are. My vote – I’ll decide who I think won at the end of the debate – my vote counts for 25 percent of the vote, but remember do not side with me just because I’m Ben Schoen. Vote for whoever you think won, okay?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: No, seriously. Last week, last time, there were some people who were angry because they thought that the only reason Jamie and I won was because Andrew voted for us.

Laura: Okay.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Which was obviously not true because we stomped them.

Laura: Oh, yes.

Ben: So vote for, honestly, whoever you think won.

Andrew: We never said that on the last – we never said – announced on the show who won the last time. It was Jamie and Ben.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: You me and Jamie.

Laura: Laura and Eric.

Andrew: By popular vote, too, so it wasn’t even…

Ben: We got about a two-thirds of the vote – the fan vote – plus Andrew’s 25 percent, so yeah. We won. Okay so now lets get things started. Andrew and Laura. No, actually, hold on a second. Actually, the affirmative has to start first.

Eric: They should lift it. First of all, my main problem with it – the Decree of Underage Wizardry – is that it’s crap. It’s complete, complete crap. Even when not in war, they should completely abolish this rule, this law. It does nothing. It does absolutely nothing but protect people or rather, hurt the people that don’t deserve it. Harry didn’t even use the Hover Charm that Dobby did, and he got slagged for it, and it was held against him in the large Wizengamot trials later on when it was just complete crap. Harry didn’t do a charm in his house, but just because he doesn’t happen to live with magical relatives under their house, he gets all this flak for magic being done in his house in front of Muggles. Anybody who’s anybody could walk in to his house and do magic, and he would get in trouble for it, and I don’t think that’s fair at all. Now, on the other hand, if you live in a Wizarding home like the Weasleys, you can play Quidditch every other weekend out in your back yard with poles and brooms and you can have such a more fruitful life, rather, living with magic. I really feel bad for people who don’t live in wizarding houses, because they have to figure everything out once they get to Hogwarts, whereas the Wizarding community, you know, oh, it’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure the kids don’t do anything. Yeah, bull crap. The parents will be teaching their kids everything they know, just like that’s how regular parenting takes place. So, my final reasons for the Restriction Of Underage Wizardry being lifted is that in times of war, especially, it will be very hard to track everything – hang on. Are you guys still on? Okay, because somebody jumped out. All right. In times of Wizarding war it would be even harder to track that kind of thing. Who’s going to be in whose houses? Everyone is going to be hiding. It doesn’t work to begin with, it’s a flawed system; just leave it as it is, and that’s pretty much it. Just leave it. It’s absolute crap and it punishes the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and now that it’s wartime, you just got to get rid of it.

Ben: Okay. Now, the negative, you have two minutes to respond.

Laura: There are concrete reasons as to why the Ban on Underage Wizardry shouldn’t be lifted, and the first of which is that it can seriously compromise the ability to detect other illegal magic going on. Say if the Ministry is trying to keep tabs on what all is going on magically, 1,000 underage wizards casting spells to their heart’s content could clog the system, as it were, making Ministry and Order response much less effective. Eric mentioned that child safety should be considered, and he’s right. However, I think it’s important to remind ourselves that students are already allowed to defend themselves. The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry specifies that underage wizards are allowed to use magic in cases where defense is required, not to mention, if you’re having a bunch of untrained wizards running around casting magic spells that they don’t quite know how to use, you can end up causing a lot more harm, because people could get hurt.

Andrew: Eric’s only real point there is that it’s crap that you would be able to – that you should keep it on because it just doesn’t make sense. If you were to remove this ban, it would be mayhem. That’s what it comes down to. It would just be mayhem.

Laura: Well, not to mention…

Andrew: Just think of the bad kids who would be able to go out and do some – cause some disaster in their local Muggle neighborhood, and they wouldn’t be able to get in trouble for that? I mean, under some rule they might. They might.

Laura: Well, I mean when you think about it, it’s not like the average student could defend themselves from a Death Eater or Voldemort himself, anyhow. So, isn’t it better to keep things the way they are in terms of students continuing their educations in a safe environment where magic is regulated?

Eric: Three, two, one.

Ben: Okay, now five minutes. Well, let’s say about… Yeah, until I say stop. Roughly five minutes of crossfire here.

Laura: All right, Eric, one of the first examples you cited was that children in Wizarding homes can perform magic. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. You, for instance, said that they can play Quidditch, well that isn’t necessarily performing magic when you play Quidditch. The objects themselves are magical. So, it’s not like, by the Weasley children playing Quidditch, they’re breaking the Decree for Underage Wizardry and not getting in trouble for it.

Eric: They’re certainly breaking, or infringing upon the Muggle protection act.

Laura: No, they’re not!

Andrew: How?

Eric: They’re making themselves seen by…

Laura: No, they’re not. They don’t live in a Muggle community.

Eric: Or visible. That’s true. But, but just things like that. I’m saying people who grow up in wizarding families can be so much more well-rounded, just because of their family and there’s no consequences as a result. I don’t think it’s a big deal too much though because I do agree with what you guys said about Muggle children being held accountable for going and turning their Muggle faces into goo, or something, next door, you know? But that’s a home problem, too, and that’s – I don’t necessarily know what the Ministry’s so afraid about as far as that goes. But what I’m saying is that even though you are allowed to use magic if you’re defending yourself, that’s way after they take you to court that any of that information is found out. You get a court sentence…

Laura: It doesn’t…

Eric: An owl through your window.

Laura: It doesn’t matter. You still don’t…

Eric: And so much..

Laura: You’re still not found guilty of it.

Eric: Right, but in the time of war, in a time of war so many people are going to be defending themselves. So many people who are younger and maybe even can’t do it, but they are going to be using magic..

Laura: Exactly, so…

Eric: And…

Laura: That’ll probably change a little bit.

Eric: Can you imagine the expense of owls that’ll be sent out if anybody wants to maintain this crap?

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: But Eric, because it’s – because its a time of war, those regulations are probably going to change.

Eric: Right, but so many of…

Laura: They’re not…they’re not going…

Eric: Instances.

Laura: To bring people to court for defending themselves against Dementors anymore. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Well…

Laura: Because Harry’s already proven that Voldemort’s back and that people are going to have to do that.

Eric: So you’re kind of basically saying that the ban will be lifted anyway.

Laura: No, I’m not saying the ban will be lifted. I’m saying people aren’t going to be hauled to court every time they defend themselves. So, it’s not like we’re going to have…

Eric: Well, they’ll still be apparently breaking this restriction. So…

Laura: But they’re not…

Eric: If it’s kept in place.

Laura: They’re not breaking the restriction because they’re defending themselves and it’s already in the decree…

Eric: But who can prove that?

Laura: That they’re allowed to.

Eric: They needed a witness. Dumbledore needed to bring in Mrs. Figg to…

Laura: No, Harry’s trial…

Eric: To prove…

Laura: Eric…

Eric: To prove that they were defending themselves. What I’m saying is that so many people would be defending themselves. There are so many instances where people are going to – where underage wizards, more often than not, are going to be using magic to defend themselves. It is a complete waste of time.

Laura: Well, citing…

Andrew: Eric that’s…

Eric: Complete waste of time.

Andrew: That’s a terrible example.

Laura: Yeah. Citing Harry’s trial is…

Andrew: You reference the court trial. Umbridge admitted…

Laura: A really bad example.

Andrew: Umbridge admitted herself that she sent the Dementors after him so how could you say…

Laura: Yeah, it was the ministry trying to get Harry…

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Into trouble.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: It’s not a good example.

Eric: Okay.

Laura: You can’t take Harry’s trial and say that’s going to be the average experience of every person who uses defensive magic, because it’s not.

Eric: No, in Year Two, he still got the owl through the… I mean, in many instances, or in many cases the owl worsened things for Harry, or it sure didn’t help. And the other thing, too, that I wanted to say about this is that I think once you – I don’t really like the idea that you’re not able to use magic when you get home from Hogwarts. I don’t necessarily agree with that. Now, that has to do with the underage wizard thing as well. There’s no way to refine your technique or do anything with magic unless you’re being schooled. And I can kind of see they want people to come out well-rounded and well – I just there’s a large unaccountability. Like for instance Tom Riddle, had he been living at a magic home, could have done far more evil and not gotten reprimanded for it when he was home from the holidays. Just because he lived in a magical institution. Now, he didn’t. It just so happens that he didn’t, but if he had…

Laura: So, you think we should lift the bans…

Eric: I’m saying people like Draco Malfoy-

Laura: So, that people like Draco…

Eric: No.

Laura: Could run around and cast terrible spells and even more mayhem?

Eric: No. I’m saying Draco can cast terrible magic spells-

Laura: Not as much as he…

Eric: As much as he wants to.

Laura: Not as much as he’d be able to-

Eric: As much as he wants to, yes, under his own roof, because Lucius is a respected member of society. His son can get away with doing so much.

Laura: But we’re not even talking about the past right now, we’re talking about the future, because they’re in the middle of a war. If Draco’s not even with his dad anymore it doesn’t matter because they’re going to know that. If they have detections of an underage wizard running around the British countryside performing magic, they’re going to know it.

Eric: Well, either way, they’re both of age now, or they will both be of age soon. Draco and Harry. But it’s just a matter – I really think it’s flawed. I really think that there should not be a repercussion considering it’s – they don’t even have to do magic to get flagged. If somebody else does magic in their home, like Dobby, or something, it just – you’re blamed for something you didn’t do.

Andrew: I want to know how it’s flawed because there is, like Laura brought up in her opening thing, you are allowed to use magic if it is for defensive purposes, like against a Dementor. So how do you think – how is it flawed?

Eric: Okay. Dobby uses hover charm, Harry gets sentenced, or he gets a warning, an official warning, that if he later gets warnings will bring him to court.

Andrew: Yeah, okay.

Eric: That’s a flaw.

Andrew: How is that flawed? I don’t – I’m not following you.

Eric: He didn’t do the magic – he didn’t do the crime, but he’s going to do the time.

Andrew: But he didn’t.

Eric: That in itself is flawed.

Laura: He didn’t do any time for it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: No, he didn’t that time, but how many more times would Dobby have had to go in and use a charm and he would get slammed. I’m saying first of all, you’re saying it’s okay because he didn’t do the time, that he’s still getting officially labeled as that? Officially – it’s on his official record.

Andrew: Yes, because him a warning it’s not like they automatically flipped out on him and said “That’s it.”

Eric: No, but they had the record that he was being warned. They had the record that he was warned. It made him look bad.

Laura: The thing is Eric..

Eric: And, of course, they’re trying to prove he was looking bad.

Laura: Eric. It was a rare situation. Again, using Harry as an example here isn’t the best way to defend yourself because… Oh, no, because…

Eric: Okay, but Harry’s all we have.

Laura: All sorts of unusual events happen to Harry, not every Muggle-born or Muggle-raised child is going to have a house-elf in their house performing magic. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Which is true. Which is true.

Laura: So, there are obvious exceptions to the way systems work. It’s how it happens, but-

Eric: Well, clearly the idea that a parent of a wizarding child will be responsible enough to prevent their kid from doing harmful magic to Muggles is a completely flawed idea.

Ben: Okay, that wraps up that.

Laura: The point is… Okay…

Ben: That wraps up our little cross-fire section there. Yeah, so Laura and Andrew, you have one minute to tell me why they should not – why in times of war they should not lift the ban.

Andrew: It would just be a huge mistake. There would be mayhem on the streets. Who knows, maybe someone, a wizard, could make a mistake in casting a spell on someone, because, you know, everyone’s on edge. So maybe they’ll see someone and be like, “Ahhh, Avada Kedavra!” Okay, maybe not that bad, but…

Laura: Well, just like in times of war in our world, do we say it’s okay for underage children to run around with guns? I mean it’s in – just for instance whenever you’re learning to drive, just because, you know, you made need to go to the store by yourself, or because your parents aren’t home, it doesn’t mean you can drive by yourself if you haven’t been certified. So, these underage people who are learning how to use magic, and they haven’t refined their technique yet, they obviously can’t run around using magic unmonitored, and the only place that the Ministry has a common ground on monitoring that magic is at Hogwarts. So, they shouldn’t be able to perform it outside of school.

Andrew: And this is all assuming that during this war that there are going to be random attacks on people. But even if there is that’s where you are allowed to defend yourself.

Ben: Eric, tell me why they should lift the decree.

Eric: I think on principle, it’s a decent idea that you have to restrict kids who are obviously not in a closed environment supervised by an elder to use magic, and that in itself is a good idea, but I don’t personally think that it works the same ways that it should. It prevents magic from being done in front of Muggles, maybe, but at the same time you could still bring Muggles to a wizarding household and perform all sorts of crap on them. Especially, if you are a Pure-Blood wizard who hates Muggles, you could do so many things to Muggles and there would be no way of detecting it. Almost. I’m trying to think that maybe there’s something in the Ministry that goes along with this that allows somebody to tell what charm was used such as the Hover Charm. So, there’s some way of maybe flagging houses, or detecting what kind of magic is used in a particular instance. So, maybe in the war, even if a Muggle accidentally, or is hit by an inexperienced wizard, there might be some record of it. I’m just saying it shouldn’t be banned. People should not have to – not necessarily account for their actions, but I’m trying to think of a situation where they are actually, you know, trying to vandalize streets. When they’re running from Voldemort. I think during war time the – I think it’s very unlikely, not unlikely, but I think they’ve got bigger fish to fry than the little kids who are going to be running around the streets. You know? Nobody’s going to be running around. They’re going to be hiding in there houses, waiting for Voldemort.

Ben: Good. Good debate everybody. I’m very impressed. A few comments before I give my decision. Something that, Eric, you should have spent more time on in your first little spiel there was that it says “in times of war.” You spent a lot of time explaining why the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry was just bad to begin with but you should have spent saying, “Okay in times of war these people are going to be under threat, why should the Ministry have to worry about little kids casting spells when they could be being attacked.” Laura and Andrew, something that you should have mentioned more and especially in your last little thing was that whenever there’s a – whenever your life is being threatened it is okay for you to use it, so therefore it doesn’t matter if the decree is lifted because they can use it when they absolutely need to. But Eric, I know, I’m saying that you should have mentioned it in your last thing. But Eric something that you should have brought up like in response to that was not just about the hassles it’s going to bring on the Ministry – I like the thing you brought up about the owls – but that when parents aren’t around as much they may need magic to make their lives easier and perform everyday activities and not just against Death Eaters. You know what I’m saying? If that makes any sense. Yeah. Overall, I think it was good. I don’t know if this is going to be the popular decision here, but I’m going to have to vote with the affirmative or, Eric Scull.

[Andrew groans]

Laura: What?! You are such a tool!

Ben: Hold on, hold on.

Laura: You’re such a tool! [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Hold on, no. Here’s why. Here’s why: He made a good point that you guys brought up, okay, that they should only be allowed to defend themselves when they’re “qualified” to defend themselves. And I think that’s a really good point that they should lift the Ban on Underage Wizardry just because of the hassle it’s going to cause, when there’s going to be more attacks, the Ministry’s forces are going to spread to begin with. So, they’re going to need absolutely everybody and they’re not going to need to be tracking underage magic because it’s too much of a hassle especially when these people are going to be attacked. And something else that he did mention in his last little spiel is that these people – these kids aren’t going to go out destroying streets just because they’re allowed to use magic, that it’s going to be used when they absolutely need to defend themselves. So, there you have it. Eric Scull wins in my opinion.

Andrew: All right. It’s up to the listeners now, to decide.

Ben: Yeah, it’s up to the listeners to decide. Remember…

Laura: It’s up to the listeners not to be delusional. Geez.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Okay, if you honestly think that Eric – I mean Andrew and Laura won the debate, please vote for them. Do not let my decision bear on yours, have any weight on yours at all. And something else that’s important to mention: Please don’t let this turn into a popularity contest about “Oh, I think Andrew’s the coolest host, so I’m going to vote for Andrew.” Don’t make it about that, make it about the arguments.

Eric: Or “Eric is funny, he talks too much” or anything like that.

Andrew: We already know I am the coolest host.

Eric: Oh, you are, yeah.

Ben: So, I’m just saying…

Eric: How pathetic are we, dude? Alphabetically, you’re number one.

Andrew: I have to start saying I’m just kidding after everything I say because then I get these emails about how big of a head I have. People don’t understand – I’m just doing it to be sarcastic.

Laura: Yeah. People in the comments – oh my, god, did you see them last week?

Andrew: Yeah. “You guys have big heads!” No, we don’t!

Laura: I think it was me, Micah, and Kevin were the only ones who weren’t egotistical now, or something. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Listen: It’s a joke! We’re just kidding. When I act arrogant, like saying that “we already know I am the coolest host”. I’m just kidding! I don’t really mean that!

Laura: Yeah, he does.

Andrew: Well, yes, I do.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But, the point is… [laughs] No, I’m serious. It’s just a joke, okay? Please don’t take it seriously. [still laughing] I’m just tired of hearing that.

[Laura laughs]


Show Close


Andrew: On that note, I think it is time we start saying goodbye.

Eric: Oh, wait! There’s something at the bottom of the Writely. What is this? It’s number nine. British joke.

Laura: Yeah, well, you’re not British.

Andrew: That when – that was back yesterday when we thought Jamie was going to be on, but..

Laura: Before we flipped the “Easy” button. [laughs]

Andrew: Oui, oui.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, guys. The decision of who would host this week came down to this little sound: [presses the “Easy” button]

Andrew: We had to flip the “Easy” button to decide would it be Laura coming on the show or Jamie coming on the show? Because it was either one or the other that we had to sacrifice and Jamie lost and landed on the uneasy side. The easy side sounds like this: [presses button again] So, there you go. That’s how we decide things here on MuggleCast. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Next time you need something decided just let me know, and I’ll flip the “Easy” button for you.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Andrew at staff. Anyway…

Ben: Anyway, the P.O. Box:

P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, KS 67107.

Send us anything – send us anything except Subway gift cards. Send those to Darfur, please. [laughs]

Andrew [Show close music in background]: You can also call the MuggleCast voicemail box: You can dial 1-218-20-MAGIC, and if you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: If in Australia, where we lost the award and will probably canceling that number because apparently nobody likes us down there –

[Ben laughs]

Ben: [in Australian accent] Down under, down under.

Andrew: You can call 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username “MuggleCast” to leave your voicemail question, comment, or concern.

Eric: If you’re an aspiring stalker and wish to view images of the…

Andrew: You can view our MySpace! Perfect transition! MySpace.com/MuggleCastFans. We also got the Facebook, we got the YouTube group, we got the Frappr group, we also have the fanlisting and forums. Please vote for us on Podcast Alley and show your support, and rate us on Yahoo! Podcasts.

Ben: Also, check out…

Andrew: Yeah, just want to say again, thanks to everyone for listening.

Ben: This is the Love Room right here.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: This is the Love Room. Something’s heating up!

Ben: [sings] The love shack is a little old place where we can get together! [laughs] Love shack baby!

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: [sings] Love shack! I’m Ben Schoen.

[Eric sings in background]

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: And I am Eric Scull.

Andrew: Kevin?

Ben: [in Kevin’s voice] I’m Kevin Steck.

Andrew: Jamie?

Ben: [in British accent] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Micah?

Ben: [in Micah’s voice] I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 61! Wooo!


Bloopers


Eric: You guys want something really messed up with time? I was born April 23rd EST at 12:11, right after midnight, but in about seven time zones in the world, I was born on April 22nd. And it was even like… Yeah. Yeah, so if you were to see my birthday…

Andrew: Wow. Wow.

Kevin: That’s like the people born on the extra day in a leap year. Technically they’re only four years old if you were born in 1986.

Eric: Well, no. It’s not even that random. Anybody born on the east coast within like the first six hours of the day, you know, it’s a different date somewhere else around the world. But I guess that’s true with any time of day. It’s pretty much…

Andrew: Whoa.

Laura: Yeah exactly. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I guess.

Eric: Everyone has different birthdays.

Ben: If I was born at 11 PM…

Kevin: I think that extra day – I think being born on the extra day in a leap year – it just tops that, Eric. I’m sorry.

Ben: Eric, you’re just trying to make yourself feel unique.

Eric: Yeah. That’s it.

Ben: Like you have four birthdays or something.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: But, but, but in the year 2000, my birthday was Easter Sunday and I thought I was the Prodigal Son or something. I was like all flipping out. It was really cool.

Ben: That you’re Jesus.

Kevin: [laughs] I knew you were going to say that. I knew it was coming.

[Everyone laughs]


Andrew: Guys, I have the answer! You know who gave it to me?

Laura: Bono?

Andrew: Bono.

Kevin: Oh geez.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Bono. I have an answer. It’s in a song called Mercy”.

Laura: [still laughing] How did he give it to you?

Andrew: “Love is where I lie. Love puts the blue back in my eye. Love has come again. I am gone again…”

Ben: Yeah, wonderful lyrics.

Eric: Are Bono’s eyes blue?

Andrew: Wait! But there’s more! “Love’s got to be with a wink. Only then love gets a chance to speak. Love will come again. I’ll be gone again. Again.”

Eric: So, how do you get love into a room?

Ben: I think Micah Tannenbaum is pure love.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Wait there’s more! “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay.

Ben: Okay!

Andrew: “Love brings with it a clarity!”

Eric: Ben, is that what you’re saying? We should lock Micah up in a room?

Ben: Micah Tannenbaum is love.

Andrew: [sings] “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay. Here’s my point.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love brings with it clarity.”

Eric: Seriously, what the hell? Okay, Laura, you’re on to something.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love has come again.”

Laura: Andrew, shut up! Thank you.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “I’m alive again.”

Laura: Oh my gosh! Hush. Anyway, here’s what I’m saying, okay…

Kevin: [laughs] This is going to be good.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #59

MuggleCast 59 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because JKR got bored on the train, thank you, Erin, Grace, and Sarah, this is MuggleCast Episode 59 for October 14th, 2006.

See why GoDaddy.com is the number one domain registrar worldwide. Now, with your domain name registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete email, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “Ron,” that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of the Internet today at GoDaddy.com!

Jamie: Because magic is a manifestation of the mind… [Jamie continues one of his V for Vendetta rants] And I’m Jamie Lawrence.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Jamie: And I’m tired after that.

Andrew: Who wrote that for you, Jamie? [laughs]

Jamie: That was…

Kevin: Wow, you did it the first time.

Jamie: Stephanie. That was Stephanie. Thank you, Stephanie.

Andrew: We’re back for another week of MuggleCast. No Ben this week, unfortunately. Eric’s…

Jamie: Sorry, did you say “unfortunately”?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I almost had you there, Andrew. I’m joking Ben. I love you, Ben.

Micah: I think Laura Mallory actually got to him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh! [laughs]

Jamie: Literally, she got to him. Killed him, murdered him…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Eric Scull, you know, New Zealand, California, Vegas…

Laura: New York…

Andrew: Wherever else he went.

Laura: …Chicago.

Andrew: New York…it wasn’t enough. He’s in Chicago this week.

Laura: I think you said Miami’s next, right? Andrew?

Kevin: Oh really?

Andrew: At this rate…

Jamie: What? He’s actually going this – now? As in after Chicago?

Laura: Yes, Jamie. Yes, he’s going to Miami.

Kevin: Yes, it’s a cross-country tour.

Jamie: I wouldn’t be surprised. I wouldn’t be surprised.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [Laughs] I know!

Jamie: Considering he goes half way around the world every single week and then still comes back and works 18 hours a day.

Laura: Hey you know what? I think everybody should write to the MuggleCast e-mail, saying where they think Eric will go next.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: “Where’s Eric?”

Jamie: Get a free T-shirt if you guess the city, hotel, time, place, everything.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Kevin: It’s a twist on “Where’s Waldo?”

Laura: [laughs] Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

Andrew: I have a feeling he’ll be done after the Chicago trip.

Jamie: But, Kevin, you can spot Eric really easily because he’d just be wearing his Hogwarts robes on the photos. [laughs]

Kevin: [laughs] That’s true!

Jamie: He would be easy to spot.

Andrew: Oh, speaking of Hogwarts robes, we got to talk about what we’re all going to be for Halloween, because I know what I’m going to be and all of you can probably guess. But, first…

Jamie: What, Bono?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, not Bono. That’s a good idea! No, not Bono. But first, Micah Tannenbaum, you have the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: The Portuguese Harry Potter translator, Isabella Nunes, has reportedly confirmed in an interview with a Portuguese fan site that RAB does indeed stand for Regulus Arcturus Black. Apparently, before Book Six hit shelves, she contacted Jo about the character’s gender, and was told the full name as well as the gender.

Her reason for shedding light on the topic at this point is to “keep awake” the excitement for the seventh book. In the past, Nunes also clarified that Blaise Zabini is a man and Professor Sinistra is a woman.

Last month we told you about a new cover for Quidditch Through the Ages, included in the Harry Potter Schoolbooks Box Set along with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Now, the cover for the latter has emerged online. Both books benefit UK charity Comic Relief and can be purchased on Amazon.com. [mutters]Shameless plug.

In movie news, a recent breakthrough in film technology, developed by Image Metrics, allows a computer to map an actor’s performance onto any character: virtual or human, living or dead. The developers say it is far superior to standard hand-drawn computer graphics which are very costly and time-consuming. Warner Bros. will use this technology in the depiction of Grawp (played by Tony Maudsley) in Order of the Phoenix, which will surely bring Hagrid’s giant half-brother to life.

While in New York City for the premiere of his new film, Driving Lessons, Rupert Grint sat down for a chat with AM New York, where he discussed filming on Order of the Phoenix. He said they shot the Thestral scenes recently and that “it was really a good time because they had to make a mold, a specially made harness that goes under your legs, because in the film it has to be invisible. They put you on this crane and lifted you up in the air. That’s been my favorite scene so far.”

Speaking of the fifth film, the first theatrical teaser trailer for Order of the Phoenix will be released Friday, November 17th in front of the WB film Happy Feet.

And, additional information has emerged this week on Daniel Radcliffe’s appearance as Alan Strang in the London West End play, “Equus.” Apparently, 60 audience members will be seated on the stage itself with the rest in the stalls and circle. The play, written by Peter Shaffer, will run in the round for 16 weeks. Previews will begin on February 16th and the official opening is scheduled for the 27th. Rehearsals will commence January 3rd.

And, tied into a topic we mentioned on last week’s show, finally, the online hangout MySpace.com will organize 20 concerts featuring bands promoted on its site as part of a campaign to raise awareness and money for humanitarian relief in Sudan. We’ll have complete information on this in the show notes.

That’s all the news for this October 14th, 2006, edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Halloween


Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah. Anyway, guys: Halloween. What are you all going to be for Halloween?

Laura: What am I going to be for Halloween, Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I’m going to be a Target employee.

Andrew: Oh!

Kevin: Oh!

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Because that’s what I’m doing on Halloween.

Kevin: That sounds really interesting.

Laura: Yay me!

Andrew: What is that? A nice red polo shirt with a little Target logo on it?

Laura: Yeah, with my lame khaki pants.

Andrew: Khaki pants? [laughs]

Kevin: I was thinking a belligerent college student, what do you think?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You expect to walk around like that?

Andrew: I was expecting you to be Bill Gates, actually.

Kevin: [laughs] Yeah!

Jamie: I’m going to be boring. I’m going to stay in and I’m just going to dropkick people’s pumpkins when they ask me for trick or treats.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: Oh okay, so he’s going to be a…

Micah: You’re not going to steal their candy?

Jamie: No, I am. You know, you should learn that life is a complete disappointment early in life.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You shouldn’t have to wait you’re like a teenager or older, so when they come around, I’m going to steal their candy, drop-kick their pumpkins, and tell them that if they ever come back here again, I’m going to sort them out.

[Everyone laugh]

Jamie: I’m sorting them out, you know

Andrew: Micah, what are you going to be for Halloween?

Micah: I don’t know. I don’t think I can top Jamie’s stealing candy from children.

Jamie: Just do the same, then.

Micah [laughs]: Just do the same?

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. I would. Laura, that’s wrong when you say you can’t be too old for Halloween.

Laura: You’re never too old for Halloween.

Jamie: That’s not true!

Andrew: Well, no…

Jamie: If you’re 110, and you can’t move, you should not be dressing up as a vampire and going around for candy.

Laura: Excuse me, Jamie.

Jamie: Yeah?

Laura: If you’re 110, then Halloween is the perfect holiday for you.

Jamie: Yeah. Oh yeah, you don’t have to dress up.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: It’s true, yeah.

Jamie: Although, I’m sure – no, no, no. Come on. I think you can be too old for it.

Laura: Nope, you’re wrong.

Kevin: I don’t think you can.

Jamie: It’s like… Go on!

Laura: Hey! Halloween – I’ll remind you all – Halloween is J.K. Rowling’s favorite holiday. So, you can never be too old for Halloween.

Jamie: But, that doesn’t mean you could – that’s good, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be too old for it.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I never said… I said you can’t be too old for Halloween. It’s an awesome holiday.

Andrew: I mean I’m not going to be going trick-or-treating.

Laura: Well, it doesn’t mean you have to trick-or-treat.

Andrew: I feel a little too old for that, yeah. Well, I’m going to be…

Jamie: What else are you meant to do, then?

Andrew: Everyone in my school, you know, everyone… I was sort of outed this year with the whole Harry Potter thing. So, I’m going to be Harry Potter.

Jamie: Really?

Laura: Really?

Andrew: No cloak.

Kevin: You don’t have a cloak?

Laura: Do you remember last year when people dressed up as us?

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, that contest.

Jamie: No. [laughs]

Kevin: Oh yeah, that was…

Laura: Wasn’t that weird?

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. That was pretty funny. But, I’m going to be hosting the morning show program that we do, and we have to dress up.

Jamie: Nice.

Andrew: Me and my friend are going to be Harry Potter. I’m going to be vested…

Jamie: Hey!

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Doesn’t being Harry Potter just involve drawing a scar and putting on some glasses? That’s what everyone seems to do.

Andrew: Scarf? No, not scarf. Yeah. Scar, glasses. I’m going to wear the gray vest.

Jamie: Dye your hair black as well?

Andrew: The white under shirt.

Kevin: Yeah, Andrew. Do you have…

Andrew: The black pants.

Kevin: Do you have the Triwizard Cup still?

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: You can bring that around. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: The one you were supposed to give away like three months ago.

Laura: You know what this reminds me of?

Andrew: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kevin. [laughs]

Kevin: Okay?

Laura: I was actually hired to work on MuggleNet on Halloween.

Andrew: Really?

Kevin: Really?

Laura: So, this Halloween is going to be my two-year anniversary, yes.

Andrew: Oh wow.

Kevin: That was a sad day in MuggleNet history.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It’s been downhill from there.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew [laughs]: Anyway…

Laura: That’s what they all say.


Announcements


Andrew: Let’s get people up-to-date here on some things that we’re doing around the podcast. We have the new website up. Hopefully everyone’s enjoyed that. We’ve gotten a lot of good feedback about it. We’re working on the comments.

Laura: Even though the comments don’t work.

Andrew: Yeah, we’re working on that. It’s a MuggleNet server issue. It’s not really our fault. And also every week, we’re going to be making a round-up post, that’ll basically go over what the feedback was of the previous week’s show. And Laura did the first one for Episode 58. And without the comments, we have no way of telling if people like it or not. [laughs]

Laura: If you guys actually liked it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, if you guys hated it, just write me and tell me you hated it.

Andrew: It’ll just be a good way of keeping the site fresh and going over some people’s feedback.


Transcript Update


Andrew: Micah you got an update about the transcripts?

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah. Just the database is finally up-to-date, after a couple of months. I think since about the summertime. We’ve had some problems getting things up to you guys in a timely fashion. But, everything should start to be moving along smoothly. We have a lot of stuff going on right now. We’re still working on L.A. with Leaky, and Episode 58 and now 57, and now 59. So, we might get backed up a little bit.

Jamie: Cool.

Micah: But, I want to take just a moment to thank everyone. This is going to be like one of Jamie’s V for Vendetta lists right here.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Hey!

Micah [laughs]: Because there are a lot of people. But, just to thank the transcribers, I’m just going to go through the list real quick: Shelly, Shannon, Sarah, Roni, Megan, Marti, Mandie, Judy, Jessica, Amanda, Ally, Adrienne, Matthew. And then we have three editors: Margaret, Eloise, and Allison. And we just added two this week: Samantha and Brianna.

[Kevin laughs]

Micah: So, thanks you guys!

Jamie: Thank you!

Andrew: Thank you! Look at this team Micah has built!

Laura: Thanks!

Micah: I know!

Jamie: Micah.

Andrew: It’s an excellent job, Micah.

Laura: He remembers.

Jamie: He remembers. Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: To think that I used to do the episodes all by myself.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: You know, I meant to tell you this the other day. I was thinking about this for some reason before I went to bed one night. I was just thinking about how great it was – the best idea we ever had to hire Micah. Seriously.

Kevin: Thank you.

Andrew: Thanks, Micah.

Laura: Awww, Micah.

Kevin: It’s like a sweat shop.

Jamie: Do you think about Micah every night before you go to sleep?

Andrew: Yeah, I do. [laughs]

[All laugh]

Jamie: I certainly do, so there’s no shame in it.

Andrew: I have a picture of him on my night stand.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: That’s kind of creepy.

Jamie: I’ve got seven.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]


MuggleCast T-Shirts


Andrew: Also, MuggleCast t-shirts – we haven’t done this in awhile – we have some new MuggleCast t-shirt designs and I don’t think we’ve plugged them at all on the show. So, go to MuggleCast.com…

Jamie: We always plug them.

Andrew: …and click on “Store” at the link or “Store” at the top. [laughs] Is it called “store” or “shop”?

Jamie: One of them. It’s one of them.

Andrew: “Store.” It’s called “Store.”

Jamie: Go to either.

Andrew: Pick up one of these great new t-shirt designs. They are really cool. I saw one – I saw the first one at the live Leaky Mug. Someone was wearing it. And it’s very nice. It’s a MuggleCast Crest t-shirt. Then, we also have Lumos shirts up for sale and we’re working on one more design which should be out around Christmas, but for now, purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt today. Help support the show. Thank you very much.

Jamie: I agree.


Episode 57 Update


Andrew: Also, after much skepticism, complaints, barrates, all these, all these, all this – ah, it just hurts so much. Episode 57 is finally released, four weeks late, but, hey. It’s out.

Jamie: It’s still out?

Andrew: It’s a bit of a mess. I had to record the second half of the show again. Well, my voice – because my – I lost the audio file. It’s not a bad show, actually. We didn’t make a news post on MuggleNet. We will with this new episode, but, so check that out. Sorry for the delay.

Laura: Yeah. They made you cry, didn’t they Andrew?

Kevin: Wow.

Andrew: Yeah. All of these people were complaining about how we were just doing it to keep up with PotterCast and all this nonsense.

Jamie: How dare they.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It was just because if you listen to 57 you will see it’s a very dated show. That’s why the title of the show in fact is called MuggleCast 57: This Show is Outdated. So…

[Jamie laughs]

Kevin: Oh. Good title.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] So, Jamie you got this RS…

Kevin: That’s the one we recorded before LA right?

Andrew: Right before the trip.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Chocolate Frogs have…

Andrew: Jamie, you got that…

Jamie: Huh?

Andrew: You got the RSVP thing? That’s yours, right?

Jamie: Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, before I do it, I’d just like to say that Chocolate Frogs have furious fights over who gets to be in the box with a Dumbledore card.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: That was pretty good.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: From Phoebe, 16, from Texas. Thank you.


RSVP


Okay, the RSVP thing. Okay. Somebody, I can’t remember who because the e-mail got deleted and I can’t remember who, so I’m sorry, wrote in to point out that I had been mispronouncing RSVP. Not the actual abbreviation, but the actual thing. I was saying it’s repondez, s’il vous plait [pronounces it “ray-pond-ay see voo play”] and there’s an “s” in there, so it’s respondez s’il vous plait [pronounces it “ray-spond-ay see voo play”]. Well done to them for spotting out my deliberate error and for pointing it out. So, yeah. Well done, because I did do that on purpose just to test who was listening and who was up to scratch on their French.

Kevin: Oh, I’m sure.

Jamie: Oh, by the way, instead of doing an actual segment for the Dumbledore-Chuck Norris facts, I thought I’d just put them in whenever there’s an awkward silence or gap or something like that. So, let me know if you like that more.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.


Listener Rebuttal: The Veil


Andrew: We also have a listener rebuttal this week, and then we’ll get into our main discussion. This comes from Valerie, 16, of New York and she just wanted to clear up a little mistake we made on Episode 58.

“I have a rebuttal regarding the Veil. On Episode 58 you mentioned that Ginny could have heard ‘beyond the veil’ because she saw Riddle die. This theory isn’t possible because a few pages earlier it was stated that she couldn’t see the Thestrals so she couldn’t have seen death.”

A lot of people brought this up to us and its true but the eternal optimist could always say, “Well gee, maybe she’s just pretending.”

Laura: No, Valerie’s right.

Andrew: Yeah, I know. She’s right. [laughs]

Laura: Thank you, Valerie.

Andrew: I’m just trying to cover it. So, with that said…

Jamie: So wait, even the eternal optimist would be screwed in this regard, then, completely? [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie: Couldn’t win.

Andrew: But with that said we should revise the conclusion that we made last week, which is in order to hear voices from the Veil, you have to have seen death.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: But now…yeah. But now the general consensus…

Laura: I disagree.

Andrew: I know.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Wait, you weren’t on the show last week right?

Laura: No, I was.

Andrew: Oh, you were.

Laura: But, you guys kept saying that it was death, and I kept saying that Ginny had never seen anyone die.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: You did say that?

Jamie: She says that now. She says that…

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: Okay!

Andrew: You did not say that.

Laura: Go back and listen to the show.

Andrew: Maybe you did.

Laura: I said Ginny has never seen anyone die, therefore…

Jamie: She’s taking all the credit for Valerie’s hard work, Andrew, here. Oh, shameful.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: When the transcripts released tomorrow, we’ll go back and we’ll take a look and see

Laura: No. I can tell you exactly what I said.

Andrew: She probably did. She probably did.

Laura: I said…

Jamie: Yeah. She probably did, yeah. [laughs]

Laura: …I don’t know if Ginny’s seen anyone die so there’s got to be a different common link between those four people.

Andrew: No one brought up the Thestrals though. That was the mistake that we made, saying that Ginny could see the Thestrals.

Laura: The mistake that you made, not me.

Andrew: Okay. Sorry. [laughs]

Laura: I’m just kidding, Andrew. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So now, thinking about it, it could be a near death experience because Ginny was in a near death experience in the Chamber of Secrets.

Laura: Yeah. That was actually in the Roundup that I posted that one listener thought that because – she thought that maybe it was a traumatic experiences that made them more vulnerable to the Veil’s…

Jamie: Power.

Laura: …attraction.

Micah: So, you’re saying Ron and Hermione have never experienced a traumatic event?

Laura: I’m not saying that. I’m saying listener feedback and see it kind of brings into question what would the level of trauma have to be?

Kevin: Considering…yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s like, “Yeah, Ron, you almost died when you were 11 years old. That doesn’t count.” You know, so…

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]


Main Discussion: Time and the Department of Mysteries


Andrew: Alright. So, this week we are going to talk about the Department – well, no. This is continuing our series about the Department of Mysteries. Today we’re going to be talking about [sings] time. Ben’s not hear to sing it with me either. [chokes up]

Jamie: What song is it?

Laura: You’re all alone Andrew.

Andrew: City of Blinding Lights by U2.

Jamie: Oh.

Laura: Oh boy.

Jamie: Why – what does time have to do with that?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Or is it – or did you just say time in the theme of City of Blinding Lights [laughs]

Andrew: No, no.

Kevin: He applies every word…

Andrew: That’s what we’re talking about. We’re talking about time.

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: And in the song they sing [sings] “Time…”

Jamie: Oh, I see.

Andrew: [sings] “Time will leave me as I am. Time taking the boy out of this man.” Okay. Anyway, Jamie go for it. [laughs]

Jamie: Well, okay. Time is an extremely interesting topic because it has been the subject of, you know, sort of a great deal of science fiction films, fantasy novels, and it’s something that you can’t really explain. It’s very complicated, very intense topic, and even for the most powerful of wizards and witches when messed with, it can have dire consequences. So, and especially when it comes down to the Department of Mysteries and time, because obviously the Ministry of Magic isn’t completely, what’s the word? What’s the opposite of corrupt? Sorry, what’s the opposite of non-corrupt? Corrupt. Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Congratulations, Jamie.

Jamie: Thank you. Thank you. Fine, fine. So, the Ministry of Magic isn’t completely non-corrupt, so you know, time, when placed in the hands of a bad person, like Voldemort, could be very, very deadly. So, let’s talk about time. Let’s start off with our first question.


Does The Ministry Control Time?


Jamie: How much control does the Ministry have over time, and time meddling, more specifically? And the first bit of that is, it took a long, long time for Hermione to get the Time Turner in The Prisoner of Azkaban. And it seems, because of this, that the Ministry has strict controls, but maybe, like the other Ministry-related things, they are open to outside control. What do you guys think?

Laura: Well, do you think that they were monitoring anything that Hermione was doing with the Time Turner? Because…

Jamie: You mean like tracking what she was doing?

Laura: Yeah, because it seems like if they really wanted to make sure that it wasn’t being abused…

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: …they would, but at the same time, no one’s ever said anything to the trio about going back and saving Sirius.

Jamie: Well, exactly. You’d think that they’d restrict it so she couldn’t just go back ten years and change stuff that she wanted to, but I’m sure they wouldn’t allow her to go back and rescue Sirius, as you say, so perhaps they don’t. Perhaps the tests are, before she gets it, and then once they’re satisfied she won’t use it for anything bad, they give her free reign over it. Although, that does seem a bit, you know, reckless.

Laura: It’s kind of dangerous, though.

Jamie: It is.

Laura: But, I mean again, it’s something they would do.

Jamie: [coughs] Yeah, no, it is.

Micah: I’m actually rereading Prisoner of Azkaban right now, but I don’t remember. Does the Ministry know that she has the Time Turner?

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: Yeah, she said that McGonagall had to write tons and tons of letters to get it for her.

Andrew: So maybe they just have to convince them – well, McGonagall just had to convince the Ministry that she could be trusted enough to do this.

Kevin: Now do you think the Ministry is only one with Time Turners?

Jamie: Well, exactly. They’re like – surely you can get one. You can’t, you know….

Kevin: See…

Jamie: And where do they get them from? Do they make them? Or are they natural?

Kevin: You see the thing is, is…

Laura: [laughs] What, do they just pop out of the ground, Jamie?

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Like flowers?

Jamie: Yes, yes.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: They grow on trees.

Jamie: They have Time Turner trees and you just pluck one off and wind it back and you’re fine.

Andrew: When it’s ripe, of course.


Kevin’s Analysis of Time Travel


Kevin: You see…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …the thing is about the Time Turner that I never really liked, was that they were able to see themselves in the past. If you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Which…

Jamie: No, but that…

Andrew: Why don’t you like it?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: It, well…

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Explain, Kevin.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: The reason why I don’t like it is this: If you in the – when you’re visualizing time, if you go back in time, right? And kill yourself, right?

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: You would never have had the opportunity to go back in time in the first place. And, therefore, you…

Jamie: No, Kevin, stop trying to show off, okay?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Anyone can get this from…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: …Wikipedia, okay? It has nothing to do with it.

Laura: Well, that’s why… That’s why you don’t go back in time and kill yourself. [laughs] That’s why you don’t do that.

Kevin: No, but what I’m saying is…

Laura: You can’t.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. The point you’re trying to say is, you can’t go back in time and kill yourself because you could – because if you went back in time and killed yourself, you couldn’t go back in time and kill yourself.

Kevin: Exactly.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: And then you’d…

Jamie: But that has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter.

Kevin: No, no, I make a point. This is my point.

Laura: That’s not necessarily true, though. I mean…

Jamie: It is, it is. Of course it is.

Laura: …it depends on what the limitations on time are. No because, in the books, doesn’t it work in a loop? It would just keep going and going and going.

Jamie: No, but if you decided now to go back ten years…

Laura: Like the Energizer Bunny.

Jamie: Huh? [laughs]

Kevin: Okay, how about this?

Jamie: Just like the Energizer Bunny.

Kevin: Instead of saying, kill yourself. If your going back in time results in your death indirectly…

Jamie: Then…

Kevin: …it becomes a paradox.

Jamie: …it precludes your existence, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. And what I’m saying is, are even the dark wizards willing to go back in time, knowing the risks involved in doing so?

Jamie: But Kevin, Kevin, you can’t – if you go back in time, yeah? Then – and then you can’t die, because if you died, then you wouldn’t be there to go back in time. So, your mission is automatically a success if you go back in time. Do you see what I mean? Well, no it’s not automatically a success but you come back, you definitely come back.

Kevin: It depends on your view of time. If it’s a linear time…

Jamie: No…

Kevin: …as opposed to a quantum time where there’s…

Jamie: Yeah I definitely… Right, you’ve lost me absolutely completely already.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: What I’m saying is, there’s different ways of viewing time. One in a linear fashion or one in, like, the quantum physics fashion, where by going back in time you have just created a new timeline where different things can happen.

Jamie: Oh right. I see.

Kevin: So…

Laura: That what I’m saying, though. I mean, I’m kind of under the impression that time in Harry Potter is circular. Like, for instance…

Kevin: Is like linear? Where…

Laura: Well, okay, let me explain. You know how in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie and I think – I don’t often like to cite the movies because I often feel that they’re incorrect. But you know how at the end when Harry and Hermione come running back and they open the doors and they see themselves disappear?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I believe that the versions of themselves that just disappeared would come running back again and see themselves disappear again, like it keeps going and going and going.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Ohhh…

Laura: So, even if you do kill yourself, it just happens over and over and over again.

Kevin: Which is a paradox again.

Jamie: But surely, Kevin. Surely, Kevin, the time in Harry Potter is one where you don’t create a new timeline because Dumbledore says that they’ve got to be back in the hospital wing at a certain time to replace the ones that have just gone. So, surely, when Dumbledore turned after he sent Harry and Hermione off to do the thing, he just turned around and they were there and it had been a success already. Isn’t that right?

Kevin: But by different timeline I mean the affected events so, therefore, there is a universe in which they did not go back in time or, in which, Sirius died and then there’s a universe…

Laura: That’s interesting.

Kevin: …in which Sirius survived. That’s…

Laura: Let’s discuss this. Do you think that Harry will visit some sort of alternate universe, where things are different?

Kevin: I think that would be a far stretch for the Harry Potter books.

Andrew: A parallel universe? Tell us abut parallel universes, Kevin.

Kevin: Uh, let’s not. [laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no. He told us about those in Vegas, remember?

Andrew: Yeah, that was a lot of fun hearing about that.

Kevin: I did.


Would Dark Wizards Use Time Travel?


Kevin: But what I’m saying is, my point is…is… Do you think that dark wizards are – would avoid time and time travel because of the implications of making a mistake?

Laura: Well, it depends. I think that Voldemort would avoid it.

Jamie: No. No, Voldemort, yeah.

Laura: But I think he would make people do it for him.

Kevin: Yeah, but even…

Jamie: Yeah, it’s too powerful for him to…

Kevin: But even then you have to realize you can, you can catch yourself and you can catch, like, time itself in a loop where nothing…

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: …will move forward.

Laura: I mean, if one of his followers screwed up…

Kevin: Exactly, so do you think that Voldemort would actually be willing to take the risk of…

Laura: Hmmm.

Jamie: I think he – I think he’d trust it to some people.


Who Does Regulate Time?


Laura: I think that kind of brings us back to, who does regulate time? You know?

Andrew: It’s got to be the Ministry.

Jamie: You can’t regulate it, really.

Laura: That’s the thing. You almost wonder if anyone has any sort of view, you know, of what’s going on. If Voldemort would be able to know what was going on, if he would be able to somehow direct a person who had gone back in time to do something. You know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s difficult.

Jamie: It is difficult.

Laura: You can’t exactly send someone a letter telling them what to do if
they’ve gone back in time.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s true.

[Jamie and Kevin laugh]

Laura: [laughs] I think we’re confusing ourselves.

Kevin: Well, it’s a very confusing subject.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.


Repercussions of Going Back in Time


Kevin: And also, is there a limitation on how far back in time you can go?

Laura: I don’t think so. I never got that impression.

Jamie: I have.

Kevin: So, you’re saying that Hermione could have taken the Time Turner,
flipped the Time Turner a million times…

Jamie: A million times.

Andrew: [laughs] See dinosaurs.

Kevin: …gone back to right before Harry’s parents were killed and saved their lives?

Jamie: Yeah. No. Well, yes, she could have done.

Laura: Well, not necessarily save their lives, but then again she’d have to
live through those sixteen, or thirteen, fourteen years. She couldn’t just, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly, she couldn’t – you can’t go forward in time. But
I’m under the impression she couldn’t do that because if she’d done that Harry’s parents would be alive now. I know that you’re saying that you have
different timelines, but…

Laura: Yeah. It’s hypothetical, though.

Jamie: …I don’t think that’s the case in Harry Potter.

Laura: I think Kevin’s just trying to make a point.

Jamie: Yeah, but…

Kevin: Yeah, my point is, is that the repercussions of changing anything in
the past are so great that, you know, the smallest thing…

Jamie: It’s smart to not do it.

Kevin: If you push one person out of the way of a moving car, right, that person surviving could change everything.

Jamie: Everything could change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could go on a… Yeah.
yeah.


Did The Trio’s Time Travel Affect The Future?


Laura: Well, do you think that maybe the trio accidentally changed something that seemed so minute in the third book and it’s going to come up in the seventh book, and it’s going to make everything even more difficult?

Andrew: Like what?

Laura: I’m just… I don’t have any specific examples, I’m just saying, Kevin brings up a good…

Andrew: Instead of turning the light off they left it on?

Laura: Yeah, you know, something just…

Andrew: The light bulb bursts, and someone…

Kevin: Someone didn’t trip, didn’t hit their head…

Andrew: …has to go out and change the light bulb, which triggered Draco. Oh, come on, I was on a roll, Kevin. But there’s no light bulbs at Hogwarts, so that sort of doesn’t work out. So…

Laura: [laughs] What?

[Andrew, Kevin, Laura laugh]


More Monitoring Time


Jamie: Should we move on to the next one? Can’t they monitor when someone
has changed time or have we done that? Perhaps, actually, think about it. Would you think that’s, like they can tell where magic has been…

Kevin: Like a resonance that leaves some sort of…

Jamie: …was being done, but they can’t tell who by. Yeah, yeah. Perhaps it’s that they can monitor that somebody has gone back but and done something, but they can’t tell what. So, when they see Hermione going back in Prisoner of Azkaban, they just think that it’s her going back to do her lessons, rather than…

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Jamie: But wait a minute…

Andrew: But wouldn’t they be able to watch or something?

Jamie: Well, I guess so, but…

Laura: That’d be kind of creepy, though.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Because that would mean that they would be watching her all the time…

Andrew: Well, that’s just one of the…

Laura: …which is gross.

Andrew: …one of the rules you have to deal with.

Jamie: You can tune in to channel 415: Hermione. Like cable.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Whenever they feel like it, Jamie?

Jamie: Whenever they feel like it.

[Laura laughs]


Hermione’s Time Travel


Jamie: But wouldn’t she be going to – wouldn’t she be going to one class twice? So, say if at 10:00 AM – no, say if at 9. Actually, no. Yeah, say if at 9:00 AM she’s got Muggle Studies, yeah?

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: And at 9:00 AM she’s got Arithmancy. If she went back in time to go to Arithmancy, wouldn’t she be void…

Laura: Then she’s in Muggle Studies again.

Jamie: No. No, no, no, she wouldn’t be in Muggle Studies, though, because she’d be in Arithmancy. So, as Kevin says, there have got to be two, two different things of time, but…

Laura: Oh my god, this is so confusing. [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: They aren’t parallel, they’ve got to…

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying, yeah.

Jamie: …catch up at some point. See what I mean? Because if she goes back in time to go to one at 9:00 AM she can’t be in two places at once, so she’s got to be missing from one, unless it’s two different periods of time. Does that make sense?

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, but remember what, remember what Harry and Ron were saying. They saw they saw her in class. So what she probably did was, she went to class, went back in time and went to another class, so she technically was in two places at once, until the point at which she had used it.

Jamie: At which they coincide. Yeah.

Kevin: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not sure about that because if say she weren’t in one class whenever she went to the other, there’d be no point in saying you can’t be seen. You know?

Jamie: Well, yeah, I guess, but…

Laura: You’re still going to run across yourself. Wasn’t there one point in
the book where Hermione was walking with them and she suddenly disappeared
and was at the bottom…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Laura: …of the stairs?

Kevin: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: You think she’d be a bit more subtle instead of just walking along
and disappear, you know?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You’d think she’d go into the toilet like Superman and turn the Time Turner.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: Yeah, but what if they had just run across one of her past selves? And if she just disappeared?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, or…

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Jamie: …or if she’s – this can’t go into the show, really, but if
she goes into the toilet and she turns the time back and somebody’s in there taking a [bleep].

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: She just lands on top of them.

[Everyone laughs]


Back to Monitoring Time


Micah: But I don’t think they can monitor the changing of time just because
they would be able to know exactly what happened that night. They know that
Sirius was freed somehow…

Kevin: It’s true, yeah.

Micah: …and if they knew…

Andrew: Well, that’s what I was thinking…

Micah: Sorry.

Andrew: No, you can finish.

Laura: Well, clearly the Ministry doesn’t know because Fudge had no clue. He was just pointing fingers. So…

Micah: [laughs] Fudge never has a clue.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: I know, but [sighs] if the Ministry did know, then Fudge would know, you know? They would obviously tell him, hopefully.

Micah: But there was Ministry presence that was there, though, wasn’t there that night?

Laura: Ummm…

Micah: Because the Dementors were going to perform the Kiss.

Laura: Well, Fudge was there.

Micah: Right.

Laura: Fudge came.

Micah: So, you would think that if they knew Hermione used the Time Turner at this time during the day to go back in time…

Laura: Exactly.

Micah: …that they would have connected the two events.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Laura: So, obviously, they can’t even monitor when she uses it.

Jamie: No, yeah.

Micah: Maybe that’s part of why it’s so…

Andrew: Dangerous.

Jamie: Dangerous.

Micah: …such a problem to entrust it into even a student that is under the watch of professors.

Andrew: I don’t know. I just think if they’re issued by the Ministry, you would think they would take the responsibility of tracking what people are doing with them.

Jamie: You would hope so, yeah.

Andrew: I doubt when they were trying to figure out how Sirius escaped, I don’t think the first thing they checked was Hermione’s Time Turner.

Laura: No, but then again…

Andrew: And she wouldn’t be as looked at.

Laura: …this is the same group of people that put Dementors as guards on a prison, you know? Creatures that are known to serve Lord Voldemort, they’re putting in charge of his followers. It just doesn’t seem like they’d be all that intelligent when it came to how they ran things.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: Especially time.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, I mean, that would explain why they wouldn’t check Hermione’s Time Turner.

Laura: Yeah. Well, I’m not sure you can check, though. I’m just not sure I believe that it’s like you can log into whatever and check to see Hermione changed time at 4:52 PM, you know?

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Andrew: Well, maybe not, but, I don’t know. You can track magic – well, we’ll get into this more later when talk about how…

Laura: Oh my god, my head is spinning. [laughs]

Andrew: I think it’s going good. So just…


Can Anyone Change Time?


Jamie: Okay. Number two: Can anyone with the right tools change time, or do you need magic in you, like you need magic when using a wand, because the wand just channels the magic?

Laura: We had an – Andrew and I had an interesting discussion about this the other day.

Andrew: And then I stopped it because I was like, “Save it for the show!”

[Kevin, Laura, and Andrew laugh]

Laura: Yeah. No, basically we were kind of talking about, could a Muggle or a squib use a Time Turner? Because I’m not necessarily sure they could, but my point was that a wand isn’t really a source of magic. It channels the magic from its owner. A Time Turner is actually magical itself. So, would…

Jamie: Well, we think it is.

Laura: Well, it’s got to be. It’s changing time, it’s not the wizard that’s changing time. Well, I mean the wizard does, but…

Jamie: No, but it could be magic that’s put into it.

Andrew: The wizard could be – right, right. The same way a wand is.

Laura: No, but that’s not true, though. Because remember in Order of the Phoenix whenever they knocked over the Time Turners, and they kept reappearing and falling back over by themselves? So, it wasn’t magic that was put into them.

Jamie: No, that could just be…

Laura: They were fixing themselves and breaking again.

Andrew: There has to be some magic in them, but you might also need the wizard’s magic. Which I thought that’s what you were telling me the other day.

Laura: No, no, no. I was saying you need a wizard’s magic to use a wand.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: But I’m not necessarily sure you need a wizard’s magic to use a Time Turner.

Micah: When you say, “change time,” do you mean specifically with a Time Turner or is there another way that you’re talking about?

Laura: Well, we know that – we’ve seen another method of time in the Department of Mysteries where that one Death Eater fell into the bell jar and it caused his head to become that of a baby’s. And was kind of different because it wasn’t really changing time, it was…

Micah: Changing bodies.

Kevin: Reverting, yeah.

Laura: Making him younger.

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it was making him younger and it was also a lot faster. Whereas with the Time Turner you actually have to live back through all of those events over again. With the bell jar he was going back and forth between being a baby and being a Death Eater within seconds.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Well, I think if a Muggle or a squib got a hold of a Time Turner, and they just turned it a little bit, something might happen.

Jamie: This is so tough, this stuff.

Kevin: It really is, yeah.

Laura: I know! Now I know how…

Jamie: I need some infantile humor to take away from the seriousness.

Laura: Do you remember… [laughs] If you’ll remember on the Prisoner of Azkaban DVD where Alfonso Cuaron was trying to explain the whole time cycle and he couldn’t?

Jamie: Oh, really?

Laura: Now I know how he feels.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Because it’s like…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: He’s only done Spanish movies, so we’ve got to give him something.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Wasn’t Jo sitting with him or was that a separate interview?

Laura: Yeah. Yeah, Jo was sitting with him.

Andrew: Did she try and explain it at all?

Laura: No. She just looked at him and she was like, “Yeah, yeah, it is very hard.” [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: “Oh, thanks.” [laughs]

Laura: [laughs] She basically gave him that look like, “Um, yeah.”

Andrew: I wonder if the bell jar, like…how does it…the baby. How young was the baby? Was it a week old, a month old?

Laura: I don’t know, it just said “baby.”

Andrew: What determines – yeah. What determines how far back it brings you?

Laura: Well, apparently, I mean, we saw in the bell jar that there was – wasn’t there an egg in there and as it floated to the top it turned into a bird or something, and then as it went back down to the bottom it would turn back into an egg. So, I think it probably takes you back to the earliest form of life, I suppose.

Jamie: No, because the earliest form of life for a baby is…

Laura: I knew this was coming! I knew this was coming!

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Well, it’s true!

Laura: I didn’t want to bring this up because then it gets into the whole topic of when does life start, and we don’t need to go there.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, true, fair point.


Evolution


Andrew: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Jamie: Andrew, there is an easy answer to this. It’s clearly the egg.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Because evolution says that there has to be something before a chicken, before something evolved into a chicken. So, the one stage before a chicken, that thing laid an egg, and then that hatched into a chicken.

[Kevin and Micah laugh]

Andrew: But what laid an egg?

Jamie: That’s why we – huh? A chicken minus one.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, that’s like saying a mother came along and gave birth to Adam and Eve.

Laura: No, no, no, no, it’s not.

Jamie: No, it’s not, it’s not.

Laura: No, he’s right. He’s right, Andrew. Whatever came before the chicken, whatever the chicken’s ancestor is, laid the egg and the evolution over time brought us to the chicken.

Jamie: Hey, look. Andrew.

Andrew: You guys are such dorks.

Jamie: Andrew.

Andrew: Because anyone else you ask that, they’re just like, “Oh, I don’t know.”

Jamie: Andrew?

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Look at it like this. If you have, “What came first, the snake or the egg?” Okay? The egg came first because a snake with one leg laid an egg and then that hatched into a snake with no legs, which is really a snake. Whereas the snake with one leg isn’t really a snake. Do you see?

Andrew: Uhhh… [laughs]

Laura: What we’re saying is…

Kevin: It’s all based on evolution.

Laura: Yeah, if you think about it, humans are slowly evolving. I mean, it’s so minimal that each generation has, you know, some sort of small change to them, but it’s so, just, minimal that you can’t even notice it. Isn’t there some sort of prediction that eventually, humans are going to no longer have their pinky finger? One day? We’re just…

Jamie: I hope not.

Laura: [laughs]Humans are only going to have four fingers.

Kevin: Oh, that would stink.

Laura: So it’s like, saying, you know, over time, like for instance, the mother who had a centimeter of her pinky finger that gave birth to the child with no pinky finger. You know what I’m saying?

Andrew: Well, that’s like people saying about your appendix. People think that that it used to be a second stomach? Ever hear that one?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: That would have been awesome.

Jamie: You’d get to Subway and then go back.

Laura: Now it’s just…

Jamie: Now it’s…

Andrew: Ready to cause appendicitis.

Laura: Burst.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. [laughs] But anyway. What purpose does…

Laura: [laughs] How did we get…

Andrew: From the chicken to the egg.

Kevin: This came from the chicken to the egg floating to the top and then the bird floats up.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah, okay.

Kevin: Yeah, but…


The Bell Jar


Jamie: Let’s move from the bell jar and move to number four, will…

Andrew: Well, hold on. What purpose does the bell jar serve?

Kevin: I think the bell jar was just an…

Laura: It was just research.

Kevin: Yeah, it was just an experiment.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Kevin: And the only reason why it went back as far as it did, back to the egg, is just probably the way they set up the experiment.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Well, they probably – what they’re trying to do is probably monitor time change in a very fast setting.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: So they don’t have to sit there and watch, you know, a chicken take four weeks to grow.

Kevin: Yeah.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Or maybe they did it in case the parents didn’t take a picture of the baby…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …as a newborn. So, they charge a small fee and you can…

Jamie: Or they’d forgotten what their first word was, so…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: So, they were like, “let’s just chuck you back into time and we’ll see what you said.”

Andrew: [laughs] Uh huh. All right, so moving along here.


Will Time Feature in Book Seven?


Jamie: Okay. Number four: Will time feature in Book Seven? Will the trio use it again to right an injustice? How far back in time would the trio go in order to change something? This goes back to what we were talking about. I don’t think they’d ever dare go back to when Harry’s parents were alive.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: Yeah, and that’s what I was saying about even dark wizards. I don’t think anyone would even risk the repercussions that it’d result from.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: It’s too unreliable. Way too unreliable.

Kevin: They… The further you go back, the more that things can change from a single action.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: You know? Because it grows off of itself. So…

Laura: Yeah, but that’s why I was kind of bringing up, what if they do something so seemingly…

Kevin: Well, technically they did.

Laura: Yeah, but what if it’s something so seemingly unimportant while they were changing time, that it’s going to come back and bite them in the butt, you know?

Kevin: Well, it really won’t matter because they never had a perspective on what was going to happen in the future anyway. What I’m saying is if you are here now, and you go back five years, a subtle change there can change the here and now largely.

Jamie: Of course, yeah.

Laura: Oh god.

Kevin: Because they only went back a couple hours, when they did end up getting to their current time, the time at which they had gone back, it didn’t – nothing major had changed. And that’s good. But what I’m saying is if you go back further than that, if you go back years or, you know, hundreds of years…

Jamie: Millenniums.

Kevin: …the slightest… Exactly.

Laura: Mhm. Oh, yeah, it’s a huge risk.

Kevin: Then the slightest change – one life can make a huge change, to the point where when you catch up to the current time, things can be completely different.

Laura: Oh, man.

Andrew: Yeah. It always scares me, like what if there was no Thomas Edison? What if there’s no Al Gore?

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: What happens if there was no Bono? Andrew?

Andrew: What if there’s no… No. I can’t even think about that.

Micah: But Book Seven, yeah, I don’t think time is going to factor in at all. I think we saw it in Book Three and…

Laura: I don’t know though, I don’t agree!

Micah: They’re not going to pull out a Time Turner and be like, “Oh, let’s go back in time five minutes….”

Laura: I don’t think so though.

Micah: “…and make sure that Dawlish dies.”

Kevin: There’s too many questions regarding it.

Laura: I think there has to – something has to happen with it. It might not be… I don’t know. I just think that time is too important in these books not to have a place in Book Seven.

Micah: But I think it’s a cop out at the same time, to think that they’re going to be able to back in time and correct an event that takes place.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: No, I don’t think they’re going to go back and correct a major event, but I think that there’s going to have to be some sort of study of time. It just seems interesting to me. You know, JK Rowling put – I don’t even know why I’m calling her that. Jo put a huge emphasis on time in the Department of Mysteries. She had them in that room two or three times, didn’t she? I just don’t think… I think that Harry is going to go back to the Department of Mysteries. I think he’s going to study the Veil, I think he’s going to study time, and I think he’s going to get behind that door.

Andrew: Why study that stuff, though, unless you absolutely need it?

Laura: Because it’s important.

Micah: So, you think he’s going to go to the Department of Mysteries and say, “Hey, I’m here to study the Veil. You mind letting me in.”

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Micah: And he’s going to go downstairs, take out his book, and start writing with his quill?

Kevin: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: I don’t think it’s that kind of study. I think he’s going to come back and actually have to do something with that. I think he’s going to have to find out exactly what these things are. She would not have introduced us to this place if we weren’t going to learn
about it.

Jamie: Could they solve absolutely everything, like, eliminate the conflict, by going back in time and stopping Snape from overhearing the prophecy?

Laura: I don’t think they would.

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying…

Jamie: Too risky, like I said.

Laura: Yeah, I agree with Kevin here, I don’t think they would.

Kevin: You can’t predict what’s going to happen by doing that, and I think it would really screw things up. It would not result in the – in the same, you know, outcome, and it would… Obviously, it would not result in the same outcome, and things would be really screwed up. But, for all you know, by not letting Snape hear the prophecy, something else happens that results in Harry’s death.

Jaime: Yeah.

Kevin: And then…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …oops, now you have Voldemort running around without Harry to stop him.

Jamie: Well, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Micah: Well, plus you have to live through 16 years of…

Kevin: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Kevin: And by the time you catch up to yourself, you’re not even going to know what’s going on. So…

Micah: And, do you age? That’s another question: do you age in time? Like, will he – would he be 16 years older than he initially was?

Andrew: When he – when he went back?

Jamie: No.

Kevin: So, he would go back in time at 16 and then…

Laura: I don’t see how time could stop you from – I mean, it’s time.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s still moving.

Laura: You can’t stop yourself from aging.

Kevin: So he would arrive at 32?

Micah: So if he went back to that – the night of the prophecy. Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Basically, like, let’s say that Hermione goes back 100 years, she’s going to die before she gets back to where she was.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: I know that’s not… [laughs] It isn’t a cheerful thought, but…

Kevin: So, does she stop existing at the time she went back? That’s the question.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: If she…

Laura: Kevin, you’re twisting my brain here. I can’t…

Kevin: In…in…

Laura: I can’t do this.

Kevin:The Prisoner of Azkaban, if they replace themselves that went back in time, doesn’t that mean that she’ll never catch up to herself that goes back in time, so she’ll just die and stop existing?

Jamie: I don’t know. That’s too complicated, far too complicated. But, the one thing I do know is that the only time Dumbledore was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.

[Andrew, Kevin, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Thank you, Austin, 15, from Texas.

Andrew: That wasn’t an awkward moment. Kevin was on a roll there.

Kevin: I was on a roll.

Andrew: Why’d you break it?

Jamie: Oh, no, he was on a roll, sorry. I just… Oh, no, no…

Kevin: Way to go.

Jamie: It isn’t only – it doesn’t only have to an awkward moment, I just thought that it seemed like a nice time for it. I’m sorry, Kevin.

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Go on, go on.

Kevin: Oh, I’m good now.

Jamie: This time stuff is so complicated.

Kevin: Yeah, I think we’re making – we’re going to make everyone sick.

Andrew: It doesn’t matter, though. It’s, it’s going pretty well.

Jamie: Okay, should we move – should we skip out four?

Kevin: We’re…you know what we’re going to do?

Jamie: Should we skip that one?

Kevin: We’re going to cause a number of accidents…

Laura: I know.

Kevin: …because people will be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …concentrating on time so much, they won’t be concentrating on driving while listening to us, and they’re just going to start hitting other…

Jamie: But then, we could just go back in time and save them.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Oh, that’s true. Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Just go back in time and not record the show, and then they’ll be fine, so it’s okay.

Kevin: You’re right, yep.


Why Can’t You Be Seen Traveling Back in Time?


Jamie: Okay, number five: Why is it so important that you are not seen when traveling back in time? And is it that you can’t be seen at all, or just not by yourself? I actually saw a TV program a few years ago, where you could go back in time, and see yourself, but you couldn’t touch yourself. And if you touched yourself, it caused like a…an…a universal paradox…

Kevin: It’s a paradox.

Jamie: …and the entire universe exploded.

Laura: I think what it is, you can see your past self…

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Your past self. Yeah, yeah.

Laura: …and other people can see you, but your past self can’t see your future, you know what I’m saying? Because, like, the trio all saw their…

Micah: Yeah, there’s no way…

Laura: …past selves whenever they went back, and obviously tons of other people saw…

Micah: There’s just no way that they didn’t see her.

Laura: …Hermione’s…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …multiple personalities wandering around the school.

Kevin: I thought that they described some of the consequences. Wasn’t it that, like, you can’t predict what you…

Jamie: You go mad, yeah.

Andrew: How? If you know you have the other Time Turner, then…

Kevin: Yeah, you can’t predict what the other person…

Andrew: And you see…

Kevin: Yeah, well, well that’s one thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: But you can’t really predict – for example, if Harry had seen himself, prior to knowing there was a Time Turner, what is Harry going to think?

Jamie: Yeah. His dad, maybe again, just like when he saw himself.

Kevin: Yeah, right. Either that or kill him.

Laura: Right, Jamie, what would you do if [laughs] you saw yourself walk into a room?

Jamie: I would challenge myself to an arm wrestle, and then see who wins.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That would be awesome.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Challenge myself to a fight.

Kevin: Yeah, but see, the problem is that…

Andrew: Would either win?

Kevin: …other people can look like you…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: …by using…

Micah: Yeah, what if…

Jamie: Yeah, but not identical.

Kevin: Yes, but that’s what I’m saying. I mean, look at, look at Moody. He was Moody, everyone knew him as Moody, but he wasn’t.

Micah: Yeah, but what happens if…

Kevin: So, if Harry saw himself…

Jamie: Oh, you mean so if… Yeah.

Kevin: …the first thing he’s going to assume is that someone disguised as – exactly. Pull out his wand and try to kill him, so now you just killed yourself in the future. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: I think it would be a bit hasty to just kill him.

Kevin: I don’t know, I mean you can’t predict your reaction to seeing yourself.

Andrew: Well, I mean, in Hermione’s case, if the rule – if she said the rule was, “I’m not allowed to let the other version of myself see me,” but if you know you have a Time Turner…

Laura: Maybe it’s a little different, then. But, I mean, Dumbledore continually said, “You can’t be seen.”

Andrew: I guess that makes sense if people see two of you, because…

Laura: So, obviously…

Andrew: …maybe the Ministry doesn’t want anyone knowing who has Time Turners, because then, like, say Malfoy could… If Malfoy…

Laura: Yeah, but can you imagine…

Andrew: Hold on, if Malfoy knew that Hermione had a Time Turner, Malfoy could get Hermione to maybe take him back in time to, you know, change something to cause some sort of damage.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Andrew: I’m saying just a little incident…

Laura: Yeah, but can you imagine, like…

Andrew: …in the past day, not like, you know…

Laura: I’m just not even sure that Hermione could even, even if you have a Time-Turner, that you should be seeing your future self, because what would Hermione have done if she’d seen herself rescuing someone that she thought was a criminal? Because obviously, if her past, you know, if her past self had seen her future self saving Sirius Black, she would’ve been like, “What was I thinking?” [laughs] or, “What will I be thinking?”

Micah: No… What if it’s event specific? And think about the people that are involved. When it’s going on during school hours and most likely people know, at least among the teachers, that she’s using it, there wouldn’t be any cause for concern, but think of all the people that are involved in the situation when she goes back in time at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

Micah: Would you really want somebody like Snape seeing you, would you want somebody…

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Micah: …like Wormtail seeing you?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Because what use would you have for going back in time at that situation? And they’re going to immediately assume that you’re going to – you’re changing something for the better or for your own reasons, and I’m sure that’s not going to fly with the Ministry.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: So, I think it’s just a – just the repercussions of, you know, possibly changing things or seeing yourself out of context and doing something drastic.

Laura: I think our brains have all been appropriately twisted now.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Kevin: If you aren’t bleeding from the ears yet, you will be.

Andrew:

[says in strange voice] Well, for more on time…

Jamie: For more on time, go to Level
Nine
on MuggleNet, which I thought was pretty comprehensive, but after talking about it on the show, I realize it barely skims the surface. But still go there anyway.

Andrew: Maybe you should provide a link on Level Nine to this episode of MuggleCast.

Jamie: I should. It is Mugglenet.com/LevelNine, I think. Let me just check that quickly.

Kevin: Is nine spelled out or…?

Andrew: Yeah, it’s “slash” LevelNine. It’s spelled out.


Laura Mallory: Second Try


Andrew: Guys, last week we tried to give Laura Mallory a call and we asked if maybe…

Jamie: Did we?

Andrew: Yeah, we did. And no answer; we got the voicemail, said, “Your call is very important to us,” Ben left a message, asked for her to call us back and no response, so…

Laura: Imagine that.

Andrew: Let’s try giving her a call one more time and – give her a call one more time and see if maybe she answers this time.

Jamie: Yeah, let’s do it.

Andrew: She’s in [using incorrect pronunciation] Decatur…Decatur…Decatur, Georgia?

Laura: [using correct pronunciation] It’s Decatur. Decatur.

[laughs and mocks Andrew’s incorrect pronunciation] Decatur.

Andrew: Her number is, for anyone at home who wants to give her a call…

Laura: Andrew! Don’t do that.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Now, you guys can’t talk to her because we’re on speakerphone. She’s not going to answer.

Laura: I would laugh if she did.

Andrew: Shhh, shhh.

Kevin: I know, she’s going to pick up. It’s…

Andrew: Shut up! Shut up!

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew…

[Phone ringing]

Jamie: Just be polite, whatever you do.

Answering Machine: Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Andrew: Oh. Oh, jeez.

Answering Machine: Laura Mallory is not available. At the tone…

Andrew: That’s a different number.

Answering Machine: …please leave a message. When you are finished recording or press one for
more options.

Laura: Is that her cell phone?

Andrew: Yeah. Shhh! [leaving message] Hi, Laura. This is Andrew Sims, from MuggleCast. I just wanted to ask you a couple questions about your concerns with the Harry Potter series. You talked to my associate, Ben, last week. Well, he left you a message on your phone at home and he said – well, in your voicemail it says that your call is very important to us, but unfortunately, we didn’t get a call back.

Laura: [laughs throughout call] So stupid.

Andrew: So, we’d like to have a small interview with you on our show. It gets about a million listeners a week, so, you know, it’d be – it’d be a big-time interview. So, give me a call back. The number is 609-668… Thanks. Bye.

Andrew: Well.

Jamie: Not bad, not bad. Very professional. Very professional, Andrew.

Kevin: That was fun.

Andrew: [sighs] It’s very upsetting.

Laura: We have about a million listeners a week?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I just… I want to I want to make it a hot sell, you know what I’m saying?


California Reminiscing


Andrew: Now, Jamie, you weren’t on the show last week.

Jamie: Yeah. I know.

Andrew: And we did have a little discussion about our time in California. Do you have anything to add, perhaps?

Jamie: Yeah. Well, I don’t – I don’t want to repeat what everyone else has said, but I’m sure the word “awesome” has come up a lot of times from what other people have said, and you’d all be right if you called it awesome. It was absolutely awesome. It was…

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: Yeah, it was fantastic. And the – the Leaky Mug, sorry, not the Leaky Mug, I don’t know what I’m talking about. The time at Santa Monica Beach was so, so, so, so good. I felt a peace with nature there, you know?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Especially when you made contact with the water.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. I did, I did. Well, you see, what happened was, you know, people were going in left, right, and center. John had gone, Andrew had gone, you’d gone. And Ben just said to me, “Right, you’re going in.: Now, instead of argue – arguing with him, and he is quite a bit bigger than me, so he could’ve just picked me up and thrown me in and I’d have ruined my cell phone and everything, I just said, “All right, Ben, I’m going in.” So I took my phone out of my pocket, took my – took my wallet out and all my bucks, man, put them down and Ben just picked me up and threw me in the water, and it was freezing. Absolutely freezing.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, it was awesome. Absolutely awesome.

Andrew: So…

Jamie: And the – Podcast Awards were very cool as well. I felt very proud being there and picking up that award and the microphone and…

Laura: Proud and excited.

Jamie: And, yeah, very proud and excited. And there was a party going on all day with cake and, you know…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Cake and… Cake and fruit punch.

Jamie: Cake and fruit punch, yeah. And it was awesome. And the Leaky Mug went very well, as well. It was great to meet everyone out there and I actually got – thank you very much to the people who all got me Lucky Charms.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I ended up with like, five boxes of them. So, it was a feast that evening at the Leaky Mug room.

Kevin: Did you get those on your plane? Did they allow all that stuff?

Jamie: Yeah, I did. Well, well, we ate quite a few, you know, there and then, but I put the other ones in my suitcase and I still got some left over, which is quite cool. And thank you for all the other presents, as well. And just – LA is an amazing place, and I had a really, really good time there, so thank you to everyone. And it was great to see you guys.

Andrew: Awww, thanks.

Micah: Didn’t you meet somebody?

Jamie: Did I meet somebody?

Micah: Didn’t you meet somebody you’ve been waiting to meet for a long time? At Disneyworld? Disneyland?

Jamie: No, I didn’t meet him, did I? I didn’t meet him. He was gone.

Andrew: We only saw him once and he was and he was very busy. So…

Jamie: He was having a day off.

Micah: Once?

Andrew: Are you talking about Mickey, Jamie? Or Micah?

Micah: You didn’t meet him?

Jamie: Yeah, we’re talking about Mickey.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Are we talking about Mickey?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Micah: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, no. He…he… Oh, no, I think I waved at him and he waved at me back, but to be fair, though, I was slightly disappointed. I was hoping for a hug, a handshake, and a…


Listener Rebuttal: Ghosts and The Veil


Andrew: Another listener rebuttal we got this week. It comes from Ryan, 21, of State College, PA. He writes, “Micah…”

[Pause]

Micah: Yeah?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “You seem to be one of the most active on this topic, so I figured I would just send this one to you. Jo said there weren’t executions, just studying death. Is it possible that the observers were studying ghosts that came out of the Veil? Is the Veil the gateway back to Earth if you choose to be a ghost? We’re supposed to figure out more about the Veil and more about how people become ghosts, so I figured it might be a connection. Also, check out the Onion Radio Network podcast; it might be suited to your humor.”

There’s a plug for you. Signed, Ryan.”

Micah: Well, I’ll answer the second part about the gateway back to Earth. I think it would be more of a gateway to whatever afterlife there was. We talked about that on the last show, that if this Ministry is built around the Veil and the Veil is sort of the gateway to the underworld; maybe it’s possible that those peoples’ souls who don’t go to the underworld – that they do come back through the Veil, I don’t know. It still wouldn’t explain why the ghosts just can’t, you know, pop on through the other side and that no ghosts came through the Veil at all while they were there. You know, I’m not…

Laura: Because they can’t.

Micah: You think they’re trapped? [laughs]

Laura: No, I just don’t think that… It’s like saying [sighs]

Micah: So basically, you’re telling Ryan, “No!”

Laura: Okay, here’s… [laughs] Here’s why I think that, though… Because Nearly Headless Nick didn’t know anything about the veil. If it were somewhere that ghosts came from, he would obviously know about it. He said that he didn’t know anything about death or what came after it because he chose this feeble imitation of life instead.

[Pause]

Kevin: Shot down, Ryan.

Laura: And I love the silence.

Kevin: Shot down.

Micah: So, hopefully we answered your question, Ryan. I don’t… I don’t think that anything can come back out through the Veil once it’s already behind there, and I think that’s why they’re studying it.


British Joke of the Day


Andrew: Yeah. Yeah. British Joke of the Day.

Jamie: Okay, I don’t, I don’t have one. So, I’ll just say…

Andrew: You never have one.

Jamie: I would. No, I know. Well, I forgot.

Andrew: It used to be a huge segment, now it’s just…

Jamie: Well, I would tell you the joke about the pen, but you probably wouldn’t get the point.

Andrew: Ooh.

Laura: Ooh.

Micah: Ha, ha, ha.

Kevin: That was good.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Okay, I need some new ones. I’ll find some for next week, I’m sorry. I just feel like I’ve used them all already. I know that you can’t really use every single joke in the world.

Andrew: Especially with only 59 episodes with one joke a week, and you started on episode three. So…

Jamie: Yeah. I think there are a few more than just 59 jokes in the entire world. So…

Laura: Well it doesn’t matter, Jamie. They can’t be jokes from the entire world; they have to be British jokes. Duh!

Andrew: That’s true. So there’s only, like, 80.

Jamie: Yeah, that is very true. And I do happen to know that there are only 59 jokes in all of Britain, so I’m going to have to go back and start repeating.


Show Close


Andrew: We’d like to remind everyone that if you’d like to send a voicemail question to be aired on this show, make it a general question about the series. To contact us, our P.O. Box is 223 Moundridge, Kansas 67107. All that stuff is sent to Ben, and he forwards it all to us if it’s for us. If you’d like to call us to leave those voicemail questions, if you’re in the United States you can call 1-218-20-MAGIC, which is 1-218-206-2442. In the UK, you call dial 020-8144-0677, and if you’re in Australia you can dial 02-8003-5668. Speaking of Australia, no word yet if we picked up the Kids Choice Award for fave podcast.

Jamie: Hundreds?

Andrew: Yeah, hundreds. We’ll have an update on that next week.

Kevin: Oh, and we should thank everyone for sending in the EA questions. We got a crapload of them.

Andrew: Yes, thanks for sending in the EA questions. Kevin, tell us about all the EA questions.

Kevin: I can tell you the most common question if you want me to.

Andrew: What? What is it?

Kevin: I got it about one hundred times. It’s “is the new game open world, or is it requiring you to go though step by step?”

[Show Close music starts]

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Kevin: Where you can fly around the entire world.

Andrew: I think it’s open world.

Kevin: We shall see when they answer.

Andrew: Just ask me. You can also Skype the name MuggleCast and leave a voice mail question, just keep your question under thirty seconds and eliminate as much background noise as possible.

Jamie: Keep it under three seconds from now on.

Andrew: Yeah. You can also e-mail us. You can just use our first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or use the feedback forum on MuggleCast.com. We also have a new community section on the new community website. You can visit our MySpace, Facebook, YouTube group, Frappr group, or even the MuggleCast fanlisting and forums that MuggleCastFans.net.

Jamie: Basically, what he’s trying to say is that there are so many ways to contact us that you’ve got no excuse at all to. Get writing, e-mailing…

Andrew: We’re everywhere.

Jamie: …phoning, sending, mailing.

Andrew: Yes. There was something else I was going to say.

Jamie: I know what you were going to say. You were going to say Dumbledore does not speak Parseltongue, the snakes just speak English out of sheer terror.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Actually, Michael, 17, from Sydney said that.

Andrew: Very good Michael, 17, of Sydney. That does wrap up MuggleCast 59. We’ll be back with 60 – we’re turning 60 next week. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: [says in strange voice] Buh-bye!

Kevin: Goodbye.


This Week in Steck


Andrew: This week, we’re going to have fun with a new segment, and we’ll get back to all of our normal segments next week. We’re calling it “This Week in Steck.” It’s a rip off of “This Week in Tech,” and we know it, but it just works so well, that we have to do it. [laughs] So, we want you guys to send in your technical questions, but Jamie’s got a question for “This Week in Steck” this week that he hopes Kevin can answer for him. Is Jamie not here? [laughs]

Jamie: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, so I think we just made this so I could get my computer problem solved, you know? I think that’s it, Andrew. [laughs] Okay, Kevin, okay. I have a wireless network…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …in my dorm, okay, and I get a perfect signal, okay, on my laptop – perfect, excellent signal, but the Internet keeps dropping. It will die, and then, and then Google won’t load, and then every other website will load in like, eight minutes, and then it will crash, and AIM will crash, and then MSN won’t load. Why is this when I’ve got a perfect signal?

Kevin: Okay, where is the router located?

Jamie: It is downstairs.

Kevin: And where – so it’s passing through floors, I assume? How many?

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s a perfect signal. I get… One.

Kevin: Well, see, the thing is, is that all wireless signals run on a certain frequency…

Jamie: Oh, okay. I know it’s on Channel 11.

Kevin: So, you’re running on a 2.4 gigahertz frequency.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: So, anyone with a 2.4 gigahertz phone running on the same channel can…

Jamie: Is going to interfere. Should I change the channel, then?

Kevin: Yeah, actually, if you go to the lowest range, like, Channel One or Channel 11…

Jamie: Yeah, one.

Kevin: …or the maximum range, it tends to help.

Jamie: It’s on… I know it’s on Channel 11 now, so shall I change to one and see what happens?

Kevin: Yeah, try changing to one and see how it goes.

Andrew: Yay. [presses the easy button]

Jamie: Thank you, Kevin. That concludes “This Week in Steck” this week. I will tell everyone next week if my wireless network is performing perfectly.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful.

Jamie: I’m sure it will.

Andrew: That needs a second press. [presses the easy button] Too easy for Kevin Steck. What can’t he answer?

Kevin: I know.

Jamie: Oh, Andrew, Andrew, we have a rule in this house where, where, you can’t press the easy button unless something was easy.

Andrew: Oh, really? [laughs]

Jamie: And uh yeah. It’s like a grave, grave, you know, violation of rules if you press it when something hasn’t been easy.

Andrew: [laughs] Is it a hot item in your house?

Jamie: Huh?

Andrew: Is it a hot item in your house?

Jamie: Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: You like… And any person who presses it has got to explain why they pressed it, or why something was easy.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, geez. Best five dollars I ever spent for you.

Kevin: Oh, wow.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Samantha, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #58

MuggleCast 58 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew: Three solid weeks without MuggleCast and one new Podcast Award later, this is MuggleCast, Episode 58, for October 8th, 2006.

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Spy on Spartz


[Phone rings]

Emerson: Whatchu want?

Ben: Hey, what are you up to?

Emerson: I’m going to take a shower, that’s pretty much it right now.

Ben: Hey, you know how people always like to be redundant? You know what I’m saying? Like PIN number and ATM machine? Do you know why they do that? Why would they do that?

Emerson: Because they’re stupid?

Ben: Oh, come on! Is that all you could come up with?

Emerson: Okay, no, no, no. It sounds better as ATM machine. I say ATM machine too.

Ben: But come on.

Emerson: It’s definitely acceptable to say ATM machine.

Ben: Oh really? So, how’s Notre Dame this time of year? I’m curious.

Emerson: Notre Dame is glorious.

Ben: Glorious?

Emerson: The leaves are turning colors. The football team is winning, and…

Ben: Hey, did they – how’d they do against Michigan? I was curious.

Emerson: I beg your – what?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: Against Michigan.

[Micah laughs]

Emerson: How’d we do against Michigan? Against Michigan State, they won. They made a real comeback.

Ben: Right, right. What about Michigan the week before that?

Emerson: Well, what about Michigan? Everybody knows that game. And I blame the refs.

Ben: [laughs] You blame the refs? Well, we just thought we’d check in on you. We haven’t checked in on you in a few weeks.

Emerson: The refs gave them at least six touchdowns.

Ben: Mhm. We’re missing you, man. I mean, you haven’t – we haven’t seen you forever, we haven’t touched base with you in so long. We thought we’d Spy on Spartz.

Emerson: That’s cool. Ben, what did you think of the Michigan State game?

Ben: I enjoyed the Michigan State game. It was a great game.

Emerson: What’d you think about Michigan State?

Ben: What?

Emerson: What’d you think about Michigan State?

Ben: It sucked. [laughs]

Emerson: [laughs] Why did it suck?

Ben: Because it was huge. It was, like, bigger than – it was 85 Moundridges put together.

[Laura laughs]

Emerson: [laughs] That’s probably accurate.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, Emerson, we’ll let you go. We just wanted to see what was up. We’ll see you later.

Emerson: [laughs] Bye.

Ben: So, ladies and gentlemen…

Andrew: Oh boy.

Ben: We just Spied on Spartz.


Welcome Back


Andrew [with show music in background]: Welcome back to the show, everyone! Oh, it’s been a while since I last heard your voices. Well…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] We don’t really talk…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: No, we did talk. [laughs]

Ben: Big flub there, Andrew.

Andrew: Anyway, you know what I’m saying. Welcome back to the show. I’m Andrew.

Ben: I’m Ben.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Micah: And I’m Micah.

Andrew: This is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, and so much more, including that fantastic Spy on Spartz. What a way to open the show! How long have we been away? We even skipped an episode [laughs] because we’ve been away for so long.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Episode 57 is unreleased and might be unreleased for some time. However, it does exist, and it will go out eventually. And by eventually, I could mean five years. It’s going to be a heck of a show to edit together [laughs], but the point is – how’s everyone doing?

Ben: I’m good.

Laura: I’m great! I miss everybody, though. It’s so sad.

Ben: I miss everyone.

Andrew: I know!

Ben: I miss everyone too. Except Laura.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: I’m just kidding. I miss Laura too. No, I’m really not that bad of a guy. These people know me in person.

Andrew: He really isn’t.

Ben: Even though often times I’m perceived as this grumpy teenager, it’s really not that way. I’m fun-loving. Sure, I make comments that cross the line occasionally…

Laura: [laughs] Occasionally?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: …and I can cause controversy. And I like to cause controversy from time to time, but hey! I’m still fun. I’m joyous. Yeah.

Andrew: It’s all… [laughs] You really are.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: It’s that Subway, I’m telling you what. You must have had a Subway before we started recording. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: In case anyone is wondering, Jamie Lawrence is back in Durham where he’s settling down in college, and Eric Scull – well, we just didn’t invite him this week. The point is…

Ben: Well, we tried to invite Jamie. Jamie was originally slated to be on this week, but his internet – his internet conveniently…

Andrew: Didn’t work.

Ben: …fell out, yeah.

Andrew: Oh, we should – oh, there’s a good thing to insert at the end of the show! Me and Ben were trying to help him out with his thing, and we were recording his Skype because [laughs] he talks really slow. So, maybe we’ll include that at the end of the show. Actually, no. Maybe we’ll just tease you with it and never give it to you.

Ben: It was so funny because…

Andrew: I like that better.

Ben: …he sounded like – I don’t know, like he just woke up, or he took 100 pain-killers and he could barely talk. He was slow.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It sounded like he was slurring his speech. It was like [speaks very slowly] Beeeeennnnnnnn…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: It was hilarious.

Andrew: We’ll include a quick sample out of that at the end of the show this week. All right, stop recording. Well, we have a fantastic show for everyone this week – but before we do anything else, Micah Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: The winners of this year’s SyFy Genre Awards were announced last week; and Goblet of Fire won the Best Movie award, Emma Watson took Best Actress and Best Young Actor, while Dan Radcliffe won Best Actor and was the runner-up for Best Young Actor. Try saying that five times fast.

Speaking of the fourth film, HBO will begin airing Goblet of Fire on November 19th at 7 PM EST. It will then replay numerous times through the end of the month. A “making of” special will also air through the entire month, starting on November 7th at 6:45 AM EST.

In a new interview, Julie Walters, the Mrs. Weasley actress, discusses Order of the Phoenix director David Yates and explains how he captures the emotional depth of the book and the atmosphere he creates on-set.

Wrapping up movie news, Toby Jones, the man who voiced Dobby in the second Potter flick, recently told MTV that the ex-house-elf won’t be making an appearance in Order of the Phoenix, but Kreacher will.

As part of Banned Books Week, held last week to raise awareness of books that have been challenged in communities across the US, the American Library Association asked 5,000 people what their favorite banned book was. Unsurprisingly, the Potter series came out on top. To Kill A Mockingbird and James and the Giant Peach came in second and third place, respectively. What’s so bad about James and the Giant…?

While we’re on the topic of banning – as we reported previously, the Georgian mother, Laura Mallory, who campaigned for the Harry Potter books to be removed from Gwinnett County school libraries [in a southern accent] because fundamentally they “promote and glorify witchcraft”, is back at it again. After the Gwinnett Board of Education ruled the books would remain on shelves, Mallory, unsatisfied with the outcome, appealed the decision in a second hearing earlier this week. Mallory rehashed her previous points regarding why the books should go, saying “Witchcraft is being mainstreamed to our kids today but people are not aware of it. They think these books are fantasies but Wicca is a real recognized religion.” But everyone, don’t worry. It’s okay. I hear Laura is actually headed down there right now to set her straight.

On a more positive note, we’re proud to announce that MuggleCast won the top prize at the 2006 Podcast Awards in Ontario, California. The People’s Choice category was awarded to us after receiving over 100,000 votes from listeners and fans. Thanks to everyone who provided their support through the entire voting process, including our friends at PotterCast who we teamed up with! They received their award for Best Entertainment podcast.

Also, if you weren’t able to join us out in the Borders in Westwood for our live show in Los Angeles, California, the show is now available for download, and a transcript will be posted shortly.

Finally, JK Rowling has been updating her site quite a bit lately. I wonder why that is… Hmmm…

That’s all the new for this October 7th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah…

Ben: [Impersonating Micah] Thanks, Andrew.

Micah: Oh, oh. Sorry, sorry.

Andrew: [laughs] Hey, Micah…

Micah: Oh, you’re welcome.

Andrew: I have a funny story.

Micah: Okay?

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie calls you Mic-er. What do you think of that? It’s pretty funny, isn’t it? [laughs]

Micah: Yeah well, Jamie’s British. So, we all have our faults.

Ben: Oh!

Andrew: Hey, we have a MySpace – [laughs] that was – that’s pretty bad.

Ben: Hey people.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I’m just kidding. Don’t send me massive amounts of e-mail.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Hey everyone…

Micah: I going to get a thous…

Andrew: Okay, you’re done. You’re done, Micah. Thank you.

Micah: Sorry.

Andrew: Ummm…[laughs]

[Micah laughs]


MuggleCast MySpace and Facebook


Andrew: Don’t forget, everyone, we have a MuggleCast MySpace now. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a MySpace and you can visit ours at myspace.com/MuggleCastFans. Become our friend and then help spread the word about MuggleCast because we’re trying to get the word out more besides – we just promote it on MuggleNet – it’s started to spread further.

Ben: Mhm. We’re going to take over the world.

Andrew: Because, about one fifth of the world visits MuggleNet. But, what about the other four-fifths? Where do they go? MySpace. So, that’s why we are on MySpace. And Facebook! We also have a Facebook so just do a search for MuggleCast and we should show up there – as a group.

Ben: And if you can’t find the MuggleCast Facebook, you can add me as your friend and then I can get it through me, so…

Andrew: [laughs] Hmm. That sounds suspicious.

Ben: [Laughs] Yeah. I need more Facebook friends.

Andrew: It almost doesn’t sound like you’re having a competition with Jamie to see who can get more Facebook friends.

Ben: No, never. Never, never.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Ben Schoen. Remember the name.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: S-C-H-O-E-N

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, it’s wonderful to be back recording again.


California Podcast


Ben: So, hey, Andrew.

Andrew: Yes, Ben?

Ben: What did you think of California – Podcast?

Andrew: It was super! Thanks for asking, Ben!

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I thought it was fun too. I mean, it was a great time.

Andrew: Yeah it was. There was about 300 people that showed up.

Laura: It was very intimate.

Andrew: And…

Laura: That’s what I liked about it.

Andrew: Was it? Yeah, it was a different setting wasn’t it?

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: We were on the second floor – it was this room – it was a circular room. And there were only about a little under a hundred seats and there was a lot of people standing around the outside, but it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fan interaction too. So, it was good.

Ben: Yeah, I liked it a lot too.


Subway Confrontation


Ben: And, if you guys don’t remember, this was the day that I had the 36 inches of Subway along with the pizza. And, well, I’d just like to clear something up because earlier this week I got an e-mail from angry@disgusted.com.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Way to use your real email address…

Ben: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew:…in case we wanted to contact you back with a legit answer.

Ben: And here’s what they said: “I always liked you guys a lot, but you have gotten so pathetic. Well, one of you anyway…”

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: “That I think I may just listen to Leaky from now on.” Who’d want to do that?

Andrew: Oooh!

Ben: “Ben keeps begging people to send him Subway cards. That itself is disgusting because you’ve gone to like New York and LA in the last six months while people listening sit at home and even if we have the money, we have to work to get it and you ask us to send you stuff which you don’t even sound like you appreciate unless it is money or gift cards, something like that. Only Laura ever sounds like she cares that people take the time to make her something that didn’t cost money.”

Laura: Awww.

Ben: Good job, Laura. “Talking about your mailbox and asking for people to give you things is totally conceited anyway. But then, after talking about the battle against childhood obesity – the famous one – so people will send him free stuff, Ben goes and is bragging about how he ate three foot long subs at once. What a jerk. There are kids in the world who don’t have any food. There are kids in America who don’t [pause] and there are kids who seriously battle weight problems. That is so insulting to both groups. Better to ask people to send money to buy food for people in Darfur or someplace where children are starving than to feed Ben’s face. I listen to hear about Harry Potter, not to hear people who just went to Disneyworld and WB Studios and whatever – beg me to send them cards to get free food so they can act like a hog. It is really sad that Ben behaves like this and the rest of you, like Jamie, encourage it and think it is funny. You may all be older than me, but you sure don’t act like it. You should all apologize, especially Ben. And, you should give the cards to a homeless shelter or something to feed people who really are hungry. You may have just won a People’s Choice Award and I’m sorry now that I voted for you, but you are not my choice any longer.”

Andrew: Oooh. Awww. Awww. That hurts. That hurts, disappointed@disgusted, whatever.

Ben: Yeah, I just have a few things to say about this. First of all, I don’t remember the last time – an episode where I asked for Subway gift cards. They kind of just kept coming and I thank people for them, whatever. I mean, you don’t have to send them, it’s not like you’re obligated to. If you feel that Darfur or one of those other situations is something better to send your money to, go ahead and do that. I mean, I’m not saying you’re obligated to send your money to me. [laughs] I mean…

Laura: OperationSudan.org.

Ben: Yeah, or…

Laura: Go there.

Ben: …SaveDarfur.com or whatever it is. You don’t have to send anything to me. I mean, actually from now on, send your money to Darfur. I don’t need it. I can buy my own Subway.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

Ben: Second of all, I don’t feel it’s conceited for us to ask things because people like to send us stuff. I mean, it’s not like we’re constantly asking for things and say “hey, send whatever to our P.O. Box” – it’s not arrogant. Thirdly, the battle against childhood obesity – she brought up how it’s pathetic that I went and ate 36 inches of Subway – actually, when I was eating the 36 inches of Subway, I thought of this. First of all, I want everyone to know that none of the Subway gift cards went towards purchasing that 36 inches. All that money came out of my own pocket – I knew that would be unethical of sorts. Secondly, I’ve already lost weight and I’m still health conscious. It’s not like I go out eating 36 inches of Subway every day because then I would be the posterhood child for childhood obesity – the posterhood? [laughs] The poster child for childhood obesity.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Another thing is they mention how I should give these Subway gift cards to a homeless shelter. Well, coincidentally enough, one night we were in Los Angeles, we stayed downtown and there was a Subway right around the corner. Anyways, we went down around the corner to the Subway, Andrew and I did, and on the way back we got approached by a homeless person who said, “Guys, I am very hungry right now. I have diabetes. I really need to eat something, it’s absolutely necessary, or else I’m going to have to go to the hospital, I don’t have the money for this.” And you know I didn’t have any cash on me so what did I do? Andrew, tell them what I did.

Andrew: You gave that homeless man a Subway gift card.

Ben: Worth ten dollars.

Andrew: Ten dollars.

Ben: I gave this homeless man this ten dollar Subway gift card. So, I don’t think it’s appropriate to accuse me of being undeserving and arrogant and all that when my intentions are good.

Andrew: Yep.

Ben: So, from now on, from now on don’t send me Subway gift cards. Put your money towards Sudan or whatever. I mean, you never had to do it in the first place; it’s always just been an option. So, I ask you from now on don’t send me Subway gift cards, send the money to a better cause, save darfur dot org.

Andrew: Yeah, guys we’re just having fun. We’re not…

Laura: Very charitable.


iPod Issues


Andrew: We’re not demanding anything. We’re just messing around trying to have some fun. So, anyway, we wanted to address some podcast/iPod troubles that have been coming in. We’ve been getting a lot of complaints lately that MuggleCast screws up your iPods, and this isn’t true it’s actually a problem that occurred with the latest iPod software update. What’s been happening is, for some reason, when you put – this doesn’t happen with everyone’s iPods – but when you put podcast on your iPod, for some reason they freeze and restart or something like that. Luckily, I didn’t have the problem, but a couple people did so we’ve been getting a lot of emails. I just wanted to make it clear it’s not MuggleCast screwing up your iPod, it’s Apple. Blame them.


The People’s Choice


Okay, also and of course the big story of the week. Well, we’ve been off a couple of weeks. But it’s a big story and we want to talk about it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Yeah, sorry about that.

Andrew: We apologize, its rough coming back from a trip and then trying to put a show together because – especially during the school year because we all, you know, we all had a lot of school work to make up and business to attend to outside of the podcast. So, anyway, MuggleCast did win the People’s Choice Award at the 2006 Podcast Awards, back on September 29th.

Ben: Seems like ages ago.

Andrew: We were all there. Yeah, it was only like a week – actually it was a week ago today.

Ben: Today, right now as we record this show.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: We record on Friday night. This is what we do on Friday night guys.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We record MuggleCast. [laughs]

Ben: We don’t have friends. We don’t friends? Friends, what are those?

Andrew: Yeah. What are friends? Frynds? What?

[Laura, Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: So, yeah we… Yeah, so we won the Podcast Award. It was a great event, we had a lot of fun. What did you guys think of it?

Ben: I thought it was nice. I mean it was good to go around and meet other people who are involved in podcasting and all that so, yeah I’m grateful we had the opportunity to do that. If course next year we won’t be eligible. So, thanks to all the people who voted for us, Andrew had a chance to speak with the person who conducted the – pretty much the whole organizer of the event afterwards, and he pretty much told us that we crushed everybody. So, that’s thanks to you guys.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. He was blown away, yeah.

Ben: He was so surprised that Harry Potter could, you know, attract so many people and so many people would vote for us. So yeah, good job everybody.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: It was really great because there were tons of other very, very popular shows there and I had people coming up to me saying, “You’re on MuggleCast.” And they knew who we were, which was just – it was so flattering because it was like, “Wow, you know, you’re a pretty big show and here you are shaking my hand.” So, it was just great to go and get to see all these different people.

Andrew: It was great meeting all the new podcast – well not new, it was great meeting all the podcasters. I met Don and Drew from the Don and Drew Show and my buds Patrick and Adam from the Nobody Likes Onions.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: That is a good show.

Andrew: The Leo Laporte.

Ben: Yeah we met Leo. Andrew and I met Leo. We shook…

Andrew: Jamie was there, too.

Ben: Yeah. Jamie was there, too. We shook his hand. We had a good time with Leo.

Micah: Wasn’t there also…

Ben: He told us he was very impressed with what we are doing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: The Podcaster of the Year, people. He loves us.

Micah: Wasn’t there also a priest from the Vatican?

Laura: Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Ben and

Andrew: The Catholic Insider.

Ben: It’s actually the number two search result if you search for Harry Potter podcast.

Laura: Really?

Andrew: Yeah, because he does some Harry Potter stuff from time to time. Very good. So, that was the Podcast Awards. Thanks all the…

Micah: They need to work on seating for next year.

Andrew: Seating didn’t go very well but… We walked in and there were like five seats left.

Ben: So…

Andrew: Let’s put it this way, it was so popular…

Ben: So, what we did was, I grabbed a chair, Andrew sat on my lap.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Jamie sat on his, Kevin sat on his and then Laura was on the very top.

[Andrew laughs]


Order of the Phoenix California Video Game Podcast


Andrew: Before we get to our main discussion, we want to let everyone know that we will, in I guess like three or four weeks, have a special episode of MuggleCast that focuses around the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix video game, where we will be speaking with producers of the fifth video game from Electronic Arts. It’s going to be a nerdfest galore, yay! Yay, Kevin!

Ben: Kevin, Kevin would definitely be excited about that.

Andrew: So, we need your help, this is why we are bringing it up on the show. We want you guys to send in your questions that you have about the Order of the Phoenix video game to 1-218-20-MAGIC. Kevin is going to have a super time going through all the voice mails and picking out some questions for them. We’re going to choose like 15 to 20 questions, to pose to them, and then you’ll hear their answers on the show. And – what was I going to say? Oh, we’ll put some links to some information about the video game on MuggleCast.com and also MuggleNet will be promoting it there too, so that you guys can read up more about the game and then get some questions for them. We got a little preview of this game when me, Melissa and John hit up the Order of the Phoenix set. It’s looking like a great game, it’s very interactive, you can go around the entire school, do what you want, mess around. So, I am sure everyone will have a lot of questions for them. And the EA guys are really cool. So, for more information visit MuggleCast.com.


Harry Potter Jeopardy!


Ben: Also, wasn’t Harry Potter on Jeopardy! the other day?

Laura: Oh yeah!

Andrew: Yes it was, Ben.

Laura: It was!

Ben: Actually, someone sent me in the questions. They were completely lame, oh my gosh! Let me read a few of them to you. Because you guys all know how Jeopardy works, they give you the answer and you have to say the question, and it says, “In this sport Harry plays the position of Seeker.” Okay, seriously you have to be joking.

Laura: Are you kidding?

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: Yeah, it says, “A half-giant, he’s the game-keeper of Hogwarts.”

Andrew: Who is Umbridge?

Ben: Hagrid [uses silly voice]. “Ron and Harry use this unusual transport to get to Hogwarts for their second year.” Then…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: …”Harry’s nemesis, this member of Slytherin, has a dad named Lucius who is a supporter of Voldemort.” Then, “Any cat could tell you that she teaches Transfiguration magic at Hogwarts.”

Andrew: [in goofy voice] Whoa, ho, ho.

Ben: Yep. These are the exact questions.

Laura: Those were…

Ben: They appeared on the cards, but yeah that’s…

Laura: Some really difficult questions.

Andrew: Little too easy.

Ben: Yeah I know, but I guess if it was – not everyone’s read Harry Potter.

Andrew: It was like Teen Week, so I think that’s why they asked.


W.O.M.B.A.T.S.


Laura: Yeah. Jo’s WOMBATS were nothing next to those questions, huh?

Andrew and Ben: [together] Speaking of WOMBATS.

Ben: Yeah, good transition there.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, how did everyone do on their WOMBATS?

Ben: Hey Andrew, Andrew. How’d you do on your WOMBATS? Just curious.

Andrew: Oh, I did great. I got a nothing, because I didn’t take it.

Ben: Awww.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: Yeah, neither did I.

Ben: Well, you know, we’re sorry excuses for Harry Potter fans. I can feel the hate mail coming already, and I can hear all of you booing us right now because we didn’t take the WOMBATS.

Andrew: Well, we sort of have valid excuses.

Laura: You know what? I can proudly say that despite being in Los Angeles – see that’s these guys’ excuse. They’re saying, “Well, we were in LA. We were too busy to take it.”

Andrew: We were distracted.

Laura: I took my WOMBATS and I got an Exceeds Expectations. Thank you very much.

Andrew: Well, very good. Very good. What was the second round like? Was it any harder than the first round?

Laura: You know what? I honestly thought that the first one was harder.

Andrew: Oh.

Laura: I got an Acceptable the first time, and I thought the questions were a lot more difficult. But at the same time, you really had to be paying attention to the books to do well on this, I think.

Andrew: Did this second round focus around certain style of questions? Or what?

Laura: Ummm.

Andrew: What were some of the questions?

Laura: God, let me remember. It had some stuff about magical creatures, like the first one. There was actually a question that it was all about Muggles; like this one section was about them. And one of the questions, I specifically remember, said, “Muggles are” and it had all of these little checkboxes with, like, opinions below it. And one of them said…

Andrew: Like ignorant, in danger…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …inferior to wizards, insensitive to their surroundings, interesting, or irritating facts of like for example?

Laura: Yeah.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Laura: I liked irritating facts of life, but I didn’t choose that one.

Andrew: Wait, are there correct answers for these?

Ben: I missed out on taking the WOMBATS the first time, so I’m still disappointed in myself.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Awww, geez.

Ben: Because you never know when their going to close the door and I was like, “Oh, I’m going to take the WOMBATS.” Then I log on to MuggleNet and it says, “The door is now closed.” Like, noooo!

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.


Micah Says, The Door Will Open…On Halloween!


Laura: Micah, do you think you could get Jo to open the door back up?

Ben: Come on Micah.

Micah: Yeah, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Let’s hear it.

Micah: I’m telling you.

Andrew: Do it.

Micah: October 31st she is going to reveal the title of Book Seven. I’m not joking about that.

Andrew: All right.

Ben: Are you pretty sure about that Micah?

Andrew: Oh Micah, I’m getting excited now.

Ben: Micah, do you have some kind of inside source?

Micah: You know, I think it would be really creepy if the night of the show I had said, “Oh she’s going to open the door later tonight.”

[Laura laughs]

Micah: And then we all went back and…


Wake Up Call


Micah: Well, you guys have an interesting story. Didn’t you guys get woken up?

Laura: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Micah: At five or six in the morning.

Andrew: That’s a lame story.

Ben: That’s a great story. Okay.

Andrew: Go ahead, tell the story.

Ben: Okay. I’ll tell it. I’ll tell it. It was awesome.

Andrew: [laughs] I can’t stand it.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: See, now here’s the thing, let me just say something first. If you listened to PotterCast earlier this week, they told like a completely different version of this story. [laughs]

Ben: Oh, did they really?

Andrew: [laughs] That doesn’t make sense at all, but anyway go ahead.

Ben: Okay, here’s what really happened. It was about…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It was probably like 9 AM. Wouldn’t you say?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: It was about 9 AM and I get a knock at the door.

Andrew: We’re in LA.

Ben: We’re in Los Angeles; Andrew and I in one bed and Jamie and someone else was in another. Anyways I get a knock at the door, and I go to the door and I’m like, “Who could this be? Who’s knocking at the door?” I open it up and Sue, Sue Upton from TLC, standing at the door saying, “Ben! Ben! Oh my God! Ben! The door’s open! The door’s open!”

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: And I’m like, “What? What door’s open? I know the door’s open.” And then she said, “No, JKRowling.com. The door is open.” And apparently she had some text message notification service so when she updated her site, the door…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: It sent her a text message or something, or someone called her. Something like that. Anyways, I go back to…I wasn’t about to post news, because I was so tired. So I go back to the bed and I start prodding Andrew. I’m like, “Andrew, get up. Andrew come on. The doors open, Andrew.” And he rolls over to me, he’s like, “No, it’s not. She wasn’t telling the truth.” I was like, “Oh yes, Andrew. It was a big conspiracy. Melissa and Sue are sitting over there…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No! I didn’t say that.

Ben: …plotting against us.”

Andrew: [laughs] Well, I did say that.

Ben: It was like, “Yeah. They’re sitting over there plotting against us. Like, oh, we can go wake him up and get him out of bed and get him all riled up if we tell him the doors open.”

Andrew: Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I was still sleeping. I didn’t know Sue came to the door, so…

Ben: Yeah. It’s classic me just to mess with him like I’d say something like…

Andrew: It is.

Ben: “Oh yeah. Sue came to the door, and she wants you to get up and post about it.” But, in reality…

Andrew: So, Ben kept bugging me.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: It got to the point where I was ready to throw him through the window. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: I was so annoyed. [laughs]

Ben: I was like, “Come on just post it. Post it now.” Because, you know, of course TLC waited about two-and-a-half hours until after they’d posted it to come get us up you know.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] And so then I went on MuggleNet to see if Ciaran posted it, and he didn’t. So I went and I checked out, like, the details on how to open it up and it was so much. I was just like, “Oh, forget this. I’m going back to bed.” [laughs]

Ben: So, we messaged Ciaran. He’s like, “Ciaran, post it.” And he gladly obliged, but yeah. It was a mess.

Andrew: It was funny.

Ben: It was pretty funny. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So, there’s our story. I was so annoyed with you. No one wake me in the morning.

Micah: But you guys are happy with these results, right? I mean, stuff is happening at least.

Andrew: What results? Your results?

Micah: She’s updating the site.

Andrew: Micah Tan the Anchorman gets results. Oh yeah. It’s all because of you Micah.

Ben: She’s scared of you, dude.

Micah: It’s funny. Somebody in Los Angeles, when were at the podcast, gave me a shirt that says, “Jo updated her site because I told her to.”

Ben: That’s awesome.

Andrew: Nice.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: So, thank you to whoever gave that to me.

Andrew: So Micah, that is your prediction? October 31st we’re going to see something?

Micah: October 31st. I’m going to stick with the title. I know she’s going to do an update, but I’m going to go big with it. I’m going to say she’s going to reveal the title.

Ben: No, Micah, Micah. You don’t say….

Laura: And what are you putting on the line here? What if you’re wrong?

Andrew: Yeah. You have to do something if you’re wrong.

Micah: Well, I’m going to look pretty stupid. [laughs]

Ben: Hold on, Micah, you have to say it with confidence. You have to say, “The release date…” Yeah. “The title will be released October 31st.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: No question about it, okay?

Micah: Okay. Okay.

Andrew: Good, do it.

Micah: The title of Book Seven will be…

Andrew: No, more, more… No, no, more, more force.

Ben: Come on, Micah.

Andrew: Kind of angry.

Ben: You have to…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …lay down the – throw down the law here.

Micah: Well, it doesn’t need to be angry though, it just has to be definitive.

Andrew: Yeah, well I know. It just has to be forceful. It has be like you’re in control.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: The title of Book Seven will be released on October 31st.

Ben: Are you sure, Micah?

Micah: Yeah! 100 percent.

Ben: 100 percent.

Andrew: [laughs] Whoa! 100 percent.

Ben: Oh guys, you heard it here first.

Andrew: I don’t know who you’re talking to. Yeah.

Ben: Guys, imagine if the title of it really is released, how much praise we’re going to get, how much praise Micah is going to get?

Andrew: Yeah. Micah Tan gets results.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Well, because she’s still deciding between two titles, so it’s kind of funny. She came up with the second title in New York City while she was taking a shower. I’ll tell you what, that New York City water really gets ya movin’. [laughs]

Micah: Watch, she’ll do it on November 1st just to spite me.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. That would really stink, wouldn’t it?


Main Discussion: The Veil


Andrew: Well, let’s talk some Harry Potter now, guys. This week we’re going to talk about the Department of Mysteries but, more specifically, the Veil.


Connections Between the Veil and Thestrals


Laura: Now, Micah, you told me that you got an interesting e-mail about this from a listener talking about what they thought the Veil was.

Micah: Yeah, I’m going credit them, too. Dana, 14 of Ohio, sent in a message saying, “On Episode 56 you put out the theory that Harry could get past the Veil using his Invisibility Cloak. That got me thinking of some way the two could be connected. I thought that maybe the Veil itself was made of the same material as the cloak. So, when people pass through, they don’t die, they just become invisible. That can be why Harry and Luna can still hear the voices.” And they were just wondering what they thought and, of course, they love the show.

Laura: Well, we all know that the Invisibility Cloak is made out of the fur from a Demiguise, which we all know very well, because of a certain trivia contest in Las Vegas.

Ben: You mean the one that we won?

Laura: Yeah, that one!

Andrew: Yeah, that one.

Laura: [laughs] Now, I was going through Order of the Phoenix and Sorcerer’s Stone, and I looked at the descriptions for both of them and the Invisibility Cloak is described as being fluid, laying on the floor and gleaming folds, shining like water woven into material. Now when you look at the description for the Veil, it’s described as being tattered, rippling, ragged. I got the impression of the Veil that it was just a veil. It wasn’t woven out of any kind of creature’s fur, not to mention it’s black. The Invisibility Cloak was described as being silvery-gray. So what do you think about that, Micah? I just don’t think that it could be made out of the same material. It’s a good theory, though.

Micah: Yeah, it’s definitely a good theory. Its just one of those things that you have to sort of take into consideration and, you know, sort of analyze.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: But based upon the descriptions that you just went over, it’s probably not, but I mean there’s different forms of material – of the same material rather – you just can’t rule it out because they’re different colors.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: There still has to be something more to the Veil, though, because… Well, we’ll get into this later on, obviously, there has to be, but – ’cause, why would Harry and Luna only be able to hear voices beyond it? If you’re trying to relate it to the Invisibility Cloak…

Laura: That’s interesting, though, Andrew, because…

Andrew: …because they’ve both seen death.

Ben: The Thestrals.

Laura: Andrew because – sorry, Ben.

Ben: I’m saying, like, the Thestrals. You had to see someone die in order to actually see the Thestrals.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Maybe it has something to do with that.

Laura: But you know what? Do you guys think that Jo is kind of pulling a fast one on us here? Kind of assuming that we will think that the Veil is all about death because, if you remember, it wasn’t just Harry and Luna, it was Neville and Ginny, too. It said that they were both staring at the Veil entranced. Ron and Hermione were the only ones who weren’t affected by it. And we know that Harry, Luna, and Neville have all witnessed death but we don’t know about Ginny. When would she have witnessed a death?

Micah: When did Neville witness a death?

Andrew: Well, Ginny was in the Chamber of Secrets, so maybe something happened in there.

Ben: Right, but I don’t know if there was any death going on there.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Are we sure that death has a direct connection to this, though?

Laura: That’s what I’m saying, though. I’m saying that because of Ginny, there has to be some sort of different connection between those four people. Otherwise, Ginny would have had to have seen a death.

Andrew: She almost saw a death in Chamber of Secrets when Harry almost died.

Laura: But he didn’t die.

Andrew: He almost died.

Laura: But that doesn’t count.

Ben: But that’s different, its like…

Laura: “Almost” only counts in Horseshoes and hand-grenades. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. “I almost won a million dollars.” Doesn’t mean you’re a millionaire.

Laura: But if someone close to Ginny died, wouldn’t the chances be that that person was close to Ron, too?

Micah: Yeah, what about Neville, though? Who did he witness?

Laura: His Grandfather, I think?

Micah: Oh, okay. I just wasn’t sure.

Laura: I remember during their Care of Magical Creatures lesson, they were looking at the Thestrals and Hagrid asked him who he’d seen die.

Micah: Oh, okay.


Was the Ministry Built Around the Veil?

Laura: But it just – there’s something about it that doesn’t seen natural. Like, when you think about it, there’s no actual archway to the afterlife. It’s not like, for instance, they go into the Department of Mysteries and there’s this veil there. It’s not like you walk into the White House and there is some sort of veil leading you to death. [laughs] It just seems bizarre to me that this would be here. Why did… Do you guys think that the Ministry built this thing, or…

Ben: Well, of course, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to just appear out of nowhere. If it’s a veil…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, here’s the thing. And I hate talking about the movies because to me it sounds arrogant because I’m like, “I saw the set! Blah blah blah.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But, they had an artist’s rendering of the Veil on the set and we talked about this at the Leaky Mug, this is the only reason I’m bringing it up, W.B. [laughs] I’m not, you know, we’re not going to spill all the details here but, from the artist’s rendering, you can tell that it looks like the Ministry was built around it. That Veil was connected to the rock, this, this… It’s hard to explain because… I was really surprised by it, because it wasn’t like you’re traditional veil. It looked very – the whole thing looked very old and tattered and looked… It was crooked and it was all weird, but it definitely looked like the Ministry was built around it. Because it was connected to the rock. The Veil was connected to the rock. The ground.

Micah: And you have to wonder what kind of input J.K. Rowling has when those things are created.

Ben: Well, I remember people saying that with the death scene – I mean, not the death scene, but at the beginning of Sorcerer’s Stone in the movie where – like where Voldemort comes into Harry’s house and he kills his parents or whatever. You see like. there’s just this scene at the beginning. You know what I’m talking about.

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Apparently, J.K. Rowling had a say in that. It was like very specific about what went on.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: So, it could be likely that Jo said, “Yeah, the Veil is built – the Ministry was built around the Veil,” you know. But to me, to me, what I think that the Veil is just a place where, like, I don’t know, where they study death, you know? I’ve heard that theory quite a bit. And it makes sense because…

Andrew: It’s not a theory. Jo actually said that.

Ben: Oh, did she really?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Well, then, yeah. Then…

Andrew: In the interview with Emerson and Melissa.

Ben: Sorry, I feel so out of the loop.

Andrew: Melissa said, “Was it used as an execution chamber or just studying?” And J.K. Rowling said, “No, it’s just studying. The Department of Mysteries is all about studying. They study the mind, the universe, death, and in this case, where the Veil is was the Death Room,” or something.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: It’s called the Death Room or something like that.


The Veil is the Gateway to…?


Laura: Now, if we’re assuming that the Ministry was built around this veil, this archway, what is it about it that they’re trying to keep so secret? Because I don’t really think that we can assume – I’ve seen a lot of people assuming that when you die in the wizarding world, you go beyond the Veil. And I don’t think that’s so, because if that were the case, then the Veil would be common knowledge. Like people would think of it as like going to Heaven or doing, you know, whatever a specific person’s religion…

Ben: Yeah, something, something has to be special about the Veil itself for that to be in the Department of Mysteries. Like, what’s so mysterious about it – when you go through the Veil, is it really the afterlife you’re going to? Because I mean, does it make sense for them to hide it then? I mean, what’s the big deal? Why is it hidden? What’s so secretive about it?

Laura: Mhm. And…

Andrew: Well, it has to be protected because then anyone can just jump
through it and kill themselves.

Ben: Right, but you can kill yourself in a multitude of ways. It’s like
saying we should get rid of all shotguns…

Andrew: But that way is so easy.

Ben: …so people can’t kill themselves.

Andrew: I mean, also, the thing is, they were transfixed by it. They were
attracted to it. It’s not just that you can so easily die by walking through it, but you can also, inadvertently, become attracted to it. It pulls you in.

Laura: Yeah. So, do you guys think it’s evil?

Andrew: How can it be evil?

Laura: Because if it – well, if it causes death. Harry said that – hang on,
I’ve got the quote here. It says, “Harry felt a very strong inclination to
climb up on the dais and walk through it.” Now, if it causes death and it
makes you want to walk through it, I’m going to assume that it’s not a good
thing.

Andrew: I don’t know, it’s like a cat. When it looks at something shiny it
wants to touch it.

Laura: Okay, but a cat doesn’t die when it touches something shiny.

[Micah, Ben and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Well, Harry doesn’t know that…

Micah: If it’s a blender it does.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Harry doesn’t know if you walk through it you’re going to die. So,
of course you might want to go up to it and be like, “Whoa, what’s this?”

Laura: Yeah, but still, if it kills you – if it draws you in and unexpectedly kills you – it’s kind of evil, isn’t it?

Andrew: Right, well, right.

Micah: I think he raised…

Andrew: Yes, but you’re coming to a conclusion that it draws you in. I mean
you could just… I see what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t consider it…

Ben: I mean it’s natural, it’s natural…

Andrew: [laughs] …evil. It’s a thing. That’s like calling a tree evil.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, okay. Hold on, if you see a… No, hold on a second. If you see a…

Andrew: [laughs] “You’re trying to kill me! You’re not putting out enough oxygen!”

[Laura laughs]

Ben: If you see, if you see a hole in the wall…

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: …you’re automatically going to be intrigued by it, interested by it…

Andrew: Right.

Ben: …regardless of whether what’s on the – you want to figure out what’s on the other side. I mean, the reason that Sirius fell through the Veil wasn’t because, you know, he was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so interesting.” It was because he got knocked back into it by Bellatrix.

Laura: Yeah, look. Listen to this. Order of the Phoenix, chapter 34
pg. 775, says, “On the other side Ginny and Neville were staring,
apparently entranced at the veil, too.”

Ben: Was this after Sirius died?

Laura: No this was before.

Andrew: No, it was before.

Laura: Whenever they were exploring. And these four: Harry, Luna, Neville, and Ginny were all entranced by it, while Ron and Hermione were saying, “Come on, you guys, I can’t hear anything, let’s go.”

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: Well, then it probably has to relate with seeing death, then.

Laura: Well then, doesn’t that beg the question, who has Ginny seen die?

Micah: The Basilisk.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: What about Tom Riddle?

Micah: Yeah.

Ben: Never thought of that.

Laura: He didn’t die, though. He wasn’t…

Ben: Yeah, he did. I mean, depends what you classify as dying.

Laura: …a person. He was a piece of a soul, he was shattered.

Ben: I guess that’s true.

Laura: And I’ve gotten the impression from Jo that whenever you, you know,
you break your soul up like that, you don’t count as being alive anymore. Hagrid even said it, “he’s not even alive.”

Ben: Oh, he’s alive, but just…

Laura: He just exists.

Ben: He’s a fragment of what he used to be.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: But something…

Micah: But to go…

Ben: Go ahead, Micah.

Micah: I just wanted to go back to what you said before about the Veil being the – is it the only barrier between life and death? It’s interesting because if you think that it is, then that drawing that Andrew brought up kind of makes more sense because, then, if that is the only passageway, the Ministry, it makes sense for it to be built around it.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: But if it’s not, if there is some other passageway out there it kind of – you want to know, how did it get there?

Ben: Well, it’s…

Micah: How did it get to the Ministry?

Ben: Right. Well, is it possible that the Veil could be, like where, you know, right now if I died, it’s only – I can’t come back from being dead. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: So, is it possible, if Harry goes to the
Veil, tosses a rope down there, “Sirius! Sirius!”

[Micah laughs]

Ben: Just pull him on out.

Laura: But the only…

Ben: No, no, not that, really. I mean, is it possible for Sirius to return,
since the way that he died was going through the Veil? If you know what I’m
saying.

Laura: I don’t think so. Because if you look at the way the Veil is
described, it’s not like it’s a veil leading into another room. Harry went
around and looked at the other side of it. It was literally like he fell
through that archway and disappeared.

Ben: But, is the Veil a one way street or is it a…

Andrew: It’s got to be a one way street because, otherwise, Lupin wouldn’t
have said to Harry that Sirius is dead, he’s not coming back. If there was a chance, if somehow people could come out of that Veil, I think he would have said so.

Ben: Okay.

Micah: But it just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that, unless that is
sort of the passageway into the Beyond, that…

Ben: Then why would they keep it secret?

Micah: …then every single wizard that dies, or witch that dies, is behind there. You know what I mean?

Laura: Yeah, but why wouldn’t they know about it? You know? If that’s where
everyone goes when they die, how could they not – how could it not be common knowledge?

Micah: But Lupin seems to know, though.

Ben: I don’t think it’s truly an afterlife. I think it’s like a gateway to the afterlife.

Micah: Right.

Ben: I mean, it’s not like saying, “Behind the Veil is…” I mean, it’s like, behind the Veil will probably be like, your, you know, depending on what religion you are, your Heaven, your Hell, whatever, your Paradise, Abraham’s bosom, or whatever you believe in, and I’m not sure that, like, they would think, “Oh, behind the Veil is, like behind the Veil is behind the Veil,” like that’s a location, you know? I assume they think when they die they go to Heaven, Hell, like their own form of their own afterlife, not necessarily, “beyond the Veil.” They don’t think of dying, going, “beyond the Veil.” If you know what I’m saying.

Laura: Do you think it’s a sort of Purgatory? Maybe? I’m thinking about if
it does lead somewhere, what if it’s kind of a Limbo between two worlds?
Like, what if you’re sort of stuck there? You know what I mean?

Micah: But didn’t Lupin – you just said that nobody else seems to know about it – but Lupin seemed pretty confident that Sirius was dead.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because he grabbed Harry, and he said, “He’s gone, he’s gone.”

Laura: Well…

Andrew: And I mean, Sirius knew what the hell was about to happen, too, because he… [sighs] Laura, do you have the page open? I was just reading it earlier.

Laura: Oh, no. I closed it. It said something like…

Andrew: [sarcastically] Oh, Laura. You – ah – geez…

Laura: No, I remember the quote! I remember the quote.

Andrew: No, off my show. Off my show.

[Micah laughs]

Laura: I remember the quote! Shut up!

Andrew: Harry… No, I’m just kidding. It’s not my show, I hate it when people say that.

Laura: It said something along the lines of, “the laughter had not quite died from his godfather’s face,” and all this stuff.

Andrew: Oh, I’m getting it. Right, right.

Laura: He was shocked.

Andrew: Oh, you wait one second. I have my…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: …U.S. paperback. Yeah, “The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.” So, it seems like he knew what was about to happen.

Laura: Well, I always attributed that to just being stunned.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Like I’m not sure if he was really thinking about, “Oh, crap, I’m about to fall backwards through the Veil.”

Andrew: But, “The laughter had not quite died from his face.” That’s what lead me to think that…

Laura: Well, yeah, because he was laughing at Bellatrix.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Why would he laugh in the face of defeat? I don’t get that.

Laura: No, because he’d just been laughing at her a few moments before.

Ben: Okay, yeah.

Andrew: Because he said, “Come on, you can do better than that,” when she tried to put a jinx on her, I think it was.

Ben: And he was probably shocked because he was kind of being arrogant saying, “Oh, pretty much I’m better than you, there’s no way you can beat me,” and then, BAM! He gets nailed. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.


Why Didn’t Harry Ask More About the Veil?


Micah: Something else that is interesting is, why doesn’t Harry ask more
questions about what exactly it is?

Laura: Yeah, I thought that in Half-Blood Prince he would have…

Andrew: Yeah! That’s what bugged me, too! [laughs]

Laura: …wanted to know. I figured we were going to learn so much about the Veil in Half-Blood Prince, and we didn’t.

Ben: I really didn’t expect to, because I thought – I don’t know. It just didn’t seem like – I thought the Ministry would be saved for the last.

Laura: Well, I figured – I didn’t think we’d find out, you know, exactly what it was, but I figured we’d hear more about it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I don’t even think the word ‘veil’ was in that book.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Well, it leads me to wonder, why didn’t Harry just ask Dumbledore at the end of Book Five when he was talking to him in his office?

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: What gives, Harry?

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Because, maybe it didn’t come to mind, and maybe JKR…

Andrew: Yeah, but it was Sirius!

Ben: …needed to keep that detail out until the last possible moment. [laughs]

Andrew: Probably.


The Veil in Book Seven


Ben: So, what about the Veil in Book Seven? I mean, do you think Harry is going to use it? I, personally…

Andrew: It’s got to be brought up.

Laura: Oh, yeah. He’s going to have to go.

Ben: Of course, yeah, she has to tie that up somehow. And, you know, throughout Book Seven Harry is going to have to do a lot of investigating, just in general, acquire as much knowledge as possible, you know. There’s talk about he’s going to return to Godric’s Hollow, all these places, and the Ministry of Magic has to be one of them in order…

Laura: Mhm. There’s been a lot of talk about Harry going back to Hogwarts to do research, and I don’t think so. I think if he does research, it’s going to happen at the Department of Mysteries. Because that’s the place that holds all of the answers that he needs; especially the one door that he couldn’t get open, that had “the power of love” behind it, allegedly.

Micah: But, if you look at a lot of the different sort of heroic tales, there is always that journey into the underworld.

Laura: Mhm.

Micah: Before he can finally complete his quest, there’s always somebody there that knows some piece of information.


Back to Comparing the Veil and Invisibility Cloak


Andrew: Getting back to the Invisibility Cloak, did we really answer this?

Laura: I, personally, don’t think that they’re one and the same.

Micah: They seem to have similar qualities.

Andrew: Yeah, which is interesting, but what was that girl’s theory, Micah, that it just makes them invisible?

Laura: That room would be pretty crowded, though. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Well, if it makes you invisible…

Micah: No, no, no, that’s not what she said.

Laura: It just seems like, if that were the case, then there would have been no issue with Ron and Hermione hearing any of the whispering.

Andrew: Right.

Micah: Well, if it’s a big Invisibility Cloak, it’s just covering what’s beyond it. You know what I mean?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It can’t be a big Invisibility Cloak. That sounds so goofy.

Ben: Yeah, because it isn’t like there’s a… It isn’t like if you look behind there, there’s going to be like, a million people standing right there.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: It doesn’t work like that.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: She just said that, the Veil may be made of the same material as the Cloak. So, when people pass through the Veil, they don’t die, they just become invisible.

Ben: I don’t think…

Laura: But why wouldn’t Sirius come running up and be like, “Hey, Harry, I’m invisible!” You know? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, and JK Rowling said that she had to kill off a character in Book Five.

Laura: Yeah, she did, actually.

Andrew: That is close to Harry.

Ben: She was very upset about it, and I doubt it was, in Emerson’s words,
“Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle.” I’m pretty sure it was Sirius. I mean, there’s no doubt. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.


Tangent: Seeing Sirius Again

Micah: Well, it doesn’t mean we won’t see him in some form.

Laura: I don’t think so. I’m not one of those that subscribes to the…

Andrew: No, we have to.

Laura: …the theory that…

Andrew: He’s his godfather.

Laura: Okay, but… [laughs]

Andrew: And people question, why did he play such a big role in Book 3 and then
killed off in Book Five? There has to be something more to it, like in Book Seven he, I don’t know…

Laura: Because there was nothing else to do with him.

Andrew: Well, here’s a question.

Laura: Even Jo said that he had become a brooding presence in the books. He was done. [laughs]

Andrew: Here’s a question. How could Sirius come back? The two-way mirrors? We’ve sort of discussed that. The portrait?

Ben: I think that has to relate to it somehow, the two-way mirror.

Laura: I don’t know if Harry’s going to use that to communicate with Sirius, necessarily.

Andrew: Well, it all comes down to, if he had his two-way mirror with him when he fell through, which…

Ben: I don’t know. I seem to think we’re missing our guess about the two-way mirror thing.

Laura: You know what I think it depends a lot on? What exactly death is in the wizarding world. All we know is that when you die, you’re dead. We don’t know if you choose not to return as a ghost, if you have any afterlife, or if it all just goes black. I mean, we don’t know. If that’s the case, then there is no way Sirius can communicate with Harry.

Micah: Does your soul travel down…

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: [laughs] …to the Department of Mysteries?


JKR Defining Death


Andrew: It seems like Jo tries to stay away from explaining death.

Laura: I don’t know.

Andrew: Because it’s a very close and touchy subject.

Ben: Well, it depends on…

Laura: Well, it was…

Ben: I don’t know. Because she said, well, Dumbledore said that there are things much worse than death. And you hear in the Department of Mysteries, you hear Voldemort say to Dumbledore, “There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore.” Blah, blah, blah.

Andrew: Although, could you imagine if she started talking about what would happen after death?

Ben: Oh yeah, of course! She can’t define what happens after death because then the religious radicals really are going to go nuts.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Ben: Because, that’s too much, I mean…

Laura: I’m calling you out, Laura Mallory. Calling you out.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: No, the thing is, though…

Andrew: We should talk about her again for a second, later.

Laura: If she doesn’t define death, then there’s absolutely no way that we’re going to see Dumbledore, Sirius, Lily, James, or anyone else who has ever died in the series.

Andrew: Right, but we could still see them in another form.

Ben: Well, I don’t know.

Laura: Yeah, this is true.

Ben: That’s a good point, but what I don’t see… I don’t know about… She’s not going to define death in a way, in a religious sense, you know what I’m saying? Because then she’s…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because that’s when she’ll cross the line in the eyes of many people, like Christians, Muslims, whatever religion you are. Then she may cross the line. But as long as it’s sort of like a vague representation of the afterlife, I don’t really see there being really much of a problem with it. I mean, it is a fantasy book. Gandalf came back from the dead – that’s
not possible, you know? Except I have a thing, Harry Potter has just gotten a lot of notoriety.

Micah: We know it’s not possible for Dumbledore.

Ben: Right.

Laura: Well…

Micah: That we know. We don’t know about anybody else. And until she actually says it herself, I’m…

Laura: Well, Jo said Sirius is dead. [laughs] I mean…

Ben: Right, but another thing is, it’s important to remember is…

Micah: It doesn’t mean he’s not going to make an appearance.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …that we cannot bring people back to life.

Micah: Right.

Ben: You know what I’m saying? But Jo – I keep referring to Jo, to Dumbledore as Jo, because it’s really her words – but Dumbledore said that those who love you, even though they may not be there physically, they truly haven’t left. You know? It’s that type of thing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Their presence will still always be felt.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Harry’s always going to remember what he learned from Sirius. Sirius is always going to be in the back of his mind. So, it’s not like Sirius truly is dead – he’s dead in the physical sense, but in a personal sense he’s still Harry’s godfather. He’s really – he’s still there, in a way. His influence remains, just he’s no longer there to add any further input.

Andrew: What I’m saying is that, if he does come back, he’ll come back in a different form, because maybe the Veil didn’t really kill him, but in Bono’s words, he’ll be “all that he can’t leave behind.”

Ben: [sings] It’s all that you can’t leave behind…

Laura: Yeah, the only thing is, though, I’m not sure how I feel about…

Andrew: Laura, shhh. [sings] All that you fashion, all that you…

Ben: Sorry, sorry.

Laura: [sighs] I can’t believe you were shushing me.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Here I am, talking about Harry Potter on a Harry Potter show and you shush me to sing.

Andrew: Hey, hey, hey, we haven’t had a U2 moment in a while, we had to have one.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Okay, no, you had plenty of U2 moments before we recorded. Thank you very much. Now, as I was saying…

[Andrew fakes crying]

Laura: Now, I can’t even remember. [laughs] I’m sorry! I’m sorry.

[Andrew sniffles]

Laura: Anyway, the thing is, Voldemort fears death so much that I don’t think that the series can finish without us learning about what death is in Harry’s world.

Andrew: Any final conclusions from anyone? I mean, I guess we covered all the bases here. So, we really covered everything about the Veil. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: And there’s not much to cover in the first place, but we covered everything there is. So…

Micah: Well, wait. I’ll ask one more question.

Andrew: Oh, okay.


Who Made The Veil?


Micah: If it’s not made out of the same material, right, as the Invisibility Cloak – we really didn’t touch on, then, who made it.

Ben: Actually, George Washington’s wife knitted it.

Micah: Martha?

Ben: Martha knitted it.

Micah: [laughs] That’s genius.

Ben: No, I don’t know if it’s really necessary to find out who made the cloth that covered the Veil.

Laura: Well, what if it’s…

Ben: It’s probably a linen, a cotton substance, probably.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It’s a – what?!

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: No.

Laura: [laughs] What if it’s something along the lines of Stonehenge? It’s one of those really weird things…

Andrew: Right.

Laura: …that someone built, but we have no clue because it’s so old.

Andrew: Because again, it looked like – in this artist’s rendering – it was part of the earth. And in the book, I’m pretty sure that Dumbledore does say – Harry asks him, or someone asks someone, and Dumbledore says that the Veil was there for as long as the Ministry had been there, if not longer.

Laura: Wow, the Ministry must be pretty old, [laughs] when you think of it that way.


Studying Death


Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty sure, I’m 99% sure that’s in the book. But, also, this Veil area – the Death Room – is where you study. How do you study death? And do they still study death?

Laura: Well, what you do Andrew…

Ben: Actually, they push…

Andrew: Like do they just chuck stuff through it and it comes back out?

Ben: They threw puppies, they throw puppies through it.

Andrew: Throw puppies through it?

Ben: They throw puppies through the Veil.

Laura: I was going to say that they pick their least favorite person on a podcast and they throw them through.

Ben: Then, bye, Laura.

Laura: No, I was actually thinking of you, Ben.

Ben: Bye, Eric. Bye, Eric.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Just kidding.

Andrew: He’s already through.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: No, because it makes me – it kind of annoys me. Why don’t you just throw a fishing line in there, see what happens, reel it out…

Laura: [laughs] See if someone grabs on to it?

Andrew: Or just stick your hand through. Seriously. Why can’t you just stick your hand through?

Laura: Okay, why don’t you just…

Andrew: I’m serious. I’m being serious.

Laura: …go stick your hand through something that kills people when they go through it, and let me know how it goes.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: No, I’m just saying, why don’t you test it, why don’t you – maybe they have.

Laura: I don’t know. Wasn’t there a theory…

Andrew: I’m being serious, though. [laughs] Not Sirius Black! [rings bell] Ooh-ho-ho-ho!

Laura: Owww.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Anyway.

Laura: Wasn’t there a theory discussed – I think we talked about this on a show way back at the beginning – that someone brought up, what if going through the Veil turns you into a Dementor?

Ben: No.

Andrew: Oooh. Interesting, but he’s dead. So…

Laura: I know he’s dead.

Andrew: He’s dead, he’s dead.

Laura: But it’s kind of along the lines of, what if the Veil is made out of – that was pre-Book Six that that theory came about. [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: But how do you study death?

Ben: I don’t know, there’s…

Andrew: How can they use the Veil to study death?

Ben: …there’s a big textbook about it.

Laura: Well, see, you know what? And this could just be me looking into it too much, but Jo said it wasn’t used as a torture chamber.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: And I’m kind of wondering, how do you study death without throwing people through this Veil?

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: I’ve kind of always wondered, I’m like, what if they took Azkaban prisoners and just threw them through this veil just to test death, see what was going on with it? What if they took the ones who had had their souls sucked out by Dementors and just shoved them through?

Andrew: Why don’t you just…

Laura: What then? But then, wouldn’t that be, technically, considered torture?

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I mean, I guess it depends on how you define torture.

Laura: So, then, the only other solution, if they’re not throwing people through it, then someone has to go into it.

Andrew: Unless they’re just using it to hear the voices that are coming from out of it.

Laura: Yeah, but only certain people can hear them.

Andrew: Right, and then it would just be those people who are able to hear the voices that would be studying death.

Laura: I don’t know, it just, it seems like a waste for it to be there and not have any kind of interaction with it. You know, it just seems like…

Micah: Well, we don’t know that.

Laura: Something’s…

Micah: We just haven’t been told that.

Laura: Something’s got to be going in there. Something has got to go through that Veil.

Andrew: Not really, because you can’t observe what happens after someone goes through it, and if it’s a one-way street, so to speak. That’s why I’m thinking that they can only use it to hear voices.

Micah: Well, there’s probably a way that they could communicate with whomever’s on the other side of that…

Laura: Two-way mirror.

Micah: …one would think.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No, that’s just the case with Sirius and James, I think.

Micah: No, because, I mean…

Laura: No, no, no. It was a joke, Andrew

Micah: …if the Veil was there…

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: …beforehand, before the Ministry even was there…

Andrew: And they built it around it, which, really, that is how it looked.

Micah: …then, the chances are that there was already someone or something behind the Veil. So, perhaps they’ve been working on a way to communicate with those that are there.

Laura: Maybe. Did you guys also notice that the chamber it was in, it was described a lot like the courtroom Harry had been in at the beginning of the book? It had lots of seats…

Andrew: Is it – doesn’t it sort of look like a coliseum?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Like, seating. Yeah.

Laura: And, so, you’re wondering, how many people do they have studying this?

Andrew: Hmmm, yeah. Yeah, but those weren’t… Was that Ministry-built too? I wish I remembered that picture. I should’ve taken a picture of the picture.

Laura: What if it was, at one time, used for torture? Maybe they don’t use it that way anymore.

Andrew: I don’t know, how could you consider it torture? Once you throw them through, they’re done, it’s not like…

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: But it’s still killing them. [laughs]

Ben: Right, but that’s not torture. Why don’t you use the Cruciatus Curse if you’re going to torture them?

Laura: So, so you’re saying, you’re saying, Ben, that if we, if we kill somebody, but we don’t cause them any pain, it’s not torture?

Ben: Not at all.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Well, what… Tell me, tell me, what would you rather die…

Laura: You…

Ben: How would you rather die?

Laura: Okay, it doesn’t…

Ben: Have, have – go through a guillotine…

Laura: It doesn’t matter.

Ben: …have your head cut off, or would you rather be electrocuted, where you die a lot more slowly?

Laura: It, okay, it doesn’t matter.

Ben: I think you’d rather have it be quick, than…

Laura: It doesn’t matter what you prefer. It doesn’t matter. The circumstance doesn’t matter. The fact is you’re still taking away a person’s life.

Ben: Right, but that’s not torture. You’re not torturing them. Torture is…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …like when you…

Laura: Yeah, it’s torture leading up to it.

Andrew: A painful death.

Ben: How? How?

Laura: It’s torture leading up to it, when you’re like, “I’m about to die.”

Ben: Oh, you mean when you’re pushing the… Yeah, but that’s not torture.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Torture is like extensive punishment, and…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …you don’t even have to kill them.

Andrew: [sighs] That’s the… Yeah, we don’t need to make…

Laura: I don’t agree.

Andrew: …a discussion out of that, but…

Laura: I don’t agree.

Andrew: Final conclusions: I say, Veil is a portal to death, you can hear the voices, so they can study the voices, hear the death – hear dead people, I mean.

Laura: I don’t think the Veil is the only path to the afterlife. I think it’s a specific…

Andrew: Well, there’s the other one, which is stabbing you in the throat.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Laura: God, Andrew! You make me cry.

Andrew: Well, it’s a portal to death, right? Not you personally. I’m just saying as a…

Laura: [still laughing] No, I think that it is a very specific path to a section of underlife. I just don’t think that you go through there. It would be like, for instance, if you’re talking about an afterlife, like we would imagine it. It’s not like you have six doors, and you go through one of them, and you still get to the same place. I’m thinking of it as, you get into this place that is an afterlife, but you can’t get out, and it’s not where everyone else goes, if you go through the Veil.

Andrew: Do you have a final thought on the subject, Ben?

Ben: Ben Schoen’s – I’m like Jerry Springer, it’s Ben Schoen’s final thought.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: The Veil, it’s a big mystery. That’s all, that’s all I know about it. I don’t think it’s the only – I don’t think there’s like a portal to the afterlife, there’s something that’s special about the Veil. It may… It could be a portal to the afterlife.

[Micah laughs]

Ben: But I don’t think, you know, people think, “Oh, when I die I go behind the Veil.” I think, if it’s a portal to anything, it’s like a portal to Heaven or Hell or whatever. I mean, it’s not like, “Oh, you die, you go behind the Veil where you whisper to people as they walk by.” [laughs] It doesn’t work like that.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Right.

Ben: That’s my last thought.

Laura: Micah, what’s your final thought?

Micah: I think it may just be, because there’s actual whispering that’s taking place, maybe it’s just the collection of souls, in a way, that they’re studying. Maybe those that are – just got caught. I don’t know, it’s really weird, but I like the whole idea that the Ministry was built around this thing, and that this thing has been there for quite some time. And building the Ministry around it is a way to protect it, and if it really is that important, and Jo sort of follows the whole line of this being some sort of heroic tale, which, you know, she never follows mainstream, but I think that we’ll see, definitely, something interesting will be revealed about it in Book Seven. I’m not saying Harry is going to through the Veil, or whatever, but maybe he uses it for his own purposes.

Andrew: That was a good talk. That was a good – geez, that was over a half hour. That was a solid 45 minutes. [laughs]


Laura Mallory


Andrew: Laura and Micah, there’s been something that’s been bugging all of us, but you two, especially.

Laura: Well, as everyone knows, Laura Mallory, who is a Gwinnett County, Georgia, mother of four – she’s actually, she’s about 30 minutes away from me – has been campaigning to get the Potter books removed from the Gwinnett County school libraries. Well – oh, God, what day was it that that was?

Micah: It was two days ago? Was it two days ago?

Laura: I don’t even remember. Two days ago? Okay, well, a couple of days ago, she took her hearing to the state, and she basically, she appealed to the State Supreme Court to get the books banned from the school libraries. What I found interesting this time, though, was she actually acknowledged some of the good themes in the books. Like friendship, loyalty, good versus evil, which was weird to me because this whole time, she’s been saying the books are evil, and now she’s saying that they kind of, you know, go for good versus evil, or good triumphing over evil.

Andrew: Mhm. Micah, do you have anything to add?

Micah: I just don’t understand the whole point behind banning these books. I mean, there are themes in almost any classic book that you can sort of look at and say you know what, “There’s a problem with this and I don’t want my child to read it,” and I think it should just be as simple as that. If she doesn’t want her children to read these books, then don’t let them read it. I mean, they’re going to come to a certain age where they’re going to start doing whatever it is that they feel is necessary, and if they want to pick up and read a Harry Potter novel, that’s their choice, but she’s the supervisor now. She’s the guardian of them until they’re 18 years old. If she feels that it’s not the place of the child to read the book, that’s fine, but I don’t think she should be imposing her will on other people.

Laura: Mhm. You know what I find interesting about that? She recommended that children read other books, such as The Chronicles of Narnia, and I realize that Narnia is a very – it’s, you know, very religiously based; however, she talks about how Harry lies, cheats, and steals. Well, what can you say about Edmund from Narnia? He betrayed his family, and it was a mistake. Of course, he realized that, but it’s another life lesson, just like Harry learns.

Micah: Not to mention there’s a witch in the story!

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I know! And they sacrifice Aslan! She goes on about evil blood sacrifice, and I’m like, “Ummm… Aslan much?”

Andrew: You know, guys, this is buggin’ me. This is really grindin’ my gears.

Micah: Uh oh. It’s what’s buggin’ Andrew now.

Andrew: This is really – this makes me want to “Get a Butterbeer.” Makes me want to say, “What’s Buggin’ Andrew.”

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: But, how about we give her a call? Try to give her a call? Okay. Let’s do it.

Laura: Well…oh…okay.

[Phone rings]

[Phone rings again]

[No answer]

[Still no answer]

Andrew: [laughs] Leave a message if …

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: Hi, you’ve reached the Mallorys. Your call is very important to us…

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: Please leave your name and number…

Andrew: I bet!

[Everyone laughs]

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: …and a brief message after the tone…

Andrew: Leave a message!

Mr. Mallory on answering machine: …and we’ll return your call as soon as possible. Thanks, and have a good day. Bye.

[Answering machine beeps]

Ben: Hey, Laura. This is Ben from the Harry Potter MuggleCast podcast, and I was just calling to ask you a few questions about your vendetta against the books, and to see if – feel free to give me a call back at this number. Thank you.

Andrew: All right. Well, that’s a bummer, but, hey – maybe she’ll call you back, Ben.

Ben: That – wouldn’t that be weird?

Micah: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] What if she calls you at, like, three in the morning?

Micah: What would you say to her?

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: “Hey, Ben, I want to ban your book because I want attention in the media is the real reason why.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. [laughs] Well, I like the part where it goes, “Your call is really important to us.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Is it? Then call us back! Anyway…

Andrew: [clears throat] Got to clear my throat for this next segme – bleah! – segment. Time for Andrew’s …

[Ben sneezes]

Andrew: Whoa!

Ben: Sorry. Ben Schoen’s dying.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Tell us what’s beyond the veil, Ben.

Ben: I don’t know. Well, I’ll tell you.

Andrew: That sneeze.

Ben: I’ll write you a letter. I’ll bring my two-way mirror.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: I’ll text message you from behind the veil.

[Laura laughs]


Andrew’s HUH?! of the Week


Andrew: Hey, it’s time for Andrew’s HUH?! of the Week!

Laura: Wooo!

[Andre presses Staples Easy Button: That was easy!]

Andrew: It’s not an e-mail, guys. It’s something – it’s something different this week. It’s actually a YouTube video, and a lot of you have been e-mailing us this video, and it’s actually really funny, because this girl nailed it head-on. What makes a MuggleCast fan girl? And she got it exactly right, and she recorded it after she met all of us, and, you know, went to Lumos and all that. So, we’re going to play it right now. There’s some naughty language in here, so we had to edit it down just a little bit, but take a listen to this. It’s pretty funny:

[Audio]: Oh, my god! Hi, guys. I just got back from Lumos, and it was, like, the best time I ever had in my life. It was, like, so amazing. There was, like, some really stupid that I didn’t understand, but I got to see MuggleCast, and I got to see Emerson, and I got to see Andrew, and I got to see Ben, and I got to see Eric, and I got to see John Noe, and it was, like, so amazing. I waited in line for, like, twelve hours, even though you weren’t really supposed to line up, but I just waited outside the door, because there was, like, some other stupid stuff going on, like, all my friends went to go see this guy. I don’t really know his name. It’s like its Steve Vander something. Like, who thinks about Steve Vander something. I don’t. I waited in line, and then, like, Emerson, like, walked by me, like, five times, and I was like, “Oh, my god! Emerson, I love you!” And he was like, “Yeah, blah blah blah.: And there was, like, really weird people at Lumos. And I was, like, really upset, because Dylan wasn’t there, and really, Dylan’s, like, the hottest one, and, like, some people think he’s not very important, but I think he’s really important, because he does the layouts for MuggleNet, and that’s, like, the most important part, and it’s, like, if the layouts were never really good, like, no one would go to MuggleNet. Um, yeah. There’s, like, a lot of people who, like, really like The Leaky Cauldron, and I don’t know why. The Leaky Cauldron’s really stupid. I don’t know. I don’t get Sue and her Hufflepuff stuff. Like, who wants to be in Hufflepuff? Hufflepuff is so stupid. There’s no hot guys in Huff – oh. Never mind. There is a hot guy in Hufflepuff. [gospel music starts] Never mind. I, like, totally love Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is, like, the best house ever. So, like, Jamie came up to me, and he was, like, “Do you want a sticker?” And I was, like, “Oh, my god! I would love a sticker!” And so he, like, gave me a sticker, and I was, like, “Oh, my god! Jamie just handed me a sticker!” So now, like, every night, for the most part, I kiss it and stuff. And, so, in total, I got, like, five hugs from Emerson, and, like, ten from Eric, and one from Andrew, and, like, three from Ben, and two from John Noe, and, um, five from Jamie, and I almost asked Laura Thompson for a hug, but no one, like, really cares about Laura Thompson anyway. Laura Thompson isn’t a hot guy, so I don’t really care about her. And I think she should just leave MuggleCast, because no one cares. Like, just think: Jamie’s hands were on this, and maybe Emerson’s hands were on it. And if Emerson’s hands were on it, that means that J.K. Rowling’s hands were on it. I’d rather be kissing Emerson’s hands than J.K. Rowling’s hands. I know that’s really stupid, because, like, if it wasn’t for J.K. Rowling, there would be no Harry Potter, and if there wasn’t any Harry Potter, there would be, like, no Emerson.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: That was great!

Andrew: That was good! That was good.


Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul


Andrew: Well, we’re going to wrap things up now with a Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul.

Ben: I hate this.

Andrew: The segment Ben loves to hate. This comes from Reva, 33, of Cleveland. Subject: Bad day, made me better. Actually, just Bad day made better.

Recently, I needed to have a surgical procedure done. The doctor said to find something I liked to listen to. They were going to use a local anesthesia, so I figured I didn’t want to stare into space for that long. Even though it was outpatient, he said I would be there a while. Three hours, to be exact. I borrowed a friend’s iPod and downloaded three podcasts from MuggleCast. Needless to say, this was the first time the doctor ever had a patient giggling during a surgery. Thanks for making a really hard day a lot better. P.S. The [emphasizes] pickle thing got me every time, but maybe that was the anesthesia.

Ben: Oh, of course you’re going to include that one. Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle…

Andrew: Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle! [laughs] No, that had nothing to do with the pickle. That was just one that was sent in, so…


Show Close


Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Thank you, Reva. You can also send your Chicken Soup stories to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Just put “Chicken Soup” in the subject line. As always, we enjoy reading them.

So, boys and girls, yeah, that does wrap up Episode 58. We are so thrilled to be back as People’s Choice winners!

Ben: Yeah!

Laura: Doesn’t it feel so good to say that?

Andrew: Once again, I am Andrew – yes it does.

Micah: Now, we’re up for another award, too. October 11.

Andrew: What’s Oct…

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: Oh yeah! Kid’s Choice Awards, Australia! [Laughs] Who’s going?

Laura: I want my blimp.

Ben: Erica. [laughs]

Laura: I want blimps.

Andrew: Yeah, Erica. [laughs] We’ve got to have a… Yeah, anyone out there in Australia, who’s going to be around, what is it, October 11th? Tune into Nickelodeon keep an eye out for the category of fave podcast. Let us know if we won, or if we lost. And if we won, I guess they’ll be in contact with us? I don’t know.

Ben: They’ll e-mail us a surfboard. A picture of a surfboard.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] They said it’s a web only category, so I don’t know what that means, but hopefully we’ll get something from it. So anyway, I’m Andrew.

Ben: I am Ben.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Micah: And I’m Micah.

Andrew: Tannenbaum.

Micah: [laughs] Thanks, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, our contact information. Ben, what is the P.O. Box?

Ben:

P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67107.

Send us anything, everything, only if you want to. Remember there is no obligation to send anything to the MuggleCast P.O. Box. Only if you feel like it. Don’t feel like you have to.

Andrew: You can also call us. In the United States: 1-218-20-MAGIC (62442) In the United Kingdom: 020-8144-0677 If in Australia: 02-8003-5668 That’s for voicemail questions or comments. Also, you can Skype us with the user name MuggleCast to leave your voicemail questions, comments, or e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Ben: Wait. There’s a contact form on MuggleCast.com, our web page.

Andrew: Or if you just want to e-mail any of us personally, it’s out first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Also, do not forget that the interview with creators of the Order of the Phoenix video game. For more information on that, go to MuggleCast.com it will be right there. Also, check out our new MuggleCast website!

Laura: Yay.

Ben: Yay.

Micah: Yay.

Ben: Oh, crap, is that up?

[Micah laughs]

Ben: I have to get it up then

Andrew: No, but it has to go up. [laughs] We have a fun new blog on there that we’ll be posting all the MuggleCast updates, and maybe we’ll do something else with it. All the usual stuff is there. Once again that wraps up episode 58, and we’ll see everyone next week for Episode 59! We leave you tonight with a special MuggleCast parody by a MuggleCast listener, Tom, who took some audio clips of Ben and I, and put them in to a mock interview that he did with us. It’s actually pretty funny, so you’ll hear that at the end of the show. Bye everyone!

Ben: See ya!

Micah: See ya!

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: Bye! Bye Internet. [laughs and says in high-pitched voice] Bye!


MuggleCast Parody


Tom: Hello and welcome to the first edition of a probable series of one; MuddleCast, the companion podcast to the popular Harry Potter show, MuggleCast. I’m your host, Tom Stelzer. The aim of this podcast is to provide you devoted MuggleCast listeners with the background on your favorite podcasters, through interviews with each of the main players. Whilst many of you have met many of the podcasters at various live events, we still really haven’t had a chance to get to know the people behind the minds, which is where this show will come in. First up, we’re going to catch up with Andrew Sims, the host of MuggleCast. Hello Andrew.

Andrew: Welcome everyone to the show, but…

Tom: Thanks, Andrew, but that’s my job here.

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Who’s that in the background? Is that your cheer squad or something?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Do they scream every time you say “Yeah”?

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Okay, so anyway, Andrew, you having a good day?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: How’s it been?

Andrew: All right!

Tom: That’s good to hear.

Andrew: Pickles.

Tom: Ummm, okay. So first up, Andrew, would you be able to tell us how the idea of doing a Harry Potter podcast first came up?

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Care to elaborate?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Well?

Andrew [To the tune of the Harry Potter theme song]: Nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar nar…

Tom: Are you actually going to say something?

Andrew: Yeah!

Tom: Well that’s good, let’s hear it then.

Andrew: All right!

Tom: Yeah, we got that the first time, but is there anything else you’d like to add?

Andrew: Pickles.

Tom: Yeah, you’ve already said that, too. Okay, well, I think that’s all we’ve got time for. Ladies and Gentlemen, Andrew Sims.

Andrew: Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Tom: Thanks, Andrew. That was very illuminating. Okay, next up we’ve got everyone’s favorite MoundRidgian, although that’s nothing special because there’s only about five of them. Direct from Kansas, it’s Ben Schoen.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Tom: I – yeah. I just said that. So, anyway, how are you today, Ben?

Ben: It’s rough being Ben Schoen.

Tom: So, what are you up to today?

Ben: Thirty six inches of…

Tom: No, I wasn’t talking about how much Subway you’ve eaten. I mean what are you going to be doing today?

Ben: Give me a Butterbeer.

Tom: Uh, sorry Ben, but I don’t have any Butterbeer.

Ben: It’s rough being Ben Schoen.

Tom: I’m sure it is. Anyway, I’m sorry but that’s all we’ve got time for today.

Ben: Time flies when you’re having fun.

Tom: Very true. Thanks, Ben.


Blooper


Jamie: [Slowly] I’ve never ever insulted your parents.

Ben: There he goes.

Jamie: [Slowly laughs] Can you record it for me so I can hear it?

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, we’re recording. You sound really stupid. [laughs]

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: [Imitating Jamie] Hey guys blah blah blah!

Jamie: Record it for me. Andrew, record it for me so I can hear it.

Andrew: Yeah, I know.


Micah: While we’re on the topic of banning, as reported previously, the Georgian mother, Laura Mallory campaigned for the Harry Potter books to be removed… [stumbles over word] Yes! Oh, nice. Now he dropped it. See, this is why you cannot do the news, and watch the Mets in the playoffs at the same time.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #57

MuggleCast 57 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew: Four weeks late but as promised, MuggleCast 57 is ready for your listening pleasure: Recorded September 18th, 2006. Once you hear the show, you’ll understand why we wanted to keep it as number 57. Granted, the show is a bit of a mess, [show intro music in background] especially at the end. We had some major audio issues that we tried to work out as best as possible, but we hope you’ll still enjoy the show even if it is a little outdated.

See why GoDaddy.com is the No. 1 domain register worldwide. Now with your domain name registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter code “RON”; that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Get your piece of Internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Ben: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Breaking news.

Andrew: Huh?

Ben: An E-coli spinach scare increases to 21 states.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: That’s quite a lot.

Kevin: Wow.

Ben: So, Popeye, beware.

[Jamie starts humming Popeye theme song]

Kevin: Watch those salads.

Ben: A Douglas county Nebraska resident was sickened by this strain of bacteria.

[Jamie stops humming Popeye theme song]

Ben: There have been 111 people sick and one person has died.

Andrew: This is kind of a depressing way to start the show.

Jamie: All from spinach?

Ben: I know.

Kevin: It is a pretty depressing way to start the show.

Ben: All from spinach.

Jamie: Bluto is just going to just kick Popeye’s butt now.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Because he’s not going to have any spinach.

Ben: [laughs] It’s all infected with E-coli.

Jamie: [laughs] It is.

Ben: So, you heard it here first, MuggleCast: We save lives. Don’t eat spinach.

Jamie: Unless you’re Popeye.

Ben: Stay away! Unless you’re Popeye. [laughs]

Andrew: What about pickles? Do pickles have E-coli in them?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: They’re green, too, and they taste bad.

Ben: I think pickles are safe, Andrew.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Ben: Pickles are safe.

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: That would suck, though, if we sort of said that word and people all bought pickles to send and we found out that…

Andrew: Yeah. Spinach, spinach, spinach! It’s our new tagline!

Jamie: …touching pickles cause….

Kevin: Cancer.

Jamie: Yeah. A specific skin disease or something.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I couldn’t sleep at night with that on my conscience, I must admit.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: That’s pretty funny.

Kevin: I don’t think you’d have a problem, Jamie.

Jamie: No, I think I would. Seriously. I really do think I would.

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show. As you can see we’re off to a great start already. This is going to be all about spinach.

Ben: Mhm. [laughs]

Andrew: We decided Harry Potter…

Ben: We’re done.

Andrew: …take a week off. This is 57. You know, 56 shows under our belt. It’s time, it’s time, it’s time, Micah, for you to update us…

Ben: We’re almost senior citizens.

Andrew: [laughs] …with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: Um, Andrew? This is a missing episode. There isn’t any news. So, that’s all the news, wink wink, for this September 18th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Welcome Back, Kevin!


Andrew: Okay. Thank you, Micah. Guys, you know, it struck me the other day.

Kevin: What struck you?

Andrew: We rely too much on… Oh by the way, by the way, how could we go any further? Kevin Steck, welcome back to the show!

Kevin: Yeah, its been awhile.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Thanks, Andrew. I have really missed my presence on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: How long has it been, Kevin?

Kevin: What, six weeks now?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At least four weeks. Something like that.

Andrew: Four weeks? That’s it?

Jamie: It’s been a long time.

Kevin: I think it’s longer than that.

Andrew: Yeah, I think it was longer than that.

Jamie: Have you lost your touch yet, Kevin?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] It’s been a 100 years or nothing. No.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Kevin, where have you been?

Kevin: School. School started.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At a wedding. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: At weddings. It was a wedding one week, wasn’t it?

Ben: [laughs] Kevin and the ladies.

Kevin: I know. I only had three of them this summer.

[Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Kevin couldn’t go to his own wedding because he had a wedding to go to.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Isn’t that right, Kevin? [laughs]

Kevin: Right.

Ben: We missed you, buddy.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We have. Welcome back, Kevin.

Andrew: We missed your voice, we missed your technical insight…

Jamie: Jokes.

Andrew: Missed everything about you, so welcome back.


MuggleCast on MySpace and Facebook


Andrew: Anyway, it struck me the other day: We rely too much on MuggleNet to promote the show.

Ben: Oh, really?

Andrew: I think so, because look at communities like MySpace. MySpace has 50 million people.

Jamie: Actually, I think it can have more than that now.

Andrew: MuggleCast – or MuggleNet – only gets 25 million. We are missing half of the MySpace audience.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: That’s huge. Just imagine how many Harry Potter visitors are on MySpace.

Ben: I know.

Andrew: So, this is the reason why we have created a MuggleCast MySpace: to help promote the show, get the word out, and get you guys interacting with each other. So, visit MySpace.com/MuggleCastFans or just go to MuggleCast.com for a link, and join up, help promote the show, and it’s going to be pretty neat-o. We already got a lot of friend requests. It’s pretty cool seeing pictures of everybody, because remember you’re an attractive bunch!

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: And we also got a Facebook group. You can join in. This is all to help promote the show and you know…

Jamie: Yeah, that’s really good, Andrew. That’s a good one, that one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Ummm.

Kevin: Allow stalkers to enter our world.

Andrew: I’m doing this hand motion right now, but I can’t put my – forget it.

Jamie: This is good stuff. This is good stuff

Andrew: Forget it, I’m done. I am done. Anyway…

Kevin: Go post a video of the hand motions.


Announcement: The 60-inch Subway Challenge


Andrew: Ben and Jamie, you guys got an announcement.

Jamie: We do.

Ben: A major announcement.

Jamie: Okay, it kind of… I think it started one day when I was hungry in the morning and I went to Subway and I got a 12-inch Subway melt and a 12-inch tuna for later on, so I could eat it later. So, I came home, I had the melt, then about four hours later or something like that, I had the tuna thing. And I got online and said to Ben, “Ben, I’ve just had 24 inches in one day, don’t you think that’s impressive?” Ben then made a comment back to me, “It’s okay, but I’ve had 36.” Now, we always want to go one better than, you know, what we’ve done. So…

Ben: Yeah, of course. Everything’s a competition with us. So… [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, yes. We thought, let’s go to 48, but of course, why go to 48, if you can go to 60? So, that’s our challenge for California. We’re going to do the 60-inch Subway Challenge.

Ben: Each of us.

Jamie: Hopefully, this is going to increase… Yeah, yeah, each of us. Hopefully, this is going to increase by 12 inches every time we go on…

Ben: One of these trips.

Jamie: …one of these trips. So, if we’re still doing live Podcasts in 2020, we will be doing the 1,024-inch Challenge…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: …which could get a little bit difficult by then, but we could be more experienced. So, and Ben, are we going to record it and do everything so we can get it online?

Ben: Well, if Andrew brings his video camera, we will.

Jamie: Okay, Andrew bring your video camera.

Andrew: Okay. Let’s record it and we’ll put a video up. I don’t… You’re going to eat, what, four, five different times of the day?

Jamie: It’s a… Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Five times in one day.

Jamie: We’re going to do it in one…

Kevin: Oh, it’s not in one sitting?

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: No.

Kevin: Awww.

Ben: That would be kind of hard.

Jamie: Yes, Kevin, yes. We’ll eat 60 inches in one…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t even think Jamie is 60 inches tall.

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t think he’d be able to…

Ben: I don’t know, I don’t think Jamie could handle it. That’s the problem.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, Ben, and you could? You’re going to have 60 inches of Subway?

Ben: Well, see, another thing – this reminds me. This is definitely going to be a daunting task. The other day I failed at a similar challenge in my…

Jamie: What was it?

Ben: …pre-calc class. I bet the teacher…

Kevin: A prize-getter.

Ben: …I could drink four cans of soda in…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …one minute and…

Jamie: Clearly, you can’t do that.

Kevin: Oh, geez. Yeah.

Ben: No, hold on, hold on. I got three down in forty seconds.

Jamie: That’s not bad at all.

Ben: And I took a look at that Dr. Pepper and I about passed out and…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …then I went to the sink and I threw up. So…

Jamie: [laughs] Awesome.

Ben: You know what? In California we’ll go for four in a minute. We’ll get a video of that, too. We’ll put it up on YouTube.

Andrew: That sounds fun.

Ben: Four cans of soda.

Jamie: What, four 60-inch Subways in a minute?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] No, four cans of soda.

Jamie: Now that would be impressive.

Kevin: I would rather see a gallon of milk in five minutes.

Ben: An hour – it’s impossible.

Micah: Wait, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah?

Micah: They have Subways in England?

Jamie: They do. But, unfortunately, I can’t set up a webcam linked to Ben’s Subway, so I could do mine and he can do his so, in a way, it’s in California.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: No, I’m just surprised fast food chains existed there.

Andrew: How about we make a poll on MuggleCastFan.net and let people decide who will win the competition.

Jamie: No, because clearly Ben is going to win it.

Andrew: Well, then why are you in it?

Jamie: No, no. It isn’t a competition, it’s a competition generally just to do 60 inches in one day.

Andrew: Oh, I thought it was you guys versus each other. Oh, all right.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. Basically, we’re going to space it out and have one at, sort of, 8 AM, one at 11 AM, one at 3 PM, one at… And just go on like that and kind of space it out. So, it should be fun and we’ll put it online, as well.


Leaky Mug Live in California


Andrew: Moving along, Leaky Mug Live in California – it is only four days away from today. And we’re pretending like today…

Jamie: No it’s not.

Andrew: …is Sunday…

Jamie: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: …the 24th. It’s only four days away. Hey, guys, we’re in England now. I mean, California.

Jamie: Oh, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: It’s been pretty cool, hasn’t it? It’s been fun. Yeah.

Ben: [sings] California.

Kevin: We’re all having a blast.

Andrew: Sunny weather…

Jamie: I’ve had a blast so far, yeah.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Leaky Mug Live in California, September 28th at 7 PM at the Borders in Westwood. It’s going to be a ton of fun.

Jamie: [raps the “ Fresh Prince of Bellaire” theme song] West Philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground where I would spend most of my days. Sorry.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s going to be a ton of fun and we’re looking forward to meeting everyone. If you’re in California, if you’re anywhere on the West Coast, just come out. It’s a quick drive.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere in the world, come out.

Ben: Okay, California is the west coast, Andrew.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah!

Andrew: Well, the mid-west or the west.

Ben: Yeah, so…

Andrew: Come out to California.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere, if you’re anywhere, come and see us, please.

Andrew: Yeah. If you’re in China.

Jamie: If you’re China, if you’re in Australia…

Andrew: Come out, it’s going to be a lot of fun. We’re probably not doing another live Podcast for a while, so this is your last, well…

Ben: This is the Leaky Mug Farewell Tour.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don’t tell people that. Like those bands do; they always come back.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah. We’ll re-group after awhile


Listener Rebuttal: Correction on Invisibility Cloak


Andrew: Moving along, Listener Rebuttals this week. First, we start off with a correction. We got tons of feedback on this. I know, we’re sorry.

Ben: We screwed up.

Andrew: James inherited the Invisibility Cloak…

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: …from his father, not his mother, like we wanted – speculated. This came from an AOL interview that JK Rowling did back in October, 2000.

Jamie: I think what Andrew’s trying to say, in not so many words, is that we got it completely, completely wrong.

Andrew: Yeah, we just didn’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. We can’t, you know?

Andrew: So, there you go.


Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling


Andrew: Moving on to emails now, Holly, 17, of North Bay. Where’s North
Bay?

Jamie: A bay that’s in the north.

Ben: Probably New Jersey.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it is, yeah.

Andrew: Kevin, I got the IP address. Trace this for me while I…

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Kevin!

Jamie: Just get Kevin to do it and in two seconds we’ll have a full match on…

Kevin: Oh do you want me to?

Andrew: Yes. It’s 69…

Kevin: Hold on one sec, let me…

Ben: Don’t say it out loud. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, don’t.

Andrew: I’m going to edit it out. I’m going to edit it out! 69.159…

Jamie: Hey, Ben, if you give Kevin the IP address in two minutes…

Kevin: Dot what? What was the last…

Andrew: Dot 2.

Jamie: …you have a full plan of their house, when they were born, what they eat for breakfast.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: He’s that good.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: This rebuttal concerns the homeschooling discussion we had last week: Wait a second: I’m listening to MuggleCast #56, and Jamie’s trying to argue that you can’t teach yourself Calculus. Well, I’m in first year university, and my Calculus teacher doesn’t speak English (his Russian accent is really, really, really, really, thick to the point we can’t understand a word).

Jamie: That’s pretty thick.

Andrew: So we (i.e. everyone in my class) can’t learn Calculus from anyone else. So I (and everyone else) have to teach myself Calculus from the textbook and I’m learning it by myself.

Kevin: Oh, that sucks.

Andrew: This is the same as my Discrete Math class (I’m a math major), and it’s really complex math, and my teacher doesn’t speak English, so I’m teaching it to myself. We don’t have a choice! We have to teach it to ourselves. So, if Hogwarts was shut down, it would be just like having a teacher who doesn’t speak English, you’re pretty much on your own. We can do it! So, wizards and witches can, too!

To a point.

Jamie: Didn’t I argue that you could?

Andrew: Yeah, I think she meant Ben.

Jamie: Okay, Ben.

Ben: Yeah, but no, I still completely disagree. You’re not going to get…

Andrew: Hold on, hold on…

Jamie: Ben…

Andrew: Hold on. Let’s not start this again. Let’s not start this again.

[Everyone talking over each other]

Ben: Listen. Listen. Shut up. Let me speak, Kevin.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: She’s not going to be able to teach herself Calculus as quickly or as
good as if she had an instructor.

Andrew: That’s a fair point.

Kevin: Einstein did it.

Ben: Oh yeah, and Einstein is the average college student.

Andrew: Steve…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: But you can’t speak for the person writing in.

Jamie: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Two


Andrew: Steve Danison, 18, from Albany, NY also writes about homeschooling.

Jamie: But we haven’t finished. [laughs] Sorry.

Andrew: Well, it’s the same. I do not believe home schooling is an option because in order to be homeschooled, the students would have to be allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, which we know is not allowed. Okay?

I believe if Hogwarts is closed, there will be no schooling of any sorts, unless the students were to be sent to another school, which is unlikely. So, yeah.

That’s a good point, Ben. Can’t argue with that one.

Jamie: But, but…

Micah: I can.

Kevin: I think an exception would be made.

Jamie: They could change it, though.

Kevin: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They could change it, but at the current time, right now…

Ben: In time of war they’re going to change it. That’s true, also.

Kevin: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Three


Andrew: Darren, 39, from Columbus, Ohio also writes about homeschooling:
The ability to learn without teachers does depend on the student.
Examples: Newton invented Calculus. No one taught him. Number two: Hermione
performed several spells before the first year. Number three: Hermione made
the Polyjuice Potion long before it was taught. Number four: Fred and George created the swap, which was new magic. Number five: Marauder’s Map, not something that would be taught. Number six: Horcrux, who taught Voldy to split his soul?

Jamie: Slughorn, Slughorn, Slughorn.

Andrew: In the end we take what we know and expand on it. This is learning without teachers.

Jamie: This is why…

Ben: Yes, I know, I know. And he makes a good point. But I’m saying you have to
establish a base. When you have first years that are going in there, they
have to actually have some basis for learning, they can’t just be able to
jump straight into advanced magic, they have to have…

Jamie: But, Ben…

Ben: …established the building blocks.

Jamie: This is why the best students are always the people who go off and
read for themselves and learn themselves on top of everything they do. I’m not saying that – you’re right that you need a base, which is why you couldn’t teach yourself at Kindergarten, you know, because you need somebody who can teach you the basics, but once you’re there you can build on it, and so I think they could do that at wizarding school. [laughs] That sounded so bad. What a weak argument.

Ben: Yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was terrible!


Name Intros: A Little Late


Andrew: I just realized we never did our name intros.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: The show never began.

Kevin: Oh well, they know who we are.

Andrew: Start, rewind. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.


Listener Rebuttal: Lily’s Invisibility Cloak?


Andrew: All right, now that we got that out of the way, next rebuttal, Jamie? [laughs]

Jamie: It’s from Amy, 24, from Durham, but not the Durham I go to. And I…

Andrew: Awww, I got excited for a second.

Jamie: So did I, so did I. We can meet up.

Ben: Do you mean that second rate UK university?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Oooh.

Jamie: Yes, thank you, Benjamin, thank you, Benjamin. Ben, remind me how much you pay for college each year. Go on, just tell me. Just tell me.

Ben: I am not in college yet, but it will be pretty expensive.

Jamie: Ben, you will be in college. Oh, right.

Ben: Well then, I can think how cheap your second rate education is.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It’s better than your education.

Ben: Ooo…

Kevin: That’s why Stephen Hawking is a teacher at Oxford.

Jamie: He is.

Kevin: He is.

Jamie: Actually, he isn’t. Well, he was at Cambridge.

Kevin: Oh wait, is he?

Ben: I’m sorry, guys.

Kevin: Get your facts right. Get your facts right.

Kevin: Oh, you’re right.

Andrew: An e-mail…

Ben: Us dumb Americans. Dumb Americans.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh yeah, how can I get that wrong?

Jamie: Kevin. Kevin, Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge. Get it right. Get it right. Can we get back to this, or are we just going to dwell on this?

Andrew: Yeah, go.

Jamie: On Ben’s second rate education, not mine.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Okay. This is Amy, 24, from Durham, North Carolina. She says: Hi, I’ve been listening to your show for some weeks now but finally decided to send in a comment today. In your discussion about James’ cloak (in 56), you touched on the point that the cloak might be Lily’s (and refuted it later but not completely). I think that the cloak cannot belong to Lily, because Dumbledore said that the cloak belonged to James and as we all know, Dumbledore was as precise in what he says.

Andrew: And Jo proved us wrong.

Ben: Yeah, we already got owned on this one.

Jamie: Yeah, we did. Well, why don’t we just be owned again since we did screw up. Come on.

Andrew: The point of this rebuttal is the last two paragraphs. PS.

Jamie: Okay. Also, the mundane reason (as you mentioned) why Dumbledore had the cloak can be that James left it with him to be used by the Order (given the fact that cloaks are rare), and Dumbledore could not return it back to the Potters before they died because he did not know who the Secret-Keeper was. Given Dumbledore’s role in safeguarding the Potters, and Wormtail’s character, I think there was very little time lost between his being Secret-Keeper and Voldemort arriving at the Potters’ doorstep. Dumbledore could not have also been present at the time of the Potters’ death, as apart from the fact that he could not have just stood by, he would also need to have known who was the Secret-Keeper for that. He would have been told in some format directly by Wormtail, and then he could have given the evidence against Sirius later.

Andrew: [correcting Jamie] Not have.

Jamie: What do you guys think?

Andrew: He could not have.

Jamie: Sorry? Oh yeah, “and he could not have given the evidence against Sirius later.”

Andrew: I think that’s a very interesting theory.

Jamie: You didn’t hear a word?

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: No. I read it. That’s why it’s in there.

Jamie: After all I said Andrew, you just thought you’d say that?

Andrew: No. I think it’s an interesting theory.

Jamie: Anyone else?

Andrew: That’s all I had to say. [laughs]

Jamie: Anymore slightly more detailed comments? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No?

Andrew: Is that bad? [laughs]

Jamie: No, that was excellent. Good. Excellent. Well done, everyone. Well done, everyone.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: The discussion this week is clearly up to scratch as usual.

Andrew: Well, you usually have something to add.

Jamie: Well, I was reading it.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: I know. Go ahead, read the next one.


Listener Rebuttal: Dumbledore Gave The Cloak to Hagrid?


Jamie: Okay. Well, sorry, Amy. No one has any comments at all, which is bad. Okay, this is from Vanessa, 25, from California. Hope you’re coming to the podcast.

I wonder if Dumbledore gave the Cloak to Hagrid to use, perhaps to “overhear” Wormtail giving access to Godric’s Hollow, because he had to know the secret location to go in and rescue Harry.

That brings up an interesting point.

Ben: Is the Cloak even big enough to fit Hagrid, though? [laughs]

Jamie: No, no. [laughs]

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: It would cover, like, one hand or something. Okay, that does bring up an interesting point, though. If you hear somebody telling somebody the location, do you know it, because they weren’t actually telling you and, apparently, you have to be told. It has to be a conscience effort on the part of the Secret Keeper to tell you the location. So, but anyway:

Obviously, Sirius’ motorcycle couldn’t be hidden with the Cloak along with Hagrid, and it’s almost too much to consider it could even cover Hagrid…

There you go!

…alone except that Harry, Ron, and Hermione can all fit underneath it together. The only problem with this is, Dumbledore always thought the Secret Keeper had been Sirius all the way until Prisoner of Azkaban. If Hagrid knew who the Secret Keeper was, wouldn’t he have passed that information along?

Anyone have any comments?

Ben: Of course he would’ve.

Jamie: Assuming he knew, of course.

Ben: Yeah, but I think you can’t…

Jamie: You can’t assume that he knew.

Ben: Yeah. I don’t know.

Micah: Well, I think it goes back to exactly what she said in terms of him having in his possession at the time that James died.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: I think its more important that he had it physically on him in some capacity when the event took place. Like, I’m not saying that he’s responsible in any way for what happened, but it makes it seem like, almost, Dumbledore shouldn’t have had it in his possession at that time, that it should have been used for something else.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Hmmm. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, that sounds right. Someone else read the next one.


Listener Rebuttal: Petunia and the Invisibility Cloak


Andrew: This leads into our main discussion, which is why we have it in here. Sort of leads in. Evelyn, 41, of Woodstock, Canada, eh?, talks about – also talks about the Invisibility Cloak.

Regarding the Invisibility Cloak, I believe it is because of Petunia that Dumbledore has the Cloak. Petunia, although she loathed the wizarding world, did love her sister. Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow…

Now, this is her theory: Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow on that fateful night to try and convince her sister to leave James and the wizarding world behind. When Voldemort shows up, James, or perhaps Lily, covers Petunia with the Cloak, since she has no magical means to protect herself. Petunia watches in horror as first James, then Lily are killed. She also observes the curse which backfired on Voldemort and watches him flee, close to death. A short while later, Snape (who of course is one of the good guys) shows up to try to warn the Potters that they are in danger (having extracted this information from the traitor, Wormtail). Obviously he was too late, but Petunia recounts exactly what happened. Together, Snape and Petunia retell the dreadful tale to Dumbledore. It is because of Petunia’s eye-witness account of Snape trying to warn the Potters that Dumbledore trusts Snape. Dumbledore also took the invisibility cloak from Petunia and modified her memory so she has no recollection of these horrific events.”

Jamie: Can I just add that after this happened, Snape and Petunia lived happily ever after.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Until the end of time. And they’re still together.

[Andrew hums dramatically]

Jamie: That is very interesting though.

Kevin: Yeah it sounds pretty…

Andrew: Well, I thought…

Kevin: …possible.

Andrew: Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool.

Micah: It’s a good theory, but again it would go back to the fat that James or Lily had the Invisibility Cloak…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Micah: …in their possession. And she clearly states…

Jamie: And also…

Micah: …that Dumbledore does. Unless she’s talking more generically. That’s – I think that she needs to be more specific. Because at the time of his death could be a generic…

Jamie: Yeah, and also…

Micah: …period of time. As oppose to the specific event – sorry.

Jamie: Also… Oh, no, its fine. Also, how much did Petunia care about Lily?

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing because this is where her whole theory stems from. Now, according to this rebuttal, she says that Petunia did love her sister.

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t…

Andrew: Now, I don’t know if that is fact…

Kevin: Yeah, I think it’s just an assumption.

Andrew: …because I don’t remember really that. This is just part of her theory. However, as a sister, you would think you would always have underlying love for her. About her sister.

Jamie: Yeah, I guess but, she didn’t talk very highly of her, you know, normally. So, I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, not now. But I mean, I talk trash on my sister every single day.

Jamie: You still lover her don’t you Andrew?

Ben: You still think she’s hot.

[Andrew sighs in annoyance]

Jamie: Yeah [laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Andrew and Micah laughs]

Andrew: No, I don’t. And I never did say that. so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[Awkward pause].

Andrew: Oh, okay. “PS…I love your show and listen to it regularly. Today is my birthday and it would be a great birthday present to get a mention on air!!!! Although I already feel that this theory which just ‘fell into my head today’ is birthday present enough. Keep up the great work. It keeps all of us Harry Potter fans occupied while we not-so-patiently await Book Seven.”

So, Happy Birthday Evelyn of Canada.

Ben: [singing] Happy Birthday to you!


Main Discussion: Petunia Dursley


Andrew: And this does lead into our Main Discussion this week which is Petunia Dursley.

Jamie: But what about …

Andrew: A character…

Jamie: But what about Dumbledore’s will?

Andrew: I’m moving that because…

Jamie: That’s very funny though.

Andrew: …the rebuttal.

Jamie: Oh, right.

Andrew: What? The will? Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s quite funny.

Andrew: It’s clever.

Jamie: When are you reading it? You reading it later?

Andrew: After. After the discussion.

Jamie: Okay, cool.

Andrew: Character Discussion on Petunia Dursley; we haven’t done one of these in a while. Aunt Petunia: aged around her thirties or forties. Petunia is a tall and gaunt with blonde hair and an almost abnormally long neck. She has a long bony horse like fee with long teeth and large blue eyes. Petunia is nosey and likes to gossip. She has a shrill voice, and a brisk, snappish manner. She is an immaculate housekeeper and keeps her home (number four, Privet Drive) spotless. Petunia despises magic or abnormality in any form and likes to act as though the magical world does not exist. But there are some strange things going on with Petunia.

Jamie: There are.

Andrew: And that’s what we’re going to discuss today.

Micah: She sounds like quite a catch.

[Jamie and Andrew laughs]

Jamie: She does.

Andrew: Micah…

Jamie: I’d go on a date with her.

Andrew: …got a little thing for her?


Petunia The Squib


Micah: Yeah, All right. So, one of the biggest questions surrounding Aunt Petunia is, is she a Squib? And from JKR’s own website she said Aunt Petunia has never performed magic nor will she ever be able to do so. If Petunia…

Jamie: But she hasn’t said – sorry, sorry.

Micah: No, go ahead.

Jamie: I was going to say that she hasn’t specifically said that that she is a Squib though.

Ben: That she isn’t a Squib or she is.

Micah: That’s an interesting point.

Jamie: No, I mean, she has dodged the word basically…

Kevin: Yeah, she…

Jamie: On purpose it looks like. She says “she hasn’t ever performed magic nor will she be able to do so.”

Kevin: But a Squib can…

Jamie: That could be due to – that could be due to emotional trauma, you know, like when Tonks couldn’t transform herself after the death of Sirius. You know it could be that she’s never been able to perform magic because she hates the thought of being abnormal in her world, so she can’t, you know, bring herself to do it, and she won’t ever be able to do it because she won’t ever be able to get over the thought of being abnormal in her world. So, she could be completely magical but she just can’t do it.

Micah: But, I mean, that is almost the direct definition of a squib, if you look it up.

Jamie: No, no, no, no, I thought that a squib was somebody who was a non-magical person. So, with all their heart they could not perform magic.

Micah: Right, but, and JKR has specifically said she has never performed magic, nor will she ever be able to do so.

Jamie: No, but what I’m saying is that there is a difference between being magical and not being able to do magic and not actually, you know, having the requirements in yourself to do magic. Does that make sense, or not?

Kevin: I think it makes sense. I mean…

Ben: I don’t know.

Kevin: She can have, like, a magic background, but not be able to perform the actual magic.

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. You could have… It’s like this… It’s like… Okay, okay, this is a very weird…

Kevin: Analogy?

Jamie: Yeah, analogy, but say you have got roller skates on, okay? You are capable of roller skating, but you could be so scared of falling over that you could – you cannot do it and you won’t be able to do it because you can’t get over your fear. That’s different to somebody who doesn’t have roller skates on, so clearly could not ever roller skate because they don’t have the tools to roller skate.

Micah: Okay.

Jamie: Make of it what you will. Make of it what you will.

Micah: So, you’re saying it’s more of her own will that she’s not – never able to do it, as opposed to her…

Jamie: Yeah, precisely. But…

Andrew: But is she a witch or is she a Squib?

Jamie: I’m not saying that, but she could be magical though. JKR… That looks like she’s dodged the Squib issue, by saying that. You know she hasn’t actually said she is not a Squib, she’s saying that she hasn’t performed magic.

Micah: I think that if anything, it proves that she possibly could be a Squib. Doesn’t it?

Jamie: No, because it just says that she hasn’t performed magic and she won’t be able to perform magic, not that she does not have the ability to do magic.

Andrew: But that’s not the definition of Squib.

Jamie: No, I thought that a squib was a non-magical person. They cannot do…

Andrew: Born of Muggle or wizard parents.

Jamie: Yeah. Look at it like this, a wand does not perform spells. There’s something inside you that the wand acts as a catalyst for that causes the spell to come out, which is why you can do magic without a wand. If Petunia – sorry, if a Squib pointed a wand and learned all the spells in the world it wouldn’t matter because they don’t have that thing inside them that is put through the wand and turns into the spell, you know? It’s like that whereas – that’s a squib, whereas a person who just cannot do magic, perhaps due to emotional trauma, as I said, is somebody who does have that thing inside them, but is unable to channel it, for reasons of, I don’t know, you know? Emotion, morality, you know? Fear, something like that and that could be Petunia, instead of her being a Squib. I mean, I’m not saying she is like that, but it is a possibility, considering how Jo’s worded it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: No, I understand what you’re saying and Andrew just brought up the next part of it is, if Petunia were a Squib it would mean that her family was magical, but we’re told in fact that Lily was Muggle-born.

Jamie: Wait, so…

Andrew: So, okay, so that answers the question.

Micah: Well if JKR is telling us the truth. Which she…

Andrew: Of course she is. Well, why would she lie to us?

Jamie: Because she hates us.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: [In a sad voice] She wouldn’t do that to me, would she?

Jamie: So wait, you’d be saying that if she’s a squib her entire family would be wizards and witches?

Micah: Well, one of them would have to be.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: One of her parents would have to be.

Jamie: Yes, you’re right. Oh yeah. I don’t know. Yes, that’s true. But Lily was Muggle-born, right? So…

Andrew: But that can’t be…

Jamie: So, she couldn’t be a Squib.

Andrew: Yeah. Right, right. So…

Jamie: My theory holds some weight. Maybe?


What Is So Surprising About Petunia?


Micah: So, if she’s not a squib and she’s not a witch, what information are we going to learn about her in Book 7 that’s so revealing, so surprising?

Kevin: She’s half a house-elf.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It must be something that she knows.

Jamie: Of course it is.

Andrew: There must be some little factoid that she knows that she’ll have to tell Harry.

Ben: Well, she’s already – we’ve already seen that she has quite a bit of knowledge of the magical world that we didn’t know about, like with the Dementor and stuff. So…

Jamie: Oh yeah, precisely.

Ben: There’s more to Petunia than meets the eye. I think Jo said that actually.

Micah: She did, so to me that means there is more to her, as opposed to what she knows.

Jamie: Yeah, but she clearly does know something that, you know…

Ben: That’s – that we don’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Wow, that’s a big step we’ve taken there, isn’t it?

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: That is a big revelation, yeah.

Jamie: One small step for MuggleCast, one giant leap for Harry Potter fans.

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing. That is why we included that rebuttal this week because she’s suggesting that Petunia actually was at Godric’s Hollow and she saw all this going down, and might connect the cloak.

Jamie: [sings] Down, down in an earlier round, And Sugar, we’re going down swinging.

Ben: I don’t think that’s true.

Andrew: Then what do you think is true, Ben?

Ben: I don’t think that made sense. If Dumbledore was given the cloak before James’ death by James, why would Petunia have it after he died?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know about that. But, I don’t know.

Andrew: She sort of explained her theory, but nonetheless. All right, move along, Micah.

Ben: [sings] Move along.


Familial Love


Micah: All right, do you think that she has any type of feelings for Harry and did she love her sister? This kind of goes back to what we brought up before.

Andrew: Uhhh…

Ben: Harry/Petunia shippers.

[Awkward silence]

Jamie: Ugh. She clearly – I don’t think you can say that she is completely emotionless towards him. She’s got to feel something, and clearly when she says…

Kevin: I think she…

Andrew: Well, she sort of has to.

Ben: I think it’s a big facade because Vernon is around, you know?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Right, yeah.

Jamie: In Book Five when she says, “The boy has to stay…”

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s clearly because of Dumbledore has told her about, but it just seems that there is something else there as well. She doesn’t want to turn him off into the streets like Vernon does. She hasn’t ever been the person who says, “Out, out, get out.” She’s always just been hiding behind her husband.

Andrew: I think the problem is that she can’t.

Jamie: Why? Because of the – yeah.

Andrew: Because of Dumbledore’s “remember my last”, and all that, and the Dursley house having some sort of magical, staying close to the bloodline, and all that. I just don’t think she can kick him out.

Jamie: Oh yeah, I think that’s probably right.

Andrew: And obviously, she had to convince Vernon somehow. There must have been more to it than just, “Vernon, he stays.”

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Isn’t that what she said in Order of the Phoenix?

Jamie: Yeah, she did, yeah.

Andrew: As for loving Lily, you have to have some sort of love for your sister.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: She’s family.

Kevin: She can be as mad as possible with her, but she still has to have some sort of emotion towards her sister.

Andrew: Grow up, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely.


Petunia’s Magical Knowledge


Micah: Okay, so we’ve seen in the past books that she does have some knowledge of the magical world. Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort and him coming back come from? Would she really have spent enough time around James and Lily to know about this stuff?

Kevin: Well, I was thinking that Lily was going to Hogwarts as well. So, she came home on the summers.

Ben: Well actually in Book Five we saw – Petunia said that she heard Lily say it to him, and him was Harry’s father. So, that’s how she found out about the Dementors. So, it’s likely that she could have acquired some more information simply by overhearing it.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. I mean, Lily was home every summer, so you would assume that she would snoop a bit. You know?

Jamie: Yeah, she must have heard them, or picked up a book or something.

Andrew: Right. Yeah. She had to be curious. Of you hated… Yeah. If you hated this whole magical ability so much, you have to be curious as to learn more about it.

Jamie: Yeah. Didn’t George Washington say, “We’re always curious about the things we hate”?

Andrew: Probably.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I just made that up.

Andrew: I don’t think there’s anything else to add to that. [aside to self] Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort’s return come from?

Jamie: No, no. I think that’s about it.

Micah: As far as Voldemort, I think she’s pretty aware of the fact that he killed her sister and James.

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah, she must have asked questions about that. She doesn’t just…

Micah: And not to mention, I’m sure, whatever was in Dumbledore’s letter…

Kevin: Yeah, and she had obvious contact with Dumbledore.


Petunia Seals The Magical Bond


Micah: …clearly. Okay, this is actually an interesting question. What does Jo mean by “never performing magic”? Clearly by providing her place of residence, she’s sealing the ancient magic that keeps Harry safe while he is under age. Is Jo being careful with her wording here, as she so often does?

Jamie: Haven’t we just discussed this?

Micah: Yeah, but I think…

Andrew: Yeah, we sort of did in the beginning.

Micah: The question goes more towards – she is in a way performing magic because she’s saying…

Jamie: Oh, well, we can get into a huge discussion here.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: No, because I was thinking, do you think this ancient magic, if you look at it kind of like one of the prophecies, okay? In the prophecies, a prophecy will only come true if, well, most prophecies, or some prophecies will only come true if under certain conditions in the prophecy are made. For example, the prophecy in Order of the Phoenix only came true because Voldemort only heard half of it and then marked Harry as an equal, thereby creating his own enemy. Now, it could be that Lily seals the magic – this ancient magic, just because she provides him residence. So, it could be in this spell – in this sort of incantation – the way this works it could be that Dumbledore creates this spell and he says that whatever and that this protection is given on Harry if so-and-so provides him a thing of welcome. So, it’s just a condition that she has to meet. It doesn’t require any magic, because she’s just fulfilling the terms of something else. She isn’t doing anything action, she’s being passive.

Micah: So she’s just part of the equation, that’s what you’re saying. Kevin?

Jamie: Exactly, yeah, I’m trying to say that. That is a much better succinct summary than my waffling on [laughs] about it when I didn’t actually say anything.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: So yeah, she’s just leading the ancient magical equation, but not performing any magic of her own, I think.


Petunia and Horcruxes


Andrew: I just keep thinking about, what could this big revelation be? Because we’ve sort of come to the conclusion that – and I just don’t understand how this will come into a big play in Book Seven. The only thing I can think of is that Aunt Petunia has something that’s going to help Harry discover the final Horcruxes, or final Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Maybe Petunia’s a Horcrux.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: She could be.

Andrew: So, Micah, you brought up last week that Jo is always very careful about her words. What do you think about this, the “never performing magic” line?

Micah: Well, I think Jamie was right before. You can interpret it two different ways. It’s either she chooses never to perform the magic, because she’s afraid of it, or she just doesn’t have the actual ability to do it. And I agree with him when he said that she’s more just part of the equation as far as the ancient magic is concerned. She doesn’t have the ability…

Jamie: Thanks, Micah.

Micah: …I don’t think to perform it. Yeah, no problem. [laughs]

Jamie: Your check’s in the post.


Dudley’s Greatest Fear


Micah: No problem. Now, this is something interesting. It kind of relates to Petunia. We’ve yet to really find out about Dudley’s greatest fear. We’re told we’ll find out about it in the final book. What possibly could he fear, and how do you guys think it relates to Aunt Petunia?

Ben: I don’t know. I hate to say this, but he grew up in one of those perfect childhoods, where it almost seems like he was molested.

Kevin: Awww…

Ben: That’s the only thing I can think of.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I mean, in all honesty. What else could there be? He had a perfect life.

Jamie: No, he didn’t though. Well, he didn’t – he thinks he did. But as Dumbledore said in Half-Blood Prince, “at least you haven’t inflicted the damage that you’ve done to Dudley on Harry.” That kind of stuff, you know? So, perhaps there’s something that they’ve done to do something to him that would turn into his greatest fear. But, Abraham Lincoln did say, I think it was him, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. And he did actually say that. Perhaps he…

Ben: That was FDR. Not Lincoln.

Jamie: Okay, okay. Well, okay…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, at least I… At least I knew it was a president.

Andrew: I would think that his biggest fear is magic, is Harry casting a spell on him.

Jamie: That can’t be his biggest fear.

Kevin: No. Do you think…

Micah: No, I think…

Andrew: Why couldn’t he?

Jamie: If he looked into the Mirror of…

Ben: It had to be something inflicted by his parents.

Kevin: Do you think it’s… Do you think it’s possible that – I mean, Dudley has always had a hate of Harry, right? So, he knows that Harry is different in some way.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Where did he find this out? He probably found it out from Petunia. Is it possible that she told him something about Harry to make him hate/fear something about Harry, and that’s why he’s always been…

Jamie: But, he’s just scared of him…

Andrew: Well, I’m sure they…

Jamie: …isn’t he? I mean…

Andrew: Yeah, and they probably would’ve made something up, like, “He can kill you if you…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I mean it’s true, but…

Jamie: Well, perhaps he’s scared of death, then.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: If he – if he gets scared whenever Harry points his wand in his face…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …it could be that he’s scared of being killed. Ben, I was trying not to laugh there, and you’ve just started it off. [in a disapproving tone] Gah, gah, gah. No, it could just be that Dudley is scared of death in general, and he thinks that because he doesn’t understand magic, whenever Harry points his wand in his face, he thinks he’s going to Avada Kedavra him and kill him.

Micah: What about his parents being in trouble? What about Petunia and Vernon possibly being attacked in some way?

Jamie: Well, I think he’s obviously extremely reliant on his parents, so that could be big as well.

Micah: Or, even along the lines of what Kevin was saying, possibly something that Petunia knows that maybe Dudley has an idea about getting out.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s…

Micah: And people finding out…

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Micah: …about Harry.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, perhaps.


Petunia and Sirius


Micah: Okay, this question kind of relates to what we talked about before in terms of her knowing more than she lets on, but it’s Vernon who seems to be shocked at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry informs him that Sirius is his godfather, not Petunia.

Ben: Well, it’s likely that Petunia already knew, then.

Jamie: Yeah, although – yeah. I think she probably did, because she must have been around when he was born. You know? And went to a christening and everything.

Micah: Sort of following up, did Petunia know Sirius? There are a lot of people out there who think that they knew each other pretty well, and it’s possible they even spent time together given that Lily was her sister and that Sirius was so close with James. And I’m sure that there were times where they all got together. I mean…

Jamie: They must have talked. It isn’t…

Andrew: Who? Petunia included?

Jamie: Huh? Well…

Andrew: Petunia included, Micah?


Petunia As A Child


Micah: Well, this kind of relates to the last point, what… [stumbles] what did Petunia do as a child? I mean, did she just hide whenever Lily had friends over? Because her parents, from what we’re told…

Andrew: Well…

Micah: …seem to be very welcoming to the whole idea of Lily being a witch.

Jamie: Yes. Yeah, they were. But…

Andrew: Her friends – her friends from Hogwarts?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because, well, when Petunia is explaining to Harry what happened to Lily in Book One, isn’t – doesn’t she say something like they…

Jamie: Came home…

Andrew: Oh, wait. No.

Jamie: She came home transfiguring frogs into stuff.

Andrew: No, I was going to say that she ran off to school and that was the last they saw of her, but actually she said, “They ran – Lily and that boy ran off and got married…”

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Andrew: “…and she never saw her again.” Never mind. Never mind. [sighs] I just can’t picture… I don’t see why that would go… Petunia would keep her distance.

Jamie: What? Oh, yeah. No, she would, but you know, when, I assume – how old were James and Lily when they got married, do you think, and had Harry?

Ben: Probably early twenties?

Jamie: Okay, well she must have… She can’t have not talked with them then. I mean, as a child, she was probably scared, but she, I mean, I assume that she’d observed niceties at that age and go to their wedding and, you know, speak to them and stuff, so I’m sure she talked to Sirius.

Micah: And I can’t remember, I just started rereading Prisoner of Azkaban, but I think when it’s on the TV that Sirius Black has gotten free from prison, she reacts in a very odd way. So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: …this all goes back to her knowing more than she lets on.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: It’s just a question of how does she get this information. Is it information that she had previously, or is she getting fed this information, somehow?

Andrew: She couldn’t have been getting – it couldn’t have been fed to her. She has no connections inside – inside Hogwarts, or any magical world.

Ben: Well, what about Arabella Figg? The neighbor that’s kept Harry…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …all these years. Well, actually, Petunia – no, but they… She said that Petunia and Vernon don’t know because they wouldn’t want her – him to spend time with her if they knew that he was going to be having a good time, so that wouldn’t make sense.

Jamie: I agree.

Andrew: I don’t know. I just… I just don’t think that she could have a source other than overhearing Lily and James.

Jamie: Yup. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup.


Last Days At Privet Drive


Micah: But I guess just to wrap it up real quick, it’s not even on here, what do you guys think is going to happen to her? Or even all of them as a whole?

Andrew: [laughs] I keep saying this. I just think she’s going to reveal something about Harry.

Ben: Yeah, she will.

Kevin: That’s got to be it.

Jamie: Yeah, she is.

Kevin: I don’t see anything happening to her, like, physically.

Micah: You don’t think the house is going to be attacked?

Kevin: I doubt it. No, I don’t see that happening. Why would they attack that – a house that they know Harry isn’t at?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it would send a message…

Ben: Because…

Jamie: …it would cause them to tighten their security, and it wouldn’t actually solve anything at all. I just don’t…

Kevin: And the only… The only day they’d ever attack is the last day that the – I guess the enchantment…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Kevin: …is on, you know? Once he… But I don’t see Harry being there that day, so [laughs]

Jamie: No, yeah.

Kevin: …who cares?

Micah: But didn’t Dumbledore say in the conversation that he has to return?

Kevin: Well, he…

Andrew: Until he’s 17.

Jamie: Until he’s 17.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: One more summer.

Kevin: See, that’s the thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: But even then…

Ben: Even then, he’d only be there shortly.

Kevin: The day he turns 17 is the day he leaves, so…

Ben: Well, say he doesn’t have to go back because the protection doesn’t matter anymore.

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: Dumbledore said that when he knew… Well, actually, actually perhaps he did know that he was going to die then. You know, if he planned it all with Snape, perhaps he knew then that he was going to die, so he told Harry to come back. Actually, perhaps he told Harry to come back, knowing full well that Harry wouldn’t go back, and he’d search for the Horcruxes and everything. I don’t know.

Ben: I don’t know. I’m not quite sure why he would do that, but…

Jamie: It just seems that if he. If we assume by that point that he had arranged with Snape – assuming that Snape’s good, of course – if he’d arranged with Snape then that he was going to die by then, I don’t know why he’d tell Harry to go back to the Dursley’s for one more summer. Because, I mean, he’s going to have to find the Horcruxes at some point, which means he’s going to have to put himself in direct danger.

Kevin: He’s going to have to leave, yeah.

Jamie: Exactly. So, delaying it for one summer seems pointless.

Ben: Right, and I don’t understand why that last summer would matter anyways, because school gets out in June…

Jamie: I know why it is.

Ben: …and his birthday is July 31st. So…

Jamie: I know why that is.

Ben: …they only have two months, anyways.

Jamie: It’s so he can home school himself and teach himself more than…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …he can learn in school.

Micah: But that’s an interesting point, Jamie, that if he was planning everything out, it makes perfect sense that he would go and remind Petunia because he wouldn’t be there to do it himself in the end. So, Petunia still has a big question mark on her, but I think that’s the conclusion we came to. [laughs]


Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will


Andrew: Last week, I brought up to everyone, well, I asked everyone to send in what Dumbledore has on his will. Because, I mean, come on, the guy’s pretty – he’s pretty big. He’s got to have something drawn out for everyone, so we have some entries. I’m going to read one right now. It’s from John of PA. He lists them, the Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will. [reads]:

10. Lemon drops to Severus Snape. God knows, he could be a little less sour;

9. Old boxes of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to Umbridge, wishing her the same fate;

8. The Pensieve I leave to Professor McGonagall, so someone has some sort of an understanding of what was going through my head. I’d leave it to Hagrid, but you know how free he is to share information;

7. All my books, I leave to Madame Pince’s restricted section so no one will ever be able to read them;

6. I leave my best mead to Professor Trelawney, so she doesn’t have to reek strictly of sherry;

5. I leave my ear muffs to Hagrid to go along with his umbrella;

4. To Ronald Weasley, I leave the first ever printed Chocolate Frog Card with my picture on it. Now you have seven of them;

3. For Hermione Granger, I leave all my gizmos and gadgets. You’re the only person who could ever possibly work them, anyway;

2. To Harry Potter, I leave Gaunt’s ring, just because I have nothing else to leave; and

1. To Dobby, I bequeath all my woolly socks.

Signed, Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore

Andrew: [finishes reading] And thank you, once again, to John from Pennsylvania.


MuggleCast’s Dating Service


Andrew: Moving on, as many people know, we like to help people out here on the show. Isn’t that right, Mr. Lawrence?

Jamie: We do.

Andrew: And we got this e-mail the other day, and we have to read it. Jamie, go for it.

Jamie: Okay, I will. Yeah, I will, yeah. So, this week, we have an e-mail from Aaron Nicholson, 15, from Nottingham, England, and he would like to ask one of our biggest fans, Sarah Bannister – Sarah, are you out there?

Andrew: [in girlish voice] Yes!

Jamie: He wants to ask if you will go out with him.

Andrew: [in girlish voice again] Yes, I will! Yaaay!

Jamie: Yeah, so please call him and tell him, “Yes,” because, you know, we don’t like unhappy relationships on this show. So, tell him yes…

Andrew: No way. Not at all.

Jamie: …that you’ve been waiting for him to ask you for years and years and years…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …and finally you can profess your undying love to him.

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: And you can both jog into the sunset, holding hands, living happily ever after…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …while still listening to the show on your iPods, of course.

Andrew: Remember your roots.

Jamie: Because you can’t forget us, the people who brought you together. So…

Andrew: You’re right.

Jamie: Please, Sarah, say, “Yes.” Please, Sarah.


Jamie’s British Joke of the Day


Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, you’ve also got a British Joke of the Day for us?

Jamie: I don’t have one. Oh, wait.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Yes, I do.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Jamie: Yes, I do. It isn’t really a joke, but…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: But before, I was trying to make a kettle, but I just couldn’t quite get a handle on it.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]


Voicemail – The Number Three


Andrew: Oh, that’s too bad. Let’s hit up the voice mails, and then we’ll get out of here. Here comes the first one, right now.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters! This is Nicole from Iowa City. I love the show, especially when Ben broadcasts [laughs] from weird places. I have a question for you guys: According to Dumbledore on page 426 of PoA, US edition, Trelawney has given two known prophecies. Both have concerned Voldemort, and that seems to be her area of specialty, so to speak. Throughout the books, Jo often uses three as a nice, round number, especially for magical events; for example, three Triwizard challenges, three times the Potters defied Voldemort, et cetera. Do you think it’s possible that Trelawney will give a third and final prophecy converting – concerning Voldemort and/or Harry? Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Bye!

Ben: I don’t think there’s going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Hmmm! Hmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

Ben: Oh I’m sorry, Jamie, but I don’t think there are going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Oh, Ben, you’re so negative!

Ben: I just don’t think there will be!

Kevin: Do you think there will be? Do you think we’ll actually see her in the seventh book a lot?

Jamie: Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her dreams!

Ben: I don’t think there’s a need for another prophecy.

Jamie: Apart from Prophecy 2007.

Kevin: Wait, when Harry was talking to Dumbledore, he – Dumbledore said he’s known her to give how many prophecies correctly? Was it two?

Jamie: You call yourself a fan, Kevin? Well done.

Ben: Yeah. [Laughs] Jamie’s in a bad mood; don’t mind him, Kevin.

Jamie: What’s the name of that guy who – uh, who’s in the books again? [laughs] What’s his name? Was it Harry?

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I think? Henry, that’s it!

Ben: Henry.

Kevin: Anyway, so doesn’t that – including Harry’s prophecy that she told Harry – doesn’t that make three?

Jamie: No. No, it’s one where she predicted that Peter Pettigrew would rise up again and join Voldemort and the original prophecy that she…

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Jamie: …that she did in front of Dumbledore.

Micah: You can’t just bring a prophecy out of nowhere at the beginning of the book, and expect it to be fulfilled by the end, and…

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. That’s enough foreshadowing.

Micah: …I think we already have one prophecy left that needs to be fulfilled, so I don’t think there’s going to be another one.

Ben: Yeah, there’s too much going on for another prophecy.

Jamie: And also Book Seven is all about choice. You know, it’s stressed throughout the entire series, and now it’s going to be all about what Harry wants to do, what Voldemort wants to do, you know? They can’t just find one more and it changes everything, I think. I don’t know. It’s an interesting theory, though.


Harry’s Boggart


[Audio]: Hi, this is Andrew Evans from Miami, Florida. I was wondering: in the third book Harry’s Boggart was a Dementor, but since he can repel them now without trouble, I don’t think he would fear them anymore. So if he saw a Boggart now, what do you think he would see? Thanks. Bye.

Ben: I think he would see the death of his friends, you know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Or Voldemort?

Jamie: Can you actually see those things?

Ben: With a Boggart he fears Voldemort dying? No, Voldemort’s not his worst fear.

Jamie: Exactly. He wouldn’t actually fear Voldemort, he’d fear what Voldemort, you know, could bring. It’s like…

Kevin: Could do, yeah, that’s true.

Jamie: Haven’t you always wondered? Do you honestly think…?

Kevin: Like the Mirror of Erised discussion.

Jamie: Yeah, but you know? Do you… It’s like I’ve always thought it was weird with Ron, the thing he fears absolutely the most is spiders. There has to be something he fears more, like, you know, emotional things, like being alone, or growing old and not having anyone to, you know?

Kevin: Ehhh… If you – if you have, like, a phobia, it’s some of the real most intense fear you can have.

Jamie: Oh okay, then.

Ben: I just think Ron seems a bit superficial, and that’s why his fear isn’t as deep.

Jamie: Well, there are other people as well. Who else? I mean, the moon is understandable for Lupin, but…

Micah: Yeah, but it’s possible it changes, though.

Kevin: There are people who are afraid of going on elevators. I mean, that’s their biggest fear; they can’t stand them. It’s just the physical and mental reaction they get to the situation.

Jamie: I guess so. I guess so. I just doubt that Harry’s would be Voldemort’s strength, you know?

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. I agree.

Jamie: But when Lupin says, after Harry says that he fears, you know, Dementors the most, he says that shows the thing you fear most is fear itself. Perhaps, you know, when he sees Dementors, he doesn’t actually – he doesn’t actually fear the thing attacking him, but he fears what they bring, so the memories that he has to relive.

Ben: So, maybe it still would be a Dementor.

Jamie: Yeah, I think it still would be. I don’t think he actually fears the thing, he fears what they can do. And…

Ben: Right, I just think… I think that it makes sense that the reason in Prisoner of Azkaban that Harry saw the Dementor wasn’t necessarily because he was freaked out by it when he saw it on the train.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: That may have had something to do with it, but it also has a deeper representation of him only fearing…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: Fear. Right.

Jamie: Concur.


Show Close


Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That does do it for Episode 57 of MuggleCast. We are off to LA, but the week after that we will be back with Episode 58. Once again, I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We will see you in two weeks.

Told you it was bad.

Transcript #56

MuggleCast 56 Transcript


Show Intro


Micah [Show Intro with music in background]: Because, “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” gets results, thank you Jo Rowling, 41 of Scotland…

Andrew: This is MuggleCast Episode 56 for September 17th, 2006.

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[speaks rapidly] Hello, everyone, welcome to the show. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: [speaks rapidly] I’m Ben Schoen.

Laura: [speaks rapidly] I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: [speaks rapidly] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Micah: [speaks rapidly] I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: [still speaking rapidly] We’ve got a great show for you this week. Before we go anywhere else, Micah Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast newscenter with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: Last week we reported that the Daily Mirror spoke to JK Rowling at a tea party in Edinburgh, celebrating the release of Driving Lessons. Regarding the progress of Book Seven, the UK tabloid quoted Jo as saying, “I’m up to about 750 pages now.” At the time, we told you it was highly unlikely Jo would give away how many pages she’s written. Now we have confirmation in the form of an update to the the Rubbish Bin at JKRowling.com:

She said: “I haven’t written 750 pages of book seven, and if I had, I’d be very worried, as I’m not close to finishing it yet. I was at the tea party for Driving Lessons, though, so this isn’t pure fiction. The journalist reports that I said that Rupert is ‘absolutely
terrific’ in the film. He is, so that bit shouldn’t be in the rubbish bin at all.”

Speaking of updates, clearly thanks to my rant on last week’s show, JK Rowling has added a new diary, news, and Extra Stuff entry to her official site. In her diary, she apologizes for the lack of updates recently and talks about her experience in New York for “An Evening with Harry, Carrie and Garp.”

Also, a NAQ (Never Asked Question) was added to the Extra Stuff Section: Why did Dumbledore have James’ invisibility cloak at the time of James’ death, given that Dumbledore could make himself invisible without a cloak? We discuss that later in the show.

The National Library of Scotland has obtained a $3.35 million grant in order to establish a “digital repository” to include blogs, journals, and e-mails written by leading Scots – JK Rowling among them. The digital works exhibited will all be of cultural significance and are set to be unveiled in 2008.

The Harry Potter box set containing Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, published in support of Comic Relief, now has a brand new cover.

And finally, Bloomsbury will re-release 21 books to celebrate their 21st birthday, including Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. According to Publishing News “All the titles will feature a short question-and-answer with the authors,
an introduction by fellow writers, and a reading guide.” No word yet on what Jo may include.

That’s all the news for this September 17th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


PO Box Update


Andrew: Oooooookaaaaaaaaaay. Thank you, Micah.

Micah: Oh, I’m here this week. Sorry.

Andrew: Yeah, you are here.

Jamie: So say…

Micah: You’re welcome.

Jamie: …”you’re welcome.” [laughs]

Andrew: Micah, we are so proud of you this week. I speak for the Harry Potter community…

Laura: [applauds] Yay!

Andrew:…when I say we are so proud of you this week.

Micah: What’d I do?

Andrew: But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Jamie: I think we’re proud and excited, to be fair.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We are.

Jamie: We are excited, as well.

Andrew: [unintelligible] great. Let’s have a few announcements first. Do not forget, vote for us on Podcast Alley. And a P.O. Box update, Ben.

Ben: Oh my gosh!

Andrew: You have a PO Box update for us?

Ben: Oh, geez. We have more letters than you can imagine.

Andrew: Quickly?

Ben: Thanks to, who is this here? Thanks to Harley Hoover from Peninsula, Ohio for sending us pickles. Paper pickles with each of our names on them. That’s very, very kind of you.

Laura: Awww. How cute.

Ben: We got some letters here from Alexis…

Andrew: Hold on, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second.

Ben: What?

Andrew: [takes deep breath] Pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle, pickle…[chokes on his words] All right. Go ahead.

Ben: We have letters here from Alexis from Liz Jaffe – Joffe. This person, I don’t know. They are from Oklahoma, but that’s all I know about them. Ummm, thanks to…

Jamie: Well that completely narrows it down.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …Miss Rownack Choudhury for sending me a Subway gift card. Thanks to Claire Fuller for sending in a letter. Someone else made pickle hats for us.

Andrew: Ooo. Are you going to bring all this pickle stuff?

Jamie: No, he’s going to keep it to himself.

Ben: Memorabilia? Merchandise?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, right. [shuffles papers]

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: Thanks to Leslie McGee for sending us a CD, I think this is? Yeah, a CD. Then, the pickle hats came from Jordana from Illinois.

Andrew: Ooo.

Ben: Like, these are hats like you wear on your head. Like, they’re paper hats. They’re kind of neat.

Andrew: Oh, cool.

Ben: Yeah, and then another letter came from Alex from New Hampshire.. So, yeah, there’s your PO Box update.

Jamie: Are you bringing these to California, Ben? Really? Are you bringing them?

Ben: Huh? The pickle hats? You really want your pickle hat?

Andrew: Yes!

Jamie: Of course I want my pickle hat!

Ben: I guess.


Announcements: Leaky Mug LIVE in California


Andrew: Leaky Mug, live in California September 28th. It’s going to be a fabulous…

Jamie: A blast, a blast. It’s going to be a blast.

Andrew: Yeah. A big event. Don’t forget to RSVP on LeakyMug.com. We got about 300…

Jamie: What’s RSP… Sorry, what does RSVP stand for?

Ben: Resendez s’il vous plait.

Jamie: Repondez s’il vous plait. Not bad, Ben. You get 8 out of 10 for effort.

Andrew: We have like 300 to 400 RSVPs already, so it’s going to be a big event. And make sure you get there early, because Borders is limiting it to 400 people, and it’s going to be a lot of fun. So… And also, join the Facebook event group, because cool people do that.

Jamie: Just for the fun of it. Just for the fun of it.

Andrew: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal: Harry Potter and Wicca


Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week – Jessica, 23, from Ohio has a rebuttal about the “Gimme a Butterbeer” from Episode 55.

Ben: Oh, she wants to have a go, does she?

Andrew: A comment was made, I’m not sure by who, about how the Harry
Potter books do not convert the readers to Wicca. While I completely agree
that Harry Potter does not encourage people to alter their religious beliefs in any way, I felt compelled to point out that HP does not relate to Wicca in any way. While it’s true that followers of Wicca are sometimes referred to as “witches,” Wicca is a valid religion that has absolutely nothing to do with things like flying broomsticks and magic wands. Just wanted to make that distinction. Love your show. Keep up the good work.

Laura: Yeah, it’s important to say that.

Jamie: It’s true. It’s true. It’s true, yeah.

Laura: Wicca is not an evil religion at all.

Jamie: Yeah, but, I can’t really remember it, but weren’t you just
pointing out that it’s a religion and you should really separate Harry
Potter and religion completely? Because, you know, once you start mixing
them, you just get into all the stuff about evil and stuff like
that.

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: It’s just like… I just think it should be kept completely separate,
you know. It’s a book series.

Laura: Well, yeah.

Ben: Fo’ sho’.

Jamie: Fo’ sho’, man. But, just check on, “Wiccapedia” and type in, “Harry
Potter.” [laughs]

[Laura laughs]


Listener Rebuttal: Dumbledore’s and Voldemort’s Power


Jamie: Okay, our second one is from Elenna, who is 16, from
east L.A. – hope you’ll be coming to the podcast – and the subject is, “Dumbledore and Voldemort’s Power.”

Regarding your discussion about if Dumbledore and Voldemort are just generally more powerful than the rest of the…

And I can’t read it because my AIM has just popped up. Somebody has signed off. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …are just generally more powerful than
the rest of the world, and why that is. Isn’t it possible they’re just
equivalent to what geniuses are in the Muggle world, but with magical
ability? Like, there are some people who are just regular, some who are
smart, and some who are super intelligent, or geniuses. The same can go for
the magical world. Though people can’t be more magical than others, they can possess different levels of talent in magic, as in the Muggle world with intelligence. This talent possibly follows the same laws as intelligence does with the Nature/Nurture theories. Great show. Peace out.

So, I guess she’s kind of saying that Voldemort and Dumbledore are the Einsteins of the magical world. Or the Leonardo DaVincis or something.

Ben: Definitely.

Jamie: I think that’s pretty true.


Listener Rebuttal: Harry Potter vs. Star Wars


Andrew: Erica, 24, of Chicago writes about Harry Potter and the Star Wars
connection that Jamie brought up last week.

Jamie only mentioned this briefly, but I think it was genius to make a connection between the levels of power in HP characters and the main players in Star Wars…

Ben: That’s not on MuggleNet or anything. He thought of that all by himself first. [laughs]

Andrew:Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Okay, okay. Wait a minute. Okay, Ben…

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Jamie: Okay, I don’t think I did… I didn’t… I did think of that myself. I didn’t get it off the site.

Andrew: Dumbledore is the equivalent of Obi-Wan Kenobi, a learned Master, a combination of great skill and experience and age. I’d pick him vs. Yoda, because Vader was Obi-Wan’s student. Voldemort is the equivalent of Darth Vader, an orphaned child prodigy with exceptional natural ability turned “less than human evil lord,” who passes on some of his power to the one who will have to defeat him. Harry is definitely Luke Skywalker. He inherited some exceptional abilities by being marked by Voldemort. So, if we follow the pattern in Harry Potter, the Masters of the Force, whether good or evil, are light years away, ahead of the rest of the Jedi in their ability. Luke never became a Jedi Master, and was able to defeat Vader in the same way that Harry, while he is more skilled or powerful than average wizards his age, does not have to become as powerful as Voldemort to defeat him. He only has to skillfully use what he knows. And even though there are some similarities, please don’t think I would ever suggest that Voldemort and Harry will share a “Luke, I am your father” moment. But maybe that would be a Crackpot Theory.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Next week’s one for Eric. But like… It could be like, you
know, she says it’s just one thing that Harry’s got to tap into. Like love,
you know. I mean, it could be that love isn’t especially powerful, but it’s
just the one thing that Voldemort can’t stand, and that one thing is, you
know, his weakness, and he just has to tap into that power or something and
use that against him.


Listener Rebuttal: Did Dumbledore know Wormtail was the Potters’ Secret-Keeper?


Jamie: This is from Carolyn, 19, from Connecticut:

In Episode 55, you were discussing Dumbledore and Voldemort’s magical powers. You mentioned that you thought that Dumbledore cast the Fidelius Charm on the Potters because it is described as immensely complex magic. However, we knew that Dumbledore gave evidence that Sirius was the Potters’ Secret-Keeper, and if Dumbledore was the one that cast the charm, wouldn’t he know that Wormtable, sorry, Wormtail was the Secret-Keeper? Love the show. Carolyn.

Ummm…

Laura: Yeah, she’s right. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, she’s right.

Andrew: We got a lot of rebuttals like that. So, that’s more of a
correction.

Jamie: So, to sum things up, we were wrong. Sorry, I was wrong.

Laura: Good job, guys.

Andrew: You were wrong. [laughs]

Jamie: I was wrong, yeah. Oh, come on. Please let the blame around slightly.

Laura: I wasn’t there, so you can’t blame me.

Jamie: We were wrong. We were wrong.

Ben: I wasn’t there, either, so I think…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Okay, both of you were wrong.

Andrew: It was just me, Ben, and Eric. Or no, me, Jamie, and Eric, yeah.

Ben: Let’s blame Eric because he’s not here to defend himself.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew:Yeah, that’s good. I like that. [laughs]

Jamie: It was clearly that Sirius was the Potters’ Secret-Keeper. I mean… I mean… Okay, I screwed up again. Whatever Carolyn says.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay, well that wraps up listener rebuttals.

Ben: [sings] Sweet Caroline. [speaks] Sorry. [laughs]


Micah Gets Results


Andrew: Well, last week on Episode 55 we premiered a brand new segment: “What’s Buggin Micah?” Coincidentally, Micah, this is pure coincidence, JK Rowling on Thursday, September 13 – oh no, Wednesday, September 13th – updated her website with lots of updates just a mere, a mere four days after, “What’s Buggin Micah,” premiered, where Micah flipped out on JK Rowling for not updating her website.

Laura: And you think this is a coincidence, Andrew?

Andrew: I’m just kidding. I just didn’t want to be modest.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, I just wanted to be modest. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I don’t know.

Andrew: Micah, what do you think about this? Are you convinced?

Ben: It was long due. It was due. So, I don’t know.

Andrew: Let’s just pretend like it was Micah and that Jo does listen to the show.

Ben: Well here, we have a little test here. Let’s have Micah…

Jamie: Ask for a million pounds.

Ben: …gripe about the title and see if it… [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Go ahead, Micah. Go for it.

Jamie: Micah, say…

Micah: [laughs] What do you want me to do?

Jamie: Just say…

Andrew: Say, “Micah.” I mean say, “Jo, give us the title.”

Jamie: Jo, she never gives – yeah, yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Do it, do it.

Jamie: I bet she gets it in the next couple of days.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Micah: Okay, okay.

Jamie: That’d be a pretty big coincidence.

Micah: Jo…

Andrew: Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, wait, wait.

Jamie: You’ve got to mean it from the heart, though.

p>[Micah laughs]


What’s Buggin’ Micah?


Andrew: Now, it’s time for the second installment of “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” Micah, go.

Micah: No. [laughs]

Jamie: Micah, mean it from the heart.

Micah: There’s nothing bugging me right now, though.

Andrew: No, this is bugging you.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: You told me about it earlier. Go ahead.

Micah: Jo, you must reveal the title of Book Seven by Halloween.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay. [laughs]

Ben: You heard it here, folks.

Jamie: Did that come from the heart Micah, or are you just…?

Andrew: Well, it’s funny, though. On the news post we made on MuggleNet.com, if you look through the comments [laughs] a lot of people say… [laughs]

Micah: They all thought it was my doing.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Like this one: “Hey, Micah, that rant of yours worked!” [laughs] It was pretty funny. Another one says, “Finally, she must have listened to MuggleCast.” [laughs] So, coincidence? Probably really good timing, yes. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah come on, very good timing, though. Very good timing.

Andrew: However, of course Jo listens. You know, this is her thing. She wants to hear us discuss.

Jamie: Didn’t she tell us that [laughs] when she goes jogging in the morning she…

Andrew:Plugs her iPod in?

Jamie: Plugs her iPod in, yeah, and just turns the show on.

Andrew: Actually, guys, I think that she actually dropped us a hint on her site.

Ben: What’d she do?

Laura: Where?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] If you go on, you know, JKRowling.com, you look at her diary. She says sorry five times. How many letters are in Micah’s first name?

Everyone: Five.

Jamie: 1, 2, 3…

Andrew: [laughs] How many times did she say sorry?

Ben: Five.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Five, huh? See the connection?

Jamie: Oh, god.

Andrew: Yeah, okay. [laughs]

Laura: We’ve been doing this way too long, Andrew.

Andrew: She dropped a hint.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: There you go.

Jamie: That’s a pretty big hint.

Andrew: It is.

Jamie: An anvil-sized one.

Andrew: I tried finding other ones but I couldn’t. That was the best one.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: So anyway, that was very good and a lot of people liked that segment last week, Micah.

Micah: They did.

Jamie: Should we change it?

Andrew: So, good work. “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” gets results.

Jamie: Should we change the “Chuck Norris/Dumbledore Quotes” to “Micah Quotes” now, because he’s pretty…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, he’s pretty powerful. [laughs]


Main Discussion: Why did Dumbledore have James’ Invisibility Cloak?


Andrew: So anyway, this leads us into our main discussion this week, which is about an update that Jo made on her site. Jamie.

Jamie: Okay, this is taken straight from her site:

“Why did Dumbledore have James’ Invisibility Cloak at the time of James’ death? Given that Dumbledore could make himself invisible anyway, does he really need it? Prior to posting this I had a quick look online and realized that some fans had been speculating about this question.”

That’s Jo by the way, not me.

[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: “However, nobody has ever asked me about it, and they really should have done. Just to allay the fears of the justifiably suspicious, this isn’t what we in the know call a Mark Evans situation.”

As in that, you know, we think it’s massive but it’s not.

“There is a significant, even crucial, answer to this question.”

So, our main discussion this week is: Why did Dumbledore have James’ Invisibility Cloak on him at the time of James’ death? Go.

Ben: Oh geez. That’s nothing but pure conjecture.


Was Dumbledore Unable to be Invisible at that time?


Jamie: Our questions for this, our first one is, number one: Is this simply that Dumbledore couldn’t make himself invisible at this time? Some people forget that Dumbledore was not ridiculously powerful from birth. Although it seems like he has always been one step ahead (e.g. when Professor Tofty said that during his N.E.W.T. examinations he could do things with a wand that, you know, nobody had ever seen before).

[Micah and Ben laugh]

Jamie: Magical abilities are clearly a product of age and experience. [laughs] What’s so funny about that?

Laura: You guys are so gross! You guys are so perverted!

Andrew: Grow up! Grow up. Be mature. God!

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Do you think that’s the case?

Andrew: I don’t think so because this was only 12, 13, however many years it was prior, and it’s not like Dumbledore developed all his skills in that – not 12 to 13 – 15, 16 years.

Jamie: How do you know, Andrew? How do you know?

Andrew: Because he was the Headmaster of Hogwarts!

Jamie: But how do you know, Andrew?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Because he was there after Harry died and…

Laura: [laughs] Harry didn’t die!

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] I mean, I mean, I mean… Oh, really? Oh, shoot.

Jamie: Digging a grave here, Andrew. It’s getting bigger and bigger.

Andrew: I mean James and Lily died. James and Lily died.

Jamie: I guess so. You’re still wrong.

Andrew: No, I’m not wrong.

Jamie: Are you? Are you? What do people think?

Laura: No, I think Dumbledore was able to become invisible on his own. I don’t think he would’ve…

Jamie: I’m just going to act as a…

Ben: Yeah, okay. JK Rowling said it’s significant. What significance would that hold? Just that he didn’t know how to become invisible on his own then.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t think that would hold any great key to the series.

Ben: So, we’ve established Andrew’s wrong once again. But… [laughs]

Andrew: No. [laughs]

Ben: …anybody have any bright ideas?

Andrew: No, we didn’t!

Laura: No, I think we just established that Andrew was right. [laughs]

Andrew: I’m just saying Dumbledore didn’t develop all his skills after Harry’s birth. He had them before Harry’s birth.

Laura: Yeah, so he…

Andrew: He’s an old guy.

Jamie: How do you know that? Okay, he is an old guy, but he could just…

Andrew: I don’t know that, but he was the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Jamie: But he could have read…

Laura: Well, that doesn’t really…

Jamie: …the book, “Becoming Invisible Without a Cloak,” just in those 15 years. You don’t know that he learned…

Laura: Yeah, but didn’t Dumbledore tell Harry whenever he was looking into the Mirror of Erised that, “I have my own ways of becoming invisible”?

Jamie: Oh yeah, he did. Yeah, but that’s after. That’s a long way after…

Laura: Yeah, but it just seems like the way he talks about it…

Jamie: It does, it does. It does.

Laura: …he’s been doing it for awhile and hoes accomplished at it.

Micah: So, he has his own ways of becoming invisible. He puts the cloak on. That’s his way of becoming invisible.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah [laughs]

Jamie: He sews it into his skin and he can turn it on and off by just thinking it or something.


Did James Purposely Give Away The Cloak?


Jamie: Let’s go into our second question: Did James purposely give the cloak to Dumbledore? Perhaps he knew that Dumbledore would give it to Harry or that his death was imminent. Ben, what do you think?

Ben: I think of course James intentionally gave it to Dumbledore. I don’t think that Dumbledore would steal it from him. So…

Jamie: Well, I didn’t mean that. I meant if he found it after his death or something.

Ben: Well, in the note that Dumbledore left to Harry he said that, “Your father left this with me shortly before he died,” right? Isn’t that what it said?

Jamie: That is very true, yeah. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: So, I don’t know why he would give it to Dumbledore.

Laura: Well, we’ve talked about this before and I think the consensus we came to on that episode was that he left it to Dumbledore for…

Jamie: We don’t come to consensuses. We don’t come to consensuses. [laughs]

Laura: Well, sometimes we do. Rarely, rarely we do and in this case…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …we decided that James left the cloak with Dumbledore because he knew that Dumbledore would give it to Harry. But it seems like there’s got to be something a little bit more prominent going on there, seeing as it’s a crucial clue.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: Or bit of information.


Where Was The Cloak After The Potters Died?


Jamie: Well, let’s go onto the third question, which is kind of redundant now.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: if he didn’t purposely give it to him, where was the cloak after the death of the Potters?

[Pause of silence]

Laura: With Dumbledore because he said he left it… [laughs]


Did Dumbledore Get The Cloak in Godric’s Hollow?


Jamie: Okay, okay fair enough. [laughs] Question four. Question four: Did Dumbledore go to Godric’s Hollow to get the cloak?

Laura: Well, it all depends on whether James gave it to Dumbledore before or after the Fidelius Charm was performed, because obviously Dumbledore didn’t do it. So…

Jamie: But how far – sorry.

Laura: If Dumbledore didn’t perform the charm and he wasn’t the Secret-Keeper he couldn’t find the Potters, so James would have had to given it to him prior to going into hiding.

Jamie: That is true, but how long before they died was the charm performed? Do we know?

Ben: No.

Laura: Well, only a couple of weeks.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: They said that within two weeks of it being performed Voldemort found them and killed them.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: But obviously we know it had to have been sometime in that year that Harry was born, because he was only a year old whenever Voldemort attacked them.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Laura: So. it couldn’t have been that far in advance.

Jamie: Do you think he gave it to him with all of his other possessions? Or do you think he sort of sat them down and said, “I’m giving you this cloak because,” you know, “because it’s special and you need to do something specific with it.: I think it could be that one.

Ben: Well, I don’t think he intended to leave it with Harry because…

Laura: Why not?

Ben: …I don’t think that would’ve been his intentions.

Jamie: Well, because Dumbledore just said, “It is time that it is returned to you,” didn’t he? He didn’t specifically say, “Your father gave this to me to leave you.”

Ben: Right, because… But, no, why would James predict that if they were going to be killed that his son would make it through?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: Because no parent ever wants to imagine that their child’s going to die. They are going to want to leave options…

Jamie: He brings up a fair point though, doesn’t he?

Laura: …just in case their kid lives.

Jamie: He brings up a fair point, that, I mean…

Laura: Yeah, but do you know any parent that’s going to say, “Well, you’re absolutely going to die, so there’s no point in making plans for you…”

Jamie: Yes, yes.

Laura: “…because you’re going to be dead.” [laughs]

Ben: Well, they’re not necessarily making plans. I mean….

Andrew: Why would James give it over in the first place? Why does he have to assume that he’s going to be the one dying?

Jamie: No, no, no, but, the odds there… He thinks if Voldemort… He didn’t realize that Lily’s love was in place, so he thought that, “If Voldemort can kill me, who you know, is clearly a pretty advanced wizard, he isn’t going to have any trouble with a small baby boy.” So, perhaps he gave it to him for, you know… Maybe it is a Horcrux, Ben.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Well, why… Okay, if you think about it… What I’m trying to say is, perhaps
James gave Dumbledore the cloak for a reason other than to give to Harry
later on….

Laura: To give to Harry.

Ben: …for his own personal use.

Jamie: No he did, Of course he did. Because he couldn’t have envisioned that
Harry would – was going to live, you know, even though in his soul, in his
heart he must have absolutely begged him to live he had to think about. You
know?

Ben: I mean, of course, who wants their kid to die?

Jamie: Yeah and, but, or perhaps he gave it to Dumbledore to cover Harry. I
don’t know.

Andrew: Cover Harry? With the cloak?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah and take him somewhere or something. Ben…

[Andrew, Ben and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I doubt…

Ben: That’s enormously significant in Book Seven.

Jamie: Huh?

Ben: That’s enormously significant in Book Seven.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I’d laugh if it was Ben, because I would never let you live that
down.


Properties of the Invisibility Cloak


Andrew: I just don’t see how the cloak could unless there’s something more
to the cloak and no don’t say Horcrux.

Micah: Well, could he use the cloak to go through the veil.

Jamie: Ooo.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: What would the cloak do?

Ben: I don’t know just throwing out a crazy theory.

Jamie: Because the veil wouldn’t think that anyone was there.

Andrew: Well perhaps, perhaps… Okay, hold on, perhaps there are some
properties to the invisibility cloak that we don’t know about. Perhaps… Like what I’m trying to say, perhaps…

Laura: Well, yeah.

Ben: …it does more than make you invisible. Like there’s something else
that it does for you.

Jamie: Like what?

Ben: That’s the thing, I don’t know.

Laura: Well, we know that they’re really rare, so there’s got to be
something special about it other than invisibility.

Jamie: I’ll give you ten points if you can tell me which creature you can
spin hair from to turn into invisibility cloaks.

Laura: Ummm…

Jamie: It begins with a “D.”

Laura: Demiguise

Jamie: Very good, very good.

Laura: Yeah!

Jamie: You get ten points. It’s pointless really.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But you do win ten points.

Ben: It’s like Whose Line is it Anyway.

Laura: Beat me at a trivia contest next time.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Okay well now I want to look this animal up and see
if there’s anything special. Like you would think that if there is going to
be some amazing revelation about the invisibility cloak there would have
been some foreshadowing in the books already. Like-

Ben: Well there could be they just haven’t recognized it.

Andrew: Harry noticed that when he wore the cloak a spell deflected off of
him.

Ben: I know, I know but she’s not going to do that. She is going to make
subtle things. They would be subtle insinuations.

Andrew: I know. I know it would be in passing.

Laura: Yeah, like remember… Do you remember the way – do you remember the
way it was described, like it felt light as air yet when it, like flowed
over his fingers it felt like water. He said it felt like liquid air, so
clearly there’s something just really bizarre about this thing, because it’s
not just fabric.

Jamie: It makes you invisible, it’s pretty bizarre already.

Laura: Yeah and she just, the way she described it kind of played it up to
be something even more special.

Jamie: Yeah. Oh, I think it is more special, but…


Cloak Used For The Order?


Andrew: Well that was sort of… That was getting somewhere it did seem like.
What if Harry or what if James had given it to Dumbledore, for Dumbledore
to give it to an Order member, because maybe James would have thought that
an order member had…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …a more important use for it.

Jamie: That’s the very sort of crucial answer though, that’s pretty general.

Laura: But why wouldn’t James give it to that order member then.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because an order member might have needed a – might have had a
better reason to use it than James did.

Laura: Yeah, but why wouldn’t. No, I’m saying is…

Jamie: Why wouldn’t Dumbledore have given it to her?

Laura: …if James wanted to give it to an order member why wouldn’t James have given it to them?

Andrew: Because maybe, depending on the situation, who knows what was going
on then with the Order, when all that was happening. They could’ve been all
spread out across all of England or whatever. Maybe James just couldn’t
directly deliver it to him.

Laura: They wouldn’t need to they had magic.

Andrew: And Dumbledore was going to see him for coffee.

Laura: They have owls.

Ben: No, what I think we are missing here is that he…

Andrew: That’s not safe though.

Ben: I think the reason that why James gave it to Dumbledore is the thing
that is significant.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Not what the cloak is used for.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, but it could be like he gave to him because it was needed somewhere.

Ben: I’m not saying that we should expect, oh in Book Seven Ginny’s going to get
alive using the invisibility cloak.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah okay. How rare are they? Because he could have just given
it to him. Because, you know, it’s a rare thing. He’s go to, you know? It’s
something valuable, which is clearly going to come in useful at some point.

Andrew: It seems strange, didn’t Moody have two of them?

Laura: Yeah, he did.

Jamie: Yeah. But one was a bad one, wasn’t it?

Laura: But then he had all sorts of, he had all sorts of Dark Arts things
that no one else had.

Andrew: Yeah, he just collects them.


Differences in Invisibility Cloaks


Ben: Could be a possibility that the invisibility cloak is – that particular
one – is enchanted somehow because, even though they’re rare I don’t think
they all share the same properties.

Jamie: It’s a two-way invisibility cloak. He can use it to talk to James
from beyond the grave.

Laura: Is it possible – we know that wands have different powers depending
on what kind of animal their magical core came from. So, say the demiguise
that Harry’s cloak was woven from had some sort of weird power. Would that
make it more unique?

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Than the others?


Jo Is Messing With Us


Micah: I think she just likes messing around with us. That’s what I think. She
put this out there – if you think about it, what did she really tell us on
the site? See now you’re going to get me angry again.

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Micah: She didn’t tell us anything of significance. Nothing on that site was
of any significance.

Laura: Yes, because she wants us to speculate about it. She’s trying to bring
attention to it.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: She’s trying to bring attention to it.

Andrew: She’s got to keep the fandom going, [laughs] she realizes that this book is taking a while.

Jamie: Yeah, because Harry Potter’s dying, isn’t it?

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: It is!

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: And she has got to restart it.

Andrew: No. I’m saying…

Ben: Yeah, I bet she doesn’t have enough money so she needs more people.

[All laugh]

Andrew: [laughing] No! What I’m saying is she likes to see the community active like this, so she throws this stuff out there every once in a while to get everyone going and get everyone excited.

Micah: Watch. It was just a birthday present. That’s all it’s going to turn out to be.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Maybe, maybe.

Ben: Oh yeah, the most significant birthday present in – yeah.

Laura: How would that be significant? [laughs]

Andrew: Well yeah, that’s the thing. She says it’s not another Mark Evans situation.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.


Where Did James Get The Cloak?


Laura: Well, where do you think James got the cloak from in the first place? Do you think it was a family heirloom or…

Ben: Wasn’t it? Or do we know? I’ve read too much fan fiction, I’ve confused the heck out of myself.

Laura: I don’t know if it was ever said. Yeah.

[Laura and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I think a lot of people have assumed that it’s a family heirloom, but I’m not sure that it was ever specified that it was.

Jamie: I don’t think you can go out and buy one can you, though? I mean, can you just go out and buy them?

Laura: Well yeah, that is why it would make sense that it was something passed down through the family.

Jamie: Yeah, well, exactly. Are they rare in that you see them in shops, but their few and far between and very expensive?

Laura: I don’t think we’ve ever seen one in a shop. You would think if you could get one you could get it in Knockturn Alley, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen one there.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they aren’t evil are they?

Ben: Well of course they have to be expensive, or otherwise everyone would have them.

Jamie: No, because they could be rare as in…

Laura: You can’t even buy them, it’s not something you can really buy.

Jamie: …I don’t know, some type of animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben: But guys, if they are going to be rare than they would be very expensive to acquire one.

Jamie: No, because they could command high prices, but you just can’t buy them.

Laura: What if it’s something that you have to get because of something you do? For instance, Moody has it because he’s an Auror or he was an Auror. What if – I mean we don’t know much about Lily’s and James’ occupations. I’ve always kind of wondered what Lily’s was, because Jo said that James didn’t really need to have any kind of high-paying job because he had plenty of gold. So I was always under the assumption that Lily did something a little more important, and maybe it was hers.

Well what do you guys think it was that – assuming that invisibility cloaks are given out because of an important job, do you think that maybe Lily did something important with the Ministry? Like maybe she was an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries?

Jamie: Who? Lily? Oh.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: A Bode or a Croaker? I don’t know.

Laura: Mhm.

[Jamie, Laura, and Ben laugh]

Andrew: But how would she have inherited the cloak? You were saying that she had a more respectable job than James did.

Laura: Well I’m saying…

Jamie: [laughs] What did James do?

Laura: The only people we’ve ever seen in… Well, I think the only other person we’ve seen in the books who has a cloak is Moody, and he’s an Auror. So, isn’t it pretty safe to assume that you only get those cloaks based on some kind of important occupation?

Jamie: Could be, yeah.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: No, I think it’s based on need though more than how important your job is. Aurors are trained in stealth and stuff.

Laura: Well obviously if you’re doing something… If you’re an Auror or you’re an Unspeakable you’re obviously going to need forms of protection. An invisibility cloak could offer some form of protection.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. That is true. Yeah.

Andrew: But then it got in James’ hands, how? Lily just handed it over to him? Wouldn’t she want to keep that for herself as sort of like a…

Laura: Well no, because once Voldemort is after you, you’re screwed. It doesn’t matter.

Andrew: But you would still want to keep it.

Laura: Yeah, but what if there was some greater cause as to why Dumbledore needed it? That’s the thing. I think that Lily would sacrifice that.

Micah: I’m just looking at the way that she worded the question, because she never words things the wrong way; and she says “at the time of James’ death.” She doesn’t bring up Lily, she specifically refers to James. I don’t know. It’s almost like she’s saying why did he have it at that exact moment, so you almost think that he was there when it happened.

Ben: Whoa, whoa. Micah Tannenbaum, I love you.

[Laura, Andrew, Jamie, and Micah laugh]

Ben: But seriously though. It’s important that… Okay at the time of James’ death, wouldn’t she say the Potters’ death? You know what I’m saying?

Andrew: Yeah. That’s how you see it everywhere else referred to it.

Laura: I don’t think Lily’s alive if that’s what you’re trying to say. [laughs]

Micah: No, I’m not.


Was Dumbledore in Godric’s Hollow?


Ben: Well, do you think it could be possible that Dumbledore was in Godric’s Hollow that night?

Laura: That’s… I’ve been kind of wondering about that.

Ben: No, but if you think… Would he stand idly by and watch them be killed though?

Laura: I don’t know.

Micah: Like he’s holding the invisibility cloak in one hand [Laura and Micah laugh] with a weird expression on his face. Oops.

Laura: Well, hey, that… There’s still something about that odd twinkle to Dumbledore’s eye at the end of Goblet of Fire when he found out that Voldemort had Harry’s blood. What if he’s evil?

[Everyone laugh]

Micah: Where’s Rachel?

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: What if he was evil, he was.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: No, but also the other thing that kind of debunks the Lily idea is that she refers to it as James’ invisibility cloak.

Laura: Yeah. I see those.

Ben: Yeah, that too. If it was Lily’s invisibility cloak, why would James give it to Dumbledore? You know?

Andrew: Well, Lily could have told him to give it.

Laura: Lily told him.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Do you want to…

Ben: I know, but if it was something that was her personal possession.

Micah: So he was whipped? Is that what you’re saying?

Laura: Yes.

Micah: He just did everything that Lily told him to do.

Laura: Yeah, just like I think Harry’s whipped by Ginny, so…

Jamie: Oh yeah, he is.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: She sorts him out, she sorts him out.


Theory From CoS Forums


Andrew: Do you want to read a theory off of CoS Forums? Maybe get this going a little bit more? This goes a little deeper, further than what we’ve been saying. This was posted on CoS forums by Eli C, a first year. He quotes Sorcerer’s Stone, “Your father left this in my possession before he died, it is time it was returned to you, use it well, a very merry Christmas to you.” And Eli says, “The cloak was probably left unintentionally with Dumbledore by James. I say this because Dumbledore did not say, ‘He gave this to me to use it for whatever purpose.’ It said James mistakenly left it, thus the, ‘he left it in my possession.’ We can theorize that Dumbledore did not have it intentionally and there is a strong possibility that the cloak was being used by a member of the Order. My thought is that it was James. Keep reading for more on this. Dumbledore only had it in his possession for a short time when the Potters were killed. Otherwise, such an important object of protection would have been returned quickly, especially if they were in danger. Remember that although Dumbledore is at school with Harry, Dumbledore asked Harry to keep the cloak with him at all times.

Jamie: Ooh, yes. But, if that’s the case, then…

Laura: But how do you forget an invisibility cloak though?

Andrew: Well, hold on, there’s more. “I think James was secretly tailing Snape under the cloak the night of the Prophecy. He followed Snape, overheard the conversation between Snape and Lord Voldemort, in which Voldemort chooses Harry as the One. Snape, realizing what he’s done, turns to Dumbledore, and at some point James reveals himself either while Snape is with Dumbledore or right after he leaves. Remember that Snape knows that Harry and James’ cloaks are one in the same. So, it is probable that James revealed himself while Snape was with Dumbledore in conversation. During this conversation or possibly heated discussion James sets down the cloak on a chair, discusses things with Dumbledore and Snape rushes off to Godric’s Hollow and his family to keep safe. Dumbledore finds Sirius to be the Secret-Keeper, but then they choose Wormtail, cast the Secret-Keeper charm and the next day or so, James and Lily are killed. Snape did not know who the Secret-Keeper for the Potters was and therefore did not know that they would be killed. Besides, Death Eaters do not know each other, per se. See Book Four, I believe. There’s more, but… [laughs]

Jamie: Do you think that if he could do that, I mean, if I had to be invisible, I’d want a way that Dumbledore chooses, rather than a cloak, because it’s a crude way of remaining invisible. You know, if there’s a strong wind…

Andrew: Yeah.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It flaps up from the bottom then you’re going to see your feet, or, you know, it’s just seems… It is very crude. Or if you trip over and it flies off.

Andrew: Or footsteps. [laughs] You can hear footsteps, too. It’s not…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s not the same as…

Jamie: Yeah, but, yeah. It just seems very crude. But it’s an interesting theory, though.

Ben: Well, hold on. Do you think that that’s a case that Dumbledore needed to use the invisibility cloak?

Laura: No.

Ben: Because, perhaps… Oh, never mind.

Laura: No, say it, Ben.

Ben: Well, I was just going to say maybe Dumbledore’s invisibility that he can do by himself – never mind.

Andrew: Just say it.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Just say it. No theory is safe.

Ben: Yeah, I know. I’m just saying that [laughs] the invisibility cloak has to have something special about it for Dumbledore to use it over his own invisibility. There.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Thank me, Captain Obvious.

Andrew: If you’re wondering why there’s a lack of more discussion, that’s because we’re recording this on the same day that the news broke. So, we were a little tight for time for planning more of a thought-out discussion.

Jamie: We’re also quite tired.

Andrew: We are quite tired. It’s 9:21 here on the East Coast.

Jamie: Oh, well, you know…

Laura: It’s 9:13, you’re so full of crap.

Andrew: It’s 9:22, Laura! [in nerdy voice] My Mac is synced with the U.S. government time zones, it can’t be wrong.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: 9:13.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Is everyone slow in Georgia?

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Laura: Yes, actually, it’s funny that you should ask.

Andrew: But if you have your own theories, feel free to send them in and we’ll probably discuss this more next week on – but shoot, we’re recording early. Listen to the show on Sunday, get them in by Sunday night. We’re recording Episode 57 much earlier next week. Get your theories in. I’m sure there will be some waiting in the MuggleCast e-mail box, and we’ll talk about it more on next week’s listener rebuttals.


Dumbledore-Norris Facts


Anyway, moving on. Just in time, right after Jamie says he’s tired, it’s time for Dumbledore and Chuck Norris facts.

Jamie: The book, Lord of the Rings, was revised from it’s original. The first one had Frodo taking the One Ring to Dumbledore to destroy it.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Hey Jamie, as a matter of fact, someone actually sent in a letter…

Jamie: Yeah?

Ben: …a letter that had some Dumbledore quotes on it.

Jamie: Oh, nice.

Andrew: Next.

Jamie: Dumbledore once used an Engorgement Charm on a small hill. That hill is now known as the Himalayan Mountains.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Dumbledore performed the Aguamenti Charm only once. The result left 70 percent of the Earth covered in water.

Andrew: Ooh. [laughs]

Jamie: Okay. Oh, I’m sorry. These are thanks to B.D., 27, from Alabama. [laughs] Okay, here’s one: A basilisk is born of a chicken’s egg hatched beneath a toad, but Dumbledore was born of a dragon’s egg hatched beneath a Hippogriff.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That’s a kind of, you know. That’ll do for today.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew, that’ll do for today.


Voicemails – Homeschooling


Andrew: That’s plenty. Now it’s time for this week’s voicemails. [laughs] Here’s the first one, from Amanda:

[Audio]: Hi, this is Amanda from Wisconsin. I just wanted to say I love your guys’ show and I have a question. When you guys were talking about, on your last episode, that if Hogwarts was to close, they could be home schooled, how would the students who are Muggleborns be taught? Because their parents, you know, don’t do magic. So, just wanted to see what you guys thought. Thanks, I love your guys’ show. Bye.

Andrew: Laura, you’re our home schooling expert. Tell us. Because you always stand by the – and I’m not trying to insult it or anything, I’m just saying you always stand by the…

Laura: Well, I think it’s also important to point out that I was forced to argue that point by the person who came up with this segment – thank you, Ben. And, while I…

Jamie: What segment is it?

Laura: The debate segment.

Ben: So, are you admitting that you have a substandard education, Laura?

Laura: No, I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying that you can’t really compare a Muggle education to a wizarding education because any parent can teach you math, however, any parent can’t teach you wizarding. There would have to be some sort of supplement.

Ben: No, any parent can’t teach you calculus, I’m sorry.

Laura: No, I’m saying any parent…

Ben: If my mom tried – my mom couldn’t teach me basic addition. [laughs]

Laura: Ben, I’m saying, I’m saying that any person, any person can study mathematics because it’s a universal thing. Not any person can…

Jamie: I can’t.

Laura: Yes, you can, Jamie.

Jamie: I’m [censored] at it. [laughs]

Ben: No, you can’t. You cannot study that.

Laura: No, you – yes, anyone can study it.

Ben: Once you get to advanced levels, you can’t.

Andrew: Yes, you can.

Ben: No, you can’t. You have to have some instruction.

Laura: No, you can study it, Ben.

Andrew: In books! In books!

Jamie: No, you can’t. No, you can’t.

Laura: It doesn’t mean you have to be a genius at it.

Ben: Okay, that’s like saying you can read a book on how to fly a plane and you’ll know how to fly a plane.

Andrew: Well, that’s different.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: No, it’s not. It’s not. That is completely different.

Ben: It’s the same thing.

Laura: No, it’s not.

Ben: Okay, you can’t teach yourself calculus.

Laura: Some people can.

Ben: Okay, Laura.

Andrew: Someone had to invent calculus, Ben.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: Okay…

Andrew: That’s a silly statement.

Ben: [laughs] Shut up, Andrew. You’re wrong.

Andrew: [laughs] No, I think what Laura is saying is magic is completely different because there’s a wand involved and there’s a certain way you have to flick the wand and there’s a certain, you know, you’ve got to concentrate…

Ben: No, but there’s the same, the same – you have to go through another process. You have to go through a process with math, too.

Laura: The thing is, though, that everyone can study math. Not everyone can study wizardry. So, there is a difference between Muggle studies…

Ben: Okay, everyone can – no, no. We’re going to come to the same playing field. Everyone wizard can study Potions.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: That’s what we’re saying.

Laura: Yeah, but not – yes.

Ben: They’re different subjects.

Laura: Yes, but we’re not talking about home schooling kids who have wizarding parents, we’re talking about home schooling kids who have Muggle parents.

Jamie: They can still do it, though.

Laura: What I’m saying is…

Jamie: If they’ve got the magical ability, they can do it. They can do it, they can teach themselves out of a book.

Laura: Sure, some people can read stuff, but not everyone is adept at teaching themselves. That’s true, they’re not, and so you would have to come up with some kind of system where you sent tutors. There are actually some home schooling systems where kids go to pick up their work two or three times a week, and they meet with teachers and tutors, and they do their lessons. They bring it home, they do their work at home, and then they take it back for grading.

Ben: Okay, if you were a Muggle parent…

Andrew: We don’t need to do a whole debate out of this.

Ben: …would you want to… No, I’m just curious…

Jamie: No, this is fine. This is fine.

Ben: …send your kid into a wizarding household, where they’re likely to be killed?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: If you were a Muggle parent, would you want to send your child to a wizarding school where they’ll likely to be killed?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Snap, Ben.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: No, I’m saying it defeats the whole purpose.

Laura: It’s the same thing.

Ben: No, I’m saying it defeats the whole purpose of not sending them to Hogwarts.

Laura: No, it’s not…

Ben: If you’re going to send them somewhere else to be home schooled.

Laura: You don’t – no, you don’t have to send them to live with that person, they can use the Floo Network to get to and from…

Jamie: But Laura…

Laura: …everyday.

Jamie: Laura, coming back to the voicemail. Do your parents teach you, or do you do it all yourself?

Laura: No, I do it by myself.

Jamie: Okay, well that means that a student, a student who is Muggleborn – sorry, a wizard who is Muggle born – can do it, too.

Ben: No, they can’t because…

Laura: Sure, some of them…

Ben: No, listen, listen.

Laura: They can, Ben.

Jamie: Of course they can, Ben.

Ben: How did you learn to count to a hundred? Did you just, one day, wake up and say, “One, two, three, four…”

Jamie: But that’s primary. That’s kindergarten, that’s kindergarten.

Laura: No, that’s very different, Ben.

Ben: No, it’s not. No, it’s not. You have to have – someone has to help you establish the base in order for you to be able to build upon it. I mean, if you don’t have any base to build upon, then you’re not going to be able to enhance your education.

Jamie: The point is, though, Ben, people learn those things at primary school, whereas stuff like magic, you know, it’s like, we see in Hogwarts, it’s… You need to… You can’t be taught how to hold your wand and wave it so something happens. You have to learn it from, you know – you’ve got to learn it yourself. It’s like juggling; it’s just practice that does it.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: You can’t… Somebody can’t say to you, “Chuck one into the air and then move it across a bit. Then chuck the other one into the air, then catch it, then do this.” You have to learn it.

Ben: Yes, they do. That’s exactly what they do.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yes, but it’s trial and error, Ben.

Ben: I – I know, but you have to have someone give you a push in the right direction. If you’re a Muggleborn – like swish and flick. Look, Flitwick spent a lot of time teaching them how to flick their wands the right way. You’re not going to be able to figure – imagine how long it’s going to take you to figure that out on your own. I’m just saying…

Jamie: You will. It’s written down. If it’s written down you can.

Laura: Are you saying that because, that because kids are home schooled, they can’t have teachers? Because that’s not true. I have teachers. I can contact them via e-mail. So there’s no reason that if a student was having trouble, they couldn’t write to their teacher – they couldn’t write to the person who wrote their course material.

Jamie: Yeah, well, exactly. Yeah, and…

Ben: I’m tired of being right, guys.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No, okay. I think that you can – you can learn math to a point, and that point might be pre-calc or calculus.

Jamie: I cannot do Kevin’s math, man.

Andrew: Right. Same thing…

Laura: It depends…

Andrew: Same thing…

Laura: It depends on your abilities.

Andrew: Hold on, hold on! Yeah. You can learn magic to a point, but that point is basic – very basic magic.

Laura: There comes – the thing is…

Andrew: Because there comes a point in learning, going through your Hogwarts career that – or just your learning magical career that you will absolutely need a teacher.

Laura: The thing – there’s a thing that some students can teach themselves independently all the time. Some students can’t, and that is why if there was any kind of homeschooling program, I honestly, despite the debate last week, I don’t find it feasible that Hogwarts would close down. I don’t find it feasible that students would home school. I’m saying that it’s not an impossibility. I’m saying that people – people could do it…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: …if there was some kind of conflict that made, that would allow for homeschooling to go on because it wouldn’t be safe to be at Hogwarts. It would have to be an alternative that people would take.

Jamie: I just think that it’s obvious that they can do it, though, because if you think Dumbledore and Voldemort couldn’t have get…couldn’t have got…couldn’t have been taught what they’ve learned…

Laura: Mhm.

Jamie: …over and above the basic stuff. They had to learn it themselves by trial and error and it’s only by trial and error that you can do it.

Laura: There was a time when there was no school…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: …and people had to have educated themselves on magic.

Andrew: Okay, well, there you go. [laughs] This discussion could really go on forever.


Voicemails – Lily’s Eyes


[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast. This is Alexia from Seattle and I was just re-reading Goblet of Fire and I was at the part where Moody’s doing the Imperius Curse and Harry is good as resisting it, and he says, “Watch his eyes, that’s where you see it – very good, Potter, very good indeed!” I was thinking maybe that’s the power that Lily’s eyes have – that they’re able to resist the Imperius Curse, because Lily fought Voldemort when he said, “Step aside” and he probably used the Imperius Curse on her, so I was just wondering what you thought. Thanks. Bye.

Laura: Well, yeah. That’s why a lot of people thought that whole bit in Prisoner of Azkaban the movie was foreshadowing where…

Andrew: About Lily’s eyes?

Laura: Yeah. About how she could see people for what they really were.

Ben: Well, what I think, I think the Imperius Curse has a lot to do with your, your ability to have control over your actions. I don’t know if it has anything… I don’t know if the eyes are as significant as…

Laura: Yeah, but the eyes are the window to the soul, Ben.

Jamie: No, but…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …you can just see it in the eyes. It’s just like a reflection of what’s happening inside… I don’t think your eyes… Have you guys seen Minority Report, the film?

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Okay. [laughs] When, when Tom Cruise – if he was good at withstanding the Imperius Curse before he had his eyes changed, he’s still going to be able to afterwards.

Andrew: [laughs] Or anything in general. At life.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. He’s still going to be able to afterwards.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: His eyes aren’t actually going to make any difference. Amen.

Andrew: Yep. Micah, what do you think? Is there a connection? Is there a link between the soul and the person’s eyes? Do you think there’s a little, a little, a little nerve that runs from the eye to your soul?

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Oh yeah, absolutely. Doctors have proved it, in fact.

Ben: No, what I think, I think that… I mean, if you look in someone’s eyes, you can get…

Laura: You can tell what they’re feeling.

Ben: I know. You never just sit there and stare into someone’s… Yeah, you can tell like, their emotions, all those types of things. And like, there’s this girl at my school who I tell her she has the eyes of Satan because…

[Everyone laugh]

Ben: Every day I see her, I tell her she’s the devil child because…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Why?

Laura: Oh, my god.

Ben: I don’t know. I just look into her eyes and her pupils are like smaller than most people’s, like, they’re tiny and black and…

Jamie: Oh, well that settles it. She’s clearly – she’s clearly the…

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Andrew: The devil.

Jamie: …the anti-Christ, then. Yeah. Well, Ben, if you’d told us that, we would’ve completely agreed with you.

Ben: See, the devil. See, Moundridge High School has everything, Andrew. We have the smartest people, we have Satan, we have…

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: [laughs] I see.

Jamie: Personal libraries.

Ben: [laughs] No, but you can tell – you can tell everything about people through their eyes. Not everything, but you know what I mean. Like, you can tell about how sweet their eyes are and how, how compassionate they are. That type of thing.

Jamie: Did you try and chat – chat that girl up, Ben, with that line?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: “Hey, I just thought I’d tell you…”

Ben: Actually, I sang an Elton John song.

Andrew: Yeah, by the way you’re supposed to announce the winner for that this week.

Ben: Actually, I did choose the winner.

Andrew: Well, let’s do it at the end. Micah, do you have to go now? Before we move on to our next voicemail?

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Micah, where are you going?

Micah: Yeah, I do.

Andre: What are you doing? Are you going to a ‘Jo Rowling listened to me’ party?

Micah: I actually have to go speak to Jo…

Andrew: Oh!

Micah: And thank her for updating the site.

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: She’s meeting Micah under the Brooklyn Bridge.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Laura: Say hi to her for us, Micah.

Micah: Okay.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: All right. See you Micah.

Jamie: Bye Micah.

Micah: All right guys.

Andrew: Micah Tannenbaum, everyone. Gets the results.

Micah: I’m still here.

Andrew: I know. I wasn’t making fun of you yet.

Ben: Oh, I was going to say, “Micah has friends?”

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Micah: All right, Ben. Wait two seconds to do it, and then you can say it.

Ben: Okay. Sign off, Micah, so I can talk crap about you.

Micah: Ready? I’m hanging up now. All right, go for it.

Andrew: Okay. See you. Go ahead. Good.

Ben: Are you serious? Micah is social?

Andrew: [Laughs] Ben.

Jamie: Come on, come on.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Next voicemail.


Voicemails – Fawkes


[Audio]: Hi MuggleCasters. This is Kathleen calling from central Australia where it’s been hitting it down the drains the past few days. I’m just calling with a question about Fawkes. What do you reckon his role will be in the seventh book? I’ve heard a lot of theories about maybe he’s Godric Gryffindor’s pet, or all the things connected with Voldemort and Harry’s wand and things like that. So I’d be interested to hear what you think. Anyway, bye!

Laura: I think Fawkes is going to peck Voldemort’s eyes out like he did the Basilisk.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Laura: And that’s just going to be the end of it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: He clearly… But don’t you think that the battle at the end of Book Six, sorry, Book Five, in the Ministry, I thought showed two things specifically. That in a duel, Voldemort would defeat Dumbledore, because if Fawkes hadn’t been there, that spell would have hit Dumbledore, yeah?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: And killed him. So, unless you consider Fawkes to be part of Dumbledore.

Ben: When did Fawkes save Dumbledore at the Ministry?

Laura: Yeah, he ate the…

Jamie: Where he swallowed the Avada Kedavra spell, and then it created him again so he doesn’t die. First of all, it showed that because of Dumbledore’s advanced age and everything that Voldemort would defeat him.

Laura: Yeah, but then – but Jamie, if Voldemort can defeat Dumbledore, then I think your Dumbledore-Norris comparisons are pretty much over.

Jamie: No, no, no because in terms of wizarding stuff, yes, but if…

Ben: Dumbledore in his prime would spank Voldemort.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Spank?

Andrew: Whomp.

Ben: Spank.

Jamie: If Chuck Norris and Dumbledore went after Voldemort, he just, he’d run and try and find all of his Horcruxes so he could die quickly and save some pain.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Both of them together would be a… So anyway, the second thing that it proved, I thought, was how powerful Fawkes is. If he could swallow sort of the most powerful spell – one of the most powerful spells – and just turn into a baby again, even though he normally dies and turns into a baby, but if he can just take that spell like it’s absolutely nothing, and come back again, then that proves how powerful he is. And he clearly is an extremely powerful bird, because just like in the Chamber of Secretes when he dragged them all to the surface. And I think he’ll play a big role…

Laura: Yeah, but is that anything…

Jamie: Do you think he’ll be Harry’s pet?

Ben: What about the phoenix song? Do you guys have any idea about the phoenix song? We kept hearing it in Book Six, didn’t we?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: It inspires courage in the hearts of the true, and inspires fear in the hearts of the bad minded.

Ben: Well, maybe that will play a role again, you know? Just because…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: What? He’ll just start singing and Voldemort will cry and…

Ben: Yeah, Voldemort will just crumble.

Andrew: He’ll peck his eyes out, and then he’ll bring out Godric’s sword.

Jamie: But do you think he’s now Harry’s pet now?

Laura: Yeah, I think he’ll…

Jamie: Because he clearly was extremely fond of Harry.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, like he stroked him and everything. That would be awesome if he was Harry’s pet.

Laura: I think that would make sense for Dumbledore to leave him to Harry.

Jamie: Yeah, in his will.


Dumbledore’s Will


Andrew: Does Dumbledore have a will?

Laura: Probably.

Andrew: That’d be sweet.

Ben: Well, if he’s planning his death. I think he planned his death, so he certainly did have a will.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Hmmm. That hasn’t been brought up before.

Ben: He wouldn’t die unprepared.

Andrew: Everyone send in their top ten items on Dumbledore’s will.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Seriously. andrew at staff. Subject: Dumbledore’s will, and I’ll read them and never do anything with them. So…

Jamie: Apart from read them, which is pretty important, Andrew.

Andrew: Yeah. Read by me, ho ho ho!

Jamie: The ultimate thing.

Andrew: The ultimate compliment.

Laura: What do you bet one of the things on that list is going to be pickles?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]


Dating Service Update


Andrew: I’m telling you, the pickle craze is picking up. That’s all the voice mails we got from everyone this week, and we’re almost out of show here. Quick dating service update: We got a lot of applicants, but there are too many, and it’s so confusing. Everyone’s all over the map with what they’re asking for and stuff. Send a new dating service request. In the subject, put your name, city, and state…

Laura: Now…

Andrew: … And what you’re looking for.

Laura: Now, Andrew…

Andrew: Guy or girl. And age. All in the subject, all in the subject, in that order that I just said. Rewind it.

Laura: Now, Andrew, when you say that people were all over the place [laughs] with what they wanted, are you saying they should lower their expectations?

Andrew: [laughs] No! No! What I’m saying is… What I’m saying is people are asking for different – it’s just confusing, all the e-mails that I have. That’s all I’m saying. It’s not very organized. I’m having a hard time…

Jamie: But Andrew…

Andrew: …sorting it all.

Jamie: [laughs] …it isn’t a real thing! Think about it!

Andrew: Huh?

Jamie: This isn’t a real thing!

Ben: This is for real, you guys. [laughs]

Andrew: No, this is for real, and I tried to…

Jamie: Andrew…

Andrew: … get a couple together…

Jamie: How many couples have – how many couples have got together…

Andrew: Jamie!

Jamie: … since MuggleCast’s…

Andrew: Jamie?

Jamie: …dating service started? [laughs]

Andrew: Was Rome built in a day?

Jamie: Yes, it was! It’s a lie!

Andrew: No, it wasn’t! [laughs]

Jamie: Dumbledore and Chuck Norris…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: …banded together and built it in half-a-day, I think.

Andrew: No, we are serious about this dating service thing. There’s a free dinner in it for you if you send in your e-mails, and, you know, we find good matches. They have to live near each other, and I have to do background checks on these people. I can’t hook people up…

Ben: [laughs] Be careful!

Andrew: … with pedophiles! How would I feel?

Ben: Andrew’s dad has a government connection.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: He’ll check us all out.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I can’t believe he told us that.

Andrew: Yeah! [laughs] He really didn’t, though.

Ben: Riiiiiiight.

Andrew: So, mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Dating service rewind to hear the order that I said in the subject line, ’cause I’m too lazy to try to remember it, and that’s that.


Winner of Ben’s Candle in the Wind Contest


Ben: I’d like to announce the winner of the Candle in the Wind parody. It comes from Cameron Smith, and I’ll post it on the website. I’ll give you a little preview of the first verse here. Jamie, would you like to join me in the song?

Jamie: Uh, no.

Ben: Please? [dings] Goodbye, Dumbledore…

Jamie: I don’t know it, Ben, so [laughs] how can I join you in it?

Ben: [continues singing] Though I never knew you at all, you had the skill to Apparate

You will?

Jamie: No, no, no, no. Just sing it. Just sing it.

Ben: [continues singing] While those around you crawled…

Jamie: I can’t sing, anyway.

Ben: You crawled into the Ministry, and they whispered into Fudge’s brain. They removed you from the Wizengamot ’cause they thought that you were insane. And it seems to me you lived your life like a Phoenix in the wind…

[Laura and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Never knowing Snape would betray you when you let him in. And you probably should have killed Tom when he was just a kid…

[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Ben: [continues singing] Your Phoenix burned out long before your legend ever did.

Laura: [still laughing] That was quite good.

Ben: That was my beautiful rendition.

Jamie: That was good. Andrew, Andrew, I just want to point out why Ben did this competition. It was just so he could sing…

Andrew: So he could sing! Yeah! Pretty much.

Jamie: …Elton John on the show.


Contact Information


Andrew: [laughs] Oh, important note: Episode 57, we are going to be recording earlier in the week, so it’s going to be a little – the show might be a little different. Probably not Listener Rebuttals, because this Episode 57 is going to be the last show before…

Ben: Ever. [laughs]

Andrew: …California. Yeah. Ever.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Before our live podcast and we’re all moving around. I’m going to be in England with Jamie, drinking tea.

Jamie: Yeah, eating crumpets.

Andrew: And Ben will be at Notre Dame with Emerson, drinking, well…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’ll leave your mind open on that.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: And … [laughs]

Ben: Orange juice.

Andrew: Orange juice! Anyway, contact information: You can…

Ben: PO Box…

Andrew: Yep. Go for it.

Ben:

PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas, 67107.

Andrew: You can also call us in the United States. Dial 1-218-20-MAGIC, and in the United Kingdom, dial 020-8144-0677. And if in Australia, dial 02-8003-5668. If you have a question that you want us to answer on the show, you have to call it in. We always get questions via e-mail.

Ben: By e-mail.

Andrew: But we can’t answer them! We like the voice mails. It’s a sound show. And I like reading all the e-mails.

Ben: One more thing…

Andrew: And also… Hold on. Skype the user name MuggleCast, too. That’s another way of calling if you don’t want to dial the number. Just add MuggleCast to your Skype list. Keep your message under thirty seconds, listen to my awesome voice mail, where I say, “Pickle,” like that, and…

Laura: Are you kidding me? Did you actually edit…

Andrew: And also e-mail feedback form at MuggleCast…

Laura: …that specifically for that?

Andrew: I didn’t edit. I just re-recorded it earlier today. [laughs]


Fudgesickles


Ben: Another thing, Happy Birthday to my dear friend, Savannah. She’s a good Harry Potter fan. She listens to the show. I met her in Las Vegas. So, yeah. Happy Birthday.

Andrew: Here come all the birthday requests! [laughs]

Ben: I know, but I had to do this one. Fudgesickle.

Andrew: Fudgesickle?

Ben: It’s just like pickle, dude. It’s the new thing.

Andrew: No! Ewww! No!

Ben: Fudgesickle!

Andrew: Ewww! No!

Ben: Come on!

Andrew: Ewww. Okay – Fudgesickle.

Ben: Fudgesickle.

Andrew: Fudgesickle – pickle?

Ben: No.

Jamie: Oh, no, no. That’s so, so strange.

Andrew: [laughs] That’s going overboard.

Ben: Can we leave that in? That’s a good one.

Jamie: Let’s change it to crumpets.


Show Close


Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: Seriously, though, when we are in California, we want to see everyone with their pickles and their MuggleCast merchandise and all that. So, anyway, that wraps up the show. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: [speaks rapidly] I’m Ben Schoen. [laughs and slows down] I’m Ben Schoen.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: [speaks rapidly] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Wow. That was quick! [laughs] I didn’t even hear it!

Jamie: How’d you know I said it, then?

Andrew: Sorry, I forgot. There’s also – Don’t forget to join our Frappr map. I love – We love looking at pictures of you.

Laura: No. Andrew…

Andrew: No, seriously. Everyone go on our Frappr map.

Jamie: What’s Andrew going to say now, Ben?

Laura: Andrew loves looking at pictures of you.

Jamie: Ben?

Andrew: Okay, fine.

Jamie: What’s Andrew going to say now?

Andrew: I wanted to be…

Jamie: All right. What’s Andrew going to say now? [imitating Andrew] “You’re all a bunch of really good looking people, so you know dudes, send your photos!”

Andrew: You’re an attractive bunch. [Laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, see that’s right.

Andrew: I want to see your pictures. [laughs] No seriously. It’s fun looking at…

[Laura Laughs]

Andrew: Okay, that just sounds weird! [laughs] So, anyway!

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: Join our Facebook group, and we have a MuggleCast MySpace group coming very, very, very soon. And by very, very, very soon I mean…

Laura: Never. [Laughs]

Andrew: Soon. And by soon I mean I don’t really know.

Ben: And by soon he means when the guy finally gives it to us.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Well, he ran into a problem with it. That’s why there’s been a hold up. So, that’s it. We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 57. Fifty – Yeah, 57. [laughs]

Ben: He’s lost it.


Listener Comments


[Show music plays]

[Audio]: Hi. This is Howard in England, and I’m calling to say that the debate that you had, at the beginning I thought that Ben and Jamie were right, but I’ve got to say that Laura and Eric, they covered it. They were really good. Great debate. Well done. they stayed on topic, stayed on a point, and so I’m agreeing with them now. Good job!

[Audio]: Hi. This is Jillian from New Jersey, and I just wanted to say that people say people from Jersey talk fast, but Jamie, you beat us all. I love the show! Keep it up! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast! This is Sonia. I’m 15 from the UK, and I just wanted to say that I really, really love your show, and it’s the highlight of my week. I listen to it every week and it’s all great. And I just wanted to say thanks for being so great, and cheering me up when I’m upset and everything. So, thank you! Bye!

[Audio]: Hi. This is Paul from Damascus. I was just wondering how to get a web link on the MuggleCast dating service. Because it’s really hard to find someone that likes Harry Potter around here, and just trying to hook up, you know? Well, thanks! Bye!

[Show music ends]


Special Song By David C.


Andrew: As a special bonus this week we have a special song made by David C. of Reading, Pennsylvania. He took clips from last week’s episode, Episode 56, to show how musical we were. Enjoy!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: What’s buggin’ Micah? Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo! What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah? What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo!

[singing to the tune of the theme song] Na na na na na na na na!

What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah? What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Eric: [singing] I’ve got a peaceful easy feeling!

Andrew: What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Jamie: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Andrew: Dumbledore was whomping McGonagall! Ahhh!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah. Dumbledore-Norris Facts! Yay!

Laura: Yay!

Andrew: What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah? Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo! Huh?!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: Huh?!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: While I was downloading the episode! Oooh!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Ben: To get to the other siiide!

Andrew: Back to school edition! What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo!

Ben: I’m saved by the bell. It’s all right…

Andrew: Ooooh oooh oooh! What’s, what, what’s buggin’ Micah. Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo! What, what, what’s buggin’ Micah?

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: What, what, what’ buggin’ Micah? Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo!

Ben: Bom! Bom bom bom!

Andrew: Duh duh la duh duh la duh duh la doo! Is he a wallflower?

Jamie: Is he a wallflower?

Andrew: [in deep voice] Is he a wallflower? Is he a wallflower?


Bloopers


Jamie: Care and attention went into making them.

Ben: If you want your pickle hat I’m going to have to pack another suitcase just full of PO box crap.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh yeah, because a hat must take up so much room, Ben.

Ben: [in mock Brittish accent] It take up a lot more room than you think when you’re going to be gone for over a week…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, well Ben!

Ben: You need plenty of space for your clothes, Jamie.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, okay.

Jamie: Well, Ben, you wouldn’t do that because you wore the same shirt for the entire two weeks we were away in New York. So… [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Oh, is this the joke when I’m not around? That you…

Andrew: No, I’ve never heard that.

Jamie: No, that’s the first time I’ve said it since I said it in Vegas, you paranoid…

Ben: No, I know, I know.

Jamie: Ben’s like [imitating Ben] “Dude! You’re talking about me behind my back, man! Dude! Dude!”

Ben: No, I know you do. I know how you operate, Jamie. I know how you operate.

Jamie: Okay, Ben! Okay, Ben, don’t even think about going there…

Ben: You made fun of my shorts, you made fun of…

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Let’s argue about this after the show.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: The shorts that I wore. Just because there’s a lot of pictures of me with those shorts on doesn’t mean I wore them every day!

Jamie: [laughs] Well, you did, though!

Ben: No, I didn’t!

Andrew: Sorry, but those pictures were every day.

Jamie: You did wear them every day!

Ben: I did not wear them every day.

Jamie: It’s those red – those red…

Andrew: Let’s keep going.

Jamie: Andrew, this is funny stuff. Put this stuff in. People will like it.


Jamie: [laughs] This is just weird. Dumbledore hexed [censored] the go… Oh that’s terrible! I can’t do that!

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: I just got that, suddenly.

Ben: Say it. Andrew, edit it out. I want to hear it.

Jamie: Okay. Dumbledore hexed [censored]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I didn’t get that at first!

[Ben laughs]

Ben: You guys, that is ridiculous.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I didn’t… Oh my god, that’s terrible.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Roni, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #55

MuggleCast 55 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because I screwed up last week
calling Episode 54 “Episode 55,” this is MuggleCast Episode 54 – but really
55, for September 10th, 2006. Does that make sense?

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[Andrew hums Intro music]

Andrew: Don’t you guys like this music?

Ben: Yeah, it’s excellent. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s very good. It’s very good.

Eric: John Williams at his best, Andrew.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I think I’m the next Bono.

Jamie: It’s a drunk John Williams recording. He got back after a few drinks
and thought “I’m going to have a quickie on the keyboard.” [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: And that came out.

Andrew: Jamie, we don’t appreciate that kind of language on here.

Eric: Yeah, especially – well, you’re half way there, Andrew.

Jamie: What, “keyboard”?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: “Keyboard” is pretty disgusting, isn’t it? The word
“keyboard”.

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show, but Ben – what’s up? There’s a lot
of noise going on, here.

Ben: I’m in my library and my Spanish teacher is trying to talk to me right
now while I’m trying to record this.

Andrew: Can you tell her to “shut up-o”, please-o?

Ben [laughs]: No, I can’t do that. They say “cállete.”

Andrew [laughs]: Anyway, to the introductions.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: And this is the late – no it’s not the latest. This is the show
where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions
and lots of Potter pickles. It’s been catching on, and I couldn’t be more
proud.

Ben: And Moundridge High School libraries.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Ben, is there no one else – how many people
are in that library? It seems kind of quiet.

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: No one’s in there at all. It’s Ben’s personal school library,
you see.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Oh! [laughs] I see.

Jamie: In Moundridge each person gets their own library with a sort of
kitchen, bedroom, a plasma TV, all that kind of stuff. It’s pretty special.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Well, actually, actually I’m sitting on a giant, soft, comfy chair, which is very, very comfortable. And – yeah.

Jamie: You get three of those, don’t you, Ben?

Ben: Yeah, three of those, and actually, there’s a kid on the couch laying
down and staring at me right now.

Andrew: Ask him what he thinks of Harry Potter.

Ben [to student on the couch]: Hey, what do you think of Harry
Potter?

Student: I don’t know.

Ben: He doesn’t know.

Andrew: [laughs] Ask him if he’s on pot, because it certainly sounds
like it.

Ben: [to student on the couch] My friend wants to know if you’re on
pot.

Student: No.

Ben: No, he’s not on pot.

Andrew: No? [laughs] Anyway…

Ben: We’ll go around and get more opinions from Moundridge High School
students here in a bit.

Andrew: Ooh! That sounds exciting.

Jamie: Yeah!

Ben: Very exciting.


News


Andrew: [laughs]: But before we do anything else, Micah Tannenbaum is
in the MuggleCast News Center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news
stories.

Micah: Lord Voldemort was voted the number one villain in the
BigBadRead, an online Bloomsbury poll to find the UK’s favorite literary
villain from a children’s book.

Here’s what Jo had to say about this “honor”:

I am thrilled and honored beyond words that Lord Voldemort has been voted
best villain in the Big Bad Read poll. I am not sure how he would react to
knowing that he had won a Muggles’ unpopularity poll. A mixture of pleasure
that you recognized his power and menace, coupled with fury at your nerve at
mentioning his real name, I think. His author, however, is absolutely
delighted.”

MuggleNet staffer Natalie attended the premiere of Driving Lessons starring Rupert Grint and Julie Walters, in London’s Leicester Square. She managed to do a short interview with Rupert Grint, and also spoke briefly to Emma Watson, Julie Walters, and Bonnie Wright. You can check those out over on MuggleNet.com.

Driving Lessons hit theaters Friday in the UK. To coincide with its release,
a tea party was held earlier in Edinburgh. According to the Daily Mirror, JK
Rowling went along to support Rupert.

She tells The Ticket she is half-way through writing the seventh and
possibly final book, but the 41-year-old Scottish author is keeping
tight-lipped over rumors she’s planning to kill off Harry.

“I’m up to about 750 pages now, but I’m not telling anyone what happens to
Harry,”
she says. “I’ve just come along to support Rupert who’s absolutely
terrific in Driving Lessons.”

Just keep in mind The Daily Mirror is a British tabloid, not exactly known for its accurate reporting.

Pope Benedict XVI’s senior exorcist claims the Harry Potter books contain
innumerable positive references to magic, “the satanic art.”

“Behind Harry Potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the
devil,” he told Vatican Radio. And according to the Daily Mail newspaper in
London, he added that the books attempt to make a false distinction between
black and white magic, when in fact, the distinction “does not exist,
because magic is always a turn to the devil.”

Yeah, I always find myself going into a hypnotic trance, floating above my
bed, while chanting indecipherable languages after I finished a re-read of
Prisoner of Azkaban, don’t you? You’re a senior exorcist! How about
becoming a lawyer? At least then people will believe what you say 20% of
the time as opposed to 10% of the time. And I hear the pay is better too.

Moving on, a recent interview was conducted with Alec Hopkins, the actor portraying
young Severus Snape in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He
discusses filming, talking with Alan Rickman, and how he ended up with the
role.

Entertainment Weekly has ranked the fourth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, #36 on its list of the best “high school movies” of all time.

That’s all the news for this September 10th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back
to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah.


Announcements


Andrew: A couple announcements before we move along. T-shirts – MuggleCast
t-shirts. Purchase your t-shirts, k-thanks-bye.

Ben: Yeah, t-shirts.

Andrew: Also, Podcast Alley – don’t forget to vote. It’s a new month.

Don’t forget, boys and girls – Leaky Mug Live in Los Angeles, California on September 28, 7 PM, at the Borders of Westwood in L.A.

Ben: Westwood. Yeah.

Andrew: Yes, it’s going to be a fantastic event. We’re all going to be there. So, come out and support, represent, wear your MuggleCast t-shirts.

Jamie: Say hello.

Andrew: It’s going to be a lot of fun.

Ben: Wear your MuggleCast t-shirt.

Andrew: But, please do RSVP on LeakyMug.com, so we know that you’re coming.


Listener Rebuttal – Sirius and The Mirror


Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week. Zoe…

Ben: Let me do it. I want to read this one.

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: Our first Listener Rebuttal comes from Zoe MacLeod, 17…

Jamie: McCloud. McCloud.

Ben: McCloud. From Newport Beach, California – right there in the heart of the O.C.

Hey guys! Love the show! Anyway, I was just thinking, maybe Sirius did
have the mirror with him when he fell through the veil but the reason that
Harry couldn’t contact him was because he had the say “Padfoot” instead of
“Sirius Black.” If James and Sirius did make the two-way mirrors, it would
make sense that they would use their nicknames like they did on the
Marauder’s Map. Just wondering what you guys think.

Jamie: Have we got to assume that if he went through the veil with his
mirror, that he’s still alive down there? Sort of bored out of his mind.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: I think he’s down there eating Lucky Charms, you know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yes, he is, he is.

Eric: Well, he…

Jamie: Andrew’s dad went to…

Ben: The veil? [laughs]

Jamie: The Department of Mysteries and…

Ben: And he threw a few boxes through. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Put his head through, and he’s like “Hey, Sirius, you getting a bit
hungry down there, are ya?” [laughs]

Eric: And then there was that whispering beyond the veil, “Thanks, mate.” But I
think we’ve discerned that it’s not the Killing Curse that hit Sirius when
he fell back into the veil to begin with, because he had time for his eyes to
widen with shock.

Jamie: It’s the hungry characteristic.

Eric: Curiosity characteristic. It’s kind of like “What’s going on?”

[Ben laughs]

Eric: He might still be alive down there just eating Lucky Charms.

Jamie: Eric, you’ve just completely ruined that beautiful moment. When his
eyes widen, by using an over-used Americanized expression, like “Hey, what’s
going on?”

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Sirius did not think, “Hey, what’s going on?”, trust me.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Okay, Jamie.

Jamie: Stuff went through his mind like, “Oh my god, I’m never going to see my
godson again. Oh my god, my house! Oh my god, all my friends!” Please don’t
cheapen it by saying that he thought “Hey guys, what’s going on here, dude?”

Eric: Well, no.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: It said that “he had an expression of mixed shock and curiosity on his
face.” “Hey, what’s going on?” seemed to depict that. Well, he could have
also been saying [sings] “I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling.”

Jamie: I don’t think he thought of singing.

Ben: Thanks, Eric.

Eric: Maybe he just thought that – he said, “This is a particularly
interesting phenomenon that is being observed right now. I wish that I would
not be falling backwards.”

Jamie: But rather forwards? To the great delight of the Ministry of Magic.

Eric: Yes.

Ben: Right. [laughs] Our next Listener Rebuttal…

Andrew: An interesting point though. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back… We
never really responded to the actual rebuttal.

Jamie: No, we didn’t.

Eric: Well, I think it’s… I don’t think that’s correct, because even though it’s – I think
it would of came with extra instruction if… Sirius would’ve given Harry a
little bit more in the note if he had to say “Padfoot” instead of “Sirius
Black.”

Andrew: Right.

Ben: Eric makes a fair point.

Eric: Or Harry would go up to it and say “Well, this thing is broken, because
I say ‘Sirius Black’ and it doesn’t show me him.” And then he would throw it and break it.

Andrew: Yeah, but then…

Jamie: But it’s not future – I don’t mean future, I mean it’s not like sort of security proof. That doesn’t make sense. But, you know what I mean? It’s not…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Anyone could walk up to it and say, “Sirius Black,” whereas the name “Padfoot” is only known to a few people so…

Ben: That’s true.

Andrew: More secure?

Jamie: It’s like, yeah. It’s more secure.

Eric: Whereas, the Marauder’s Map, you need to specifically say, what? “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” Do you mean like that kind of secure? Like, it’s not…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of. It’s like, if you knew it was Sirius’ then you could just walk up and say, “Sirius Black,” whereas…

Eric: Or…

Jamie: If you said, “Padfoot,” you have to actually think about that.

Eric: Yeah, and if they were the only pair in the world, you could just say, “Other mirror,” and [laughs] it would probably work.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, exactly, yeah.


Listener Rebuttal – Availability of The Two-Way Mirror


Andrew: Next rebuttal.

Ben: Our next rebuttal comes from Jimmy Rose. “In your last episode there was some discussion about the commercial availability…”

Andrew: Hold on, wait a second, wait a second. Hold on.

Ben: What?

Andrew: It’s interesting how Ben suddenly wants to do all this reading. I kind of think he’s showing off for the crack addict there.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. I think he’s…

Ben: Oh yeah, yeah, I’m showing off for the two people…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: …in the library.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Ben: I’ve done the reading before.

Jamie: Are you charging them both rent, Ben?

Ben: What?

Jamie: Or is it just like – are you charging them both rent in your library? Or…

Ben: [laughs] Yes, I am.

Andrew: He’s charging – he marketed it as a Live Podcast at his school and only two people showed up.

Jamie: Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Ben: I’ve been selling t-shirts all day. Selling…

Andrew: Yeah, okay. [laughs] Anyway…

Ben: Our next listener rebuttal’s from Jimmy Rose.

“In your last episode, there was some discussion about the commercial availability of two-way mirrors. Given what we know about the wizarding world, this seems unlikely to me. In Britain at least, there are two main areas for wizarding commerce – Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. If you consider what is for sale -or at least what’s mentioned as being for sale in the books – you’ll find that most of it has to do with food, joke items, clothing, animals and broomsticks. We’ve yet to see the wizarding world’s version of The Sharper Image. In fact…”

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Ben: “…we’ve got a lot of evidence that there is a lot of call for convenience items. Take for example the Remembrall. It lets you know that you’ve gotten – that you’ve forgotten something, but gives you no help at all in remembering what was forgotten. If that’s the best way they can…” [laughs] “If that’s the best they can do…”

Jamie: This is poorly read, Ben, I must admit.

Ben: “…for commercially available personal organization…”

Sorry, people keep walking in here and looking at me. [laughs]

“…I find it hard to believe that you’d walk into a store and find something as useful as the two-way mirror.”

Anyways, we know what he’s saying – we know what Jimmy is saying here.

Jamie: I agree, but it could be like a special mail order item that you can only get from a certain – from TwoWayMirrors.com.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Or something like that. It’s like… It could not be a sort of. It could just be like a patented item that only one company sells. Or something like that.

Andrew: [mocking Jamie] Pain-te-ted. Pain-te-ted.

Jamie: Well…

Ben: Patented?

Andrew: Like Linux.

Ben: Linux.

Eric: You know what’s interesting about the Remembralls, is that they were banned from the O.W.L. tests in Book Five, but I find that interesting because they aren’t actually supposed to tell you what you’ve forgotten. Or, like, according to the movie.

Jamie: Yeah. You could have forgotten anything.

Ben: You going to know you’ve forgotten something…

Eric: Why are Remembralls, you know… I mean, unless it’s like… If it’s good on a multiple choice answer where you’re like, “Okay, I think it’s B,” and then it says, “You’ve forgotten the truth,” or something.

Jamie: Because it’s still an aid that stops your thing.

Eric: It is an aid, yeah.

Jamie: But, the thing is, this is also about Felix Felicis. It says it… Slughorn says that it’s a banned thing in competitions, athletic events, so, you can only use it on an ordinary day. But what constitutes an ordinary day? It’s like that, which is why I don’t see how Felix Felicis could possibly ever be allowed, really. Because, who decides if it’s an ordinary day? But, that’s completely gone off on a tangent, so…

Eric: Yeah, I like what…

Jamie: …I think we should get back to Jimmy Rose.

Eric: I like what Jimmy Rose was saying about convenience items and also how the wizards want to impress each other with different gifts and things.

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Eric: I think that’s cool. But, obviously, a lot of that is also Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, like the Ford Anglia. So…

Jamie: Yeah. But he points out that wizards like to change ordinary items like using unheard of magical spells, that kind of thing, to change them for their own good, like the Marauder’s Map. It’s clearly taken a strong bit of individual personalized magic to make it how it is. And so, the two-way mirrors… I mean, I think they just bought two mirrors…

Andrew: And enchanted them.

Jamie: …from the mirror shop in Hogsmeade, yeah. And enchanted them.

Eric: And I think there are several other rules that they could work with if they wanted to do that. Such as, the rule of seven, which seems to be present, at least to Voldemort and Horcruxes. Seven is a magical number. And also the rule of pairs, as described by Dumbledore.


Tangent: Phone Booths


Jamie: Yeah. Can we just talk about… Jimmy mentions the phonebooks – the phone booth outside of St. Mungo’s.

Eric: Yeah, that’s…

Jamie: Sorry, outside of Purge and Dowse.

Eric: Saint…

Andrew: Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: No, no, no, no.

Eric: It’s Purge and Dowse, yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, sorry. The Ministry of Magic. No…

Andrew: It’s the Ministry of Magic, isn’t it?

Eric: We should have given Leaky that question.

Jamie: No. It’s the Ministry of Magic, isn’t it?

Eric: Yeah, it’s the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: Yeah, sorry, yeah.

Eric: The phone booth.

Jamie: It seems… Yeah. This is completely off on a tangent again, but I was just thinking, it seems a bit weird that they choose that thing to get into the Ministry because it’s – one person’s number in the real world has got to end in “MAGIC” or start in “MAGIC.”

Andrew: Yeah, but there are only… Well, that phone – does that phone really work?

Jamie: Yeah. No, yeah.

Ben: No, no. I doubt it actually dials out.

Jamie: Because I would be scared if… I would be scared if I was sitting there, if I was standing in there and I dialed my friend’s number and the phone booth…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …went down into the earth. I’d think something was screwing up.

Andrew: Yeah, but it’s just, “MAGIC,” and in the book it’s described that nobody would ever approach it because it’s so worn down.

Eric: There’s like shattered panes of glass.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s…

Ben: You probably have to dial out anyways.

Jamie: There had to be somebody who…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: What do you mean, you’ve got to dial out?

Ben: Well, sometimes you have to enter a number.

Andrew: Well, if you just dial “MAGIC” and stop, then it’ll…

Jamie: Oh, well. Yeah, but somebody, somebody who’s read the Harry Potter books will probably go there now and…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah, no. That’s like saying somebody…

Jamie: And dial, “MAGIC.”

Ben: No, that’s like saying somebody would have to be able to stumble on…

Jamie: I’m joking, Benjamin.

Ben: No, no. I’m saying that’s like saying someone could be able to stumble upon Hogwarts. It could have the same anti-Muggle charms that Hogwarts does.

Jamie: Yeah, it could, it could. But there must be some easier way, though, of doing it. Yeah, I mean, it probably does, but still.

Ben: Of course, there is probably some easier way, but that’s the way it is.

Eric: Well, that’s just the Muggle entrance too.

Andrew: Yeah. Deal with it.

Jamie: Yeah. Because, yeah. Let’s just deal with everything. Every single show should just be, “Hi, welcome to MuggleCast. Deal with it.”

Ben: That was hilarious. That’s a real knee-slapper, Jamie.

Jamie: “And that wraps up the show this week. I’m Andrew Sims.”

Andrew: Yeah, I’m on the floor. I’m in tears.

Eric: There’s that British humor.

Jamie: Well, Ben, Ben. Okay, well…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: At least I don’t think that Sirius… This is going to get you, Eric, but…

[Andrew laughs

Jamie: I don’t need it to only get you. It’s going to get all of you in general…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …because your jokes are so obvious. “Hey, guys! And he was like,’ Dude, what’s happenin’ here, man?'” That’s the kind of jokes – obvious stuff.

Eric: That was not a joke!

Ben: That wasn’t a joke.

Jamie: I don’t care! I don’t care! You’re going to take…

Andrew: All right, anyway…

Eric: That was inflection. That was what I thought Sirius would say.

Jamie: Just ’cause you don’t understand the nuances and subtleties of
the British humor, you know?

Ben: That wasn’t even funny, though. Humor means it’s funny.

Jamie: Okay, Ben. Okay, whatever, Ben. Whatever.


Listener Rebuttal – Sirius: Harry, Use The Mirror!


Ben: Our next rebuttal comes from Stacey, 24, from Washington. Once
again, about the two-way mirror:

“I recently read Order of the Phoenix, and something about the mirror stuck me, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. In Chapter 29 of Order of the Phoenix, Fred and George created diversions …”

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Ben: “…so Harry could use Umbridge’s fireplace undetected to contact…” [laughs] “…Sirius and ask him about the ‘Snape’s Worst Memory.’ Why, oh, why didn’t Sirius tell Harry to use the mirror instead of going to all that trouble? Perhaps he didn’t want Lupin to know he’d given a two-way mirror to Harry. But, I think the situation was important enough for Sirius to encourage Harry to use the mirror. But, I suppose if Sirius had told Harry, the rest of the book may not have happened.”

Eric: Yeah, I think this is something where you were reading a little bit too much into it. I just re-read this scene about two days ago, and it was Sirius. It was one of those things where Sirius just didn’t think about it. He was, you know… Harry was in the fire, and whereas Sirius would say, “What are you doing here? You’re risking your neck. Why didn’t you use the mirror?” Where that could have happened, he was basically just, you know, excited to have any contact with Harry. Remember, the kind of person Sirius is. He was very excited, but also very worried, and he just wanted to hear what Harry had to say, so that he could get off and on his way.

Ben: And remember, hindsight is 20/20. I mean, it could have just
been an oversight, you know.

Eric: Yeah, and…

Jamie: Something about the mirror hit her.

Ben: And when Harry hid the mirror, he buried it at the bottom of
his trunk. So, he didn’t want to communicate with Sirius, because he was
worried he was going to get him in trouble, or whatever. So, he decided not to. I just think it was…

Eric: Plus, at the time… Yeah.

Ben: Like, when you’re not in that situation it’s different.

Eric: And Lupin had to run and get Sirius, too. He’s, you know – Harry
came through, saw Lupin.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: And Lupin just had to run up while Sirius was
feeding Buckbeak, and out of the blue. It’s just one of those things that
slips your mind. The fact is, Harry is in the fire, needs to talk to you,
you know? Do you say, “Why didn’t you use this, it’s much safer”? It just
slipped his mind.

Jamie: Ben, if I make a joke about, “Something about the mirror struck
me, and I’ve not been able to get it out of my head.” If I say, “Oh, it’s a
shard of glass,” or something like that, are you going to be like, “Oh, dude, that’s not funny, man!”

Eric: Why? Well, if it’s not funny…

Ben: If it’s not funny, it’s not funny. Sorry, Jamie.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Sorry you’re… “Hey, this is MuggleCast. Deal with it, man.”

Jamie: I’ve kind of spoiled it now by… I’ve kind of spoiled… laughs]

Eric: Jamie, yes, you’re British, yes, you’re magical, but if your
joke is not funny, we will not laugh. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Ok, well, that kind of spoiled it now by asking you if you’d
find it funny, so let’s move on.

Andrew: This is a very dry humor podcast. All right, well, Ben has to
get put of here ’cause, for some reason, he podcasts at school now.

Jamie: He has to get out because…

Eric: He’s kicked out of school for podcasting.

Jamie: No, no, no. The personal libraries are normally 24 hours, but
they’re doing some refurbishments there. So, he’s got to get out.

Eric: Ohhh. Adding in like a hot tub machine, a slushy…

Jamie: Yeah, precisely, yeah.

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: A free recording studio, as well, so the sound quality of the
next MuggleCast is going to be amazing.

[Eric laughs]


Main Discussion: Power and Magical Ability


Andrew: Laura and Micah are going to join us a little bit later in the
show, but for now, [clears throat] we do have a main discussion.
Well, just a discussion, for everyone this week. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, it’s… Well, no, I think “just a discussion” is a bit mean. It’s sort of a “mai” discussion, you know? Doesn’t have the “n” on it.

Andrew: It’s a what? It’s a “mai”?

Jamie: It’s a “mai” discussion.

Andrew: Okay. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s almost a discussion. It’s just slightly lacking, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: [laughs] Slightly lacking?

Jamie: Slightly lacking, yeah. This week, we are going to discuss the difference in power and magical ability between Voldemort and Dumbledore, and every other wizard, witch, and everything. So, we’re going to start with a small intro, and then go on to ask a few questions that we’re going to discuss.

Andrew: ‘kay!


Does Magical Ability Stem From Knowledge?


Jamie: Throughout the series, there have been constant reminders of the difference in power between Voldemort and Dumbledore, and other witches and wizards. References are often made to the incredible powers Voldemort has at his disposal, such as: Peter Pettigrew saying, “There are powers the Dark Lord possesses,” stuff like that, and also that Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort has ever feared. Judging by Dumbledore’s easy defeat of the Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic, e.g. him casting that rope thing that binds them all together, and his difficult and deadly battle with Voldemort, are we safe to assume that these two wizards are on a par, or close to a par on ability, where they’re miles and miles ahead of other witches and wizards?

And, that is the intro, and our first question – which kind of – it isn’t really answered in the main discussion, but it kind of stems from it. It’s is magical ability, does it stem from people’s knowledge, like in Star Wars? As in your knowledge of the Force? So, Yoda is, you know, sort of the best because he’s so old, and he started the Force, so he knows its nuances and its subtleties, and he can use that to greater ability.

Andrew: I think that certainly stands for Dumbledore because of his age, but, I mean, the last sentence in your opening, though. Wasn’t that a question? “Are we safe to assume that these two wizards…?”

Jamie: Yes, it was. It was. It was. Yeah. We could talk about that.

Andrew: Because I would say, yes. Dumbledore is the most – what’s the wording? Powerful wizard? Most powerful wizard alive?

Jamie: Ummm, yeah.

Eric: I just heard it described that Voldemort was actually the
most powerful. In fact by Dumbledore, I think, himself. Towards the end,
he said that Voldemort… And you know, again this is kind of a question
that, you know, in the beginning of the first book, McGonagall and
Dumbledore sitting on the ledge, and McGonagall says…


Tangent: The Whomping Willow


Jamie: K-I-S-S-I-N-G? [laughs]

Eric: No, that’s in the tree later on.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: But, could they actually bewitch the Whomping Willow to sit in it? I don’t know, anyway.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: You know what? Maybe the Whomping Willow is just tired of being used by Dumbledore and McGonagall. But, anyway.

Jamie: I think it is. It’s just – they spend so much time up there, and thinks, “I just can’t watch this anymore.”

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: It got its name, the “Whomping” Willow, because Dumbledore was
whomping McGonagall. [in high-pitched voice] Ahhh!

Eric: Oooh! That was a good one! Even though it would be really funny.

[Andrew laughs]


Back to Main Discussion: Dumbledore and Voldemort’s Power


Eric: You know, she says that, “you’re too noble to use some powers,”
and he blushes, of course, but in Book 5, Dumbledore actually does say and I think it’s okay for him to admit that Voldemort is… He said specifically, “Not powerful, but his extensive knowledge of magic…”

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Eric: “…covers more than any other wizard, including myself.” And I
think it’s safe to say that Voldemort would at least know more different
kinds than Dumbledore. But, again, Dumbledore holds his own and Dumbledore was easily – well, not easily – but he was able to detect the whole, “cut your wrist, open the door, use the thing across the lake.” He was able to detect the magic, so they’re very obviously close in power.

Jamie: Yeah, though I agree, but I just think that it’s funny – well, not really funny – but how at the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore just walked in cast one spell and all of the Death Eaters just didn’t have a chance. And with Bellatrix, as well, who’s clearly pretty powerful magically. He just bewitched the Fountain of Magical Brethren and the thing just came after her, and she fired spells uselessly off it’s chest. You know? It just seems like he can do absolutely anything against anyone.

Andrew: So easily.

Eric: Well, he could.

Jamie: Yeah, so easily, whereas it’s just against Voldemort that he has trouble. That battle in the Ministry, I doubt any other wizard could have stood up to that amount of magical power being transferred back and forth.

Eric: Even Harry? You think?

Jamie: In terms of blow on blow, if Harry had dodged it and jumped around and used his mind like he has, then, yes, probably, but I can’t imagine if they had a sort of [laughs] slapping contest for wizards, where you slap the other person in the face and then they slap you and it just keeps happening until you give up. If they did that with wands and spells, I can’t imagine Harry being able to stand up to Voldemort’s or Dumbledore’s things.

Eric: Oh, obviously not.

Jamie: It doesn’t seem like normal spells.

Eric: They aren’t.

Jamie: They don’t only fire stuff… They don’t only fire stuff out of their wands. They bewitch and ensnare, and cause the water to rise up and do stuff like that.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Other people I just don’t think can…

Eric: No. The whole water thing covering Voldemort, like Voldemort enclosed in this case of like water, and even the fact that Voldemort left his physical body to possess Harry. Even the fact that he just jumped out of his body and into Harry’s and his body disappeared completely from the physical plane.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: How can you do that?

Jamie: Well, exactly.

Eric: And that’s what makes the battle so cool to see. Sorry, Andrew.

Andrew: And yet, in the Ministry, he continued to be disregarded as this mad man who just had no influence in the Ministry of Magic.

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: It’s very sad.

Eric: Well, that’s the question, if Dumbledore ran things, you know. If Dumbledore was Minister of Magic, but he would never want that. He just wanted to teach students.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, precisely.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Teaching students and governing the already grown-up public are two separate choices, I think, for your life.

Jamie: But don’t you think that going back to Voldemort’s power especially, the Aurors are supposed to catch dark wizards. I just don’t think you can call Voldemort simply a dark wizard.

Eric: Because he’s a Dark Lord.

Jamie: He’s not only a dark wizard. Yeah, exactly. The Aurors are impressive and stuff, but if Dumbledore can curse Dawlish, and I’m not going to say it.

Andrew: Yeah, thank you.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You just did. You’ve given it enough to John.

Jamie: [laughs] I’m going to say it as quickly as possible. Quickly as possible. If Dumbledore can curse Dawlish so easily with no effort whatsoever, and he’s got Outstanding in every single N.E.W.T. he’s ever taken…

Eric: Exactly.

Jamie: …and along with five other people at the same time before or however many people it was, how can Dawlish have any chance of catching Voldemort? It’s just inconceivable.

Eric: That’s why it is, but that’s the thing. They should’ve used Dumbledore. They should’ve… Now I bet they’re kicking themselves in the butt because Dumbledore was so powerful.

Jamie: Don’t you think, also, that Book Six especially, Dumbledore’s mental and physical decline, I think, is showing. That while he could exchange blow on blow with Voldemort for awhile, Voldemort is more powerful than him overall.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I think if they… In Book Six, if it came down to a duel, Voldemort would win. And I think that’s putting everything on Harry. Absolutely everything on Harry.

Eric: Yes, but I think that also goes to say that, why then, is it exactly a bad thing that Dumbledore died, anyway? Because, if he…

Jamie: Well, precisely, yeah.

Eric: He obviously was declining. Whether that was, I guess power, and if you remember age is kind of a factor.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Eric: It’s got to be. You know…

Andrew: Definitely, in Book Six, played a role.

Eric: The soul would, of course, be an advantage Dumbledore had over Voldemort. Dumbledore told Harry that he only suspected one wizard or any wizard, or all wizards in general, of only having one Horcrux, which we can kind of infer is Grindelwald, but nobody knows. But he said the most he thinks any wizard had of Horcruxes was one. Obviously, that says a great… How did Voldemort acquire that knowledge of how to do that, not just once, but six times? Maybe he talked to the guy who did it the first time, but for the term to even exist, you’d think that enough people would…

Jamie: So, how’s your Horcrux?

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: But, it’s just… Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Amen. I concur. But, I just… It just seems that the reason for Dumbledore’s death was that he couldn’t teach Harry anything more. He taught him everything he knew, and since he couldn’t take on Voldemort for him, you know?

Eric: Mhm.

Eric: There wasn’t anything left for him, apart from to die. It sounds terrible but, apart for him to die and infuriate Harry even more so that he’s going to go and kick Voldemort’s butt, man.

Eric: Yeah. Well, he could of told Harry how he, kind of, burned his hand off. So, I don’t think we’re talking exactly about the second part of this, as in comparison to other wizards. We’ve talked about them to each other.

Jamie: Don’t you think that he could, both of them… All of the Death Eaters are scared of Voldemort, so clearly he has weapons that they can’t even comprehend.

Eric: Oh yeah.

Jamie: It just seems like that he has everything that everyone else, you know? I mean like even people, obviously, respect him, as well. Like Ollivander said, he did terrible things.

Eric: But great.

Jamie: Sorry, great things but terrible, yes. Awful, but great things. He’s so powerful. People respect power, even if it’s terrible power and the same with Dumbledore. Everyone respected him. Hogwarts was safe because Dumbledore was there, you know? And if Voldemort feared Dumbledore, you can’t disagree with Voldemort, who hates being weak, who hates weakness, who hates being scared of other things. If he personally feared Dumbledore, then what does that say about Dumbledore, you know?

Eric: Mhm. Well that’s true, too, but that’s just the thing. Again, that’s why it’s so fun to watch the battle in Book Five, because Voldemort just comes up with some kind of weird sounding talisman reverberation thing and Dumbledore counters it with some kind of…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …shield of unknown…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …presence that makes a gong…

Jamie: Shields of Glory. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well it was a gong sound. Remember that. It was like a…

Jamie: That was Voldemort’s shield. That was Voldemort’s shield.

Eric: Yes, but that was amazing. It was like a strange gong humming as in response to Dumbledore’s…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: But then, it’s just…

Jamie: What spell did he cast then, if he didn’t seek to kill him there? After Voldemort could tell from that.

Eric: I know, isn’t that the coolest question in the world? Because Voldemort…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …immediately said, after he reflected that spell, “You wish not to kill me, Dumbledore?”

Jamie: Yeah, “You didn’t seek to kill me?”

Eric: And of course they got into their, “You do not know that there are worst things than death,” and stuff like that. But Voldemort knew exactly – he must have known exactly what that spell was going to do to him, even though…

Jamie: Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Eric: …Dumbledore didn’t open his mouth.

Jamie: I just can’t think what kind of spell that could possibly have been.

Eric: And how do you acquire that knowledge of what, you know, with the gong’s sound it means it was this charm, you know, it was this spell?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Eric: It’s just unbelievable.

Jamie: He clearly sort of read music by ear so, you know, each spell makes a different sound and then he just hears it and, you know, knows from there.

Eric: [laughs] What do you guys think of Dumbledore as a Legilimens? Because here was a question in Book Five about Dumbledore teaching him himself. Like, it was tossed around, except for, obviously, the fact that, you know, Harry would, upon looking at Dumbledore, explode into flames, but [laughs] he said, “I didn’t teach him myself because I didn’t want to reveal anything to Voldemort.” And stuff. But Dumbledore as a Legilimens seems kind of cool. And…

Jamie: He’s clearly amazing, though, because he’s amazing at everything. [laughs]

Eric: Oh, he’s amazing at everything. I think he got, what, perfect scores in Transfiguration and Charms or something.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: They were like perfect N.E.W.T.S.

Jamie: He did stuff with a wand that was never seen before or something.

Eric: Oh yeah, Tofty, right. Tofty said that, yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: “Stuff with a wand I’d never seen before.” Things like that. It makes you think like it’s not an acquirable knowledge. It makes it seem like it just…

Jamie: It’s just Dumbledore, it’s unnatural.

Eric: Like nobody can just do things with their wand like that, and that was when Dumbledore was at Hogwarts, when he was 17 years old. Here he is 150.

Jamie: Maybe it’s like, sort of, you know, Polymaths from the Renaissance period. It’s like the wizarding equivalent. They’re like. They’re just…. Once in a while a wizard, who comes along, who excels in absolutely everything and is ridiculously powerful magically. Like, I bet the Four Founders of Hogwarts were miles ahead of…

Eric: That’s the other thing I wanted to bring up.

Jamie: …other wizards their age.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Jamie: It just seems like that to me.


Connection to the Founders


Eric: Well, Voldemort, having Slytherin’s blood in him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Again the pureblood thing is supposed to, you know, inbreeding, on the whole, is supposed to affect genetics and things like that, make people…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …more maniacal and evil and stuff like that, but, the power, at least, or the richness, I mean, if we’re to think Dumbledore is any kind of descendent of Gryffindor or something else, that could have a play in it, too. So, maybe blood does matter in, like, the slightest of ways…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …where you may be a little bit more susceptible to things, but were the Four Founders all pureblood, though? I mean, do we know that?

Jamie: No.

Eric: But it’s kind of implied by the whole Slytherin connection that, at least, well, Slytherin must have been pureblood.

Jamie: Well, yeah, yeah.

Eric: But where does that… I don’t know where that starts.


Magical Knowledge vs. Power


Jamie: But then in relation to other witches and wizards, do you think that they are?

Eric: They are what?

Jamie: Miles ahead? Miles ahead of them? They could beat anyone.

Andrew: The Heads of Houses are miles ahead?

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no. Voldemort and Dumbledore.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Do you think that, I mean, it’s like Chess Masters, you know; they can beat every single chess player in a club. Or then Chess Grandmasters can beat every single Chess Master and stuff like that, you know? I just think that they’re absolutely ahead of everyone and in duels they, you know? It just seems like

Andrew: I don’t know about light years. What do you mean, exactly? Just ahead in knowledge or skill? Because isn’t the knowledge…

Jamie: For Both. Everything.

Andrew: …that they have in common?

Jamie: No, but I mean, okay. If Dumbledore and Voldemort had a… If there was a competition where every single person dueled and it was like a knockout thing so, if you lost, you went home. I think Voldemort and Dumbledore would be facing each other in the final battle.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Jamie: However many people came into it. It’s just like beating absolutely everyone.

Andrew: I definitely agree, skill-wise, but I don’t know about knowledge because, it seems like it would be like Horcruxes, for example.

Eric: They’re not common knowledge.

Jamie: No but, Voldemort didn’t want that memory to learn about Horcruxes. He wanted it to learn about what Slughorn told Voldemort about Horcruxes. There’s a difference. It isn’t though he didn’t know about Horcruxes. And in the first chapter of Book Six when Fudge says that, sorry, the Muggle Prime Minister asks, “Is he back?” and Fudge says, “I don’t know, and Dumbledore won’t explain it properly.”

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: It’s like Dumbledore is the only person who…

Eric: Understands it.

Jamie: …understands it. You know? And it just seems like, in terms of power…

Eric: There was…

Jamie: …in terms of knowledge, that he’s ahead of everyone.

Eric: There was something else he said, too. I think he was explaining to Harry – it’s at the end of Book Five after Sirius’ death, in his office. He explains to Harry, he says that the enchantment placed on Privet Drive is of an ancient magic that, obviously, Voldemort underestimates, or hates and, therefore, underestimates, but he also says that, “I think that I found a connection or a way to protect you that…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: “…maybe no other wizard has.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: He said something along the lines of where, “I’m the only one who really knows how to do this particular kind of thing, so I did…”

Jamie: Yes. Yeah.

Eric: “…because I invest faith in my own intelligence.”

Jamie: Also, I assume we should assume that the two Fidelius Charms. Sorry, not the two. The Fidelius Charm that was used with the Secret Keeper was performed by Dumbledore? Because Flitwick says in Prisoner of Azkaban, that it’s an immensely complex spell.

Andrew: Ohhh.

Jamie: And I think when he says it’s an immensely complex spell, it’s sort of, it really is immensely complex. It’s not just like, brewing a Draught of Living Death, which is damn hard, but not, you know, impossible.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: It really is only some of the most difficult things in the world. I bet Dumbledore conjured that.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: One question is, what it entails? Obviously, it’s a little more than a “swish and flick.” It’s even more than a Patronus…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …thinking of a happy thought.

Jamie: Oh ten… A mill… Yeah, but this is the thing; I think it’s like a million times more than a Patronus or Fidelius…

Eric: But what other ways are there? What could you possibly… Do you need to empty your mind, or do you need to be in a state of meditation when you create things like that?

Jamie: Ask Dumbledore.

Eric: Ask Dumbledore? I can’t. Unfortunately…

Jamie: Oh wait, he’s dead.

Andrew: He’s dead. [laughs]

Jamie: I think we’ve pretty much agreed that Dumbledore and Voldemort are ridiculously, ridiculously powerful or, sorry, to correct myself there, Voldemort is ridiculously, ridiculously powerful; Dumbledore was ridiculously, ridiculously powerful.

[Eric mumbles something]

Jamie: And that they… Sorry, yeah, yeah. And that they could beat any person in a duel, and that people look up to them and respect them and admire them…

Eric: That would be good.

Jamie: …even Voldemort.

Eric: I mean… Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you.

Jamie: Go on. I thought we were wrapping this up

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Oh, well. I… But a final thought, if I may. The… One of the things I think about
Dumbledore, too, is potentially the reason he might know as much is because, well, a) he seeks it, but things like, I just thought of the scene by the lake with the Merpeople, when Dumbledore was speaking Mermish. You know, I’m not saying there aren’t institutions that may teach you Mermish, but Dumbledore’s the kind of person like that who would care and who would seek to…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: …communicate with the residents of obviously the lake where his school is.

Jamie: So it’s diplomacy, as well as…

Eric: I think good diplomacy is…

Jamie: …magical ability. Eric, I am going to put you on the spot here and ask you a question. Quite a difficult one. What is the name of the leader of the Mermaids, sorry, the Merpeople in the lake.

Eric: I do not know. Wait, wait, wait…

Jamie: Andrew do you know?

Andrew: Nooo.

Eric: Wait, wait, wait.

Jamie: No, Googling it, Eric.

Eric: No, I’m not Googling it…

Jamie: You naughty, naughty, naughty boy.

Eric: You would hear my naughty, naughty, naughty fingers typing the naughty, naughty, naughty keys.

Jamie: Okay.

Eric: Ummm…

Jamie: Good then, that’s fine.

Eric: I… I… I…

Jamie: Shall I tell you?

Eric: I know it’s got some kind of a – what’s that called?

Jamie: Word in it? Yeah, it’s pretty good.

Eric: The “ch,” “gh,” type sounds. What are they? “Ch,” “ck”.

Jamie: [sounds out different combinations of letters] “Gchs”? “Chs”? “Ghs”?

Eric: It – not “chs”, but also “sh,” the actual groupings of…

Jamie: I’ll tell you. Shall I tell you?

Eric: Alright…

Jamie: It’s Merf… Sorry, Merchieftainess Murcus.

Eric: Is that actually in the book?

Jamie: It is.

Eric: What page?

Jamie: I don’t know!

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Eric: Oooh, PWNed! All right.


Crackpot Theory of the Week: Voldemort’s Wand is a Horcrux


Andrew: It’s time for another installment of the Crackpot Theory of the Week. We’ve gotten lots of…

[Jamie hums a tune]

Andrew: Oooh, I like that music.

Eric: I like that, too.

Andrew: Someone make a remix out of that. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s kind of Layla. It’s kind of… Not… Yeah, yeah.

Eric: [hums Layla]

Jamie: Layla by Clapton. [hums Layla]

Andrew: Mmmm. Yeah.

Jamie: It’s not actually, at all. I’ve just decided it. Sorry.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs] I just pretended like I knew it, so…

Eric: [singing to the tune of Layla]

Crackpot, you’ve got me on my knees. Crackpot…

Jamie: It’s “Ley.” It’s “l-e-y.” There’s not “la” on this one, though.

Andrew: Okay, I guess that’s it. [laughs] Go ahead. Go for it Jamie.

Jamie: Okay, this is from Scott, 16, from Australia. And, Eric, this is your Crackpot Theory of the Week. [speaks very fast] The final Horcrux is Voldemort’s wand. Go.

[Long pause]

Eric: Okay…

Andrew: [laughs] Go!

Jamie: [laughs] Go!

Eric: Where is Voldemort’s wand? Where has it been? How did he get it back? There is only one explanation for this, and this is it: Voldemort’s wand is actually a Horcrux. He preserved himself inside it, and it has the ability to skitter across the floors and through the pages of all seven books or rather the first four or five books, and that is how Voldemort retrieved it. Nobody was able to find it because, well, the Voldemort inside of it just moved the wand slightly away from everybody, so that once he was destroyed it was not buried amongst the rubble, and throughout time it was just seen in the corners of the HP universe, just browsing and viewing what was going on. So that, by the time that Voldemort regained control of his wand, it would then be able to supply him with the knowledge and experience of… [long pause] I don’t know maybe it’s hanging out with Trevor in the Chamber of Secrets, I really don’t know.

[Another long pause]

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Not bad Eric, not bad at all.

Andrew: Yeah, that wasn’t bad.

Eric: [makes uncertain noise] Ahhhh…

Jamie: It’s getting better.

Eric: I’m still tweaking, tweaking some things. Could we possibly do another one? I know it’s a little bit much to ask, but…

Jamie: Yes, yes go on.

Eric: I love these so much. There’s so many people, I got ten or twenty of them.

Andrew: There’s just so many people. It’s not my fault it sucks.

Eric: [laughs] What?

Andrew: Ahhh. What do you think of that one?

Jamie: Errr, I immediately think of a point that is of… One sec, I’ll type it to you.

Andrew: Let me read the points that Scott brought up. Voldemort who values his magical prowess above all else would consider his wand almost part of him, a sensible place to keep a part of his soul, as he will always have it with him. Another point, his wand managed to survive the explosion that wrecked Godric’s Hollow. Normal wood would have been burned to cinders. This could mean his wand is protected. And the final point…

Jamie: Oooh yeah.

Andrew: Wizards are very attached to their wands. Cedric polished his [mispronounces] regularly, [enunciates] regularly.

Eric: [laughs] I bet he did.

Andrew: Harry says he is fond of his wand, and that it can’t help being related to Voldemort via its core. His wand connects him to the magical world: the locket, the diary and the ring connect him to Slytherin, etcetera.

Eric: Hmmm. I had not thought about the wand connecting him to the wizarding world. I think that’s cool.

Jamie: Eric, are you ready for your next one?

Eric: Yes.


Crackpot Theory of the Week: Scrimgeour – Descendant of Gryffindor


Jamie: Okay this one is from Alex, 15, from Indiana. And, Eric, this is your Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Andrew: Dun dun dun…

Jamie: Rufus…

Andrew: Oops. I’m, I’m sorry! It’s ruined. It’s ruined!

[Eric hums the tune of Layla]

Jamie: It’s ruined! No, its fine, it’s fine. We’ll do it again.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: And…

Eric: [sings to the tune of “Layla”] Got me on my knees, crackpot

Jamie: Eric, Eric. This is your Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Andrew: [sings] Dodolo dodolo dodolo dodolo doom.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister of Magic, is a descendant of Godric Gryffindor and will play a key role in Book Seven.

Eric: Ah, the lion.

[Andrew begins to hum softly in the background]

Eric: He’s described as being as…

Andrew: We need Millionaire music for this.

Jamie: Don’t, don’t…

Eric: You know, Regis is…

Jamie: You’re just giving him time to think.

Eric: You know Regis is no longer… Regis is no longer doing that show.

Andrew: Stalling, minus five.

Eric: I am not stalling. Okay! His lion face. Isn’t he described as having a face like a lion? I mean, come on.

Jamie: By who, by who, by who? Who said that?

Eric: Oh!

Jamie: Come on, Eric.

Eric: Oooh! Aaah! It’s…

Jamie: First chapter of Half-Blood Prince, come on.

Eric: Half-Blood Prince. Well it was…

Jamie: Come on boy! Come on.

[Eric begins to make pained noises]

Jamie: You’re useless. You’re useless, you’re a disgrace.

Eric: I don’t know. [Starts to scream] I can’t take it!

Jamie: You’ve failed! You’ve failed at life. Kill yourself!

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Harry?

Jamie: Is Harry in the first chapter of Half-Blood Prince, Eric?

Eric: Oh, oh, oh! Yes!

Jamie: You call yourself a fan? You call yourself a fan?

Andrew: That’s despicable.

Eric: Oh, it’s the other minister.

Jamie: Yes. Who is it?

Eric: Oh, well it’s…

Jamie: Tony Blair?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s not Tony Blair, because…

Andrew: He’s quitting. Who cares?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: According to the Lexicon… He’s quitting?

Jamie: He is.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Well, he will be soon. Stop stalling, Eric.

Eric: Okay, so the face like a lion. The other minister thinks he has a face like a lion, come on! He’s a descendant of Godric Gryffindor that’s all there is to it! In fact, he might be Godric Gryffindor. In fact, I might even…

Jamie: Repetition! Minus fifteen!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: No. In fact is not repetition. In fact, he might even be Aslan from the Narnia series. You never know. Anything is possible. But a guy with a lion of a face…

Jamie: Non-relevance! Minus twenty!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: I don’t think it’s a question. He has got a lion for a face, and he goes around, and he governs people and he governs the magical world. And realizes what an asset Harry is.

Jamie: That was good.

Eric: Okay. Were there any other points that he brought up? She brought up? He, she. He, it.

Jamie: [yawns] No, she didn’t bring any up.

Andrew: All right well, if you’ve got a Crackpot Theory Of The Week for Eric that you want him to answer on the show, send it in to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. It has to be… He has to be able to prove it in some way, shape, or form. Send in your points so we can read them on the show once he’s done. You know the drill, you know how it rolls. So, that’s that.

Eric: Oh my gosh. Can both of those actually go in? I thought that was really…

Andrew: Yes, Eric.

Eric: I… I… I…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Thank you. I really liked that.

Eric: Ummm…

Andrew: Ummm…

[Eric laughs]


Eric’s Vacation


Andrew: We’re now going to head into an Editorial Segment hosted by Laura and Micah. Eric, this is – and then Eric, you’re getting out of here and you’ll be gone for three weeks? Four weeks?

Eric: Well, I can be on the show if it’s absolutely necessary, if you’re short of people, if you only have you and Ben one night, I can do it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’ll be like 11:00 AM on a Thursday, which we’ll be doing nothing except sleeping. So I can be, but it’s… I don’t need to be. [laughs] I don’t need to be on. But, yeah, I’ll be gone. Well, two weeks actually, the 24th. And then obviously the 24th I’m meeting up with you guys. So, we’ll be together for – with the LIVE podcast and everything else. Hope the rest of the episode goes well tonight.

Jamie: All right, Eric.

Andrew: Have fun in New Zealand.

Eric: Thank you.

Jamie: Yep.

Eric: And, uh, bye-bye!

Andrew: And we’ll take it right now to an Editorial segment by Laura and Micah. Take it away, girls. And Micah. No, just girls.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Just girl and Micah.


Editorial Segment: Brandon Ford, The Underground Lake


Laura: Hey everyone, the Editorial Segment is back. Yay! [claps] Say “yay,” everyone. Come on. Yay.

Micah: Yay.

Brandon: Yay.

Laura: I love the enthusiasm. Okay.

[Brandon and Micah laugh]

Laura: And to celebrate, joining us – joining Micah Tan The Anchor Man (as I like to call him) and I this week is Brandon Ford, author of The Underground Lake. Welcome back, Brandon.

Brandon: Hello. Thank you for having me back.

Laura: Oh, it’s no problem. We had a great time with you the first time, and you were actually the first editorialist we had on this segment, right?

Brandon: Yes, I feel very honored.

Laura: Yes. The Underground Lake has been on hiatus for a while now, but it’s back, great as ever. So Brandon, why don’t you give us a little bit of a synopsis on your latest piece?

Brandon: My last editorial was called “Where in the World is Wormtail?” Basically, after reading Book Six I was very frustrated, because I had predicted after reading Book Five that Wormtail was up to something which is why he was gone the whole book. And in Book Six, he still really didn’t do anything; he was just sort of living with Snape in what I call the “new millennium odd couple,” which was very strange to me. And he didn’t really do anything but serve wine and eavesdrop on people. So, I was trying to still think what could he possibly still be up to, so that was sort of my little introduction back into the world of editorial writing regularly, once again.

Laura: So, now, according to your editorial, who is it that Voldemort doesn’t trust? Snape, Wormtail, or both?

Brandon: Both, but I think right now he is kind of playing both sides against the middle; that essentially their living with each other because one is supposed to be spying on the other one. But I think ultimately the real choice of Voldemort is that Wormtail is living there to spy on Snape, to make sure he really is playing for the right team.

Micah: Yeah, I thought this was interesting because this came up on an episode of MuggleCast. We were talking about this, and most people would assume that Snape is keeping an eye on Wormtail, because that’s in fact what he says in the book, but I think when you think about it, it makes a lot more sense for Wormtail to be spying on Snape.

Brandon: Yeah. I definitely agreed with that. Which is why – it came out of trying to figure out what in the world Wormtail was doing living with Snape. And to me, that just makes the most sense.

Laura: So, we know that Wormtail is obviously a drifter, kind of seeking the stronger side of the war. Do you think Snape is like this too, or do you think that he actually has an alliance? Do you think he’s actually playing the role of spy, or do you think he’s playing both sides to his own advantage?

Brandon: For the longest time I thought he was what I called a triple agent, which is he was just out for himself, he wasn’t really playing both sides. I don’t really want to answer that question because my next editorial is actually the answer to that question.

Laura: Ahhh.

Brandon: [laughs] So, I am just going to leave you with that. But, I do think he does have something rather secretive up his sleeve.

Micah: But I guess, going off of that, your editorial – you sort of started out taking a look at where Wormtail was, but then you didn’t really answer it. Is that going to come up in the next editorial too?

Brandon: No. When I titled it “Where in the World is Wormtail?” at first it was – I mean, obviously geographically we know where he is; he’s living in Snape’s old house. But, I think more what I meant was, “What has he been up to since Book Four?”, really. I guess one of the reasons that I didn’t really go as much into what I thought he was doing, is because a lot of the wind was knocked out of my sails after reading Book Six because, essentially, JK Rowling answered the question; that he’s been living with Snape. And I wasn’t really satisfied with that, so I really wanted to go more into what – the fact that it has more to do with Snape and less to do with Wormtail, right now. However, I do still hope that there is something going on with him, that there is some secret plan that only he and Voldemort know about. But I’m not going to hold my breath for that one.

Micah: Now, do you think Wormtail is planning to help Harry in any way? Will he help him at all? And if he does…

Brandon: Yeah, I had been thinking about that because, of course, what Dumbledore said about how Wormtail now owes Harry, because Harry didn’t let Lupin and Sirius kill him. And, I thought, like a lot of people did, that it would come down to the end and that he would sacrifice himself for Harry. But then, for a while I started to think about, you know, the obvious Lord of the Rings parodies, where Gandalf says Gollum is going to rule the fates of many and all that stuff, but then in the end it’s not a good way that he rules the fates of many. It’s actually quite a horrible way that he rules the fates of many. So, I started to think maybe it’s possible that Wormtail, in his greed, or in his evil, would do something, and that would lead to a chain of events where it would end up helping Harry, even though he isn’t purposely helping Harry, per se. But in the end I feel like, knowing JK Rowling, he’ll probably do something in the end that will help Harry.

Laura: Earlier you were talking a little bit about how Book Six took some of the wind out of your sails. Did Jo’s reading in New York City interfere with any of your theories?

Brandon: Actually, no. When I was asked to come back, I went on MuggleNet and looked at the transcripts and the reports of what she said in New York City, and really she didn’t. In fact, she kind of gave a little more fire to a theory that I had before, that I thought she’d debunked, that now I kind of have again which is about Petunia and how, in Book Seven, whatever her big secret is, is going to be revealed. I had – and I think we discussed this the last time I was on – that I had the theory that she was a closet broomstick.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Brandon: And that she might have magical powers, or something, and JK Rowling in one of her interviews since then said that she’s not a Squib, and she doesn’t have powers and things. But then, in the New York chat, she mentions that there is some huge secret that she has that’s going to be revealed, and I think one point that I did mention in that article about how she maybe kept the original letter that Dumbledore gave her, or that she has something of Harry’s parents’ or in the end, ultimately, she really does have a soul and she’s just not some evil word that I probably shouldn’t say. And, yeah, I’m just… I think that it really is going to come down to her being revealed as not such a horrible person after all, hopefully.

Micah: So, you were very satisfied when she clearly stated that Dumbledore was dead.

Brandon: Yes, extremely.

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: That was sweet vindication. That was sweet vindication.

Laura: I know exactly how you feel. [laughs]

Brandon: I have gotten so many emails from people, saying “Dumbledore’s not dead, just like Sirius isn’t dead.”

[Laura groans]

Brandon: I’ve even gotten a few, “Cedric isn’t really dead,” which is really stupid.

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: But, you know, I’m just glad that she said, categorically, “Dumbledore is dead. Deal with it, people.” And it does make me a little happy inside.

Micah: Now, what about the whole possibility of redemption? Because that was something else somebody asked. Possibly for Draco, possibly for Snape.

Brandon: As far as redemption for those two characters, once again, actually, the redemption of Snape goes into my next editorial, and the possible redemption for Draco goes into the one that I’m writing after that.

Micah: Okay.

Brandon: But I can say that my feeling about, as far as Snape being redeemed is – my problem is, at the end of the day, regardless of what team he’s playing for, he is the one who murdered Dumbledore. And there’s sort of no turning back from that. He can’t exactly walk up to the Order and say, “Oh, it was all arranged, it was all a plan,” because if he goes to the Order they’re just going to kill him. So, I don’t know. Whatever he does, he can only be redeemed really in the eyes of Harry. In the eyes of the world, he will always be the man who killed Dumbledore and no amount of explaining and no amount of intrigue is going to change that fact. So, his redemption is going to be on a different level than, “Oh, he’s really good after all. Let’s all hug and shake hands and call it a day.”

As for Draco, Harry has, more or less, not necessarily forgiven Draco, but acknowledged the fact that he doesn’t think that Draco ever would have killed Dumbledore, so he actually pities him. And I’m on that train too. Whether Draco can come back to the side of good, I don’t know. He might be motivated for the love of his parents, and trying to protect them, to ultimately make the right decision. But, something else that I’ve always said is that Draco may not have killed Dumbledore, he may not have pulled the trigger, but he bought the gun, loaded it and cocked it, so there is a level of guilt in there as well. The short answer is: I don’t know.

Micah: Right. And I think when that question was asked, she tended to favor Draco a little bit more when she was talking about redemption. At least, that’s the impression I got from her answer.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Absolutely.

Brandon: Yeah. I do think that if any of the two of them was going to be redeemed, my money’s on Draco over Snape.

Laura: Mhm.

Brandon: But time will tell.

Micah: Now, the preview for your next article is called “What If We’re Wrong?” And my question is, what if we’re wrong about what?

Brandon: What if we’re wrong about Snape actually being a good guy?

Laura: Oh, no. [laughs]

Brandon: I’m going to sort of give you what I pretty much put in the introduction to it. As soon as I read the book the first time, I was immediately on the, “Oh, I trust him even more now that he killed Dumbledore, because he did it because he had to,” and all this stuff. But after – when I was doing research for “Where in the World is Wormtail?” I read “Spinner’s End,” and something really did not sit well with me when Snape was giving his answers to all of the questions that Bellatrix kept asking him. And it got me thinking: what if everybody’s wrong? What if he really isn’t good? What if everything he told Bellatrix was the truth? That he did all that stuff because he’s on Voldemort’s side. And it’s just sort of… And the subtitle is “A Trip to the Bizarre World.” It’s just sort of, what if we look at everything that’s happened in the books from the point of view that he was telling the truth, and he really is a bad guy. What does that ultimately mean for Harry, and what does that mean for us as readers who have believed him for the past six books, and it turns out he really was evil the whole time?

Micah: I think that JK Rowling has just trained us so well to second guess everything, so that when we saw Dumbledore actually…

Brandon: I know.

Laura: She really has.

Micah: …murdered, you automatically thought, “Oh, there has to be something else to this,” and I’m sure there is, but we may be looking a little bit too far into it. So, it’ll be interesting to read that.

Laura: Yeah.

Brandon: Mhm.

Laura: Some of us thought he was alive, didn’t we, Micah?

Brandon: [laughs] Yes.

Micah: Yeah, I don’t know who.

[Laura and Brandon laugh]

Micah: Some site, actually.

Laura: [still laughing] Well, that all sounds insanely interesting, and I think that everybody’s pretty much really looking forward to reading that one, but we’re running out of time, so we need to get into our lightning round, which…

Brandon: All right.

Laura: …I don’t think you got to do that, because we premiered that after your debut on this segment.

Brandon: Yeah.

Laura: So, first question, did Snape love Lily?

Brandon: I believe so, yes.

Micah: Okay, I’ll take the next one.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: At Radio City Music Hall, did Jo slip up and reveal that the trio will survive the war, or are people reading too much into it?

Brandon: Well, I believe that Ron and Hermione will be surviving. I’ve always been in the “I think Harry’s going to die” group, but I don’t think she slipped up and revealed that. I did she did slip up and reveal that Ron and Hermione were probably going to survive, because I think they are.

Laura: Who else was at Godric’s Hollow the night the Potters were killed?

Brandon: I always maintain that I think Peter Pettigrew was there with Voldemort in the house, so I’m probably going to stick with that.

Micah: That’s your whole “Last Day Theory,” isn’t it?

Brandon: Yes, it is. No, Fudge was not there.

[Micah laughs]

Brandon: I can see that that actually did not happen, now that I’ve read Book Six…

[Laura laughs]

Brandon: …but, yeah, I think he was there.

Micah: And in that Richard and Judy interview, she said that she spared one recently when she was writing Book Seven. Who do you think that was?

Brandon: [laughs] Once again, you’re getting into an editorial that I’ve just started writing, too. Who do I think is spared, is Lupin.

Laura: Really? Why is that?

Brandon: Well, I always had down that I thought all of the Marauders had to die, just because I think that that piece of Harry Potter history had to be closed. Because I believe Wormtail is going to die, and I believe that Lupin has to die so that all four of them can and that, basically, the whole set has to die. But now, after Book Six and Lupin’s hopeful relationship with Tonks, and other things, I kind of think he might – I think he might be the one who’s spared.

Laura: And who do you think are the two people that are going to die in the place of the character who got the reprieve?

Brandon: I’ve been thinking about that one a lot lately, and I’m not entirely sure about one. I think, unfortunately, Hagrid probably has to go.

Laura: [in distress] Oooh.

[Micah laughs]

Brandon: I don’t want him to go, but I think he’s got to go. Just because that would be really sad, and that would kill everybody. But I don’t know about the other one. I’ve been really trying to think about who the other person could be.

Micah: See, when I heard…

Brandon: I’m hoping it’s not Neville, but it could be.

Micah: When I heard two, I immediately thought Fred and George.

Brandon: I don’t think so.

Laura: [gasps] Micah! No! Don’t say that!

Brandon: I think – I’m going to say all the Weasleys are safe. I really feel like all the Weasleys are safe.

Laura: Really?

Brandon: Yeah.

Laura: That’s interesting.

Brandon: I…

Laura: A lot of people think that Percy’s going to buy the farm.

Brandon: I don’t think Percy will… [laughs] Honestly, I don’t think Percy is important enough to die. I don’t really think anybody would care if Percy died, personally.

[Micah and Laura laugh]

Brandon: But… Plus, I think Percy still has to mend his fences with his family and, you know, I’m an optimist. I think all the Weasleys will remain unscathed, maybe a little grievously injured, but I think they’ll all live.

Laura: An optimist who thinks Harry is going to die.

[Everyone laughs]

Brandon: I think he’s got to. I think he has to.

Laura: All right, well, we’re running a little short on time here, so Brandon, thank you for joining us again. It is…

Brandon: No problem. Anytime.

Laura: …always a pleasure to have you.

Brandon: Thank you.

Laura: Now, listeners, don’t forget. If you or someone you know has an excellent editorial on MuggleNet, be sure to let us know. And for one final note, we’re working on expanding this segment by featuring other areas of the site and the lovely people who run them, so we will of course, be looking for listener feedback on that, because we love you guys so much, so please write in when you hear anything on that. And once again, Brandon Ford, “The Underground Lake.” Read it, or else.

[Brandon and Micah laugh]

Brandon: Thank you. Please do.

Laura: [laughs] All right. Bye, everyone.

Micah: Thanks.

Brandon: Bye. Thank you.


What’s Buggin’ Micah: Jo, Update Your Site!


Andrew: Okay, we’re back and now joined by Micah. He hopped off the editorial discussion and decided to join us.

Ben: I’m home now.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs]

Micah: Where were you before?

Ben: I was at school.

Jamie: Yeah, but Ben…

Andrew: In school.

Micah: Oh.

Jamie: Ben, don’t you get a free house with that library as well? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing. The editorial segment – or, wait. When you got off like, twenty minutes ago. So, what’d you do, fly home?

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: I drove.

Andrew: Okay, anyway. [laughs] We have a new segment this week, because we’re all about new segments. Like, like pickle. Pickle. Pickle.

Jamie: We…

Andrew: Pickle.

Jamie: We like to keep up to date, don’t we?

Andrew: Yeah. So it’s a new segment, and it’s called, “What’s Buggin’ Micah?” [laughs]

Micah: [laughs] Did you – did you practice that?

Andrew: Boy, this is a rough start. Yes, actually.

Jamie: Can I do it?

Andrew: Yeah, go ahead.

Jamie: While all of you who hear Micah doing the news think that he’s a sort of laid back, calm individual who doesn’t ever get angry or doesn’t ever shout or get annoyed, he isn’t really. And if you listen to us recording, you’d hear the full force of Micah exploding.

Andrew: [sounds scared] Oooh. Gives me chills just thinking about it.

Jamie: It fills us with fear – yeah, it does. Just thinking about it, I’m going queasy and sort of, you know, jumping up and down. But, anyway, we thought that we would bring this sort of anger and use is productively, so we thought we’d try and show everyone exactly how Micah feels in this new segment.

Andrew: All right.

Jamie: So, Micah, explode.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Micah: All right. Well, being that this is the first segment, I’m going to make it short and sweet, but you’ll be able to figure out what it’s about soon enough. So, with that said… Jo, you need to update your site.

Andrew: Oooh.

Micah: “Why?” you ask? Because it’s been 120 days, which is roughly one-third of the calendar year since you last posted something.

[Ben laughs]

Micah: Wizard of the Month, birthday announcements – they don’t count.

[Ben laughs]

Micah: Yes, I realize you did come visit us in New York City, and it was great seeing you. We know you’re writing Book Seven, but we’re not asking for a lot. At least update the diary on the main page. I believe you’re supposed to write in a diary more than once every five months. I mean, Emerson has posted more than you lately, and that’s saying something.

[Andrew, Ben, and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Oh, my gosh.

Micah: Just to put it in perspective, here are some things that were happening on May 10th; the last time you updated:

MuggleCast was only 38 episodes old.

[Andrew gasps]

Jamie: That’s a long time away.

Micah: We were more than two months away from Las Vegas and New York City.

[Andrew pretends to cry]

Micah: Katie Couric was still the host of the Today Show.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Those students who are now freshman in college were still taking classes as seniors in high school.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Pluto was still a planet.

[Everyone laugh]

Micah: …and, and DumbledoreIsNotDead.com was actually a meaningful website. So please, Jo, update your site!

Jamie: That’s what’s bugging Micah. Although, Jo…

Ben: Well, I could totally see Jo posting on her website, “Because Micah Tannenbaum said so.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: How awesome would that be?

Jamie: Although, Ben, Ben, I’d just like to point out that Jo, if you’re listening, we are in no way affiliated with Micah Tannenbaum at all.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Or any of his news segments.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Or any of his feelings or angers at all. Personally, I think May is a great time to update and I think you should…

[Ben and Micah laugh]

Jamie: …live your life and don’t worry about a website. Seriously.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Micah, you da, god.

Andrew: Micah, that was very good.

Jamie: That was good.

Andrew: And we got – we like seeing this side of you because everyone sees the serious Micah Tannenbaum in the MuggleCast news center, but there’s never the real Micah. [laughs] Anyway, good work, Micah. [laughs] I… I… I concur, though. It has, it has been a while. It’s a shame, that’s all.

Micah: What’s been a while?

Andrew: An update to her site.

Ben: Duh!

Jamie: Yeah, it’s been – let’s phrase it properly. It would be rather pleasant to receive an update.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But we in no way expect it.

Andrew: I do.

Jamie: Okay, I do too.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Jo, update your website. Come on, it’s been ages.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.


Dumbledore-Norris Facts


Andrew: Now time for some more fun with Dumbledore/Norris facts! Yay!

Jamie: Should we have a bad quote of the week, as well? [laughs] Like, you know, the worst one that’s been sent in?

Andrew: Sure.

Jamie: Okay, I just need to find it. This is a nice one from Dan, 12. “Dumbledore’s beard makes unicorn hair look dull.” [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “When Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle brightly behind his spectacles, you had better be glad that he’s wearing his glasses, otherwise the brightness of that twinkle would burn a hole right through you.” [laughs]

Jamie: I love these. I love… No, actually, even though Ben’s boring and says that they are – they are bad, the response that I’ve got about these has been fantastic so please keep sending them in.

Micah: You know, when I first saw that in the Writley – and I’m being serious – I thought that you were going to start talking about some relationship between Dumbledore and…

Ben: Mrs. Norris. [laughs]

Micah: …Mrs. Norris.

Jamie: “Azkaban has recently replaced the Dementors with cardboard cut-outs of Dumbledore.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “A more effective way of guarding the prison.” [laughs] This is a good one, “In the seventh year of Hogwarts, Dumbledore was voted best dressed and most likely to be forgiven for performing an Unforgivable Curse.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Nice. Non-magic one of the week – “Dumbledore doesn’t need an iPod or any other device for playing music, he just thinks of the song he feels like listening to and it immediately starts playing in his head.” [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Speaking of beautiful and intelligent…

Jamie: What?

Andrew: …and popular…

Laura: Hello?

Jamie: Can I get to say this at some point?

Andrew: Yeah, Laura just entered. I wanted to introduce her properly.

Jamie: Oh!

Andrew: Hello.

Jamie: Hey, Laura.

Laura: Hi.

Jamie: Laura, did you know that Dumbledore is not really dead, but living with Tupac [pronounced “Two-pack”] and Elvis?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Laura: Really?

Micah: “Two-pack?”

Andrew: “Two-pack?”

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Tupac. What’s his name?

Jamie: Yeah. “Two-pack.” That’s it.

Micah: Well, I’ve never heard it as “Two-pack?”

Jamie: “When Dumbledore holds a Remembrall, it simply shatters because Dumbledore never forgets.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That’s from Jennifer Rader, 18, from Texas. Thank you. Please keep sending them in. They’re fantastic. Send them to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com and, yeah. And we especially like original Dumbledore quotes that have some kind of magic thing related to them so to all the people who have gone to ChuckNorrisFacts.com, [laughs] copy them down and change the name to Dumbledore…which I admit I did do first of all. Try and get some original ones. They’re all fantastic. Thank you.


Gimme A Butterbeer: Harry Potter – The Satanic Art?


Andrew: Now, it is time for the return of Gimme A Butterbeer…

Laura: Yay!

Jamie: Dun dun dun.

Andrew: …with Ben Schoen.

Ben: It’s what everyone’s been waiting for, I’m pretty sure.

Jamie: Do you know what…

Andrew: Yeah, we’ve been waiting like, how…when…what was the last one? When was the last one?

Jamie: Four years. We should do a Gimme A Butterbeer.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew.

Ben: Me?

Andrew: Yeah, we should do our own.

Jamie: Andrew. No, no.

Ben: It was the last time Jo updated her site.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Ohhh. [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: We should do a…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: We should do a Give Me a Butterbeer about Ben not doing Give Me a Butterbeer.

[Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah, that’s a good one.

Andrew: Okay, I’ll be right back but Ben, you can do that.

Ben: This week, I’d like to take a look at Harry Potter: The satanic art. “Behind Harry Potter lies the signature of the king of darkness, the devil,” Pope Benedict XIV senior exorcist told Vatican Radio. According to the Daily Mail newspaper in London, he added that “the book attempts to make false distinction between black and white magic when, in fact, the distinction does not exist because magic is always a turn to the devil.” I know we’ve discussed this before, but for the last time, Harry Potter is not turning our youth into little witches and wizards. It’s a fictional story about a boy who happens to be a wizard and is attempting to save the world. It’s the equivalent of saying Superman must be demon-possessed because real people can’t fly.

What I’m getting sick and tired of is continually hearing the critics say the same thing over and over. To me it seems they can’t stand how insanely popular the book is, so they’re going to be so – so they’re going to be cynical and find a way to criticize. Unfortunately, they keep re-hashing the same message: Harry Potter is the devil. I think this is a very important conversation to have. When prominent religious figures continually condemn the books, it makes the average Christian Harry Potter fan feel guilty for reading the series because of its alleged connections with the occult. Please, if you’re going to criticize the books, at least make a legitimate attempt to understand what they are about.

Jamie: Or read them first.

Ben: I sincerely doubt the Pope’s exorcist has actually read the series, so it’s unfair for him to pass judgment. Perhaps if he actually cracked one of the books, he’d see it’s underlined moral teachings and realize that it’s not just a bunch of teenage witches and wizards dancing in a circle chanting voodoo. Hopefully, this is the last time I have to bring this topic up. I’m Ben Schoen and I say, Gimme A Butterbeer.

Laura: Well, I doubt it’s going to be…

Jamie: Pretty good, Benjamin, well done.

Laura: It will probably not be the last time you have to bring that topic up, but you do bring up several good points.

Jamie: The Pope’s going to turn around and say, “Well, if Ben Schoen doesn’t want us to say anything…”

Ben: Yeah.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Jamie: “…we won’t say it. It’s fine.”

Ben: So, what do you guys think?

Jamie: I think you’re right, but do you know what? I don’t really care though. It’s like if the Pope’s senior exorcist wants to say it’s about devils and stuff, then that’s fine. He can think we’re going to hell for reading it.

[Laura and Ben laugh]

Jamie: I’m going to read it still and I’m sure that every other fan is still going to read it. But, I do agree that it can make people feel guilty for reading something they shouldn’t feel guilty about. Do you agree with that sentiment Laura? Or…

Laura: I do, I do agree with that sentiment.

Jamie: Oh, excellent.

Laura: It really irks me how people seem to think that they can go about judging the books without even reading them.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s like that Laura Mallory, who doesn’t live to far from me, who claims – she seems to think that she doesn’t need to actually read the books before condemning them because she has four children and she doesn’t have enough time. Yet, she has so much time sitting around appealing to the state, which she is now. I think she’s getting another hearing here soon, so I’m probably going to go up there and argue.

Jamie: Good. Do it, do it.

Laura: I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and I think, Ben, you hit the nail on the head.

Micah: Try and refrain yourself from hitting her.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But seriously, what right does she have to go and protest something? Separation of church and state definitely covers this.

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: You can’t say, “Because God said so, these books have to be banned from libraries.”

Jamie: No, you can’t say it, can you?

Ben: The interpretation of what God is…

Jamie: There’s just no ground there.

Ben: Based upon the person and the constitution protects your right to…

Laura: Exactly.

Ben: Freedom of religion, so it’s ridiculous for this woman to even say that.

Laura: Well, I think it’s important to remember, and I’m not meaning this to be insulting – in the least way at all, but freedom of religion is also freedom from it, and…

Jamie: It is.

Laura: …I think trying to base a public school system’s right to have what they want in the library on one person’s religious beliefs is absolutely ridiculous.

Micah: And I think, all you have to do is look at what took place at the beginning of August in New York City, in terms of it’s impact on literature with 6,000 people coming out each night to see, not just Jo, but two other authors and I think that that’s a statement to be made. The whole idea of it being a satanic cult – I really don’t like the comparisons that were made, in particular the two that Emerson mentioned in his post to these – 5to what was it? To Hitler and Stalin?

Jamie: Yeah. It’s just ridiculous.

Laura: Well, I…

Jamie: It’s just ridiculous.

Laura: We’re all perfect examples of what good Harry Potter can do. Think about how different our lives would be if it weren’t Harry.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Laura: We wouldn’t be going on all these great trips, we wouldn’t be doing this show, we wouldn’t even know each other.

Jamie: I know. How ridiculous do you think it is? jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Tell me how ridiculous…

[Ben, Laura, and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Exactly how ridiculous do you think it is.

Ben: The bottom line is that it’s a book. It’s not preaching to you, it’s not trying to convert…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …you to a belief system. It’s just a story. That’s all it is. There are many stories out there that involve witchcraft, but…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …it doesn’t mean they are all trying to convert to Wiccans.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Wicca, whatever you want to call it.

Laura: And kids are reading now. They’re not letting their brains rot in front of the television as much anymore. That is one thing to be so thankful for. Anything that gets kids reading.

Ben: I don’t think anything that’s encouraging child literacy is going to be spawning from the devil.

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: You go to hell if you read books, but if you play video games, you’re all right.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It just makes no sense.

Ben: Well, once again, if you have an idea for this segment, please email ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Or go to the MuggleCast.com website and select Ben from the contact page. Thanks! Also, give me feedback on this. Tell me what you think.


Andrew’s HUH?! E-mail of the Week


Andrew: It’s time for Andrew’s… [makes “me, me, me, me, me, me, me” throat clearing sound] It’s time for Andrew’s Huh?!, Huh?!, Huh?!…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …E-mail of the Week.

Jamie: That was easy.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It usually takes a couple of tries to get my voice in a groove.

Jamie: Yeah, you’ve got to tune it up.

Andrew: Actually, this isn’t an e-mail. This is HUH?! MuggleNet comment board of the week entry, thing.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: So, we posted about MuggleCast 54, which I incorrectly called 55 last week.

Laura: Good job!

Andrew: My bad!

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: And, you know, we like reading the comments. We like seeing the feedback, and there’s this one comment that kind of, you know, we get these every once in a while, and it really grinds my gear…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Gears. It reads, “I’d just like to mention that I used to watch this.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Okay, first of all, you don’t watch it, you listen to it.

Eric: First mistake! [laughs]

Andrew: Second sentence: “It was good,” no comma, “though the descussions…”

Jamie: Descussions?

Andrew: Spelled D – E – S… Yeah, it’s like, “descussions.”

[continues reading] “…did start to go downhill.”

All right. Your opinion.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: “What actually made me quit watching it,” – once again, you’re not watching, you’re listening – “was the large amount of spyware that latched itself onto my computer when I was downloading the episodes.”

Oooo!

Ben: Yep. You heard it here. We… [laughs]

Andrew: “The computer guy said it was very hard to get rid of – get rid of, and some of them still remain because they will not detach. We may have to get a new computer. Thanks, MuggleCast.”

First of all, you’re welcome.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Second of all, we don’t attach any spyware…

Ben: Spyware? We don’t even know how to do that. How would you do that?

Jamie: Andrew, Andrew don’t lie.

Ben: How can you attach spyware to an mp3 file?

Jamie: No, no…

Ben: How can you do that?

Jamie: No, Ben, don’t lie. I think we should come clear.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] We have Kevin do it each week?

Jamie: We have a special deal worked out with…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: No, no. We have a special deal worked out with Dell, whereas we screw up everyone’s computer, then they buy a new one from Dell…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Then we get a 20% annual profit.

Andrew: Yeah! [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Enter code MuggleCast…

Jamie: Pretty, pretty awesome, really.

Micah: Who sent this to you? What’s their name?

Andrew: It was on the comment board.

Micah: Oh.

Andrew: But I just want to point out that, of course, we don’t attach anything to the audio files. That’s just silly, and we would never try to. We don’t even know how. And they’re just audio files. It’s like downloading music. That’s all.


Jamie’s British Joke of the Day


Andrew: Jamie!

Jamie: Yes.

Andrew: British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: I’ve got one.

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: That’s a joke in itself.

Jamie: Didn’t know that… Eh! All right. There’s this guy, and he goes skydiving for the first time ever, okay? After he jumps out of the plane, he counts to ten, as you do, pulls the cord, and absolutely nothing happens. So, he’s getting a little bit worried by now, and he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, but, unfortunately, again, the parachute doesn’t appear at all [laughs]. So, he’s falling down, you know, reaching terminal velocity, and he’s plummeting toward the earth, and he sees this woman coming up completely the other way, and he shouts to her, “Hey! Do you know anything about parachutes?” And she quickly replies, “No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Oh, that bombed.

Jamie: Oh, god, that was funny.


Ben’s Not So British Joke of the Day


Jamie: Okay, Ben, you tell yours.

Ben: My joke?

Jamie: Would you like me to tell it?

Ben: I’ll tell it. So, guys. Why did the ghost of the chicken cross the road?

Andrew: Why?

Ben: To get to the other [in scary voice] siiiiiiiiiide!

Jamie: That is pretty good, that one, Ben.

Ben: I love that joke!

Jamie: That is pretty good. I’m very impressed.

Ben: I love that joke.

Jamie: I’m laughing so much.

Ben: [laughs] You did a little bit ago when I told it to you.

[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, I did the first time he said it, but we still only laughed minorly at first.


Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition


Andrew: Now, to wrap up the show this week, Chicken Soup: [excitedly] Back-To-School Edition! [sings] Da da da da da da… What’s the Saved by the Bell music?

Ben: [sings] I’m saved by the bell! Itttttttt’s all right, ’cause I’m saved by the bell! [laughs]

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Phillip Defibaugh [stumbles several times through last name]

Micah: Defibaugh?

Andrew: Defibwaah? Waaah! 15, from Orange County, California, writes about his back-to-school MuggleCast experience:

“I just wanted to say I love listening to the show and that you actually helped me in school. Let me explain. I am really out of shape.”

Oh, okay.

“And at my school in my PE class we have to run a mile every week. I never scored very well. One day, my PE teacher said we could listen to our iPods while we ran the mile.”

Good idea!

“I had just started to run when I noticed I had clicked on MuggleCast. For once, I was actually laughing while I ran the mile.”

Ben: I’m sure that helps him run faster.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I was just going to say! That’s a little flawed! But anyway…

“A little while later, my PE teacher had stopped me. I had run two extra laps without noticing it! My teacher decided to give me extra credit, bringing my C to a B in the class. Thank you MuggleCast!”

Jamie: [laughs] Funny.

Andrew: How do you get a C in gym?

Ben: Because you can’t run a mile.

Laura: Hey, I know people who have done it. [laughs] We have our…

Andrew: “PS: Jamie…”

Laura: Sorry!

Andrew: Oh, go ahead Laura. Sorry.

Laura: Oh, no, I was just going to say that our final in gym was we had to run for 30 minutes, and if we didn’t do it…

Andrew: What?!?

Laura: [laughs] We got a C in the class, yeah.

Ben: Hey, do you realize that in thirty minutes, you can run for like four miles?

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: Yeah. That’s ridiculous!

Andrew: That’s a lot.

Ben: That’s… [laughs]

Andrew: And at the bottom, it says:

“PS: Jamie, you’re my favorite MuggleCaster.”

Awww!

Ben: Well, this person is definitely off their rocker, then!

[Micah, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Do you know what we should do? The most sort of – I can’t remember the word. What’s the word that sort of psyches you up and makes you do something?

Andrew: Pump iron?

Ben: Pump you?

Jamie: Sort of inspiring song is always, Eye of the Tiger, by Survivor.

Andrew: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!

Jamie: We should play that every single week, just to kind of, like, inspire people who could be doing things right now when they are listening to the show.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: It will help gym students everywhere.


More Chicken Soup: Back-To-School Edition


Andrew: Well, here’s another. I like these kind of re – not rebuttals, Chicken Soups. This one comes from Briana, 16, of Virginia Beach, Virginia. And she says:

“Hey, MuggleCasters! Tomorrow, I start my senior year of high school. I’ve been dreading it all summer, but MuggleCast helped me realize there was nothing to worry about tonight in the form of a supermarket phenomenon. There I was, in the refrigerated section of the supermarket in my MuggleCast shirt…”

Of course! Everyone wears their MuggleCast t-shirts out everywhere. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “…holding a jar of pickles for my lunch.”

Okay. I’m not sure why she has pickles for lunch, but…

“I laughed silently, reminded of the most recent episode (which was hilarious, by the way). Then, it happened.”

Ben, cue it up, please!

Ben: [sings beginning of Eye of the Tiger] Buh! Buh buh buh! Buh buh buh!

Andrew: No!

Jamie: Come on, Ben!

Ben: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo…

Andrew: [singing City of Blinding Lights] Ooooooooo…

Andrew: Can’t do it now. But…

[Ben sings throughout]

Andrew: “‘City of Blinding Lights’ came on the speakers of the supermarket. I swear, that moment was the culmination of my favorite MuggleCast allusions. I had a pickle jar in my hand…”

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: ” …U2 in my ears, and the podcasters on my… well, chest. [laughs] I started to laugh even louder. Now that I think of it, I must have looked so ridiculous as I attempted to sing the “Ooohs” while laughing hysterically.”

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Wonderful!

“With the help of MuggleCast, U2, and pickles, I was able to have one last moment of blissful stupidity before I head off to school tomorrow morning. So, thank you, guys, for being for being funny and utterly random every week. It made my summer.”

Pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles…

Ben: Stop!

Jamie: And U2. And U2.

Andrew: …pickles, pickles…

Ben: Stop with the pickles!

Andrew: …pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles, pickles…

Ben: Hey, I have a little challenge.

Micah: Oh, the transcribers are going to love that.

[Transcriber’s note: Word!]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: I absolutely love that. Lately…


Ben’s Random Challenge


Ben: I want to hold a challenge for the listeners.

Andrew: Pickles.

Ben: Lately, I’ve …

Jamie: Ben, I do the random challenges!

Ben: No, no; we both do. No, hold on, hold on. Lately…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Lately, I’ve been on this little Elton John kick.

Jamie: I’m fed up with him copying me!

Andrew: No!

Ben: And Dumbledore is now dead; JK Rowling confirmed it. And so, I would like for you to write a parody to Elton John’s Candle in the Wind, for Albus Dumbledore.

Laura: Oh, geez. [laughs]

Andrew: I think that’s dumb.

Ben: No, please do it.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Winner gets a t-shirt. [laughs]

Andrew: Ohhh!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay, I just want to close the show off by reminding everyone that we now have a low bandwidth version of the show – we’ve had that for a few weeks – but we also have a feed now, so you can subscribe to it within iTunes. Just go to MuggleCast.com and there’s an iTunes link. This version of the show is much easier for those on dialup to download the show. It sounds like this… [says in a mock static voice]

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Crumby quality, but not really crumby, but not – it’s still…

Ben: Grainy?

Andrew: What am I saying [laughs] It’s… Yeah. The quality’s decreased, but you can still hear just fine. So, go to MuggleCast.com.


PO Box Update


Andrew: So, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 55. If you would like to contact us, you can send PO box parcel mail to…

Ben:

PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67017.

Oh, by the way…

Jamie: Don’t forget to send your stuff 15 years in advance.

Ben: A minor PO box update. A minor PO Box update. This past week I received four boxes of Lucky Charms for Jamie…

Jamie: Yay.

Andrew: Whoa!

Laura: Jesus.

Ben: Four boxes of Lucky Charms.

Jamie: Thank you, thank you.

Ben: Two of them come from Sam and Ashley. I have no idea where they’re from, but here’s what they say:

“Jamie you are awesome, and my favorite MuggleCaster.”

Enough of that [censored]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Hey, Andrew, put that in, but just bleep it out. That was funny.

Ben: The other set of goodies come from Madeline – it says on the front – Madeline Welsh…

Jamie: Oh, that’s a nice name.

Ben: Madeline Welsh from Orlando, Florida. Hey, Madeline, we might be there around New Year’s, so we’ll swing by.

[Jamie laughs]


Show Close


Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: You can also, call in a voice mail question or comment to 1-218-20-MAGIC. In the United Kingdom, 020-8144-0677, and in Australia 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the user name MuggleCast to leave a voice mail, question, comment, whatever you want. Just Skype the user name MuggleCast. Did I already say that? Leave your message user… Keep your message under thirty seconds and no background noise. We’ve also got a Feedback Forum on MuggleCast.com. Don’t forget the Frappr map. Add your pictures; I know – I’m confident you’re all a good-looking bunch. Vote for us on Podcast Alley and all that good stuff. Once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Elton John.

Jamie: I’m Cascada.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I’m Billy Joel.

Laura: And I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 56.


Bloopers


[A school bell rings]

Ben: Uh oh! There goes the bell. There goes the bell, we’re going to the hall.

Andrew: What’s this mean? What?

Ben: What?

Andrew: Where are we going?

Ben: The bell just rang.

Andrew: No, I want to sit here!

Ben: We’re going to the hallway.

Andrew: Nooo!

Ben: No, we’re going to the hall.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: We’re going to the hall. I may have to leave after this, guys. I don’t know. Moundridge High School.

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: Oh, come on.

Jamie: Hey Andrew?

Ben: Yeah, I’m recording a podcast right now.

[Students chatter in the background]

Jamie: Andrew.

Eric: Moundridge, Kansas.

Jamie: Andrew, keep that stuff in the show about us arguing about the thing that wasn’t funny. The arguing was funnier than the actual thing.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: I was going to anyway.

Jamie: Oh, okay.

Andrew: So, we’re going through Moundridge High School hall.

Ben: Hey, Ryan Flood. Ryan Flood. You’re on MuggleCast. Say, “Hi.”

[Andrew laughs]

Student: Harry Potter’s awesome!

Ben: You’re on MuggleCast, Say, “Hi.”

Student: Hey [censored]!

Andrew: All right.

Student: Snape [censored] Draco.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Whoa! [laughs] Okay!

Student: Snape [censored] Dumbledore.

Eric: Muggle…

Student: Yo! MuggleCast live!

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Yeah. Say, “Hi,” Chad.

Student: You’re not [censored].

Ben: Yeah I am! Right now. Swear to god.

Student: [jokingly] Where’s Emerson?! Emerson! I want to [censored] Emerson! Oh, Emerson!

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Ben’s…

Student: Emerson I love you, Emerson!

Jamie: I think he just punched him in the face.

Student: What’s that other guy’s name?

Andrew: Oh okay. [laughs]

Eric: Oh my god! Some of this stuff is not getting in.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Shat?

Student: Are they talking to you?

Ben: Yeah, right now.

Student: What are they saying?

Student: See, Emerson, I love you!

Eric: Moundridge High School: Uncensored.

Student: Ben Schoen, let me see that laptop.

Ben: No! Get away!

Student: I just want to look at it.

Ben: Look with your eyes.

Student: I’m not even going to touch it.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: This is ridiculous.

Student: Hey, come here Ben.

Ben: What?

Jamie: Get some girls on, Ben. They wouldn’t swear.

Andrew: Huh?

Student: Let me hear what they’re saying right now.

Jamie: Ben?

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: Get some girls on. They won’t swear.

Student: Oh, this guy’s British.

Ben: Yeah, he’s British.

Eric: Ben doesn’t get any girls.

Student: Ben gets a lot of girls, man.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Gets what?

Student: He gets a lot of girls, man. It’s insane.

Andrew: I don’t believe that.

Jamie: I don’t know.

Student: Oh, no, no. The guy is loaded with chicks.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Girls named Henry, right?

Student: Henry, yeah.

[Ben and Student laugh]

Eric: [laughs] And Patrick, Patrick.

Ben: Patrick.

Andrew: Hmmm, well.

Ben: This is not good. I’m losing signal.

Andrew: This is quite a segment, yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: This is best segment I’ve ever heard. Damn exciting.

Ben: Hey, Waynes. Wayne you’re on MuggleCast. Wayne, you’re on MuggleCast. Say, “Hi.”

Student: Hi.

Ben: Say, “Harry Potter rules.”

Wayne: Harry Potter is [censored].

Andrew: Everyone automatically knows what MuggleCast is at the school. [laughs]

Eric: It’s just the sad truth, Andrew.

Jamie: That’s because Andrew boasts about it every single… Sorry, that’s because Ben boasts about it every single day. He’s like, “So, Ben, are you coming out tonight?” “No, I’m recording MuggleCast and doing my work on the biggest Harry Potter site in the world.”

Eric: Yeah, the average person is under the impression that he spends five hours every day recording MuggleCast.

Jamie: Yeah. We do, don’t we? You know? That’s no lie.

Eric: Oh, absolutely.

Jamie: Five hours a day.

Eric: Yes. The unseen footage is…

Ben: Hey, can you guys hear me? Not you.

Jamie: No.

Eric: What?

Ben: I think I’m going to have to go now.

Eric: Get a girl on, man.

Ben: Hey Natalie. Natalie, come here.

Eric: What do Kansan girls sound like?

Ben: Come on, just say, “Hi.”

Natalie: Hello?

Andrew: It’s so stressful, isn’t it, Natalie? Yeah.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah. Shy.

Ben: Say, “Hi.”

Jamie: Yeah. It’s pretty tough, I must admit.

Ben: Say “Hi, Jamie.”

Natalie: Hi Jamie.

Jamie: Hey.

Eric: Say hi to me!

Ben: That’s Eric.

Natalie: I did!

Natalie: Oh, hi Eric.

Jamie: Say hi to me, is that?

Ben: Hi to you? [laughs]

Eric: Hi! Hi Natalie. How are you?

Natalie: I’m good. How are you?

Eric: I’m going great. So, listen, how is Ben in school? Do you know Ben?

Jamie: Yeah.

Natalie: I do know Ben.

Andrew: Did you ever go to a dance with Ben? Did you ever see him at a dance?

Natalie: No.

Jamie: Is he…

Natalie: Well, I’ve seen him at dances, but I don’t go with him.

Jamie: Is he a…

Andrew: Is he a wallflower? Tell me, are the rumors true?

[Ben laughs]

Natalie: Are the rumors true of what?

Andrew: Is he a wallflower?

Eric: Is Ben a wallflower?

Natalie: A wallflower?

Jamie: Does he just stand by the wall and just do that all evening and look depressed?

Natalie: No, no, he dances.

Jamie: Or does he get up on to the…

Andrew: He dances? Oh, gee.

Jamie: Oh. Is he as much of a player as we’ve heard? They told us…

Eric: Does Ben’s milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

[Ben and Natalie laugh]

Natalie: Yeah. All the boys. Definitely. Mhm.

Jamie: But, no girls?

Eric: Any girls?

Natalie: Of course. [laughs]

Ben: Okay, guys. Are you still there?

[Natalie laughs in background]

Eric: Well, we appreciate talking to you.

Jamie: No, we’ve gone in the one second.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Shut up.

Eric: Thank you, Natalie.

Ben: See yeah, that’s, that’s Moundridge High School for you.

Andrew: The one girl.

Jamie: [laughs] Andrew, put that in. Put that in. That was actually really quite funny, I must admit.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matthew, Megan, Roni, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #54

MuggleCast 54 Transcript


Show Intro


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because quantum theory has too much to theorize – thank you Alice, 28, of Ohio – this is MuggleCast Episode 55 [he means 54] for September 3rd, 2006.

Your number one source for all your internet needs, GoDaddy.com has new domain names, transfers, and renewals for as low as $1.99; plus, check out the hosting plans, website builders, security certificates, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter code HARRY – that’s H-A-R-R-Y – when you check out and save five dollars off of any order of thirty dollars or more. Get your piece of the internet today at GoDaddy.com.

Hello, Potter pickles! [laughs] Welcome back to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …the show. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull. [at the same time as Jamie]

Laura: And I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

Andrew: And this is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, umm…

Jamie: And some other stuff as well.

Andrew: Plumpy pickles, and much more. [laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Plumpy?

Andrew: But before we go anywhere else, a tasty pickle by the name of Micah Tannenbaum is over at the MuggleCast news center with the latest Harry Potter news stories.

Jamie: What’s up, tasty Micah?


News


Micah: Daniel Radcliffe recently announced that he will commence filming for a new ITV drama, My Boy Jack, in the summer of 2007. The show is based on a true story of Rudyard Kipling and his son Jack, who was killed in World War I.

At the Emmy Awards, David Yates-directed film The Girl in the Café won the “Made for TV Movie” award. The movie’s producers announced that David couldn’t attend the ceremony due to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix filming commitments.

Three movie release dates that I mentioned last week have all now been confirmed by Warner Bros. You can always keep up with the latest Order of the Phoenix release dates in our movies section.

Those three release dates included Belgium on July 11th, Denmark on July13th, and Poland on July 20th.

Additionally, Warner Brothers confirmed to us that the fifth Harry Potter movie will be released next year in the Czech and Slovak Republic on July 19th, and in Sweden on July 13th.

We also posted a few new set pictures from the film over on MuggleNet.com.

RupertGrint.net, MuggleNet’s official Rupert fansite, has posted their exclusive interview with the actor who plays Ron Weasley in the Potter films. In it, he talks with site owners Claire and Kelle about everything from his favorite movies to Book Seven theories, and says there will be no Quidditch in Order of the Phoenix.

The Ron Weasley actor will make an appearance on radio talk show hostEdith Bowman’s program this Thursday, September 7 between 1 and 4 PM GMT. Listeners can submit questions, which will be posed to him on air.

Emma Watson has been nominated for a Relly award in the category of Best Junior Achiever by Live with Regis and Kelly. Don’t forget to vote for her, and the winners will be announced on September 22nd.

Finally, as we head out to the 2006 Podcast Awards, the next live Leaky Mug, will be held on September 28th, at Borders in Westwood, located at 1360 Westwood Blvd. in Los Angeles, California. It will start sharply at 7 PM Pacific Time, and we hope to see you there.

That’s all the news for this September 3rd, 2006, edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah.


Jamie’s Contest


Jamie: Eric, complete this sentence for me, okay: “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.” Come on, Eric, you should know this.

Eric: Oh, something about vivacious…

Jamie: Not bad! “This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished; a vital voice once venerated, now vilified.”

Eric: Jamie?

Ben: That’s not even funny.

Jamie: “However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation now stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin…” Actually, the only reason I’m doing this, Ben, is because I wanted to announce a competition, and normally I have waited until once we got into the show. I was so excited about this, I thought, “I have to do this now!” Okay. We want a MuggleCast version of the speech from V for Vendetta. So – and you win a free t-shirt, a very nice t-shirt. And they’re especially limited edition now, because we’re going to have new designs coming out, so please get them while you can.

Eric: Jamie?

Jamie: Yes, Eric?

Eric: What is it with these run-on sentences? You must like grammar. I mean, yes – last episode, you wanted them to do DADA, a sentence of entirely DADA.

Jamie: No, no! I just love sentences.

Eric: Don’t get me wrong, V for Vendetta is a wonderful movie.

Jamie: It is good. You’re right.

Eric: I loved it. It’s excellent. It’s like the – that was brilliant, by the way, too. But I don’t know. How – what does this have to do with a t-shirt?

Jamie: It doesn’t have anything to do with the t-shirt. It’s just a – we want a MuggleCast version of it, like, for example, Muggles. I don’t know. “Majestically moving montage of Muggle…”

Eric: Of mundane!

Jamie: I don’t know – of mundane, yeah. Mundane Marry Potter news.

Ben: Marry Potter news?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Something all – it has to be something that actually makes sense, but yeah. Send them in to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Eric: I must say, you have the most compelling challenges ever. I really like them.

Jamie: Well, that’s extremely kind, Eric. Thank you.

Andrew: What about last week’s contest?

Ben: The California one? Or – no. Crap.

Jamie: What last week’s contest?

Andrew: Well, no, that too. But the DADA.

Jamie: Oh yeah! No see, I didn’t think at the time, because that was – I saw something on TV about one word which you could say five times, no, no, sort of like eight times and if you insert proper grammar, it makes a sentence, and I was somehow under the impression that you could do this with DADA. But apparently you can’t, so I got, like, four hundred emails of just DADADA 900 times, and I wouldn’t have called them sentences.

Andrew: Did you see the one that I forwarded you?

Jamie: No, I don’t think so. Why, was it an actual sentence?

Andrew: Yeah. I think so.

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: I didn’t really read it. [laughs]

Jamie: Do you still have it?

Andrew: I forwarded it to you!

Jamie: Ohhh!

Andrew: Check your G-mail.

Jamie: Check my G-mail, okay then. I’ll check my G-mail. But, yeah. Please send your new versions of the speech from V – mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Andrew: Sounds good. I also wanted to start a new segment this week. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, based on, like, the physical…

Eric: You and your new segments.

Jamie: Geography?

[Phone rings in background]

Andrew: But, I want to just – what is that?

Ben: A telephone.

Eric: Don’t worry about it. I’ll mute myself.

Laura: It’s someone’s phone.

Andrew: Oh. I got excited. I thought it was Jamie’s phone [laughs] making a reappearance.

Jamie: Oh no, I know. It hasn’t.

Andrew: After fifty shows. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s very shy. It’s extremely shy.

[Andrew still laughing]

Jamie: I’ve been trying to convince it to come out at some point.


Jamie’s Back Update


Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, we want to start a new segment this week called “Jamie’s Back Update.”

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: Because people are concerned about your back and I thought maybe we could just…

Ben: Actually, he was faking it all along.

Jamie: Yeah, I was, yeah. I’m sorry. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: No, it is getting a lot, lot better and I’m hoping to be able to move soon. No, no, no.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It is getting a lot, lot better. I’ve just been doing absolutely nothing and it’s getting better and hopefully in like a few days it’s going to be completely back to normal. But, I’m not going to lift any bins filled of water – I’m sorry, trash cans filled with water…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …for a while, I must admit. Thank you very much for everyone’s e-mails saying “please get better.” I am, thank you very much. And actually I just found…

Andrew: There’s some announce…

Jamie: I’m sorry, can I say…

Andrew: Yeah.


DADA Contest Winner


Jamie: I just found that e-mail about the DADA DA.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: It is a very long email with about one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve… [mumbles numbers] About twenty-four DADA. So that prize goes to Jacqueline, 15, from Staten Island…

Andrew: So, did you want to read it?

Jamie: Well, it’s quite long, it is…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Well, I can do a quick one. Okay, one, two, three, go.

[Jamie recites DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Is that for real?

Eric: He is really good at that.

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail really fast]

Eric: He’s still going?

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail]

Jamie: The end! Total DA’s thirty-five.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Thank you.

Andrew: What just happened? That was completely unedited, folks.

Ben: Yeah, that’s…

Andrew: Good job, Jamie. Wow.

Jamie: Thank you.

Ben: Actually, I’m sure I could beat that.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Ben, you couldn’t beat it if you’d taken classes in reading long DADA sentences, okay.

Ben: No, no. In debate we – there’s speed debating.

Jamie: Oh, is there?

Ben: Where we talk about that fast.


Announcements


Andrew: We have some [laughs] announcements this week. Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt. The new designs are on the way – we should roll them out within the next couple weeks and by couple, I possibly mean few.

Jamie: Eighteen.

Andrew: Yeah. Don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley and of course Leaky Mug…

Ben: Wait a second, wait a second.

Andrew: What?

Ben: More on Podcast Alley – please, please vote for us on Podcast Alley. We’re tired of losing to PotterCast. There, I said it. The “P” word.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Vote for us on Podcast Alley, put us over the top for the month. We haven’t won in a while, so help us out.

Andrew: Ummm, the only “P” word we are allowed to say on this show is “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Andrew: No, no…

Ben: MuggleCast 54 – Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, plumb-pickers pickles…

Andrew: Pickles.

Eric: Plumb…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Plumpy pickles.

Andrew: It’s a fun word. Pickles. Everyone say, “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

Laura: Pickles.

Eric: [in a high-pitched voice] Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles. [Laughs]

Eric: Tommy Pickles?

Andrew: [still laughing] Okay – California. Leaky Mug live in California September 28, 7:00 PM at the Borders in Westwood.

Jamie: Be there.

Andrew: In Las Vegas. [laughs] No, not Las Vegas, Los Angeles.

Ben: Sorry, we’re still in Vegas.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We are.

Ben: I left my soul in Vegas; my heart in New York City.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Are you going to do the lyrics thing, Ben?

Ben: The lyrics – about the lyrics. To be honest with you, I’ve been really forgetful lately. I have a bunch of them in my inbox. I’ll sort them out and when Andrew posts the show, we’ll post the winner.

Jamie: Can I summarize what Ben’s saying here, please?

Eric: Since – yeah. Go ahead.

Jamie: I think what he’s saying is that he opens up his G-mail and it says “410 unread messages.” They’re all in black, so you know, he hasn’t read them and he thinks, “I’m going to bed.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m going to bed, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, that’s pretty much… Yeah.

Jamie: That’s about it, though.


PO Box Update


Andrew: And Ben, you got a P.O. Box update for us this week?

Ben: This is the best P.O. Box update of all P.O. Box updates.

Jamie: Yeah. It’s the only one you’ve done.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Sorry. [laughs]

Ben: Firstly – this is going to be weekly from now on or, bi-weekly. Depends on how much stuff we get sent. So, then you should send something in. The first thing I’d like to mention is our featured PO Box Item of the Week. Someone by the name of Sarah Fyack from New Jersey – Andrew’s native state – sent in a drawing of the MuggleCasters with the featured slogan, “I don’t need friends, I’ve got MuggleCast.”

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: Awww.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww.

Ben: Yeah, it is very – it is a really awesome picture, and to be quite honest, Jamie and I both look so hot, it’s ridiculous.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: It’s like she put a hot filter on us.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, yeah. So, I’ll post this – I’ll take a picture of it or scan it or something and we’ll put it in the Show Notes.

Andrew: Yay.

Ben: With ten banner ads around it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, I’m just kidding. The other items that were sent in during this past week: Angeline Kokami and Holly Gart from Canada sent in custom bookmarks for each of the MuggleCasters. Hopefully I’ll send those out soon.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww. Thanks you guys!

Ben: Emily from Washington – Redmond actually, which is where Microsoft was founded, anyways – sent in a wonderful account of a dream in which I made an appearance.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: And Emily, I agree, we are meant for each other. Chelsea from Pennsylvania sent in a Subway gift card. Mary, my fellow Kansan, sent five one-dollar bills for my birthday. Hannah, my number-one fangirl sent in sequins in a card, which I opened and scattered all over my laptop…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …and it took me about twenty minutes getting it out of the keys. Thanks Hannah. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, of course, other letters from Amelia from Canada; Katie from Maine; Lauren from California, who’s very excited about the live podcast; Tracy from Oklahoma, who’s enjoying the heat; Kevin from California; Liz Jah from California for an extremely generous Subway gift card. So, thanks a ton for that. Finally, Jacklyn from Staten Island, the one who won the DADA thing a minute ago – she thought she’d be funny and send Christmas cards already.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But, but, something that’s worth pointing out – there’s only Christmas cards here for Laura, Andrew, Kevin, and Eric. So, looks like Jamie, Micah and myself got the shaft.

Laura, Jamie, and

Andrew:

Awww!

Eric: Just cut Eric’s in half, and we’ll…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, and we’ll split it. Also, thanks to Kyle from New York for the birthday package that he sent me, and to Elizabeth for sending Laura a scarf. I’ll get that out to her as soon as possible.

Laura: Awww! Thank you, Elizabeth!

Ben: So, send us anything, absolutely everything, anything you have. So, something you send may end up as our featured item of the week. So, there’s your incentive. Send something…

Andrew: [laughs] Featured item of the week.

Jamie: We’re the new eBay. We’re the new eBay. Instead of sticking stuff on eBay, just send it to us.

Andrew: We’re selling Laura’s scarf. Bidding starts at five bucks. [laughs]

Laura: No, I want my scarf. That’s mine!

Andrew: [laughs] Just kidding.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Jamie: Pikles.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. [in a nerdy voice] Pickles. [laughs]

Ben: So, that wraps up…

Andrew [laughs]: We’re wasting everyone’s time.

Ben: Remember guys – hey remember, everybody – that is:

MuggleCast
PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas67107

So, there you have it. There you have it.

Andrew: Pickles. Send your pickles to the PO Box. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: If anyone sends pickles, I swear I will flip out, because I hate pickles. Pickles are so gross. I’d rather…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: You just asked for it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, Ben, that’s like saying “Oh, no. Please don’t send me $1,000,000. I really don’t want it, Ben”


Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth


Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week. [laughs] Finally. Erica, 15 from California. She writes:

“Hi, MuggleCasters. I’m just writing in because Eric asked whether Aberforth was acting dumb or if he really was…”

Jamie: Dumb. [laughs]

Andrew: Once again, people aren’t proof-reading.

“I’d like to point out that in Goblet of Fire, pg. 442, US edition, Dumbledore said that when Aberforth got arrested for charming a goat, and it was all in the papers, ‘He held his head high and went about his business as usual. Of course, I’m not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery.'”

Laura: It doesn’t mean he’s stupid.

Eric: He’s not trying to say that he’s dumb.

Eric: No, you just need to…

Eric: He’s stupid, just not dumb.

Eric: Take a look at Episode 53, go about 22:10 in, and I clearly take into account the fact that Dumbledore didn’t know if he could read or not.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: Okay.


Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth’s Reading


Jamie: And this one comes from Issel, 16, from Miami in Florida, with the subject “Aberforth Can’t Read.” Ah.

“Just thought I’d point out that Albus told us that he wasn’t sure his brother could read. I find it odd, in fact, I find a bit of deja vu going on here, I must admit. I find it odd that the brother of the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, can’t read. What does that say about their upbringing? Was Albus normally from a poor, destitute, ill, and illiterate family? Or perhaps Aberforth couldn’t be persuaded to read, and then again, why wouldn’t Albus know if his brother could read or not? Well, maybe it was only a joke. Only Jo really knows.”

In fact, that’s absolutely right. I think we should close down the show and close down everything, ’cause she’s the only one who really knows everything.

Eric: I think it’s suddenly clear to me. I – guys, I know the key to the series or the key to Aberforth is that he’s too busy with goats to care much to read. He never learned to read. He was always, you know…

Ben: I am slappin’ my knee over here.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Jamie, she solved it for us, and she used great words like destitute and…

Jamie: Yeah, they’re nice words.

Eric: Yes.

Laura: Big words, Eric.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: Big words. [laughs]


Listener Rebuttal – Gas Prices


Andrew: Cindy, from New Jersey, writes:

“Episode 53 was my first time listening to your program, and I enjoyed it very much.”

Thank you, Cindy.

“FYI, the person from Australia told you that they pay the equivalent of $0.90 per liter of gasoline. Before this bums you out too much, consider the fact that a gallon of gas is approximately four liters. 4 times $0.90 equals $3.60. Not a bargain at all.”

Good point, Cindy.

Laura: True that.

Andrew: A few people e-mailed this in. There is cheap gas out there in the world.

Jamie: I don’t want to complain, but I feel a complaint coming on at this “$3.60, not a bargain at all.”

Andrew: Yeah, but…

Jamie: It’s the bargain of the century.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’d buy to hoard it, just so I didn’t – just because it was so cheap. If I went to Australia, I’d pack my suitcases with gas, man.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And leave all my clothes there.

Andrew: I have one thing to say.

Jamie: Yeah?

Andrew: Pickle.

Jamie: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. Pickle.

Ben: Stop saying that! That’s annoying! Geez!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Actually, guys, Melissa challenged Andrew and I on Skype the other night to come up with something that the fandom is going to keep saying – like their Dawlish thing. So, let’s make ours “pickle.”

Andrew: Yeah. Pickle. Everyone say “pickle.”

Jamie: No, no, no, no.

Andrew: Shirts with pickles on them.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew [still laughing]: Printed with pickles.

Jamie: Two pickles.

Andrew: You know, that’s the beauty of podcasting. I can keep saying “pickle” and no one can throw me off.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Everyone say it. Just waste everyone’s time.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. [laughs]

Jamie: When you’re you listening to this just think, that we’re actually all sitting here, just saying “pickle.”

[Eric and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: And laugh because of that, okay? Please.


Main Discussion – The Two-Way Mirror


Andrew: Our main discussion this week: The Two-Way Mirror. Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: We’re doing a slightly different sort of re-vamp of the main discussion, where we’re going to have an intro and then main questions. Then, further questions stemming from our main questions, and then a “What if?” section as well.

So, here’s our intro: Before Harry went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays in Order of the Phoenix, Sirius handed him a two-way mirror, telling him to use it whenever he needed to chat. At the time, Harry promised himself he would never use it, as it could potentially draw Sirius out of Grimmauld Place and put him in danger. We don’t hear anything else of this mirror until after Sirius’ death. And we never see it again until the end of the book. After Sirius dies, Harry discovers it at the bottom of his trunk. It bears the following inscription:

“This is a two way mirror. I’ve got the other one of the pair. If you need to speak to me just say my name into it. You’ll appear in my mirror, and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

After Harry reads this, he smashes the mirror in frustration.

Andrew: Oooo.

Ben: Oooo.

Laura: Awww. [laughs]


Two-Way Mirror: A Common Good?


Jamie: Okay, main questions. Number one, was the two-way mirror an invention of Sirius and James, or is it commercially available? As in, can you go on eBay and type in “two-way mirror” and buy one? Any thoughts?

Eric: I did.

Ben: Well of course not, Jamie.

Jamie: What? You can’t go on eBay?

Laura: Sounds like something they could get at Zonko’s.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Mmmm.

Jamie: Or on eBay dot wizard.

Ben: I doubt it was their own invention, but I don’t know. They were very clever though because they invented the Marauder’s Map. So…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: It wouldn’t be beyond them, but I don’t know.

Jamie: But he says that, “James and I used to use them.” I don’t know if he’s talking about the two mirrors as a pair or just the entire thing, you know?

Eric: Oh, a group of them.

Jamie: Because I’d like to think its his invention, but I don’t know.

Andrew: I was just going say if they were commercially available, wouldn’t we have seen them before already?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: That’s true.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s what doesn’t make sense.

Jamie: That’s true.

Ben: Couldn’t Ron or Harry use them? Or students at Hogwarts could probably use them to cheat on tests and stuff too.

Eric: Oooo.

Andrew: Well, you’d have to hold the mirror in front of you.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, but you could just pretend you were checking your hair or something.

Ben: How big is it? I thought it was really small. I didn’t think it was…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughing] It’s a four by six.

Laura: Yeah. I always thought it was just a little hand mirror.

Jamie: [laughing] How are we supposed to know?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’d imagine it being three and a half inches, four, yeah.

Andrew: It’s the size of the one in Snow White that Snow White talks to.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Eric: You just carry it around in your backpack or something.

Jamie: And it has a huge sort of gilded frame around the edges as well.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah. It’s not commercially available.

Andrew: I would guess that…

Eric: Sirius Black now appearing in IMAX.

Jamie: Yeah. No, did you notice it’s just like the 21st Century equivalent of the web cam?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. I was just going to say, is this built by Skype Inc.?


The Same Two Mirrors?


Jamie: Yeah, I think it must be. Question number two, are these two the same mirrors that Sirius and James used? This kind of follows on from the first question. You know, these could be the same two because these are the only two that exist, or you know are these just the same two because Sirius has kept them?

Laura: I think Sirius kept them.

Ben: Well no. They’re the same two because of how he words it. He says, “James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

Jamie: No, but he could mean that James and I used to use the mirrors, you know, this type of mirror? It’s like James…

Ben: I know, but in the previous sentence he just referenced a specific mirror that he gave Harry.

Jamie: No, I don’t know. You could see it either way. That “them”…

Ben: What difference does it make?

Jamie: I don’t know! Its just… Hey, Ben! This is a podcast where we over analyze everything. You can’t say, “What difference does it make?”

Eric: Well no. I think it is the same pair because of the way it’s worded.

Jamie: I agree.

Eric: It says, “James and I used to use them.” I think this wouldn’t be something Sirius wouldn’t have gone out and got another pair of just to do this with Harry.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Eric: First of all, he can’t leave Grimmauld Place, you know. So, I think it makes more sense that he’s had these ever since, you know, he and James were at school – that kind of thing. I don’t know what they’re doing at his house or that’s a question like where’s his motor bike at?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I read a theory once that Harry’s room in Order of the Phoenix, when the Advanced Guard comes and Tonks is in his room she looks at the mirror in his bedroom with – and either fixes her nose or checks her hair or something, and I’ve seen it theorized that that was actually her sending a symbol to somebody with a similar kind of mirror, maybe. Do you guys think that that’s likely that Harry’s own bedroom cupboard might have a mirror on it that would be two-way if there were more than one of these?

Jamie: I don’t know.

Laura: That would be creepy. [laughs]

Ben: That would be awesome. It’s like a spy or something.


Secure Communication?


Jamie: Yeah. When Harry’s lying in bed people could see him through the mirror. Okay, question number three, and this I thought was one of the most important questions. Is this method of communication completely secure?

Andrew: Well, I would think if Sirius gave it to him than he knew there must be some level of security to them.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. I don’t think he’d give him anything that could be compromised at all and it doesn’t seem like it goes through anything else. If you think of Floo Powder, you know, it goes through the central sort of Floo Powder, you know, Department thing and they can monitor. But, I just don’t… This doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that you can monitor.

Eric: You know what it reminds me most of is the mirror in Beauty and the Beast where you have to say the name and it shows you that person, but obviously this is a little bit more restricted.

Jamie: Oooo, yeah.

Eric: That one I imagine it being the same size, around.

Jamie: That kind of thing, yeah.

Andrew: So, are they just two mirrors that Sirius and James put enchantments on?

Jamie: Well, yeah. It could be, yeah. That could be it as well.

Eric: It’s so interesting with pairs. There’s the pair of two way mirrors, the pair of pair of vanishing cabinets, and Dumbledore seemed to have this look of dawning comprehension when he asked Draco on the Lightning-Struck Tower if the vanishing cabinets were a pair?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: And he’s like, “Yeah. Ah.” That’s interesting to know what pairs – what significance they have and stuff. Like would, for instance, in order for you to enchant two-way mirrors would they have to be of the same glass? Would you actually have to, you know, or something like that – buy two mirrors and enchant them or what? Like phoenix feathered pairs. I don’t know. Anyway, do you guys have my Tonks question? I cut out then.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: No.

Jamie: No, we did hear it. It was the one about using Harry’s mirror.

Eric: Yeah, to send a signal or something.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Eric: Is that really likely?

Jamie: It could be, but you’d have to be able to use any mirror then in that case, because I doubt that Harry’s mirror would automatically have a charm on it.

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: Oh.

Jamie: Okay, question number four. Actually, we’ll skip question number four. It was going to be do other people use them, but it was kind of covered in one and two.

Okay, No. 5 – this isn’t really a question, it’s just something I noticed: There seems to be quite a
lot of importance in the series as a whole on mirrors. So, you’ve got –
obviously, the Mirror of Erised, you got the Two-Way Mirror we’ve been
talking about, The Foe-Glass that Moody has, which obviously is important
when Dumbledore and McGonagall burst into the room. You’ve got the mirror in
The Burrow that gives grooming advice and the mirror in The Leaky Cauldron
that commented on Harry’s hair, and said, you know, “You’re fighting a
losing battle, there kid,” or whatever it was. So, I mean, obviously, we’re
going to see the Mirror of Erised again. Well no, actually – or are we? No,
we aren’t – or are we? I can’t remember.

Eric: I don’t think so.

Laura: I don’t think we’ve ever heard anything about that.

Jamie: Oh. Well, that completely…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Guys, are we due up to see – I’m not going to choose a subject, ’cause I
like it a lot – but are we due up to see the Ford Anglia again? Didn’t Jo
say?

Laura: Yes.

Jamie: We are, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I think that’s what I was thinking
of. Not the Mirror of Erised.

Ben: Harry’s going to run over Voldemort and back right over him.

Eric: Yeah.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: [still laughing]: Wasn’t there a mirror that said – Harry said
“I’m not going to die today,” or something, and the mirror’s like “That’s
the spirit, dear.”

Jamie: “That’s the spirit, dear.” Wasn’t the that one in The Leaky Cauldron
as well?

Eric: I’m not sure. There was one in The Burrow.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it did. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it was the one in The Leaky Cauldron.

Eric: I think that was the one in The Burrow.

Ben: Don’t you know how like, in the Wizarding world things are special, and
how the pictures move? So, maybe it’s the same thing with all mirrors – can
talk to you.

Jamie: Oh yeah, it could be.

Eric: I don’t know, though. It’s not like the – speaking of Beauty and
the Beast
again – the wardrobe in that one. That’s what I imagine when I
think of you know, “Tuck your shirt in, scruffy,” or whatever. I imagine the
wardrobe woman was like, you know? But, these – I’m not quite sure. That’d
be a little freaky if all your mirrors could talk to you.

Jamie: It would be.

Eric: Like they were watching you or something.

Jamie: But, it does show, though, that they’ve been used extensively. I
mean, the first book, obviously it’s pivotal. But the Two-Way Mirror could
have been pivotal as well.

Eric: Yeah, some of them have voices. So, that’s really weird.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Like, I mean we could ask the same question about the mirror in
The Burrow that gives the grooming advice.

Jamie: Oh yeah, definitely.

Andrew: Is it commercially available, or is it enchanted like a lot of the stuff in the Weasley household is by Mrs. Weasley?


Harry’s Fault Sirius Died?


Jamie: Okay, Question number six: Assuming using the Mirror would have saved
Sirius’ life, is it Harry’s fault he died?

Eric: Oh, Harry guilts himself enough. No, it’s not Harry’s fault he died.

Laura: No.

Ben: No.

Eric: But, that’s not to say it doesn’t absolutely suck that Harry was a
little bit you know, on the noble side and he didn’t use it to check on
Sirius when he had the vision.

Jamie: But he could’ve warned him.

Laura: Yeah, but Sirius was also on the noble side. He was told to stay at
Grimmauld Place, and didn’t.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: No, he didn’t, but after Harry you know, saw him lying in the
Department of Mysteries, Voldemort you know, standing over him –

Eric: He should have checked.

Jamie: He could have checked with him easily.

Laura: Yeah, but he never opened the package, so he didn’t know that the
Mirror was in there.

Jamie: Are you sure?

Laura: Yeah, he didn’t open it until after Sirius died.

Jamie: Oh, oh, right, okay. Of course, okay.

Andrew: Yeah, he totally smashed it.

Eric: Didn’t he go into… I haven’t gotten there yet in the book I’m reading, but didn’t he ask Kreacher where Sirius was or something?

Laura: Yeah, Kreacher lied. [laughs]

Eric: Kreacher lied. Ah, I hate Kreacher.

Jamie: Didn’t his mum tell him that you don’t lie?

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Very, very bad.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: They’re pure-blood. I don’t think they would have said anything, so…

Jamie: Maybe not. Well, it’s very disappointing, I must admit.

Eric: [laughs] So, it’s bad up-bringing, then. Are you on Hermione’s
side with Kreacher, that he’s really a nice chap.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. He’s just misunderstood. He’s just misunderstood. You know?

Laura: Deranged.

Jamie: But, okay, it isn’t Harry’s fault he died, but do you think this
could be significant now in the series? That it’s just one more thing that
Harry blames himself for, it’s one more thing he has to revenge.

Laura: Well, of course.

Jamie: It’s one more thing that could empower him.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’s just something that could have been different, you know? It’s
just, I don’t know – I’d like to find out if he’s going to Reparo the
Mirror and use it again.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Kind of like the mysterious – I mean, it wouldn’t be entirely out of
hand considering The Marauder’s Map just suddenly appeared in Book Five
after it was supposed to be in Imposter Moody’s office. You know, stuff like
that.

Laura: Well, didn’t Jo say that we would see the Mirror again?

Eric: The Two-Way Mirror?

Jamie: What, the Two-Way Mirror?

Ben: Yeah, she did. She did.

Eric: She did? Oh, wow.

Jamie: All right, well, that leads very nicely into Question 10 – skipping a
couple of questions…

Andrew: Well, wait.

Jamie: What?

Andrew: If we saw the Two-Way – if we’re seeing it again, doesn’t that mean
there’s more than one since Harry smashed his?

Jamie: No, no.

Andrew: Unless it’s repaired.

Eric: Well, Reparo.

Jamie: Harry could. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Or he’ll just run into where it’s briefly mentioned. [laughs]
“Harry saw the Mirror.” [still laughing]

Jamie: Harry could step on the shards accidentally, and there we are. We’d see
it again.


Contacting Sirius


Jamie: No, but it leads into: Will it contact Sirius from beyond the
grave?

Eric: Depends, if he had his mirror with him. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah. In the book…

[Jamie, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Jamie: That’s awesome I didn’t even consider that.

Laura: In Order of the Phoenix, didn’t it say something along the
lines of “Harry said it wouldn’t work because Sirius didn’t have his mirror
with him when he fell through the veil”?

Jamie: Yeah, he’s like “Excuse me, Bellatrix, do you think you could you
just wait one second?”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: “I have to go and get my mirror.”

Ben: Hold on, hold on though. Wouldn’t – I was under the impression that these
mirrors were tiny and they could fit into your pocket. I didn’t think they
were ones that you hold in your hand. When I thought of a Two-Way Mirror…

Eric: Well, you have to put it in your pocket from your hand, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: They’re like, hand-held, but they’re not huge is what I think we’re
saying. Like they are pocket – they are pocket mirrors.

Jamie: I think they probably are. But, so yeah. I think we’ve got to
conclude there that he [laughs] could contact Sirius from beyond the
grave…if he’s got his mirror with him.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, that’s the question. Why did Sirius – do you guys remember this?

Laura: That’s kind of gross.

Eric: Did he just walk out? Was he just tired of waiting? Like, how did he
get to the Department of Mysteries?

Laura: He came with the rest of the Order.

Eric: Oh, he came with the rest. Because they… Yeah. Okay. So…

Jamie: He got a bus.

Eric: Right.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, the Knight Bus, though, you know Stan Shunpike is mentioned in every book since Book Three?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah?

Eric: That’s just one of those other weird things.

Andrew: That’s not every book.

Eric: It is every book.

Laura: Every book since Book Three.

Andrew: Since Book Three.

Eric: Since Book Three. It’s, you know…

Andrew: So what?

Eric: Well, that’s just one of those…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s like Aberforth – somebody sent in a rebuttal to me saying that Aberforth was hinted at since Book Four, and I think, well, Stan Shunpike is the same way, and these things are leading somewhere, obviously.

Jamie: Perhaps.

Andrew: Yes.


Breaking of the Mirror Symbolic?


Jamie: Yeah. Okay, question number eight, now. I think we’re going backwards. Is the breaking of the mirror symbolic?

Eric: Yes, because seven years bad luck…

Ben: Seven years of bad luck…

Laura: … Bad luck [laughs]

Eric: It’s the seven years bad luck, and it’s the seven years of Harry Potter.

Jamie: Seven years of bad luck? It’s a bit late isn’t it? Him breaking it in Book Sox.

Laura: [laughs] That’s true.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Should’ve broken it in Book Once. But, yeah, because it was kind of – I can’t remember exactly, because I haven’t read it for a while, but didn’t he break it and Jo wrote a sort of purging of emotion there, that he sort of, he broke it and then that was it. And then, you know? I don’t know.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know how to say it. Like a kind of, “Harry threw the mirror, it broke into a thousand pieces, and he stood there staring into space, thinking, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’…..like that.

Andrew: Does anyone know where in the book it is? Because I have the book.

Laura: It’s in…

Jamie: The end, presumably.

Ben: Order of the Phoenix.

Laura: Yeah, it’s…

Andrew: No, I know that.

Laura: It’s in…

[Ben laughs]

Laura: …the very last chapter, I think.

Jamie: It’s before Sirius dies. He breaks the mirror because Sirius has died, before he dies. [mutters] Andrew, just go before it, quickly.

Laura: [laughs] What?

Andrew: No I…

Eric: Hang on.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I love being stupid.

Andrew: Wait, it’s in the last… Oh.

Laura: Yeah, it’s right before he goes and finds Luna, and she’s saying that all these people stole her stuff.

Eric: “He looked around to make sure there was nobody else there. The dormitory was quite empty. He looked back to the mirror, raised it in front of his face, with trembling hands and said, loudly and clearly, ‘Sirius.’ His breath misted the surface of the glass. He held the mirror even closer, excitement flooding through him, but the eyes blinking back at him through the fog were definitely his own. He wiped the mirror clean again, said till every syllable rang clearly through the room, ‘Sirius Black.’ Nothing happened. The frustrated face looking back out of the mirror was still definitely his own. ‘Sirius didn’t have his mirror on him when he went through that archway,’ said a small voice in Harry’s head. ‘That’s why it’s not working.'”

Eric: Well he doesn’t know that for sure, but…

Ben: Well, what Harry’s going to do, is he’s going to go to the veil and just throw…

Laura: Just throw in the mirror…

Eric: Throw in the mirror.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Mirror. Turn this on, loser. You forgot this.

Jamie: No, no – he calls…

Eric: He says, Sirius, you forgot this. You forgot your mirror.

Jamie: [laughs] He calls Sirius Black and it goes, “I’m sorry, the person you are calling is dead.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [imitates telephone’s unrecognized number tone] “The person you are calling is beyond the veil right now.”

Jamie: “The person you are calling is dead.”

Andrew: It goes on to say, “Disappointment was burning in his throat. He got up and began throwing his things pell…” Pell-mell? Never heard of that.

Laura: Pell-mell. [laughs]

Andrew: “…into the trunk, on top of the broken mirror.”

Eric: “Then an idea struck him. A better idea than the mirror.”

Andrew: [laughs] Is this popcorn reading?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: [laughs] Yes, it is popcorn reading. I’m glad – it’s good use of the term, too. You understand it. That’s good. At least if you’re going to make fun of it.

Andrew: Yeah, I know. I did it when I was in, like, fifth grade.

Eric: Okay, good. More importantly…

Jamie: That’s the end of our main questions.

Andrew: [sighs] So…

Eric: Hurdle across to – hang on. Wait!

Andrew: So, really, Harry is just assuming that it’s…

Jamie: That, er…

Andrew: …that he doesn’t have the mirror with him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So, potentially, he could still have the mirror with him.

Jamie: He could do. That’s if he is still alive, of course. It’d be quite hard to work it if he’s dead.

Eric: “He just hurled the mirror back into the trunk, where it shattered. He had been…” Wait! “He had been convinced for a whole shining minute that he was going to see Sirius, talk to him again.” Isn’t this like being convinced for a whole couple of minutes that he is going to live with Sirius?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s a good…

Ben: It’s almost like when he was convinced for a couple minutes that he saw his dad.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s actually true.

Jamie: It’s all these moments of…

Eric: All these moments of false happiness.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That one can only just have, you know?

Jamie: Pickle.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Pickle.


What If…Harry Had Used The Two-Way Mirror


Jamie: So, I think we have covered the further questions in the main questions, really. So, should we go on to “What if?” Okay. What would have happened if Harry had used the two-way mirror and spoken to Sirius? Would Sirius still be alive? And would the prophecy have been smashed? And would all of Dumbledore’s stuff have been chucked about and [laughs] – and, smashed, or what?

Eric: [laughs] I think – it’s a question, because I think he would have gotten a direct line to Sirius through the mirror. He wouldn’t have had to – he wouldn’t have believed Kreacher that he was gone, and that kind of stuff. So, obviously they wouldn’t have that confrontation, but you struggle to think that in times of – in situations would Harry have really thought to use the mirror? But…

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: Once as he thought to search for Kreacher, when he went through the fireplace, or whatever, for that, so it only makes sense that he would’ve thought of the mirror, if he knew what it was, and probably used it. So, I’m inclined to say he would have found Sirius would be all right. But then that’s the other question: can really – so much happened that night, it was just like. Eventually I think they would have had to wind up at the Department of Mysteries, the question is: would Sirius be dead?

Jamie: No. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true, too. Considering he didn’t take it with him.

Jamie: It’s just like a cell phone. It’s just like a cell phone. It rings and you take it out, but instead of putting it to your ear you just stare into it.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It’s like Skype video.

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

Eric: No, just staring at it would do the trick.


The Guilt


Jamie: Yeah, it would. Okay, “What if” number two: Will Harry’s guilt over not using it impact events in Book Seven? Already talked about that.

Andrew: He has guilt over a lot of things.

Jamie: Laura you think it will, right?

Eric: I think all of his emotions will just work in Book Seven. It’s… You know?

Jamie: Laura, you had a good point about this before. That it isn’t his fault that Sirius died, but it’s going to…

Laura: Well, yeah. It’s going to add to his motivation to succeed…

Eric: Yeah, just as long as no one’s saying…

Laura: …to avenge Sirius.

Eric: As long as no one’s saying, “Give yourself to the dark side”, I’ll be okay reading Book Seven.

Laura: What?


Repairing The Mirror To Contact Sirius


Andrew: So, let’s draw some conclusions here. Could Harry possibly repair his mirror in order to recontact Sirius?

Jamie: Yes.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: Because JK Rowling has made it clear that… Okay.

Laura: Sure.

Ben: …things can be repaired…

Jamie: It’s just like a thousand piece puzzle…

Andrew: It could appear in Book Seven again…

Eric: God, when does that – oh, wait! That’s another thing: the Ford Anglia. That’s why Harry has to go back to Hogwarts, because that thing is still in the forest, and we need to see it again.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Okay, whatever.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, go on Andrew, do you want to move onto dating?


MuggleCast Dating Service


Andrew: [laughs] Sure, let’s move on now to the MuggleCast Dating Service. You know…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …it has been a pretty surprising success, and we’re trying to get a couple of people together on dates, and [in weird, deep voice] I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: But I’ll tell you right now it’s going to be a whole lot of dating.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: But… So we’ll have another update on the dating service next week, because we’re trying to get some cute little relationships worked out.


Discussing Chapter-by-Chapter


This week we are going to try a brand new segment that we didn’t even talk about next week – er, last week. And, by the way, hate to do it to everyone but Chapter-by-Chapter is getting pushed back again. Probably until next week. But, Eric, you’re going to New Zealand when?

Eric: Next Sunday. Eleven days.

Andrew: So…

Eric: Yeah, I was thinking about that. How’s the first week in October for everybody?

Jamie: Sounds fine.

Laura: Sounds good to me.

Eric: But…

Andrew: [in high pitched voice] Good. Yay, pickle!

Eric: But, but, but, but you guys have got to agree that it’s going to have a structure. I’m going to be doing this outline, we’re all going to agree on it, and we’re all going to participate. Is that correct?

Jamie: As long as we don’t – as long as it doesn’t take half an hour, yeah. Because it…

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: I think it is very good when it doesn’t drag out. When it drags out it gets old very quickly. So I think we…

Eric: Well, yeah.

Andrew: That’s why it’s got to get structured.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: So as I said, each of these has a different feel to it. Each of them will need a different outline that suits the book.

Jamie: Okay, fair enough.


Debate: Should Hogwarts Stay Open?


Andrew: Okay, so we are going to do a brand new segment this week, which we’ve been actually thinking about for a while. We don’t even have a title for this new segment this week, so we’re just going to call it Debate. Ben, why don’t you explain this new segment?

Ben: Well a long, long time ago I said…

Jamie: In a galaxy far, far away.

Eric: Far away.

Ben: …Far, far away. Everyone knows me as the debate guy, I’m on my high school’s debate team, kind of won State last year, you know?

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben: So I thought, “Let’s have a Harry Potter debate.” Here is how it works. Each week we’re going to be debating a resolution and those of you who participate in high school debate will know what I’m talking about, but anyways, this week, for example, is going to be…

Andrew: [laughs] Anyone who doesn’t is screwed.

[Jamie and Eric laugh]

Ben: …Hogwarts. Just listen, just listen. This week is going to be “Hogwarts should be open for Harry’s seventh year.” Okay? There will be an affirmative team, which affirms resolution, which argues, saying that Hogwarts should be open. And on that side, this week, is going to be Jamie and myself. And then there will be the negative team which says Hogwarts shouldn’t be open, which is Eric and Laura. And something that I need to remind everybody of – everyone that is arguing, Andrew who is going to be our judge, and the people listening to the show: it is not an argument over whether or not Hogwarts will be open, it’s an argument whether or not Hogwarts should be open, which definitely opens it up to a lot of interpretation.

And so here is the format: the affirmative team, Jamie and myself, gets two minutes to present our case uninterrupted. The negative team will get two minutes to do the same. Following that there will be five to ten minutes of open discussion, where each side will get to ask each other questions and respond openly to each other’s arguments. Then at the end each side, starting with the affirmative, will get one minute to tell you why you should vote for them. Andrew, who is going to be our judge, will decide who he thinks should win the round, and this will count for 25 percent of the vote. The other 75 percent of the vote will be based off the listeners, with a poll on mugglecast dot com. So, is everybody ready?

Laura: Sort of.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Yay!

Ben: Sort of? This is intense.

Jamie: You go first, Benjamin, because you’ve…

Eric: We’re kind of… [laughs]

Jamie: …dusted before and we haven’t dusted.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Andrew, Andrew are you timing?

Andrew: Yeah, let me get up a clock. Okay, ready, set, go!

Ben: Okay. The first reason that they should keep Hogwarts open is because of safety. Because Hogwarts is this big safe haven where everyone can meet up, and if we have all these people and all the children in one place, particularly the protection of minors, we’ll be able to keep them safe from the Death Eaters, particularly if we have the Aurors stationed around.

The second main reason that we should keep Hogwarts open, is because by closing Hogwarts it is essentially admitting defeat. It’s letting the bad guys win. So, it’s quite clear that we should keep Hogwarts open for those two reasons. Specifically ,the safety, and because it would be admitting defeat. Like in the war on terrorism, if we were all to go and become hermits and hide in our houses, it just wouldn’t make sense because it would be like saying the terrorists win. And so, the people at Hogwarts, the Board of Governors, should not let the Death Eaters win. Now, go Jamie!

Jamie: Also it should be kept open because education will always remain important. However many wars there have been, there will still be children, there will still be children who will become adults. Everyone needs to be educated. You cannot – the war is important, it’s going on now, we have to win. However, Hogwarts has survived a thousand years, and it can survive a thousand more. And children still need to be educated all the time, so it has to remain open for that reason.

Ben: How long was that?

Eric: You guys have forty seconds left.

Andrew: A minute.

Jamie: Forty seconds left?

Ben: Forty seconds left? Oh, lets keep talking then.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: They have to be fools to close Hogwarts, just think about it.

Andrew: Thirty.

Ben: We have to be able to keep Hogwarts open because it’s a safe haven for everybody. Just think about it; why would you close down this educational facility…

Jamie: It’s a stronghold.

Ben: …when the next generation is going to be…

Jamie: Ben, Ben, it’s a stronghold, isn’t it?

Ben: Yeah. Especially ,during times of war. Parents…

Andrew: Ten.

Ben: … don’t have time to home school their students, their kids, so they’ll have to send them to Hogwarts, and it makes the most sense. Hogwarts needs to stay open…

Andrew: Three.

Ben: …and it should stay open.

Andrew: Two.

Jamie: Amen, brother.

Andrew: One. Okay.

Eric: That ended nicely.

Andrew: Argument from the…

Laura: Oh, hang on two seconds.

Andrew: …what was it called again? Negative side.

Laura: My only thing is that mine comes across as saying that it won’t be – I mean, I’m going to try to make it make as much sense as humanly possible. But, whatever.

Andrew: When you’re ready.

Laura: At the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, readers discover that they will not be seeing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry again – at least not through Harry’s eyes. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that Hogwarts will be seen as a learning institution, at all in the final book of the series. Despite Professor Sprout’s unabashed optimism that if even one student wanted to learn, the school should remain open, it is not possible for Hogwarts to continue providing a formal education as it has been. The leading cause of this is the ongoing war outside the school’s walls. It must be remembered that war does not just affect people personally; businesses fail and economies struggle. Ollivander won’t be the first or last shop owner to disappear from Diagon Alley, so it’s not as if students can just stroll down the streets to the usual locations in order to buy books and supplies. Now that the wizarding world at large is taking Voldemort’s return seriously, parents won’t be looking forward to sending their children back to school, particularly after it was infiltrated by Death Eaters.

During times of war, people tiptoe. They don’t make large financial decisions, and education in a boarding school setting is going to take a backseat until Voldemort is rid of. That’s not to say that the Ministry won’t provide some sort of home study program in order to supplement students. A struggling economy does not lend itself to allow a small number of students to populate a large school such as Hogwarts. Besides, several of the Hogwarts teachers are Order members, and especially after Dumbledore’s death, they are needed now more than ever to continue the fight against Voldemort. Most people will be torn between two decisions: wanting to remain safe, or wanting to do their part to help in the war. It will be a very small number of students who wish to remain inside the school walls, while battles rage on outside of them. So, while it’s nice to daydream about the little school that could, Hogwarts should not facilitate an educational system during the course of the seventh Harry Potter novel because it can’t. [chokes] Thank you. [laughs] I just choked.

Eric: Oh my god.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: That was…

Eric: I just, okay, I have fifteen seconds to say, Laura. That was absolutely brilliant. Any doubts I had that our side might actually do good have been completely vanquished, and that is just amazing. Thank you. Three seconds to go. You saved my butt. Thank you so much. Winning team!

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Laura, I’m going to grill you harder than a well-done steak in a…

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Now, it’s time for the open discussion.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Go ahead.

Ben: Okay, I’ll start this off. Okay, Laura, you bring up the point that it’s not possible for Hogwarts to provide education, and that there’s an ongoing war outside of Hogwarts walls, and then you go on to mention that businesses and economies fail during times of war. However, isn’t it important to provide education for the students who are going to Hogwarts, now, to prevent future businesses and economies from failing?

Eric: Well, who said it takes intelligence to run business?

Laura: Yeah, exactly. And the thing is, while…

Ben: No, but it’s the same thing… It’s…

Laura: …this is…

Ben: It’s the same thing with our generation. If you don’t get your education now, you’re not going to be able to become a productive member of society.

Eric: That’s what the people say who…

Ben: You’re less likely to.

Laura: That’s not true. That’s absolutely…

Ben: You are definitely…

Laura: …not true.

Ben: Okay, look at the trends in society. Those who are more educated have higher salaries and are much more likely to become productive members of society. Don’t even tell me for one second that if these kids stay at home and don’t get their education, that they’re going to help out in some way.

Laura: But that’s not true. They can get their education at home. They absolutely can get their education at home.

Jamie: Aren’t we missing the vital point that, World War I, school stayed open. World War II, school stayed open. Even in world wars, you can’t lose sight of the fact that it’s a generational conflict. It isn’t… Until nuclear stuff comes out, and I don’t think Voldemort’s going to drop an H bomb on Hogwarts, you know? Until we’ve got mutually assured destruction in the wizarding world, there’s still going to be a generation after. There still is going to be… You still have to educate the masses. You can’t just stop providing welfare for this. That’s completely ignoring the fact that Hogwarts is the safest place in the wizarding world for things. It would be like immorally abandoning the children.

Eric: Is it that Dumbledore’s dead?

Laura: Is it anymore, though? Dumbledore’s dead.

Ben: No, but that doesn’t matter. Okay, what you have to weigh is, where are the students going to be safer?

Laura: It does matter…

Ben: No, listen. Where are the students going to be safer? At Hogwarts, where they can be under the protection of the Ministry of Magic, or at home, when…

Eric: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Jamie: And the teachers. And the teachers, as well…

Eric: The Minister is going to protect Hogwarts, first of all. And second of all…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …I actually think in their homes is safer, in some ways, because Hogwarts is a single target. If you want to go after Hogwarts, now that Dumbledore is gone…

Jamie: Stronger united than we are divided, Eric.

Eric: Yeah, well, no, that’s true, but in their separate little homes, Voldemort’s not going to go knocking at everybody’s door until the very end, where eventually everything will eclipse, and people can’t escape. But I’m saying, if want to go and destroy Hogwarts, you might be able to do it if you’re Voldemort, now, because Dumbledore is dead. So, if everybody – if all the students and everything are at Hogwarts, and Voldemort tries to take Hogwarts, it might be slightly easier than if they’re all in their little homes and villages as far away as Suffolk, and, you know?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Exactly. The Ministry is not going to want to have to protect such a large target.

Eric: But I think it’ll be easier to protect.

Jamie: I still think it’s the safest place to be, though. At home, you’re all – you’re so disunited there, you’ve still got all the teachers there. If you think teachers are going to be possibly the best wizards and witches, they’re the people who teach the students, you know? I just think that I would rather be there, living in a castle that’s protected by enchantments, living in a castle under the eye of teachers, living in a castle that has protection I don’t even know about, living in a place where we’re all together. You know?

Laura: Yeah, where Voldemort knows where you are.

Jamie: But he’d know where you are, anyway. He’d just goes to a house and says he’s going to be a…

Laura: Not if you went into hiding.

Jamie: Oh, right. Well, fine. Fine.

Ben: So you’re still…

Jamie: We’ll build a nuclear bunker then, and go down there, and…

Laura: Hey, people do it. People do it.

Eric: The problem with hiding – that’s the thing is these students aren’t going to be the ones fighting the war, which is why I think it’s okay for them to go home, go into their homes…

Jamie: Okay, Eric.

Eric: …and be okay, because it’s not like you’re hiding and waiting for Voldemort to take over, because in certain ways these students would just be students of learning. I think learning is very important, but, at the same time, the people who are fighting the war against Voldemort will be the ones who make the advancements, will be the ones who stop him. And, actually, going into hiding isn’t necessarily letting the bad guys win, in this case…

Ben: Yes, it is.

Jamie: It is.

Laura: No, it’s not.

Ben: It totally is. Listen…

Eric: The people who were fighting Voldemort will remain fighting Voldemort. They aren’t the ones who will go into their homes. The people who are going into their homes…

Ben: I know, but when something begins to – when you let it affect the everyday lives of your citizens, is when you let the bad guys win.

Jamie: Exactly. You’re completely admitting defeat when, you know, when you do that. After this war is over – and it will end, obviously – there are going to be children having no direction, nowhere to go. I’m sure if – especially, I doubt that every other wizarding school in the world is going to close down. You can’t – one school closes down…

Laura: Yeah, but is every other…

Jamie: …it’s going to look terrible, as well.

Laura: Is every other wizarding school in the world such a big target as Hogwarts is? Because it’s been said from day one…

Jamie: They’re still centers. They’re still centers.

Laura: …that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts… No, it’s been said from day one that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts and turn it into a school of the Dark Arts if Dumbledore wasn’t there.

Jamie: But if they close down Hogwarts…

Ben: But I think it’s important…

Jamie: …then he’ll take it, anyway. It’s like giving it to him. They might as well wrap it in a…

Laura: Yeah, but at least then he doesn’t have a school full of students to take over.

Jamie: But then he has it permanently. He has it permanently.

Ben: Okay, something else that’s important to point out is that there is no other alternative to education. Home…

Laura: That’s not true.

Ben: Home study programs – what do you do? No, it’s been proven that they have to have some instruction how to do these spells. You can’t get everything from just reading a book. That’s not how it works, and when you have parents who are off working, you can’t just give the children a book to read at home and expect them to be able to just do magic right away. They have to have a place to get their education, and it makes sense for Hogwarts to stay open. As Jamie said before, Voldemort is only the worst wizard in the past hundred years and Hogwarts has been open for thousands of years, so it’s been open through previous wars. It doesn’t make sense to close it just because of the fact that Voldemort’s out on the run. That’s admitting defeat. That’s saying we should all go hide inside of our homes…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: It’s not. It’s absolutely not.

Ben: No, it is. No, it is. I’m drawing the parallel of 9/11 again, but after the terrorist attacks, it’d be like saying we shouldn’t have football games because all these people are…

Jamie: We shouldn’t fly in planes as well. We shouldn’t fly in planes.

Eric: Well…

Ben: We’re still going to have the football games. We shouldn’t fly in planes. We should just stop. We should all go hide in our basements because of the fact that Osama Bin Laden’s after us. It doesn’t work like that. People need…

Laura: People aren’t hiding, Ben. Are you telling me that you think all of the people on Harry’s side from school aren’t going to go out and fight against the Death Eaters? Because I think they are.

Jamie: No, of course they won’t.

Laura: I don’t think they need school.

Ben: What are they going to do? They need to have their education first. They’re going to be worthless against a bunch of adult wizards…

Laura: No, they don’t.

Ben: …who have had their education.

Eric: They’ve had their education. Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Hogwarts needs to stay open so that they can learn.

Laura: Yeah, don’t you see the point behind Dumbledore’s Army, at this point? Those students learned way more in Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Right, but there will be no more Dumbledore’s Army.

Laura: It doesn’t – they don’t need Hogwarts…

Ben: There’ll be nothing.

Laura: …to have Dumbledore’s Army.

Jamie: Of course they do!

Laura: No, they don’t. That was clearly exhibited in Book Six.

Jamie: This is so, this so, you know, Dumbledore’s Army, it’s a thing of students who are going to go and take on the Death Eaters and emerge victorious. It isn’t a fairy tale. They’ll go over there and half of them will be killed. Those two sisters, whose younger brother was killed by Greyback, they are not going to want to fight a war like this. They’re going to want to stay in the school and watch the news and see what’s going on from that perspective. You can’t just completely close down their social hub just because there is a war going on, you know.

Laura: I don’t know…

Eric: Because that’s why Harry’s…

Laura: I think if my little brother were killed by people I’d want to go out and fight the people that did it.

Eric: And that’s exactly why Harry is leaving Hogwarts.

Ben: That’s your mentality…

Jamie: Exactly…

Ben: … but you also have to think about the fact of what’s going to be better for the students? What are they going to think is better for them: stay at home and have a chance of being killed, or go to school, have fun with your friends, and face the same chances?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I think Hogwarts is safer. Even though Hogwarts has been infiltrated in the past with the Vanishing Cabinets, don’t you think security is going to be so much more tighter? It’s like saying after 9/11, that they’re going to use the airplanes again. It’s not going to happen.

Laura: Yes, but see there’s…

Ben: Security is so tight. They’ve already broken up attacks with the airplanes. It’s the same thing with infiltrating Hogwarts, they’re not going to be able to do it again. They’re going to attack some other way, and I don’t think that…

Laura: Exactly. They will attack another way.

Ben: …they should close down Hogwarts.

Laura: It’s just like – you bring up 9/11. People are afraid of the security of subways and trains because people are more focused on planes, now. People are – they’re going to be more focused on the secret passages into Hogwarts now. I mean, there’s going to always be a weakness, and…

Ben: But…

Laura: …the worst thing that you can do…

Ben: But at the same time, the people at Hogwarts are going to be concerned about those places too.

Laura: Sure, they will, but there will always be weaknesses. There are always going to be places where Death Eaters can get into the school, and the worst thing that they can do is assemble thousands of students there to be taken hostage.

Jamie: No, but it isn’t assembling them, they’re there already.

Eric: What Laura and I are saying, and I’ll put this into a nice little parody, a nice little story here…

Jamie: Well, thanks for that, Eric.

Eric: …is – you’re welcome – is that after 9/11, it significantly hurt plane travel. It didn’t – obviously it didn’t stop planes, but people were a little bit more wary of travel, and especially if they were planning a vacation to the Middle East, nobody does that anymore. [laughs] So, I think it’s a matter of just – obviously, we’re not flying. We are staying home instead of – say you were planning a trip to the Middle East. Obviously now you’re not going to go there because it’s a war zone, you could get killed. But at the same time, our leaders – Bush and everybody – are still fighting. They’re still sending troops over there, and the war is going on, but we’re in the comfort of our own home. We’re not over at Iraq fighting. You know, we’re not – say it’s being shipped to Iraq, just for a family vacation or something. You’re not going to do that because it’s a war zone, but you are at home, but our leaders are still fighting. The people who can win the war are still fighting the war, and…


Debate Continued


Ben: But Eric, here are the options that you’re faced with: you close down Hogwarts, you eliminate a place for education. You make it… You are bending to the bad guy’s will, and then, furthermore, we have to weigh that as we’re going to have this generation of people who are uneducated. What about the first-years – the incoming first-years? There’s always people at different levels of education…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …within Hogwarts and it doesn’t make sense to close it down completely, to close it down. You have to weigh that up between that and the risk of Voldemort sieging Hogwarts, which doesn’t seem as likely because security is going to be so much more tighter.

Jamie: They’re going to have Aurors…

Ben: So much tighter…

Jamie: …all over the place.

Ben: …after what happened before.

Jamie: The place is going to be swarming with Aurors.

Eric: Yeah, but it was still so tight. If…

Laura: Yeah, the place was swarming with Dementors during Harry’s third year and Sirius Black still got in.

Eric: And that’s the thing – it was good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore had all his possible…

Jamie: Laura, Sirius Black is awesome. He could…

Laura: It doesn’t matter that he’s awesome. He was able to get past Death Eaters.

Jamie: He could… No, I don’t care.

Laura: Dementors, excuse me.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s different! Sirius Black found a way to get past them in the dog form, you know? It’s completely different. It’s…

Laura: No, it’s not completely different…

Jamie: Of course it is!

Laura: … because he was able to break their security.

Jamie: Of course it is. It’s completely different.

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security measures, Death Eaters got in, and, as a result, he was killed.

Jamie: That is one…

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security – they were good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore knew more languages than Harry had ever heard of. Dumbledore is one of the most powerful wizards ever…

Jamie: Was one of the most powerful wizards ever.

Eric: …and even he overlooked some of these things.

Jamie: Every – that isn’t a reason to close… That isn’t a reason to…

Laura: He was fooled by a student, basically.

Jamie: He wasn’t fooled by a student. He was fooled by the fact…

Laura: Yes, he was.

Jamie: …that he didn’t – that he hadn’t considered the…

Laura: Death Eaters got into his school due to a student.

Jamie: Because…

Ben: Okay, but that does not justify closing Hogwarts…

Jamie: It doesn’t even nearly justify it. It’s one…

Ben: It… You have to have…

Laura: They were going to close Hogwarts because one student died there. In Harry’s second year.

Jamie: Exactly, and they didn’t because they realized that you can’t…

Laura: They didn’t because Harry solved it. Harry went and retrieved Ginny from the chamber. They would have closed Hogwarts if Ginny had died.

Jamie: You can’t say that. That is – I disagree completely.

Laura: Yes, they would’ve. The school governors were going to close the school.

Jamie: Yeah, but they were…

Laura: That’s the whole reason that Harry was motivated – I mean, apart from the fact that it was Ron’s little sister.

Jamie: Until they’ve caught the thing – until they caught the person, that it an acute problem. This war is chronic.

Ben: Never-ending. It’s…

Jamie: It’s going to be – you cannot…

Ben: It’s a war of ideologies. You can’t say, you can’t signal an end, because there’s always going to be the bad guys.

Jamie: It’s just stepped up a bit. It’s just intensified. Exactly. You can’t… You are basically saying, “We cannot handle this situation. We are leaving welfare, we are leaving education so we can put everything into this war.” You cannot do that. As Ben said, the people going into their first years…

Laura: But that’s what they’ve been doing all these years. They’ve been putting mediocre Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in place.

Eric: And the school was never the target. That’s the thing about World War II. Schools were – yes, schools remained in session, but schools weren’t the target.

Jamie: Eric, trust me, civilian targets were bombed. Schools…

Eric: I know.

Jamie: People died under tables all the time because of it.

Eric: Well, Jamie…

Ben: But the thing is, throughout the entire series, you hear about people showing up at home with the Dark Mark hovering…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: …above their house. And if the Death Eaters were going to do anything before, imagine how many students they could’ve killed, and how many they let go free. They’re only going for the main ones. That’s why Hogwarts has to stay open. Because…

Laura: No, because…

Ben: …they’re only going for the main ones. They’re not going to make a mass killing of a bunch of people they don’t even know.

Laura: Oh, yes, they would. Oh, yes, they would.

Ben: That’s not how they operate. They’re going…

Eric: They will. They’ll get to the main ones. They’ll get to the main ones.

Jamie: If… Okay, the thing…

Laura: They’ll kill anyone they have to who’s in their way.

Ben: If that was the case – Laura, if that was the case, then they would have done it in The Half Blood Prince, but they didn’t.

Laura: No, because those students were safe in…

Ben: Ad that’s my point exactly.

Laura: …their common rooms, and they had a common goal of killing Dumbledore that night.

Eric: Yeah, and the thing is, if you’re going to kill…

Ben: Well, their common goal is going to kill Harry. It’s not going to be…

Laura: No, they were…

Ben: “…let’s go here and just mess up all these students.” That’s not how it’s going to work, because…

Laura: Yes, because it causes the kind of discord that they’re looking for…

Ben: …they hate – they only hate a certain people.

Laura: …that makes them stronger.

Ben: No, they only hate certain people. They hate mudbloods, they hate Muggles. They’re not going to target the average pure-blood wizard. Only if you’re not on their side.

Eric: But if the average pure-blood wizard gets killed, they aren’t going to feel that sorry about it. If they’re all in a giant room, it doesn’t matter.

Jamie: If you’re going to die – if you are 100 percent, okay, going to die, okay? Would you rather die in your house, alone, or with everyone else who is your age, everyone who you’ve spent the last three years with at school? I would want to die with everyone else. I would not want to die alone…

Eric: Yes, but what would your parents want?

Jamie: …thinking we’ve given in and we’ve died.

Eric: But what would your parents want?

Laura: You take a risk of having a mass killing of students at Hogwarts and then the school will be closed forever.

Jamie: There’s always a risk. There’s a risk of a mass killing of a community, of a mass killing of a village or a city. There’s always going to be that thing.

Laura: Yes, so wouldn’t you rather…

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up…

Laura: Wouldn’t you rather split up the risk?

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up the communities.

Jamie: No, I would rather be there. If Voldemort is going to take the school, he is going to take the school. I would want to be there with everyone else still standing up…

Ben: And, also, something else…

Jamie: …standing up in my citadel.

Ben: Something else. What is going to be better? What is going to be more effective: having all these students together where they can be trained and be able to defend against the dark arts and actually have a chance against the Death Eaters, or have them be separate in their own households, where there’s going to be destroyed, and…

Eric: Who says they’re going to be trained?

Laura: How well can they be educated at Hogwarts, though?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Because half of the teachers are in the Order.

Andrew: Okay, we need the – time’s up.

Eric: That’s the thing…

Laura: Okay. Time’s up.

Eric: Half the teachers are in…

Eric: Well…

Ben: We each get one minute.

Eric: … I think that’s a final point.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: I think that…

Andrew: Time’s up.

Eric: No…

Andrew: Closing arguments. Hold on – Eric.

Ben: No, your time’s up.

Andrew: Eric! [laughs]

Ben: You can’t say anything more.

Eric: But Laura wasn’t done with her sentence and you said time was up and we had no warning by a couple minutes.

Laura: Yeah, but time’s up. Time’s up, we can’t say anything else.

Ben: No, time’s up, time’s up. Time’s up means you shut up.

Andrew: We extended it by like… [laughs]

Jamie: We extended it by about nine light-years. Anyway, come on.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Closing arguments, Ben and Jamie.

Jamie: Ben.

Andrew: One minute.

Ben: Well…

Andrew: Go.

Ben: The first thing that I think is important to remember…

Jamie: Give me 30 seconds.

Ben: …is you have to weigh the fact that if these students do not go to Hogwarts, what’s going to happen is you’re going to create a whole generation of uneducated people, because we don’t know when this war is going to end, so the students have to go to get their education. Secondly, they are safer at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is going to be swarming with people from the Ministry. They’re going to be safer and they are stronger united than they are divided being in their own homes. Thirdly, it’s admitting defeat. It’s like saying, “Well, let’s just let the Death Eaters – let’s just let them win.” By going to their homes and being hermits – that’s ridiculous. So, Hogwarts should stay open. It has to stay open.

Jamie: It has got to stay open. As you said, there’s the only summing up thing – we are stronger united than we are divided.

Andrew: Twenty seconds.

Jamie: They have to stand together. They have to put a front up against Voldemort and challenge him. That’s it. And we have to educate our children and that’s as far as it goes.

Ben: Beautiful.

Andrew: Seven, six, done?

Ben: So… Yeah. Vote for Ben and Jamie.

Andrew: Laura and Eric, one minute, go!

Laura: All right. Students do not need the kind of formal education that Hogwarts provides to become educated enough to keep the economy going and to fight Voldemort. And frankly I think that kind of education is taking a back seat at this point because you don’t have to be together all in one place to be united. Students maintain strong bonds over summer vacations. Students can get together and do what they want outside of school. They do not need to be together in Hogwarts where they are going to be a single target. Not to mention the Ministry of Magic will have to put so many of their employees and so many of their forces at Hogwarts when they could be other places defending other people. Eric?

Eric: What kind of school are you going to have with all the good Order, all the people who know how to defend stuff are in the Order, are fighting the war. What kind of school would it be? I agree you’ll be together and you’ll be with your friends and stuff, but is that what your parents want for you? For you to be at the target. You know? Jamie said he wants to be there with his friends. Would his parents allow it? That kind of thing is…

Andrew: Five.

Eric: …happening.

Andrew: Well, that was a very good…

Laura: It got very heated.

Eric: No, it sucked. I can’t be on this side.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I can’t even remember I was concentrating on that so much.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Laura, I…

Ben: Wasn’t that good?

Laura: That was good.

Jamie: That was actually quite good, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I am sorry I yelled at you guys. I do love you.

Andrew: Awww. Hugs all around.

Laura: I just…

Eric: Laura, you did well.

Laura: Thank you.

Andrew: Now, okay, now how am I doing this, Ben? Because I have little things to say, to point out. I have to sort of present my own case, don’t I?

Ben: Well… No, you can…

Andrew: Of why I chose the winner?

Ben: Yeah, do that and then you give us – tell us why you chose.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: Tell us how we’re wrong.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I’m going to have to go… [laughs] I hate taking sides like this. I am going to have to go with Ben and Jamie because, because…

Jaime: Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: Because… [laughs]

Jamie: I was going to call you a ******* if you didn’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Both sides brought up good points, but I think when we’re talking about whether or not the school should stay open, they presented more points for the school staying open. First of all, Laura and Eric both brought – well, Laura brought up that the school is penetrable and they were thinking of closing it, which is a pretty good argument because who is to stay the school can’t be penetrated in Book Seven again. However, Jamie and Ben brought up good points such as homeschooling won’t work because they need teachers for spells and if they close the school now, when are they going to decide to open it again if the war does not even in Book Seven? Although we can probably assume that it will. Also, with the school being open, there will be a huge amount of Ministry protection because it is going to be their butts on the line if they do keep it open and God forbid an attack happened. And they also brought up the point that Dumbledore’s Army is not prepared. And can you… I do not think that a lot of people in that Army would be able to go out and fight Death Eaters. I mean I think that is kind of absurd because they are Hogwarts student.

Laura: I don’t agree. Five members of Dumbledore’s Army went to fight Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: But, it’s like… It’s like…

Eric: And they did a good job.

Ben: But Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, don’t argue with the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Pipe down. Pipe down, Laura.

Andrew: I’m talking about as a whole.

Jamie: You lose ten points for that, Laura.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That’s, that’s what I had.

Ben: Okay, well now is the chance for you, the listeners, to vote.

Andrew: At home. [laughs]

Ben: So, go to www…

Andrew: Text message “Magic”. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Magic. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Standard text messaging rates apply.

Ben: Go to www.mugglecast.com and regardless of what Andrew said – his opinion only counts for 25% of the vote. So, if you feel that Eric and Laura really did present the best arguments, please vote for them on MuggleCast.com. There will be a poll section where you will be able to see how to vote. And so, yeah. You count for 75% of the vote. So…

Andrew: And we’ll…

Jamie: Ben, I think it’s only fair to point out that we will be logging IP addresses and anyone who doesn’t vote for us will be banned from downloading the show in the future.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Just kidding. Just kidding.

Andrew: We encourage everyone to vote before Wednesday – before Wednesday night because that is when we record the show and we’ll announce the winner then. So, you’ll have three or four days to vote. So, go on MuggleCast.com and…

Ben: So, please – and remember, we’re asking for your fair and unbiased point of view. Please do not – if I’m your favorite MuggleCaster or Jamie is your favorite MuggleCaster, and you feel that we got, basically, blown out of the water, then please vote for them, because we don’t deserve it. Just because you like us, doesn’t mean you should vote for us. Vote for who you thought presented the best case, and who you thought won the real arguments. So…

Andrew: Very good.

Ben: Yep. I like this segment.

Andrew: Yeah, I like it.

Laura: I thought it was fun. [laughs] I want to do it again.

Jamie: That was awesome.

Eric: I still didn’t get to say my point.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: If you have a discussion, a debate topic for us, e-mail it to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. This, “Hogwarts: Shouldn’t It Stay Open?” that was a very good debate topic. Hopefully we can keep doing this weekly.

Ben: And please, please create your topics in the form of “should,” just so we don’t get into in an argument over whether it actually will happen. If it’s arguments for whether it should happen, it gives both sides a lot more ground because, for example, here, we know that Hogwarts, most likely, is going to stay open. But, if I was to say to Laura and Eric, “Oh, you know Hogwarts is going to stay open,” then it wouldn’t leave them much ground for them to argue their side because they may say, “Oh, I guess that’s a good point and why would Hogwarts close?” That type of thing. So, we’re saying Hogwarts “should.” Please put the word “should” in there somewhere.


Dumbledore Facts


Andrew: All right, next up, Dumbledore Facts with Jamie Lawrence. [laughs]

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I just have to find them now, sorry.

Andrew: Did you see that one I sent you? I sent you a few, but one of them was hilarious.

Laura: My throat is dry from all of this debating.

Jamie: Oh god. Okay, can I just say that everyone – the response to this segment has just been absolutely fantastic. I’ve got so many e-mails detailing some extremely good Dumbledore quotes and some not so good Dumbledore quotes. But, yeah, thank you very much. So, I’m just going to find this one now. Okay, we’ll start off with one who, I don’t know who it’s from, oh, from Brian, 14, in Massapequa Park, New York.

“When Dumbledore approaches a Hippogriff, the Hippogriff has to bow to Dumbledore.”

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, why am I the only one laughing? [laughs]

Jamie: Because no one else understands this awesome…

Laura: Because I don’t understand. I[m sorry.

Andrew: Okay, I’m going to have to send you a YouTube video and then maybe you’ll understand.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Okay.

“They built the London Underground so it would look like the scar above Dumbledore’s knee.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You know, that’s really good.

Jamie: Okay.

“Dumbledore makes the Dementors relive their worst memories.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: This is a weird one.

“If a Boggart met a Boggart, both would turn into Dumbledore and die of fear.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, this one is…

“When Dumbledore looks into Mirror of Erised, he just sees Dumbledore.”

Oh, these are from Mattaius, who’s 20 from Sweden. Thank you very much, these are some of the best. I’ve got seriously so many, I’ve got so many.

“Upon hearing that he was played by Michael Gambon, Dumbledore killed Gambon. Dumbledore gets played by no man.”

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: This is awesome. And this is sort of a non-Harry Potter one.

“If Dumbledore misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh my god.

Andrew: I like it.

Jamie: I could laugh at these for – these are brilliant.

Andrew: I’m going to find a good Chuck Norris on Conan video and…

Jamie: Yeah, go on.

Andrew: …post it in the show notes, because those of you who don’t understand it, if you watch this segment on Conan that he used to regularly do, you’ll understand it. [laughs] It’s very funny because Chuck Norris is this tough guy.

Jamie: There’s one specifically for me.

“The Hogwarts kitchen bin tore all its muscles in its lower back when Dumbledore tried to lift it.”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Okay, that’s enough Dumbledore quotes for next week because too much of a good thing… We’ll be back next week with more and more and more. Please keep emailing them to me. They’re very, very funny and I love receiving them.


Crackpot Theory of the Week


Andrew: Yep, now time for another relatively new segment. The Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Eric: Yay.

Laura: Yay.

Andrew: Title not stolen from the Lost podcast with Jane and Jack. All right, so…

Eric: Yeah, really.

Andrew: …if you remember last week – they’re a very good podcast. If you remember last week, we asked you to send in your crackpot theories to pose to Eric, which he will try to defend as if his life was depending on it.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: The key here…

Eric: Now, Is my life really depending on it?

Andrew: Yes, because we are going to send out…

Eric: Snipers lined up across the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric” Yeah.

Andrew: The key to these crackpot theories is that they have to be feasible. They can’t be outrageous.

Jamie: Yeah, they have to be feasible.

Eric: Well, there’s a difference between crackpot theories and stupid theories.

Jamie: But also, Eric has to just launch into defending it completely.

Eric: I know, right?

Jamie: He can’t think, he can’t look at his books, it is just straight away for… How long is it for?

Andrew: This is going to be good.

Jamie: One minute or two minutes? Or do you think…

Andrew: Well, what should we do?

Jamie: One minute, one minute we’ll go for. One minute, I will give you a statement and you’ll have to do it – defend it. Okay, for one minute, are you ready? Eric, this is your crackpot theory of the week: Moaning Myrtle is a spy for Voldemort.

Eric: Okay. First of all, she guards – she’s strategically poised at the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets. So, she’s a spy for Voldemort because she can keep track of anybody – any goings in and out. She could also hold – thanks to Harry she knows how to open the Chamber of Secrets. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if when Harry found Draco crying over the sink, I think they were actually about to enter the Chamber of Secrets and plan a meeting together. But that was – obviously, Harry interrupted, got all moody. Pretty soon people were Sectum Sempraing and it got pretty nasty, but that was actually, you were witnessing the meetings between Moaning Myrtle and Draco, and they were both discussing the Dark Lord when Harry walked in.

Jamie: Pretty good for the first attempt, I thought, Eric.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it was not bad. First on the show.

Andrew: This was submitted by Stephanie, 17, of Newark, Delaware.

Eric: Pretty good, yeah. Should we go on?

Andrew: Should we read what her points were?

Jamie: Yeah. Go on.

Andrew: “She always seems to appear when Harry is trying to figure out something that relates to the Dark Lord; for example, brewing the Polyjuice Potion and discovering the clue for the second task in the Triwizard Tournament. Each appearance she makes, she seems to aid Harry somehow i.e., pointing him in the direction of the Chamber of Secrets, which would lead him into the grasp of Voldemort. I would love to hear you guys defend this, even though I think this theory is not exactly plausible.”

Eric: Also, I would say she is head-over-heels for Voldemort, but it’s not really funny.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: She’s…


Jamie’s British Joke of the Week (sort of)


Andrew: Does anyone else have any other points going on? She might. She likes good looking young boys, I think.

Eric: Well, she was – she was into them so much she just…

Jamie: Yeah, no. Yeah.

Eric: She just dropped dead when she saw him.

Jamie: And Voldemort came around, and she looked a bit flushed.

[Everyone laughs]

[Andrew makes drum roll]

Ben: There’s Jamie’s British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: Yes! I don’t have to do one now! Yes!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Do you have any others?

Jamie: No, I don’t.

Andrew: Do you have – oh, I thought we were only going to do one a week.

Jamie: Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. One a week. One a week. No, no, no. One a – come on!


Andrew’s “Huh?! of the Week


Andrew: Okay. Now, it’s time for Andrew’s Huh?! of the Week.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

[Andrew clears throat]

Eric: You better…

Andrew: Got a frog in my throat.

Eric: One day, your voice is going to stick like that, Andrew.

Andrew: Huh?! Yeah, like that? Okay. laughs]

Eric: [in high-pitched voice] I’m Andrew Siiimmms! [laughs]

Andrew: Actually, it’s not an e-mail this week. It’s actually a web site. Every once in a while, I like checking out all the other Harry Potter fan sites out there, because, you know, I’m open. MuggleNet, Leaky – they’re great, but how about the little sites? They count, too, don’t they? [pauses] Nah, they really don’t. But, anyway…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Andrew!

Andrew: I like checking them out, and there’s one site called SpinnersEnd.com, and I thought this was pretty funny. They have a part of their site called, “The Truth About Fan Sites,” and they have little questions, you know, to answer people’s questions, like, “What does it really mean when a site goes on hiatus?” and stuff like that. They recently updated it. They have questions like, “Why do many sites constantly change the layouts?” and, “What’s going to happen to all the HP fan sites once all the books and films are done?” No! [Andrew pretends to bursts into tears] But, there’s another question here that I really like, and this is just funny. The question is: “Why does almost every HP fan site have a podcast now?” And their answer? [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Simple. Because MuggleNet has one.”

[Everyone laughs and sighs “Awww”]

Andrew: And there you go! That is our Huh?! of the Week!

Laura: That warmed my heart. [laughs]


Other Harry Potter Podcasts


Andrew: But I thought maybe we could spend a couple of minutes talking about all these other Harry Potter podcasts out there. I don’t know what, exactly, but what do you guys think of all of them?

Jamie: Carpe diem.

Ben: They’re good.

Laura: How many has everyone listened to?

Andrew: Well, they haven’t listen to any of them, because [in a jokingly gruff voice] we’re so busy.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But it’s just amazing how many podcasts there are [laughs] now relating to Harry Potter.

Laura: Well, I think it’s good because, as far as I know, I believe MuggleCast was the first Harry Potter podcast on iTunes.

Andrew: [imitating Woody Woodpecker] That is right, Laura! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: And I think that a lot of people were inspired by that.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: And I think it’s a good thing. I feel very flattered.

Jamie: It’s just like…

Laura: I like it whenever people – actually, I know that some people over at MuggleNet Fan Fiction have started some little, small podcasts, which is pretty cool.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful!

Laura: I think it’s cute.

Andrew: Wonderful.

Andrew: Well, the sincerest form of flattery is imitation, yes? No?

Laura: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

Andrew: That’s what I meant! [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: If that – if that’s…

Laura: Good job, Andrew!

Andrew: But, I do have one little problem with all these Harry Potter podcasts. [jokingly sounds exasperated] Well, of course, there’s PotterCast

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But there’s also RowlingCast, SpellCast, SnapeCast…

Eric: Oh, my gosh!

Andrew: SlashCast…

Eric: The names, people!

Andrew: DumbleCast…

Jamie: DumbleCast?

Eric: Come on!

Andrew: EnchantedCast, FlooCast…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …WizardCast, and I’m not making these up.

Eric: And don’t go on your Cast and say…

Andrew: Can people please…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: VeelaCast, [laughs] PhoenixCast, HPCast – that’s original. You don’t have to put “Cast”…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …at the end of a noun for your podcast title.

Jamie: What? You mean like…

Andrew: Do what…

Jamie: HogwartsCast?

Andrew: Yeah. SlashCast, RowlingCast, SnapeCast, Harry Potter Podcast [laughs], whichever Cast you’re on.

Eric: And – and don’t go…

Jamie: They are Harry Potter podcasts, though.

Laura: They are Casts! That’s what they are. Why can’t they call them that?

Eric: But the fact is every, you know, the thing is, don’t go on your own Cast and say, “Oh, they mentioned us,” because at the same time, we’re just saying it’s kind of interesting. There are really good – there are a few Harry Potter podcasts that are actually – like Alohamora, or something along those lines – it’s not “Cast.” And there’s nothing wrong with “Cast.” As Laura said, you are Casts, and I’m sure, you know – I’m sure you all have great shows, but the difference is that everybody has sort of capitalized on this whole “Cast” thing.

Andrew: Right. That’s my point.

Eric: And it’s just like, well…

Andrew: So, what the Huh?!

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: How about there’s good ones, like Overflowing [mispronounces]Pen-ee-sives and Hogwarts Confidential.

Jamie: Oh, that’s good.

Andrew: Dumbledore Studies – clever names like that.

Laura: Did you say, “Pen-ee-sives”? [laughs]

Andrew: Pensieves.

Jamie: Pen-ee-sives! [laughs]

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: I said, “Pensieves!”

Eric: Dumbledore’s Pickle.

Laura: [still laughing] No, you said, “Pen-ee-sives.”

Jamie: I think you may have said, “Pen-ee-sives,” Andrew.

Andrew: No, I didn’t!

Jamie: No, I think you may done it.

Laura: Yeah, you did! [laughs]

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Then there’s – so anyway… There’s ones like mudblood on the Air, Harmony Podcast.

Ben: That’s very, very nice.

Andrew: Fangirling [laughs] So anyway – oh and FilkCast – how could I forget? So, that’s all. I just wanted to bring that up. I thought that was funny. One again, Spinner’s End, “Simple, because MuggleNet has one.”


Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul


Andrew: Now, moving along, we have Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul to wrap things up. This comes from Christian, 18 of Hamilton, New Jersey. He writes…

Jamie: Oh wow, Ben.

Andrew: Or she.

Jamie: One more from New Jersey.

Andrew: Yeah, I know, another from New Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. “My name is Christian…”

Ben: Coincidence.

Andrew: Listen, the smartest people clearly are from New Jersey. I don’t even look where they’re from before, I just look at the content.

Jamie: Of course you don’t. Of course you don’t.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m sorry, okay?

My name is Christian, I am 18 and I live in Hamilton, New Jersey.

Jersey represent Andrew. Jersey represent. Anyway…

I just graduated and started my first year of college down in Virginia. It’s about a 6 hour drive if there is no traffic. I went to a smaller high school in New Jersey where I was captain of the baseball team and soccer team. I was friends with just about everyone in my grade. I went from knowing everyone in a comfortable environment, to being thrown into a place six hours away from home and knowing no one. The first week was real tough and I listened to MuggleCast every day when I got lonely or whatever. I just wanted to thank you guys for being there even though you didn’t know you were. Keep on, keep on truckin’.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: So, that’s very nice. That’s always very inspiring, when we get e-mails like that; saying that you were there for us, or me, but you didn’t know it…

Eric: [sings] I’ll be there for you.

Andrew: No! Why’d you have to pick that song?

Jamie: I was going to take, “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you.”

Andrew: What’s that from?

Eric: That’s Savage Garden.

Jamie: It’s not! It’s My Heart Will Go On!

Laura: [laughs] That’s Celine Dion.

Eric: Oh!

Andrew: [laughs] Savage Garden.

Jamie: [sings] Truly madly deeply do…

Andrew: Anyway…

Eric: I totally screwed that up.

Jamie: [sings] I don’t know the words so I’m just going to sing…

Andrew: Anyone got anything else? Anything?

Laura: Nope.

Andrew: Anything on your mind that’s really bugging you?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Gimme a Butterbeer, maybe?

[Ben Laughs]

Laura: Yeah, Ben. Where are the Butterbeers?

Andrew: Everyone wants to know.

Ben: Actually, thanks to Kyle for sending me a butterbeer. He actually sent me a Butterbeer.

Andrew: The one I forwarded you? Oh. [laughs]

Ben: An actual butterbeer. No, a real butterbeer.

Jamie: Yes. He e-mailed it and he pulled it out of his computer screen.

Andrew: Ben, I forwarded one to you.

Ben: No, I’ve actually already done that one before. It’s been so long that you don’t remember.


Show Close


Andrew: Hmmm, okay. Well, anyway, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 54. Contact information. PO Box, Benjamin?

Ben:

MuggleCast
PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67107

Andrew: You can also call us. In the United States 1-218-20-MAGIC. That’s 1-218-62442. If you’re in the United Kingdom, you can dial 020-8144-0677. If in Australia, you can dial 02-8003-5668. We haven’t been getting many calls from the United Kingdom and Australia, because we can see what number they’re coming from, so feel free to use that number. We know there’s a lot of you out there. You can also…

Jamie: Or you can Two-way Mirror us.

Andrew: Yeah [laughs]

Jaime: Two-way Mirror us.

Eric: Yeah, Two-way Mirror us.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I just hope we’ve got out mirrors on us at the time or you’re…

Andrew: [laughs] Channel Four. You can also Skype in a voicemail question or comment to our MuggleCast username. Just remember to try to keep your message under thirty seconds, blah blah blah blah blah. You can also e-mail us, mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or just go on MuggleCast.com for all that contact information, and a handy feedback forum. Also, I wanted to plug our Frappr Map because we haven’t in a while. We’re also working on a MySpace, and we do have a Facebook group that you can sign up for – er, you can join. There’s a good, what, 300 people on there right now?

Laura: MySpace? [sighs]

Andrew: Join the Frappr map and add you’re photos because…

Laura: MySpace…

Andrew: Because I was looking at everyone’s photos today. You’re an attractive bunch; every one of you. [laughs] And ummm…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But don’t add avatars.

Eric: Andrew, nice looking.

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That’s really lame and that just shows that you’re incompetent and don’t like how you look, and like I said, you’re all an attractive bunch. We’ve also got a new website in the works. That will be up soon. Take our listener survey and rate us on Yahoo podcast sites and all that good stuff. Once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: And don’t forget to vote on Podcast Alley. I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: And don’t forget to submit – to send in your…

Eric: I am…

Jamie: V is for Vendetta filks turned to MuggleCast to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com

Eric: Yes, you don’t want us to say verily this visage…

Jamie: No, you definitely don’t want to say that. Precisely. That is exactly what you don’t want to say. Okay. I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: Right.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: [laughs] We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 55.

Eric: Bye!


Bloopers


Eric: Uh, are you okay saying yours after mine?

Laura: Yeah, it’s fine. Just whenever Andrew…

Jamie: Oh, the disorganization.

Andrew: Is this a tea party? Come on.

Laura: Okay, no! You know what!?

[Jamie laughs loudly]

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Roni, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly

Transcript #53

MuggleCast 53 Transcript


Show Intro


Rupert [Show Intro with music in background]: Hi everyone, this is Rupert Grint. This is MuggleCast, the number one podcast for everything Harry Potter. Take it away, Andrew!

Andrew: Thank you, Rupert! Episode 53, for August 27th, 2006.

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Hello everyone, welcome back to the show! I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Jamie: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: [at the same time as Laura] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I’m Jamie.

Andrew: Nice. Nice, guys. And Ben Schoen is not with us because he’s late, as usual, and this week we just started – we decided to start without him.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: Notice in…

Andrew: And…

Eric: …in the face of confrontation, Jamie’s last name just disappears…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: He’s just like, “Sorry! I’m Jamie,” then he leaves.

Jamie: Yeah. No, no. It isn’t really confrontation. It’s more of trying to build up a sort of personal relationship with everyone, you know how it is.

Andrew: Oh, right.

Jamie: I want – I think – I mean, I may even just shorten it to Jam next time, you know?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Jam-Jam.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Now I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling kind of important tonight because I got a photographer right in front of me for the Philadelphia Enquirer, taking a – taking pictures for – what is it for again?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: The “Coolest People Ever Cover Article”? Something like that.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Speaking of awesome people, Micah Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


News


Micah: Wow, Andrew, you sound a little different this week.

Some disappointing news for those of you who are looking forward to a good grudge match in the Order of the Phoenix film next summer – we’ve been informed that there is no storyline in the movie surrounding Ron’s Quidditch hardships, nor has there been any filming on broomsticks done by Rupert. We’re led to believe that this means there will be no Quidditch in the fifth film at all.

Mid-Day has an excellent new interview with Order of the Phoenix director David Yates, Potter actor Dan Radcliffe, and Cho Chang actress Katie Leung. In it, we learn Yates’ approach to directing the film, the kissing scene between Dan and Katie, and much more.

Yahoo! News reported earlier this week that Jessica Stevenson has been cast for the role of Mafalda Hopkirk, who works in the Improper Use of Magic Office at the Ministry of Magic.

And we have also received three more European release dates for Order of the Phoenix.

The film hits Belgium on July 11th, Denmark on July 13th, and Poland on July 20th.

Staying with movies, Goblet of Fire was awarded the “Choice Movie: Drama” award earlier this week at FOX’s Teen Choice Awards, voted on by teenagers across the United States.

As we reported back in March, the Goblet of Fire DVD set a world record for the largest selling DVD on its first day in the United States, which was roughly 5 million copies. There is a scan from the Guinness Book of World Records, which also includes a picture of Dan holding the certificate on the set of Order of the Phoenix.

And a few days ago, the nominations were announced for this year’s batch of World Soundtrack Awards. A song on the Goblet of Fire soundtrack called “Magic Works,” was nominated for “Best Original Song Written for Film.”

These winners will be announced on October 14th at the Flanders International Film Festival in Ghent, Belgium.

The Daily Record has published a new interview with actor Rupert Grint, who reveals that he recently failed his driver’s test. He also wants to continue playing Ron in the Potter series through the seventh film. And Yahoo! Movies recently posted the trailer for Rupert Grint’s latest movie, ‘Driving Lessons.’ The film will hit limited theaters on October 13th.

Tom Felton gave a small interview to the Junior Carp Tournament’s website. Tom talks about filming progress on Order of the Phoenix. He says that it is three-fourths of the way completed, and predicts that fifty percent of what he shoots will make the final cut.

Finally, as I did on the very first news one year ago, happy birthday to Ben Schoen, who turned 17 this past week.

That’s all the news for this August 27, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah.


Nicknames For Micah


Andrew: Some more names for Micah here – I think we did this one already.

Jamie: We’ve had this one…

Andrew: Micah-phone.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: “The Micah-chip”, “Micahtack”, “What I Micah About You” – that’s a new one!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Mic-atomic bomb.

Eric: [laughs] Mic-atomic bomb.

Andrew: Just don’t stop.


Micah, Eric and Jamie Turn One-Year Old


Laura: Now Andrew, did you forget about the news this week? How it’s a year old now?

Andrew: Oh, how could I forget! [laughs] Thank you for reminding me!

Eric: So am I!

Andrew: I’ll bet Micah told you because he knew that I was going to – I was going to forget.

Laura: Yup.

Andrew: Am I right?

Laura: Yup. You are right.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: What? I don’t get it.

Andrew: Micah Tannenbaum’s News is one year old, today.

Eric: Now wait, Jamie…

Jamie: Is that right? I see!

Eric: Jamie!

Jamie: Yeah?

Eric: Doesn’t this – this means you and I also turn one year old today.

Jamie: No, Eric, it means [singing 99 Red Balloons] You and I, in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we’ve got.

Eric: Shut up.

Andrew: It does, doesn’t it?

Eric: Because it was Episode 3? 4?

Jamie: I think it could be. It’s around that, yeah.

Eric: It was Episode 3!

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh yes, it was! You’re right! It was around three or four. Three or four, it was something like that.

Andrew: Yeah. And now we are – here we are a year later, and Micah’s still got – still kicking the news. So, thanks to him for his excellent weekly reporting.

Jamie: Dedication.


Announcements


Andrew: Now let’s move on to – yeah. Let’s move on to a few announcements now. MuggleCast t-shirts: pick up your copy today, because they are running out quickly.

Jamie: Completely limited edition?

Andrew: Yeah, they really are limited edition now, and we’re going to be selling some new designs very soon. Also, don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley. And California – we have lots of California updates. Unfortunately, Ben’s not here to read off the California song winners…

Jamie: ‘Cause he’s lazy.

Andrew: [laughs] I don’t know where he is, actually. But, California – I haven’t even told you guys yet. That’s how bad of a host I am. We are aiming for September 28 at the Borders in Westwood – the Westwood area of California.

Laura: Great!

Andrew: They’re very excited to have us, so mark your calendars now…

Jamie: Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Andrew: And we’ll have some updates on LeakyMug.com. Go there for RSVP and more information and all that. There’s Ben – now, hold on a second. The reporter’s here now, the reporter’s here now.

Laura: Okay, everybody.

Andrew: Welcome Toni. Say hi, Toni.

Toni: Hi, everybody.

Jamie: Hey, Toni.

Eric: Hi.

Laura: Hi!

Andrew: Ben just called me and said that he completely forgot. Which explains how he dedicated he is to the show.

Laura: Which is typical! [laughs]

Eric: We’ve only been doing the show for what, you know, over a year?

Jamie: A year-and-a-half.

Andrew: Right. Yeah. So, we’ll get lyrics next week for everyone.


Listener Rebuttal – Cedric’s Death


Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week though, our first one comes from Julia, 16 of New York. She writes in response to minor versus major character death discussions on Episode 52. She says:

“While Cedric is not a major character, his death impacted Harry at that time nearly as much as killing off a major character like Sirius or Dumbledore does in the later books. Cedric’s death is the first death Harry experiences firsthand, and gives him the first taste of what fighting this war is really going to be like. He is put on guard, his friends and classmates are in very real danger. By having the first experienced death in the series be of a minor character, J.K. Rowling allowed us – Harry – allowed Harry to be more prepared. If Sirius had been the first witnessed murder, then it might have been a bit too much of a shock for us as well as Harry. Harry would have had to deal with the shocking grief that comes with watching someone die for the first time, along with the sadness that comes with losing someone he loves.

This is a long one.

Perhaps Cedric’s death desen – desensa…”

Laura, help me out here.

Jamie: Desensitized.

Andrew: “…Desens – desense – desensitized Harry enough that…”

Laura: Good job, Andrew. [laughs]

Andrew: “…after Sirius died he was able to get through his misery and depression enough that he could continue with his life…”

[Jamie laughs]

“…by starting off with a minor character death.”

[Jamie laughs]

“Rowling made sure things happened in the appropriate order. Cedric’s death missed the odds, Sirius’ murder caused a few tears to fall, and Dumbledore passing on caused more flat out sobbing.”

Good point brought on by Julia.

Jamie: And Ron kicking the bucket in Book Seven is going to cause some suicides among us all.

Andrew: Yes.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Laura: Yeah, but wouldn’t you agree that part of the reason Cedric’s death struck Harry so strongly was because of their close age? I mean, they were so close in age and the fact that Harry saw that no one was spared…

Eric: Agreed.

Laura: And even teenagers were being killed, and one person was supposed to die in the graveyard that night. And it wasn’t supposed to be Cedric, it was supposed to be Harry.

Andrew: And he saw the death. That was the first death that he saw. So…

Eric: Yeah. This can be you. You know. This will be you, almost.

Jamie: That’s true, but I think it reinforces the points that we were making that it’s a minor character, but it’s not a minor death. You know, it tells Harry a lot, this thing. So, you know, when Jo said that she wasn’t killing off minor characters, I don’t think she was particularly saying that every single character she kills is important, but every single death that she creates is important to Harry, and obviously as this person says, takes him on a journey, where it gets worse, and worse, and worse and shows that he’s in the middle of a war.

Laura: Agreed.

Eric: Right.

Andrew: And this was the first death that he had seen, you know.

Eric: Well, question: Do you think without Cedric’s death – I mean, in Book Five – I’m re-reading Book Five, and it seemed like you know, that the vast majority of the wizarding population doesn’t believe Dumbledore and Harry even though Cedric’s died. They just knew that Harry appeared from somewhere with Cedric dead. Do you think without Cedric dying they would have had no case and even less people would have believed Dumbledore and Harry?

Jamie: [thinking] Ummm…

Eric: Or would they have been able to prove successfully that Voldemort returned without the question mark of how Cedric died?

Jamie: Don’t you think that kind of makes it worse because you know, Cedric’s death – There wasn’t a mark on his body, obviously. They couldn’t prove anything. Harry just came back with this thing, and it could’ve looked like to the whole Voldemort coming back thing was just a cover-up.

Laura: That makes it worse for Harry.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. But, I don’t know. It would be interesting to see. Perhaps we can do a “What If?” What happens if Cedric said, “No it’s okay, you have the cup. I’m going to go and take a break.”

Eric: Right. [laughs]

Laura: I don’t think as many students would have been on Harry’s side. I don’t think as many people would’ve come to the DA and that kind of thing.

Jamie: Yeah, probably not.

Eric: I don’t know. Cedric might not have – I don’t even think Cedric would have believed Harry. Or he may have, because he turns.

Laura: Well, yeah. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Well, I was talking about people…

Jamie: No, Eric. Eric, to be fair, he is dead. He won’t be believing much, you know.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: It’s just a minor point, obviously.

Eric: No, his final point… No, his final remarks, “Take my body back to the fangirls.”

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: You know, they were pretty sweet.

Laura: [laughs] Fan girls.

Andrew: Jamie, you want to take the next rebuttal?


Listener Rebuttal – Defense Against The Dark Arts


Jamie: Yeah, sure. This is from Kaitlin, 16, from Aberdeen in SD. Where’s…?

Andrew: What is that?

Jamie: What’s SD?

Andrew: Come on, American pop quiz.

Jamie: What is…

Laura: [whispers] South Dakota.

Andrew: South Dakota.

Jamie: Oh okay, South Dakota.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I was like…

Jamie: You know, every single British place there’s a place called it in America, everywhere. Ridiculous.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Anyway, the subject is DADA, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

“Because of the curse Voldemort put on the DADA position none of the DADA…

Ah, god, I can’t say it now.

…teachers have been able to stay for more than one year. I find it interesting that the DA only lasted a year as well. As a secret defense class, Harry acted as a DADA teacher. [laughs] Do you think that because Harry as a DADA teacher [laughs] the curse was a reason that he didn’t continue with the DA?”

Whew, god!

Andrew: Isn’t that kind of interesting?

Jamie: I have to take a break after that.

[Andrew, Laura, and Eric laugh]

Andrew: It wasn’t much. Don’t you think that’s kind of interesting? That’s why I put it in here.

Laura: Yeah. I thought that was interesting.

Jamie: Yeah. It is, but I don’t think you can call the DADA and the DA synonymous.

Andrew: Well, yeah.

Jamie: Okay. Let’s make a competition for the person who can send in the longest sentence composed of only DADA.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That was like three sentences Jamie. [counting sentences] One, two, three, four.

Eric: DADA, PDA…

Jamie: No, I mean only DADA. DADA, DA, DADA, DA, DADA..

Andrew: Oh, okay. Is that another t-shirt giveaway?

Jamie: No, because I think Sam will get ****** off if I ask him to send one.

[Jamie, Andrew and Eric]


Listener Rebuttal – Mad-Eye Moody


Andrew: Good point, good point. [laughs] Next listener rebuttal comes from Taya, 16, from St. Louis.

“In the last show, you guys discussed the possibility of Mad Eye Moody becoming the next Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Although that would be really cool because he’s such an interesting character, he’s too busy with his business for the Order to spend his time teaching. No doubt he’s got a lot of places to go and things to do for the Order, but he wouldn’t be able to do his job at Hogwarts because he’d be focused on teaching. So I think it might be someone from the Order, but maybe someone more insubstantial. I love your show!”

Laura: I agree with that. I really do. I think that the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Book Seven is going to be someone that we know, but it will be someone insubstantial because Harry’s not going to be at Hogwarts. So, we’re not really going to need to learn all that much from that person.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: And again, it can’t be someone too important – too good at Auroring if it is an Auror that does the teaching, because they’re supposed to be, you know, helping the cause. They can’t be hold up at Hogwarts, you know, teaching.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, they can’t go and, you know, stop fighting the war but then say, “Oh well, I’ve got to be back to marks some books.” You know, it’s a full-time job. It’s a full-time job.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Actually, that’s like – I was watching this political satire program in the UK and they were talking about the “Territorial SAS”, which is our special forces. And it’s like, you’re either in the SAS or you aren’t in the SAS. So, this “Territorial SAS”, this person was saying that they’re behind enemy lines, they’re fighting, but they’ve got to get back on Tuesday to do their job.

[Silence]

Jamie: I thought that was hilarious.

Andrew: [chuckles softly] Yeah, that’s why it’s British satire.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: No, exactly! I was just about to say, you know, I tell these things about British humor and it’s just met with a “Oh, heh. Oh, that’s good, that is.”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Well, I still find it interesting. It’s still kind of like cultural something. Anyway…

Jamie: What Eric, interesting in a kind of not funny at all way?

Eric: Not really. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, cool.

Andrew: I sent you an article Jamie, earlier today from a girl who e-mailed. It was an article in the BBC, and the article said that British humor is 15% funny or something like that because of the accent.

Jamie: Oh yeah. So, I think that kind of backs up the theory that the jokes that I tell every single week are awful.

Eric: Well, Jamie?

Jamie: Yes?

Eric: Does the SAS – do they have guns?

Jamie: Yes, it’s like your Delta Force.

Eric: What’s our Delta Force? You know more about this than I do.

Jamie: Oh, right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Delta Force is one of your special forces divisions of the American army.

Eric: Oh, right. Okay.

Laura: [laughs] I find it really sad that Jamie has to educate…

Eric: I swear Brits know more… British people know more about us than…

Jamie: Eric?

Eric: What?

Jamie: Anything else you want to know about your country? Where do you live again? I’ll tell you if you’ve forgotten, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Eric, that’s embarrassing.

Eric: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal – Bill Weasley


Andrew: Next rebuttal, this is going down quick. Next rebuttal: Joanna, 18, of Kala – Kala – Kalamazoo, Michigan. Is that a real town?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: I guess so.

Andrew: Is it? Philadelphia Inquirer photographer says yes. [speaking to photographer] Have you really? What’s it like?

Philadelphia Inquirer Photographer: It’s a small town.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Kalamazoo? It sounds like a Google spin-off.

Andrew: It’s a small town. You heard it here first. She writes – Joanna writes:

“What do you guys think about the possibility of Bill Weasley becoming the new DADA professor? I mean, he’s the one at Gringotts, right?” [laughs]

Okay, let me stop this for a second.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: When you’re writing these rebuttals, we’re not – we’re too lazy to go through and edit them, or read them like we’re going to read them on air, so edit them for us and then send them in. [Laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I know exactly why [inaudible]

Jamie: What’s wrong with this?

Laura: Come on, Andrew.

Andrew: Because then we look…

Jamie: Andrew…

Laura: You can’t just read over the errors?

Jamie: What do you expect? Haikus and…

Andrew: She writes…

Jamie: Iambic pentameter? [laughs]

Andrew: That’s exactly what I expect. She writes:

“I mean, he’s the one at Gringotts, right? So maybe he wouldn’t have any experience teaching but hey, he’s a nice guy. He is, as Harry says, ‘cool.’ He has experience fighting Death Eaters, he’s got battle wounds…what else do you need? He could gain experience as he goes and I’m sure he knows enough that he could teach these kids. Also, that would allow a member of the Order to be at Hogwarts without compromising a major player. I’m interested to hear what you think!”

Eric: Kudos for…

Andrew: That’s a good final point.

Eric: Yeah, completely browsing over what we were just saying about how they couldn’t be a major player, but if they were in the Order, it would still be nice. The only problem is, the battle wounds…

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …reason…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: I… His battle wounds kind of make him part werewolf and people don’t like werewolves teaching their kids. Sorry. Even if it will never mature or whatever, he’s still got…

Jamie: Still looks like a bit of a werewolf.

Laura: Yeah, but wouldn’t any of the parents who would have that kind of opinion take their kids out of Hogwarts anyway at this point?

Eric: That’s true, that’s true. You could say, well, screw them.

Jamie: Or homeschool them.

Laura: Yes!

Eric: [laughs] Yes! And for more abuse about homeschooling…

Laura: I love how you guys all mock me for being homeschooled.

Jamie: No, we don’t, we don’t.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: No, we talked – we did a whole few episodes about that actually…

Jamie: We mock the idea of being homeschooled – home-taught magic. To be fair.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Why?

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, okay then, Laura. How many people do you know who, on a Wednesday morning, stay home, eat breakfast, and then get their wands out and cast some spells? And have their mom teach them how to do it?

Laura: I’d say about 50.

Jamie: 50?

Laura: 50, Jamie.

Jamie: Well, I don’t think 50 is very representative, but…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Of the world’s population.

Eric: Because the wizarding world is so huge.

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

[Laura laughs]


Listener Rebuttal – Ben And Harry Parallel


Andrew: Okay, let’s move on. Erin, 31 of Pennsylvania; she writes about Ben in Nebraska. She draws an interesting parallel and this really freaked me out.

“In Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry is sitting in a Muggle street, in the middle of the night, wondering what the police will say when they find a boy with a trunk of magical items. Ben is sitting in a Muggle street, in the middle of the night, wondering what the police will say when they find a “boy” with his laptop stealing WI-FI. Wow, the parallels!”

Jamie: That’s pretty awesome.

Andrew: Good point, Erin. Good point, good point.


Listener Rebuttal – Book Spines


Andrew: This next one – these are some weird emails this week – Michelle, age ten…

Eric: Million.

Andrew: Ten million…

Jamie: One hundred thousand.

Andrew: …one hundred thousand. And she writes:

“You guys played a voice ‘thing,’ that said the books…”

They are called voicemails.

“…that said that books have ‘Year One,’ ‘Year Two,’ and so on. It’s on the spine of both the paperbacks and hardcover editions.”

Not all of them. I think when they first started printing these, they didn’t have “Year One” and “Year Two.”

Laura: Really?

Andrew: Like – yeah.

Jamie: Do they really?

Andrew: My copies don’t. So, that leads me to believe they did that just because they wanted to put something new on the spine of the reprints.

Eric: Hmmm.

Laura: Hmmm. Interesting.

Eric: The UK editions don’t have them on the spine.

Andrew: I don’t…Laura, are they on yours, Laura?

Laura: Ummm…

Andrew: They’re not on mine.

Laura: I don’t know. I have a newer version of Sorcerer’s Stone because my old one died, [laughs] but, yeah…

Jamie: It died?

Laura: My newer one has “Year One” on it. [Laughs] Yeah. I killed it. I’m sorry.

Jamie: Awww.

Eric: It was a Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah.


Listener Rebuttal – The Price of Gas


Andrew: And, last rebuttal comes from Doug of Brisbane, Australia. He writes about fuel prices because we talked about this last week.

Laura: Oh, geez.

Andrew: And this kills me.

“Hey, just listening to the show. I heard the outrageous prices of fuel in the US and UK. We have it too easy down here with $1.20 AU per liter, which is approximately 90 cents in the United States.”

Laura: Oh!

Andrew: Terrible.

Jamie: Wow.

Laura: That makes me want to cry.

Andrew: I know. [laughs]

Jamie: I’d buy that just for the sake of buying it – Petrol. I mean, just…

Laura: What was that, Andrew?

Jamie: …store it somewhere.

Andrew: Ship it back here. Do you drive, Laura?

Laura: Yeah!

Andrew: Oh, you do? I didn’t know that.

Laura: I’m almost 18-years old. I do drive.

Eric: Laura drives?

Andrew: This…

Laura: Yes!

Eric: What color car do you have? Is it pink? [laughs]

Laura: I don’t have my own car. I use my dad’s.

Eric: Does it have zebra skin? Oh. Okay, never mind.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: When you get a car, will it have zebra skin?

Laura: No.

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: You’ll have to explain this joke, Eric. I must admit, I think I’m a bit behind. [laughs]

Eric: It’s not a joke, I just picture Laura as having – okay, sorry. Andrew’s conversing with a reporter so we can just continue to ask Laura strange questions…

Andrew: I was conversing with a reporter.

Eric: From apparently no origin. Huh?

Andrew: [laughs] I was conversing with the reporter.

Eric: Sweet.

Andrew: Say ‘hi’ to the listeners.

Toni: Hi listeners!

Jamie: Yeah!

Andrew: This is Toni from the Philadelphia Inquirer and – when is this article going to be in the…

Reporter: Sunday, likely.

Andrew: Oh, Sunday? Okay.

Eric: Hi Toni! I’m down here in Reading, check me out.

Laura: Cool.

Andrew: Eric says “Hi from Reading.”

Laura: I’m from Cumming.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: When I told her you were from Cumming over the phone, she was like, “What’s that again?”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I spelled it. It was awkward.

Jamie: I’m Cumming.

Andrew: So, yeah.

Toni: [inaudible]


Main Discussion – Aberforth Dumbledore


Andrew: Yeah. Our main discussion this week is Aberforth Dumbledore. And Eric, you put this little one together, so…

Jamie: Little one? [laughs]

Andrew: …you’re in charge. No not little, sorry

Eric: I don’t put any little ones together.

Andrew: [laughs] All right, go for it Eric.

Eric: Okay, I have a little bit of an introduction, but then we are going to follow an actual structured thing which is in the Writely. So everybody, check this out. Okay, all MuggleCasters, on deck here for this one. Okay. Listen. Okay, in Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 16, pg. 335, US edition, Hermione leads Harry and Ron through Hogsmeade on their first free weekend, to the place where an unknown amount of students are going to come to hear Harry’s plans for the soon-to-be DA. Basically they’re all coming to hear a story. You guys remember this?

[Everyone agrees]

Eric: Hermione sets the whole thing up, and he just kind of follows it after a while. Anyway, so he asks Hermione, “Where are we going, anyway?” And Hermione says, “The Three–” well, Harry suggests the Three Broomsticks. She says, “‘Oh – no,’ said Hermione, coming out of her reverie, ‘no, it’s always packed and really noisy. I’ve told the others to meet us in the Hog’s Head, that other pub, you know the one, it’s not on the main road. I think it’s a bit …you know…dodgy.'”

The Hog’s head is described as being not at all like the Three Broomsticks. Its small, dirty, one room, and it smells like goats. [laughs] This is the place where Hagrid once won Norbert the dragon, as an egg, and everyone in it typically keeps their heads covered, and their minds to their own business. Now, what’s important about the Hog’s Head – apart from its location, which we’ll talk about in a few minutes – is the bartender. After many hints and references to goats and all that, JK Rowling finally told us that the bartender is actually Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus’ brother. This connection, I suppose, is where the mystery and discussion really begins.

Aberforth was first mentioned in Book Four by Dumbledore; Rita Skeeter’s article on Hagrid comes out, and in order to cheer him up Dumbledore tells of how his brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing illegal charms on a goat. It was apparently something really big in the papers – [laughter] I know, goats, right? But Aberforth continued to, quote, “go about his business as usual,” though Dumbledore then expresses concern that Aberforth may not know how to read.

Now, this is what I want to bring up first about Aberforth; his first conversation and appearance to Habby – er, Harry. [laughs] In Chapter 16 of Order of the Phoenix, “In The Hog’s Head,” he’s described as, “a grumpy looking old man, with a great deal of long hair and a beard. He’s tall, thin, and looks vaguely familiar to Harry.” Harry walks up to him to order a Butterbeer, and all he gets from him is a grunt, [imitates Aberforth] “What?” [laughs] The only other choice words Aberforth has for Harry is, [imitates Aberforth again] “six sickles,” which he takes from Harry almost blatantly, and the he goes to help someone else. In fact, Ron finds Aberforth so shady that he discusses trying to get a Firewhisky off of him, even though he is underage; Hermione scowls.

So, first question is, what exactly do you guys think is up with Aberforth? [laughs] I mean, illegal charms on a goat, grunts for an answer, and he polishes – cleans his cups with a dirty rag that looks like it’s never been washed before, and he actually makes the drinking glasses dirtier. “‘The Hog’s Head is a-bring-your-own-glass establishment,’ advises Professor Flitwick to Hermione,” and it seems like the barman is completely nuts.


The Role of Aberforth


So do you think that Aberforth is pretending to be stupid, or is he really just this creepy, distant, kind of in-the-background guy?

Jamie: I think…

Andrew: I think he’s the creepy…

Jamie: In the distant…

[Everyone begins to agree]

Jamie: I agree.

Laura: Whenever I heard about illegal charms on goats, uh, that pretty much confirmed…

Jamie: Yeah…

Laura: What I feel about him, is that he’s kind of creepy and out there, and – goats. I just…

Eric: And goats.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Laura: That’s all I have to say.

Eric: Well, still – it kind of fits, though. In an interesting way, do you think that Dumbledore and Aberforth Dumbledore would be brothers? Because they’re both, kind of whimsical in their own ways. I guess…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: It makes sense that if – doesn’t it make sense that if Albus is this, you know, social genius, and he knows how to work people like Fudge knows how to get out of tight spots, doesn’t it seem fitting that his brother would be just as weird, with – obviously lacking some of those skills – they kind of compliment each other, do you think?

Andrew: Right. Like the Ugly Duckling.

Laura: I’m not sure he’d be lacking in any skills, though. I mean…

Eric: What? Aberforth?

Laura: Yeah, I mean…

Eric: Because he seems like a social wacko. He is this…

Laura: Well Dumbledore’s kind of a social wacko…

Eric: That’s true.

Laura: …he’s just a nice one. [laughs]

Eric: That’s true. Well, still, goats. You said it yourself.

Jamie: Yeah, I mean it’s…

Laura: Well, it doesn’t mean he’s unintelligent.

Jamie: Laura, so in Cumming, do they just go around, you know…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …picking up goats and, uh…

Laura: No, no, no. See, here you have Uncle Daddy.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: We don’t – people don’t mess with goats here.

[Jamie still laughs]


Aberforth: The Order Member


Eric: So wait, he is actually in the Order. Or he was in the old Order. Back at Grimmauld Place, Mad-Eye Moody is looking at that picture, or he shows Harry that picture of the old Order, including Harry’s parents, Wormtail, and that, and it shows Aberforth Dumbledore. Mad-Eye Moody says he only met him once, and that was the time that picture was taken. And so he seems to be really mysterious, even to the other Order members. Because Moody only met him once, and if he’s in the Order that seems strange; they always see people dropping by at Headquarters, and that kind of thing.

Laura: Well, think about it. If the Hog’s Head is kind of a shady place, what better place…

Jamie: Kind of?

Laura: …to have an Order member?

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. And, also, it’s like there are some people who are on the good side, but you wouldn’t want round for dinner. It’s like Aberforth – he’s obviously on the good side, but he isn’t the kind of person who you can trust to drop by and, you know? It’s like – yeah.

Laura: Yeah. He’s like Mundungus.

Jamie: It’s like Jack Sparrow says in the first Pirates Of The Caribbean

Laura: [sighs] Oooh, Jack Sparrow.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Jamie: If I get this 100% right, which I know I won’t, it’ll be good. It’s, “Me, I’m dishonest. It’s the honest ones you’ve got to watch out for. Because…”

Laura: [sighs] Yes.

Jamie: Okay, I don’t know. But, you know, it’s that he’ll always be dishonest, perhaps, Aberforth – I can’t believe I’m making this parallel. This does not work at all.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Yes, it does. Johnny Depp works with anything.

Jamie: Yeah. I agree completely.

Andrew: No, he doesn’t.

Laura: Yes, he does.

Jamie: But…

Andrew: You guys are both just fangirls for him.

Jamie: And anyway, ummm…

Laura: I’m not ashamed to admit that.

Jamie: So, he’s completely dishonest. And although he can be trusted to help, I don’t think he can be trusted with the most sensitive stuff, so perhaps it’s that. It’s like Mundungus.

Eric: So you think he’s untrustworthy?

Jamie: Yes. No, I don’t think he’s untrustworthy, but he’s just, perhaps, incompetent.

Eric: Awkward?

Jamie: Yeah, awkward and incompetent.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Awkward, okay.

Andrew: He’s like Eric. We like him, but we just don’t want him places.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: We don’t want him around. Okay.

Andrew: I’m just kidding, just kidding.


Mundungus In The Hog’s Head


Eric: No, that’s fine. But, it’s funny you mention Dung, because Dung is – Mundungus is in the – he’s in the pub when Harry and them go and try and start the DA, dressed as a veiled witch. Which, actually, Sirius says is because Dung was thrown out of the Hog’s Head twenty years before, or something like that. So apparently, Dung is actually banned from the Hog’s Head. But in addition to that, in Book Six, Aberforth is actually spotted with Dung in Hogsmeade when – right before Katie gets attacked, and when Harry finds Dung stealing Sirius’ stuff – when they walk up to him, they see the barman. Harry recognizes the barman from the Hog’s Head, and just as they start walking up, Aberforth ties his cloak a little bit tighter and walks away. And that’s when Harry finds… But Dung and Aberforth were talking, so do you think Aberforth has a hand in Mundungus stealing Sirius’ stuff, or was he trying to buy stuff off of him, or what? Because Dung and Aberforth were seen together in that street, but, yet, Dung is supposed to have been banned from the pub, and all sorts of stuff. Is that just for show, is the whole thing just for show?

Jamie: Ummm…


Strategic Location: The Hog’s Head


Andrew: What if he’s Albus’ outsider.

Eric: I thought so.

Andrew: Not outsider, but he does all the dirty work that he can’t really be seen doing.

Jamie: What? Like killing people? [laughs]

Andrew: No, just like with the trades, with Sirius, and stuff like that.

Eric: Well guys, put it this way. The Hog’s Head in Hogsmeade – Hogsmeade is so close to Hogwarts, so my opinion is that it’s a location thing. Because there’s – obviously, if you want a pub in Hogsmeade, there is either the Three Broomsticks, which is crowded with all these happy-go-lucky people, and then there’s the Hog’s Head, which is this dusty, grimy place. Everyone keeps their cloaks up and covers their faces. So I’m thinking, if Hogsmeade is kind of a strategic location for Aberforth to have a bar, because the Hog’s Head obviously attracts a lot of the shadier, dodgy people. So… Things like – well, Hagrid got Norbert there, so I guess it makes sense that Dumbledore would have known about Norbert the whole time.

Jamie: Yeah. It also doesn’t seem like a place where you’d be watched; you go there and people don’t judge you. It just seems like a place where everyone’s weird, and it’s okay to be weird there.

Eric: Right, and, like I said, Ron seemed to think Aberforth was really passive, because he was going to try and get a Firewhisky off of him.

Jamie: Yeah.


Aberforth And The Prophecy


Eric: So that’s really interesting. The prophecy – because Aberforth was there. Aberforth was the only other person besides Snape, Dumbledore, Harry, and Trelawney, who has anything to do with the prophecy, as far as we know. Because it was the Hog’s Head, which is where the prophecy was made, it’s where Albus went to interview Sybil and Snape – or Trelawney and Snape. And Dumbledore was interviewing both of them that night for a teaching position, which kind of gets into Snape. But basically, during Trelawney’s prophecy, Aberforth came in, holding Snape by the scruff of the neck – is this correct? And he said, “This man was listening in,” or something like that.

Jamie: I think – I think we’re putting slightly too much importance on him, I must admit.

Eric: Well, he’s a main discussion, if we’re putting importance on him, it’s my fault.

Jamie: No, no, no. It’s fine. I think it’s interesting that is also shows that he just seems to be part of the plot, but not, you know – he’s like a fun thing. The thing about goats, the only reason that was there, was so that we recognized him in the bar, as the bartender. It’s just – it seems like just a challenge to us, to recognize that. It doesn’t seem like it’s important to the thing as a whole.


Did Aberforth Buy The Locket?


Eric: But the fact that Harry sees Aberforth and Dung together in the street, when Dung is nicking Sirius’ stuff, it seems to me that Aberforth might have actually – do you think it’s possible that he bought the locket off Mundungus? If Dung had actually collected that locket, wouldn’t it be really convenient if Aberforth had then bought it off of him? Or something like that? Since we’re worried – the whole question is, is the locket still at Grimmauld Place, if Dung was stealing the stuff?

Jamie: That’s very true, yeah.

Eric: So, then, I’ve picked this out, thanks to Lexicon, who said that it was Aberforth who was seen. And I thought, well – I just have – I don’t know – I have this idea that Aberforth is going to play a really big role in Book Seven. I just…

Laura: Well, do you think he’s going to help Harry, at all? Or do you think he’s going to be, kind of, a barrier?

Jamie: [says cautiously] Hinder.

Eric: Dung is the barrier. I think that’s the contrast, too, between barman and bar-goer, between Dung and Aberforth.

Jamie: Thief.

Eric: I think Aberforth is actually – yeah, [laughs] bartender and thief. The difference – I think Aberforth will help Harry, or something. I mean, Aberforth was there with the prophecy. I mean, come on. He’s got to – Harry should know this, and Harry should just go into the Hog’s Head and ask him a question, because this guy was there, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, I guess so.

Andrew: Well, that’s something that does make sense in Book Seven.


How To Reference Aberforth


Eric: Yeah, so wait. Here’s a question, guys. If Aberforth is a good – is a big character in Book Seven, will she call him Aberforth, or will she call him Dumbledore? Will she slip up and just mention his last name? Because…

Laura: No, she’ll call him Aberforth.

Eric: …wouldn’t it be funny if someone…

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: …if she called him Aberforth the whole time? Because if someone opened the book, and they read, “Dumbledore walked across the room,” they would scream it, [imitates a fan’s excitement] “Albus is alive! He’s alive!”


Will Aberforth Teach DADA?


Andrew: Here’s a question…

Eric: [mumbles] Well, kind of funny.

Andrew: …actually, a couple people e-mailed this. I was just looking through the MuggleCast emails for Aberforth. And, a lot of people seem to think that maybe Aberforth will be the one who takes over the Defense Against the Dark Arts role, because – and this comes from Josh of Vermont via Texas, whatever that means.

“I was listening very closely to Claire’s listing of the possible DADA teachers coming from current Order members. She was really thorough, listing the lasting members and the most prominent, but JKR herself mentioned that there is a member of the Order we haven’t seen at all, who will be playing a role in the seventh book.”

[Eric gasps]

Andrew: “After pursuing the Lexicon…”

Who looks at the Lexicon? HP Encyclopedia all the way!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “… of living Order members, most of which we’ve seen, I think that Claire’s glaring omission was Aberforth Dumbledore. Maybe he will come in to teach DADA.”

Jamie: What? And…

Andrew: What do you guys think?

Eric: [makes thoughtful noise] Aaah…

Jamie: Yeah, and he’d offer a drink of Firewhisky…

Andrew: Goats?

Jamie: …and a goat, yeah, for each person who gets the right answer.

Eric: [laughs] And a goat, yeah. You’ll have to sacrifice a goat for your exam. Pretty funny.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, you should have brought that up last week, though. Who was going to be the one – who is the one that Jo was talking about? And this was in an interview with Emerson and Melissa. “Member of the Order we haven’t seen at all, who will be playing a role in Book Seven.” So, I guess…

Laura: Yeah, but if we haven’t seen them at all, it’s not going to be Aberforth, because we have seen him.

Andrew: Not much, though.

Laura: Well, she said…

Andrew: Not very prominently.

Laura: She said, “You haven’t seen him,” didn’t she?

Andrew: “We haven’t seen at all.” Well, this could be paraphrased, you know. [whispers] Just go with it, Laura.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m just kidding.

Jamie: We just agree with you, yeah.

Andrew: So now, nothing on that? Alright. You’re doing a disservice to Reading, because now this reporter is just going to say the co-host of Reading was really lame.

Eric: Listen, I’m sorry, I grabbed all the other things about Aberforth, but we went through them so fast.


The Night Of The Prophecy


Eric: There’s just this thing where he finds Trelawney helping…

Andrew: [laughs] She’s writing it down, it’s true.

Eric: No, he finds Trelawney in the room. When is this? “Sectumsempra,” “The Seer Overheard”. Here it is. Okay. So he finds – this is pg. 506 in the UK edition.

Jamie: [in excitement] Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh. Wait. Wait, wait. Oh no, I can’t find my book.

Eric: Aw. Book Six…

Andrew: What?

Eric: Page 507 or so.

Jamie: No, I realize that, but…

Eric: No, I didn’t.

Jamie: Okay, one sec.

Eric: “‘I think you better tell Professor Dumbledore,’ says Harry.”

Jamie: [clucks his tongue] God.

Eric: This is when he finds Trelawney. “‘He ought to know Malfoy’s celebrating – I mean, that someone threw you out of the Room.'”

Jamie: Ugh.

Eric: “To his surprise, Professor Trelawney drew herself up at this suggestion, looking horny – haughty.” Sorry…

Jamie: Looking what, sorry? [laughs]

Eric: Uhhh…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: “‘The Headmaster has intimated that he would prefer fewer visits from me. I am not one to press my company upon those who do not value it.'” Eh, yeah. So wait, hang on. She… So, Harry suggests she go see Dumbledore, and she says, while they’re walking to his office, “I miss having you in my classes. You were never much of a Seer, but you were a wonderful Object.” [laughs]

Jamie: Hmmm.

Eric: Which is funny.

Jamie: That’s the best chat up line I’ve ever heard. I’m going to start using that.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You aren’t a very good Seer, but…

Eric: Come on. Okay…

Jamie: Sorry.

Eric: She says, “‘I well remember my first interview with Dumbledore,’ went on Professor Trelawney, in throaty tones. ‘He was deeply impressed, of course, deeply impressed. I was staying at the Hog’s Head, which I do not advise, incidentally – bedbugs, dear boy.'”

[laughs] This is an unkempt place. I mean … Ahhh.

“‘But funds were low. Dumbledore did me the courtesy of calling me in my room at the inn. He questioned me. I must confess that, at first, although he seemed ill-disposed toward Divination. And I remember that I was starting to feel a little odd, I had not eaten much that day. But then…'”

“And now Harry was paying attention properly for the first time, for he knew what had happened then: Professor Trelawney had made the prophecy that had altered the course of his whole life, the prophecy about him and Voldemort.”

“‘But then we were rudely interrupted by Severus Snape!'”

Harry just blacks out. He’s like, “What?”

Jamie: He’s like, [puts on an American accent] “Zoh my God, man!”

Eric: And then Trelawney says, “Yes.”
[imitates American version of Harry] “Zoh my God, what?! Snape?!” All right. [laughs]

“‘Yes, there was a commotion outside the door and it flew open, and there was that rather uncouth barman standing with Snape, who was waffling about having come the wrong way up the stairs, although I’m afraid that I myself rather thought he had been apprehended eavesdropping on my interview with Dumbledore – you see, he himself was seeking a job at the time, and no doubt hoped to pick up tips! Well, after that, you know, Dumbledore seemed much more disposed to give me a job, and I could not help thinking, Harry, that it was because he appreciated the stark contrast between my own unassuming manners and quiet talent, compared to the pushing, thrusting young man who was prepared to listen at the keyholes.'”

And Harry just completely took off to yell at Dumbledore for hiring Snape and stuff. But, so Snape – the thing is, why this is important… Because Snape wanted a job before he… He wanted to work at Hogwarts before he sent Voldemort after Lily and James. Do you guys think that was to be a spy for Voldemort, maybe? Was that – could that have been an initial plan even before…

Laura: Yes.

Eric: …he applied. Or was it something…? It could’ve.

Jamie: I think so.

Eric: But, so the barman stopped, actually stopped, Snape from – in fact, in a way, Aberforth saved Harry’s life? You could draw that conclusion, considering if Snape would have heard the full prophecy, Voldemort might not have made all those mistakes.

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Andrew: Yes. We do – we have a voicemail about that, actually.

Eric: Really?

Andrew: Later in the show. Well, Snape hearing the full prophecy.

Eric: So, yeah, it is Aberforth who stopped Snape from eavesdropping. Which is interesting, but…yeah. So, that’s cool. So, that places him. He’s at the scene of the crime, so I just want to learn more from him. I think he has a good – I mean, he’s Dumbledore’s brother. How not intelligent, how not able to give information and help, is he?

Jamie: Well, perhaps Dumbledore was just the lucky one, and he turned out, you know, thick.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: That’s what I was saying. He’s like the Ugly Ducking.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs] The black sheep of the family.

Laura: Yeah, but doesn’t the Ugly Ducking turn into a beautiful swan?

Eric: [gasps] Oooh.

Jamie: No, Laura.

Eric: [sings] Laura, you’re my best friend.

Andrew: Well, okay.

Jamie: Laura, Laura.

Andrew: Then maybe that can be his role in the seventh book.

Jamie: Maybe in your fantasy…

Laura: What?

Jamie: …fueled stories, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: In real life, Laura, that stuff just doesn’t happen, okay? Life is a cruel, hard time.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: The world is a cold place and it’s not worth fighting for.

Laura: Okay, Ben. All right, Ben. Thank you, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And to cap things off, call me Ben.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: That concludes our main discussion this week. And don’t forget: if you – if anyone has a topic idea for us to discuss, feel free to e-mail it: mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.


MuggleCast Dating Service


We have a new segment, now, that I’m really looking forward to. This is the MuggleCast Dating Service. You might remember last week, that I put people up to this.

Jamie: Oh yeah. Oh, can I read this one?

Andrew: Can I read the first one?

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: I’m really excited about this.

Jamie: No, Andrew, you can’t.

Andrew: Oh, fine.

Jamie: No.

Andrew: Okay, because…

Jamie: No, no. No, of course you can… No, go on.

Laura: You can’t both go out with Michael White from Amherst, Massachusetts. I’m sorry.

Jamie: Ooh, but he’s so tall! And he likes long walks on the beach.

Andrew: And you’re saying…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. No, go on Andrew.

Andrew: Well, we asked people last week to send in their applications, and we got two of them. So ladies, listen up. This first one comes from Michael, 16, of Amherst, Massachusetts. [laughs] Got the camera right in front of me, sorry. Michael…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Is that what you call it?

Andrew: [laughs] He’s age 16, he’s six foot three, and he enjoys long walks on the beach, dogs, paintball, volleyball, and Harry Potter. So, anyone in the…

Jamie: Yeah, man!

Andrew: …Amherst, Massachusetts area would like to get in touch with Michael, please email andrew at staff dot mugglenet dot com and I’ll get in touch with you. Favorite music: Saves the Day, Weezer, Goldfinger, MuggleCast, and Jamie Lawrence. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Favorite movies: Fight Club, 10 Things I Hate About You. Favorite MuggleCaster is me of course. What kind of question is that? And he’s looking for a fun girl, preferably in Western Mass and a MuggleCast listener. So…

Eric: Interesting combination of Fight Club and 10 Things I Hate About You

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. I was going to say that. He likes sort of violent chick flicks.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: And our second one in the MuggleCast Dating Service is Alan, 17ish – sounds a bit honest, 17ish.

[Jamie, Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: By 17, I mean 42.

Jamie: Yeah, give or take 40 years. Yeah, Subject: MuggleNet Dating. “I would love MuggleNet dating. If you guys could find me a girl that as obsessed with…”

Eric: Obsessed with what? That’s important.

Jamie: “I’d definitely invite you guys to the wedding and vote for you a billion times on Podcast Alley. [laughs]. Currently, I only vote a million or so times.”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Of course.

Jamie: Well, we could use a billion. Definitely. But, yes, of course Alan we will find you a nice girl. If you can send in exactly what you’re looking for and well get right on it. Okay?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Is as obsessed as I am” must be about Harry Potter or MuggleCast.

Jamie: Yes.

Andrew: Not the greatest speller though, so if you’re looking for someone who is excelling in English, I would not look for this one, ladies. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]


Voicemail – Micah’s Theory


Andrew: Voicemails this week. First one comes from, I don’t know. First voicemail this week comes from someone who has a question about Micah’s theory that Jamie posed last week.

[Audio]: Hey, guys! This is Mindy from Iowa calling about Episode 52 of MuggleCast. In it, Jamie talks about Micah’s theory of Harry’s dream in Sorcerer’s Stone being connected to Dumbledore’s murder. Couldn’t it be possible the dream was referring to the night Harry’s parents were killed. In it, it talks about seeing Snape and Harry hearing a laugh, a high-pitched laugh. Couldn’t it be connected to the theory that Snape was at Godric’s Hollow when Voldemort killed Harry’s parents and then laughed afterwards?

Jamie: I think it definitely could, but that wouldn’t explain why Draco was there. And I think it follows so well that it’s Draco and then he turns into Snape and then he kills Dumbledore.

Laura: If this is the case though, does this mean that Harry is a seer?

Eric: No, it just means he’s really gifted.

Andrew: No.

Jamie: No, no. Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura. “See”ker. Almost there.

Laura: [laughs] Oh, Jamie. You’re so funny.

Jamie: It has a “k”. It has a “k”.

Laura: There’s that British humor again.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Keep practicing and next week you may just have it.


Voicemail – Lockhart


Andrew: Next rebuttal is about hiring Lockhart as we discussed last week.

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCast! This is Seth from Venice, California with a listener rebuttal. I think the reason that Dumbledore hired Gilderoy Lockhart was partly because he needed a Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher and Gilderoy was the only one willing for the job, but also Jo said in an interview somewhere, and I can’t quote chapter and verse, but Dumbledore sometimes hires teachers even if they are incompetent or nasty or otherwise undesirable just because he wants students to have the life experience of dealing with the less savory side of human nature. So, I think that’s another reason he hired him. Thanks! And love the show. Bye!

Andrew: That is a good point.

Jamie: I agree, actually.

Laura: I think what you guys are also forgetting is that Hagrid said in Chamber of Secrets that Lockhart was the only one…

Andrew Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …who was qualified for the job.

Jamie: That’s what I was going to say.

Eric: Anyway, this guy couldn’t quote chapter or verse, I don’t know what his deal is, but he just somehow couldn’t.

Jamie: Or series.

Eric: I know right? [laughs] Anyway. Yeah, I agree with him. But it was… Lockhart was one of those… You know, I agree Dumbledore kind of presented… It was kind of what Harry could have used at that time…

Jamie: You’re doing well so far Eric, I must admit.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Oh my god! No, it’s kind of what Harry needed. You know? This whole clearly-famous guy who knew nothing and it gave Harry the opportunity to really shine forward with his own – at least in the Chamber of Secrets thing if they had somebody like Moody, it would have maybe been taken… I don’t know. It’s just the way the books worked. I think Lockhart came at an important time in the series. You know? It showed Harry – definitely I think it was for Harry’s first view of something that the public would have liked or though or supported that he was in contrast with.

Jamie: I agree. That sounds pretty reasonable.


Voicemail – Fred And George At The Quidditch World Cup


Andrew: Next rebuttal is about Fred and George and their scheming at the Quidditch World Cup

[Audio]: Hi, y’all! This is Marie Pat from Queens. I listen to y’all on the subway. It makes my commute go faster. I just listened to Episode 52 and I wanted to comment on Fred and George’s bet and the Quidditch World Cup. I don’t think they cheated or time-traveled or anything. I think this is an indication of what shrewd businessmen Fred and George are going to be. First off, if you listen to, I think it was Harry, after the game is over, he does a little analysis of the game – the Irish Chasers Troy, Mullet, and Moran, I think their names, were so good. There was no way Bulgaria was ever going to catch up once they started to lead. And Krum was, of course, the best Seeker ever. So, it was probably a pretty good chance that Krum would get the Snitch and a very good chance that the Irish would win the match. The combination, of course, is not as likely, but they needed to take the risk. And that is part of being a shrewd businessman, is knowing when take a big risk in order to get a big payoff. And you start to see that… Whoops, excuse me! You start to see that when they open their shop and also the way they leave the school. They have to take big risks in order to be successful. And they just happen to be smart and shrewd enough to make it work. And that is my theory on their bet. Too bad the bookmaker they placed their bet with wasn’t an honest dealer. Anyway, love the show and hope to hear the next one! Thank you! Bye bye!

Eric: Zoh my god! Goodnight!

Andrew: Good, nice and long, right?

Eric: I love how she is from Queens and says y’all. I like it when they say “y’all,” especially when they are from Queens, but this has got to be one of my favorite voicemails because thinking about it, she said it wasn’t exactly that far off or far-fetched idea for the kind of scenario that played out to actually happen. I think the way she did that, it was done very well. I think it seems a lot less necessary that Fred and George would have had to use time-travel.

Laura: I agree.

Andrew: It’s just a bunch of agreeing today.

Jamie: It is! I know! It’s…

Laura: We’re all so passive.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, we are. I couldn’t feel more passive today.


Voicemail – Odd Wizard Out


[Audio]: Hi this is Amanda. I’m from Michigan. I wanted to know what you guys would think, how it would feel like if you were the only non-magical person in a whole family of wizards. Like, how Ron would feel if he was the only non-magical person in his family. Thanks! Bye!

Jamie: I would feel left out and I would feel ashamed. I’d kind of be annoyed as well that all of my friends or my friends could conjure computers and stuff.

Laura: But what you don’t know is Jamie is the only non-magical person in his family.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I am. Yeah. [laughs] I am.

Laura: That’s why Andrew’s dad gave him the Lucky Charms.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly! {laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: He’s speaking from the heart.

Jamie: I was crying to Andrew’s dad all night that I didn’t have any magical powers.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jamie: So, he gave them to me in the hope that they ignite my magical powers or something.

Andrew: Make you feel [in leprechaun voice] “magically delicious!”

Jamie: Exactly! [laughs]

Eric: Jamie, are those Lucky Charms magically replenishing themselves or…?

Jamie: Yes, they are.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Oh my gosh!

Jamie: They’ve turned into 18 boxes so far.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: They’re reproducing in your cupboard.

Jamie: No, they are.

Andrew: So, I’m not sure why the person asks this question, but I guess she just wants our feelings on it. And we’d be sad.

Eric: Well…

Andrew: Of course we’d be sad. It would be like – insert something funny here.

Jamie: It would be like everybody in your family being amazing musicians and you being useless.

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It would be like being the Ugly Duckling.

Eric: You’d get pissed about it all the time.

Laura: Or it would be like being the only person in your family who liked talking about Harry Potter all day.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Can you imagine what that would be like?

Andrew: That is why people listen to this show because we connect with them and that’s it. That’s why.


Voicemail – That Night In Godric’s Hollow Revisited


Andrew: Next voicemail could possibly reveal why Harry could not be killed when he was a kid in Godric’s Hollow.

Eric: We already know why he couldn’t kill him.

Andrew: Are you ready for this? No, you’re… Not until you hear this.

[Audio]: Hi, this is Sarah from Maryland. I just rereading Order of the Phoenix and I was wondering what you guys thought about this passage. It’s on pg. 791, Chapter 35 of “Beyond The Veil”.

“The Death Eater had pulled his head out of the bell jar. His appearance was utterly bizarre, his tiny baby’s head bawling loudly while his thick arms flailed dangerously in all directions, narrowly missing Harry, who ducked, Harry raised his want but to his amazement Hermione seized his arm.”

“‘You can’t hurt a baby.'”

Now are we all know, Hermione usually speaks truth. And if this is true, could Voldemort have hurt Harry as a baby. Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Bye!

Jamie: I think she was speaking figuratively when she said you can’t hurt a baby. Like, it would be wrong to hurt a baby.

Laura: Yeah, I think that was kind of Hermione reacting in horror that…

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: …Harry would try and curse a baby.

Andrew: Hurt a baby. But that does bring up another point we got an e-mail about a while ago and I wanted to bring it to the show. But… Or maybe we did talk about this on the show – Hermione is always right.

Eric: Well, no. She wasn’t… But this isn’t her…

Laura: Not always.

Jamie: Except…

Eric: This is not Hermione…

Jamie: Except when she gets emotional.

Andrew: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Eric: That, but also this isn’t her matter-of-factly speaking. You can’t hurt a baby Harry! This is her saying…

Jamie: [in an American accent] Zoh my god, Harry! You can’t do that, man.

Eric: You can’t hurt a baby! Hermione sees his arm and she’s like, “What are you doing, Harry? You can’t hurt a baby!” And Harry could have retorted, you know, “Oh, but it’s really a Death Eater.” But she was just using, it was her mother instinct a girl. They already got the Death Eater, he’s got a baby for a head.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: He’s got this baby-faced Death Eater. They’ve got him. You don’t need to fire another curse. It was just Hermione – her mother instinct saying, “You can’t hurt a baby” not factually speaking. “Harry, you can’t hurt a baby…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: …so don’t even bother trying – don’t waste a spell. That’s not what she’s saying.

Laura: And where would you draw the distinction? I mean saying you can’t hurt a baby, but you can hurt a 10-year old? Because there – wasn’t it in Half-Blood Prince, the Montgomery sisters, their little brother was killed?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah!

Laura: He was like, killed. So, I just don’t see where that distinction could be drawn because most parents view children as their babies forever.

Jamie: Well, no, no, it depends which side you’re on. I mean Greyback killed their brother, didn’t he?

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Greyback kills little kids.

Jamie: He doesn’t care if you’re a little baby or if you’re… Yeah, exactly.

Laura: It doesn’t matter if there is magical protection over a baby.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s not.

Andrew: There isn’t.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: I don’t think so either. That’s what I am saying. I think it was just Hermione’s maternal instinct.

Jamie: She’s speaking… She’s speaking figuratively.

Eric: Yeah. There can be magic that is triggered by age, like for instance the spells on Privet Drive that will have passed.

Jamie: That will go off when he’s 17.

Eric: That will go off when he’s 17, that kind of thing. But, I don’t it’s regularly, like an actual regular occurrence.

Laura: Is Toni leaving us?

Andrew: No, the photographer is leaving. Toni is going to stick around. I am going to talk with her after. It was a problem they came this week because I couldn’t podcast naked like I normally do.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Andrew: I had to be clothed.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Right? I know. So inconvenient. Put on some clothes.

Andrew: Yeah, it didn’t work out.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Okay, well that does it for voicemails this week.


Dumbledore-Norris Quotes


Jamie: Now, as I am sure quite a few people have noticed, with the Dumbledore quotes, I have just been taking Chuck Norris quotes and turning them to Dumbledore quotes, which is not difficult. You just take out the word “Chuck Norris” and put in the word “Dumbledore”. So, but then I thought they aren’t very original if you do that. So, starting now we’re going to do some original Dumbledore quotes. And we’ve already been sent some in. And we’re going to start doing them, you know, from now on. So, if somebody has some original ones, please do send them in. [laughs]

For example, [laughs] one person sent one in today that Dumbledore was made Head Boy while he was still on the train, on the Hogwarts Express, in his first year.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Also, that Dumbledore told the Sorting Hat which House he was going to be in at Hogwarts.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And my personal favorite of the week: When a basilisk looks into Dumbledore’s eyes it suffers an instant death.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was hilarious. How could you not laugh at that?

Laura: I guess I am going to have to rent some Chuck Norris films because…

Eric: It’s some of the British stuff, right? Wasn’t that British? I…

Andrew: Yeah, I need to have a talk with Laura and Eric and Ben, if he was here. Why don’t you guys think they are funny?

Laura: Hey, well if it helps, if it helps my dad worked on the set of a Chuck Norris film.

Jamie: Really? That’s awesome!

Andrew: No way!

Laura: Yeah! Invasion USA.

Andrew: Did he get his autograph?

Laura: No, I don’t think so.

Andrew: Was Chuck Norris as cocky as he seems on screen?

Laura: I don’t know. This was back before I was born. So…

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: I don’t think that Chuck Norris has anything to do with these Chuck Norris jokes. I think it’s just his fans.

Jamie: Probably, yeah. How about…

Andrew: Because he’s… Because he’s a real tough guy on the show and so that’s where these – they are sort of like the Jack Bauer jokes.

Jamie: Yeah, they are. Yeah.

Eric: Oh, Jack Bauer.

Jamie: There is no chin behind Dumbledore’s beard, only another wand.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: [laughs] What about if Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris had a fight, Dumbledore would win? I think that was good.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Eric: That was good.

Jamie: Or when Dumbledore and Chuck Norris walked into a room, the room collapsed because that much awesomeness cannot be contained in one building.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]


Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail Of The Week


Andrew: It’s now time for Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail of the Week. No, that was bad. Huh?!

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: There you go.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It concerns my Easy Button that sounds a little like this [press button] “That Was Easy!”

Jamie: You’re fired!

Andrew: Alyssa, 13, of Massachusetts.

[Plays Trump sound “You’re Fired!”]

Andrew: The battery is dying, it’s getting quieter with every push. Alyssa, 13, of Massachusetts writes:

Hey, Andrew. When you mentioned the Easy Button and played it on the show, I immediately wanted one. I’m sure I’m not the only one and you should have Staples pay you because you brought them business. Love the show! Keep up the good work!

Alyssa, the reason why this my Huh?! E-mail of the Week is because the money from these go to charity and I am not the kind of person who would steal money from charity just by promoting the Easy Button.

Jamie: Nope.

Andrew: As a matter of fact, I have been working with Staples to promote the Easy Button and you can purchase these at your local Staples store for only $5.00 and it benefits the Boys and Girls Club of America. [pushes button] “That Was Easy!”

Jamie: That was quite easy, wasn’t it?

[Everyone laughs]


Jamie’s Back Hurts


Andrew: Jamie, I’ve noticed now – you’ve been a little moody for the past hour. What’s going on? You have a story to tell us or something?

Jamie: Well, I haven’t… I have a… I can’t even think of the word.

Andrew: Story?

Jamie: Story, yeah. [laughs] Well…

Andrew: It’s called a story. [laughs]

Jamie: Well, I have a half-confession, as well. I haven’t got a joke this week. Now, normally, I’d apologize, but there’s a story behind it, so I won’t

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I thought I would be an extremely nice person and clean the kitchen. And I brought the bin, the qui – sorry, the trash can, man. I got…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: I got the trash can, took it outside, and filled it up with water to clean it because it was dirty. Then, I bent down to pick it up, so I could move it to the drain and pour the water away. However, I didn’t realize it – it was this heavy. So, I got down, put my hands on it, went to lift it up, and I didn’t lift it because it was too heavy, and basically, to cut a long story short, I’ve torn all the muscles in my lower back, and it hurts. And it hurts so much.

Laura: [moans] I vaguely remember you telling me about that.

Jamie: Yeah. And I can hardly move, and it hurts to do absolutely everything. And they keep spasming and causing me to almost fall over, so that’s why: a) I don’t have a joke; and b) I feel moody this entire show; and, c) My jokes have been jokes but haven’t really been jokes. So, yeah. [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: How does he do that?

Andrew: Jamie, have you consulted a doctor?

Jamie: I have, yeah.

Andrew: Because, frankly, I’m worried about you.

Jamie: I have, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Well, what’d the doctor say?

Jamie: That I’ve torn my muscles. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh. [laughs]

Jamie: Basically.

Laura: [laughs] Send Jamie some pain killers.

Andrew: Yeah… [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, and hopefully…

Andrew: …to the PO Box. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, and they’ll get with me in 2015, so, I’ll tear them again then just so I can use the pain killers.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]


New Segment: Crackpot Theory of the Week


Andrew: Okay, Eric? Are you going to do your e-mail?

Eric: Yeah, sure. You want to intro it, though, because…?

Andrew: Okay. Yeah. We’re going to start a new segment this week. We’re going to call it – you know, we’ve been kicking this one around for a while and, when thinking of who would be the best co-host to defend a theory down to the wire with his life depending on it, it would definitely be Eric. So, Eric is going to start a weekly segment, or attempt to make it weekly. It is going to be the Crackpot Theory of the Week. Eric?

Eric: [laughs] Okay. For this first Crackpot Theory of the Week, we go back to… You know, we go back in time a couple…

Andrew: No, wait, wait, wait. Let me explain this a little bit more, because I thought you were going to. Crackpot Theory of the Week: Where Eric will take a theory that he finds online, or maybe one that you send in, and he will defend it with all his might, as outrageous as it might sound, but it could very well be possible. So, go ahead, Eric.

Eric: You’ve completely crushed [laughs] – you’ve built up this sort of, you know, big, big tension for this really good, I don’t know. All right.

So, for this first Crackpot Theory of the Week, we go back in time a couple of weeks to Lumos. Lumos 2006 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Now – oh, by the way, I have pictures of Lumos and Vegas and New York City on my private gallery: crownscull dot com slash gallery. Okay? That’s just that for people who want to relive.

Now, okay, so going back to Lumos, there was a few panel discussions, and Steve VanderArk from HP-Lexicon.org was in one of his keynote speeches, I think, or one of his speeches, and at the very end, he fooled, or he surprised everybody with a strange theory as to why Dumbledore isn’t dead, or, well, you know, later on in New York City, JKR confirmed this, so I can’t really defend it to the T, but he suggested that Dumbledore couldn’t be dead because Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn switched bodies before entering the cave.

If you pay close attention, and the reason this floored everybody – everybody went silent – was because in the cave, there are several instances where Dumbledore uses, “Oho” – O – H – O – as a kind of response to start his stories. And it’s just – it’s very awkward for Dumbledore to, all of a sudden, be saying, “Oho!” a lot, and he’s waiting around in the cave. And people – so, the theory is, I guess, that Dumbledore and Slughorn switched bodies. That Slughorn used the Polyjuice Potion, and then that it was Slughorn who was killed, and that’s why Dumbledore is still alive, and people were just floored and completely silent, and Steve VanderArk totally PWNed everybody, and everybody walked out, like, “Oh, my god.” So, I guess I’m supposed to defend this to a T, but JKR kind of said that he died, and also, Mr. Weasley says, “Oho,” once, I think, in Book Five, I was reading. So, Crackpot Theory – well, Crackpot Theory should also be theories that are completely crackpot.

Jamie: I’ve got a different idea.

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: Can we – can we put a spin on this? Basically, you don’t know what the theory is before the show, and then we come up with a theory, and then we say it to you.

Laura: Oh, that’s a good idea!

Jamie: And you have to say for five minutes just to defend it, and to come up with all the evidence, and just…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …improvised – improvise.

Andrew: So, we’re going to ask the listeners to send in theories that are crazy but could be true, and then we pose them to Eric on the show.

Jamie: Yeah, and he has to improvise, you know, and defend it for two or three minutes, completely improvised.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: I like that, actually, a lot.

Jamie: Yeah, it’ll be fun. It’ll be fun.

Eric: I’m psyched for it.

Andrew: All right. So, listeners, subject line: Crackpot Theory. Pose a theory, pose your points, we’ll read them to Eric. Eric will…

Jamie: Defend them to the death. Good, good.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Oh, but no points. I almost want to ask no points, because they’re…

Andrew: Okay. Then, just the theory.

Eric: Just the theory.

Andrew: All right.

Eric: Even if you have points for it, don’t share them, and see if I bring them up.

Andrew: But, keep in mind that Eric has to defend it for a few minutes…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …so, don’t make it something that could be… Well, two or three minutes. So, make it a theory that it can last…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: You know, it’s not stupid. It’s discussion worthy.

Eric: Okay. Oh, by the way, Eric…

Andrew: mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com


Eric’s Exciting News!


Eric: You guys, you guys – Laura, Laura especially remembers Eric. You know, the wand checker, Eric, from Book Five?

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, you brought him up on the show.

Laura: I remember that.

Eric: He has a last name! I was… As I said, I was reading Book Five, and he has – his last name is Munch.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. It is. Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it is. His name is Eric Munch, and he arrests Sturgis Podmore. He’s on night duty in the Department of Mysteries, so, he must be important to have a job in the Department of Mysteries. Okay.

Andrew: Cool!

Eric: Okay. Cool.

Andrew: Well, I believe that does wrap up our show this week. [laughs] We hope you enjoyed our testing of Crackpot Theory.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I did.

Andrew: And…

Eric: I think Jamie’s idea was better.

Jamie: Thank you.


Last E-Mail: Where’s Chapter-by-Chapter?


Andrew: One last e-mail comes from Sura…Suraimee…Surama…

Laura: Suriyama?

Jamie: So, yeah. This is from Suriyama, 21, from Bonn in Germany. Subject: Chapter-by-Chapter.

“I just wanted to ask if you are going to continue with the Chapter-by-Chapter segment. I really liked it and miss it a lot. I love your show and all you. It’s by the far the best podcast. Regards, Suri.”

Thank you, Suri.

Andrew: Yeah, we’ve been getting a lot of e-mails like this lately, wondering where Chapter-by-Chapter is, and, like we said, at the end of the last one, that we’d be taking a break off it, but we are going to bring it back very soon, but…

Eric: Yeah, I think I…

Andrew: But we’re working on a new format for it…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: …in order to make it better.

Eric: I guess I just have to send you a kind of reformed, revised outline about how to clearly state things, right, Andrew? So, shouldn’t we – could we promise getting it on next week? Could we do that? Can everybody read, I think it would be the first two…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Eric: First two chapters of Book Two?

Jamie: Two? Two?

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Next week – I tell you, people – with this new Crackpot Theory of the Week; with this Chapter-by-Chapter Book Two starting up, next week is going to be Eric-tastic.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Oh, god. [laughs]

Laura: Oh, Jesus.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I am stoked. And, by the way, check out the gallery. eric scull dot com slash gallery.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Right.


Show Close


Andrew: If you cannot believe next week’s show is going to be Eric-tastic, then please remember to call in with all your excitement to 1-218-20-MAGIC in the [says slowly] UK you can dial…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: It’s loading really slow. 020-8144-0677. In Australia you can use 02-8003-5668. We haven’t been getting many calls from these places.

[Show close music plays]

Eric: It’s because you say double four, double oh seven, double eight, acht, neun…

Andrew: I picked double numbers so it’s catchy, sort of.

Eric: No, it sounds awesome, but I would hate to be the person who has to slow down your voice on the show and actually catch it.

Andrew: 020-8144-0677 UK. 02-8003-5668 in Australia. If you didn’t catch that, just go to MuggleCast dot com, click on contact. Also, Skype the user name MuggleCast, e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com with your dating uh, dating uh, dating uh, dating uh things.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: If you like Michael or Allan, please e-mail Andrew at staff dot MuggleNet dot com and let us know.

Eric: If you like goats, send that in, too.

Andrew: Hopefully, we’ll get you two together.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: About Aberforth’s…

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals; you guys know how we do the show by now. Send everything in. And also check LeakyMug.com this week for more information on LeakyMug Live in California for the Podcast Awards. We’ll all be out there. It’s a par-tay, woo! That wraps up MuggleCast Episode 53 [laughs]. I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: I am Eric-tastic.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: And I am Jam.

Laura: Jamie, you were supposed to…

Eric: [laughs] Jam. Jam.

Laura: …fight me for that.

Jamie: No way. No way.

Laura: We were supposed to be fighting over that last place now…

Jamie: Laura.

Laura: …like we were at the beginning of the show.

Jamie: Laura. Laura, I’m in so much pain now, you just have to poke me and I fall over and give in, seriously.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode Fitty-four.

Laura: Adios!

Jamie: Fitty-four! Bye bye.

Eric: Ciao.


Micah’s First News Segment

Andrew: In commemoration, now, of Micah Tannenbaum’s one year of news podcasting here on MuggleCast, here is his very first news segment, which he is very, very embarrassed of.

Micah: Thanks, Andrew.

Let’s begin with our top news story…

Start spreading the news (don’t worry, I wont break out singing Frank Sinatra), but Warner Bros. announced Friday that the Big Apple will host the U.S. premiere of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on November 12, 2005. The world premiere will take place a week earlier, on November 6th in London.

Speaking of Goblet of Fire, on Wednesday, Warner Bros. officially released the international trailer with amazing shots of the Quidditch World Cup and all three tasks in the Triwizard Tournament. Listeners can check out this new trailer by logging on to the film’s official website at www.gobletoffire.com.

Staying with the topic of movie premieres, Katie Leung (who portrays Cho Chang) and Robert Pattinson (who portrays Cedric Diggory) both recently attended the Dukes of Hazzard premiere in Leicester Square, London. Hopefully, they weren’t taking any acting lessons.

Finally, wrapping up our movie news for this week, Tom Felton (who portrays Draco Malfoy) will supposedly stay on through the filming of the seventh Harry Potter movie. He spoke about it while hosting the 3rd Annual Junior Carp Tournament, saying: “I’ll keep doing it as long as they
want me to.”

In other news, a Dutch Harry Potter fan named Dennis just couldn’t wait for the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, so he made his own rendition entitled Harry Potter and the Torch with Green Flames, which he started writing back in January of 2004. And while publishing of his creation was forbidden, it was uploaded onto the Internet (in Dutch for those who wish to read).

Moving from the Netherlands to France, the French cover of Half-Blood Prince was released on Tuesday, which is similar in style to the American deluxe edition. The book is due out in France on October 1st.

Finally, if you didn’t have a chance to participate, on Thursday MuggleNet staffer Jamie Lawrence hosted a chat with Matthew Lewis (who portrays Neville Longbottom). You can log on to MuggleNet to check out the transcript.

Before we leave two birthday announcements to take make: one to Rupert Grint the actor who portrays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films turned 17 and to MuggleNet senior staff member Ben Schoen who turned 16, both on Tuesday. Happy birthday to both of you. And I’d sing happy birthday, but I assume you want to keep your ratings up.

Of course you can get more in-depth news, pictures, videos, and audio clips of all the things mentioned by logging on to MuggleNet.

That’s all the news for this August 28, 2005, edition of MuggleCast, back to you guys.


Bloopers


Jamie: [singing] They’re coming to take him away, ha ha, they’re coming to take him away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha. To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time. And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats.

Laura: [laughs] Thank you, Jamie.

Jamie: You’re welcome.

———————–

Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Eloise, Jean, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly