Transcript #74

MuggleCast 74 Transcript

Show Intro

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[Intro music plays]

Andrew: Because we finally have a podcaster from Australia this week, this is MuggleCast Episode 74 for January 28th, 2007.

[Music continues to play]

Ben: [in a gruff voice] Welcome back to MuggleCast! I’m Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Games and Keys at Hogwarts.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, boy….

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …did we get a lot of feedback about that last week.

Kevin: Yeah.

Eric: And 50 other reasons not to listen to MuggleCast.

Kevin: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Actually, I’m Ben Schoen, by the way. I was doing the wonderful Hagrid impression. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to offend anybody. It was just – it was in good fun, I had done the joke before. I wasn’t making fun of Robbie Coltrane’s weight by saying that there’s Burger King and Dairy Queen and all these places on set. I wasn’t trying to make fun of a British accent. I was just having a good time.

Andrew: I think what upset most people who did complain – I think we got more good feedback than we did bad, to be completely honest with you.

Eric: Really?

Andrew: But – yeah. I really think so. What most people were upset about was that we hyped it up a week beforehand, so we won’t be doing that again for things such as… [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: …a Rubeus Hagrid interview.

Ben: But some of them…

Andrew: Although we did cut down on some hyping that we had planned.

Ben: Well, we tried to make it really obvious. If you go back and listen to that show, when we said that, “This is a huge interview; the biggest person to ever be on a Harry Potter podcast.”

Micah: Yeah, it was very sarcastic.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. Yeah, so – so we’re sorry.

Andrew: So it’s – yeah.

Ben: If you got Punk’d, we’re sorry for punking you.

Andrew: Now that we got that out of the way, though, welcome back, everyone, to another edition of MuggleCast. We’ve got a great show for everyone – more JK Rowling quotes to discuss, and also a little discussion on death. It’s going to be a little sad. But I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: I am Eric Scull.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.


Andrew: Micah Tan, the MuggleCast anchor newsman, is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories. Micah!

Micah: A few months ago, Dan Radcliffe and Warwick Davis’s guest appearance on the British television series, Extras, ran on UK TV. HBO will be airing this episode for the first time in the United States on tonight at 10 PM, Eastern.

And we previously informed you that 2006 was Britain’s best-recorded year for filming, with a total of £840 million being spent. However, new figures suggest little of this is being used in Scotland. Although Harry Potter is predominantly set in Scotland, only small portions of the film are actually shot there. Just $100,000 of Order of the Phoenix‘s $150 million budget were used.

Two pallets containing 3,000 copies of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Quidditch Through the Ages have been stolen. The books, which were due to be recycled, were taken from The Recycling Company at Port Talbot’s docks in the UK.

The Guardian on Saturday wrote about the obstacles faced by Harry Potter translators such as the invented words, prophecies, rhymes, and general wordplay. The article also notes translators come under pressure in countries where the quality of second-language English is high, causing many to buy the original version, instead.

The BBC has announced that they will be launching a new reality series later this year in search of a “real” Harry Potter. The show will follow young students studying magic at a boarding school as they face off, showing their skills at varying card tricks and illusions. Someone will leave the show each week until only one remains and becomes the The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. That is Laura Mallory’s biggest nightmare.

And speaking of Laura Mallory, for the first time since she embarked on a relentless campaign to remove Potter from Gwinnett County’s school libraries in August of 2005, Laura Mallory has spoken out in detail about her motives. In a new article found in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, she slams myths such as, “This is a one-woman fight,” and, “Witchcraft is just harmless fantasy.” She writes that young children have been indoctrinated into witchcraft, causing their lives to be ruined. In response to the question, “Do you believe Harry Potter promotes Wicca?” JKR replied back in a 2001 interview with this:

“That’s not true. Not once has a child come up to me and said, ‘Due to you I’ve decided to devote my life to the occult.’ People underestimate children so hugely. They know it is fiction. When people are arguing from that kind of standpoint, I don’t think reason works tremendously well. But I would be surprised if some of them had read the books at all.”

What a coincidence! Laura Mallory hasn’t read the books!

Jo went on to say:

“Witches and wizards are a huge part of children’s literature; it’ll never go away. Hundred years, two hundred years’ time there’ll be another kind of wizard story.”

And if you’ve got something to say, you can now contact Mrs. Mallory at her website, the link provided on

That’s all the news for this January 28th, 2007 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Podcasting From Sunday

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah!

Micah: Yep.

Andrew: Eric, you are podcasting, this week, from a new location.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: You might be the first podcaster…

Ben: From Sunday! He’s podcasting from Sunday!

Andrew: [laughs] From Sunday, yeah.

Eric: From the future.

Andrew: Podcasting from the future! Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: From the near future, actually, yes.

Andrew: Eric, where are you?

Eric: I am in New Zealand.

Andrew: Oooh!

Eric: Oooh!

Andrew: You are going to be studying in England…

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Andrew: …or New Zealand… [laughs]

Eric: New Zealand. Yes. It’s kind of close. New Zealand’s a Commonwealth country, which means…

Andrew: How long are you going to be there?

Eric: Well – uh, probably…

Andrew: I mean grand total, not just approximate.

Eric: Yeah. I would say probably – I would say for the Bachelor of Arts, which I’m going for at Victoria University, here in the capital city of New Zealand, Wellington, three years, Bachelor of Arts. Yeah.

Andrew: Three years. Wow. [laughs]

Kevin: Now everyone can stalk you. [laughs]

Eric: Three years. So…

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it’s true. They can go onto and, you know, see where I’m going.

Ben: Now, is this a public university?

Eric: It’s – yeah. It’s public.

Ben: Now, are degrees international?

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: If you get a Bachelor’s of Arts there…

Kevin: Yeah, of course.

Ben: …is it still going to apply in the US?

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, it is. But it’s for… There are, like, there – I guess under ten universities in New Zealand for tertiary education, which is like colleges, you know, unis? And this is a very large one. They get international students from a lot of Asia, actually, and America, and stuff. So, it’s actually a big school. Very international, very cool. I like it a lot. It’s very beautiful, too.

Andrew: So, how far ahead in time are you? Time-zone wise. What is it, 18 hours?

Eric: Eighteen hours? Yeah, I think – yeah. Right now, it’s 18 hours. It might switch, go back to 17…

Andrew: From the East Coast, anyway.

Eric: Yeah. From the East Coast, if you subtract – what, six hours? And then add a day from Eastern Standard Time, that’s what time it is in New Zealand.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Eric: In…

Andrew: Very cool.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: So it’s 9:00 AM there, it’s 3:30 here.

Eric: That’s correct.

Andrew: Well, it’s 9:30 there.

Eric: It is 9:30, yeah.

Andrew: Well, good morning to you.

Ben: Good – yeah.

Andrew: Top o’ the morning to you.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: Oh, well thank you, Andrew. Anyway, I won’t talk about it anymore, I know we’ve got a show to get to, but I did want to mention one thing that I find cool. That – it’s a trend I just want to start Americans doing, so when I come back in three years for good, people do it everywhere. When you give a – when they give a web address here, right? They have the – you know, web addresses, typically the URL begins with “www.” Well, actually, here if they’re giving a web address they just say “dub dub dub.”

Andrew: That’s what I always say.

Eric: So, you know, we promote MuggleNetMuggleCast, we should say “dub dub dub dot MuggleNet dot com.” That sounds so much cooler, I think…

Ben: Ah, I don’t know.

Eric: …than saying “w-w-w-w-w”.

Ben: I think “dub-ya.”

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Dub-ya, dub-ya, dub-ya.

Eric: [laughs] Dub-ya, dub-ya, dub-ya.

Andrew: How about “W cubed”?

Ben: Yeah, or…

Eric: “W-w”…

Ben: Wooh, wooh…

Eric: Well, okay. What I’m saying is there’s a…

Ben: [laughs] [speaking quickly] Wuh, wuh, wuh.

Andrew: [speaking quickly] Wuh, wuh, wuh. [laughs]

Eric: … range – there’s a whole range…

Ben: [speaking quickly] Wuh, wuh, wuh dot.

Eric: …and it’s inspired me to give web addresses differently. So, I don’t know, maybe people find that cool. People at home.

Andrew: I say “dub, dub, dub” sometimes, actually.

Ben: No you don’t.

Eric: Really?

Andrew: Yeah I do. Not to you. I have. I used to.

[Andrew, Ben, and Kevin laugh]

Andrew: Anyway…

Eric: Yeah, it is common practice. And they have the letter “w,” but when they’re giving it in a web address – it makes it cooler and faster. So, I thought I would mention that.

Andrew: Neato. Thanks for that.

Eric: Yeah.

Micah: You know what’s interesting, though? We actually got an e-mail this week asking for somebody to be on our show that podcasts from Australia, since I know there is a lot of listeners out there.

[Kevin laughs]

Micah: So, we’re glad we could accommodate you.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: There you go. [laughs]

Eric: Yes. You sent me here, you paid for my college, just to please the Australians.

Andrew: The fans, yeah.

Eric: No, but, people at home, do not worry, people in America. I am coming to Prophecy and stuff, so none of that…

Andrew: Oh, [sighs in relief] phew, good. I was starting to get scared. [laughs]

[Andrew, Kevin, and Micah laugh]

Eric: Oh, yeah. You guys were…

Ben: I was freaking, too.

Eric: Well no, I’ll still be doing that. And if there is a Book 7 release in the next three years, which is…

Andrew: Imminent.

Eric: … you know, maybe possible, then – what are we doing then? England? Book release? We did say…

Ben: We haven’t decided yet.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: A few years ago Jamie, Emerson and I said we would do one in England. So…

Ben: Well, I know.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Since what you said three years ago is…

Andrew: [laughs] Is the..

Ben: … binding. It’s binding.

[Andrew, Ben and Eric laugh]

Andrew: But, anyways…

Eric: All right, guys.


Andrew: You know, speaking of England, I accidentally insulted – without meaning to – insulted England and Canada last week. I said something about those countries…

Ben: [laughs] You insulted them?

Andrew: I did. I said that they were stupid countries, but what I forgot to keep in was the part where I was saying I was just kidding.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: And I really was, I did not mean anything by it. So, anyone who was offended by that last week, I whole-heartedly apologize…

Ben: We’re really dumb Americans.

Andrew: …I really don’t think they’re stupid countries.

Ben: We’re just dumb Americans.

Andrew: Don’t take – yeah, and I’m sarcastic all the time. Don’t take anything that I say seriously.


Andrew: We’d like to remind everyone that we are going to be at Prophecy. Full podcast details haven’t been worked out yet, but we’ll get you guys those as soon as possible. It’ll probably be released in the form of a Leaky Mug. And, also, there is the Decade of Enchantment Ball, and we wanted to remind everyone that tickets are sold out. However, on the website and to us, they said that they are looking into selling more tickets at a later date. So if you were hoping to go to the Yule Ball and you haven’t signed up for Prophecy yet…

Ben: Your dreams aren’t dead yet.

Andrew: …then – yeah. Kevin actually missed out; he registered a little too late.

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: So, we’re going to try to get him in if he wants to.

Kevin: I’ll break in.

Ben: So, folks, Kevin Steck, Kevin Steck is looking for a date, so…

Andrew: Hmmm. Yes, he is.

Kevin: Yeah, you’re bringing Andrew, right, Ben?

Ben: [laughs] Actually I’m…

Eric: Yeah. No, I heard that you and Jamie and Ben were going in a threesome?

Andrew: That’s my plan. I hope…

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: I hope those other two are still sticking with it.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Ben, you haven’t found a date yet, right?

Ben: Dude, I have so many fangirls, man. They just flock all over me. They just flock all over me. I…

Andrew: Yeah. Also, Enlightening 2007, Ben, Jamie, Micah and I will be there mid-July – actually, the release date of the Order of the Phoenix film, we’ll be there doing a live podcast. I was actually there yesterday, meeting with Vicki who is running Enlightening 2007, and it’s actually pretty cool. The place we’re going to be doing the podcast from is like this theater style, old – it looks like an old theatre – old-style theatre. It’s actually really cool. And, also, the place where they are having the Great Feast is actually – it looks like the Great Hall. It actually looks just like the Great Hall, with the tall windows and everything. So it is pretty cool and it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Ben: Something else – something else interesting. Andrew and I discussed this a few days ago. Since that’s the day the movie comes out we were thinking perhaps after we get done doing the workshop and doing the podcast, maybe we could go see the movie with all of you. I mean, there’s nothing set in stone, but there’s something…

Andrew: Well, no, they’re having a movie premiere there.

Ben: Are they really? Oh, I just made this stuff up… [laughs]

Eric: That’s pretty cool.

Ben: Forget I talked about that. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] I know, I was going to say – yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, so they’re going to have a movie premiere there, so we’ll go to that. So, if anyone is interested we encourage you to visit for more information. It’s going to be a great event, and there is going to be lots of Harry Potter discussion going on. There is also going to be a workshop hosted by Ben, Jamie and I about how to create your own podcast. We have 30 people signed up for that right now, so we look forward to meeting all of them, and we’re going to give you a behind-the-scenes look at how we make MuggleCast. So, it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Kevin: What’s the website?

Andrew: at the University of Pennsylvania. There are actually photos on my Flickr. I’m not going to link to them, but if anyone wants to check those out, [clears throat] Anyway, we have a few e-mails, now, to get to this week, and then we’ll get on to our main discussion. Micah, you want to read the first one?

Listener Rebuttal: Albania

Micah: Sure. The first one’s from Sarah, 15, from Tennessee. She’s writing in about Bertha Jorkins. She says:

“In Episode 73, you said that Bertha went missing in Romania. She actually went missing in Albania. That’s where Voldemort’s hiding place was before he had a ‘body’. I hope you have a very ‘Harry’ day.”


Ben: Sorry!

Andrew: Thanks for clearing that up for us, Sarah.

Listener Rebuttal: Krum is Bulgarian

Ben: I’ll read the next one. Savannah, 15, from Ellicott City, Maryland, writes about Krum’s nationality.

“Hey MuggleCasters. I couldn’t help but noticing that in MuggleCast Episode 73 you kept saying that Krum was Romanian…”


“…but he is part of the Bulgarian Quidditch team, making me think that he is most likely Bulgarian. Just wanted to point this out. I love your show! Keep up the good work.”

Eric: [laughs] All right, now you guys…

Ben: [laughs] So, I guess Romania is just everything.

[Eric sighs]

Ben: Just replace everything with Romania.

Eric: You guys have struck gold. Romania is everything, but this time it actually shares a border with Bulgaria. So you guys are in luck.

Ben: Sorry about that. We just – we’re just in love with Romania, I guess.

Andrew: We were – we were thinking on our feet with that discussion. We had to – yeah, we weren’t on top of our Bulgarian game, if you know what I’m saying.

Listener Rebuttal: The Wand in Ollivander’s

Ben: Janelle Heaney…

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: … who writes from San Francisco Bay, California, about Episode 73; finding the Horcruxes per book.

“Hello! First of all I’d like to express my deep appreciation for you all. It is your podcast that keeps me sane during my long commute to school on Bart. On the topic of finding a Horcrux in each book, has anyone brought up the short scene inSorcerer’s Stone in which Harry first walks into Ollivander’s, in which ‘a single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window’? Page 82 of the US hardback. Thank you for everything!”

Andrew: Ooh, very interesting.

Ben: And, by the way, many – a lot of people sent this in, just assuming that that’s Ravenclaw’s wand.

Andrew: That’s very interesting. I kind of like that. But why would it be Ravenclaw’s?

Ben: Because you need something from Ravenclaw? Right, Micah?

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. But I don’t know. Maybe, just to play devil’s advocate, maybe it was just a wand that they were featuring. Like, [cheesy voice] on sale now, hey!

Ben: Yeah, but, well… JK Rowling doesn’t really – when she draws attention to something like that, you know what I mean? It’s not – it’s usually significant. She is not going to draw attention to a special wand on sale, I don’t think.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: Hmmm…

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: If you think of the main purpose of wands as being academic, kind of, as in furthering your study of magic and stuff like that, it would be really cool if Ollivander had had, you know, Ravenclaw’s wand, and if that were the one in display. That would just kind of be cool because, you know, people might not know it, and I’m sure he probably wouldn’t, you know, put a plaque saying, “Ravenclaw’s Wand,” just in case people know about Horcruxes or are looking for it, but, you know, it would be kind of cool if that turned out to be a Horcrux, but…

Andrew: Very interesting. Thank you, Janelle.

Listener Rebuttal: Counting Horcruxes

Ben: Mitch from Orange County writes about the Horcruxes again.

“I sent you a voicemail earlier, but I wanted to go into more detail than I could in a 30 second message. JK Rowling has said many times that Dumbledore is never far off from the mark. I think that means we can take 95% of what he has as fact and true. I therefore extend this to his thought on the Horcruxes. Dumbledore says that Voldemort split his soul into seven parts. It is logical to presume that the parts are as follows: one, the diary; two, the ring; three, the locket; four, Nagini; five, unknown; six, unknown; and seventh is still in Voldemort, as he needs to live. Numbers one, two, and seven are all gone. Number one was destroyed by Harry. Number two was destroyed by Albus. Number seven was destroyed the night Harry tried to kill Voldemort. That leaves four…”

Eric: The other way.

Ben: “…Horcruxes remaining.”

That’s what I mean. Voldemort tried to kill Harry. [laughs]

“That leaves four Horcruxes remaining: the locket, Nagini, and two unknowns. Why make a Horcrux? So, that it can be used to return to life. We know that he has indeed returned. Wouldn’t this have required him to use one of the Horcruxes? I therefore think that only three remain. That would be: one, the locket at Grimmauld Place; two, Nagini; and three, an unknown item. Albus has told Harry about Nagini. I think he’ll learn about the locket from Kreacher. That means there’s only one left for him to figure out. What do you all think about this? I really hope you use this on your show. This is something that’s been festering in my mind ever since Half-Blood Prince came out and I don’t recall you ever looking at it from this angle. Thanks, and I look forward to hearing your answer. Mitch.”

Micah, what do you think about all of the Horcruxes? Do you think that there’s only one unknown, or are there two unknowns?

Micah: I mean, I would only bank on the ones that we know 100%, like the diary, the ring, the locket, and then the cup, we know for sure. I don’t see him mentioning that in there at all, did he?

Ben: No, he didn’t.

Andrew: No.

Micah: When he lists them? And I mean, Dumbledore seemed pretty certain, and we had that flashback scene with Hepzibah Smith, so I just think that what he’s trying to get at is maybe there is one that’s already been used that we don’t know about, going back to Goblet of Fire, when he was…

Ben: Well, I think he’s talking about…

Micah: …reborn.

Ben: Yeah, that one. That he had to use that one.

Micah: Because how does he come back to life without latching onto one of his Horcruxes? So, was something used that we don’t know about, that we didn’t pay any attention to?

Eric: Well, would he have had to use another Horcrux to come back to life? I mean, I was under the impression that that was the bit of soul that was, you know, that, without a body for the longest time, was in Quirrell, and then later got, you know, this little, crumpled baby body. The spell, or the potion they brewed with Wormtail involving the bones of the father, blood of a servant, and, you know, hand of a servant given willingly, whatever it was. I just got the impression that that was just, you know, the spell that or the potion that gave him a full corporal body, like, a full – like, that’s what did it. I don’t think there was a Horcrux involved, I think that potion was just strong enough.

Ben: Well, doesn’t – he still has to have a bit of soul, though.

Eric: Like, what do you mean?

Ben: Because, when Harry killed – when the curse rebounded and he got killed that night, that piece of soul was gone, right?

Eric: No, it wasn’t gone.

Ben: So…

Eric: That piece of soul became the Voldemort that was in exile for…

Ben: No, no, how – no, no, no, no.

Eric: … ten, thirteen years.

Ben: No, otherwise, then, Voldemort couldn’t be killed, period.

Kevin: Right. Yeah, Ben is right.

Eric: What do you mean?

Ben: So, he’d have to use, he would have had to use another piece of soul.

Kevin: Yeah, the only reason why he was still alive is because other pieces of soul were holding him to…

Eric: Well, no, the fact that he had six or seven Horcruxes at that time was enough to keep his – the soul that was in his body, alive. I don’t think the soul that was in his body ever died.

Ben: No. Why wouldn’t it?

Eric: Because, that part of Voldemort was the Voldemort that was not in any other Horcrux. That part of Voldemort, you know? Are you saying that, you know, the minute he was killed by the curse rebounding, you know, another piece of Voldemort’s soul popped out of the – Hepzibah Smith’s cup, and just flew around for ten years in Albania?

Ben: What’s so, what’s so out there about that?

Eric: Well, no, I just, I was under the impression that – I mean, that’s it. I was just under the impression that the part in Voldemort’s body was the one that was, you know?

Ben: I just don’t know how he could survive. I mean, if the killing curse can’t destroy him…

Eric: Well, that’s the whole point.

Ben: Right, but the killing curse…

Eric: Why would he even make…

Ben: …the killing curse can’t do it. The only reason he survived was because of the Horcruxes.

Eric: Well, the existence of the Horcruxes. It doesn’t say anything about he had to revert to the Horcruxes to do it.

Ben: Well, then, what point would there be to split your soul?

Eric: Because if you split it in seven equal parts, you have something really cool going for you.

Ben: Yeah, but you have to use those pieces of soul if you die.

Eric: Right, but having the pieces of soul as a backup or something… I mean, we don’t know because Voldemort… We don’t know if he achieved the number seven, we don’t know if having them – because, the whole point, you’ve got to remember, about Horcruxes, about splitting your soul, is to keep them safe and also ensure, like, immortality. So, if you have a certain – I mean, it would, it makes sense both ways, because it just makes sense to me that he didn’t die that night. He lost his body and became this shriveled-up, he doesn’t even know what he was. I mean, if you read the graveyard scene in Book 4, he talks all about this. He was – he was less than nothing, but he was still alive.

Ben: Micah, Micah, Micah.

Eric: He was just without a body.

Ben: What do you think?

Micah: Just going off of what Eric said, I think his soul left his body that night, and it sort of wandered around, but my point with Goblet of Fire was that I thought no spell, no potion, could, sort of, reawaken the dead, but I guess Voldemort wasn’t really dead in that sense.

Eric: No, he wasn’t dead at all.

Micah: I’m just having a hard time believing that the potion was what brought him back to life. I thought in order for him to come back to life, he would need to reattach to one of his Horcruxes.

Eric: He wasn’t dead, and the other thing, too, is the Horcruxes are just pieces of soul. Horcruxes have nothing to do with a body. He needed a body, and somehow, he had gotten that little, you know, baby’s crumpled-up, you know, carcass-type body, but he was still, he was alive at the time when Wormtail put him into the tub. He just needed – I mean, he was alive. He just had a little bit of a body, and he needed a better body, so he turned – you know, he created his body. That’s what that ceremony was for. That potion was for the blood of his – the bones of his father, so that he would get his own gene structure back into it, and then Harry’s, the immunity to Harry’s by using his blood, and then, you know, the thing of a servant. I think that was a dark spell to give him a body, but he was alive. It wasn’t necessarily a thing that brought him back to life; it just gave him a full, male, [pronounces “Ralph Fiennes” three different ways] Ralph-Fiennes body. Sexy body. Ralph Fiennes.

Andrew: I agree with that.

Eric: If you want to go look up Ralph Fiennes, go do that.

Ben: I just don’t see the point in making the Horcruxes would be – if those are the steps that he took to ensure his immortality. So, he would have to have lost a piece of soul that night; otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have made the Horcruxes.

Eric: Well, no. It would, Ben, because if you were to do that again, if you were to try and kill Voldemort as he is now, the existence of the other Horcruxes would keep his soul alive.

Ben: Why?

Eric: Again, you would kill his body, but until you got rid of all the other Horcruxes, of all the little encapsulated pieces of soul…

Ben: But you’d have to use one, though. You’d have to use one of the Horcruxes, then.

Eric: Well, I kind of see what you’re saying, but…

Ben: That piece of soul would no longer – that’s the one that he’s using now, if that makes any sense.

Kevin: I’m guessing that what it is, is that, in order to kill a Horcrux, you have to specifically do something to the Horcrux, so in the case of the spell rebounding on Voldemort, because those steps weren’t taken, that piece of the soul wasn’t destroyed.

Ben: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he wasn’t – once you use the Horcrux – okay, a Horcrux is an inanimate object, okay? It could be my shoe. Okay? There wasn’t a shoe that needed to be destroyed inside Voldemort. Voldemort has already used that Horcrux. You know what I mean?

Kevin: Yeah, but aren’t they…

Ben: He already had a piece of soul in him. You didn’t have to take any steps to destroy the soul. Destroying the soul is itself, but destroying the Horcrux as an inanimate object is different than destroying a human being’s soul. A soul that is actually possessing a person, as opposed to a soul that is possessing my shoe.

Eric: Yeah, I agree with that.

Kevin: Yeah, but I don’t – no, but, no – what I’m saying is that I don’t think that they’re used like you’re thinking. I don’t think it’s like a get out of jail free card you die once, and you…

Eric: You have to throw in the card.

Kevin: Exactly.

Eric: Because then you could just try to kill Voldemort seven times, and…

Kevin: Exactly.

Eric: …and then he would die.

Ben: No, no you wouldn’t. No, because…

Eric: Because every time he died, he would have to use a Horcrux, and there would be none left and he would die.

Ben: But he couldn’t kill him seven times.

Eric: Well you could cast Avada Kedavra in his general direction.

Ben: You’d have to use a Horcrux. You’d have to use a Horcrux. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever. Fans, fans! Write in and agree with me, here, because I don’t think…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I think – I think I’m making sense.

Kevin: Yeah, but I think if you read about Horcruxes, the Horcrux bound him to the earth. That’s the only thing holding him, but they’re not used up when he dies.

Eric: That’s the only thing he did.

Kevin: They’re still there; they’re just holding him there.

Andrew: Are you saying Voldemort has a huge flaw in his plan? Are you saying that if you just killed him seven times, he’d be – he’d die?

Kevin: That’s what Ben is implying. Yeah.

Eric: That’s what Ben – Ben’s trail of logic, yeah.

Ben: No.

Eric: Yeah, if you followed the logic, that’s what happens, because if you use up a Horcrux every time you’re killed, then Voldemort only – somebody has to cast Avada Kedavra and aim very well seven times for him to die, and that’s a little bit easier than going around searching for these Horcruxes about Voldemort’s past and the history of Hogwarts and crap.

Ben: No, but it is not as easy as just killing him seven times, though.

Eric: No, admittedly, but that would be all you’d have to do, so why is Dumbledore sending Harry on this whole find the Horcruxes first thing? So you only have to kill him once or…

Ben: Yeah, absolutely. Why else?

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Well…

Andrew: It would take him much longer to kill him seven times – to find him and kill him seven times, because every time you kill him, he’s going to go off somewhere else, right? And then you’ve got to find him over and over again.

Eric: Dumbledore could barely get through one of, well, two of, I should say, because he got the ring, but the whole cave thing was just protection around one…

Ben: Okay…

Andrew: Horcrux.

Eric: Horcrux.

Ben: Hold on; let’s clarify things here. We’re arguing over whether or not…

Kevin: A Horcrux is used when he dies.

Ben: Okay, a Horcrux is actually – do you use the Horcruxes, or does the Horcruxes just allow him to stay on the earth, basically. Right?

Eric: Yeah. Did Voldemort’s soul – was the part of Voldemort’s soul that was in his body destroyed when he tried to kill Harry, or was it just thrown from his body, his body was destroyed when the house was blown up, and his soul was the soul that was in Albania for 13 years finding Bertha Jorkins and all sorts of stuff. And the soul that came back to Hogwarts in the back of Quirrell’s head.

Andrew: Well, should we just leave it at this and ask the fans what they think?

Ben: Yeah, because I think it’s too tie-all for us.

Andrew: We’ll – I’m sure we’ll get proved wrong.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: I’ll get proved wrong.

Andrew: Ben, you’ll have to worry about it next week. Well, right. That too. So e-mail in your thoughts to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Main Discussion: Does Voldemort Deserve to Die?

Andrew: That concludes this week’s debate, now we’re going to move onto this week’s main discussion this week: Does Voldemort deserve to die? And Ben, you put this one together for us.

Ben: Yeah. Well, see, throughout the books, the thing that Voldemort fears most is death. You hear him talking about, “There’s nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!” and all those things. So…

Andrew: Is that your Voldemort impression?

Ben: Well, I think we’re going to interview Voldemort next week.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: The scariest person on a Harry Potter podcast!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Should Harry Kill Voldemort?

Ben: So, my question is: if Harry is given the opportunity, should he give Voldemort what he fears most? Should he kill Voldemort?

Andrew: Why not? [laughs]

Ben: Well, Dumbledore says, over and over again, tries to remind Tom Riddle, Voldemort, that there are things far worse than death. So, do you think that Voldemort is always going to operate – do you always think that death is his greatest fear, or do you think there will be things that he’ll finally figure out that there are things worse than death?

Andrew: I think he’s lost too much to change his mind and actually go with what Dumbledore would think. I mean, what’s he got to live for at this point? Killing Harry.

Ben: What do you think is worse than death?

Eric: Well, many people – wasn’t it even said on MuggleCast that he should just become a Muggle janitor and clean a bunch of toilets or something?

Micah: [laughs] No, no, no.

Eric: For the rest of eternity?

Micah: I think I said this way back, but I think you look at Harry, and the life that he’s lived, and to him, living that life may be worse than dying, because if he dies, he’s reunited with everyone that he’s really loved: his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore.

Andrew: I would think Harry losing his friends would be worse, to him, than death, because he knows what he has to do. He has to kill Voldemort and he knows what kind of risk he’s taking, but losing Ron or Hermione…

Anything Worse Than Death For Voldemort?

Ben: Right, but is there something worse than death for Voldemort?

Andrew: Hmmm…

Kevin: I would think – I would think he would be implying the condition of Voldemort’s soul in the sense of, you know, when he dies there’s going… Assumably, there’s more than meets the eye, it’s not just death, and what he’s doing on earth at the moment is destroying any chance of him ever, you know, going beyond death.

Ben: Well, I’m not only saying that but, for example, if Voldemort was able – had his magic taken away, would that be worse for him?

Andrew: Hmmm. Yeah.

Eric: He would still be a troublemaker, though is the other thing. I mean, the thing about Voldemort is he is so against dying. Yeah, I’d like to teach him a lesson, say, “Hey, this is actually what’s worse than death, being a Muggle.” But Voldemort’s the kind of person that, as long as he has arms and legs he will, you know, create destruction – that’s an oxymoron. But he will be reckless and restless. He will always – Voldemort’s the kind of person who has to die because if you just turn him into – you know, unless you put him in the middle of a mountain or something for all eternity, you know, he’s going to find a way to get out. He does have to die.

What Would Killing Voldemort Accomplish?

Ben: Well, that’s the thing. What would killing him really accomplish, though?

Eric: No more of him, not even in the most smallest fragment of soul. And…

Andrew: And no more…

Eric: And safety and peace.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Only safety and peace for, you know, the whole wizarding world and Muggle world.

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Ben: But do you really think that’s true, though?

Eric: That’s…

Ben: Do you really think that’s true?

Micah: No, I don’t think that’s true.

Ben: If we – if we…

Micah: I think there’ll always be somebody.

Ben: Yeah. For example, if we killed Osama Bin Laden, wouldn’t there still be hatred towards the U.S.?

Kevin: Yeah, there’s always someone to fill in their spot, yeah.

Eric: No, you’re right, evil will still be – okay, I said safety and peace, not lack of evil. I mean, evil will always be there.

Ben: Well, the safety and peace implies lack of evil.

Eric: Okay, okay, but lack of – Voldemort is the biggest piece of evil we’ve got in the Harry Potter series, so we can assume he’s the worst thing that’s going on in the world right then and there in that reality.

Andrew: When Voldemort thinks that death is the worst thing, is it the worst thing to happen to himself, or is it the worst thing to happen to anyone?

Eric: Well…

Micah: To him.

Eric: To himself, yeah.

Ben: To him especially, but he also tells Dumbledore that there’s nothing worse than death. So…

Andrew: Right. Okay, so…

Micah: That’s what I was going to say, though. Coming from Dumbledore, he believes personally that there are things worse than death, whereas Voldemort may not necessarily see it that way.

Fall of the Death Eaters

Andrew: What do you think would be worse to Voldemort: Death of his Death Eaters or death to himself?

Kevin: Himself, without a doubt. Yeah.

Ben: Himself, absolutely.

Eric: Himself.

Andrew: If he loses his army…

Kevin: He’ll try to start over. I mean…

Eric: No, no, no. Well, remember Dumbledore said – yeah, Dumbledore said Voldemort doesn’t even have an army. I mean, technically he does, but Voldemort operates alone.

Ben: But he operates by fear.

Eric: He always has.

Ben: The only reason those people are with him is because they’ll be killed if they don’t.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, but what I’m saying is, if his Death Eaters are gone, yeah, he’d be hurting a little bit as far as power or limit of power, you know, wrath, but Voldemort operates along anyway. Voldemort does – you know, all of his secret plans and stuff are all his own to begin with. And it wouldn’t be too much – he wouldn’t be unable to function. You’re not going to cripple Voldemort by killing his Death Eaters. You have to go after him.

Kevin: And he doesn’t – he doesn’t put a value in his Death Eaters.

Eric: Yeah, it’s true.

Kevin: I mean, he never truly appreciates them for what they are. So…

Eric: Or trusts them, or likes them, or anything.

Kevin: Exactly, so…

Can Harry Kill Voldemort?

Ben: Something else. Do you think that Harry could actually kill Voldemort? I mean, Harry seems to be a compassionate person; he can’t perform an Unforgivable Curse, he knows that… He knew that – he saw that Voldemort grew up in the orphanage and things like that. And in Half-Blood Prince Dumbledore actually asked Harry, “Are you feeling sorry for Tom Riddle?” because of what happened to him. And you know there is always the emphasis of choices in this series, but Harry seems to know that if he was placed in the same circumstances, you know, could he have made similar choices? So, do you think that he would actually kill Voldemort?

Eric: Well, it’s a good question, Ben, because of the emphasis on choices. And then the whole prophecy thing dictates that he absolutely has no choice, that one has to kill the other. So, kind of like – the whole introduction of the prophecy in Book 5 startled me because of that. It’s like, “Okay, so he doesn’t have a choice,” or does he? Or what? But…

Andrew: But everyone agrees that he intends to right now. As it stands.

Eric: Yeah, he intends to.

Kevin: Yes, yeah.

Andrew: Until he comes face to face, Ben, do you think that’s when he might…

Ben: Yeah, that’s when he might back out, really. I’m not saying he’s a coward.

Eric: I don’t think he’ll back out, though, because… Yeah, but anytime he steps up to Voldemort – if he finds a way into Voldemort’s lair, wherever or whatever that might be, and is actually standing, with all Horcruxes destroyed waiting to kill Voldemort, I really don’t think he’s going to get soft and say, “Oh, you know you’re a nice guy, let’s be friends,” because, I mean, look at how many people – Dumbledore, Sirius – are all dead. His parents, everybody – the whole world is in ruins, billions of people died at the hand of Voldemort. Yeah, Voldemort was what, you know, an orphan. So what? So was Harry. Harry had a bad life, he dealt with it.

Ben: What do you guys think about the series going full circle? Harry comes face-to-face with Voldemort, Voldemort says – Harry says, “I just can’t do this,” turns his back, Voldemort casts a spell, it rebounds again, bam!

Andrew: [laughs] It kills him that time?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Kills himself.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: No, I actually like that idea kind of, like, “You weak pathetic fool!” And then, “Avada Kedavra!” and then he blows it back on himself.

Andrew: But wouldn’t that be a very anticlimactic…

Kevin: Yeah, yeah, it would definitely without… Yeah.

Andrew: If I can even finish saying the word. Climactic. But I think what’s going to drive Harry is his parents and Dumbledore, both…

Eric: And Sirius.

Andrew: And Sirius, yeah.

Eric: And pretty much the whole wizarding…

Micah: Yeah, but Voldemort didn’t kill Sirius and he didn’t kill Dumbledore.

Eric: Voldemort…

Andrew: No, but it was because of Voldemort.

Eric: Yeah, Voldemort planted the image that Sirius was, you know, trapped in the Ministry. Voldemort did it all.

Andrew: It doesn’t matter – right, right. He, yeah, he caused all that…

Micah: I think…

Eric: Voldemort was behind everything. Without Voldemort none of that would’ve happened.

Micah: The bigger question, though is not, “Is Harry going to want to?” But, “Can Harry actually do it?” I don’t think he can cast Avada Kedavra.

Andrew: Why not?

Eric: Okay, but if we’re going to – if we’re going to…

Ben: It takes more…

Andrew: What do you need to cast Avada Kedavra?

Ben: It takes more than sheer hatred, as Bellatrix said.

Eric: Well, it’s not even just hatred…

Ben: You have to want to do it.

Eric: …it’s the helplessness. Harry is helpless because of the loss of all of his people. That – I think if he concentrated on all the people that were killed who were close to him at the hand of Voldemort, he could cast Avada Kedavra. Not only that, but if we’re going to assume that he can actually destroy Voldemort’s Horcruxes, we should – we should believe that he could kill Voldemort.

Andrew: Yeah. So should going through all of that. And maybe…

Ben: Well, that’s different, though. That’s different. Killing – removing the piece of soul from an inanimate object is different than killing a person.

Eric: Yeah, I know, but a lot of inanimate objects have the benefit that Voldemort does not, which is that they can be stowed away in a secret area. Voldemort’s always active, and as a result of that, you always can find him if you look hard enough or for long enough.

Ben: That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it’s a lot different when you kill a person because you’re actually taking a life out of someone.

Andrew: That’s true, but going to find all the Horcruxes is going to take a lot of work, so I mean the whole time he’s searching for those Horcruxes, he’s going to intend to kill Voldemort, and once he gets to that moment, yes, I agree that he might have a hard time looking him – looking Voldemort into the eyes and actually casting Avada Kedavra on him.

Eric: Well, he can’t ever…

Ben: Well, he can’t – he can’t. He has to kill him some other way because of Priori Incantatem.

Kevin: That’s true, that’s true. Yeah.

Eric: We don’t know what’s up with Ollivander, though.

Kevin: Yeah, but what can Ollivander do about that?

Andrew: What does that have to do with anything?

Kevin: Yeah.

Harry’s Blood, The Gleam of Triumph and Life Debts

Micah: You know, we talked last week about the fact that Harry’s blood’s running through Voldemort, do you think that’s going to weaken him in any way?

Kevin: There must…

Micah: Do you think that’s how he can kill him?

Kevin: There has to be something with it. Yeah. I mean, there’s going to be something that – it’s not…

Eric: Well, let’s not forget Pettigrew still owes a life debt to…

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Well, I think – JK Rowling said in the interview with Emerson and Melissa that the – when Dumbledore has the gleam of triumph in his eye, that is enormously significant and we all know that he got the gleam of triumph when Harry told him that Voldemort used his blood. So, that’s definitely… To me, that’s – that’s how he’s going to – it has something to do with that.

Kevin: Something – yeah, it’s pivotal, yeah.

Eric: You kind of get the idea that even though he can touch Harry now – skin-to-skin contact – fandom, fanfic writers everywhere rejoice, but it might actually pack a more powerful punch as a result of that.

Ben: That and…

Eric: Like, “Oh by the way, by the way, heir of Slytherin, you have Gryffindor blood in you,” or something like that. Aaah! [makes explosion noise]

Ben: Or maybe something with love. Well, Harry has love running through his veins, right?

Eric: Oh yeah. Well the fact that – that’s a good point, Ben, because Harry’s so receptive of love. Harry’s blood should act like acid in Voldemort’s veins, but it didn’t so far, so I don’t know.

Ben: I don’t know. The way it’s set up, it seems like Harry’s just going to say “I love you,” to Voldemort and he’s going to…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: He’s going to collapse. “Nooo, I cannot be loved!” [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Wouldn’t that be weird, though? If like, if he like…

Ben: Sent him a valentine?

Andrew: No, not just that, but he found a way to give Vol – this is going to sound weird. It’s – found a way to give Voldemort love and that just, that just killed him. [laughs]

Eric: [sings] Give me some lovin’.

Ben: Eric’s right. [laughs] Fanfic writers everywhere do rejoice. [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Death Eaters and Harry the Martyr?

Ben: Oh, something else I think we need to talk about is do you think, if Voldemort gets killed, okay? By Harry. Would that make him a martyr of his people?

Eric: In the Death Eaters’ eyes maybe.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: A martyr…

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: Ohhh.

Ben: Would they rally around it?

Kevin: No, I don’t think so. I think… I think he’s… And he’s holding them together.

Eric: Nobody’s as cruel and as evil at this point. They’re just followers.

Kevin: I mean, without him they’re nothing. So, once…

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, they’re just followers. There’s no leaders.

Kevin: Right, so once he gets knocked off, they’re going to fall apart.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, Kevin’s right. I mean, people like Bellatrix, whereas they might posses some leadership skills, they’re not currently in themselves powerful enough to get away from the ministry and any powerful witch or wizard actually. Voldemort was the big lapse jump in power, just as Dumbledore was for the good people and…

Andrew: But the good people are still able to manage. The Death Eaters, I really think, Harry’s going to have to live with that. Once he kills Voldemort, he’s going to have to always have that breathing down his back. The fact that the Death Eaters could possibly regroup and kill him. You think…

Eric: Well, that’s why – that’s why he wanted to be an Auror. So that he could continue fighting dark wizards because that’s kind of his thing. I mean, he obviously had to see himself doing that after Voldemort, it oppose of Voldemort’s situation, because otherwise he wouldn’t be going after Death Eaters, he’d be going after Voldemort, the big cheese, himself.

Andrew: Do you think that would change his mind on becoming one? Like, say, once he kills Voldemort, he’s really going to want to – I think we talked about this on the show already.

Ben: I think he’s going to write a book, and then…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [laughs] Write a book and then…

Andrew: Harry Potter’s What Will Happen in the Future…

Eric: What Has Happened in the First… [laughs]

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: Who lived, Who died…

Andrew: Harry Potter: A Memoir It’ll be on Oprah’s book club. It’ll be huge.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, I personally think the Death Eaters could regroup and attempt to kill Harry, attempt to kill close – close friends of Harry’s…

Ben: Thing is, they fell apart last time, though.

Andrew: …just to get him back.

Ben: They fell apart the time before.

Eric: They did. The time before they fell apart. Some of them were in jail, some of them were like, “Oh, I was cursed.”

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing…

Eric: Very few of them managed. Well, Lucius Malfoy. Very few managed to actually keep any strands of any social life at all. And the thing is, too, if you were to look at…

Andrew: Even Draco. I mean, Draco’s…

Eric: Oh yeah. Well, Draco.

Andrew: …got his own group of mini Death Eaters with Crabbe and Goyle. [laughs] So…

Eric: It’s true.

Andrew: Well…

Eric: It’s true. If they really – if they really were determined enough, but I think that’s the – that’s the mindset of the follower. The Death Eaters are followers, they’re not leaders, as I just said. Now, that’s what the Nazi – that’s where the Nazism comes in because you’ve got to understand, Voldemort begrudged these people. He uses fear to control them into getting them to be Death Eaters. So, he might say…

Andrew: Draco could, too.

Eric: Yeah, yeah. So this person might hate Muggles for no reason. I mean, Voldemort’s just directing all their anger and fears. There’s nothing genuine about their anger and fears. I mean, there might be a little bit, but not enough to actually make them. Like Voldemort’s the evil one. Nobody else is that genuinely evil except maybe Bellatrix because she’s crazy. But like, so, I don’t think they’d stay together enough to form some kind of faction that would be anything worthwhile to give anybody and trouble, because none of them are Voldemort.

Micah: But who’s to say these people…

Eric: …or anything close.

Micah: …aren’t going to die themselves?

Andrew: That’s true. I think a few of them will die in the book.

Eric: Oh what? Death Eaters or bigwigs?

Micah: Everyone’s always talking about, “Oh, this character…”

Andrew: Oh, the bigwigs, too.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Say the – like if, say Bellatrix dies, say – who else? Say Pettigrew dies, not that he would be able to recruit…

Micah: Lucius is going down.

Andrew: Yeah, and Draco. Hopefully at the same time. Okay, well, should we… So, I mean, did this stem from “Does Voldemort deserve to die?”

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay. Should we make that the poll on the site this week?

Ben: It’s already on MuggleNet, I think.

Andrew: Is it? Oh. Well, let’s look at the results. Currently on MuggleNet, 48% of the people answering the question should Voldemort die respond, “Yes, because to him, there is nothing worse than death.” 20% say, “No, because Dumbledore says there ARE worse things than death, make him clean toilets as a Muggle janitor!”

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, Emerson! And then 31% say, “I don’t know, but whatever happens to him, he’d better be miserable!”

Eric: That’s where the Muggle janitor thing came in.

Andrew: Interesting. So, vote on the poll, and if these results are very skewed next week, we’ll know it was because of our discussion.

Rowling’s Quotes About Book 7: Umbridge

Andrew: [clears throat] Moving along now, last week, we talked about some things that J.K. Rowling has said concerning the seventh book, and now, we have a few more for everyone. We are going to start off with one that was in the Emerson and Melissa interview back from July of 2005. Melissa asked Jo, “Are we going to see more of Umbridge?” And Jo nods. Oh, Jo nods, and then Melissa says, “You say that with an evil nod.” And Jo says, “Yeah, it’s just too much fun to torture her not to have another little bit more before I finish.” So, what do you guys think could happen in Book 7 with Umbridge? Maybe she’s going to perhaps try to get involved or get in the way of what Harry’s trying to do again, and Harry’s just going to completely cast some nasty spell on her? Any ideas?

Micah: I don’t think she’ll try and hinder Harry, especially because the Ministry has sort of changed their view towards him.

Eric: They’ve had to because she’s been…

Micah: At least in Half-Blood Prince.

Eric: I think the Ministry changes their view…

Micah: Yeah, but…

Eric: …you know, not Umbridge.

Micah: Jo says she wants to have a little bit more fun torturing her. So, does that mean that Umbridge is going to try to do some things?

Andrew: That’s what I was…

Micah: … but not be successful?

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: And end up in the Forest again?

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: That’s maybe not so much the Forest, but I was thinking that maybe she would just try to intervene because what else is going to get her tortured? [laughs]

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Because she says not to have a little…

Eric: Well, I would like to see Umbridge held accountable for sending the Death Eaters in the first place, because that was just a mean bit of nastiness.

Micah: Dementors.

Eric: Not – what did I say?

Micah: Not Death Eaters.

Eric: Oh, dementors. I’m – slipping with the Ds. I apologize.

Micah: Yeah. Why didn’t she get in trouble for that? That’s a pretty big deal.

Eric: Nobody knows. The only people who knew were in that room when she admitted to that, and they’re all students, and nobody would – did…

Andrew: The Ministry was probably trying to hide it.

Eric: Did… Yeah. And Harry probably wouldn’t have said that in his interview, either, with Rita about how it was Umbridge who sent the dementors. So, I guess nobody knows, but I would like to see her held accountable for that, because that was just absolutely insane. Who holds a grudge that much? I mean she’s like, “All the other Ministry people were doing nothing about it, but I did something!” So, she acted of her own accord, and she was just going crazy. I don’t think it’s unlikely she’ll get herself in trouble again.

Micah: Could she be evil, though?

Kevin: I don’t see her joining the…

Micah: Could she join the Death Eaters?

Kevin: … Death Eaters, myself. I think she’s too full of herself to…

Eric: Yeah. She’s just…

Kevin: Yeah.

Eric: Little bit of a dictator-type thing.

Rowling’s Quotes About Book 7: Romantic

Andrew: Another part of the J.K. Rowling interview, Jo says, “There’s a theory. This applies to detective novels and Harry, which is not really a detective novel, but it feels like one at times, that you should not have romantic intrigue in a detective book. Dorothy L. Sayres, who is the queen of the genre said, and then broke her own rule, when she said that there is no place for romance in a detective story except that it can be useful to camouflage other people’s motives. That’s true. It is a very useful trick. I’ve used that on Percy, and I’ve used that to a degree on Tonks in this book as a red herring. But having said that, I disagree inasmuch as mine are very character-driven books, and it’s so important, therefore, that we see these characters fall in love, which is a necessary part of life.” So, Micah, what do you make of this?

Micah: That Harry Potter isn’t James Bond, so we don’t have to worry about some woman who’s trying to deceive him? I mean, I think that’s what she was trying to say, and she’s used sort of relationships in the series as she has seen fit. And they’re not going to play a big part in the seventh book. They were there for Book 6, and it was a part of maturity, I think.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: And that’s all I’ve got to say. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, you’re writing about people. You should write about how they interact. It is a character-driven book, what Jo said about – it’s important to see these characters fall in love as a necessary part of life and stuff, but yeah, I think Micah’s right in thinking that Book 6 was the major hub of it. Everybody’s going to have to celebrate after Voldemort is dead, maybe with Harry, maybe without Harry, you know – whatever, but beyond that. There is Bill and Fleur’s wedding, though.

Andrew: I was just going to say, you’re going to have the ultimate romance in Book 7. [laughs]

Eric: It’s true. It’s true, it’s true. You’re going to get people will love, people will fall, people will murder, people will – might be crazy. You’re right.

Micah: But I think…

Andrew: And who’s going to catch the flower bouquet? You know what I’m saying?

[Micah laughs]

Eric: Didn’t you write about that in’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter Book 7?

Andrew: No, we don’t write about that in…

Eric: Maybe you should write a sequel.

Andrew: …’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter Book 7.

Eric: You could do a sequel: Who Will Catch the Bouquet?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughing] Who Lives, Who Dies, and Who Will Catch the Bouquet?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Ben! Ben, get on that! I want 25% for the title.

Ben: Yeah, right. I’m all over that. I’m all over that.

Andrew: [laughs and sighs] Oh, that’s good. That’s good. Any other ideas?

[Eric sighs]

Andrew: Kevin, you got any speculation? How much romance there’s going to be in Book 7?

[Eric sighs again]

Andrew: Does anyone really care?

Micah: No!

Kevin: I don’t think it’s the main focus of the book. Yeah, it’s like move on.

Eric: Next!

Rowling’s Quotes About Book 7: Snape, Lily and Love

Andrew: [laughs] All right! There’s another interview with JKR, and someone asked her, “One of our internet correspondents wondered if Snape is going to fall in love.” And J.K. Rowling says, “Yeah? Who on earth would want Snape in love with them? This is a very horrible idea.”[Andrew audibly cringes] And then, the person who is asking the question responds, “But you’ve given an important kind of redemptive pattern to Snape.” And J.K. Rowling says, “It is, isn’t it? There’s so much I wish I could say to you, and I can’t, because it would ruin – I promise you: whoever asked that question, can I just say to you that I’m slightly stunned that you’ve said that, erm, [Andrew laughs] and you’ll find out why I’m so stunned if you read Book 7, and that’s all I’m going to say.” That is very interesting to me, and this was back in 1999. It’s all these early quotes that have the most interesting information, if you ask me. So, it leads me to think that she just wasn’t as secret – I mean if someone asked her that question now, what would she respond? I don’t think she would say, “Look for it. You’ll find out in Book 7 why you just brought up Snape falling in love, or someone falling in love with Snape.”

Eric: Well, the thing is too, there’s more to that, here. I think, isn’t it? It looks like it’s continuous, the following I think we have in the schedule about JKR. Because, she says, in Book 3, “You’re absolutely right. You find out a lot about Harry’s father. Now, the important thing about Harry’s mother-the really, really significant thing-you’re going to find out in two parts. You’ll find out a lot more about her in Book 5, where you’ll find something very significant about her in Book 5. And you’ll find something incredibly important about her in Book 7. But, I can’t tell you what those things are. I’m sorry, but yes, you will find out more about her because both of them are very important in what Harry ends up having to do.” End quote. That worries me. No, I think it blends and it worries me because of the Harry-of the Snape/ Lily love thing–triangle.

Kevin: Why does that worry you?

Eric: Because about it being cannon. There’s like, if Snape wasn’t-because like, Lily, where on one hand she thought Snape – it makes me uncomfortable because of what we found out about James…

Micah: Yeah, I think they’re separate, but that’s okay.

Eric: …in Book 5, to Snape and being very arrogant and worried Harry. Like, all that stuff was there for a reason but we don’t know. I just don’t know what it means. What can possibly be coming about Lily? That she loved Snape or that she had a relationship or what’s…?

Micah: Did we just skip over the Snape thing?

Andrew: No, Eric thought this was a continuation.

Eric: This is about Snape falling in love. The other one was about Snape falling in love.

Micah: Oh, okay.

Eric: So…

Micah: Well, no. I think the other thing that he added that’s important was that he was wondering, would you kind of get a redemptive pattern to Snape and then J.K. Rowling says – what did she say? Sorry. She said she was “stunned that he said that and that you find out why in Book 7.” Now if she’s “stunned” in a way that she couldn’t believe he actually said that – that it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard?

Eric: No.

Micah: Or, if she’s “stunned” because he may actually be right and Snape will be redeemed in Book 7?

Eric: Well, I don’t think it was about the redemption, but she did say “slightly stunned” you’ve said that. But yeah, one of them you’re absolutely right. You find out a lot about… I don’t know. Who would want Snape in love with them – that’s a horrible idea. And then, when he says about the redemptive pattern, she says, “whoever asked that question, I’m slightly stunned. You find out why if you read Book 7.” So, it’s like, “was Snape in love” is really the question he asked. The redemptive pattern was just what he used to justify if Snape is going to fall in love or if somebody is going to be in love with Snape.

Micah: Well, my thing was, is she “stunned” because he’s correct…

Eric: Or stunned because it’s absolutely…

Micah: Or, is she “stunned” because she knows that he’s evil and there’s no way that he could ever have any type of relationship or be redeemed in any way?

Ben: It depends how close he was.

Eric: Yeah, because the misdemeanor in which J.K. answers all of her questions – she doesn’t call, she doesn’t consider any question to be stupid. She might say, “Yeah, you know, I don’t really think that character’s kind of really like that” or anything like that. But she wouldn’t say, “Oh my God, in love with Snape? Let me go gag! Oh, my gosh.” She suggested Snape would be in – you know? Because that would be an insult to the person who asked the question.

Andrew: So, you guys are thinking that in Book 7, it’s going to come out that Snape was in love with Lily? Or perhaps visa versa? Because, when I read this, what I immediately assumed was that Snape was going to fall in love in Book 7.

Eric: Who?

Andrew: I don’t know. But…

Eric: Maybe with Harry?

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Andrew: Back in 1999, Jo was set on the fact that we were going to find out something about – is – we were going to find out about love involving Snape in Book 7. So, it must be a big part of the plot, right? If you’re going to know seven years beforehand this is going to be in Book 7?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s not a little fact that you could throw in at a later point, so, with that said, I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like there is room in Book 7 for Snape to fall in love and it certainly doesn’t seem like there’s anyone to fall in love with. Ahhh…Umbridge? [laughs]

Micah: I think if he was in love [laughs] previously, it was definitely a one-way thing.

Eric: Awww.

Andrew: You never know, Micah. There’s someone out there for everyone. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Eric: There is someone out there for everyone.

Andrew: You know, Ben, love is really not an easy thing.

Ben: The only baggage you can bring…

Andrew: Yep. [laughs]

Ben: It’s all that you can’t leave behind.

Micah: But, what about the Lily thing, though? I don’t remember ever learning anything about her in Book 5.

Ben: Jo guaranteed it’s going to be obvious.

Eric: Well, the only time we saw her in Book 5 was in the past. If I remember correctly, the only time we heard about Lily was in the past when she – when we found out that she really hated James or hated how, hated James picking on Snape.

Micah: Oh, that’s true.

Eric: I mean, that’s what we really found out.

Micah: So, you’re saying the big thing could be that she had a soft spot for him?

Eric: Well, not necessarily a soft spot, but that she didn’t like James enough so that Harry was forced to risk going into the fire to ask Lupin and Sirius about it, because she really was very upset with him. I actually have a fan art depiction by a woman named Vee of this, sitting next to me in a frame about Lily coming up to James with this utmost look of revulsion and because of what he just did to Snape. So, I mean that’s what we found out about – I mean, that’s the only time I remember about Lily in Book 5. In Book 6…

Micah: But how can that… How does that relate to what Harry is going to end up having to do, which is what she…

Eric: Well, I don’t know. That’s the question, I mean. But she said you find out about Lily in two parts. One in Book 5 and one in Book 7. But, I was under the impression that she also said that we find out about her in Book 6 and everybody was questioning, “Well, was she just good at Potions? I mean, what have we learned in Book 6 either?” This whole Lily thing is amazingly…

Ben: Confusing. [laughs]

Eric: …subtle. And confusing. It’s bad.

Andrew: So, I mean, it could either… Do you think it could involve – it’s either going to involve Lily’s eyes or Snape.

Eric: And the Lily’s eyes thing we don’t know what that has to do with it either.

Andrew: Well, that’s what I’m saying. So, maybe that could be the big revelation. I think that has more significance than her being in love with Snape, unless…

Eric: Probably true.

Andrew: …maybe he played a role in Godric’s Hollow or something. I don’t know.

Ben: Well, Snape… Some people say that’s why they’re… Snape begged Voldemort to pardon Lily because he was in love with her.

Andrew: Ah, right, right. Didn’t someone…

Eric: Right, there is that possibility.

Rowling’s Quotes About Book 7: Alfonso and The Graveyard

Andrew: Hmmm. Actually, yeah. Okay, and one last thing we’re going to talk about here – something Alfonso Cuaron, director of the Prisoner of Azkaban film said, “We needed a place where the kids could see the execution of Buckbeak and we thought about having a graveyard and we consulted Jo about it and she said, ‘No, the graveyard is not there.’ And I said, ‘Why?’ And then she gave me the whole explanation of why the graveyard cannot be there because it’s in a different place of the castle. Because it’s going to play…and she knows her thing. She knows exactly what’s going to happen later.” So, I don’t know. I mean, Book 4 came out – that was 2001, right? Yeah. Okay, so that doesn’t have anything to do with it.

Ben: Book 4 came out in 2000, actually.

Andrew: Book 4 came out in 2003. Oh, no… Yeah, Book 4…

Eric: 2000.

Andrew: 2000. Sorry.

Eric: So, the point is not – It’s actually subtle here because it’s to be confused. See, Book 4 was already out, so Alfonso wouldn’t have wasted his concern if he didn‘t – I mean, he already knew about the fact that something happens in a graveyard, but he is talking specifically about a graveyard in the castle.

Andrew: On Hogwarts grounds, right.

Eric: On Hogwarts grounds, right. So he said that she said that the graveyard is somewhere else in the castle.

Andrew: Did she say that in so many words?

Eric: Well, I don’t know. This could be Alfonso’s take on it…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …but because it’s in a different place in the castle, that’s why this quote is – I just can’t believe that he wanted to put a freaking graveyard…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: To kill Buckbeak. It’s bad enough that he arranged the whole movie differently and cuts out the major subplots. He wants to keep Buckbeak in a graveyard?

Andrew: Well, he is a very creative person, Eric.

Eric: He died in the pumpkin patch in the back of Hagrid’s house.

Andrew: He wants to be different.

Eric: How can you change that?

Andrew: He wants to be different.

Eric: “Let’s make a graveyard here. Maybe some more shrunken heads can be on the tombstones.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I apologize. I am going to control myself. I said I have refined my views.

Andrew: He wanted it to be a different view. I don’t know if it’s that New Zealand air getting to you, or what, but take it easy.

Eric: You know, I got to say that New Zealand air is very, very clean.

Andrew: Is it?

Eric: I can breathe. I’m breathing and it’s just…

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: As opposed to not breathing.

Ben: Not breathing. Yeah.

Eric: No, it’s true. Everybody I tell that to I say, “Okay, it’s not smoggy in Pennsylvania. It’s just a matter…”

Micah: Try New York.

Eric: Try New York, yeah.

Andrew: Can you scoop me a bottle of the air and mail it back here and I’ll breathe it in?

Eric: Yeah, you want me to?

Andrew: Yeah. Seriously.

Eric: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: Do you think maybe it connects something to do with Dumbledore’s burial?

Eric: That’s what I thought. That’s the connection I made because we saw the funeral at the end of Book 6, but we don’t know. I was under the – Dumbledore’s tomb was not in the graveyard at the funeral. Like the whole sarcophagus.

Andrew: Well, we had that whole discussion, but we came to the conclusion that it was there.

Eric: That it was a graveyard?

Andrew: No, that his tomb was actually there. Weren’t we talking about Dumbledore not actually being in the tomb? Never mind. Go ahead, Micah.

Micah: No, I was going to say, could the founders be buried there somewhere?

Eric: That’s what I’m wondering.

Andrew: There’s got to be some place of remembrance.

Micah: For past headmasters.

Eric: Yeah, because it is not like no past headmaster had a body to bury.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: I mean that is what is questionable because it is not like at Dumbledore’s funeral, it’s not saying it’s in this graveyard where all the other people were buried. Where Dumbledore’s tomb was at his funeral was out on grounds that were open enough for all the people to come and see and to sit and have room. So, I am wondering if Dumbledore’s tomb will be moved from wherever it was at rest for his funeral to the graveyard. This presumable alleged graveyard on the school grounds.

Andrew: But this also means that we are going to have to see it too.

Eric: Right.

Andrew: So…

Eric: So, is Harry going back to Hogwarts?

Andrew: Ohhh.

Eric: To see the graveyard maybe

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Then again we’re trusting what Alfonso said. He could have been paraphrasing what Jo was actually saying. So…

Eric: It’s true. He could have gotten an incorrect impression.

Ben: No, but it wouldn’t have went on the DVD if J.K. Rowling didn’t want it to. I’m sure she reviewed it.

Eric: I don’t know. Maybe. You know what I think would be cool, if to find Ravenclaw’s Horcrux you got to follow a complex series of clues based on the graveyard and tombstones and the shapes of things, but that’s a little Da Vinci Code, I guess.

Andrew: Okay, I think that wraps up that discussion. Maybe we’ll get some more quotes next week. We’ll do a three-part series. That sounds like fun, right? Right?

Eric: Oooh, three parts. Yay.

Listener Rebuttal: JKR’s Dream

Andrew: We have a few more e-mails now. The first one is from Lana, 14 of Nebraska. She writes:

“Hey guys and Laura. In J.K. Rowling’s dream about Harry Potter, she said she slash Harry was trying to find a Horcrux in a long hall that wasn’t the Great Hall. Do you think this could have been in the hall in the orphanage Voldemort grew up in or in the old Riddle House where Tom Riddle Senior lived? I love the show. Laura and Micah, you guys are my favorites, but I love you all!”

P.S. Andrew, you’re the best. You’re better than Laura and Micah. [laughs]

Ben: Oh, yeah, minus the P.S.

Micah: I don’t see that there.

Andrew: Well, it was in a separate e-mail to me.

Micah: Oh, okay.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: So, I don’t know. I think when J.K. Rowling is having these dreams – when you dream, don’t you mash your thoughts together?

Micah: Yeah, we talked about this.

Eric: Yeah, she could have…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: She could have been upset about – I don’t know, the paperboy could have thrown and broken a window or something, and that could have affected the dream.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: No, I’m serious.

Andrew: I know what you’re saying.

Andrew: Because she is talking about lots of windows.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, god. What are you saying?

Eric: Do we even know – I mean, I want to trust JK on this, but who has dreams like this? Honestly, she made this big deal that she was actually having dreams and was talking about how…

Andrew: Because it was her first dream about involving Harry.

Eric: “Wow, it must really be affecting me.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: But that’s so weird. Why would she be having a dream? I almost don’t want to trust that she had this dream because it is so weird about Horcruxes and…

Andrew: Well, she is not making it up.

Eric: There is no way we can possibly analyze it because… Yeah, but she knows – she not only knows what Horcruxes are used for and all about them, but what they could have been used for as well. Like, when she was trying to decide what was going to happen. So she has got so many, I want to say, alternate Harry Potter realities in her mind just from what she could have done or was going to do originally and didn’t that how do we even judge how that relates to anything? I mean, she put it on her site so it’s got to be…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’s just a way of…

Micah: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. It’s on the site and she is very selective about what she tells the fans. So, I doubt it’s just something that’s irrelevant.

Listener Rebuttal: Gleam of Triumph

Andrew: We have another email now. Tricia, 20, of Canada. North Bay, Ontario, Canada. She writes:

“I just wanted to add something to your segment on Dumbledore’s ‘gleam of triumph’ from the 73rd MuggleCast. I think the reason Dumbledore had a ‘gleam of triumph’ is because he knows that Harry’s blood will make Voldemort continuously weaker. Think about it. Harry has so much love running through his veins, and Voldemort can’t have that. Even when he possessed Harry for a minute at the Ministry, it caused him pain for that short period of time. Don’t you think that having Harry’s blood in his veins would continuously make him weaker? In my opinion, that’s why Dumbledore had a ‘gleam of triumph.’ Harry has already made it easier to defeat Voldemort and it’s all his fault. Thanks for doing the podcasts. I love them.”

I like that, Tricia.

Eric: We just said that on this episode, too. We came to that conclusion about Harry’s blood being acid to Voldemort’s veins. But the concern is that it hasn’t hurt him so far. But the fact is, the whole blood-of-the-enemy thing, Voldemort did that so that he could touch Harry’s skin, but, again, it hasn’t really – it could have a bad side to it.

Kevin: We are fairly sure that it’s going to make him weaker in some way. It’s a decent theory, it’s just, it’s such, you know. You can come up with any number of…

Ben: There are so many possibilities.

Kevin: …explanations to how it’s going to make him weaker. You know?

Eric: It’s kind of funny, though. There were already a little bit of similarities between Harry and Voldemort and then Voldemort had to go and make that other one – like make another one – forge another one. Wasn’t really a smart idea. That just kind of fits Voldemort’s personality.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: …making him able to touch Harry so he could do physical harm to him, not thinking of the repercussions of what his soul or body might feel.

Micah: Yeah, I agree.

Listener Rebuttal: More Gleam of Triumph

Andrew: Caitlin, 15, of Philadelphia has another idea about the “gleam of triumph.” She writes:

“After hearing your discussion about the gleam in Dumbledore’s eyes, I started thinking about life debts. Harry, in a way, saved Voldemort’s life when his blood was used to restore him to his previous self. Could the “gleam of triumph” be because now Voldemort is indebted to Harry?”

That’s a good idea too.

Kevin: I don’t think that. I don’t think so.

Andrew: Why not, Kevin?

Kevin: Because he didn’t really save his life.

Andrew: He sort of did. He needed Harry’s blood.

Kevin: He created a body for him, but he didn’t save his life by any means.

Eric: It was voluntary.

Micah: He didn’t willingly do it. I think that’s something… He willingly saved Pettigrew. He didn’t willingly offer his blood to Voldemort.

Kevin: Right. That’s another thing as well, yep.

Eric: But that’s what we were saying. If the blood has other problems that are going to cause problems for Voldemort, then you don’t need a life debt.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I think it is. I don’t think it’s a debt though. I don’t think, you know…

Eric: It’s not a life debt because Harry didn’t willingly say, “Okay, here. Have this. I know just the ingredient that will make this recipe perfecto.”

Listener Rebuttal: Brother Wands

Andrew: Aleyna Bryant, 19, of Knoxville, Tennessee, writes about Voldemort and the “brother wands” question that Laura brought up last week.

“Laura was asking why ‘brother wands’ can’t fight each other and what might happen now that Voldemort has Harry’s blood running through his veins in MuggleCast 73. Maybe, since Voldemort is alive because of Harry’s life-giving blood running through his veins, Voldemort cannot kill Harry without killing himself? If Harry dies, could the blood in Voldemort’s veins die as well, and kill Voldemort in the process?”

Well, if you’re thinking realistically, like, if someone donates blood and then they die, [laughs] the person who received the blood isn’t dead.

Eric: Depends… What did… What did Harry’s blood… What’s interesting…

Andrew: What does Harry’s blood have in it?

Eric: What does Harry’s blood have in it, or does Voldemort have Harry’s specific blood? Like, does Voldemort have Harry’s DNA in him?

Andrew: Type H?

Kevin: He has all the genetics abnormalities.

Eric: Yeah, all the genetic connotations and abnormalities. But if Harry’s O Negative, is Voldemort now O Negative? Or if Voldemort cuts himself, falling onto a skylight breaking into a house, will Harry get framed for it? You know, exactly how close is their blood? I mean… Does it have something where if Harry dies Voldemort is going to die? I think that’s cool.

Andrew: Do witches and wizards have a completely different blood?

Eric: No, they’re humans. I mean…

Kevin: Yeah, they are human.

Andrew: They are human, but why is it a problem if say, Harry was Type A and Voldemort was Type O Positive or whatever?

Kevin: Because it’s magic.

Andrew: Well, exactly. So I am saying.

Eric: The things many people do, is many of these series, even with the Underworld series…

Andrew: Actually…

Eric: …there’s a magic gene or something like that, that some people have. But what we’ve found out is that things with Squibs and other things like that, there’s no way to predict it.

Andrew: Now that I think about it though, have you guys donated blood before? I told this story on the show before.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: I couldn’t because I went to England. There’s actually a spot that says if you’re a wizard or witch you couldn’t donate either.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: That might explain it.

Ben: That’s part of the exclusion criteria.

Andrew: Yes. Exactly.

Micah: But actually, going off what you said, that’s kind of the question in comparing it to us. Like, if I donated blood, or somebody donates blood and they die, does that mean the person they gave the blood to is going to die? You know what I mean?

Eric: Oh well, obviously not.

Kevin: Yeah, but I think that the reason why they’re creating this scenario is that it’s not as easy as just you giving blood to someone, because his body was created out of that blood. So, is that body now bringing on traits of Harry, essentially?

Micah: I don’t know.

Andrew: It’s a good question.

Eric: Which…

Kevin: It sort of makes sense because…

Andrew: One of Harry’s traits is to love he inherited from his mother isn’t it? So, and Voldemort’s never showed any signs of love.

Kevin: But does the body love or does the soul love?

Ben: Love.

Andrew: I think every body loves. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [sings] Everybody loves somebody sometimes!

Kevin: Oh, boy.

Crackpot Theory of the Week: Filch is a Spy

Andrew: Hey, Eric, I got a crackpot theory for you this week.

Eric: Oh, great!

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: I’ve been wanting one of these. What’s up?

Andrew: This comes from Mable, 16, of Sydney.

Eric: [sings] Hello, Mable. If you’re able.”

Andrew: She says:

“Although I think this is completely insane, it’d be cool to hear Eric defending this.”

Okay, are you ready for your crackpot theory of the week?

Eric: I am.

Andrew: “Argus Filch is a spy in Hogwarts.”


Eric: In Hogwarts, what? A spy in Hogwarts?

Andrew: Argus Filch is a spy in Hogwarts. Stop wasting time. Go.

Eric: No. Okay, you said he’s a spy on Hogwarts. I thought you were saying…

Andrew: In Hogwarts.

Eric: In Hogwarts?

Andrew: Yes.

Kevin: In Hogwarts.

Eric: For who?

Andrew: Well, for..

Eric: Or just a spy in Hogwarts?

Kevin: Yes.

Andrew: Yeah, just a spy. Just a spy. In Hogwarts. [laughs]

Eric: He’s a spy.

Kevin: Assuming for Voldemort.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: Because a spy wouldn’t be spying for themselves.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Well, I think Argus would – he has Mrs. Norris who’s stationed all over the school. If somebody does something, either Mrs. Norris or Filch knows about it. This isn’t just about trouble makers, but Filch seems to always want to know what’s going on, whether it be with the Weasley twins are doing for mischief, but I really don’t know. He’s got some really crazy practices about dungeons and hanging kids by shackles and stuff, but my main concern is that he does know all of the Hogwarts passageways except for a few that might be on the Marauder’s Map or Fred and George might have known. But he knows all the passage ways, he can get from any point in the castle to another, and he can pretty much see what’s going on, only second to Dumbledore I would say, in the castle. He put himself in the position as caretaker of the castle to know all that information. So, it’s actually quite difficult if Voldemort were to want to, say, “Okay, what’s the best way to get into the trophy room?” you know, Filch could probably lead him there, or lead anybody there.

Andrew: She actually proved a couple points on Snape being a spy and also Mrs. Figg being a spy. Her arguments were:

1. Filch, like Mrs. Figg, is a Squib and, like Figg was looking over Harry, could be looking after Draco.

2. Filch is somewhat friendly with Snape and if Snape is evil, this would fit perfectly.
3. Besides the Weasley twins, he knows the school better than anyone else.
4. Figg has cats, as does Filch, so maybe there’s some sort of connection there.

Hmmm, good, Eric. Well..

Eric: Yeah. Squibs and cats. I guess the cats are kind of their connection to the magical world, too, because cats are kind of magical.

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Ben: Let’s wrap this week up with a Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul.

“Hey, MuggleCasters. I’ve got a chronic lung condition that makes it very difficult to breathe and I spend a lot of time in and out of the hospital. Up until last year, my time there was spent going crazy with nothing to do. Luckily, I discovered MuggleCast and that’s all changed. I listen to every show over and over again while I’m in the hospital, and time seems to fly. You are all so hilarious. My nurses are so confused when they come to draw blood and I’m cracking up. You guys can make me laugh even when I can barely breathe. I was in the hospital again this week, and you guys made it so much better. Thanks so much for improving my quality of my life. I love MuggleCast. Annie from Chicago.”

Andrew: Thank you, Annie, so much. That was very kind of you. We’ve been getting a lot of Chicken Soups lately from people all over the world, and we enjoy reading them and we usually pick one a week here. So, if you’re interested, if you’d like to submit your Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul; how MuggleCast has affected, improved, ruined, destroyed your life…

Ben: Changed your life.

Andrew: Changed your life, yeah. [laughs] Email us: mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Ben’s PO Box Update

Andrew: We’re going to wrap up today’s show with a PO Box update from Ben Schoen.

Ben: Okay, folks. Something interesting, MuggleCast is now a member of PETA.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Someone signed us up and I got a little membership thing in the PO Box. For those of you who don’t know, PETA is the pet liberation organization and animal rights activists. So, we got a bunch of stickers also. They say: “Speciesism sucks.”

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: And then, these say, “Pigs are friends, not food.” And it has a picture of a pig on it; so cute. And these last ones say, “Cut class, not frogs. Don’t dissect.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And it has a picture of a frog, so I thought that was kind of funny. So, yeah, email in if you signed us up for PETA because that’s awesome.

Okay, thanks to Katie Schneider who wrote us a nice little letter and included a big, another box of books. If you remember a few months ago she sent us a big box of books and now she sent another one for Christmas. So thanks to Katie. Katie is from Maryland. So, thank you for sending those in.

I got a card here from – who is this from? Sunny Christian, who sent in a Quiznos gift card for me.

Let’s see here. Oh, we have a big stack of Christmas cards. I’ll be getting those out to the rest of the MuggleCasters this week. Kacie Farrell sent one for each of us. Jay Myers, Jessica and Simone Stock, Judy Chapin, Jay Ritter, someone from Canada, Proma Costla, Alisha Brockmeyer, Megan Townsend. And one – I came across a postcard in a stack of mail from someone clear from the Czech Republic which I think is pretty neat.

Andrew: Wow.

Ben: It says,


Ahoy. I don’t know how to say it.

“Ahoy from [mispronounces] Prague? Pragu? Prage? MuggleCasters.”

Eric: Prague? How about Prague which is in the Czech Republic.

Kevin: Prague, yeah that’s it.

Ben: Prague. Whatever.


Kevin: Yeah, that’s it.

Ben: Prague.

“Ahoy from Prague, MuggleCasters! Jamie, today we listened to, okay, danced to and sang really loud, “Everytime We Touch” partly as a tribute, but mostly because we love it too.”

Then, from Nashladenu – sorry, e-mail on how to pronounce your name correctly. Oh wait, I think that’s Czech. I don’t know. Her name’s Leah, by the way. Sorry, that’s not her name. Leah’s her name, and this is from all her Czech friends. She sent this postcard clear from the Czech Republic.

Then, let me pop this open real quick. Someone sent every MuggleCaster a Subway gift card. Thank you, Pammy, for sending each of us a Subway gift card.

Kevin: Ooo.

Andrew: Mhm.

Ben: How nice of you.

Eric: There are Subways in New Zealand, so I do expect to get that card.

Ben: Are there really?

Andrew: Wow.

Eric: Yes, there are.

Ben: We can’t afford that kind of international…

Eric: Oh, the international postage? How do you send Jamie his stuff, or don’t you? You just wait until he shows up?

Ben: We just don’t.

Kevin: We don’t.

Ben: Also, thanks to Kelda Sweeney…

Andrew: Who’s that?

Ben: …for sending a Christmas card for each of us.

Eric: Oh, that’s cool.

Andrew: Who’s that?

Ben: I want to know who signed us up for PETA.

Kevin: You…

Ben: Yeah, so thanks to everyone who sent us stuff. Yeah, I have a big stack of mail here so…

Andrew: Real quick, we’re just kidding when we say we don’t mail the stuff to Jamie. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah, by the way we’re just kidding when we say we don’t mail people stuff.

Andrew: [laughs] Ben, what is the PO Box address?

Ben: That is…

P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas

Show Close

Andrew: Don’t forget, there are also many other ways to contact us. Like if you’re in the United States you can call the MuggleCast voicemail to leave a comment or a question. Just dial 1-218-20-MAGIC on your telephone. If you’re in Australia we got a handy number for you: 02-8003-5668.

[Show music begins playing]

Andrew: Eric, can you call that locally?

Eric: It’s not local, but I can call it.

Andrew: If you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677. You can also Skype the username “MuggleCast.” Just remember to keep your question under 30 seconds and eliminate as much background noise as possible. On you can also find a handy feedback form to contact any one of us or just e-mail our first name at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Also, a quick update on our Deathly Hallows theory contest, all of you better get your entries in soon because the deadline is…

Ben: Is that the win a piece of Jamie’s suitcase?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Because the deadline is February 4th, so you want to get those in as soon as possible if you want a piece of Jamie’s suitcase. Also, don’t forget to visit all of our community outlets. There’s MySpace, Facebook, YouTube,Frappr, Last.FM, even the Fanlisting Forums. You can also dig us on and vote for us once a month on Podcast Alley and review us on Yahoo! Podcasts. We want to get the word out about the show and the best way to do that is through you guys. So, we thank you very much for your support.

Ben: Tell all your friends.

Andrew: Tell all your friends. All right, so that wraps up today’s show. So, once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We thank everyone for listening and we’ll see everyone next week for Episode 75. Bye, bye.

Kevin: Goodbye.

Eric: Goodbye. Or…

Ben: Bye, bye. [laughs and imitates Cartman from South Park] Bye! Bye!


Eric: Say Snape dies. Actually, didn’t we just hear that Lucius was not going to be in Book 7?

Andrew: What?

Eric: Didn’t Jason Issacs…?

Andrew: No. That was Jason Issacs saying, “I hope he makes it through.” Or something like that.

Eric: Yeah, but I thought he was told by J.K. that he wasn’t in Book 7 at all.

Andrew: No. [laughs] Don’t you think…?

Ben: Don’t even start that.

Andrew: [laughs] No, no. He didn’t say that. I hope you’re kidding. Why would he reveal that?

Eric: Well, because he’s stuck in prison.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: So?

Micah: He’s out of prison now, isn’t he? I thought.

Eric: No. I thought he was in prison. He didn’t escape.

Micah: I thought they all broke out at the end of Half-Blood Prince.

Eric: Yeah. They left Lucius there to rot, didn’t they?

Micah: Oh, did they? I don’t know. [laughs]

Ben: There’s Eric with his other theories.

Andrew: Yeah, but either way, no. Jason Issacs did not hear from Jo that he was going to die.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Micah: He did say July for a release date, though.

Eric: Not die. No, I heard he wasn’t going to be in Book 7, though.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: No, seriously though. Ben, stop freaking out. I’m going to MuggleNet right now to check that out.

Andrew: He didn’t say that. Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew and Ben continue to laugh]

Eric: I thought he said he wasn’t going to be in Book 7.

Andrew: No. You read it wrong. You read it wrong.

Eric: And he really wanted to be in Book 7.

Andrew: You read it wrong.

Micah: No, no. He wanted to make sure his character got enough…

Andrew: Oh, airtime, yeah.

Micah: …scenes in Book 7.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Well, what does that have to do with anything? Scenes in Book 7?

Andrew: He was joking that he wants to be in the seventh film.

Micah: So, he can play in the movie.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah.

Eric: How can I search for news topics?

Andrew: Okay, you’re wasting time. Let’s move along here. Is there anything else to talk, in this discussion. Ben?

Ben: [laughs] I think that’s it.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Eloise, Jessica, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Roni, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly