Transcript #630

 

MuggleCast 630 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #630, Nagini the Narc (GOF Chapter 1, The Riddle House)


Dumbledore: I’ll be going now, Harry.

Harry: Professor, is this all real? Or is it just happening inside my head?

Dumbledore: Of course it’s happening inside your head, Harry, but why should that mean that it’s not real?


Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And this week we’ll begin Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter, and to help us kick off the fourth book in the Harry Potter series, we’re joined by one of our Slug Club patrons this week, Summer. Hi, Summer.

Summer: Hello, thanks for having me.

Andrew: Welcome to the show. We’re excited to have you, and thanks for your support on Patreon. Let’s get your fandom ID.

Summer: Sure, so my favorite book… I’m bad at choosing. Favorite book is Prisoner of Azkaban or Deathly Hallows, favorite movie is Prisoner of Azkaban or Deathly Hallows – Part 1. My Hogwarts House is Gryffindor. My Patronus, I recently found out, is a grey squirrel. And my favorite character is – you can correct me if I’m wrong, but I might be the first person on MuggleCast, and it’s a very unpopular opinion overall – Harry Potter is indeed my favorite character in the Harry Potter series.

Andrew: Aww. That’s sweet.

Summer: I love him. Thank you. I love him. And Sirius Black is a close second. But he grows up in the horrible house that is the Dursleys’, and it really doesn’t turn him into a terrible character at all. If anything, he has a Horcrux living in him, and he’s still a good character at heart. And I think he’s very funny in the books and in the movies, but even funnier on the books. And my favorite first chapter in Harry Potter… this is a great question. I chose “Dudley Demented” from Order of the Phoenix, with “The Other Minister” as a close second. I know everyone loves that. But I love that Order of the Phoenix opening, getting another peek into Harry’s depressing world.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: “Another peak into Harry’s depressing world.” And fun fact about you, you also worked at the Harry Potter Store in New York, right? Their flagship store.

Summer: I did.

Andrew: What was that experience like?

Summer: It was so fun; I worked there this past summer. I was actually at the butterbeer bar, and I absolutely loved it. I will say that I like the butterbeer ice cream a whole lot more than the normal butterbeer, and I ate a cup of it every shift, and I was known for that.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Summer: I would see how long I could go without eating some because food service is hard work, especially when it’s busy every single day. So I loved it, and I got 30% off at the store, so that was another great part. And it was so fun. When the shifts would get long or I’d get tired, I would just stand there, and they play the soundtrack in the background, and then that would center me. And I’d love standing there listening to the music, even though it did get a little loud sometimes. But it was a lot of fun.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: That’s so cool.

Summer: Yeah, and I was surprised by how many people who work there weren’t actually fans, and I was slightly disappointed because they’d be like, “Oh, you actually like Harry Potter?” and I was like, “Yeah, that’s why I applied here.”

Andrew: “I listen to a Harry Potter podcast.”

Summer: Yeah, I was like, “You don’t listen to MuggleCast?”

[Andrew and Summer laugh]

Eric: Listen, you need to hijack the speakers and start playing our episodes.

Summer: Oh, I know it. I might have tried.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I was going to ask, did you convert anybody to a Potter fan?

Summer: I think I tried, but they were… I tried.

Eric: It’s an uphill struggle. Harry Potter is actually over, Micah, nobody cares about it anymore.

Micah: That’s fair.

Andrew: Well, I was going to say, it’s hard in New York. You’ve got to get a job wherever you can, so people are out there being like…

Eric: Okay, that’s fair. That makes sense.

Andrew: “I’m applying at the Sbarro. I’m applying at the Harry Potter Store. I’m applying at the Duane Reade.”

Summer: And the pay was good. My one coworker, who wasn’t as big a fan as me, was also named Andrew, so shout-out to him.

Andrew: Oh, really? Okay.

Summer: And also Slytherin, so shout-out.

Laura: Are you telling us that Andrew worked undercover at the Harry Potter Store?

[Micah and Summer laugh]

Andrew: I was trying to hijack the sound system to play MuggleCast.

Eric: What, Sbarro wouldn’t hire you?

Andrew: [laughs] Well, thanks for sharing that, and welcome to the show. We’re excited to have you and get all your feedback today.

Summer: Thank you.

Andrew: So we have a couple of brand new announcements before we continue. First of all, Micah, I think a lot of listeners will be excited about this.

Micah: Yeah, Quizzitch Live returns later on in October. We’re really excited to bring this back. This was something we had a lot of fun with, particularly during the pandemic, but it’s something that we’re going to keep on doing as long as we can come up with trivia questions, and there are plenty of them out there. So we will be doing Quizzitch on October 28, more details to follow, and then we’re planning on releasing this as a full episode on Halloween. So this Quizzitch Live will have a Halloween feel to it of sorts; we’ll have questions about wizarding world candy, as well as James and Lily, given everything that went down on Halloween all those years ago, but the main focus of it is an OWLs edition, so study up on your Charms, your Potions, your Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. And huge shout-out to listener Nicole H., who provided these questions. Saved me a lot of work, to be quite honest, so we really appreciate her sending these in. She’s been a longtime listener of the show.

Andrew: Yeah, and so we know listeners really like these live Harry Potter trivia games that we put together. Everybody will be able to participate, so stay tuned for more details. But again, like Micah mentioned, this will be occurring on October 28. It is free to play, and there will be prizes.

Micah: Oh yeah, there will.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Andrew gave me full reign of the budget to be able to go and get prizes.

Andrew: I don’t remember talking about that, but all right, maybe Summer gave me too much butterbeer.

Micah: I was just going to go with full-size candy bars like you do for Halloween.

Andrew: Yeah, that is true. Thank you, Costco and your discounts.

Eric: And one thing about the Quizzitch is if you do miss the live stream, you can play at home later because that will be released on Halloween as the episode.

Micah: But no prizes if you play later.

Eric: Oh, yes, fewer prizes. If you want the prizes, the big, big prizes that we have plans for…

Micah: The prize is playing, really, at the end of the day.

Eric: The prize is the friends that we made along the way.

Andrew: So stay tuned for more details, but clear your calendars now, October 28 for the live Quizzitch. And we also have another cool announcement: So longtime listeners might remember that we used to do transcripts for the show.

Micah: Yes, I did.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Micah led the transcripts team, we had a lot of people working on the transcripts for us, they were amazing… And then we got away from it because it was a lot of work. But now times have changed, and there are great transcription tools that automate a lot of the process, and so we’re excited to share that we are getting started again on transcripts, and we’re going to go back into our archive and get all the episodes that we haven’t transcribed, transcribed. And one exciting aspect of this announcement is that Eric’s girlfriend Meg, who is a MuggleCast listener herself, will be doing the transcripts for us. She’s going to be looking through what the bots transcribe and making sure everything’s up to snuff because they’re not good with Harry Potter words.

[Eric laughs]

Summer: I was going to say, they might have some struggles with that.

Eric: “MuggleCast” comes out differently every time we say it. It’s very fun to see. [laughs] But yeah, the coolest thing about it is all the recent episodes of MuggleCast will have transcripts first, so it’s another new way to listen to or experience, let’s say, the latest episodes. They’ll be up usually within a week of the episode coming out. So yeah, it’s a fascinating thing. Transcripts are great. They also work much better in things with screen readers and other additional… it’s just great to have transcripts, and it’s a really great way for the archive to archive all the amazing things we’ve said and done over the years on this show.

Micah: We are now fully accountable for everything we say.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Yeah, unfortunately, that’s the one downside..

Andrew: It’s important for accessibility, as Eric was getting at. And Meg is just, as I said to you, Eric, the perfect person for this because she knows the show. She knows us. She knows Harry Potter, unlike the bots, so…

Eric: The craziest thing is that she’s going to be transcribing our complimenting her in like a week’s time.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: It’s the weirdest thing. So the more we say nice, she’s going to blush, it’s going to be a thing… but yes, we’re very excited to bring Meg on. The reason that we can do this is because of support of listeners like Summer on Patreon. We can fund this kind of work, which is a lot of work. It’s hours and hours of work. The bots help, but they can only do so much, so we’re very grateful to all of our listeners. And hopefully, people use these transcripts. And my favorite thing to do, really, with transcripts is to Google if I’m like, “What’s that episode where we first said ‘Peace and love,’ and what were we talking about?”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: In five years, I’ll have the answer when all the transcripts are complete. Because I forget the origin of that phrase, for instance, but it helps you figure out where it all came from.

Micah: I will just shout out Meg, though, because it is a thankless, tedious job at times, so huge kudos to her in advance of taking on this project.

Andrew: Definitely.

Summer: Thank you, Meg.

Laura: Yeah, she’s amazing.

Andrew: And speaking of Ringo Starr, Eric, you saw Ringo Starr the other day?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I saw, I got this T-shirt.

Andrew: He’s wearing a “Peace and love” shirt. Oh my gosh.

Eric: Peace and love, everybody, yeah! I’m very excited.

Andrew: Did you yell “Peace and love” at the venue?

Eric: Everyone was yelling “Peace and love” at the venue.

Andrew: Really?

Eric: Yeah, I mean, the shirt… it’s this whole thing now. I think ever since he asked people to stop sending in fan mail to him, because he was getting overwhelmed, that saying… maybe it was before then, and that saying is just iconic. Yeah, he was great. You know what, 83 years old? He can move.

Andrew: Wow. Dang. Good for him.

Eric: Yeah, it was a great concert, his All-Starr band.


Remembering Michael Gambon


Andrew: And on a serious note now, last week we had our Goblet of Fire movie commentary. We actually had recorded that the week prior, as you may have heard at the top of the Goblet of Fire commentary. Michael Gambon passed away a little over a week ago. Of course, he played Albus Dumbledore in movies 3 onward, and we just wanted to take a moment to reflect on his role in Harry Potter. I know we’ve jokingly, maybe some of us more than others, talked about how… there’s always been a debate about who was the better Dumbledore, Richard Harris or Michael Gambon, but I’ve always felt like Michael Gambon was always my favorite Dumbledore. I thought the way he played it was necessary, especially for the later films. I have a hard time picturing Richard Harris playing out the cave scene, for example.

Eric: Yeah, I mean, I’ve said this before, and I think I reiterated it in the commentary, but Movie 6 Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore is flawless in my opinion and one of my favorites. The scene I actually get the most enjoyment out of watching him do is where they go and get Slughorn at the beginning of the movie.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: That is just so fun, seeing Jim Broadbent, Michael Gambon, and Dan Radcliffe do those things. Everything from the knitting patterns to just… it’s so Dumbledore and it’s so perfect, and so I’m really grateful for him in general. I hope that he rests in peace and his family finds comfort, but yeah, that’s definitely a favorite all-time moment for me for him in films.

Summer: Yeah, going off of that, you just mentioned the cave scene; I actually just rewatched Half-Blood Prince with my boyfriend, and it was almost… I find the cave scene almost hard to watch every time I watch the movies, because Harry forcing him to drink that potion… it’s just awful. It’s awful in the books too. So that part is bad, but then when Harry gets taken under the water by the Inferi… and the whole fire spell scene is just incredible. My mom is a huge Dumbledore fan and a huge Michael Gambon fan, and yeah, Half-Blood Prince is her favorite movie, probably because of Michael Gambon. And also, not just because he passed, but because I feel this way anyway, I will, I think, agree with Andrew in terms of I am a Dumbledore apologist, but I will defend his delivery of the infamous line in Goblet of Fire of “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire”?

Laura: Yes!

Eric: You can try. You can try defending it. You will fail.

Summer: No, I think… in the books, I understand why he was calm. But in the movie, Dumbledore knows that there’s no way Harry is getting out of this, his name came out of the Goblet of Fire, he is magically bound to participate in the Triwizard Tournament and he is going to be in danger all year because of it, and so he is very stressed and angry at the situation. And I defend how he delivered that line because I think he knows exactly what is going to happen, which is Harry is once again in danger all year.

Eric: So basically, you’re like, “Everyone in this movie is shouting, why not Dumbledore too?”

Summer: [laughs] I mean, like he’s angry on Harry’s behalf that Harry has been drawn into this.

Laura: Well, and here’s what I will say: As Potter fans, no matter how you feel about that line, it is an iconic moment in Potter history. [laughs]

Eric: The shake and scream heard ’round the world.

Andrew: I will say, my favorite was probably the Snape’s memory sequence in Deathly Hallows. I mean, that was amazing. It was just… the info dump there was incredible, of course in the book, but in the movie as well, and I thought Michael Gambon played that really well. So that would be my choice, if not the cave stuff, because I also thought that was very good.

Micah: For me, I think first off, one of the things we have to take into consideration is that Michael Gambon was stepping into a role of a character that quite honestly, outside of the trio, was the biggest role in the series. And that’s obviously with no disrespect to Snape and Alan Rickman’s portrayal, but I think from a character standpoint, Dumbledore was probably the biggest outside of Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and so I think it’s tough to come into that in the third film. But I will say, I think he really turned me over time to really appreciate the way that he portrayed Dumbledore, going off a lot of the points that were raised here, and I really loved him in the “King’s Cross” scene in Deathly Hallows – Part 2 with Daniel Radcliffe. I thought his delivery of some of Dumbledore’s most iconic lines was just spot on. And you could tell that he really enjoyed that scene; I think he talked about it being one of his favorite scenes as well. So I think that he became Dumbledore. I don’t know that he started out that way, but I think, at least for me, he became Dumbledore.

Andrew: I think that’s a beautiful assessment. Yeah, I think that’s great.

Laura: I would say a favorite moment that really sticks out to me is the Astronomy Tower at the end of Half-Blood Prince.

[Andrew weeps]

Eric: “Severus, please.”

Laura: I know, and I hate it because that’s Dumbledore’s death scene and we’re talking about Michael Gambon dying here, unfortunately. But I thought the way that he portrayed Dumbledore in that moment, talking Draco through what he’s going through and trying to literally get Draco to back away from the ledge and not do this to himself, full on knowing he’s about to die. Right? This is the plan, it has been the plan all along. I thought that he played that perfectly when I read the book initially. The way that they chose to portray this in the movie is almost exactly the way I imagined it when reading the book. And it felt like one of those moments where across the board, not just Gambon but everyone involved with the movie was completely in sync with the text. And his delivery of those lines and his mentoring of Draco, even though he knew he was about to die, was just spot on.

Andrew: Of course, we’re focused on his career with Harry Potter, but he was a legendary actor outside of the Harry Potter films, so rest in peace, Michael Gambon, and thanks for all of your contributions to the Harry Potter films.

Micah: No easy way to switch gears, but I did want to mention that we oftentimes on the show will talk about special editions of the Harry Potter books that have been released, and we’ve talked about MinaLima and the great work that they have done on the Harry Potter series, particularly the Harry Potter films and the Fantastic Beasts films. But they are in the business of releasing illustrated editions of their own of the Harry Potter books, and Prisoner of Azkaban was just released on October 3, so I wanted to just do a brief mention of that. There’s nothing really more to say, but I’m sure you know seeing their take on things is always very cool.


Chapter by Chapter: Goblet of Fire introduction


Andrew: All right, well, now let’s jump one book ahead to Goblet of Fire because we are kicking off Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter today. And before we get into Chapter 1, just wanted to look back at the initial publication of the fourth book. It was originally published July 8, 2000 in the US and the UK; this was the first book to be released simultaneously in both countries. There were midnight release parties, obviously, in both countries, but also around the world. This was the first midnight release party that I went to. I posted a photo to the MuggleCast Instagram; I think we’re going to repurpose that into a TBT coming up soon as well. Anybody else attend the midnight book release for this one?

Micah: Nope.

Laura: I didn’t, and I’m so sad that I didn’t.

Andrew: Summer, not you either?

Summer: Uh, brace yourselves: I wasn’t born yet.

Andrew: You weren’t born yet!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: What!

Micah: This show is done.

Summer: I got a little bit of a shock looking at the doc and seeing that was the date.

[Everyone laughs]

Summer: I was not even a thought in my mom’s brain.

Eric: Oh my God.

Summer: I was born about a year later on July 7, actually.

Andrew: Oh, okay, so almost a year to the day.

Summer: Yeah, which – quick note on that. I always was a little sad that Harry’s birthday wasn’t on July 7. I thought 7/7 would be a great birthday for him. I know it was on the 31st because of the author’s birthday and the end of July and all that, but I was always like, “I feel like he could have had my birthday.” But yeah, I was not at the at the midnight premiere. [laughs]

Andrew: You were very much not. Well, I was and I had a great time as a millennial.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I don’t think I’m going to recover from this.

Andrew: July 8 was a Saturday, and they purposely picked a Saturday so kids would be off from school. Obviously, it was in the summer too, so that was helpful, but there was also no workday commitments. I think it was probably easier on parents as well to get their kids to a midnight release party if it was happening over the weekend. When was the last time each of us read Goblet of Fire? I think for me it’s been a while.

Laura: It’s been a long time.

Micah: So I was thinking about this, and I can pretty much with confidence say the last time I read Goblet of Fire was the last time we did the Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter, which was in 2010, so it has been 13 years since we have read and analyzed Goblet of Fire.

Eric: Hey, that is as long as Voldemort had to wait to kill Harry Potter in this chapter, he says.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: I might be a little rusty with this one.

Eric: This is the one… I’m so excited for this Chapter by Chapter. I always loved the fourth book; it’s very comparable to 3 for me. I have a lot to thank Goblet of Fire for, but here’s a fun fact about that: I also have something to not thank Goblet of Fire for. It was the first Harry Potter book I ever picked up, and I read just this chapter.

[Laura and Summer laugh]

Eric: I read just this chapter. You know what? This is isolating. This is excluding of any general audience member when you… and we’ll go through this, but I picked it up, I didn’t understand what the heck was going on, and I put the book down. And it was two more years before I was a Harry Potter fan. But yeah, Goblet of Fire. It’s funny because the way I read it, I read this chapter now and it’s a fantastic chapter. It’s really good. But not only is Harry not in it, “Wormtail” is a codename, and it’s all about the villagers of Little Hangleton and Great Hangleton and the gossip in the towns. I was like, “What is this book even about? Where are the boy wizards?”

[Laura and Summer laugh]

Eric: So anyway, it’s funny because I think that the departure… what this book does well is it opens up, is really brave, bold, new, exciting, trying new things, good world building, to everyone else’s point. But yeah, it shook me, and I put the book down for at least another year and a half. And it wasn’t until the first movie ended up coming out that I saw what it was all about.


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


Andrew: Now finally, let’s get to Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter, and this is Chapter 1, “The Riddle House,” and we’ll start as always with our Seven-Word Summary. Summer will kick things off. Here we go.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Summer: Voldemort…

Eric: … decides…

Laura: … to…

Summer: … plan…

Andrew: … a…

Micah: … amazing…

Eric: … murder.

[Everyone laughs]

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]

Andrew: All right, off to a good start.

Laura: The most amazing murder, in fact.

Eric: The most amazing murder!


Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion


Laura: So I am so excited to be kicking off Goblet of Fire. I feel like I’m entering my spooky season era, right? This is my favorite month, we’re starting Chapter by Chapter for my favorite book, I’ve got my MuggleCast beanie on, I’m here, I’ve got my Dunkin’…

Andrew: You are living your best life.

Laura: I am living my best life! This is wonderful.

Andrew: You’re feeling all the peace and love, and spooks.

Laura: [laughs] Andrew is like, “Peace and love, please move on.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: If we waste 60 more seconds, Andrew will pass out and have a stroke. It’s good, it’s good.

Laura: He’s like, “Shut up.” But really, getting into it, I want to highlight – it’s pretty obvious, we all know this – but this is the first book since Sorcerer’s Stone to open without Harry. And as a matter of fact, Sorcerer’s Stone, Goblet of Fire, and Half-Blood Prince all do this to set the scene.

Andrew: I was wondering how J.K. Rowling’s editors felt about that when they got the manuscript for Goblet of Fire, like, “Oh, whoa, wait a second. This is a Harry Potter series. You’re big, but I don’t know if you’re that big. You’ve got to hook people from the beginning.” Obviously, at this point, Harry Potter was very big, so maybe they felt like, “Okay, we’ll let her do what she wants.” [laughs] But I don’t know. If I was an editor, I think that would give me pause. You can’t open up a children’s series with some grim chapter that doesn’t involve Harry.

Eric: Look, I’m proof. It turns people away. It really did.

Andrew: Thank you.

Eric: And I wanted those… Goblet of Fire was worth 23 points in Accelerated Reader if you read it, and I really wanted those points. I wouldn’t have to read the rest of the quarter. I might be speaking 1980s terms for people here, but I wanted the rest of those points. I wanted to like this book, and I couldn’t get into it because where the hell is Harry?

Summer: Voldemort and Wormtail are both in it, which are both very recognizable names. Well, I guess… I don’t think they say “Voldemort,” but it’s probably pretty obvious.

Eric: “My Lord,” yeah.

Summer: Yeah, okay. Eric, It says 4 on the binding, so I feel like we can’t keep defending that you read it first.

Eric: Now it does! Now it says 4 on the binding! That’s on me. I’m sorry.

Summer: Maybe it made the editors a little more open to it versus when you read the first book and it’s the Dursleys. I remember quickly losing interest, and it took me a couple tries to get through it. But Andrew, that’s a great point that, yeah, it’s supposed to be a children’s series and it is a very grim opening, so it might have turned a few people away.

Andrew: There is a specific mention of Voldemort. There’s a lot of “My Lord,” but there’s a “Lord Voldemort” at least once. I’m just looking right now.

Eric: Yeah, look, there’s something to be said for starting in the middle of the action. That’s good writing. The middle of this murder plot to get Harry is really good writing. I just read the chapter again; I love it. I will say, this is great. It’s one of the better chapters. The character of Frank, reading through it. But yeah, the whole way that it opens… is Harry absent, though? Because he’s kind of dreaming this.

Micah: Right, he’s there.

Laura: Yeah, we learn at the end of the chapter that…

Summer: It was a dream.

Laura: Yeah, he is somehow connected to this.

Eric: Huh. Like, via Horcrux or something.

Laura: And it’s so funny because there are definitely a couple of important Horcrux mentions in this chapter, even though they’re not directly mentioned. We hear about the events that led to two of Voldemort’s Horcruxes being created in this chapter, which is super fascinating.

Eric: Which two?

Micah: We’ll find out.

Laura: They’re in the course of the discussion. They’ll be revealed [laughs] as we talk.

Micah: This might be a bit of a hot take, but thinking back on it, to me, Sorcerer’s Stone almost opens a bit with a Casual Vacancy vibe to it, just the way that the Dursleys are described. And this book opens up totally differently, because to your point, you do get a lot of action. You get a murder in the very first chapter of Goblet of Fire.

Summer: Three!

Micah: Oh yeah, fair. Three.

[Eric and Micah laugh]

Eric: Justice for Tom’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Jerkweed Riddle.

Micah: What I wanted to bring up is I think in past books, we talked about how there’s so much recapping of what happened in the prior book, particularly with Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban. And it seems like, at least for the purposes of the first chapter, J.K. Rowling stayed away from that completely. Because I feel like if you are a reader that has been with her through the first three books, you don’t want to get hit with that recap again right away, and I think by the time you get to the fourth book, it’s really something that you shouldn’t need. So sorry, Eric, that you started on the fourth book. [laughs] But it’s just, it gets old.

Laura: Yeah. Well, also, by this point in time, we have to remember Harry Potter was a critical hit. I mean, it was a huge success, even at this point, so that would have given her the freedom to be able to open the book this way. Maybe if it were half as successful as it was or even less, maybe she wouldn’t have had that freedom and she would have had to do the info-dump recap chapter. But she doesn’t have to do it because Harry Potter is so ubiquitous and successful at this point. As a matter of fact, by this point, doesn’t Warner Bros. already have the rights for the first three movies?

Eric: By the time this was published, the movies are filming, I think. That’s also before you were born, Summer.

Summer: [laughs] Don’t keep reminding me.

Laura: Our point of focus from the start of this chapter is the damp, derelict, and unoccupied Riddle House of Little Hangleton. And of course, as anyone who’s read the prior three books, we can immediately tag this as “Okay, this has something to do with Tom Riddle.” So we already know about him. Eric, you had an interesting headcanon, dare I say, about the ownership of the Riddle House?

Eric: One of the things that we get in all of this world-building apart from the history of the mansion, how it went through different owners, is that it is currently owned by someone that does not inhabit it, and the local townsfolk think that this person owns the mansion for tax reasons, because that’s the kind of thing Muggles come up with when they have no explanation for what’s going on here.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: But Frank is also said to be receiving a regular payment to still be the groundskeeper here. And I’m thinking, first of all, who’s the owner? And second of all, is Frank’s payment something that’s managed directly? Who owns the house? Is it Voldemort? If Voldemort has a vested interest, like maybe this was a one day safe house, or if it’s Lucius Malfoy who knew some kind of connection to the house, it ultimately is very interesting. I want to know who it is. And as far as regular payments, you could probably set up a spell to duplicate Muggle money and just deliver it in somebody’s mailbox on a regular… have it appear and reprint. Is Frank Bryce getting paid by an inanimate spell? I’m just thinking about how this all works to keep it going.

Laura: Yeah, it also makes me wonder if Voldemort could’ve Imperiod a Muggle, like found a wealthy Muggle and just cast the Imperius Curse on them to force them to take ownership of this home but never really want to visit it, so they’re financially responsible for maintaining it so it doesn’t get bulldozed or condemned or something like that. And as a result, that person is stuck paying Frank and any other staff who still live on the grounds, but now Voldemort has this safe haven that he can go to any time that he can count on being unoccupied.

Micah: Right.

Summer: I like that theory a lot. Definitely seems like something Voldemort would do, and that’s really an interesting way to think about it. And I also wonder if Voldemort – even though he doesn’t like his dad or his grandparents at all because they’re Muggles – if he feels like he has a right to the house, because technically he would be the heir to it, even though his dad didn’t know he existed or wouldn’t have actually left him the house, I believe. So almost, he would feel like he had a right to it because it belonged to his predecessors.

Eric: Yeah, as much as he tries to disown his predecessors, it’s like, “Oh, but this is also my house.” We know Voldemort likes to keep trophies, so “My father’s house, I killed him and his parents and took his house.” The thing that gets me about Imperius Curse is: Was Frank himself suffering from some level of commitment? There’s a question in this chapter of why Frank remains at the house, and why would you? If you were in your 20s, your employer and his family got murdered, and the whole town – which is a very small town that likes to talk a lot – suspects you, why would you stay? Why would you stay behind? And the question for me is, it’s talking about the boys that come and throw stones and break windows. The book says, “They knew that old Frank’s devotion to the house and grounds amounted to almost an obsession,” and it also says that “They rode their bikes over lawns that Frank worked so hard to keep smooth.” Listen, you’re fighting a losing battle. Why would Frank still invest this much time in this place that’s kind of a bad situation?

Laura: Well, we’re going to unpack Frank’s character and background a little bit here, and we might be able to unearth some hints about why he might do this. But I want to zoom out and think about the overall legend that seems to follow the Riddle House and exist in Little Hangleton. So just to set the scene for the time and place, because we’re talking about present day, this story taking place in 1994, but the events of this chapter actually cover events that transpired 50 years previously. So 50 years before this, so around 1944, the villagers of Little Hangleton all agree that a maid had entered the drawing room one morning at the Riddle House to find all three Riddles dead. Tom Riddle, Sr., his parents, a.k.a. Voldemort’s dad and his grandparents. They’re described as having their eyes wide open, being cold as ice, still in their dinner things. It’s a very bizarre sequence of murders because there’s seemingly no reason for these people to be dead.

Micah: It was the maid in the drawing room with a…

Laura: [laughs] I know, it’s like Clue.

Eric: Right before the Riddles died, there was a voice saying, “Rosebud!” It’s like such a mystery.

Micah: Sorry, I don’t mean to cut you off.

Laura: No, you’re all good. I also wanted to call out, first Horcrux mention of the chapter: Voldemort’s murder of his father, Thomas Riddle, Sr., is where we get the ring Horcrux. So the ring Horcrux was created with this murder back in the mid-1940s.

Summer: Yeah, I was curious. I’m sure it would have been mentioned if it had been, but was the Dark Mark not cast above the house? Maybe it wasn’t a thing yet. Is that something that Voldemort’s supporters made up? Or I’m like, does Voldemort himself ever cast a Dark Mark? Or is it one of the Death Eaters when they murder someone? But I’m imagining it wasn’t there because I think it would have been mentioned in the book, so I was curious why it wasn’t there, why Voldemort didn’t cast… or maybe that’s below him to do that, and that’s just what the Death Eaters do.

Micah: It’s a good question. I tend to think and agree with what you’re saying, that it just didn’t exist yet. And even if it did, it would probably would be passed off as oh, pollution, regular smog in the town of Little Hangleton.

Andrew: [laughs] Pollution?

Summer: Strangely shaped pollution?

Eric: [laughs] That’s a great point, Muggles are unwilling to believe anything could possibly be magical.

Micah: One of the things that’s really curious about this timeframe, too, is it is going towards the end of the Second World War, and this ties a bit into probably what we’re going to talk about with Frank, but that 1944 time period, the fact that Tom returns to his… well, he’s not returning; he’s invading his father’s and grandparents’ home to murder them. But going back to this whole idea of the house being a trophy, I’m also wondering, is there a curse here of some sort on the Riddle home? Because it’s not just this wealthy person that we hear about. The home has actually been owned by multiple people over time, but it’s said that they don’t stay very long, so it makes me think of those scary horror movies that you see where over time people just move in and out because something keeps them from from staying there. It’s very honestly comparable to what happens with the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, right? People continuously cycle in and out. So I wonder, would this have happened…? I’m trying to think of the timeframe with Tom Riddle, but is this another example of him being able to cast a curse of that sort, this time on on the Riddle House?

Laura: That’s so interesting.

Andrew: And maybe it wasn’t even intentional. It’s just like, once that occurred, it was a curse on the house, or just the vibes were off in the house henceforth. Maybe it had a funky smell to it.

Summer: Bad vibes.

Laura: The vibes were sus?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: No, I mean, I love it because at the very least, the Riddle House is cursed just by association with what happened, right? So it’s common knowledge that three people were murdered in this house, so you can assume that anyone who moved in there either knew about the murders when they chose to move in, or they found out about them not long after they moved to Little Hangleton.

Eric: That’s a good point.

Summer: Unsolved murders at that.

Eric: Oh, that’s creepy. Yeah.

Laura: So with that, I can imagine that it could carry a curse insofar as people just not being comfortable there. I mean, in real life, people have a hard time moving houses where people have died, right? Usually in most states, at least here in the US, you have to disclose that kind of thing, especially if it was something violent like a murder or like what we’re talking about here, and it can make it really hard to sell that kind of house. So there’s definitely a stigma associated with the Riddle House for sure.

Eric: Maybe the subsequent owners just couldn’t stand the gossipy nature of the small town people.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Maybe.

Eric: These people are unbearable.

Summer: They were above it.

Laura: Well, I’m glad that you bring up the villagers because it is noted that they do not waste their breath pretending to feel sad about the murder of the Riddles. Specifically, they are described as “Elderly Mr. and Mrs. Riddle had been rich, snobbish, and rude, and their grown-up son Tom had been, if anything, worse.” I really love this as a comparison to the Dursleys, if we think about the opening chapter of Sorcerer’s Stone where we get that “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of Number Four Privet Drive were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” It’s giving very similar energy. So I love the comparison between the Riddles and the Dursleys as being these upper class, rich, snobbish, worst versions of Muggles you could imagine, and the impact those families have on Harry and Voldemort, who in a lot of ways, are very similar.

Eric: That’s a good connection.

Laura: Yeah, so I just love that because it’s interesting, Harry would never think about going to murder the Dursleys. You have the same family structure, you have the two snobbish parents and their crappy son.

Eric: Huh!

Laura: So the fact that Harry doesn’t do anything overly malicious to them is just another example of Harry making the opposite choices to what Voldemort would do.

Micah: And what’s interesting about that, too, is Harry spends way more time with the Dursleys than Tom does with his family. Tom spends all of maybe an hour. Who knows what was going on in that room? That would be a great adaptation for the TV show; we don’t really get that much insight into it as far as I remember. But Harry is spending years with the Dursleys and turns out better than Tom does.

Andrew: And doesn’t want to kill them. [laughs] The whole time.

Micah: Well, as far as we know. I mean, I’m sure there were a couple thoughts.

Andrew: Tom spends an hour and is like, “I want to murder them.”

Micah: One thing I did want to bring up talking about Tom Riddle, Sr.: We don’t know a whole lot about him, at least at this point, and just the way that he’s described as being even worse than his parents, it raises the question as to why Merope was interested in him to begin with? We know that they’re younger, so was it purely looks based? Or what happened to Tom Riddle, Sr., was that a result of what Merope did to him? Does he become even worse than his parents Bbcause of being under this love potion for such a long period of time?

Eric: Ohh.

Laura: I love this.

Micah: Maybe he was the greatest guy in the world when they first met, but he becomes a bit of a you-know-what afterwards.

Summer: Yeah, I did find this description of Tom Riddle, Sr. a little surprising, because in my mind… even though we knew Merope wasn’t genuinely in love with him, in my mind, I saw him as the polite, handsome man who lives near them and Merope is infatuated with him. Maybe she saw him being kind to the neighbors outside and it made her like him and everything, so I was surprised to learn that he wasn’t necessarily a nice person or a polite person. So again, whether or not she was just obsessed with him purely based on looks, I think certainly that comes into it, and they were similar ages. And we know that part of the reason Merope got with Tom Riddle, Sr. was to spite her brother and her dad, the Gaunts, who were very much pure-blood, and because she seemed to be very isolated and had a horrible living situation. So I think any connection to the outside world, like a handsome boy who could distract her while she was living in that horrible house, all led up to her giving the love potion.

Laura: We talk a whole lot about how Voldemort, Tom Riddle, was doomed from the start because there’s just something broken in the soul of a person conceived under the influence of a love potion. I mean, basically Merope roofied Tom Riddle, Sr. into getting her pregnant, right? So if we’re going to say that something happens to impact the soul of a child conceived through these events, what happens to the person who is assaulted? In this case, Tom Riddle, Sr.?

Eric: That’s a great point, and it doesn’t need to be that they really had any kind of relationship. If we’re vilifying Merope for what she did and calling it rape, which it was, then you can kind of just say that this person who descended from a long line of Slytherins – not to malign Slytherins; I promise that’s not where I’m going from this – did the ultimately most Slytherin thing and had the ambition to go after what she wanted. She wanted Tom Riddle Sr. in her bed, and she got him, she reached out, she touched ambition, and so it’s not that they necessarily had a long courtship or that they would have interacted at all. I think he was probably just the stuck-up, snobbish, rich person that two stuck-up, snobbish, rich people have as their child, raised them with their values, a disdain for the local villagers, and that Merope did just think he was cute. She didn’t really have a point of reference, looking at her own family members. And she went for it.

Micah: Laura, going back to what you brought up before, comparing Harry and Tom in these moments, Tom makes the conscious choice to go and really eliminate his bloodline altogether, right? Specifically his father. I don’t know how much he really cares about his grandparents, but I would assume when he went there, the target was his father. And you think about Harry and how much Harry would give just to be able to have family, to have his father, to have his grandparents. It’s two completely opposite ends of the coin.

Eric: Oh, I love that. The other element here about killing all the family, when you said, Micah, just now that maybe just his dad was the target for Voldemort, what surely would have transpired while the Riddle seniors were having dinner is that Voldemort would have come and said, “Dad, why did you abandon my mom?” and the dad would have been like, “I don’t even remember, dude, she was a witch or something, and she coerced me into this crazy thing.” And Voldemort would be so embarrassed, so shocked, so vulnerable, to find out that his mom had hoodwinked a Muggle, that he could leave no survivors. He could not let anyone know how embarrassing and how shameful he must have felt in that moment, and so everyone died. Because he thought this whole time that Tom Riddle just wasn’t a good dad, that he wasn’t there because he had chosen to abandon his kid. He never chose to have the kid, and that’s a twist. And I can’t see Voldemort of any age being emotionally able to really wrestle with what that all means. He would have just killed everyone on site and left.

Laura: I agree with you, but I also think Voldemort went here with the intention of killing them and creating the ring Horcrux.

Summer: Yeah, now I am really curious about whether he confronted his father and they had a whole conversation – I think that would be super interesting to see maybe in the TV show – or if he just marched in there and murdered them. Because at first, I believe he just marched in there and murdered them, but now I’m very curious about whether he took the opportunity to talk to his father, if he would even want to, because we all know what Voldemort thinks about Muggles.

Laura: Right.

Micah: It makes me think of when they talk about Bellatrix, they say she likes to play with her food beforehand.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I don’t know the Voldemort is like that. Voldemort is very business.

Eric: No, but he would have had righteous anger. The thing about that is they all had a look of horror on their face, and if somebody walks in and brandishes a wand and says “Avada Kedavra,” you don’t have time to have a look of horror. You’re like, “Who’s this guy? And also what’s…?” A look of surprise, maybe, if he had just… he talked to them. He shouted at them. He said, “I’m going to kill you,” and that’s why they looked shocked when they died. There was an entire convo.

Laura: Do you think he walked in and went, “Hello, Father?”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Summer: Yes.

Laura: And then Tom Riddle, Sr. was like, “Who are you?”

Eric: He probably looks just like him, to be honest. I bet they knew immediately who Voldemort was.

Laura: It’s a good call. Well, like we see happening in society around major murder cases that are very highly present in the local news cycles or even on social media, if we think about the way things play out today, Little Hangletons in 1944 gathered in the village pub to gossip and spread rumors about this. Very interesting note that the village pub is called the Hanged Man.

Micah: I thought that the pub could easily be a reflection of the topic of discussion, right? Frank Bryce is a hanged man in the court of public opinion, all of these villagers. Maybe they took a little bit of convincing; early on we see that. But once the consensus is out there, Frank did it. And there’s plenty of examples in present-day society that we could point to that are similar to what happens to Frank here.

Eric: Frank has been canceled.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Exactly.

Andrew: Frank’s been canceled, and when enough people repeat something, it becomes true, right? Maybe with a name like the Hanged Man, they all feel encouraged to show up there and gossip about a lot of people all the time, especially when the mead is flowing.

Laura: I get the impression this is the only pub. Little Hangleton sounds like a very small town, and so when I imagine a small town like this, they have a church, they have the town pub, and they have a football pitch, and those are the things that their social culture revolves around. So the Hanged Man is where all of the Little Hangletons go to discuss town affairs.

Andrew: It’s also probably not news to a lot of our listeners that pubs over in the UK and Ireland have very fun names, and I did a little Googling and maybe J.K. Rowling was actually a fan of the Hanged Man’s Pub in Kildare, Ireland. Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars on Google Maps, so people seem to really enjoy it, and it looks like a great little pub.

Eric: This whole small town discourse is giving Broadchurch.

Laura: I know, right? I didn’t think about that. But Eric, you also had a good point about what the name of this pub could refer to.

Eric: For anyone who’s familiar with tarot – that’s been getting more of a shout-out lately as we talk about prophecies, divination, all these other kinds of cool branches of magic – the hanged man tarot card is the twelfth card in the Major Arcana. It depicts a man suspended upside down from a living world tree, bound by his right foot while his left foot remains free. The hanging man is not in distress as evidenced by his serene expression, signifying he has chosen this position willingly. Again, kind of questions why Frank Bryce would stay around. And if you get this card in tarot and it’s not reversed, it means wisdom, circumspection, discernment, trials, sacrifice, intuition, divination, and prophecy. So it’s just a great friggin’ name.

Laura: Yeah, there are so many layers to it.

Andrew: All right. Well, we’ll continue talking about this chapter in a moment. But first, if you’re hiring for your business on your own, you’re as helpless as Voldemort without an adult body.

[Everyone laughs]


[Indeed ad break]


Summer: Indeed is where I found my job at the Harry Potter Store.

Micah: Really?

Laura: Ooh, great endorsement.

Eric: Whoa, tried and tested, y’all!

Summer: I was so surprised because it said the location of the job, and it was like a 10-point font and it was like, “Harry Potter Store, West 23rd Street,” and I was like, “Is this a joke?” But it wasn’t, so…

[Andrew and Summer laugh]

Laura: That’s amazing.

Andrew: That’s good to know.

Laura: Great connection. Well, we spent a lot of time talking about the imagery that is evoked by the name of this pub, the Hanged Man. We get to hear now about Frank becoming the hanged man, and I love this imagery of it being the Little Hangletons in the Hanged Man who are socially hanging Frank. There’s just a lot to it. I love all the imagery and the alliteration there. But the Riddles’ cook did eventually arrive at the pub and announced that the Riddles’ gardener, Frank Bryce, who we spend most of the chapter with, had been arrested for the murders, so this is where we’re going to talk about Frank. We learn that Frank had had a “hard war,” and that he’s also nearing his 77th birthday in 1994, meaning that he was born somewhere around 1917. When you look at the list of various war conflicts that Great Britain was involved in, there are a few of them that Frank could have fought in, but World War II feels like the most obvious choice based on the timing and also based on the fact that we know World War II is a point in time that the author draws a lot of comparisons and allusions from for writing these books. So it’s interesting to imagine Frank fighting in World War II when we know that the Dumbledore/Grindelwald conflict is happening at exactly the same time. Makes me wonder where Frank might have been stationed, what, if any, contact he might have had with the wizarding conflict unknowingly?

Micah: My question with all of this, and this is a larger question every single time that we get to criminal acts, is: Where’s the evidence that Frank is responsible in the first place for this? Did Voldemort/Tom Riddle set him up in some way? We never hear about that. But why was Frank the choice of anybody to blame for these murders? Just because he’s the weird guy living in the shack on the property?

Andrew: Who had access to it, because there is no sign of anybody breaking in.

Eric: Of forced entry.

Andrew: I think one of the townspeople says that.

Micah: But what about the people already in the house?

Andrew: I agree with you, Micah, though, it’s not a good case. It’s not a good argument, but they just have nobody else.

Micah: What about the maid? Or the cook?

Eric: Well, there were no charges. Oh yeah, the maid got in somehow. Frank was not really arrested; he was questioned. And I think it’s just the coolest thing because this chapter really is about, in some ways, the way Muggles deal with magic being in their midst. None of them know magic is a thing. But later, when Frank hears Voldemort speaking Parseltongue, he’s 100% right in his intuition – having never experienced magic before – that that’s what’s happening. It’s happening in front of him. But confronted with the magic of “These people were killed,” a whole team of Muggles, the coroner and stuff from probably Big Hangleton, are unable to come up with anything and they’re looking at these magically killed corpses and can’t possibly discern what happened. Their best guess is the only thing any of these people are going to get to because they’re not magical. They can’t do a spell reversal. Magic always leaves traces. These Muggles can only guess at it.

Laura: And I think a lot of this, in terms of Frank being the hanged man here, comes down to scapegoating. And it’s so interesting to see this playing out in the Muggle world because we see it happen a whole lot in the wizarding world; we just finished reading a book where Sirius Black was the ultimate scapegoat, even though he didn’t do anything wrong. And people give excuses about Frank being already set up for failure here; they say things about him, like “The war turned him funny,” “He always had a nasty look about him,” “I wouldn’t want to get on his wrong side.” So it really doesn’t take much for the villagers to convince themselves that Frank is indeed the culprit.

Micah: But it’s also them finding something to attach to that gives them the reason to be able to put the blame at his feet. And Eric, you mentioned this earlier, this could be this timeframe’s version of cancel culture. That’s essentially what is happening to Frank Bryce, in this moment. It also seems to be a bit of a commentary, however brief it is, on the effects of war, and PTSD, and how society… not to say we’ve come a long way, with respect to this, because I still think there’s a lot in current day that we need to do. But at that time, how conditions of war affected people and how it was perceived by the rest of the community, the rest of society, it’s very easy for them to place blame at the feet of Frank. And we see this in other characters too, right? And actually one in this book in Mad-Eye Moody, who has also gone through the wizarding wars, and has himself lost his leg. And Frank is somebody who complains when he gets up about pain in his leg. Cormoran Strike is another character who went through the Afghan war, who lost his leg, and so I wonder if there’s a through line here in some of these characters that J.K. Rowling wrote.

Eric: It’s very clearly PTSD that he suffers from. He can’t have loud noises, he doesn’t like people very much, and this antisocial behavior, which is the horrors of war, for crying out loud, are given as evidence to say that he did it.

Andrew: This was definitely reminding me of Cormoran Strike as well while I was rereading this chapter. It almost felt like a chapter out of one of those books.

Summer: Yeah, and he’s kept himself quite isolated. His workplace and his home are on the same grounds; he lives in a little cottage on the ground and he tends to the garden. So if he ever does venture out to the town and people aren’t the nicest to him, it gives him all the more reason to just stay isolated, and then it gives all the townspeople more time to gossip and make up stories about him.

Micah: And we see this happen with Harry, too, right after his name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, and then you could probably even extend it a bit into Order of the Phoenix where he is treated in many ways as public enemy number one. And it’s all because of the gossip and the talk that is associated with him becoming a Triwizard champion, and then becoming a target of the Ministry later on in the series. So it’s just a nice kind of connecting the threads of sorts, because I’m not sure what book we’re supposed to connect Goblet of Fire to, since it’s right in the middle.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Whichever one you want. It’s a wildcard.

Eric: [laughs] It a wildcard. It’s a free space on the Bingo.

Laura: This is why I love Goblet of Fire, because it’s not connected to any other specific book, it’s connected to all of them because Goblet of Fire is the mantlepiece of the series, right? And all of this setup is so dependent on what comes in Books 1 through 3; we have to have the setup from those books for any of this to make sense. But then Goblet of Fire also provides a lot of the necessary setup for the remaining three books in the series, so it’s just perfection. I will die on that hill.

Summer: Laura, I didn’t realize how much you loved Goblet of Fire.

Laura: I adore this story.

Summer: I feel like it’s not a very common favorite book.

Micah: She has a tattoo. I’m just joking.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: I don’t, but I should probably get one. But while we’re talking about Little Hangleton, let’s talk about Great Hangleton. So it becomes clear that it’s really the police force of Great Hangleton that covers Little Hangleton; I guess they don’t have their own police. Frank is over in neighboring Great Hangleton, insisting that he didn’t do anything, and that the only person he had seen near the Riddles’ house on the day of their deaths had been a dark-haired, pale teenage boy. Dun-dun-dun.

Summer: Wonder who that could be.

Eric: James Potter? Snape?

Laura: Ultimately, as we’ve already established, Frank gets released from police custody because the autopsies of the Riddles confirm that the cause of their death is unexplainable. The only thing that the coroner notes is that they all have looks of terror on their faces, and there’s this great line saying something along the lines of, “Have you ever heard of a person being scared to death?” and that’s the only explanation that anyone can give, and there’s just no real way of proving that Frank could have scared them to death. But it is interesting. You have a good point here, Summer, about the Muggle perspective of the Killing Curse.

Summer: Yeah, I thought it was really interesting to get that perspective because we get a lot of the wizarding side of the Avada Kedavra curse, the big green spell and all of that, so I thought it was very interesting to see the Muggle side where it was, you can’t tell at all what it is. It’s not an inside joke, but it’s definitely you have to be on the inside of being a part of the wizarding world to know what happened here. And I’m curious if there was ever a wizard or someone from the magical community who lived in Great Hangleton, if they would have caught on. I think they would have. But yeah, it was interesting to get the Muggle perspective, and how it was just a great mystery. They couldn’t have said that they were… something that wouldn’t necessarily show on the outside, like they were all poisoned or something, but they couldn’t find that on the inside either.

Laura: And it is interesting, too, because you would think that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement would know…

Summer: Or get summoned.

Laura: … that Avada Kedavra was cast here. I mean, we know from all the letters Harry gets that they know when magic is performed in front of or around Muggles.

Summer: Great point.

Laura: So it raises the question, what was the Ministry involvement here? Or was the Ministry so bogged down by everything going on with the Grindelwald conflict at the time, that they just didn’t have the resources to address any of this and they let it skate on by without really investigating anything? We can fast forward now, after we’ve spent some time in the past, to 1994 where Frank Bryce awakens due to his bad leg, which we’ve already established, and when he goes to make himself some tea, he notices some lights glimmering in the upper windows of the Riddle House, and he has had it with these kids on his lawn!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “Get off of my lawn!”

Laura: “You kids get off my lawn!” So he still has the key to get into the Riddle House. He still remembers the layout. He lets himself in, sneaks upstairs, and he pretty quickly finds the source of the light. It’s a lit fireplace in one of the rooms inside of which are two men, and he overhears a conversation between some man that he can’t see with a croaky high-pitched voice and someone named Wormtail.

Andrew: Some baby man.

Laura: [laughs] Baby man. We’re going to start calling Voldemort “Baby man.”

Andrew: Man child, something like that.

Laura: Honestly, at this point in time, at least based on how the movies depict him, he looks like a fetus, like Fetusmort. Very disturbing.

Andrew: Not an attractive episode title. Crossed my mind for a second.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Please don’t use that.

Andrew: Nobody’s going to hit play on that one.

Micah: I have an option for you coming up.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: So we hear here that Wormtail is feeding Voldemort with a bottle.

Summer: So weird.

Eric: Aww. Does anyone else get a maternal instinct from this? This is really cute.

Summer: No.

[Micah laughs]

Laura: Yeah, but Voldemort is talking to Wormtail about how he needs to milk Nagini, and I know that he’s talking about her venom, right?

Micah: I hope so.

Laura: So Voldemort is drinking her venom out of a bottle.

Micah: Right, and so this led me down the road of wondering if Peter Pettigrew is in fact a certified snake milker because this is an actual job. It’s true; these people exist out in the world, and a snake milker is a type of herpetologist, which is basically a type of zoologist, and people who work in this highly specialized area extract venom from snakes and other reptiles which produce venom that could cause illness and death. They’re specially trained in handling these sensitive and protected animals, which often have legal protection. So to become a snake milker, it requires a lot of education. And there’s ultimately two main purposes for the extraction of venom: It’s either used for research, or it’s used to create anti-venom when people get bit by snakes to heal them. So I’m just wondering when Pettigrew learned how to do this. Does he just tell Nagini to roll over?

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: And this is our introduction to Nagini, too, right? The first time we’ve ever seen her.

Eric: Yes, and this is the day… well, I don’t want to spoil that.

Micah: Further abuse of her in this matter, actually.

Eric: Depending on Voldemort, what control he has over snakes… talking to snakes is different, but controlling them… he could just make her put up with it and not kill Pettigrew when Pettigrew does it. I can just imagine the sheer terror Pettigrew must feel every time he has to milk her fangs and hold her head down, whatever that is. But Micah, I do want to say thank you, especially on behalf of Meg who loves snakes and animals, to clear that up. This whole thing of “It’s time to milk Nagini,” I didn’t know what that meant for the longest time. The fact that this is a real process with real snakes, it’s a real thing because otherwise, it’s mildly concerning what this means. I don’t know.

Andrew: Was that the episode title you suggesting? “Certified snake milker”? Or is it still coming up?

[Eric laughs]

Micah: I think it works well.

Laura: Well, poor Frank is standing here at the doorway listening to this conversation. It’s clear that this “Wormtail” and this man who is restricted from view at the moment are talking about trying to plan some kind of murder, but they’re talking about waiting until after the Quidditch World Cup and Ministry involvement and using some boy named Harry Potter in order to achieve this plot that the men have in mind.

Summer: Yeah, and real quick, I know you’ve talked about it on the show before, I think in regards to the opening of Half-Blood Prince where Snape is calling Pettigrew “Wormtail,” but why the heck is Voldemort calling Pattigrew by his Marauders name? I always thought that was a little weird. And “Pettigrew” is a perfectly good Death Eater/Voldemort sidekick last name.

[Andrew laughs]

Summer: So I think it’s weird that he calls him by the Marauders name because before Pettigrew turned evil, the Marauders name was quite special during his time at Hogwarts, so I found that a little strange.

Eric: That’s a great point, especially because it’s isolating to readers who didn’t read the third book because who the hell is Wormtail? At least Pettigrew is a proper last surname. Maybe Frank Bryce would confuse it with Miss Pettigrew, who is a nice person. I don’t know. It’s possible also that Voldemort calls Wormtail this because he knows that Wormtail is the name that Peter had with his friends who he betrayed, and so this whole through line where Voldemort says to Peter in this chapter, “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have anywhere else to go, and you’re not loyal, you’re scared and cowardly,” etc., etc. He calls him “Wormtail,” and he’s Wormtail to all the Death Eaters probably as another way of just twisting the screw on Peter’s loyalty, which is worth garbage. So maybe Voldemort calls him that as a further form of torture.

Laura: Yeah, I mean, it could also be that they used that as a codename essentially for, again, back in the 80s, when Peter was acting as a double agent, right? And he probably didn’t want to have Death Eaters openly using the name Peter Pettigrew because of the events at the time. It would potentially compromise his position.

Summer: Good point.

Eric: That’s great.

Laura: It could be that’s why they were using it. But Eric, I want to talk about Peter’s cowardice here. Because obviously, Voldemort’s plan involves Harry, but Peter starts trying to convince him that another wizard could do; they don’t need to use Harry Potter for this. It’s going to be a lot harder to get close to Harry. They could arrive at the conclusion that we get in the summer following this book much sooner if they just went with another wizard. And he says things like, “My Lord, I do not say this out of concern for the boy. The boy is nothing to me.” But is that true?

Eric: No. I mean, two things I think. One, Pettigrew might, on some level, be aware that he owes Harry a life debt. He might on some level. It’s unknown how common the idea of life debts is because Dumbledore in the previous book said, “It’s deep magic,” so who knows who knows the deep magic? But the thing I think is more likely is that Pettigrew is scared of just having to confront Harry again, be in the same space as Harry again, because he escaped the last time that he was with him. Here’s another thought, maybe he’s even more terrified of what Ron would do to him. Because Harry is bound to be next to Ron whenever they go for Harry, and everyone at Hogwarts… Pettigrew just escaped this horrible situation where he was almost… everything. And so he doesn’t want to deal with… of course he’s scared.

Micah: And he would have to confront, presumably, Remus and Sirius again.

Eric: Oh, to get to Harry! Absolutely.

Micah: Right, there’s another layer of protection now that wasn’t there before.

Eric: There’s something there that wasn’t there before.

Laura: And it’s interesting, too, because it makes me wonder, what is Voldemort’s level of awareness about the events that transpired at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban? Because Harry ultimately made the choice not to kill Peter, right? They could have done it; Remus and Sirius were prepared to do it. Harry made the choice not to, and that directly led to Peter being able to escape. Dumbledore has that great line at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban where he says, “I doubt that Voldemort loves the idea of his servant being indebted to Harry Potter,” right? But I wonder at this point, does Voldemort know and is that why Peter is so nervous? Because he’s like, “Oh no, he’s going to find out”?

Micah: Well, we certainly see that Voldemort has, even in this form, a certain level of Legilimency that he’s using. He can sense when Pettigrew is not telling the truth, so I don’t know if he can read his mind completely, but I would assume at this point he doesn’t know about the debt owed to Harry. Maybe he finds out later on, or maybe he never finds out.

Eric: He underestimates the reasons behind how Pettigrew is feeling. So he insults him, he knows he’s weak, He knows his cowardice, but he doesn’t look further. I like to believe Voldemort doesn’t know about the life debt and never finds out because otherwise… here he needs Pettigrew, to survive, and could not get by without him, but by the time Malfoy Manor comes up in Book 7, he would have killed Pettigrew long before if he knew that he still owed Harry one.

Micah: The other thing that really comes across in this whole exchange is you get to see how truly vicious Voldemort is. We’ve seen a lot of the Tom Riddle side of him, which is a little bit more…

Eric: Polished?

Micah: There’s an attractive side there, whereas with Voldemort, he’s just a complete you-know-what to Pettigrew, and Pettigrew is there for it. He could easily just leave him on the chair and go run off into the night, and he chooses to stay.

Laura: Well, and it almost seems for a second like Pettigrew might be trying to massage the process so that he can do exactly that, Micah, because he’s like, “Give me just a couple days, I will go find a suitable wizard and come right back to you,” and Voldemort is like, “Okay, well, you’re the one who’s responsible for milking Nagini. You’re the one who’s responsible for feeding me. If you leave me for two days, I’ll die, so no.”

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Summer: I think Voldemort would send Nagini with him, or if he tried to escape would send Nagini right after him.

Micah: What if he put baby Voldemort in a backpack and just…?

Andrew: Aww, that’d be cute.

Laura: Like if he swaddled him?

Eric: A little Baby Bjorn.

[Laura and Summer laugh]

Laura: Somebody do the AI art of these.

Summer: In a stroller. In a covered stroller.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: And Micah, you have a great call-out specifically relevant to this moment where Wormtail is reunited with Voldemort about Trelawney’s prophecy.

Micah: Yeah, it’s the prophecy. It’s the prophecy coming true, and to the point of what we were talking about earlier with this first chapter, if you did read Prisoner of Azkaban and you heard the prophecy, you’re getting rewarded right in the first chapter of Goblet of Fire with Wormtail and Voldemort being reunited with each other.

Laura: We also get some pretty heavy-handed hints about the ritual to come at the end of the book. I had forgotten about some of these. So Voldemort says, “I have my reasons for using the boy, as I have already explained to you, and I will use no other.”

Summer: Yeah, so this is referring to the flesh, blood, and bone at the end of this book where Voldemort gets a human body again, and he needs a human’s blood to do that. As far as I’m aware, he could use anyone’s, but he chooses Harry’s because he wants the protection of that and the power of that and just because Voldemort is a little crazy. So are we to believe that he could have had a human body much quicker if he just used anyone else’s blood? He could have had a human body like, today, but he waits a whole year so he could get Harry’s.

Andrew: That was the impression I was getting.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what Pettigrew says.

Eric: Past a certain point, yes. I think that when Pettigrew found him, he was still like dust, basically. But through the combination of Nagini and the milking, he could get one today, but he might not have been able to get one two weeks ago, though.

Summer: No, I agree.

Andrew: He’s crazy and it’s Voldemort’s ego. He’s like, “I will get Harry. I want this you-know-what. He’s mine. We will wait for him.”

Summer: The Boy Who Lived.

Laura: Now this is my other favorite: Voldemort says to Wormtail, “I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers would give their right hands to perform.”

Summer: Ohh.

Andrew: That was way on the nose, way on the nose.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I picture Voldemort rolling his little baby body over to the camera and staring right into it. “Just y’all wait.”

Laura: He broke the fourth wall like in an episode of The Office.

Andrew: I want to apologize to Voldemort, too, for just using the phrase “On the nose” right there. I know that’s triggering to you.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: That was unintentional. My guy, I’m sorry.

Laura: He also says, “I’m not asking you to do it alone. By that time, my faithful servant will have rejoined us.” And at this stage, that term, “My faithful servant,” could refer to a few different people, right, Micah?

Micah: Totally. There was a lot of theorizing back in the day about who this faithful servant was or was going to be, and it could have been anybody from Barty Crouch, Jr., who we’ll meet a little bit later on in this book, Snape very much a popular opinion, and then also Karkaroff, who we learn is a former Death Eater once we meet him a little bit later on in this book as well. So there was a lot of theorizing going on. That was a fun time to be a Harry Potter book fan. But you always had to read between the lines with these types of comments that were made by different characters.

Laura: Or if you take Cursed Child as cannon, Cedric Diggory. [laughs]

Summer: So do we think it is Barty Crouch, Jr.? Is that who he’s referring to?

Laura: I think so. I think so. Well, this is where we get the Bertha Jorkins name drop. We learn that Peter ended up coming across her somehow at an inn they were staying at, which is an interesting series of events given that Bertha was a Ministry employee and she would know that Peter Pettigrew is supposed to be dead. So obviously, from the moment she came across Peter, she was marked. She was already dead. There was no way she was going to survive this. But Voldemort alludes to information that she gave that allowed him to hatch their plan. I think that the information he’s referring to is about the Triwizard Tournament.

Summer: I agree.

Micah: Yep, definitely.

Summer: And that’ll be a great cover-up for getting Harry to the graveyard.

Laura: Right.

Micah: There’s so many questions, too, for me, that now come into play with Nagini being a Horcrux and her also being milked for the purposes of bringing Voldemort – or at least sustaining him until he’s fully brought back – to life. Because number one, she’s now a Horcrux. And number two, we know from the Fantastic Beasts series that she’s a Maledictus, so she’s cursed in and of herself. There’s a lot I’m sure that we could dive into in terms of how Nagini is being treated by Voldemort, given what we do know about her, but do all those things in terms of the blood and the cursed nature of her blood kind of invigorate Voldemort in a way?

Laura: Yeah, I think so.

Andrew: We mentioned also the Memory Charm, Peter muttering something about that, and I thought that was interesting because it also basically confirms that Wormtail doesn’t know what Voldemort is truly doing. Certainly not what it takes to create a Horcrux, if he’s suggesting something as measly as a Memory Charm. No, we’ve got to do something much greater.

Micah: It also shows he’s kind of stupid, too, because if you just put a Memory Charm on her, presumably there are witches and wizards back at the Ministry who could easily unravel it, and then all of a sudden – and I think Voldemort actually says this – they’re going to know things that they shouldn’t know or that he can’t afford for them to know. So it just shows you, I don’t know, maybe Wormtail is just… in the moment he’s very overwhelmed by everything that’s going on and he can’t think straight, but yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I think the thing is Wormtail is absolutely a baddie, and not in a good way. You can be a baddie in a good way, but he is not a baddie in a good way. He’s a baddie in a very evasive, sneaky way. He doesn’t want to get his own hands dirty, right? So he’s responsible for the Potters’ death, but he didn’t directly kill them, right? And he doesn’t have the stomach to be close to violent activity, it seems. So while he was perfectly happy to hand the Potters over to Voldemort, while he was perfectly happy to hand Bertha Jorkins over to Voldemort, he doesn’t want to have to witness any murder, right? And it is so interesting as we’re talking about the death of Bertha Jorkins, the creation of Nagini as a Horcrux, we know that she is the last Horcrux that he created. So the timing of this is super interesting that Voldemort creates his seventh and final Horcrux somewhere between Book 3 and Book 4. We just don’t know it at this stage as readers. Go ahead, Summer.

Summer: I found that very interesting too. In my mind I was always like, “Oh, they were all created before he came to murder the Potters and baby Harry overpowered him.” So I find that very interesting, too, that he gets a body again and then he wants to make another Horcrux even though he’s already so struggling to survive so much.

Laura: Yeah, no, it’s a great call-out because I had forgotten about the timing of this, too, until I read the chapter and I was like, “Oh my God.” Without even knowing it, we get direct descriptions of the creation of two Horcruxes in this chapter, which which is really, really cool. Well, Frank is not interested in hanging around at this point. He decides for the first time in 50 years, “Okay, maybe I can trust the police with this one thing, so I’m going to make a break for it and go get the police involved.” But before he can do that, Nagini is slithering towards him down the hallway. And I’m calling her Nagini the narc.

Micah: There’s a title.

Eric: That’s an episode title! There we go.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We found it.

Laura: Nagini the narc tells Voldemort that Frank is outside the door.

Eric: Wait, is she a narc? Or is she a snake narc a.k.a. snarc?

Laura: I love that. Nagini the snarc. And again, this is another case where it’s similar to Bertha Jorkins. Frank is already dead, right? He doesn’t die for a few more minutes. Voldemort invites him into the room, they converse for a few minutes, but it is so clear that it is effectively lights out for Frank. And I loved the description from Frank’s point of view of Voldemort performing the Killing Curse on him because Voldemort’s current physical state is so horrifying that it receives no description. We just read about Frank being so horrified looking at him that he’s screaming. So Frank is so horrified at the sight of Voldemort that he is screaming, right as Voldemort casts the Killing Curse. Frank of course has no point of reference for the Killing Curse, so he doesn’t even catch what it is before he’s unfortunately dead on the floor.

Micah: Yeah, and it made me wonder: How is this version of Voldemort strong enough, number one, to use a wand, and number two, to cast the Killing Curse? Because we know that it does take a tremendous amount of energy, it does affect you, it rips your soul. So it seems like Voldemort in such a weakened state to be able to do this… he must be pure evil. There’s just no other way around it.

Eric: That was exactly the phrase I was thinking in my head when you were talking. Pure evil. He’s got to be pure evil. Also, I assume it gets easier the more times you do it, which is a sad thought.

Summer: Yeah, maybe it doesn’t take Voldemort as much power as it would take…

Eric: Well, it’s like how Harry with the Patronus is like… sometimes by the end of it, “Expecto Patronum!” and it’s like, immediately this whole thing, but it took him some.

Andrew: Yeah. Another day, another Horcrux. [imitates Voldemort] “Another day, another Horcrux.”

[Eric laughs]

Laura: Well, and Voldemort’s soul is irreparably damaged at this point, right? Because he’s created seven Horcruxes at this point. His soul is just ripped to pieces, so it probably doesn’t cost him much of anything to do this. But I’m very interested in how something like this might be portrayed in the TV show, and I really hope that the first episode of the Goblet of Fire season really focuses on this chapter, because as we talked about with the movie commentary, we didn’t get any of this extra context, which really adds to the mystery of this book.

Micah: I was just going to connect the threads one final time here within the same chapter, actually, because it’s coming full circle, right? Voldemort kills his father and his grandparents in this house, Frank is blamed for it, and then at the end of this chapter, it’s Frank who is killed in the Riddle House in exactly the same way. And exactly the same facial reactions, too, right?

Eric: Oh man, what are the locals going to say about that?

Micah: Is the maid going to find him?

Laura: Yeah, who are they going to blame? [laughs]

Micah: Or do you think Nagini just eats him?

Eric: Yeah, Nagini probably eats him.

Laura: Aww, yeah, probably. Ew.

Eric: “Nagini, dinner.”

Laura: That’s her girl dinner.

[Everyone laughs]

Summer: Oh no.

Eric: Way to stay relevant, Laura.

Andrew: With “seemingly ranch.” Swifties will understand that.

Summer: I got the reference, Andrew.

Andrew: Okay, okay.

Laura: So this chapter ends with revisiting the hero of the series, with noting that 200 miles or so away, Harry Potter wakes up with a start, implying that he has witnessed the events of this chapter in his dreams.

Andrew: Hmm, speaking of Horcruxes, it’s almost like there’s a connection here!

Summer: Almost.

Laura: We don’t know it, but this is the third Horcrux that gets mentioned in this chapter.

Andrew: You’re right. Yeah.

Eric: [laughs] Man! The difference between what Harry has dreamt before and what he’s presumably “dreaming” now is that it’s a window into the present. Harry is basically astral projecting. Harry is inhabiting Voldemort. The Horcrux is traveling to connect and touch off of its older… this comes up bigger in Book 5, when Harry is able to witness intimately conversations that Voldemort is having with his Death Eaters. That’s exactly what this is. The difference is Harry is not conscious yet when this happens, but I think Harry’s unconscious mind is having this link. The reason this is happening for the first time is that Voldemort is getting stronger, so Voldemort is more of a person and the brain patterns can relate. It’s basically just this magical special power that Harry has and is just turning on, and it’s extremely exciting. And it’s not touched on the rest of this entire book, but it’s amazing what’s coming. The idea that that happens in the twixt between these first two chapters of Book 4 shows that J.K. Rowling also knew exactly where she was going with this, and it’s heating up. It’s amazing.

Summer: Yeah, I like the connection that you make that it’s probably because Voldemort has a body and so their minds are actually able to connect, whereas in the past, Harry was connected to Voldemort only through his scar and the pains in his scar. So maybe Voldemort in whatever form he was in still had the slight power to trigger Harry’s scar paining, but not give these full visions to him. But now that he’s grown stronger, they get full visions/dreams. Very interesting.

Laura: It is. Well, we’ll pick up with Harry next week when we cover Chapter 2, but I think for now it’s time for us to go ahead and get into MVP of the week.


MVP of the Week


[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: I’m going to give it to Wormtail. Look, he’s super helpful and he’s giving legs to Voldemort’s plan.

Summer: [laughs] Oh my God. I just understood what you meant by that.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: I thought a lot about this because I feel like there’s only really one character in this chapter who deserves MVP who’s redeemable, but I think I’m going to have to give it to Voldemort.

Andrew: Wow.

Laura: Mainly because he’s a very effective planner. He had a goal. He’s seeing the goal through. You gotta give it to him for the motivation.

Eric: So MVP, in this case, is most Voldy the person of the week.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: Our friend Tyler, who’s been on the show once or twice, will be very happy with this pick, I think, Laura.

Laura: I know. Thank you. I’ll have Tyler’s endorsement. That’s all I need.

Eric: I’m going to counteract a Slytherin MVP with a Gryffindor one. Frank used his wartime bravery, and if he had gone to Hogwarts, would have been a Gryffindor. The willingness to set aside his police differences, also that trust in the system that intrinsically comes back to him… just love Frank Bryce.

Micah: My MVP goes to Nagini for being milked and providing Voldemort with the sustenance he needs to go on. Because without Nagini, who knows? Voldemort just… poof.

Laura: Nice Slughorn reference.

Summer: I’m going to echo Eric and choose Frank Bryce because he literally confronted Voldemort face to face and he says something like, “Turn around and face me like a man,” which I thought was very brave of him. And he says he goes in to talk to Voldemort because he hears that Voldemort is planning another murder of this Harry Potter boy and he wants to try to stop him. It’s very brave and valiant of him. So Frank Bryce gets two this week.

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Andrew: Next week we will discuss Goblet of Fire Chapter 2, maybe Chapter 3 as well. I’m heading up next week’s discussion. I looked ahead to Chapter 2…

Micah: Are you sure?

Andrew: It looked a little light. We’ll see. So maybe think about reading Chapter 3 as well. We will see later in the week as we really get planning that episode. And now it’s time for Quizzitch!


Quizzitch


[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question: Who found the Riddle family dead? And some people did submit the wrong answers this week, but the correct answer we’re looking for is the maid. Correct answers were submitted by Forrest the 10-year-old who’s back; Frank’s forgotten kettle choo-choo…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Frank I’ll-mow-your-lawn-anytime Bryce; Peter the snake milker; Moral fiber PSA you need 25 grams every day; Will the real bad Barty please stand up; Elphias Doge’s dodgy leg; I bet if Draco’s carpet matches – oh God – his drapes they’d probably look like Justin Timberlake’s ramen noodle hairdo…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: What happened to this segment?

Eric: [laughs] What happened to this whole segment? Dobby had a sock, now Dobby has a knife…

[Everyone laughs]

Summer: Aww.

Eric: Talia loves bagels…

Summer: Oh my god. I’m crying.

Micah: They’re taking after me clearly. [laughs]

Laura: Man, this is… I told you, this is 50% of why I do this show, is just hearing all these names.

Eric: Oh man. Shout-out to everybody. Somebody submitted as “Hey y’all,” somebody else said, “It’s my birthday today October 7.” Congrats. And “Mom who thinks some fan fiction is canon.” Yeah, that’s me too. And I think some canon is fan fiction, so there we go.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Here is next week’s Quizzitch question.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: In opposition of his new diet, what did Dudley Dursley throw out the window? Submit your answer to us on the MuggleCast website at MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch.

[Quizzitch music ends]

Micah: It wasn’t Harry.

Eric: He does not throw Harry out the window.

Micah: This is not Game of Thrones.

Eric: Click on “Quizzitch” on the main nav, if you’re on our website checking out the new transcripts that are up there! Last couple episodes are up there. Check them out. There’s a transcripts page. You’ll see it.

Andrew: Transcripts are brought to you by listener support. Your support helps us get those transcripts done. So if you want to support us like Summer does – and get a beanie like she just put on, the MuggleCast beanie, Laura has been supporting it today as well – you can head over to Patreon.com/MuggleCast and support us there for between $2-10 per month, and depending on what tier you pledge at, you get a variety of benefits. The Slug Club level is the $10 level and that’s where you get a new physical gift every year. And by the way, for $5 a month and higher patrons, we will be sending out the Collector’s Club stickers in the next few weeks, I think. I actually just got a notification this morning that the stickers have shipped and are on their way to us, so can’t wait to see those and can’t wait to get them out to everybody. You can also support us on Apple Podcasts for just $2.99 a month. You can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcast app. If you’re enjoying MuggleCast and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about the show, and we would also appreciate if you left us a review in your favorite podcast app. And don’t forget to follow us on social media; our username is @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads. Summer, thanks so much for joining us today. You were awesome.

Summer: Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. I had a fantastic time, and so glad I got to start off Goblet of Fire with all of y’all.

Andrew: Yes. Another exciting Chapter by Chapter series is ahead. All right, well, that does it for this week’s episode. Thanks, everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Summer: And I’m Summer.

Andrew: Bye, everybody.

Laura: Bye, y’all.

Transcript #629

 

MuggleCast 629 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #629, ‘Goblet of Fire’ Movie Commentary Track!


Andrew Sims: Hi, everyone. This episode was recorded on Friday, September 22, and since then, legendary actor Michael Gambon, who played Dumbledore in the last six Harry Potter movies, died on September 28. We will talk about his legacy on a future episode of MuggleCast, but we wanted to give you a heads-up that our thoughts on his portrayal in this movie were recorded prior to his passing. And Laura has an important reminder for everybody.

Laura Tee: Just wanted to give y’all a final reminder about the 2023 MuggleCast listener survey. This is your last week to complete the survey if you haven’t had a chance to so far. It will close end of day this Friday, October 6. Again, we want to know what you love about the show, what you think we could be doing better, and what other content you’d be interested in us branching out to into the future. We’re also asking anyone who supports us on our Patreon about y’all’s experience so that we can continue to improve on the content that we’re providing over there, and the survey is open to everyone whether you’re a Patreon supporter or not. Again, you can find links to it through our website, our show notes, and across our various social media channels. Thank you again so much to everyone who’s completed the survey so far, and thanks in advance to anyone who’s able to get their response in before October 6. We really couldn’t do the show without y’all.


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly right into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: We have a special episode for everybody today. We have yet to do this. It was released 18 years ago, and we’re finally getting around to doing it: our Goblet of Fire movie commentary.

Everyone: Woo!

Andrew: This is partly to get us all on the same page for our Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter series, which will kick off next week, actually. And this is going to be great, probably for listeners too, because inevitably, when we’re doing Chapter by Chapter, we bring up the movie! So we’re going to go in having just watched the film, and we’ll be ready to talk about it over the next billion weeks as we go chapter by chapter through Goblet of Fire because last time I checked, there are about a billion chapters. So for those listening, we will not be playing the audio from the movie; you have to bring your own copy of the movie to this commentary track, so maybe pause now and go find a copy of Goblet of Fire. This is the standard edition, no advertising either, so if you if you want to watch it through HBO Max, for example, you can’t watch it with the ad tier; you’re probably going to fall out of sync with us. So where to sync up with us so we all are watching the same thing at the same time? Hit play on the movie, and then once the camera goes fully through the WB logo, that’s when you hit pause, and that’s where Eric, Micah, Laura, and I are all paused right now on our own copies. So again, once the camera is fully through the WB logo, hit pause. For me on my digital edition, that’s at the 19 second mark of this movie. You will see a skull. And maybe if you feel like it’s a little out of sync for you, then you can back up and try again. But this isn’t going to be a perfect sync; it might be off by a second or two, but that’s okay. It’s kind of impossible to time this perfectly. Even the four of us won’t be timed perfectly, probably. [laughs]

Laura: No, I know, because as soon as you said there’s going to be a skull, I was like, “Well, I don’t have a skull.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, it’s me, you guys. I’m here. Hello.

Andrew: Oh, I get it. Once you see the Eric Scull. That’s when you’re at the right point.

Eric: Yes, yes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But let’s get started because we have much a motion picture to get through, to watch and enjoy, over the next two and a half hours. So on 3! On 3! We’re all going to hit play.

Micah: On 3?

Eric: On 3, not the imaginary fourth beat?

Laura: Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Micah: What?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: You have the wrong movie up. Tell me you have the wrong movie up.

Eric: What happened?

Micah: That’s why you didn’t see the skull.

Laura: Yeah, no, I totally had Order of the Phoenix.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Laura!

Eric: It would have been funny. We would have seen how many minutes in she got before she’s like, “Wait a minute, what?”

Andrew: It would have been like 30 seconds, I bet, or maybe even less, like 10 seconds.

Laura: [laughs] So sorry for this delay.

Eric: Look for the skull. Wait for the skull.

Andrew: You know, we all have shots ready, and I think Laura maybe took hers a little early.

Laura: Yeah, okay. No, no, I definitely did not as a matter of fact.

Andrew: So while Laura gets the movie ready and while everybody gets their movie all synched up…

Laura: I’m ready.

Andrew: Okay. All right. So on 3, we are going to press play. 1, 2, 3.

Laura: All right.


Frank Bryce and the Riddle House


Andrew: And Laura, you’re seeing Goblet of Fire, not Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner, Order…?

Laura: I am seeing skulls and Nagini, so I think I’m in the right place.

Andrew: Oh, that was your dreams last night, Laura. We’re talking about the movie right now.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: All right. Well, now that the film has rolled, maybe we should share because this is only about a half hour away. What shot did we bring for the commentary? A shot of alcohol, and we did this because of course in this movie there’s that iconic line: “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? Did ya put your name in the Goblet of Fire?” Dumbledore said not so calmly. So because it’s such an iconic moment in the history of the Harry Potter fandom, we thought we should have a shot ready for that?

Eric: See, I misheard what the directive was. I thought we were waiting for the actual calmest line delivery in the movie, and we each take shots at different moments depending on what we think the calmest line is because it sure as shit ain’t “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?” Sorry, are we allowed to swear?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Anyway, it’s unhinged. It’s Friday night.

Andrew: It is. But yeah, so I have Gray Whale gin. It’s a favorite gin of mine.

Eric: Looks like Frank Bryce is preparing something.

Andrew: [laughs] He was like, “Wait, what? I want in.”

Laura: I have Angel’s Envy, which is a Kentucky bourbon that is aged in wine barrels, so it’s got a very nice flavor.

Andrew: Very nice.

Micah: Do you think they repurposed the maze for what he’s walking through right now?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I think so. He’s got to watch out for the branches.

Laura: That’s so funny.

Andrew: Some budget cuts.

Micah: I have Powers Iris whiskey.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: And I have an old standby, Woodford Reserve rye.

Andrew: Everybody’s got something a little fancy!

Eric: A little fancy. I just have this around the house.

Micah: Go big or go home.

Eric: Yeah, we never would have done this if we did a Goblet of Fire commentary in 2005.

Micah: Yes, we would have. We just wouldn’t have advertised it publicly.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: This would all be sitting here bathtub in a hotel room somewhere.

Eric: Would you guys want to live in the Riddle house? These wood-paneled walls, sweeping staircases… kind of creepy.

Andrew: Absolutely positively not. I get scared very easily. I mean, I love this type of thing for Halloween season, but yeah, no. I also have on closed captioning to help with today’s commentary because between here and y’all…

Micah: I think it’s necessary.

Andrew: It is.

Laura: I agree.

Andrew: There’s lot of talk about that, too, on the Internet. It’s getting harder to hear movies.

Eric: Yeah, there’s that Scooby-Doo image, I think it’s Velma. She’s on the ground looking for glasses, but it says, “I can’t hear without my subtitles.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Yeah, that’s relatable.

Micah: I want to say, I’m fairly impressed that Frank Bryce is not totally freaked out yet.

Eric: Well, he was expecting children. Turns out… oh man.

Laura: I really love that they kept that in the movie.

Eric: Which?

Laura: The whole Frank Bryce introduction.

Eric: There was a lot they didn’t keep, though. He didn’t hear the whole plot.

Laura: Right.


The Quidditch World Cup


Eric: It reeks to me of the bare minimum because you need to see Barty Crouch once before you see him at the end. Harry is already at the Quidditch World Cup.

Micah: I love how Ron pulls up the sheets as if he’s covering his boobs.

Eric: I sleep like that.

Laura: [laughs] Well yeah, they’re trying to communicate that he’s starting to catch feelings. He’s self-conscious.

Eric: This is a great moment in the book, the Portkey. He’s always hanging out in trees.

Micah: No matter the franchise.

Laura: Well, he’s not sparkly in this one.

Eric: Well, that’s as good an entrance as any.

Laura: My favorite effect is about to come up where they’re arriving at the World Cup from the Portkey, and Cedric and two others just come fluttering down. [laughs] I think it’s so hilarious.

Eric: Like they can choose it. Like they can choose their landing.

Andrew: I’m going to say something people probably aren’t going to like: I have never really been a fan of the Quidditch World Cup in the book or movie.

Laura: Oh, I loved it in the book.

Andrew: I guess maybe part of me just flashes back to reading this the first time, and I was just like, “I’d rather be at Hogwarts than at this thing.”

Eric: I think for me, it’s an opportunity for world building without stakes being super high. I mean, they do get high with a Death Eaters later, but you get to see all these cultures and kind of…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: That’s such a tacky shot.

Micah: Are those the Cliffs of Moher? Or not?

Eric: They’re Dover, maybe.

Andrew: Robert Pattinson was practicing his tacky flying through the air for Twilight in that shot.

Eric: Amazing.

Micah: But come on Andrew. Sports, bro.

Andrew: Spider monkey! Yeah, exactly, like Paraiso Flower said.

Eric: I think they filmed Broadchurch over by those cliffs.

Micah: Oh, there goes the house-elves.

Andrew: Blink and you’ll miss ’em.

Eric: I do like the low flying broom people. That’s fun.

Andrew: That is cool.

Laura: I do feel like they captured the environment of the Quidditch World Cup really well. This is very close to what I imagined when I was reading it.

Eric: I agree.

Andrew: It is exciting.

Micah: But I forget, Laura, do you know how many chapters about the Quidditch World Cup takes up in Goblet of Fire? It’s more than we think, right?

Laura: Yeah. They don’t spend all that much time on it in the movie.

Eric: There’s the line I’m drinking to. Hang on. It’s about to get it… not the “Feet off the table.” Not that one.

Andrew: Oh, “I love magic.”

Eric: “I love magic!” There we go. Who doesn’t love magic?

Micah: Cheese.

Andrew: What you were just saying, Laura, I think that was part of the reason why I was turned off by it when reading, because it’s longer in the book.

Micah: It’s like camping.

Eric: I gotta get my trusty Fantastic Beasts stopwatch out and figure out how much gameplay we actually see. I’m going to time this.

Andrew: And understandably so that it moves so quick in the movie.

Eric: Oh, Jason Isaacs!

Laura: Aw man, he’s my favorite.

Eric: I missed Jason Isaacs in Harry Potter all throughout the third movie, and I’m so glad he’s back.

Micah: I love how he says, “Don’t boast,” but he just made his rain comment.

Laura: He’s so good. I know that Jason Isaacs did play Captain Hook, but I will say sometimes his portrayal of Lucius gives me Captain Hook vibes.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: Fair enough.

Laura: And it’s not a bad thing, it’s just funny.

Eric: Yeah, I mean, Jason Isaacs is famous for villains.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Micah: And these actually are really good seats. No?

Andrew: Oh, I see what you’re saying.

Eric: Micah, you’re the sports guy. What do you think one of those seats would fetch in today’s economy?

Micah: Well, this is an international event, right? That doesn’t happen very often. So even though I’m inclined to say because they’re so high up that they would be cheap, I don’t know. A couple 100 euros.

Eric: Yeah, so kinda like not a cheap seat in the house? And they’ll always sell out no matter what. Very aggressive.

Laura: I just have to say, this stadium makes my anxiety triggered, I think because it looks so steep.

Eric: Yeah, this is the thing you pay to go see in Chicago where you go out on the glass ledge and you can look below you, the ledge at the Sears Tower. That’s what this is. That’s what Fudge is standing on.

Laura: Awful.

Eric: That was actually a good shot. Everything tracking wise, on Robert Hardy, I think his name is.

Laura: Oh, and hey, look, no game.

Eric: Oh, 3.48 seconds. He said, “Let it begin,” and then it was something else.

Laura: I guess we can’t hold it against Hogwarts Legacy. They didn’t even want to do Quidditch in the movies sometimes.

Eric: At least they didn’t over-promise and under-deliver.

Laura: Right.

Micah: Is that Ginny’s one line in the movie?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, blink and you’ll miss it.

Andrew: When we were hanging out with our patrons the other day in our Slug Club hangout, we were talking, I think, a little bit about how I remember it being reported that WB was seriously considering splitting this movie into two. Right?

Eric: Yeah, it was definitely the first time they really, really thought about it.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: They should have. I think it really would have been an improvement. You could have even retconned, you could have explained the Marauders even though that technically is Book 3 stuff. You could have made up for Movie 3’s failings, and shortcomings, I should say, if you had split the fourth one.

Micah: I never really liked how this all played itself out because it would be so easy for somebody to find Harry. Am I the only one?

Eric: No, you’re right. It’s definitely so easy.

Andrew: So easy?

Micah: Yeah, once he gets kicked in the face here.

Laura: [laughs] And they’re like, “Oh, yep, round glasses, scar…”

Micah: All these people are running around him and none of the Death Eaters come across him. Even before Barty Crouch, Jr. shows up.

Eric: Well, they burned it down.

Laura: Is that how it happens in the book? Does Harry get knocked out? I don’t remember.

Eric: I think there is a lapse in time. They get separated and they’re all looking for each other. I will say, this scene in the LEGO game slaps. This level of the LEGO game where everything’s on fire and you’re at the campground. It’s one of the better levels.

Laura: Oh, is David Tennant not doing the weird tick thing yet?

Andrew: We wait with anticipation.

Micah: Oh, now they show up. How convenient.

Eric: Confirmed, David Tennant is scared of redheads. “Not a ginger.” Oh man. Harry’s scar hurts for… oh, okay. Hello, Aurors. Thanks, Hermione, for not explaining anything.

Laura: [laughs] Is that another line they took from another character?

Eric: I bet, yeah.

Laura: That didn’t sound very convincing, Harry.

Micah: No, it didn’t.

Laura: Like, “Oh, uh, over there…”

Eric: “I saw your son tonight, Barty.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: “I only saw his tongue.” Okay, a little ominous, a little foreboding.


Beauxbatons and Durmstrang arrive


Eric: Oh, they’re leaving Hogwarts. [laughs] Doesn’t the train usually go the other way?

Laura: I will say, I feel like I’m remembering one of my main critiques of this movie, which is that the transitions feel very choppy.

Andrew: Do you think that’s partly because they have so much to cram in?

Laura: Yes, 100%.

Eric: I think it’s also because we know what goes between the scenes. I think for the average movie goer, it’s probably fine.

Laura: Yeah, I’m sure it is.

Eric: People who don’t know the Quidditch World Cup wasn’t hours before the train to Hogwarts. But otherwise, I completely agree.

Micah: Oh, yeah.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: We were all thinking it. Micah said it.

Andrew: What I’m thinking is it’s so cool that you get to be on this train now in Universal. And they did it perfectly. It’s wild that they actually let you go on this train there. [laughs]

Eric: It’s really cool. It’s a shame Emma Watson couldn’t make it. But other than that…

Andrew: Ah, for the narration, the video you’re referring to?

Laura: Well, Dan didn’t either, right?

Eric: He at least get a sound alike.

Andrew: Yeah, just the person they got to play Hermione was not a good choice

Laura: No. Although, I felt like the person they got to play Hermione sounded maybe a little bit more like… shoot.

Micah: Isn’t that where Dumbledore is buried?

Laura: Yeah, I think so.

Andrew: I think that’s right, yeah.

Eric: Not yet, but yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Too soon.

Eric: Unless he’s time traveling.

Micah: You know that guy. You never know.

Laura: I thought she sounded a lot like the Jim Dale interpretation of Hermione.

Eric: Oh! I wonder if they got Jim Dale to do it.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh my gosh.

Laura: They were like, “Do you just want to play the shadow too? We’ll just get you in there.” Wow, we’re already off. Here they come. Hagrid!

Micah: Air traffic control Hagrid.

Eric: Add that to his CV.

Andrew: I do love that shot, though. I think that’s fun.

Eric: It’s a cool shot.

Micah: It is well done. I wonder if he was drunk.

Eric: Who’s driving that carriage?

Micah: I think the person driving the carriage is drunk.

Eric: Yeah, I was going to say, it’s hard to believe it’s the best and brightest in there.

Andrew: The best and brightest.

Laura: Is this the first movie in the series where we really started getting very tonally dark?

Eric: Uh, yeah. I mean, I really argue that Azkaban holds that, but yeah, it’s next to impossible to see some of these shots.

Andrew: [laughs] Classic Filch moment as well.

Eric: Why?

Andrew: Look at all these long-haired students.

Micah: The dude can barely breathe. Get him a Stairmaster or something he can use on the side.

Andrew: Is he not climbing stairs every day at Hogwarts?

Micah: I mean, but he needs help.

Laura: Listen, he may come across as pathetic and defenseless here, but we know for a fact that he murdered two very prominent Starks, so don’t underestimate him.

Andrew: Oooh.

Eric: Yeah, and he did it without ever getting up from a chair.

Laura: Right.

Micah: Well, three if you count the baby that was on the way.

Eric: Oh, that is too soon.

Laura: And the baby who was going to be called at Eddard. Yikes. So, interesting change here, them making Beauxbatons and Durmstrang just single-gender schools. In the books, they weren’t.

Eric: Right, and Chloé had a good point about this in our meeting recently too, that it diminishes…

Laura: Oh, they fart butterflies. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, wow, totally remember that in the books.

Micah: Wait, you don’t, Laura?

Laura: Wait, what?

Micah: Fart butterflies?

Laura: No, I don’t. You can ask Marc. He’ll confirm. I definitely don’t. [laughs]

Eric: I would like a cannon movie explanation for why Gabrielle and Olympe are dressed differently, but everyone else is in blue, but oh well.

Andrew: I’ve always loved these entrances.

Eric: I mean, they’re momentous.

Andrew: Right. And the music.

Eric: Yeah, the score is actually really good this whole movie. It’s one of the best scores.

Andrew: Of course, they brought this over to the theme park, these little shows, these entrances.

Eric: I feel bad for the floor.

Laura: I like how Krum is just like, “I don’t have to be part of the performance.” [laughs] I wonder how long they practiced.

Micah: Now, was that a phoenix to honor Dumbledore?

Eric: Oh, maybe.

Micah: Meanwhile, my guy can’t even get a chariot or anything to take him to Hogwarts. He’s just slogging through the mud.

Eric: I feel like Brendan Gleeson would walk to Hogwarts.

Laura: He’s like, “Don’t worry, I got ’em covered.” Same.

Eric: Wonder who could outdrink the other.

Laura: Or death.

Eric: [laughs] I mean, look at ice cream. That ice cream is stacked so tall.

Andrew: It’s incredible.

Laura: Yeah, the desserts are unparalleled.

Eric: I bet the second you take one of those scoops, it replenishes.

Andrew: Totally. Thank you, house-elves down below.

Laura: Yeah, all because there’s some poor house-elf waiting below in the kitchens just being like, “Ugh.”

Andrew: But we won’t learn about him in this movie. Oh!

Laura: “House-elves? What elves?”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Why does the Hogwarts ceiling suddenly deliver plot information to us?

Laura: So that we can all sit here and go, “That’s suspicious.”

Eric: I guess so.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: The people who haven’t read the book: “That sure is suspicious.”

Micah: Or were not invented until Goblet of Fire.

Eric: Right.

Andrew: Look at McGonagall being all nervous to hype up the fear.

Eric: Yeah, that’s definitely what’s happening. 100%. If you get McGonagall to gasp, you know you’d better watch out. Where’s his chair? They knew he was coming. Maybe it’s bubble juice.

Laura: Let’s make it really clear.

Micah: Early on. Now, what was the reason for portraying Barty Crouch, Sr. this way? Is he just nervous?

Eric: You know, add that to the list of things to ask the director. But yeah, I mean, both Crouch, Sr., and Bagman, who’s not in this movie at all, were very differently characterized in the book. And Barty Crouch, Sr., though he’s not necessarily a good character, made some really important choices that later blow up in his face and you don’t really get that.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t know if they were trying to go for him being kind of broken because of everything that happened with his son. Maybe they were choosing that interpretation.

Eric: I like that.

Laura: Because what parent wouldn’t be completely shaken to their core to find out that their child is basically a fascist of some sort?

Eric: Fair enough. Nowadays, a lot of parents are accusing their kids of joining cults. Oh no, I’m sure this is aboveboard.

Laura: Hey, speaking of cults, he was in one.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Yeah! And yet Dumbledore embraced him moments ago and was like, “Igor, old friend.”

Eric: Four if you count your mother.


Defense Against the Dark Arts


Andrew: I do love this performance. It’s such a good performance.

Laura: He’s great.

Eric: It’s really good, yeah. If you’ve seen Brendan Gleeson do other stuff, it’s crazy because he’s also so good in that but it’s different.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s just one of those… and I hate to be the Hollywood person who’s like, “This performance in this movie is just amazing,” but some performances just stick with you and this is one of them.

Eric: It’s visceral! He threw the chalk.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: And with the magical eye and the scar, it’s just like, oh yeah.

Eric: Yeah, whoever animated the eye was not the same person that did Dobby because it’s so much better.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Eric and Micah laugh]

Micah: And is this fully replicated in the books too? Because we know Ron’s fear of spiders.

Eric: He does show them, yeah, each of the curses, but…

Laura: I don’t remember what he uses them on, though.

Micah: Is that even a spider?

Eric: I’ve always wondered that. That is more like a…

Micah: It’s gross, whatever the hell it is.

Eric: Oh, poor Crabbe. If I had one of those land on my head, it would lead me to smoking.

Laura: This is so good.

Eric: I love the mime hitting where like, they couldn’t actually hit each other. The music here again…

Laura: This was so well written. Good grief.

Eric: Is this the one movie that Steve Kloves didn’t do?

Andrew: I thought it was Movie 5.

Eric: Oh, you’re probably right, because that was David Yates’s first movie and he brought on a guy he had worked with before.

Andrew: Oh, did he? That was why?

Eric: Yeah, they had worked together exclusively as a writer and director team.

Andrew: I see.

Eric: I think that’s right. I’ll look that up.

Micah: Yeah, was it Mike Goldenberg?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, that does sound right. Do you guys remember one of my biggest mistakes on MuggleNet?

Eric: No. I’m sure you’re going to tell us.

Andrew: I’m trying to remember. I just remember it was a big mistake. I think I misreported something about Michael Goldenberg or something like that. Whatever I did, I screwed up bad. Like, it was just wrong news-wise.

Eric: Oh, no.

Andrew: And I remember WB being really mad at me. The publicist I worked with was not happy with me. So what they did to respond to whatever the screw-up was – I really wish I remembered – was they had Michael Goldenberg do an interview with the Leaky Cauldron. [laughs]

Eric: Oh no!

Andrew: To set the record straight. Do you remember that? And I remember being on vacation at the time, and I was just like.. it ruined the vacation. I was just so embarrassed that I’d screwed up.

Eric: Andrew, I forgive you.

Andrew: Oh, thank you. I can finally find peace.

Eric: That’s ridiculous. I can’t believe they did that. But okay, Michael Goldenberg, who wrote the Green Lantern film with Ryan Reynolds, okay, also wrote the Peter Pan with Jason Isaacs, hello, as Captain Hook, Laura.

Laura: Connecting the threads.

Eric: And he wrote Contact, which is probably the best movie. Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey. It’s incredible. That redeems him for me.

Laura: There it is.

Micah: Does your soul rip when you kill a spider?

Eric: No, that’s not the same. I think it’s human souls.

Laura: Right, only human souls matter, Micah.

Eric: Basically. I like the Escher-esque stairs in the back. They go up the other direction.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Oh, Neville. Never going to be the same.

Micah: This is where Luna yells at Harry later on in the series. I don’t think they ever did a very good job, though, of explaining how messed up this actually was. I mean, we do get the trial flashback in the Pensieve a little bit later on, but it’s just not overly explained the level to which it’s messed up.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Right. And in the books, even though this scene in the movie that we just saw where Moody comes and gets Neville is like, sort of tender? In the book, Barty Crouch, Jr. really does guide and mentor Neville and Harry. It’s a big deal that the first person to ever tell Harry he should catch Dark wizards was a Dark wizard. I would actually argue that in the book, his motives and loyalties are a lot more nuanced than they are in the movie. I don’t know if you guys would agree.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I’m excited to read the book through that lens because it’s been a while since I’ve read Goblet.


The Goblet of Fire


Eric: Same, I’m looking so forward to it. All right, whose hair is longer right now? Hermione’s or the twins’?

Andrew: [laughs] It’s got to be Hermione, but I like the joke.

Eric: Only because hers is curled. Yeah, so if she straightened it…

Micah: It’s close.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. Because it’s curly, I think that she’s got the upper hand.

Eric: Yeah, if you straighten it, it will be longer.

Laura: Yeah. They’re not too far behind her, though.

Andrew: We’re getting close, aren’t we? To the moment? You said it’s at 35 minutes in; we’re currently at 30.

Eric: Yeah, it’s going to be Halloween. It’s going to be Halloween in like, three seconds, and then…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: And then there’s going to be another Quidditch World Tournament and then we’re going to be back.

Eric: This is fun.

Micah: Now whose hair is longer?

Eric: Oh, that’s fun. Whose beard was longer?

Micah: Do you all remember, there’s a really great story from… I think it was the reunion special with Mike Newell. I forget which twin told the story or if it was Mike himself, where he really had to show them how to fight each other.

[Eric laughs]

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Micah: And I think he ended up breaking his ankle or there was… he had some serious injury as a result of that.

Eric: You can just tell that he was very hands-on with the actors. Because there’s a moment where Snape just thwacks Harry and gives him a concussion with a book for no reason in this movie. That happens in this movie.

Micah: Oh, he bruised his ribs. That’s what the Discord is saying.

Laura: Snape does a lot of things for no reason.

Eric: Yeah, but that’s no excuse. This movie, he is absolutely unhinged. Book Snape would never.

Andrew: We also need to remember something, and that’s that we had heard over… I can’t remember when, but we heard that Mike Knoll was not a good director to the cast.

Eric: Oh, I didn’t… really?

Andrew: Yeah, didn’t we hear that?

Laura: Yeah, I think I remember hearing that he wasn’t anyone’s fave.

Eric: Oh man.

Andrew: I just vaguely remember him being really hard on the kids? Here I go again misreporting things. Here comes another exclusive with the Leaky Cauldron. [laughs] No, I’m kidding, but really, I really do remember that.

Eric: I just remember they were really excited because it was the first British director which, hello, you’re on Movie 4?

Micah: Oh, please. The cast was all British. Mostly.

Eric: Yeah, I know. What is that written on?

Micah: It looks like a mini hand fan almost. They’re all very specific to the school, except Hogwarts.

Eric: Just a piece of parchment.

Micah: [laughs] It’s just a piece of parchment.

Eric: There’s nothing more Hogwarts than hard work.

Micah: I like what Court said, it appears to be a coffee filter.

Eric: Oh, that’s right.

Laura: Dumbledore in this moment is like, “Oh, thank God Harry’s name didn’t come out of the Goblet.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Why does it say “WIZ”? Oh, “TRI” is on one side, “WIZ” is on the other, and “ARD” is on the other. This has never happened before.

Micah: I hate those hand motions in front of his face. They’re so stupid. Sorry for being critical.

Eric: Well, the thing is, every director had a chance with these movies to put their own spin on the series, so you don’t have the level of consistency between films that you will with the TV show.

Andrew: Ugh, let’s hope. I mean, that’s a 10-year project.

Eric: Yeah, but they’re going to lock that crap down. They’re going to have everybody picked for directing for years in advance, because the quality suffers when…

Micah: Aw, emo Ron.

Laura: The hair just goes so well with the emo state.

Eric: I agree with that.

Laura: I love how… [laughs] We’ll have to compare this to book Dumbledore.

Eric: There are no words. He’s so pissed that he doesn’t say anything. And he glares.

Micah: Right, like Harry did it.

Laura: Oh my God.

Eric: Cool tracking shot, though, of the students.

Micah: So why isn’t it renamed the Quadwizard Tournament? It doesn’t make sense.

Andrew: Ooh! Because this isn’t going to happen again, that’s why.

Micah: Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: Moody is like, “Yeahhh.”

Micah: He’s like, “I did it, I did it…”

Eric: All right, everybody, pour your shots.

Andrew: I did, and my drink, the ice has already melted. It’s all ruined.

Eric: Oh, I’m sorry, Andrew.

Laura: See, Andrew, that’s why you have to get the rocks. That’s what I have in mine. [laughs] Here it comes.

Andrew: Whoo! Drink!

Micah: All right, cheers.

[Glasses clink]

Andrew: Cheers to Michael Gambon. And whoever wrote that line. “Angrily.”

Eric: If Harry were holding a shot right then at that moment, it would be all over the floor. I don’t think you can… you just go up and put the name in, don’t you? That’s it. The goblet takes it from there.

Micah: Oooh.

Eric: That was dark.

Laura: And see, it’s so funny how layered all of this is with Barty Crouch, Jr. because in that moment, he’s on the surface, reminding Karkaroff that “Hey, everyone knows that you used to be a Death Eater.” But really ,what he’s saying is “You betrayed Voldemort. And I’m gonna get you.”

Eric: That’s amazing.

Micah: That shot?

Eric: Yeah, that was a great Caption Contest week when I screenshotted that. There was one recently with Amos and Harry and the top caption was, “Harry, get in my backpack” because it’s so big. Oh, there’s that level in Hogwarts Legacy, the best part of the top tower.

Andrew: I always love these scenes where all the staff are involved too. Just watching all the adult actors work with each other, like when we were…

Eric: This is acting.

Andrew: Right, this is acting.

Eric: With a capital A.

Andrew: [laughs] When we were getting towards the end of Prisoner of Azkaban Chapter by Chapter, I think I said on air, I still remember leaning forward in my seat watching Prisoner of Azkaban for the first time, being so excited seeing Alan Rickman and David Thewlis and Gary Oldman working together, and really, the trio took a backseat. And for at least a few minutes, it was really focused on the adult actors, and I just loved that.

Eric: That’s a great point.

Laura: I just want to call out McGonagall here mentioning, “We can’t just let him compete. He’s not a piece of meat.” And Dumbledore is over there like, “Well… I don’t know about that.”

Eric: I can’t wait to get to that chapter in the book because they say the Goblet of Fire is a magically binding contract, but Harry ultimately did not put his own name in. So I don’t care how many Confunduses you throw at that thing. The fact that you can’t get out of it is BS. Between that and the second task where they may or may not have actually killed Harry’s friends… it’s a real thin plot sometimes.

Eric: Go cry about it, Ron. Oh, good comeback, good comeback.

Laura: Ooh, naughty word. You can tell they’re teenagers now.

Andrew: And whenever they say bad words, or when in Harry Potter we get “Not my daughter, you bitch…” Oh, look at who it is!

Eric: Look at her chew the scenery.

Andrew: But then when parents say like, “Hey, I don’t think that you cursed on the show,” I was like, “But they said that word! So we’re allowed to.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]


Rita Skeeter


Andrew: Oh, let’s talk about this set that they’re at right now. This is probably… I think Eric joked about a repurposed set at the top of the movie. This set has been repurposed like no other. It was the Room of Requirement, it’s the Trophy Room…

Eric: This becomes the Room of Requirement!

Andrew: I feel like there’s one other. I’m trying to remember. But I just remember this…

Micah: Well, wasn’t it just the Trophy Room? Or is it still the Trophy Room?

Eric: And it’s the Slug Club hangout.

Andrew: This is the Trophy Room.

Eric: It’s the dining room for the Slug Club, where Neville serves drinks. You can tell by the half columns. Yeah, Miranda Richardson is insanely good. And even she manages to be shortchanged, I think, by the scripts. There is a lot more to her, obviously, in the books, but I would give this an eight out of ten pass for character adaptation.

Micah: Yeah, it’s very impressive, the actors who join the cast in this film.

Eric: Even just for one-offs. I want whatever that material is that she’s wearing. It’s like a velvet, but it’s like a satiny kind of… it’s really cool.

Eric: A little bit of, dare I say, the S word tension here between the two of them.

Micah: I think that’s part of her shtick, though.

Eric: Yeah, to be a little flirty.

Micah: She’s very flirtatious.

Eric: That’s a good point.

Laura: She really embodies this, and it’s such a disappointment that they didn’t do anything else with this character after this movie.

Eric: Yeah. I could see her being superimposed onto something during Movie 7 with the “Life and Lies” book haunting Harry. Like if she does like an interview or something and it’s posted in Times Square – or sorry, Piccadilly Circus. Good use of that full-scale model of Hogwarts.

Andrew: You know what, and I’ve said this before, even about Movie 1, it still holds up. These visual effects, all of them. And I don’t know if it’s because… I guess it’s the money they put into it. I mean, obviously, it looks amazing here. But I mean, even with Movie 1, all the special effects, they really do not feel dated to me. Maybe just because we grew up with these movies… I don’t know. I’ve always been really impressed.

Eric: Fun fact, it actually took 18 months for all the bird droppings to be gathered and placed here.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I hate bringing up the Wizarding World so much, but they did a great job with the owlery. Down to the bird droppings. That’s what made me want to say that.

Eric: Remember when you used to be able to actually send a letter from the theme park? And it would be owl stamped or whatever. I never actually utilized that, but it was a pretty cool feature at the time. Damn, he’s bleeding.

Laura: Yeah, why is that owl such a jerk?

Micah: I think the owl actually did bite him.

Eric: The owl actually took Hedwig’s lines, because Hedwig is always nipping on Harry.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: They took all of Hedwig’s good lines gave them to this owl.

Andrew: Teenage tragedy.

Eric: Good old MinaLima really coming into prominence, in advance of the educational decrees in the next.

Andrew: Oh, that’s an interesting point. I mean, they’ve been involved with all the movies, but I guess they really started standing out with all the newspapers and the signage.

Eric: No, that’s exactly it. Yeah. I think they did do even the Hogwarts letter, the first Hogwarts letter in the first movie.


Sirius in the fire


Laura: Oh, here’s your favorite CG, Andrew, that really doesn’t hold up.

Andrew: Oh, I spoke too soon, didn’t I? This never held up, from day one.

Eric: No, you’re right. You’re right. It doesn’t. For what this cost to do in CGI, they could have flown Gary Oldman here, had him stay in the best hotel in England, and had him just be part of the site.

Andrew: It was just a very bad choice. That’s what this comes down to. They decided “We’re going to have his face sort of…” It’s almost like… I don’t know what the toy is called, but you put your hand into the thing with all the spikes, and then you look at it on the other side. It’s like that.

Eric: Yeah, it’s like, magic something something. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Well, the thing is, in this book doesn’t somebody forget their coffee and Molly Weasley puts it through the fire and gives them a sip of the coffee or something? It’s so much cooler even in the book.

Micah: Does that happen in the first chapter with the Dursleys?

Eric: I think it’s when they’re first finding out about Aurors and Mad-Eye. At the Burrow, whoever is telling the Weasleys about Mad-Eye is given a biscuit or something extra from Molly. Listeners, correct me if I’m wrong.

Micah: The Other Minister is saying that she feeds someone toast.

Eric: Yeah, there you go. Well, Gary Oldman in this scene is all toast.

Andrew: [laughs] What would happen if you’d roasted marshmallows over top of him? Would it taste a little like him?

Eric: I wonder if he’d taste it.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: You’d stick it in his mouth. “Shut up, Sirius,” you stick the marshmallow down his mouth.

Micah: They did improve it for Order of the Phoenix, though, didn’t they?

Eric: Yeah, it’s more like your image, I think. I really do appreciate this moment in the book. There’s months of trying to catch up with Sirius and get one-on-one time with him, and it’s destroyed when Ron comes down and it feels like such a huge moment. They did it okay in the movie, but again, the buildup is great because Sirius is the only person Harry can confide in during this time. I don’t really think he spends a lot of time with Hermione.


Harry and Neville by the lake


Eric: Neville, you’re being interested in nature again.

Micah: I do love the Harry/Neville bonding.

Eric: Harry complains that Neville is excited about nature? That’s the bonding. This sells teenagers to me more than any other scene.

Laura: We’ve all had a moment like this, right?

Micah: I’m totally on Harry’s side here, though, because… yeah, see, she gets mad at Harry, but Harry’s not the one she should be getting mad at.

Eric: It’s nice that they brought Bonnie Wright along for this scene.

Laura: I know.

Eric: The idea that Hermione and Ron have replaced Harry in the trio by bringing Ginny in and Harry’s just found Neville. [laughs] Oh, the flower.

Laura: Ouch, Hagrid. Geez.

Eric: Man, what would this have been like if Charlie were here?

Andrew: [laughs] Little fun fact, when I was in TV tech, my TV tech teacher brought this up to me when he was talking about filming angles and whatnot, and you guys might know this, too, but I’ll just share it for the listeners. You’ll notice they always shoot Hagrid, and here with Madame Maxime, at a lower angle. And it’s always to make them look taller than they actually are. It just gives you the impression that they are taller than they actually are. And you’re also thinking about how you’re watching Hagrid from, really, a lot of the time, the trio’s point of view, who are, of course, significantly shorter.

Eric: The Discord really likes that fact, Andrew.

Andrew: Aww!

Eric: Yeah, it’s forced perspective. They do it in Lord of the Rings with Gandalf being so much taller than the Hobbits too.

Andrew: Right. Yeah, exactly.

Laura: I think they might have done some of those same angle tricks in some of these earlier movies because there was a period of time where Emma Watson was taller than Dan.

Eric: Yeah, they would have them stand on egg crates too. You can’t tell because it’s not a full body shot, but yeah.

Laura: I know, because girls can’t be taller than boys, even though at this age they usually are.

Eric: Yeah, except Ron is taller than anybody in the books.

Laura: Yeah. Not in the movies, though. Not movie Ron.

Andrew: Stephanie said, “Where’s Charlie? Yes. Hashtag where’s Charlie?

Eric: Charlie should be there subduing the dragon.

Eric: “Potter stinks.” Hey, listen, it’s just hygiene issues. There’s no bathrooms here. Come on, guys.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Aww, Hufflepuffs are dicks.

Andrew: And he is one, ladies and gentlemen.

Micah: Hope they enjoyed their two minutes of fame. And by that, I mean two seconds.

Eric: Yeah. I can appreciate that Cedric isn’t like the other Puffs, and he’s like, “You guys, come on.”

Micah: They’re friends; they went to the Quidditch World Cup together.

Andrew: Folks, there will be justice for Hufflepuffs in the TV show, I am confident.

Micah: They already got a whole movie series and they…

Andrew: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Laura: Well, that wasn’t Hufflepuff’s fault.

Micah: That’s true.

Andrew: And the reason I say that is because the Internet society was definitely more critical of Hufflepuff back in the day. It was just the running joke. And it still is, to an extent, as Micah is illustrating here. But now people accept Hufflepuffs as cool. And of course, they’re right.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Sorry, the gin is starting to hit. I’ll be honest. You think about the merchandise you see in stores now. Remember when it used to only be Gryffindor merchandise? That was it.

Eric: And Slytherin.

Andrew: All fans of Harry Potter just want to be Gryffindor because that’s where he is.

Eric: Or their enemy.

Andrew: [laughs] Or their enemy, yeah. But these days, you really do see all four Houses represented, and that’s great. It took them way too long to realize people actually identify with other Houses and to profit off of that. But they are now, and that’s why I think in the Harry Potter TV show, you’re going to see a lot less Hufflepuff hate even though the books are guilty of it too, from time to time. We’ve been calling it out in Chapter by Chapter. That’s a marketing opportunity.

Eric: I think it’s such a balanced thing because the reason that the Hufflepuff… as long as they take time to explain exactly what you said – I think it was Micah – that two seconds of fame for their guy… they’re just feeling that if Harry did cheat, he did it and it undermines the glory that they would have had. So yeah, they’re awful to him, and it’s not forgivable, but it is at least understandable.

Micah: Part of it is, I think that it took them so long to get a visual representation of a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw, right? Because we don’t really see Hufflepuff fully represented until Cedric comes along. We don’t see Ravenclaw really fully represented. You can throw Cho in there, but it’s really Luna, right? So you’re talking about not just them coming along in the books, but coming along in the movies, and you don’t get that until the mid 2000s.

Eric: Yeah, that’s fair. And then most of the time when they do Ravenclaw merch, it’s still got a friggin Raven on it instead of an eagle.

Laura: Oh my God, tell me about it. Ticks me off.

Eric: Real Ravenclaws, that has to really piss off.

Laura: It’s very irritating.

Eric: That’s a cool prop, I’ll just say, the leg. That’s really cool.

Andrew: It is, yeah.

Micah: Just like Cormoran Strike.

Andrew: [laughs] He’s terrifying.

Eric: Oh, that sounded kind of like Brendan Gleeson in that trunk.

Micah: What a contrast this is from when Harry was in Lupin’s office just a year prior. [laughs] The dude’s taking off his leg.

Eric: Well, and then Umbridge in the next… this is the same office with all the kitten posters. It’s supposed to be. I really do appreciate this.

Laura: He’s like, “Don’t make me spell it out for you, man. What are you good at?”

Eric: “I need you to survive so that you can die.”

Andrew: Ohh.

Eric: Cool. It’s just cool. That’s just very cool.


The first task


Andrew: Here we go, the Quadwizard Tournament. Very exciting. One year only.

Eric: Why is the stadium so far away from Hogwarts?

Andrew: For real.

Eric: Who’s getting up there? I’m taking my broom to get to the broom stadium.

Andrew: How do the competitors get there? They have to hike up a mountain? And compete?

Eric: Listen, it’s the stairs. It’s all those stairs. They trained well.

Andrew: I always really liked this “Potter” jacket too. I feel like I had it at some point…

Eric: Out of the New York shop, they do that those custom jerseys now where you get your name printed on, and I wanted to get one. This is a good shot.

Andrew: God, I really do not intend to, but I think they sell this flight outfit at the Wizarding World parks, or they did for a time.

Eric: I appreciate the photographer character.

Andrew: Justice for him. I hope he makes it to the TV show.

Eric: Same actor.

Micah: There’s Krum’s one line of the entire movie.

Eric: I do appreciate that he sees her for what she is.

Micah: Well yeah, that’s the only time he says anything. [laughs]

Eric: “Did you sneak into this tent?”

Laura: He’s like, “Miss Granger, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?”

Micah: Actually, there’s another great line coming from Barty Crouch, Sr.

Eric: Is it “Chinese fireball, oooh”?

Micah: It is, yeah.

Eric: I like the little puff of smoke that comes from the bag. That’s probably one of the coolest little effects.

Andrew: This is a fun little game scene exercise.

Eric: The dragon got an upgrade in the movie. In the book it’s the Common Welsh Green. There’s nothing common about this, we’re just going to call it Welsh Green.

Andrew: Do y’all ever think about how they’re going to have to redo all of this for the TV show?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: That’s why they can’t. They have to focus on the other stuff.

Andrew: This isn’t like… David Zaslav I think, or WB, was like, “This is a 10-year series.” No, this is 20 years. This is a 20-year series.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: We’re all going to be in our 50s by the time they finish.

Andrew: Yeah, some of these scenes will just… they could be an episode on their own. There’s just so much to explore.

Eric: All right, now the dragon has woken up from a deep slumber. Oh yeah, I should have started the timer for how long we see other people’s tasks. Zero seconds.

Micah: Is this the same tent they used at the beginning of the movie?

Andrew: You’re hellbent on these repurposed sets.

Micah: I’ve got to imagine, right? From the Quidditch World Cup?

Laura: Yeah. Hey, I mean, given how much they had to spend on special effects, they probably were re-using sets.

Micah: I would, yeah.

Eric: Not to plug the Caption Contest again, but there’s one where I superimposed the Mario brothers in this arena.

Micah: Super Smash?

Eric: The live action with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo. It was really funny.

Micah: Did they repurpose the Quidditch World Cup for this scene? Or Quidditch?

Eric: The stands are reminiscent… oh, maybe.

Micah: From the first two films or three.

Andrew: That just reminded me we get a shirtless Harry scene in this movie.

Laura: Oh, that’s right.

Andrew: Which was a big deal to me at the time, and probably a lot of other people of course.

Micah: With a 40-year-old MILF next to him. We’ll talk about that.

Andrew: All right, I think we need to cut off Micah from the… are you still drinking, Micah?

Micah: No, I had like two sips.

Eric: We got another Maggie Smith gasping shot. Everybody’s little noisemakers and stuff is really cute.

Andrew: I wonder if they’ll do special episodes. You know how with Stranger Things there’s a 45-minute episode and then all of a sudden there’s an hour and 20 minute episode? I wonder if they’re going to do that with Harry Potter.

Eric: That’s a good point, not rope themselves into a minute count.

Andrew: Yeah, just like… only an hour per episode, sorry.

Eric: Yeah, if you look at even The Mandalorian, it’s doing anywhere from like a 35-minute episode to much longer. A lot of them are 50, but there have been short ones. Oh, and The Last of Us did that too. There was a really, really short episode. It’s because now that they don’t have commercial breaks in between the show, you don’t need to constrain it to fit the hour.

Micah: So I wasn’t a big fan of this scene; I don’t know how you all felt about it. Because this is not book canon.

Eric: Well, I can appreciate that the stakes seem high, and the view of the rooftop of Hogwarts is an area I would have always wanted to see, but logistically it’s a nightmare, right? Because it’s like, wouldn’t there be wizards whose job it is to go after the dragon? Like Charlie Weasley himself would be the one that has to like reign that guy in. I don’t know. This is just beyond the acceptable level of threat for Harry.

Micah: I mean, I understand why they did it for the purposes of a movie. It makes it way more exciting than what happens in the book.

Eric: I wish I could do this in Hogwarts Legacy.

Micah: Hey, you never know. There are dragons flying around.

Eric: I do really guy…

Laura: It’s giving Forbidden Journey.

Eric: I’m glad you pointed that out, Laura. It’s very much the same shot or same height.

Laura: See, this is how I know I’m an adult now, because I’m watching all of this damage be done to the shingles of Hogwarts castle, and being like, “Oh my god, how much it would cost to replace all of that…”

Micah: Well, Filch has to take care of it. I hope he likes heights.

Laura: [laughs] Probably. Man, Dumbledore did him dirty.

Micah: I guess there’s also the point if you went through the effort to create this dragon, then you need to do more than just have them square off in that little an arena.

Laura: True.

Micah: Oh, he’s going after the Elder Wand!

Laura: Wait, doos the dragon die in the movie? Do they kill off the dragon?

Eric: It was just trying to protect its baby. Dragon rights, y’all. Again, another boring task for everyone involved. Why is his broom steaming? Oh, I guess…

Laura: Because the dragon bit the end of it.

Eric: Right.

Laura: Wait, so the dragon just died? Is that what we’re supposed to think?

Eric: Yeah, and Harry got its baby.

Laura: That’s so messed up.

Eric: I appreciate that even the portraits are psyched right now.

Andrew: Yeah, I was just going to say that too. [laughs]

Micah: Kiss of the Irish.

Eric: This is very, like, Stanley Cup.

Laura: [laughs] I love the faces of these portraits.

Eric: Hogwarts is an auditory nightmare.

Micah: Dude, where were you? Bathroom?

Laura: He’s like, “Yeah, but man, you’re supposed to be my best mate. I don’t care what everyone else is doing.”


Yule Ball lead-up


Eric: I really appreciate the table placement settings. All the set dec.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Spit take!

Andrew: Another iconic moment. “How much toast is on those tables?” John says. Not enough! I love toast. [laughs] “Me, myself, and I,” Rita Skeeter.

Laura: I had forgotten about Nigel. [laughs]

Micah: Do they have cereal boxes on the tables at Hogwarts?

Eric: Yeah, that was in the Exhibition. Micah, for how often you’ve been to the Exhibition, I’m surprised you don’t know this. They did cereal boxes.

Andrew: That’s a sore subject for me because when I was very fortunate to go to the Order of the Phoenix or the Half-Blood Prince set… I think it was the Half-Blood Prince set. There were multiple requests from the press to be able to film – just interviews, I think – and record, and they said, “There are so many people wanting to bring their own devices, we will record and film things for you.” And we thought, “Okay, great, that’s way easier.” Well, so they record the interviews for us and it’s great. Then we go into the Great Hall, and they’re like, “You guys can film stand ups, these little introduction videos for your own websites.” And so they let me hold a box of that darn cereal!

Eric: Oh my… so you have a picture of that?

Andrew: No! Let me finish this story. So I do my stand up. It’s great. Melissa from Leaky does it, other press that were there do it. We’re all so excited, right? We have video of us on the set. So cool, an active set. Well, they never gave us the video. Who knows why? It’s probably sitting in an archive somewhere. But it bothered me for so many years that they would not give us the video of us on the set because we of course thought it was the coolest thing. That is going to be a pro-shot video of us on the set.

Eric: Andrew, just wait for the 30th anniversary. You’re going to see your stuff up there.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: You signed the release 18 years ago. Just wait.

Andrew: But that’s why the cereal is triggering, because… [laughs]

Eric: I think they’re Owl-O’s. I can look at it later, for Steph, because she was asking.

Micah: Well, you have other things from the set, don’t you?

Andrew: No comment.

Eric: Do you mean to tell me…? Andrew, after you made that huge kerfuffle about Michael Goldenberg being the director for Order of the Phoenix, they still invited you to the set for Movie 6?

Andrew: [laughs] I’m abstaining from this discussion right now.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I have no comment here. In fact, I didn’t even hear what you said. It broke up for me. But it’s fine, because we’re moving along.

Eric: They still invited you to Movie 6 after you screwed up on Michael Goldenberg coverage?

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, wasn’t that nice of them? Second chances. If they only knew what I did. I blew it again with them.

Micah: The eyes on that cat. And I’m talking about Mrs. Norris.

Eric: I’m dying at Micah’s clarification there.

Laura: Aw, Neville.

Micah: I will say, the score by Patrick Doyle is very well done.

Eric: Yeah, it’s probably the best score all-in. Between “Potter Waltz” and “Neville’s Waltz,” they’re really good.

Micah: Neville’s got shoes too.

Laura: I would totally go to the ball with Neville. He’s like, I think, the ideal date for the Yule Ball.

Micah: Oof, Ravenclaw looks rough.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Like they’re going to bite his face off. No comment.

Laura: Wait, what? What happened here?

Micah: She ate something out of his beard.

Eric: You know, just like in the book?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Ooh, Krum. He may not say much in the movie, but his actions speak louder than words.

Eric: Krum never skips leg day.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Alan Rickman is such an icon.

Micah: It’s tough because Snape doesn’t really play much of a role at all in this movie. He is in one of the deleted scenes during the Yule Ball.

Laura: He’s got rizz.

Eric: What’s rizz?

Laura: Oh no, we have to have Chloé on. Eric, I’m giving you homework.

Eric: See, Snape… it just doesn’t make any sense. Drama. It always looks like he’s trying to shove their face into pie, but there’s no pie.

Laura: Harry and Ron needed chiropractic care after this year.

Eric: Pulverize me, Snape.

Andrew: Whoa, look at that circle of stones to the right. Did you see that? That’s in Hogwarts Legacy too.

Eric: Yeah, there’s a term for that. But they’re awesome. I really like those.

Andrew: “Stonehenge” is the term.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Druid circle?

Eric: Yeah, Druid circle. Stonehenge is an example. Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly it, Micah.

Laura: No, they’re all Stonehenge.

Andrew: [laughs] I just call them all Stonehenge. Oh, look at Stonehedge! I didn’t realize that was here in America.

Eric: Oh, it’s totally a thing, though.

Andrew: Oh man. Too relatable, this scene.

Micah: “Sorry”? He said it very clearly.

Laura: Ugh, the secondhand embarrassment. Oh, the swell of heartbreak.

Eric: You know, Harry should just go back to that Druid circle and do a Merlin challenge. He’ll feel much better.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I got a little tired of those in Hogwarts Legacy. They’re fun.

Eric: There were a lot of them.

Andrew: And I think they were going for what Zelda has with the Korok seeds, and so I liked it from that angle, but it was just more work than the Korok seeds in a lot of cases.

Eric: I just hated how it’s the only gateway to get enough pockets for your clothes. Like, you need to hit every one or you can’t carry a fifth hat.


The Yule Ball


Eric: Yeah, it’s fine. Just make Parvati and Padma in the same Hogwarts House. That’s cool.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: That’s okay, I think the biggest crime is about to be the outfits that they got put in for the Yule Ball. It’s been pretty notably chronicled online that people of Indian culture looked at that and said, “What the hell?”

Eric: Oh man. I’ve always liked Harry’s. You can get this outfit on Hogwarts Legacy, actually.

Andrew: Yeah, that was a nice touch.

Eric: That’s real fun. Because they’re from what, the 1880s or something? And that’s exactly when Legacy is set.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh, that’s perfect. I didn’t think about that. I just kind of considered it an Easter egg. But yeah, you’re right.

Eric: I think in the books Ginny is like, “They were last fashionable in the 1800s.” It’s a fun reference.

Andrew: I just feel terrible for Hermione. In this case four. Quadwizard.

Laura: [laughs] I love how casual she is about it.

Andrew: And she’s older! She’s repulsed!

Laura: She’s not that old.

Andrew: Yeah, “repulsed” was a strong word. Sorry, Ron. Everybody’s looking great. Wasn’t this always exciting in school?

Micah: Except Ron. I feel bad.

Andrew: Well, yeah. But it was always so exciting to see everybody dressed up in high school for prom.

Eric: I agree. Like, people that you know, who are only ever in regular school clothes, do it up a little? Yeah, I agree.

Andrew: Or even, honestly, weddings today. It’s like, “Aw, you guys really dressed up!”

Eric: I was about to say, “That’s childhood,” but yeah, that’s life.

Andrew: I’m just wearing gym shorts 99% of my life these days.

Eric: To weddings?

Andrew: [laughs] No, no, the 1% where I don’t is weddings. Every other time…

Eric: Well, now there’s stretchy formal wear. It’s like that business…

Andrew: Yeah, I’ve seen some of that.

Eric: Yeah, that stuff is great.

Andrew: It’s like the work from home type thing, too, like maybe you want to dress up a little bit, but yeah.

Laura: Andrew, if you want to wear basketball shorts to my wedding, that’s fine. I don’t care. Come as you are.

Andrew: Oh my god. Don’t say that, Laura.

Eric: I’ve always wanted a job where I could wear a suit every day. I think that would be cool.

Andrew: You want a job where you can wear a suit every day? Careful what you wish for.

Eric: I always did.

Andrew: Ask Micah what that… well, you don’t wear a suit. But I think people would disagree with you there.

Eric: I’m sure it would get old fast, but I’ve never had it, so that’s why I want it.

Andrew: It’s like me saying like, “I love work from home!” But, and I have said this before, “But I want to go to an office.” Meanwhile, Laura and Micah are like, “You’re insane.” [laughs]

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: I just want to see people.

Micah: You can come to my office and work if you want.

Eric: It’s always fun at Micah’s office. He gets us little passes.

Andrew: [laughs] For you, Micah?

Micah: Yeah, for me. You know, we were talking about Patrick Doyle earlier. I would say next to “Hedwig’s Theme,” this is probably the most notable score in the Harry Potter franchise.

Andrew: I would agree with that.

Eric: Although, wait, because Nicolas Hooper comes in with a lead pipe in the next one for the Room of Requirement and the Umbridge theme. Those are actually more widely used at the theme park and stuff.

Micah: What’s with the ferret?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Because it’s fun.

Micah: He transformed Draco back.

Eric: Well, no, then he redid it. Draco is now having lap time.

Micah: Yeah, because we don’t see Draco in this scene.

Eric: No, Draco’s not here.

Micah: It’s a good point.

Laura: So I just want to…

Andrew: Oh! Are you going to ask about the song?

Laura: I want to call… oh, well, we can talk about that in a second. I just want to give props to the chat because people have started calling Karkaroff “Rasputin.” [laughs]

Micah: He is. I mean, basically.

Laura: And the thing is, I was thinking the same thing when I saw him at first, and then I look over at the chat, and I see Casey being like, “Rasputin is back.” [laughs]

Micah: I wouldn’t be very surprised.

Andrew: I’m sorry, I don’t find that very funny.

Laura: You don’t?

Andrew: Go ahead, guys. Go ahead.

Micah: No, I was just going to say, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rasputin inspired his character.

Laura: Oh, yeah, I agree.

Andrew: Okay, I love this song and I’m not apologizing. “Can You Dance Like a Hippogriff,” I’m referring to it, in case it’s not clear for the listeners.

Laura: Listen, we danced to this song at one of the Yule Balls. I was very, uh…

Andrew: [laughs] Excited.

Laura: Inebriated.

Andrew: Okay. It’s a good song. We didn’t get enough original songs, outside of the score. We didn’t get enough original songs. We didn’t get any, really, besides this one.

Eric: Well, unless you bought the soundtrack. You can’t really hear it. I never learned this song or the lyrics.

Andrew: It’s catchy. It’s upbeat. It’s rock! They put it in a Harry Potter movie! I mean, I guess I came to like any non-score song from the Harry Potter movies, like the Deathly Hallows one.

Eric: Yeah, I was going to say, brackets now. Is this better than “O Children”? Or does “Dance Like a Hippogriff”…?

Andrew: Well, they’re very different, right? I’m not playing “O Children” at a dance, but I am playing “Can You Dance Like a Hippogriff.”

Eric: Fair enough.

Andrew: Man, this was all too real with all the dance drama and being hung up.

Laura: Mmhmm. They actually captured that very well because thinking back on high school dances, there was always drama like this. Somebody was always up in some drama.

Andrew: John C. listening live says “O Children” is better. I respect that choice. I remember when that song came out with the movie, I was very into it. I think I bought it on iTunes at the time.

Micah: “They get scary when they get older.” [laughs] That’s such a parent thing to say.

Laura: Yeah, the gaslighting in this moment is…

Micah: Go Neville.

Laura: … very relatable, as someone who experienced being a teenage girl

Micah: Ooh, Hagrid trying to cop a feel.

Eric: “Hagrid, my eyes are up here. No, higher. No, higher.”

Micah: Oh, graveyard time.

Laura: Yeah, they’re like, “Well-mannered frivolity over.”

Micah: Well, they also cut the other scene, as I was mentioning, that Snape was in because he goes into all the carriages to break up all the make-out seshes.

Laura: He would. He’s just salty because he never had a make-out sesh.

Eric: Too soon. “Are you the ghost of Christmases yet to come?” And now, audience, remember there were these two men.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Once upon a time…

Laura: Oh hey, that’s like the thing that was in the sky.

Eric: I have a temporary tattoo of those. So cool.

Micah: Quick, go make sure Mad-Eye is in his bed at Hogwarts.

Eric: The sweat glistening off of his cheek. Real cool. Shiny shoes.

Micah: “Yeah, when I was making out with your future wife.”

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Aww, Neville. See, optimal date for the Yule Ball.

Eric: More girls got to get on that.


Egg clue


Andrew: This bridge gets a lot of airtime in the movies, doesn’t it? It’s on the Studio Tour, too, which is cool.

Eric: Yeah. I like it.

Micah: It gets serious airtime in Deathly Hallows – Part 2.

Andrew: [laughs] Yikes. Wait, what are you referring to? It being blown up?

Micah: Yeah. Boom.

Andrew: Wow. No, but you’re right. [laughs]

Eric: And the LEGO games.

Andrew: Laura, did you ever play the LEGO games? I know Micah and Eric are huge fans.

Laura: Oh yeah. Yeah, I did.

Andrew: I couldn’t get into them.

Micah: Andrew, get ready.

Eric: Try again. They sell them for like six bucks on PlayStation Network.

Andrew: Oh, I know. I own them. I just… ugh.

Eric: Yeah, you need to be in the right mind space. The parody is really, really good. Or like, fun commentary. When you’re playing, you can tell that the people that loved the stories made them.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: But there are years that go by that I don’t play a LEGO game because it is a very specific humor that you have to be in the mood for.

Laura: The way he delivers this is so weird.

Eric: It’s good. I love that he’s awkward, that he’s allowed to be the school champion on the one hand, and a really awkward person on the other. I appreciate it. It’s like, “Potter, remember those Potter Stinks badges?”

Andrew: Oh, this is the scene you were referring to. [laughs] I was like, “Wait, what am I…?” Yeah, this was a big deal. Shirtless Harry Potter, hello. I don’t care who you are.

Eric: That mermaid is ripped.

Andrew: Speaking of ripped, let’s return our attention to Harry Potter.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Did this bring about any kind of awakening for anybody in 2005?

Andrew: [fake coughs] No, no, no…

Eric: I was just polling the audience.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Laura: He wasn’t singling you out, Andrew. He just wanted to know.

Andrew: I’m just playing.

Eric: I said anybody! I literally want to know, anybody.

Andrew: Was it an awakening moment for me? I honestly can’t remember. Did I enjoy it? Of course.

Micah: Clearly Myrtle is enjoying herself.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, me and Myrtle. Myrtle more than me.

Micah: And the reason why I brought up what I did earlier on is because… and I think Shirley Henderson has spoken about this, but she’s 57 years old now, which means how old was she when she did this scene with Daniel Radcliffe?

Andrew: Probably about 20 years ago.

Eric: Yeah, 39 and he was 14?

Micah: Yeah, so…

Eric: Still, you can’t tell.

Micah: No, you can’t, but it’s slightly awkward. [laughs]

Eric: I do like… okay, it is awkward. I really don’t think Myrtle is that flirty in the books. Is she?

Laura: I think they definitely vamped it up for the movie to make it more awkward.

Andrew: Yeah, and entertaining. It’s just entertaining.

Eric: They have a lovely singing voice.

Micah: And I don’t think they give the full clue here.

Laura: No, they don’t.

Micah: And Harry immediately makes a connection that makes no sense at all.

Eric: “Are there mermaids in the lake?” Well, if you can’t have house-elves, at least you get Moaning Myrtle. The little bubbles. That’s really funny.

Micah: I mean, she says, “Almost all of Cedric’s bubbles were gone,” and then she looks down in the water.

Laura: I think that was from the book, actually. She did say that.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: Really? That’s what gave it its PG-13 rating.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Some frightening imagery and a lack of bubbles.

Laura: I just want to know, did they provide an intimacy coordinator for this scene?

Eric: Was there a safe word?


The second task


Eric: Professor McGonagall is going to kidnap you. You’re always talking about nature, Neville. You suck.

Laura: As a matter of fact…

Eric: A book that thick, you know there’s a way to do that.

Micah: I just don’t like how they cut Dobby out, but I know house-elves are expensive.

Andrew: Just wait for the TV show.

Eric: It was his agent. His agent suggested that he renegotiate his contract and it all went to hell after that.

Andrew: Ahh, too much. It was too much.

Eric: He was too big for his britches.

Micah: I mean, it does build a stronger bond between Harry and Neville for Neville to provide the Gillyweed.

Eric: Yeah, the closeness between Harry and Neville in this is really apt considering their comparisons later. This is probably the best Matt Lewis movie besides Deathly Hallows, ff course. Of sorts. A living, breathing human!

Laura: What is everyone’s favorite task?

Eric: Book or movie?

Laura: Let’s say book.

Andrew: As somebody who has never loved the water levels in Mario, I’m going to say first of all, this one’s off the table. I think the dragon one, actually, for me.

Eric: It’s creepy, it’s dank. Yeah, I agree, not this one. Isn’t the dance called the unexpected task? The Yule Ball is a fourth task, basically.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Eric: Then I would cheat and say the Yule Ball. But otherwise, it’s probably the first one. I never understood the sphinx riddle. Meg had to explain it to me like 15 years later.

Micah: In the book, I like the maze. In the movie, I actually like this task, because I don’t like the dragon chase scene, and I don’t like how the maze is done in the movie. It just lacks everything that’s in the book.

Eric: This looks cool.

Micah: This takes you to a new place you’ve never been before.

Eric: That’s true. And it’s right in your own backyard.

Micah: They could have thrown the squid in.

Eric: Yeah, the squid should be here.

Laura: I do feel like I… and we’ll see about this when we read the book. I feel like I remember the second task being my favorite, so we’ll see if that still holds true.

Eric: I’d be interested. I just can’t get over whether they were really in danger or not. We’re told that the champions are in danger; that’s why they age restricted it this time. But it seems really weird to take Ron, Hermione… just because Hermione is Viktor’s Yule Ball date, she then is the person that he has to save? And if he were to get caught or captured, what happens to her? Anyway, stuff lurking in kelp is scary.

Laura: Yeah, I think that they explained that in the book at the very least.

Eric: I don’t think they do.

Laura: They’re like, “Did you really think Dumbledore would actually let anything happen to them?” Because of Harry’s panic and feeling like he needs to save Ron and Fleur’s little sister.

Eric: Well, it’s an open question because Dumbledore isn’t like, “Yeah, Harry, you’re safe. I never would have…” Dumbledore did a lot worse.

Laura: That’s very true. He’s like, “More pigs for slaughter.”

Micah: Now I’m going to ask another question: Is that repurposed for the veil?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh my God, stop reaching. Officially reaching.

Eric: I love this thread. Is this repurposed for the Newt scene in the second Fantastic Beasts where he’s in the basement with the kelpie?

Micah: Hmm, probably.

Eric: Or is that the third film? Hey, look, they’re…

Laura: Oh man.

Andrew: This always got me.

Eric: How are they breathing?

Andrew: This is so mean and unfair. I don’t like this one bit.

Laura: I just am struck by how bad these models are.

Andrew: But Laura, it’s deep underwater and they’re passed out. That’s why they look that way.

Eric: Madame Tussaud’s was busy.

Andrew: [laughs] Madame Tussaud’s was busy. I do know what you mean, though. They do look very waxy. And I guess it’s like, why? Why do they look that way? Maybe it was intentional, just to make them look passed out or whatever this is?

Laura: But look at Cedric pulling Cho. Watch this move. It’s so bad.

Micah: Yeah, make sure her head doesn’t fall off.

Laura: They’re like, “Nope.”

Eric: What the hell is her deal? Uh-oh, what don’t they like? Go Krum. Man, it’s a good thing Hermione is not conscious for this. “The time must come where you can choose to do the right thing or the easy thing.” She’s like, “Why am I wet?”

Laura: Yeah, why is she waving? [laughs]

Eric: You know, if somebody waves at you, you wave back. It’s just courtesy. That CGI effect doesn’t get enough praise. I think it’s really cool where his head turns back.

Micah: I’m telling you, that’s the veil. See, Lupin should have thrown a few of these in his tank when he walked out at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban.

Eric: Yeah, what are they?

Micah: They’re grindylows.

Eric: I thought the grindylows have a long, spindly hand that you break. These are those alien creatures from Men in Black. Poor Harry.

Laura: He’s like, “Perfect.”

Eric: “I still want to know if you put your name in the Goblet…”

[Laura laughs]

Eric: That’s a fun moment. Guess they were grindylows. “We have some last-minute points.”

Laura: Get ready for some favoritism, y’all.

Andrew: Yay, second place! Runner-up!

Eric: First is the worst, second is the best.

Laura: What was up with Nigel?

Eric: Isn’t he a stand-in for the Creevey brothers? But why would they not just have the Creevey brothers?

Laura: Just have someone they had already cast? Yeah. Well, you could say that about other characters in this movie.

Eric: Was the Creevey kid doing Spiderwick or something? Yeah, I don’t know.

Laura: Was that him?

Eric: I don’t know.

Micah: Feels like such a disservice to not learn this story in full.

Eric: I mean, it is a really cool part of the book that we’ll definitely spend time on in the show.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: He’s just like, “Son?”

Eric: “My son used to lick his lip like that.”

Laura: He pulls an Amos and he’s like, “That’s my boy!”

Eric: Oh man. Too soon.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Too soon, Laura, yes. Too soon.

Laura: It hasn’t even happened yet!

Andrew: Yeah, it’s too soon! Exactly! We’re like, 40 minutes away from that probably.

Eric: What about the Marauders, Hagrid?

Micah: Ruh-roh.

Eric: What a way to go in the book.

Micah: This just feels too on the nose after what just happened.

Laura: Yeah, I mean… it’s not the only time in the movies that they make it fairly obvious who the bad guy is.

Eric: I mean, did you catch the lightning when he first walked in?

[Laura laughs]


The Pensieve


Eric: Oh, there was some real fire there.

Micah: There’s about to be a cat fight.

Eric: That was well-synced, the door opening to Harry’s hand.

Micah: Well, it’s good to see Fawkes again.

Eric: Oh shit.

Andrew: That bowl is, let’s say, one short because of a certain somebody.

Laura: Oh, yeah?

Eric: Are they really sharp-looking?

Andrew: Why are you asking me that?

Eric: Did you ever…?

Andrew: No. [laughs]

Laura: I was going to say, it sounded like you were implying that you took something.

Andrew: No, no, definitely not. No way.

Micah: Harry does. He drops some.

Eric: They all look CGI. They don’t look like they’ve ever existed.

Andrew: If they felt wooden, I wouldn’t know. I’m just looking at it.

Eric: Okay. That’s a fascinating conjecture.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know how it feels in your pocket either, but I would assume it’s pretty pocketable, just looking at it.

Eric: I love everything about this whole conversation.

Andrew: This movie is very blue. The Pensieve, the Goblet…

Eric: I did notice that, yeah.

Andrew: Even the start of it was giving blue.

Laura: Yeah, I mean, even if you look at all the marketing for this movie, everything is blue and gray tones.

Andrew: Do you all remember the comma drama? Which rhymes, but…

Eric: Yusuf Kama?

Andrew: No, no, remember there was a poster that was like, “It is our…” No, what was the poster? There was a poster for Goblet of Fire, and there was a tagline, and all of us, MuggleNet, Leaky, being readers, book nerds, grammatical hawks, we were like, “That poster is missing a comma.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Goblet of Fire poster. Let me see if I can find it. Already, not the same poster. But yeah, trust me. There was drama. There was drama.

Laura: I mean, that definitely sounds like something we would have done.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: This set decoration is really cool. That’s a hint.

Andrew: Stephanie is asking, “Is this set repurposed in Order of the Phoenix?” Micah, your thoughts, please?

Laura: Probably.

Micah: Believe so, for Harry’s trial.

Andrew: I think that’s spot on, yeah.

Micah: He’s like, “I saved the best for last, bitch.”

Laura: “I’ve got the mic drop.”

Eric: I met him. Good guy.

Laura: [laughs] Rita’s face. Yeah, I feel like you do see the actor playing Barty Crouch, Sr., you do see a switch here in the way he portrays the character.

Micah: There’s the tongue, so if you don’t know now…

Laura: I know. They’re like, “Just in case you didn’t notice that weird thing.”

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: If you took 40 bathroom breaks. Why does he look like he’s about to pass out? What’s wrong with Dumbledore here?

Eric: There’s so much wrong with Dumbledore here.

Micah: Or he’s constipated?

Eric: It’s too many licorice snaps.

Andrew: Oh, here we go again. Didn’t we just have a conversation? I’m just kidding.

Micah: About what?

Andrew: About Dumbledore. I mean, not tonight.

Micah: There’s the Deathly Hallows.

Andrew: I know we’ve spoken about this until we’ve been blue in the face – pun not intended with how blue this movie is – but I really do love Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore. Sorry.

Laura: Same. I’m right there with you, Andrew. I do not stand for this Michael Gambon slander.

Eric: It’s awful. It’s really bad.

Andrew: No, Eric, you, I think, have been really critical. Haven’t you?

Eric: In 6, he gets it. Movie 6.

Andrew: Oh, but this movie you don’t like?

Eric: No, no. Movie 6 it finally clicks for me and it clicks hard. It really clicks hard. I love him in Movie 6. But before then, no, absolutely not. He gets the worst direction. He doesn’t have a clue. It doesn’t work.

Andrew: Well, okay, so I’m willing to meet you there with Goblet of Fire because like I mentioned earlier, I’m like, “No.” From what we heard, I think not the favorite director.

Eric: The line delivery, like, “Don’t you all have studying to do?” in Movie 5. It’s like, “What? What? Who is he and why is he asking that?”

Andrew: That’s too much, yes. But shouldn’t you blame the screenwriters for that? Yes. Basically what we just said. I don’t think we can blame Mr. Gambon.

Eric: Well, that’s true of any performance, right? These are the shots that they kept. These are the directions that they were given. But no, I mean, because isn’t the question, “Don’t you love Michael Gambon as Dumbledore here?” Also a question about the writing, the directing, the sound that’s going on? So I answered the question.

Micah: Totally. The challenge is, though, that in Richard Harris, you’re dealing with somebody who read the books and took the part for his granddaughter. Michael Gambon, I’m not sure why he took the role but he was very clear that he never read the books. I think that factors in. You don’t get a true sense of Dumbledore by not reading the books.

Eric: I do love this little repurposed Ollivander set in the background that ended up becoming…

Andrew: I was not expecting this commentary to be so heavy on the repurposed set discussions. I think it’s right, I just wasn’t expecting it.

Eric: Look, it’s the same ladder!

Andrew: “The same ladder.”

Eric: [laughs] “I wonder when I’d be seeing you, Mr. Potter.”

Andrew: What exhibition is that a part of now, I wonder?

Eric: I do think that Goblet of Fire is when Alan Rickman looked the best as Snape.

Andrew: Interesting.

Eric: For some reason, something about the uniform and the little white sticking out of the sleeves.

Andrew: And the hair? The hair is a little different.

Eric: The hair and the face. It’s not too wrinkled. He ages a little bit from this point forward, but I think this is the best he’s looked.

Andrew: Of course, I feel like by the end of the series, and I’d have to look at side-by-side photos, but I do feel like Snape’s hair gets a little longer over time. Maybe a little more disheveled? Even looking at him now, it’s ever so slightly… it needs a comb.


The third task


Micah: Uh-oh, here we go.

Eric: Whose boy?

Andrew: Ugh, I’m not ready for this. I need to use the bathroom. Maybe I’ll use it during the “My boy.”

Laura: No.

Andrew: No?

Laura: Oh, look at Amos. He’s so proud.

Eric: He’s championing his son.

Andrew: He’s so excited. Nothing’s going to go wrong.

Eric: They’re doing the Macarena.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: When should I use the bathroom? Y’all tell me when I should use the bathroom.

Eric: Go now.

Andrew: Go now?

Eric: Yeah, you’re not missing anything with the maze. Go now.

Laura: Yeah, nothing happens in the maze, actually. Have y’all seen the meme-ification of the Hogwarts band and this song?

Eric: No.

Laura: So on TikTok it became a trend where people talk about some traumatic event happening, like “Finding out that such-and-such person I really love died,” and then it was like the Hogwarts band just comes on.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: “Now remember, boys, if the cup turns out to be a Portkey, send sparks.” Using that well-known spell. Look at the art in the background, the emblems for Ministry of Magic.

Andrew: I’m back. I’m ready for heartbreak.

Eric: “People change in the maze. When roots spring up and grab you, you become a different person.”

Laura: He’s talking like they’re going out on a nine-month wilderness expedition.

Eric: Oh yeah, they’re going to be done in 20 minutes.

Andrew: You might even even become a vampire.

Eric: You might be naked and afraid.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: And yes, Legalize Gillyweed, the spectators did just sit in the stands a whole time. I think we’ll talk about this when we read the book, but like, what were they doing? They just sit there and stare at the maze?

Andrew: Even this terrifies me. The joy of the outside, the start, to the depths of the maze. Just such a beautiful juxtaposition.

Laura: I like how Dumbledore is like, “That’s a little sus, but…”

Andrew: [laughs] “Eh, Voldemort might be in there somewhere, a bad Portkey, whatever.”

Micah: Look, it’s the repurposed entryway to Malfoy Manor.

Laura: [laughs] Andrew is going to kick Micah off the stream.

Andrew: Nothing can stop me now because pizza just arrived for me. I’m eating for the main event.

Eric: Oh, man. What kind of pizza?

Micah: Shirtless DanRad and pizza. You’re all set for the night.

Laura: How can you eat pizza at a time like this?

Andrew: Domino’s handmade pan, the only way to eat Domino’s. Whoa, way too much pepperoni.

Eric: What are the toppings?

Andrew: Just pep. I’m just a pep guy.

Eric: That’s cool. I respect that. Elegance in simplicity. I did a home video of the maze scene with some neighbor kids and I had this shirt.

Andrew: I feel like this one, too, is at the Wizarding World park.

Micah: We did the maze at Magic at Play.

Eric: You guys ever search for Christmas trees and you feel like that? They’re everywhere. They’re all around you. How are you going to pick the right one? That’s me every December.

Laura: We have a fake tree, so I don’t get that experience. I’m allergic, unfortunately.

Eric: How can you be allergic to Christmas?

Andrew: Don’t you like joy?

Laura: No.

[Eric laughs]

Laura: No, actually, Christmas is my second favorite holiday. Halloween is number one.

Andrew: Wait, wait. I think – if I may speak for you, Laura – Laura’s birthday is very close to Christmas. Is that why you don’t like Christmas? Because it takes away from the real…?

Laura: [laughs] I mean, it does take away from my birthday for real, my entire life. But no, I mean, I actually really like Christmas, but I like Halloween just a little bit more.

Eric: Do you already know what you’re doing this Halloween?

Laura: No, isn’t it on a Tuesday or something lame this year?

Andrew: It is.

Eric: Yeah, well, usually the weekend before would be the weekend where everyone goes to parties.

Laura: Yeah, we might be going to visit some friends, but I don’t know.

Eric: I love the idea where it’s like, if it’s a Tuesday, Laura just doesn’t celebrate her favorite holiday.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Well, what I mean is…

Andrew: She celebrates it once every six years.

Eric: Yeah, six out of every eight years she just sits home.

Laura: Well, okay, nobody’s work closes for Halloween, unfortunately.

Eric: No, it sucks. I’m working Halloween. It’s awful. Not looking forward to it.

Laura: I should take off on Halloween. Screw it.

Eric: You should, just to stick it to them.

Andrew: Okay, you heard it here first, folks. Laura will not be working on Halloween.

Eric: That’s Fleur being repurposed. That is insane.

Andrew: I mean, you’re off work by the time Halloween, the real fun begins. Right? So I would take off November 1, I think, and then party.

Laura: Yeah, that’s true. And then you do Day of the Dead on November 1, a two-day celebration.

Eric: Who’s collecting the people?

Micah: Well, and since Harry did that, shouldn’t Harry be the one taken out?

Eric: Well, isn’t it just now they know where to find her decomposing body?

Micah: I guess?

Eric: This reminds me of the mazes in Link, in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom with the wind tunnel going through the labyrinth. Except you don’t have that boss-ass music.

Micah: What’s interesting is we see all three of the Unforgivables in a very short window here.

Eric: That’s fun.

Micah: Because we presume Krum is under are the Imperius Curse, right?

Eric: Yes, except in this movie it’s showcased as glossy eyes, which they should have carried over to later.

Micah: But we also see the Cruciatus Curse coming up…

Eric: And the death curse.

Micah: … as well as Avada Kedavra. Yeah, should’ve let him stay there.

Eric: Yeah, would have saved his life to be a little selfish.

Laura: Yeah, you would’ve come in real clutch there, Harry. You go die, but no, you’re all noble and stuff…

Eric: “Harry! This adaptation really sucks!” The vines. Well, lucky he didn’t Cedric with that… “Harry, the plot’s got me.” That’s a great moment of truth there. Honesty. That’s very Harry, actually. I really like that. Oh no, the maze is back. The good news is I like all of the other movies that came after this much better.

Andrew: Only up from here.


The graveyard


Eric: That said, everything from this point forward is awesome. Voldemort’s return could have been so many things, and they had to get it right and they do. It’s just so tingly.

Laura: Tingly, huh?

Eric: Yeah. You tingling yet?

Laura: Not yet.

Eric: Wait for it. No like, Ralph Fiennes coming into the role, having just been given a body. It’s real cool.

Andrew: New body, new me.

Laura: Yeah, he’s good. I will say I felt… and we’ll see how I feel when we watch the scene. I felt like he leaned a little bit too much into the snake motif.

Eric: Somebody had to.

Laura: Like, I get it, but it just felt a little cartoony.

Andrew: Well, some of us are very comfortable channeling a snake.

Laura: What do you say, Andrew?

Andrew: Some of us are very comfortable channeling a snake. That’s just the area we like to work through as actors.

Laura: [laughs] I see.

Andrew: Update, I wolfed down three pieces of Domino’s handmade pan pepperoni and I’m full.

Laura: Did you unhinge your jaw like a snake to do it?

Andrew: Basically. Yeah, that was me putting the first slice in. I was really going down on it.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Sorry, we’re missing critical scenes right now.

Laura: This is supposed to be a family friendly commentary.

Andrew: There was nothing wrong about what I said.

Laura: No, no, not at all.

Micah: How is that unwillingly given?

Eric: Well, he’s dead. He can’t consent.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Not just flesh. He put a little bone in there too.

Laura: You know how much force it would take to cut off your own hand?

Eric: Not with a really sharp knife

Micah: I mean, let’s be real, what he honestly needs is a nose, not a hand.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Yeah, the way that’s shot is pretty cool.

Laura: This is all because you let him get away last year, Harry.

Eric: Yeah, doesn’t that feel great, Harry?

Laura: He’s sitting there right now being like, “Dumbledore said that letting Pettigrew go will have made all the difference!”

Andrew: Right? Harry is too good.

Eric: I love how Voldemort is 20% cauldron right now, because the cauldron disappeared too.

Laura: I do like how it’s giving him robes, so he’s not nakey.

Eric: Yeah, otherwise a Death Eater would have to do it. They’d have to be like, [whispers] “My Lord, you’re nakey.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Specifically using the word “nakey” too.

Eric: It’s real good.

Laura: Oh, Micah, Cassie is calling out that that was recycled CGI.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Ain’t that the truth.

Laura: Looks like Lupin’s wolf.

Andrew: Well, and honestly little baby Voldemort, it looks just like him in Deathly Hallows.

Micah: Well, actually, the transformation of Krum from the shark back into Krum was reminiscent of Lupin transforming to a werewolf.

Andrew: Oh, I thought you were going to say Sharkboy and Lavagirl, the movie.

Eric: There’s no way that Ollivander gave that bone wand to 11-year-old Tom Riddle. There’s no way.

Micah: Ralph Fiennes is so scary.

Laura: He needs to get his nails did, that’s…

Micah: Which one?

Laura: Well, both of them…

Micah: Both? They could go together?

Laura: [laughs] I was thinking about Voldemort. Yikes.

Eric: Why can everybody fly?

Laura: I liked the way they did the costumes for the Death Eaters in this movie. They changed them, didn’t they?

Eric: Well, the pointed hoods never come back.

Laura: Yeah, they were like, “Oh, it’s a little too KKK, I guess.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I was just thinking that too. It is always interesting to see how things evolve in the series, like these costumes. I’m trying to think of other examples. There’s definitely been others. Obviously Hogwarts, but… I don’t know.

Laura: He’s like, “How do you know? You were out in the forests of Albania, man.”

Eric: Tell him about the diary, Lucius. Man, Wormtail gets no love.

Laura: He looks so happy right now. Voldemort is like, stroking his hair.

Micah: There’s your manicure, Laura.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Metal manicure. Touches him with his foot, I love it.

Laura: Eww, and look, he needs a pedicure too!

Eric: I love it so much. I just picture that scene from Dumb and Dumber where they use a saw to give them pedicures, like a grinder.

Laura: He needs one.

Eric: Voldemort looks so fresh.

Laura: I know, he gets rougher over the course of the movies, which makes sense.

Eric: He’s not even that pale, but it looks like new skin in the moonlight. Maybe it’s that translucent quality, sore so than a white pigment.

Laura: Yeah, I think that he also just gets more haggard-looking over the next few movies.

Eric: I agree. He definitely looks like Hagrid.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: They’re both screaming. He just kissed his own Horcrux.

Andrew: [laughs] Kissed his own Horcrux.

Eric: By a bumbling idiot. Now, this is straight from the book, forcing him to bow. That’s why this scene…

Andrew: Isn’t it so exciting whenever there’s something straight from the book? It’s like, “Yes! Yes! They did the thing!”

Eric: Yeah, it’s so rare in this movie, but they couldn’t skip this. This is why this scene works, it’s so close to the book.

Andrew: I do love the goblet glowing in the background the whole time too. I think I maybe mentioned this on air before or after recording, I had the Goblet of Fire from the noble collection. I don’t know where it is. I wanted to take my shot out of that, but I just couldn’t find it. That would have been cool. Maybe I sold it on eBay. I don’t know.

Micah: I forgot about all these close-up shots of Voldemort. They are really good. And to the point you were talking about before, that gleam?

Eric: Yeah, Ralph Fiennes is good consistently the whole series, but I think there’s something very special about now. This is the man that these Death Eaters are all familiar with. But Harry isn’t. And it’s also strong from a Harry perspective. This isn’t just him having things happen to him. He’s choosing. I hate how every spell became this way, though.

Laura: This is one of my biggest pet peeves. They turned everything into Priori Incantatem.

Eric: It only happens once.

Andrew: I totally agree with what you’re both saying, but it is cinematic.

Laura: And that’s why they stuck with it.

Eric: I appreciate it’s like molten lava-ey.

Andrew: And I guess… [sighs] Did they need to do it as many times as they ended up doing it? No, but I’m just thinking about the average person seeing this movie, not reading Harry Potter.

Laura: For someone who’s not a book reader, yeah.

Andrew: It’s almost like a car race. Like, who’s going to get there first? Who’s going to get to the other end first?

Eric: I can appreciate that when this first started happening, you see Voldemort look up kind of like, “What? What’s going on?”

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: James? “Dad?”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: “My boy!”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: “I’m his boy.”

Micah: Frank doesn’t get any lines?

Andrew: He’s Frank.

Micah: Frank Bryce.

Eric: Yeah, no, nothing.

Andrew: No, I said, “He’s Frank.” He’s just Frank. That’s why he’s not getting any lines.

Laura: He’s just chilling. Is he a Ken?

Andrew: [laughs] He’s Ken, yeah.

Eric: I think in the book Frank Bryce is like, “He was a wizard, that man,” or something?

Laura: I do love that whole “No!” Yeah, see, the Hogwarts band is unhinged. How do you not see that there’s a literal corpse?

Eric: Could be sleeping.

Andrew: Maybe he’s just exhausted. Yeah, like, “Whoa, can’t believe that just happened.” This is like… I mean, shocker. This is just such a horrible scene in a good way.

Eric: All right, I’m going to try and listen to it and not turn away.

Andrew: I need to use the bathroom again. Just kidding.

Eric: Not yet. Okay, right now, Harry, court martial. How did he ask you to bring his body back if he was already dead?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Fudge actually a man of action there in that moment. The damage is done.

Micah: Classic politician.

Andrew: Everybody sit down. I’m so glad this was all revisited in Cursed Child.

Eric: Yeah, they picked the absolute…

Laura: I mean, I have to say right now, I feel bad about making that joke earlier now.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Laura, it was perfect. It was perfect.

Laura: I agree. I still feel bad about it, though. I wouldn’t change it.

Eric: Okay, let’s be clear. Yeah, all right.

Andrew: I would.


Moody’s office


Eric: “Professor, do you think I might get my arm looked at?”

Micah: It’s also very strange that he just doesn’t take Harry somewhere else.

Eric: Well, isn’t that what tips Dumbledore off? Because real Moody never would have separated him like that. “Careful, Professor, the last time somebody tried to fix my arm…”

Laura: And it was the Defense Against the Dark teacher too.

Andrew: This is all very triggering for him.

Eric: Somebody forgot his potion just like somebody forgot the full moon.

Andrew: Not again!

Laura: Sensing a trend here.

Eric: At least they have the consistency between the Polyjuice being the bubbling of the skin that goes back. That effect, while off-putting, remains consistent. The eye pops out soon.

Andrew: So creepy how interested he is in the details.

Eric: “Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder.”

Andrew: He did a good Hagrid impression. You’ve got to give him that.

Laura: Oh, this is an incredible performance.

Andrew: Yeah, I mean, I’m talking about the character jokingly.

Laura: Oh yeah, but I just mean, even thinking about the very short snippet we get of him in the courtroom scene, he’s playing Moody completely differently in that scene, which is another tip off that Moody is not Moody. Did he just lick it?

Micah: Probably, yeah.

Laura: Gross.

Andrew: My movie has just become increasingly out of sync with y’all.

Laura: Really?

Andrew: I didn’t pause it or anything but I’m a little behind. The lick happened like five seconds after you guys. Darn digital edition.

Eric: It’s a frame rate thing. I’ve never understood how that happens exactly, but it’s weird.

Andrew: Well, this is too nerdy, but there’s 29.97 and then there’s something else, and… blah, blah, blah.

Eric: The Veritaserum really went straight down the hatch there. This is a cool thing.

Micah: I loved how they stopped to get Veritaserum before they came to rescue Harry.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Maybe Snape has just been carrying it around this whole time.

Eric: Didn’t he threaten Harry with it?

Andrew: I mean, would you put that past him?

Eric: There’s just normal Brendan Gleeson! Not Harry. This is like a Mission Impossible movie. They take the mask off.

Andrew: I like how they’re so shocked that somebody could be posing as someone else.

Laura: Right, because we’ve never seen that before.

Andrew: [laughs] And here’s this series’ Johnny Depp moment.

Eric: Why does Dumbledore bring Harry’s wrist forward as if to honor a magically binding commitment when Barty Crouch is just like, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”? You don’t need to show him yours. What happened between them?

Laura: Well, I mean, they probably worked together at some point.

Micah: I was just going to say, the interesting thing they left out of the movie, too, is that in the book, you see Dumbledore and Snape – more specifically Snape – in the Foe Glass, which would indicate that Snape is an enemy of Barty Crouch, Jr.

Eric: Yeah.

Micah: Which proves that Snape is “good.”

Eric: That’s a great point.

Andrew: I thought this was another good Michael Gambon moment.

Eric: This was fine.

Andrew: Fine.

Micah: The lines aren’t great.

Andrew: This part, yes, a little too heavy handed.

Eric: He’s always screaming.

Micah: That’s the thing. It’s over delivered.

Laura: But it’s funny because his delivery wasn’t like this in Prisoner.

Eric: Well, what does he say in Prisoner? “Good night”? That’s about it, right?

Laura: I mean, we hear a little more from him, but point taken. That said, it really feels like a product of the direction and the writing.

Eric: Yeah, Movie 3, I think they were a little self-conscious about the casting so they were like, “Less is more.” Movie 4, more is more. Too much is more. But again, they nail it in 6.

Laura: I agree.

Andrew: This part was good, though. “Celebrate a boy who was kind and honest.”

Eric: I like the ceiling.

Laura: And honestly, because of what happens in Cursed Child, we know that this was the best thing to happen, I guess. If Cedric had lived, he apparently would have gone to the Dark side.

Andrew: Yeah, it was for the best. Absolutely.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Unless you don’t accept that as canon. Cursed Child? We don’t know her.

Andrew: I think the angry moments of Dumbledore… we’ve basically spoken about this tonight. You can just blame Mike Newell. I would just put the blame squarely on him, having heard previously he was not the cast’s favorite director. A little too heavy handed in general, I think.

Micah: But this moment that we’re watching right now is much better.

Andrew: Yes. That was an iconic line. “Dark and difficult times lie ahead.” It was a minute ago for you guys, but it just happened for me.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Is this the movie that ends with them on the Astronomy Tower?

Laura: No, I think that was 6.

Eric: They’re at the top of the school, though, because the carriages take off or something.

Micah: I think they’re just here in the courtyard.

Eric: Harry gets the Firebolt out.

Andrew: Something ends on the Astronomy Tower in Movie 6, Laura, but it’s not the movie.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s the upcoming ride in Orlando. Oh, they put Gabrielle in normal clothes.

Micah: I think 6 does end on the Astronomy Tower, though, with Fawkes flying away.

Laura: Yeah, it does.

Eric: Yeah, right here, isn’t it? Okay. You guys got me. This is the entrance courtyard.

Laura: To be honest, I feel like the vibe right now is too cheerful.

Eric: Did the Durmstrang ship just fire a cannonball at Hogwarts?

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Micah: It was to honor Cedric.

Andrew: It did look like it was directly at the school.

Eric: The smoke trail, yeah, if you follow that line, half of the hospital wing is gone.

Andrew: [laughs] “There hasn’t been enough trouble this this year; let’s fire a cannon at the school as well.”

Eric: I knew you were trouble when you floated in.

Andrew: “Thanks, y’all. We’re not coming back.”

Eric: Why did she say that so cheery?

Micah: She just got a little make-out session before Krum left.

Andrew: She’s in love.

Eric: Harry can’t tie a tie. Harry, next time, try the double Windsor.

Andrew: Butterflies. Yeah, it’s not a great knot.

Eric: I appreciate that you and I appreciate that.

Andrew: I can’t tie a tie, fun fact about me.

Eric: Really? After all these years?

Andrew: Always.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I’ll teach you.

Andrew: We should rank the ending shots of the movies sometime. That’d be fun.

Eric: This is pretty good.

Andrew: This one would not – oh. [laughs] I was going to say, this would not rank high.

Eric: No, because the ship sinks and then the camera pans up to the sky as the… it’s cool.

Andrew: The ship sinks? Is the camera going to tilt up? Is that what you mean?

Micah: It descends.

Andrew: Oh, oh, it goes down. I was still thinking about that cannon.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Sorry, yeah, it fires a few more shots and then Hogwarts retaliates. Flitwick gets up on the rafters.

Andrew: And again, I’m 10-15 seconds behind you. [laughs]

Eric: I’m sorry.

Andrew: No, no, it’s not your fault.

Micah: The movie is over for us already.

Andrew: Well, there we go. That was Goblet of Fire.

Eric: Wow.

Micah: We should rank the endings of the films.

Andrew: That would be fun, right?

Eric: That one was good

Micah: Prisoner of Azkaban is probably worst, honestly.

Eric: Yeah, freeze-frame is…

Andrew: Yes, in part because I went to the bathroom for the end of that movie the first time I saw it. I didn’t think it was about to end. Then I came back and it was over, I was like, “Whoa.”

Eric: Is there an after credits?

Laura: I don’t think that was a thing at this point in time.

Eric: It was in Movie 2.

Micah: Yeah, they did in Chamber of Secrets.

Laura: What was in the after…?

Eric: It’s Gilderoy Lockhart’s book cover of Who Am I? in the storefront of Flourish and Blotts.

Laura: Oh, that’s right.

Andrew: Well, that was a lot of fun. It’s always nice to sit back and just talk about what we’re watching.

Eric: I’ve got to say, doing the commentary with the Discord watchers audience was really cool.

Laura: Yeah, this was great.

Andrew: Thanks, everybody who joined us on Patreon tonight. It is a Friday night. It’s almost 11 p.m. Eastern, so we appreciate those who stayed up late on a Friday.

Micah: We’ll see you in 12 hours.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yes, we are recording in 12 hours from now. It’s a Muggle Mail episode, so there’ll be less cognitive load, I feel. But so that leaves us, gang…

Micah: Oh, I set them up with some tough questions, though. Don’t you worry.

Eric: [laughs] I would expect nothing less, Micah. Thank you.

Micah: And a bonus MuggleCast, which is actually about Goblet of Fire.

Eric: Oh my God. I think I have to go to bed.

Andrew: Yeah, we will wrap this up. I just want to give everybody a brief little recap here. We have done movie commentaries for Movie 1, 3, 4, 6, and 8, and then all three Fantastic Beasts movies. So we still have Chamber, yep, and then Order of the Phoenix.

Eric: 7, 5, and 2. 2, 5, and 7.

Andrew: Yes.

Micah: Wow, we’re all over the place with these.

Andrew: We really are. Let’s make a mental note, let’s do Order of the Phoenix before Order of the Phoenix Chapter by Chapter.

Eric: That’s settled.

Laura: Great call.

Andrew: In another like year from now.

Eric: Hey, we’re blessed with content.

Andrew: We are. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Thanks for your support. If you have any feedback about the movie or anything else we discussed today, you know where to find us. MuggleCast.com, click on “Contact.” I don’t have all the usual notes pulled up, but you know the drill.

Laura: Yeah. Also, don’t forget to take the 2023 MuggleCast listener survey. Whether you’re a patron or not, the survey is open to everyone through October 6. Help us improve the show. Thank you so, so much.

Andrew: Thanks, everybody, again, and we’ll see you next time. Goodbye.

Eric: Bye.

Laura: Bye, y’all.

Transcript #628

 

MuggleCast 628 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #628, Did the Dursley’s Gifts to Harry Foreshadow ‘Deathly Hallows’? And More MuggleMail


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And this week, we’re getting owl post again as we bust open the Muggle mailbag to get your feedback on Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. And boy, did we get a lot of great feedback. Micah once again curated it all. And boy, do we have – according to Micah – the best theory he may have ever heard!

Micah: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Coming up. But first, we do have a couple of announcements, and then we’re going to wrap up Prisoner of Azkaban. Laura, you have an important reminder for everybody.

Laura: That’s right. As a reminder, the MuggleCast 2023 listener survey is live now. The survey is going to be open through October 6, and we want to know what you love about the show, what you think we could do to improve it, and what other content you’d be interested in us making in the future. We’re also asking anyone who supports us on our Patreon about their experiences, so we can improve the bonus content over there as well. The survey is open to all whether you’re a Patreon supporter or not, and it will be available through our website and our show notes and across our various social channels. Again, thanks to everyone who’s taken the survey so far, and thanks in advance to everyone who will take it here over the next couple of weeks. We couldn’t do this without you.

Eric: The survey questions for non-patrons is really simple. It’s two questions. Question one is, are you a patron? And question two is, why not?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: In a way, it’s like that. It’s a little more intricate.

Eric: But yeah, it’s interesting that this genuinely… Laura, you did an amazing job with this. I enjoyed filling it out under various names.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: And it really does help us move the show forward.

Andrew: Yes, Eric, your submissions definitely help us. [laughs]

Laura: We’ll see. Now I’m going to have to go through the data and figure out which bogus responses to omit.

Eric: I put little Easter eggs in there.

Andrew: Don’t do that. No, no, no. We don’t want to encourage listeners to start playing around with that.

Eric: No, I’m only I’m only adding humor so it sparks the engagement of people going and… guys, do this; Laura worked really hard on it, and we’re going to use it. We’re going to use the info for growing the show in a way that you desire.

Micah: For a lot of fun things.

Andrew: You can help us shape the future of the show, so please don’t hesitate to fill that out. And we mentioned Patreon, Micah. We do bonus MuggleCast twice a month, and we’re recording a new one today, right? What can listeners expect later this week?

Micah: Yeah, we’re recording a new edition of bonus MuggleCast today. And given that we are just about to start Goblet of Fire, we did our Goblet of Fire movie commentary last night. I think a Time-Turner has to be involved in some way to have this all makes sense as we talk about it here.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: But yeah, given that inspiration, I thought it’d be fun to talk about what didn’t make the movie. So it’s actually a good thing we watched the movie last night, and now we’re going to talk about what we love so much in the Goblet of Fire book that didn’t make the cut for the film, but certainly could be a possibility for the Harry Potter TV reboot.

Andrew: Yes.

Micah: And should be, in many cases.

Andrew: It’s going to be a long season of that show. But yeah, that’ll be a lot of fun to discuss at patreon.com/MuggleCast this week. So Micah, you also dropped a new playlist on Spotify. We’ve all done playlists, and last but not least, you created a playlist for us, for listeners.

Micah: Yeah, I’ve been busy this week. So I created a playlist that is Quidditch-themed. And you all mentioned that you did it for your respective Houses, and of course, Laura and I are in the same House, and she did such a great job with Ravenclaw that I thought I’d take a little bit of a different spin here. I had a lot of fun putting it together, and so hopefully, whether you’re just using it to go for a walk or you’re working out at the gym, it’s something that’ll amp you up a little bit, get you ready for for your workout.

Andrew: Or, of course, if you’re playing Quidditch.

Micah: Oh yeah, that too.

Andrew: We will have a link to that in the show notes, and the link is already available on social media. Those are the announcements for this week.


Chapter by Chapter wrap-up

Andrew: And now we are going to wrap up Prisoner of Azkaban Chapter by Chapter. First we are going to reread every single one of our Seven-Word Summaries that we did for Book 3. Then we are going to redo one of the Seven-Word Summaries – we voted on which one we were going to redo in advance of recording – and then we will do a Seven-Word Summary for the entire book before jumping into Muggle Mail today. Let’s hear all of our Prisoner of Azkaban Seven-Word Summaries in order now. Chapter 1: Owls deliver presents to Harry’s bedroom window.

Eric: Chapter 2: Aunt Marge enjoys abusing Harry every minute.

Micah: Chapter 3: Help arrives for Harry after an encounter.

Laura: Chapter 4: Discoveries are everywhere around this Leaky Cauldron.

Andrew: Chapter 5: Fear about the murderer abounds on trains.

Eric: Chapter 6: McGonagall shades Trelawney during Transfiguration class, ooh.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Chapter 7: Neville fears rebuke when Snape poisons Trevor.

Laura: Chapter 8: Teachers forbid Harry from going to Hogsmeade.

Andrew: Chapter 9: Suspicions rock the Hogwarts student body tonights.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Chapter 10: Secrets are divulged via professors drinking butterbeer.

Micah: Chapter 11: Somebody sends a Firebolt mysteriously to Harry.

Laura: Chapter 12: Lupin teaches Harry how to fight Dementors.

Andrew: Chapter 13: Cho distracts Harry with her amazing looks.

Eric: Chapter 14: Mud finds its recipient.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Is this the one we didn’t finish?

Eric: Yeah, Micah was like, “Leave it.”

Andrew: That’s my favorite one.

Micah: It’s accurate. Chapter 15: Fatigue sets in for Hermione intensely, whoa.

Laura: Chapter 16: Exams consume clairvoyance and shocking revelations, executions.

Andrew: Chapter 17: Sirius attacks Ron viciously when Scabbers appears.

Eric: Chapter 18: Lupin reveals backstory to many children, ta-dah!

Micah: Chapter 19: Pettigrew begs Harry for forgiveness for murder.

Laura: Chapter 20: Chaos ensues on Hogwarts grounds under moonlight.

Andrew: Chapter 21: Hermione saves Buckbeak with a Time-Turner.

Eric: And Chapter 22: Justice is served by Hermione and Harry.

Andrew: All right, so we all voted in advance, and with three votes, the winner of the redo is actually Chapter 3: “Help arrives for Harry after an encounter.” That was voted on by Micah, Laura, and myself.

Eric: So Chapter 3 is, of course, “The Knight Bus,” usually.

Andrew: Usually? [laughs]

Eric: Yes, when it’s not being titled by us.

Andrew: Oh, oh, okay.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I want to remind people because we’re going to redo it, right. So it’s “The Knight Bus,” Harry puts his arm out, he sees the Grim…

Andrew: It’s important for us too, yeah. So here we go!

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Eric: Stan…

Laura: … arrives…

Micah: … to…

Andrew: … pick…

Eric: … “Neville”…

Laura: … up…

Micah: … safely.

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]

Eric: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Okay! I like it. I like the Neville choice.

Laura: I actually think it’s a better summary than what we had before.

Andrew: It is, and that’s why we do this.

Eric: And Neville is in quotes.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: And now we’re going to do a Seven-Word Book Summary!

Laura: I’m bored.

Andrew: Same order. Here we go.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Eric: Sirius…

Laura: … prevails…

Micah: … over…

Andrew: … Ministry…

Eric: Ooh… officials…

Laura: … and…

Micah: Snape.

Eric: There we go!

[Micah laughs]

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]


Muggle Mail


Andrew: So to kick off Muggle Mail this week, instead of hearing ourselves talk more, reading your amazing emails, we’ll start with voicemails. And I teased earlier: We have what Micah says may be the best theory he’s ever heard. I can’t wait to hear what this person Cameron said concerning the Dursleys’ Christmas presents.

[Voicemail plays]

“Hi, this is Cameron. I’ve been a listener since the beginning of COVID, and I’m 14 years old, and I just called in to tell you of a theory that I had. I recently finished the fourth book in another reread, and I started focusing on all the gifts that the Dursleys give Harry. I’ve always kind of wondered why they give him gifts, since they usually just send him something that they probably picked from the trash. And I’ve always kind of thought that it was probably Hedwig who would bug them into sending him something. And I started looking at it, and they send him three gifts throughout the series. In the Sorcerer’s Stone, they send him a 50-pence piece. In the second book, they send him a tissue, and in the fourth book, they send him a toothpick. And I don’t know, maybe this theory is kind of a stretch, but a 50-pence piece, in the way that you flip it over and that it doesn’t really have much value unless you look into it, is kind of like the Resurrection Stone. A toothpick is kind of like a wand, maybe the Elder Wand. And a tissue is kind of like a cloak, maybe a Cloak of Invisibility. Now, I’m not saying that the Dursleys were Death, or that they really knew what they were doing. But maybe J.K. set this in as a little teaser for the Deathly Hallows. Just a theory. I love to listen. Bye!”

[Voicemail ends]

Andrew: Wow. Thanks, Cameron.

Laura: I love this. As I was listening to this, I was putting it together and being like, “Oh my god, it’s the Deathly Hallows!” This is such an amazing catch. For anyone who was watching, my face was like, mind blown listening to this.

Micah: Yeah, I saw your face.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: This is so good, Cameron.

Andrew: That is very interesting. I would agree with you that the Dursleys didn’t see what they were doing, of course, but maybe it was an idea from J.K.

Laura: It’s an Easter egg.

Eric: And I checked, and this holds up. I had a memory of the Dursleys giving Harry a coat hanger and one of Vernon’s old socks, but that happened for his 10th birthday, so before the book is set. So yes, during the course of the books, it is only these three gifts that we know about. This is phenomenal.

Micah: Pretty amazing, yeah. And what’s wild is that we’ve been doing this for 18 years. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that theory, ever.

Laura: No.

Micah: So great job, Cameron.

Eric: The next generation is totally fine. Good for you.

Micah: All right, I’m done with the show for the day.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: One of us has to step away and Cameron has to step up. This is the changing of the guard that was foretold.

Andrew: We have so much great feedback today. Here’s a voicemail from Eden, concerning why Voldemort really has no hair.

[Voicemail plays]

“Hey, MuggleCast, this is Eden. I’m a 12-year-old Gryffindor, and I just wanted to share with you something pretty funny that I found. So I was looking through Harry Potter stories and I found one that said that the reason Voldemort didn’t have any hair is so no one can make a Polyjuice Potion of him. I thought that was pretty cool. I think Voldemort really just did it, though, to add to the whole baddie vibe… but that’s a pretty cool added bonus, and it got me thinking, too, of Voldemort with a mullet. Anyway, thank you so much. Love the show. Bye.”

[Voicemail ends]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: That’s great.

Eric: That’s also very cool.

Laura: That’s a good call-out, Eden.

Eric: I suppose you could do it with toenails, but nobody would want to get that close.

Andrew: Eww. His feet definitely smell.

Eric: Oh man.

Micah: I really liked this. And I was trying to think… there’s something about the bald character trait that seems to signify a level of power. I feel like when you… at least for me when I look back on other series that I’ve either watched or read, there’s this significance… people in the magical world, when they’re bald, they seem to have this certain level of power. I don’t know if I’m just making things up at this point.

Eric: Kingsley, Voldemort… who else?

Micah: Slytherin.

Andrew: Mr. Freeze.

Eric: Absolutely.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: I believe most depictions of Slytherin have him as being bald as well.

Andrew: People are listening live right now on Patreon and Margot -am I pronouncing that name right? Margot said, “I’m so glad we have a new generation reading the books and bringing us new theories.” Yes, good call. That’s not an observation I considered before, the back half of that. All right, next voicemail is from Alex with a Snape and Neville theory.

[Voicemail plays]

“Hi, MuggleCast. Stereotypically first time caller, longtime listener. But I had a theory that I wanted to throw your way. I wanted to see what you think. So as we know, Severus Snape is very brutal and very mean to Neville. Of course to Harry, but really Neville. And with Harry, we get it, but Neville, it’s never really so much explained. I have a theory and I want to know what you all think. My theory is because Snape might have known the prophecy, maybe every time he sees Neville, he thinks to himself, ‘It should have been you. It could have been you, and Lily would have been safe.’ Maybe that’s why he channeled so much anger and frustration into Neville. Not okay, of course. Not justified. But it’s a theory. Wanted to know what you all think. Big fan. Hope to hear from you soon, bye.”

[Voicemail ends]

Andrew: 100%. Love it.

Eric and Laura: Yeah.

Eric: This is brilliant. The only thing I would add to this is the first lesson with Snape ever, Snape as a teacher comes across as not liking what he says are dunderheads. And so he’s over-teaching, in general, incompetent students, because he’s the kind of teacher where he’s like, “Well, it’s easy for me. It’s intuitive for me. Why can’t you get it? You’re stupid.” He has disdain for students that maybe need a little extra help, so that is added on to everything he feels about the prophecy that Alex is saying, and Neville is just the worst at that.

Andrew: Bonus points for your delivery, Alex, of Snape’s thoughts when you were voice-acting. That was really good. Next voicemail, from a mystery caller about the full moon.

[Voicemail plays]

“Hey, guys, I was just listening to this week’s episode when you were talking about Lupin’s transformation. I do some rituals during the new and full moon, and if you look up moon phases and when the full moon is, it’s actually… the reason why Lupin might turn at a specific time is because there’s a certain time that is recorded where the moon is the highest in the sky. This Wednesday, I think it’s actually at 7:30. And other days, other months, it could be 2:00 in the morning, it could be in the afternoon where the full moon is high in the sky, maybe not visible, but still highest in the sky. So I think Lupin’s transformation has less to do with the moonlight – maybe that’s more for dramatic flair – and more to do with the certain timing of the moon phases. Just thought I’d leave that feedback. Hopefully you can hear this; I’m in my car driving to work. Love you guys so much. Bye.”

[Voicemail ends]

Laura: Hey, we love you too. And yeah, I think this is a really good call-out, actually. I think it’s one of those things we can think about as headcanon. I know we’ve talked quite a bit about headcanon in recent history, but just taking something like this and plugging it in to fill the information gap where it feels like a plothole…. but something like this could perfectly explain it, which is great.

Eric: I love this. Yeah, and I love that there’s a certain specific time where rituals have higher success, or the significance of the placement of the moon in addition to all the other cool things that the moon does for us and all the other ways in which its cycle is broken down… good stuff. Really, really love this theory.

Micah: Yep. And just a reminder, when folks do call us, to leave your name. We want to be able to credit you for your voicemail, and I think there’s a tendency sometimes for people to forget. Just wanted to throw that reminder out there, much like Cameron and Eden did. Follow the youngsters; leave your name when you drop us a voicemail.

Andrew: I think also people just… when you leave a voicemail, typically… I know older generations, they still say, “Hi, it’s Grandma.” I know it’s Grandma; I can see that on caller ID. Younger generations aren’t as used to having to say your name, so I see why people forget.

Laura: Well, yeah, and also, I’ll say this: Maybe not everybody wants their name to be shared. In that event, I would say come up with a creative nickname. Think about some of the nicknames people use for Quizzitch.

Micah: Like I do on Quizzitch. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, do that.

Andrew: Or just say, “I’m Tonks.” Pick a Harry Potter character. All right, well, thanks to everybody who does call in and write in. We really appreciate the voicemails; we love hearing our listeners. If you would like to get in touch with us, if you want to drop a voicemail yourself, you can send a voice memo to MuggleCast@gmail.com. Just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone. Or you can call our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE, 1-920-368-4453. When you do call us, give us your name, or a made up name, and try to keep your message about a minute long.

Micah: Most of these emails are related to Prisoner of Azkaban, but we do have a few at the end that are kind of random. [laughs] I guess it’s the best way to categorize them.

Andrew: And we’ll also end with some sweet chicken soup emails too.

Eric: Aww.

Laura: Well, our first one comes from author C.K. Brooke. I looked this up; C.K. Brooke is an author of YA fantasy romance, so definitely check them out. But Micah, I think you’re getting called out a little bit here. So C.K. says,

“Hey, y’all,”

Thank you for including that.

“I’m writing in response to Micah’s question in your recent Chapter by Chapter discussion of Chapter 21 of Prisoner of Azkaban. In the episode, Micah asked if the Time-Turner might simply have been a lack of creativity on the author’s part, for not being able to think of a better way to free Buckbeak and Sirius. Respectfully, I wanted to say that not only was I dissatisfied with the explanation he gave, but I think the question itself misses the point entirely.”

Micah: Well, hold on. She said “the explanation I was given,” so she’s talking… not only was she dissatisfied with my question, she was dissatisfied with the response that was given from the rest of you all.

Laura: Oh, I see.

Andrew: She handles this very nicely, though.

Laura: Yeah, no, it’s funny.

Micah: It’s all of our faults.

Laura: That’s true. I read the sentence wrong. So,

“From a writer’s perspective, while saving Buckbeak and Sirius is part of the immediate plot, the deeper and overarching theme is that Harry must save himself. Before going back in time, Harry believes it’s his dad who conjured the Patronus that saved him. Only with the Time-Turner could he come to the pivotal realization that it was he, and not his dad, who had to save himself. This speaks to larger themes in the series of Harry’s self-reliance and eventual savior-hood. As well, consider the symbolism behind the message: Your father is not coming to save you; you must save yourself. I suspect this to be a reflection of the author’s feelings toward her own father, from whom we know she’s long been estranged. Whether this messaging was intentional or subconscious on her behalf, though, is probably a separate discussion. So the purpose of time travel in Book 3 is far more than just a device by which to rescue Sirius and Buckbeak. Rather, it was an ingenious way for Harry to be in two places at once so he could literally save himself, thereby learning the self-reliance he needs in order to become the savior of wizardkind. I was a little surprised that nobody touched on this in your discussion, but hopefully it sheds more light on why, from a writing perspective, time travel was a perfectly fitting and creative method by which to convey several of the series’ major themes. Thanks for reading. Hope you keep up the show for many years to come. Peace and love.”

No, I love this

Andrew: Peace and love. Peace and love! I love it too.

Micah: All right, C.K., trying to soften at the end. “Peace and love.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I thought it’s thoughtful.

Micah: No, I agree with you. I think that one of the things to keep in mind is it’s good for us to throw out different questions for the purpose of discussion, right? And I think that, especially when you’re the person who’s responsible for planning a discussion, you try and come up with different ways to pose it to the rest of the panel, and I think that for me, in this moment, I was probably only thinking purely from the standpoint of how the plot plays out, and could there have been a more interesting way for Sirius to have been freed? But I think C.K. really does make a strong point here in that as much as this is about Sirius and Buckbeak, it is about Harry, and Harry having that confidence-building moment to know that there are things that he can do that he doesn’t even know. So I really like this point that she’s making.

Laura: Yeah, same. And honestly, you asking that question, Micah, is exactly what opened the door for a really great email like this to come in.

Andrew: Thank you, C.K. And now, this next email comes from Katie concerning Lupin’s lesson plans, another interesting observation here.

“Have you guys noted that all of Lupin’s DADA lessons are creature-centric? Why? Boggarts, grindylows, Kappas, red caps… was there ever a non-creature focused lesson? There’s surely more to DADA than defense against potentially dangerous creatures? Perhaps Lupin has a special interest in magical beasts given his personal history, or was he just following the traditional textbook? Maybe it’s the theme of the year three text. Is Lupin teaching about defensive spells and other aspects of Dark magic to other years? I have always wondered this, and I’m curious to know your thoughts. Sincerely, former Pickle Pack member Katie.”

Micah: Ooh.

Andrew: Clever way to sign your name.

Laura: Oh man, Katie is an OG.

Andrew: Katie said maybe it’s the theme of the year three text. I would extend that and say it’s a theme of Book 3, and that’s why there’s a focus from the writing perspective. But also, I like this idea that because Lupin is a werewolf himself, he is teaching about creatures, and maybe it’s almost foreshadowing for the reader.

Eric: Yeah, I’m trying to pick… you know how when we did Home Economics – or Family and Consumer Science, it was called – that they waited until we were old enough to cook because we had to handle machinery or because we had to handle things like that. So maybe there is something to handling magical creatures, which is another class they have this year. They’re 13, so they’re judged as being capable of handling it. I think there might be something to that as far as like, it’s the theme of the year. But yeah, I like your idea, Andrew, that maybe because there’s all this focus on beasts in the way of Buckbeak, they’re offsetting it by showing a lot of creatures in the magical world so that it doesn’t seem like she’s always writing about Buckbeak because you’re learning about all these other creatures that exist, and boggarts and Dementors and all this other stuff.

Andrew: Hashtag world building.

Micah: Yeah. I’m trying to think back to the other books and what they actually learned prior to this in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I don’t know that we get a whole lot of time with Quirrell. I think the first DADA class we actually spend time in is with Lockhart, and we know how much of a disaster he is as a professor, although creatures coming into play there, too, right? Cornish pixies. He does teach them how to duel, which is a natural defense against the Dark arts practice. But the other thing with Lupin, though, is that we are seeing more Defense Against the Dark Arts; he’s just teaching Harry. He’s not teaching the rest of the class, and I think he’s setting Harry up for Order of the Phoenix to really be the strategic Defense Against the Dark Arts professor when he starts to teach the rest of Dumbledore’s Army. All right, our next email comes from Jenna, who talks about father figures. She says,

“Hey MuggleCast, listening to Episode 624, and I had a few things to note. You talk about father figures in this episode, and in others. Most father figures to Harry are majorly flawed in some way and I guess Hagrid is the only ‘flawless’ father figure that Harry has. Anyway, my point is, I think the reason for this is because J.K. Rowling herself has a tough relationship with her own father.”

As was noted in a prior email.

“I’m positive I saw an interview with her where they revisit her past and her childhood, and she mentions her relationship with her own father. Perhaps this influences the father figures in Harry’s life. Thanks for being awesome and the best possible way to end what is usually a stressful day at work for me.”

Andrew: Aww. We got you.

Eric: We got you. Yeah, doesn’t make sense. You write what you know. And unfortunately, whether you want to or not, inevitably, the relationship spectrum that you have in your life can appear in your writing, I think, if you really showcase all types of people. And it does happen that a lot of these characters do happen to be fathers, but there is enough of a variety in there. You can picture other characters being good dads, but the ones Harry has, there’s always something else going on with them.

Micah: I don’t know that I would call Hagrid flawless. He has his blind spots.

Andrew: No, but he’s as close to flawless. Nobody’s perfect. Oh my god. I say it every episode, that…

Laura: Yeah, but what about Arthur?

Micah: I thought about him too.

Andrew: Perfect?

Laura: Yeah, Arthur is a father figure to Harry. But I think the interesting thing about it is Harry does have a number of father figures, and the ones that he seems to place the most emphasis on are maybe the ones who weren’t the best father figures to him. But then when you think about people like Hagrid, people like Arthur, who were great father figures, and he could have drawn inspiration for his future children’s names from those people, but he didn’t. He instead chose “Albus Severus.” [laughs] So it’s just very interesting to see that happening, and I think we could also do a deeper reading into the text to think about what that says about Harry and the trauma that he carries around. The lack of a central positive father figure in his life.

Micah: And I think, too, so many of these characters provide different things that Harry needs. They’re not all the same type of father figures, so it’s almost like it’s a collective that is raising him.

Andrew: And that’s life, right?

Laura: It takes a village.

Andrew: You connect with different people. It takes a village, but you connect with different people and get different things out of them. Everybody’s got different skill sets to help you move along through life, whether you’re an orphan or not.

Laura: Yeah, it is really interesting to zoom out and take that 30,000 foot view of how concepts of fatherhood and motherhood are built and portrayed in these books. Again, that could be a whole episode, if we wanted it to be.

Eric: The next email comes from Jackie about Bill the werewolf and the Marauder’s Map.

“Hi, it’s Jackie, and I want to correct you guys on something.”

Very strong beginning to that email.

“Bill isn’t a werewolf. He was scratched by Greyback when Greyback was in human form. And I’ve read a theory concerning why no one saw Peter on the map. That Marauders did a charm that hides the fact that they are Animagi. In the book, when Remus looks at the map he sees Peter and Sirius, but when Snape looks at it, he only sees the trio, Remus, and Sirius, but not Peter (who was still in rat form). This was created as a safety precaution in case the map wound up with a teacher.”

Laura: That’s interesting. So only they would be able to see themselves in Animagus form on the map.

Andrew: Yeah, that seems like a good security measure.

Micah: I like that.

Laura: I wonder how that works.

Eric: Also the importance of closing the map when you’re done using it.

Laura: Yep!

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: Just a little thing, but I think I was the one who had said that Bill was a werewolf, so I appreciate Jackie calling that out.

Laura: It is a good call-out. I think I recall, though, wasn’t there some kind of reference made by Lupin that Bill prefers his steaks on the raw side now or something?

Eric: Yeah, Lupin counsels Bill as a result of what happened. I mean, a scratch is putting it lightly; his face is really cut up.

Micah: I’m trying to remember if that’s actually a line in the books, though. It’s a movie-ism. It’s Deathly Hallows – Part 1 in the Seven Potters scene when Bill is introduced to us.

Laura: Yeah, I think it is from the books, but if I recall correctly, I think it was actually something from Half-Blood Prince said in the hospital wing, and I think they just ported the line over to Deathly Hallows – Part 1.

Micah: Right, because isn’t there a back and forth with Molly and Fleur about how she really still loves him even if he is in this condition?

Eric and Laura: Right.

Eric: And that makes Molly…

Micah: Maybe he’s just not full-blown werewolf.

Eric: It’s in Chapter 29, “The Phoenix Lament,” and it just says his wounds are cursed, so they have some element of lycanthropy, but yeah, he’s not a werewolf.

Laura: Yeah, not full blown, at any rate.

Eric: I did check and Teddy Lupin is also does not have his father’s curse.

Andrew: All right, next email comes from Rachel.

“Hey guys, I was reading Chapter 19 of Prisoner and noticed something odd. After the trio knocks Snape out, Lupin wants to offer up proof about Pettigrew. He refers to Ron as ‘you, boy…’ I wondered why he would refer to Ron this way, because he was always such a casual and personable professor and often called his students by their first name. Do y’all think the author meant to have Sirius give that line/was it an editing mistake? Or is this just an out of character moment for Lupin? Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks.”

Eric: For me, it reads like a Dickensian way, like when Scrooge wakes up and he’s so excited and he runs out the window and he’s like, “You, boy! Do they still have that prize turkey in the window?” Yeah, he’s thinking too quickly, he’s extremely excited, and Ron, even though he… you’re right, he always gives that first person touch relationship with the students. Maybe Ron really is that boy that he addressed the least or is least familiar with. I think just quickly, “You, boy,” that works.

Laura: All right. Our next one comes from Jenny, and it’s about Veritaserum and Secret Keepers. Jenny says,

“Hi, y’all! After listening to the podcast about Chapter 19, I got to thinking about being a Secret Keeper. Do you think the magic of being a Secret Keeper is stronger than the magic of the Veritaserum potion? Otherwise, what would stop someone from giving a Secret Keeper the potion to learn the secret?”

Eric: Oh, I love these branches of magic, and it’s like we pit them against each other and are like, “Okay, so which one will win out?” It’s like the Dueling Club all over again.

Andrew: So sometimes I just get Googling when people ask us great questions because obviously, Harry Potter is massive and everybody’s got a theory on every question on the Internet. We obviously love trying to answer these ourselves, but like I said, I went Googling and I liked this answer I saw on StackExchange.com, which is like a Quora website. This one person said, and this is – it looks like – Au101, in 2016. They said,

“The first thing I’d say is that Veritaserum is only one tool. It may be magic, but it is not invincible. It is not infallible. Rowling has gone on record saying, ‘Veritaserum works best on the unsuspecting, vulnerable, and those insufficiently skilled in one way or another to protect themselves against it.’ As such, in no sense can Veritaserum be relied upon to always force the truth out of someone. That, I think, is worth bearing in mind. Secondly, the magic of the Fidelius Charm to me is rather beautiful. It’s about fidelity, loyalty, trust, and friendship. To me, the element of choice there is all-important. The spell is broken if your Secret Keeper betrays you. It’s about betrayal, infidelity, treachery.”

Andrew: So that’s the short answer, and I like that.

Laura: Interesting.

Eric: Yeah, I like that too. Also, Lauren in the discord says, “I thought the Secret Keeper has to willingly give the answer. It can’t be forced out of them.” That speaks to like betrayal, loyalty, the fact that you’re being fidelious…

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Right.

Eric: Yeah, that’s really interesting.

Micah: Cool. Our next email comes from Jonathan talking about the godfather’s magical bond. I feel like Eric will really like this email.

Eric: I’m waiting.

Micah: He says,

“Hi y’all, I’m from Mississippi, after all. I just finished listening to Episodes 624…”

624 was a big one we got feedback on. “Where’s the Moonscreen?”

Andrew: With a title like that, it got everybody tuning in.

Eric: I’ve got to say, I’m happy about several titles coming from my brain lately, you guys.

Micah: Well, and Mississippi – maybe they interpreted that as “Where’s the moonshine?”

[Eric and Laura laugh]

[Micah continues reading]

“When Laura first talked about Sirius being Harry’s godfather, it got me thinking. There are a few times in the series that it talks about a magical way to bind two people. The Unbreakable Vow (Snape and Narcissa), blood pact/oath (Dumbledore and Grindelwald), and the less life-threatening bond between Bill and Fleur when they got married. Do you think that when James and Lily asked Sirius to be Harry’s godfather, that there was some kind of bond that formed ‘binding’ him to Harry? I believe that there was, even if no one realized it at the time. It may not be as strong as when Lily gave her life to save Harry, which took a little time for Dumbledore to figure out, but I believe something happened. Keep up the good work on the podcast. I’ve been a Potter fan for about 12 years, and got into it because of my kids that are now adults. Keep up the good work and let me know what you think of my headcanon, Jonathan, Ravenclaw, Hogwarts class of ’93. P.S. I asked Dumbledore, ‘Why Lockhart?’ And he just smiled and said, ‘You’ll laugh with me. I’m sure of it.'”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: I guess it’s a reference to him hiring Lockhart?

Andrew: I think so, yeah.

Laura: I think so.

Andrew: Hogwarts class of ’93. That’s a fun little part of your signature, your sign off.

Laura: I do love that.

Eric: I do fully agree with this, that there’s probably some kind of magical bond, because famously, godparents are the ones who vow – it is a vow – to look after the child in the event of their parents’ demise. There are reasons why Sirius obviously can’t fulfill his vow. But if you’re Catholic, for instance, you have to be baptized, which is a sacrament, one of the few in the church, and you’re present at the baptism of the child as well, so you’re witnessing the next generation and you’re a prominent part of that baptism ceremony. I know there’s not a religious-leaning aspect to the wizarding world, but there’s still that same, “This is important, this will be a magical commitment,” or a supernatural, let’s say, commitment with impact and ramifications to the world beyond. 100%, I think it’s probably some level of a magical bond there.

Laura: I agree. And I think, too, that religion, particularly Christianity, does come through in these books quite a bit, which makes a lot of sense; the author is Christian. And a lot of those overarching themes of the savior character who dies but then comes back, really do come through in these books. And actually, that’s one of the most interesting readings that I think you can do about Harry Potter, is picking out where biblical references really do come through in the books. Thinking about it from a very academic perspective, of course; not to say that you should use Harry Potter to preach to anybody. But I think that it is a really true representation of the fact that religion and myth play such a huge role in the stories that we tell, even if we don’t necessarily know that that’s what we’re doing. So it’s an amazing call-out, and I would just say, to add to your point about the bond of godparents, Eric, even outside of a religious context, there’s legalese sometimes tied up in somebody being a godparent. I didn’t grow up religious, but I do have godparents, right? And that was something that was written into my parents’ will, that if something happened to them, that this is where me and my brother were going to go. So the idea of there being an unbreakable bond, I think, is very real.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: For me, when you just think about the whole mother’s love angle that is so important in this series, I can buy this as well.

Laura: Same.

Micah: Yeah, just to build off of what was said, I think there is such an importance in being somebody’s godfather or godmother because you’re being entrusted with the responsibility to raise that child. The parents are looking at you and saying, “If anything happens to us, you are the next best option to take care of my child.”

Eric: Did Lily not have any friends?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: They had to go with James’s.

Micah: But it shows how much they cared about Sirius, and trusted him, more importantly, with Harry, and so I would believe that on some level that constitutes a magical contract between Harry and Sirius.

Eric: This next one comes from Corn! Question is did Cursed Child steal their prophecy?

“In Cursed Child, which has a debatable level of canoninity, there is, of course, a prophecy.”

Here it is, oh joy.

“‘When spares are spared, when time is turned, when unseen children murder their fathers, then will the Dark Lord return.’ I think this is perfectly applicable to not Albus and Scorpius’s adventures, but the events of Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire. Harry spares Pettigrew, they then turn time to spare additionally Sirius and Buckbeak; the unseen (literally for an Invisibility Cloak, figuratively for his disownment and shields from public view) Barty Crouch, Jr. kills his father Barty, Sr.; and at the end of Goblet of Fire, the Dark Lord returns. Just a thought.”

Oh, yeah, so the prophecy really can be relevant to the plot of Books 3 and 4, even though the prophecy is occurring later when Cursed Child is going on. So the idea that the prophecy would even be relevant to events that have already passed means or indicates that we’re going to experience those events again and then that will make the Dark Lord return-return-return again?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Return-return-return, is that what you just said?

Eric: He already did, yeah.

Micah: We do see so much of Goblet of Fire in Cursed Child because of when Albus and Scorpius travel back in time too, but the way I took the email was almost as if the writers of Cursed Child were borrowing their own narrative in a way, or in this case, the prophecy from the events of Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire, so they they weren’t doing a whole lot of their own thinking, so to speak.

Eric: Well, that’s true.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That’s kind of what I was going to say. We don’t know who exactly wrote this prophecy; if you remember, it was Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne who wrote this screenplay. I took this email and the revelation as, they’re making a callback to the books. It wasn’t a coincidence. It was probably purposeful that they’re referring to the core series. All right, this next email comes from Lauren about Hermione’s hatred of Divination.

“Hi all, I’m a new listener catching up to follow along with your chapter by chapter analysis, so I’m a little behind on the discussion of POA. But I’ve had Hermione’s skepticism toward Divination on my mind, and I think I found the origin of her close-mindedness on the subject. I recently reread Sorcerer’s Stone and noticed this passage at the end of Chapter 15, after Harry tells Ron and Hermione about his run in with Quirrellmort and the centaurs.

‘Hermione looked very frightened, but she had a word of comfort. “Harry, everyone says Dumbledore’s the only one You-Know-Who was ever afraid of. With Dumbledore around, You-Know-Who won’t touch you. Anyway, who says the centaurs are right? It sounds like fortune-telling to me, and Professor McGonagall says that’s a very imprecise branch of magic.”‘

Turns out Hermione had already been influenced to mistrust Divination by her first year. And based on the context of the situation, this could be where she develops a seed of bias against centaurs after they basically told her best friend he was doomed to die. While she could just be trying to comfort Harry in that moment by dismissing what the centaurs told him, we see her opinion remain on both Divination and centaurs for years after (although Trelawney didn’t help her case.) Thanks for all the great work you do on my new favorite pod! P.S. I’m a Ravenclaw whose favorite book and movie are both POA.”

Eric: Aww.

Andrew: Welcome to the show, Lauren. Excited to have you. And excellent theory.

Eric: Good catch. Yeah, it’s a great catch. I also love the idea that the professional relationship between McGonagall and Trelawney is so poor that even to her first year class, McGonagall is just like, “Fortune-telling sucks!”

[Micah laughs]

Eric: And certain kids who care about…

Micah: Impressionable.

Eric: Yeah, impressionable kids. Hermione picked up on the fact that McGonagall, at some point during their first year, was talking about fortune-telling being imprecise, and internalized it as, “Oh, maybe that’s not even worthy of study” that early on. So it’s because McGonagall hates Divination that Hermione even in Book 1 is skeptical of it.

Micah: Definitely. There’s something I would argue, that for Hermione, it’s aspirational when she sees McGonagall, and there’s something that she really sees in her and I think that we see that develop over the course of the series. But yeah, the whole idea that this is… it’s not on a subconscious level, but perhaps she hears McGonagall say this, she stores it, and then when third year rolls around, she’s already going into the Divination class with a preconceived notion of what it’s supposed to be like. It informs her behavior towards Trelawney. I mean, let’s not forget, Hermione is not the best to Trelawney throughout… I think it’s probably one of the only relationships we see with a teacher where she’s willing to really, really push back until maybe we get to Umbridge.

Eric: Right.

Laura: Yeah. I think this also just highlights how Hermione does not navigate ambiguity very well, especially when it comes to her academics. She’s very prescriptive. It’s binary. It’s yes or no, this or that. And that’s not Divination; Divination is a very qualitative type of science where there is a lot of nuance. There’s a lot of interpretation that things are left up to and she just doesn’t navigate those kinds of spaces very well, because there aren’t necessarily clear answers. All right, our next email comes from Angela, who’s asking about Professor Binn’s grading practices. Angela says,

“I have just had this random shower thought and I can’t believe it’s never been mentioned before. How did Professor Binns grade his papers?”

[Eric laughs]

“He can’t move the parchment or lift a quill. Did you have a classroom aide? Or was it another professor? As I recall, he doesn’t know he’s dead. Would Dumbledore have convinced him to allow someone else to do his grading for him? Like, ‘Hey, Binnsy. You are so important to us that we would like to give you a break from from this most tedious portion of your job.’ I mean, why would Dumbledore tell him he’s dead when he now has a position he never has to pay?”

Andrew: [laughs] These must be those other emails Micah was teasing.

Laura: That’s funny.

Micah: Yes, we’ve moved off of Prisoner of Azkaban. Now we are in unchartered waters.

Andrew: Got it. Interesting.

Laura: So here’s the thing: Hogwarts? Accessibility nightmare.

Eric: Yeah, shout-out to shower thoughts. Really. Honestly, this is great. I love the idea that you’d be like, “Wait, what?”

Micah: Yeah, “What do you think about in the shower?” “Professor Binns.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Right between the shampoo and the conditioner phase? I’m thinking of ghosts. Yeah, no. So the thing about Professor Binns, maybe there’s ghosts, parchment and ghost paper, that he can write the grades that transferred over with him, his whole library. It’s an option. For me, we see him not even know what the students’ names are. Or it’s not that… okay, he gets their names wrong, but I have full confidence that the names he calls them were the names of previous students that might have been around when he was alive, and so it’s possible that these children legitimately aren’t getting graded at all in History of Magic. Maybe Binns is doing some kind of a routine where he’s grading the same old students and then somewhere it’s getting converted to… maybe nothing they do in that class really matters, just like everybody thinks it doesn’t.

Micah: Yeah, I think that’s right. And I love the fact that he and his classroom are both in Hogwarts Legacy, and that you can explore that.

Laura: I was just thinking about that.

Eric: You have to push X to not fall asleep.

Laura: Okay, so I’ve got to call out, my character definitely fell asleep because the droning of his voice made me totally zone out and I wasn’t remembering to press X, so I fell asleep during History of Magic.

Eric: It’s perfect. It’s the perfect little mini game.

Andrew: Laura, you fell sleep IRL?

Laura: No, no, no, my character did.

Andrew: Oh, just your character. [laughs] It almost sounded like you were saying you fell asleep so you forgot to hit X.

Laura: No, I just zoned out.

Eric: Eleanor survived History of Magic. I almost want a T-shirt in Hogwarts Legacy where it says “I survived.”

Micah: All right, our next email comes from Abby about the narration of Harry Potter, and she says,

“Hey, MuggleCast, I’m a 12 year old Raven-puff (a cross between a Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw in case y’all didn’t know) and I love you guys. I’ve been trying to catch up with your chapter by chapter for a while now. I finally did, so I was scrolling through your episodes looking for something to listen to. I clicked on Episode 338 and had an idea about a question that was asked. You were wondering if Harry Potter was being narrated, and if so, who the narrator could be. I think it’s possible the narrator could be Ginny telling your kids a bedtime story. What are your thoughts on this? I would love to hear what y’all think.”

This is quite the bedtime story.

Eric: “How I met your father.”

Andrew: [laughs] Who would narrate? Dumbledore. Yeah, I want Dumbledore as my narrator.

Eric: I can see Dumbledore doing it; he’s kind of the manipulator of all time and space anyway. For me, I will say when I was young, I really, really, really internalized the Jim Dale narration voice on the DVD menus, if you remember, because it would be like, “Welcome to Hogwarts.” You’d load up the DVD and there would just be this voice talking at you, and I always internalized that as being the voice of the world itself guiding you through. So if there were a narrator, it would be in his voice for me. And it wouldn’t necessarily be a person that you could go up to in touch and meet, but truly a disembodied, omniscient narrator guy, just a narrator guy, the way Jim Dale narrates Pushing Daisies.

Andrew: Bring us home, Eric.

Eric: Okay, this is from Dalia. Beautiful name. Beautiful flower too.

“My name is Dalia, I’m 13, and I’m a Hufflepuff. I’m writing to you because recently my family went to the Berkshires of Western Mass. J.K. Rowling’s Potter-no-more article about Ilvermorny says that it’s located on the top of Mount Greylock, the highest point in Massachusetts, which is located in the Berkshires. I convinced my family to drive up to the top of the mountain.”

Laura: Awesome.

Eric: This is so cool, Dalia.

“On the top there is a war memorial, lodge, hiking trails, and more. The thing that stood out to me, though, was at the bottom. In the article about Ilvermorny, it says that the school started out as a stone cottage. When we were driving up to the top, at the base of the mountain was a small stone cottage that had a sign on it that said schoolhouse from 18-something.”

Andrew: Whoa.

“My theory is that even though Ilvermorny is supposed to be at the top of the mountain and founded in the 1600s, the cottage I saw is the original Ilvermorny. They could have moved the small cottage down the mountain to make room for a bigger school using magic, and as for the date, Muggles get lots of things wrong.”

Andrew: That is so cool. That is so observant, and I love that you’re merging book canon with the real world. [laughs] You made something physical in the real world canon in your head.

Eric: Yeah, that’s the beauty of this level of storytelling, where it’s like the wizarding world lives alongside our world, because then when you go out in nature – and the woods can be kind of spooky, but they’re definitely magical – and you can it’s easy to imagine that cottages and nothing is what it seems.

Micah: I really like this email and the fact that she was able to get her family to go to the top of the mountain.

Eric: You have to drive to the top of the mountain, I read it on Potter-no-more.

Micah: And in fairness, we know that J.K. Rowling does a lot of research before creating these parts of the magical world. Now, in some cases, we also know that she should have done a little bit more research, but for this, let’s just say I think there’s something to take away from Dalia’s email. It’s very cool. If you have a picture of it, send it in. We’d love to see it.

Andrew: Yeah, we’d love to see that. I bet she does.

Laura: Well, and the placement of Ilvermorny being in New England is just so apropos historically, just because we know about the Salem witch trials and things like that. So there has always been a strong emphasis, I think, in Harry Potter on drawing inspirations from real life events, or even the inclusion of real characters of mythological origin, right? Think about Merlin, for example, who was a student at Hogwarts, but obviously isn’t just a Harry Potter character. So I love this connection. Great catch, Dalia.

Andrew: Now we’ll move to a couple of chicken soup emails to wrap up this Muggle Mail episode. This is from Shannon.

“Hi MuggleCasters, or should I say hey, y’all?”

That really stuck, Laura. Listeners love it.

Laura: I know, it’s so good. Anyway, go ahead. [laughs]

“Longtime listener here since 2007ish. I was listening to the 18th birthday episode and loved how Laura mentioned that MuggleCast gives a sense of routine and safety through life’s struggles. I had my first child back in March, and he unexpectedly spent his first week of life in the NICU. Several months later, the emotions of it all really started to get to me. I was back at work, not getting to see my little boy but a few hours a day, and was really struggling to stay strong for him when I did see him. As a new mom with a difficult birth experience, I didn’t really know how to find myself again after what I had been through. I was not and am not the same person I was before my son was born. But when things got really tough, I was able to start listening to MuggleCast at work again. There you were, just as you had always been: that little piece of my old self to fall back on and remind me of who I am.”

Andrew: This is so sweet; I’m going to cry.

“While I’ve been through a trying experience and have changed a lot, I am still a Harry Potter fan. That remains the same. MuggleCast has helped to remind me of who I am in trying times, and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for that. Shannon.”

Shannon, that is so beautifully written and heartfelt and meaningful to us. Thank you.

Laura: All right. And our next email comes from Tuesday, who says,

“Hey y’all (this sounds terrible in my Scottish accent so it’s strictly written use only).”

I would love to hear what it sounds like for a Scottish person to say, “Hey, y’all.”

Andrew: Call in.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: There’s this one video where it’s trying to get Scottish guys to say just the weirdest words and they can’t say it. Like, “ouroboros,” and they just can’t do it.

Laura: Well, Tuesday says,

“I’m late to the party, but I still wanted to message you guys to tell you one of my favorite MuggleCast moments and to say thank you. Towards the end of last year into the beginning of this year I found myself homeless. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was staying in various temporary accommodations, it was negative eight degrees in Scotland, there was no heating, and I couldn’t get a hot shower. I was miserable and spent many a night in tears. I also had no Internet access, which in itself doesn’t bother me too much, but it meant I struggled to get podcasts and audiobooks – I’m registered blind and those are my go-to media form. Around the new year, I got to stay with a family I know through scouting. One of the first things I did was catch up on podcasts. I was sitting in the warm, in newly washed clothes, having had a lovely hot shower, and listening to you guys. I remember not what any of the episodes were, but I do remember the feeling of being surrounded by friends, of laughing for the first time in ages, and feeling content. Fast forward a few months and I’m sitting in a flat of my own. Scotland has turned the temperature up to 25 degrees Celsius, and I’m listening to you guys with that same contented smile on my face. Thank you for being there when I needed it most. Here’s to many more years of magic.”

Andrew: Here’s to many more years of magic. Amen to that.

Laura: And I’m so glad that you’re doing okay. It sounds like things have gotten a lot better, and I’m so glad to hear it.

Andrew: Well, listeners, you have once again inspired us, moved us, and reminded us why we do it, after all this time. We know the show makes a big impact on y’all and obviously makes a big impact on us too. We really love doing it. We really enjoy being your Harry Potter friends. Next week, we will have our Goblet of Fire movie commentary track. We recorded it last night so we’ve been on our mics for quite a bit over the last 18 hours or so.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: This is hour five, yeah.

Andrew: It was a lot of fun. We hope you all enjoy it too. You will need to bring your own copy of Goblet of Fire, by the way, just be aware of that. We do help you sync up with us as we’re watching. We all brought our own shot of alcohol to shoot when Dumbledore screams, “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?” because it’s such an iconic moment in the Harry Potter fandom. [laughs] We had to celebrate that decision.

Eric: I will say, yes, legal age adults only. Do not try that at home if you’re underage, as many of you, now we are learning more with every episode, are.

Andrew: 100%. Unfortunately for us on the panel here, we are way past 18. And if they’re – sorry, 21. And because of that, we are allowed to have some alcohol from time to time. But if you’re under 21, bring a little soda or glass of water.

Eric: Oh yeah, something special that you like.


Quizzitch


Andrew: It’s time for Quizzitch.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question: Who gives Pigwidgeon his name? The correct answer is Ginny Weasley. I never ever pass up an opportunity to have Ginny be the correct Quizzitch answer. And oh boy, do we have some great names that people submitted under, and got the correct question. They include Harry Potter picked a peck of pickled peppers; an unregistered fluffy Snitch disguised as an owl; guys I had homecoming last week and then had to march in a parade the next day Lucy the 15-year-old; pickles for Pigwidgeon; Luke the 12-year-old hey y’all it’s Luke in math class oh crap he sees me bye; HBO’s reboot better not do Ginny dirty; Bort the 32-year-old; Rocket the aptly named golden retriever; Niffle puff; Yer a qwizzard Harry; Accio 12 Bagels; what happened to Quizzitch Live give me Quizzitch Live; flu chowder cooking TM; orb-worthy prophecy; Matthew the 11-year-old; tell Kevin to play Tears of the Kingdom if he likes Skyrim; Jenny Penny loves Sirius Black; Yo Rufus on Fiya is back; loony loopy lovely Lupin; Voldy moldy and the goldie trollies; Luke the 12-year-old; Ivy soon to be 10-year-old; I am the biggest fan of Piggly Wiggly; Winky’s bubbly little problem; and the one that Micah submitted under. Are you ready for it? If you needed any more proof Ginny is terrible at naming things, see her children.

[Everyong laughs]

Andrew: There will be news on Quizzitch Live, for that Quizzitch person who submitted. There will be a Quizzitch Live sooner rather than later, I would say.

Eric: Within a month!

Micah: We’re working on it.

Eric: Announcement to come later on that. Here is next week’s Quizzitch question.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Who found the Riddle family dead? As in, who discovered their bodies? Submit your answer to us on the Quizzitch form located on the MuggleCast website, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or go to MuggleCast.com and click on Quizzitch from the main nav.

Andrew: If you’re an Apple Podcast user, for just $2.99 a month you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right in the Apple Podcast app. We have lots more benefits on Patreon, though, so be sure to hit up Patreon.com/MuggleCast. You’ll also get access to bonus MuggleCast on Patreon. Like Micah said at the top of today’s episode, we’ll be recording a new one about the things from the Goblet of Fire book that didn’t make it to the movie and hopefully, will make it to the TV show. We have a great list together that we will talk through. If you’re a Spotify user, you can pledge to Patreon pretty easily. Just tap into the show on Spotify, and you’ll see a Patreon banner there, and then you can get the audio benefits that we post on Patreon right within the Spotify app, actually. This is a newer feature. It’s really great. So tap into the show, Spotify users, and check it out. If you enjoy the show and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about the show. We love when people spread the good word about the pod. And we would also appreciate if you left us a review on your favorite podcast app. And last but not least, don’t forget that we are on social media, posting all kinds of stuff throughout the week. We’re @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads. Thanks, everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: Bye, everyone.

Transcript #627

 

MuggleCast 627 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #627, A Normal Friday Night at Hogwarts (POA Chapter 22, Owl Post Again)


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And this week, be sure to check with the cat that your new pet is really what they seem, because we are going to read and analyze the final chapter of Prisoner of Azkaban, “Owl Post Again.” And to help us with today’s discussion, we’re joined by one of our Slug Club supporters and listeners, Melissa. Welcome to the show, Melissa!

Melissa: Hi. Thanks for having me, guys.

Andrew: Yeah, and when we reached out, I think you told me Prisoner of Azkaban is your favorite book. Is that right?

Melissa: It is. It really is.

Laura: Oh, how fitting.

Andrew: So we got you in right under the wire, yes!

Melissa: Literally perfect.

Andrew: We planned it this way. [laughs] So before we get any further, let’s get your fandom ID, Melissa.

Melissa: Okay, so my favorite book… also, I will say that every single time I read “favorite,” it’s messing with my head because it’s the American spelling and not the Canadian spelling.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Ah, that’s right. Canadians are very persnickety.

Melissa: We like our extra letters a lot.

Eric: All right, well, I’m going to update the document right now.

Melissa: [laughs] So favorite book is Prisoner of Azkaban, favorite film is… this is always really hard for me because Prisoner of Azkaban, but also Half-Blood Prince for very different reasons. Hogwarts House is Ravenclaw. Ilvermorny is Thunderbird? Favorite Marauder is Remus, and favorite owl is Hedwig and a snowy owl, because they’re gorgeous.

Eric: Tell me, is Prisoner of Azkaban spelled any differently? Are there extra O’s or U’s or anything in the title?

Melissa: [laughs] You can add them wherever your heart desires, and I will appreciate it. How about that?

Andrew: I will say, I do enjoy getting close to the Canadian border from the American side because when you go to used bookstores, let’s say in Seattle, you start seeing those UK covers because they hop over the border. Canadians get UK covers.

Eric: Life hack.

Andrew: Yeah, I think I sent y’all a picture when I was up in Portland earlier this year. I saw some UK covers. I was like, “Ooh, this is exciting, a whole different world.”

Eric: That’s cool.

Andrew: Anyway, great to have you, Melissa, and thank you so much for your support on Patreon. We really appreciate it.

Melissa: My pleasure.

Andrew: Speaking of Patreon, there have been a couple of Fantastic Beasts movie and HP reboot news stories recently. David Yates, the director of many wizarding world movies at this point, suggested he’s done with doing those movies, and David Heyman, the longtime producer of all the wizarding world projects, says the HP reboot will go deeper into the series than the movies did, which is exactly what we were hoping for. We’re going to talk about these stories on a deeper level level on our Patreon this week. Patreon.com/MuggleCast is where you can get bonus MuggleCast installments twice a month. And Laura, you have some big news for us.

Laura: Yeah, I do. I wanted to plug something that we’ve been working on for the last few weeks here, and it is the MuggleCast 2023 listener survey, going live as of the recording of this episode. So the survey will be open to all listeners through October 6, so we will be plugging it over the next couple of weeks. We want to know what you love about the show, what you think could improve it, and what other content you’d be interested in us making. We’re also asking anyone who supports us on our Patreon about their experience so we can learn what kinds of bonus content y’all would be interested in seeing in the future. The survey is open to all, whether you are a Patreon supporter or not, and will be available through our website, in our show notes, and across our various social channels. Thanks so much in advance for taking the time to help us improve the show, whether you’ve been with us for 18 years, are new to the show, or anywhere in between. We truly could not do this show without y’all.

Eric: Laura, I’m filling this out right now; it asked me how I have heard about the show. There’s not an option for “Is a host,” so how do I…?

Laura: [laughs] “Am host.”

Eric: I’ll put “Other” and in the write-in, “Am host.” Okay.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: You heard about the show through the MuggleNet.com staff forum in 2005.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: OG, baby, I bet nobody else filling this out will be able to say that.

Micah: Just do what I do on the Quizzitch form and just make up a really creative username.

Laura: Oh, that’s so brilliant.

Micah: I’m not saying I do that.

Andrew: Except then that’s bad data. We want listeners. We don’t want the hosts.

Eric: Yeah, we don’t want to pollute… this negatively affects us if I mess this up. [laughs]

Laura: Well, I will say that I will be screening the responses, and if there are any clearly bogus host responses to this, I will be removing those results.

Andrew: Thank you.

Laura: Sorry about that.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Laura is policing this. She’s taking this really seriously, y’all.

Laura: I am.

Eric: But really, thank you for filling it out. We really want to hear from you. And this will affect the future of the show.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, we have ideas, so we really appreciate getting your feedback on some ideas we’re kicking around.

Eric: So another update, actually, this coming week, you’ll be able to hear me talking about the history of the Harry Potter fandom for two and a half hours. Or actually, part one of this long retrospect. I was a guest host on the Belated Binge podcast, which is the binge podcast that does not take the series or itself too seriously. It was a lot of fun. The podcast, again, called Belated Binge, is going to be available wherever podcasts are found, but especially on YouTube. There’s actually going to be a video version of it. And I just sat down… Zac is a longtime listener of MuggleCast; he actually reached out. I went back and found a very old email that he sent back in the before times, and read it back to him on the show. But mostly, it was a question about the origins of the fandom and how the different eras of Potter, based on what was happening, affected both MuggleCast and just being a Harry Potter fan. So it was actually a really engaging discussion. It was fun to go through and test my own knowledge as far as what happened, but it’s worth checking out. Part one will be this coming week, and part two will be the following week. We’ll put the link in the show notes. Definitely check out Belated Binge podcast.

Andrew: And last but not least, a reminder: Year two of the MuggleCast Collector’s Club is open now. This is the last chance for everyone to get the stickers whether or not you are currently a patron, so make sure you fill out that form that’s available on our Patreon. We introduced the Collector’s Club last year, in which each year between now and 2026 we’re sending four to five exclusive new stickers that celebrate the show’s past and present. And we’re also giving you the Collector’s Club card on which you can place the stickers; it’s a beautiful backing card. We absolutely love it. Year two stickers celebrate the old Chicken Soup segment; we did one with the classic iPod with MuggleCast playing; we’ve got Hogwarts on fire, hashtag security nightmare; we’ve got Jamie’s old British Joke segment, a sticker dedicated to that; and then a tier-based exclusive, either a Dumbledore’s Army or Slug Club sticker. These are the only chance you can get these stickers. Available now and then never again, and then the next three years, wee’re going to have exclusive stickers as well.

Eric: Melissa, are you excited about the Slug Club sticker? The slugs clinking little glasses?

Melissa: I’m so excited, it’s actually unreal.

[Andrew, Eric, and Melissa laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, the designs are awesome. So pledge at the $5 or $10 level by September 22 and then fill out the form by September 23 to receive this year’s stickers! Thank you in advance, everybody.

Micah: And Andrew, I’ve been working very hard on my Spotify playlist. I know you all did House themes, and I was the odd person out. I didn’t want to do another Ravenclaw because Laura’s was so good. I did a Quidditch-themed playlist and it’s coming to a theater near you sometime soon.

Andrew: A theater?

Micah: Oh, sorry, an iPhone…

Eric: A home theater.

Micah: Whatever you listen to. Yeah, home theater.

Eric: I’ll play it through my surround sound when it comes out.

Micah: There you go. It just sounded better to say coming to a theater near you.

Eric: Coming soon to theaters.

Andrew: Sounds good. Well, without further ado, it’s time for Chapter by Chapter, and like I said, we’re discussing the final chapter in Prisoner of Azkaban, “Owl Post Again.” Once more for this book, it’s time for our Seven-Word Summary.


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Micah: Justice…

Eric: … is…

Melissa: … served…

Laura: … by…

Andrew: … Hermione…

Micah: … and…

Eric: Harry.

Laura: Beautiful. Well done, y’all.

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]


Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion


Eric: Well, welcome, everybody, to the final chapter of most of our favorite books. It’s really interesting coming off of the long high that was the time travel shenanigans and the whole back half of this book with all of its ups and downs. There’s a lot of summary and closing the book out and events that happen in this book. Harry goes back on the train, we see Uncle Vernon at the end of it. But I wanted to do more of an overview of this chapter because there are a few events that happen where there’s positive news and then there’s negative news, or there’s negative news but there’s a silver lining. I’ve broken up different moments, and we’re going to go through them and have a discussion about what some of these are. And I do think that in these moments, the consolations that we get are useful. Of course, we know Voldemort wasn’t going to be destroyed at the end of the third book out of seven. Harry doesn’t get to live with Sirius yet. That can’t be, as much as we would love that. So we’re going to go through and talk about this stuff. Number one thing is that Snape was really, really, really, really horrible. We’ve been talking about this the last couple of chapters, but now he ultimately did not get what he wanted and Sirius gets to keep his soul in his mouth or his body. [laughs] But Snape is just really, really, really angry about it. He also knows that it was Harry and Hermione who did this. He thinks he knows. Does he really know? That’s my first question.

Micah: Who knows? He just seems completely unhinged in this moment, and I think there’s a lot of emotion that is processing through Snape here. It’s a combination of what we’ve talked about in the previous chapters, that he believes Sirius responsible for the death of Lily Potter, but then there’s probably something deep down inside of him that just thinks that nothing goes right for Snape, right? And when nothing goes right for Snape, or something is up at Hogwarts, Harry usually has something to do with it.

Laura: Yeah, and he’s really projecting his insecurities about James onto Harry as well. We see throughout the series, when Snape says again and again how very much like his arrogant father Harry is, so it feels very much like he’s taking that high school insecurity and projecting it onto the literal embodiment of James Potter in this moment.

Eric: It’s funny because he doesn’t need evidence, really. And in fact, he gets none. We’re going to talk about Dumbledore in a minute and what Dumbledore says to Snape, but Snape doesn’t need concrete proof that it was Harry and Hermione because he is going to resolve to make their lives more miserable than ever. And in fact, that happens. It’s glossed over blissfully, thank God, but Snape manages to even be worse of a teacher to the two of them throughout the remaining part of this school year. In fact, Harry suspects he nearly failed him from the class, and that could affect his future!

Andrew: I also think that Snape definitely knows it was them because they helped save the day at the end of the other two books, so it just stands to reason that they’re going to help save the day again.

Eric: It’s interesting that phrase, “Save the day,” because if viewed from Snape’s perspective, it means that he knows he’s on the wrong side of it. If he’s like, “Oh, these two save the day.” I think that he really does feel outwitted by them, and the culture, the environment is very permissive of them to be better than him in this moment. I think he does have an inkling that he’s on the wrong side of the argument here. He still thinks that he should have his way. So enter Dumbledore, who I see in this chapter as really stoking the flames, particularly for Snape’s anger. He says, “Well, there you have it, Severus. Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I’m afraid I don’t see any point in troubling them further.” And it’s like, okay, hang on now, because Dumbledore literally is upping the ante and saying that if Snape can prove that Harry and Hermione, or has any idea how Harry and Hermione might be in two places at once, then there would be some kind of foundation to his argument. But because Snape apparently doesn’t know about the Time-Turner, he can’t do that. Still, this is very interesting baiting from Dumbledore, isn’t it? Because how secret is Hermione Time-Turner from the rest of the staff?

Andrew: It’s such strong baiting. It’s shockingly risky.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Unless there was a way… I mean, there’s no way right way, right? You wouldn’t know any way, but unless there’s a way, which, come on, there can’t be a way, right?” I was shocked.

Eric: I mean, at any point in the future, this could come up. A throwaway line from another teacher, whether Professor Vector or somebody that Hermione had to like rush and was late to their class… it could easily be spilled that Hermione had a Time-Turner in year three, and if it does, Dumbledore is going to have a severe Snape problem. But he couldn’t resist having the fun.

Laura: He really couldn’t. And it just stands to reason that the other professors, at least some of them, would have to know, right? To your point, Eric. And given how much work we knew went into getting Hermione this Time-Turner from the Ministry in the first place, it feels risky to be doing this in front of Fudge too.

Eric: Yeah, because presumably, somebody at the Ministry signed off on this 13-year-old being the only person ever to have a Time-Turner for classwork and getting this Time-Turner, and now Fudge is there, and Dumbledore is saying that “the reason that you’re wrong is because we can’t prove somebody was in two places at once.”

Andrew: It’s almost like Dumbledore is trying to have a fun inside joke moment with Fudge, like “Unless you’re suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once,” and he turns to Fudge and winks, “I don’t see how it could have happened!”

Eric: “I don’t know!” You also had a point about Fudge, Andrew.

Andrew: Yes, so when Snape storms out, you read this dialogue back, and it’s interesting once you get to Snape’s backstory later in the series. So the quote I’m referencing is,

“Fellow seems quite unbalanced,” said Fudge. “I’d watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.”

And then Dumbledore says,

“Oh, he’s not unbalanced. He’s just suffered a severe disappointment.”

And of course, he’s suffered a severe disappointment in this moment, but once you get through the series and read this back, it almost reads like Dumbledore is dropping another little Easter egg by hand here when it comes to losing Lily. Just a thought that crossed my mind, and maybe crossed Dumbledore’s mind in that moment too.

Laura: It is interesting, because it reads as funny in this moment, right? Like, “Oh, he’s just having a little temper tantrum. He’ll be okay.” But actually, it’s a lot deeper than that.

Eric: He’s minimizing.

Melissa: I think I look at it a little bit differently, but I feel like this is one of those times where Dumbledore puts Snape in his place. He’s basically like, “Trust me. You have to trust me, I’m telling you that I’m involved in this, so back off,” and it’s like Snape knows that he has to listen to Dumbledore, and I think that this is one of those moments that that shines through early on in the series, if that makes sense.

Laura: It does.

Eric: I think you’re right because Snape’s actions immediately following this undermine Dumbledore and make life difficult for Dumbledore as much as they do for Lupin or anybody else. Dumbledore doesn’t want to have to again look for a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so Snape’s retaliation against Lupin could also be seen as him bucking the system and causing havoc wherever he can, since Dumbledore did put him in his place. So that makes sense to me. Is there any other thoughts before we move on regarding the Time-Turner and Hermione’s acquisition of it? Also, she gives it back. Nobody tells her she has to give it back. She decides that she has had enough, and she says to Harry, “I’ve given it back to McGonagall.”

Andrew: “I can’t take this anymore, I’m tired, I’m stressed…”

Eric: [laughs] Would she have been allowed to keep it?

Andrew: That is a good question.

Micah: It’s another example, though, of Hogwarts being a security nightmare, right? Well, in fairness, there’s so much going on in this particular sequence of events that the Time-Turner is probably the last thing that is on their mind in terms of, “Oh yeah, we need to go and make sure that Hermione returns her Time-Turner to the Ministry at the end of the school year.” But in terms of anything else about this particular scene, I tended to think that even if Fudge were aware of the Time-Turner… which you’d think as the Minister for Magic, he would have to be, right? This is something that would rise to his level, a little memo on his desk, so to speak, at the beginning of the Hogwarts term. I just think it’s highly unlikely he would think it possible that Harry and Hermione could go back in time and do all of this, right? He’s very ignorant towards… well, we see it just a chapter prior, right? He’s he’s got a sweet spot for Harry right now.

Eric: Yeah, and it does help that Fudge himself was a witness to Buckbeak’s escape, right? He just saw him out the window, or he knows that it was a close call that… because potentially, what the kids did while traveling back in time could have had repercussions for Hagrid. I think it was maybe McNair that had said, “Oh, I just saw him out the window a moment ago.” They could have really started to suspect Hagrid let him go, and so the intricate level to which Fudge was directly involved means that he’ll put the rubber stamp on “There was nothing untoward; it’s unexplainable that the Buckbeak got away,” or “It’s unexplainable that these children… the matron says that they were in the hospital wing the whole time, they must have been in the hospital wing the whole time.” Really deliberately not thinking outside the box here because he’s more of a “You believe what you see kind of a thing” kind of guy.

Andrew: Real quickly, Micah’s point about a memo coming across Fudge’s desk, I’m just imagining him reading a memo that says, “Third year at Hogwarts gets Time-Turner.” Okay, great, next.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: I could see him just rolling his eyes and being like, “Dumbledore again.”

Andrew: [laughs] He sits there with his own little security nightmare button.

Laura: Is this another sign of Fudge’s incompetence? Either he was very blasé about this request, or he just didn’t know about it. It wasn’t surfaced to him.

Eric: It’s possible. This whole thing, it’s funny because as we’ve gone through this book, we’ve totally destroyed any credibility of Hermione getting this, but I love that she has it. It’s my favorite book for a reason, and a lot of that has to do with the time travel aspect. [laughs] So it doesn’t really make any sense, but it works so well for the plot, I just have to be like, “Okay, I don’t know.” I don’t think less of Fudge. I’m glad she got it. But it is funny that she is the person that hands it back. She says to Harry, “I’ve gone and given it back.” Unbelievable. So the next setback, or bad news – we talked about this a moment ago – Lupin is not going to be able to teach next year. This is because Snape storms off out of the hospital wing, and the very next morning at breakfast let slip that Lupin was a werewolf. And it’s a sad moment; Harry immediately has to go and talk with Lupin and really catch up and say his goodbyes. But as sort of a silver lining, Lupin says, “Because I’m no longer your teacher, I no longer need to confiscate this highly dangerous Marauder’s Map, so here you go, kid.” And that just feels right.

Andrew: It feels right. It’s a passing of the torch, so to speak.

Micah: Yeah, and I think not only is it a way for Lupin and Harry to maintain that connection, it’s a way for him to stay, in a way connected, to his father, right? Prongs is always with him, and I think that is a nice moment for Harry here with Lupin in his office.

Laura: And that’s a huge theme in this chapter, Prongs always being alive in Harry. We see examples of that come a little bit later. But it is one of the bittersweet, I think, parts of this chapter, like you were saying at the lead, Eric. There’s a lot of happiness and good news that we get, but there’s also this bitter twist to it because we ultimately know what it all means for Harry’s future, which is more of the same: having to go back to the Dursleys every summer, having infrequent contact with his newly found godfather… so it’s a little rough still.

Eric: Yeah, and now interestingly, although Lupin is banished because of this anticipated controversy that the parents of Hogwarts will be writing in in droves and saying, “My kids can’t be around a werewolf,” Dumbledore apparently managed to convince Fudge that Lupin was not helping Sirius Black to escape the night before. And I’ve really got to ask because we don’t… this is easy to miss, as I mentioned, but Dumbledore probably had to do some fancy footwork, given the extensive prejudice against werewolves in general that people have, coupled with the fact that Lupin last night really was extremely dangerous. Lupin himself says, “I could have eaten somebody.” It’s a real big deal. So how did Dumbledore finagle it so that Lupin is essentially allowed to leave also, without any suspicion of having had any hand in the previous night’s events?

Melissa: I think that at this point in the series, Fudge trusts Dumbledore, but he’s also completely incompetent. Fudge is always incompetent, always will be. But I really wonder if at this point, it would have been as simple as modifying a memory, putting it in the Pensieve, and showing it to Fudge to be like, “Look, he’s innocent, we trust him.” And then what really, this made me think about, was whether or not Dumbledore would be more adept at modifying memories than someone like Slughorn, where you can obviously really tell that those memories are modified. Could he have used modified memories against Fudge at this point? Would Fudge have fallen for that?

Laura: Probably, to be honest. Even if Dumbledore didn’t do a great job of modifying the memories – which I agree with you, Melissa, I think he would probably be very skilled at it – I don’t think Fudge would be able to tell. He’s not competent enough to be able to tell, so it would be pretty easy to pass something like that by him.

Andrew: And as the Minister of Magic for the entire country, you’ve got a lot of stuff on your plate. You don’t need to focus too hard on any one thing. You’re operating at a higher level, at more of a bird’s eye view, telling people what to do. So even just a little bit of evidence, he’s like, “Okay, thank you very much. I’m moving on with my day.”

Eric: But still, this is the years long search for Sirius Black, so I would think he’d be more personally invested in who might have been a co-conspirator. I realize we only have one chapter to wrap this book up, and maybe that’s why these pieces fall into place so nicely, because you could see this being more of an issue of contention, especially Lupin himself. If this were Book 5, Lupin would be at a trial right now for maybe helping Sirius because it’s well known enough that they were friends in school, by the teachers, at least.

Laura: Right. Melissa brought this up; I think part of it is at this point in the series, Fudge is really still very dependent on Dumbledore and really trusts him and his judgment. We always knew that Fudge has a little bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to Dumbledore because he knows that others wanted Dumbledore to be the Minister for Magic more than they wanted him, so he’s constantly writing to Dumbledore asking for advice proactively throughout this point in the series. We see that take a shift towards the end of the next book. But honestly, I could see Dumbledore using the timing to explain this away, similar to how he does for Harry and Hermione, in saying, “Listen, Lupin was transformed and running around somewhere in the Forbidden Forest when Sirius escaped, so he couldn’t have been part of an escape plan.” And I think that something else – and this is just alternate headcanon here – I could also see him telling Fudge that Lupin came to Hogwarts to serve as an informant because of how close he and Sirius were when they were in school, because they knew Sirius to be a threat to Harry, that Dumbledore specifically sought Lupin out to take this post in protection of Harry.

Eric: I could see that.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, he’s not above placing people at Hogwarts to either protect them or use them for his own purposes, see Trelawney, see Slughorn, and I’m sure there’s examples of others as well.

Laura: Oh yeah.

Micah: But I mean, look, can you prove that Lupin cannot scale the walls of Hogwarts and climb all the way up to – what was it, the seventh floor? 13th window? – and release Sirius. That’s actually my point, and this goes to the lack of just investigative work the Ministry does. There’s no evidence, even if Fudge was to look to charge Lupin. There is no evidence anywhere throughout the entire school year that Lupin aided Sirius Black in any way, shape, or form.

Laura: Yeah. Also, we have to remember that Fudge is extremely driven by optics, and he has an optics problem here with the Dementors because if you start digging into who was part of the grand Sirius Black escape plan, it also bubbles to the surface that the Dementors literally tried to attack students and suck their souls out. He’s not going to want to have to deal with a Ministry inquiry about that, and we never see that happen. So I think, to protect himself and his position and perception of his integrity as Minister, I think this all gets swept under the rug for the most part. You can’t, obviously, sweep the whole Sirius Black escaping under the rug bit, but when it comes to the other events of the night, a werewolf getting loose on the grounds, the Dementors attacking students… that’s not something that Fudge is going to want to get out there.

Eric: Sounds like a normal Friday night at Hogwarts, honestly.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: It really does.

Micah: There’s your title, “Normal Friday night at Hogwarts.”

[Laura laughs]

Eric: But honestly, yeah, what you’re saying, Laura, makes a lot of sense. And at least nobody died. By the grace of God, nobody was eaten by Lupin or attacked by Sirius Black. It’s got to be weird that Sirius, whatever his mission is presumed to have been by Fudge, he abandons it and just goes on the run the next two years. What does Fudge make of…? Because I don’t think he’s heard about the Peter Pettigrew theory, so it just is weird because all of a sudden Sirius Black is no longer coming towards Hogwarts. They have to do some kind of explanation as far as that goes.

Micah: I think that’s really an interesting point, that that whole storyline just falls by the wayside after being such a focal point of the third book. It’s almost like… we hear mentions in passing, sightings of Sirius Black, but the Ministry really just, their focus turns elsewhere. Kind of to Andrew’s point earlier, the minister has much more to worry about than just one mass murderer being on the loose.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Well, and we’re privy to, not to say they start next year or start around this time, but we’re privy to, in Book 4, the world really opens up a lot more, and not even just talking about the other schools of magic, but the Bertha Jorkins disappearance is a hot topic of conversation for obvious reasons. We know it directly relates to Voldemort’s return. But the idea that the Ministry has a lot going on and is failing to not just catch a murderer, but their staff is going rogue, MIA, completely unexplainable… all of these little teeny cracks in the surface of the Ministry’s perception, it is an optics problem, and we’re starting to see the glass shatter of the Ministry being able to handle it.

Micah: One other thing that came to mind, and Laura, I’m wondering if you can help me out here kind of connecting the threads a little bit, is at the end of this book, we see somebody who is part of the wizarding community but considered basically to be non-human, and as a result of his condition is no longer able to be a professor at Hogwarts. It’s almost like there’s justice in Order of the Phoenix when we see non-human creatures take out the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor when the centaurs do what they do with Umbridge.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: I’m trying to connect the thread, but… something that just popped into my mind, reading this chapter.

Laura: I think you just connected the thread, Micah. I don’t think you needed my help. Especially given how much of a bigot that new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was and the horrible things she said about Lupin.

Eric: So do we think that maybe Fudge also already knew about Lupin? I mean, we know he didn’t know anything about the Time-Turner, apparently, but certainly having a werewolf student at Hogwarts. It’s old news by now that Lupin was a werewolf, potentially, to the Minister for Magic, because he isn’t seen to react to it at all, the idea that Lupin specifically… Fudge is not calling for any kind of adverse action against Lupin. And in this moment, I do blame… I think having reread this book, most recently now along with us, I do think Lupin should resign not because of the prejudice, but because he did forget to take his potion. I mean, it’s weird how it works, that it’s only one night and done, but it’s huge! It’s absolutely huge. And I’m sorry, but you really did put people in danger. Even Lupin is like, “I really did put people in danger.” You have to leave. You can’t do that at a school and expect to still be a teacher.

Andrew: Yeah, and just thinking about it from the parent angle, of course they’re not going to want this either. It’s just so risky that you can’t risk that again. And we were speaking about this a few weeks ago, he knew it was coming. He knew the full moon was coming. This wasn’t a surprise. But hey, that’s just the DADA curse, right? It was inevitable, I suppose.

Eric: That’s its own silver lining. Yes, Lupin has to leave, boo. But he’s alive.

Andrew: But that was going to happen anyway! Yeah, if it wasn’t this, it was going to be someone else that got him kicked out. So might as well be this.

Eric: Yeah. Aren’t we glad that that Lupin gets to live another day? [laughs] He didn’t get disintegrated when Harry touched him to shake his hand goodbye.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Right. No, he makes it to the Battle of Hogwarts, so… [laughs]

Eric: Oh, wow. I want a T-shirt that says that: “Made it to…”

Andrew: At least he made it to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Eric: Yeah, to say nothing of walking away.

Andrew: [laughs] I guess he got to fight in a war.

Laura: No, I mean, this is maybe a dark take, but I guess you could say that was the DADA curse finally closing the loop on Lupin.

Andrew: Wow. Laura, please leave.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Oh my God. My mind is blown. That’s amazing.

Laura: I’m turning this into group therapy today.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: The next time he sets foot at Hogwarts, the curse has its way.

Laura: I know. It’s been waiting. It’s been sitting there tapping its watch. “Where are you?”

Eric: Oh my God.

Micah: What is that movie series? Final Destination?

Eric: Yeah, no, that’s exactly how it all works. Also, real quick question about Lupin. So he packs all his stuff into a tiny little bag and a grindylow tank, and he carries out the grindylow tank kind of awkwardly. I’m picturing almost like an aquarium. What’s the importance of this thing? Why can’t he vanish it or shrink it or something? It’s just such a classic… I guess because it’s visually interesting to picture Lupin carrying out a grindylow tank with his suitcase.

Melissa: I feel like it just comes down to like, man’s gotta eat. Maybe he’s re-selling the tank when he leaves.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: “This is a good tank. This holds all the grindylows.”

Micah: It could be a little bit of a head nod to Goblet of Fire. I feel like we get a couple of different nuggets in this chapter that resurface in Goblet of Fire. There’s the mention of the Quidditch World Cup, there is the mention of dragons guarding the entrance to Hogwarts, and then there’s also the mention here of the grindylow. Might’ve been the author’s way of just dropping a few clues in the last chapter here.

Eric: I like that.

Andrew: Yeah, and I would also just say we know Rowling has very colorful writing, and this is just more of that. That’s all. The attention to detail is strong.

Eric: Here’s an interesting one: So Harry is really upset that Pettigrew got away. And Dumbledore, who showed up to say goodbye to Lupin after Harry did, tells Harry, “Hey, you know what? Yeah, that’s bad. But your choices, they made all the difference.” [laughs] Like, what? Does this feel like Dumbledore is just giving an empty promise? Or is this classic Dumbledore in that he is comforting and kind of fatherly toward Harry in this moment? How do we read this consolation of “Yeah, he got away, yeah, you told Sirius and Lupin not to kill him, but that matters, buddy”?

Andrew: Well, you think about the fatherly angle. He’s talking to a child; he needs to be supportive here.

Melissa: I really think that it’s classic Dumbledore, where I think we can all agree, terrible person, fantastic character.

[Andrew laughs]

Melissa: So I think he cares about Harry, but I also think that he is always calculating. He’s always planning ahead. So I think that this is actually part of Dumbledore preparing Harry as a lamb for slaughter. I think he’s trying to… as a young man, he is realizing that he has to help build that confidence and character that Harry will eventually need in order to sacrifice himself as the last Horcrux.

Eric: Wow, that’s pretty deep.

[Andrew sighs]

Laura: I think also, this is an important contrast between Harry and Voldemort. Dumbledore has this conversation with Harry later in the series, but Harry is doing the exact opposite of what Voldemort would do in this moment, and that is what matters. That is the power that Harry has over Voldemort. It ties back into what Dumbledore says, the famous quote, “It is our choices that determine who we are, not how we were born,” or something to that effect. I think this is an early distinction being made between Harry and Voldemort as characters, which we know matters because the two of them end up having so much in common.

Eric: That’s a really good point.

Micah: Agreed. I will say, the one thing that I actually like about the Prisoner of Azkaban movie… and the movie has grown on me over the years, so I’m not completely crapping on it in this particular moment. What I did really enjoy about the movie was that it’s actually Lupin that delivers many of these lines to Harry, and I think to your question, Eric, they feel more authentic coming from Lupin than from Dumbledore, right? Because we know the relationship that Lupin and Sirius have. So when he says, “You helped uncover the truth, you saved an innocent man from a terrible fate,” he’s talking about one of his best friends in this moment. For Dumbledore to say it, it just seems a little bit out of place and out of character for him. In this moment. I’m not saying that Dumbledore doesn’t care about Harry – I think he does on some level – but he cares more about the greater good and his own objectives, as we see play out later on in the series. I’m just curious what you all think about that.

Eric: Yeah, well, I know that we have… so at the end of the next book, there’s this classic moment, this gleam of triumph that Dumbledore has, and it’s when he finds out that Voldemort used Harry’s blood to build his new body. But there’s not not that same kind of moment here when Dumbledore goes into it a little bit more, and you’re like, “Well, what do you mean that this was a good thing, Dumbledore?” And he tells Harry that “Pettigrew owes his life to you. You have sent Voldemort a deputy who is in your debt… When one wizard saves another wizard’s life, it creates a certain bond between them… and I’m much mistaken if Voldemort wants his servant in the debt of Harry Potter… This is magic at its deepest, most impenetrable, Harry. But trust me… the time may come when you will be very glad you saved Pettigrew’s life.” Dumbledore is spot on regarding this.

Micah: Because he’s God.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Micah: He’s already seen this all play out.

Eric: Maybe, yeah. I think that the payoff to this line is botched a little; Pettigrew’s hand is weird enough, and then it’s a question whether or not there’s actually a calling in of the debt versus Pettigrew hesitating, or maybe because he hesitates and the hand kills him… Pettigrew’s death scene is when this pays off, and it’s all very weird to me; I’ll need to reread it. But as far as advice for the future, this is Dumbledore at his finest, in a way, because he is claiming to know stuff about magic that is deeper than pretty much anybody will ever know about magic. Dumbledore has gone further and is able to speak to magic, like the magic that involves love, but when we think about the protection on Privet Drive, that’s actually really the level of magic that Dumbledore is talking about here. The fact that there’s somebody in Harry’s family that’s able to… and that ends up concealing Harry for so, so long. So I guess nobody else is qualified to speak to how big a moment or how big a deal Harry’s sparing Peter was than Dumbledore. So it does make sense, I guess, that this comes from Dumbledore.

Micah: It does. I see it as a Pillsbury Doughboy moment where he’s like, “Oohoo, this is even better than I expected.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “Ooh, this is even better than I thought! This is all going according to plan.”

Micah: Yeah, Andrew does it better than I do.

Andrew: “Oohoo!”

Laura: That raises the question for me, and I know we bring this up every so often, but how much does Dumbledore know at this point about the connection between Harry and Voldemort? How much does he suspect? Is he already investigating Horcruxes? Does he already have an inkling of how this is going to play out?

Eric: Horcrux-wise, yes, because he tells Harry later that the diary was the first real proof that he had that Horcruxes had been made, so I think he’s onto the Horcrux thing. For me, this also speaks to… going back to the prophecy, which we’re going to talk about the prophecy later in the chapter, the other prophecy that Trelawney made, but the first one, knowing that Voldemort had a choice between two people and physically acted to mark Harry over Neville, and then watching the pieces fall into play… nobody else had ever survived the Killing Curse, but Harry does. This speaks to me to be that same level of… Dumbledore is just spotting the moments where something is going to be set up that’s paid off later. Because this life debt thing, Dumbledore is like, “You’ve sent Voldemort a servant that’s in your debt. That’s going to fail catastrophically.” I feel like that’s actually a really good educated guess that is reasonable if you’re familiar with how prophecies work. And knowing that eventually, Harry… we want him to triumph, and he’s going to get special skills that will allow him to triumph. This sounds like a very obvious way by which Harry will have an advantage over Voldemort. So thinking of it in terms of “We know there’s a prophecy here,” it also makes sense that Dumbledore would connect the dots and be like, “That’s a problem. Harry can’t go live with Sirius, and he’s not looking forward to going back to the Dursleys.” But Ron brings up the prospect of the Quidditch World Cup.

Andrew: I do like that little look ahead to Book 4.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, it’s a look ahead, and it also shows that even though Harry is feeling down in this chapter, the future is not all dread. That’s what I’m getting at with this whole overview, it’s like, every bad news, there’s still some good news here..

Andrew: It’s still the wonderful Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.

Eric: [laughs] Specifically down in Orlando, Florida. I think the needle really is threaded by the author of setting our mood because we’ve had such a profound disappointment. And because I fell so in love with Sirius Black when I first met him in reading this book the first time, I ultimately didn’t come away feeling so disappointed because there was this massaging of the bad moments with the good throughout this entire chapter. That feels like what’s happening is this massaging of the bad facts with some good facts.

Micah: Yeah, it’s like for every down moment, you’re uplifted very soon thereafter.

Eric: Yeah. So we’re looking forward to the Quidditch World Cup. Here’s another example: Ron doesn’t have a rat anymore, which could be lonely. It could be lonely for for Ron.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Ron needs a pet.

Eric: For many, many years, Ron has had a pet. Well, guess what? This chapter solves that problem because Sirius Black sends a letter to the Hogwarts Express that reaches Harry and Ron, and at the end of it, he says, “Ron should have this owl seeing as how it’s my fault he doesn’t have a pet anymore.”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Which I thought was also an interesting move from the perspective of building a relationship with Harry, between Sirius and Harry.

Eric: Ooh.

Andrew: Because Sirius is gifting his BFF a meaningful animal. It’s just a very thoughtful gift.

Eric: 100%.

Andrew: And you think about building relationships here in the horrible Muggle world, that means a lot. That means a lot if you’re thinking about somebody’s friends as well and trying to win them over. So this is actually winning Ron over in terms of that angle, too, Harry and Sirius being friends now.

Eric: That’s a great point.

Laura: And he also sent Harry a signed permission form for visiting Hogsmeade, so he’s just knocking it out of the park here as godfather.

Eric: Well, you know Ron isn’t expecting the gift. I think that’s what makes it especially… Ron doesn’t yet have that persecution process where it’s like, nobody ever thinks about Ron, “I’m just the sidekick,” whatever. That all happens next year. But he ultimately, nevertheless, is not expecting correspondence between Sirius and Harry to relate to him at all. And he’s given this wonderful gift; it’s genuinely thoughtful. Yes, it strategically serves him to give it, but I think it matters. I think it really does. Ron has already, I think, over the last chapter been coming to the realization that Sirius is a good person. I think he’s thankful that Scabbers has been exposed, because even though he resisted it, he’s glad to know and is repulsed by his own not having known for so long. But when he comes to in the hospital wing at the beginning of the chapter, the first thing he asks is, “Where’s Sirius? Where’s Lupin?” Sirius first? I think he’s already started to kind of… just in the way, Andrew, that you were saying that Sirius is thinking about how to get in with Harry and part of that is wooing his friend, I think Ron wants to get closer to Harry by feeling closer to Harry’s relations, if that makes sense. Doing that friend thing where you want to get to know your friend’s parents, so to speak, to get you in with them. I think Ron is already beginning to feel some of that almost semi-friend/family connection to Sirius. And the gift helps.

Micah: Let’s not forget, too… yeah, the gift in part because of what happened to Pettigrew, but he also broke his leg. Like, in fairness, “Sorry I broke your leg, dude. Have this owl,” as a thank you for it. Also, if I was Hermione I’d be kind of pissed. Like, without my Time-Turner. “You didn’t get me anything?”

Laura: [laughs] That’s right. “You wouldn’t have a soul right now if it weren’t for me.”

Eric: Maybe she thinks it’s even, because the Firebolt situation… because that also happens in this chapter. Sirius is like, in the letter, “By the way, it was me who got you the Firebolt,” and Hermione says, “Ha!” and she feels vindicated. Maybe that’s a gift. That’s the gift he gives. That’s the gift he gives Hermione, the peace of mind that she was right. And you know what, there’s no greater gift.

Micah: True.

Melissa: I do also think, though, here you also get a full circle kind of healing moment for Ron and Hermione, in that Ron asks Crookshanks to basically verify that the owl is an owl. So I also think Hermione gets that in a form of a gift, just that her and Ron have come full circle, and they’re done with their little healing journey for this book.

Eric: I just got chills in that analysis. That’s awesome. So Hermione does get some good things.

Laura: Yeah. I did want to point out, just speaking of things coming full circle, doesn’t Ron pretty quickly start talking smack about Pig, his new owl, in the next book? So he’s back on his old you-know-what?

[Melissa and Micah laugh]

Eric: Complain about your pet? Yeah. It’s funny because everyone loves Pig, and I think Ron is feeling immediately almost quasi-threatened about it. The fact that he didn’t even get to name it himself, that other people are taking an interest, and it’s a little bit more enthusiastic than Scabbers was, so there’s this adjustment phase where Ron doesn’t know how to pet-parent him.

Laura: And he’s like, “Hey, this is my excitable owl that was gifted to me by an escaped madman.” [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, not anyone else’s pet. So there’s that. And we mentioned this, but the the last thing I have here is even though Harry is hurtling on a train back towards the Dursleys for a shitty partial summer, at least, his Hogsmeade permission slip has been signed. And not only do I think that this is the most heartwarming moment in the book, or the series… and it involves Sirius reading Dumbledore’s reaction, like, “Yeah, Dumbledore will go for this.” Because the official stance of the Ministry is still that Sirius is an escaped convict and no other person besides Dumbledore would actually accept this permission slip. But for me, it really shows Sirius’s emotional wholeness, to know how Harry feels about having been left out in that moment, and Harry’s own struggle with authorization from the Dursleys. I just think that this moment of including the permission slip in the letter is really good insight and proof that emotional intelligence does exist in Sirius Black. Those phrases are not always put next to each other. But I think that Sirius really understands Harry in a deep way, and this shows it.

Andrew: You mentioned it being very heartwarming, one of the most in the series, if not the most. I think we spoke earlier in the series about how as readers, we really wanted to see Harry get to go to Hogsmeade. We wanted him to have that experience because we wanted that type of experience, and he’s being left out. He’s being excluded, and everybody else gets to have all the fun. So for him, finally, to receive a permission slip that to the reader just makes a lot of sense… that is family giving him permission to go. It’s just so vindicating as a reader to because in a way you get to go to Hogsmeade as well.

Micah: It’s about us, at the end of the day. Not about Harry. [laughs]

Andrew: Sorry to be selfish…

Micah: No, it’s fair.

Andrew: I don’t know. As a reader, you put yourself in Harry’s shoes, right? That definitely… I agree with you, Eric, it is one of the most heartwarming moments and it’s one of those moments that sticks with you, I think. The first time I read it… I still remember that first time reading this part and being like, “Ooh!”

Micah: Yeah, it’s that uplift, right? We were talking about the different parts of this chapter. You get let down one moment, but then not long thereafter, you’re uplifted again. And I think this is really a full book moment, too, especially once we get to the end of the chapter and Harry gets off the train and he he throws Sirius into Vernon’s face. Let’s not forget, Vernon knows the name “Sirius Black.” He’s heard it on TV. He knows he’s an escaped convict; goes all the way back to the beginning of this book. And in the beginning of the book, it was the Dursleys who had the upper hand, right? Vernon, Petunia, Marge in particular. Now chapter 22, here we are. Harry has the upper hand going back home to Privet Drive because he can dangle Sirius above the Dursleys’ head.

Laura: And it’s bookended with those chapter titles, right? Chapter 1, it’s “Owl Post.” This chapter, it’s “Owl Post Again.”

Eric: Okay, so just getting into a much smaller portion of discussion for this chapter. There’s two things that come up that apparently Dumbledore did not know anything about, and would not have known anything about if it weren’t for the events of the last chapter and this one. And this is stunning to me. We always talk about Dumbledore being this master manipulator with hands in every pie, but Harry is the one that tells Dumbledore that Trelawney has made another prediction. And immediately by Harry’s description, he knows that it’s authentic because Dumbledore knows. But the only one that can tell Dumbledore that this happened is Harry because they were alone together, so that’s why Dumbledore didn’t know. However, it’s just really interesting that this bit of information catches Dumbledore like… it is the Pillsbury moment. He’s like, “Oh, another! Oohoo!”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Another prediction to deal with? What? And I wonder if he then is going to go interview Trelawney or try and figure out more detail about what it was.

Melissa: I was actually just thinking about this, that something that would be interesting is like, does Dumbledore secretly extract this memory out of Harry so that it can then go to the Hall of prophecies? Or does he just rely on Harry’s memory of it?

Andrew: Ooh.

Eric: Yeah, because he doesn’t ask for it word for word. He actually plays it really chill. Dumbledore is just like, “Oh, I do believe that was the second real prophecy she’s ever made. Haha, perhaps I should give her a raise. Haha.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: But you know he’s doing further investigation. You know he’s gotta… I mean, I thought it was one of the Unspeakables that’s recording the prophecy, like somebody is standing by at the Hall of Prophecy with a radio transmitter and it’s just transcribing all the… that’s what I always imagined it was, because you can’t get it from Sybill. She doesn’t remember doing it. So how is that prophecy then officially recorded? I don’t know.

Andrew: Does Dumbledore have the school mic’d up? That wouldn’t surprise me.

[Micah laughs]

Laura: Well, I don’t think this prophecy does get recorded. I don’t think we ever get any information one way or the other.

Melissa: No, we definitely don’t.

Micah: Right. You would think Fudge would act on it. Or you would think Fudge would be more likely to side with Dumbledore if this prophecy was actually recorded, right?

Eric: Well, there’s no option that it wasn’t recorded, right? It’s just deep in the bowels of the Hall of Prophecy? My understanding of how that works, again, is like a transcript. But an Unspeakable by definition is not going to be taking that to the Minister of Magic going, “This prophecy was received today.”

Micah: But it’s curious then why Dumbledore didn’t use it to try and influence Fudge.

Melissa: Well, couldn’t you argue that Fudge could think that the servant returning to Voldemort is Sirius?

Andrew: Ahh.

Micah: That’s fair.

Eric: Yeah, because it’s deliberately written to be either of them. Because back when we first hear it, we think it means Sirius.

Micah: But even then, though, it’s still implying that Voldemort will return. So you have Fudge who is ignorant and not believing that… so I guess the piece of it that Fudge would ignore is that Voldemort is going to come back.

Laura: Now I’m just wondering how the heck do prophecies get recorded at all?

[Micah laughs]

Laura: How does that happen? Does that get explained in Order of the Phoenix?

Andrew: Well, Eric said they just kind of go to the Hall of Prophecies, right? And that’s my recollection of how it works.

Eric: It’s weird because there’s… that’s a future plot hole for Book 5 discussion.

[Laura and Melissa laugh]

Eric: But really, the really authentic ones get a prophecy container put to them, but how do you know if it’s authentic? Because there’s thousands and hundreds of thousands, so they don’t all come true. So they have to be real enough to warrant an orb, but they still might not then all come true, I guess is the difference.

Laura: Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t like this idea that there’s some nebulous force that records and extracts prophecies in the moment that they’re made, because to your point, Eric, then there’s no vetting system.

Eric: Well, the alternative is that somebody has to report it.

Melissa: I was just going to say, I wonder if it’s the same magic that makes Remembralls work. It’s a little orb, it has a memory or something stored in it, and I wonder if we knew more about how that worked if we’d be able to decipher how prophecies are stored.

Eric: If a single human is involved in the process of recording the prophecy, there will be human error, and it wouldn’t work, so it has to be this ethereal thing. Regardless, Dumbledore would not know about this second prophecy if Harry didn’t directly tell him in this chapter, so that to me is really interesting. And I think that although Dumbledore jokes about giving Trelawney a raise, if I were Dumbledore, I would actually be really excited to know, first of all, that Trelawney can still do it, that she still… there’s a reason… this for anything is the payoff.

Micah: She’s still got it.

Eric: She’s still got it, baby!

Micah: After all these years.

Andrew: [imitates Trelaney] “I still got it! Ahh!”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: This justifies him keeping her on for the last 13…

Andrew: [laughs] “You earned your keep, girl. Good work.”

Micah: Well, along those lines, I was wondering, do we think that as a seer, Trelawney is – and this may not be the right term – deep linked to Harry and Voldemort? Because she often gets made fun of for being a fraud, but she clearly has the gift of prophecy. So perhaps through magic or some other means, Harry and Voldemort are the only ones that can trigger her.

Eric: That’s an interesting thought.

Melissa: Ooh, I love that.

Eric: So she’s gifted in the art of prophecy, but only as it pertains to one very narrow subject.

Micah: Right.

Andrew: Wow.

Melissa: Is that just some level of proximity where she’s nearby them?

Eric: She’s the closest seer.

Melissa: Dumbledore is very invested in this.

Eric: Yeah, 100%. The other thing that Dumbledore has learned, that apparently he really actually didn’t know, was that the Marauders were Animagi. And that is something that he finds out from talking with Sirius and later, I assume, Lupin to some degree. Because we talked about how permissive Dumbledore is to Harry exploring the castle, I would have thought he would have actually been fine with the Marauders galavanting around, even putting people in human danger from Lupin, if he had known about it. But the line in the book really is that he didn’t, and he tells Harry that he really didn’t, and I believe him when he says it. So that’s something… I mean, the way he says it to Harry is “The most impressive part about all of this is that they kept it from me.” And I find that to be like, good on you, Marauders.

Laura: Yeah, I find it curious, given the fact that the Marauders were not exactly discreet about any of this when they were in school. I mean, they literally assigned themselves nicknames that were reflective of their animal forms. And I think it’s just such an interesting observation about Dumbledore that he is so good at seeing through people and picking up on these, I think to Dumbledore, otherwise very obvious red flags that other people don’t see. Tom Riddle is a perfect prime example of this. But it seems like he just may not be paying as close attention if the key players aren’t “baddies.”

Eric: Well, and even Voldemort, he allows Tom Riddle to rise to the occasion of being awful and evil, and that demonstrates some level of failure somewhere down further along the line. But yeah, when you were saying that, Laura, I thought, “Dumbledore is a human Mirror of Erised.” He knows what the desires are of pretty much everybody near him and is constantly using that info to manipulate them. But yeah, he still has blind spots.

Laura: Yeah. I love that comparison of Dumbledore being a human Mirror of Erised.

Micah: I don’t think Dumbledore could have known, if we’re following the story, because let’s not forget, he would have then been fully responsible for Lupin being out on the grounds as a werewolf. And he was taking every measure to protect the other students by creating the Shrieking Shack, by putting the Whomping Willow in place, right? So if he was aware of the Marauders doing what they were doing, and that they were all Animagi, that would call into question his ability as headmaster, right?

Laura: We call those to question every episode.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: But Andrew shared that note we got on Slack, and now I’m trying to be a little bit nicer to Dumbledore.

Andrew: You know, I appreciate that. I received a text message from somebody who listens to the show, his name is Lucas, and he’s been concerned about this before. Should I read it real quick?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: He said to me, “I would love for the rest of the panel to be challenged at some point to actually like Dumbledore again. I can’t take all the Dumble-hate, he’s my favorite and they take all the fun and whimsy out of him. I know everyone is analyzing this Chapter by Chapter with a more adult perspective this time around, but sometimes it seems like they hate Dumbledore more than Voldemort at this point!”

Micah: Well, Voldemort hasn’t been here enough.

Eric: Yeah, that’s a good point. You know what we’re going to do? At the beginning of next book, starting Chapter 1 of Book 4, we’re going to start a Voldemort sucks count.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Every time Voldemort sucks, we’re going to count it, and every time Voldemort lies, we’re going to count it. And I bet by the end of the next book, Voldemort will have lied more than Dumbledore did the whole series, and if we implement that count, it will prove to listeners once and for all we like Dumbledore.

[Andrew gasps]

Eric: Just like Melissa said, sucky person, fantastic character. We all love Dumbledore! I don’t know what this person is talking about.

Andrew: Well, I think you guys have kind of snowballed into…

Eric: “You guys.” Not Andrew.

Andrew: You people… no, I think… so Dumbledore is not perfect, obviously. But I think you guys have maybe turned it into sort of a running joke, but I’m not sure it’s a joke.

Micah: None of the characters are perfect, right? That’s the beauty of this.

Andrew: Right, I mean, how many times do I need to quote Hannah Montana? Nobody’s perfect. This is one of the greatest lessons I learned from her.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Except you. You’re perfect.

Eric: We don’t have a Seamus lie count or a Nearly Headless Nick sucks count.

Laura: Well, yeah, they’re not they’re not on screen enough.

Eric: That’s what I’m saying about restitution. We really will do a Voldemort sucks count, and I think it’ll prevent some of these emails from being sent of like, we’re all hating on Dumbledore and nobody else.

Melissa: We know Dumbledore on a more personal level. All things considered, we don’t get a lot of face time with Voldemort and his actual thoughts. We always get perceptions of his thoughts and perceptions of his actions. So I think we also have the ability to be more scrutinies with Dumbledore because we see him more, and we see him as more of a person and not a villain, if that makes sense.

Laura: Yeah, and I think part of it, too… and I accept the feedback. I think it’s really valid. At the end of the day, Dumbledore is a very complicated character, and that’s one of the things that I actually love the most about him. I feel the same way about Snape, right? Snape is one of my favorite characters, not because I think he’s a great guy, but he’s extremely well written and very complicated, and I would say the same for Dumbledore. I think when we’re doing these Chapter by Chapter rereads, we’re also doing it through the lens that we know what’s coming later in the series. And as a first-time reader of these books, you are under the impression that Dumbledore is this kind of perfect, godlike, all-knowing character. And then the facade starts to be dismantled the further you get into the series, and you learn that Dumbledore is just human, just like anyone else. I think a well-intentioned human, someone who at the end of the day got things right, largely, but there are a lot of imperfections. And I think it’s a really interesting point of conversation to look at those, given the stature that Dumbledore has in the wizarding world, especially if we’re comparing and contrasting him with figures like Grindelwald like Voldemort, who are equally matched in terms of magical ability, but on completely different moral pages.

Micah: Yes.

Laura: It goes back to our choices.

Eric: It would be wrong for us to wait until Book 7 when Book 7 actively questions Dumbledore and his whole ability and his meaning and all that, for us to be doing that. That would be way too late in the game because I think these moments exist in the earlier books for us to pick up on and question and get into detail with, because this story… Dumbledore has been Dumbledore and the author has been writing Dumbledore the same exact way since Book 1 with his sort of “Will I tell him, will I not tell him” kind of attitude, and so it’s perfectly ripe for our discussion to be doing this.

Laura: Yeah, but I will say I think Lucas does raise a good point. There are a lot of really fun Dumbledore moments and maybe it’s time for us to start… Andrew is like, squinting right now. Andrew, you’re the Dumbledore apologist.

Andrew: No, keep going, keep going, keep going.

Micah: He’s noting all of the nice things.

Laura: I think that there probably are more opportunities to observe those fun, whimsical moments.

Micah: We just did, in this chapter.

Eric: Okay, we’re starting a “Dumbledore is fun” count.

Micah: I mean, let’s not forget, I know we’re going to get to Odds & Ends, but one of the Odds & Ends that comes out of this conversation is we learn about Harry’s Patronus actually taking the form of Prongs before we even see it in the last chapter, because it happens during the Quidditch match and we’re not told in the moment that it took the form of a stag. And Dumbledore has this really powerful quote where he says, “Prongs rode again last night.” That’s the Dumbledore that we all love, right? There’s a Dumbledore that we grow not to love.

Andrew: Right, that we all love.

Micah: Yes, there you go.

Andrew: Well, thank you.

Micah: No problem.

Andrew: Thank you, panel, for indulging me and Lucas and I’m sure many others.


Odds & Ends


Eric: All right, it’s time for Odds & Ends. Real fun moment here is once the news about Lupin comes out, there’s kind of a pool going as far as who their next DADA professor will be. I think it’s Seamus Finnigan who jokes, “What if it’s a vampire?” The idea that the kids are picking up on Hogwarts being a security nightmare is always very funny and entertaining. They’re like, “What dangerous person could they possibly ascribe to us next?” It’s just a very fun moment. But they’re not wrong, in a way. I mean, I think an ex-Auror is pretty much as badass as you can get, to be honest, about the stakes getting higher every book.

Micah: There’s also a brief moment where Percy gives Ministry vibes and he talks about what he would do once he works for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and I just think that that’s comical given where he ends up in the not too distant future.

Eric: That’s a good point. And this one is from Meg: Harry sitting down by the water and lamenting that he doesn’t get to go and live with Sirius apparently is reflective of a moment at Order of the Phoenix where Harry sits by the lake after Sirius has died and reflects on the fact that he doesn’t have Sirius anymore.

Laura: Oh, what a great catch.

Eric: So very, very sad but incredible connection.

Laura: Great catch, Meg.

Melissa: I know something that stands out to me is, this is one of those times where we got a moment that doesn’t necessarily make sense until Book 7 – similar to the gleam of triumph that Dumbledore gets – is that we’re watching Dumbledore through Harry learning about this prophecy, and that Dumbledore is starting to realize that we’re getting closer and closer and closer to Voldemort coming back.

Eric: That is interesting.


MVP of the Week


Andrew: All right, well, this has been a great discussion and it’s time for MVP of the week.

[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: I’m going to give it to Harry, specifically for telling Vernon he has a godfather who is a convicted murderer who escaped from prison just to troll him. Very good.

Eric: I’m going to give it to Snape, who tells people that you cannot Apparate or Disapparate in Hogwarts. He sounds a little bit like Hermione when he does it. But that means that Snape has read Hogwarts: A History.

Micah: It also shows you how much Fudge doesn’t know.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: I’m going to give it to Santa Sirius, just throwing gifts all around this chapter from the Hogsmeade permission slip to Pigwidgeon to, as you said, Andrew, giving Harry something to hang over Uncle Vernon’s head for the entire summer. And also mentioning the fact that he sent Harry the Firebolt back in the earlier part of the year. So Santa Sirius gets my MVP.

Laura: I’m going to give mine to Hermione because punctuality has its perks, including not messing up the timeline.

Melissa: And I’m giving it to Remus because he managed to wander the Hogwarts grounds as a werewolf without eating anything or anyone.

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Andrew: I was also thinking earlier, to Laura’s MVP choice, that maybe Hermione was just so satisfied that the year worked out with the Time-Turner that she didn’t need any other gifts. She was personally fulfilled just pulling off the Time-Turner stuff so well.

Micah: Okay, Andrew.

Andrew: Uh-oh.

Micah: If you were sitting in the train car, right, and you see Harry get the letter, the truth about the Firebolt, you see Ron get a new pet, aren’t you going to feel a little left out?

Andrew: Okay, but I just pulled off a sweet Time-Turner…

Micah: Or is it just the satisfaction of knowing that you gave Sirius his freedom?

Andrew: Oh, well, no, there’s that, but I’m also just so relieved that the whole Time-Turner situation worked out. Like, “Phew, thank God that’s all over!” I don’t know, that feels like a good gift to me.

Micah: I don’t know, I feel like if we were talking after this happened and you had experienced that, you would feel a little left out. Like if I gave presents to everyone on the panel here for the holidays, and I didn’t give you a present, you would feel left out.

Andrew: Yes, but if I also just felt like I pulled off a sweet holiday season, I was personally fulfilled in other ways…

Micah: Or that our friendship is enough? Is that it?

Andrew: Maybe that gift… If you have any feedback about this debate or anything else in today’s episode…

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Andrew: … send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com or you can use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. To send a voice message, record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file, or you can use our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE. That’s 1-920-368-4453. So next week we’ll have a Muggle Mail episode, and any other POA wrap-up we want to do if we’re going to continue this heated debate that Micah and I were just having. And then the week after will be the previously announced Goblet of Fire movie commentary, and then the week after, Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter will begin.

Eric: With our Voldemort Sucks count.

Andrew: [laughs] With our Voldemort Sucks count.


Quizzitch


Andrew: And now it’s time for Quizzitch.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question: At the end of term, who arrives to see Lupin after Harry does? The correct answer is Professor Dumbledore, or as one person put it, that well-known liar Dumbledore. Correct answers… we actually got Rick-rolled this week. Somebody sent a YouTube link in their name form to “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

[Laura laughs]

Eric: This is getting really out of hand now, if I’m having to click from an Excel doc to go into a YouTube link, so toned it down, y’all.

Laura: No, don’t.

Andrew: Peace and love, peace and love.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: I love it. Keep it coming.

[Quizzitch music ends]

Eric: Correct answers were submitted by Buff Daddy; Bagels for Buckbeak; Crookshanks supremacy; Drunk Hagrid; Dan the 33-almost-34-year-old – love people are putting their names in here – Luke the 12-year-old, yes, it’s my birthday – happy birthday, Luke!

Laura: Aww, happy birthday!

Eric: That’s crazy, when your your Quizzitch submission people turn a year older in their names. Jenny Penny Landon, age 37; Mrs. Snape; The software update you have to install before you play Hogwarts Legacy; The Fat Lady deserves an MVP for taking Sirius’s abuse; Will.i.am; Your favorite Slytherin Grace; and Snape’s chance at beautiful glory crushed, ground into dust, the bitter taste still in his mouth. Wow.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: Congratulations to all of you who’ve done that and more. And here is next week’s Quizzitch question.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Who gives Pigwigeon his name? Submit your answer to us on the Quizzitch form, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav.

[Quizzitch music ends]

Eric: Also, fun fact about Pigwidgeon: did not appear in the Goblet of Fire movie, but was cast and a promotional photo does exist, I found, of Rupert Grint holding this tiny little owl. And I put it in our show document for those who are able to view that live, but it’s really adorable.

Andrew: Wicked!

Eric: Wicked.

Andrew: Melissa, it was great having you on the show today. Thanks so much.

Melissa: Thank you guys for having me so much.

Andrew: You’re so welcome. Your contributions were awesome, and we really appreciate your support on Patreon. And we’ll keep an eye out for more UK editions and we’ll continue putting U’s in words that we normally don’t in your honor.

[Andrew and Melissa laugh]

Melissa: I appreciate that very much.

Andrew: If you want the opportunity to be a co-host on MuggleCast like Melissa was today, you can join our Patreon, Patreon.com/MuggleCast, and become a Slug Club level patron. And you get lots of other benefits, too, including access to our live streams, ad-free MuggleCast, the monthly Slug Club hangouts that we do, a new physical gift every year – beanies will be going out soon, BTW – and so much more. Oh, well Melissa, you’re up in Canada so you’re probably going to appreciate the beanie, right?

Melissa: Absolutely, never have enough. But it’s called a toque.

Andrew: A togue?!

Eric: Like, “Fool of a Took”?

Melissa: Toque, spelled T-O-Q-U-E.

Andrew: Wow.

Eric: Spelling is weird in Canada, y’all.

Melissa: We borrow from the French and the British.

Laura: We don’t get to make those statements, Eric, because we’re the ones who made changes to the way we spell when we separated from the British. We were like, “We’re going to take all the U’s out, we’re going to drive on the other side of the road, we’re just going to do it completely differently.”

Eric: You’re right, Laura, I retract my earlier statement. We have no jambe to stand on, which is French for leg.

[Laura and Melissa laugh]

Andrew: Well, Melissa, look forward to your MuggleCast toque coming in another month-ish, let’s say, just in time for fall and winter. If you don’t want to support us on Patreon, we do have a couple other options. You can support us on Apple Podcast financially. For $2.99 a month, you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcast app. Patreon does offer more benefits, but if you’d prefer to support us right there, we do really appreciate that. You can also tap into the Patreon banner from Spotify if you’re a Spotify user instead. Don’t forget to fill out the survey, check out our show notes and our social media channels for a link to that. We really appreciate your feedback. Don’t forget to fill out the form for the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. There’s always stuff happening here at MuggleCast. It’s like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And last but not least, do follow us on social media. We’re @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads, where we cover occasionally connecting the threads. We will be recording a bonus MuggleCast as well for Patreon supporters this week, so be sure to enjoy that once it comes out. And I think that about does it, so thanks everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Melissa: And I’m Melissa.

Andrew: Bye, everybody.

Laura: Bye, y’all.

Micah: Bye.

Transcript #626

 

MuggleCast 626 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #626, Snape’s Best Memory (POA Chapter 21, Hermione’s Secret)


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: This week, be sure to not be seen by anyone, especially yourself.

Eric: It’s against the law.

Andrew: We’re discussing Chapter 21 of Prisoner of Azkaban, the penultimate – I love that word…

Eric: It’s a good word.

Andrew: … chapter in Prisoner of Azkaban. Before we get to that, a couple of announcements. Don’t forget, there’s still time to pledge to our Patreon and join the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. Last year we introduced the MuggleCast Collector’s Club, in which each year between now and 2026 we’re sending five exclusive stickers that celebrate the show’s past and present. We’re also giving you the Collector’s Club card, on which you can place the stickers. It’s a beautiful backing card showing MuggleCast listeners heading into Hogwarts. Good time of year to talk about that, since we just celebrated back to Hogwarts season.

Micah: Choo-choo.

Laura: Year two’s stickers depict our old Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul segment; A classic iPod with MuggleCast playing on it; Hogwarts on fire, which pays homage to our classic security nightmare correlations that we frequently draw on the show; we have a sticker that honors Jamie’s old British Joke of the Week segment; plus, we have tier-based exclusives, either a Dumbledore’s Army or Slug Club sticker. And I have to say, the Slug Club sticker is super cute because it has literal slugs clinking glasses, as slugs are known to do in a club.

Andrew: [laughs] Sure, yes. That’s canon now. So you can pledge at the $5 or $10 level by September 22, and you have to fill out the form on Patreon to receive this year’s stickers and the club card. This is just one of many benefits you receive, so do pledge now, and thanks everybody who supports us. Speaking of support, maybe you can’t support us financially. That’s okay. We would love a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify because it helps introduce new listeners to the show. Here’s a recent review we received from Anika on Apple Podcasts in Australia.

Eric: It’s a five star review. They say, [reads in an Australian accent]

“I first discovered MuggleCast…”

[drops accent] I can’t do an Australia accent.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Oh my God. Well, you did live in Australia or New Zealand for a little time.

Eric: I did, I did, yeah. I think I got it. [reads in an Australian accent]

“I first discovered MuggleCast back in the long, long ago, before the Potter series was…”

[laughs] I can’t do it, I’m sorry. [drops accent]

“… before the Potter series was complete, and I was hungry for speculation, analysis, and community around my favorite series. I am now 31 and have rediscovered the show this year, and listening to each episode feels like coming home. Thanks for keeping the series going and for bringing new and insightful discussion to the table after all this time.”

Andrew: That’s really nice. Thank you so much.

Laura: Aww, that’s so sweet.

Andrew: Hopefully you don’t give us a negative review now if you didn’t like Eric’s accent…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: … but I feel like it was good enough.

Eric: It was bursting through.

Micah: No, only one review is allowed.

Eric: Oh, that’s right.

Andrew: Oh, that’s true. Yeah, we’re safe.

Micah: I do like hearing listeners who are coming back to the show after so much time. It is very cool to hear that people listened to us back in the day and now that they’re a little bit older, they’re finding us again and it feels like coming home.

Andrew: Yeah, and I think part of it for people is they just kind of assume we don’t exist anymore, which would be understandable when you’ve been around for so long.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: 18 years!

Andrew: “No way that podcast is still around.” And thanks to everybody who leaves a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and anywhere else, but mainly Apple Podcasts and Spotify have a review function. That’s why we focus on those two. But if your app has a review function, please do drop a review, we would appreciate it.


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


Andrew: And now it’s time for Chapter by Chapter. This week we’re discussing Chapter 21 of Prisoner of Azkaban, “Hermione’s Secret,” and we’ll start as always with our seven-word summary.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Andrew: Hermione…

Laura: … saves…

Eric: … Buckbeak…

Micah: … with…

Andrew: … a…

Laura: … Time…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: Quick, don’t let it run out.

Eric: … Turner!

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]

Andrew: Turner! I was hoping it was going to go towards like, “with a shiny thing,” or I don’t know. [laughs]

Laura: “With a shiny thing.” Not me sitting here panicking in the moment thinking, “Is Time-Turner one word or two?”

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: For the purposes of this seven-word summary.

Eric: It’s hyphenated.

Micah: It’s hyphenated, isn’t it?

Laura: Yeah, because we’re Americans. We hyphenate these things, right?

Eric: Yay.

Laura: [laughs] So it counts.


Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion


Micah: Yeah, so this is the chapter where I noted both a lot and not a lot happen at the same time. And if we’re to expand a little bit on the seven-word summary, basically what happens in this chapter is Hermione reveals she has a Time-Turner and she and Harry go back in time about three hours to “fix” everything that happened in the last several chapters. And that’s it.

Andrew: Well, thanks, everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Eric: We should do five-minute mini MuggleCasts. Like, mini mini MuggleCasts. Mini C-by-C.

Laura: That’d be funny.

Micah: But the way I wanted to take a look at this chapter is through two different lenses, right? The first is Snape and his behavior at the beginning of the chapter, and then the second is talking about something I think Laura will enjoy very much, the morality of Time-Turning magic.

Laura: Ooh, yes.

Micah: And how it played a role in this book but kind of disappeared afterwards, and was not a convenient plot device until Cursed Child came along. So first discussion, I titled “Somebody call the wambulance for Snivellus.”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: What is the “wambulance?”

Micah: It’s like the ambulance but for somebody who’s just complaining a lot.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s when you’re going “Wahhh.”

Eric: Oh my God, that’s amazing.

Micah: Snape is having a very productive therapy session with the Minister, but he’s embellishing a little bit in what he is telling him. And I thought we could start out… since we often give Dumbledore a hard time for all of the lies that he tells throughout the course of the Harry Potter series, why not talk about the lies that another character tells?

Andrew: The lies of Severus.

Micah: And Snape actually throws out quite a few in just a very short period of time. He’s telling Fudge that Black had bewitched them, talking about Harry, Ron and Hermione, “I saw it immediately. A Confundus Charm, to judge by their behavior.” We know that to not be true. And we would think, right, Snape is definitely smart enough to know when a Confundus Charm has been used. He’s covering here, is that fair to say?

Eric: Yes. It would not be advisable for him to say that his temper got the better of him and he was going to… basically, that Snape went in there and all he did was escalate, and that’s not going to be on his official report to Fudge.

Micah: The second lie, he says that “They seemed to think there was the possibility he -” Sirius ” – was innocent.” No, they 100% believed him to be innocent. The third lie, “They weren’t responsible for their actions.” No, they were definitely responsible for those actions.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: That’s a point where he is letting one thing slide in order to completely bury them under. Like, “Oh, they didn’t know what they were doing.” But he completely discredits everything that they all say as a result of that, so he’s getting something out of being able to say they weren’t responsible.

Micah: Yeah. And we could talk about this a little bit later on, but I think he’s covering for the fact that he was bested by three 13-year-olds.

Eric: There is that.

Micah: He doesn’t want to make it seem like Harry, Ron, and Hermione could have gotten the better of him. “Of course they were Confunded; there’s no way they could have known what they were doing, Minister.”

Eric: Right, and the way in which he says, “As a matter of fact, it was the children,” and Fudge is like, “No! What?”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: If we’ve seen Snape’s worse memory, this is Snape’s best memory with these children here.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Micah: And the way that he’s conveying…

Andrew: We’ve got a lot of good episode title potential options already.

Laura: I know.

Andrew: “Somebody call the wambulance.” What did Eric just say? Snape’s best memory?

Eric: Snape’s best memory.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Fudge is like, “Oh, Order of Merlin, second class – first class if I can wrangle it!” Like, come on, dude, this is all a cock and bull.

Micah: This next one is debatable but you could fit it into the lie category. He says, “On the other hand, their interference might have permitted Black to escape.” I think that was their intention. Maybe not to escape, but certainly for the truth to come out.

Andrew: And that’s literally what ends up happening. [laughs]

Micah: And the final lie, “They obviously thought they were going to catch Black single-handed.”

Eric: I hate that. That stinks of…

Micah: That’s not why they went after Black in the first place. It was because Ron was injured.

Laura: Right.

Andrew: So Snape has already been through so much with the trio, Harry in particular. Let’s even just set aside the whole Lily angle of it all. He keeps seeing Harry get away with things; he doesn’t like the preferential treatment he gets from Dumbledore. Part of me can see why Snape is frustrated. However, I don’t like all of the lying. And speaking of the preferential treatment, Fudge admits to Snape they’ve all got a “blind spot” when it comes to Harry. They give him a little more leniency because of his background. But I do wonder, what specifically earns that leniency? Because in Snape’s defense, and I still…

Micah: He’s Harry effin’ Potter.

Andrew: Another episode title.

Eric: If it weren’t for Harry, Voldemort would still be reigning and everyone would be subjugated and dead.

Andrew: But where is the line? Because he shouldn’t be able to get away with attacking a teacher. [laughs]

Eric: Well, yeah, that’s the thing. Well, he was Confunded. [laughs]

Laura: I mean, he’s also basically the Messiah character of this book, so of course everybody is treating him like he’s special until they decide that he’s actually a traitor. But that’s a couple books from now.

Eric: Well, now that you mention that, this definitely leads into that. This is the first time I think somebody has taken this tone with Fudge about Harry. Fudge doesn’t know how to handle these accusations that Harry is given special treatment by Dumbledore; that plays into Fudge’s own insecurities about Dumbledore. So I really think that this conversation between Snape and Fudge really sets the scene, not just thematically, but directly leads into Fudge’s thought patterns and influences, the way Fudge treats Harry and Dumbledore in the later books.

Laura: Yeah, I think so. Fudge is someone who blows with the prevailing wind, to be honest with you, so yeah, I think this definitely sets the stage. What were you going to say, Micah?

Micah: Could you say that Snape is taking umbrage with Harry’s actions?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: All right, another episode title: “Snape takes umbrage.”

Andrew: [laughs] People are going to be like, “Wait, what? What book are you guys talking about?”

Micah: That could be a fan fic, too.

Laura: Yeah, I was about to say, I don’t know if we want to make that the episode title.

Eric: Welcome to Wednesday night.

Micah: Yep. No, but I think that’s a really great point that gets raised, though, because of the threads that you can connect to Order of the Phoenix. We see Fudge here being very protective of Harry, but actually, once we get to Order of the Phoenix, it’s very much the opposite of that.

Eric: And let’s be clear, I think Snape really has done well to gloss completely over his own culpability. I think on the one hand, he really did miss every mention of Peter Pettigrew. By the time he got down to the Shrieking Shack, the children were saying that Sirius was innocent or that he needed to be heard out. And Snape, due to his own bias, wasn’t hearing it. But he’s got to own that because Snape is actually calling for Sirius to be deprived of his soul, and so it doesn’t matter, the ignorance. It’s cool that Snape particularly didn’t hear that Peter was still alive at this point, but it doesn’t matter so much because he’s really calling for Black’s death – or worse than – with no real evidence and with a few people saying, “That’s not what happened.”

Micah: Yeah, I agree. He’s very much, as you say, glossing over his own responsibility in much of what has happened already this evening. But it doesn’t stop there; it is officially time… if that wasn’t enough, now you can hear the wambulance getting closer and closer to the infirmary inside of Hogwarts. And Snape goes on to say that “They’ve gotten away with a great deal before now. I’m afraid it’s given them rather high opinions of themselves… and of course, Potter has always been allowed an extraordinary amount of license by the headmaster.” And this is really one of the first times we see Dumbledore being called into question by one of the professors. I don’t know that we’ve seen it happen prior to this. Certainly there’s other characters that have called in his ability to be headmaster into question, but certainly not one of the professors.

Eric: And Snape would not do this if he wasn’t feeling 100% on top of the world right now, right? Because Snape owes Dumbledore a whole heckin’ lot for the life that he currently has. Snape was a Death Eater; Snape would be in Azkaban at the cell right next to Sirius if they knew about betraying the Potters and that kind of thing. So in general, anything less than Snape’s best time of his life right now, and Snape wouldn’t be playing this card. But Snape is driving a wedge between Fudge and Dumbledore for his own personal gain. And that’s the kind of guy he is.

Laura: It’s also interesting, too, thinking about the fact that we know Snape throughout the entire series is sworn to protect Harry, and I wonder how exactly he’s doing that in this scene. I think by giving Fudge the narrative that they were Confunded and they weren’t responsible for their actions, he’s preventing them from being expelled, I suppose. Harry being expelled from Hogwarts is basically like putting a target on his back. It would only be a matter of time, at that point, so maybe that’s what he’s angling for. But in doing all of this, he is again trying to shift the blame for the Potters’ death onto the person who he believes to have betrayed them, even though he played a pretty big role in betraying them himself.

Micah: He just didn’t know it.

Eric: Nobody hates Snape more than Snape himself.

Laura: Right.

Andrew: Aww.

Micah: Well, just while we’re on the topic of the Marauders, what do we think about him in this particular moment, drawing on his feelings towards James and Sirius? Because I think he sees, as we’ve read in the books, a lot of James in Harry, and I think there’s a lot of emotions that are coming up in this moment where he’s seeing the opportunity to take out a lot of what he wanted to take out on James on Harry.

Eric: Absolutely. This is top of mind. He even brings it up when Dumbledore enters. The event that happened so many years ago is still absolutely fresh and he is seething. He wants revenge for what has occurred. Snape is not one to forgive and forget; this man can hold a grudge.

Micah: He also goes on to say that he tries to treat Harry like any other student, which we know is just complete nonsense.

Eric: [laughs] This is a lie. This is Snape’s next lie. Are we still counting those?

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Might as well. This would be number six. So he’s already closing in on Dumbledore, and this is only one chapter.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Eric: Oh man, that’s rough.

Andrew: See, and you thought Dumbledore is bad? Look how fast Snape lays them all down.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Laura: That’s funny.

Micah: That’s why he must be so good with Voldemort.

Eric: That’s right.

Laura: Something that I will say in Dumbledore’s defense here is I don’t think Dumbledore would say something like this. I don’t think that he would claim to treat Harry like he treats any other student. I think Dumbledore absolutely knows and owns that he plays favorites with Harry and with Gryffindor, so it’s an interesting contrast between these two in their treatment of him.

Micah: Definitely. And he goes on to say, “Out of bounds at night, consorting with a werewolf and a murderer, and I have reason to believe he was visiting Hogsmeade illegally.” And to that I say, bro, you should have just stopped at consorting with a murderer. Yeah, you could throw in the werewolf, but by the time you get to Hogsmeade, it’s just like you’re trying to throw a little bit more salt on the wound. It’s like, [in a nasally voice] “Oh, and he was going to Hogsmeade.”

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, who cares?

Micah: Hogsmeade is the least of those offenses on the board.

Eric: Yeah, Fudge is going to be like, “Okay, the werewolf is one thing, but going to Hogsmeade illegally?”

Andrew: Well, I think that’s to the point of just like, look how much he’s scrambling. He’s at the bottom of the barrel here.

Micah: He wants to dump everything out on the table.

Andrew: “And one time he looked at me funny in the hallway!” [fake cries]

Micah: One thing I did want to call attention to, though, is even Fudge is astonished by Snape’s treatment of Hermione. He flat out tells her to shut up in this chapter when she’s trying to explain what happened in the Shrieking Shack, and this goes to our point earlier that I think that Snape is just butthurt that he got bested by three 13-year-olds. The other part of this scene that I thought was pretty cool was this mini Dumbledore/Snape standoff that we have and what it must have felt like for Snape to not be believed, and furthermore, to have Dumbledore send him to quiet time while he talks with Harry and Hermione.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Especially if you think back to the pact that they’ve made. It almost feels like you’re losing the trust of Dumbledore after he says he supposedly trusts you, and you trust each other, and now for Dumbledore to treat you as lesser than the trio… I mean, obviously the other factor here is that the trio are right; Dumbledore does say later in this chapter that he does believe them, he just doesn’t have evidence that can help them. So I can understand where Snape’s frustrations are coming from here, given their history.

Micah: Well, and let’s not forget who the audience is here too. We have Fudge in front of everything that’s going on, and presumably Snape has just really talked poorly about Dumbledore in front of Fudge. So who knows what Dumbledore may or may not have overheard of that conversation?

Eric: Oh there’s that too. Yeah, I mean, Dumbledore still has the ultimate authority here. And that’s very similar to the other ends of other books where Dumbledore shows up and saves the day, and this is the most we get of that in setting in motion the events of telling Hermione to use the Time-Turner, etc., etc. But yeah, not believing Snape is step one… or just shutting Snape down because Snape is going way too far. Dumbledore can clearly see that he’s, at this point, really just motivated by his desire for revenge, and I think that may even help convince Dumbledore of Sirius’s innocence in seeing how much Snape is embellishing here.

Andrew: Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s a good point.

Laura: Oh, that’s a great point.

Andrew: And Snape is also being unfair when he reminds Dumbledore that Sirius tried to kill him as a kid. I mean, people grow up. Really? Do you still really want to hang that over his head?

Eric: And there’s reason to believe he’s been going into Hogsmeade!

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Right. And he looked at me funny!

Eric: Wambulance.

Andrew: And his breath smells.

Eric: Oh, man.

Laura: Snape is one of those adults who still lives in their high school days, I feel. Not letting go of grudges from things that happened 15-20 years ago, still spending so much time ruminating over people that he hasn’t seen in ages… in this case, one person who’s been dead for 13 years. He won’t let it go.

Eric: It doesn’t help that he’s still at Hogwarts, right? So he’s having to… I think a change of scenery, if Snape had been allowed to leave, allowed to really branch out, see the world, be somewhere else… but he can’t because he owes Dumbledore everything.

Andrew: Yeah, how are you going to move on if you’re still in the room where it happened, so to speak? This is such a huge can of worms that we’re opening up right here, though, too.

Eric: I know.

Andrew: Oh my God. Because you do see that in life, to Eric’s point. People are just like, “You know what, I need to get out of this place or else…” Like, god forbid you lose a loved one. People are like, “I can’t live in the same house as where we spent our lives together.” You can’t move on if you’re still in that same space. Maybe people can, but a lot of people can’t and understandably so. And so that’s a great point.

Eric: Now I’m going to draw the comparison between Snape being stunted and Sirius being stunted by his many years in prison. Neither of them have had the opportunity to really emotionally process and move on from themselves as teenagers. And the whole Sirius Black bouncing Snape’s head on the cave wall shows that Sirius has absolutely not matured either.

Micah: No, definitely not.

Andrew: Do we think Snape actually believes Harry and Hermione in the slightest but he just wants to see Sirius suffer? Because that’s ultimately what he wants, right?

Eric: It’s possible, yeah, I think. He’s so close. He feels so close to justice, and he wanted to be the one to catch him. Actually, I think that’s a line strictly for… made for the movie, is “How I wanted to be the one to catch you.”

Laura: Yeah, that’s right.

Eric: That’s him. That’s him.

Laura: Snape gets tunnel vision. When he decides that he has unearthed the truth of something, he falls into a lot of confirmation bias, right? He sees something that he feels confirms what he believes to be true and then that to him is just further evidence. And to him, the evidence is “Well, Sirius tried to kill me when I was at school, he was terrible to me, he bullied me, so he must be a murderer. He must have killed all those Muggles. He must have been responsible for Lily and James dying.” So he’s seeing what he wants to see, which is funny because Harry does the same damn thing sometimes. When he decides that Snape is the perpetrator of something, when he decides that Draco is the perpetrator of something, Harry falls into the same trap.

Eric: Snape is Harry’s father, confirmed.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: Oh no.

Eric: People are pointing out in the Discord that Snape does in the later books really showcase his powers of mental mind-reading, basically. He’s the guy who teaches Harry Occlumency. He’s an accomplished Legilimens. Not to mention nonverbal spells. Snape, the entire time he’s arguing here, could really be searching their minds to figure out if what he’s saying is true or not if he had any interest at all, but that’s using the later books to inform the scene. I don’t even know if the Unforgivable Curses were invented yet at the time this book was written, because if you think about it, saying Harry and Hermione were Confunded? Yeah, that’s one thing, but if they were Imperiused, then that would add to a list of Sirius’s charges because they’re Unforgivable Curses, so that would be an even better lie. Why aren’t you lying more, Snape? But maybe that didn’t exist.

Micah: I think he’s probably also trying to think on his feet a little bit here as well. But I will say, I do think that Snape is almost minimized in the situation with Dumbledore because the way that he says what he does about what happened when they were 16 years old is almost like a child trying to get an adult to believe in what it is that they’re saying. So going back to what you were talking about earlier, with being so stunted, emotionally not having matured, this really shines through in this moment between the two of them.

Eric: Yeah. There’s a saying I heard at one point that I find is relevant, which is “Shouting demonstrates a complete loss of control. Once you’re shouting, you’ve already lost.”

Micah: He does a bit of that. That’s for sure.

Andrew: [laughs] “Hold your tongue,” or whatever he says in all caps.

Eric: Goodness. Poor Hermione. That puts a kink in what Fudge thinks of Snape, too, watching him treat Hermione like that.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, that’s a good point. Not a great look. Not a great look in front of the Minister for Magic.

Eric: He does himself a disservice by going for the gold, or shooting for the moon.

Micah: He’s going to get dropped down to that next tier of Order of Merlin as a result.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Order of Merlin, pissant class.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: Another potential episode title.

Eric: There you go.

Laura: Oh my God.

Micah: Well, just to wrap up this section, Dumbledore talks with Harry and Hermione, and this is when they’re trying… they don’t really have to convince Dumbledore. Dumbledore believes them. But in terms of the ability to convince others of this story, he says, “I have no power to make other men see truth or to overrule the Minister for Magic.” To which I say, except there’s this thing that’s called Veritaserum that you could use in this moment to get the truth out of any number of people that are present. And Eric, you also had a point as well, another device that could be used.

Eric: Yeah, a Pensieve and Veritaserum; these are things that come in Book 4. I was just talking about this, how the Unforgivable Curses, too, may not have been written yet. But these are all… they could have their place in this interrogation. They could have their their place in this sort of execution or what Fudge is… I mean, it could be standard practice to use a Pensieve before…

Micah: And the reason why this all comes to mind is we’re just one book away from this actually playing itself out. It’s literally the same situation but with a different character, where they’re given Veritaserum to spill their beans and then they get the Dementor’s kiss as a result of it. So clearly the author went through with what she wanted to from this book in Goblet of Fire.

Andrew: These are invasive ways to get the truth out, though. I think these are things you should only be using in extreme circumstances. I guess you could argue there’s an important reason to be using one of these here, but it is extreme. Who exactly are we giving Veritaserum to?

Micah: Sirius.

Laura: I mean, it is life and death, effectively, right? How much more serious can you get?

Andrew: Yeah, I know, but he was just in Azkaban and now you’re going to force the truth out of him? I guess he’d be up for it just to make his point, but I don’t know. It’s still… because then if you go down this rabbit hole, what if Snape is standing right there too and throws a question at him as well? It’s very risky. I’m playing devil’s advocate just for fun, but…

Eric: Well, you’re doing a good job. I would say, like Dumbledore sums it up by saying “There’s no evidence. I believe Sirius, but there’s no evidence.” And it’s like, what are you going to do?

Andrew: Right. And Dumbledore actually does bring up a point right before this line about “I have no power to make other men see truth.” Dumbledore said that Sirius had not acted like an innocent man. Some of the cards are stacked against him; he attacked the Fat Lady and he entered Gryffindor tower with a knife. Not a good look when you’re trying to make your case. I know he’s been in Azkaban, so I’m sure that’s a factor. We’ve talked about that throughout the course of this Chapter by Chapter series thus far; that probably did a number on him. But still.

Micah: One thing that also came to mind, too, when Dumbledore had that line, is now that we’ve gotten a chance to at least get a peek inside to the world of Fantastic Beasts and meet Grindelwald, it gave me very much Grindelwald vibes when he says “I have no power to make other men see truth.” I’m wondering if he’s drawing on his past experiences here.

Eric: Ohh. Like, “I regret that I can’t fix everything.”

Laura: That’s an interesting reading.

Micah: So the next discussion is on the morality of Time-Turning magic. Time-Turners clearly play a huge role in this chapter, and then disappear forever minus the Hall of Prophecy in Order of the Phoenix. And I thought it could be fun just to read a little bit from WizardingWorld.com about Time-Turners and I thought we could take turns. I’m happy to go first. Got a nice short paragraph. “According to Professor Saul Croaker, who has spent his entire career in the Department of Mysteries studying Time-Turning magic, this is what he has to say about Time-Turners.

Andrew: “As our investigations currently stand, the longest period that may be relived without the possibility of serious harm to the traveler or to time itself is around five hours. We have been able to encase single Hour-Reversal Charms, which are unstable and benefit from containment in small enchanted hour glasses that may be worn around a witch or wizard’s neck and revolved according to the number of hours the user wishes to relive.”

Eric: “All attempts to travel back further than a few hours have resulted in catastrophic harm to the witch or wizard involved. It was not realized for many years why time travelers over great distances never survived their journeys. All such experiments have been abandoned since 1899, when Eloise Mintumble became trapped for a period of five days in the year 1402.”

Laura: “Now we understand that her body had aged five centuries in its return to the present, and irreparably damaged, she died in St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries shortly after we managed to retrieve her. What is more, her five days in the distant past caused great disturbance to the life paths of all those she met, changing the course of their lives so dramatically that no fewer than 25 of their descendants vanished in the present, having been unborn.”

Andrew: [laughs] Great.

Micah: And it gets even worse from from here. I couldn’t… you know. This is a family show. So to include what else was on WizardingWorld.com is just…

Eric: Oh, yikes.

Andrew: What?

Eric: All right, nobody go to WizardingWorld.com.

Micah: But basically, what this all says is that time travel is extremely, extremely dangerous, and it can cause irreparable harm to present day and the future. Is that fair to say?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yes, to say the least.

Eric: If used as directed, I’m not convinced that it can. So if you just go back five hours, right, you can’t unborn someone. You don’t know about anyone that you unborn if you’re only going back five hours.

Laura: I don’t know. I mean, can you account for every possible scenario in which someone within a certain radius of where you are is conceiving a child at that moment?

Eric: Eh, they’ll go for another one.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: But it would be a different child!

Eric: They don’t know any different! They don’t know because they’re not from the future.

Micah: This could be a whole other episode. We could dive deep…

Eric: Yeah. Okay, okay. Is time travel moral? Well, look at what it does. Look at how it’s used in this book. Sirius Black is going to be wrongfully terminated, Buckbeak is going to be wrongfully terminated, and in this chapter they are both set free. Because they tried to be nice, they tried to do it legally, they tried to convince everybody Buckbeak shouldn’t be dead, and he’s still sentenced to death. And they try to convince everyone of Sirius’s innocence, and it doesn’t work. So they provided justice where there was tremendous injustice. I can’t think of anything more moral than using the Time-Turner.

Andrew: And Dumbledore did give them permission to do so. In fact, he…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: Yeah. It is Dumbledore fault.

Andrew: Yeah. Does that make you feel better if you just blame Dumbledore?

Eric: Yeah.

Micah: You mean God?

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: So here’s the thing, though: I feel like in the grand scheme of the universe, the circumstances in this particular time loop were pretty small on the cosmic scale, right? This was very much told in a self-contained way. I feel like that, combined with this description we just read, really substantiates what we’ve been talking about for I think 100 episodes now, which is that there is only one timeline. In the wizarding world, you don’t have branching timelines. So the fact that you have people who are just unborn, who never exist, and it doesn’t just create a new timeline where they don’t exist… it’s just in the singular timeline. They are no more. That’s really messy, as we’ve talked about in prior episodes, because the logic becomes really difficult to keep up with if you are to use this as a plot device moving forward, which is why I think the author chose not to until she and some playwrights decided to use it again.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Eric: Right.

Micah: What’s interesting there is I do think there’s a distinction between the Time-Turner that Hermione uses and the Time-Turners that are used in Curse Child, because they allow for much more time time travel to happen.

Andrew: But weren’t we wondering back in 2016? Like, “Wait, I thought Time-Turners only go back a few hours? It’s not canon for them to go back years.”

Eric: Well, I’m pretty sure that Albus Severus and Scorpius suffer some trauma. Don’t they collapse after traveling back 20 years both times? Or after coming back to the future?

Micah: Yeah, I mean, let’s not forget they go all the way back to the night that Voldemort killed the Potters.

Eric: Oh, that’s right. Yeah.

Micah: That’s pretty far back.

Eric: Well, you know, it would sell tickets. That’s why they did it.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, it’s great on stage.

Andrew: Exactly. I mean, but you do have to wonder, whose idea was that? Was that actually Rowling’s, or…? I can’t remember the behind-the-scenes info at this point. But didn’t the producers, the writers, come to her first with the pitch and…?

Eric: I think that’s right.

Andrew: I can’t see J.K. Rowling being like, “You know what? It’s time to bring Time-Turners back. It’s been a while; let’s do it.” It was probably their idea, in her defense.

Eric: She was probably like, “No,” and they were probably like, “But people love Time-Turners!” And she was like, “All right.” That’s how I imagine that conversation having gone. Yeah, I don’t know. With the Time-Turner, the whole situation even despite its flaws, I’m so glad it exists because this chapter is one of my favorite chapters of the entire series. It’s a wild ride. Harry is like, “This is the craziest thing we’ve done,” and then you see it. And the thing that I find most important about this chapter is there are still rules, right? So you can’t interact with yourself. And partly because it’s been abused before, there are these rules that Hermione is just casually doling out as the chapter goes on. Harry wants to take the cloak from Snape so that Snape can’t use it to sneak down into the Shrieking Shack, and Hermione is like, “No, you can’t do that.” And so it hurts because at the end of the day, even though they are able to save Buckbeak and Sirius, they aren’t able to right all of the wrongs, right? Pettigrew still gets away, Snape still gets his moment of glory, and it becomes very precarious. So I think this question about the Time-Turners being moral or not, I think it’s even more moral or made more moral by the fact that it’s not a solve-all. There are still consequences. There are still areas in which two people using this will fall short in getting everything they ever wanted. There are unexpected consequences, and so I would argue that the the Time-Turner is value neutral almost.

Micah: But why not use that opportunity to stop Pettigrew? Why is freeing Sirius the moment that they’re allowed to actually alter? Why is that okay?

Eric: That’s a good question.

Micah: But not intervening in what happens when Pettigrew inevitably escapes?

Eric: Because Voldemort needs to come back and because Harry needs him to pay off his life debt.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, it’s probably just as simple as that. [Andrew laughs]

Eric: Yeah, not even from a plot standpoint, but the overall… the stars indicated that Voldemort would come back, so let’s blame it on the centaurs’ way of divining the future.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, I think there are a million different questions that can come out of this particular type of discussion, and maybe we do another episode focused on Time-Turning specifically. But I did want to ask, why entrust a 13-year-old with something as, I’m going to say, dangerous as a Time-Turner? We see that Hermione gets exhausted at one point in this book; I’m sure it happens a lot throughout the course of her third year with all the classes that she’s taking. But what if she accidentally fell asleep when she went back in time? Then she would be probably just as well off as Eloise Mintumble or anybody else who screws with time.

Andrew: So giving it to any child at Hogwarts is a bad decision. I’ll just say that upfront. But if you’re going to give it to any child at Hogwarts, it might as well be Hermione.

Micah: Yeah, I guess.

Andrew: She’s trustworthy. She’s well read. She knows what she’s doing. She can navigate difficult situations, as Dumbledore and McGonagall have already seen in her time at Hogwarts so far. Maybe they’ve got other reasons. Maybe there’s another Time-Turner story about a student at Hogwarts. Do we know for sure she’s the first student to have one at Hogwarts, come to think of it? I mean, maybe there have been experiences before where another student has had a Time-Turner. There must have been other Hermiones at Hogwarts prior to Hermione, and by that I mean students who just want to educate themselves in as many courses as possible.

Laura: I don’t know. I mean, we know it was hard to get, right? McGonagall had to write a whole bunch of letters to the Ministry to get this for Hermione, and presumably that all got started in Chamber of Secrets when Hermione signed up for everything. We do get that in Chamber of Secrets when she notes that she had signed up for all of the classes. So presumably, this was something that took some doing on McGonagall’s part, and she probably had to kind of lead a months long persuasion campaign to make it happen.

Micah: I did want to ask that question: What do we think McGonagall had to do? Did she have to lay her career on the line here?

Eric: I mean, this is one of those things where it immediately falls apart under scrutiny. Because, you know, 13, and for all the points we’re making. Maybe she just thinks it’s really important that Hermione gets a Runes education.

Andrew: But it can’t be that, right? [laughs]

Eric: No, Runes are really important!

Andrew: No, no, but I just… okay, Runes, fine. But does she really need every class that she can possibly take with the assistance of a Time-Turner? No, she’s got seven years at Hogwarts.

Eric: Maybe this was a trial run, like Hermione would have been the first and then if it worked, more students could have been able to learn more.

Andrew: [laughs] Can you imagine?

Eric: Oh God. Yeah, multiple versions of every kid in the Great Hall.

Andrew: More Time-Turners.

Eric: But no, Hallow Wolf in the Discord has a good point, which is going back to Hermione’s full class schedule that she was exhausted from. Hallow Wolf says, “Percy had more OWLs than Hermione,” so it seems like he wouldn’t be able to do that without a Time-Turner. So yeah, again, it goes back to scheduling.

Micah: This raises the question, though, are there other means by which Hermione could have taken these classes? Could she have spent the evenings or the weekends in private tutorial sessions with professors? I’m sure there’s other options that could have been put on the table…

Andrew: Summer school.

Micah: … where they don’t need to risk giving her a Time-Turner in order for her to meet her class obligations. It seems like a huge risk on the part of Dumbledore and McGonagall.

Eric: I agree.

Micah: Because what if it ended up in the wrong hands?

Eric: Yeah, I mean, you could easily see Draco being like, “What’s that necklace, Granger?” and messing with it.

Andrew: [laughs] “Nice necklace, Granger.”

Laura: Right? Because there’s no magic preventing the Time-Turner from being used by someone else; Harry gets to use it in this chapter. So if in one of her stupors, where she’s passed out somewhere…

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Hermione is always in a stupor.

Laura: … somebody had come up to her and taken the Time-Turner… I mean, they take the Time-Turner, she wakes up, and she suddenly has no way to move around in time. She’s stuck, and then somebody else is off playing with the Time-Turner. It makes me wonder if this Time-Turner was like, baby’s first Time-Turner. You know what I mean?

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Like a Fisher Price-ified Time-Turner, not as intense as the real thing.

Micah: Not like, Noble Collection Time-Turner?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, based on the writeup, Time-Turners really only are Hour Reversal Charms encased in an hourglass sort of thing.

Micah: Unless you’re in Cursed Child.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Right. So presumably, you could get a wand, and you could perform an Hour Reversal Charm and go back in time using just your wand, but only an hour.

Laura: And those are apparently really unstable spells, which is why they encase them in the Time-Turners. So it’s probably even more dangerous to do it that way.

Eric: Right, so it’s not that Hermione’s is like a Fisher Price, or less than, that there’s more powerful ones out there. It’s just a very imprecise and dangerous magic period.

Micah: I think that’s fair to say. Now, Dumbledore is playing a bit of God in this situation, as he does through most of the Harry Potter series, let’s be real. But the reason why I say that is he is essentially rewriting history in this moment, and I want to know, what gives him the authority to do that? And how fair is it that he’s entrusting the success of this mission to 13-year-old kids? Why not go back in time with them?

Eric: Oh, that would be fun.

Andrew: [laughs] That would be fun. [imitates Dumbledore] “Ooh, let’s do this thing. This will be fun.”

Laura: I wonder if in this scenario, Dumbledore kind of is God…

Andrew: You’re darn right he is. [laughs]

Laura: … because he already knows what happened, right? Because he was down at Hagrid’s hut during the execution, which we now know never happened. So is he just setting the wheels in motion for what he knows is already going to happen?

Eric: Right.

Andrew: Won’t be the last time he uses that strategy.

Eric: Maybe he’s not playing God at all. Maybe he was genuinely surprised to see Buckbeak escape, and then he realized some trickery was afoot. So he’s just following the script he has been given.

Laura: What came first, the chicken or the egg?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Hard to say.

Micah: All of this stems from the fact that Dumbledore thinks that the Ministry is not going to believe the word of two 13-year-olds. And Lupin also gets thrown into the conversation as well, but Dumbledore mentions that he’s off running around the forest, doing werewolf things, and that generally, the werewolf community is not looked favorably upon by the wizarding community as a whole, not just the Ministry. So what do we make of this? Especially as we start to think maybe a little bit about Order of the Phoenix and some of the other members of the wizarding community that are mistreated. Fair to say the Ministry is a bit shortsighted here; much like it didn’t do the investigation of Sirius back whenever that was, they’re not investigating it appropriately here either.

Eric: It’s one of those systemic issues that you’re never going to 100% solve because people are so flawed.

Andrew: [chants] Fudge needs to go. Fudge is fudging. Fudge needs to go.

Eric: Yeah, I do like to think the world was more just with Kingsley as Minister and later Hermione.

Andrew: I guess if I were to try and defend the Ministry, I would say, “Time is of the essence here. They’ve got to make a move.”

Laura: Yeah, “Let’s commit an execution in a children’s school.”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Absolutely.

Andrew: “There’s no time! We’ve gotta throw the axe down now!”

Micah: Well, they do it in the next book.

Laura: It’s funny because we actually have nothing but time because there’s a freaking Time-Turner here. But yeah, you’re right, Micah, in the next book, they do exactly what they intended to do in this book. And I understand time was of the essence there as well, but do you need to commit something worse than murder on school grounds?

Eric: Yeah, what happened to due process?

Laura: Right. [laughs]

Micah: Well, one other “What if?” I wanted to get in before we wrap up the discussion is, what if it all went wrong?

[“What if?” sound effect plays]

Micah: We’ve touched on this a little bit so far, but who gets blamed and what are the ramifications for misuse of a Time-Turner? We know Hermione has been given permission to use it for classes, but clearly in this situation she’s using it to free a presumed mass murder.

Andrew: I would just say, to defend Hermione and her getting the Time-Turner further, we do see Hermione multiple times strongly tell Harry “We cannot be seen.” And there’s the example that happens, basically as she’s telling Harry this, where Harry wants to grab the Invisibility Cloak so Snape won’t grab it, but then Hermione stops him. And it pays off; it was a good choice by Hermione because Hagrid walks in view of the cloak a moment later. So I see your points. I take your points. It’s a fun scenario to play out. But I also think it’s important just to remember Rowling did try to make the argument for why Hermione could have it and why we wouldn’t even have to worry that it could all go wrong. If it all went wrong, though, I don’t know.

Eric: Yeah, I mean, I hope that there’s some time guardian or something that’s able to go back and set the timeline right, that nobody can really die. But it’s more exciting to hear Hermione be like, “Witches and wizards…”

Micah: Wow, that reminds me of another Zelda game. What was that? Was it Skyward Sword with the time guardians?

Eric: Oh, is there? Well, that’s a common thing, somebody like Dumbledore, who’s all-seeing or can see into other timelines, is preserving the timeline. Oh, Loki. It’s in Loki.

Andrew: Oh yeah. Season 2 coming soon.

Laura: Except Loki has branching timelines, which are a lot more fun and easier, I think, to world-build off of.

Eric: Yay.

Laura: It’s one of the things that frustrates me about time travel in these books. Although I will say, viewing this chapter as self-contained is very fun. It’s a super fun chapter to read, even though if you start pulling the threads a little bit, it all comes apart pretty fast.

Eric: This is a house of cards, but it’s disguised like a Harley Davidson motorbike.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Yeah, I think it’s fair to say that time travel is messy, right? There’s nothing clean about it because so much can go wrong.

Eric: We haven’t even talked about how when Hermione turns the Time-Turner she shows up in the middle of the Entrance Hall. Like, what is that?

Micah: Yeah, that’s something that I wanted to talk about, too, is in the movie, at least, they get it right. They go back in time to the infirmary. But yeah, why did they go there?

Eric: That’s inherently dangerous for her to just be appearing in the middle of the Entrance Hall, considering how many times…

Micah: Is that always where she goes, I wonder?

Eric: Right, because considering how many times she’s done that this year, it’s absurd. There would definitely have been a student or somebody that would see her. Imagine having to explain that. [laughs] Maybe McGonagall has been going around behind corners and Confunding students that have seen Hermione just appear here.

Laura: Would have been a lot less work to just give Hermione independent study for a few off these classes.

Eric: Yeah, anyway.

Laura: [laughs] But for the plot…

Andrew: For the plot!

Micah: This might be a bit of a hot take question…

Andrew: [laughs] I’ve been waiting for this for days.

Micah: And the reason why I ask it maybe is not, Andrew, why you think I’m asking it.

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: But I will ask it. Could J.K. Rowling not come up with a more creative way for Sirius to have escaped? And the reason why I framed it this way was because she’s opening up a huge door, and we’ll get to her comments about Time-Turners, but presumably then anything in the future could be solved with the use of a Time-Turner. And that’s why I said “a more creative way” for Sirius to escape.

Andrew: Okay, I take your point. It was creative for the series at the time because it was new. [laughs]

Eric: We’re talking about, basically, because of how many plot holes it potentially creates, would there have been…?

Andrew: It’s more trouble than it’s worth?

Micah: The solution is just every time, “Oh, get a Time-Turner.”

Eric: Well, that’s why they all get destroyed. It’s great.

Andrew: Allegedly. [laughs]

Eric: Although we still don’t have the answer of how Fred and George Weasley predicted the end of the match of the Quidditch World Cup. That they won the… yeah. I thought that was a Time-Turner kind of a thing, but yeah, it’s definitely a plot hole. But I can’t imagine anything being more creative, though, Micah, to your question. I think it’s the coolest thing ever.

Andrew: I mean, it’s on the cover, too, we have to call out. It’s worth mentioning, since Micah is throwing shade add it, it’s on the US cover.

Laura: Like I said before, I really regard this chapter as being somewhat a self-contained story. Obviously, it’s not; it has implications for the rest of the series. But the way that I choose to take it in is to just enjoy the series of events as they’re laid out based on the breadcrumbs that we’ve been left all year. It’s definitely problematic from a plot perspective; there’s no getting around it. It is still a great chapter, though, and I do have a hard time thinking of something more creative. I’m sure we could. Again, that’s a whole other episode. So if you’ve started taking a shot every time we say that, you’re welcome.

Andrew: [laughs] And we need to update our brainstorming doc with these ideas.

Micah: Well, maybe the question should have been, could JKR have come up with a less plot-holey way for Sirius to escape?

Laura: Probably.

Andrew: Let’s just say this, though: Let’s look at that iconic moment from the cover, right? Buckbeak escapes… well, it’s not on the cover really. Well, I guess it’s sort of…

Eric: Harry and Hermione. The British cover actually has it.

Andrew: Oh, yeah, yeah. So just think of the cinematic moment of Sirius flying on Buckbeak to escape. You needed the Time-Turner to get to that because they had to free Buckbeak as well. So I guess, sure, maybe without Time-Turners they could have broken Buckbeak free themselves or something and still had that cinematic ending, but I think the Time-Turner assisted with leading us to that cinematic climactic ending in which Sirius flies free, if you will, after being imprisoned.

Micah: Well, and so does Buckbeak, right? It’s the two of them together.

Andrew: Right. Well, yeah.

Eric: It’s really the ups and downs that this whole book has been doing. You get completely turned around thinking Sirius Black is the bad guy, then he’s the good guy, then you think Harry is going to live with him, then you think, “Oh my God, Pettigrew is escaping, all is lost.” And even though it’s not the happiest ending for this book, this chapter really shows you that it is going to be a happy ending book. It is going to be a slightly less happy ending, but the guy that you wanted to go free does get to go free. And that feels right. That feels like justice. But anything less than the Time-Turner confusion, going back, being constantly caught off-guard, would be ultimately, I think, less satisfying than what was in the book.

Micah: All right, you convinced me.

Eric: Hey, cool. I win the debate.

Micah: And I really didn’t think about it in the way of just the symbolism of the two unjustly accused escaping with each other at the end of the book.

Andrew: Freedom!

Micah: And plus they have each other now. Sirius isn’t alone. But just to wrap things up, we’ve been talking about this a little bit in that, was it going to be a possibility that J.K. Rowling was planning to use Time-Turners later on in the series but just ended up thinking better of it? And she did say that she went far too lightheartedly into the subject of time travel in Prisoner of Azkaban. “While I do not regret it, (Prisoner of Azkaban is one of my favorite books in the series), it opened up a vast number of problems for me, because after all, if wizards could go back and undo problems, where were my future plots? I solved the problem to my own satisfaction in stages. Firstly, I had Dumbledore and Hermione emphasize how dangerous it would be to be seen in the past, to remind the reader that there might be unforeseen and dangerous consequences as well as solutions in time travel. Secondly, I had Hermione give back the only Time-Turner ever to enter Hogwarts.” So that answers your question from earlier, Andrew, if there was anybody who used it previously. “Thirdly, I smashed all remaining Time-Turners during the battle in the Department of Mysteries, removing the possibility of reliving even short periods in the future.” I guess she didn’t know about Cursed Child at that time. “This is just one example of the ways in which, when writing fantasy novels, one must be careful what one invents. For every benefit, there’s usually a drawback.”

Andrew: Well, it’s very convenient to say “the only Time-Turner, by the way, ever to enter Hogwarts.” Was that ever in the books? Because otherwise, you have to be cautious with taking that at face value. She could have conveniently made that canon when writing this [laughs] just to cover her bases further.

Eric: Oh, that’s funny. The work continues to…

Andrew: Right, exactly. She’s continuing to cover over the plot holes. [laughs]

Eric: Listen, even in 1999 or whatever she didn’t believe that people will be reading this so closely 25 years later.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s a valid point.

Micah: Fair point.

Andrew: Can you imagine our own work being torn to pieces like Harry Potter or any other popular book is?

Laura: True.

Eric: I can; it’s getting close to that. But yeah, you’re right. It shouldn’t be.

Andrew: It’s like, we get emails from people, and of course we love the emails, but people point out when we make mistakes. I mean, that’s basically what happens when you’re the author as well on a much, much larger scale.

Micah: We never make mistakes.

Laura: Yeah, we criticize because we love.

Andrew: [laughs] I feel like we’ve gotten better for sure. But I feel like we used to get a lot more emails about mistakes.

Micah: Look, we’re human. We make mistakes. It happens.

Andrew: Yes. Yep, you’re right. We’re not perfect. Nobody’s perfect, in the words of Miley Cyrus. Hannah Montana, sorry.

Micah: Anything else on this chapter before we go to odds and ends? I know we didn’t go through the plot step by step. But anything we might’ve…?

Andrew: We already did. Ha, ha, ha! The backing up in time… okay, never mind.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: That’s funny.

Eric: It’s just really nice that Harry has the touching moment with the stag Patronus, and coming to the realization that it was him that sent the Patronus. And it’s funny that the reason he can do it is because he did it before, but really, that’s the coming-of-age part that everyone talks about that then became, in the movie adaptation, Harry fiddling with himself under the sheets when the movie opens. The reason this is a coming-of age-book is because of that moment with him and his dad, that wholesome moment where he realizes his father is gone, even though he’s been reintroduced to all of these friends that ran around. Again, it’s not that perfect happy ending. It’s a less than perfect happy ending. And the version of James that Harry has is the Patronus part that lives inside him, so that really is just the crucial, I think, moment where Harry comes of age and realizes that although he can be surprised by the past, the future is equally, I guess, hopeful as it is the opposite.

Micah: And I think it was nice to see the final Marauder included in the story as well. We’ve spent so much time with Remus throughout this book, then we get Sirius, then we get Pettigrew, but we don’t really get James. And there’s that hope – and I think there were fan theories for a long time – that perhaps if all these Marauders are alive, especially Pettigrew, perhaps James is alive as well in some way, shape, or form. And the other really touching moment of this chapter is the fact that Harry is willing to confide that to Hermione when they’re having that conversation. He’s letting his guard down a bit and saying, “Yeah, I actually thought it was my dad.” And I think you only do that with somebody who you consider to be a real true friend.


Odds & Ends


Micah: Time for some odds and ends. First one, when Harry looks over at Hermione in the hospital wing, it’s noted that she looked “petrified,” which I thought was a nice Chamber of Secrets throwback because she was Petrified in the same spot just one book earlier.

Eric: I like that Harry looks over and she’s just like, “Shh, we’re both listening in, this is crazy.”

Micah: It’s noted that Sirius is in the 13th window from the right of the west tower, seventh floor. So if you are the first to escape out of the 13th window, you are the first to die. That’s the other not as well-known Trelawney-ism.

Eric: [laughs] I love that. That’s great.

Micah: And best of all, drunk Hagrid is back.

Eric: Yeah! That should be the episode title.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Well, and one of my favorite lines, definitely in this chapter – I think they brought it over to the movie as well.

Micah: It’s in the movie.

Andrew: Yeah, okay. I love how Dumbledore quickly gives up on trying to find Buckbeak and instead asks Hagrid for tea or brandy.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I just think that’s so great. And now he’s just in don’t-give-a-bleep mode. He’s just like, “Well, that was that! That was fun.”

Eric: “What can you do?”

Laura: I do love it. And I loved Michael Gambon’s portrayal in these moments.

Andrew: I do too.

Laura: I felt like he really captured Dumbledore at this point in the series.

Andrew: Yes. And also in this movie when he says, “Three or four turns should do it. Good luck,” and then he goes behind the doors, I thought that was a great moment by Michael Gambon as well.

Micah: And when they come back, they’re like, “We did it,” and he’s like, “Did what?” And he just walks away.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: That was great.

Andrew: And all this Time-Turner talk, it’s got me thinking about a date I went on about 11 years ago now. I may have told this on the show or maybe on Millennial at one point. I was going on this date with this guy in Los Angeles. And he knew I was doing… I have my Harry Potter background, and he shows up to the date wearing a Time-Turner because of my Harry

Laura: Aww, that’s very sweet.

Micah: Just the Time-Turner?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: You guys, stop it.

Micah: Yeah, the little Noble Collection necklace and that was it?

Andrew: No, Micah, I’ve only seen you wearing nothing but a Time-Turner.

Micah: It’s true.

Andrew: So anyway, we go on the date. I’m very touched by this little touch, his little accessory. It didn’t work out because I started learning a little more about him; let’s just say I was a little concerned for my safety if things didn’t work out. [laughs]

Eric: Yikes! All right.

Micah: I’m just letting you know, for reference, you did say that you were “touched by his little accessory.”

Andrew: Trust me, that went through my head when I said that too, okay? I’m talking about the Time-Turner.

Laura: I wasn’t going to say anything.

Andrew: I really need the music this week to bail out of certain scenarios.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Micah: Are you sure you want to do weeknight recordings?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Not anymore.

Andrew: I think this is fun.

Micah: This is fun.

Laura: It’s going to be unhinged.

Andrew: All right, it’s time for MVP of the week. [laughs]


MVP of the Week


[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: Maybe I should call an audible and say I’m going to give it to Hermione’s little accessory.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: There you go. We’ll let you do that.

Andrew: Okay, I’m giving it to Hermione’s Time-Turner. I love that little accessory.

Eric: I’m going to give it to Dumbledore for the way he handles Snape. He’s playing with some serious fire here, and it works.

Micah: I like that play on words.

Laura: I do like it. Speaking of, I’m going to give mine to Sirius. Let’s think about the events of this chapter from his point of view, particularly at the end. They’re all unconscious. They get brought up to Hogwarts on stretchers. Presumably, he wakes up in this classroom, up on the seventh floor, doesn’t know why he’s been brought there, doesn’t know where everyone else is. And all of a sudden, he sees his godson and one of his best friends on a hippogriff outside the window, and he doesn’t pause. He’s like, “All right.”

[Eric laughs]

Laura: So I’m going to give it to him for recognizing, “This might be a little shifty, but I know what’s waiting for me on the other side of that door…”

Eric: Time to get out of Dodge.

Laura: “… I’m going to jump out the window.”

Micah: I gotta give it to Buckbeak. He was very well-behaved in this chapter. If he ran off, the whole plan would have been just completely screwed.

Andrew: All right.

Micah: There are moments where he wants to run up to Hagrid, and he saves the day at the end. I mean, to Laura, your point, Sirius can get away now. They can become really good friends somewhere off in the… where do they go? The mountains? The forest? Hogsmeade?

Eric: They’re around.

Laura: Yeah, they’re in a cave for a while, right?

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Andrew: Oh yeah, that sounds right. All right, well, next week will be the final chapter in our Prisoner of Azkaban Chapter by Chapter series, Chapter 22, “Owl Post Again.” Did you three know that’s it’s only been a year since we started Chapter by Chapter?

Eric: What?

Andrew: I saw it come up in my iPhone memories this week. Our first… and I’m talking Book 1. We started Book 1 September 13, 2022. It feels like so much longer.

Eric: It really does. Wow.

Andrew: [laughs] We move too fast with that first book. That’s my takeaway.

Laura: Yeah, moving back to one chapter a week was the move.

Andrew: And of course, Book 4 is very large, so it might take us a year to get through it, especially if we’re doing other episodes.

Eric: I’m really excited for Book 4.

Andrew: Well, speaking of Book 4, we have some exciting news, I think, for everybody. Before we start Goblet of Fire Chapter by Chapter, we will be doing – drumroll please – for the first time ever, a Goblet of Fire movie commentary. Woop woop!

Laura: I’m so excited for this. I haven’t seen this movie in a long time.

Andrew: Me neither. I’ve been growing my hair in anticipation for watching this movie with all the long-haired kids in that motion picture.

Eric: It’s time to announce that that’s why my hair has been growing long as well.

Andrew: It’s all making sense now. So yeah, we actually did do a Prisoner of Azkaban movie commentary, and we thought about doing it again, but it was just back in May 2021 that we did that. It’s only about two years ago.

Eric: It’s all current. Same people, same opinions. It has not changed at all.

Andrew: Exactly, exactly. So after we do Goblet of Fire, we will have still Chamber of Secrets to do and Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows – Part 1. So we still have some to work through, and we will get there because just like we’re enjoying doing this complete Chapter by Chapter series, we would love to do all the movie commentaries. We have to.

Eric: Absolutely.

Andrew: How have the MuggleCasters not done every movie at this point?

Eric: We’re completionists multiple times over.

Micah: This movie quite possibly has the worst scene in all of the Harry Potter films.

Eric: [intensely and angrily] “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? Did you ask another student to do it for you?”

Andrew: Everybody automatically knows what you’re talking about when you say that.

Micah: It rivals the “He was their friend.” I don’t do that very well.

Eric: No, it’s worse because it’s coming from an adult.

Laura: Yeah, no, you gotta shout that.

Andrew: Well, I think in light of that being such a huge meme and huge part of the Harry Potter fandom, maybe we should all have a shot ready for that scene and we take the shot when…

Laura: Yeah, I’m down.

Andrew: Okay. I didn’t have to convince them. I couldn’t even get through that sentence.

Laura: No! Are you kidding me? I’m always ready.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: We need to take a shot from a goblet.

Andrew: Ooh, now you’re talking. I used to have a goblet from the Noble Collection.

Eric: That’s a waste of… because then you got to wash the goblet, if you just put a little bit of something in it. [laughs]

Micah: I’m sure Target has some we can get before we do our commentary.

Andrew: It’s worth it for the pod.

Micah: It is.

Andrew: But we thought it would be a great idea to refresh ourselves on this movie because of course, when we’re doing Chapter by Chapter, we talk about the movie from time to time. So this will be a great introduction.

Eric: Yeah, I love the idea of watching the movie first as a primer because we’ll reference it. Obviously, the book is much more complicated. And not to spoil the next week interim between Books 3 and 4, but Book 3, I’ve said it forever, is my favorite book in the series. Book 4, when I first read it, I asked myself at the end of it, “Is this book, my new favorite? Do I like it more than 3?” And my answer was yes. So there’s a possibility that Book 4, as we go through it, might usurp Book 3 for me because I’m trying to stay true to the original 14-year-old that read this.

Andrew: Aww. Well, I hope it lives up to…

Eric: That’s sort of a personal life update. [laughs] I don’t know if that was actually interesting at all.

Andrew: No, it was, but we can we can definitely talk about that more, too, at the beginning of Chapter by Chapter. The first time we read it. I definitely have fond memories getting Goblet of Fire because that was the first midnight release I attended.

Eric: Oh yeah, that’ll be a whole thing.

Andrew: If you have any feedback about today’s episode or the chapters ahead, you can send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com, or you can use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. You can also send a voice message; just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file. Or you can use our phone number, which is 1-920-3MUGGLE, that’s 1-920-368-4453. And now it’s time for Quizzitch.


Quizzitch


[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s Quizzitch question, how old was Sirius Black when he played the trick on Snape with Lupin? The correct answer was 16. Correct answers were submitted by 10-year-old Laura, the Master of the Universe; Accio 12 bagels; Beaky for life; Chocolate chip Dumbledough; Defend Dumbledore; Dock hooper; Elizabeth K.; Fantastic Beasts is amazing but isn’t happening; For 10 minutes Snape has a very magical object in his grubby mitts and doesn’t quite seem to realize it; Something smart and witty that I cannot think of; Sour grapes Snape; Luke the 11-year-old… let’s see… Ally the 25-year-old; love people are giving us their names. Lost sugar quill abrew; Towels enough effing towels; Wolfstar, Dadfoot, and Moomie? And Wolf Starbucks for the win; and many more, including, somebody sent the very first Quizzitch snswer song lyric filk. They sent an entire song as their Quizzitch answer, and maybe I’ll read it after that episode ends. Or sing it. But shout-out to Hippogriff rider 2000. Next week’s Quizzitch question: At the end of term, who arrives to see Lupin after Harry does? Submit your answer to us on the MuggleCast website, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav if you’re already on our website. We know how many of you have it bookmarked.

[Quizzitch music ends]

Andrew: If you’re an Apple Podcasts user, for just $2.99 a month you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcasts app. Patreon does offer more benefits, but if you’d prefer to support us right within the Apple Podcasts app, we know it’s nice and easy because you already have your credit card there. The offer is there, and you can just tap into the show and you’ll see the subscribe button, Plus a free trial is available and annual subscription is available as well. We also have a free trial and annual subscription on our Patreon, and you get a lot more benefits there. Don’t forget now is the time to pledge to gain access to the MuggleCast collector’s club. You will also need to fill out a form to let us know you want to receive the stickers and the backing card. And speaking of Patreon, those of you who use Spotify, you can now tap into the show and you can easily access our Patreon. And then you can actually get our bonus audio content. we do two bonus MuggleCast installments a month we also post ad free MuggleCast and early access to MuggleCast within Patreon, you can get all those audio benefits right within Spotify now. nice and easy. We’re very excited that they added that. and don’t forget to follow us on social media. We are @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads. Thanks everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: Bye everyone.

Laura: Bye.

Transcript #625

 

MuggleCast 625 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #625, MuggleCast LIVE from LeakyCon 2023


Andrew Sims: Hey, everybody. This week’s episode was recorded live from LeakyCon, and we think it’s a really fun episode, so we hope that you enjoy it. Just a quick note, the first few minutes of the show were recorded on one of our laptops, and then the audio switches over to LeakyCon’s soundboard. So after those first few minutes, it’ll sound much more clear. We only can attend events like LeakyCon thanks to listener support, so thank you to everyone who supports us on Apple Podcasts and Patreon. If you like what we do and have a little extra money to support us, we would really appreciate you pledging at Patreon.com/MuggleCast to help us run the show. We will hook you up with lots of great benefits in return, including bonus MuggleCast episodes, ad-free episodes, early releases, and much more. We’ll be back to Chapter by Chapter next week. For now, here’s MuggleCast live at LeakyCon with Micah, Eric, and Chloé.


MuggleCast Live at LeakyCon 2023


Eric Scull: Hello, everybody. Oh.

Micah Tannenbaum: Press the button.

[Chloé laughs]

Micah: It’s only the fourth one we’ve done.

Eric: You ever have that thing as a podcaster where you’re not recording and you don’t find out until after?

Micah: Yeah, Andrew loves that.

Chloé Laverson: Eric has had so many himbo moments this weekend. It has been epic.

Eric: Might as well just call me Ken. Hello, LeakyCon 2023!

[Audience cheers]

Eric: We’re so thrilled to be here in Chicago. Very difficult trek for me because I’m local. But we’re thrilled to be here, aren’t we? I’m Eric Scull. Let me let my fellow hosts introduce themselves.

Micah: I’m Andrew Sims.

[Audience laughs]

Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Chloé: I’m Laura T. [laughs] No, I’m Chloé, for those who don’t know me. I’m the social media manager, and sometimes I have the absolute privilege of being on the podcast with these lovely goofs.

Eric: We are here today celebrating a very, very, very big birthday. A long time ago, in this galaxy, Micah Tannenbaum was born this month.

Chloé: Woo!

[Audience cheers]

Eric: Celebrating a birthday, Micah. We have a little birthday cake, something special that we thought we’d surprise you with.

Micah: Aww, you guys.

Chloé: Okay, I’m going to do my absolute best not to drop this, but show everyone how beautiful it is. Can everyone see?

Eric: It says “Happee birthdae, Micah.”

Micah: Thank you.

Chloé: Happy birthday, Micah. We love you. We worked really hard on this cake this morning.

Micah: It looks really good.

Eric: We really did. It’s going to be… it’s red velvet, I hope you like that.

Micah: So you didn’t go get cough drops.

[Audience laughs]

Chloé: No, we conspired against you.

Eric: I got them in the end. Meg brought the cough drops, so I’m in good shape.

[Chloé laughs]

Eric: Which I’m popping right now. Anyway, MuggleCast also celebrates a birthday this month because in fact… what date is it? What year is it?

Chloé: Anyone know the date? August 5.

Eric: Two days from now is our 18th birthday.

[Audience cheers]

Eric: That’s right. We’re old.

Chloé: You’re old.

Micah: Very old.

[Chloé laughs]

Eric: Who’s old?

Micah: We’re old.

Eric: Yeah, yeah. Well, we’ve been doing this show for now 18 years, which is just unbelievable to me.

Chloé: And you’ve just gotten better with age.

Eric: Aww.

Chloé: Right, you guys?

Micah: See, she came back around with a compliment.

Eric: I remember… we’d like to talk just for a second at the top of the show about how we first got connected to MuggleCast. A lot of the original hosts had been contributing to MuggleNet.com, which was the world’s number one Harry Potter fan site. And that’s not propaganda; it’s true. It really just was the biggest site. And I contributed to the weekly caption contest, taking still frames from the movies. And I had a friendship with Ben and some of the other guys, and when it came time to do Episode 3 of MuggleCast, which was a few weeks after…

Chloé: Your debut.

Eric: … Ben called me up and he said, “Hey, we’re missing somebody for a show, for a podcast, and can you record?” I said, “Sure, what do I need?” He said, “A headset, and you need to download Skype,” and I said, “What’s a Skype?”

[Audience laughs]

Eric: And the rest is history. I had such a fun time and they kept letting me come back.

Chloé: Skype is vintage now.

Eric: Yeah, outmoded. Zoom has taken over.

Micah: Well, I remember when we all wanted to talk on the earlier episodes, we usually just typed a little period in and sent it through on Skype to let the other person know because it’s not like now where you have Zoom and you’re able to see and tell when other people want to speak.

Chloé: I feel like that might help still, some episodes. [laughs] We’re all just talking on top of each other.

Eric: Andrew edits that out in post, it’s totally fine. No, but little things like that, figuring out… we were new to podcasting because podcasting was new. In fact, just about a month after the show debuted, Steve Jobs did his big Apple Keynote where he introduced the search function of the iTunes library that then included audiobooks, podcasts, etc. And MuggleCast – there’s video of this – MuggleCast showed up on the screen at his Keynote.

Chloé: Didn’t MuggleCast invent podcasting? We invented podcasting, right?

Eric: Did we? Well, we wrote the Harry Potter books, and then we were like, “We’ve got to turn this into a podcast.”

[Audience laughs]

Chloé: Aren’t you so glad that MuggleCast wrote the Harry Potter books? [laughs]

Eric: Amazing. But Micah, how did you get started? What’s your sort of origin story here?

Micah: Yeah, so I had listened, actually, to the first episode of MuggleCast, and I offered to do some kind of news for them and… I don’t know. It’s all kind of a blur, honestly. I reached out to… I think it was Kevin Steck, initially, on Instant Messenger, and then he put me in touch with Andrew, and then I was… in those days, too, you waited, kind of like now with text where you wait to hear back from people. I was sitting there very eagerly waiting to hear back from Andrew, and one thing just led to another. I started out doing the news segment on MuggleCast.

Eric: Does anybody listening now remember Micah’s pre-recorded news segments?

Chloé: Nice.

Eric: Recorded in the News Center in New York.

Micah: Yeah. And then he just offered, “Come on an episode.”

Chloé: Wait, I have a really, really important question that I don’t know if I know or listeners know. What was your handle? Your AIM handle?

Micah: MJTbaum.

Chloé: Oh, it’s the same thing now.

Eric: He’s changed it up exactly zero times.

Chloé: The consistency, we love it.

Micah: It wasn’t cool like SiriusBlack423.

Eric: It was not that…

Chloé: PhoenixWrath is Laura’s, I’m pretty sure.

Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah. I think 88. I think with an 88. Did you ever have an AIM screen name?

Chloé: I did, actually. OrangePopsicle18. No, you know what it was? It was my Webkinz username. I don’t know if anyone knows what that is, but I just used the same thing. So I did have one, yes.

Eric: OrangePopsicle18? That’s so sweet.

Chloé: I mean, you know me. It’s whatever.

Eric: Yeah, you’re such a popsicle. No, but Chloé… okay, so obviously, Chloé, you found the show at some point because you have had this progression into our amazing accomplished Social Media Manager. But how did you first come about MuggleCast?

Chloé: Yeah, I’m kind of a fraud. And I’ve talked about this before, so…

Micah: Knew it.

Chloé: Are we fighting already? It’s literally only what, five minutes into…?

Micah: Six minutes, 47 seconds in.

Eric: I’m going to have to keep you two apart.

Chloé: Micah and I are all love but sometimes we feud on the pod. [laughs] I found y’all during the pandemic; I think quite a few people have that story. I was bored and alone and sad and in desperate need of some Harry Potter friends, which is maybe how we all find Harry Potter podcasts or media. And I listened for about six months, and the day I joined the Patreon – and I’m not kidding, so I believe it’s fate or that I manifested y’all into my life – but you posted the Social Media Manager hiring job the day I joined, and that’s what I studied. And I was like, “You know what? Eff it, let’s do it.” So I emailed Andrew a resume that I put in Slytherin colors, and I themed it. My resume is usually pink, for those who know me.

Eric: You sure it’s not orange, Miss OrangePopsicle?

Chloé: [laughs] Whatever. And I found the social media posting, y’all hired me, and we became friends. And I love each of you so much individually. And it’s been almost two years of us together. And I mean, I think I think I bring something special, a little sparkle. Definitely bring the average age down.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: I’d like to report a murder.

Micah: Well, don’t you actually have a confession? You were telling us about…

Chloé: Oh my God, Micah, no.

Micah: You should let the rest of the group here know. You didn’t find MuggleCast just a couple of years ago, did you?

Chloé: Don’t look at me. Okay, so did anyone have that hot pink iPod Nano that you could download music to? I mean, everyone had an iPod.

Eric: Was there a tiny little scroll wheel? Like a tiny, tiny one?

Chloé: Yes. And I may have downloaded an episode of MuggleCast in 2007, and…

Micah: When you were five?

[Audience laughs]

Chloé: I was eight.

Micah: Oh, okay.

Chloé: So I did know apparently about MuggleCast. I guess I didn’t like the episode enough to keep listening. [laughs] But I’m here now, and I’m so, so blessed for this community and what it’s brought into my life. And all of you have been so welcoming, even though I’m kind of a newbie. Y’all have been here for 18 years, some of you, and I’ve only been here for two, but thank you for accepting me and being so wonderful. I really appreciate it.

Eric: Absolutely. We mustn’t have been…

Chloé: Y’all are fine. I’m talking about the listeners. [laughs]

Eric: No, but also Micah and I mustn’t have been on that first episode. Yeah, we probably just weren’t on that one that you listened to a long time ago.

Chloé: I wonder, if I had heard Micah’s voice I might have stayed on.

[Audience laughs]

Chloé: I’m wondering who was on it. I’ll look.

Eric: So we actually have a variety of fun segments planned as well as actual other discussion other than how old we are, but the first game inevitably is also about how old we are. We’re going to play this with the audience. So there’s there’s no prizes – we will warm everybody up – there will be prizes later. We promise.

Chloé: Oh, I was like, “Wait, no, there are prizes.” Later.

Eric: There are prizes; they’re in a box on stage. And if you brought your own…

Micah: I’m just going to go eat the cake while you guys do the rest of…

Chloé: Yeah, for you, babe. Here.

Micah: See you guys later.

[Chloé laughs]

Eric: Okay, do you have a cake cutter? Anyway, the first game that we’re going to play with you all is called “Is MuggleCast older than?” And we have a list of things we’re going to go through. And we want to hear, audience, just general shouts, yes, no. “Is MuggleCast older than?” This is going to go real quick, but it’ll be really fun.

Chloé: It’s a test. You will be graded.

Eric: We’re not leaving until everyone in this room feels old. Or feels how old we feel.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Well, two of us.

Eric: Yes, two of us. Right. So Chloé, would you like to go first?

Chloé: “Tik Tok” by Kesha. Are we older than the song “Tik Tok” by Kesha?

Audience: Yes.

Chloé: Okay, yes, 2009. An anthem for young women everywhere, truly.

Eric: Okay. Next, Micah.

Micah: The iPhone.

Audience: Yes.

Chloé: Oh my God. They’re so smart.

Micah: They’re on it.

Eric: They’re really good.

Chloé: We were shocked. We were looking this stuff up and we were like, “No, unbelievable.”

Eric: We’re not talking about the XS, the 3G… the original iPhone came out two years…

Chloé: I’m sorry, it looks like an adult site now. Why aren’t we talking about that? Twitter? I’m so annoyed.

Eric: Oh, well… you stole my thunder. That was going to be…

Chloé: Oh, sorry, sorry.

Eric: So back before X… Twitter, not the letter X. We are not older than the letter X, okay?

[Audience laughs]

Eric: That’s not on here, though. But Twitter debuted to the world… are we older than Twitter?

Audience: Yes.

Eric: Yeah, we’re actually… flawless victory, you guys. This is crazy.

Micah: Yeah, this is impressive.

Eric: Yes. Twitter actually came out the year after we started. It came out 2006.

Chloé: So we don’t get political, usually…

Micah: That’s the other show.

Chloé: … but my favorite presidency, the Obama presidency. Are we older than Barack Obama’s presidency?

Audience: Yes.

Eric: Okay, you know your history. We didn’t really mean to lead with all these yeses. Maybe they’re all yes, and that’s the joke.

[Chloé and Micah laugh]

Chloé: You are so old.

Eric: We are older than all this stuff!

Micah: So we’ve existed through four presidential administrations? Or three-ish, depending on how you…

Chloé: Existed or survived, right?

Micah: The last one doesn’t really count.

Eric: Okay, Micah, the next one is you.

Micah: Chloé. Are we older than Chloé?

Audience: No.

Micah: Yeah, we kind of already gave that one away.

Eric: Everybody’s real astute.

Chloé: I was born in the 90s, you guys. Come on.

Eric: I still find that so hard to believe. But you know how to TikTok! How does that…? That doesn’t equate to me. Okay. Here’s one: Shrek 2 and The Incredibles. Are we older than…?

[Audience murmurs]

Chloé: They did come out the same year? Amazing year for cinema.

Eric: Okay, okay, we finally have a contentious thing. Who thinks that yes, we are older than The Incredibles and Shrek 2? Yes, shout it.

Audience: Yes.

Eric: Okay, and who thinks we are not older than The Incredibles and Shrek 2?

Audience: No.

Eric: Okay, no actually wins. It is no. Those movies came out in 2004.

Chloé: When movies were good. [laughs] Do you all remember the iconic moment of pop culture history when Britney Spears shaved her head?

Audience: Yes!

Chloé: We were all collectively a part of that. Are we older than that moment?

Audience: Yes.

Chloé: Yes. 2007, an iconic year for Y2K stars.

Micah: I should have brought my glasses. Are we are we older than Taylor Swift’s debut album?

Eric: Let me think about this. It was self-titled, right?

Chloé: Taylor Swift by Taylor Swift. Debut.

Eric: Okay, so who thinks we are older than Taylor Swift’s debut album?

Audience: Yes.

Eric: And who thinks we are not older than Taylor Swift’s debut album?

Audience: No.

Chloé: Okay, this was a test for the real Swifties. We are older than Debut by 14 months.

Eric: All right, and here’s the last one. And this is for fellow sci-fi/fantasy fans. Is MuggleCast older than David Tennant as Doctor Who?

[Audience murmurs]

Eric: Do we have somebody who wants to talk about why we we’re not, or…?

Audience member: It was early 2000s.

Chloé: Aren’t we early 2000s too?

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Okay, let’s see. Okay, okay. So who thinks, yes, we are older than David Tennant as Doctor Who?

Audience: Yes.

Eric: And who thinks no, we are not older than David Tennant as Doctor Who?

[Audience murmurs]

Eric: We are actually not older. David Tennant as Doctor Who regenerated in June of 2005 from Christopher Eccleston. We started in August. But you’d be forgiven for not knowing that all he had was one line of dialogue on that episode. He said, “Hello. Okay. New teeth. That’s weird. So where was I? Oh, right. Barcelona!”

Chloé: He put that in just so he could do that joke.

Eric: Just so I could try and do a David Tennant…

Chloé: Was that obvious?

Eric: I’m trying to rep the Brits on this podcast. Thank you all for playing that game. The other games have prizes. [laughs]

Chloé: We have one more question to tie back to Harry Potter, the reason why we’re all here. What book came out right before MuggleCast premiered? You can just shout it.

Audience: Half-Blood Prince.

Eric: We had some… Okay, some said 5? Some said 6?

Audience: 6.

Eric: We debuted right after the premiere of Book 6. That was in July of 2005. We started in August, so that actually was the inciting incident, I want to say. The first 100 episodes of MuggleCast existed in the… and it was so wonderful that it stopped at 100, the night before we got the seventh book. But it existed in that space of “We do not know what is going to happen. How is the series going to end? Who’s going to fall in love?” All that nonsense.

Chloé: I think that year was the year that I actually picked up the series.

Eric: Really!

Chloé: Yeah, I think I picked up the Harry Potter series in 2005, so the same year MuggleCast came out, because I know that 7 was my first midnight release. Way too young. But it was the first one I went to. [laughs] Borders did exist. I mean, if that makes you feel better. I went to Barnes and Noble.

Eric: Wait, so you might have actually found Harry Potter before Micah did?

Micah: Yeah, it’s possible. I’m not going to confess to that in front of a live studio audience.

Eric: I know, we’re in a room of super fans here.

Micah: I’m not going to make it out of the room alive.

Eric: We’ll protect you; you’re the birthday boy. You have protection, yeah. Okay, so next thing we wanted to ask… because we’ve been around for a while, we just wanted to talk a bit about what our favorite moments were from making the show what maybe surprised us from the history of MuggleCast.

Micah: I’ve talked about this a little bit earlier, but David Heyman, getting an opportunity to interview him on Episode 200 with you was probably one of the highlights of the show, no question. Just an amazing person to get the opportunity to speak to loves the series. He was only supposed to spend maybe 15 minutes with us and he spent close to 45.

Eric: And the reason it was such a great interview, too, like you said, but also as a get: He was the man most responsible for the fact that the Harry Potter books became the films, first getting the rights right when the books were coming out. He saw the potential and also saw it through, and that’s just absolutely beautiful. It felt like coming home, speaking with him on that.

Micah: And we got to play the Dueling Club with him, which we’re going to play actually in just a little bit with some people here in the audience.

Eric: Yeah, a nice little shout-out to that fun fan favorite segment, if we remember that. But yeah, David Heyman coming on. And again, I got into the Harry Potter series because of the first movie, so that felt like being able to thank the guy that made it possible, so that was really good. I want to go to Chloé next, actually.

Chloé: Oh, me next. You know what, last night has been my favorite moment from making the show. First of all, I love these men, and I love Andrew and Laura and Pam as well; they have brought so much joy into my life, and friendship and mentorship, and I’m eternally grateful. So probably yes, the people. But last night, getting to talk to y’all at our meetup and become friends and learn more about you was so rewarding, right? Because I think before I’m posting to the void a little bit, and recording to the void, but now I’ve seen you and I know you’re real. And that was really, really special.

Eric: I agree. It’s always an interesting and extremely exciting time to meet the people that listen to the show, because when we record, we’re sitting in front of our computer alone in our room or a closet, or anything that we do. And then we go to these events, especially the conventions, which have to be probably my highlight, my favorite moments of meeting everybody. But we often get… has anybody ever said to you, Micah, “Oh, you don’t look how you sound”? Because I get that all the time. [laughs]

Chloé: The amount of people last night that were like, “You’re taller than I thought.” What does that mean?

Eric: You just project…

Chloé: Like I give short energy? Whatever. I have beef with all those people.

Eric: The more you think about it, maybe it’s not good to think about. But no, that’s really been amazing, because the opportunities that the show afforded us, right? So there’s been a great deal of personal growth when you start something like this with a group of people, all with very different personalities, but a shared common ground. I think what formed MuggleCast in the beginning, in addition to the fact that we were all pretty young and just extremely passionate, was where our personalities fit. And what began as “We’re just going to read the news” ended up being more.

Micah: Oh, we were just going to read the news?

Eric: It was just going to be a news recap show.

Micah: Oh, oh, I got you.

Eric: Like This Week in Tech kind of thing. That was what we were going to do.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, I agree. And just the opportunities that the show has afforded us over the years to be able to go different places and meet the people who listen to the show. It’s just great. Last night was awesome; I echo Chloé.

Eric: We had a live meetup last night. I’m sorry if the RSVPs were capped and you couldn’t get in, but it was a really nice time.

Chloé: We still love you anyway.

Micah: Yeah, blame Andrew.

Chloé: And it’s his fault, yeah.

Eric: It’s my fault. But let’s actually… so we’re going to do another game segment here, and this is where we are going to reprise our fan favorite Dueling Club. But in order to do this, we need volunteers who are interested. The way this game works – before you volunteer – the way this game works is we’re going to give you a category and you’re going to pick a character from Harry Potter, and the person that you are opposite is also going to pick a character from Harry Potter within that same category. And then you’re going to have to defend which one would win against the other in a duel.

Chloé: And then we’ll be rating your…

Eric: We’re going to be judging.

Chloé: Yeah, roasting you if you don’t do well. [laughs]

Eric: So if you would like to participate in something like that, could you raise your hand? Okay, we’ve got somebody straight back, in the back. Please come up to the stage. We will make a chair available.

Chloé: Amazing. Well, pick your side. Standoff. Why don’t you come over here? I’ll pick your side for you. [laughs] I’m loving the outfits.

Eric: Please, come on up.

Micah: What are your names?

Sam: Sam.

Violet: Violet.

Micah: Sam, Violet.

Eric: Can we actually get you guys to come up to the microphones? Or actually, I can move this over to… sorry about that.

Chloé: This is for you, Sam. Nice to meet you.

Eric: So Sam and Violet? Sam and Violet. Okay. Thank you for being our first volunteers. Can we get a round of applause for our first volunteers here?

[Audience cheers]

Eric: Very brave.

Chloé: But I don’t think either of you or Gryffindors, are you?

Sam and Violet: No.

Eric: You know, other Houses can be brave, too, Chloé.

Chloé: Well, she’s wearing a Slytherin sweatshirt and scarf, and you’re giving Luna a little bit. So are you a Ravenclaw? Yeah, see?

Eric: Okay.

Chloé: I used deductive reasoning.

Eric: Well spotted. You know, you’d be pretty good at what we do on the show.

Chloé: I’m so big brained, you guys. You have no idea.

Eric: Okay, so Sam and Violet, for your round of the Dueling Club, the category is non-human characters. Take a minute to think about this. So it can be anybody you know that’s not human, whether they’re a house-elf, a centaur…

Violet: Does a werewolf count as not human?

Eric: A werewolf can… I would say that…

Chloé: I was telling Eric, this is a political question. [laughs]

Eric: I think it’s pretty cut and dry. Okay, 100% human. If they’re not 100% human, they’re included. Okay, but I hope that didn’t lead your opponent into guessing what you might be choosing if you ask that question, so just clear your mind.

Chloé: Uh-oh, Sam was also going to pick Lupin.

Eric: Okay, Lupin is off-limits. This is how we play. It’s great, we make up all the rules, all the rules. So think about a non-human character. And we’re sorry, this is a hard category, we know. Tick, tick, tick. Take another moment. Do you have somebody?

Chloé: It is controversial, this question, truly.

Eric: We’ve already said that.

Chloé: No, no, I know, I’m just thinking…

Eric: I will apologize again.

Violet: I mean, I have someone. I just don’t know if they technically count.

Micah: Everybody counts.

Eric: It’s okay. You know what? Okay, this is just actually to narrow the pool. If it’s slightly not correct, it’s fine as a character because you still have to defend whether they would win against the other character in a duel. Do you have somebody? Okay, so lean into your microphone, and we’re going to say “Three, two, one,” and then you’re going to say your character at the same time. Okay, three, two, one.

Violet: Voldemort.

Sam: Bane.

Eric: Voldemort and Bane the centaur. Okay, so on the one hand, you have Lord Voldemort, former human who’s really just magically changed and grown into something quite unrecognizable as his former self. And on the other hand, you have Bane, one of the fiercest centaurs, and fiercest for a traditional standpoint. So we’re going to take turns here; we’re going to start with Voldemort. Why do you think Voldemort would win in a magical duel against Bane?

Violet: Okay, I’m just saying, first of all, he has a wand. And the Elder Wand is the most powerful wand in the world. He is one of the most feared people in all of history, even though he couldn’t technically kill people at a school. But anyway, the point is, he is the most feared Dark Lord in history, he has a bunch of followers, he has power, he has fear on his side, and yeah, I’m just saying a centaur probably couldn’t face Voldemort.

Eric: Okay, okay.

Chloé: Sam?

Sam:: I’m really bad at this. Can we just pretend that he has a wand?

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Well, you know what? He’s got hands. He can hold… he’s got thumbs.

Micah: He’s got hooves.

Eric: He could hold a wand.

Violet: I will admit, Bane would probably crush Voldemort in a fist fight.

Eric: Are you conceding? Are you conceding?

Violet: No, no, of course not.

Eric: But do you have any more to say?

Sam: So if he did have a wand, I think… he’s a centaur, so he’s really smart. He was made to be smarter than normal humans. I’m really bad at this.

Micah: You’re doing great.

Sam: He’d probably get really mad and just kick him in the face.

Eric: Oh, a hoof to the face.

Chloé: Why did no one think of that?

Eric: You know what? Maybe it happened. That’s why his nose is caved in.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Bane has already attacked Lord Voldemort and won.

Sam: I’m just saying, he could probably just kick him in the face.

Eric: Yeah, kick him in the face?

Chloé: Totally could kick him in the face.

Eric: How does the audience feel about the defenses here presented? Who thinks Voldemort would win in a fight against Bane?

[Audience cheers]

Eric: Okay, respectable, respectable. Maybe Voldemort supporters in the front row there. Sorry, I wasn’t assuming anything by the lots of Slytherin outfits.

Violet: Okay, he has Horcruxes. He has seven chances at life. I’m sorry.

Eric: Who thinks Bane would actually triumph?

[Audience cheers louder]

Chloé: Wow.

Eric: We’re going to say probably Bane wins the first round of the Dueling Club. Congratulations, Sam. So as a prize, we actually have… let’s see. BRB.

Chloé: Also, Bane has a pack. That’s going to give him a lot of support, right? And he’s fierce.

Audience member: He can look into the future.

Chloé: That’s an excellent point.

Eric: So I know neither of you are Gryffindors, which, that’s unexpected.

Chloé: Is it, for MuggleCast?

Violet: We’re better than Gryffindors.

Eric: This round each of you are going to get to choose a prize. Sam is going to get to choose first. We have a MuggleCast tote bag that we…

[Audience ooooohs]

Chloé: Vintage.

Eric: It’s a reusable shopping bag, which has a little pocket on the inside, and it’s really well made and durable. And on the front it says, “Carrying magic since 2005.”

Chloé: Are either of you younger than the show?

Eric: Oh, God, don’t ask that question. Don’t ask the question.

[Chloé laughs]

Eric: And then the other prize we have, and this is the prize we have for everyone else who does the Dueling Club in the future’s prizes, is very exclusive. My favorite thing that we’ve ever done for the show is the MuggleCast mug. And it’s Gryffindor colors on the inside. This is not strictly shippable, or take on the plane-able, and will probably shatter if you’re not very careful.

Micah: You’re not selling this very well.

Eric: But that’s what makes it vintage! Because these are the only ones we have left and they have survived.

Micah: Hold on, so would you say then that that is a leaky mug?

[Audience laughs]

Eric: If you take it home in your checked baggage, it might turn out to have been…

Chloé: I have a tip. I really do. Put it in the middle of all your clothes, and don’t… yeah, and stuff clothes inside the mug and around it.

Eric: Yeah, the way that they do if you go to one of those Christmas shops and they do the ornaments… I’m sorry. Anyway, we’re holding you guys up so much. You guys have been great. Sam, do you have a preference for the prizes? The mug? Thank you so very much. And you’d like the tote bag? Thank you both for being our first volunteers.

[Audience cheers]

Micah: And just really quickly, speaking of leaky mugs, Melissa.

Eric: Oh, Melissa!

Chloé: As soon as she’s doing something. [laughs]

Melissa Anelli: Now I’m MuggleCast.

Eric: MuggleCast?

Micah: Oh, you’re MuggleCast.

Melissa: John and Frak ditched me, so…

Eric: Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, Melissa Anelli, the woman that has made all of this possible!

[Audience cheers]

Melissa: Ooh, is it your birthday?

Micah: August 17.

Melissa: Okay, close enough.

Eric: Please come down and grab that mic; you can reach it around.

Melisas: Hello, fellow MuggleCasters.

Eric: Hello, Melissa. Welcome, welcome. We just finished talking about how old we are.

Melissa: I’m so glad I got here now.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: But we are playing the Dueling Club.

Melissa: Okay.

Eric: You remember how this goes?

Melissa: As a MuggleCaster, I know about this.

Eric: Oh, of course. That’s right. One of the original hosts of our show.

Melissa: You do what… you ask questions?

Chloé: Almost.

Eric: Um, yes? Question mark. We ask the question, the only question that matters is who would win in a duel?

Melissa: Okay.

Eric: And we get two audience members to participate. Do we have other volunteers, by the way, who want to try this out? Okay, right in the front, Rex, and also the two-toned white and black hair over there. Welcome, welcome, welcome. And then Melissa, if you wouldn’t mind sharing the mic. You know what, I actually had that mic earlier today and it does work; it’s just the light is gone. Okay, okay. Your new category of characters – and this is a little limiting, but we’re going to go with it – Defense Against the Dark Arts professors.

Rex: Okay.

Eric: Rex is ready. He’s like, “Okay.”

Chloé: Rex has his own Harry Potter podcast. [laughs]

Eric: Let’s take a minute because if you guys do say the same character, you both have to pick different characters.

Rex: Okay.

Jenny: Okay, let me think this one through.

Eric: Yeah, take your time. You have your first one and a backup? DADA professors. Are you all set?

Jenny: Yeah.

Eric: Okay. Oh, sorry, what were your names? So Rex?

Rex: I’m Rex. That is my name.

Eric: And…?

Jenny: Jenny.

Eric: Jenny? Okay. Thank you both. We’re going to say three, two, one, and you’re both going to say your character name of DADA professors, who would win in a duel. Okay, three, two, one.

Jenny: Fake Moody.

Rex: Lupin.

Eric: Fake Moody versus Remus Lupin.

[Audience ooooohs]

Rex: That’s good.

Eric: Okay, who has a ready defense and would like to go first?

Jenny: I’m ready.

Melissa: Okay.

Eric: Oh, wow. How interesting that the person I singled out as being a huge Voldemort supporter is now supporting a Death Eater.

Jenny: [laughs] I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Chloé: You literally have a Dark Mark on you.

Eric: Jenny is hiding the Dark Mark. Okay, Jenny, why would fake Moody beat Remus Lupin, our favorite DADA professor?

Jenny: Sure. So fake Moody has chaotic energy. He will literally torture things in class and murder spiders, so I believe he would have no problem trying to murder another teacher.

Chloé: Valid. So valid.

Eric: I find that very compelling.

Rex: I know it might not be canon, but I’m sure Lupin has murdered a spider before…

[Audience laughs]

Rex: … so I don’t think that’s impressive. And if this is on a full moon, and he didn’t take his… he has the werewolf energy and that is kinda scary.

Eric: So he can wolf out…

Rex: And kill spiders.

Eric: … and he’s probably killed a spider. But Moody is kind of the X factor; you don’t know, he could go real far. Barty Crouch. Okay, I can’t decide this, and I don’t know about you guys, but should we let the audience figure out who won? Who thinks that Remus Lupin would triumph over Barty Crouch, Jr.?

[Audience cheers]

Eric: And who thinks that Barty Crouch, Jr. would triumph over Remus?

[Audience cheers louder]

Eric: I wasn’t prepared to embrace the evil, but Jenny has absolutely surprised us.

Rex: That was a good choice.

Eric: She surprised me by coming up with that. I want to say congratulations, Jenny. And if you guys do want a MuggleCast mug, we have them here.

Rex: I’ll take one. Mine broke.

Eric: Okay, and Jenny, thank you both very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chloé: An excellent choice.

Eric: We have one more round if people want to play, if we have two more volunteers. In the back in the vulture hat, and over there in the blue hat. Welcome, welcome. Only people with hats.

Chloé: Oh wow, that’s so excellent. You look so good.

Eric: Oh my God.

Mike: I know, I can’t win against that. Actually, I’m covered in Patronuses, so I can.

Eric: Listen, I was going to say, not with that attitude. You got this. You got this.

Chloé: For those listening, we’re currently looking at a fabulous, fabulous Snape cosplay, but specifically when he’s a boggart.

Eric: Neville’s grandma, yes. Boggart Snape. Okay. Oh, happy birthday! And what is your name?

Claire: My name is Claire.

Chloé: This cake is for you.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: If you have something that can cut this cake, you can just take it. It’s cool, it’s cool. It says “Happee Birthdae Micah” on it, but I’m sure that’s fine.

Melissa: I have such issue with this. Hagrid knew how to spell. I’m sorry.

Eric: No, he didn’t.

Melissa: He knew how to spell!

Mike: This is a whole new Dueling Club now.

Eric: He tries, he tries. Okay, okay, sorry. I’m sorry, what was your name again?

Claire: My name is Claire.

Eric: Claire.

Micah: It’s her birthday.

Eric: And your name, sir.

Mike: I’m Mike.

Eric: Claire and Mike. Okay, so your category for the Dueling Club: Weasleys.

[Audience ooooohs]

Chloé: My idea, thank you.

Eric: This was Chloé’s idea. Shout-out to Chloé again. Take your time, just think about it for a minute, and remember that if you do say the same character, we’re going to make you both choose a different character, so have a backup ready. Claire, Mike, okay, you’re both very good. Okay, we’re going to say three, two, one. You’re each going to say your character. Three, two, one.

Claire: Charlie.

Mike: Molly.

[Audience ooooohs]

Eric: Charlie and Molly.

Claire: Why do you think they’re fighting?

Eric: That’s another great question. Why would they fight? Who would like to defend their choice first?

Claire: I’m happy to go.

Eric: Okay, okay. Claire, why would Charlie Weasley be able to defeat his mother in a duel?

Claire: So I would say Charlie, we hear really the least about him. And I really think that he is probably a very powerful wizard, and he also works with dragons, and dragons are very powerful creatures. I don’t know if anyone has been reading things like Fourth Wing and whatnot. So I think that Charlie would win because he would also have the help of a dragon, which we know cannot really be defeated unless there’s multiple witches and wizards fighting against it at the same time.

Chloé: Did you cite fan fiction just then?

Claire: No, no, no, it’s a book. Rebecca Yarros.

Eric: Okay, okay. Mike, we’re going to check in with you. How are you feeling?

Mike: Mother knows best. You don’t mess with your mom.

Eric: Oh, snap.

Mike: I mean, we know she’s a powerful witch. We know that. But I mean, that’s beyond the point we’re talking about. You have the interpersonal relationship. You really going to go up against your mom?

Chloé: Also, probably taught him everything he knows.

Mike: Yeah, there you go.

Micah: I think I have the perfect person to judge. Arthur is sitting right over here.

[Audience laughs]

Micah: And I don’t want you to struggle too much between your wife and your son, but…

Audience member dressed as Arthur: We’ll just have to ask Bellatrix.

Chloé: Boo.

Melissa: I agree. Molly.

Chloé: That is such a fair argument.

Eric: But could she bring herself to raise her wand against her…? Well, he’s not the oldest.

Chloé: That wasn’t the question, though.

Eric: Okay, okay, who would win in a duel? Okay.

Melissa: The assumption, right, the premise is that this is the Dueling Club.

Eric: Oh, right. You’re right. No, Melissa really… yeah, that’s a great point.

Melissa: As a MuggleCaster, I know these things.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Let’s be honest, Melissa was always the best MuggleCaster. Okay, so please help yourselves to your mugs if you would like them. Thank you both for playing. Okay, so next we wanted to touch on, just since we’ve been fans for so long… oh, Melissa, be sure to get the mic back.

Chloé: I’ve been a fan longer than Micah, though; let the record show.

Eric: We did establish that earlier, that Chloé actually maybe picked up her book first.

Melissa: When?

Chloé: When I was six.

Melissa: When were you six?

Chloé: 2005.

Melissa: I’ve got you a little beat, I think.

Eric: But we’re on the same level. MuggleCast and PotterCast both debuted in August of 2005, so we have been Harry Potter fans for at least as long if not longer. I wanted to talk about now… just ask you guys what your favorite moment from the fandom was, so not related to specifically podcasting. But there were so many ups and downs as a Harry Potter fan, the many reveals, the many happenings, viral moments. Is there something that really sticks out as just “This was the wildest time to be a Harry Potter fan when this happened”?

Melissa: Can we say pre…? My friend is calling it “Rapture.”

Eric: June 2020?

Melissa: Yeah, my friend is calling it the rapture, and I’ve decided to make this a thing. Before the rapture, it was… oh God, I can’t… like, number one?

Eric: Something that comes to mind now.

Melissa: Honestly, when Emerson and I went and did the thing in 2005.

Eric: Was it before the seventh book or before the sixth book?

Melissa: It was before the sixth book. I don’t know if you guys even know this; it’s a whole new generation. Emerson and I were invited by J.K. Rowling to go to the release of the sixth book in Edinburgh Castle and then interview her the next day, which meant we had to be done with the book by the next day. And it was just this incredible night where we were at this castle watching her give this reading to a bunch of kids. And they wouldn’t, even to us, knowing we had to interview her the next day, would not give us the book until midnight. I was like, “Thanks, y’all. They’re in a room over there; could I just have one?” And so we took our books, and we were staying in this little hotel in Edinburgh, and we just ran. I had these heels on so I just took off my heels, we’re just running down the Edinburgh streets, I was like, “We have to sit down and read!” But it was the most amazing experience for at that level of being a fan because it was just such a height. And she was still our…

Eric: Did she call you on the phone? Because I seem to remember Emerson either missed the call or it was like, “Em, it’s Jo…”

Melissa: Emerson missed the call. And her assistant had warned me, her assistant said, “Can I call you?” And I was like, “Sure.” And then I realized that her assistant and I had talked plenty about many things; she never once had to call me. And I thought to myself, “Don’t think that. Don’t think that. It could be… don’t think that. Don’t go there.” And then at 8:00 in the morning I pick up the phone and it was J.K. Rowling.

Eric: Thank God she didn’t say, like, “We’re thinking of litigating against you and you need to end the fan site.” It’s not like, “Hey, you’ve got to shut it down.”

Melissa: Similar things have happened.

Eric: So was it not her house that you went to?

Melissa: The castle was the party and then it was her house the next day that we went to, which was wild. And then I got to go again and interview her for my book, which was such an incredible experience because it was past all the glitz and glamour phase and we were just… it felt like we had been through something together because of this fandom thing. Obviously, what she’d gone through was a lot more, but it really felt like we could finally talk about everything openly; there were no more secrets. And so I spent two days in our house just – not sleeping over – two full days just chatting, and it was delightful. She was delightful then.

Eric: Yeah, a simpler time. Anybody else have…?

Micah: I always remember her website, and the reveals that she would do on the site were just so cool. The little puzzles you had to figure out in order to get the titles of the different books.

Eric: I never figured them out. I had to go to MuggleNet and figure out how to…. “Jo’s website hacks.” It was impossible. The WOMBATs – did anybody do the WOMBAT quizzes? They are the hardest possible questions.

Melissa: That’s not up anymore, right?

Eric: No.

Micah: There was just such an energy about it. There was an energy.

Eric: There was an energy, and that’s how big…

Melissa: It’s the same energy that Taylor Swift fans have now. It’s the same energy.

Eric: I didn’t think it would be recreated ever, but you’ve actually pointed that out that I’m pretty sure that’s 100% accurate.

Melissa: They’re figuring things out together.

Eric: Taylor Swift energy. By the way, MuggleCast is older than Taylor Swift’s first album.

Melissa: I was going to say, Taylor Swift?

[Audience laughs]

Micah: Pretty close.

Melissa: Pretty close, but no.

Chloé: Taylor Swift is similar in age, actually, to you.

Melissa: Hey, at 20 we should do something. Years.

Chloé: In two years.

Melissa: 2025.

Eric: Why don’t we go and stage our own party in Edinburgh Castle? We’re going to dream big and you’re all invited.

Chloé: I will bring a newer fandom moment to y’all for my Gen Z and my newer fans, newer generation. All the Young Dudes.

[A few cheers in crowd]

Chloé: Right? Yes, and the Marauder fandom and what’s happened after. Post-rapture, the fans have really claimed this series and made it their own and created beautiful, wonderful stories that are the spinoffs we’ve really wanted. So I love that, and I love Harry Potter TikTok, and that actually has been a really wonderful moment for me, especially again during the pandemic.

Melissa: I want to add to that a little bit because I think if we’re doing pre-rapture and post-rapture – it’s already a thing, I’m so excited – so I think the fact that LeakyCon has now become maybe one of the only, if only, in-person place where you can still come and celebrate the story and not feel like you are celebrating somebody whose views you don’t agree with.

Eric: Thank you for that.

[Audience cheers]

Melissa: It’s so special. It’s not me, it’s our team that cares so very deeply about making sure that the space that we all built as fans doesn’t get ruined because of things that she’s doing. And I won’t pretend it’s been easy, but the fact that y’all come and support it is a huge reason why we can still do this, that we can count on the fandom to be here for each other still.

Eric: Yeah, I will say it does give me hope seeing all the Harry Potter influencers on TikTok and just making it their own. That’s what it’s all about. Yeah, I mean, for me, I’d love to think about something not JKR centered, but something that is tangentially related, of course. We brought this up earlier, but Evanna Lynch used to listen to MuggleCast and we maybe vaguely heard a story about MuggleNet; she found out about the Luna Lovegood casting call from reading the site. Well, so apparently she would introduce our podcast to other cast members while on set of the fifth and sixth movies; it’s really unbelievable. But all this leading to LeakyCon… I think it was 2011 you were in Chicago.

Melissa: ’11 was Florida. ’12 was Chicago.

Eric: I keep thinking it’s 2011. It’s 2012. Anyway, we asked Evanna to be part of our live show at LeakyCon here in Chicago in 2012 at the Hilton, which is a lot closer to Lollapalooza. How’s traffic been, by the way, for you guys? So she said yes, and we were getting seventh anniversary T-shirts – this is how old ago this was – seventh anniversary T-shirts made. I said, “Do you want to a T-shirt?” We had House colors; I was going to give her Ravenclaw one. And she said, “No, no, I have my own shirt.” I’m like, “Okay.” She shows up in the original MuggleCast shirt that we sold in 2005/2006 from Sam and Nate. It was based on the old iPod shadows design where the original iPod… because again, we’re older than the iPod. Or, the iPhone.

Chloé: I have beef with that design.

Melissa: You’re older than iTunes doing podcasts. Nobody knew what a podcast was. We put the 30-megabyte thing just up on the Leaky Cauldron and it broke the site. There was no Libsyn.

Eric: There was a dedicated RSS feed client. What is this?

Melissa: We were just like, “I don’t know, here’s this file,” and then everything broke.

Eric: Well, Micah said – and it kind of broke me – dial-up was still a thing. It’s unbelievable. And people were burning our podcasts to CD so they could listen in the car.

Melissa: You couldn’t go one second over an hour. You couldn’t do it.

Micah: Walkmans.

Eric: Where was I? Yes. So Evanna Lynch brought that shirt, which means we probably have her home address somewhere in our old order form. I’m sorry. It broke our brains because she was amazing in the movies, and seeing that level of… it just sold it for me. So you can tell me verbally that that was a thing, but seeing it and she was proud and brought it…

Micah: And she’s been on the podcast several times. We’ve gone on her podcast,

Eric: She’s great. But yeah, all the people… because that really shows us again, meeting everybody at these cons and everybody in the room listening, these are all the people that were affected by what we put out there and liked it and came back, and they tell us, and it’s really just been an amazing experience.

Melissa: That’s why when people say, “You’re still doing it?” and…

Eric: Yeah, we’re still doing it. “What do you talk about?”

Melissa: Yeah, y’all are still doing it. PotterCast is trying, y’all. [laughs]

Eric: Listen, listen, listen. If you want to jump ship and head over to MuggleCast…

Melissa: I’m telling you, John and Frak ditched me. I’m a MuggleCaster now.

Micah: Welcome.

Melissa: At least for this weekend.

Eric: I declare canon!

Micah: That was good.

Eric: Thank you. I need the thunder.

Micah: I’m going to do the trivia question now.

Eric: Do you have a trivia question?

Micah: I do have a trivia question. I have a prize to give away too.

Melissa: Ooh.

Eric: Okay, we do have a prize to give away for a trivia question. Take it away, Micah.

Micah: So we’re obviously celebrating the 18th birthday of MuggleCast. The question is – and please just raise your hand, don’t shout it out – who was on the first episode of MuggleCast? Who hosted the first episode of MuggleCast?

Eric: We have a Hufflepuff in the second row.

Chloé: Stephanie.

Eric: Shout it out. Stephanie?

Stephanie: Do you want me to go up there?

Eric: Sure. Well, actually, just shout it out.

Stephanie: Was it Ben Schoen?

Micah: I’m asking the whole host. All the hosts that were on the first episode of MuggleCast.

Chloé: Oh, we want all of them.

Stephanie: It was Ben, Andrew, and Kevin?

Eric: So the guess is Ben, Andrew, and Kevin.

Melissa: Kevin Steck. Oh my God. Where is he?

Eric: He really likes Skyrim.

Chloé: He came on recently. [laughs]

Eric: Is that correct?

Micah: That is correct.

[Audience cheers]

Eric: So speaking of Kevin Steck, he came on MuggleCast recently because we were discussing a certain video game that came out that we were all little questionable about buying it. Turns out, that’s one of the most diverse video games with a great story, and we love it now. So our copy for you, Stephanie, of PlayStation 5, Hogwarts Legacy is now here.

Melissa: So cool.

Stephanie: Thank you very much!

Eric: You’re quite welcome.

Chloé: Everyone should know that Stephanie’s outfit – that’s listening – looks fabulous.

Eric: It’s a Hufflepuff Quidditch player with their name on the back.

Chloé: Everyone’s outfits are so good.

Eric: Everyone’s outfits! Next level.

Chloé: You all look so hot. I love it.

Eric: [laughs] Okay, who wants to see us actually talk about Harry Potter now? We had a segment. This is where you’re going to challenge us. And Melissa, thank God you’re here.

Melissa: [laughs] We’ll see.

Eric: We’re going to play Make the Connection.

Audience member: Yes!

Eric: Making the Connection is an old segment whereby there’s a prompt, “Make the connection between Harry Potter and…” We then take turns and we need to connect it in a satisfying way. If we do not do this, if it is not satisfying, we lose. So would anybody like to challenge us? Here’s an example: Make the connection between Harry Potter and hearing the music of the ice cream truck as a kid in summertime. Right? It would be like, oh, well, Harry had certain summers, etc., etc. Like that. Or it could be as crazy as Jamie Lawrence used to come up with, like the lint in the middle of your belly button.

Micah: After you’ve slept for 12 hours.

Eric: After you’ve slept for 12 hours under a tree in the shade, yeah. So who has a…? And this is for the MuggleCast mugs, by the way, the remaining quantity of MuggleCast mugs. We’re going to give them out if we can do a few rounds. Does anybody have a challenge for us? Please stump us. Be as obscure as you like.

[Long pause]

Eric: Okay, we’re going to jump to a Q&A.

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Which was the end of… let’s jump to Q&A if people have just general questions. But the challenge is out there; the gauntlet is… if anybody wants to come up with a Make the Connection for… okay, somebody, do you have a Make the Connection?

Audience member: I do. The Chicago River.

Eric: The Chicago River. What a great, proper… so make the connection between Harry Potter and the Chicago River.

Audience member: Specifically around the time of the tour bus…

Rex: The poop?

[Audience laughs]

Eric: Around the time of the what?

Rex: The Dave Matthews poop scandal.

Chloé: Oh, oh, oh. They dumped… okay, tell me if I’m right, but the Dave Matthews Band dumped their feces…

Rex: On a Chicago architecture boat tour.

Melissa: What does that have to do with Harry Potter?

Micah: That’s the point.

Eric: We have to find out! We must discover what it has to do with Harry Potter.

Melissa: They couldn’t vanish it.

Micah: They couldn’t send it to poop mountain.

Chloé: Oh, I have a connection ready.

Eric: Okay, Chloé’s got it. Maybe we’re going to vote on whose connection…

Chloé: I have a connection, I think, already. So when Harry is on the Knight Bus for the first time, there is a witch that he sees in the corner of his eyes, and she is visibly green. She looks like she might have already puked or she’s about to puke. And that is transportation that other people are on, that is bodily fluids, and that’s Harry Potter. So I think I just hit everything. Oh, but the Chicago River. They are drinking hot chocolate, which is often made out of water, and the Chicago River is also made out of water. And sometimes you put things in the Chicago River to change its appearance, like the green for St. Patrick’s Day. They just dumped a bunch of rubber ducks in, did you guys see that? That was awesome. So yeah, I just made the connection.

Melissa: So it’s not that the Chicago River was in Harry Potter someplace.

Eric: No, no, but the feeling the you get… or so, the Chicago River around the time that the Dave Matthews Band shat in it.

Melissa: When was that?

Rex: Like, 2007. It was going over one of the bridges and dumped all of their…

Eric: Yeah, yeah, we get it, we get it. Okay.

Melissa: I’m so sorry I know that now.

Micah: I think she still gets a mug, though.

Eric: Yeah, please come up and get your mug, by the way, for that awesome suggestion. And I think that Chloé probably nailed it. I can’t follow that.

Chloé: Yeah. Do I get a mug?

Eric: Yeah, you also get a mug. You’re also not a Gryffindor. Does anyone else have a Make the Connection for us? Okay, I see two, three more hands. We’ll do them quick. Yes, in the jean jacket.

Audience member: Bowling alley carpeting.

Micah: That might be worse than dumping the poop.

Eric: No, I love bowling alley carpeting.

Melissa: Is there something specific about bowling alley carpeting?

Eric: Bowling alley carpeting is that zany… there’s planets…

Chloé: I have one, but I’ll give you a chance.

Eric: Okay. It’s just the most wild patterns in the most…

Melissa: It’s like con hotel carpeting.

Eric: Kind of. So I feel like if I were a trendy wizard, or if I were actually crazy like Dumbledore…

Chloé: You are.

Eric: … I would get myself into Gladrags Wizardwear and the robes I would end with are the ones that would be patterned just like the bowling alley carpeting. I feel like we’ve seen characters in crazy or crazier patterns than anything you’ve ever seen in a bowling alley. Maybe they were trying to go undercover as Muggles, or maybe it was just Dumbledore on a Wednesday.

Chloé: Dedalus Diggle would probably wear that.

Eric: Dedalus Diggle, absolutely, absolutely. And I wouldn’t put it past Mundungus Fletcher to tear up some carpet and try and sell it to a wizard, saying it’s the latest fashion trend.

Melissa: Definitely.

Eric: Please come up and get your mug!

Chloé: I also feel like the Leaky Cauldron flooring would be just as gross as a bowling alley carpet, right? Because people are spilling beer on it.

Eric: People stick their gum on it.

Chloé: Yeah, for sure.

Melissa: Wasn’t there also a magic carpet salesperson at some point?

Eric: Yeah, there was a magic carpet at the Quidditch World Cup. See, you’ve got it. Melissa is on it, everybody.

Melissa: I’m on it.

Eric: Okay, in the front far left corner. Hello.

Audience member: Okay, I have a really crazy one.

Eric: Okay, a really crazy one.

Audience member: Harry Potter and the purple people eater.

Eric: Make the connection between Harry Potter and the purple people eater.

Melissa: Dumbledore likes purple… Dumbledore wears purple?

Chloé: I already have one.

Eric: Chloé’s got it.

Melissa: What is a purple people eater?

Eric: It’s just a green-eyed flying purple eater… one-eyed, one-horned flying purple… does it fly?

Melissa: Oh, what’s something purple that flies?

Chloé: There’s multiple connections there.

Melissa: There must be a dragon.

Micah: There’s got to be a dragon.

Eric: Hungarian Horntail?

Micah: It’s not purple.

Eric: It eats people.

Micah: Grawp?

Eric: The Horntail actually looks purple, but that’s because the image in the movie is so dark, everything looks purple.

Melissa: There’s got to be a purple dragon.

Chloé: I have one; I’m wondering if you guys will give it to me. Hermione is Muggle-born, right? And she probably grew up listening to nursery rhymes and children’s stories…

Eric: And Raffi. So much Raffi.

Chloé: … that are from the Muggle world, and I’m wondering if she heard, before she went to Hogwarts, the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater. And then when Ron was talking about The Tales of Beedle Bard, or later when Ron who does this in the books and not in the movies, teaches Harry and Hermione about wizarding life – because Hermione randomly knows it in the movies, which doesn’t make sense – but when Ron is telling them about wizarding culture, I wonder if Hermione in the scenes we don’t see tells him about the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater.

Eric: Are we going to give that to Chloé?

[Audience cheers]

Eric: Okay, please come up and get your Gryffindor mug.

Melissa: Did you say Gryffindor mug?

Eric: It is red and black.

Melissa: Oh, got it.

Eric: We originally had all the House colors, then they got smashed by UPS. They were insured, it’s cool.

Chloé: And Gryffindors don’t listen to MuggleCast.

Eric: Yeah, we’ve actually found out… we’ve talked recently, Gryffindor is… we’re exclusive of…

Chloé: If you’re a Gryffindor, can you cheer?

[Audience cheers]

Chloé: Okay! They’re all here.

Eric: Thank you!

Micah: They do exist.

Eric: We have time and round for one more hand. I don’t want to miss anybody in the back. I see a Slytherin in the back.

Audience member: Hi, the incandescent lightbulb, the one that just got banned.

Eric: The one that just got banned. I haven’t heard about it.

Audience member: They just banned all incandescent lightbulbs.

Melissa: Yeah, or they just can’t sell them anymore. You can’t buy new ones.

Eric: What makes them incandescent? Is it the filament?

Melissa: Because it takes up a whole lot more energy than LED.

Eric: Oh, tha LEDs, okay.

Melissa: And it’s the last Tom Edison invention. But wasn’t the light in Harry’s cupboard an incandescent lightbulb?

Eric: Melissa just solved it. Making the connection between Harry Potter

Micah: The Deluminator.

Chloé: Yeah, I was about to say, Dumbledore cancels lights.

Eric: Okay, make the connection between Harry Potter and incandescent lightbulbs, specifically the kind that were just banned. Melissa says the light in Harry’s cupboard was surely an incandescent bulb. They didn’t have LEDs in 1991; all the bulbs were incandescent. That’s a great one. You think you have something better?

Micah: The Deluminator came to mind.

Eric: Yeah, the put-outer could definitely do that. Chloé, do you have something?

Chloé: Well, I was going to just say that the Deluminator… Dumbledore literally cancels lights. We just cancelled lightbulbs.

Eric: We just cancelled lightbulbs like the Deluminator! Ah, it’s so good.

Chloé: I just slayed this.

Eric: I think you all slayed, and I’m so glad I didn’t have to come up with any make the connections. Please come up and get your mugs. But I think that that may actually wrap our 18th birthday celebration. We want to thank everyone for coming out to MuggleCast LIVE; we have had such a wonderful time at LeakyCon this year, as always. We want to thank Melissa for putting on such a great place. You’ve always been so good to us.

Melissa: Thank you for having me here.

Eric: We have more panels to do. We have two more tomorrow that Micah and I are on, and I will be participating in the stage reading of Puffs tomorrow.

Melissa: You’re in that? What time is that?

Eric: I’m doing the stage directions. 1:15 tomorrow, this stage.

Melissa: Amazing. That happened last week. It’s wild.

Eric: I know. So thank you again all for coming. If we just all cheer and say goodbye! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Audience cheers]

Transcript #624

 

MuggleCast 624 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #624, Where’s the Moonscreen? (POA Chapter 20 The Dementor’s Kiss)


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And this week, be sure to put on your chapstick because the Dementors are finally going to get their chance to pucker up.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I almost made a kissy noise, but I don’t think some people like that. Some people don’t dig the ASMR.

Eric: Right.

Laura: Yeah, we’ve gotten feedback about that before.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I really appreciate how these episode intros seem to get more unhinged every week.

Andrew: [laughs] Well, who wrote this?

Laura: Oh, I did. I went all in on it this week because of last week…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Laura is patting herself on the back.

Laura: Yeah. I feel like we should just lean into it.

Andrew: Absolutely, yeah.

Eric: I agree.

Andrew: Well, before we get to this chapter – and we do have a fun little stat about this chapter, which is Chapter 20, “The Dementor’s Kiss” – just a couple of quick reminders. Last week we told everybody about year two of the MuggleCast Collector’s Club, and this is a five-year program in which each year between now and 2026, we will be sending you four to five exclusive new stickers that celebrate the show’s past and present. And we’re also giving you the Collector’s Club card, which is this beautiful backing card for your stickers. If you want to put them on there, you can; you don’t have to. But it’s really great; it’s beautiful artwork all around. Year two stickers celebrate various parts of MuggleCast past and present: We have our old Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul sticker, we’ve got a sticker with a classic iPod with MuggleCast playing, we’ve got a sticker with Hogwarts on fire… so check out the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. You must pledge by September 22 and fill out the form to receive year two stickers. This is the only year you can receive these stickers. This is just one of the many benefits you receive, and actually, we have a new bonus MuggleCast coming soon. Eric, do you want to tease what that’s about this week?

Eric: Absolutely. Yeah, by the time this episode is out, so too will be the next bonus MuggleCast segment for this month, and it is video of the content creators roundtable that was done at LeakyCon this year. This was a really fun panel that we had, a panel discussion about creating content, how people got started… Micah did this with me, as well as Em Wallbank and Chanel Williams, who you may know from TikTok, and Trey Beachum, as well as Lauren Fairweather, who did a great job moderating. So it’s a 50-minute video that’s now fully available, and just go check it out, because this is what we do at these cons. There’s an air of unpredictability. For instance, I believe that one of the panelists is in character the whole time as some Elvis guy.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh, I’ve heard of that guy.

Eric: Yeah, he’s kind of a weird, dude…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: … but his outfit is impeccable.

Andrew: [laughs] “Kind of a weird dude.” Eric, Eric…

Eric: Impeccable vibes. So that’s a gift for all people who support us on Patreon; we’re very grateful always, but special bonus content that’s only available if you subscribe.

Andrew: Yeah, we’re doing two bonus MuggleCast installments a month. Laura, you just actually did a great bonus MuggleCast installment for us, or led it, I should say.

Laura: Oh, thank you. Yeah, we talked about our favorite – or maybe some of the most convincing – headcanons for Harry Potter that we were able to source from Reddit, from Tumblr. These are basically fan imaginings of things that could have happened offscreen that we don’t necessarily get to see represented in the books. It was a really, really fun discussion, and I feel like we could honestly make that a series if we wanted to because the the well is unlimited there, I think. There’s a lot to dig into.

Micah: The people have spoken. I think they want another installment of that on a future bonus MuggleCast.

Laura: All right!

Micah: We’ve seen some feedback on social media; people really enjoyed it. I’m still trying to process Mrs. Norris is Filch’s wife.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: That’s been in the back of my head all week long.

Andrew: So check out Patreon.com/MuggleCast to check out all the benefits that we have to offer.


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


Andrew: And now it’s time for Chapter by Chapter, and this week we’re discussing Chapter 20 of Prisoner of Azkaban, “The Dementor’s Kiss,” and we’ll start as always with our seven-word summary.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Micah: Chaos…

Eric: … ensues…

Laura: … on…

Andrew: … Hogwarts…

Micah: … grounds…

Eric: … under…

[Andrew gasps]

Eric: [whispers] Moonlight. Moonlight.

Laura: … moonlight, thank you.

[Andrew laughs]

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]

Laura: I was like, “God, what’s the word I’m looking for?” I knew that’s where we were going.

Andrew: Oh, beautiful.

Laura: This is a good one, y’all.

Andrew: It is. So romantic.

Laura: Micah, that was such a great word to start our seven-word summary with.

Micah: Thank you. I didn’t even know I was starting it until I just looked seconds ago.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: Well, your girl may have realized 15 minutes before the episode started that she hadn’t put a seven-word summary order in, so… congratulations. That’s why you ended up in the first spot.

Micah: You’ve always got to be prepared.

Laura: We like to be chaotic here, especially when we have what I think is a unique chapter for these books, right, Andrew? There’s something that makes this chapter unique as a Harry Potter chapter. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh, yes. So we did actually mention this a couple of weeks ago: People don’t know this, but we actually have a research team behind the scenes at MuggleCast. We don’t talk about them much. They’re a crackpot group of researchers we employ; they’ve got decades of experience on the web. They’re sometimes known to Muggles as ChatGPT and Google.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: And we consulted our crackpot research team, and we found that this is the shortest chapter in the Harry Potter series.

Eric: Wow.

Andrew: So let’s see how long this episode will be. [laughs]

Laura: Like, six pages, right? Six and a half?

Andrew: Yeah. Hey, but that’s okay.

Laura: Yeah, it’s fine. What’s so funny about it is it is such a quick chapter, but a lot happens here. And we’re going to try and really capture some some of the big moments from this chapter because I would say there are three big items, but you could probably make an argument for four or five depending on how you want to break them up. But this chapter really picks up where we left off last time: The trio, Remus and Sirius, unconscious Snape, Crookshanks, Pettigrew are all exiting the tunnel that originates underneath the Whomping Willow. And there’s this one shining moment. Harry gets these glimmers of hope throughout the series – they don’t tend to last very long – and this is one of them. He has it officially confirmed – although he already knew – Sirius reminds him, “Hey, I’m your godfather,” and there’s this touching exchange the two of them have where Sirius is almost bashful, almost maybe embarrassed, a little bit apprehensive, afraid of what Harry is going to say. I imagine him shuffling his feet. It doesn’t say this in the chapter, but I’m imagining him shuffling his feet, avoiding eye contact and saying, “Hey, you know, I’m your godfather, and if you wanted to come live with me you can, but I totally understand it if you didn’t want to, totally get it if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle,” even though Sirius knows Harry’s aunt and uncle suck. He knows this.

Andrew: Yeah, it feels like a first date sort of thing almost.

Laura: It does! It really does.

Eric: Aww.

Andrew: “Does he like me? Does he not?”

Laura: Well, think about what these two have been through.

Eric: In such a short amount of time, because 20 minutes ago Harry wanted to murder this guy. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I mean, Harry attacked him a couple chapters ago.

Eric: Yeah, but new circumstances. I feel like just the shock of Scabbers, who they’ve known for three years, being this man, this Peter Pettigrew, servant of Voldemort, and everything that’s happened, has shocked Harry into this position of “Anything is possible.” And the idea of Sirius being Harry’s godfather was so disgusting to Harry back when he thought he was a murderer, but now it’s this amazing out. It’s this amazing solution to all of Harry’s troubles at home. And I hate how hopeful it is because your heart, reading this, just soars for an instant. It’s so touching, and you’re like, “Harry is finally going to be with his people out of Hogwarts.”

Laura: Yeah. As a first time reader, you think that, right? But if you’ve read the whole series and you’re revisiting it like we are, what really makes this tragic is this could have never been because of the blood magic that provides protection to Harry.

Eric: Do you think Dumbledore wouldn’t have allowed it?

Laura: So, this was actually a question I wanted to kick off this discussion with. I have a “What if?”

[“What if?” sound effect plays]

Laura: What if Peter – or Scabbergrew – had not escaped and Sirius’s innocence had been provable? Would Dumbledore have been forced to explain Harry’s blood protection sooner?

Eric: [imitating Dumbledore] “Sorry, Harry. For reasons, you can’t go to Sirius.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s interesting because currently… by Book 5, Grimmauld Place is set up with the Fidelius Charm, right? So that is as secure as the Potters were from Voldemort. So on the one hand, we’ve seen that fail and Voldemort got through it because they didn’t trust the right guy. But I feel like Grimmauld place is pretty secure. It might not be as good the magic as Dumbledore set up for Petunia and Vernon, but I feel like somebody could argue with Dumbledore that Grimmauld Place is the better place for Harry to be brought up, and he’ll just have to friggin’ cope.

Micah: Yeah, one thing that comes to mind is I don’t think that Harry needs to stay for long periods of time with the Dursleys, he just needs to return there.

Andrew: Yes.

Micah: We see that happen in other books, where… like the next one, he’s off to the Quidditch World Cup very early on in his stay at Privet Drive. So I think maybe he would have to take a little bit of a trip there, even if he didn’t want to, and I’m sure the Dursleys would be totally fine with that, too, by the way, Harry only staying for one night. And then he could go to live with Sirius.

Andrew: I don’t know if this ended up being canon or not, but I seem to remember that the deal was, like you’re saying, a check-in once a year to re-up your subscription, your commitment, and then that’s enough.

Laura: Yeah, they just had to welcome him into their home; “welcome” here being a very relative term.

Andrew: “Remember my last, Petunia.”

Laura; But this still means that Dumbledore has to explain something to Harry because otherwise, Harry is going to be like, “Why do I have to go back there ever?”

Eric: It does put Dumbledore in an uncomfortable position to explain more than I think he’d be willing to.

Laura: Well, it also exposes Harry to Kreacher in Book 3, as opposed to Book 5, and that could be a problem too.

Eric: Guess what? SPEW never happens because Hermione is introduced to Kreacher also.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: Oh my God. I also want to ask, in this hypothetical, would the Ministry have even allowed Harry to live with Sirius? I’ve seen a couple of comments in the Discord calling out that from a legal perspective, it wouldn’t matter; Sirius could override anyone telling him no because he is appointed Godfather. But justice under the law is not a thing in the wizarding world. [laughs] And I wonder how long it would have taken for the Ministry to truly expunge Sirius’s record and absolve him of any wrongdoing. I mean, look at how hesitant they are to even acknowledge the possibility that Voldemort could still be out there. I just don’t see Fudge tipping his bowler cap, and saying, “Oh, well, I guess we screwed that one up. Sorry, Sirius. Go live with your godson.”

Eric: Well, it’s funny because you do get a scene of that in the “Other Minister” chapter. [laughs] “Oh, it turns out he was not who we thought he was.” But it really is… the thing that’s most hopeful about this scene, right, with Sirius and Harry, is that Fudge is right up at the castle, and it’s a short walk, and Pettigrew is in chains. And you’re like, “They’re just going to introduce him and it’s going to be a pre-“He’s back” moment of “He’s alive.” Fudge will see Pettigrew and all will be well, and you want that to be the case. But to your point, Laura, the Ministry isn’t great at reparations. The Ministry isn’t great at acknowledging they’ve really had this witch hunt, they’ve put all these children through the Dementor bubble this whole year for basically the wrong man. And there’s arguments to be made of “They couldn’t have known the difference,” but it’s interesting to see how much freedom Sirius really would get back and how quickly that freedom would be forthcoming.

Micah: The one thing I think that’s working for Fudge is that he was not in power when Sirius was initially arrested and taken off to Azkaban, so he could easily place blame on who was Minister at the time for botching the whole thing. I think we would see a pretty big coverup of sorts on the part of the Ministry if in fact this whole scenario played itself out in this way. But I’ve got to imagine, too, just the exposure of Grimmauld Place to the larger wizarding world would be problematic, similar to what you were saying earlier about Kreacher. Grimmauld Place becomes such a place of refuge for the Order, for it to have such common knowledge in terms of being this place that Harry Potter lives every summer before he goes back to school, I think would cause some more problems for them too.

Eric: They might still be able to keep it secret where Harry is living, like he’s a pretty big celebrity living in the heart of London. He’s in St. John’s Wood, but it’s like, okay, you can’t really know where it is. I think Harry would understand that there’s still protections around telling people where he lives.

Micah: It is funny, though, Laura, that you have listed here “For one shining moment…” because in my mind, it conjures up the Luther Vandross song “One Shining Moment” that plays at the end of every NCAA tournament.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Micah: I don’t know if anybody on here has ever heard it before.

Eric: Nope, never heard it.

Micah: But I almost imagine Harry and Sirius looking up at Hogwarts like they do in the movie, and that’s playing it off in the background.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I thought it was because like, moon-shining moment, because the moon shines and then all goes to hell.

Laura: Yeah. It’s a double entendre, right?

Andrew: It’s whenever you want it to mean.

Laura: It’s metaphorically a shining moment for Harry, but they’re literally about to have a shining moment and it’s not going to go very well for them.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: The thing about this, what makes it so sad, too, for me, is that Harry immediately leaps on it. “Do you have a place? When can I move in?” I mean, kind of a nod Grimmauld Place there.

Micah: Well, it’s a 13-year-old’s reaction. He finally feels like he can purge himself of the Dursleys, so he’s super excited about it.

Andrew: Right.

Micah: But if we put on our adult hat for a second, are we cool with Harry going to live with some strange dude he’s only known for 20 minutes?

Andrew: Well, yeah. So Harry’s not thinking that through, but everybody around him who supports him, the other adults are likely in favor, and I guess that’s really all that matters. I think we also have to remember how this book began, when we were talking about the earliest chapters 18-19 weeks ago with what happened with Aunt Marge. You look at that versus what Sirius is offering, you can see why Harry is so excited about it.

Eric: The bar is so low with the Dursleys. Literally anybody he lives with is better than the Dursleys. And for me, Lily and James already did that vetting when they asked Sirius to be Harry’s godfather; that was the vote of “You’re competent and can do this.” Harry doesn’t need to do additional scrutinizing about this. Sirius at that time would quickly… when Harry says, “When can I move in?” Sirius smiles and it’s this amazing moment in this chapter, where it says, “For the first time, Harry saw the man that had been in the wedding photo of his parents,” the best man shining through, the smile broke through and he was young again. Sirius really would have been that dude, he would have been the same dude that that Lily and James trusted to protect and raise Harry, he would have been a good godparent.

Micah: I’m going to play a little bit of devil’s advocate because I’m not so sure. And we see moments of this over the course of the next several books: Is he seeing Harry or is he seeing James? And what truly was the effect of him spending 12 years in Azkaban? Lily and James giving a vote of confidence to a Sirius that was still their friend and Order member is very different than a vote of confidence to somebody who is just coming off an extremely traumatic experience of having spent 12 years in prison. So I’m not sure Sirius is the best person to care for Harry.

Laura: I feel like he would need a lot of support, for sure. Almost like he would need to depend heavily on the Weasleys to help him reintegrate into society.

Micah: We see how that goes in Order of the Phoenix.

Laura: Yeah, I know, I know.

Eric: Well, Molly gets possessive.

Laura: He and Molly butt heads.

Andrew: And it is just during the summer. In theory, Harry is going to have friends over, he’ll go stay with his friends for a week or two… there will be stuff to keep him busy that isn’t just sitting around with Sirius waiting for Sirius to make him breakfast.

Eric: Think of all the stories that Sirius could tell Harry about stuff about his parents, how they met, how they got along. These are things that never get to happen because when Harry is living at Sirius’s house, they’re all bogged down by plot stuff in Book 5. It really could have been a nice several months both after this book and after the fourth book that I think would have been a really big time to heal. And the whole “Sirius only sees James” is slander, and it’s unfair for Molly to throw that at Sirius when she does, and I don’t think it represents the full picture of the man that Sirius would have been at this moment if all had gone well.

Laura: Yeah, I think that’s a fair statement. I mean, all of the problems… and I agree they are problems; Sirius is socially and emotionally stunted, and it’s not his fault. Something horrible and traumatic happened to him. He spent the prime years of his young adulthood wrongfully imprisoned, and that is going to mess you up; there’s no way that it doesn’t. But I think that he would have been set on a very different trajectory had the events of this night played out differently. So I think Sirius would still have some work to do. I think the benefit is that Harry, because of his upbringing with the Dursleys, has been forced from a very young age to care for himself and to have a level of independence. So I don’t know that Sirius would have to play a parent role with Harry in a traditional sense, because he is so self sufficient. We’ll never know what would have happened, unfortunately.

Eric: We’ll never know. It’s just, for me reading this the first time, I still remember how much of a game changer it felt like it might be, because at this point we’ve had three books that are very formulaic as they start out: Harry is at home on Privet Drive. And the idea of Harry starting a book somewhere else had never occurred to me, so it’s just like, “Oh my God, are we going to get June/July with Sirius and Harry hanging out?” It’ll basically be like Harry hanging out in Diagon Alley in this book, but before and after every year, just like he’s free to roam about. He has all the answers to all his past and all this stuff. That’s what I wanted out of this living situation. I just felt that I had never considered that the books would stray so far from Harry starting and ending at Privet Drive, and of course, they don’t, but it was a really titillating possibility.

Laura: Yeah, somebody should write a fan fiction. Eric, there’s an idea for you. [laughs]

Eric: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. Yeah, I’ve got to finish the other one, but this one will be next.

Laura: Well, we’re going to get back into the reality of what happens in this chapter, which is much sadder than the alternate universe that we just imagined. But first, I just have to call out a quick Lol moment: As they’re leaving the tunnel, of course Snape is unconscious and Sirius is levitating his unconscious body, and Snape keeps bumping his head against the low ceiling of the passageway, and the text notes that “Harry had the impression Sirius was making no effort to prevent this.” [laughs]

Andrew: It is really funny because it’s so easy to imagine, too, his body just floating and scraping the ceiling. Poor Snape. I feel bad for Snape.

Micah: I can’t imagine why Alan Rickman didn’t agree to this in the films.

Andrew: You think he didn’t? Do you think they were thinking of doing it?

Micah: Well, they changed the entire dynamic of how the situation plays out and that’s probably worth discussing at some point, too, because it is not Sirius; it’s Snape that jumps in front of the trio to protect them in the film. So I wonder if that foresight of Alan Rickman knowing the importance of Snape’s character and his love of Lily, did they change that scene accordingly?

Andrew: I see.

Eric: I wonder.

Andrew: Well, they should MAX this. This would be a light moment for the TV show for sure to see.

Laura: Yeah, I agree.

Eric: It does show the level of I guess immaturity, though, that Sirius and Snape… yeah, they’ve never seen eye to eye, but Sirius is still getting those jabs in. He’s still physically harming Snape whenever he can. And yeah, Snape sucks, but come on, man.

Laura: Yeah. And he’s doing it to him in the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack, the same place where he tried to play another very nasty trick on him when they were in school together.

Eric: Yeah, too soon.

Laura: Well, back to this really unique parade of people we have moving across the Hogwarts grounds. As a reminder, Lupin and Ron are chained to Peter to keep him from escaping. I know we have some questions about this particular arrangement and why there weren’t maybe some more secure measures put in place, but I wanted to call out this moment as they’re moving across the grounds. At this point, there’s still cloud cover. The full moon is not visible. The moonlight isn’t hitting Remus. And as they emerge, Lupin threatens Peter; he’s pointing his wand at him and he just says, “One wrong move, Peter,” and he’s got the wand pointed at Peter’s chest. And I’m wondering, in this moment, is Lupin not necessarily threatening Peter beyond what has already been threatened, but is he realizing as he emerges into the night, “Oh my God, I didn’t take my potion tonight”? Is that awareness starting to set in for him?

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: And does he have this realization of, “Oh, I can’t do anything right now, but if the cloud cover clears, we’re screwed”?

Andrew: Yeah, which is also interesting that the moon has to be visible. If it’s a full moon, it’s a full moon; it shouldn’t be dependent on the weather.

Eric: No, you’re right there. That’s definitely a weird kind of janky thing.

Andrew: Yeah. Lupin should have been tracking this. He should be tracking it every month.

Eric: He needs an app, a moon cycles tracking app. Yeah. Let it go off.

Laura: You know, such things do exist for monthly tracking of other…

Eric: Cycles?

Andrew: Cycles.

Laura: … cycles, yes, exactly.

Andrew: Like, I bicycle, and I track that.

Laura: [laughs] But also, I mean, if we’re making that particular comparison – if you know, you know – you feel changes in your body when that time is coming up, and I have to imagine Lupin is going through a similar phase.

Eric: Well, absolutely. Absolutely.

Andrew: And also, you see the moon phases every night. It doesn’t pop out of nowhere. [laughs]

Eric: He could feel himself about to transform, he’s on edge… earlier in the year, he was looking more haggard as the moon approached. I get it that adrenaline has suppressed some of that awareness, but it wouldn’t really suppress it all, especially now that things have calmed down. Lupin should have had the awareness to not go out with them. Let him stay in the Shrieking Shack. He’s like, “You guys, I’m done. I should stay here.” Because unfortunately… obviously we have to blame Lupin here for it all getting derailed a little bit.

Laura: Yeah. I think, too, this just… I think it shows Lupin’s limitations in a way. When he’s presented with that degree of life-altering emotional upheaval, I think it’s very reasonable to say that anyone would lose sight of what’s going on around them. But again, he knew that he had to take his potion that day. He was waiting for his potion when he saw everything on the map.

Eric: And he’s been told twice that he didn’t… yeah.

Laura: It’s been brought up a couple of times, so it’s definitely a miss for him. But to Andrew’s question about it actually needing to be the light of the full moon to cause the transformation, I’m just wondering: If it has to be the light, if he were just covered head to toe with a cloak would he be okay?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: How about with sunscreen? Moonscreen?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: There’s the title.

Laura: Moonscreen, that’s the episode title.

Andrew: Where’s the moonscreen?

Eric: Oh my God.

Laura: No moon tan for Remus. [laughs]

Andrew: No, it is a good question. I guess we have to always set aside for the plot, for the story, but that is… I don’t know. It is hard to get past this whole… I guess just for dramatic effect, the moon needs to reveal itself and bathe you in moonlight.

Eric: It’s amazing. It’s very cinematically written how everything occurs. And it obviously… when it all goes to hell in the movie, it’s equally like, “Oh no.”

Micah: I don’t think a cloak would protect Lupin, particularly because we have to assume that if he was in the castle, there’s no moonlight shining through there, depending on what room he’s in. And so we could argue, then, if a cloak would protect him, that being in a dark dungeon somewhere would protect him as well.

Laura: Are we saying this is a plot hole?

Andrew: Yes.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I think it’s a plot hole. Also, because is he fully transformed for the entire few days that the full moon is a full moon? Even during the daytime, is he transformed? Because the moon is still there and the moon is still full, even though the sun makes you not be able to see it. How does it all work? We don’t know.

Laura: I think so because he has to miss classes, and he also notes that when he takes the Wolfsbane Potion, it allows him to curl up as a normal wolf under his desk for a few days.

Eric: This is not new to Lupin. At this point, this habit is way in there.

Laura: I want to call out something that’s being mentioned in our Discord by Court about Lupin’s transformation and the the timing of it, and the needing to anticipate this transformation and the effects it’s going to have on his life. Court is saying, “On the real, this is such a relatable moment for chronic illness sufferers. There is this weird, almost subconscious resistance to taking or remembering meds sometimes that’s very common for us.” So I think that, Court, thank you for sharing that. It’s really great perspective, right? It makes sense that you would want to not have your entire life schedule defined by this thing, right? So it may be fair to point out that maybe we’re being too hard on Lupin here.

Andrew: Yeah, and I think taking the medicine on any sort of schedule is going to be an uncomfortable reminder of your reality.

Laura: Yeah, that’s a great callout. Thanks, Court.

Micah: It’s the heat of the moment, too, I think. Eric, you mentioned the adrenaline earlier; we have to remember what’s happening here. This is a major life-altering reveal for Lupin and everybody involved, and I think the last thing on his mind is that he might transform into a werewolf or that he should have taken his potion. No? For Lupin and for Sirius, this has to be top of the list in terms of major life moments up until this point.

Eric: Yeah, you’re absolutely right. And it is important to show that Lupin, our favorite teacher, and up to this point, can do no wrong… these are the types of weaknesses that he has talked about. Lupin has a soft spot when it comes to his friends breaking rules, and Lupin really can’t be everywhere at once and really can’t juggle truly everything that’s been put on him. And so it’s actually perfect that he fails so hard this time because he needed to have that flaw, I think. Otherwise, he would have been the perfect character – like, unrealistically perfect character.

Laura: I wanted to… before we move on here, Micah, I know you had a point. And maybe this is the big failure of the chapter more than anything about Pettigrew.

Micah: [laughs] You alluded to this a little bit earlier, but one of the things that jumped into mind for me was, why is Pettigrew not completely immobilized in some way? It’s taken so long to expose him, you would think that every measure possible would be taken by Lupin and Sirius to ensure that regardless of whatever may happen – and we know that something big is about to happen – that Pettigrew just can’t escape. Think of the condition Snape is in just a few feet away; something similar could be done here to Pettigrew.

Andrew: Or have him transform back into Scabbers so Ron can spend a little more time with his buddy before he never sees him again, and put him in a hamster wheel, a hamster ball, and that’s it. And have Ron hold him.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, yeah, but there’s Immobulus, there’s Petrificus Totalus, there’s Imperius. Don’t allow Peter the autonomy to perp walk him all the way up to the castle because he’s going to be looking for any out, and Lupin gets it; he even says to Peter, “One wrong move…” But don’t give him that option. The irony of this is that Snape, if he were awoke right now, if Snape came back to consciousness, he would have remembered about the potion and not let Lupin endanger them all by leaving the Shrieking Shack. And he would have been face to face with Peter. And we’ve talked on I think the previous week what that would look like, whether Peter would be allowed to leave the shack alive. But Snape would have helped with this whole situation, had he been… instead Sirius wants to keep bobbing his head on the cave thing, but they should have actually resuscitated Snape in that moment to better help Peter, or made Peter the same amount of unconsciousness that Snape was.

Laura: Well, as we established, Harry doesn’t get to bask in the glow of having a godfather that he can escape the Dursleys to go live with because Lupin is now basking in the glow of the moonlight. So we’re going to talk about the transformation: He is described as having gone rigid, his limbs began to shake, his head was lengthening and so was his body, his shoulders were hunching, hair was sprouting visibly on his face and hands, which were curling into clawed paws. This is actually a very frightening scene.

Micah: Totally.

Laura: I had forgotten the way this was described in the books.

Micah: And I would say mostly because it’s a total loss of control on the part of Lupin. You can tell now that he is nowhere close to the professor that we all know and love.

Laura: I thought we could speak for a moment about the movie. I did make a point of going back and watching the climax of Prisoner of Azkaban as we prepared to discuss these final chapters. How would we rate the werewolf transformation in the movie?

Andrew: Okay, first of all, I just want to say I would rate it 2003. It’s a different time, folks. Let’s be a little easier – or 2004 it came out, I guess. It was a different time. [laughs]

Micah: So what does that mean? Where are you going with that?

Andrew: I’m just saying go easy on it. The special effect abilities were at a different point.

Micah: Fair. I don’t know that I’m thinking as much along the lines of special effects. Maybe it’s just what he transformed into was not necessarily what I was expecting to see.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: He almost looks a bit like a wet dog; that’s the image that sticks out in my mind. But again, also take into consideration the director in Alfonso Cuarón, kind of that Guillermo del Toro type of mindset that things… I don’t know. They’re not as sterile, not as clean.

Eric: Yeah, they’re not going to look like what you expect them to look like. He can still be a threatening werewolf, man-killing threat without looking like the most vicious beast you’ve ever seen. Like, the Grim in the movie looks as terrifying as the werewolf should look, and the werewolf looks almost defanged.

Andrew: When I look at stills from it right now of werewolf Lupin, I guess maybe – and I could be totally wrong – but maybe part of why they ended up where they did is just because they were trying to think about human elements that may have carried over too.

Micah: I think that’s right.

Eric: Yeah, I will say the design for Lupin in the movie does, I think, completely fit the personality of Lupin as somebody that’s been wounded and somebody that’s suffered their whole life. That wolf looks like it’s suffered its whole life. [laughs] So there is that element of it, but it’s not scary. And what’s weirder is that Hermione is able to do… this is what doesn’t work for me, is the whole meeting call. Or like, she howls like a female wolf and it works to distract Lupin because he’s what, he’s horny?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Like, really? What are we supposed to get out of that? How it works in the movie that Lupin is distracted and runs off… there’s just so many questions that I have. That’s why the movie adaptation I think falls short for me. But the actual design of Lupin… even though I think it ultimately falls flat, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the concept of making him look more wounded or look more like an emaciated kind of wolf.

Micah: Yeah. And I would just add that I think we’ve all grown up probably seeing other depictions of werewolves through our childhood, whether it’s in stories that we read or on TV or in the movies. And so maybe we were coming in with a preconceived notion of what a werewolf should look like, and Alfonso says, “No, hold on. Actually, I’m going to show you what a werewolf is really supposed to look like.”

Eric: There’s still a spectrum. People in the Discord are bringing up American Werewolf in London, and that’s kind of the quintessential transformation scene where you see things that are described in this chapter of the book: hair length, fingers lengthening… actually, it’s mostly silhouette and done in a clever way. But that’s where the body horror aspect comes from it. And that’s not necessarily leaned into, but there’s definitely similarities in the two designs there.

Laura: Well, and I think, too, y’all are raising some good points about there being a spectrum, but also the preconceived notions… I think if we’re going into this story imagining the Universal Studios werewolf aesthetic, you’re going to be disappointed because that’s not what you get here. But if you look at literature, if you look at traditional depictions of werewolves, they do vary wildly. And I was actually surprised when I revisited the climax of Prisoner of Azkaban because in my memory – it had been so long since I saw it – I remembered feeling disappointed in not the transformation but the ultimate werewolf design, and then when I revisited it… sorry, I’m having mad acid reflux right now while we’re recording. [laughs] This is not good timing for it.

Micah: Are you transforming?

[Andrew gasps]

Laura: I hope not. Oh my God, is it a full moon?

Andrew: [laughs] Just stay in the shade and you’ll be fine.

Micah: Quick, grab your moon lotion. Your moonscreen.

Laura: So anyway, I think that what we get in Prisoner of Azkaban is actually not bad. I was surprised when I went back and saw it and realized actually, I think this aesthetic works for the movie. I think the thing that I don’t like is when he initially transforms and he seems like a weak, wounded puppy. Hermione tries to approach. Book Hermione would never.

[Eric laughs]

Laura: Book Hermione knows. She knows all too well not to do that.

Eric: Hermione, a smart character, would never have…

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: She spent the whole year fearing, keeping the secret…

Laura: Right!

Eric: Yeah, she knows not… but that’s the thing, is making him more and more emaciated removes the threat that he’s supposed to pose. So it’s a balancing act that they have to be doing, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Laura: I wanted to ask another question here about the transformation. It’s established in the last chapter that Lupin can be controlled by his friends in their Animagus forms, but Sirius does not have much luck here. Is it because Sirius is out of practice? Is it because Lupin hasn’t been exposed to his Animagus friends in quite some time?

Micah: I think that’s it. I think Lupin the 30-year-old is much harder to control than Lupin the 15-year-old. And to your point, Sirius is probably a bit out of practice; he’s been locked away for 12 years and he hasn’t had to contend in his Animagus form with what’s now a fully grown adult werewolf. I’ve got to imagine that it’s like getting back on a bike after not riding for ten years; you’re probably going to wobble a little bit at the start. And I think that’s what’s happening here.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s an intense and somewhat unpredictable moment. And maybe to some extent, Sirius is also thinking about, “Oh, this is my friend and I have to go after him again, I have to get him under control again.” I mean, I feel like I wouldn’t be all too focused in this moment, especially after all the time that’s passed, and you’re thinking about protecting the kids as well. So there’s just many factors at play in this moment.

Micah: And speaking of being emaciated, Sirius is not in peak physical condition here either, right? We know he’s stronger it seems in dog form, but he’s also not been probably eating well, he hasn’t been taking care of himself… he’s been locked away as we said, so his abilities here are not up to the level that they were when he was back in the school with Lupin.

Eric: And Zeanne in the Discord says, too, there was also Prongs. When Lupin is telling the story two chapters ago about how the big Animagus friends of his were able to keep him in line or keep him in check, that’s Sirius, who’s a big dog, but it’s also James the stag, also another big animal. So I don’t think Sirius alone would have been able to keep Lupin in check, even in peak form. But I think it was the lucky combination of Sirius and James, that I imagine flanked him on either side, that allowed them to safely go about on the Hogwarts grounds in close proximity to humans. They needed both of them, and probably to some extent Peter, to really just snap Lupin out of whatever the werewolf mindset is.

Micah: Yeah, but we do see Sirius immediately jump into action – and we talked a little bit about how the movie differs from this with Snape – but Sirius’s immediate reaction is to protect Harry and Hermione. And this is not all that dissimilar from his protection of others if we’re to go back to his time at Hogwarts when Lupin is transformed in the past. Now, Snape was an exception, in terms of him not choosing to protect him and play a trick on him, but to what was just discussed, Sirius and James very much protected others from Lupin in the past so maybe something in the back of Sirius’s mind kind of clicked when this happened, and he said, “Oh, I really have to stand in here and protect Harry and Hermione.”

Eric: And Sirius has something to live for now, and he’s going to fiercely try and… I mean, everyone is just shook this whole time and that’s why it all fails and goes to hell as nobody was expecting this. But Sirius really wants to fight for the… he’s quickly becoming his old self, to your point about he’s protected people before. Sirius, a heroic character, is going to jump in and really take the brunt of… you feel bad when the author describes his cuts and bruises on his dog body and he’s very weak, and then Harry calls and says, “Pettigrew’s getting away,” and then he immediately springs back to life. It’s very well written.

Laura: And we’ll get into Pettigrew’s escape here in a moment. Thank you all for vamping on that while I chugged a bunch of water to deal with my acid reflux. Kids, I gotta say, mid 30s plus coffee on an empty stomach, not a good combination if you have acid reflux. I’ve got to remind myself I’m not 20 anymore; I can’t do that.

Andrew: See, we educate in all kinds of ways here on this podcast.

Laura: I know, we really do. Very human. [laughs] Kyle in the Discord is like, “Getting old sucks.”

Eric: You could say that again.

Laura: It does. Yes, Court, the 30s hit hard. And then Jen, “Acid reflux is no joke.” I appreciate the the empathy here. But let’s talk about werewolves in literature quickly. Just for a little bit of background, some scholars believe the werewolf made its debut in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the oldest known Western prose, when Gilgamesh jilted a potential lover because she had turned her previous mate into a wolf. Werewolves made another early appearance in Greek mythology with the legend of Lycaon. I’m not sure the right pronunciation on that; someone check me. According to the legend, Lycaon, the son of Pelasgus, angered the god Zeus when he served him a meal made from the remains of a sacrificed boy. As punishment, the enraged Zeus turned Lycaon and his sons into wolves. Ouch.

Eric: Well, that explains, I think, where the author is coming from in trying to make werewolves, in this universe, a threat specifically to humans. Because that cannibalizing aspect lends itself to the threat that Lupin says, “I was definitely a threat to humans.” It means they’re hungry for them, hungry like the wolf [laughs] for human flesh, and that is a lot more terrifying than ever gets realistically depicted.

Laura: Yeah, it’s an interesting, I think, maybe comparison we can make to Fenrir Greyback, too, right? Because we know that he has an affinity for trying to turn kids when they’re young, and here we have this mythological connection to a character trying to serve a god the remains of a sacrificed child. Really messed up. And then just another quick connection here that I think we can all probably recognize, but it’s maybe not immediately apparent. We all grew up, I think, with the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, but if you read the original text of Beauty and the Beast, the narrative does explicitly refer to the beast as a wolf multiple times. Let’s move into Peter and his escape. So Peter uses the chaos of Lupin’s transformation to retake his Animagus form and scurry away, so bye for now, Scabbergrew. Scabbergrew out until Chapter 1 of Goblet of Fire.

Andrew: We knew we couldn’t trust you.

Laura: He was their friend!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, he was.

Laura: Harry doesn’t have long to worry about this, though. He immediately notices that Scabbers has taken off, but he also hears Sirius’s cries down at the lake, and Harry runs down there and finds that Sirius has collapsed. He’s with Hermione, by the way, at the edge of the lake, and is being surrounded by a hundred Dementors.

Micah: Only a hundred.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Just a hundred. No big deal, right?

Andrew: No.

Micah: This made me think, though, and I know we didn’t talk about how Peter attacks Ron, but Harry and Hermione are totally cool leaving Ron and Snape both helpless with a werewolf running around while they go and tend to Sirius.

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about this. And I was rereading it again this morning; they are getting him back towards the school, and I guess they might figure, “Well, we are close enough at this point – and it is a full moon out – for somebody to notice Ron laying here on the castle grounds.” [laughs] “Maybe somebody will notice while we go off.” And I’m not sure their priorities are right here, but Harry has just found out that his dear godfather is going to invite him to stay with him. He feels freshly connected to Sirius, they had this nice bonding moment, and now he could be in serious – pun not intended – danger. I don’t know. I think I see Harry’s reasoning here.

Micah: Yeah, I don’t disagree.

Andrew: And he’s like, “Oh, Ron has been in trouble before, he’s been fine. He survived.”

Micah: He’s with Snape. Snape will protect him.

Andrew: Yeah, he’s with Snape. He’s with passed out Snape.

Laura: Well, there’s also no good answer here, right?

Andrew: Right, that’s ultimately the thing.

Micah: I was going to connect the threads here a little bit maybe because this is another example of Harry carelessly running off to try and save Sirius, which we see in Order of the Phoenix.

Eric: Oh, that’s a good connection.

Laura: It’s a great connection.

Eric: But Harry, too, needs to protect at all costs his potential future. He wants out of the Dursleys, and Sirius is his ticket. And now that…

Andrew: “Sorry, Ron. I want a free summer. I want a better summer. I don’t care what happens to you.”

Laura: Harry wants his hot girl summer, okay?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Hot girl summer.

Eric: More like grim boy summer. [laughs]

Laura: Oh, yeah. It’s unfortunate. Well, as Harry enters the fray with all these Dementors, Hermione by his side, he’s trying to evoke a Patronus using the happy thought that he’s going to go live with Sirius, Sirius is innocent, he’s not going to have to go back to the Dursleys, but Harry’s happy thought isn’t working. He’s barely able to conjure even a wispy Patronus. I was surprised. I’d forgotten about this, but at one point the lead Dementor – which is funny that there’s a lead Dementor…

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: That’s so funny.

Eric: That’s a good point, yeah.

Laura: … literally waves it aside, casts it aside with its scaly hand.

Eric: That’s so threatening. That’s so intimidating.

Laura: Isn’t it?

Andrew: The lead Dementor is just fan-girling over seeing the Chosen One and wants the first kiss.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: The more human that these non human entities behave like, the more terrifying it is. It’s the uncanny valley of like, “Really? You don’t have eyes, but you just saw that and waved it away like it was nothing?”

Laura: Well, why isn’t it working, though? Why isn’t Harry’s happy thought working here?

Micah: So my theory was just that it’s not a memory. Harry can’t use this particular thought inside of his head because it hasn’t actually happened, and there isn’t true happiness that he can draw from it.

Eric: That’s a great possibility for sure.

Andrew: I do like that, and it makes sense to me. But I was also thinking, if I were Harry watching what’s happening to Sirius, I would be trying to think about this happy thought, but in the back of my head, I’m like, “Oh my God, can you believe what’s happening right now? If his soul is sucked out, will I really be living with him?” It’s just such a stressful situation. And we know Harry can conquer these when he needs to, but I don’t know. In the back of my head, I would just be too distracted.

Eric: It is that. It’s really like when Harry didn’t have the fortitude to stop wanting to hear his parents’ voice, he couldn’t do the Patronus because part of him wanted or was distracted by the prospect of hearing his mom again. And so it’s this, but he’s distracted by worrying about Sirius and all that he’s about to lose. So yeah, he can’t have the fortitude that is needed to conjure it.

Micah: Is it similar, then, could we say to Order of the Phoenix when Voldemort tells Harry that you have to mean the Cruciatus Curse when he’s trying to use it on Bellatrix? It’s just, he’s so caught up in everything that’s happening right now that I don’t know that it’s not that he doesn’t mean Expecto Patronum, but he just doesn’t have the… there’s just too much that’s happening around him that he cannot focus on what he needs to do.

Eric: It’s not a strong enough pull, is what it comes down to.

Laura: Yeah. He doesn’t have it in him, I think, is the comparison you’re making, Micah. What is Harry’s most recent truly happy memory in this book? Winning Quidditch?

Andrew: Snape’s face scraping against the top of the tunnel?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: I mean, if Harry chosen that, yeah.

Andrew: That would have worked.

Laura: Oh, Micah, you also had an important point about Hermione’s role in this moment, too, because she’s trying to cast a Patronus and she’s also not successful.

Micah: Right. And I think it’s really important that they show her passing out as well, because this has been such a Harry thing throughout the entire book that “Harry is the only one that’s impacted by the Dementors in this way.” But clearly, Hermione is affected in this moment as well.

Laura: Yeah, that’s a good call-out for sure. So now we’ve got Sirius and Hermione both passed out; they have both succumbed. Harry is the lone party acting as defense between them and these hundred Dementors. And in this moment, we finally get to see what’s under a Dementor’s hood, and it is horrifying. “Where there should have been eyes, there was only thin, gray scabbed skin, stretched blankly over empty sockets. But there was a mouth… a gaping, shapeless hole, sucking the air with the sound of a death rattle.”

Eric: So like The Grudge meets… what’s the one with…? Oculus. [laughs]

Laura: Right. Oh man, Oculus was such a good movie, by the way. Sidebar.

Eric: The thing is, yeah, it’s very tame almost by current horror standards. But in 2004, I think this was… and to all children everywhere, this is perfectly terrifying.

Laura: Yeah, it really… I mean, imagine seeing something like this in person.

Eric: Well, and knowing what it means. Knowing what it means that the only people who see this are about to lose everything that matters.

Laura: Yeah. And to that point, the lead Dementor, the chief Dementor, sheriff Dementor, whatever we want to call him…

Andrew: [laughs] Sheriff.

Laura: … is going after Harry first. He’s going to perform the Kiss on Harry. So first of all, clearly the Dementors do not discern, that much is clear, so why they were allowed to be at a school the entire year is an ongoing question I don’t think we’re ever going to have the answer to.

Andrew: It speaks to just how bad of a decision it was.

Micah: DumbleDip.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: That was an old episode too, I think. DumbleDip.

Andrew: Yeah, it rings a bell.

Micah: Is it Hagrid a little bit later on in this book that talks about how the Dementors just don’t, to your point, discern at all? They just feast, essentially.

Andrew: [in a spooky voice] Feast. Feat on my lips.

Eric: Well, and they’ve been kept starved, basically, which is a real issue of contention for them. But what I like about this… I’ve never thought about this before, but Sirius talking about how he was less affected by the Dementors when he was in dog form, shows how Pettigrew is able to get through a hundred Dementors. Because in animal form, they wouldn’t have the same effect on him either. So it’s not a plot hole. It’s the opposite of a plot hole; it’s reasonable that Pettigrew is long gone by now.

Laura: And I want to just connect a thread here quickly. Harry has had close contact with a Dementor prior to the events of Order of the Phoenix, only difference is in Order of the Phoenix, that encounter happens early in the book. In Prisoner of Azkaban, this one happens towards the end. But when all seems to be lost, a brightly lit animal gallops onto the scene and disperses the Dementors, saving Harry, Sirius, and Hermione, and in the distance he thinks he sees someone but he can’t quite believe it.

Andrew: [gasps] What?

Eric: It’s Dumbledore to the rescue!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Dumbledore and his DumbleDip, which I’m now thinking about.

Micah: No, I mean, it’s hard to reflect back when we first read the book, but Dumbledore would be a good possibility here.

Andrew: Yeah, because where has he been? Oh, now he comes and… always there when you do need him at the last moment.

Laura: But why would Harry be like, “No, it can’t be” if it was just Dumbledore?

Eric: We just don’t know. There’s not enough information.

Laura: Yeah. I just want to call out here how disappointing this must have been for the Dementor.

[Eric laughs]

Laura: It’s like, chapter title “Dementor’s Kiss,” finally thinks it’s going to happen…

Eric: “I’m going to get kissed!” Never Been Kissed but it’s a Dementor.

Laura: [laughs] Somebody please use AI to recreate that movie poster but with a Dementor.

Eric: Instead of Drew Barrymore, yeah. And Freddie Prinze, Jr. is in the background.

Micah: What happens to them if they don’t get enough kisses?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Micah: Do they just wither away to nothing?

Eric: Listen, they have a quota that they need to meet in order to survive.

Laura: Yeah, especially when they get to the end of the month and they haven’t hit those quotas. Sheriff Dementor is like, “You’ve got to go out and give more kisses.”

Eric: Warden Dementor is like, “You guys, the budget.” Yeah.

Laura: So yeah, no Dementor’s Kiss in this chapter.

Micah: Aww, bummer.

Laura: And that’s where we leave off. So I think now we can get into MVP of the week.


MVP of the Week


[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: I’m going to give it to the top of the tunnel for scraping up Snape…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: … and Sirius being cool with it. Just all of that because it was funny.

Eric: I’m going to give it to Sirius not for his immaturity, but for taking the brunt of Lupin’s attack. Good for him.

Micah: I’ve got to give it to Crookshanks for being smart enough to peace out when [censored] gets real. Kitty knew. Kitty was like, “I see werewolf, I’m out of here.”

Andrew: Kitty knew. [laughs]

Laura: And I’m going to give it to Peter for the second time this book.

Eric: Ugh.

Laura: Listen, listen, he sucks, but he made another Trelawney prediction come true, so give it to him for that.

Eric: [laughs] Oh my God, Peter and Trelawney are linked cosmically.

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Laura: Do you think she slid him a few Galleons under the table?

Eric: [imitating Trelawney] “Can you make this happen?”

Laura: [laughs] At the Christmas feast, she was paying him off.

Andrew: If you have any feedback about today’s episode or any other episodes, you can send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com or use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. You can also send a voice message; just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file, or you can use our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE. That’s 1-920-368-4453. Speaking of feedback, we have this email we’ve been wanting to get to for a couple of weeks. It’s from Luke the 11-year-old, and he said,

“Hey, y’all, this is extremely late, but I seem to be turning into a ‘When in doubt, email MuggleCast‘ type of person. So I reread Chamber of Secrets last night, and I was tripped up by something Tom said. The quote is, ‘Hagrid, trying to raise werewolf pups under his bed.’ So werewolves are only werewolves once a month, so is Hagrid raising children under his bed? Your big fan, Luke.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Luke, thank you for bringing this to our attention.

Micah: This is great.

Laura: Yeah, this is another kind of plot hole with the way werewolves are written in these books.

Eric: It raises a million questions.

Laura: It really does.

Eric: This could be another example of werewolves not being fleshed out in the right way at the time that that line was originally written.

Laura: I think so.

Micah: It just sounds like something Hagrid would do also.

Eric: Yeah. And then again, maybe Tom was exaggerating a little bit. Maybe it was a little bit of hyperbole. Maybe the first thing that came to mind was werewolf cubs, and his baby Acromantulas are not the same thing as… I think that it could have been a little exaggeration on Tom Riddle’s part because he was recalling back 50 years ago at that point.

Micah: Oh, he’s trying to paint the picture of Hagrid into being this degenerate of sorts.

Eric: Yeah, or just reckless with dangerous creatures.

Laura: Yeah, but I feel like we also know Tom/Voldemort to be really knowledgeable. Usually when he’s speaking about things in the wizarding world, it’s through a really messed-up lens, but he’s not infactual. [laughs] So it’s interesting and it raises a question about is lycanthropy genetic? Is it hereditary? I don’t think it can be, because Teddy Lupin isn’t a werewolf or part werewolf, right? So if these are cubs, that implies they’re babies. So were they born werewolves? I don’t know how that works.

Eric: Well, maybe if a witch was transformed into a werewolf and gave birth while she was transformed, you could get cubs. But again, are they children most of the month? Luke has really cracked into something here.

Micah: I’m also wondering, how long has Luke been an 11 year old? Because I feel like we’ve heard from him a couple of times now at this point.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Well, I think some people catch onto y’all, pick up the thread that you guys see “11” or “12 years old” and the emails move up the priority list. [laughs] Maybe Luke caught on.

Eric: Whoa, whoa. Nobody said anything about that. Don’t give people a MuggleCast hack here. It’s true, we’ve heard from 13- and 14-year-olds more often in the last three months.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. We love all the feedback.

Laura: No, I love it.

Andrew: Well, thank you, Luke, for that. Next week we won’t do the Time-Turner chapter because we will actually be off – it’s a holiday here in America – but we will be releasing an episode. We’re going to release the live MuggleCast from LeakyCon that Micah, Eric, and Chloé did. somebody else was on the panel. Was it Melissa? Who was…?

Eric: Melissa joined us.

Micah: Melissa was for a bit.

Eric: But also, listeners in the audience. We did a lot of audience participation games; we brought back Make the Connection and Dueling Club, as well as playing a game called “Is MuggleCast older than…?” which was a lot of fun.

Andrew: Oh, fun. Because it was our birthday weekend when you guys recorded that.

Micah: It was. We gave away some prizes.

Andrew: So stay tuned for that next week, and then we’ll resume Chapter by Chapter most likely the week after that. And now it’s time for Quizzitch.


Quizzitch


[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question, who leads the group first out of the Shrieking Shack? The correct answer is Crookshanks, of course.

Micah: My MVP.

Eric: Yeah, your MVP. Somebody going by Lupin’s abandoned Wolfsbane Potion, insert wizard facepalm emoji, has answered, “His Royal Highness King Crookshanks, the first, the last, and the only.”

Laura: [laughs] First of his name.

Andrew: Beautiful.

Eric: Yeah, a little bit of eccentricity on both ends of that form. [laughs] But here were the additional winners: Nuggets for Norbert; Otto the Hall of Fame orange; Pillsbury Dumbledore-dough; Potter’s plotters; Remus more like dumbass…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: … Take your vitamins, Wolfy McWolfson; Elizabeth K.; Grant Chapman; Hollow Wolf; Defend Dumbledore; Buff daddy; Am I the Swedish version of Eric’s cat, Marta? Oh, yeah, probably. [laughs] And others. Also, somebody asked, “Do Lupin and Madam Pomfrey give out milk chocolate or dark chocolate? I need to know this.” I don’t know. We don’t know. Maybe that’ll be another Quizzitch question. But here is next week’s real Quizzitch question: How old was Sirius Black when he played the trick on Snape with Lupin? The answer to this question can be found in the next chapter, which, as Andrew said, we will be getting to not next week.

Micah: So you’ve got two weeks to get this one right.

Eric: That’s exactly it. Submit your answer to us on the Quizzitch form, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or go to MuggleCast.com and click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav.

Andrew: If you’re an Apple Podcasts user and you haven’t supported us on Patreon, why not right within Apple Podcasts? For just $2.99 a month, you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcasts app. Patreon does offer more benefits, including bonus MuggleCast, but maybe you just prefer to use your Apple account; that’s fine. And just like on Patreon, we’ve got a free trial and an annual subscription, which can actually help you save a little bit of money. And of course, I mentioned Patreon: Patreon.com/MuggleCast. Your support, no matter where you support us, it really does help us run the show, so thank you, everybody. And if you’re a Spotify user, tap into the show and you’ll see a Patreon banner right there now, and you can actually connect your Patreon account to Spotify and then get all of our exclusive Patreon benefits right within Spotify, which is really great. So definitely check that out too. If you enjoy MuggleCast and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about the show. And we would also appreciate if you left a review in your favorite podcast app. And last but not least, don’t forget to follow us on social media. Our username is @MuggleCast everywhere: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Threads, which we’re still sticking with for now.

Micah: And one final announcement because I know that this Friday is September 1, so I just want to wish everybody a happy Back to Hogwarts. Choo-choo.

Andrew: Choo-choo, yes!

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Happy Back to Hogwarts. [emotionally] Another year about to start. Another summer gone. [laughs]

Laura: What are we all about to be? We’re going to be 20th years or something like that if we were going back to Hogwarts. [laughs]

Andrew: 19 or 20, yep. All right, well, thanks, everybody for listening. Have a great year at Hogwarts. Your Harry Potter friends will still be here talking about the books in the year ahead. I’m acting like we’re actually going to school. [laughs] Thanks, everybody for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: Bye, everyone.

Laura: Bye, y’all.

Micah: Choo-choo.

Transcript #623

 

MuggleCast 623 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #623, Double Double-Crosser (POA Chapter 19, The Servant of Lord Voldemort)



Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And this week, get ready to cast your best Revelio, because we’re going to turn a rat into a human traitor.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: This is a big chapter. It’s a big info dump chapter, too.

Eric: Indeed.

Andrew: Still much to discuss. But first, gang, we have another announcement. We’ve just been dropping announcements left and right this summer, I feel. Busy times at MuggleCast.

Micah: Oh, thanks, Andrew.

Andrew: Last year…

Micah: Oh, I thought you’re going to say happy birthday.

Andrew: Oh, that’s not in our doc. I mean, if you want to add your own birthday announcement.

Eric: Yeah, that’s nowhere here. We don’t have anything about that here.

Andrew: Happy belated birthday, Micah. How was your birthday?

Micah: It was great, thanks so much for asking.

Eric: Micah, we made you a cake, Chloé and I, earlier this month.

Micah: You did. I did want to say, though, the thought that went into that at LeakyCon was very much appreciated.

Eric: I needed something we could easily convert into the pink Harry Hagrid birthday cake, and that one was already already mostly pink, so I just had to get a little bit of icing and writing.

Micah: Yeah, there was additional work that Eric and Chloé did on top of just getting the cake itself, so I really appreciate that.

Andrew: Awesome.

Eric: Yeah, we sang happy birthday and that video is on our story.

Laura: It was very sweet.

Andrew: Yes, it was. That was the additional work that went into your birthday this year, Micah. There was no video message from the three of us.

[Eric and Micah laugh]

Micah: I was going to say, I was expecting Dan Fogler to jump out at some point.

Andrew: Oh, plus, I mean, that’s worth five birthdays, I think. [laughs]

Micah: It really was.

Eric: We’ll just repost that to socials. That’ll be great.

Andrew: Yeah, why not? Why not? It’s evergreen.

Micah: But please, continue with your announcements.

Andrew: So last year, we introduced the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. This is a five-year club program, and each year between now and 2026, we’re sending four to five exclusive brand new stickers that celebrate the show’s past and present. And we’re also giving you this beautiful – seriously beautiful – Collector’s Club card, in which you can place the stickers. So think of State Quarter Program when we were kids; you pop the quarters into the map, it was really cool. Basically very similar to that. So we unveiled, of course, the year one stickers with last year’s announcement, and now we are ready to share year two’s stickers, and I thought we could take turns sharing brief details about each sticker. So I’ll just go first. We’re going to send everybody a Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul sticker. This one… again, really clever art we did this year. We’ve got little souls floating out of MuggleCast soul can.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: Sticker two is – this really takes it back – my first iPod version, I think it was fifth generation scroll wheel iPod, with MuggleCast pulled up and little headphones coming out of it. Nice little icon there of how it may have looked if you, like many are saying, have listened to us on that old, ancient technology.

Micah: We also have an iconic Hogwarts on fire sticker, which is just fully representative of the fact that Hogwarts is a security nightmare. And this may be one of my favorites. Initially I didn’t know, was it from Deathly Hallows – Part 2? But no, it is…

Andrew: Oh, that’s a good point.

Micah: Maybe it serves both.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s whatever you want it to be.

Laura: I feel like it’s evergreen. Hogwarts is always on fire, physically or metaphorically.

Micah: [laughs] In some respect. It’s a great point.

Laura: The next one we have is the Union Jack flag with “British joke” in the center. This is paying homage to OG MuggleCast host Jamie, who was the one Brit on our panel, and he used to tell a British joke of the week. Highly recommend going back and listening to some of those earlier episodes if you want to get a taste of what Jamie’s hosting was like, and what it was like to actually have a British person on a Harry Potter podcast.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I was thinking about that. We had some some authenticity there a while ago.

Laura: We did.

Micah: I was trying to think if his jokes would be 2023 appropriate, but his jokes were usually pretty corny, from what I remember.

Laura: Yeah, they were dad jokes. That’s honestly…

Micah: Which is appropriate for him now, since he is a dad.

Andrew: And then the fifth sticker is actually a tier-based exclusive. So if you’re a Dumbledore’s Army patron, you’re going to get a sticker with Dumbledore and two characters behind him and it says the DA, and that’s a sticker just for $5 patrons. And then the Slug Club patrons are going to receive a Slug Club sticker, and this one has two slugs, clinking glasses, champagne glasses. They are slugs in a club. We took it pretty literally.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: This is the cutest design I’ve ever seen.

Andrew: It is, it is. So that’s a fun twist we’re trying this year, doing these tier-based exclusives, and we’ve got a couple other ideas for some surprises in the years ahead. So those are the stickers, the year two stickers as part of the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. This is the only year you can get these stickers; you have to remain pledged each year to receive all of the stickers. Year one stickers are no longer available. That said, we will have these blanks, blank stickers if you will, that have stars on them to help everybody fill out the Collector’s Club card at the end. We don’t want to leave people hanging. But to get these specific exclusive designs, you’ve got to stay pledged throughout the entirety of the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. So pledge at the $5 or $10 level by September 22 to receive this year’s stickers and club card; you can still get a club card. So this is just one of many benefits that you receive as a patron, and we’re really excited to be doing this. This is a really fun long-term program benefit, and can’t wait to see everybody’s club cards by the end of it. Yes, we are basically confirming we intend to still be around in 2026.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Spoilers.

Andrew: If we end early, I don’t know. Just burn your club card or something. [laughs]


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


Andrew: All right, it’s time for Chapter by Chapter, and this week we’re discussing Chapter 19 of Prisoner of Azkaban, “The Servant of Lord Voldemort,” a.k.a. the info dump chapter. So we’ll start as always with our seven-word summary.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Andrew: Pettigrew…

Laura: … begs…

Micah: … Harry…

Eric: … for…

Andrew: … forgiveness…

Laura: … for…

Micah: [sinisterly] … murder.

Andrew: Well done. I like it.

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]


Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion


Andrew: So this really is a continuation of the last chapter and the chapter before that; it’s just one big scene. The events are still unfolding in the Shrieking Shack. However, please welcome to the stage, Severus Snape – he has now joined all the fun. Dumbledore is still nowhere to be found, and I will circle back on that by the end of today’s discussion.

Micah: What’s his intro music, though? I feel like if he’s coming to the stage, he needs entrance music.

[Eric hums “Get Ready for This”]

Andrew: Something from my Slytherin playlist. Maybe “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Snape found out where everyone was after checking in on Lupin and finding the Marauder’s Map open and activated in his office. Now, I think we have uncovered a bit of a mistake by the Marauders. Where is the map’s auto-lock feature, like what our smartphones have? You would think something that is so hard to open up should also be automatically shutting down after so much time, right?

Laura: Yeah, I would think so, especially since we know that it is able to detect certain people trying to access the map; think about earlier in the book when Snape was trying to get access and it insulted him. So you would think that it would have the ability to go into sleep mode or something after a minute or so.

Eric: Well, the Weasley twins were very clear in their instruction to Harry: “You have to wipe the map, you have to say ‘Mischief Managed,’ otherwise anybody else…” They understand. They understand the risk. But Lupin, who… yeah.

Micah: And we don’t know what the amount of time was between Lupin leaving his office and Snape coming to his office. So if Lupin just happened to forget and ran out quickly, and Snape shows up within five minutes or so… even ten minutes, I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, I’ll tell everybody, I have my auto-lock on my phone set to 30 seconds. I do not let my phone stay open for long at all. [laughs]

Laura: Wow.

Eric: It saves battery life.

Laura: It does.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. I see some people throw their phones in their bag after using it without locking it; I’m like, “What are you doing? What are you doing? Stop that.”

Laura: Should be a habit. But Andrew, I do find it curious that you have yours set to 30 seconds. Mine’s set to 60. I feel like that’s reasonable, but I don’t know. I feel like I’m learning some new level of paranoia about you.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: What, do you think I’m hiding something? I’m not hiding anything.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Okay, you know what, Laura, I’ll take your… I just switched to one minute. I will see how that goes for me.

Laura: Okay.

Andrew: I’m also just so used to locking it, it doesn’t even matter.

Laura: Yeah, I do the same thing. I’m just giving you a hard time.

Micah: You need to add Laura as a secondary facial recognition so that she can access your phone whenever.

Laura: Right.

Andrew: [laughs] Why? Why do I want her accessing my…?

Laura: You never know.

Andrew: Never know what?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: The real question I have is just all of the carelessness that Lupin displays regarding his condition in this chapter. It’s one thing… so he sees what’s going on in the grounds. He runs out with the map just open on his desk. Okay, we can forgive that. But why hasn’t he been to take his potion yet? And Snape, who is arriving with the potion because he has not taken it yet, also just does not take it with him when he sees where Lupin is going. He does not bring it down there so that Lupin can have it; he probably just sets it on Lupin’s desk and grabs the map and runs down. Like, thanks for nothing, Snape.

Micah: In fairness to Snape, let’s think about this in a similar fashion to how Lupin reacts to what he sees on the map. So if Snape sees Sirius Black on the map, you’ve got to imagine he’s going to react very quickly and run out of the room after them, so it’s certainly possible that he forgot the potion. And I agree that this whole situation is very convenient, because the potion isn’t even brought up for the remainder of the chapter. It’s mentioned when Snape initially arrives in the Shrieking Shack, but then we hear nothing about it, so it’s almost like the author wants us to forget that Lupin needs to take this potion because something is about to go down.

Eric: [laughs] Well, it’s dangerous given the last time Snape was in the Shrieking Shack or getting close to the Shrieking Shack… the idea that by not bringing him the potion, he’s essentially going to be faced at some point this evening with a fully grown werewolf, which, we’ve just finished reading in the last chapter, are extreme dangers to humans. So Snape is putting everyone in risk by not bringing that Wolfsbane Potion down with him. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Andrew: Isn’t it worrying? I mean, it is just very worrying that he had forgotten to take the potion. That seems like a major security issue right there. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, by now you’ve formed the habit.

Andrew: Right. I know stuff’s going down around town right now, but still, you’ve got to remember.

Micah: Do we know with 100% certainty that Snape doesn’t have the potion on him? Remember, he gets knocked out, so he could have it inside of his cloak.

Eric: I seem to remember it being a smoking goblet when Harry sees it be delivered a few chapters back, so it doesn’t seem transportable necessarily.

Andrew: So Snape has joined, and he’s in full prosecute mode. He is raging, and any “Snape is good” points being earned initially by appearing to be team Dumbledore – which I’m sure for the trio is interesting and refreshing to see – those points quickly evaporate when the trio asks Snape to consider Lupin and Sirius’s story of what’s going on with Scabbergrew, and Snape just absolutely refuses to hear it. He doesn’t want to hear a peep about this and certainly not from the students. And Lupin is urgent in his tone, it says. Though it did cross my mind, you would think maybe there would be a bit of a rapport or trust at this point between Lupin and Snape since Snape has been making this potion for Lupin, but in Lupin’s words, and he knows exactly what’s going on, Snape is just holding this schoolboy grudge still.

Micah: Yeah. And it’s interesting to compare and contrast how Snape treats Hermione in this moment when she is trying to be a little bit more rational in her thinking and ask some questions, versus how Lupin treated her just a couple chapters ago, even when she was prodding him pretty harshly. And you can see the different teaching styles that Lupin has versus how Snape… just his behavior is… the moment is clearly overwhelming him to the point where he’s not even willing to show any level of respect for Hermione. I mean, he gets pretty nasty with her.

Eric: Oh yeah, he says, “Don’t talk about things you don’t possibly understand,” etc., etc. Yeah, like Andrew said, it’s prosecute mode. He’s not listening to any further evidence. But crucially, as we said, maybe the whole reason for the previous chapter was to establish that Snape really hasn’t heard anything about Peter Pettigrew. The only thing that happens while Snape remains conscious in this chapter is Sirius looking over and going, “But the rat,” and there’s no real payoff to “You need to understand, Peter Pettigrew walks among us,” all this stuff. All that talk about Peter Pettigrew has been cleverly placed out of Snape’s earshot, so he’s coming in. And the other reason for heightened emotions is that he believes Sirius is responsible for betraying the Potters, which ended in Lily’s death, so I think this is more like finally confronting the person that… Snape clearly blames himself to some extent for the death of the Potters, but it’s Sirius who was supposed to be the additional failsafe that failed. And so this whole “Straight to the Dementors, I think two kisses,” is really just Snape acting out his self-hatred and redirecting it toward the people in this room.

Laura: Yeah, I agree. And I think there’s some threads that we can connect around the irrationality that Snape is exhibiting in this moment. Some of it is because he doesn’t have all the information. Some of it is, of course, because he’s too close to this, right? He’s face to face with his school age bully, who he feels is partially responsible for the death of the woman he loves. But we can connect this to the way that Harry reacts to Snape and sometimes even Draco, just being utterly convinced that they are the perpetrators of the various goings-on at Hogwarts and in the wizarding world, only to be proven wrong. Usually Hermione is the one who attempts to fill those gaps for him and he is very dismissive of her, maybe not in as mean of a way as Snape is in this scene, but it’s just funny to see Snape acting in a way that we’re going to see Harry acting throughout the rest of the series at points.

Eric: That comparison hurts.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: But Snape at least gets a little bit even worse when he’s with Fudge later. Let’s come back to this and see if there’s a Harry comparison for that behavior later.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t know if there’s one for that.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: I think it’s on a spectrum, right? It’s shades of this behavior.

Andrew: So Snape is chomping at the bit to take Sirius to the Dementors. “Punish a Marauder? Yes please, I am all for this, and Dumbledore is not here to curb me.” And Laura, you just mentioned this – and I know, Micah, you wanted to bring this up too – Snape is looking at the man he believes is responsible for Lily’s death.

Micah: Yeah, I think this has to be emotional overload for Snape in a lot of ways, coming into this room. Seeing Lupin, who he’s had suspicions about for the entire year, potentially aiding Sirius. Sirius is there. He believes Sirius directly responsible, as has been brought up, for Lily’s death, the woman that he cared for probably more than anybody else in his entire life. And so having that context – and I think, Andrew, you put a point in here about that – is very interesting, because when we first read through this series, I don’t know that we’re necessarily looking at it through that lens of Snape’s love for Lily coming into play. And as I mentioned earlier, it’s emotional overload for Snape. I think we have to be fair to him, at least in this moment, because there isn’t a reason to doubt that Lupin was helping Sirius. Here they are standing in the Shrieking Shack together.

Eric: Side by side.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s a good point. And it is really fascinating to reread this with that context. I do wonder if Sirius or Lupin may have suspected themselves that Snape had feelings for Lily, because sometimes you just have a feeling. Sometimes you can see it in their eyes.

Eric: Yeah, I think they would have been highly aware, because Lily would have been publicly seen with Snape for the first probably at least five years of their Hogwarts schooling, based on Snape’s worst memory being the moment that he truly loses Lily by calling her “Mudblood” in public and she walks away. I feel like it would have been well known, actually, that… but it’s not brought up, and this is so crazy to me because this chapter is so detailed and so dense. But there’s this entire other layer of Snape loving Lily, and also Snape being the one that actually gave the prophecy to Voldemort. So there’s nothing about the prophecy sparking Voldemort to go find the Potters; none of that’s in here either. There’s just so many layers to what happened and what caused the Potters’ deaths that you read this early book, and sure, everything in here is correct and interesting, but there’s so much more left to go and you’re just like, “Wow, how does this all play out?” Reasonably, Snape could also be blaming himself. Well, the prophecy and who went to the Potters, it’s unclear what the Marauders know about Dumbledore getting that prophecy and who relayed it to them. If they knew Snape was the one that gave the prophecy to Voldemort, there would just be a murder right now. [laughs] This chapter could not go on.

Laura: I think it’s also interesting because it adds a whole new layer to this moment that happens in this chapter where Snape has his wand between Sirius’s eyes, and he begs him for an excuse to do it. I think in the moment, as an early reader of the series, you’re intended to believe that this is purely because of the schoolboy grudge that he still holds against Sirius, but there’s also that added layer of what he believes Sirius to be responsible for with regard to Lily’s death.

Eric: Yeah, the only person he hates more than Sirius is probably himself.

Micah: Ooh, that’s deep. This also made me think a little bit in terms of connecting the threads, with Snape playing such a pivotal role in the reveal of Sirius in this moment. We also know that Snape is tasked with carrying a message in Order of the Phoenix back to the Order that Harry believes that Sirius is in fact in a lot of trouble, right? And I’m thinking on the spot here, but there’s definitely threads that can be connected between those two moments.

Andrew: Well, so moving along here, with their backs against the wall, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all try to disarm Snape at once, and they knock him out. Harry gives him the ol’ Expelliarmus, of course, and Hermione has a “We’re going to be in so much trouble” thought. And I just wanted to acknowledge that we can add an extra point here for the “Oh my God, we’re totally going to be expelled” count that I presented a while back.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Remember in the first couple books, especially, they were constantly thinking they were going to be kicked out of Hogwarts.

Laura: Do they get to a point where they realize they’re not going to be kicked out of Hogwarts? I feel like throughout the books they continue doing stuff like this, but the mentions of “We’re going to be expelled, we’re going to be kicked out” seem to decrease over time.

Micah: They just have a hall pass, don’t they?

Laura: Yeah, and I think they know it. I think that’s the thing.

Andrew: But they’re justified. They have reason.

Laura: Yeah, of course, and they also know Dumbledore is going to be like, “Ahh, kids will be kids.”

Andrew: “Eh, whatever.”

Micah: It is cool that all three of the trio fire at Snape at the same time, without even any coordination. They just do it.

Eric: That’s crazy, yeah.

Andrew: Does that speak to how well they already jibe?

Micah: I think so. And one thing that came to mind for me was Hermione in particular is really now starting to question authority. She’s starting to challenge authority in a way that we haven’t seen throughout the first couple of books. I think she’s been very much believing in the Ministry and believing in Hogwarts as an institution, and here she is, end of the third book, casting a spell against a professor. That’s a pretty big 180 for her.

Laura: Yeah, and a great connecting moment to Order of the Phoenix, right? Which is I think… obviously we see themes of Hermione pushing back against authority in Goblet of Fire, but where we really see it come to fruition is Order of the Phoenix.

Andrew: So yeah, the trio are not punished for this…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: … and their reasoning for disabling him is sound, of course, but they still did attack a teacher. It seems like a very, very, very, very bad thing to do that should have some serious punishment associated with it no matter the circumstances. Should they have least received a talking-to from Dumbledore? [imitates Dumbledore] “Well, maybe next time let the adults do it. Sirius did offer, didn’t he?”

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, Sirius does offer. I wonder what Sirius has up his sleeve. He says, “Harry, you should have let me handle it.” Sirius wasn’t exactly in a great position either.

Andrew: Right, I’m not convinced Sirius would have gotten the job done, but at least you’re still letting the adult do it. [laughs] It wasn’t a student.

Laura: Yeah, but they’re also in the time loop at this point, right? So it’s imperative that everything play out exactly as it was intended to, and I think Dumbledore knows that, so what’s the point of giving them a talking-to about something that had to happen in that exact order?

Micah: And in fairness to Snape – never thought I would say those words – he’s trying to protect Harry, Ron, and Hermione in as much as he is bringing up old school grudges with Sirius. I mean, he believes that Lupin and Sirius are threats to Harry, Ron, and Hermione in that moment, right? He takes Lupin out of the equation and then just is one on one with Sirius. And I think that we need to remember what Dumbledore has tasked Snape with throughout most of the series and that’s the protection of Harry. Maybe that is subconsciously part of the reason why he runs out after seeing Sirius on the map, because he knows… from all he knows, Sirius does want to kill Harry. In defense of Severus Snape.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: Well, that’s why it’s crucial that he’s missing this information and he’s in a non-listening mode about Peter Pettigrew. But there is an element, too, where you cannot blame him for assuming what he does here because nobody has said, “Pettigrew is still alive,” because there would be a convincing argument. You could reason it this way and say, “Lily is dead because of Peter and he’s right here,” and then Peter would be the one not leaving the Shack. I was trying to think when it is that Snape learns that Peter really was alive in here, presuming tonight he is set right by Dumbledore. But Snape also isn’t there when Wormtail revives Voldemort next year in the cemetery, so when Snape eventually does lock eyes with Peter in human form, there’s probably bound to be daggers, maybe sometime during Book 5.

Micah: Why doesn’t he want to kill Pettigrew? If we’re talking about the fact that Pettigrew is responsible for Lily’s death, you would think that Snape would definitely not let him move in and be roommates in Half-Blood Prince like he does. [laughs] Yeah, that can’t be a great living situation for the two of them.

Andrew: So real quick, I wanted to do a little “What if?” mini game here. What if the trio did not knock out Snape? Let’s say he put up a protective shield. He saw them coming at him, put up the shield, and stopped them. How would it have played out next?

[“What if?” sound effect plays]

Laura: I still wonder if Snape would have tried to take the route of sedating Sirius and Remus so that he could hand deliver them. I feel like he really wanted that Order of Merlin, first class. He wanted the glory, right? We see later on in this book how much he revels in that moment, right? So I wonder if he still would have tried to do it. He might have failed.

Andrew: I would have expected a really great duel between Sirius, Lupin, and Snape that brought down the shack, and the trio have to run for cover or something.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: That would be awesome.

Laura: Bringing down the house.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Well, especially when you consider that Snape is so good at nonverbal spells and things. It’s just real next level.

Andrew: And he’s just so mad right now. He’s been wanting to take revenge out on Sirius and Lupin for the longest time, and now’s his chance.

Eric: Well, his line “Give me a reason” to Black. The Unforgivable Curses are on the table in this moment. He could give him the Killing Curse, and he would be able to use it. He’s one of the few teachers we see… well, he does use it eventually.

Andrew: For all of Snape’s problems, I wonder if he is the type of person to use one of those in front of students. I mean, it’s special circumstances; he’s concerned about Sirius. But still, in front of kids?

Eric: Well, it shut Sirius down.

Micah: But we know he’s willing to call the Dementors as well. And I wonder if Harry would have tried to dispel them when they show up, to prevent them from… like he does later on in the book.

Eric: I think he would have had to subdue the kids too. So if he himself is not subdued, you have these kids shouting for him to listen, and things are going crazy, and he would have put each of the children… either petrified them or something – or not petrified but Petrificus Totalus them or something – to get them to basically not resist, and then he would have gone off and done the thing.

Andrew: All right. I love these little mind game scenarios played out in our heads.

Eric: We should do one every episode. That was fun.

Andrew: Yeah, it is fun to think about.

[Ad break]

Andrew: So moving along here, Snape is out of commission. And Sirius finally gets to explain how he realized that Pettigrew was hiding as Ron’s rat: He saw the family photo of the Weasleys in the Daily Prophet that Fudge had given him while he was in Azkaban, which is just so nice of Fudge, and he recognized him at once because of all the times he had seen him transform, and of course he saw the missing toe. “A finger!”

Eric: This is so classic. It is so utterly… all the pieces that have been littered throughout the book in the story so far now put together, come together, what does it all mean? Unbelievable. Just masterful. Amazing.

Micah: Hey, I’m just impressed with Sirius’s ability to notice a missing toe on a rat in a photo in a newspaper. I mean, that is…

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Eric: In the dark. In the dark in a cell in Azkaban.

Micah: Impressive.

Andrew: I mean, if I’m playing devil’s advocate, if I’m thinking about the Daily Prophets in the movies, those are some pretty sharp pictures they had printed.

Eric: Very HD.

Micah: They move, too, right?

Andrew: They move, too! Right, that’s helpful.

Eric: Yeah, maybe at one point Scabbers hopped off, ran around a little bit.

Andrew: Or he’s waving one of his toes at the camera person.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Or his hands, I mean. Paws. [laughs]

Laura: Well, we also have to remember Sirius saw him transform hundreds of times, so he probably has a pretty good beat on what Peter looks like in his rat form. I did want to ask, though, do we know when the first time it was noted that Scabbers was missing a toe? It would be interesting to know how early in the series that was mentioned.

Eric: Oh. I mean, I would assume when he takes him into Magical Menagerie this book, but yeah, it would be absolutely crazy if it happened sooner.

Laura: Yeah, well, even just thinking about the fact that Sirius Black gets mentioned in the first chapter of the series.

Eric: Right.

Laura: So it makes me wonder how quickly we learned this about Scabbers. And then also thinking about the fact… I was thinking about this reading this chapter the other day. Imagine what Pettigrew felt – Scabbergrew in his rat form – when he just so happens to end up in the same train compartment as Harry Potter when he’s going back to Hogwarts. [laughs]

Andrew: “Just my luck!”

Eric: He’s thinking, “Holy cheese.”

Andrew: “Yes, Ron, be friends with him. Be friends with him. That sounds like a great idea.”

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: “I’ll continue to cower right in your pocket and stare at him so I can tell my old friend Lord Voldemort that I’ve got eyes on him.”

Micah: I thought it would be interesting to look up, what does a missing toe signify? And I think it’s very appropriate for how we characterize Pettigrew throughout the series. But it’s said that a missing toe can signify being incomplete, being inadequate, being powerless, regret for missed opportunities, and vulnerability. And I think so many of these apply to Pettigrew as a character, particularly the feeling of inadequacy because I think that has a large role in why he chooses to ultimately side with Voldemort and not stay true to his friends in James, Sirius, and Remus. And I think we’re going to talk about it a little bit later on, but just how he was treated by them. I mean, he was seen kind of as the fourth wheel, and I wonder if that really ended up being a major factor into why he went over to the Dark side.

Andrew: So Sirius then starts giving some love to Crookshanks, and I definitely wanted to talk about this because I think we were talking about it a couple of weeks ago. He revealed that he had formed a relationship with Crookshanks and says, “Crookshanks realized Scabbers was no good right away.” Even though they had formed a partnership, Sirius never learned Crookshanks’s name, though, until this moment where Ron calls Crookshanks by his name. Sirius did say that after some time, he managed to communicate to Crookshanks what he was after, and that he had “been helping me,” so they do communicate somehow. But I do find it interesting that even though they can communicate, Sirius is still not learning Crookshanks’s name. [laughs] Isn’t that a little strange?

Eric: Yeah, it’s wild. Animals have no need for names, right? For each other.

Andrew: Ooh. Just, “That one.”

Micah: How would Crookshanks say what his name is? He can’t communicate.

Andrew: How does Crookshanks say anything else? I don’t know.

Eric: [laughs] That’s a fair question.

Micah: Did he not have a little tag?

Andrew: Oh, a name tag. Yeah.

Laura: I mean, I think we talked about this a few episodes ago, about nonverbal animal communication that you’ll see anytime you see two animals meeting and getting to know each other.

Eric: Dogs and cats especially.

Laura: Yeah, I think we are to assume that’s what happened here.

Andrew: I still am just very frustrated that they never had the small talk of “So what’s your name?”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Well, it works additionally because Crookshanks is a Kneazle or part Kneazle. And Sirius says, “He’s one of the most brilliant of his kind I’ve ever seen,” so there’s some added leeway there where it’s like, if you don’t believe a person who looks like a dog and thinks like a man could communicate with a cat, then there’s this additional magic bit to it. But I love the idea of gradually building trust, and Crookshanks eventually sees Peter in this chapter and is all hisses and like, “I knew it.”

Andrew: How about a Ouija board? They find a Ouija board and point to the letters. C-R-O…

Eric: Well, I just don’t know… the list of passwords. So Crookshanks… let’s look at what Crookshanks has told Sirius.

Andrew: No, I still want to talk about not knowing their names. I’m just kidding.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: But in animal form, all the things that Crookshanks tells Sirius that he did… and bringing the list of passwords. Crookshanks clearly would have either had to read or knows what’s on that sheet. It’s crazy.

Andrew: Yeah. So the passwords, we learn that Crookshanks did steal the list of passwords for Sirius; he steals it from Neville. I feel like Crookshanks should get in trouble for this. McGonagall, a fellow feline, who is Head of House Gryffindor, where the scene of the crime occurred, the stealing of the password list, should be punishing Crookshanks in some way. It also doesn’t sit right with me because there should be an explicit understanding between human and animal at Hogwarts that they must abide by school rules. They don’t get to do whatever they want. That’s part of the deal of getting to hang out at Hogwarts.

Eric: Have you met cats? Cats do whatever they want.

Andrew: Yes, but this is a special cat.

Laura: I was about to ask Eric, as the resident cat parent on this panel…

Eric: Oh boy.

Laura: … is there any way that you could punish a cat? Is that possible? Because from my vantage point…

Andrew: In an unproblematic way? [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, of course. It feels like it’s not possible.

Eric: No, cats are another form of life. You cannot punish them in a way that matters.

Laura: Yeah, they don’t care.

Eric: Totally foreign. What would it be like…?

Micah: I’m just thinking about my interactions with Martha.

Eric: Oh, you love Martha.

Micah: Yeah, we’re friends.

Eric: You’re a friend of all pets, actually.

Micah: I am.

Eric: In two weeks you got Martha love, you got Finn love… a little bit different. They express their love in different ways.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yes, very different ways, yes.

Eric: But no, so I mean, apart from points from Gryffindor, McGonagall really does blame Neville for the list existing. I think any additional information that McGonagall could have about “That list was in fact taken by the cat strictly to Sirius Black…” She already punished Neville for it, the fact that the list was there.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, you could take this in so many different directions, because Neville really shouldn’t have been writing down the passwords to begin with, right?

Andrew: True.

Micah: Now, if you go even further back, though, it all has to do with the fact that Sir Cadogan was changing the passwords every five minutes. Take it a step back, you just don’t have the right security measures in place for students to be able to access their common room.

Eric: Exactly.

Micah: And so we can put this at the feet of Dumbledore, which we did chapters ago – sorry, Andrew – but I do think that there should be some level of responsibility here. I agree with Andrew; you can’t just have your pets running around and stealing things from other people, especially in this case. You’re giving access to a presumed mass murderer to enter the school.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’ll push back and say just that these are extraneous circumstances. If Crookshanks had not met a being that is somewhere between human and animal that had built up a trust over the school year and really come together over this other non-human non-animal being in Scabbers, none of this would ever happen. Crookshanks is a well-behaved boy, and he would not have stolen the list of passwords if not coaxed to over many months.

Micah: Shady cat.

Andrew: So Harry is still not understanding what Sirius’s story means, and Lupin has to give a “Don’t you see?” which I always feel like is a choice by an editor editing a book being like, “Okay, we need to make it a little more explicitly clear for the reader; they’re children.”

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Andrew: You see this in television too. “Don’t you get it?” [laughs] And then you get the explicit explanation. So Lupin says it twice, “Don’t you see?” to Harry. So the “Don’t you see?” to Harry and the reader is that Peter betrayed Lily and James, and Sirius was the one who tracked Peter down, and then we got an all-caps Harry moment. He says, “THAT’S NOT TRUE! He -” he being Sirius “- was their Secret Keeper! He said so before you turned up. He said he killed them!” And then the twist, Sirius says he persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment.

Micah: Why? The big question here… and I thought about this a little bit, and we don’t know a whole lot about Sirius’s character at this point. But I was curious if it can be viewed as a purely selfish move on the part of Sirius, as it takes the target off of his back.

Andrew: Well, so first we have to add, Sirius does say, “I thought it was the perfect plan… a bluff… Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you,” which I think is actually a reasonable thought.

Eric: Yeah, this is probably the best Sirius Black chapter of all of them because of his fierce support. You get the sense, especially when he’s arguing with Peter later about “You should have died rather than betray your friends,” Sirius really actually was prepared to die for Lily and James. I think that joking nature, though, that James and Sirius have been established to have, like the progenitors of the Weasley twins… really were like, “Okay, if Sirius is confronted by Voldemort, and he is our Secret Keeper, there’s a non-zero chance that Voldemort does get the information. Not because Sirius betrays them, but maybe he has these Dark powers that nobody knows about,” which is basically what Peter says, “so let’s actually put it somewhere he’ll just never expect.” This is the equivalent of taking a Horcrux and chucking it into the bottom of the ocean, randomly ocean, not even a specific spot of the ocean. So I think that that was the goal. But I think – not to turn it onto Dumbledore – not making Dumbledore your Secret Keeper is very much, however, Dumbledore not wanting to put himself at risk. I don’t think when Sirius doesn’t do it, it’s that scapegoat kind of a thing, but Dumbledore arguably is the one that was always meant to face off against Voldemort. But I don’t think it’s selfish for Sirius; I think he literally just thought, “Wouldn’t it be nuts if we put it in this random person who, yeah, is loyal to us, so it’ll work?”

Micah: Yeah, I do think it’s an underestimation on their part, though, because it’s not as if Voldemort isn’t an intelligent individual and wouldn’t consider the possibility that they would do something like this. I think the big issue for them deciding to make Pettigrew the Secret Keeper was not realizing that for a year prior, he was already giving information to Voldemort, which is something we learn about in this chapter. And there’s this whole suspicion amongst the Marauders of who the sneak is, right? Who the traitor is amongst them, and Sirius and Remus actually suspect each other for a period of time. So why make any of the Marauders the Secret Keeper, then?

Eric: That’s a good point.

Micah: That goes back to your point, Eric, of Dumbledore should’ve been the Secret Keeper.

Eric: Yeah, well, and what you’re saying, though, is that it is pretty well publicized. Everybody knew that Pettigrew was in with Sirius, James. Even McGonagall has said she way underestimated him, and “Oh, he must have been really brave for what he did.” But yeah, Voldemort would still be able to try Peter. It’s not the world’s smartest idea. It’s not really that great a bluff.

Laura: Yeah. I want to touch on the point you brought up, Micah, of Sirius and Remus saying that they each thought the other was the spy. So clearly, they underestimated Peter’s ability to even do that, right? They never thought that Voldemort would want to be in league with someone like Peter. But I was wondering why they suspected each other. Did Sirius suspect Remus because of Remus being a werewolf and the werewolves as a society largely being aligned with Voldemort? And did Remus think that it was because of Sirius’s familial connections that he finally caved to the Dark side?

Eric: Oh. I like these possibilities because they play into the worst angles of each of our natures.

Laura: Right.

Eric: I think that Sirius and Lupin – especially if you’re a Wolfstar shipper, too – they have this moment where they talk it out. They’re like, “Will you ever forgive me for thinking it was you?” And it’s like, “Oh, if you do me.” It’s like, oh, love. I don’t think that it was rooted in prejudice, why they behaved each other, but only in the after-the-fact knowledge that it had to have been somebody in the closest circle. So I think that a lot of this suspecting it was the other just happened when they were each isolated from each other in the very moments leading up to Halloween of 1980.

Laura: Yeah. No, it’s a good point because that isolation and the fear really will bring out the worst parts of you, right? And make you assume the worst of other people.

Eric: That’s a good point, too. Yeah, because the Order of the Phoenix in its first iteration was not all moving as one unit, 12 people in a Flying V.

Andrew: [laughs] Flying V.

Eric: They were all each doing their own little missions here and there. And so I think in those moments of solitude, they would have begun to suspect one another, because somehow that info was leaking. But it really is a dramatic underestimation of Peter.

Micah: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. It also just shows their ignorance towards what Peter could be capable of doing. Certainly, it sounds like there was a level of coercion that was going on by Voldemort in making Peter do what he did, ultimately. But I think there’s this very strong underestimation, which comes from their time at Hogwarts together and treating Pettigrew as if he was just the extra.

Eric: And there’s definitely a case to be made for how little they think of him. I mean, he did become an Animagus with them; he did everything that they could do. Yes, he had help, but that’s what friends are for. And it just continually surprises Sirius to the point where 12 people are dead because he underestimated Pettigrew’s ability. And Pettigrew is this perfect weasel character in this chapter, I think, groveling at the feet of anyone who will have him, but it really does show that he’s playing a next-level game; he’s still one step ahead of each of them. And I don’t think we give enough credit to just how evil and capable Peter is.

Andrew: So with no more info to dump, well, there’s nothing left to do but to see if this really is Peter Pettigrew himself hiding as Scabbers. And there’s this cute Marauders moment where Sirius asks Lupin if they want to do the Revelio honors together; we never hear a spell, I don’t think, right? So I’m just pulling the Hogwarts Legacy one. And now, sure enough, they were right. Here’s Pettigrew right in front of them in the flesh, and he immediately begins to paint Sirius as the bad guy associated with Voldemort, who’s been after him for 12 years. But Lupin is not having it; they’re sticking together. And Sirius offers some grim warnings to Pettigrew: Voldemort’s followers aren’t happy with him and they think Pettigrew is dead, or else he’d have to answer to them for being a double double-crosser. A double-crossed double-crosser, he uses some phrase like that.

Eric: Yeah, this is so brilliant. This is, again, there’s an alternate narrative for everything that happens. So Pettigrew might say, “I’ve been hiding from Sirius Black this whole time because Sirius betrayed Lily and James, and he wants to finish me. He got my finger; now he wants to finish me.” And Sirius is like, “You’re not hiding from me; you’re hiding from the other Death Eaters who acted on your evidence and Voldemort fell.” And it’s mind-blowing because you know that that’s really the truth. And I didn’t actually realize that; I’d forgotten about that being called out as a specific thing, the remaining Death Eaters that are still out there that are presumably still loyal to Voldemort. That’s a huge shout-out to those guys, especially because we see them at the end of the very next book coming together. That they are in fact out there, it’s a huge heads-up to the audience that is very subtly put, and also harkens ahead to Book 6 When we see that Slughorn is running from those same people, basically, and that’s why Dumbledore recruits him to go to Hogwarts. So like Slughorn, Pettigrew finds a safe refuge from the Death Eaters at Hogwarts.

Laura: Yeah, that is so interesting. And I think we see an even earlier example of those Death Eaters still being out there just a couple months after the end of this book, right? When they all go to the Quidditch World Cup…

Eric: That’s right.

Laura: … and the Death Eaters attack. They come out of the shadows to attack there. So it’s interesting to think about the timelines of these books and what is just around the corner from this moment.

Eric: Amazing it gets shouted out here, though, first. This book does so much. I completely… I don’t think I’ve ever properly seen this mentioned to these guys.

Laura: I agree.

Andrew: So more info-dumping – sorry that I keep using this not exactly attractive phrase…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: … occurs to confirm that Pettigrew is bad, and he only does things if he can see the benefits for himself. And we also learn how Sirius broke out of Azkaban, which I think we did actually discuss on the show a few weeks ago. He snuck past the Dementors as a dog when they were feeding him and he was very thin.

Micah: Along those lines, one question that I had was do the Dementors not have the same effect on the truly innocent? In the sense that Sirius seems to not have been affected in the same way that other prisoners have been. I know we get a sense from Hagrid of what his time was like there, but Sirius deep down knows that he is not responsible for this crime. And so I’m wondering, if that is truly what’s going on inside of you, you’re feeling this level of innocence for something you didn’t do, are the Dementors less effective?

Andrew: That’s motivating you? Well, yeah, there’s that, but maybe it’s also just simply motivating you and helping keep your head as clear as possible. Like, “I am innocent. I should not be in here.”

Eric: The way I see it – and I’ve often wondered this, but on this reread, I caught something else – which is when Sirius is talking about how he escaped and things, he definitely has been broken down and worn down by the Dementors, except for that little kernel of knowing he’s innocent, but it’s actually seeing Scabbers’s – or Peter’s – portrait in the Daily Prophet that fuels him. He starts getting more energy because seeing that Peter is there, he has this… he’s able to… his adrenaline kicks into gear. So it’s the knowing he’s innocent has allowed him to keep his head and not go mad, but he still was too weak to actually escape until he started having this drive that kicks in from seeing the… and that’s all described in this chapter.

Laura: Yeah, and I think a key point that Sirius points out, too, is his acknowledgement, his knowledge of his innocence isn’t a happy thought, so that’s not something the Dementors can take from him. And it made me wonder, and this is very sad, but how many happy thoughts does Sirius have? Obviously, his time at Hogwarts was very happy because he was away from his family and with his friends, but that is just a few years of his life. You think about his upbringing with his family and then his time immediately following their graduation from Hogwarts where Voldemort was on the rise, and his best friends got murdered, he got blamed for their death. How many happy memories does this guy have for the Dementors to even take?

Micah: Well, I think that’s why he was so willing to just go without any type of pushback, or he just goes to Azkaban without any kind of fight, because I think he’s lost so much of what – if not everything – at that time that was important to him, which is really, really sad. Andrew, you mentioned Pettigrew, though, and that Sirius and Remus said that he only does things if he can see the benefits for himself. If this is truly what Sirius and Remus thought about Peter when they were students, is it possible that their treatment of him in being the odd man out led him down this road? If he feels like he’s not really part of the crew? I think I used the term “fourth wheel” earlier. Could they have actually been part of the reason why Pettigrew was so willing to go to Voldemort?

Andrew: I could see that.

Eric: Yeah, we all are the product of our previous decisions, even the bad ones, right? I think there’s still… we have to give Pettigrew the credit for choosing his path, and there is a great deal of self preservation and cowardice as it relates to it. And Sirius and Peter get into that in this chapter. But yeah, I think absolutely had they fostered a stronger real connection or friendship, it’s possible that Pettigrew wouldn’t have been so willing to betray Lily and James. But the other side of that is Peter really was in with the in-crowd; he was with the most popular kids in school, and he still betrayed them. So it’s more like what Sirius says to him. Sirius in this chapter… the reason I say it’s the best Sirius Black chapter is Sirius is basically telling Peter what his motivations were, what his thoughts were, and it’s so eerily accurate that Peter can’t speak. He’s shocked. And it’s because Sirius has had 12 years in Azkaban to think about all of these motivations. And he’s finally being able to accuse him of, “Oh, you’ve always been this person that shacks up to the biggest bully on the playground,” right? And so that’s what it was from a Pettigrew standpoint. I think something in Peter is broken and needs that and always was capable of betraying the person he’s with, and that has nothing to do with how the Marauders treated him. I think that’s just how he is.

Micah: What a Gryffindor.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Along those lines, though, if we are to give Pettigrew a little bit of the benefit of the doubt, he does mention these weapons that the Dark Lord possesses. Timothy Spall does a great job as Pettigrew in delivering this line, and I’m curious, what weapons is he referring to? Do we ever get a sense for that?

Andrew: His army, the Elder Wand, his plans with the Elder Wand…

Eric: I read it as the Imperius Curse hasn’t been formally introduced, and the Crucio Curse has not been formally introduced, so it’s possible Voldemort has more… again, Voldemort’s Legilimency is through the roof as well, so he can know when you’re lying, and he says that. But we see this in later books, Voldemort just torturing people to get information out of them, and I think that’s all it needs to be that Pettigrew means. There’s not an easy way to escape direct torture that Voldemort would inflict upon him.

Laura: Yeah, I think it’s also an interesting connection to Order of the Phoenix because throughout that book, we’re constantly hearing about how Voldemort has some kind of weapon, but nobody really knows what it is. And ultimately, we learn that Harry is the weapon, Harry’s mind being infiltrated is the weapon that gives Voldemort the access he needs to the prophecy. So I don’t think that’s exactly what Pettigrew is referring to here, but it is a very interesting choice of words around Voldemort that we see in both this book and in Order of the Phoenix.

Andrew: I would describe it as an abstract weapon or weapons.

Micah: Yeah, Lindsay in the Discord says, “Weapons of mass manipulation,” which I think, knowing how Voldemort can play with people’s minds…

Andrew: Yeah, I like that.

Laura: WMMs.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s all about those WMMs.

Micah: I think that’s accurate. And we know at least that Pettigrew’s mother is alive, so who knows the threats that perhaps Voldemort is whispering into Peter’s ear about what he’ll do to his family?

Andrew: And Becky said, “Swords! He’s got swords.” Sometimes it’s just that simple.

Micah: He doesn’t have swords.

Andrew: Maybe he did have. Maybe that was the plan at the time.

Micah: He can’t get the one sword he wants, we know that.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. So Pettigrew starts begging everyone for mercy, “Please, please,” individually spending time with each person. “Please, Harry. Please, Hermione. Please, Sirius, Lupin.” He’s just so desperate. And Harry decides to offer him a bit of mercy after he’s finished going around the table, begging everybody for some. Harry decides Pettigrew should suffer in Azkaban rather than be killed here in the shack, and this is a big character moment for Harry. And of course, we have to set aside the fact that Pettigrew does later escape. Do we agree this is the right decision by Harry not knowing what lies ahead? He says his dad wouldn’t want his friends to be killers, which I think is really sweet and probably accurate. But would James have done the same? Would James have done the same here?

Eric: [sighs] That’s a good question. I think Harry is saying it as a gotcha, like “This person next to me is so beneath my contempt,” and he wants to throw his hat in the tormenting of Peter with the threat of the Dementors. I think he wants to jump on that game, but he is ultimately doing an extremely pure thing, which we know has magical implications later. But I’m just shocked that Sirius and Lupin both agree to heed Harry’s direction here. But it’s right enough to them. They actually knew James; Harry did not know James. So it’s right enough to them that they agree to do it, which is very interesting, because that goes against what Sirius has been trying to do all year.

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: It shows… oh, go ahead, Laura.

Laura: I was going to say, we know that getting the Dementor’s Kiss or even being routinely subjected to Dementors is a fate worse than death, so actually, yeah, I think Harry is doing the right thing here. But he’s also basically telling Peter, “It would be a mercy for us to kill you, but we’re not going to do that. We’re going to do something much worse.”

Eric: Yeah. Doesn’t Harry say, “If anybody deserves this place, it’s him”?

Andrew: Okay, but here’s what gets me, and I just had this realization this morning. Sirius escaped from Azkaban. Now they want to put Pettigrew, another Animagus, in Azkaban. What do you think could happen here? Do they have a rat cage for him? I mean, are they going to give him more security? Does Sirius really trust Azkaban? And Harry at this point, knowing that Sirius broke out of Azkaban, as a good place to put him?

Eric: That’s a fair question.

Micah: And a rat could get out a lot easier than a dog can.

Andrew: Right? They just had this discussion five pages ago.

Eric: That’s hilarious.

Laura: I feel like the insinuation is that Peter would get the Dementor’s Kiss, because Sirius was going to get it. And if they’re able to successfully prove that Sirius was innocent, that he spent 12 years wrongfully in prison because Peter was actually the murderer… I feel like especially based on the way the legal system seems to work in the wizarding world where it’s either yeah, no consequences for anything you do, but if it’s bad enough, you’re definitely going to this high security depression wizard prison… I feel like they would go straight…

Andrew: Depression wizard prison.

Laura: Yeah, they would go straight to the Dementor’s Kiss penalty for Peter.

Eric: It’s like what they do with Tina and Newt in the first Fantastic Beasts film, taking them down to that black pool for just… like, what? Extreme, hello.

Laura: Right?

Eric: Yeah, it’s really interesting.

Micah: Well, and Stray Kneazle brought up a really great point in the Discord, saying that the Ministry didn’t know Sirius was an Animagus. So perhaps they would put different protections in place, knowing that Pettigrew was in fact in Animagus.

Laura: True.

Eric: Well, presumably Scabbers couldn’t swim to shore the way the dog did. But also, if you think of it again as a one-two punch of Sirius knowing he’s innocent and having a drive, Pettigrew would have neither of those things. I think the Dementors would do what they are supposed to do on Pettigrew even if they don’t kiss him. I just love that all this talk is like the Dementors are up at Hogwarts right now sipping a cup of tea going, “Well, I’m going to kiss somebody tonight. I don’t care who it is.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “Let me kiss! Let me kiss!”

Laura: “Can I have a breath mint, please?” [laughs]

Micah: You probably need a whole package of Life Savers.

Laura: Oh yeah, for sure. You need that really intense Listerine, the amber-colored one that really burns your mouth. That’s what they need.

Eric: Ahh, the good stuff.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs] I also think Pettigrew, even if he didn’t immediately get the Dementor’s Kiss, I feel like he would be in a lot of danger in Azkaban because we know there are so many Death Eaters there who would presumably want him dead. So prison would also be a very dangerous place for him for different reasons, not just the Dementors.

Micah: Yeah, yeah. Just in going back to what you were saying earlier, Eric, I think it’s a huge moment of maturation for Harry, I agree with that, in making this decision to say that, really thinking what Remus and Sirius aren’t thinking in that moment, right? Which is that if they do do this, they become murderers, and the truth dies with Pettigrew. That’s the worst part of all of this is that if they follow through on this, there’s no way for them to actually prove this entire story that we’ve just learned.

Eric: I’ve been thinking about that, even if Pettigrew were to die and they bring his corpse up, that still doesn’t really say that their version of events happened. It proves that Pettigrew’s body was well preserved over the last 12 years, but really doesn’t put too fine a point on the truth. They need Pettigrew alive. Yeah, forgive Sirius and Remus for not considering the implications against their mortal soul right now, but Harry is there to do that for them and say.

Micah: and it’s very important because it comes back to really benefit Harry in Deathly Hallows when the debt is repaid by Peter.

Eric: Yeah. I have issues with that moment, but I’m glad it exists.

[Ad break]


Odds & Ends


Andrew: All right, a couple odds and ends. I mentioned this a couple times, even I can admit. Where is Dumbledore? And I did have a theory. I just imagine him… because come on, he sets up the Shrieking Shack for Lupin; he must have put a camera in there or something to keep an eye on what’s going on.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I’m imagining he’s sitting back in his office, feet kicked up on that beautiful desk, and he’s got some popcorn. And he’s just watching the show, and he’s like, “Oh, I don’t need to intervene. Things are going just as I planned, as I hoped.”

Eric: Do you think he’s got a master Marauder’s Map that sees slightly beyond the boundary, and he’s just watching it all down and he’s like, “Ha, ha, ha”?

Andrew: Maybe. There’s so much happening here with so many important characters and he’s just nowhere to be found. Like, what is he doing? He’s got to be watching. He’s got to be listening.

Eric: He’s in London.

Micah: He’s drinking tea with the Dementors that Laura mentioned earlier.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: They’re just waiting for the fallout in a couple of hours.

Andrew: “I want to kiss.”

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Maybe he’s making out with the Dementors. I don’t know.

Laura: Ooh.

Andrew: I just also want to mention Scabbers. He had been in the family for 12 years, and this specific period, the number 12… I’ve brought this up before; it’s coming up numerous times this chapter. 12, 12, 12. Rowling loves using that number in the Harry Potter series. And also, I wanted to call out a couple funny moments. When Pettigrew asked Remus if he believes Sirius, Lupin replies, “I must admit, Peter, I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend 12 years as a rat.” That made me chuckle. And then Ron said to Pettigrew at one point, “I let you sleep in my bed!”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Laura: Yeah, Ron observes the thing that all the fans observe too. How, again, did his brothers never notice that for three years, there was a Peter Pettigrew in Ron’s bed?

Eric: You know what, here’s a headcanon: Fred and George, when they first discovered the map, made a habit of not looking at what their brothers were up to in the Gryffindor rooms, because they had Bill in Charlie at Hogwarts as well. They don’t pay attention to the Gryffindor dormitories.

Micah: But shouldn’t Pettigrew also go to jail for this? I mean, he’s sleeping in the bed of underage kids.

Eric: When it’s a rat, it’s fine.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: I mean, is it?

Andrew: All right, it’s time for MVP of the Week. Let’s get out of this before we…

Eric: Pin it to the door.

Micah: Add it to the list? Is that what you’re saying?


MVP of the Week


Andrew: Time for MVP of the Week.

[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: I’m going to give it to Harry for choosing to spare Pettigrew’s life. I could never. I would be the one who just wants to exact revenge on him in this moment and just not have to worry about him anymore.

Laura: It’s the Slytherin in you.

[Andrew laughs evilly]

Eric: Definitely going to give my MVP to my man, Sirius Black. There’s at least 423 moments of awesome that he does in this chapter, so thanks for being real.

Andrew: Wait, wait, wait, how many moments did you say?

Eric: 423.

Andrew: That’s your old email address!

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I know, I know. @aol.com.

Micah: I’m going to give it to Expelliarmus. That’s my MVP of this chapter.

Laura: I’m going to give mine to Hermione. I feel like of everyone in this chapter, she is the person who remains the most levelheaded throughout and asks a lot of really good questions, once she takes the time to really understand what’s unfolding in front of her. So she’s no longer in denial about what she’s being told, but she’s still asking the probing questions that the reader is asking as they read through this. So I think in this moment, Hermione really is standing in for the reader.

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Andrew: So we’re about to wrap this episode up, but we are recording a bonus MuggleCast installment this week. Laura, can you tell us what our patrons will be able to hear later this week?

Laura: Yeah, so on this week’s bonus, we’re going to be talking about Harry Potter headcanons, so really, those scenarios or interactions between characters that we imagine may have happened offscreen but weren’t necessarily represented in the text. We’ve talked about a lot of headcanons here on the show, but we’re going to be unpacking some additional ones in bonus this week.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s just one of many benefits on our Patreon, Patreon.com/MuggleCast. And as we shared last week, there’s now a Spotify integration, so you can listen to all of our bonus audio content right through Spotify. Most podcast apps support listening to our bonus audio content, which is really nice; that way you don’t have to use the Patreon app to listen to bonus MuggleCast and ad-free MuggleCast. Of course, we’ve got the MuggleCast Collector’s Club going on too. Become a patron by September 22 – and there will be a forum for patrons to fill out – and we will get you this year’s stickers, and for as long as you remain a patron, you will receive the following years’ stickers as well. MuggleCast confirming this week and reminding you all that we will be active through at least 2026. Next week, we will discuss Chapter 20 of Prisoner of Azkaban. And if you have any feedback about today’s episode or the chapters ahead, you can send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com or you can use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. To send a voice message, just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file, or use our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE. That’s 1-920-368-4453. Speaking of contacting us, it’s time for our weekly trivia game, Quizzitch.


Quizzitch


[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question, who casts Expelliarmus against Snape inside the Shrieking Shack? We had many, many submissions, but not everyone got the correct answer. It’s actually the trio; Harry, Ron, and Hermione all cast it. This causes Snape to lift up, his wand goes shooting, all that good stuff. But people who did get the correct answer include Bang-ended scoot; BuffDaddy; Callie loves Quizzitch; Crookshanks’s broken brush; If Harry wanted to name his kid after Snape, he should have just chosen “Man Baby” as a middle name…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: … Landon; Luke the 11-year-old; Plomping pillow; Puff the Hufflepuff; Serpent sorcerers; Snoopy 199; Teddy Lupin traumatized by Wolfstar; The owl that doesn’t take baths: The Cajun Gryffindor; The eighth Animagus; and the Mandrake leaf under Sirius’s tongue.

Laura: Gross! [laughs]

Andrew: Laura remains tickled by the Quizzitch names.

Laura: I do. Listen, I told you, that’s 50% of why I show up to these recordings, is just to hear the Quizzitch names.

Andrew: That’s why she’s here through 2026 at least.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: Keep ’em coming.

Eric: Here is next week’s Quizzitch question: Who leads the group first out of the Shrieking Shack? You’ve got about a one in eight chance, I think, of answering this correctly. So submit your responses to us on the Quizzitch form found on the MuggleCast website, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or go to MuggleCast.com and click on “Quizzitch” from the main nav.

Andrew: I mentioned Patreon and Spotify, but I know a lot of listeners use Apple, and if you’d prefer to support us through there, for just $2.99 a month you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcasts app. Patreon does offer more benefits, including bonus MuggleCast and the Collector’s Club, but maybe you just want to support us through there. It’s so easy; it’s like buying an app. $2.99 a month.

Micah: It’s a good deal.

Andrew: We also have the free trial. We also have a annual pledge you can do, too, so check that out. It’s a great way to support us. It’s just the four of us plus our social media manager Chloé; this isn’t some corporation.

Micah: Not yet, it isn’t.

Andrew: This is just us, so we need your financial support. It really helps keep the show running. Tell a friend about the show. We’d also appreciate if you left us a review in your favorite podcast app. Don’t forget to follow us on social media; our username is @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads. And that does it for this week’s episode. Thanks, everybody, for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m SiriusBlack423.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: See everybody next time, goodbye.

Laura: Bye, y’all.

Micah: Bye.

Laura: Are we sharing AIM screen names? Because I would totally pull out the “I’m PhoenixWrath88.”

Eric: Aww, PhoenixWrath.

Transcript #622

 

MuggleCast 622 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #622, Sneaky Snack for the Dumbledrama (POA Chapter 18, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs)


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: This week, it’s going to feel like your worst Thanksgiving dinner because we’re discussing Chapter 18 of Prisoner of Azkaban, “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.” And to help us with today’s discussion, we’re joined by another Slug Club supporter on Patreon. His name is Jason, not to be confused with our last guest, also Jason. That’s a first, I think. Welcome, Jason, to the show.

Jason: Hello, I’m excited to be here.

Andrew: Good to have you. You’re coming to us from Salt Lake City. Let’s get your fandom ID.

Jason: Oh, sure. My favorite book is… I can’t decide. It’s 3, I think. Maybe 6? Could be 5. I don’t know.

[Everyone laughs]

Jason: I like all of those for very different reasons. I really can’t decide which one is my favorite. I like all of them. Favorite movie is the sixth one, probably. I also really like the fifth one. I don’t know. I’m very indecisive.

[Andrew laughs]

Jason: I am a Hufflepuff. I have also secondarily been Sorted into Ravenclaw, so I’m probably more of a Huffleclaw. My Patronus is a Tonkinese cat, which… I don’t know what a Tonkinese cat is. But I like cats, so that’s cool.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jason: And then my Animagus form, I think I would be a falcon.

Andrew: Cool. And we asked that question because it’s relevant to today’s chapter. I appreciate your honesty with the indecisiveness around what your favorite book and movie is. [laughs]

Jason: I like all of them. I don’t know.

[Andrew and Jason laugh]

Eric: Too often people feel they have to give a definitive answer, so that we can scrutinize it. But this one, there’s nothing to pick at. It’s like, oh, he likes a bunch of them. Okay.

Andrew: But let’s put it to you this way: If you were stranded on a desert island…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: … and you could only bring one book with you, which would it be? 3, 6, or 5?

Jason: Uhh… [long pause] I don’t know. 5, probably. Maybe because it’s long.

Laura: Yeah, it’s the longest. That’s a good choice

Andrew: Well reasoned. Well reasoned.

Micah: It’s also your favorite book, isn’t it, Andrew?

Andrew: That is my favorite, yeah. Number 5. No doubt about it for me. So if we’re both on the same island, you know I’ll have 5 there, and then you can bring 3 or 6.

Eric: You’ll have to coordinate, planning to get stranded on an island.

Andrew: [laughs] Somebody bring 2! We need 2! We don’t have 2 yet! Well, welcome to the show, Jason, and thanks for your support on Patreon. We really appreciate your support. And you put in some great notes today that we’re excited to talk about. Micah, Eric, you have some updates for us. Micah, do you want to start?

Micah: Yeah, sure. So we were able to give away a couple of pairs of tickets to Harry Potter: The Exhibition back on Harry’s birthday. And appropriately, I thought, the question was: In the Hall of Prophecy, which row contains the prophecy about Harry and Voldemort? Does anybody here know the answer to that?

Eric: It’s 97, isn’t it?

Micah: It is 97. Eric, congratulations. You’ve won two tickets.

Eric: Yeah!

Micah: So congratulations to Laura. Not you, Laura. Another Laura.

Laura: Oh man.

Micah: Sorry.

Eric: Man, there’s too many Jasons, too many Lauras… like, what is going on?

Micah: Well, Laura, who is one of our long standing Slug Club members – so she is very excited to go – as well as Marlena, Matthew, Michael, and Laila. So we really hope you enjoy your time at Harry Potter: The Exhibition. And channeling my inner Chloé, be sure to tag us on social media when you do decide to go. It is a lot of fun. I’ve been and I know you’re going to really, really enjoy yourselves at the exhibition.

Eric: Well, jumping off of that, Micah and I would like to thank anyone who came out to see us while we were in Chicago, either at LeakyCon, which was another wonderful, amazing time, or at the public MuggleCast meet-up, which nevertheless had a limited amount of space. But we filled up the top floor of Fado Irish Pub downtown in Chicago, one of Micah and I’s favorite spots to go when we’re not hosting a MuggleCast Live. And we managed to finally have our party there. And it was really, really wonderful, seeing everybody, making time to chat with everyone that came… And it was really just a magical weekend.

Micah: Yeah. And we got to see, as you said, a number of listeners, but I did want to specially call out… We were doing our Spot the Liar panel on Sunday, and right after the panel, there were these two kids that came up to us. And they said, “We’re Bagels for Buckbeak.” And it took me a second to register exactly what they were saying, and then I realized, oh, Quizzitch!

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: But it was so cool to meet them in person, and they drove all the way from Virginia to come to LeakyCon.

Laura: Whoa.

Micah: And just for that day, specifically. So it was really great to see them. We got a picture with them, and I’m sure it will be posted up on social media at some point soon.

Eric: The kids are really loving Quizzitch, it turns out, because we got Forrest the 14-year-old… Bagels for Buckbeak, their parents confided, are 12 and 13, so definitely good for the young young kids. Yeah, this weekend for Quizzitch, we met Bagels for Buckbeak, and I discovered that I had actually shared a hotel room with “When the Shrieking Shack is rockin’, don’t come knocking.”

[Laura laughs]

Micah: That would be me.

Eric: … which is one of Micah’s previous Quizzitch handles.

Andrew: Okay, I was just going to say, I thought we were going to have to get in touch with HR.

Eric: But anyway, it was really a wonderful time. And yeah, we definitely have a lot of recaps up on our socials. And yeah, I would just have to say, probably the panels were my favorite thing of the whole weekend, including one on the morality of magic, which had a lot of audience participation. It was great.

Micah: For me, it was definitely the MuggleCast meet-up, and then also the very first panel that we did, which was a podcaster mega panel – a number of fellow podcasters either that we’ve been on their shows or they’ve come on this one – Mike from Potterless, Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them, as well as Swish and Flick Cast.

Eric: Oh, was that the one Gilderoy Lockhart came to? Or no, that was that the next day?

Micah: That was Friday. Gilderoy appeared on Saturday in full regalia. Plenty of arrogance.

Andrew: Eric was Lockhart and also Elvis Dumbledore. His classic Elvis Dumbledore.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Micah: And I think I said that Gilderoy appeared on Saturday. That’s not true. He was just resting in Friday morning. He couldn’t make the first panel, you know, the arrogance.

Eric: That’s right. He’s got many obligations.

Micah: But he showed up later on Friday afternoon. And we did do six panels in total, in addition to the meet-up, and I believe we’re planning to release our live show, on Labor Day weekend, which was a lot of fun as well.

Eric: A lot of fun.

Micah: They did wrap up by announcing that LeakyCon will be in Portland next year, returning to Portland. Eric, were you there last time?

Eric: Yeah, 2013, I want to say. It was really good. Get some Voodoo Doughnuts while you’re there.

Andrew: Well, we are glad you had a great time at LeakyCon, and hope all of our listeners who went also had a great time as well. Sounds like a lot of fun. One other quick little announcement, very exciting news for those of you who listen to MuggleCast on Spotify. If you are a patron, you can now listen to our bonus audio content, like Bonus MuggleCast and ad-free MuggleCast right within the Spotify app. Spotify and Patreon partnered to create an integration. It’s very nice, it’s very easy to set up. You just go into Spotify, you go to our show, you click the Patreon banner you see there – it says exclusive episodes for subscribers – and then you can connect your Patreon account to Spotify. And then you’ll get access to this feed, where you will see all of our bonus audio content. Again, ad-free MuggleCast and bonus MuggleCast installments, as well as any other bonus audio content that we do post on Patreon, which does happen from time to time. So definitely check that out. We’ll have a link in the show notes. If you use Spotify but aren’t a patron yet, this is a great way to support us and enjoy our twice monthly Bonus MuggleCast segments, as well as ad-free MuggleCast. No matter what podcast app you use, we would appreciate your support on Patreon as it’s what keeps the show running. We have tons of perks you can enjoy in exchange for supporting us, plus closer access to us. So check it out today and help us run the show. Thank you, everybody.


Chapter by Chapter: Seven-Word Summary


Andrew: And now with that, let’s get to Chapter by Chapter. This week we’re discussing Chapter 18 of Prisoner of Azkaban – Jason’s favorite book – “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot…”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: We’re just going to tell him what his favorite book is now.

Andrew: His favorite book so long as he’s not stranded on a desert island, then it’s Order of the Phoenix.

Jason: Yes.

Eric: Or Half-Blood.

Andrew: Yeah. All right, so we will start as always with our Seven-Word Summary.

[Seven-Word Summary music plays]

Eric: Lupin…

Micah: … reveals…

Laura: … backstory…

Andrew: … to…

Jason: … many…

Eric: … children…

Micah: … ta-dah!

[Everyone laughs]

[Seven-Word Summary music ends]

Andrew: The dream scenario would have been “many scared children” or something like that.

Eric: Oh, yeah. Or “to many shocking… gasps,” or something. Yeah, I botched that. I’ll blame myself.

Andrew: It’s okay.

Laura: Honestly, I love it when we have to end our Seven-Word Summary in a “Ta-dah!” or “Hurray!”

[Jason and Laura laugh]

Eric: We love it. We’ll just have to see how the listeners feel about it, because we are ranking these, again, on OWL grading scales.


Chapter by Chapter: Main Discussion


Eric: Something that kind of shocked me going into this chapter is, you know, we’re at the end of this book and all the chapters do tend to bleed together. They all are set, like, within minutes or immediately after each other. And they’re all roughly about 25 pages or so… maybe like 20-25 pages. Not this one. Chapter 18, “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs” is only nine pages long. It’s a quick read; Jim Dale gets through it in like 18 minutes. It’s actually closer to 14 if you put him on 1.2 speed, which I do.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: So it’s a quick chapter. I’ve actually managed to listen to it like four times to prep for this because it’s so short.

Andrew: When you call this out, I was wondering, is it the shortest chapter in the series? So I did a quick Google, and the answer is no. However, it looks like the shortest chapter in the series is actually two chapters from now: Chapter 20, “The Dementor’s Kiss,” capped at 2,018 words.

Eric: So I know we’ll get into what does happen in this chapter, and we do have some fun food for thought and stuff from Potter-no-more to discuss as well to kind of flesh out discussion. But going into how short this chapter is, and asking myself why that might be, it does cover a very specific set of events, which is at the beginning of the chapter, they finish after the big reveal of last chapter that Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew. They stop talking about Peter Pettigrew so that Lupin can tell his whole werewolf backstory story, but that happens where they change topic right as Snape comes in. So we know that Severus Snape sneaks in under the Invisibility Cloak. That’s the big reveal at the end of this chapter. So all this stuff about Scabbers being Peter Pettigrew is actually very specifically out of his earshot. So later, when the children have to fight with Dumbledore and Fudge about “Oh, no, we really saw Peter, he’s really alive…” Snape, who’s being awful – not to get too ahead of ourselves – really actually didn’t hear anything about Peter. So maybe the reason that this is a separate chapter is just for the author to very specifically have this set of events be focused on as one specific thing. Does that make sense to you guys?

Andrew: I think so. And you see each chapter end on a cliffhanger quite a bit, and there was a cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter, too, so I’m thinking maybe that’s why. But you also have to wonder, maybe this was an editor decision to, like, “Hey, this chapter is getting a little long,” (the previous chapter, I mean), “let’s maybe split it right here, where there could be a nice cliffhanger.” Because you also think about the chapter titles! They’re so similar, which we spoke about.

Eric: So getting into the events of the chapter: Lupin has just revealed that Scabbers the rat is an Animagus named Peter Pettigrew. Sirius is really kind of out of control. He leaps onto Ron, who’s injured already, and is only stopped by Lupin saying very loudly that the children have a right to know. I mean, it’s funny because Sirius has this great line at the beginning of the chapter, “I’d like to commit the murder I was imprisoned for.” Great line. But Sirius really has no concept, or seems to care at all, about what leaving Pettigrew alive would do, in a sense of clearing his own name. Sirius is not trying to reveal the fraud. He’s not trying to reveal Pettigrew so that he could get his life back. He actually just wants to kill him. So why so little regard for himself in this matter? And you all know my feelings on Sirius Black being my favorite character, but I dare to ask the question: Is it charming that Sirius just wants to commit the murder? Not save himself?

Andrew: I think it speaks to his mental state.

Laura: Yes, I was going to say I think it’s actually really sad. When I was thinking about this question, I was thinking about his first attempt, his failed attempt to kill Peter. He did it in front of a street of witnesses, so clearly after losing his best friend and Lily and presumably his godson, because they’re not going to let him live with Sirius, he probably feels like he’s a marked man, and that nothing he can do will ever erase the stigma of being believed to have been the person who betrayed the Potters. So he doesn’t think he has any life to live for at this point. And that is such a dark thought, I know, but if you think about the fact that Sirius spent the prime years of his life imprisoned when he was actually innocent, so much of his life has already been lost. And he’s had 12 years to stew on this betrayal. Ultimately it’s been, I think, probably one of the only things that he has thought about for that period of time. So what’s his motivation apart from getting revenge on Peter, at this point?

Eric: That is such an interesting point.

Micah: Right. He can’t know that Lupin is going to show up, so the motivation, as you said, Laura, is to kill Pettigrew. That’s been his mission ever since he saw him in the Daily Prophet back in Azkaban, was to escape and to pay back Peter for everything that he has put Sirius through over the course of the last 12 years. So certainly, things change once Lupin arrives, and you would think that Sirius would want to approach things a little bit differently now that you actually have somebody there who can validate your claim. But going back to the point that was mentioned about mental state, I think it’s just like, blinders are on and he’s got one clear objective, and nothing is going to stop him from doing that. And, nine pages long – they could have fit this in the damn movie.

Andrew: Ooh!

Laura: Yeah.

Micah: Parts of it are in the movie, but the whole Marauders reveal isn’t, which is a joke, but that’s a conversation for another time.

Eric and Laura: Yeah.

Eric: We know the argument about making something Harry’s story, but they’re literally telling this story to Harry and it affects his parents, so… anyway.

Andrew: While we are on the subject of the movie, I will just add that I loved this scene in the movie, this broader scene. I still remember going to the movie and leaning forward in my seat when Snape appeared. I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is a soap opera. This is good. This is juicy. This is twisty.” Because you’re seeing all these iconic actors working together as the kids sort of take a back seat. Ahh! I’ll never forget that feeling of just being so into it.

Micah: “Still bickering like an old married couple.” Right?

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I do love that. No, the scene is really good, but I will agree that the biggest miss of the third movie was not introducing the Marauders or explaining their backstory or connection to the overall plot.

Micah: 100%. Lupin, how do you know how the map works?

Laura: [sighs] I know.

Jason: That is the reason why I saw the third movie in theaters and then refused to watch it for many years after. I hated it. I was so mad because of that omission. I’ve since rewatched it and I actually really, really enjoy the movie, but that still really bothers me.

Eric: I feel it.

Laura: It’s a glaring issue, for sure.

Eric: When we talk about Sirius’s single mindedness, Laura, and what you said about “He has little to live for,” it occurred to me that it isn’t really until Harry offers to live with Sirius that Sirius thinks for the first time that there is a future really, at all, one worth living.

Andrew: Hey, really quickly, though: I think that Marauders scene? It needs to be in the TV show.

Eric: Should we Max that?

Andrew: Oh, it’s got to be Maxed. Max that!

[“Max That” sound effect plays]

Eric: Max that. They wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, would they?

[Everyone laughs]

Jason: I hope not.

Andrew: But you can also think about how, when we do learn about the Marauders, we could get flashback scenes there to them becoming Animagi, as we’ll talk about in a little bit.

Eric: Yeah, and for the love of God, cast the Marauders and give them actual lines. None of this three-second-flashback-everything-happening-at-once kind of crap. The whole way when we did get anything Marauders-related, even in “Snape’s Worst Memory” in 5, or “The Prince’s Tale” in 8… It’s just way glossed over, and nobody ever took the time for it. Here’s something else that’s happening at the beginning of this chapter: Scabbers is struggling to get free. Obviously, we know why. And Ron is doing his damnedest to hold him, but his hands are cut up, they’re bleeding… it’s actually really difficult to read. And they’re all having this conversation about Peter and Scabbers and all this stuff, it’s like… at one point, Sirius leaps on to Ron, Ron falls back on his broken leg, and the whole time, amid all that pain, is still holding onto Scabbers. My question is, isn’t there some kind of magical stasis? We can talk about this, but we’ve literally seen what Hermione does with the Cornish Pixies, “Arresto momentum” is the thing that Dumbledore does… there has to be some way where Ron doesn’t have to hold Scabbers, who’s scraping his hands to get out, while they have a human conversation. These adult wizards… let’s just say Lupin, as a teacher, should have some kind of solution for this.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Laura:Levioso.” [laughs]

Andrew: Create a cage out of thin air, a little tiny rat cage.

Eric: A teeny little rat cage! Yeah.

Andrew: Put him in a rat wheel that he can’t get out of. [laughs] A spinning wheel, a hamster wheel.

Laura: Yeah, that way he can run, he just won’t go anywhere.

Andrew: There you go. And generate a little energy in the process.

Eric: This is where this book is my favorite, I can say without any uncertainty. Not trying to show you up there, Jason; I appreciate your indecisiveness.

[Jason laughs]

Eric: But I would say – well, 6 is another one. But yeah, I would say that there are these moments here – twice in this chapter, I think – where there’s magic that the teachers should know that they don’t use. We’ll get into that. But sort of the main point of this chapter is to have Lupin be able to tell the story of how Harry’s dad and his friends all became Animagi to be with Lupin during his werewolf transformation. It’s a great story we’ll get into, and essentially it comes down to… Lupin was bitten as a child, and he would not normally have been able to attend Hogwarts, if it weren’t for one Headmaster Albus – formerly Elvis – Dumbledore deciding that precautions can be taken to make it possible. And this speaks to a lot of prejudice that exists about werewolves.

Micah: Yeah, it definitely does. And one of the things that came to mind for me was that it demonstrates that throughout the course of wizarding history, as far as we know, there’s been no strong desire for the wizarding community to invest in ways to either cure lycanthropy or better integrate werewolves into wizarding society. This is not a 20th century issue. Presumably, werewolves have been around for hundreds or thousands of years prior to this, and Lupin can’t have been the first werewolf to attend Hogwarts, whether folks knew about it or not. And so I was wondering, should there be a school specifically for werewolves and other wizarding world beings or creatures? Or does that defeat the entire purpose of having an integrated magical society?

Andrew: I do think the latter.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: But they still need some sort of support group at the school, not just a type of place for them to go and hide. It should be like… you think about in high school, you see the LGBTQ ally groups. Maybe something like that, just so they feel less alone and they feel more supported?

Eric: How do you feel it defeats the purpose of the magical…? What does that mean?

Micah: Well, I was saying, would creating a school specifically for werewolves defeat the purpose of trying to have a more integrated society?

Andrew: Because then’d feel, like, othered.

Eric: But without providing resources for these very real people that have this… you know, they’ve been cursed. Then you’re really dooming them to a life of otherness, and it’s a lot worse than what Dumbledore does.

Micah: So I think you could look at what Dumbledore does through two separate lenses. I think you could look at it through the lens of him helping Lupin and providing a place for him to actually transform, but at the same time, he’s not doing anything to try and integrate him into the larger school community that’s there. And outing Lupin would be a terrible thing, obviously. But I just think that maybe Dumbledore could have taken other steps during normal school hours to try and make Lupin feel more welcome, and teach the students, essentially, that what Lupin is going through is normal, even though that’s not how kids would initially perceive it.

Andrew: And wasn’t his fault.

Laura: But also, I don’t think anyone in Lupin’s position wants to be an object lesson for other people. That would probably be pretty uncomfortable. Probably one of the best things that Dumbledore could do for Lupin is make his schooling experience as normal as possible. So y’all know that I’m not a Dumbledore apologist here, but I think that given the circumstances and the lack of resources, the lack of social understanding, and the lack of any kind of government support or medicinal remedy at this point, I think Dumbledore actually did the best he could here. This is a rare defense.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: But he doesn’t make Lupin feel comfortable necessarily. It’s James, Sirius, and Peter that ultimately make Lupin feel comfortable because they go the extra mile to become Animagi and still be his friend in that form as much as they are when they’re in human form.

Eric: There is that question about what is the responsibility of the administrator, and the administrator answers to the safety of all the students, right? It’s said multiple times in this chapter that werewolves really are dangerous. If Snape had encountered Lupin when he was in his werewolf form, he says it would have been awful. And James, who at that time was able to transform, still put himself in great risk, according to Lupin, for pulling Snape back while he was human. So there’s apparently this huge danger, that again, is not really fleshed out. But it just shows that… I think Dumbledore’s responsibility ends at making Lupin’s transformations safe to the rest of the students. And then, as you point out, though, Micah, there was a vacuum of the emotional fulfillment that could only be, I think, filled by friends who would do this sort of thing that they ended up doing for Lupin.

Laura: Yeah. And I think in that… and I mean, this is just me trying to put myself in Lupin’s shoes. If I were in his position, I don’t know that I would want a school administrator facilitating my friendships for me to help me feel included. Because that just feels like it’s done out of pity, and I don’t want that. So it’s probably a lot more gratifying for Lupin in that he made these friends organically. And because of what good friends they ended up being, they did this objectively selfless thing for him. It was dangerous, but they did it.

Andrew: I think the other question is, what does Lupin want? Does he want other students to know that he’s a werewolf in a way that is safe and won’t scare people off from him? What does he want? I think that’s the main question we would need to be asking Lupin.

Eric: I think inevitably, you’d get those students that would go looking for the troll. They’d go looking for the werewolf, if Lupin had been outed, and that would have been a whole nightmare. I think, too, the thing is, Lupin just wanted to be normal. He wanted to be somewhere safe. And then when you’re a kid, you absolutely want to blend in, right? You want nobody to know. I think that maybe outing Lupin to a school body or saying “Werewolves are safe” or teaching tolerance may have been in the cards immediately after seven successful years of hiding it, right? If the first war hadn’t derailed everything, with Voldemort and everything, I can easily see the teachers then going, “For seven years, we have had a werewolf at our school, and it was safe, objectively, except for one run-in with Severus Snape, the whole time. Let this be an example to all other schools everywhere, and let this be an example to the student body that these people suffering from this affliction can be safely educated along with the rest of us.” And that would have led this whole werewolf rights kind of organization, but Voldemort happened.

Micah: Yeah, you bring up an interesting point, I almost wonder if you could bring in an adult or a group of adults who are werewolves and could teach this younger generation what to do when they transform. It seems to be that in this particular wizarding world, you lose all sense of yourself regardless of whether or not you’re a child or you’re an adult. But I think we’ve seen in other series there is some level of awareness when you transform into a werewolf and being able to control your abilities, so I wonder if that could be something down the line that they do explore at Hogwarts.

Eric: So Potter-no-more actually went into some of the backstory of Remus Lupin. It’s a good, pretty long article. But the key moment here is that Lupin’s father, Lyle Lupin, had a moment of prejudice. Essentially, Lyle was at the Ministry of Magic and made a negative comment about werewolves in front of Fenrir Greyback, who basically was shocked by the lack of Lyle’s humanity and compassion toward werewolves, and decided to retaliate. And nothing can forgive what Grayback does and the methods of going about it, but you do kind of understand in that moment the motivation of… essentially Lyle Lupin said an unkind thing. He said that werewolves were soulless and deserved death and could not be rehabilitated. And you can easily look at many examples of people who are in a minority group that are outcasts that receive or are on the receiving end of these horrible statements, and backed into a corner about this and viewed as less than just because of their afflictions.

Laura: And we learn later, of course, that Fenrir makes a name for himself, wanting to bite children as young as possible to turn them when they’re young, which adds a whole other messed-up layer to his character because he can’t play the victim card. At that point, when you take somebody’s horrible, reprehensible behavior toward you, and it fuels and motivates you to do something ten times more heinous than words could ever be… no sympathy.

Eric: Yeah, I mean, no sympathy, but it’s interesting how we all have those moments where a prejudice maybe we weren’t even aware of came out, or we say things that we really don’t mean. And this is a very real repercussion, especially in a world that existed before the Wolfsbane Potion, which is still, as Lupin says, pretty uncomfortable, but he’s able to bear it. He’s able to bear his transformation now. It’s just a really bad situation.

Andrew: And speaking of Fenrir making an example out of young Remus, I was thinking, this backstory is very interesting. Not sure I had read it before. And it just made me think about how this is another example of a character paying for the decisions of their dad or what happened to their dad.

Laura: Ooh. Yep.

Andrew: You’ll look Harry paying it away for what happened to James, and Draco paying for how evil his father is. And here’s another example of that: Remus is paying for what happened to his dad.

Micah: Not only how evil his father is, but how much of a screw-up his father is, because that’s what leads to Voldemort wanting to recruit Draco and use him as a pawn in his larger game.

Eric: Right. It is interesting to see how the threads all connect. Even though this Lyle Lupin stuff was revealed on Pottermore years after the books had ended, the thread and the connection is still there of like, this was definitely in the author’s mind when she was writing about Lupin being turned as a kid.

Laura: It is such an interesting point, because we talk a lot about mother figures in the Potter series, but I don’t feel like we have a lot of conversations about father figures.

Eric: Hmm!

Laura: And it would be interesting to keep an eye on this throughout the rest of our Chapter by Chapter, to note the theme of fathers in Harry Potter, that the sons are paying for the sins of their fathers. Is that what’s happening here? I mean, think about the kind of father that Lupin himself turns out to be. Obviously, he’s not around to watch his son grow up, and it’s admirable that he fought in the Battle of Hogwarts. But prior to that, we saw a very undesirable side of Lupin when he was contemplating leaving his wife and newborn baby to go camping with the trio because he was scared. So it’s interesting to think about how the repercussions of perhaps Lupin’s relationship with his own father reverberate throughout the generations here.

Eric: That’s interesting. When you ask about whether the fathers and what role they play in the series has to do with their sons, I think about Voldemort, probably one of the worst villains, but his dad is actually not guilty of much. His dad was coerced via love potion into this relationship with the village tramp, and really just, in a moment of clarity, rejected her, and that was what Voldemort blames as being the whole downfall of everything. But you almost really can’t blame Tom Riddle, Sr. for his reaction after what had occurred.

Laura: Voldemort definitely does. He blames him for being a Muggle. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, that too. The idea being that if Tom Riddle, Sr. were somehow a wizard, he would have been either okay with Merope, or somehow more tolerant, which, who knows?

Micah: You see it with Snape as well, right? With Tobias being very abusive towards Eileen Prince as well as towards Snape at times, it seems. So clearly, that would have an effect on Snape and how he matured and grew up in his outlook towards other people.

Andrew: A little plug for my Slytherin Spotify playlist, which is titled “Slyth’ Life: The Sins of Somebody Else’s Past,” so, go check that out on Spotify.

Eric: Everybody listen to that. Yeah.

Andrew: So we’re going to take a little break. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I did just see kids starting to go back to school in my own town, so I guess it’s true.

Laura: What?

Jason: It’s crazy.

Andrew: I know. August 7, they went back. I’m like, “Whoa!” On the other hand, I’m like, “Yeah, get out of here. I don’t want to see you during the day,” so it’s fine.

[Laura laughs]


[HelloFresh ad break]


Eric: Well, 50 Muggles is how many people turned up at our MuggleCast Live, our meet-up.

Andrew: [laughs] Sponsored by HelloFresh!

Laura: I was going to ask if that’s our rapper name. 50 Muggle.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Somebody get on that. The possibilities are endless.

Laura: AI art! Somebody do it.

Eric: Oh god.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s time now to talk about what I am calling the greatest hoax ever perpetrated in Hogsmeade village, or maybe against Hogsmeade village. We’re going to find out. Here’s a quote from this chapter in Prisoner of Azkaban:

“This house” – Lupin looked miserably around the room, – “the tunnel that leads to it – they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous.”

So Jason, you’ve got some questions here.

Jason: Yes, I was wondering, why are they using a Whomping Willow as the guardian of the entrance to this tunnel? It seems like they could have used some kind of spell or repelling charm, some kind of portrait that recognizes only Lupin… I don’t know, something. Why a Whomping Willow? Is it just because Dumbledore loves the drama of a violent tree?

Laura: Yes. That is the answer.

Andrew: Absolutely. And I love the steam we have picked up on in Chapter by Chapter: Dumbledore loves the chaos. He loves some mess going on around the school. And I picture Pillsbury Dough Boy Dumbledore just being like, “Ooh, this is going to be fun!” like, when you poke the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: There’s got to be a little danger.

Eric: But what was the in character…? What’s the canon explanation? What’s the contemporaneous explanation for why this tree is there? What did the fifth, sixth, or seventh year Hogwarts students think about this? If you’re coming to Hogwarts the first time, and yeah, there’s a Whomping Willow on the grounds, like Harry and Ron discover in their second year quite directly. [laughs] It’s just there. It’s just Hogwarts. It’s just this security nightmare, normal, everyday thing. But if you’re first putting it there, doesn’t that draw attention, actually, to what you’re trying to do in concealing a secret pathway? Or what would Dumbledore have said to explain it at the start of term feast?

Andrew: Could he just say it magically came out of nowhere? Like it just grew really big really quick? I guess that’s believable in the wizarding world.

Eric: Maybe he would have said that it’s like an endangered species of plant, and “Don’t get near it.” Like, “We’ve agreed to bring Willows back to the forefront” kind of a thing. Tree nurseries are totally a thing.

Andrew: Yeah, like, “This is an endangered species. Sprout thought this would be a good idea. It’d be a good lesson for the students.” It’d be all one big lie and you all would get to gleefully up the Dumbledore lie count, but it’s a good lie.

Eric: We’re going to do that anyway.

Micah: He’s Headmaster, though. Nobody is going to question his decisions. If he wants to plant a tree, let him plant a tree, right?

Andrew: Let him play in a dangerous tree. It’s fine.

Eric: Well, there’s this thing here, but it hits back, is the thing.

Micah: Well, most things that Hogwarts hit back.

[Eric and Micah laugh]

Andrew: Damage you in some way.

Micah: My greater question is: Why was it never removed after Lupin left? Why is it on the Hogwarts grounds yours and years later? It’s a security nightmare.

Eric: I think it was because it was so successful, right, at actually achieving what it set out to do. So the idea is, although we don’t hear about any other werewolf students coming throughout the years, which would actually solve the big gaping plot hole here… it just is perfect. They already had it in place, so they kept it. Makes sense to me. Here’s another quote from Lupin:

“My transformations in those days were – were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise -“

Meaning the villages of Hogsmeade…

“… heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor… Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don’t dare approach it.”

So this is a lie that actually worked too well, in my mind. This is so good. If the shack was built the same year that Lupin came, which is what he says. He says, “This house and the tunnel were built for me.” A little bit more than just lying had to have occured here. I think this is Memory Charm territory. You have to convince… we’ve heard from earlier in the book that the Shrieking Shack is one of the oldest, most haunted dwellings in Britain. But if it’s from the ’70s, there’s probably, like, a conversation pit. It’s probably like very janky carpet…

Andrew: [laughs] Conversation pit.

Eric: Yeah, you know, all those ’70s features.

Andrew: Yeah, I saw Mad Men. I know what you’re talking about.

Eric: Well yeah, gross, but not haunted. An eyesore, sure, but not the most haunted dwelling in Britain. I’m thinking that you need to almost convince an entire village – which is a close-knit community, it’s the only all-wizarding community in Britain – that this house always was there or something, right? New houses don’t get haunted. So what exactly went into this whole hoax?

Laura: Yeah, it’s so interesting that you bring that up. Did they definitively say that the Shrieking Shack was built for Lupin?

Eric: He said the house and the tunnel were… I’ll get the exact quote. But yeah, he says, “It was built for me.”

Laura: Wow.

Andrew: Yeah, at the top of this header here. “This house – the tunnel that leads to it – they were built for my use.”

Laura: Okay, wow.

Andrew: The Lupin Shack.

Laura: That is so interesting. I never picked up on that. But you’re right, there’s this whole subtextual question about, okay, well, then how were people convinced that this happened? It had to be some kind of Memory Charm or something. Some kind of manipulation. Did he go around and place false memories for people?

Eric: These are crimes!

Laura: Crimes of Dumbledore.

Eric: I mean, here’s the thing. I really just want to up the Dumbledore lie count, which we’ve failed to do this entire book. Probably most of Chamber, actually. The lie count – what is it at, eight? And it has been eight since like, Sorcerer’s Stone? We need to up it. And if there’s Memory Charms involved, I’m suggesting we up it by, like, ten.

Andrew: Oh, stop. I’ll go for one. Ten?

Eric: He lied to at least ten people. Well, it’s a big lie, but here’s the thing: Nearly Headless Nick also is running interference. Ron asks him earlier in the book about the Shrieking Shack, and Nick says to Ron, “I heard a really dangerous crowd hangs out there.” And I’m thinking, what’s the backstory here? Does Nick actually believe that there’s rough spirits… which, convincing ghosts that there’s rough ghosts somewhere is another feat in and of itself. Or since Lupin was a Gryffindor, did Dumbledore come to Nick and say, “As the Gryffindor ghost, can you protect the anonymity of this student by starting to tell people that the shack is haunted?” Etc, etc, etc. Is there a narrative there where it’s like, Dumbledore also recruits the ghosts to tell other ghosts that that shack is haunted? Because you just get the Shrieking Shack, which has been empty and only ever was in use for the first seven years that it existed, but it’s the most haunted dwelling in Britain.

Jason: Well, I’m wondering if it’s like… maybe the house is new, but maybe the site, the land, the area was haunted before. Have you seen the movie Poltergeist? I’m wondering if it’s some kind of situation like that that’s happening, or… I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, I like that because if you’re disturbing the sacred land or this haunted land with the house, of course, the spirits on the land that was there and undisturbed are going to be annoyed about the Shrieking Shack, and thus could inhabit it and cause a stir.

Laura: Yeah, and I think part of this could be chalked up to community superstition. We all had a “haunted house” that we were aware of as kids, right? There was always a rumor that some house in your neighborhood or in your community was haunted, and there’s not really any good reason for believing that apart from the fact that everybody else believed it. So when you’re expecting to see creepy things, you will see creepy things. You’re putting the thought in your head, and you’re thus sort of perceiving that which you expect to perceive. So that’s part of this, I think.

Eric: I mean, the screams were real for about seven years, and they can’t have sounded great, especially when Lupin talks about what he was doing to himself. Obviously, it’s a huge deterrent. But it somehow morphed in its storytelling to be the most haunted dwelling in Britain, which may itself be a commentary on how the author feels about haunted houses, right? They’re secretly absolutely nothing, which is actually funny to me. I still find that very funny that the most haunted dwelling in Britain has been disused.

Micah: I think it’s just also another statement on things aren’t always what they appear to be, right? That is a major theme that runs throughout the course of this particular book, and probably a lot throughout the series, that things aren’t always what they seem to be. But Eric, you’re talking about how Lupin is scratching, biting, doing all these terrible things to himself. Do no other students notice this? Presumably, when he comes back from the Shrieking Shack – and I know Madam Pomfrey is with him for a period of time – but one would assume that regardless of how good her work is, students would notice that Lupin is disappearing for periods of time and then coming back to school and looking like he’s been in some sort of terrible accident.

Andrew: Makeup covering it up, with long sleeves.

Eric: Well, minor cuts and bruises… what does Madame Pomfrey say? She can heal wounds in an instant, or even mend bones. If you can do that kind of magic, there’s a potion that’ll heal you pretty much instantly. They will have noticed Lupin… the same thing that Harry notices, his professor looking more ragged and paler than ever with shabbier clothing. But the cuts and bruises aspect I think will mostly have been taken care of by Madame Pomfrey, who was – last week’s Quizzitch question – taking him to and from the shack. But here’s what happens: After the first year – we’re going to get into this as the second half of our discussion – when the rest of Lupin’s friends notice what he is, there’s immediately that wall of protection around him. So I don’t think anybody would have been able to view Lupin coming off of his werewolf transformation with any degree of scrutiny or closeness because you have the Marauders doing a flying V and protecting him. I think that once they discovered Lupin’s secret, they would have taken effort to make sure nobody else did, which is why it took the only person who ever did discover it, Snape, to learn it was years later. They would have protected it. But yeah, just wrapping up this hoax. Here’s what I think went down. I think that Dumbledore convinced Madam Rosmerta to say that the kitchen is broken at the Three Broomsticks and the only place people could go to in Hogsmeade was the Hog’s Head, where Dumbledore’s brother is the chef, and Dumbledore’s brother fed them all a potion that made them forget that the building wasn’t always there. And then they woke up saying, “Oh yeah, that Shrieking Shack has always been there.” And that’s how they did it.

Andrew: Okay. [laughs]

Laura; Yeah, I actually like it. Again, it fits in with this theme of Dumble-drama.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Dumble-drama. Has that been an episode title yet? I don’t think so.

Eric: Maybe. We’re going to cue the lightning because I’m glad you agree. I declare canon!

Andrew: Wait, do you want to declare canon, or Dumbledore lie count? Because we still have to formally do that as well.

Eric: Oh, he lied. Okay.

Andrew: Okay, all right.

[Dumbledore lie count sound effect plays]

Andrew: Okay. That needs a lightning bolt at the end of it, I think.

Laura: It does, yeah.

Eric: The Dumbledore lie count has officially been updated for the first time since, I don’t know, 2021? It is now at nine.

Laura: Yay!

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: But here’s my question: Is the lie for the Shrieking Shack, or is the lie to the rest of the student body that Lupin is a werewolf?

Eric: Okay, there’s two lies.

Jason: D, all of the above.

Eric: I think technically, there’s two lies

[Dumbledore lie count sound effect plays]

Eric: Okay, but we’re done. I don’t think we’re going to get another opportunity for this book. Dumbledore like count is now at ten.

Laura: Yeah, don’t worry; when we get to Order of the Phoenix, we’re going to be racking them up.

Jason: It’s like, every other sentence in that book.

Andrew: All right, it’s up to the milestone ten. Congratulations, everybody. I just have no fight left in me. [sighs] I’m on the floor. You guys beat me up.

Laura: Dumbledore made us those cookies at Christmas and we still haven’t forgiven him.

Andrew: No cookies this year. It’s fine. It’s fine for my wallet.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: I want those cookies, though. I’m at least apologetic about it. Andrew, you’ve been a good sport. So we know what happens with the rest of this chapter, and again, it’s a short chapter. Not a lot happens. But Harry’s Dad… this is Harry’s investment. He finds out that his dad… he says, “My father too?” Harry is invested in the story because it offers him the slimmest of insights into what James was like as a person, so Harry is hooked. But this whole Animagus thing… we actually received the transformation process on how to become an Animagus from Wizarding World. It might have actually been Potter-no-more, but it might actually have been Wizarding World. When I look at the the web page, it says, “Written by the Wizarding World team,” so I also wonder if this was originally from J.K. Rowling or not,

Andrew: And published on March 10, 2020, which I think was after they got rid of Pottermore.

Eric: So there’s a slight question of how canonical this is, but I really don’t think Wizarding World which often did like those lowball listicle type things would have really written this if it weren’t from the author.

Andrew: It’s so specific. There’s no way they hired somebody to just pull this out of thin air.

Eric: It took the Marauders three years, from their second to their fifth year, to do all of this, and you’ll understand why when we…

Andrew: This thing is insane, and Jason did a great job of offering some extra analysis for each step, almost every step, so I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say, Jason.

Eric: Yeah, let’s do a rotating host thing of the steps. We’ll start with Andrew.

Andrew: Okay, so Step 1 is do your homework in Transfiguration and Potions, at least. Becoming an Animagus requires a witch or wizard to be skilled in both these areas in order to stand a chance of achieving such a complex transformation.

Eric: This reminds me of when Tonks is talking about how to be a Metamorphmagus and how she’s very clumsy and isn’t good at most magic, but the ones that make you more sneaky and things are definitely the ones like self-transfiguration. Okay, and here’s an interesting one, and probably my favorite step. Step 2: Carry a single Mandrake leaf in your mouth for an entire month. From full moon to full moon – shout-out to full moons. Yeah, we’re serious. If you swallow the leaf or remove it from your mouth at any point, you have to start the thing again. No one likes to see that happen. You then have to find a “small crystal phial” that receives the pure rays of the moon. Put your saliva-filled leaf inside and add one of your own hairs.

Andrew: Nope.

Laura: Ew.

Eric: This is some straight-up werewolf/Polyjuice/whatever else is going on here process, and I love it.

Andrew: I’m out. I’m out, though. It’s Step 2 of 8. Because think about… I like chewing gum. Think about how you want to get rid of the gum after 30-45 minutes in your mouth. You’ve got to keep that Mandrake leaf in your mouth for a whole month? Think how tasteless that’s going to be. What about eating other food? You’ve got to store it like a chipmunk in the side of your mouth before you swallow the rest of your food. This is crazy.

Laura: Or what about brushing your teeth? Did James, Sirius, and Peter just have stank breath for an entire month?

Eric: There are charms for that. You can you can “Evanesco” the bad breath, can’t you?

Laura: Send it to poop mountain.

Andrew: And there’s a running joke – let’s call it that – that people in Britain have bad teeth, peace and love, peace and love. Maybe everybody’s trying to become an Animagus.

[Jason laughs]

Laura: Please forward all complaints to andrew@mugglecast@gmail.com.

Andrew: [laughs] Yes, that’s totally a real email.

Micah: It is now.

Eric: So Jason, you had some thoughts on this Mandrake thing.

Jason: Yeah, so I was just curious about all these different ingredients that are happening here because I feel like the author is very specific when she chooses different ingredients for things. There’s always intention behind it. So I was just looking at, what are mandrakes? They come up in Book 2, and then they’re again in here. They were once considered the most important plant of the Mediterranean region. They were used in a variety of medicinal purposes, as well as witchcraft. It was believed that mandrakes could cure almost everything. They could foretell the future, and they could also shield a soldier in battle. I just thought that was really interesting.

Andrew: That is.

Eric: That’s a real palate cleanser.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: And you definitely need one after a month.

Eric: Oh, god.

Jason: Right? And also, hair comes up in many potions in this series. And I was just wondering, yeah, what is that all about? So it’s traditionally been a pretty important part of a lot of different witchcraft, and is used in a lot of potions throughout history. It symbolizes physical strength and virility.

Eric: The other thing about knowing that James, Peter, and Sirius were doing this in order to help their friend who’s a werewolf, whose cycle is judged by the moon, there’s something really interesting in knowing that the crystal phial has to be filled at the full moon, they have to wear the Mandrake leaf – well, not wear it – put it in their mouth for a month from full moon to full moon. It’s really interesting. It’s almost as if they’re harnessing… it’s almost as if this whole process goes by the same magic that causes werewolves to transform, more or less. The moon cycles are viewed as this very transformative time. But of course, there’s more that we could talk about, about how that affects Mughal humans as well. I will say, too, how did the children get away with it? Wouldn’t the teachers have noticed that James doesn’t speak for a month? Or sounds a little funky? Did they do it the same month or did they alternate? Because one student being kind of quiet – even James, a huge troublemaker – kind of quiet, okay, but three of the four of them not speaking for a month? Did they convince the teachers they were on a speaking strike? Why didn’t that raise more alarm bells?

Laura: Maybe they stayed at Hogwarts over the winter holidays and did it then, when no one was there. Maybe they did it over the summer.

Eric: Hmm. All right, who’s going to read Step 3?

Micah: I’ll read it. Add a silver teaspoon of dew from a place that the sun don’t shine.

[Laura laughs]

Micah: Oh, sorry, that neither sunlight nor human feet have touched for a full seven days. And if that wasn’t hard enough, you then have to add the chrysalis of a death.

Andrew: A Croissant.

Micah: Croissant. Excuse me.

Eric: Oh, croissant. Oh, we’re into baking now.

Micah: The chrysalis of a Death’s-head hawkmoth to the crystal phial as well. Then put this mixture in a quiet dark place and leave it alone until the next electrical storm, and really leave it alone. Don’t even look at it. Don’t even think about looking at it.

Andrew: Okay, and I want to amend what I said about Rowling writing this. I bet she gave them rough notes, like the facts, the bare bones facts, and then they punched it up with some color because clearly a lot of this was not written by Rowling.

Eric: Don’t even look at it. Don’t even think about looking at it!

Jason: Don’t even think about it!

Andrew: Or “Yes, we’re serious” in Step 2.

Eric: Right. But dew from a place that neither sunlight nor human feet have touched, I don’t even know how you’d find such a place.

Andrew: A cave.

Eric: And before television? How do you know when an electrical storm is going to occur? Specifically an electrical storm. Not all storms, presumably, are electrical storms, so I don’t even know. I’m lost. I would fail.

Jason: You have to keep your eye out on the sky.

Eric: A chrysalis is the insect pupa, so the transformation from egg to caterpillar to chrysalis and an adult. It’s once they’re a caterpillar, before they become a butterfly.

Laura: What about the moths? Jason?

Jason: Yeah, Death’s-head hawkmoths. That sounds really intense to me. So I was like, what is that? They’re these huge, crazy moths that are very common in Britain, apparently. They have been used in literature throughout history, including Shakespeare, to symbolize death and the fear of death, which is why they’re called Death’s-head hawkmoths. If you look on their back, they have a patterning that kind of looks like a skull. I was wondering, could that symbolize the death of your being and your rebirth as your Animagus?

Andrew: I could definitely see that.

Eric and Laura: Yeah.

Eric: If you look at death, the tarot card, it means change. Transformation. A new beginning.

Micah: Can you get one of these in Animal Crossing?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: They are Hufflepuff colors. That’s fun.

Laura: That’s a really good call-out. Thanks for looking that up, Jason. It says Step 4: While waiting for the transfiguration to begin, you must place your wand tip over your heart every sunrise and sundown and speak the following incantation: “Amato Animo Animato Animagus.” Oh man, I need to do that again.

Andrew: Oh, you failed! You’ve got to start all the way at the beginning again.

Jason: Start over at Step 1.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: No. “Amato Animo Animato Animagus.” There you go. If you keep repeating your incantation, there will come a time when, with the touch of the wand tip to the chest, a second heartbeat may be sensed. Don’t change anything! Keep going. Keep waiting for that storm!

Andrew: Wow, inspiring. And Jason, you have another storm call-out here.

Jason: Yeah, so lightning storms also in literature and historically represent uncertainty, madness, or chaos.

Andrew: Cool.

Eric: 1.21 gigawatts!

[Laura laughs]

Micah: I will say, I think this is a great thing to include in Hogwarts Legacy, to make this a mission.

Andrew: No, absolutely not. An eight-step quest? All of this?

Eric: A three-year mission?

Andrew: I was actually thinking that while reading through this list.

Micah: What else you gonna do on a DLC?

Andrew: If I saw this quest, I would be like, I’m never beating that. I’m never doing that one. It’s too much work.

Laura: Oh my god.

Micah: Come on.

Laura: No! I would love it. I’m a completionist, so I would love it.

Eric: You have to hold down L2 for a month.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Exactly!

Eric: To keep it under your tongue for a month. You can’t even sit down in this game, but you’ve got to hold the Mandrake root under your tongue.

Laura: And then at sunrise and sunset every day, you have to take your controller and hold it against your heart and repeat this incantation.

Eric: You shake the controller to the syllables “Amato Animo Animato Animagus.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: All right, Jason, do you want to take Step 5?

Jason: As soon as lightning appears in the sky, go to the place where you’ve hidden your crystal phial. At last! If you’ve done everything right, then you will discover a mouthful of blood red potion inside it. Then move somewhere where you aren’t going to alarm anyone or place yourself in physical danger during your transformation. An Animagus transformation party is definitely a bad idea. And to that I say, an Animagus transformation party sounds so fun. I’m wondering if the Marauders did this?

Laura: They did. It’s like a reveal, right? Because you find out what you’re going to turn into.

Eric: An animal reveal party, with potential devastating consequences. A forest could burn down. Yeah, this whole thing… I knew where this was going once you put like the moth in the vial, or the chrysalis stage and then like it becomes a potion… yeah, sorry, you’re going to have to drink the potion, guys.

Andrew: We need to come up with a playlist for the party. I’m thinking “Roar” by Katy Perry.

Eric: Oh, this is such a thing that we need to do!

Micah: Maybe that’s what I’ll do instead of Ravenclaw Part 2. I’ll do a Spotify playlist for the Animagus transformation party.

Andrew: U2 has a song called “Electrical Storm.” Katy Perry also did a song for the Pokémon movie called “Electric.” We can find something about eating leaves or something.

Eric: There’s an “Electric Slide.”

Andrew: Step 6: Place your wand tip against your heart and speak the incantation, “Amato Animo Animato Animagus,” and drink the potion. You will then feel fiery pain – lucky you – and an intense double heartbeat. Oh no, I don’t need a heart palpitation going on. And Jason, again, a great breakdown here of what each of these words means.

Jason: Yeah, so it’s all Latin. As we know, we love Latin in this series. So “Amato” is “I love” or “I am obliged to.” “Animo” means “animal.” “Animato” means “I animate” or “I fill with breath or life.” And then “Animagus” is a portmanteau of “Animo” and “Magus,” which is “animal” and “wizard.” So altogether, this incantation makes a lot of sense. It’s saying, “I love the animal, I animate it, I fill it with the breath of life, and now I’m an animal wizard.”

Eric: Wow. Yeah, that’s really cool.

Laura: I love that this establishes the Animagus as like, a separate life and entity altogether.

Eric: Yeah. And this is where we get into the real dangers, which is why they warn against Animagus parties. Step 7 leads into it, but it’s Step 8 that’s truly terrifying. Step 7 is: The shape of the creature into which you will shortly transform will appear in your mind. The instructions then warn, you must show no fear. It is too late now to escape the change you have willed. Yikes! “Yikes” is part of the step, I think.

Laura: Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Micah: I feel like they should only have seven steps, if it isn’t.

Eric: Yeah, well, Step 7 is kind of a BS step.

Micah: We’ll combine the two together, how about that? So Step 8: When your transformation is complete, you are strongly advised to pick up your wand and hide it somewhere safe so you can find it post-transformation. To return to human form, visualize your human self as clearly as you can. Don’t worry if you don’t change back immediately. With practice, you’ll be able to slip in and out of your animal form at will, simply by visualizing the creature. Once you’re an advanced Animagus, you should be able to transform without your wand.

Jason: So I was thinking, depending on what animal you turn into… like what if you turn into a worm or a caterpillar? And they’re like, “Okay, and then hide your wand!” It’s like, how am I going to hide my wand as a worm?

[Jason and Laura laugh]

Eric: I think you hide it outside of yourself.

Andrew: Buried somewhere.

Jason: But am I doing that after my transformation as a worm? Or am I out there as a worm digging a hole and putting my wand in it?

Andrew: Worms do go into the ground themselves, right? I see what you’re saying.

Eric: Yeah, because your wand needs to be placed against your heart when you initiate the transformation, but then you need a quick place to stow it before…

Andrew: It’s another step, really. It’s hide your wand at the same time as you’re transforming.

Micah: I guess that part of it makes more sense, Andrew, versus once you’re fully transformed. Because think of Rita Skeeter. How would she hide her wand as something so small? She’d not have the strength to do that.

Andrew: I’m going to be something very large, so I’m not going to have this problem.

Micah: I see.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, we’re going to talk about Animagi.

Micah: I did want to mention, too, for connecting the threads a bit, we do get introduced to an Animagus in the very first chapter of the series in Professor McGonagall, but we’re not explicitly told what it is, and that’s something that J.K. Rowling is very good at doing. We were talking about hiding things in plain sight; it definitely happens with McGonagall in the first chapter of Sorcerer’s Stone.

Eric: That’s a great point. So I think canonically, we can all agree that the Marauders have each seen each other naked.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Just throwing that out there. No further point.

Laura: The Wolfstar shippers are all about it.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: That just caught me off-guard. I was like, okay, yeah.

Eric: And Jason, you have another point here, just about what if your animal form is a water-dwelling creature that can’t breathe above ground and you didn’t know it until this very moment when you’re transforming? And it’s like, “Wait, I’m a fish? I have to find a lake!”

Jason: Right? Or a dolphin and I’m like, “I need seawater. I can’t just go in the Great Lake at Hogwarts; that probably won’t work.” I don’t know. Maybe a dolphin would.

Andrew: You need to be safe. You need to be on a shoreline, so if you do transform into a sea creature, you can just toss yourself into the water when it happens.

Jason: If you transform into a whale, then you’re just a beached whale.

Eric: Aww.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, that explains all the beached whales we keep seeing. They’re Animagi.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: They actually didn’t come from the ocean; they were just on the coast when they transformed. Figured it out.

Eric: Honestly, after reading about this whole process, it does make sense why – a few weeks’ ago Quizzitch answer – seven people have done this in the last century. Really not that many. It probably doesn’t appeal to a lot of people. I’d be interested in picking McGonagall’s brain about why she did it. But it’s a lot of work and you may not like the reward.

Micah: Part of me wonders how much time you have between Step 7 and Step 8 because if you are able to visualize what you are, Jason, maybe then you can get yourself to the appropriate location before you fully transform. So if you are a fish or a dolphin or any other sea creature, you can find your way to the ocean or to a lake. But that’s just my headcanon.

Eric: So we have a few Animagus points, but first I do want to ask what Animagus would we all think that we would be?

Andrew: Well, I’m just going to say what I want to be, which is an orca whale because I loved them as a child and I want to be taking down yachts across the world.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Andrew wants to eat the rich.

Eric: With a righteous fury. Oh my god. Okay, that’s great. Well, this whole talk about dolphins and whales interests me because I think living in the water, or being able to survive underwater and go deep, would be probably the most exciting thing for me next to flying, which leads to my choice. So I figured I would want to fly, and in consulting Meg about like, “But is it really realistic for me to be a bird? I feel like an owl is too one certain way or an eagle is too, like, another certain way.” And Meg had the idea, and I agreed with it immediately: I would be a pigeon. Because they’re urbanites, they’re very social creatures, and you often catch them, especially in the colder months, cuddling.

Laura: Aww.

Andrew: Cute.

Eric: So that’s the sweet explanation. But yeah, I think pigeon 100% would be my Animagus form.

Laura: I love that. Mine would be a raccoon. This is for a couple of different reasons. First of all, when I think about raccoons, the word that immediately comes to mind is “resourceful.” And that’s something that I value, so I could see myself doing that. The other side of this is I love Rocket Raccoon, so there’s that connection. But like you, Eric, I also consulted my significant other in asking, “Hey, what would my Animagus be?” And he was like, “You’d be a raccoon.” And I was like, “Are you saying I’m a trash panda?”

[Jason and Laura laugh]

Eric: That was my first… I was like, “Okay, Laura choose to be a trash panda. All right, here we do.”

Laura: Listen, they’re adorable, though, at the end of the day. They are trash pandas, but they make the best with what they have.

Jason: They’re so cute.

Laura: I know, and they’re very cute. So I could see myself being a raccoon. Plus, their little hands are so adorable.

Eric: They do have little hands.

Jason: I was going to mention their little hands. They’re so cute.

Andrew: [laughs] No, no, no, no, no, and no.

Laura: You wouldn’t hang out with me?

Andrew: No, I wouldn’t. [laughs] I’d swim out to sea, or I’d eat you.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: I chose a lemur.

Eric: Aww.

Laura: They’re very cute.

Micah: I mean, I like the ability to climb, get into tough places. And actually, when I was doing some research, it says that for some folks, lemurs are the symbol of good luck. And they connote kindness, respect, positivity, and the importance of remembering familial connections, while honoring one’s teachers and elders.

Eric: It’s perfect for you.

Micah: They’re also really nasty to humans.

Eric: Oh!

Micah: So I thought that that kind of split dynamic worked.

Laura: I don’t blame them, honestly.

Eric: They get one island. They live on Madagascar.

Micah: That’s right.

Andrew: And then Jason, we got your answer earlier, but anything else you want to add about being a falcon?

Jason: Falcons are very strong, independent, they don’t really need other people around them, which is kind of me. I don’t know.

Andrew: Independent, okay.

Jason: And then, I just love the idea of being able to fly. That sounds amazing. And I thought about being some sort of fish or dolphin or something, but the ocean scares me, so that’s a no for me.

Eric: You’re right to be scared about the ocean.

Micah: I’m with you. We don’t know what’s down there, like, really down there.

Andrew: Well, I do, because I’m…

Jason: It’s a wild, crazy place.

Eric: Andrew knows, but there’s not a lot of natural predators for orca whales.

Andrew: Orca Andrew knows.

Eric: Yeah, orca Andrew. Maybe that’s the episode title. So yeah, getting back to the chapter. What’s interesting is that the presence of Lupin’s Animagi friends helped him keep his head a little bit, not physically, but mentally he felt more like himself, so much so that they began to roam the grounds of the castle and the village, even. Lupin ceased to… it’s almost as if somebody else was the alpha in Lupin’s transformation.

Micah: To me, it seems a bit convenient that werewolves don’t attack other animals; they only attack humans. Because I would imagine that a stag would seem a proper meal for a werewolf.

Eric: I mean, you’re right. You’re not wrong. The idea that werewolves are only a threat to humans in this world is very… I always forget that. And then it’s said, I think, at least twice in this chapter, so twice in nine pages. You know it’s important. But yeah, I don’t know why. It’s just convenience in the plot, I guess.

Micah: Yeah. And I know it’s mentioned, too, that there were a number of near misses when they were transformed, but it seemed very strange that nobody noticed a dog, a stag, a werewolf, and a rat running around together on the grounds of Hogwarts.

Eric: The only thing I’ll say to this is… bedtime, because it was always after dark in that moonlight hour, and we know how strict Hogwarts enforces its bed policy.

Andrew: And if anybody went to Dumbledore about it, he’d be like, “Ooh, I don’t know, oohoohoo.”

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well, the only time Harry sees Sirius on the grounds of Hogwarts – besides the Quidditch thing – is late at night. In the middle of the night, he and Crookshanks are working. I just assumed they operated nocturnally, basically.

Micah: But then Lupin is betraying Dumbledore’s trust by going out of the Shrieking Shack as a werewolf.

Eric: Yeah. And that’s a big character moment for Lupin. Lupin essentially is wracked with guilt over the fact that he went out, that he doesn’t tell Dumbledore the whole year that Sirius is an Animagus, so it’s lies upon lies upon lies.


Odds & Ends


Eric: I think we’re ready for the odds and ends of the chapter. Something to note: Snape reveals himself at the end of the chapter. He was able to come in wearing Harry’s Invisibility Cloak. But my question is… there’s this loud creak, the door opens, Lupin walks right up to it and is like, “Hmm, no one there.” Does he not know a spell or some way of checking? Because we later found out from the author that the way Dumbledore can “see through” Harry’s Cloak is that he’s silently casting the Homenum revelio charm, and it’s revealing to Dumbledore that there is someone there. That’s clearly not a trick Lupin picked up. And after all those years of experience with James’s cloak, they still aren’t able to, I don’t know, figure out that somebody really is there? Kind of questionable.

Micah: It’s a good point, but also, I’m curious: When Lupin discovers both Pettigrew and Sirius on the map, why does he not get Dumbledore? He’s just like, “I’m going to go run off to the tree by myself.”

Eric: It’s the same reason he forgets to take his potion, right? Contrivances of the plot.

Laura: Well, he’s also ashamed, right? I think he later goes on to say that the reason he never confided in Dumbledore about any of this is because he was ashamed of taking advantage of Dumbledore’s trust, and he didn’t want to reveal himself as someone who had done something like that to someone who did so much for him.

Eric: Yeah. And just as a note, there’s this line in the chapter about… Lupin says, “The map never lies.” I think that makes it into the movie because now I’m hearing it David Thewlis’s voice. But essentially, the map can see through the Invisibility Cloak, and that’s how this whole thing got started. But if the map can see through the Invisibility Cloak, and Moody’s eye can see through the Invisibility Cloak – we find that out next book – then I think we have to finally divorce ourselves from “The Tale of the Three Brothers” magical Cloakness of Death himself not being able to see through it and find the brother because it’s flawed. Everyone but Lupin can see through this Cloak.

[Jason laughs]

Micah: I’m trying to I’m trying to remember. I think Gary Oldman actually says it, “The map never lies.”

Eric: He’s so committed to it, and it’s like, “Why? You haven’t explained any of this.” Just an interesting odd and end. And if we go to connecting the threads real quickly, we actually hear the Snape prank/werewolf trick be explained a little bit. This is the moment that Dumbledore chose to tell Harry at the end of Book 1, the question about why Snape isn’t a bad guy. Dumbledore says that Snape was protecting him because his father saved Snape’s life. So we hear it from a different angle in this chapter. It’s very satisfying, really pisses Snape off to the point where he reveals himself. But it’s just so interesting that, just like McGonagall showing up as an Animagus in Chapter 1, all these ties to Book 1 and the very beginning. The DNA has been in the series since the beginning.

Micah: One other thing I just wanted to call out is we spend a lot of time talking about everybody except Peter Pettigrew, but Peter is really the key for them to be able to get through the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack because he is small enough to go and touch that knot that we see Crookshanks on earlier in this book. It’s very appropriate, though, as well, that he transforms into a rat because that is exactly what he is.

Eric: Yes, he is. Yes, he is a rat. Yeah, you could do it with a stick, but it’s much easier just to have Peter there. That concludes our discussion of the second shortest chapter in all the Harry Potter books.


MVP of the Week


Eric: It’s time for MVP of the week.

[MVP of the Week music plays]

Andrew: I’m going to give it to Dumbledore for creating the sneaky snack. The sneaky shack.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: Okay, that’s the title.

Andrew: You know he’s had a sneaky snack or two as well. Maybe Dumbledore’s delights. But yeah, shout-out to Dumbledore. I’ve got to protect my boy since he was attacked twice this episode.

Jason: Sneaky snack for the Dumble-drama.

Eric: There we go.

Andrew: That could be the title.

Eric: I’m going to give mine to Snape for successfully getting into the shack despite all these people knowing what the cloak is.

Laura: I’m going to give it to the superstition. Honestly, if it weren’t for the superstition, whether it was a natural social phenomenon or whether Dumbledore planted false memories in people’s minds, the superstition is what kept the facade of the Shrieking Shack being haunted alive and kept Lupin safe.

Micah: Nice. I have to stick true to one of my Quizzitch names, “If the shack is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’,” so I have to give it to the shack itself for doing its job and taking a beating at the hands of werewolf Lupin.

Jason: And then I am giving mine to the Marauders for becoming Animagi.

Andrew: Sneaky snack. Animagi.

Jason: They went through that whole crazy 27,000-step process, and that’s pretty impressive.

[MVP of the Week music ends]

Andrew: All right, well, if you the listener have any feedback about today’s episode or the chapters ahead, you can send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com, or you can use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. To send a voice message, just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file, or use our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE, that’s 1-920-368-4453. And next week, we’ll discuss Chapter 19 of Prisoner of Azkaban, “The Servant of Lord Voldemort.”


Quizzitch


Andrew: And now it’s time for some Quizzitch.

[Quizzitch music plays]

Eric: Last week’s question, who did Snape see Lupin traveling with on the grounds of Hogwarts toward the Whomping Willow in the 1970s? Key part there: 1970s. And the correct answer was Madame Pomfrey, or Poppy Pomfrey. Correct answers were submitted to us by Loony, Mocktail, Crew cut, and Thongs; Laura Master of the Universe; Luke H. the 11-year-old; Raise the Dumby lie count; Snape’s one big chance for fame and glory beautiful glory all mine all mine; Snoopy 199; Spoo-getti; The only canon I remember is from All the Young Dudes; Wolfstar sitting in a Whomping Willow tree; Your local Irish leprechaun; Rubblier plank; Elizabeth K. Bob; and Definitely not Micah. Okay, I trust it. Next week’s Quizzitch question: Who casts Expelliarmus against Snape in the Shrieking Shack? Submit your answer to us over on the MuggleCast website, MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch, or click on Quizzitch from the main nav bar on MuggleCast.com.

[Quizzitch music ends]


Outro


Andrew: Don’t forget, we would love your support on Patreon. Now if you’re a Spotify user and you support us on Patreon, you can get our Patreon audio benefits right within Spotify, which is really nice. If you’re a Spotify user and you don’t support us on Patreon, tap that banner on the MuggleCast page within Spotify and you’ll be able to pledge and get these audio benefits. We do two bonus MuggleCast installments per month. We’ve got the MuggleCast Collector’s Club. I think maybe next week – if not next week, definitely the week after – we will reveal this year’s wave of stickers that everybody in the Collector’s Club will be getting. And of course, beanies will be going out, too, to our Slug Club patrons in another month or so, I think. Maybe a month or two? Definitely they’ll be ready for you for fall.

Jason: Yay, I can’t wait.

Andrew: Yeah! Being in Salt Lake, Jason. And Jason, thanks so much for coming on the show today.

Jason: Absolutely, this was super fun.

Andrew: It was great having you on. Thank you so much for all your contributions, and thanks for your support on Patreon. That’s another perk at the Slug Club level, you can get in the queue to co-host MuggleCast one day. A couple other reminders: If you’re an Apple Podcast user and you don’t support us on Patreon, for just $2.99 a month, you can receive ad-free and early access to MuggleCast right within the Apple Podcast app. Patreon does offer more benefits, but if you’d prefer to support us right within Apple Podcast, we totally get it. You can do it right there. There is a free trial available as well, just like there is on Patreon. And if you enjoy the show and think other Muggles would too, tell a friend about MuggleCast. We’d also appreciate if you left us a review on your favorite podcast app. And last but not least, don’t forget to follow us on social media. We are @MuggleCast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and Threads, and there’s a lot of great coverage led by Chloé on on the social media channels from LeakyCon, so be sure to check that out.

Micah: I was going to say a special shout-out to Chloé for all the great coverage that she had at LeakyCon, as well as jumping on the MuggleCast Live that we did on Saturday, which we will be releasing over Labor Day weekend.

Eric: Can I tell how much she crushed us on Making the Connection when we did that? There were some crazy connections given to us.

Andrew: Thanks, everybody, for listening. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: I’m Laura.

Jason: And I’m Jason.

Andrew: Thanks again, Jason. Bye, everybody.

Everyone: Bye!

[Show music plays]


Bloopers


Micah: Well, another thing that came to mind, though, too, with this being such a short chapter is just… I don’t know. I totally lost my train of thought, so you can scrap that.

Andrew: That is a very good point, Micah. I agree.

Laura: Well said.

Andrew: Let’s clip that for social.

Micah: Yeah, bloopers. We do bloopers, right?

[Andrew laughs]

Transcript #606

 

MuggleCast 606 Transcript

 

Transcript for MuggleCast Episode #606, A Harry Potter TV Reboot is Coming!? We React and Pitch Opportunities


[“Max That” sound effect plays]


Show Intro


[Show music plays]

Andrew Sims: Welcome to MuggleCast, your weekly ride into the wizarding world fandom. I’m Andrew.

Eric Scull: I’m Eric.

Micah Tannenbaum: I’m Micah.

Laura Tee: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: And we’re going to be talking about the big, big news today. And clearly, it sets us up for a long future with you, the listener. And speaking of you, are you new to the show? Make sure you’re following the podcast for free in your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. And if you are new to the show, here’s what you need to know about us: We’re your Harry Potter friends. It’s just that simple. So gang, we’ve been friends for a really long time. I’m not sure we ever imagined seeing this day. [laughs]

Laura: 18 years later.

Micah: Certainly not this soon.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Right. The big news, if you haven’t heard by now, is that Warner Bros. is reportedly working on a deal for a television reboot of the original seven Harry Potter books. The news was initially reported by Bloomberg on Monday, April 3, and it was quickly backed up by Variety and Deadline, so three very reputable Hollywood trade sources. There seems to be agreement between the publications that they’re aiming to give each book one season of television. According to Deadline, J.K. Rowling will be a producer, but not the showrunner. Bloomberg added that under the deal, Rowling would maintain a degree of creative involvement with the series, though she would not serve as primary creator. Deadline added that the importance of the Harry Potter brand has only grown after Warner Media and Discovery merged last year, and Deadline says they’ll look for a writer after a deal with J.K. Rowling’s team closes. So those are some of the basics.

Micah: It’s clear now what David Zaslav went to talk to J.K. Rowling about not that long ago, right?

Andrew: Yeah, there was a report about that. And I think I read in one of these reports, they’ve spoken together multiple times now.

Eric: Yeah. And like you’re saying, Andrew, this has been a rumor in the past that seems to finally be gaining the traction. But in anticipation of this day coming, we actually have more than one MuggleCast episode devoted previously to the idea of a Harry Potter TV series, both an episode where we gave our dream casting… although that was about 120 episodes ago on 483, so all of our youngins probably have grown up since then; we need to recast with even younger actors, I’m sure.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: And then, of course, we pitched just a whole variety of TV show premises that we wanted to do if they weren’t going to reboot the books, which seems to be what they’re doing. And that was Episode 566.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, yeah. And it’s possible there will be an official announcement during an event that HBO and WB are holding on April 12, but that’s not confirmed yet. There will be an event. Will the deal be closed by then? I feel like it’s a little too soon for that, but maybe some of this reporting isn’t entirely accurate and there will be an announcement on April 12. And we are currently recording, by the way, on Thursday, April 6.

Eric: Man, a midweek recording. This was like a “Drop everything and get online.” This was like when the Robert Galbraith news came out. This is like the…

Micah: Well, hold on.

Andrew: Wait, we’re going pretend this was spur of the moment? [laughs]

Micah: No, no. Well, I was going to say, Andrew and I did drop everything and get online to do an Instagram Live with Chloé, our Social Media Manager, which was a lot of fun.

Eric: Oh, right.

Micah: Coincidentally, this midweek recording was already planned.

[Eric laughs]

Micah: So Andrew, did you know this was coming down the line?

Andrew: Well, I knew that if we played that “Max that” sound effect enough times during Chapter by Chapter, we would will this into existence. Little did we know that “Max that” would actually be every little thing in the Harry Potter books. [laughs]

Laura: We manifested.

Eric: Wait, Andrew, are we recording on Thursday because by Saturday you’re going to be in LA there to announce this – or on the 12th – to announce this with Warner Bros.?

Andrew: I was planning on joking that if I’m not here next week, it’s because I’m trying to be appointed showrunner, because, you know, maybe I won’t be here next week.

Eric: Oh. You would have my support.

Micah: That’s why you’re coming to New York.

Andrew: Right, sure. All these theories? True. Every single one.

Micah: Nothing to do with Bruce. It has everything to do with Warner Bros.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: But I’m curious to get Eric and Laura’s initial thoughts here. Andrew, I mentioned you and I did the IG Live, but I want to know what Eric and Laura think.

Laura: Yeah, I think this is a massive opportunity to bring the wizarding world, specifically the Harry Potter story, into 2023 and make it resonate with audiences, both old audiences and new ones. I also think there is a ton of potential here to expand on the wizarding world through Harry Potter. What we talked about in our original “Max that” episode discussion were some areas where the story could be further fleshed out: thinking about having an entire episode dedicated to the lost day that fans have wanted to know about for at least 20 years at this point, going further into the lore behind Azkaban, learning more about St. Mungo’s… there’s just a ton of opportunity here to flesh this world out further, a ton of opportunity to make the Harry Potter story more diverse and representative of the world that we live in. And a great opportunity to find some new, unknown young actors to bring the trio to life once again. I’m excited.

Eric: I like what you said there, Laura, at the end there about giving an opportunity to find a young trio, because what I go back to in thinking about this and turning it over in my head is the Stranger Things cast, who were relative unknowns at the time that they were cast on Netflix’s big hit show. They have yet to release the final season of that show, but they’re household names, some of them are household names, and certainly the show has done extremely well the world over and become very popular. And so I think, much like Dan, Rupert, and Emma and all of the cast that have seen some success and really got their footing on the Harry Potter films, grown up to become very activist, very political minded, very equality-based young adults, I want to see more of that good nature and good vibe from a TV show that’s going to be as watched as this one.

Andrew: I’m very excited, too. I’m still kind of in shock that this is actually happening. I’m kind of surprised, and it’s also sad to an extent that they’re already defaulting back to rebooting the original books. They tried with Fantastic Beasts; it didn’t work out. They apparently have no other ideas that they’re feeling confident in, so they’re just reverting back to what in some ways is the easiest idea. It will not be easy to create this, but it’s the easiest idea. Am I mad about that? Not really, because this is what I think many of us have wanted: a television adaptation of the books, because the movies left so much out, and understandably so. So I’m just very excited to think about the potential here. To another extent, it’s stressing me out because now it’s like, “Okay, here it is. Here’s what we’ve been waiting for. Oh my goodness, please do not screw this up, Warner Bros. Get this right, and expand in ways we’ve never seen before,” to Laura’s point about, I think you mentioned, like, St. Mungo’s. We have some feedback. So many people have brought up the Marauders to us; “Why aren’t they doing a Marauder series?” Well, unfortunately, they’re not. I mean, that one seems like such an obvious one. But what about in the Prisoner of Azkaban television season, they spend a whole episode going back in time to give us the story of the Marauders? This is what I’m hoping for, spending a standalone episode just exploring different stories that we wanted that don’t exactly fit into the HP timeline.

Laura: That’s where my head is at too.

Eric: That was the craziest thing that you said, Laura, that I got giddy about, because if they do decide to do the missing day, they have to start with that, more or less. That’s the beginning of our story. It’s not the dull gray Tuesday on which our story starts. It’s the Monday prior.

Andrew: [laughs] The Monday prior.

Eric: It’s Dumbledore doing his whole, “All right, we’ve got to prep a street, we’ve got to get it all safe…”

Micah: But I think you can do that now, though, because the story is already out there. There’s nothing more that you really need to find. It is the lost day, but my point is you could really begin the story with James and Lily being murdered by Voldemort, maybe even what went into his decision-making in choosing the Potters versus choosing the Longbottoms. Again, because the story is already out there. It’s not like we’re waiting for another book to drop so that we can get that full plot; pieces were missing as we worked our way through the last couple of books. But what I find fascinating about all of this is with the first series, there was so much pressure that was placed on Dan, Emma, Rupert, David Heyman, all of the directors. Now I feel like there’s even more pressure that is going to be on the shoulders of whoever takes the place of Dan, Emma, Rupert, and whoever is at the helm of this production because, Andrew, to your point, there haven’t been many successful endeavors on the part of Warner Bros. since Deathly Hallows – Part 2 came out in July of 2011. You can look at the Fantastic Beasts series. You can also look, putting Warner Bros. aside, at Cursed Child, right? The narrative that has been written about that, the narrative that was written for Fantastic Beasts, it has not been well received overall. So it is kind of sad in a way that we’re already going back to that source material and rebooting the entire series. I agree there has to be the expansion element of it that Laura initially touched on. I think the one key word that you kept repeating, Laura, too, is “opportunity.” There’s a ton of opportunity here, but it needs to be done the right way.

Laura: Yeah, that opportunity comes with a big if. Right?

Andrew: [laughs] Right.

Eric: And what is that big if? Because I know what mine would be, but what is yours?

Laura: Well, I think there are several. One is if it’s not an attempt to rehash ground that the movies already covered, if there isn’t an attempt to expand the story, make it a little deeper, make it its own thing compared to the movies, compared to even the books, right? Because there is a ton to do creatively with these stories. I think maybe some would see it as a risk to do some of those things, but if there isn’t a risk, if they try to play it too safe and say, “We’re just going to regurgitate the same story we’ve already told before, just in a TV format,” I think it’ll fall flat. So they need to be brave.

Eric: Well, what I’m hearing here is, too, bring on a variety of writers.

Laura: Yep. 100%.

Eric: Finally let other people… this is how TV works. You have a team of writers, traditionally, with serialized storytelling of this high caliber. And J.K. Rowling’s credential as a writer of live action adaptation has been questioned and tested; the final Fantastic Beasts film, they brought in the screenwriter of the films, Steve Kloves, to assist with that. She’s not going to find herself having the time to rewrite what’s already been written. There will be, hopefully, a team of people with modern television sensibilities in mind in every sense, that is meant to really make it a hit show for this era. To your point, Micah, where you said, “Is it too soon?” Yes, the last film came out in 2011 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was it? But I remember going to see the first movie in 2001. That was 22 years ago. So whether or not it feels too soon to me is maybe leaning toward not, because it’s been over 20 years since that first one. And realistically – not to steal our thunder from later – but how soon do we think a TV show could even air at this point if we’re just getting wind of it now, Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah, Eric, I wanted to bring up these same exact points. Yes, Deathly Hallows – Part 2 just came out ten years ago, but when did the first movie come out? Like you said, November 2001. It’s been a really long time since that first one. And when will we get Deathly Hallows the TV show? November 2033. [laughs] Maybe, maybe. But yeah, let’s say the deal is signed tomorrow. When will we actually see this on television? Two years? You have to also remember this is special effects-heavy. This isn’t some straightforward half hour sitcom.

Micah: I think some of the challenge, though, lies in the fact that a lot of times when you do build upon the success of a series, you’re continuing the story, and a lot of the actors that were in that initial story are then brought back to be a part of that continuation. And we haven’t even tried that, really, in Harry Potter. We’re already jumping back to the source material from the standpoint of a book to TV series adaptation. That feels very quick to me, versus trying something that maybe goes beyond Harry’s time at Hogwarts. We tried Fantastic Beasts;it didn’t work, but I think people love the original material. Why not try that? I think they’re going back to what they feel is safe.

Eric: Well, if we also look over the last 20 years, the evolution of television as a storytelling medium…

Micah: Sure.

Eric: … that’s where you go, more than movies. And this was true even as early as the early aughts, right, that long storytelling really couldn’t cut it in theaters. That’s why there’s the extended editions of Lord of the Rings. There’s so much story there that’s just not going to fit into a theatrical release. And so television has been, for some time now, the way to tell the type of story that’s as complex as the Harry Potter books. So this could also be seen from one perspective as being the format that it was always going to be best for. And that’s an idea that excites me, particularly around the later films that I don’t have as much love for, or I’ll say nostalgia for. This series has the potential, just by being on TV, to do those stories, I think, adaptive justice.

Laura: I agree with that. I think the Potter series is going to be better served via a TV show format, but I also think it’s a point well taken that Micah brings up about the safe choice. And I would just observe, in relation to the landscape right now of TV and of the Discovery and Time Warner merger, it does seem like it makes a lot of sense for them to look at IPs that they know are safe options and are pretty much guaranteed to be some kind of success, right? Obviously, we all think there are things that they can do with this series to really level it up and make it something special, but I think bare minimum, because it’s Harry Potter, it’s one of their most recognizable IPs, they will see some level of success with it. And I think that’s what they’re thinking.

Micah: You know what I think? I think they saw the fact that we went back and restarted Chapter by Chapter and they were like, “We’ve got to do this too.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: We inspired them.

Eric: “We have to follow those guys.”

Andrew: “Look how deep these books are!”

Laura: “We’re going to do Episode by Episode.” [laughs]

Micah: Yeah. I totally agree with what you’re saying, though, Eric, about how the landscape has changed. And the truth of it is Warner Bros. needs to get in the game as it relates to Harry Potter. They’re missing out on a ton of money, and that’s another huge component of this, if we’re just being real here, that this is something that could really boost whatever their streaming service ends up being called in significant numbers.

Andrew: Yeah, there’s reports they’re going to rename HBO Max to Max, which is just silly. I mean, people love the HBO brand. I don’t know why you would want to get rid of that in your app’s title when you’re competing with, say, Disney Plus.

Laura: Are we going to have to change our “Max that” sound effect once this happens?

Andrew: No, I mean, it foretold the future. Max. Apparently it’s just going to be called Max.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: No, but we will have to change our name to MaxCast, though.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: That’s got to happen at some point.

Laura: Right. MaxCast Plus.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Couple of things I want to bring up: To the point about the IPs and using what’s familiar to people, this news came the same week as Disney announced that they are rebooting Moana in a live action film. That movie came out in 2016, and they’re already redoing that one live action. Not a sequel. Live action remake. That’s especially ridiculous. And the point about the lost day from a few minutes ago, I would love if the first episode of the first season began with things we hadn’t seen before, because that would be the message to viewers and fans, “We’re giving you something new here. You haven’t seen this before, and this is why you’re going to love to watch this, because we’re adding to the world.” If they opened with something unfamiliar and took the risks that we’re talking about, that’d be perfect, and that’d be such an awesome message to send. But it also is kind of safe to do that, because like I think maybe Micah, you were saying before: The Harry Potter movies, we all know the story, thanks to having seen the Harry Potter movies and read the books, so we don’t need the same introduction. We can get more. We can back up in the timeline a little bit.

Laura: Agreed.

Andrew: So I think that’s a wonderful opportunity for them. Will they take that risk? I don’t know. It seems a little ballsy, given how much money they’re probably going to invest in this.

Laura: Be ballsy, Warner Bros.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Laura: Be ballsy. Look at all of the shows in recent history that have seen high levels of success. It’s not because they were too scared to step outside the lines a little bit, have fun with it, be creative with it. That’s really what people are looking for.

Eric: Didn’t Amazon spend millions on the Lord of the Rings series? So that’s actually already had its TV adaptation there.

Andrew: But actually, that’s a good show to look at, because there was a report that came out, I believe earlier this week, that only 37% of audiences made it through the entire show. [laughs]

Eric: Oof.

Andrew: 37%!

Laura: I didn’t watch that one. But I don’t think that was actually about the Lord of the Rings trilogy; wasn’t it a prequel situation?

Andrew: It wasn’t a reboot, no.

Eric: It wasn’t a reboot. Yeah, it was additional.

Micah: I think you also have to keep in mind the fanbase, as well. I’m not sure it’s as massive as something as Harry Potter. And especially for those of us who have grown up with the series, I think it’s going to be something that we’re definitely going to dive into.

Andrew: But I guess my point is that by not using a familiar story, they could have – maybe they couldn’t have – but if they rebooted The Lord of the Rings, the trilogy, they would have had a lot more people watching all the way through. But people tune into this Amazon series; even though it’s the same fandom, it’s unfamiliar to them, so only 37% of them made it through. That’s a risk they would run with Harry Potter, too, if it was, let’s say, Fantastic Beasts. That’s what we saw happen.

Micah: Yeah. And somebody alluded to this earlier, but I think you have to study what has worked. I think Laura brought this up, right? Look at what Star Wars has done, because clearly they’ve had massive success. I’m sure they’ve had series that haven’t done as well, but they clearly have the recipe to at least take a little bit of a look at that and see what works for you, what doesn’t work for you. One of the other things, though, that came up when we did our IG Live, though, is when you go back to talking about how we’re not that far removed from the original series, you’re talking about some iconic roles, right? When you think about Alan Rickman as Snape, when you think about Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid… we’ve obviously unfortunately lost both of those individuals over the last several years. And even Dan, Emma, and Rupert, right? They really embodied Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and I’m sure we could get into a whole debate as to whether or not they embodied it for everybody, but that’s part of where I think it’s too soon. And do you connect back in any way to those actors? Do any of those actors show up in some way in this reboot? Or is that not possible? And then, of course, you’re talking about seven seasons, let’s just say, and will you get the consistency that the Harry Potter series got for eight movies, with the exception of Richard Harris being replaced by Michael Gambon? That’s tough commitment, even as we saw with the Fantastic Beasts series. So there’s a lot of questions. As much as there is excitement, there’s a lot of questions, and I won’t say skepticism, but there’s some hesitancy, at least, from my standpoint.

Laura: I get it.

Andrew: That’s the one thing I feel skeptical about, too; it is going to be strange seeing other people play these roles, because we grew up with not only these characters, but these actors too. It was really emotional when we watched the live stream from the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 premiere, because these actors were saying goodbye to these characters and these iconic roles, so to have them replaced and see… especially the people who have passed – Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman – it’s going to be tough seeing new people. But is there a specific number on what is the right amount of time? No. Another 40 years could pass and some people would still say it’s too soon. So I’m hopeful that it’s going to be a situation where yes, it’ll be strange at first. We get those early episodes, Hagrid dropping off Harry at the Dursleys’ doorstep, and it’s going to be like, “Oh, this isn’t Robbie,” but by the third or fourth episode, assuming all the actors are fantastic, I think it’ll be okay. And I won’t say we’ll forget about them, but we’ll be able to accept that new people are playing these roles.

Laura: I think we keep touching on this, but what I’m hearing is that this show really is going to need to differentiate itself from the movies so that viewers aren’t left feeling that way, or aren’t left wishing that they were looking at the actors that they recognized in those roles. If the show follows the beat of the movies too closely, I think we’re constantly going to be reminded of the movies. The show, very quickly, from the jump needs to take us out of that mindset, or else that’s the risk.

Eric: So it’ll just still be an adaptation of the first book, but from either varying perspectives, or something that just feels totally different.

Micah: I think one way to do that is to make sure that the cast is diversified.

Eric: Yep.

Andrew and Laura:: Mhmm.

Micah: Because let’s face it, it wasn’t in the initial series.

Laura: No.

Eric: The books aren’t.

Micah: Yeah, but this goes to Laura’s point about opportunity.

Eric: That’s what I’m saying.

Micah: We saw them attempt it to some extent with the Fantastic Beasts franchise, but I feel like now they have even more opportunity here, if you’re talking about something that’s going to be seven seasons long.

Andrew: Yeah, not to mention Cursed Child. And of course, Hogwarts Legacy, as we brought up in our review. It’s a very diverse game. And I think they are trying to right some of the wrongs of the original books and movies, so yeah, that’d better continue. If it doesn’t, that would be…

Laura: I’m sure it will.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] It seems impossible.

Micah: Along the same lines, do you think that they will cast only British actors, as they did with the first film series?

Eric: Oh, can we finally get Haley Joel Osment in a Harry Potter show?

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Just let him play Harry Potter. Present day.

Andrew: Look, as long as the accent is good, I don’t really care who’s playing the role. [laughs]

Micah: But that was something that was very important to the author, initially, when it was being adapted by David Heyman and Chris Columbus.

Andrew: It was.

Eric: And I would say that’s understandable for sure. It kept those films pure, it kept those films British in a key way. But I don’t know that you necessarily need that protection now, just because of how it’s different and changed since then. So the people making the movies didn’t have as much of an eye for why that sort of thing is important then. I think they do now.

Micah: Well, and I think that also gives you the opportunity to open up the world, if you’re not going to be so strict about making sure that you have British speaking actors in all of these roles. You can take one of the characters that’s well known and make them from a completely different part of the world, and they’re just there as a exchange student for the seven years that Harry Potter is at Hogwarts.

Andrew: All right, let’s take a little break. There’s still plenty more to discuss today; we have more of our own questions, and then we’ll get some feedback from listeners. So I thought we should also talk about who we want involved. We’ve mentioned cast members before; I think maybe somebody mentioned David Heyman too. We were talking on the Instagram Live a few days ago, and by the way, you can watch that on Instagram Live on Instagram still. Stuart Craig, the production designer, he’s done amazing work, but the dude is 80. Does he want to commit to this for ten years at 80?

Eric: Let’s get John Williams to score the first season.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Micah: Yeah. He’s what, 92?

Andrew: I’ve seen some people say “Don’t touch ‘Hedwig’s Theme.’ Don’t use it.”

Eric: Oh. I love that as a take, but they’ll never not use it. They used it in Fantastic Beasts.

Andrew: That’s synonymous with Harry Potter.

Laura: They used it in the game, too, but they did change it up a little bit to make it unique in the game. I think they could do something like that for the show. I love the idea of getting some alumni on board when it comes to cast, crew, showrunners, things like that, but I would also like to see some new blood in here. In particular, from a showrunner perspective, I would love to see Craig Mazin do it. He has done…

Andrew: And who’s that?

Laura: He’s the showrunner for The Last of Us, also Chernobyl on HBO, but he has proven to be a really amazing showrunner. And I think that if paired with the right team for this project, he would nail it.

Andrew: There’s also that pre-existing HBO angle with The Last of Us being on HBO and this presumably going to HBO.

Eric: Oh, right.

Laura: Yep, that’s what I’m thinking. The cogs are turning. [laughs]

Eric: Well, if The Last of Us had not been renewed, which it has been, for a Season… they’ve announced Season 2, but it’s also been said very publicly that Season 2 won’t fit the entire second video game, so we’re looking at a few more years for Craig Mazin’s availability in particular. He’s also good at telling a very particular type of story, which has the weight of human choice and sacrifice and more drama than I would expect the early Harry Potter books to be; not saying he couldn’t switch gears, but you wouldn’t ultimately be looking in his wheelhouse necessarily. You’d be looking for another Chris Columbus; you’d be looking for somebody who is good with children, who can literally lasso them if needed, but get the performance out of them. That is absolutely key. I’d be looking to whoever was doing – was it the Duffer Brothers for Stranger Things?

Andrew: Oh, yeah.

Eric: Who was working with them? Who were those early directors that were working with the children on set? And what are they up to now? Because they would be more… yeah.

Micah: It’s a great point.

Andrew: That show is wrapping up, but I think they’ve already announced a spinoff. At least, they might be working on one, so they might be out, unfortunately.

Laura: Yeah, I think Netflix…

Eric: Is it called “Justice for Barb”?

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Laura: There will never be justice for Barb. Yeah, I was going to say, I think Netflix probably has an ironclad grip on the Duffer Brothers.

Andrew and Eric:: Yeah.

Micah: Most of the people that come to mind are probably folks that would serve better in the later books as opposed to the earlier ones. I was thinking of even Guillermo del Toro, after having watched Pinocchio. I know that that’s not a real child, but his adaptation was fantastic.

Eric: Wait, what? It’s not a real boy?

Andrew: [laughs] “I’m a real boy!”

Micah: I’m thinking of some of the darker storylines that come up later on in the series.

Laura: Sure.

Micah: And then Miguel Sapochnik, who did a number of the Game of Thrones marquee episodes, would be great, and there’s another HBO tie-in. So I would imagine there are going to be people chomping at the bit to jump into this.

Laura: I agree.

Eric: Here are my must-haves for a Harry Potter TV series. Number one – nonnegotiable – the color yellow.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, Hufflepuff.

Eric: We have not seen it in a… no, this isn’t a Hufflepuff thing, man.

Andrew: Oh, it’s not? Oh.

Eric: No, bright colors have not been a thing in the Harry Potter visual narrative tapestry or wizarding world since 2007 or 2006, and that’s being generous. This is why I’m hesitant to recommend David Heyman, David Yates… do they just make these color-drained films that don’t look like anything?

Micah: Didn’t he work on Paddington?

Andrew: Heyman did.

Eric: Still a very blue movie.

Micah: And Winnie the Pooh? Anyway.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I mean, look, I’m obviously saying this in jest a little bit, but they need to re-light… they need to completely, from the ground up, rebuild how you light the wizarding world. I don’t care if they use the same sets. Light them differently…

Micah: Light ’em up.

Eric: … because those films that are early are so cheerful, and it all has to do with the production on this thing. Get people who know how to light a set.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: Well, Eric, hopefully you’ll be happy; during the IG Live, we talked about how Harry’s eyes must be green in this adaptation.

Andrew: [laughs] I don’t know. I mean, that’s a tall order. “Sorry, we love this actor, but your eyes aren’t green.” I mean, I guess they can put in contacts, but again, seven years…

Micah: Well, didn’t it have to do with Dan not…? He had an issue with the contacts, right? That’s why he didn’t wear them, if I remember?

Laura: Yeah, they hurt his eyes.

Andrew: Okay. Yeah, so you’re going to make a kid deal with those for seven to ten years?

Eric: I’m going to go on record; I don’t care about the green eyes thing.

Micah: Well, you could probably at this point… special effects, you can just…

Andrew: Eric was giving his wish list.

Micah: I’m sorry, Eric.

Andrew: What else? Yellow?

Eric: Oh, yeah. So the color yellow. And yeah, more diversity. It’s just got to represent something closer to the real world. And actors… oh, this is the third, but the biggest. Marauders have to be the current age that means they were only in their very early 20s when Harry was born.

Andrew: Got it.

Eric: Because I genuinely in my brain cannot conceive of what that would look like, because we didn’t get it in the films, and I have no idea what it looks like. But I need it, because that will inform my canon.

Andrew: That’s fair. And let’s say they do a single episode in Season 3 dedicated to the Marauders. They could use that as a backdoor pilot to potentially launch a whole other separate series that is just Marauders-focused, and I think maybe they could use that standalone episode as a test balloon. How do people respond to this episode? Did it receive extra viewership numbers? I bet it would. I bet people who aren’t watching the series would dive into that; longterm Harry Potter fans, they would not be able to resist a standalone Marauders flashback episode. And that could potentially tell them, “Okay, we’ve got a great cast here with these Marauders. We came up with a great story. Let’s push this into a series of its own.” You think about… Eric and I love Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. They spun off Saul Goodman into his own series after the Breaking Bad show ended, and it turned out great. They tested it, it worked, they decided to turn it into a whole series. They can do something like that. I think Supernatural has explored this too. I don’t think there’s been any series that were really successful, but they tried backdoor pilots.

Micah: Do you think, then, that they felt the need to reestablish the series before doing these spinoffs? Meaning get the actors in the roles, right? So let’s say Season 3, Prisoner of Azkaban, you have your Marauders cast. Now, you can then spin off with the same actors and do a completely different series.

Andrew: Exactly.

Eric: That’s a good… yeah, you know what? I just had the most cynical but yet the most probably realistic thought, which is that the contracts, the types of contracts they’ll be writing for these actors are going to include a lot of their future plans of the Harry Potter global franchise development team or whatever. So you know how we managed to get Dan and Rupert and – well, not Emma – back for the theme park? The Hogwarts ride, the train ride? And Harry – Dan Radcliffe is on all the bags that you get from the gift shop there. That’s luck, because he didn’t have to do that. They obviously went back later and added those contracts. Whoever is involved in this TV show is going to be signing all sorts of stuff for spinoffs, especially if they’re playing a character that they identify as being potential for a spinoff. You’d better believe they’re signing their life away.

Micah: Eric, though, you made me think about something: There’s opportunity here for them to sit down with whoever is cast in these new roles. It can almost be like a mentor/mentee type of relationship, particularly for the younger actors. I could see that with Dan, and Emma, and Rupert – even Tom – sitting down with whoever gets cast in those roles. Because again, regardless of how good they may be, there’s going to be a ton of pressure on them from the start.

Andrew and Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It will be unfair, but that’s the state of the world and consuming media. I’ll just say…

Laura: Well, we won’t stand for it here on MuggleCast.

Andrew: Well, some criticism. ot hating on children or anything, but I mean, there’s going to be pressure to get this right.

Laura: Of course, of course. But I mean, as we’ve seen, especially with online bullying, criticism can very quickly bridge into being hateful, just being a jerk. And we won’t stand for that here.

Andrew: No, no, no. I will say, I’ll be a little mean for a moment. I don’t want David Yates near this. He did seven movies; that’s enough. We don’t need that. David Heyman, yes. David Yates, no. No?

Laura: [laughs] What, you don’t want another 3D battle?

Andrew: No, I’m just saying, he got…

Eric: That’s not David Yates. You can’t pin that on him.

Andrew: That was a studio thing, probably. No, it’s just, he had his time. We were talking about we want a fresh take, right? David Yates is not going to give us a fresh take on Harry Potter.

Laura: No.

Eric: Right.

Andrew: I agree there should be some legacy people like Heyman, the producer, to carry over the spirit. But in terms of casting and the storylines and all that, I don’t want Yates involved.

Micah: I think you could be… I know you joked earlier about Stuart Craig, but MinaLima are still around, and they would be great, I think, to bring back. They love the series.

Eric: Although, that for me might make it too close to the movies for me. If you think about it, you really…

Micah: Well, you’ve got to imagine they’re going to reuse some things, though, right? They have Leavesden Studios at their disposal.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Yeah, no, no. Well, and that’s the thing that leads me to believe this actually will be similar. I joked earlier about them using the same sets, and they probably likely won’t do that, but at the same time, why would they not with certain things? And the MinaLima thing, though, to me is like, so much of the Harry Potter movies is MinaLima that if they do it for the TV show, it might be jarring for me. It might be too much for me.

Andrew: And I think the showrunner has to be a real fan of Harry Potter.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: A true, genuine fan. We’ve commented that Hogwarts Legacy seems like it was created by true fans. If we can get some of that energy coming over to the TV show, I think we’ll be in pretty good shape. It would be frightening if we found out that the person who’s running the show or even writing it is not a pre-existing Harry Potter fan. That seems like bad news. [laughs]

Micah: No, we played that game already.

Andrew: What we’re going to do is when they name the showrunner and the writers, we’re going to go into the MuggleCast email archive, which dates back to 2005, and we’d better find this person’s name in our email inbox to prove they’re a real fan. [laughs]

Eric: So basically, if we have an email from them, they’re okay by us. They passed our litmus test.

Andrew: [laughs] Right.

Laura: I like how we’re gatekeeping who is going to be able to serve as the showrunner.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Hey, look, I feel like we’ve really resisted that for a very long time; now it’s time to start giving into it.

Micah: Yeah, if anybody has a say, we do.

Eric: Oh, man.

Micah: But I will say, though, I think one of the things that could work in favor of this series is the fact that so many of the cast now that will be in this series could have grown up reading Harry Potter, and I think that’s something that was possibly lacking in certain cases from the original cast. I think we have a pretty good sense of who read the books and who didn’t read the books. And so I think that could be interesting to see how that affects the cast of this TV series.

Andrew: Yeah. So should we get to some listener feedback?

Eric: We got a bunch of it.

Andrew: We did; thanks to everybody who participated on social media. I already mentioned, but I’ll briefly bring up again: We got tons of feedback asking for a Marauders series, or “Why not do a Marauders series at least before this?” So shout-out to everybody who’s been wanting Marauders. Who wants to take the first one? And by the way, some of this feedback is pretty negative. I was honestly a little surprised.

Micah: It’s Twitter, though.

Eric: Good. It’s all the things I want to say and am holding myself back to.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Micah: All right, I’ll go first.

Andrew: Okay.

Micah: Tom X says, “The only way I would be able to accept it is in animated form. The movies are only slightly a decade old. Makes no sense to repeat the same story when we’ve got so much to explore in the wizarding world (Marauders, Founders, Tom Riddle’s early years, First War, a proper sequel, perhaps?)”

Andrew: I think in order for this to make the biggest impact, it has to be live action. And that’s not a slight on animation; animation is a beautiful art form. But think of the prestigious Sunday night HBO television. That’s gritty live action dramas. [laughs] Not always gritty.

Eric: Oh my God, a gritty 11-year-old Harry Potter adaptation.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: No, you’re right, though. HBO has a reputation that it keeps time and again solidifying. But think about what animation would solve as far as what we’re talking about, actors aging out of the role or being hard to get. You wouldn’t need them all in the room at the same time; there’d be a lot more flexible schedule. Jenny Slate could play Hermione; it would be great. Just a variety of opportunities in the animated way. Worth consideration.

Micah: Yeah, the one thing I would just say that I think would hurt from an animation standpoint is the perception of the series, right? I generally think people associate animation with kids for the most part. I’m not saying that that’s right one way or the other, but to the point earlier about HBO on Sunday night, I don’t know how many people are going to turn into an animated series, right?

Andrew: Agreed.

Micah: You think about HBO Sunday night, you think about The Sopranos, you think about Game of Thrones. But I do agree it would solve a lot of problems. [laughs] Whether or not they do that is a totally different story.

Andrew: Well, and I’ll throw in a point I think Laura will appreciate: Disney Plus has this Marvel series called “What If…?” It’s an animated series, and in this show, it answers simply “What if,” you know, somebody else had Captain America’s shield? Or whatever other plot lines they want to explore. And they have the freedom to explore those alternate scenarios because it is animated. So I’d like to see something like that animated at some point.

Laura: And that would be a great spinoff idea. If they just want to rip off Marvel? Go for it. [laughs]

Andrew: They might be in our spinoff episode, in fact. One of the ideas that we pitched.

Laura: It is.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: “Harry Potter’s Time-Turner Adventures.”

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, that’d be cool!

Eric: If something went drastically wrong and we got this offshoot of the timeline. Everyone’s doing a multiverse. Speaking of into the multiverse, Across the Spider-Verse now that’s happening, that’s an example of an animated film that I think transcends age quite well. But there just aren’t enough examples, to your point, Andrew, of really showing that that could be a way that they would realistically consider going for something as big as Harry Potter.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Well, I do think that there are probably a lot of fans of animated shows that would maybe disagree with us here. I don’t know why I keep coming back to this, but I keep thinking about Castlevania on Netflix. That was an animated portrayal of that story, obviously based on a video game, so it was adapting from a video game dynamic, but the show was still very adult, and not something that I would put on in front of children. So it is possible. I think it’s easier for them to walk the line if they do live action.

Micah: Yeah, I mean, look, there’s episodes of The Simpsons and Family Guy I wouldn’t put on in front of children. [laughs] But by rebooting the series, and you’re looking for mass appeal, I don’t know that animation is going to be the right way to go.

Andrew: Exactly.

Micah: I think some of the other recommendations that you had, where you’re doing that “What if” scenario, could be very cool. But I think they need to get their feet wet again and establish the series, and the only way that they do that is through live action.

Andrew: Right. When you think prestige TV, you think live action. And like you said, Micah, they want to do numbers, they’ve got to do live action to appeal to everybody. There’s definitely animated shows for adults. I love Bojack Horseman on Netflix; there’s plenty other examples there. And again, animation is an awesome, very special, meaningful, important art form. But just for this right now, it’s not the time. I’ll read the next one from Chad, and here’s a little more criticism: “Honestly,” Chad says, “except in various limited capacities, I’m just done with Harry Potter and anything JKR-affiliated. She has really killed any sort of joy or comfort I previously found in her writing because of her hateful rhetoric against trans people. Not saying I wouldn’t maybe eventually watch this, but right now I can’t dredge up even a fake level of excitement for the possibility of this existing.” End quote. And we’ve seen a lot of feedback like this.

Eric: Yeah, I think… this series was announced at the same time you said Deadline said J.K. Rowling would be a producer on this show, and obviously, I can’t see a world where this is adapted where that doesn’t be the case, although I would say, the involvement of a producer on any one particular show, some of them are legacy namedrop producers. But look, that being the only person who’s officially attached to this series, it’s hard to get excited for it. I’ll go there. I think that we have yet to see what kind of accommodations are made – not accommodations, but adjustments are made to also cope with the updated political climate of this era. And that’s going to be as big or bigger than whatever adjustments they’re making to transform or adapt this show, the books, into TV.

Micah: I think it’s near impossible to separate her from this type of a series. It’s her work and she’s still around, and it’s just not going to be something that I think she would probably feel comfortable with having been rebooted without having a say in how it turns out. So I think that’s something we’re going to have to grapple with, as we move forward in covering the TV series. And I had put this in the chat earlier, but I think it’s worth talking about, because it’s probably going to happen at some point: What is the reaction, whether we’re talking about within the community or from the author, when they do cast a trans actor in the series? Because I think it’s a very good possibility.

Laura: Right.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s a can’t-win situation for them. They’ll be applauded by some people, and others will be like, “You’re just doing that because of everything that’s gone down with J.K. Rowling.”

Eric: This is why it’s so important to get more writers on it. And honestly, we’ve said multiple times that the Fantastic Beasts series has failed. Do we even know why it’s failed? Because I kind of point to J.K. Rowling on that. She had this amazing opportunity in telling the stories. The first movie I would consider to be flawless, or one of the best of all wizarding world films that exist, and yet the story itself petered out. The movies stopped being interesting on a very, very core fundamental level. And so the gift for storytelling, the person that we need to revive this series for a new era, is everybody but J.K. Rowling, who has been in charge of the Fantastic Beasts films. We need tons more people writing in this space, and they need to be allowed to do what they need to do.

Andrew: And I think by using the Harry Potter books, by rebooting the Harry Potter books, they get a chance to depend less on her because she’s already created the whole mold, the whole overall story, all the beats that they need to hit. They need to hire a bunch of writers who are just going to jump from beat to beat and expand in a way that we didn’t see in the movies. So I think that’s probably another reason they’re attracted to this idea, because if they said right now, “We are launching another spinoff series,” or “We’re rebooting Harry Potter and it’s only going to be written by J.K. Rowling,” they would receive a lot more backlash than they probably will when they say, “Rowling will be an executive producer or a producer, but she won’t be writing or showrunning.” And they can, again, get away with that because they already have J.K. Rowling’s mold, the overall story that they’re just going to fit into.

Micah: Yeah, and I know we brought this up on the IG Live, too, but I think when we’re talking about Fantastic Beasts, this does spell the end of that franchise. Do we agree with that?

Andrew, Eric, and Laura:: Yeah.

Andrew: I think that’s probably safe to say. And I liked Movie 1 too. Movie 2 was just so bad. Movie 3, I thought, got it back together. That’s probably in part because – who was it? – Kloves got involved, so he probably resurrected it at WB’s request. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, but there was just no coming back from that second movie. unfortunately. The third movie could have tap danced and sang and I don’t…

Andrew: They did tap dance, didn’t they? Around those bugs?

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: That was a crab dance, Andrew. Very similar, I understand.

Andrew: Oh, a crab dance, sorry.

Laura: Yeah, they were crabs. Get it right.

Eric: Manticore dance.

Laura: Know the lore, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I just don’t think there was any coming back from that. And I agree, this is definitely a signal that WB is moving on from Fantastic Beasts.

Eric: Although, they could still cast Jude Law as Dumbledore.

Andrew: I’d be in favor of that. I think that’d be a fun crossover.

Eric: Because I think we touched on it on the show when it became clear that Movie 3’s box office was only just okay, that we were like, “Well, could they employ these actors to do a fundamentally different thing?” And Jude Law’s Dumbledore I think was more or less universally well-received.

Andrew, Laura, and Micah:: Yeah.

Laura: He would be great. He just wouldn’t be young hot Dumbledore anymore, but that’s okay.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: All right. This next one comes from MTSchefers, and they say, “Do we get to see Peeves now? Maybe all of the Weasley family will be included this time. Ron gets to keep his lines.” Yes.

Eric: Ha!

Laura: Plus one, thank you. “Hopefully we get to see the book version of Ginny.” There you go, Eric. And, “Important plot points won’t be cut out for timing and pacing.”

Eric: That’s right.

Laura: Everyone’s favorite, the pacing.

Andrew: Justice! Sweet justice!

[Laura laughs]

Eric: [imitates Vernon Dursley] “Justice.” I never, ever, ever want to hear the word “pacing” again. Give us the Peeves episode, the Peeves backstory episode.

Andrew: Well, look, I mean, they still have to be concerned about pacing, but hopefully more will be included. [laughs]

Eric: Well, yeah. No, you’re right, you’re right. Because here’s the other thing: HBO does not have a history of television series with very many episodes per season.

Andrew: I know.

Eric: I think they’ve explored the lowest possible episode count. And if HBO only had nine, yeah, maybe for the first film, sure, or the first book, but for the later books, you’re still going to brush up against a lot of hard choices to make.

Andrew: Yeah, and I mean, I could foresee a scenario where Season 1, Sorcerer’s Stone, is just six, seven episodes. And then as the books get longer, the seasons get longer, too, and maybe by…

Eric: Split into two for any season.

Andrew: Yeah, absolutely. By 5 or 6, split it into separate seasons. I just wonder – obviously, they’re going to have to cast children who will be quickly growing – will they just shoot Seasons 1 and 2 right up front, back to back, before the kids get too old? There’s going to have to be some serious considerations like that, I think.

Laura: They could always do a recast situation like what they’re doing with House of the Dragon. Also, The Crown over on Netflix, they recast every couple of seasons.

Andrew: Yeah. I wouldn’t hate that. I think we have a little bit of feedback like that.

Eric: This comment comes from Evenlynda: “Honestly, I would have loved new stories. Even something set in this time. It would have been great if we had a show that propelled the series forward. Maybe bring in other creators who are more inclusive than J.K.” That’s a fair point. What are wizards doing in the…? What did they do about Y2K? We don’t know, because the books end in 1997, right?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: So what do the wizards do? Yeah, where have the wizards been? Where has the wizarding world, that we’ve heard so much about and lived in for so long, where has that been in the last 25+ years, or 30, maybe, by the time this series gets its footing? So that’s a fair point, that this is not moving the story forward. I agree with what we said on this show; it’s been safe to make this kind of a decision. But ultimately, there is that open question of what happens really after Harry Potter? And don’t tell me Cursed Child.

Andrew: [laughs] Well, it could move the story forward once we get to Season 8, 9, or 10. Let’s say this show is a smashing success; it’s beyond our wildest dreams. HBO is not going to want to walk away from it. They’ll do as many seasons as they think they could keep the momentum up with.

Eric: Ahh. This could be the next Grey’s Anatomy.

Andrew: Yeah, which is not necessarily a good thing. [laughs] Some people are very tired of the show at this point, but others continue to watch.

Eric: Or Supernatural.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, totally. This is a new baseline for them. If I’m being extremely optimistic about this, this is a new slate. They’re starting over. They’re in a way forgetting the movies, and they can use this to go beyond Book 7.

Micah: Totally.

Andrew: They can use it to give us the prequels. There’s lots of opportunities for them here outside of the basic series.

Micah: Yep, that’s the key word. Laura said it earlier. Yeah, it’s opportunity.

Andrew: This week’s episode is just titled “Opportunity.” [laughs]

Eric and Micah: Yeah.

Micah: Well, Andrew, you mentioned this earlier. DHFan: “Recast the trio every year like House of the Dragon. It’ll remove the time constraints per season and improve the quality of the show.”

Laura: Yeah. Thanks, DHFan.

Andrew: And Danielle said, taking our last bit of feedback that we’re reading from Twitter, “Too soon, too transparently a money grab (when they’re already out there canceling newer IP or canning finished films.)” They didn’t do that, but they definitely canceled Fantastic Beasts, or at least we think so. And Danielle says, “too tone deaf because it’s further lining the pockets of someone with outwardly harmful views.” Yeah, and we’ve addressed bits and pieces of this already. I will say, in this current streaming war era, yeah, it’s going to be a money grab, it’s going to be a subscriber grab, it’s going to be a “Grab Harry Potter fans somehow, because currently, we’re not grabbing them.”

Laura: All right, moving over to some feedback we got on Facebook. Jenny says, “I’m very excited! My friends and I have already said we’ll get together at each other’s houses to watch together every week. My only worry is that I will be comparing the new cast to the old cast. Many of the actors they chose for the movies walked straight out of the books for me, and I have a hard time imagining anyone else in the roles.” Yeah, I think that’ll be a common concern for folks.

Eric: Yeah. See, that to me is what I was saying about MinaLima, too; that’s straight out of the movies. [laughs] So this one comes from Nathan. They write in, “How do they make the TV show differ from the movies? While they have costumes and sets from Leavesden (some that can and should be reused), it needs to be a different feel. Also, do they keep the live all-British cast? They need to make the cast look differently than the movies. And, with costumes, can we get 1990s style, please?”

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: And for reference, I don’t remember what 1990s style was like. But fortunately, in our live Discord, somebody has posted. Kathleen has given us this amazing almost Beverly Hills 90210-esque 1990s version of the Harry PotterSaved by the Bell? Oh, that’s probably what this is actually from. I recognize Screech.

Andrew: A lot of denim, baggy clothing, frosted tips. We’ve got to do it all. Fully lean into the ’90s.

Eric: Absolutely.

Laura: God, it was so bad.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: But yes, they really… I mean, they should.

Andrew: They should? No. No, they should not.

Laura: No, I mean, not to the extent that we’re seeing in this picture. But I will say, when you watch the movies, they’re wearing what is clearly 2010s style clothes, and when you know what time period the story takes place in, it does kind of take you out of it. I actually preferred the Muggle clothing that they showed in the Sorcerer’s Stone film; it’s one of the things that I actually preferred about that point in the series. When the kids were wearing Muggle clothes, they were very nondescript. They weren’t things that caught a ton of attention; they didn’t have logos on them. They weren’t distinct to a particular fashion era. Whereas in the later movies, you’re like, “Oh, they went to Forever 21 to get that outfit.”

Eric: Or Abercrombie and Fitch. Yeah, well, that reminds me. My fourth must-have for this series: Keep them in robes all the damn time.

Andrew: [laughs] You listening, Alfonso?

Eric: School robes the whole time. Don’t care. They’re at wizard school. They’ve got to dress the part. Dress for the school that you want.

Laura: I don’t agree with that. Because in the books, they don’t wear robes the whole time.

Eric: Really?

Laura: No.

Eric: Really?

Andrew: I don’t agree with any of this.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I want it exactly the same as we saw in the movies.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Micah: No clothes? Is that what you’re going for?

Andrew: [laughs] No, I liked what they wore the movies. I had no problems.

Micah: Carmel says, “It’s more Potter content. If they can do the books justice, I’ll be happy! An appropriate Book 4 Dumbledore mood, and get the final Book 7 duel right!”

Eric: [laughs] “An appropriate…”

Andrew: Imagine Twitter the night the new Dumbledore does, [speaks calmly] “Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?”

Eric: There you go.

Micah: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: Andrew, you’re still my favorite casting for Dumbledore.

Andrew: Aww, thank you. Next feedback; we’re jumping back and forth here between positive and negative, it seems like. This is from Travis: “This is sure to be a massive disappointment. With so much Potter lore out there, they’ve allegedly decided to remake an already iconic story? The movies are terrific as they are. Sure, they had to leave some stuff out, but as standalone films, they get the job done and then some. Why not have a series surrounding the Hogwarts founding, the rise of Voldemort, the founding of Ilvermorny! Perhaps even the chaos surrounding what is now Azkaban? Or even a series about the story in Hogwarts Legacy? But no, we are going to try and remake the story that has already been done so well.” Again, safest option.

Laura: Yeah. Travis, I agree with you. All of those are great ideas. I don’t think that the studio is confident to be able to put together compelling original content that will do well. They tried it with Fantastic Beasts, started out compelling, and then… we know where it went.

Micah: I think, as we were saying earlier, they want to reestablish the base first and then spread out from there.

Laura: Well, this next one comes from Heidi, who says, “Woot woot! I love this idea.”

Micah: Aww, Andrew, your mom.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Laura: “My son and I have been reading the books together…”

Andrew: Oh, it is my mom. Wow.

Laura: Andrew, this is so sweet.

Andrew: It’s not my mom. It’s not my mom.

[Laura and Micah laugh]

Laura: “My son and I have been reading the books together at bedtime for years…”

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, wait, this is my mom.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Heidi, I’m so sorry that we keep getting cut off on this email. Andrew’s mom is named Heidi, so we’re just having some fun with this. Can somebody do some fan art of present-day Andrew reading bedtime stories with his mom?

Eric: Absolutely.

Laura: [laughs] Please.

Andrew: I have Midjourney now, the AI art generator, so I can just instruct it to do that.

Laura: Do it, do it, do it.

Eric: Oh, what happens if you get it to generate something based on your likeness? That’s kind of like inviting the devils into the… like, the vampires into your kitchen, right?

Andrew: Yeah, it’s a problem.

Laura: That’s the problem with AI, a lot of people are discovering. Anyway, back to Heidi’s email, not Andrew’s mom. “Literally, we have read through the series countless times, and to be able to watch the books come to life on TV with him would be amazing. He likes the movies and so do I but there is so much they had to leave out, to be able to see some of our favorite parts that aren’t in the movies would be fantastic. And poor Ron will actually get to say and do the things he does in the books. The movies did him dirty.” Thank you, Heidi. Thank you.

Eric: Ron, who is a smart character, gets to be a smart character.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Yes.

Andrew: I love the Ron love that we’ve seen today in the feedback.

Laura: I know. I want to to start a Ron Weasley Apologists Club.

Andrew: See, any listener who’s seeing some of this feedback, and maybe some of these ideas are coming into their mind for the first time, maybe you’re being a little swayed in terms of the potential here for the series.

Micah: Moving over to the ‘gram. Randy says, “I’m not ready to -“ This is your whole family.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: “I’m not ready to see a new trio yet, but I will be addicted nonetheless.”

Andrew: Yes, my brother in law is named Randy.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: All right, next up from Becca, my sister… oh, wait, no.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: BeattieShelton: “Each book after Chamber should be AT LEAST two seasons long!” Yeah, I agree with that.

Eric: From MattyHDot, “Episodes from different characters perspectives,” and an example is “Mrs. Norris petrification from Filch’s perspective.” That could be real good.

Laura: Okay, at first I read that as like, Mrs. Norris’s perspective of being Petrified.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: First of all, yes. Just a whole episode from the cat’s perspective, the way they did that episode of Supernatural from the car.

Micah: Well, I mean, for this, you could just show David Bradley’s reaction when Arya shows up.

Eric: Oh, right.

Laura: Ooh, yep. And that’s an HBO property; they could just…

Micah: It is.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Oh, they could just slice that in.

Laura: … pop that straight over.

Andrew: Cut and paste.

Eric: Yeah, no problem.

Micah: Ellie wants to “See the Hogwarts kitchens.” So if you want to see them before the show, you can get Hogwarts Legacy and tickle the pear. But yeah, I mean, this does provide… we talked a lot about characters, but I don’t know we talked as much about places that we’ve never been in. I know we did say Azkaban and St. Mungo’s, but there’s a lot of other places that in the movies, we’ve never gone to.

Eric: The Gaunt shack.

Andrew: Yeah. And speaking of house-elves, Winky and SPEW. That whole plotline could be brought back.

Micah: Hokey and Hepzibah Smith.

Eric: The Quidditch World Cup, because the five and a half minutes we got on the film did not count.

Laura: Right.

Andrew: Some more Quidditch in general would be nice.

Eric: [softly] But the budget!

Laura: Well, that gets hard as the story goes on, because there was less Quidditch in the books as they went on.

Eric: Quidditch fatigue.

Andrew: It’s true. You know what, though? I just had this thought: I think there’s a lot of opportunities here.

Laura: I agree. I love that word, opportunities. Are you listening, WB?

Andrew: [laughs] Well, that’s our discussion on this for now. I think we are at the outset of many, many, many, many, many more discussions. We didn’t even discuss what this means for MuggleCast, but certainly, there are some exciting ideas that we could kick around for the future of this show. But again, this is still a long way off, so for now, we’re just going to have to look forward to new casting developments and all of that before we get to actually see this thing. If you have any feedback about today’s discussion, or maybe you have some feedback about our Prisoner of Azkaban Chapter by Chapter series – because we are in the middle of that right now, and we will get back to that next week – you can send an owl to MuggleCast@gmail.com, or you can use the contact form on MuggleCast.com. You can also send a voice message just like Ron did last week; just record it using the Voice Memo app on your phone and then email us that file. Or you can use our phone number, which is 1-920-3-MUGGLE. That’s 1-920-368-4453. And in light of this special episode, we will skip Quizzitch this week, but it will be back next week. Right, Eric?

Eric: That’s right, everybody brush up on Remus Lupin’s middle name and submit that over to us on MuggleCast.com/Quizzitch’s form.

Micah: So I still have time.

Eric: You still have time.

Micah: But Andrew, the other thing I was thinking about, too, really quickly, is we’re going to get invites to the set and go to premieres.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, we won’t. No, we won’t. We are blacklisted.

Andrew: By probably not being in the good graces of Warner – we can try to get at least screeners, right? They can send us some screeners.

Micah: Why wouldn’t we be? We’re their good graces, come on. We just haven’t talked to them in a while.

Andrew: I think… well, they don’t love the JKR criticism, I would guess. Who knows?

Eric: Well, that’s not going anywhere.

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Laura: They also probably don’t love that JKR is putting herself out there for that kind of criticism, I would have to guess.

Andrew: Oh, that’s true. So we’re even.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Micah: Look, we’ve got some time here to work things out.

Andrew: We do. To rebuild the bridge, to Reparo any bridges that might be a little wobbly right now.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Well, we couldn’t do this without your support, because we definitely don’t have Warner Bros.’ [laughs] I’m sort of kidding.

Laura: Please leave that in. [laughs]

Andrew: We really couldn’t do this without your support, it’s true. We would really appreciate your financial support at Patreon.com/MuggleCast, and you’ll receive lots of great benefits in return, including instant access to years of bonus MuggleCast installments. You get access to our recording studio; we typically record on Saturday mornings, so you can join us live. You also get access to our exclusive Facebook and Discord groups. And if you’re pledging at certain levels, you’ll get a new physical gift every year. And it’s fair to say I think we won’t have a lot of time for more TV talk on the main show because we’re very busy with our lovely Chapter by Chapter series, so you can stay tuned to future bonus MuggleCast installments for a lot of talk about this TV show. Sure hope it happens, now that we’ve done a full episode on it. [laughs]

Laura: I know.

Micah: Right. It seems like we might get some more info next week, potentially, right?

Andrew: Possibly. Possibly. “Max that!”

Micah: Max. Just Max.

Andrew: “Max that,” yeah.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: We’re going to… so you’re saying we should call the segment “Max” now because they’re dropping a word?

Micah: No, “Max that” is fine.

Andrew: Okay, cool. Last but not least, don’t forget to follow us on social media. We’re @MuggleCast on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and TikTok. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Don’t forget to follow the show for free in your favorite podcast app if you’re a new listener, and leave us a five-star review if you enjoyed this and our other episodes. We’ll see you next week. I’m Andrew.

Eric: I’m Eric.

Micah: I’m Micah.

Laura: And I’m Laura.

Andrew: Bye, everybody.

Eric, Laura, and Micah:: Bye.

Andrew: Accio television remote!

[“Max that” sound effect plays]