Transcript #35

MuggleCast EP35 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Holy Horcrux – it’s MuggleCast – Episode 35 for April 16th, 2006! At USA Network, characters are welcome. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Can you believe that? Because I sure can’t – no offense. Enter the 2006 “Show Us Your Character Contest” to find out if you’re America’s most unique character and you could win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen! Enter MuggleNet and USA Network’s Character Competition by visiting and clicking on “Competitions” on the left.

See why is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain registration, you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON”; that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Visit today.

Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Jamie: Why am I always last? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And I’m Jamie Lawrence. Honestly, I’m last every single time.

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, first let’s check in with Micah Tan for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah [Intro to The Today Show begins playing]: From Studio 1A in…

Laura: Whoa, whoa, whoa, [laughs] Micah, what are you doing?

Micah: Huh?

Laura: This is MuggleCast, not The Today Show.

Micah: Oh, that’s right.

Starting this Wednesday, the National Portrait Gallery in London will display a new portrait of Dan Radcliffe among 40 other pieces of artwork. Dan’s piece in particular was created by Stuart Pearson Wright, who is most remembered for his depiction of JK Rowling last September. Dan originally posed for the sketch when he was 14.

Not only has Harry Potter changed the world in a drastic way by encouraging child literacy on an international scale, but it has also left quite an impact on the publishers of its books. Saturday’s Guardian Unlimited said:

“Once, Bloomsbury was a small, well-respected, independent publisher. Now, thanks to JK Rowling’s phenomenal success, it has more money than it knows how to spend.”

Speaking of JK Rowling, The Mail last Sunday criticized JK Rowling’s recent article about our skinny-obsessed world and how magazines glorify being thin. The headline of the controversial article reads:

“If you loathe the ‘skinny obsessed’ world so much, JK, why did you make evil Dudley Dursley so FAT?”

Following this criticism of JK Rowling and her article, the MuggleNet staff felt that a response was needed to let them know what genuine Harry Potter fans thought about the issue. This reply was written by Andy (the Encyclopedia boss) and can be found in the Encyclopedia Opinion section.

A new book written by Willa Shalit, entitled Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing Up Female, includes an essay from JK Rowling about growing up female. The book also contains essays from 66 other women, writing about the same subject. The April 24th edition of People Magazine contains an excerpt of her essay.

Girlguiding Scotland, an organization that enables girls and young women to fulfill their potential, is conducting interviews with 100 inspirational women. Harry Potter author JK Rowling is among those being interviewed. The interview is scheduled for May 1.

Stanislav Ianevski (Viktor Krum) and Tolga Safer (Karkaroff’s aide) will be attending the Elf Fantasy Fair later this month. The fair will be held the 22nd and 23rd of April in the Netherlands. Stan will be giving lectures while he is there. Additionally, Rupert Grint, along with James and Oliver Phelps, will be appearing on the Jo Whiley show on April 19th, that’s this Wednesday. The show airs between 10 AM and 12:45 PM on BBC Radio 1 in the UK.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, will be released in Germany on July 12th, 2007. This is one day earlier than the US and UK because movies in Germany are released on Thursday.

That’s all the news for this April 16th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

[NBC Theme plays]

Andrew: All right, thank you, Micah.


Andrew: Now, let’s get to a couple of announcements real quick and then we’ll keep moving along. Don’t forget MuggleCast T-shirts – you have to buy one or else you can’t listen to the show, which is the new rule around here. We’re all wearing our shirts right now. I wear them to school and I actually get noticed for once.

Kevin: Yeah, when the apples hit your head.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, also, don’t forget – a final reminder to RSVP for Lumos 2006.

Jamie: Lumos.

Andrew: Our next LIVE podcast will be held in Las Vegas, Nevada. RSVP by sending an e-mail to hp live at gmail dot com and then say, “Hey, I’m going with so-and-so many people,” [clears throat] so we can guess – well, not guess. So we can estimate how many people are going to be showing up.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Guess – I don’t think we want to guess.

Jamie: Guesstimate. Why don’t we just guess anyway?

Andrew: Yeah. What?

Jamie: Instead of asking people to RSVP, let’s just guess.

Andrew: All right.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s not a bad idea.

Jamie: Then we’ll know then. Guess, guess.

Andrew: I guess – I guess 500.

Ben: Bad joke – bad joke, Jamie.

Andrew: Moving on, there is a new feature over at and it’s a little “About Us” page that features everyone else who works on MuggleCast, including our new MuggleCast editor, JP – who also works over at and does VTM Live, which is Veritaserum‘s every-other-weekly news show. And the new “About Us” page is also where you can find a little information on each of the transcribers because [laughs] Micah is actually a poser, he doesn’t do any of the transcribing – it’s a few other people. No, I kid. He’s not a poser. He leads the group of transcribers, and they do a great job and it’s about time we feature them, so visit and there’s a little tab that says something that relates to [laughs] “Meet the MuggleCast Staff” that we haven’t put up yet.

Listener Rebuttal – Exchange Rate

Andrew: All right, now moving on to Listener Rebuttals for this week. The first one comes from Darianna, 16, of Fall River, Massachusetts. She writes:

“On Episode 33, Jamie mentions how Snape, who lives among Muggles, get some essentials that he cannot just use magic to get. He mentioned that Snape cannot just walk into a Muggle store and use Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts or “k-noots,” but in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter Four: At Flourish and Blott’s, pg. 57 US Edition, Mr. Weasley is all excited because Hermione’s parents are in Diagon Alley. He says, ‘”What’s that you’ve got there? Oh, you’re changing Muggle money. Molly, look!” He pointed excitedly at the ten pound notes in Mr. Granger’s hand.’ So, you can clearly convert Muggle money to Wizarding money in Gringotts. Still love your show. Bye.”

So, there’s our answer.

Jamie: Does he actually mean changing it, like exchanging it? Because I doubt there is like a cash changing place at Flourish and Blott’s.

Laura: Couldn’t he just Apparate to Diagon Alley and get what he needs.

Jamie: The thing – the voicemail said Flourish and Blott’s, didn’t it? Okay, anyway, anyway, oh right, okay then – perhaps there is then, there probably is. That sounds like a good plan, yeah – I mean a good theory.

Listener Rebuttal – Quirrell And Voldemort

Andrew: All right, this next listener rebuttal comes from Valerie of New York. She writes:

In Episode 34, you were discussing Quirrell and why Voldemort was sticking out of his head. If you look at the end of Book 1 on pg. 291 of the American version, you will see that Quirrell states that Voldemort placed himself on the back of Quirrell’s head to keep a closer watch on him after his failed attempt of stealing the stone from Gringotts; not because they ran out of dinner discussion topics! [laughs] Thanks and I love your show!

There is another answer that we would have gotten to, except for we’re not up to that part of Sorcerer’s Stone yet.

Kevin: And we actually have a voicemail regarding that.

Listener Rebuttal – The Astronomy Tower

Andrew: Davis, 11, from Texas writes:

You said they only use the Astronomy tower in the fifth book, but what about in the first when they give Norbert, Hagrid’s pet dragon to Charlie’s friends who were going to visit Charlie in Romania. In the book it says that they went to the tallest tower to send Norbert with Charlie’s friends. Wouldn’t that probably be the Astronomy tower since that would be the best place to see the stars.

Laura: I think we were talking about classes, in reference to using the Astronomy tower.

Kevin: Yeah, the tower. When we said that we haven’t seen the Astronomy tower, we were saying it in reference to classes. Like we’ve seen them in Defense Against the Dark Arts a lot and stuff like that, but not in Astronomy or at the tower.

Listener Rebuttal – Release Dates

Andrew: Elizabeth, 31, from Florida writes:

Hi guys, Listening to you all talk about the release date of the next movie and what it might mean for the release of Book 7. I couldn’t help but think you were looking at it the wrong way. Scholastic and Bloomsbury are not going to make their decisions based on what WB is doing. They have their own bottom line and profits to think about. There is no way Book 7 isn’t going to be a huge success, no matter when it’s released. What will determine when we will see it will be how fast JKR is writing, how long it takes to edit and print, and the logistics of getting it out and into stores. I don’t think we will see them on the same day, but I don’t think the same summer would be out of the question.

Ben: Right. Actually, last week when I was listening to the show (since I was absent with my ACT studies), when I listened to the show, some of you wisenheimers on here thought you had it all figured out. You’re saying, “Oh, yeah, there’s no way they would release them the same summer. Oh, no way. Oh, I know for sure. There’s no way they release them the same summer.” Well, you know what? You’re wrong. I think so. I think you’re wrong. Last time I said I thought you guys were wrong, I ended up being right.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: So, I’m 1-0, but anyway, I just think – when else is she going to release the book? She said on her site around New Year’s that 2006 will be the year that she writes the new Harry Potter book, the final Harry Potter. So, I just can’t see her waiting until 2008 to release it. And the book has to be released during the summertime – it’s like a tradition. It’s an unwritten rule. They have to be released during the summertime. I’d be very disappointed if the book was released November or December. I just see it happening during the summertime. And it probably won’t end up being July 07th, 2007, which Eric seemed to be really gung ho about.

Kevin: Yeah, a lot of people are.

Ben: But I think it will be sometime next summer. And I don’t know, I’m pretty excited about it, actually. I’m looking forward to one month having the book release and the next month going to a movie premiere. I think that will be fun.

Kevin: I definitely agree. And I think that all it would do is good for the industry because the hype. You build hype, so, you know?

Andrew: Well, I disagree with Elizabeth. She’s saying: “Scholastic and Bloomsbury are not going to make their decisions based on what WB is doing. They have their own bottom line and profits to think about.” They have to talk to each other! [laughs]

Ben: Okay, but seriously, it’d be a big Harry Potter extravaganza for the entire summer. They’re going to – they’re going to make millions upon millions of dollars. Why not have – why not release the book the same time you’re releasing the movie? Because the book’s going to attract a lot of interest, and then of course the movie will attract a lot of interest. And then – no! And then they’re going to basically cross-promote each other, and they’re going to generate revenue for each of them.

Jamie: They’re interested to release them both at the same time?

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: Not necessarily at the same time, though.

Jamie: No, of course not!

Kevin: Because then one profit can take away from the other.

Jamie: Yeah, no, exactly. They should do it quite a long time apart.

Kevin: They should stagger it by maybe a month or two.

Jamie: That’s too soon! That’s too soon!

Kevin: I don’t think so.

Ben: Well, why is it too soon, Jamie?

Jamie: Sorry?

Ben: Are you – do you – do you have some Potter-phobia here, Jamie?

Jamie: Some what?

Ben: Why is – why is it too soon, huh?

Jamie: Because…

Ben: I’m just curious why you think it’s too soon to release the book and the movie.

Jamie: The hype from a film doesn’t wear off before – you know, in just a month. It takes ages to wear off. You’ve got the DVD; you’ve got posters from it, all that kind of thing. If you release the book…

Kevin: Yeah, but they’re not going to wait for the release of the DVD.

Jamie: But if you – but if you release the book, say, a month after the film, the DVD would come three – no, no, a month after that. And there’s no way the hype from the book would die down enough to generate enough interest in people buying the DVD, so the DVD sales would lose out. You’ve got to absolutely stagger them.

Ben: No. Here’s where you’re wrong, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh, I’m sorry, God. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?

Ben: I am God. I am God. [laughs] I love you, Jamie. But here’s what I’m saying. In a way, they’re going to be able to cross…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …cross-promote each other. I mean, this – this is the Harry Potter phenomenon. There’s millions upon millions of fans. There’s still going to be the same kind of people who are the hardcore people who are going to go out and buy the DVD. Except now, instead of going out to buy the DVD, they’re going to go out and buy a copy of the book and the DVD, or they’re going to go see the movie. I don’t see – I understand what you’re saying, that it may be too much. But I still think it’d be the most profitable – most, yeah – the most profits they’d ever see.

Jamie: Why don’t they release the film at ten o’clock and release the book at 10:05?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: That’ll confuse every single Harry Potter fan. “Book or movie first? I don’t know!”

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah, you’d have to… Kevin, you were going to say something?

Kevin: Yeah. How long does it take them to release a DVD?

Jamie: I don’t know.

Ben: Like, three or four months.

Kevin: Okay. Yeah. So, if they release the book and then a month later release the movie in theaters, then you still have plenty of time for the hype to die down. And the movie, the movie can hype the book, saying, “go out and purchase a book,” when the book can hype the movie, saying “go out and see the movie in a month.”

Jamie: I don’t think that’s right, though, because you need to have the hype concentrated around one thing, like literature or film. So, like, you see in the news for, say, two months after the book is released, all things about the book, linked to the book. You see sort of awards for the book, you see it on the short list, you see it on opinion polls and all that kind of thing. If you cross the movies and the books, you’re going to have sort of – I don’t know, sort of mixed news items. And they are going to take away from one of them.

Ben: Okay, okay. Hear me out here. This MuggleCast episode is going to make history, okay? This is a historical MuggleCast moment right here. I want all of the MuggleCast listeners to get out a pen and write this down. The release – the release of the seventh Harry Potter book will be on June 16, 2007. Mark my words. Because I decided, okay? I have some inside information directly from Jo. Let’s just put it that way. No, I’m kidding. [laughs] No. I just have a – I just have a hunch, okay? That it will be June 16, 2007.

[Laura sighs]

Ben: And if that’s not right, it will be released during the month of June.

Laura: I’m just not sure [sighs]. I’m just not sure the book’s going to be ready by next summer because when you take into account the fact that it took her three years to write Order of the Phoenix and two years to write Half-Blood Prince, I’m just not sure that she could not only get the book written in one year, but then you have to consider the two or three months of editing, the printing, the cover art, the chapter art, just everything that goes into getting it ready to publish.

Ben: [sighs] I disagree here. I disagree here. This is the Harry Potter phenomenon.

Jamie: Why don’t we just have a fight to settle it?

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Jo’s in, Jo’s in a groove right now. Jo’s in a groove right now. She’s soaring. I mean, I have a feeling – I am counting on Summer 2007. If I don’t have Summer 2007… If I…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah. I’ll have to spend – I’ll spend all of June at Andrew’s house, if it…

Laura: Frankly, I don’t want her to rush. I don’t want her to rush at all.

Andrew: I don’t think she’s going to rush because I – I see it this way. She says she’s all fine and dandy with how writing is going now. All right. So by the end of the year, she says, “All right, I’m nearly complete,” and/or complete, like she did – what, it was two years ago, right? Yeah. It was two years ago. So then after that, there’s about a six to seven month preparation time where everything’s – the cover, the [sighs] you know, the publicity, the…yeah. But there’s going to be hype no matter what, for both the book and the movie, because they’re both so huge. And if people are worrying about, “Oh, they’re going to spend their money on Book 7 and then they’re going to have no money to go see the movie,” they’re going to be spending 40 bucks tops, food not included, to…

Laura: It’s not the marketing that I’m doubting. I just – I’m having a hard time imagining the book being ready by next summer, just seeing as she only started writing it in January.

Kevin: Yeah, but Laura, if it’s ready by next summer, I believe they’re going to release it whether or not the movie’s coming out that…

Laura: I don’t think that’s impossible. I don’t think that’s impossible at all.

Ben: Okay. But another thing is what you have to remember is that Jo was able to with a remarkable turnaround from Chamber of Secrets to Prisoner of Azkaban. I mean, I know it wasn’t as hyped as much as it is now, but still, she was able to write those books within a year of each other.

Laura: Yeah, but they’re also much shorter books.

Ben: No, no! Especially from the transition – the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was released in 1999. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was released in 2000. There, that proves to you that she’s able to make a remarkable turnaround.

Laura: But at that time, she didn’t have two children under the age of five.

Jamie: It’s not only that, Ben, but…

Ben: So? So she said that she already took time off to do that. To take – to spend time with her children.

Laura: [laughs] So she’s supposed to ignore them now?

Ben: Yeah, she just ignores them now!

[Andrew, Jamie, and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, she doesn’t ever talk to them. She just leaves them to her husband.

Kevin: Yeah, but I don’t think it’s the length of the book that matters…

Jamie: No, of course it’s not.

Kevin: It’s whether she has inspiration for it. You know, like how she’s…

Jamie: It’s planned as well. It’s planned.

Andrew: [laughs] I think – I think, yeah. She has it planned out. But I think she has plenty of inspiration to keep her going for…

Kevin: Yeah, but you know what I mean. I mean, it’s…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: What are you laughing at?

Kevin: You can get in a…

Andrew: Look out front of her house on the street, and I bet there’s going to be 50 million people out there waiting for her. And then she’ll feel inspired.

Ben: Right. And the other thing is – and another thing is, we have to remember, we have to remember that JK Rowling – everyone knows how she is. She’s a big planner. She has the whole series planned out; she knows what’s going to happen. It’s not like it’s – right. It’s not a mystery to her, so she knows – she has a good idea of what’s going to continue to happen in each chapter. Of course there’ll be changes along the way, but she still has some reasonable idea of what’s going to go on in each and every chapter. So that’s why I think that the book – if it’s not released during 2007, I’ll probably be really, really surprised.

Andrew: The one thing I’m concerned about that I think could really just delay this book is Jo finalizing everything. Because it’s sort of like when you’re doing a report or something and you just finish it, and you’re like, “Oh wait, do I have anything that I want to add in or take out?” It’s just like – because she’s closing it all up, she’s not going to be able to say anything else. I mean, she will, but not in its book form. So, I just think she’s going to be paranoid over, “Is this it, do I really want to finish it with this revision and draft?” You know?

Ben: Well, she knows she’s going to have to let go some time, though.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Right.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: It’s completely different to, like, a book report, though, because it’s going out to so many people. But…

Andrew: That adds to the pressure.

Jamie: Yeah, but also, she has to… Yeah, but she has to go back and go through every other book and make sure that what she’s writing in this one ties in with that, because it’s been a long, long time since she brought out the first book. She just has to make sure everything ties up every single loose end. Every single, sort of, theme, that she’s had running throughout the entire books has to continue into this one, and everything has to flow, so…

Ben: Mhm.

Jamie: It’s a monumental task. A year is going to be…

Ben: Oh course, but it’s the same thing… But you have to remember it’s the same thing for Book 6, that she had to do all the same exact things for Book 6.

Jamie: No, it isn’t exactly the same. That’s not true.

Kevin: Because she has to close everything.

Ben: No, she doesn’t. There’s no way she could close everything.

Jamie: She is going to close everything.

Kevin: Well, she’s not going to close necessarily everything, but she wants to close most of the threads that she’s started. So, she has to make sure she does a thorough job of doing that; otherwise people are not going to be satisfied with it.

Laura: Not to mention – don’t you guys remember – right before Order of the Phoenix, like the year before it came out, she was pretty much done with the book, but she said, “I want a bit more of a tweak.” And we didn’t see it for another year.

Kevin: Yeah…yep.

Ben: Right, but Order of the Phoenix was… It took her three years to finish that book.

Laura: Yeah, exactly, I’m just not sure…

Ben: I know, but, she had some serious problems with that one, and…

Laura: Like what?

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: I don’t think – I don’t know if she was really pleased with the results. Of course she had writer’s block or something. I mean, there’s some reason why it took her three years to write it and I know a lot of people like Book 5, but, for example…

Jamie: I loved Book 5.

Ben: …Emerson didn’t like the book.

[Andrew gasps]

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Jo, don’t worry Jo. It was my favorite book.

[Jamie still laughing]

Laura: I don’t know why people didn’t like it, but whatever. No, the thing is, I don’t think…

Ben: Because it took forever.

Laura: Well, yeah. It was – [laughs] – it’s the longest book in the series.

Jamie: Ben, why doesn’t she just sell her children? Then she could start writing all the time.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: That’s what you’d like, isn’t it Ben?

Ben: Okay, okay. She can spend two hours a day playing with the kids.

Kevin: Oh my god.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And then she can spend…

Jamie: Oh Ben!

Ben: Then she can spend another twelve writing the last Harry Potter book.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: When she…

Ben: She can’t eat, she can’t drink.

[Everyone laughs]

Chapter-by-Chapter: Chapter 9, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: Now, moving on to Chapter-by-Chapter this week, we will be discussing Chapter 9 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. This Chapter is called “The Midnight Duel” for an evil prank that Draco plays on Harry.

Chapter 9 – The Midnight Duel

Andrew: Was it a prank or was Draco, like, tipped off? I mean, was, like, Draco planning on going?

Laura: Well, Hermione said that Draco tipped Filch off.

Andrew: Well, he could have been planning on going and then he saw Filch so he ran back.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Andrew: All right, so… [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, we start of here with “The Midnight Duel” and…

[Telephone rings in the distance]

Laura: Oh my god.

Andrew: Is that the British phone?

Jamie: No, it’s not. No, it’s not.

Laura: No, that’s the American phone. That’s the Georgian phone.

Andrew: Wow, it sounds British.

Jamie: Andrew, you can’t tell…

Laura: Amazing.

Jamie: …your phone accents, what’s wrong with you?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: It sounds like your phone.

[Telephone still ringing]

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: You call yourself a professional phone…

Ben: That sounds like a phone from the 1950’s…

Laura: Does not!

Ben: Like one of those that hangs up on the…

Andrew: Sort of does. All right…

Madam Hooch, Flying Lessons and Quidditch

Jamie: The first line when it says – this is what I picked up first and foremost – when it says, “Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley.” I just thought the word “boy” had to be kind of significant since he can’t, sort of hate Dudley or Malfoy as much as he hates Voldemort, and now, Snape.

Andrew: All right, so the beginning of this chapter is focused around Quidditch and Harry’s first flying lessons that he has with Madam Pomfrey…[long pause]…Hooch.

Kevin: Pomfrey!

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Madam Hooch.

Andrew: I looked around my room for a second…

Ben: Madam Pomfrey?

Andrew: It’s all right.

Laura: I was wondering, did you guys notice that she has – described her as having “yellow eyes like a hawk.” And I was wondering if it was possible that she was a Metamorphmagus or something.

Ben: Oh yeah.

Jamie: Oh yeah, as a hawk, yeah.

Laura: Yeah but have we ever seen anyone whose characteristics change just be cause they were an Animagus?

Andrew: No, I think it’s just to symbolize that she’s a good flyer.

Laura: I just thought it was interesting because we haven’t really seen anyone else in this series, who was human, who had unusual characteristics like that apart from Tonks.

Ben: What about Umbridge?

Laura: Well, she has striking characteristics to a toad, but her eyes aren’t purple, you know? I just thought it was an interesting…

Ben: You’re a magical person – you have magic blood in you, there’s bound to be something crazy about you.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: I guess.

Ben: I have the inside track.

Kevin: I agree with Laura.

Ben: I have the inside track of Jo’s…

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: We see people every day who kind of have sort of striking resemblances to various animals, I mean, that’s a human thing.

Ben: Mhm. You look like a dog.

[Everyone laughs, except Laura]

Laura: Thanks, Ben.

Ben: [Still laughing] I’m just kidding! I’m just kidding!

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m just kidding, Laura.

Laura: Yeah Ben, you look like a sloth, but no one ever makes fun of you for that.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: A sloth look. I look like a swan. A huge swan.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m so graceful.

Kevin: Wow.

Andrew: All right. All right, so Harry’s at his flying lessons and one of the first things that I found most interesting in this chapter was the quote where it says, Harry picks up the broom and he said, “Harry knew, somehow, what to do” with the broom. What does this mean? Does this mean he is – this is his first connection to his father?

Jamie: No, it just means that he’s a natural flyer.

Kevin: It’s natural, it’s a natural…

Laura: Mhm.

Ben: It’s like the first time you get on a bike.

Jamie: Who, Ben? Who can get on a bike and start riding?

Ben: Well, actually, hold on a second. Let me get in my drawer and pull out my list of the names of people who succeeded on their first bike ride.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I have an entire directory of people for you. I don’t know, I mean, I’m sure there’s people that can do it, just like – it’s like throwing a baseball. I’m just saying that some things come naturally to certain people. Some people excel at certain things.

Andrew: Actually, I was thinking that this line was [laughs] a way of foreshadowing what was to come.

Jamie: Yeah, and Andrew, that is backed up by where it starts saying, “Harry ignores her, blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared, air rushed through his hair and his robes whipped out behind him, and in a rush of fierce joy he realized he’d found something he could do without being taught. This was easy, this was wonderful.” So, Ben, do you think that they should get some people just to climb into jumbo jets and start flying because it comes naturally to them?

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Okay, flying a jet is a lot more complicated than flying a car, dude.

Jamie: What about just before he kicks off into the air, it gives a description of how bad the broomstick is. It says that, “Harry glanced down at his broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles.” Do you think that’s just merely a comparison with his Firebolt so when we get to see his Firebolt and his Nimbus 2000, it just makes it even more impressive?

Ben: Yeah, that’s probably why.

Kevin: Yeah, definitely.

Laura: Well yeah, but we also know that they’re school brooms and that a lot of different people use them, so they’re likely to be pretty beat up.

Kevin: I think it’s reiterating that he has natural talent.

Jamie: Yeah, but is that…

Ben: Agreed.

Kevin: And the fact that he’s a first year and he’s getting a position that normally, what, third years would get?

Jamie: Yeah, third, I guess.

Kevin: It’s showing that some superiority over that of third years, you know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: I also think it’s something that Harry needed to kind of prove that he is special and he is talented, because he feels like he’s famous for something he can’t even remember.

The Trophy Room

Jamie: I was going to say, why is the trophy room always unlocked? Is it just so people can walk in and admire them and say, like, you know…or some other reason? I don’t know.

Ben: Hmmm. Maybe it’s in a foyer area.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s a trophy room.

Andrew: No, it’s called the trophy… Yeah, it’s called the trophy…

Jamie: The trophy foyer.

Ben: It’s called the trophy foyer.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: The trophy foyer.

Kevin: Now, Jamie, are you referring to the fact that people may steal the trophies or something?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah people may steal them or…yeah, but…

Kevin: You don’t think that there’s protections on them?

Ben: No, there’s no protections at all. They just have them sitting right there in the open.

Kevin: That’s what I’m saying, like…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But, Kevin, like if there’s protection on them, why are other rooms locked as well? Because, surely there’s, like – there can’t be every single room in the entire thing…

Kevin: Because there’s some rooms that aren’t meant for the kids to see.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: I mean, for example, the Potions storage closet. You need to have that locked. You can’t have kids snooping around the…

Jamie: That’s true. To a first year who, like, doesn’t know much magic, a locked door is probably more powerful than the incantations because Dumbledore’s protection would beat even the most powerful of wizards, but a first year, like, just a locked door seems simpler.

Kevin: But go into any school, I mean, the majority of locked doors would be either systems rooms or administrative rooms where the teachers hang out.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: You know, it’s not…

Ben: Yeah, the majority of the – yeah, right, the majority of schools have there trophies enchanted too.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. It’s called an alarm system. You pick them up and it goes off.

Ben: Well, maybe there’s a lock on the trophy cabinets instead of a – so they can still be admired. Do you get what I’m saying?

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Jamie, maybe – Jamie, maybe the incantation to lock it or whatever was actually on the cabinets where you slide to open it as opposed to the door to enter the room.

Jamie: Or perhaps there is a spell of bulletproof and spell-proof glass that’s just in front of it, and, and, and a sheet of ultraviolet glass so the sun can’t damage the trophies. Perhaps…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Perhaps, I’m just speculating here, but it could be.

Andrew: But no – but seriously…

Laura: I just think it was convenient. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, what’s so unbelievable about there being glass around the trophies?

Ben: Well, I think – don’t you think it makes logical sense that Snape could just unlock the cabinets?

Jamie: Yeah, it does.

Ben: It’s not really rocket science. There is no use speculating over this I think. Jamie, you bring up a good point about the locked doors but in terms of the specific – the specific scenario with the trophy room, I feel, rather, that the door was locked…

Jamie: I was actually joking when I was talking about UV glass, Ben, I must admit now.

Don’t Do THE Wrong Thing

Andrew: Another thing I wanted to point out was that there was a couple references where – I think it was just Harry – there’s this automatic assumption, and it seems like it’s probably among all first years, that if you do one wrong thing, boom, you’re automatically out of Hogwarts.

Kevin: Oh yeah.

Jamie: The wrong thing, did you say?

Andrew: Like, yeah, something out of line, inappropriate, whatever. Like sneaking out at night, like they were doing to meet up with Draco.

Jamie: Oh right, oh right. Yeah, you’d think that like, sneaking out wouldn’t actually be that bad because they can’t expect you to, to just stay in your dorms all night. It just seems weird. If you’re at a castle, you just expect people to walk around. Like in University, where I am, you aren’t expected to stay in. You walk around, you go outside at 4:00 AM if you want to. You can walk around the inside of the institution.

Kevin: Yeah, but how old are you?

Jamie: I am 87, Ben, I mean Kevin.

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Ben: [laughs] Right, but another thing is that they may act that way just because they don’t want to screw up and make anybody mad. If you know what I’m saying? You don’t want to leave a poor impression your first time there.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: Yeah, but it just seems terrible that there locked in – well I don’t want to say locked but in their dorms all night. If they actually needed to keep them there, why didn’t they put an incantations on them? I mean, It could be just…

Ben: Because that destroys all the trust, because – Jamie, that destroys all the trust involved…

Jamie: Don’t get philosophical, Ben.

Ben: …because everything’s about trust. If you locked them in there, you would never be able to truly assess their ability to follow the rules.

Kevin: Not to mention, what if there’s a fire?

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: You just locked all the children in.

Ben: Oh yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: If there’s a fire – yeah, that’s true.

Laura: Not to mention..

Andrew: No, but…

Laura: It’s expected.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: It’s expected that students are going to escape out. So…

Jamie: Exactly. Yeah, it’s expected. Why don’t they steal some nice CCTV camera’s hooked up to Dumbledore’s laptop.

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Dumbledore’s laptop.

Jamie: Dumbledore’s laptop.

Kevin: Okay yeah, let’s move on.

Andrew: Well, no, I just wanted to say that I remember reading – someone said, I wish I remembered who it was, but someone mentions that it’s for their own good. So, there’s some idea – they have an idea as why they’re suppose to be staying in.

Jamie: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: Obviously there’s dangers at Hogwarts and they want to keep them inside them inside the common rooms…

Jamie: Okay. Yeah okay, fair enough.

Andrew: …and bedrooms.

Ben: That’s because Dumbledore and McGonagall are shagging in the Great Hall.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don’t want people walking in on them.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Dumbledore waved his wand at McGonagall.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: All four tables flew to the side.

The Blood Baron Bodyguard?

Jamie: Neville is sleeping by the Gryffindor dorm room and Hermione, Ron, and Harry walk past. Why did he say the Bloody Baron had been past twice? No, no, no, sorry, why had the Bloody Baron been past twice? It seems like a weird quote just to include for no reason. Is there a reason for why he came past?

Ben: Well, Mr. Scull…

Andrew: Does he use some [laughs] Mr. Scull. Does he do some sort of patrolling along the corridors at night?

Laura: That’s what I figured.

Jamie: Yeah, but he seems like such a nasty character. Do you really think he’s being used for students’ safety?

Andrew: Well, he could just be cruising around Hogwarts.

Ben: What else can you do if you’re a ghost?

Laura: The impression I’ve gotten of the Bloody Baron was that he’s kind of territorial, and we also know that he absolutely hates Peeves. So, it wouldn’t surprise me that he was patrolling the castle to make sure nothing was going on.

Kevin: He hates him because he can’t…

Laura: Well, I’m under the impression that he’s…

Jamie: No, no, no, no, he can control him. He can control him.

Ben: He can.

Laura: Yeah, he can.

Ben: Kevin Steck, read your Harry Potter books.

Laura: But I have a feeling that he was patrolling to keep Peeves and other things in line.

Ben: Or just patrolling because he’s a ghost and he’s bored and…

Jamie: Just imagine, you would get so bored being a ghost. You’d be like, play tennis but wouldn’t be able to hold the racket up because it would just fall through your hand.

Ben: Oh ho ho ho!

Jamie: Ghost tennis, I wonder if there’s a ghost tennis.

Andrew: The Bloody Baron doesn’t talk, right? Isn’t he like always nearly silent?

Jamie: We haven’t actually seen him enough to know if he’s silent or not, have we?

Laura: Well, I think he does talk, but I don’t think Harry’s ever heard it. Just something that happened at the end of the book.

Jamie: When Harry, and Hermione, and Ron – or was it just Harry and Ron? – were under the Invisibility Cloak, and Peeves was there and Harry put on that hoarse whisper and says, “Peeves, the Bloody Baron has his own reason’s for being invisible.” Peeves, no, no, well, he must talk because Peeves didn’t go, “Well, you haven’t ever spoken before, what’s brought this on?”

Kevin: That’s true.

Ben: Exactly. Yeah.

Andrew: Wasn’t Harry doing an impersonation?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Yeah, so Harry must have heard him before too.

Andrew: No, Harry could just be making it up.

Ben: Right, but he happened to be dead on though, you know?

Jamie: Yeah, big coincidence, big coincidence.

Andrew: Not really.

Ben: Mhm.

Andrew: Like perfect example, Ben imitates Micah all the time and is completely off.

Jamie: But he’s heard him, Andrew.

Andrew: But you hear him all the time.

Jamie: But you’ve heard, Ben…

Andrew: You don’t have to hear someone to imitate them though.

Jamie: What?!?!?

Andrew: I never…

Jamie: What do you mean you don’t have to hear someone? You mean Ben just put on the, [in deep voice] “Hey Micah” just on…

Andrew: No, you can come up – listen, you can come up with your own impersonation of him based on what you see. He’s some old guy, so what are you going to do – an old hoarse voice.

Ben: Yeah, but sometimes images can be deceiving though. For example, Robert Lloyd-Pack, I think it is, who played…

Jamie: Roger Lloyd-Pack.

Ben: Yeah, okay, he looks like a guy who would have a deep booming voice, but in reality he’s like [impersonates Roger Lloyd-Pack] “You will join the Magical Games Committee, or else! The Goblet of Fire has chosen four people, what, oh my, what will we do?”

[Everyone laughs]


Andrew: All right, so the biggest part of the chapter is when we’re introduced to Fluffy, the three-headed dog. Draco challenges Harry to a midnight duel in the trophy room, like we were just discussing, and Draco doesn’t show up to Harry’s disarray, Filch along with Mrs. Norris both show up. And that’s when they begin to run and run up to the third floor corridor where they get into the room where Hermione says, [impersonates Hermione] “Oh move over!” and they do a little spell. It’s a direct relation to the book although it’s interesting that they skipped the whole midnight duel thing, I think it would have been more interesting to see that.

Kevin: Yeah, me too.

Laura: Yeah, that was one of the things that I really wanted to see in that movie.

Jamie: What about the – we should talk about how Peeves talks to Filch in his sing-song voice. Now, I remember that on the site, somebody wrote that it just said, “Blah blah blah Peeves said in his sing-song voice.” But I checked in the British version and it said, “In his annoying sing-song voice.” Do you think there’s any reason they changed it in the American version if they did? I don’t know if they did, can somebody check it?

Andrew: Yeah, where is this?

Jamie: Just before they enter Fluffy’s corridor.

Kevin: Let’s see.

Ben: [impersonating Jamie’s accent] Corridor.

Jamie: It’s just they changed loads of small things, I just wonder if they really mean anything or if they just throwing lines for people to…

Kevin: In a saintly voice.

Jamie: Sorry, in what?

Kevin: A saintly voice.

Jamie: A saintly voice, it says?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Really?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Where does it say that?

Andrew: Well, saintly is…

Kevin: Unless – it says, “should tell…”

Jamie: Okay. One second, one second.

Kevin: Oh! Annoying singsong. I have annoying.

Jamie: Oh right, oh right. It is annoying. Okay. No, don’t worry then. I thought it was just singsong in the American edition.

Andrew: Well, I’m sure it’s the same as yours.

Kevin: Well, not necessarily.

Jamie: Andrew has a special Andrew copy.

Laura: No, it’s not. Kevin got a special one.

Jamie: Oh, okay then. Well yeah that’s just because – that’s why Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn’t get slaughtered as soon as they went into Fluffy’s den – because Peeves’ annoying singsong voice put him to sleep.

Ben: Good point.

Jamie: Things you may have missed.

Laura: Oh! I didn’t notice that!

Andrew: What? Are you sure about that?

Jamie: Yeah, it must be. Why do you think they didn’t walk in and then just – and he didn’t kill them all?

Andrew: He could be sleeping because he’s trapped in there all day. [laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, you can’t say that. Maybe he’s on his bloody laptop going on the Internet.

Andrew: No, stop. Be real.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: Stop with the laptops.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: No, honestly I think that that’s a really big possibility.

Ben: That’s a major plot point, too.

Andrew: But it’s not like Peeves is in there cackling and being loud and annoying for a good – maybe a minute. That can’t automatically put a dog to sleep.

Jamie: It’s a possibility, though.

Laura: Well, I don’t know. When they played the flute at the end, he went to sleep pretty fast.

Andrew: Well that’s because that was – they knew it was a flute that could put him to sleep.

Jamie: And it says, “It was…” – about Fluffy – “It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the only reason they weren’t already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise.” I don’t think that’s true. I think that’s there to make people think that, but it’s not – that isn’t true. It’s Peeves’ annoying singsong voice. Surely Dumbledore put Fluffy there so that if somebody came in, it wouldn’t think, “Wow,” you know, “Who are these people? I’ll wait for a couple of seconds, then I’ll kill them.” In case the person puts a spell on them or something.

Andrew: Yeah. All right, yeah, that’s an interesting point. Very clever.

Jamie: And…

Andrew: All right so they run into – they run – what’s next? There’s really nothing left.

Jamie: No, no, there is. There’s just…

Laura: Well, that’s also one of the largest mythological connections in the series. Because, yeah, he guarded the Underworld.

Jamie: I was going to say that. Yeah.

Laura: Well, that’s pretty much confirming the whole thing about the grubby little package from Vault 713 being under there.

Andrew: All right, well that does wrap up this week’s Chapter-by-Chapter. It was a smaller chapter. There wasn’t as much detail to get into – probably because Eric wasn’t here. He would’ve still been on pg. 1 if he was in this right now. Next week we will be reading Chapter 10 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone titled “Halloween”. I’m sure there will be plenty to talk about in here.

Voicemail – Inside Quirrell’s Head

Andrew: Next up we have some general voicemail questions for you this week. Kevin, please roll the first one.

[Audio]: Hey this is Abby from Lawrenceville, Georgia and I think I have an answer for why Voldemort decided to hang out on the back of Quirrell’s head instead of some other random part of his body. Maybe, because he wasn’t very strong at the time, being on the back of Quirrell’s head was the only way Voldemort could control him. I mean, even if he couldn’t use the Imperius curse on Quirrell, literally being in his brain would probably have the same effect. I just wanted to know what you guys thought. I love you guys! Bye!

Jamie: But he wasn’t actually in his brain, was he? He was just on the back of his head.

Kevin: Yeah, but you are…

Jamie: Did he actually penetrate his brain or not?

Andrew: But Abby still does make a good point. He definitely was not strong enough to support his own body.

Ben: Some psychological effect on Quirrell.

Jamie: Did he have any power, Voldemort then? Did he have like – I mean – was it Quirrell that had to put him on his head? Or could he actually put himself on his head? Because Quirrell – instead of being – I mean, that must be a weird request [laughs]. Sorry.

Kevin: Yeah, but it wasn’t that. It was the fact – it’s Voldemort. You don’t say no. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah but if – but if say…

Kevin: The fear factor.

Jamie: I don’t know. Yeah, but if – think of somebody really scary – a real-life person.

Kevin: If Jack the Ripper told…

Jamie: If Jack the Ripper came up to you and said – and said, “Stick a knife in you,” and he was just a face on the ground, you wouldn’t do it, would you? But you’d be more likely to do it if he was a real person. He was, you know, massive.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, but think of it this way – Voldemort could’ve found someone else to leech off of and then once Voldemort came back to his full power, Quirrell would’ve been the first one to get knocked off. So…

Laura: Not to mention Voldemort was possessing snakes and living inside of snakes.

Jamie: Just put him inside a box and nailed it shut until they found all the Horcruxes and then they could kill him or something. I don’t know.

Laura: I think Quirrell was operating under the assumption that Voldemort wasn’t going to leave him for dead.

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah that’s probably right. Yeah.

Voicemail – The Fat Lady

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCasters. This is Laura from New Jersey. While reading Chapter 9 of Sorcerer’s Stone, “The Midnight Duel,” I was thinking about all the times Harry, Ron, and Hermione went past the fat lady in the middle of the night. Why doesn’t the fat lady inform someone that there are students out of bed? I just want to hear your theories. Thanks! I love your show!

Andrew: Is it her job necessarily?

Jamie: No, but I think there’s an element of sort of free will around Hogwarts. You can’t have just every single person informing on each other. I mean, if you think, it would be so easy with all the magic – Occlumency – yeah. Occlumency, Patronuses, you know, talking to other portraits – it would be so easy for everyone to know what everyone was up to, but it just would not work like that. I don’t think the school could get away with telling the portraits to inform when people did anything wrong.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: It just takes away free will completely.

Kevin: Yeah I think there’s a level of trust at Hogwarts.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Kevin: And it’s just dealing with the fact that the magic enables you to spy on someone…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …almost exclusively. You know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Anytime, anywhere you can spy on someone. So, there’s a level of trust that they have to maintain so people don’t…

Laura: I was going to say I think that it has something to do with who the Headmaster is because I think Dumbledore just sort of operates on, you know, “If I don’t hear about it, I don’t know.”

Andrew: Mhm.

Laura: So I don’t think it really bothers him that much if some students are out of bed as long as they’re not doing anything destructive.

Jamie: Yeah, but the Headmaster is still accountable to the governors. I mean, it seems weird. I mean, it seems like the governors in Chamber of Secrets were all sort of nice people apart from Lucius because it seemed like he bullied all them in deciding that thing for Dumbledore’s disposal, but it would be interesting to find out how much say the governors actually have.

Kevin: If any.

Jamie: Because it does seem like it’s just Dumbledore that, you know, basically runs things. But I don’t know.

Andrew: I think there should be more of a concern over why do the – why do the portraits have to leave during day or night. Because what if someone really needs to get in? And a perfect example was just here in Chapter 9 – and no one’s in there.

Laura: Well, they don’t have to leave, they choose to.

Jamie: Yeah. But if they had to stay there, it would – everything would just be too perfect, you know? It would be like – you can’t – it’s basically a real person. You can’t expect them to hang around forever and it would just be too easy to do everything if you know what I mean. There just seems like there’s a degree of uncertainty with the magical world with stuff like that, and that’s what makes it so different and interesting.

Voicemail – Ollivander And Animagi

[Audio]: Hi, I’m Chelsea and I’m from Canada and I have a question about Mr. Ollivander. At the beginning of Sorcerer’s Stone when Harry goes to Diagon Alley to get his wand, Mr. Ollivander tells Harry about his parents’ wands and he tells Harry that James’ wand was good for Transfiguration and that he favored his wand. Do you think this means that he knew James and Sirius and Peter had become Animagi? Love to hear what you think! Thanks! Bye!

Jamie: Well, do you think that Ollivander can tell just from a wand if it’s good for Transfiguration? I mean, do you think that like, phoenix feather is particularly good for charm work or Transfiguration or that – and that dragon heartstring is good for, I don’t know, a different type? Or was it just that one person with a certain wand can…

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t think that he can predict how the wand is going to be used.

Jamie: But, he said that the wand was good at Transfiguration rather than James was good at Transfiguration.

Ben: That’s true. So, it could depend upon what like, the wand’s core is and the way the wood of the wand is made and how it’s carved and stuff to determine maybe what spells it’ll be best at? I mean, I don’t think that it will – it’ll make it really bad at doing certain things, but maybe the wand will be better at excelling in certain areas like Transfiguration.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I think and I don’t think it necessarily means that the person the wand chooses is going to be good at that particular thing.

Ben: Right. It’s like saying if you give somebody, let’s see, if someone learns a skill like a driving skill – you learn to fly an airplane. You don’t start them out with a big Boeing 747. You start them off with a small four-passenger plane and then you eventually – they work their way up. You know what I am saying?

Laura: Well, also Ollivander said that Lily’s wand was good for Charms, but we found out in Half-Blood Prince that Potions was her best subject.

Kevin: Right.

Jamie: Yeah, but there is no wand work in Potions.

Laura: No, there isn’t. But you would think if the wand’s best ability was the person’s best ability, that she would be best at charms.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. But it’s like, do you think two people with completely identical skills – you can have one with a better wand, so he’d win a duel? Because Ollivander says that Voldemort’s wand was yew and exceptionally powerful.

Kevin: It’s possible, but I think it falls more on the skill of the person than the wand itself.

Ben: Right, but he’s saying in a theoretical world, if two people have identical skills, could the wand make the difference?

Jamie: Some wands, it just seems like, yew, 13 inches. It just seems like that sounded like a really powerful wand for any type of work. It just seems like any spell could have like 110% power, where as any other wand would only give it a certain amount of power.

Ben: Right, but it also depends on… Yeah, sorry. I was also going to say it depends on the magical ability of the person… I think it depends a lot more on that. I mean, maybe do wands have any effect on how fast the spell is transmitted even? Or do wands…? We haven’t really seen the relationship between a person and the wand and how like the magic transfers through it, if you know what I saying.

Jamie: I’d love to know what wand Dumbledore’s got. That would be very interesting to find out.

Kevin: Had. [laughs]

Jamie: Had – you can’t say that Kevin. That’s not right. Don’t say that.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: He’s not dead! Dumbledore’s not dead!

Kevin: I corrected you on that one.

Jamie: Hey, Kevin, Kevin, he still has wand. It could be buried with him.

Kevin: But, he’s not alive.

Andrew: Wait, didn’t they? No, I thought I remember hearing something like they burned it or something. Weren’t we talking about this a few weeks ago?

Kevin: Yeah, they don’t keep it. There’s some ceremony with it.

Ben: Mhm.

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: Yeah. Oh right.

Kevin: So, he doesn’t have his wand. Or…

Andrew: Yeah. I can’t remember where we heard that though.

Jamie: We heard it on the grapevine.

Ben: We just made it up, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, we heard it on the grapevine.

Kevin: No, Jo…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We’re starting rumors hoping they’ll make JK “Rolling,” JK Rowling’s Rubbish Bin.

Jamie: Oh yeah, she did. That’s the one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: I forgot.

Jamie: We just completely forgot.

Andrew: She called on her bat phone.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew hums]

Andrew: Okay, next voicemail.

Voicemail – The Grangers In Diagon Alley

[Audio]: Hi, this is Sarah from North Carolina and I was wondering how Hermione’s parents get to Diagon Alley if they are Muggles? Thank you, and I love the show! Bye!

Andrew: Well, Sarah I think it is something as simple as the wizards open it up for them.

Kevin: Even though they can’t see the building?

Ben: No, they can. I think it’s like the same idea – could a Squib see the Leaky Cauldron. I think so. I think once your mind has been opened to the magic understanding, that you know, that you realize the magical world exists and that you acknowledge it’s existence, then you will be able to see it. It doesn’t actually depend on whether or not you have magic in your blood.

Jamie: But Ben, Muggles can’t see Dementors. But, I mean, it just seems weird. If you’re told what they are, it just seems weird that you can’t see them.

Ben: Well, that’s a good point though. Like Mrs. Figg, she’s a Squib and she can’t see the Dementors.

Jamie: She understands a great deal of the magical world, obviously.

Kevin: Either that or something about the wizard telling you that the location is there. It’s sort of like a Secret-Keeper kind of thing, you know? A much larger sense.

Jamie: I wonder what actually makes a wizard though? Is it like – I mean this is going to get way too technical, but I don’t know. Do you think it’s like…

Ben: Didn’t Jo mention genes? Doesn’t it have something to do with the genes and dominant and recessive and all that?

Jamie: Oh yeah. Yeah, she mentioned that actually, but does that mean it’s like a DNA thing? You know, being a wizard, your DNA structure? Like Spiderman.

Voicemail – The Half-Blood Prince

Andrew: Next question comes from Kinja of Virginia. Hey, that kind of rhymes.

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast! This is Kinja from Salem, Virginia. I just wanted to tell you guys about something I realized after reading Half-Blood Prince six times. I’m convinced Snape cannot be the Half-Blood Prince. On pg. 337 of the US edition, Lupin asks Harry how old his Advanced Potion Making book is, and Harry replies, “I dunno, I’ve never checked.” About a paragraph down Harry checks the date on his book. “There he turned to the pages, searching, until he finally found, at the front of the book, the date it had been published. It was nearly fifty years old. Neither his father nor his friends had been at Hogwarts fifty years ago.” Harry throws the book into his trunk and goes to bed. I was just wondering what you guys thought. Your show is great! Thanks! Bye!

Laura: It was his mother’s book. That’s why it was old. It was second-hand.

Jamie: Really? Is that actually true? [laughs]

Ben: it doesn’t necessarily have to be his mother’s book, it could be…

Andrew: Yeah, it could be anyone’s book.

Laura: I always assumed it was his mother’s, just because it just seems like it would make sense. It was at least some kind of second-hand book. I get that in Book Mistakes all the time.

Jamie: Snape clearly is the Half-Blood Prince. But, apart from him saying it and the mother evidence, is there anything else?

Kevin: Yeah, but there is no doubt that he is. He’s not the person to brag about something that…

Jamie: No, I agree.

Kevin: So, the evidence is him saying that he is the Half-Blood Prince because he is.

Jamie: That is true.

Laura: Mhm. I think there was just a lot of confusion with people overlooking the fact that the book was old – that it was second-hand and I don’t think a lot of people caught on to that, because I get that in Book Mistakes so often, it’s actually kind of annoying.

Andrew: All right, that wraps up this week’s voicemails and that wraps up the sh… Oh wait!

Kevin: That’s what I am saying.

Andrew: Wait, why don’t we just get rid of Kevin and keep going?

Jamie: Awww.

Kevin: That’s what I am saying.

Jamie: Poor Kevin.

Laura: Yeah, Kevin. Get out.

Kevin: Okay, so I’m all set?

Andrew: All right. Kevin, leave.

Kevin: Okay, bye guys!

Jamie: Bye Kevin!

Ben: Bye Kevin!

Andrew: Bye Kevin!

Kevin: Oh, thanks a lot.

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: We’ll miss you. We’ll talk about you behind your back.

Kevin: See you guys.

Andrew: Oh thank god I can stop putting that act on.

Jamie: What act?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: All right.

Jamie: No comment.


Andrew: Now this week we’re going to try out a new segment. We’re going to put it through our beta-testing, which means absolutely nothing. This week [laughs] we’re going to try a new segment that we will tentatively call “Favorites,” where we pick one topic relating to whatever it is Harry Potter, and we each go around the table and say why it is our favorite “blah.” So this week how about we start with favorite actor of the Harry Potter series.

Laura: Well I know mine, but I am going to get hate mail for it. [laughs] I really like Michael Gambon. [laughs] I think he’s awesome. He’s fabulous. Well, I think he really portrays Dumbledore really well. I appreciate Richard Harris’ portrayal, but I feel like Michael Gambon definitely gets more of the feistiness and more of the excitement, and I sort of see more of that twinkle in the eye more with him than I did with Harris.

Andrew: Laura, I’d actually have to agree, but since you already said Michael Gambon, I will say Alan Rickman – like you briefly mentioned, because I think he has the same style the Gambon has. He’s very – I don’t really know how to explain it. He’s very… He really is a perfect Snape, yeah. He’s just [laughs] I don’t even know what to say. Oh, he’s just incredible. I just love him. Words cannot…

Laura: Andrew fangirls Alan Rickman.

Ben: For me, I’d have to go with Alfie Enoch.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Why is that Ben? That’s a really random character to chose, actor.

Ben: His portrayal of Dean Thomas is AMAZING! Oh geez, I’ve never seen such a good portrayal.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: No, I am just kidding. Actually, it has to be Evanna Lynch. Evanna Lynch, I’d say.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, she’s the best actor – actress I’ve ever seen.

Andrew: Wait, Ben. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions here. I mean we haven’t even seen her in a film.

Ben: Well, I was actually going to make a fansite about her.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Who Ben, who?

Andrew: Why would you do that, you haven’t even seen her yet.

Ben: Oh, I don’t know. I’ll just jump on the bandwagon like everyone else.

Andrew: Oh.

Ben: Okay, in reality, my favorite actor would have to be Robbie Coltrane, who plays Hagrid because he does an excellent, excellent job as portraying Hagrid. And I think there is no doubt about that. Jo has said so herself. And she created him, so you can’t argue with that. And for my favorite actress, well of course is Emma.

Jamie: Oh yeah, you love her, don’t you?

Ben: Because…

Laura: Wow, I didn’t see that coming.

Ben: …she’s so darn pretty.

Andrew: Can you give us a Rubeus Hagrid impression?

Ben: Oh, what do you want?

Andrew: I think they’re perfect.

Ben: [impersonating Hagrid] “Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: That’s good. That’s good, Ben. Well done. Well done.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s great.

Ben: Who’s doubting me?

Andrew: Jamie, what about you?

Jamie: Okay, favorite actor – I think, Michael Gambon’s awesome as well, I really like how he’s done Dumbledore. I thought Richard Harris, the late Richard Harris, was exceptionally good as well, but I just feel Michael Gambon really gets it. I think Tom Felton’s really good as Malfoy as well. I think he brings him across really well. And, I really like Rupert as Ron. I think Rupert’s really good as Ron.

Andrew: Well, that was fun. If you guys have an idea for a favorite thing that you want us to talk about here on the show, e-mail it to fav – [laughs] er, not favorites – mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, and put it in the subject line “Favorites.”

PO Box

Ben: Excellent. Oh, and, another little update here before we finish up the show. It’s about the PO Box.

Andrew: Oooh.

Ben: Remember, please send in your things to MuggleCast, PO Box 223, Moundridge, Kansas, 67107. I’d also like to thank Kelazma, who responded very generously to my request for power bars, and sent a box of about fifty billion bazillion of them.

Dueling Club

Andrew: Now let’s do a Dueling Club, and then we’ll – Jamie will enlighten us with his latest British Joke of the Day. Dueling Club we’re going to do a little different this week. This one was actually sent in by Brian, 17, from Houston, Texas. This was sent in about a month ago, but we’ve sort of put the Dueling Club on hiatus since then, but then we started getting e-mails, saying, “Hey, where’d it go?” Yeah, it’s been on the back burmer, cooked on…

Ben: Burmer. On the back burmer.

Andrew: On the back burner.

[Ben laughs]

Ben: Right, Andrew, on the back burmer?

Andrew: Burmer.

Ben: Oh yeah.

Andrew: They call them “burmers” in Jersey.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: All right. [laughs] Brian – Brian had an idea – Brian had an idea for the Dueling Club. Back burmer. And he said, he asks, “How about a 16-year-old Voldemort versus a 16-year-old Dumbledore? Thanks guys, love the show.” 16-year-old Voldemort versus 16-year-old Dumbledore.

Ben: I don’t think we know enough about Dumbledore when he was younger – well, hold on, hold on. He was a Triwizard champion, isn’t that right?

Laura: I don’t think that was ever said, but we know that he did things, during his OWLs or NEWTs or something…

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: …that the instructors had never seen before.

Ben: Yeah, that – that’s what I meant.

Laura: One of them was talking about that.

Ben: Disregard the comment about the Triwizard champion. But, yeah, that’s true. Since he was so well-accomplished, I don’t know. But then again, at the same time, Voldemort…

Laura: I don’t know.

Ben: …was able to create Horcruxes when he was around that age.

Laura: I think I’d have to go with Dumbledore, just because he’s so much more open-minded, and that seems to be…

Ben: Voldemort’s weakness.

Laura: …one of Voldemort’s weaknesses, yeah.

Ben: And actually, technically, there wasn’t a 16-year-old Voldemort. He was Tom Riddle. Oooh.

Jamie: Ahhh. Clever.

Ben: Got you there.

Andrew: Yeah, well, all right then 16-year-old Tom Riddle.

Ben: I don’t know. I think Tom Riddle – I don’t know who was more advanced at the time.

Jamie: Well, I think Dumbledore would be more advanced.

Ben: I think that’d be interesting to see.

Andrew: You got to get closer to the mike.

Jamie: Oh, okay, sorry.

Andrew: You dropped out a lot.

Jamie: Dumbledore was more advanced.

Andrew: Say it again.

Jamie: I think Dumbledore was more advanced.

Ben: Ehhh.

Jamie: He just, he knew more actual magic than – whereas Voldemort, I think, was more interested in the theory so he could get more powerful when he left school.

Andrew: All right, so thanks Brian for that Dueling Club submission, and if you have any of your own that you’d like to send in – because we’re all about taking your thoughts and ideas and suggestions, and putting them into the show. So you can e-mail whatever you want to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Jamie’s British Joke Of The Day

Andrew: Now it’s time for Jamie’s British Joke of the Day, which cannot receive submissions. This is straight out of Jamie’s brilliant head.

Jamie: There’s a guy called Merv, and he was in a really bad accident at work. And he fell through a floor tile, and he ripped off both of his ears, okay? And he was permanently disfigured. So he settled with the company he was working for, for a large sum of money, and then he went on his way. And one day he decided to invest his money in a growing telecom business called Plexus Communications. After weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright, but after signing on the dotted line, he realized he knew nothing about running such a business, and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day, he had set up three interviews. The first guy was amazing, he knew everything he needed to, and was very interesting. At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And the gentleman answered, “Why yes, I couldn’t help but notice you have no ears.” Merv got very angry and threw him out. Second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. He asked her the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And she replied, “Well, you have no ears.” Merv, again was very upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of the three. It was with a very young man, he was fresh out of college. He was smart, he was handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Merv was anxious [laughing], and went to ask the young man the same question, “Do you notice anything different about me?” And to his surprise, the young man answered, “Yes, you wear contact lenses.” [laughing very hard] Merv was shocked and said… [still laughing] Sorry. Merv was shocked and said, “What an incredibly observant young man, how in the world did you know that?” The young man fell off his stool – er, fell off his chair, laughing hysterically, and replied, “Well it’s pretty hard to wear glasses without ears.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It sounded like I was reading that straight off I may well have been.


Andrew: All right, so Jamie, before we wrap things up, we actually have one other announcement relating to MuggleCast, and how cool you are, and like, all that, so…

Jamie: Well, everyone should have heard it if they’ve been checking the site already, but it is a LIVE podcast, taking place at Collectormania 9 in the UK, on April the 29th, which is in a couple of weeks. We should be talking to Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory), James and Oliver Phelps, and some other Harry Potter stars, hopefully, who aren’t confirmed yet. And, in addition to that, we are, as you should know, holding a competition to win a place on the podcast, and you can meet the stars beforehand, and appear on the podcast panel and speak to them, and ask them questions, and all that kind of thing – all that kind of thing. And, in addition, you get a gold pass to Collectormania, which is worth £175, which gets you – which lets you join the back of any guest cue to get autographs, you can go backstage, and you get a big goody bag, with loads of autographs and stuff at the end. So, please see the site for further details…

Kevin: Wow.

Jamie: …on how to win. Thank you and goodbye.

Ben: Yay.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That is a great prize. [laughs] It’ll be – it’ll be in the show notes, there’ll be a link there to all the information that you need, and that podcast will be recorded, and will be going up on MuggleCast, it’ll be going up on the MuggleCast feed, so we’re really looking forward to that. When is it?

Jamie: That is in a couple of weeks, April 29th.

Andrew: The 29th, so we’ll have it up – it’ll probably be the May 6th show.

Jamie: Or something like that, yeah.

Andrew: Cool. I like it. Thank you, Jamie, and that does wrap up MuggleCast 35. Thanks everyone for listening. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen [whispers] dot com.

Jamie: And I am Jamie Lawrence and Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: Laura can be found at, I can be found at andrewsimz, thats with a “z,” dot com, Jamie Lawrence can be found at dot com. Good night everybody! [laughs]


[Music starts]

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters, this is Jessica from Brigham Young University in Utah. I just wanted to say that no matter what PotterCast says, you are the truly best Harry Potter podcast ever. And Jamie, I love your accent, keep talking, man. All right, I’ll talk to you later. Bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast boys, and Laura, this is Maria from Ottawa, Canada, and I just wanted to say I love your show, you guys just make me laugh so much. So keep up the good work. Okay, bye!

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast, this is Chelsea from Massachusetts, I’m 16 years old, and I’m just calling to say that I love MuggleCast. I recently had the flu, and I listened to your show every single day, and you guys made me laugh a lot. And, also, when my teacher was rude, so – me and my class – made us stay after school, after I came home, you made my day feel like I just went to the moon and back, so, thanks a lot MuggleCast. Love your show. Bye!

[Audio]: Hi MuggleCast, this is Kacia from Canada. I just wanted to let you guys know that I really love your show. I want to thank you guys for keeping Harry Potter alive in our hearts and giving us things to discuss in between the books and the movies. Anyways, MuggleCast and MuggleNet rock! Bye!

[Audio]: Dear Ben, I freaking love you, I think we should get married like, right now. Okay, thanks. Love, Hannah from California. Bye!

[Audio]: Hi, this is Kelsey from Ohio, and I just got done recording iMuggle 11. I just wanted to let you know how great I think your show is, and how much all of us fans appreciate what you give back to us. So, thanks for keeping this show nice, and we love it! Bye!

[Music ends]


Jamie: Oh yes, so… Hey Ben, hey Ben, I have to go – I have to go in about half an hour, because I’ve got to play violin in orchestra. I haven’t ever played the violin before, but I just hope I’m a natural.

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Andrew: All right, the joke’s old now, the joke’s old.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Let’s try to stay on-topic and get it done in another half hour.

Show Us Your Character

Andrew: There’s a character in all of us, and now you can share your unique character with the world at Join now, and begin uploading you videos, photos, and your own profile. You can share a hidden talent, show off your celebrity impersonation, or give the Show Us Your Character community a glimpse into your life. Chat, and interact with thousands of other members, and get to know some of the characters of the USA. You’ve got what it takes to be a star. Enter the 2006 Show Us Your Character contest to find out if you’re America’s most unique character, and you can win a chance to be featured on the computer screen, the TV screen, and even the big screen. Enter now at, by clicking on “Competitions” at the left.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Martina, Rhiannon, Roni, and Sarah