Transcript #57

MuggleCast 57 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew: Four weeks late but as promised, MuggleCast 57 is ready for your listening pleasure: Recorded September 18th, 2006. Once you hear the show, you’ll understand why we wanted to keep it as number 57. Granted, the show is a bit of a mess, [show intro music in background] especially at the end. We had some major audio issues that we tried to work out as best as possible, but we hope you’ll still enjoy the show even if it is a little outdated.

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Ben: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Andrew: What?

Ben: Breaking news.

Andrew: Huh?

Ben: An E-coli spinach scare increases to 21 states.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: That’s quite a lot.

Kevin: Wow.

Ben: So, Popeye, beware.

[Jamie starts humming Popeye theme song]

Kevin: Watch those salads.

Ben: A Douglas county Nebraska resident was sickened by this strain of bacteria.

[Jamie stops humming Popeye theme song]

Ben: There have been 111 people sick and one person has died.

Andrew: This is kind of a depressing way to start the show.

Jamie: All from spinach?

Ben: I know.

Kevin: It is a pretty depressing way to start the show.

Ben: All from spinach.

Jamie: Bluto is just going to just kick Popeye’s butt now.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Because he’s not going to have any spinach.

Ben: [laughs] It’s all infected with E-coli.

Jamie: [laughs] It is.

Ben: So, you heard it here first, MuggleCast: We save lives. Don’t eat spinach.

Jamie: Unless you’re Popeye.

Ben: Stay away! Unless you’re Popeye. [laughs]

Andrew: What about pickles? Do pickles have E-coli in them?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: They’re green, too, and they taste bad.

Ben: I think pickles are safe, Andrew.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Ben: Pickles are safe.

Andrew: Good.

Jamie: That would suck, though, if we sort of said that word and people all bought pickles to send and we found out that…

Andrew: Yeah. Spinach, spinach, spinach! It’s our new tagline!

Jamie: …touching pickles cause….

Kevin: Cancer.

Jamie: Yeah. A specific skin disease or something.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I couldn’t sleep at night with that on my conscience, I must admit.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: That’s pretty funny.

Kevin: I don’t think you’d have a problem, Jamie.

Jamie: No, I think I would. Seriously. I really do think I would.

Andrew: Welcome, everyone, to the show. As you can see we’re off to a great start already. This is going to be all about spinach.

Ben: Mhm. [laughs]

Andrew: We decided Harry Potter…

Ben: We’re done.

Andrew: …take a week off. This is 57. You know, 56 shows under our belt. It’s time, it’s time, it’s time, Micah, for you to update us…

Ben: We’re almost senior citizens.

Andrew: [laughs] …with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Um, Andrew? This is a missing episode. There isn’t any news. So, that’s all the news, wink wink, for this September 18th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Welcome Back, Kevin!

Andrew: Okay. Thank you, Micah. Guys, you know, it struck me the other day.

Kevin: What struck you?

Andrew: We rely too much on… Oh by the way, by the way, how could we go any further? Kevin Steck, welcome back to the show!

Kevin: Yeah, its been awhile.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Thanks, Andrew. I have really missed my presence on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: How long has it been, Kevin?

Kevin: What, six weeks now?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At least four weeks. Something like that.

Andrew: Four weeks? That’s it?

Jamie: It’s been a long time.

Kevin: I think it’s longer than that.

Andrew: Yeah, I think it was longer than that.

Jamie: Have you lost your touch yet, Kevin?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] It’s been a 100 years or nothing. No.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Kevin, where have you been?

Kevin: School. School started.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] At a wedding. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: At weddings. It was a wedding one week, wasn’t it?

Ben: [laughs] Kevin and the ladies.

Kevin: I know. I only had three of them this summer.

[Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Kevin couldn’t go to his own wedding because he had a wedding to go to.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Isn’t that right, Kevin? [laughs]

Kevin: Right.

Ben: We missed you, buddy.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We have. Welcome back, Kevin.

Andrew: We missed your voice, we missed your technical insight…

Jamie: Jokes.

Andrew: Missed everything about you, so welcome back.

MuggleCast on MySpace and Facebook

Andrew: Anyway, it struck me the other day: We rely too much on MuggleNet to promote the show.

Ben: Oh, really?

Andrew: I think so, because look at communities like MySpace. MySpace has 50 million people.

Jamie: Actually, I think it can have more than that now.

Andrew: MuggleCast – or MuggleNet – only gets 25 million. We are missing half of the MySpace audience.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: That’s huge. Just imagine how many Harry Potter visitors are on MySpace.

Ben: I know.

Andrew: So, this is the reason why we have created a MuggleCast MySpace: to help promote the show, get the word out, and get you guys interacting with each other. So, visit or just go to for a link, and join up, help promote the show, and it’s going to be pretty neat-o. We already got a lot of friend requests. It’s pretty cool seeing pictures of everybody, because remember you’re an attractive bunch!

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: And we also got a Facebook group. You can join in. This is all to help promote the show and you know…

Jamie: Yeah, that’s really good, Andrew. That’s a good one, that one. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Ummm.

Kevin: Allow stalkers to enter our world.

Andrew: I’m doing this hand motion right now, but I can’t put my – forget it.

Jamie: This is good stuff. This is good stuff

Andrew: Forget it, I’m done. I am done. Anyway…

Kevin: Go post a video of the hand motions.

Announcement: The 60-inch Subway Challenge

Andrew: Ben and Jamie, you guys got an announcement.

Jamie: We do.

Ben: A major announcement.

Jamie: Okay, it kind of… I think it started one day when I was hungry in the morning and I went to Subway and I got a 12-inch Subway melt and a 12-inch tuna for later on, so I could eat it later. So, I came home, I had the melt, then about four hours later or something like that, I had the tuna thing. And I got online and said to Ben, “Ben, I’ve just had 24 inches in one day, don’t you think that’s impressive?” Ben then made a comment back to me, “It’s okay, but I’ve had 36.” Now, we always want to go one better than, you know, what we’ve done. So…

Ben: Yeah, of course. Everything’s a competition with us. So… [laughs]

Jamie: Exactly, yes. We thought, let’s go to 48, but of course, why go to 48, if you can go to 60? So, that’s our challenge for California. We’re going to do the 60-inch Subway Challenge.

Ben: Each of us.

Jamie: Hopefully, this is going to increase… Yeah, yeah, each of us. Hopefully, this is going to increase by 12 inches every time we go on…

Ben: One of these trips.

Jamie: …one of these trips. So, if we’re still doing live Podcasts in 2020, we will be doing the 1,024-inch Challenge…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: …which could get a little bit difficult by then, but we could be more experienced. So, and Ben, are we going to record it and do everything so we can get it online?

Ben: Well, if Andrew brings his video camera, we will.

Jamie: Okay, Andrew bring your video camera.

Andrew: Okay. Let’s record it and we’ll put a video up. I don’t… You’re going to eat, what, four, five different times of the day?

Jamie: It’s a… Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Five times in one day.

Jamie: We’re going to do it in one…

Kevin: Oh, it’s not in one sitting?

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: No.

Kevin: Awww.

Ben: That would be kind of hard.

Jamie: Yes, Kevin, yes. We’ll eat 60 inches in one…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t even think Jamie is 60 inches tall.

Kevin: I think it would be impressive.

Andrew: I don’t think he’d be able to…

Ben: I don’t know, I don’t think Jamie could handle it. That’s the problem.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, Ben, and you could? You’re going to have 60 inches of Subway?

Ben: Well, see, another thing – this reminds me. This is definitely going to be a daunting task. The other day I failed at a similar challenge in my…

Jamie: What was it?

Ben: …pre-calc class. I bet the teacher…

Kevin: A prize-getter.

Ben: …I could drink four cans of soda in…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …one minute and…

Jamie: Clearly, you can’t do that.

Kevin: Oh, geez. Yeah.

Ben: No, hold on, hold on. I got three down in forty seconds.

Jamie: That’s not bad at all.

Ben: And I took a look at that Dr. Pepper and I about passed out and…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: …then I went to the sink and I threw up. So…

Jamie: [laughs] Awesome.

Ben: You know what? In California we’ll go for four in a minute. We’ll get a video of that, too. We’ll put it up on YouTube.

Andrew: That sounds fun.

Ben: Four cans of soda.

Jamie: What, four 60-inch Subways in a minute?

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] No, four cans of soda.

Jamie: Now that would be impressive.

Kevin: I would rather see a gallon of milk in five minutes.

Ben: An hour – it’s impossible.

Micah: Wait, Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah?

Micah: They have Subways in England?

Jamie: They do. But, unfortunately, I can’t set up a webcam linked to Ben’s Subway, so I could do mine and he can do his so, in a way, it’s in California.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: No, I’m just surprised fast food chains existed there.

Andrew: How about we make a poll on and let people decide who will win the competition.

Jamie: No, because clearly Ben is going to win it.

Andrew: Well, then why are you in it?

Jamie: No, no. It isn’t a competition, it’s a competition generally just to do 60 inches in one day.

Andrew: Oh, I thought it was you guys versus each other. Oh, all right.

Jamie: No, no, no, no. Basically, we’re going to space it out and have one at, sort of, 8 AM, one at 11 AM, one at 3 PM, one at… And just go on like that and kind of space it out. So, it should be fun and we’ll put it online, as well.

Leaky Mug Live in California

Andrew: Moving along, Leaky Mug Live in California – it is only four days away from today. And we’re pretending like today…

Jamie: No it’s not.

Andrew: …is Sunday…

Jamie: Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: …the 24th. It’s only four days away. Hey, guys, we’re in England now. I mean, California.

Jamie: Oh, we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: It’s been pretty cool, hasn’t it? It’s been fun. Yeah.

Ben: [sings] California.

Kevin: We’re all having a blast.

Andrew: Sunny weather…

Jamie: I’ve had a blast so far, yeah.

Kevin: Yep.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Leaky Mug Live in California, September 28th at 7 PM at the Borders in Westwood. It’s going to be a ton of fun.

Jamie: [raps the “ Fresh Prince of Bellaire” theme song] West Philadelphia, born and raised, in the playground where I would spend most of my days. Sorry.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s going to be a ton of fun and we’re looking forward to meeting everyone. If you’re in California, if you’re anywhere on the West Coast, just come out. It’s a quick drive.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere in the world, come out.

Ben: Okay, California is the west coast, Andrew.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah!

Andrew: Well, the mid-west or the west.

Ben: Yeah, so…

Andrew: Come out to California.

Jamie: If you’re anywhere, if you’re anywhere, come and see us, please.

Andrew: Yeah. If you’re in China.

Jamie: If you’re China, if you’re in Australia…

Andrew: Come out, it’s going to be a lot of fun. We’re probably not doing another live Podcast for a while, so this is your last, well…

Ben: This is the Leaky Mug Farewell Tour.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Don’t tell people that. Like those bands do; they always come back.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah. We’ll re-group after awhile

Listener Rebuttal: Correction on Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: Moving along, Listener Rebuttals this week. First, we start off with a correction. We got tons of feedback on this. I know, we’re sorry.

Ben: We screwed up.

Andrew: James inherited the Invisibility Cloak…

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: …from his father, not his mother, like we wanted – speculated. This came from an AOL interview that JK Rowling did back in October, 2000.

Jamie: I think what Andrew’s trying to say, in not so many words, is that we got it completely, completely wrong.

Andrew: Yeah, we just didn’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. We can’t, you know?

Andrew: So, there you go.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling

Andrew: Moving on to emails now, Holly, 17, of North Bay. Where’s North

Jamie: A bay that’s in the north.

Ben: Probably New Jersey.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it is, yeah.

Andrew: Kevin, I got the IP address. Trace this for me while I…

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Kevin!

Jamie: Just get Kevin to do it and in two seconds we’ll have a full match on…

Kevin: Oh do you want me to?

Andrew: Yes. It’s 69…

Kevin: Hold on one sec, let me…

Ben: Don’t say it out loud. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, don’t.

Andrew: I’m going to edit it out. I’m going to edit it out! 69.159…

Jamie: Hey, Ben, if you give Kevin the IP address in two minutes…

Kevin: Dot what? What was the last…

Andrew: Dot 2.

Jamie: …you have a full plan of their house, when they were born, what they eat for breakfast.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: He’s that good.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: This rebuttal concerns the homeschooling discussion we had last week: Wait a second: I’m listening to MuggleCast #56, and Jamie’s trying to argue that you can’t teach yourself Calculus. Well, I’m in first year university, and my Calculus teacher doesn’t speak English (his Russian accent is really, really, really, really, thick to the point we can’t understand a word).

Jamie: That’s pretty thick.

Andrew: So we (i.e. everyone in my class) can’t learn Calculus from anyone else. So I (and everyone else) have to teach myself Calculus from the textbook and I’m learning it by myself.

Kevin: Oh, that sucks.

Andrew: This is the same as my Discrete Math class (I’m a math major), and it’s really complex math, and my teacher doesn’t speak English, so I’m teaching it to myself. We don’t have a choice! We have to teach it to ourselves. So, if Hogwarts was shut down, it would be just like having a teacher who doesn’t speak English, you’re pretty much on your own. We can do it! So, wizards and witches can, too!

To a point.

Jamie: Didn’t I argue that you could?

Andrew: Yeah, I think she meant Ben.

Jamie: Okay, Ben.

Ben: Yeah, but no, I still completely disagree. You’re not going to get…

Andrew: Hold on, hold on…

Jamie: Ben…

Andrew: Hold on. Let’s not start this again. Let’s not start this again.

[Everyone talking over each other]

Ben: Listen. Listen. Shut up. Let me speak, Kevin.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: She’s not going to be able to teach herself Calculus as quickly or as
good as if she had an instructor.

Andrew: That’s a fair point.

Kevin: Einstein did it.

Ben: Oh yeah, and Einstein is the average college student.

Andrew: Steve…

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: But you can’t speak for the person writing in.

Jamie: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Two

Andrew: Steve Danison, 18, from Albany, NY also writes about homeschooling.

Jamie: But we haven’t finished. [laughs] Sorry.

Andrew: Well, it’s the same. I do not believe home schooling is an option because in order to be homeschooled, the students would have to be allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts, which we know is not allowed. Okay?

I believe if Hogwarts is closed, there will be no schooling of any sorts, unless the students were to be sent to another school, which is unlikely. So, yeah.

That’s a good point, Ben. Can’t argue with that one.

Jamie: But, but…

Micah: I can.

Kevin: I think an exception would be made.

Jamie: They could change it, though.

Kevin: Yeah.

Micah: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: They could change it, but at the current time, right now…

Ben: In time of war they’re going to change it. That’s true, also.

Kevin: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Homeschooling Part Three

Andrew: Darren, 39, from Columbus, Ohio also writes about homeschooling:
The ability to learn without teachers does depend on the student.
Examples: Newton invented Calculus. No one taught him. Number two: Hermione
performed several spells before the first year. Number three: Hermione made
the Polyjuice Potion long before it was taught. Number four: Fred and George created the swap, which was new magic. Number five: Marauder’s Map, not something that would be taught. Number six: Horcrux, who taught Voldy to split his soul?

Jamie: Slughorn, Slughorn, Slughorn.

Andrew: In the end we take what we know and expand on it. This is learning without teachers.

Jamie: This is why…

Ben: Yes, I know, I know. And he makes a good point. But I’m saying you have to
establish a base. When you have first years that are going in there, they
have to actually have some basis for learning, they can’t just be able to
jump straight into advanced magic, they have to have…

Jamie: But, Ben…

Ben: …established the building blocks.

Jamie: This is why the best students are always the people who go off and
read for themselves and learn themselves on top of everything they do. I’m not saying that – you’re right that you need a base, which is why you couldn’t teach yourself at Kindergarten, you know, because you need somebody who can teach you the basics, but once you’re there you can build on it, and so I think they could do that at wizarding school. [laughs] That sounded so bad. What a weak argument.

Ben: Yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: That was terrible!

Name Intros: A Little Late

Andrew: I just realized we never did our name intros.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: The show never began.

Kevin: Oh well, they know who we are.

Andrew: Start, rewind. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Listener Rebuttal: Lily’s Invisibility Cloak?

Andrew: All right, now that we got that out of the way, next rebuttal, Jamie? [laughs]

Jamie: It’s from Amy, 24, from Durham, but not the Durham I go to. And I…

Andrew: Awww, I got excited for a second.

Jamie: So did I, so did I. We can meet up.

Ben: Do you mean that second rate UK university?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Oooh.

Jamie: Yes, thank you, Benjamin, thank you, Benjamin. Ben, remind me how much you pay for college each year. Go on, just tell me. Just tell me.

Ben: I am not in college yet, but it will be pretty expensive.

Jamie: Ben, you will be in college. Oh, right.

Ben: Well then, I can think how cheap your second rate education is.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It’s better than your education.

Ben: Ooo…

Kevin: That’s why Stephen Hawking is a teacher at Oxford.

Jamie: He is.

Kevin: He is.

Jamie: Actually, he isn’t. Well, he was at Cambridge.

Kevin: Oh wait, is he?

Ben: I’m sorry, guys.

Kevin: Get your facts right. Get your facts right.

Kevin: Oh, you’re right.

Andrew: An e-mail…

Ben: Us dumb Americans. Dumb Americans.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh yeah, how can I get that wrong?

Jamie: Kevin. Kevin, Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge. Get it right. Get it right. Can we get back to this, or are we just going to dwell on this?

Andrew: Yeah, go.

Jamie: On Ben’s second rate education, not mine.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Okay. This is Amy, 24, from Durham, North Carolina. She says: Hi, I’ve been listening to your show for some weeks now but finally decided to send in a comment today. In your discussion about James’ cloak (in 56), you touched on the point that the cloak might be Lily’s (and refuted it later but not completely). I think that the cloak cannot belong to Lily, because Dumbledore said that the cloak belonged to James and as we all know, Dumbledore was as precise in what he says.

Andrew: And Jo proved us wrong.

Ben: Yeah, we already got owned on this one.

Jamie: Yeah, we did. Well, why don’t we just be owned again since we did screw up. Come on.

Andrew: The point of this rebuttal is the last two paragraphs. PS.

Jamie: Okay. Also, the mundane reason (as you mentioned) why Dumbledore had the cloak can be that James left it with him to be used by the Order (given the fact that cloaks are rare), and Dumbledore could not return it back to the Potters before they died because he did not know who the Secret-Keeper was. Given Dumbledore’s role in safeguarding the Potters, and Wormtail’s character, I think there was very little time lost between his being Secret-Keeper and Voldemort arriving at the Potters’ doorstep. Dumbledore could not have also been present at the time of the Potters’ death, as apart from the fact that he could not have just stood by, he would also need to have known who was the Secret-Keeper for that. He would have been told in some format directly by Wormtail, and then he could have given the evidence against Sirius later.

Andrew: [correcting Jamie] Not have.

Jamie: What do you guys think?

Andrew: He could not have.

Jamie: Sorry? Oh yeah, “and he could not have given the evidence against Sirius later.”

Andrew: I think that’s a very interesting theory.

Jamie: You didn’t hear a word?

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: No. I read it. That’s why it’s in there.

Jamie: After all I said Andrew, you just thought you’d say that?

Andrew: No. I think it’s an interesting theory.

Jamie: Anyone else?

Andrew: That’s all I had to say. [laughs]

Jamie: Anymore slightly more detailed comments? [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No?

Andrew: Is that bad? [laughs]

Jamie: No, that was excellent. Good. Excellent. Well done, everyone. Well done, everyone.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: The discussion this week is clearly up to scratch as usual.

Andrew: Well, you usually have something to add.

Jamie: Well, I was reading it.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: I know. Go ahead, read the next one.

Listener Rebuttal: Dumbledore Gave The Cloak to Hagrid?

Jamie: Okay. Well, sorry, Amy. No one has any comments at all, which is bad. Okay, this is from Vanessa, 25, from California. Hope you’re coming to the podcast.

I wonder if Dumbledore gave the Cloak to Hagrid to use, perhaps to “overhear” Wormtail giving access to Godric’s Hollow, because he had to know the secret location to go in and rescue Harry.

That brings up an interesting point.

Ben: Is the Cloak even big enough to fit Hagrid, though? [laughs]

Jamie: No, no. [laughs]

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Jamie: It would cover, like, one hand or something. Okay, that does bring up an interesting point, though. If you hear somebody telling somebody the location, do you know it, because they weren’t actually telling you and, apparently, you have to be told. It has to be a conscience effort on the part of the Secret Keeper to tell you the location. So, but anyway:

Obviously, Sirius’ motorcycle couldn’t be hidden with the Cloak along with Hagrid, and it’s almost too much to consider it could even cover Hagrid…

There you go!

…alone except that Harry, Ron, and Hermione can all fit underneath it together. The only problem with this is, Dumbledore always thought the Secret Keeper had been Sirius all the way until Prisoner of Azkaban. If Hagrid knew who the Secret Keeper was, wouldn’t he have passed that information along?

Anyone have any comments?

Ben: Of course he would’ve.

Jamie: Assuming he knew, of course.

Ben: Yeah, but I think you can’t…

Jamie: You can’t assume that he knew.

Ben: Yeah. I don’t know.

Micah: Well, I think it goes back to exactly what she said in terms of him having in his possession at the time that James died.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: I think its more important that he had it physically on him in some capacity when the event took place. Like, I’m not saying that he’s responsible in any way for what happened, but it makes it seem like, almost, Dumbledore shouldn’t have had it in his possession at that time, that it should have been used for something else.

Andrew: Hmmm.

Jamie: Hmmm. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, that sounds right. Someone else read the next one.

Listener Rebuttal: Petunia and the Invisibility Cloak

Andrew: This leads into our main discussion, which is why we have it in here. Sort of leads in. Evelyn, 41, of Woodstock, Canada, eh?, talks about – also talks about the Invisibility Cloak.

Regarding the Invisibility Cloak, I believe it is because of Petunia that Dumbledore has the Cloak. Petunia, although she loathed the wizarding world, did love her sister. Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow…

Now, this is her theory: Petunia went to Godric’s Hollow on that fateful night to try and convince her sister to leave James and the wizarding world behind. When Voldemort shows up, James, or perhaps Lily, covers Petunia with the Cloak, since she has no magical means to protect herself. Petunia watches in horror as first James, then Lily are killed. She also observes the curse which backfired on Voldemort and watches him flee, close to death. A short while later, Snape (who of course is one of the good guys) shows up to try to warn the Potters that they are in danger (having extracted this information from the traitor, Wormtail). Obviously he was too late, but Petunia recounts exactly what happened. Together, Snape and Petunia retell the dreadful tale to Dumbledore. It is because of Petunia’s eye-witness account of Snape trying to warn the Potters that Dumbledore trusts Snape. Dumbledore also took the invisibility cloak from Petunia and modified her memory so she has no recollection of these horrific events.”

Jamie: Can I just add that after this happened, Snape and Petunia lived happily ever after.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Until the end of time. And they’re still together.

[Andrew hums dramatically]

Jamie: That is very interesting though.

Kevin: Yeah it sounds pretty…

Andrew: Well, I thought…

Kevin: …possible.

Andrew: Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool.

Micah: It’s a good theory, but again it would go back to the fat that James or Lily had the Invisibility Cloak…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Micah: …in their possession. And she clearly states…

Jamie: And also…

Micah: …that Dumbledore does. Unless she’s talking more generically. That’s – I think that she needs to be more specific. Because at the time of his death could be a generic…

Jamie: Yeah, and also…

Micah: …period of time. As oppose to the specific event – sorry.

Jamie: Also… Oh, no, its fine. Also, how much did Petunia care about Lily?

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing because this is where her whole theory stems from. Now, according to this rebuttal, she says that Petunia did love her sister.

Kevin: Yeah, I don’t…

Andrew: Now, I don’t know if that is fact…

Kevin: Yeah, I think it’s just an assumption.

Andrew: …because I don’t remember really that. This is just part of her theory. However, as a sister, you would think you would always have underlying love for her. About her sister.

Jamie: Yeah, I guess but, she didn’t talk very highly of her, you know, normally. So, I don’t know.

Andrew: Well, not now. But I mean, I talk trash on my sister every single day.

Jamie: You still lover her don’t you Andrew?

Ben: You still think she’s hot.

[Andrew sighs in annoyance]

Jamie: Yeah [laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Andrew and Micah laughs]

Andrew: No, I don’t. And I never did say that. so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[Awkward pause].

Andrew: Oh, okay. “PS…I love your show and listen to it regularly. Today is my birthday and it would be a great birthday present to get a mention on air!!!! Although I already feel that this theory which just ‘fell into my head today’ is birthday present enough. Keep up the great work. It keeps all of us Harry Potter fans occupied while we not-so-patiently await Book Seven.”

So, Happy Birthday Evelyn of Canada.

Ben: [singing] Happy Birthday to you!

Main Discussion: Petunia Dursley

Andrew: And this does lead into our Main Discussion this week which is Petunia Dursley.

Jamie: But what about …

Andrew: A character…

Jamie: But what about Dumbledore’s will?

Andrew: I’m moving that because…

Jamie: That’s very funny though.

Andrew: …the rebuttal.

Jamie: Oh, right.

Andrew: What? The will? Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s quite funny.

Andrew: It’s clever.

Jamie: When are you reading it? You reading it later?

Andrew: After. After the discussion.

Jamie: Okay, cool.

Andrew: Character Discussion on Petunia Dursley; we haven’t done one of these in a while. Aunt Petunia: aged around her thirties or forties. Petunia is a tall and gaunt with blonde hair and an almost abnormally long neck. She has a long bony horse like fee with long teeth and large blue eyes. Petunia is nosey and likes to gossip. She has a shrill voice, and a brisk, snappish manner. She is an immaculate housekeeper and keeps her home (number four, Privet Drive) spotless. Petunia despises magic or abnormality in any form and likes to act as though the magical world does not exist. But there are some strange things going on with Petunia.

Jamie: There are.

Andrew: And that’s what we’re going to discuss today.

Micah: She sounds like quite a catch.

[Jamie and Andrew laughs]

Jamie: She does.

Andrew: Micah…

Jamie: I’d go on a date with her.

Andrew: …got a little thing for her?

Petunia The Squib

Micah: Yeah, All right. So, one of the biggest questions surrounding Aunt Petunia is, is she a Squib? And from JKR’s own website she said Aunt Petunia has never performed magic nor will she ever be able to do so. If Petunia…

Jamie: But she hasn’t said – sorry, sorry.

Micah: No, go ahead.

Jamie: I was going to say that she hasn’t specifically said that that she is a Squib though.

Ben: That she isn’t a Squib or she is.

Micah: That’s an interesting point.

Jamie: No, I mean, she has dodged the word basically…

Kevin: Yeah, she…

Jamie: On purpose it looks like. She says “she hasn’t ever performed magic nor will she be able to do so.”

Kevin: But a Squib can…

Jamie: That could be due to – that could be due to emotional trauma, you know, like when Tonks couldn’t transform herself after the death of Sirius. You know it could be that she’s never been able to perform magic because she hates the thought of being abnormal in her world, so she can’t, you know, bring herself to do it, and she won’t ever be able to do it because she won’t ever be able to get over the thought of being abnormal in her world. So, she could be completely magical but she just can’t do it.

Micah: But, I mean, that is almost the direct definition of a squib, if you look it up.

Jamie: No, no, no, no, I thought that a squib was somebody who was a non-magical person. So, with all their heart they could not perform magic.

Micah: Right, but, and JKR has specifically said she has never performed magic, nor will she ever be able to do so.

Jamie: No, but what I’m saying is that there is a difference between being magical and not being able to do magic and not actually, you know, having the requirements in yourself to do magic. Does that make sense, or not?

Kevin: I think it makes sense. I mean…

Ben: I don’t know.

Kevin: She can have, like, a magic background, but not be able to perform the actual magic.

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. You could have… It’s like this… It’s like… Okay, okay, this is a very weird…

Kevin: Analogy?

Jamie: Yeah, analogy, but say you have got roller skates on, okay? You are capable of roller skating, but you could be so scared of falling over that you could – you cannot do it and you won’t be able to do it because you can’t get over your fear. That’s different to somebody who doesn’t have roller skates on, so clearly could not ever roller skate because they don’t have the tools to roller skate.

Micah: Okay.

Jamie: Make of it what you will. Make of it what you will.

Micah: So, you’re saying it’s more of her own will that she’s not – never able to do it, as opposed to her…

Jamie: Yeah, precisely. But…

Andrew: But is she a witch or is she a Squib?

Jamie: I’m not saying that, but she could be magical though. JKR… That looks like she’s dodged the Squib issue, by saying that. You know she hasn’t actually said she is not a Squib, she’s saying that she hasn’t performed magic.

Micah: I think that if anything, it proves that she possibly could be a Squib. Doesn’t it?

Jamie: No, because it just says that she hasn’t performed magic and she won’t be able to perform magic, not that she does not have the ability to do magic.

Andrew: But that’s not the definition of Squib.

Jamie: No, I thought that a squib was a non-magical person. They cannot do…

Andrew: Born of Muggle or wizard parents.

Jamie: Yeah. Look at it like this, a wand does not perform spells. There’s something inside you that the wand acts as a catalyst for that causes the spell to come out, which is why you can do magic without a wand. If Petunia – sorry, if a Squib pointed a wand and learned all the spells in the world it wouldn’t matter because they don’t have that thing inside them that is put through the wand and turns into the spell, you know? It’s like that whereas – that’s a squib, whereas a person who just cannot do magic, perhaps due to emotional trauma, as I said, is somebody who does have that thing inside them, but is unable to channel it, for reasons of, I don’t know, you know? Emotion, morality, you know? Fear, something like that and that could be Petunia, instead of her being a Squib. I mean, I’m not saying she is like that, but it is a possibility, considering how Jo’s worded it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: No, I understand what you’re saying and Andrew just brought up the next part of it is, if Petunia were a Squib it would mean that her family was magical, but we’re told in fact that Lily was Muggle-born.

Jamie: Wait, so…

Andrew: So, okay, so that answers the question.

Micah: Well if JKR is telling us the truth. Which she…

Andrew: Of course she is. Well, why would she lie to us?

Jamie: Because she hates us.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: [In a sad voice] She wouldn’t do that to me, would she?

Jamie: So wait, you’d be saying that if she’s a squib her entire family would be wizards and witches?

Micah: Well, one of them would have to be.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: One of her parents would have to be.

Jamie: Yes, you’re right. Oh yeah. I don’t know. Yes, that’s true. But Lily was Muggle-born, right? So…

Andrew: But that can’t be…

Jamie: So, she couldn’t be a Squib.

Andrew: Yeah. Right, right. So…

Jamie: My theory holds some weight. Maybe?

What Is So Surprising About Petunia?

Micah: So, if she’s not a squib and she’s not a witch, what information are we going to learn about her in Book 7 that’s so revealing, so surprising?

Kevin: She’s half a house-elf.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It must be something that she knows.

Jamie: Of course it is.

Andrew: There must be some little factoid that she knows that she’ll have to tell Harry.

Ben: Well, she’s already – we’ve already seen that she has quite a bit of knowledge of the magical world that we didn’t know about, like with the Dementor and stuff. So…

Jamie: Oh yeah, precisely.

Ben: There’s more to Petunia than meets the eye. I think Jo said that actually.

Micah: She did, so to me that means there is more to her, as opposed to what she knows.

Jamie: Yeah, but she clearly does know something that, you know…

Ben: That’s – that we don’t know. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Wow, that’s a big step we’ve taken there, isn’t it?

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: That is a big revelation, yeah.

Jamie: One small step for MuggleCast, one giant leap for Harry Potter fans.

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing. That is why we included that rebuttal this week because she’s suggesting that Petunia actually was at Godric’s Hollow and she saw all this going down, and might connect the cloak.

Jamie: [sings] Down, down in an earlier round, And Sugar, we’re going down swinging.

Ben: I don’t think that’s true.

Andrew: Then what do you think is true, Ben?

Ben: I don’t think that made sense. If Dumbledore was given the cloak before James’ death by James, why would Petunia have it after he died?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know about that. But, I don’t know.

Andrew: She sort of explained her theory, but nonetheless. All right, move along, Micah.

Ben: [sings] Move along.

Familial Love

Micah: All right, do you think that she has any type of feelings for Harry and did she love her sister? This kind of goes back to what we brought up before.

Andrew: Uhhh…

Ben: Harry/Petunia shippers.

[Awkward silence]

Jamie: Ugh. She clearly – I don’t think you can say that she is completely emotionless towards him. She’s got to feel something, and clearly when she says…

Kevin: I think she…

Andrew: Well, she sort of has to.

Ben: I think it’s a big facade because Vernon is around, you know?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Right, yeah.

Jamie: In Book Five when she says, “The boy has to stay…”

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s clearly because of Dumbledore has told her about, but it just seems that there is something else there as well. She doesn’t want to turn him off into the streets like Vernon does. She hasn’t ever been the person who says, “Out, out, get out.” She’s always just been hiding behind her husband.

Andrew: I think the problem is that she can’t.

Jamie: Why? Because of the – yeah.

Andrew: Because of Dumbledore’s “remember my last”, and all that, and the Dursley house having some sort of magical, staying close to the bloodline, and all that. I just don’t think she can kick him out.

Jamie: Oh yeah, I think that’s probably right.

Andrew: And obviously, she had to convince Vernon somehow. There must have been more to it than just, “Vernon, he stays.”

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Isn’t that what she said in Order of the Phoenix?

Jamie: Yeah, she did, yeah.

Andrew: As for loving Lily, you have to have some sort of love for your sister.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: She’s family.

Kevin: She can be as mad as possible with her, but she still has to have some sort of emotion towards her sister.

Andrew: Grow up, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely.

Petunia’s Magical Knowledge

Micah: Okay, so we’ve seen in the past books that she does have some knowledge of the magical world. Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort and him coming back come from? Would she really have spent enough time around James and Lily to know about this stuff?

Kevin: Well, I was thinking that Lily was going to Hogwarts as well. So, she came home on the summers.

Ben: Well actually in Book Five we saw – Petunia said that she heard Lily say it to him, and him was Harry’s father. So, that’s how she found out about the Dementors. So, it’s likely that she could have acquired some more information simply by overhearing it.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. I mean, Lily was home every summer, so you would assume that she would snoop a bit. You know?

Jamie: Yeah, she must have heard them, or picked up a book or something.

Andrew: Right. Yeah. She had to be curious. Of you hated… Yeah. If you hated this whole magical ability so much, you have to be curious as to learn more about it.

Jamie: Yeah. Didn’t George Washington say, “We’re always curious about the things we hate”?

Andrew: Probably.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I just made that up.

Andrew: I don’t think there’s anything else to add to that. [aside to self] Where does her knowledge of things such as Dementors and the severity of Voldemort’s return come from?

Jamie: No, no. I think that’s about it.

Micah: As far as Voldemort, I think she’s pretty aware of the fact that he killed her sister and James.

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah, she must have asked questions about that. She doesn’t just…

Micah: And not to mention, I’m sure, whatever was in Dumbledore’s letter…

Kevin: Yeah, and she had obvious contact with Dumbledore.

Petunia Seals The Magical Bond

Micah: …clearly. Okay, this is actually an interesting question. What does Jo mean by “never performing magic”? Clearly by providing her place of residence, she’s sealing the ancient magic that keeps Harry safe while he is under age. Is Jo being careful with her wording here, as she so often does?

Jamie: Haven’t we just discussed this?

Micah: Yeah, but I think…

Andrew: Yeah, we sort of did in the beginning.

Micah: The question goes more towards – she is in a way performing magic because she’s saying…

Jamie: Oh, well, we can get into a huge discussion here.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: No, because I was thinking, do you think this ancient magic, if you look at it kind of like one of the prophecies, okay? In the prophecies, a prophecy will only come true if, well, most prophecies, or some prophecies will only come true if under certain conditions in the prophecy are made. For example, the prophecy in Order of the Phoenix only came true because Voldemort only heard half of it and then marked Harry as an equal, thereby creating his own enemy. Now, it could be that Lily seals the magic – this ancient magic, just because she provides him residence. So, it could be in this spell – in this sort of incantation – the way this works it could be that Dumbledore creates this spell and he says that whatever and that this protection is given on Harry if so-and-so provides him a thing of welcome. So, it’s just a condition that she has to meet. It doesn’t require any magic, because she’s just fulfilling the terms of something else. She isn’t doing anything action, she’s being passive.

Micah: So she’s just part of the equation, that’s what you’re saying. Kevin?

Jamie: Exactly, yeah, I’m trying to say that. That is a much better succinct summary than my waffling on [laughs] about it when I didn’t actually say anything.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: So yeah, she’s just leading the ancient magical equation, but not performing any magic of her own, I think.

Petunia and Horcruxes

Andrew: I just keep thinking about, what could this big revelation be? Because we’ve sort of come to the conclusion that – and I just don’t understand how this will come into a big play in Book Seven. The only thing I can think of is that Aunt Petunia has something that’s going to help Harry discover the final Horcruxes, or final Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Maybe Petunia’s a Horcrux.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: She could be.

Andrew: So, Micah, you brought up last week that Jo is always very careful about her words. What do you think about this, the “never performing magic” line?

Micah: Well, I think Jamie was right before. You can interpret it two different ways. It’s either she chooses never to perform the magic, because she’s afraid of it, or she just doesn’t have the actual ability to do it. And I agree with him when he said that she’s more just part of the equation as far as the ancient magic is concerned. She doesn’t have the ability…

Jamie: Thanks, Micah.

Micah: …I don’t think to perform it. Yeah, no problem. [laughs]

Jamie: Your check’s in the post.

Dudley’s Greatest Fear

Micah: No problem. Now, this is something interesting. It kind of relates to Petunia. We’ve yet to really find out about Dudley’s greatest fear. We’re told we’ll find out about it in the final book. What possibly could he fear, and how do you guys think it relates to Aunt Petunia?

Ben: I don’t know. I hate to say this, but he grew up in one of those perfect childhoods, where it almost seems like he was molested.

Kevin: Awww…

Ben: That’s the only thing I can think of.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: I mean, in all honesty. What else could there be? He had a perfect life.

Jamie: No, he didn’t though. Well, he didn’t – he thinks he did. But as Dumbledore said in Half-Blood Prince, “at least you haven’t inflicted the damage that you’ve done to Dudley on Harry.” That kind of stuff, you know? So, perhaps there’s something that they’ve done to do something to him that would turn into his greatest fear. But, Abraham Lincoln did say, I think it was him, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. And he did actually say that. Perhaps he…

Ben: That was FDR. Not Lincoln.

Jamie: Okay, okay. Well, okay…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Well, at least I… At least I knew it was a president.

Andrew: I would think that his biggest fear is magic, is Harry casting a spell on him.

Jamie: That can’t be his biggest fear.

Kevin: No. Do you think…

Micah: No, I think…

Andrew: Why couldn’t he?

Jamie: If he looked into the Mirror of…

Ben: It had to be something inflicted by his parents.

Kevin: Do you think it’s… Do you think it’s possible that – I mean, Dudley has always had a hate of Harry, right? So, he knows that Harry is different in some way.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Where did he find this out? He probably found it out from Petunia. Is it possible that she told him something about Harry to make him hate/fear something about Harry, and that’s why he’s always been…

Jamie: But, he’s just scared of him…

Andrew: Well, I’m sure they…

Jamie: …isn’t he? I mean…

Andrew: Yeah, and they probably would’ve made something up, like, “He can kill you if you…”

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: I mean it’s true, but…

Jamie: Well, perhaps he’s scared of death, then.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: If he – if he gets scared whenever Harry points his wand in his face…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …it could be that he’s scared of being killed. Ben, I was trying not to laugh there, and you’ve just started it off. [in a disapproving tone] Gah, gah, gah. No, it could just be that Dudley is scared of death in general, and he thinks that because he doesn’t understand magic, whenever Harry points his wand in his face, he thinks he’s going to Avada Kedavra him and kill him.

Micah: What about his parents being in trouble? What about Petunia and Vernon possibly being attacked in some way?

Jamie: Well, I think he’s obviously extremely reliant on his parents, so that could be big as well.

Micah: Or, even along the lines of what Kevin was saying, possibly something that Petunia knows that maybe Dudley has an idea about getting out.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s…

Micah: And people finding out…

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Micah: …about Harry.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, perhaps.

Petunia and Sirius

Micah: Okay, this question kind of relates to what we talked about before in terms of her knowing more than she lets on, but it’s Vernon who seems to be shocked at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban when Harry informs him that Sirius is his godfather, not Petunia.

Ben: Well, it’s likely that Petunia already knew, then.

Jamie: Yeah, although – yeah. I think she probably did, because she must have been around when he was born. You know? And went to a christening and everything.

Micah: Sort of following up, did Petunia know Sirius? There are a lot of people out there who think that they knew each other pretty well, and it’s possible they even spent time together given that Lily was her sister and that Sirius was so close with James. And I’m sure that there were times where they all got together. I mean…

Jamie: They must have talked. It isn’t…

Andrew: Who? Petunia included?

Jamie: Huh? Well…

Andrew: Petunia included, Micah?

Petunia As A Child

Micah: Well, this kind of relates to the last point, what… [stumbles] what did Petunia do as a child? I mean, did she just hide whenever Lily had friends over? Because her parents, from what we’re told…

Andrew: Well…

Micah: …seem to be very welcoming to the whole idea of Lily being a witch.

Jamie: Yes. Yeah, they were. But…

Andrew: Her friends – her friends from Hogwarts?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because, well, when Petunia is explaining to Harry what happened to Lily in Book One, isn’t – doesn’t she say something like they…

Jamie: Came home…

Andrew: Oh, wait. No.

Jamie: She came home transfiguring frogs into stuff.

Andrew: No, I was going to say that she ran off to school and that was the last they saw of her, but actually she said, “They ran – Lily and that boy ran off and got married…”

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Andrew: “…and she never saw her again.” Never mind. Never mind. [sighs] I just can’t picture… I don’t see why that would go… Petunia would keep her distance.

Jamie: What? Oh, yeah. No, she would, but you know, when, I assume – how old were James and Lily when they got married, do you think, and had Harry?

Ben: Probably early twenties?

Jamie: Okay, well she must have… She can’t have not talked with them then. I mean, as a child, she was probably scared, but she, I mean, I assume that she’d observed niceties at that age and go to their wedding and, you know, speak to them and stuff, so I’m sure she talked to Sirius.

Micah: And I can’t remember, I just started rereading Prisoner of Azkaban, but I think when it’s on the TV that Sirius Black has gotten free from prison, she reacts in a very odd way. So…

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: …this all goes back to her knowing more than she lets on.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: It’s just a question of how does she get this information. Is it information that she had previously, or is she getting fed this information, somehow?

Andrew: She couldn’t have been getting – it couldn’t have been fed to her. She has no connections inside – inside Hogwarts, or any magical world.

Ben: Well, what about Arabella Figg? The neighbor that’s kept Harry…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …all these years. Well, actually, Petunia – no, but they… She said that Petunia and Vernon don’t know because they wouldn’t want her – him to spend time with her if they knew that he was going to be having a good time, so that wouldn’t make sense.

Jamie: I agree.

Andrew: I don’t know. I just… I just don’t think that she could have a source other than overhearing Lily and James.

Jamie: Yup. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup.

Last Days At Privet Drive

Micah: But I guess just to wrap it up real quick, it’s not even on here, what do you guys think is going to happen to her? Or even all of them as a whole?

Andrew: [laughs] I keep saying this. I just think she’s going to reveal something about Harry.

Ben: Yeah, she will.

Kevin: That’s got to be it.

Jamie: Yeah, she is.

Kevin: I don’t see anything happening to her, like, physically.

Micah: You don’t think the house is going to be attacked?

Kevin: I doubt it. No, I don’t see that happening. Why would they attack that – a house that they know Harry isn’t at?

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it would send a message…

Ben: Because…

Jamie: …it would cause them to tighten their security, and it wouldn’t actually solve anything at all. I just don’t…

Kevin: And the only… The only day they’d ever attack is the last day that the – I guess the enchantment…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Kevin: …is on, you know? Once he… But I don’t see Harry being there that day, so [laughs]

Jamie: No, yeah.

Kevin: …who cares?

Micah: But didn’t Dumbledore say in the conversation that he has to return?

Kevin: Well, he…

Andrew: Until he’s 17.

Jamie: Until he’s 17.

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: One more summer.

Kevin: See, that’s the thing.

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: But even then…

Ben: Even then, he’d only be there shortly.

Kevin: The day he turns 17 is the day he leaves, so…

Ben: Well, say he doesn’t have to go back because the protection doesn’t matter anymore.

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: Dumbledore said that when he knew… Well, actually, actually perhaps he did know that he was going to die then. You know, if he planned it all with Snape, perhaps he knew then that he was going to die, so he told Harry to come back. Actually, perhaps he told Harry to come back, knowing full well that Harry wouldn’t go back, and he’d search for the Horcruxes and everything. I don’t know.

Ben: I don’t know. I’m not quite sure why he would do that, but…

Jamie: It just seems that if he. If we assume by that point that he had arranged with Snape – assuming that Snape’s good, of course – if he’d arranged with Snape then that he was going to die by then, I don’t know why he’d tell Harry to go back to the Dursley’s for one more summer. Because, I mean, he’s going to have to find the Horcruxes at some point, which means he’s going to have to put himself in direct danger.

Kevin: He’s going to have to leave, yeah.

Jamie: Exactly. So, delaying it for one summer seems pointless.

Ben: Right, and I don’t understand why that last summer would matter anyways, because school gets out in June…

Jamie: I know why it is.

Ben: …and his birthday is July 31st. So…

Jamie: I know why that is.

Ben: …they only have two months, anyways.

Jamie: It’s so he can home school himself and teach himself more than…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …he can learn in school.

Micah: But that’s an interesting point, Jamie, that if he was planning everything out, it makes perfect sense that he would go and remind Petunia because he wouldn’t be there to do it himself in the end. So, Petunia still has a big question mark on her, but I think that’s the conclusion we came to. [laughs]

Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will

Andrew: Last week, I brought up to everyone, well, I asked everyone to send in what Dumbledore has on his will. Because, I mean, come on, the guy’s pretty – he’s pretty big. He’s got to have something drawn out for everyone, so we have some entries. I’m going to read one right now. It’s from John of PA. He lists them, the Top 10 Things on Dumbledore’s Will. [reads]:

10. Lemon drops to Severus Snape. God knows, he could be a little less sour;

9. Old boxes of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to Umbridge, wishing her the same fate;

8. The Pensieve I leave to Professor McGonagall, so someone has some sort of an understanding of what was going through my head. I’d leave it to Hagrid, but you know how free he is to share information;

7. All my books, I leave to Madame Pince’s restricted section so no one will ever be able to read them;

6. I leave my best mead to Professor Trelawney, so she doesn’t have to reek strictly of sherry;

5. I leave my ear muffs to Hagrid to go along with his umbrella;

4. To Ronald Weasley, I leave the first ever printed Chocolate Frog Card with my picture on it. Now you have seven of them;

3. For Hermione Granger, I leave all my gizmos and gadgets. You’re the only person who could ever possibly work them, anyway;

2. To Harry Potter, I leave Gaunt’s ring, just because I have nothing else to leave; and

1. To Dobby, I bequeath all my woolly socks.

Signed, Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore

Andrew: [finishes reading] And thank you, once again, to John from Pennsylvania.

MuggleCast’s Dating Service

Andrew: Moving on, as many people know, we like to help people out here on the show. Isn’t that right, Mr. Lawrence?

Jamie: We do.

Andrew: And we got this e-mail the other day, and we have to read it. Jamie, go for it.

Jamie: Okay, I will. Yeah, I will, yeah. So, this week, we have an e-mail from Aaron Nicholson, 15, from Nottingham, England, and he would like to ask one of our biggest fans, Sarah Bannister – Sarah, are you out there?

Andrew: [in girlish voice] Yes!

Jamie: He wants to ask if you will go out with him.

Andrew: [in girlish voice again] Yes, I will! Yaaay!

Jamie: Yeah, so please call him and tell him, “Yes,” because, you know, we don’t like unhappy relationships on this show. So, tell him yes…

Andrew: No way. Not at all.

Jamie: …that you’ve been waiting for him to ask you for years and years and years…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …and finally you can profess your undying love to him.

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: And you can both jog into the sunset, holding hands, living happily ever after…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: …while still listening to the show on your iPods, of course.

Andrew: Remember your roots.

Jamie: Because you can’t forget us, the people who brought you together. So…

Andrew: You’re right.

Jamie: Please, Sarah, say, “Yes.” Please, Sarah.

Jamie’s British Joke of the Day

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, you’ve also got a British Joke of the Day for us?

Jamie: I don’t have one. Oh, wait.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Yes, I do.

Andrew: Oh, good.

Jamie: Yes, I do. It isn’t really a joke, but…

Andrew: What?

Jamie: But before, I was trying to make a kettle, but I just couldn’t quite get a handle on it.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Voicemail – The Number Three

Andrew: Oh, that’s too bad. Let’s hit up the voice mails, and then we’ll get out of here. Here comes the first one, right now.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters! This is Nicole from Iowa City. I love the show, especially when Ben broadcasts [laughs] from weird places. I have a question for you guys: According to Dumbledore on page 426 of PoA, US edition, Trelawney has given two known prophecies. Both have concerned Voldemort, and that seems to be her area of specialty, so to speak. Throughout the books, Jo often uses three as a nice, round number, especially for magical events; for example, three Triwizard challenges, three times the Potters defied Voldemort, et cetera. Do you think it’s possible that Trelawney will give a third and final prophecy converting – concerning Voldemort and/or Harry? Just wanted to know what you guys thought. Bye!

Ben: I don’t think there’s going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Hmmm! Hmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

Ben: Oh I’m sorry, Jamie, but I don’t think there are going to be any more prophecies.

Jamie: Oh, Ben, you’re so negative!

Ben: I just don’t think there will be!

Kevin: Do you think there will be? Do you think we’ll actually see her in the seventh book a lot?

Jamie: Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her hopes! Kill her dreams!

Ben: I don’t think there’s a need for another prophecy.

Jamie: Apart from Prophecy 2007.

Kevin: Wait, when Harry was talking to Dumbledore, he – Dumbledore said he’s known her to give how many prophecies correctly? Was it two?

Jamie: You call yourself a fan, Kevin? Well done.

Ben: Yeah. [Laughs] Jamie’s in a bad mood; don’t mind him, Kevin.

Jamie: What’s the name of that guy who – uh, who’s in the books again? [laughs] What’s his name? Was it Harry?

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: I think? Henry, that’s it!

Ben: Henry.

Kevin: Anyway, so doesn’t that – including Harry’s prophecy that she told Harry – doesn’t that make three?

Jamie: No. No, it’s one where she predicted that Peter Pettigrew would rise up again and join Voldemort and the original prophecy that she…

Kevin: Oh, okay.

Jamie: …that she did in front of Dumbledore.

Micah: You can’t just bring a prophecy out of nowhere at the beginning of the book, and expect it to be fulfilled by the end, and…

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. That’s enough foreshadowing.

Micah: …I think we already have one prophecy left that needs to be fulfilled, so I don’t think there’s going to be another one.

Ben: Yeah, there’s too much going on for another prophecy.

Jamie: And also Book Seven is all about choice. You know, it’s stressed throughout the entire series, and now it’s going to be all about what Harry wants to do, what Voldemort wants to do, you know? They can’t just find one more and it changes everything, I think. I don’t know. It’s an interesting theory, though.

Harry’s Boggart

[Audio]: Hi, this is Andrew Evans from Miami, Florida. I was wondering: in the third book Harry’s Boggart was a Dementor, but since he can repel them now without trouble, I don’t think he would fear them anymore. So if he saw a Boggart now, what do you think he would see? Thanks. Bye.

Ben: I think he would see the death of his friends, you know?

Jamie: Yeah.

Kevin: Or Voldemort?

Jamie: Can you actually see those things?

Ben: With a Boggart he fears Voldemort dying? No, Voldemort’s not his worst fear.

Jamie: Exactly. He wouldn’t actually fear Voldemort, he’d fear what Voldemort, you know, could bring. It’s like…

Kevin: Could do, yeah, that’s true.

Jamie: Haven’t you always wondered? Do you honestly think…?

Kevin: Like the Mirror of Erised discussion.

Jamie: Yeah, but you know? Do you… It’s like I’ve always thought it was weird with Ron, the thing he fears absolutely the most is spiders. There has to be something he fears more, like, you know, emotional things, like being alone, or growing old and not having anyone to, you know?

Kevin: Ehhh… If you – if you have, like, a phobia, it’s some of the real most intense fear you can have.

Jamie: Oh okay, then.

Ben: I just think Ron seems a bit superficial, and that’s why his fear isn’t as deep.

Jamie: Well, there are other people as well. Who else? I mean, the moon is understandable for Lupin, but…

Micah: Yeah, but it’s possible it changes, though.

Kevin: There are people who are afraid of going on elevators. I mean, that’s their biggest fear; they can’t stand them. It’s just the physical and mental reaction they get to the situation.

Jamie: I guess so. I guess so. I just doubt that Harry’s would be Voldemort’s strength, you know?

Kevin: Yeah, that’s true. Yeah. I agree.

Jamie: But when Lupin says, after Harry says that he fears, you know, Dementors the most, he says that shows the thing you fear most is fear itself. Perhaps, you know, when he sees Dementors, he doesn’t actually – he doesn’t actually fear the thing attacking him, but he fears what they bring, so the memories that he has to relive.

Ben: So, maybe it still would be a Dementor.

Jamie: Yeah, I think it still would be. I don’t think he actually fears the thing, he fears what they can do. And…

Ben: Right, I just think… I think that it makes sense that the reason in Prisoner of Azkaban that Harry saw the Dementor wasn’t necessarily because he was freaked out by it when he saw it on the train.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: That may have had something to do with it, but it also has a deeper representation of him only fearing…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: Fear. Right.

Jamie: Concur.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That does do it for Episode 57 of MuggleCast. We are off to LA, but the week after that we will be back with Episode 58. Once again, I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Micah: And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: We will see you in two weeks.

Told you it was bad.