Transcript #84

MuggleCast 84 Transcript

Show Intro

[Audio]: What’s up, MuggleCast listeners? If you want to make an impact online, has what you need. Get your own dot-com domain name for as low as $1.99. Plus world class hosting, fast and easy website builders and much more. Plus, as a listener of MuggleCast enter code Ron, that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot-com domain name for just $6.95 a year. Some restrictions apply, see site for details. Get your piece of the internet at

Andrew: This week’s MuggleCast is also brought to you by Borders. Prepare for the upcoming release of Book 7 by catching a glimpse of where it all began. During the month of April, you can purchase Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone on DVD for only $14.99 at Borders. Also be sure to reserve Book 7 at Borders at 40 percent off and get a free sticker. Choose from “Trust Snape” or “Snape is a very bad man.”

[Intro music begins to play]

Andrew: Because Jamie is special, this is MuggleCast Episode 84 for April 5th, 2007.

[Intro music continues to play]

Jamie: Okay, hello, everyone. Welcome to MuggleCast Episode 84. This is a special episode due to me being an absolute idiot and missing my train. What do you all think of that?

Mikey: [laughs] I donated.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Did you donate? I wouldn’t donate to that.

Ben: I think we should tell the full story. Explain what happened, Jamie.

Mikey: Hold on. I donated.

Jamie: We’ve already told the full story. I know you did, Mikey.

Mikey: But no one knows how much I donated, Jamie.

Jamie: Well, it was a very generous donation. You helped a lot with that, thank you.

Mikey: I donated $0.01, and Paypal let them know how much I sent them and everything.

Jamie: He did.

Kevin: Did that cost you money?

Jamie: And we were just overjoyed, Mikey, with that obviously very generous donation.

Mikey: Of course. I was not laughing at you at all.

Kevin: I hear static.

Ben: So, basically, since Jamie…

Jamie: We’ve told the story, Ben.

Ben: Hold on, hold on. Since Jamie can’t drive, they had to take the train into London. How many times have you ridden the train? That’s the real question.

Jamie: Well, let me count. There was that time five years ago when I jumped on it for twenty minutes quickly. There was that time – how am I supposed to know how many times I’ve ridden the train?

Ben: Well, I don’t know. You’ve ridden it plenty haven’t you?

Jamie: Loads of times, yeah.

Ben: Well then how could you screw up this big? Like, seven hundred, you know.

Jamie: Well, I’m sorry Ben, I completely forgot that…

Ben: You did it on purpose, didn’t you? You did it on purpose.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Yes, that’s exactly – you see, I love wasting four hundred pounds. It’s my favorite thing in the world, so I thought I’d, you know, waste four hundred more.

Ben: The cat’s out of the bag now, Jamie.

Jamie: It is, I know. It’s terrible. But since it’s to celebrate – this show is to celebrate an extremely funny and silly event, I thought that we’d make it a very funny and silly show. So what we’re going to do is we’re going to go through all the segments that we used to have on the show and we’re going to do something for all of them. Well, most of them. We aren’t going to do Chapter-by-Chapter.


[laughs] I wonder why.

Jamie: I wonder why as well.

Ben: That’s my favorite.

Jamie: Well, mine too, but you know, I was just too excited so we couldn’t get it on.

[Laura laughs}

[Intro music continues to play]


Jamie: Now we have a few announcements. You know, I’m reading this right off the show plans, and I’m trying to sound like Andrew to try and do as well as him, but it’s actually quite hard. I have a newfound respect for the guy.

Kevin: Don’t respect Andrew.

Jamie: Okay.

Kevin: Don’t respect…

Jamie: What? Don’t respect Toots?

Kevin: Exactly.

Jamie: I respect Toots.

Mikey: You know, I think we should call him Simsy because I was calling him that in New York City.

Jamie: I think we should call him Simsy. But you know, I thought everyone had called him Andrew, but when I went to his school for the day, everyone just calls him Sims. Everyone calls him Sims; “Alright, Sims?” “Hey, Sims.”

Ben: That’s weird. I couldn’t…

Jamie: I think we should just call him that.

Mikey: Well, I think we should call him Simsy because it’s a little bit further.

Jamie: Simsy, yeah.

Mikey: It’s like, “What’s up, Simsy.”

Jamie: It’s a cute name, as well.

Ben: Well, I usually call him other names. But I can’t…

Jamie: You can’t really say them on the show.

Ben: Yeah, I can’t really say them on air. First of all, Enlightening 2007; Jamie, Andrew, and myself are going to be there – and Micah, are going to be there. There’s going to be a podcast open to the public. We’re going to be talking all about the movie, the book…

Jamie: Harry Potter?

Ben: …Our excitement, all that good stuff. There’s 350 spaces for registered guests, and 250 for the public. So, yeah, you can – most likely, if you show up there, you’re going to get a space. Philadelphia’s really a – it’s a really high – the per capita of Harry Potter fans I was pretty impressed with because when I was there this past – you know, it was on this book tour with Emerson…

Jamie: Ooh.

Ben: …And there was a surprising amount of people at the Philadelphia event. There were more people there than there were at any of the other events, and there were close to 250. So, it was pretty impressive.

Jamie: Wow.

Ben: Particularly for a weeknight event, too. So, yep. And the podcast is going to be held on July 13 after dinner. Podcast Alley – go vote for us. We want to be number one. We want to be the best. We want to be the top Harry Potter podcast because we know you guys think we’re the best, so show some love, yo.

Jamie: Where is the love?

Ben: Where is the love?

Jamie: The Black Eyed Peas had a similar sentiment.

MuggleNet Book Tour

Ben: And also, Emerson and I have some more tour dates that I am pleased to announce for everybody right now. We don’t have any times yet – we don’t have any specific times yet, so those will be announced at a later date. But in Encinitas in the San Diego area; we’ll be there on May 25th. Then we’re going to be at Otay Ranch in the San Diego area on May 26th. Then we’re going to be at Newport Beach on May 27th. Then we are going to be in Torrance, California, on May 31st.

Jamie: Cool.

Ben: So these are all going to be at Barnes & Noble locations. There will be a website – excuse me, we already have the website, MuggleNet.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: It will have a page with all of this information on it and the times to be there. Of course, we’ll be giving away prizes from Alivan’s. You know, talking about Harry Potter and having a good time with you fans. So come out and see us, and then later June we’ll have somewhere around 12 to 13 stops in June. So yeah, get excited. We’re coming to a town near you. That’s all through the Midwest and east coast again.

Jamie: Thank you, Ben.

Make the Connection

Jamie: And now we go to our first segment today, which is a new one. Sort of extremely silly to celebrate the stupidness of the event. This is “Make the Connection” in which the hosts have to make a connection between Harry Potter and a random book, film, movie, or whatever that I tell them to. This should be quite exciting. So Laura, your connection is Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice, the book.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Go.

Laura: Well, I think that big themes in both with Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice are love, and… [laughs]

Jamie: Good. Very good.

Laura: …Overcoming pride and prejudice. So, I mean, obviously I know that the main character in Pride and Prejudice comes from a poor family which is kind of like Ginny, and I know that…

Kevin: [laughs] Oh, geez.

Laura: Actually, I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know any of this, [laughs] but I know that the leading male does not like her first, and Harry kind of didn’t like Ginny. He didn’t dislike her, but he didn’t have romantic feelings towards her in the beginning, and…

Jamie: Not bad, not bad at all. Very good.

Laura: And he did overcome it, so.

Jamie: Ben, you have to make a connection between Harry Potter and Saving Private Ryan.

Ben: I’ve never seen Saving Private Ryan.

Jamie: That doesn’t matter, come on.

Ben: I don’t know. There’s a lot of war. There we go.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: There’s tons of war in both of them.

Jamie: Two out of ten. Kevin, you have to make a connection between Harry Potter and Windows Vista.

Kevin: Okay. Well, this one is easy.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: You know how – have any of you ever re-read Goblet of Fire?

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Kevin: You know how it goes really, really slow at certain points? And then speeds itself up? Exactly like Windows Vista.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: Wow. [laughs] That’s very good. You’re the winner so far, but Mikey, I’ve got quite a difficult one for you.

Mikey: Oh, no.

Jamie: You have to make a connection between Harry Potter and elephant gestation periods. So, come on.

Mikey: laughs I’m going to say both are pretty awesome, and…

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Right there, right there. That’s a connection that the two have.

Jamie: Anything else to add?

Mikey: Both are kind of graphic. Harry Potter is not really a children’s book, but it is at the same time. But that’s as much I can think of off the top of my head. Thank you for that one, Jamie.

Jamie: Okay. That’s a pretty good job.

Kevin: How about you, Jamie?

Jamie: Very good.

Kevin: How about Harry Potter and making a train on time?

Jamie: Well, I think this is very, very important because Harry Potter is all about responsibility and caring for your friends, which I failed at completely because I was suppose to get Andrew and Sam to London and I completely failed, unlike Harry. He’s going to – actually, that’s a kind of anti-connection.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Completely different; Harry Potter and missing your train.

Laura: Yeah, Jamie. Geez, at least when Harry and Ron miss the train in Chamber of Secrets, Ron got him a car.

Kevin: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Got him a flying car, yeah. Damn! There was a flying car outside.

Ben: Yeah, it didn’t cost them 10 million pounds.

Jamie: I just didn’t think of them. Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

What If?

Jamie: Okay, let’s go on to our next segment. This hasn’t been done for a while now. It’s “What If.” So, we ask a question, “What if something in the books or movies completely changed, how would the series develop as a whole from there?” Our question today is, “What if Harry and Hermione had seen themselves when they had gone back in time in Prisoner of Azkaban?” Laura?

Laura: Hermione would have said, [imitating a British accent] “Does my hair really look like that from the back?”

Jamie: And Harry would have been…

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Jamie: “You have your mother’s eyes.”

Laura: I don’t know. I mean, obviously it wouldn’t have been very good because they talked about the consequences of that in the chapter. They would have thought there was really, really dark magic going on. They would have gone insane. Knowing the way Harry is, he might have gotten kind of crazy and killed himself.

Jamie: You see? You say that, but don’t you think they’re extremely accepting?

Laura: “It’s okay if there’s another me. That’s okay.”

Jamie: If I saw – [laughs] exactly, exactly. But if I saw myself, and myself explained, “Look, I’ve come back in time to save a few people and stuff,” would you believe them?

Laura: No. [laughs]

Jamie: I think I’d be tempted. I would challenge myself to an arm wrestle to see who won.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: I don’t know, what do you think?

Mikey: Myself from an hour ago.

Jamie: [laughs] Exactly.

Ben: I don’t think anything would happen. I don’t know.

Mikey: I think Harry would’ve flipped out and, “Oh my gosh. My dad’s alive.”

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: “Dad, Dad.”

Jamie: It’s a good idea.

Mikey: And…

Ben: “It’s him. I can see him. I want to see him.”

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: He thought his dad saved him, so, you know, he did see himself, and…

Jamie: That is true.

Mikey: And Hermione, in the movie; “Does my hair really look like that?” That’s what would have happened.

Laura: Well, I don’t think it matters if – Oh gosh, this is so hard to explain. I don’t think it matters if the person who is actually traveling back in time sees the past self because they already know that’s what happened. I think it’s if the past self sees the future self that you have the problem.

Kevin: Yeah, without knowing that they were actually going to go back in time. Yeah, that would be a little confusing.

Mikey: Well, I think for Harry it’s the biggest one. Because, one, he didn’t know about the Time-Turner. But again, he still thought his dad was alive and his dad saved him. You know what I mean? And then he worked it out himself. He was waiting for his dad to show up and then he realized it wasn’t his dad, it was himself.

Kevin: Yeah, but if you saw yourself close up you would know it’s you and not your dad. [laughs]

Jamie: You would think so, yeah.

Mikey: Well, fine! Just destroy my theory there. Okay.

[Kevin and Jamie laugh]

Laura: Do you really think that he thought James was alive? I kind of took it that as him thinking it was his spirit or something like that.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, who knows. I know, but…

Jamie: I don’t know, though. I don’t know if Harry would accept, you know, hearing from himself. Is Harry trusting or is he not trusting? Because I think he’s a bit of both. He’s sort of trusts people easily, just like Dumbledore. But then, because of all he’s been through, perhaps he doesn’t trust people as well. What do you think?

Laura: Hm, I don’t know. I mean, I think especially after a couple of years at Hogwarts and learning about the Dark Arts and stuff, I think that Harry would be very suspicious of seeing himself.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: You know, walk…

Jamie: It must be weird, though. Seeing yourself. I don’t know.

Spy On Spartz

Jamie: Anyway, Ben, you’re going to be the main guy on this. Now, we haven’t done this for a long, long time. We’re going to Spy on Spartz. So, you’ve been doing the book tour with him for awhile. Where is he now? What has he been doing? What’s he up to?

Mikey: Eating McDonalds.

Ben: I don’t know…

Kevin: Five.

Ben: Going to school. He has five tests tomorrow.

Jamie: [laughs] Five? In one day?

Ben: Or three. My bad.

Jamie: That’s still quite a lot in one day. Has he studied for them?

Ben: Probably not. [laughs]

Mikey: Well, what went on during the book tour?

Ben: What went on during the book tour? He forced me to drive the van because he’s a jerk. His dad’s van. His dad’s big conversion van.

Jamie: Why couldn’t he drive it?

Ben: Because he wanted to sit in the back and play Nintendo 64 with his roommate.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: I was like, “Okay, whatever.”

Dueling Club

Jamie: Right, let’s do our Dueling Club now because it hasn’t been done for awhile. We’re going to continue the Pokemon references and do: What would happen if Dumbledore faced off against MewTwo?

Ben: MewTwo? I’ve never heard of MewTwo. You’re saying all these things I don’t even know, dude, like Saving Private Ryan.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Lots of wars. Tons of wars. [laughs]

Jamie: I thought it was a good connection. You know, there’s a big war in both. I think that’s fine. Who knows who MewTwo is?

Mikey: Isn’t he a Pokemon?

Jamie: He is a Pokemon.

Laura: Um, yeah. [laughs]

Mikey: I’m Google searching it and…

Laura: Wasn’t he in the first movie? He was, like, the messed up version of another one or something?

Jamie: Of Mew. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Mikey, let’s do one for you here. Instead of Dumbledore versus MewTwo, I want to do Dumbledore versus Darth Sidius.

Mikey: Oh, wow. It’s good versus dark right there. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Well, Darth Sidius, he was very cunning. Very Slytherin-like. He manipulated a lot people, you know? He was the dark master in the new trilogy of Star Wars. I’m going way too serious into this. [laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no. It’s good. It’s good. Good stuff.

Mikey: Dumbledore, you know, he started the Order of the Phoenix. He’s the protector of the light. I definitely think – I’m going to say it. I think Dumbledore would win. You know, come on, if Luke Skywalker eventually wins. That whiny little Mark Hamill.

Kevin: Yeah, that is definitely true.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s very true.

Mikey: [laughing] That – You know, if Mark Hamill can eventually beat, you know, the Emperor, I definitely think Dumbledore could with just…

Jamie: Easily.

Mikey: With a couple of wand flicks here and there. Yeah.

Jamie: Here’s a question, though. Here’s a question. Does a light saber absorb spells?

Mikey: Yes, it would. Because we know for a fact – Okay, so this is my Star Wars geek side coming out. Part of the Dark Side…

[Ben and Kevin laugh]

Mikey: They can use Force Lightening. And there’s also another planet where they’re considered witches, people who use the Force. And a light saber can absorb Force Lightening and other Force-thrown items. So, just like a spell, a light saber would be able to block it and absorb it. So, yes.

Jamie: And here’s a – For ten extra points, what substances – this is going to turn into a Star Wars podcast.

[Mikey laughs]

Jamie: Now, what substances can a light saber not cut through?

Mikey: Only another light saber.

Jamie: No, no, no. There’s more, there’s more.

Mikey: No. Only another…

Jamie: There’s more.

Mikey: Well, I don’t know.

Jamie: No. I saw it on Wikipedia. And that’s the utmost, you know…

Kevin: Source of information?

Mikey: Well, it…

Jamie: Legitimate resource.

Mikey: There’s other things it can’t cut through. Like, you know…

Jamie: Is it Krick? No, no, not Krick. It’s got, like, a word.

Mikey: No, no. For other – no, no.

Kevin: Okay, guys.

Mikey: No, there’s been a comic book where…

Jamie: I’m looking now.

Mikey: A Jedi master fought with his cane, but it was a Force-enhanced, you know, cane.

Jamie: Oh, really?

Mikey: Yeah, so it’s like, it can’t cut through everything. But like, it can cut through any material. But the only other material it can’t cut through is another light saber.

Kevin: There’s always “Wookiepedia,” guys.

Jamie: It’s not – I’m sure there’s something else. Perhaps I’m wrong.

Kevin: “Wookiepedia,” anyone?

Mikey: Well, I Google searched, “What can’t a light saber cut through?” And the question is close.

[Ben laughs]

Mikey: Can a light saber cut through Captain America’s shield? I don’t know. [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Can it?

Ben: I’ve never, I…

Mikey: I would assume so. But, okay, let’s go back to Harry Potter because that’s what we’re talking about here.

Ben: It’s not a Star Wars podcast.

Jamie: Mikey, Mikey. Cortosis ore, is one of them. And Frick alloy.

Mikey: Huh.

Jamie: According to Wikipedia.

Mikey: According to Wikipedia?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: See, now I’m not going to pay attention to this, guys. I’m going to end up looking up Star Wars facts online.

[Kevin laughs]

Mikey: And I’m supposed to be…

Jamie: Oh, sorry, Mikey. I mean – Mikey, I mean, you’re absolutely right. The only thing in the entire world that a light saber can’t cut through is one more light saber. So yeah, well done. Right. Harry Potter.

Mikey: Good. Alright.

Jamie: Harry Potter. Right.

Favorite Book 7 Ending

Jamie: We’re going to go on to one more segment that hasn’t been done in ages: Favorites. And we are going to have what would be your favorite Book 7 ending? And this isn’t just if Harry dies or not, this is what, in total, do you want to happen? So what happens to each of the major characters, what do you want the final outcome of the war to be? I hope everyone says that they hope Voldemort wins, but you know, each to his own. So, Ben?

Ben: Hm, favorite Book 7 ending. I want to see Harry die because that would be the coolest thing ever. Hate me.

Jamie: Wouldn’t you cry, for weeks and weeks and weeks?

Kevin: Ooh.

Ben: No, I would never cry over a book.

Jamie: Oh, hard man. Hard man.

Ben: Oh, okay. I will cry when it’s over, like when it’s done, but I wouldn’t cry over what happened in it. You know what I mean? I’ll cry when it is all said and done, like, “Oh my God! No more Harry Potter!” Because the other day I was sitting there thinking about it. This is crazy. We only have 784 pages of Harry Potter left. [whispers] Ever.

Jamie: I know. Ever. Unless she writes a bit more. She’s like, “I want to buy a new house.” [laughs] Bit too expensive. I better write one more book. That’ll do.”

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: Kevin, what do you think? What do you want?

Kevin: I agree. I like the idea of Harry dying.

Jamie: You want to cry at the end as well?

Kevin: Yeah. Ron and Hermione living on but Harry dying.

Jamie; Why? Why, though? I mean, come on…

Kevin: I don’t know.

Jamie: Come on, people. Substantiate your reasons.

Kevin: No, I think it would be fitting with, you know, the way his life has been going. I think it would be actually a relief for him. I don’t know.

Jamie: Laura?

Laura: To die?

Kevin: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, to die. [laughs]

Kevin: Well, I mean, he lost all his friends and he lost his family, so.

Laura: I mean, there was that one episode, Jamie, where you talked about Harry opening up a hot dog stand. I think that would be pretty cool.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: But, I don’t know.

Jamie: Yeah, but people would go just to buy a hot dog from Harry Potter.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Kevin: I have this horrible vision of Ginny dying.

Jamie: “Can you sign my hot dog?”

Laura: [laughs] Well, okay, honestly though? What would I like so see – I think I would like to see more than anything justice done to the different characters. You know, characters like Malfoy.

Jamie: So, you want to see Voldemort dead?

Laura: Yeah, like Voldemort dead. Harry getting what he deserves, which is a happy life with Ginny and lots of kids.

Jamie: Is Jo that kind of author?

Laura: No, she’s not.

Jamie: It would seem, I mean…

Laura: You would like to see that kind of thing. As for what we will see, well…

Jamie: You would.

Kevin: Do you see Ginny dying? I have this horrible…

Laura: I’ve thought about it…

Jamie: What?

Kevin: Ginny dying.

Laura: …and I used to think it a lot more than I do now.

Jamie: Well, you see, over here, soaps, sitcom things, like, if one person kills another character, you know, and everyone’s like, “Well, are they going to get caught? Are they not going to get caught?” You always know they are going to get caught because TV producers over here can’t show that crime pays. I don’t know if it’s the same over…

Ben: Yeah, it’s pretty much the same here too.

Jamie: It’s the same. But, you know, the book is a different thing. She doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone. It isn’t like it’s a role model for future books, you know. So, do you think that justice is going to get served?

Laura: Probably not. I mean, not to everybody.

Jamie: Because her world works that way.

Ben: I don’t think it will. Because, I don’t think – Not necessarily everybody, but – Well, I guess it will to some people. But I just don’t think, I mean, something that Jo has made clear, I think, is that this is not a…

Jamie: It isn’t a fairy tale.

Ben: A dream world. Yeah, it’s not a fairy tale. There is no happily ever after. And…

Jamie: No, there’s not.

Ben: Honestly, I would be disappointed if she turned it into, “Oh, everyone lived – yeah, everyone. Harry and Ginny went off and had a perfect life together.”

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: I think that…

Ben: And all those things.

Laura: What I mean by – When I say “justice,” I mean characters like Bellatrix Lestrange who deserve to be blown into a million pieces for what she did. Obviously, it’s not going to happen to everybody. But I think that the perfect Book 7 is going to leave me – Well, first of all, it will leave me in tears. I’ll be crying the whole way through. But it will leave me wishing there was more, but, at the same time, thankful for what all I’ve gotten. And that’s what I really want. I want something that really closes up all of the years, you know, and all of the experiences I’ve had out of Harry Potter.

Jamie: I think that’s fair enough. Mikey?

Mikey: I do want Harry to live. I would really be sad if Harry died.

Jamie: Same here. I would be as well, I just…

Mikey: The reason is if Harry died, I would have very – I really wouldn’t want to reread the series because he dies in the end. I would hate to be jaded, with as much as I love Harry Potter, so.

Ben: [sings] J-J-Jaded.

Jamie: [laughs] Thank you, Ben.

Mikey: Really, I think you know… [laughs] Really, I’d be happy with whatever outcome. But I really want Harry to live, not to die.

Jamie: I just – he’s a person who just lives, that’s the thing. He just soldiers on. He can’t die.

Mikey: He’s the Boy Who Lived. He’s got to live, you know.

Jamie: He is, yeah.

Laura: I have to ask you guys a question.

Mikey: But I…

Jamie: The Boy Who Lived for seven books and then died.

Mikey: [laughs] Died.

Ben: The Boy Who Died doesn’t make sense.

Jamie: [laughs] The Boy Who Died.

Laura: I honestly don’t care either way.

Mikey: You know what, Laura, it’s because you’re a bad person.

Laura: Well, okay…

Mikey: He is supposed to live.

Laura: It’s not that I don’t love Harry because I do. But for something like…

Mikey: No, no, no, no, no. You’re a bad person. For saying that.

Laura: I’ve thought about this for ages. Because everybody talks about how if Harry dies it would just be horrible. If Harry lives, he shouldn’t live because it isn’t realistic. I think it could go either way, and it honestly doesn’t bother me to think about which outcome we get. I’m more bothered about characters like Ron and Neville because I love them and I’m terrified that they’ll die. That’ll just, like, break my heart.

Jamie: Oh, so you love them, but you don’t…

Jamie and

Mikey: Care about Harry?

Laura: Of course I care about Harry. Otherwise…

Jamie: No, Laura. No.

Mikey: Laura, you just, you know what Laura, is this Laura Mallory or Laura Thompson we’re talking to?

Jamie: Yeah.

[Everyone but Laura laughs]

Laura: Hey.

Jamie: Damn, I dialed the wrong number on Skype.

Ben: Yeah.

Mikey: Sorry, Laura. I had to. I had to put that out there. That really…

Laura: No, I do love Harry. I think, I mean it will be sad if he does, I’m not saying it won’t be.

Jamie: It will be.

Laura: But I don’t have a preference either way, I guess.

Ben: How do you know it’s going to be sad, though.

Laura: I don’t think he should die, I don’t think he should live.

Ben: Okay, I don’t get this. How – Why would it be sad?

Laura: Because!

Ben: That’s what I don’t get.

Laura: It would be sad.

Jamie: Ben, Ben…

Ben: No, listen, listen. In many cultures, in many cultures…

Jamie: If someone dies, why would it be sad? I don’t know.

Ben: Okay, in many cultures in the world people celebrate death, okay?

Laura: Yeah, but…

Ben: They say, “Oh my gosh, they’re…” It’s not because – I mean, sure, they don’t like it that they’re dead, but they…

Jamie: No, they don’t celebrate death, it’s a celebration of their life.

Laura: Life, yeah.

Jamie: You mourn their death by remembering their life.

Ben: No, you celebrate them going on to the next thing. Because would it be such a bad thing if Harry was reunited with his parents, with Sirius, and with Dumbledore?

Jamie: Well, if you believe in that.

Laura: If you believe in that.

Jamie: The afterlife. He could just go into a – you know. I don’t know, though.

Mikey: But Dumbledore said death is not something to a person who is well prepared for it, and again, it’s not the worst thing.

Jamie: But it is – it is, clearly.

Mikey: Well, that’s what Voldemort fears, so definitely. It has to be the worst.

Ben: I think Voldemort’s actually Jamie, ha ha ha. [Mockingly laughs]

Jamie: Yes. Damn, you’ve told my second secret of the show.

Mikey: Was that Micah or was that Ben?

Ben: That was me being an idiot – doing an idiot voice.

Kevin: It did, yeah.

Ben: That, incidentally, sounded like Micah.

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: It did happen to.

Mikey: I know. [laughs] That’s why I looked up, like, did someone else get added?

Ben: [Imitating Micah] Yeah.

Jamie: Okay. Second favorite.

Ben: [Imitating Micah] Welcome to the show. I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Favorite Job For Harry

Jamie: Okay, favorite job for Harry. Now, Laura, you’ve already mentioned you’d love him to work as a hot dog vendor. Okay, so really, if Harry survives and all evil is vanquished, and everyone lives happily ever after, what job do we want Harry to do?

Kevin: I would say teacher.

Laura: Well…

Kevin: Like, everyone says Auror and stuff like that because that’s what he wants to do, but I don’t see him wanting to go back to the whole fighting dark wizards after all of this.

Jamie: Well, I’m sorry to say that I’ve read Book 7, and he’s a grave digger after he finishes.

Kevin: I think he would be great if he lived at Hogwarts.

Mikey: I agree with Kevin.

Laura: I don’t think Harry will have a job if he lives.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Actually, he’s going to write a book called…

Jamie: What happens after my life and who lives with me.

Ben: Harry Potter’s What Happened in Harry Potter 7.

Mikey: Who Lived, Who Died[laughs]

Ben:and How the Adventure Finally Ended.

Mikey: How I finally got old. No, I agree with Kevin. I think it would be cool if Harry was a teacher. I can totally see him being, eventually, headmaster.

Jamie: Isn’t that too obvious, though?

Ben: I think he’s going to become all washed up.

Laura: Didn’t Jo say that none of the trio would be teachers, though?

Ben: Yeah, she did.

Mikey: No. I thought she said one of them, but it wouldn’t be Harry, so I always assumed it would be Hermione.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Mikey: I’m pretty sure it was something like that.

Ben: I think…

Laura: I thought she said one character. I don’t think she specified it was a trio member.

Mikey: Oh, maybe.

Ben: I think he’s going to become head of the Auror department. I don’t know. I think what’s going to happen is…

Mikey: Maybe he should become Minister of Magic.

Ben: You know, he saved the world and all that stuff, but eventually I think he’s going to get washed up, you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah, he will.

Mikey: [Imitating Harry]“Do you remember what I did for you!? Do you remember what I did?! I saved the world!”

Ben: Yeah, he’s going to be a has-been.

Kevin: Hanging out in the Hog’s Head.

Jamie: [laughs]

Mikey: [Imitating Harry] “Give me another Firewhiskey!”

Ben: He’s going to become a has-been.

Jamie: He’s going to hang out in bars. Yeah, exactly. He’ll smoke sixty a day, hang out in all the poky bars, and say, “Oh, one day people respected me. Look at me now.” I can see that.

Ben: Talking about the old days.

Jamie: I’m depressed now talking about that. The old days, yeah. Exactly.

Huh? Of The Week

Jamie: Laura, I believe – now, since Andrew can’t be here, we have a “Huh?” email of – I can’t say it properly.

Ben: Huh?

Laura: Yeah, how do you do it? It’s like [Imitating Andrew] Huh?! I can’t quite do it. [laughs]

Mikey: [Imitating Andrew] Huh?! Huh?!

Jamie: [laughs] Yes, that’s brilliant. So, Andrew isn’t here, so he can’t do his – as you just said – that email of the week. So, Laura, I believe you have one to rant about – rave about.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs] I was actually – laugh about, more like.

Jamie: Laugh about, yeah.

Laura: I was going through my inbox today, and I found this because I hadn’t – sometimes, whenever you get tons of emails, you’ll get some that are all about the same thing, so you’ll just read one or two of them to kind of get the gist, and then if there’s anything important, you go back and read the rest of it. But I found this one that had my name in the subject line, and it says:

Hey, guys. I love the show. Jamie’s awesome. Pickle! Okay, so I have something I’d like to say. You know what? I’m just going to be blunt: I hate Laura.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: I just don’t like her. She shoots down every theory that the guys put out.

Ben: I like this person already.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: I love Laura.

Kevin: We all replied to this email.

Laura: Yeah, I’m sure you did.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s hard being the only girl, but I think MuggleCast is better off without her. Could Mikey B. possibly take her place? Permanently, I mean.

Ben: Even better suggestion!

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] But I love Laura.

Laura: I like Mikey. He’s cool. Oh, I think the GoDaddy ads, etcetera, at the beginning of the podcast are too long. Could you just stick them in the show notes or something?

Jamie: Yes, of course. Anything else you want? Anything else you want? Do you want the show moved two minutes later on Sundays, or…

Laura: [laughs] Well, wait, wait, wait. Jamie, Jamie.

Jamie: Okay.

Laura: I appreciate your time and effort that goes into this awesome podcast. Keep up the good work.

Jamie: Aw. Isn’t that nice?

Laura: Well, see, my favorite…

Jamie: So, Laura, what do you feel towards this person?

Ben: Time? Effort? [laughs]

Laura: Well, see, I think that…

[Jamie and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: What did you say those words were?

Laura: I think that just because she asked so nicely, I’m just going to leave.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, well, you’ve been planning it, haven’t you, Laura? So, you’re going.

Laura: Yup. I’m going.

Jamie: I hope you got what you wanted! She’s gone! She’s gone! She’s off! Out! Vamoose! Disappeared!

Laura: Not really.

Mikey: Vamoose?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: One of my favorite things, though, is can we move the GoDaddy ads so we can start charging listeners to listen to the show? That way…

Jamie: Yeah, that would be the problem.

Laura: That would be the only way we could pay for it, so yeah, sure. If you want to pay, that’s fine.

Jamie: But Laura, I think you should thank her for sending in this email because she took the time and effort to send this email in.

Laura: Yeah, tell me how much she hates me.

Jamie: You shouldn’t be too mean. [laughs]

Laura: Oh, no, no, no, no. I appreciate all feedback.

Jamie: There you go.

Laura: No matter how ridiculous.

Voicemails: The Longbottoms’ Information

Jamie: And let’s go to some voicemails now. Laura?

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters. This is Tanya from the freezing cold Montreal, Canada right now. Last night, I was re-reading Goblet of Fire and I noticed that at the trial of Bellatrix and Mr. Crouch’s son, Mr. Crouch says that they tortured the Longbottoms into insanity, but particularly Frank Longbottom because he had information of where Voldemort was. Do you think that he was the only Auror that really knew where Voldemort was, and do you think that he still has information that Harry needs to know? Thanks, I love the show.

Jamie: Well, he is clearly a senior Auror.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Frank Longbottom.

Mikey: Well, I doubt that he remembers it.

Jamie: He and his wife. Well, no, I doubt he remembers much, but no, I think he and his wife are good senior Aurors in the Auror hierarchy. I don’t know, I just think that – I don’t know if you can say that he knew solely, you know, about Voldemort. But I think he was probably entrusted with more information, and so they went for the top guy and girl rather than aiming lower. But I don’t know.

Laura: Well, I mean – I don’t know. I think what she is asking is, is there any way that Harry can get any information from him at this point or is he too damaged?

Ben: I think he’s too damaged. The memories and stuff still may be there but we saw with Voldemort – he completely destroyed Bertha Jorkins when he got that information out of her. So, I mean, I don’t know if you can destroy them anymore. I know that sounds really bad, but I don’t know if it’s possible to destroy them any more, but you may have to leave them for dead, probably, if you broke their minds any more than they are already broken.

Jamie: But they are basically dead already. Are they worse than dead or not?

Laura: I would say so.

Ben: I’d say so. Yeah, I would say so.

Laura: Especially because of the way that Neville has to see them.

Ben: Well, to him, especially.

Jamie: Well, that’s true.

Kevin: Yeah, it’s a pretty horrible existence.

Ben: To him, especially.

Mikey: Yeah, that’s kind of harsh.

Ben: To his parents, they’re not aware of their surroundings. So, honestly, they might as well be dead.

Mikey: Are they not aware? Because Alice always gives Neville the gum wrapper, so they know it’s – something is different about this person coming to visit them.

Laura: She knows, but…

Jamie: [laughs] Can I just say…?

Laura: Yeah, go ahead, Jamie.

Jamie: I love that theory that people came up with – to be fair, I was an advocate of this as well until I found out that it was complete rubbish – that she was passing him information in these gum wrappers.

Laura: I thought that was kind of cool too.

Jamie: Well, the evidence to this theory was, I think…

Laura: It was an anagram? [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. What’s the…

Laura: “Gold bribe beneath St. Mungo’s” or something?

Jamie: Yeah, “Gold bribe below St. Mungo’s” was an anagram of the gum name, you know, the – and I thought that…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: How do you find an anagram? I just – I don’t…

Laura: If you’re good at puzzles, I guess.

Ben: You have way too much time on your hands.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: Perhaps.

Laura: Kind of like us. [laughs]

Mikey: You’re Ben Schoen.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. Ben figures out so many anagrams, it’s unbelievable.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, it’s – I know.

Mikey: [laughs] It’s because he’s a genius.

Jamie: Yeah, he is.

Mikey: We just don’t know that part of Ben.

Jamie: I.Q. of 230, isn’t it, Ben? Since the last time you had it tested.

Ben: Well, isn’t it true, like, with people with I.Q.’s of 230 can’t, like, walk? [laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know if you can make…

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: …that blatant claim, but I think yeah, they…

Ben: They have other types of disabilities once they’re that smart. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, a lot. Yeah, a lot of smart people have some issues.

Jamie: That’s ridiculous how you can have…

Kevin: Not everyone.

Ben: Like you, Kevin. Like you, Kevin. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, it’s true.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Yeah, he lacks basic social skills. Just kidding.

Jamie: He has like an I.Q. of 3497. It’s huge. He knows absolutely everything.

Ben: Actually, it’s 1024. Right, Kevin? [Mockingly laughs]

Jamie: No, Ben, it used to be that. Oh, I see. Sorry, I get it now. [laughs]

Voicemail: Last Chapter Or Epilogue?

Jamie: Okay, Laura, next voicemail?

[Audio]: Hi, this is Lizzie from Melbourne, Australia. I was just thinking about when J.K.R. said the last word “scar” was going to be in the last chapter, or the last word of the non-epilogue chapter. That could make quite a difference because it could end, “The son was born with a scar.” I’m not sure. I don’t know. But if you guys could tell me what you think, that’d be great. Okay, bye.

Jamie: Last chapter, I thought – I think she wouldn’t talk about the epilogue.

Kevin: Well, didn’t she say the last word in the book will be “scar?” Or…

Laura: It would be “scar,” yeah.

Kevin: Because…

Jamie: You don’t talk about…

Kevin: Yes.

Laura: The epilogue is part of the book.

Kevin: Absolutely, you need both.

Ben: Maybe it’s both.

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: Maybe she put them in both. It makes sense, Ben.

Ben: Maybe every chapter is going to end with “scar.”

Jamie: No, every word is.

Mikey: Every sentence. [laughs] It’s like, “Harry scar went scar to scar the…” You know.

Jamie: Mikey, she couldn’t think of anything to write, so she just put ten thousand words of “scar,” and you have to try and figure it out the meaning just from that. That could be fun.

Mikey: Well, I thought it was only seven hundred and eighty four and it was one word per page…

Jamie: Oh, yeah, it is.

Mikey: …that just said “scar” written over and over again.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Because that’s what I was told.

Ben: Wouldn’t that be funny? Seriously, wouldn’t you buy a copy if it had that? I would. You know what I mean? She…

Mikey: I still would.

Jamie: I’d buy two.

Ben: Just to say you had…

Jamie: Would you read it? Just to say you’ve read it.

Ben: Every single page. Yeah. Every single page.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: Yeah, of course.

Jamie: You couldn’t say that you read it.

Mikey: Dude, I can speed-read it. It just goes “scarrr.” In just one big flip-through real quick. You can say the word slow.

Jamie: How many people – If she hid, like, a load of details on page 340, how many people would actually read all the way through it and then go – and then get to 340 and then realize or did they just skip through it and say, “Oh, yeah, it says ‘scar’ on this page.”

Mikey: I would say that most likely, MuggleNet would end up posting that information, and I’d jump straight into that page.

Jamie: Well, it is your number one Harry Potter resource for top news, so.

Mikey: Of course it is. It’s my favorite site.

Jamie: Aw. Thank you, Mikey. [laughs]

Voicemail: S.P.E.W.

Jamie: Okay, Laura, next voicemail.

[Audio]: Hey. I was just listening to Episode 784, and it reminded me that I have been having this theory for awhile. I have just gotten a new jacket since my old one had worn out, and so I got it from the WB shop and it’s a S.P.E.W. jacket. And so I was wondering if this means that S.P.E.W. might actually be in the movie. Because, I mean, it’s just such a great part of the books, and so I think it would be great if they included it. So, could you tell me what you think? Thanks, love the show. Bye.

Jamie: Didn’t they say it wasn’t?

Laura: It wasn’t. Yeah. I’m pretty sure that they said it wasn’t. Yeah, I really don’t think that that means anything because I know that WB puts out a lot of merchandise, and some of it is just stuff from the books.

Kevin: In general, they’re just trying to sell stuff. So, if they think people are going to like it, they’re going to sell it.

Jamie: And it’s a cool jacket, with S.P.E.W. on it.

Laura: Yeah, I remember whenever – Well, before the first movie came out, my friend and I were in the WB store, and there was a whole bunch of stuff in there with a bunch of different characters and stuff. They had a shirt that had Peeves on it.

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: laughs And so we thought Peeves was going to be in the movie, and he wasn’t. And we bought…

Mikey: Well, no, he was. Didn’t you see him.

Laura: No, he wasn’t.

Mikey: I saw Peeves. He’s in every movie.

Jamie: Yeah, he is, Laura. You just aren’t watching them closely enough.

Mikey: [laughs] You’re just missing it, Laura.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: She blanks out just as he comes on. It’s like a subliminal Peeves.

Mikey: You know what, I think most fans blank out and don’t see Peeves.

Kevin: Yup.

Mikey: I see him every time. He’s always right there.

Jamie: It’s only one frame, isn’t it Mikey? So, you know, it’s quite hard to see him.

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah. Exactly.

Kevin: [laughs] So, it’s like Fight Club?

Mikey: But as a film student, I tend to view it one frame at a time for almost all my movies, so.

Jamie: Mikey watches every single movie one frame at a time.

Mikey: One frame at a time.

Jamie: So it takes you four weeks per movie, but you get every single detail. Every single thing.

Mikey: Oh, of course. I absorb all the detail. I’m like, “Ooh, look at the cinematography for this for this frame.” And there’s Peeves.

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: He’s always just pops up in one frame. [laughs]

Jamie: He does.

Kevin: So, it’s like Fight Club.

Jamie. Yeah, well, exactly. He…

Mikey: Exactly.

Jamie: …pops up and has his arm around Harry’s shoulder and, you know, it’s awesome. It’s awesome. Everyone re-watch Philosopher’s Stone. You’ll see Peeves.

Mikey: You’ll see Peeves in that.

[Jamie and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: Okay, next one.

Voicemail: Sirius’s Attempt To Kill Snape

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCasters. This is Kristin Stapleton, 15, from Seattle, Washington, and I was just re-reading in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. And I noticed something that I hadn’t heard properly explained or mentioned throughout the rest of the series. In the chapter “Hermione the Great,” Sirius has just gotten captured and Harry and Ron and Hermione are in the hospital wing – this is before they go back in time, by the way – and Harry awakes and hears Snape and Dumbledore arguing. On page 286 of the U.K. Prisoner of Azkaban hardback edition, Snape says, “Sirius Black showed he was capable of murder at the age of 16. You haven’t forgotten that, Headmaster? You haven’t forgotten that he once tried to kill me.” I immediately associated this with the Marauder scene in Order of the Phoenix, but then I realized that Snape didn’t really get harmed in that disagreement so I’m guessing he isn’t referring to that. What do you guys think he is talking about here? Could Sirius not be as innocent as we all think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and I love you all, but Eric and Andrew are my favorite. Bye.

Jamie: Interesting.

Laura: I don’t think so. Honestly.

Jamie: No, I don’t think so.

Laura: I mean it’s an interesting theory because we know that, especially between Sirius and Snape, there was a huge amount of animosity, but I think that he was talking about the werewolf thing, just because if he had come upon Lupin…

Jamie: He would’ve been killed, yeah.

Laura: …he most likely would have died.

Jamie: But he just thought that Sirius meant to kill him.

Laura: Kill him.

Jamie: But perhaps Sirius didn’t realize the implications of….

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: [unintelligible] or two.

Laura: I think it’s exactly – it’s completely, one hundred percent, something that Sirius would do, and he wouldn’t do it with any intention of killing him.

Jamie: No.

Laura: He was most likely just thinking, you know – scare the crap out of him, mainly. I think.

Jamie: I agree.

Laura: Yep. Does anyone else have anything to say?

Jamie: And, well it’s just Snape…

Kevin: I agree as well.

Jamie: …thinking that everyone is terrible and that because he tricked him, he wanted to kill him. I don’t think he’s, you know.

Ben: Bad.

Mikey: Sirius is a nice guy.

Laura: Was.

Jamie: Well, actually – he was a nice guy, yeah.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: Oh, no, wait. I hear…

Mikey: Oh, no – no.

Laura: …that if you read between the lines in the books, he pops up every now and then, right?

Kevin: That’s true.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: If you read, if you read…

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah – well, you know…

Jamie: …one letter at a time.

Mikey: He only went through that veil.

Jamie: Exactly.

Mikey: And that veil doesn’t mean he’s dead. So, he’s still around.

Jamie: Laura.

Mikey: We just have to, you know.

Jamie: Laura, if you go back to the Ministry of Magic you can see his…

Kevin: Well…

Jamie: …fingernails just over the edge of the veil, and he’s hanging on for dear life.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: And he’s hoping someone’s going to come back and pick him over the edge, but no luck so far.

Mikey: But they won’t let Harry back, so.

Kevin: But Laura – Laura, you know those flip books?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Mhm.

Kevin: Where you have to flip the pages really fast.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: You have to flip the pages really fast in order to see him.

Jamie: Oh, I thought you meant those ones…

Laura: He pops up – you know, waves.

Jamie: …where it’s like – Kevin, I think you meant those ones where it’s like you come face-to-face with the monster, to turn and run turn to page 161.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: But – but, you know.

[Kevin laughs]

Jamie: But to stand and fight…

Laura: Did you guys ever read those, the Goosebumps make-your-own-ending books?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben and



Laura: I loved those.

Kevin: Ah.

Laura: It’s my favorite thing.

Mikey: Me and Andrew had a whole conversation about if R.L. Stine and J.K. Rowling got in a fight.

Jamie: That would be awesome.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: Who would win? It would be amazing.

Jamie: That would be awesome.

Mikey: Because like, come on.

Kevin: Oh, geez.

Goosebumps And “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?”

Mikey: Do you remember the T.V. show on Fox?

Laura: Yeah.

Mikey: “Hi, I’m R.L. Stine.”

Ben: That used to freak me out – that show did.

Mikey: That would be amazing. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, but…

[Mikey laughs]

Mikey: Back to Goosebumps – I mean, Harry Potter.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: “Are You Afraid of the Dark” was scarier.

Laura: That show was awesome.

Mikey: That was – I own every episode.

Laura: I love that show.

Ben: Do you really?

Jamie: Mikey, do you remember the one where…

Mikey: Yeah, I bought it for a hundred bucks on DVD off eBay.

Jamie: Oh my god.

Mikey: 19 DVD’s.

Jamie: 19?

Mikey: Every episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” Yeah.

Jamie: Do you remember the one where there’s that creature that’s hidden in the wall of the house, and they recite and incantation and it comes out of the wall?

Mikey: Oh, “Quicksilver.”

Jamie: “Quicksilver,” yeah. That – I have never been so scared of anything, I don’t think, in my entire life.

[Kevin laughs]

Mikey: That’s one of my favorite episodes, and the guy is getting sick because…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: …he’s trying to do the incantation read back…

Jamie: I’ve never – it’s…

Mikey: …but he wasn’t using real silver…

Jamie: Yeah, he was…

Mikey: …they were using a spoon…

Jamie: Steel.

Mikey: …that wasn’t silver.

Jamie: It’s like, “Arabarious, the creature of darkness.” Oh, no.

Ben: So…

Jamie: I expected a thing to come on my wall here, and the thing to come out to get me, just like in the books. [laughs]

Ben: So, how many episodes are there per disc?

Mikey: It’s like five per disc. It’s not a real version because Nickelodeon has never released the real version, but it’s – some guy ended up downloading them all or recording them, and I saw it on eBay…

Jamie: Did you buy pirated [pronounced “pi-RATE-ed”] material, Mikey? Mikey.

Mikey: Um, no, I didn’t.

Ben: You bought – you bought…

Mikey: But somehow I stumbled across it.

Ben: He bought pirated [pronounced “PI-rut-ed”]

Jamie: You just stumbled across it.

Ben: …not pirated [pronounced “pi-RATE-ed”] – he bought pirated material.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s pirated [pronounced “pi-RATE-ed”].

Mikey: I bought – I bought burned…

Jamie: I say pirated [pronounced “pi-RATED”].

Mikey: …DVD discs. I bought burned discs. I thought they were blank when I purchased them for an – a lot of money. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, a hundred dollars for five DVDs. [laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] And they happened to have some wonderful, wonderful old…

Jamie: And you were like, “Damn!”

Mikey: …Nickelodeon shows that I – “Oh, well, I guess I’ll have to watch these.”

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, well.

Mikey: It’s from Canada, so.

Jamie: Well, perhaps William Shatner sent them to you. [laughs]

[Kevin laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] I know. Oh, how I love William Shatner and Canada. We’re going to be in Canada soon, aren’t we?

Jamie: We are, yeah. Well, perhaps he’ll be at Prophecy.

Laura: Oh, yay.

Jamie: Hopefully.

Mikey: Aw, that would be amazing.

Jamie: Go on, Laura. Next one.

Voicemail: Harry’s Protection In Little Whinging

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCasters. This is Stephanie from Illinois and I was just re-reading Book 5, and on page 143 in Chapter 8, called “The Hearing,” I found something kind of interesting. When Mrs. Figg is brought in to testify on Harry’s behalf, she says that she lives in Little Whinging, and Madame Bones replies, “There is no record of any witch or wizard living in Little Whinging other than Harry Potter. This situation has always been closely monitored given past events.” I’m not really sure what this means, but could it possibly imply that someone has – someone of the wizarding community has tried to attack Harry while he was staying at Privet Drive, but Dumbledore’s magic that he invoked could have prevented it? Thanks, love the show. Bye.

Jamie: Well, it depends on what type of ancient magic it is. Do you think it’s ancient magic that stops people knowing he’s there, or stops you coming…

Laura: Yeah, I don’t know.

Jamie: …to get him.

Laura: I think it’s the ancient magic that kind of continues the love that he has protecting him. Like, it kind of renews it, I suppose, like when he goes back there. He gets another year of love protection.

Jamie: That’s – [laughs] Of love, yeah.

[Mikey laughs]

Kevin: His dose of love.

Jamie: That’s pretty cool.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: But, I mean…

Jamie: No, I’ve always thought of it as kind of weird, all these ancient magic things that only Dumbledore seems to be able to do, you know. He seems to know all these ancient magical spells that protect Harry. I wish that Jo would tell us more about them because I think they’re pretty interesting.

Laura: Yeah, but, I mean, do you think that means…

Mikey: I want to know more.

Laura: …that at one point, you know – or you know, multiple points, maybe Death Eaters, other followers of Voldemort showed up at Privet Drive, tried to do something?

Jamie: Tried to do Harry in. They could – they had to have tried, you know, it’s…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: You know, it’s…

Laura: It’s just weird that Harry wouldn’t know about it. It’s kind of creepy, if you think about it.

Jamie: It is.

Mikey: I don’t think they’ve ever been. I honestly don’t think they know where Harry goes over the summer.

Jamie: He disguised himself as a postman, the Death Eater.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Yeah, but it’s not that hard to figure out that…

Jamie: It didn’t work, though.

Laura: …that’s where Harry goes. I mean, pretty much everyone knows that he lives with his aunt and uncle.

Mikey: I know, and a lot of people know, but the thing is, what if one of the spells that are cast on there, because of the blood – because, like, one, now that Voldemort has Harry’s blood running through him, that blood magic technically doesn’t matter anymore.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: You know what I mean? But why does he still have to go back? It’s some type of protection, and maybe that protection has kept the Death Eaters from actually finding out because they, you know, kind of like how, think about the, you know – Dumbledore came up with the Mirror of Erised. Only if someone wanted to get the Stone, but not use it, you know what I mean?

Jamie: So if somebody wanted to just talk to Harry, but not kill him? [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: But not kill him, or harm him, it would be okay. You know, something like that – we just don’t know.

Laura: Well, do you think it means that maybe Privet Drive is unplottable, or only certain people…

Mikey: Possibly.

Laura: …can see it?

Kevin: Yeah, that’s possible.

Mikey: Again, only, you know, if you want to just contact Harry for the sake of contacting Harry, not to be a…

Jamie: That’s interesting, yeah.

Mikey: Not to be a – you know what I mean? Something that – there’s something there that I know we don’t know.

Jamie: Oh, completely, yeah.

Mikey: And that’s why there’s never been, you know, that’s why there’s never been a, you know, a Death Eater attack there.

Jamie: She has been, you know, especially secretive about the advanced magic that protects Harry, the advanced magic that – sorry, ancient magic that protects Hogwarts, you know – all these kinds of things that only Dumbledore knows about and perhaps that’s been built up, but now he’s gone, and all these things collapse, and it really does come to Harry.

Mikey: Well, also, she’s also been very tight-lipped about the whole Grindelwald and Dumbledore battle also because the first thing you do when you go, you know, into any battle, is you research the past. You find out what’s worked, what hasn’t worked, so you have some type of an idea, and that’s like the only one that we really know about that took place, you know, previously with another dark wizard, and it was, of course, Dumbledore that was the one that fought against – so, it’s like, if we knew something there, maybe we’d know what to expect between Harry and Voldemort’s battle, but we don’t know anything there, we don’t know. There’s a lot that we’re missing, and I don’t know if we’re going to get all the answers, I really don’t.

Can Anyone Kill Voldemort?

Jamie: That’s just reminded me about something, and I wanted to get your guys’ opinion on this. I put out our show, and I wanted to ask, if Voldemort is tied to a chair, okay? Completely tied up. He can’t reach his wand, he can’t do any magic at all. Could Dumbledore, or Snape, or any other wizard, come in and kill him, or does the prophecy…

Mikey: This was your Minority Report thing, huh?

Laura: You know what’s interesting?

Jamie: It was, it was Minority Report, yeah.

Mikey: I actually just listened to that today.

Jamie: Oh, cool.

Mikey: I was stuck in traffic and I had my iPod. I was like, “I’ll listen to Jamie rant today.”

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] Um, I don’t know. Laura, you can go first.

Laura: I was just saying, our next voicemail is actually about that.

Jamie: Oh! What do you know?

[Ben laughs]

Voicemail: Who Else Can Kill Voldemort?

Mikey: Well, why don’t you read it because I have a response to that because I wasn’t on that show, so I have a response. But why don’t you read your voicemail first?

[Audio]: Hey, this is Amanda from California, and I was listening to MuggleCast 82. You were talking about could somebody else kill Voldemort, once all the Horcruxes are destroyed? And what you guys overlooked was, in the sixth book, when Dumbledore is talking about the prophecy – visionary – he says that it will still take a wizard with uncommon skill. And he says that Harry has that uncommon skill because it’s the love that he still has, no matter how much he suffered. And it’s that love that will help him destroy Voldemort. And I don’t believe anybody else has that special sort of love that Voldemort couldn’t touch beforehand. And that that love will be what enables Harry to be the only person who can kill Voldemort. I love the show. Thanks, bye!

Jamie: But doesn’t that kind of preclude everyone else who has lost people? The reason Harry – I think I’ve drawn this reference before, but I’ve got to draw it again. Like in “Prison Break” – which you should all watch, by the way, because it’s awesome – Michael Scofield, the lead character…

Mikey: I don’t watch that.

Jamie: You should, Mikey, it’s – oh, oh, oh my god. It’s brilliant.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: The lead character, he – because of his abused childhood, he is extremely empathetic towards people, and he can’t stand other people’s suffering. And it’s like Harry, and that’s born out of all the people close to him dying and seeing all these bad things happening. He feels empathetic towards people, and that’s why he has his power of love. But you can’t say that it’s only Harry in the whole wizarding world who has that power.

Laura: Well, I think…

Jamie: Other people have lost people, too. So, you know, – and hate Voldemort for that same reason.

Laura: Well, Jamie, I think that…

Ben: But Harry’s special.

Laura: …there’s something – there’s something unique about Harry’s situation that we don’t know yet. I think that there’s something about the Potters, maybe, that makes Harry’s case unique. I think that there’s more of a connection than just, Harry has the power of love to defeat Voldemort. I think there’s definitely something else that Harry has that he’s going to use against him. We just don’t know what it is yet.

Mikey: Well, you know what? Actually, because of that, I actually wasn’t sure about Jamie’s theory. Because the whole, like, predetermination, you know, if you knew your future, could you change it? Stuff like that. I actually just went back to the prophecy right now. I actually pulled it up. I have the book open. And it says, you know – the key words in there are “vanquish,” and I went and looked in the dictionary for it. It’s “to defeat thoroughly,” which could be – You know, he could defeat Voldemort thoroughly just by destroying the Horcruxes and someone else can off him, so you know…

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Mikey: So, Ron can come by and just take the Gryffindor sword and chop his head off.

Jamie: That’s absolutely right.

Mikey: Here’s the part right here: “But either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives.” “…at the hand of the other.” That kind of says, whoever that Voldemort marked, which is Harry, has to be the one to off him, basically. So, I’m sorry, Jamie.

Jamie: Oh, that sucks.

Mikey: “…the hand of the other.” It’s that right there.

Jamie: But, Mikey, couldn’t Ron be about to kill him, and Harry goes, “Go on, Ron, you can do it, you can do it.” And then he’s died at Harry’s hand because Harry’s encouraged him to do it. There you go. [laughs]

Mikey: I guess, if that’s how you – that’s what this thing is. It’s the interpretation, it’s a prophecy.

Jamie: It is.

Mikey: I definitely think Harry’s…

Kevin: Oh, yeah, without a doubt.

Mikey: …the only one that would be able to destroy the Horcruxes.

Jamie: Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah.

Mikey: But that final strike blow, I think anyone could do it if Voldemort was tied to a chair, broken wand, and unconscious.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs] And dead.

Mikey: I think anyone could do it, but again, I don’t think anyone would do it unless Harry flat out gave a command, order to, or Harry did it himself.

Jamie: But you know about these Horcruxes. The thing that gets me is that Dumbledore, when they went to the cave, Harry had no idea what was going on. He was oblivious. He didn’t know anything. He couldn’t have found the boat, he couldn’t have worked out to give blood to get into the inside, he couldn’t have worked out to drink the thing. And even if he had, what would have happened? I know it’s going to be him who deals with the Horcruxes, but I think it’s going to have to be the problem-solving minds of all of them put together that solves it, rather than…

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, yeah, of course.

Importance Of The Locket

Mikey: Yeah. Actually, that locket has started to give me a lot of questions. You guys have seen all the artwork for the different books, right? If you take a look at the U.S. artwork, he’s wearing that locket around his neck. I was just saying – also, the adult book cover has the locket on it, so I’m thinking that locket is a very significant Horcrux.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely.

Mikey: Just for that sake. Just for that sake. Because why would it be a cover – why would it be a picture of the locket versus a picture of Nagini, or – why is that the Horcrux? And, of course, when you go back, he’s wearing that locket there.

Kevin: It is, it really is.

Mikey: You know what I mean?

Jamie: It’s so Lord of the Rings, it’s unbelievable.

Mikey: It is.

Jamie: He’s going to throw it into Godric’s Hollow…

Mikey: Yes.

Jamie: …where the adventure started and it’s going to melt down.

Voicemail: Did Dumbledore Make A Horcrux?

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast. [message sped up] …Episode 74 or Episode 82, whichever one you prefer. I thought of two ideas. One was that when Dumbledore was talking to Malfoy, Snape used Occlumency to read Dumbledore’s mind or get in there, and Dumbledore was telling Snape what to do, and get here fast. And my second one was when Jo said that Dumbledore’s death was more complex than it really was, she meant maybe that Dumbledore in a higher duel might have killed someone and created a Horcrux then. Only one, maybe, and he’s still out there somehow. Dumbledore is alive! Thank you.

Jamie: Ummm…

Ben: No.

Jamie: Wow, that was very profound.

Ben: No, no, no.

Jamie: He’s not – you can’t question…

Ben: Why would J.K. Rowling say, “He’s dead, Dumbledore is dead.”

Laura: [laughs] Exactly.

Ben: Unless, you know…

Jamie: He’s definitely dead. And also, creating a Horcrux, it’s – it was a banned subject inside Hogwarts. He didn’t want people talking about it. It’s clearly an evil thing, and he’d never bring himself to do that. And he’d have to – he would have to kill someone. He just – I could never see him ever doing it. Ever. Ever. Ever!

Mikey: No.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t think he would, either.

Mikey: Yeah, Dumbledore would never do that.

Laura: Just to get that part of the question out of the way: I don’t think Dumbledore killed anybody, I don’t think he has a Horcrux. He’s dead. Sorry.

Mikey: Oh. I think Dumbledore’s…

Ben: I think he’s killed somebody.

Mikey: But not…

Ben: He doesn’t kill for pleasure like Voldemort does.

Mikey: Yeah.

Laura: Not to use them as a Horcrux.

Ben: Right, right.

Laura: I mean, maybe in self defense.

Mikey: Yeah. He did it out of…

Ben: He did it out of necessity.

Jamie: Justifiable homicide.

Mikey: It’s like killing Hitler.

Jamie: Yeah. That’s pretty fair.

Mikey: Kill one person to save millions of lives.

Jamie: That’s pretty fair, to be honest.

Mikey: He didn’t – it was Grindelwald, you know, so…

Jamie: Yeah. Well, that’s a very interesting thing, but for another show. You know, the Grindelwald timeframe, Nazi Germany, Hitler thing. Very interesting. 1945. But would you…

Laura: Do you think that Snape and Dumbledore were communicating via Occlumency?

Jamie: That’s very interesting. They were staring at each other.

Laura: Yeah.

Mikey: Like Obi-Wan and Luke? “Run, Luke, run!” [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: You know, very. I really don’t – they could have been, but I highly doubt it.

Jamie: Mikey.

Mikey: [laughs] Why would – you know?

Jamie: Mikey.

Mikey: Yes?

Jamie: And then after he Avada Kedavra-ed him, Dumbledore’s cloak just fell to the ground and he completely disappeared, and he didn’t actually fly off the roof.

Mikey: [laughs] Exactly! And, “By destroying me now, I will become more powerful than you could ever imagine.” He’s going to be there. No, I really don’t think they were talking to each other via Occlumency.

Snape’s Stance

Jamie: But it says that – now, this is from memory, so I’m not sure. Doesn’t it say that, “Snape looked at Dumbledore with a look of utmost revulsion on his face”? And it actually says that he stared at him, I think.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: So it could be that he was sending him mind bullets.

Mikey: But didn’t he also – with that look, didn’t he also – wasn’t Dumbledore also saying, “Please?” Saying, “Please, Severus.”

Laura: Yeah, he was saying, “Severus, please.” Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah. And so with that look, like – I would say Snape is just disgusted that he has to kill Dumbledore.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true, because Snape is good.

Mikey: And that Dumbledore is pleading him to kill him.

Laura: I think that’s probably…

Mikey: Snape is good.

Jamie: Of course he is.

Mikey: I agree that Snape is good.

Jamie: Yes, he is. Snape’s very good.

Mikey: Snape has to be good. If he’s bad, it’s just like…

Jamie: It’s not fair.

Mikey: Even if he’s not good, he’s out for himself, so he’s going to end up helping Harry out regardless.

Jamie: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Mikey: So even if he is bad or out for himself, he’s going to help Harry in the end.

Jamie: Yeah, he’s got to.

Mikey: He still owes him a life debt.

Jamie: Help the winner, help the winner. I think so.

Laura: I think that is a good bet.

Occlumency Versus Telepathy

Jamie: One last point about communicating with Occlumency: Can you actually – obviously, you can send if you think something and the other person picks up, but can you just talk telepathically? Can you have a conversation? You just walk into a room and you hear, “Hi, how are you?” “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: Well that’s what we did in Vegas, Jamie.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Mikey: Me, you, and Ben were just talking like that.

Jamie: Yeah, we were.

[Show music begins]

Mikey: And Andrew had no clue what we were saying about him, so we were like, “Simsy! Geez! Come on! Join our conversation!”

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: And he couldn’t figure it out!

Jamie: No. He’s been practicing, though, Mikey…

[Mikey laughs]

Jamie: …so hopefully he’ll have…

Mikey: So by Prophecy we’ll be able to talk about – we’ll be able to record our own podcast in our heads, talking back and forth.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Mikey: Laura, you have to catch up with us if you’re going to want to be part of it.

Jamie: Yeah. Start learning now! [laughs] Go to after-school Occlumency classes.

Show Close

Jamie: And that wraps up our special edition of MuggleCast. Now I’m going to try and do an Andrew here and do it in his voice, so, [imitating Andrew] if you want to contact us, dial 1-218-20-MAGIC. If you want to write to us, write to P.O. Box something, something, something, Moundridge, California.

Ben: That’s me. He says, “Ben? What is it, Ben?”

Jamie: Oh, yeah. And then Ben goes, [imitating Ben] “Moundrige, California.”

Ben: It’s Kansas, actually.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I mean Kansas.

Mikey: California!

Ben: P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas

Jamie: If you want to contact us, go on our Facebook, that is the group MuggleCast. Or, you can go on Frappr Map and see – because we love seeing all you people there. Or you can go on MySpace, that is MuggleCastFan. I’m not actually quite sure. We’ve got 5,000 friends now, so go on there. If you want to call the Skype, use the username MuggleCast, but please keep your message under one minute and eliminate as much background noise as possible.

I’m Andrew Sims – I mean, I’m Jamie Lawrence. Wow, I got so into it there. It was unbelievable.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Kevin: I’m Kevin Steck.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Mikey: And I’m Mikey B.

Jamie: See you guys next week.

Laura: Alright. Bye, bye.

Mikey: Bye.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Briana, Cindy, Jessica, Laura, Leah, Margaret, Matt, Samantha, Sapna, Sarah, Shannon, Shelly, and Tina