MuggleCast 185 Transcript
[Intro music begins]
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[Intro music ends]
[“Hedwig’s Theme” plays]
Jim Dale: [as Professor McGonagall] This is Professor McGonagall welcoming you all to MuggleCast hoping you all enjoyed – Dobby! Dobby, come here! Here! Dobby! [as Dobby] Yes, I’d just like to say how very pleased I am to introduce MuggleCast to all of you! Thank you! Thank you!
[Show music begins]
Micah: Because Ben is starting a new trend in high schools, this is MuggleCast Episode 185 for November 22nd, 2009.
[Show music continues]
Andrew: Welcome to MuggleCast Episode 185. We’re here for another episode. It’s all Potter all the time here on MuggleCast, and do you guys know that we’re now just one year away from Deathly Hallows: Part I?
Matt: Oh snap.
Andrew: Is this sad news? Or is this happy or bittersweet or what’s the feeling?
Ben: I think bittersweet is the word, Andrew.
Matt: I’d have to agree.
Andrew: I would have been really depressed if it was Part II that we’re a year away from, but luckily we’re still about 18 months away from that or a little more than that.
Micah: Well for right now we’re one year away, you never know with Warner Brothers.
Andrew: [laughs] Right.
Matt: They can delay it three years.
Andrew: I don’t know. I’m still sticking with the theory that they can move it up to Summer because I think, from a filming perspective, it will be ready in time, but I don’t know. So we’re about a year away from the film’s release and it’s pretty sad. Well it’s not sad. It’s bittersweet as Ben said. We have a great episode for everyone today, we’re going to go through Chapter-by-Chapter, we’re going to bring an old segment back we haven’t done in a while and of course discuss the news. I’m Andrew Sims.
Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.
Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum
Matt: I’m Matt Britton.
Nick: And I’m Nick Myers.
Ben: Matt, it sounded like you forgot who you were for a second.
Micah: Yeah, I was going to say.
Matt: It’s been a couple months since I’ve been on.
[Show music continues]
Andrew: All right Micah, what’s in the news this week?
News: Ultimate Edition Previews
Micah: You know Andrew; I’m actually kind of disappointed with something that was in the news. This first point here, direct download links for the ultimate edition previews of both Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets. What’s the deal with putting all this stuff online? Isn’t the idea to go and buy the DVD, you bring it home, you watch it. Now all this stuff is available for people just to go online they watch it, they don’t need to buy the DVD.
Andrew: Well, this is all promotional material. There’s going to be an hour from each of these DVDs with the behind the scenes look. I think it’s an hour for each of them. Right?
Ben: And that hasn’t been released, has it?
Micah: Not yet.
Andrew: But what we’re seeing are clips from what the hour long special on each of these DVDs is going to be.
Ben: Oh, so they’re trying to whet our appetites.
Ben: Make us – try to make us go out and get the DVD when it does come out.
Andrew: That’s right. I think it’s kind of cool. I mean, has anyone watched these clips?
Nick: Yeah, I agree with Micah. They’re giving too much away I think.
Andrew: Aw, you guys. You’re just so – you’re spoiled.
Matt: It’s a great novelty, but I mean…
Matt: There is a lot though. I mean if they released just a few of them then I could – I don’t see any problem with it, but dang it looks like there are eighteen videos.
Andrew: Okay well yeah, there are a lot…
Andrew: …but they’re all a couple of minutes. I don’t know.
Micah: This would be the opposite of being spoiled. We don’t want to be spoiled, that’s the whole point. I mean if you’re going to go out there and spend money on this collection of DVDs for both the movies – I mean it’s good to have maybe one video that you put out there that showcases the ultimate editions, but to have all of this stuff? I mean it’s, I don’t know, I don’t agree with that.
Micah: Bad move by Warner Brothers.
Andrew: Well I think they’re really just trying to promote it and you know this is sort of what happens with all the clips from all the movies. There’s a ton of movie clips. Maybe they’re confident there’s tons of material – I don’t know.
Ben: Micah what if I can’t afford the DVD?
Ben: Are you telling me I shouldn’t at least be able to get a glimpse of it?
Ben: Come on Micah.
[Matt and Nick laugh]
Andrew: Rebuttal Micah?
Ben: Come on.
Micah: No, no that’s a really good point.
Micah: Go torrent download it.
Andrew: Well these clips are cool. There’s a lot of great insight we get into the making of the first two films, and I think the insight into these two films are going to be most interesting out of all the ultimate editions because this is the start of everything, and one of the clips that we see has Chris Columbus and David Heyman talking about their relationship with one another, their working relationship and they also focus a lot on the – getting the kids to act because this was the – for Dan, Emma, and Rupert this was their first, very first film.
Ben: This was back in the day man.
Andrew: Well big film. Dan did one other film – or two other films before this – very small.
Matt: I think he did two.
Andrew: And they – one interesting thing that we learned is they had multiple cameras rolling for every – for almost every scene that they were in because they wanted to make sure they got the best shot of each person in every take because they never knew when they were going to miss an opportunity because these kids just weren’t experienced enough, and that’s rare in – I’m going to turn into Mikey B. for a second – that’s rare for filming because usually they just use one camera at a time.
Andrew: They filmed this more like a sitcom sort of style you know where its multiple cameras going at once.
Andrew: Or documentary style.
Matt: Well also the way that they were talking about it, it seemed like David Heyman and Chris Columbus – it seemed like it was a big job for them. It was almost like annoying to the fact that the kids just couldn’t do it in some takes.
Andrew: Yeah they said it was really hard, and plus they had school. You know they had to get scenes in before they had to go get tutored and all that, so.
Micah: It was interesting listening to David Heyman talk about how Chris Columbus really didn’t have to listen to anything he said.
Micah: David Heyman was kind of the J.K. Rowling – oh what’s the word?
Andrew: Of the series?
Micah: He was put – yeah he was so into the books and he basically said Chris didn’t have to pay any attention to what he was saying but he really kind of listened to everything he had to say.
Andrew: Right. So these are coming out December 8th along with the Half Blood Prince DVD. I am really excited for these, but I’m starting to think I’m going to ask for the ultimate editions for Christmas.
Micah: We should plug that section we created for the ultimate DVDs. What do you think?
Andrew: Yeah. Absolutely.
Micah: Where all these links are now available there.
Micah: So you can go over there and watch to your heart’s content if you can’t afford the DVD.
Andrew: Yeah just go to MuggleNet.com and on the left side under movies there’s a link for ultimate edition DVDs and it’s your one stop – it’s the ultimate resource for the ultimate edition DVDs.
Ben: Ultimate – ultimate – ultimate.
Andrew: Super ultimate.
Micah: There is another cool video, just to bring it up real fast.
Micah: Where they are talking about Dan and how originally his parents didn’t want him to take the role.
Andrew: Yeah! And then…
Ben: I bet they’d be kicking themselves over that one.
Micah: Yeah really.
Matt: [laughs] Yeah.
Andrew: Well yeah because their parents said they thought it was too big for him. He wouldn’t – what was the wording Micah? Like they didn’t…
Micah: No, you got it right.
Micah: They thought it would be too much for him to take on.
Andrew: Yeah, and then by some weird coincidence David Heyman was with – who was it? I’m forgetting the story. They were at this theater…
Micah: He was with Steve Kloves.
Andrew: Steve Kloves yeah, and they – they were sitting near Dan and his parents. And David Heyman kept turning back to look at Dan like, “Oh my god, he’s perfect, he’s perfect, he’s perfect.” And Dan – there’s an interview with him on the Chamber of Secrets set, and on the Deathly Hallows set re-telling that story, where he’s like, seeing this guy looking at him, but he’s like, “why does he keep staring at me?” [laughs]. It’s a pretty wild twist of fate, and a really cool story.
Ben: I’d be creeped out if I was in public.
Matt: Yeah, seriously.
Ben: Like, some weird dude just kept like, turning around looking at me.
Matt: You’re like ten years old and some old guy just keeps staring back in front of you for like ten really long seconds.
Andrew: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind a guy checking me out if it meant I was going to be in the top grossing franchise of all time.
Ben: Good point.
[Andrew, Ben, and Micah laugh]
Matt: Yeah, there you go.
Andrew: Micah, what else is going on?
News: Dan’s Voice Headed for The Simpsons
Micah: Well speaking of Dan, he’s set to star in an upcoming episode of The Simpsons.
Ben: Now wait a second, Micah, come on dude, you made this up. Come on.
Andrew: No, this is real.
Micah: I made it up?
Ben: Yeah, come on.
Micah: Oh, oh, you mean, the news is supposed to actually come from a source?
Ben: Yeah, exactly. Oh, well no, no, I mean, The Simpsons is a cartoon, and Daniel Radcliffe is a human.
Micah: Oh, oh, I see what you mean.
Andrew: He’s going to be voicing a character!
Ben: So he’s not actually going to be the star in it. Let’s just get that…
Micah: No he’s not. You’re right.
Ben: …so people don’t get confused.
Micah: You know, I appreciate you looking out for me like that. I don’t want to be making those types of mistakes.
Andrew: So, go ahead, to tell us the details.
Micah: So he’ll be in – playing a character…
Micah: …in the upcoming episode of The Simpsons but the episode won’t be aired until next year, around Halloween time. I think he’s going to be on their Halloween show.
Andrew: Yeah, and it’s going to be a Twilight spoof, he’s going to be playing a character called Edmond. And, that should be pretty funny. I’m surprised their announcing this so far in advance, like, because you know, the last Halloween special just came out.
Micah: That’s true. I wonder how far in advance they do these?
Matt: Well, I would think it doesn’t take that long to an episode of The Simpsons though.
Matt: I mean, they’ve been chucking them out for like, twenty years now.
Micah: That’s true.
Andrew: Well, that’s why I’m wondering why they announced this so far in advanced. It almost seemed like a joke because it was so far ahead. But, I guess maybe they’re going to time it around the release of the movie. But yeah, that’s pretty cool. I know a lot of people were happy to see that because I think Dan once said, that was one of his dreams was to be in The Simpsons so, because I think he’s a big fan of the show, so…
Ben: Sometimes dreams really do come true.
Andrew: That’s so right.
News: Harry Potter Spells App
Micah: Well the final piece of news, there was a Harry Potter spells app for the iPhone and the iPod Touch that was released this past week, and there’s an instructional video that Warner Brothers – I guess it was Warner Brothers who sent it along?
Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, yeah.
Micah: I didn’t know from the e-mail, like, random people sending you…
Micah: …instructional videos. But the guy who created the app actually sat down and created a video for those people who bought it so they can learn how to properly use…
Andrew: Yeah, here’s the thing. This app came out this past Monday, and I got to be honest with you, it was very hard to work. For something that should be simple, where you’re just making these simple gestures, I had a very difficult time learning it, and I posted a review on MuggleNet and, I’m not saying this guy made the video just because I was complaining, but I think a lot of people complained about it. So, they released this video, and it’s so cheesy.
Micah: It really is.
Andrew: Some guy is holding up a camera for the guy who made the app. And they whole time he does the spells, he’s looking straight at the camera, and it’s just like creepy. [laughs] And he tries to teach you how to do it, and he can do the spells right, but like, I’ve tried it, it’s impossible. Nick, did you get the app? Don’t you have an iPhone or something…
Nick: No, I read your review and decided not to get it in the end.
Andrew: Oh. [laughs]
Nick: I love the fans who made excuses for it, saying that it’s hard to learn spells in the books, so it should be just as hard as to perform to perform them on the iPhone.
Andrew: Oh, that’s nonsense.
Matt: I completely agree though. I mean, I’m all ready to Avada Kedavra Andrew.
Andrew: Are you really?
Matt: Well no, but I’m close.
Andrew: What were you saying Ben?
Ben: I was just saying, how much did this app cost?
Micah: Ten bucks?
Andrew: Four ninety-nine.
Matt: Eight thousand dollars.
Andrew: It’s pretty expensive for an app.
Ben: Especially one that doesn’t even work right.
Andrew: [laughs] Right. I mean it’s a cool idea and concept and the technology built into the iPhone makes perfect sense in terms of turning it into a wand app and I hope they improve it. It’s just ridiculous how difficult it is to cast these spells. I’m telling you, this guy made this video just because it’s so hard to work. He makes it look easy, but trust me, it is not.
Ben: Well he’s just on a different level than you.
Micah: It’s funny though. [laughs] Yeah, clearly. Watching that video it’s weird because like you said he makes it seem so easy. You ask yourself the question why would you even buy this app in the first place.
Micah: But, you’re giving out all these complaints so it must be pretty bad. And that’s all the news.
Ben: Wow, Micah.
Andrew: It’s been a kind of slow news week. Of course when the DVD is released we will have plenty to talk about then.
Ben: Oh tonnes.
Andrew: It will probably be our next episode.
Andrew: Before we move along we would like to remind everyone again that this week’s episode is brought to you by Audible.com, the leading provider in spoken word entertainment. You can get a free audio book today by visiting AudiblePodcast.com/MuggleCast/. These audio books can be put on your MP3 player and listened to anywhere just like MuggleCast. If you’re looking for a good book to try, I’d recommend The Magicians by Lev Grossman. It’s a thrilling and original coming-of-age novel about a young man practicing magic in the real world. I’ve just started listening to it on Audible and I love it! I highly recommend it.
Again, visit AudiblePodcast.com/MuggleCast to get a free Audiobook.
Muggle Mail: The Deathday Party
Andrew: Okay, so let’s get into Muggle Mail now and then we will move along to Chapter-by-Chapter. Ben, could you read the first e-mail?
Ben: I would love to Andrew! Josh, 20, from Moon Park, California – Andrew, where is Moon Park California?
Andrew: I don’t know. I’ll Google Map and let you know how far away.
Matt: Wait, Moorpark, right?
Ben: Moorpark, sorry. Not Moon Park, my bad. Moorpark, California. Thanks Matt.
Matt: You’re welcome, Ben.
Ben: Josh writes:
“Hi MuggleCast hosts! I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the Deathday Party’s omission from the second movie. I know time didn’t allow for this scene, but they must have been planning it in the early drafts of the script. On the ‘Chamber of Secrets’ DVD, disc two go to Behind Hogwarts and click on ‘Gallery of Productions Sketches.’ Click right twice, and click on the bottom right portrait. Then you will see an artist’s rendering of the Deathday scene. So at what point in production do you think this scene was cut?”
Andrew: Yeah, I wonder what happened with that. Do you think maybe it was a budget thing because obviously it would take a lot of money to come up with a scene where there are hundreds of ghosts? I wonder if it was just for budget purposes.
Ben: Maybe they just had so much to do they couldn’t be bothered.
Micah: It wasn’t a deleted scene?
Andrew: No, no. It wasn’t a deleted scene. It seems like they were planning on including it and got to the production sketches but then – it disappeared.
Ben: The lost scene.
[Andrew and Matt laugh]
Matt: Maybe it just slowed down the pace? Maybe they just realized it would slow down the movie a little bit?
Matt: So they just decided to cut it.
Andrew: Yeah, I think there is probably a variety of reasons why they decided to cut it, but I had forgotten that there was a production.
Micah: So how did they change the movie? I’m forgetting now.
Andrew: It wasn’t included.
Micah: No, no. I’m saying because after that is when they find Mrs. Norris. What did they do to change it around so that they took that scene out?
Andrew: Was it after they went to eat?
Matt: Oh, yeah it was after – I know Nearly Headless Nick grabbed him after he came out of the Great Hall or something and asked if he could come with him.
Andrew: Something like that.
Andrew: Anyway, Nick, could you read the next e-mail?
Muggle Mail: Rubeus Schoen
Nick: Yeah, sure. Next e-mail is from Kelly. She is 18, and from Massachusetts. She writes:
“Hey MuggleCast! This is Kelly. I have been listening to your show starting with Episode 173 and have never sent an e-mail before now. I was listening to your latest show, 184, and at 5:03 to 5:06, Ben Schoen nearly made me die with laughter when he said ‘Rubeus Hagrid” and again at 5:28-5:29 in that crazy accent. Haha, for some reason I just find it hilarious and now it’s an inside joke at my school. My friends and I will just start laughing. All I have to say is that Ben, you should talk in that accent more often because it really is funny. Keep up the great work, MuggleCast. Can’t wait for the next show. Peace.”
Andrew: So look at that Ben. You made a new fan.
Matt: You made a new phrase at that school.
Ben: [as Hagrid] Awesome! [as himself] What’s that? What did you say, Matt?
Matt: You made a new catch phrase, too, at that school.
Ben: You know, I’m a trendsetter, that’s what they tell me.
Micah: Can you do one for us?
Ben: [as Hagrid] Rubeus!
Micah: Yeah, there we go.
Nick: Can you give us a “Rubeus Hagrid”?
Ben: [as Hagrid] Micah!
Andrew: Say, “Micah, what’s in the news?”
Ben: [as Hagrid] Micah, what’s in the news?
Ben: [as Hagrid] Rubeus Hagrid! Rahh!
Andrew: That never gets old!
Ben: I know!
Andrew: It’s really good!
Ben: It’s been going on for years, man!
Andrew: We’re going to have to come up with scenes for you. Because you know how you always say the same things? Which is good, but we’re going to need to come up with some new material for you.
Matt: Change it up a bit.
Ben: Yeah, I’ve been saying this stuff for like four years.
Micah: How about “Great man, Dumbledore”?
Ben: [as Dumbledore] Dumbledore?
Andrew: No, no, no. Say it as Hagrid.
Ben: Huh? Oh.
Andrew: “Dumbledore’s a great man” or something.
Ben: [as Hagrid] Dumbledore! [laughs] That’s all I can say. I’m done.
Ben: I am not some machine you put quarters in…
Ben: That just replies, just goes on command! I have a soul. I am a human being.
[Andrew and Matt laugh]
Andrew: All right. Matt, could you read the next e-mail?
Muggle Mail: Where’s Binns?
Matt: Yeah. Our next e-mail comes from Danny F., 15, of Philadelphia, and Danny writes:
“Hey, MuggleCast! I’m a big fan of the show. I love it. Specifically, the reinstitution of Chapter-by-Chapter. What has always tickled…”
What has always tickled?
“What has always ticked me off is the movie/book difference of McGonagall telling the Chamber, not Binns. More so, you guys agreed with the movie change. I love the idea of Binns – an ancient ghost telling a strict, lifeless interpretation of the myth, and watching such a consistently monotone, stiff character become vulnerable when dealing with the paranoia and insanity that comes with the Chamber. It would give such an interesting spin to the movie and add a little darkness. Andrew was right by saying that McGonagall’s class was such an odd time for a question and the way she answered was a forced, anticlimactic scene that could have been much better. It was a lazy move on the part of whoever incorporated that part. Thanks again. Love the show. P.S. Where’s Laura?”
Andrew: See, that was my point exactly!
Ben: What? Where’s Laura?
Matt: Where’s Laura?
Micah: Yeah. Where is Laura?
Andrew: No, no. Not that part.
Ben: Well, no, I mean, I don’t like this e-mail.
Ben: First of all, they said Andrew was right, which…
Ben: …we all know can’t be true.
Andrew: I don’t appreciate that. I just think it would’ve been cool coming from Binns. It could have been an extra eerie scene where he’s like, you know, he’s like Dumbledore. He’s just very old and very – I don’t know what the line is, but…
Ben: I wouldn’t say I was ticked off by it being McGonagall. I mean, I understood, for ease…
Andrew: Could be a very passionate fan.
Ben: Yeah, that’s true…
Nick: I appreciate the fact that introducing a new character in this scene would have taken more than just giving it to a regular and letting them pass off that line.
Micah: Right. I think it goes back…
Matt: Well, also…
Micah: Go ahead.
Matt: I was just going to say – the adult actors too – they don’t really have that many lines to begin with, so maybe they just threw Maggie Smith a bone and just had her say it.
Micah: Yeah. Well, I think it goes back the point, Andrew, you were making before about not having the Deathday party in for budget reasons. It could be the same thing with Binns. I mean, why waste money on putting him in there?
Micah: The whole point was to show that for the first time, I think, in the entire series, and probably throughout all the books, Binns’ class is actually interesting and students care what he has to say.
Micah: If you go back to the book.
Andrew: Well, I don’t know. We won’t dwell on it. The past is in the past and what can we say? But, also, Danny mentioned where’s Laura – has she not been on in a while? But I…
Andrew: [laughs] I really can’t remember! But she’ll be back on soon. She’s actually going to be studying abroad this next semester, in the Spring, so there’s going to be a period where she’s not on for like six months though.
Matt: Six months! [laughs]
Andrew: We’ll make her come on these next couple of episodes. She couldn’t this weekend because of travelling home for Thanksgiving.
Ben: Hey, is this the third episode I’ve been on in a row?
Andrew: Yeah. Congratulations, Ben.
Ben: Congrats to me.
Andrew: This is the 200th episode I’ve been on in a row. [laughs]
Ben: They call that a streak, my friend.
Andrew: It’s like a heat wave. Three days above 90 is a heat wave. This is a Ben wave.
Ben: A Ben wave.
Andrew: Three episodes with Ben. Okay, next e-mail is from Jamie. Jamie Lawrence is now a listener of the show. He’s decided to stop hosting…
Ben: He gave up, he gave it up.
[Andrew and Ben laugh]
Andrew: It’s easier to just listen!
MuggleCast 185 Transcript (continued)
Muggle Mail: Leaving the Muggle World Behind
“First off, of course, I have to say that I adore the show. You guys are amazing.”
Ben: Aw, thanks Jamie.
Andrew: Aw, well thank you. [laughs]
“This question has been bothering me for a while and I figure there is no one better to ask than the MuggleCasters. What happens to Muggle-borns’ friends once they go to Hogwarts? Before they know they’re Wizards or Witches, a lot of them have to have Muggle friends when they’re young. But once they get their letter, how do they manage to hide that stuff from friends and friends’ families? They can’t just ignore them forever. And how would they get removed from the school system unnoticed? Wouldn’t people begin to ask questions? Just thought I’d bring this up. I love you all. Peace, love, and Potter, Jamie Lawrence.”
Andrew: It’s actually just Jamie, by the way. This kind of relates to our discussion the other day about the – how the Muggle parents get brought into the Wizarding World and how can they keep it all a secret.
Ben: Well, I think people, of course, would begin to ask questions. That’s no doubt. But I think they would probably adopt a similar strategy to that of what the Dursleys did, except not such a terrible school. The Dursleys told everybody that Harry went to Smeltings, I believe?
Ben: Is it Smeltings? No. Stonewall? Stone…
Micah: Smeltings is where Dudley went, I think.
Ben: Yeah. That’s where Dudley went.
Matt: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Ben: Harry went to – oh, yeah – they said that – oh – St. Brutus’…
Andrew: Yeah, that’s it.
Matt: Yeah, that’s it.
Ben: Incurably – Criminally Insane something. Some special school for insane kids pretty much.
Ben: So I’m guessing if he had a family member who was wondering, “Where is your kid going to school? I thought – why isn’t he in public school anymore?” you’d probably just say, “Oh, I got him into this private boarding school off wherever.” And then you go away for the year and nobody really asks questions.
Andrew: Right. I think that’s an interesting theory, but maybe there’s some sort of permission that can be given. I just think that’s kind of a big gap in the whole – it’s a whole – what’s the word? Dark area – I don’t know – unsolved area of the series how that sort of thing is dealt with. I’d like to hear…
Nick: I’m not sure – oh, sorry.
Andrew: I’d like to hear Jo’s take on it. Go ahead.
Nick: I was going to say I’m not certain, but I think we change from primary to secondary school around that age. So, it would likely be the case that they’re all moving to different schools anyway so you can easily slip under the radar and your friends wouldn’t all go to the same place anyway.
Andrew: Ah, yeah.
Nick: That make sense?
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and the last e-mail for today. Micah, could you please read that one?
Ben: Bring it on home, Micah.
Micah: All right.
Muggle Mail: Hardest Book For Harry?
Micah: Last e-mail comes from Mariel, 13, of New York, and she says:
“Hi MuggleCast, I’m a huge fan. I just listened to Episode 184 and you were discussing which book you thought was the hardest for Harry. I agree with Book 7 being the hardest for Harry, but I’m surprised you didn’t bring up ‘Goblet of Fire.’ In that book, Harry is thrown into this competition that many have died in and his best friend turns on him like most of the school because they think he cheated. He’s forced to deal with people turning against him because they prefer Cedric. By the end of the book, Cedric, who is becoming his friend, has been killed. Voldemort has risen again and Harry viewed the whole thing and was part of it by force and a teacher who he trusted turned out to be a traitor. So much has been thrown on him in this book which leads to some angst in ‘Order of the Phoenix.’ Love the show and I enjoy you guys. Keep up the great work. My favorites are Andrew, Matt, Jamie, and Mikey. See, Mikey? I didn’t forget you.”
Andrew: [laughs] Well, I think she’s absolutely right. We didn’t discuss that at all. I mean, how ironic would it have been for Harry to have died in the Triwizard Tournament? He was faced with very, very real danger and it’s just insane that he was put into that and actually came out of it alive. I mean, I can’t believe Dumbledore even risked it. He must have really had faith in Harry.
Ben: No, the Goblet of Fire represents a magically binding contract, Andrew.
Andrew: No, but – you’re absolutely right, but it just scares me to think what could have happened.
Matt: I know. [sniffs]
Micah: Jo wouldn’t have let it happen.
Andrew: Yeah, that’s true.
Matt: She said seven books.
Andrew: So that does it for Muggle Mail this week. And now let’s get into Chapter-by-Chapter. This week we’re discussing chapters ten through twelve of Chamber of Secrets. We’re actually about half way through this book already. I love these short books. They go by so quick. And these three chapters focus on learning more about who opened the Chamber of Secrets. And these chapters focus on getting everything ready to create the Polyjuice Potion.
Chapter-by-Chapter: The Rogue Bludger
Micah: All right. So let’s start with Chapter Ten: ‘The Rogue Bludger.’ And at the very beginning of it, Harry gets pulled in front of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Lockhart has him act like a Werewolf.
Micah: And so the first thing that came to mind was with Prisoner of Azkaban following, do you guys think that this was a little bit of foreshadowing on Jo’s part that she threw in there?
Andrew: I think it kind of was. It was kind of a goofy scene too. I actually didn’t think about that until you brought it up. But, yeah, I think it was definitely a little foreshadowing there.
Micah: Now, with the whole Polyjuice Potion, Hermione figures that the best way to figure out how to brew it is to get a book out of the restricted section of the library. And so you see this whole scene between Harry, Ron, and Hermione trying to figure out, well, who would they possibly get permission from to be able to take this book out? And the obvious answer is, of course, Lockhart. And it’s just funny reading this book over, seeing how dense his character is. I mean, as long as his ego is essentially stroked, he’s going to do absolutely anything that anybody wants him to do.
Micah: Do you guys agree with that?
Ben: Well, that’s all it takes.
Nick: Yeah, definitely. I mean, even Ron says Lockhart would sign anything if it stands still long enough…
Andrew: Yeah, Exactly.
Nick: He just wants to – it’s all about him.
Andrew: It was an interesting way to continue advancing this plot by including this character who would really do anything for them. I’m not saying it’s sort of luck or anything, but I think that was just a really good way for Jo to continue to advance the plot thanks to Lockhart’s help through his arrogance.
Micah: Well, when you guys were reading did you ever think he was this fraud before you got to the end of the book?
Andrew: Well, I can’t remember the first time. I mean, I was like twelve. But, I think it was clear that this guy was pretty messed up, and it became increasingly obvious as we’ll discuss a little bit later. It just became increasingly obvious that this guy was messed up. I mean, especially with turning Harry’s bone into – or removing the bone from his arm. I mean, that was a big clue.
Ben: Yeah, and not only that, but I guess it kind of threw us off because typically Hermione’s usually right about everything…
Ben: …and Ron is wrong. And Ron’s going on about how much of a git he is and then Hermione is – of course she’s infatuated with him so she has a hard time seeing through him. But like I said, yeah, Hermione’s usually right so this time it’s just a time when things are switched around a bit.
Andrew: Do you think Ron kept calling out Lockhart’s B.S. when – just because Hermione was so infatuated with him? Maybe was Ron a little jealous that Hermione was giving Lockhart – was in love with Lockhart and not him?
Nick: Yeah, quite probably. He calls him a brainless git straight after Hermione sticks up for him, so it would make sense.
Micah: All right. Well, speaking of Hermione, I wanted to ask you guys, why is she so hell bent on breaking the rules? I mean, this is a complete sort of diversion from her normal character and this whole plan about brewing Polyjuice Potion just seems really outlandish. So I’m wondering, deep down inside does she have this really strong hatred for Malfoy after she was called a Mudblood and is that what’s really making her want to break the rules?
Matt: Well, the whole situation I think is more personal to her than it is for the other two in the trio. Because they’re attacking Mudbloods which she essentially is. In the book she wasn’t really – she didn’t even know what a Mudblood was at first. At least in the book she didn’t.
Matt: And then Ron had to explain it to her. So I think really the fact is that she’s taking it upon herself – because she does that throughout the series, where she feels like she feels she has to protect – like what she did that with the house elves and everything. So, I think that’s probably what’s bringing it out of her is the fact that it hits closer home to her than it would to the other trio. That’s why she’s kind of taking the lead on the situation.
Micah: Right. She even says, “I think threatening Muggle-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion.”
Matt: Yeah, exactly.
Micah: So, it’s just surprising and somewhat out of character because there’s so much that could go wrong with this plan.
Andrew: Yeah, I think she was definitely motivated by the whole “Mudblood” thing, and I think she just really wants to get to the bottom of it and I don’t think she sees any other way to solve this without breaking the rules. Do you think that’s a fair assessment?
Ben: Well, not only that, but you’ve got to look at a character like Hermione who’s been locked inside a cage of her own creation for a number of years, I would say. Well, I mean, not really a cage but she’s just very by-the-book. So, maybe deep down, she definitely has a side of her that wants to rebel and the rules are really just guidelines. If you need to step outside of them to do what is right then it’s okay. I guess.
Andrew: Yeah, and she even brings up a point soon after this about – well, actually, I think it’s later in one of these chapters she mentions that she’ll risk sneaking into Snape’s office too since they already have – since she has a clean record whereas Harry and Ron don’t, which I thought was pretty funny.
Micah: Yeah. All right, well, moving on, the Quidditch match with Slytherin arrives – big anticipated sporting event. And we talked last week – or was it two weeks ago? – about brooms and we had a pretty long discussion about – sort of – is it fair that one team has better brooms than the other. And, I thought, going back to that, Oliver Wood made a good point when he says that despite having better brooms – Slytherin – Gryffindor has better people. I know that was an argument that somebody brought up on the last show and I can’t remember who it was. It’s not about the broom, it’s about who’s riding it.
Andrew: But is that true? I mean, Draco’s not a good player, but they brought him on because of the brooms.
Nick: Don’t you think it made the win more meaningful though? The fact that they had these lesser brooms and that…
Andrew: Oh, definitely.
Nick: …it was talent over the equipment and it really stuck it to Malfoy that they…
Andrew: I guess – yeah, I guess you’re right in that regard.
Ben: But if you have two people of equal skill…
Ben: …and one’s riding a Firebolt and the other’s riding a Cleansweep then the person on the Firebolt’s going to win every time. No doubt about it.
Ben: If they have equal skill, then the broom’s going to make all the difference.
Andrew: Yeah, but Oliver is still right in that it is about the people because I think it may be very hard for two Seekers to possibly be matched in their skills because it’s such a very precise kind of role in the game of Quidditch that I think each person would have their own special ability, whether it’s being able to see it from a very far distance away or possibly hearing it.
Matt: Well, it’s also based on your judgment of the Snitch, too. You have to try to actually kind of think like the Snitch, too, if you want to go really deep into it.
Micah: Yeah, and Malfoy just proves the point wholeheartedly by the fact that the Snitch was hovering above his ear for so long during the match and he had absolutely no clue.
Andrew: Yeah. I mean, he’s an idiot. He may not even know what it sounds like. I can’t even imagine why he couldn’t even – he didn’t even hear it. He was just so focused on Harry.
Micah: All right so the match continues and Harry ends up getting the Snitch, Gryffindor wins, and, of course, he hurts himself and who comes to the rescue but Professor Lockhart. I made the point that he continues to show the fact that he’s this inept fraud, and he completely removes the bones from Harry’s arm.
Micah: So, I mean, to me – maybe it was a lot easier to see in the movie because of all the effects that they can put into it, but when I’m reading the book now I can kind of see how all the clues were there all along that Lockhart is just this big fake.
Andrew: Well, yeah, and I think we’re going to bring this up in a bit, but somebody – I guess we can discuss it now – somebody sent this Twitter question in. It was from Hermanth, and she or he wonders:
“Why are the other professors not stopping Lockhart when he is trying to mend Harry’s arm, knowing that he is going to do something disastrous?”
I mean, that’s what I’m wondering because whose – and Harry tried to rebel. He was like, “No, please don’t – don’t fix it. I’ll go to – I’ll go into the castle and get it mended by the nurse.” But I’m just wondering why didn’t anyone else stop him? Everybody knew that was a disaster waiting to happen.
Micah: It’s a good question. I mean, where were the other professors?
Andrew: I don’t know. Maybe Lockhart just ran ahead of everyone because he wanted to save the day again.
Andrew: But even then it’s just ruining his reputation. I don’t even get why he tries.
Micah: I wonder – that’s a good question though. What does someone like Dumbledore think every time one of these events happens and he sees Lockhart just completely…
Andrew: Yeah, why does he let him go?
Micah: …screwing up?
Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.
Ben: Well, you’ve got to also keep in mind that Dumbledore hired – you’ve also got to keep in mind that Dumbledore hired Gilderoy Lockhart knowing that there was a curse on the position. So obviously – I mean, he probably didn’t care too much about him.
Micah: That’s true.
Andrew: Yeah, but still he should – he should care about Harry. So – I don’t know. Maybe he wasn’t there.
Micah: All right. So Harry does end up going to the hospital and we learned after a while that Dobby showing up – that Dobby was the one responsible for blocking the barrier at Kings Cross Station. And he mentions that he had to burn his hands afterwards. And I know we had a discussion a couple of episodes back about whether he was doing all this on Lucius’ orders or if he was doing it of – as kind of his own desire. And doesn’t this kind of prove that he does indeed care about Harry? And – because he says, he thought that by doing all this Harry would be safe. But my question is, why would he have to burn his hands if he doesn’t really have any allegiance to Harry in the first place?
Andrew: Isn’t this – isn’t that exactly why, because – because he’s burning his hands because he’s still loyal to the Malfoys?
Micah: Oh okay. No, that’s a good point.
Micah: But is he doing that because of the Malfoys or is he doing it because he’s preventing Harry from doing something that he wants to do?
Andrew: I think he’s…
Micah: Or is it a little bit of both?
Andrew: I think he’s very conflicted. I think he wants to help Harry, but knows he can’t. So the way he’s punishing himself is by burning his hands. But on the other hand he’s still trying to help Harry. So maybe his – his thinking is, “Oh, I’ll help Harry but I’ll still punish myself. That way I’m still loyal to the Malfoys because I’m punishing myself, but I’m still helping Harry.” [laughs] I don’t know. It’s very convoluted thinking but…
Micah: Well, right. And there’s a great quote that Dobby says. He says, “If he knew what he means to us, to the lowly, the enslaved, we dregs of the magical world!”
Micah: It just really shows you what house-elves think of themselves and how they really don’t give them any sort of status.
Andrew: Yeah. I…
Micah: How Harry Potter means so much to them.
Andrew: Yeah, and – and – and Dobby mentions that the – the view – the perspective on house-elves has changed over the years thanks in part to Harry killing – or Harry sort of defeating Voldemort.
Micah: Then we learn that house-elves can be freed by being presented with clothing, and obviously this has a bigger implication at the end of the book, but interesting how it started then.
Ben: Hey Micah, if you could have a house-elf, would you?
Micah: I don’t think I would.
Andrew: Why not?
Nick: I don’t see why you’d need one. Magic would make your life easier anyway. I don’t see a specific need for one.
Andrew: Well, us – us humans are still naturally lazy. So even with magic we could be like, “I don’t feel like flicking my wand to do that,” or “I don’t feel like picking up my wand to do that.” I would take a house-elf. I mean, they’re there to work for us.
Micah: Would you treat it fairly?
Matt: Oh sorry.
Andrew: I would be nice to it.
Andrew: I mean, what do you mean, treat it fairly?
Ben: How can you treat a slave fairly, to begin with?
Micah: [laughs] Exactly. Yeah.
Andrew: Well, still. I wouldn’t hit it or make it punish itself. I would treat it like Harry has. Like Harry treated Kreacher.
Matt: Yeah but Harry set Kreacher – he set Dobby free. And Kreacher will never leave.
Andrew: Yeah, but Harry still treated Kreacher kindly especially when Kreacher started respecting Harry.
Andrew: I think there’s – I think there would be a way to do it. And I mean, these house-elves are – are programmed to be these slaves for wizards, and hey, if they’re going to do that I’m certainly not going to stop them. I’ll make them cook food for me, sure, why not? Ben, would you have a house-elf? I think you would.
Ben: No, I’m not cruel or inhumane.
[Matt and Micah laugh]
Micah: Yeah, I agree with Ben.
Andrew: I’m not being cruel or inhumane.
Ben: I have more respect for life than that.
Andrew: I’m being resourceful.
Matt: Andrew just needs staff around the house.
Ben: Yeah, yeah, like those – those – the white Southerners in the 1800s. They were just being resourceful.
Andrew: This is a bit different.
Micah: All right, should we move on?
Andrew: Yes, please. I’m digging myself a hole.
Micah: All right, so the biggest piece of information we get out of this conversation is that the Chamber of Secrets was opened before. And Harry wants to know from Dobby, well, why would I be in danger, I’m not Muggle-born. And I think, having read the whole series, we talked about Dobby knowing about the Horcrux in the first few chapters, but I think it’s becoming clear, he does in fact know that Harry is in danger from this diary. And there’s that scene where Harry talks about not wanting to leave because Hermione would be in danger and Dobby all about has an orgasm when he hears that Harry’s willing to risk himself for his friends.
Micah: So, towards the end of this conversation Colin Creevey gets brought in petrified into the nurse’s wing, and we hear this whole conversation between Dumbledore and McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey. And Dumbledore asks the question, or who was it – was it McGonagall who asks the question, who opened the Chamber of Secrets? And Dumbledore says, “It’s not who, but how.” But aren’t both relevant? Are you guys…
Andrew: Well, I think maybe – maybe Dumbledore has a hunch at this point? I mean, he’s a smart guy. He was there for the last time it opened. So I think he was on to something.
Ben: Well, he probably – he knew that Voldemort – I mean, that Tom Riddle was the Heir of Slytherin, right?
Andrew: I think so.
Ben: So he would know that only the – only the Heir could open this. So he would definitely have an idea.
Micah: You think Dumbledore was scared at all at this point, because obviously…
Ben: Dumbledore scared? Come on, Micah.
Andrew: Yeah, I – no, no, I think he was scared, why wouldn’t he be? I mean, there’s someone petrifying students at school. Even though – even though Dumbledore may have a plan in the back of his head, or maybe…
Ben: Oh come on, fear isn’t Dumbledore’s game.
Andrew: Well, then what do you think he was feeling?
Ben: What was he feeling?
Ben: He was just – poised. He’s like the Zen Master man.
Matt: Mr. Miyagi?
Ben: He takes life as it comes, it doesn’t matter to Dumbledore.
Andrew: Well, as Headmaster I would hope he’s thinking ahead a little bit.
Ben: Oh, of course he’s thinking ahead, but he’s not – he’s not afraid…
Andrew: He’s focused. Yeah.
Ben: He’s – he’s prepared to walk head-on into the belly of the beast.
Andrew: [laughs] He definitely does yoga in the mornings, doesn’t he? He’s one of those people I can picture doing some yoga to keep calm especially during this book or any of the books, for that matter.
Micah: All right.
Andrew: All right!
Chapter-by-Chapter: The Dueling Club
Micah: Chapter 11, “The Dueling Club.” And at the beginning, Harry gets released from the hospital. He goes and finds Ron and Hermione in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom and they’re in the middle of working on the Polyjuice Potion. He lets them know about Dobby, so that’s a little bit of a background info there. But again we get another glimpse of Ginny, a little bit later in this chapter, being distraught when she finds out what happened to Colin Creevey. And so it’s interesting to see all these little hints that are being dropped throughout the book, knowing, obviously, that Ginny is responsible for opening the Chamber.
Matt: Poor girl.
Micah: What do you guys think? Poor girl?
Andrew: I don’t think there’s really anything to add. I mean, Micah, do you remember having some sort of feeling that something was up with Ginny about this? This is now what, the third or fourth time she was really distraught over this?
Micah: Yeah, I think she’s just – I probably thought that she was just scared. I mean, she’s a first year at the time. So why wouldn’t – why wouldn’t she be afraid with everything that’s going on?
Ben: I mean, I guess I have a little sympathy for Ginny, but I mean, come on, this is a big deal.
Ben: Well, she’s messing up man.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Andrew: By not – by not saying anything?
Ben: Well, no – yeah. But she just…
Matt: She’s eleven Ben!
Ben: Oh, give me a break. When I was eleven I was…
Andrew: Conquering the world.
Ben: …conquering the world.
Matt: Fair enough.
Micah: All right. Well, I found it funny in this chapter that there was kind of an underground trade that was going on for talismans, amulets, and other protective devices. So it seems like there’s this whole kind of black market for these items that are supposed to protect students from the Basilisk even though they don’t know that’s what it is at this time.
Andrew: Yeah people are cashing in. And…
Andrew: …how are they marketing these things. It’ll prevent whatever from attacking you because nobody knows what it is. So how could you possibly – how do you know a large evil smelling green onion is going to keep away whatever this mystery thing is.
Micah: Well, they thought it was a vampire maybe.
Andrew: [laughs] Yeah I guess so. Maybe that’s a little hint.
Micah: But you mentioned Neville buying that and Neville is kind of really down on himself despite the fact that he’s a pureblood. He kind of refers to himself as a squib and it just is kind of an insight into Neville’s character and the fact that he has no confidence in himself to kind of protect himself.
Andrew: Yeah, but I think a lot of students – I mean especially these early – in their early years were especially afraid of what was going on so they were going for this stuff. This seems like stuff Fred and George would have sold.
Micah: Yeah, yeah exactly.
Andrew: But I wonder why they didn’t – I mean, why was this even allowed? I mean, where are the teachers to stop this and be like hey you can’t be selling this. I mean, couldn’t people – couldn’t the same person who’s behind the opening of the Chamber of Secrets be also selling stuff to students. I mean, they’re trying to cash in on their – their evil doing.
Micah: So Andrew you mentioned this before, now they’re going about trying to get all the pieces that they need for the Polyjuice Potion and Hermione goes to steal the things that are in Snape’s storage when Harry creates this diversion, so the question is what’s going on with Hermione? She’s kind of like this renegade all of a sudden.
Andrew: Hermione is just – she just wants to see some results and again I don’t think that she’s trying to…
Ben: She’s showing off.
Andrew: Is she showing off?
Nick: She thinks it’s the only way to do it I think.
Andrew: Yeah it’s…
Ben: She’s not showing off. I was just kidding.
Andrew: I think Nick’s right. It’s the only way to solve this and she’s self-motivated by these insults that Draco was throwing at her and it was – it was just a bad situation.
Micah: So one of the – the title of the chapter is “The Dueling Club” and Hermione, Ron, and Harry decide that it’ll be a good idea to go and check this thing out. And it’s of course hosted by Gilderoy Lockhart who else would be responsible for something like this. And somehow Snape also gets in on the action. And they demonstrate first and Snape essentially kicks the crap out of Lockhart. And Snape then goes around and pairs different people together and he decides of course to put Potter and Malfoy together. And Draco decides that he’s going to hit Harry with anything but proper spells. And I thought it was interesting how Harry hits Draco with Rictumsempra in this book and then he hits him with Sectumsempra in Half-Blood Prince. Now these are two very similar spells in their name, but they have very different effects. So another tie I guess you could say between the two books.
Andrew: Do you think Jo was going for some sort of connection there?
Micah: I think so.
Andrew: Yeah possibly. I mean, the whole – I think that may show Harry’s growth over the years between Books 2 and 6. Sectumsempra was obviously a very dangerous spell in Half-Blood Prince.
Andrew: Whereas in Chamber of Secrets the Rictusempra didn’t really do much.
Micah: Right. And what’s the deal with Snape, before the next point here, Andrew, that you want to talk about, pairing up Harry and Draco? It’s like he’s trying to start a problem.
Matt: Of course he is.
Andrew: What do you mean, “Of course he is”?
Matt: Of course he’s trying to create a problem. The reason why he was trying to start – start a conflict between them is because he knew it was Harry that set off the fireworks in his classroom. And he gave him – he also gave him – well on in the chapter he told Draco what spell to use to get him.
Andrew: Yeah, that’s right. He did whisper…
Matt: He wanted…
Andrew: …in his ear.
Matt: …to get back at Harry, so he used Draco as his outlet for that.
Micah: That’s a good point.
Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, I also think it maybe – Harry and Draco are a very good match – match up to duel together. [laughs] It’s almost for educational purposes but I just wonder what this whole Dueling Club thing. What was the point of this? Dumbledore’s Army made sense in Order of the Phoenix, but what was the point of the Dueling Club? And doesn’t it sort of just encourage this – this – this unnecessary fighting?
Ben: People are scared, man.
Andrew: But what was the purpose behind the Dueling Club, Ben?
Ben: What was the purpose?
Andrew: Yeah, why – why?
Ben: Because people needed to be able to defend themselves. Say – say here in your apartment complex…
Ben: Say there is some night murderer, right?
Ben: You should go take classes. You start taking taekwondo.
Andrew: Well, that’s…
Ben: You should be able to defend yourself in case – I mean, sure you may have a gun or whatever, but…
Ben: …in the event that – those skills could come in handy, you should have those skills, because you never know when you might need to use them.
Andrew: Yeah. I just think that the students are a little too young at this age to be – to be having to learn to duel and duel against one another. I don’t know, I guess unless they were thinking they want to teach the students to potentially duel against the Basilisk? I mean, I guess that would make sense, but you are not going to win. So – onward, Micah!
Micah: No, it’s – it’s a good point that you bring up. I mean, it’s not like the – I guess it’s just because they know that the Heir is a person, so they figure that it’s – it would be good to at least know how to disarm your opponent. I mean, it just would seem better to be defensive spells as opposed to duelling.
Andrew: All right, moving on.
Micah: Anyway, Matt mentioned before that Snape whispers to Draco what spell to cast and he casts the spell that creates a snake in front of Harry, and then the snake looks like it’s attacking Justin Finch-Fletchley. And all of the sudden Harry starts talking to the snake, and everybody in the room thinks that he is antagonizing the snake on, as opposed to telling him to – telling the snake to leave Justin alone. And of course this sets of the whole discussion that Harry is the Heir of Slytherin.
Micah: I don’t really know what else to say about that.
Andrew: I think – I think the students are really just being sort of immature here. Because I still don’t totally understand why it made it – why – in the movie, I guess it made sense – the visual made sense. But I don’t understand why the students had to assume and could not believe that Harry was actually sending the snake after Justin. I mean, it’s a pretty bold statement. And then you also have to consider, would Harry really do that in front of students and teachers? Expose himself as the Heir by – by doing this in front of this large group of people?
Micah: It’s a good point.
Andrew: I guess it just shows the immaturity of these – these kids.
Ben: Well, it’s just a really bizarre incident because everybody is scared. They are at this Dueling Club stuff trying to learn how to defend themselves, and then this person starts speaking in Parseltongue.
Ben: Which everybody is like, “Whoa! What is he just showing off?” Remember – who said that, Ernie Macmillan?
Ben: I think he said, “What are you doing, just showing off?”
Ben: Like “Come on!” kind of thing. But, yeah – because – I mean it’s definitely a bizarre situation, was the point I was getting at.
Micah: Well part of it too is that Justin had told Harry that he was Muggle-born, right?
Micah: Or he was – was he half-blood or Muggle-born – I can’t remember. I think it was Muggle-born.
Andrew: I – yeah.
Micah: And the next part is a scene that – I think it was a deleted scene from the movie wasn’t it, where Hermione tells Harry to go talk to Justin and because Harry gets really worked up over the whole situation for the next couple of days. He ends up overhearing the Hufflepuffs who think that he is, in fact, the heir of Slytherin. That was a deleted scene from the movie wasn’t it?
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re right. And this also the classic – the biggest movie error of all time. I brought this up on the show before when Draco falls back after Harry casts one of the spells, there’s a camera guy with a camera straight up down on the ground, on the left side of the screen. And, from a nerd perspective it just made my life because it’s such a huge blooper! It’s a cameraman and a camera and a tripod all sitting there on the left side of the screen filming! And it’s just wild.
Ben: And it made it into the film?
Andrew: Yeah! We could go watch it right now. I think this is a good question for the producers. I wonder if they’re going to make any changes to the films? Any digital changes, or fix any bloopers, you know? I’m going to keep an eye out for that on the Ultimate Edition. Man, in Blu-ray, you’re going to be able to see the name of that camera. You’re going to be able to recognize the guy – camera guy.
Ben: Count the hairs on his head.
Andrew: Yeah, can’t wait.
Micah: So Harry leaves the Hufflepuffs pissed off, and he ends up running into Rubeus Hagrid.
Ben: [as Hagrid] Who?
Matt: Thank you!
Micah: Right on cue. And one of the things to note about Hagrid is he’s got this dead rooster in his hand and this was another indication that the monster is a Basilisk. We learn about this later on but I wanted to know – was Fantastic Beasts out and published at this time? Because then people might have been able to go to it and realize what the monster was.
Nick: I looked this up, and Fantastic Beasts came out in 2001 and The Chamber of Secrets was 1998 in the U.K. and 1999 in the U.S. So, not unless they were late readers. But would you have read that and then immediately gone to…
Andrew: Yeah, I don’t think Jo would have done that. I mean, I don’t know. I think you would read the actual series first before going to read the extra books like Fantastic Beasts, and Quidditch, and Beedle the Bard.
Micah: So after his run-in with Hagrid, guess what happens?
Micah: As luck should have it, minutes later, Harry trips over a petrified Justin who is just lying there stone-faced on the floor. Nearly Headless Nick is nearby, he seems to be petrified too. Peeves shows up and makes so much noise that all the classes empty into the main corridor there.
Micah: This is just too coincidental for me, man. Andrew, you brought up a good point though.
Andrew: Yeah, I mean, what’s going on here? Why does Harry have to – why is Harry always the one who runs into the Basilisk attacks? I just don’t understand why – couldn’t somebody else have discovered at least one of these, at least Justin and Nearly Headless Nick? I can understand the trio running into one or two of these, but what are the chances of Harry running into all of these too, and being the first person to do so? It would have been cool to see some other student run into one of the initial – or be the first one to notice an attack and be like, “Oh my god! What’s happening?” and then run off to Dumbledore, and then Harry hears about it later – but poor Harry.
Micah: Yeah, he’s got bad luck man.
Andrew: And that’s really all it comes down to. He’s just nothing but bad luck.
Matt: Poor kid.
Micah: So of course, now he’s in big trouble, or so he thinks, and he gets taken off to Dumbledore’s office. And, in the next chapter, we get to see Dumbledore’s office for the first time.
Andrew: Yeah, that was really cool, seeing it for the first time.
Micah: Kind of re-reading it.
Micah: Yeah, you kind of forget about that.
Andrew: Yeah, and you’re stuck with the visual from the movie and it was interesting because there are a couple things that changed. One thing in particular I noticed was, they noted about Dumbledore coming out of his bedroom – or like Harry – I think Jo wrote that’s where, or this is where Dumbledore slept. You know, because it was Dumbledore’s home.
Andrew: Which had me wondering, where’s Dumbledore’s bedroom in relation to the movie set? Because you never see any additional room, it’s just like the front area with a desk and then there’s the back area that has –
Micah: Dumbledore doesn’t sleep.
Andrew: I guess so. He’s like a vampire.
Micah: He’s like Chuck Norris.
MuggleCast 185 Transcript (continued)
Chapter-by-Chapter: The Polyjuice Potion
Micah: So, all right, moving on to the next chapter, “The Polyjuice Potion.”” And at the very beginning of this chapter, once he’s inside Dumbledore’s office, Harry goes to the Sorting Hat and he wants to know whether or not he was placed in the right house and the hat tells him, “You would have done well in Slytherin.” Not, that he should have been placed there, but he mentions that he would have done well there. Which, I mean, don’t you think Harry would have done well no matter what House he was in?
Ben: Except Hufflepuff.
Andrew: Well I’m just wondering why – Harry got angry and then ripped the Sorting Hat off and I’m wondering, why didn’t he – you know, he had this one-on-one time with the Sorting Hat, why didn’t he just, you know, try to get more answers out of it? You could have had a very interesting – he should have asked the Sorting why did – why, why, why, did he consider Slytherin? Was it because of the Parseltongue abilities, or what?
Andrew: It doesn’t make sense!
Micah: It’s true. All right, well next we meet Fawkes for the first time…
[Andrew makes bird noises]
Micah: …and we learn a little bit… [laughs]
Matt: What was that?
Micah: I have no idea.
Andrew: It was Fawkes. Caw, caw, Fawkes, caw!
Ben: [singing] Gaga fa fa fa!
Andrew: You’re in Dumbledore’s office. Just dance. You’re in Dumbledore’s office.
Andrew: Onward Micah.
Matt: Yeah, please.
Andrew: Ignore my…
Micah: We learn that Phoenixes can carry very immense – or sorry they can carry immensely heavy loads, their teals – tears have healing powers, and they make highly faithful pets.
Andrew: Aw, that’s nice.
Micah: And obviously this all has a larger implication…
Micah: At the end of the book…
Andrew: And the series. When I was thinking about this I was thinking about all the times that Fawkes later came into play.
Andrew: Such a good bird.
Micah: And then Dumbledore shows up, and Ben, would you mind doing an imitation of, “You saw him on a burning day?” What does he say, something like that?
Ben: [as Dumbledore] You saw him on a burning day. Ah…
[Andrew makes bird noises again]
Ben: [as Dumbledore] Ah, ah…
Ben: [as Dumbledore] Oh, la, la.
Ben: [as Dumbledore] Gaga.
Andrew: [singing] Caw, caw, caught in a bad romance. [as himself] And they like harmonize together, Dumbledore and Fawkes the bird.
Micah: All right.
Micah: All right, now what I want to know is –
Ben: [singing] I want your romance. [as himself] Oh, sorry, I get carried away.
Micah: No, go ahead.
Ben: No, you can go on.
Micah: All right.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Micah: So, Harry and Dumbledore get into this conversation and Dumbledore asks Harry if there’s anything he wishes to tell him and then when Harry says no, Dumbledore just kind of accepts that. I mean, come on, obviously there’s a reason why Harry’s in his office. Clearly there’s something going wrong with him. Why is Dumbledore so willing to accept this B.S. response?
Ben: This is basically Dumbledore putting the ball in Harry’s court kind of thing. Dumbledore’s not really the confrontational-type, I would say.
Ben: He kind of gives – he’s the type to give you a knowing look, or ask a question in a knowing manner, like he already knows the answer. So even though – of course he knows that Harry’s not being completely honest here, but this is him kind of urging Harry along the way to get him to open up, because you know, if he realizes that Dumbledore knows anyway, then what’s the point in, you know, withholding it?
Andrew: Yeah, and I think Dumbledore’s point of not pressing matters is he wants Harry to make decisions on his own. He doesn’t want to force him to talk. He wants Harry to grow on his own.
Micah: It’s about choices, right, Ben?
Ben: [as Dumbledore] It is our choices, Harry. Gaga.
Andrew: [as Fawkes] Gaga!
Ben: [as Dumbledore] Ooh la.
Andrew: [as Dumbledore] Ooh la la.
Ben: Lady Dumbledore. Dumbledore Gaga.
Ben: Gaga Dumbledore.
Ben: Do you think Dumbledore listens to Lady Gaga?
Andrew: Oh, yeah.
Matt: Oh, definitely.
Ben: He’s like…
Andrew: Lady Gaga is huge in the gay community.
Ben: [sings] “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick. I want to take a ride on your wand.”
Andrew: On your wand! [laughs] [as Dumbledore] “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick.”
Ben: [as Dumbledore] “Let’s have some fun.”
Andrew: [as Dumbledore] “I want to take a ride on your wand stick.” [as Fawkes] “Gaga!” [laughs]
Ben: [as Fawkes] “Gaga.”
Andrew: Dumbledore and Fawkes could do an amazing version of [laughs] whatever that song is called. All right. Enough of this.
Micah: All right.
Andrew: Let’s move on.
Micah: Well, eventually Christmas comes to Hogwarts, the potion is ready, and Hermione comes up with this plan to drug Crabbe and Goyle. And…
Ben: Now she is going too far!
Micah: I know!
Ben: I mean, now she is going to drug people?
Ben: First it’s just minor infractions, minor rule breaking, and now she is drugging people?
Andrew: But this is necessary for the Polyjuice Potion. I mean, it wasn’t necessarily her decision.
Ben: Oh, right. That’s what – it’s exactly what Grindelwald and Voldemort were saying. “For the greater good.”
Ben: It’s always the justification. “For the greater good.”
Andrew: Well, karma kicks her in the butt when she turns into a cat anyway, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Micah: So the potion is completed and they all transform. And Hermione, as you mentioned, doesn’t come with them because she ends up turning into a cat. But how did – I want to know how they did all this research about transforming, but none of them bothered to figure out where the Slytherin common room was.
Andrew: That was so stupid!
Ben: Talk about oversight.
Andrew: It annoyed – that wasn’t – I don’t know. I don’t know if Jo should have written it that way because I feel like that’s a really – an insult to Hermione’s character to not think about that beforehand because that’s such a basic thing. It’s not like one thing that you could accidentally forget. I mean, the plan was to go to Draco and Draco would be in the Slytherin common room, so it’s just common sense. And I don’t believe Hermione’s character would have actually forgotten that, or Ron, or Harry.
Micah: Well, didn’t they kind of run out there without even bothering to consult Hermione? I mean, would Hermione even know where the common room was?
Andrew: Yeah, I don’t know. I bet she would have. Maybe you’re right. I forgot that Hermione didn’t go along. But, they were placed under that time limit too. That hour time limit. So I guess they had a rushing feeling. And, I mean, it could have easily taken them a full hour to find the common room…
Micah: Find it.
Ben: Okay, my question is why wouldn’t you just make enough Polyjuice Potion for two hours and just have a little flask on you. And then about 45 – 50 minutes in, just take another shot of Polyjuice, and…
Andrew: I’m not sure. Maybe because it takes so long to make just that little batch.
Ben: Yeah, I mean, I’d like to think that they could mass produce it.
Andrew: Right, but some things cannot just be mass produced.
Micah: The other oversight was them not really trying to keep their emotions in check throughout – and you see that in the movie…
Micah: …throughout the whole conversation…
Micah: …with Draco. They talk about Arthur Weasley. They talk about Colin Creevey and Hermione, and Draco is just ragging on all three of them. And…
Ben: He’s always ragging.
Micah: That’s true, he is.
Andrew: And that sort of turns into a funny bit, especially for the movies because it’s funny to watch Ron sort of freak out when he insults – when Draco insults Ginny. But – yeah, I mean, it must have been hard to hear them – to hear Draco say that. I don’t know if kids at that young age – or I don’t know if Harry and Ron specifically could keep their emotions in check when they already have so much pent up anger towards Draco, and to hear Draco saying this stuff firsthand. To be expressing his feelings right in front of them. It must be very hurtful, and Harry and Ron are no professional spies. They certainly can’t…
Micah: Yeah. [laughs]
Andrew: …you know – [laughs] – cover their emotions.
Micah: Right. Well, that’s why maybe having Hermione there would have been a good thing.
Micah: Kind of keep them in check. But one of the cool things out of that conversation was we get our – we got our first mention of snapping a wand when Draco was talking about Arthur Weasley…
Micah: …and how he loves Muggles and how the fact that he loves Muggles, he should just have his wand snapped and he should be kicked out of the wizarding community. And don’t we – isn’t that brought up again with Hagrid later on?
Andrew: Yeah, I think it is.
Micah: But it was kind of just thrown in there, and I guess you normally just read over it without even paying attention, but…
Andrew: It’s the little things.
Micah: I know. Jo, that Jo.
Andrew: That Jo. [singing] Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Ben: [singing] I like to be Jo, baby-ka-booty Jo.
Matt: [singing] Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Ben: [singing] Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo. Let me see that Jo, oh, oh, oh. Jo!
Andrew: Now Lady Gaga. [singing] Just Jo. Just Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Ben: [singing] Just Jo, Jo, Jo.
Andrew: [singing] Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo.
Ben: [singing] Jo, Jo, Jo. Doo, doo, doo. Just Jo!
Andrew: Now Britney. [singing] One, two, Jo, na na na na.
Ben: How about [singing] Oh! Oh, Jo…
Ben: [singing] I do not want to read ‘Twilight.’
[Andrew and Matt laugh]
Ben: [singing] I love you, Jo, oh!
Andrew: We’re going to make that a segment once. We’re going to call out artists and just insert Harry Potter names into the songs. All right, Micah?
Micah: All right.
Andrew: We’re almost done. Don’t tease us.
Micah: So from the conversation we learn that the Chamber was opened fifty years ago and that a Mudblood died. We also get our first mention of Azkaban in the series.
Andrew: That’s right, which plays a big role in the next book.
Micah: And then one last little thing. Referring to the raid that happened in his father’s manor, he says, ‘But luckily, we’ve got our own secret chamber under the drawing room floor,” and we know what role that plays later on in the series. So I thought I’d mention that.
Andrew: That’s right, it’s a very crucial role in the series. Okay. That does it for the chapter analysis. Thank you, Micah. Spot on job you did there. I hope you didn’t mind the random bouts of singing.
Micah: No, no, it adds to the conversation.
Andrew: Does it, though? Does it?
Micah: Yeah, it does.
Micah: You know, kicks it up a notch.
Andrew: Okay. It’s time for quote, quote, quiz, quiz, quiz, quiz. Here’s the quote: ‘The moment…”
Andrew: “The moment…” [laughs] “The moment they start trying to move into each other’s pots, we’ll know they’re fully mature.”
Ben: Oh, come on. Professor Sprout.
Andrew: That’s right. That’s right.
Ben: She’s talking about the Mandrakes.
Matt: Yeah. I mean…
Ben: Come on.
Andrew: That’s right.
Matt: Get a different one, Andrew. That one’s too easy.
Andrew: Too easy?
Andrew: Okay. This is a double quote quiz. There’s two people. “What does she understand?” That’s the first person. Then the second person says, “Loads more than I do.”
Andrew: Harry and Ron.
Ben: Wow. That was a good one, dude.
Tweet: Snape Teaches Harry Expelliarmus
Andrew: Had you stumped. We have just one tweet related to Chapters 10 through 12 that we did not get to on our discussion. It’s from Gabrielle and she says:
“In Chapter 12, Snape is the first one to teach Harry the ‘Expelliarmus’ spell, his signature move that later saves his life.”
That’s kind of ironic, isn’t it?
Ben: Ooh, because – well, technically speaking, Snape had that whole life debt situation going on.
Andrew: Right, he was to protect Harry.
Ben: Right, and so – and he gave him the spell, the cornerstone.
Andrew: His signature spell. We should get a count of how many times he uses that in Deathly Hallows. I would bet it’s many, many times.
Matt: Yeah, at least more than once.
Avada Kedavra, Imperio, Love Potion
Andrew: Okay. So that’s it for Chapter-by-Chapter. We’re going to do a segment we haven’t done in a while: Avada Kedavra, Imperio, Love Potion. And let me remind listeners how this works again. I just listed three spells. I’m going to give each one of the hosts three characters and they have to decide which one they would kill with Avada Kedavra, which one they would Imperio and which one they would give a love potion.
Andrew: Ben, you first.
Andrew: Avada Kedavra, Imperio, Love Potion: Katie Bell, Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley.
Ben: Ooh. This one – this one’s a good one.
[Matt and Micah laugh]
Andrew: Lots of attractive women.
Ben: I would kill Katie Bell. I’m sorry…
Ben: I just don’t have very much of an attachment to her.
[Andrew and Micah laugh]
Ben: I would probably – I’d probably put Cho under the Imperius Curse so then I could get her to do whatever…
Ben: And Ginny, she’s a sweetheart even though she’s dumb and gets taken advantage of by a stupid little book.
Ben: And I’d give her a love potion because I would want to be with her for a good…
Andrew: Month. [laughs]
Ben: Good month. Absolutely.
Matt: Or whatever.
Andrew: Wonderful analysis. Nick, same three spells, curses and potions: Rita Skeeter, Minerva McGonagall, and Peter Pettigrew.
Nick: Well, I would A.K. Pettigrew, the little weasel. I think Rita needs some loving…
Nick: So I would give her love potion and…
Ben: Oh, come on. McGonagall’s hot.
Nick: Yeah, but under the Imperio she could be, you know…
Ben: She could be ever hotter.
Andrew: Why – okay, we got to stop with this Imperio-ing women. It’s going to come off very womanizing.
Ben: Hey! Hey. Never.
Ben: Well, it’s the Imperius Curse. People do whatever you want when they’re underneath it.
Ben: It isn’t like you’re doing it to have pure intentions, you know?
Andrew: No, you’re right. Okay, and Matt. Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Sirius.
Matt: Oh, okay. [laughs] I think – you know what? I’m going to Avada Narcissa because – I don’t know, I just don’t like women with pointy noses.
Matt: You know, just the white hair. I am definitely going to Imperio Bellatrix. Because that woman was crazy. Can you imagine what she is under the Imperius Curse?
Andrew: And you would give a love potion to Sirius?
Matt: Absolutely. Sirius Black.
Andrew: And Micah, I totally did not mean to give you this one on purpose because I know we’re sort of done with the whole goat thing, but Aberforth Dumbledore…
Andrew: Madam Rosmerta, and Tom the bartender of the Leaky Cauldron.
Micah: Well, I would actually have to kill Aberforth so I could take the goat. [laughs] Anyway…
Ben: Micah’s mission is to save goats from disturbing people.
Micah: [laughs] I mean, he’s kind of the meaningless brother. You know what I mean?
Andrew: Well, he plays a role in Book Seven.
Ben: He helps people in and out of Hogwarts and all that jazz.
Micah: That’s true.
Andrew: He has a brain.
Micah: Well, anyway…
Andrew: Okay, so what are you doing with him?
Micah: He’s dead. He’s gone.
Micah: Sorry, bye-bye.
Andrew: Is this after Book Seven or before? Because if it’s before, there could be serious problems.
Micah: No, it’s after.
Andrew: Oh, oh, okay.
Ben: Book Seven came out like two years ago, dude.
Andrew: You know what I’m saying.
Micah: Yeah, we’re recording two years later.
Andrew: Before the plot.
Andrew: Okay, go on. Go on.
Micah: After the plot. Anyway, give the love potion to Madam Rosmerta and I’d Imperio Tom because you could get him to make you any kind of drink you could possibly want…
Micah: …any time of day.
Matt: Well, so could Madam Rosmerta. She has the Three Broomsticks.
Andrew: Yeah, but she’s marry-able, so…
Micah: Yeah, exactly. She’s hot. I mean, Ron has the thing for her at one point.
Andrew: [laughs] That’s right. Okay, so…
Ben: I’d want her to slip me a Butterbeer.
Matt: What’s her first name?
Ben: Give me a butterbeer!
Andrew: Okay, well that’s how we play Avada Kedavra, Imperio, Love Potion. If you have any combinations to send in – you know, character combinations…
Ben: Or spells, even. If there’s certain spells you want us to put on people…
Andrew: Yeah, yeah. We’ll start mixing it up more.
Announcement: Podcast Alley
Andrew: Send it in to – e-mail us – go to MuggleCast.com and click on Contact and fill out the box. Okay, so before we let everyone go, we have a few announcements today. Don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley.
Ben: How could they forget at this point?
Andrew: Because we love to remind them.
Matt: [laughs] It’s been three years.
Ben: It’s been a long time.
Andrew: I know, and every episode we talk about it.
Ben: I would love just to hear at the end of every episode all those clips: “Vote for us on Podcast Alley…”
Andrew: There’s a lot of them.
Ben: “Podcast Alley, Podcast Alley…”
Announcement: 2009 Podcast Awards
Andrew: And also, here’s one we don’t talk about as often. We’re nominated at the 2009 Podcast Awards. Thanks to you guys, we are nominated in the Best Produced and Best Entertainment categories. Thank you so much for nominating us and now it’s time to vote. Voting is open until November 30th. You can vote every day – you’re allowed to vote once a day – by visiting PodcastAwards.com and again, vote for us in the Best Produced and Entertainment categories. And while you’re there, we have a couple other podcasts – we do a couple other podcasts that we’d love for you to vote for. In the Cultural Arts category is our Twilight podcast Imprint. In the Mature category is our podcast Smart Mouths. And also, our friends at Hogwarts Radio were also nominated in the General category. So that’s a lot, but again, Best Produced: MuggleCast, Entertainment: MuggleCast, Cultural Arts: Imprint, General: Hogwarts Radio, Mature: Smart Mouths. So…
Ben: There you have it.
Andrew: You can vote in other categories as well. You can vote once every day, so please vote for us once a day. We really appreciate it!
Ben: Vote daily. Make it your home page.
Andrew: If we win in both categories, Ben and I will record a Dumbledore/Fawkes Lady Gaga song.
Ben: Yeah. Shake up the Harry Potter world.
Andrew: We’ll let you guys vote on which one and we’ll write one and get a karaoke version.
Ben: Get it all good and going.
Andrew: Yeah. It’ll be amazing. It’ll be our next Wizard Rock…
Nick: Christmas number one.
Announcement: The Ultimate Section
Andrew: Yes! It’ll be our next Wizard Rock release, so again, PodcastAwards.com. Visit MuggleCast.com for all the details – we have the voting details up on there. Don’t forget, as we plugged earlier, we have a new Ultimate DVD section on MuggleNet which is the ultimate resource for the Ultimate DVD section. So check that out by going to MuggleNet.com and under the films area on the left side of the page, click Ultimate DVDs.
Announcement: Infinitus 2010
Andrew: Don’t forget, Infinitus 2010 is coming up. Infinitus2010.org is the site where you can find all the information about HPEF’s new – next Harry Potter conference. It’s going to be July 15th to 18th in Orlando, Florida. It’s going to be happening right after the release of – right after the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park.
Ben: Andrew, are we doing a podcast there?
Andrew: Actually, Ben, we cannot announce at that time – at this time, but thank you for asking.
[Show music begins]
Micah: I’ve heard things.
Andrew: You’ve heard things?
Matt: There has been rumors.
Andrew: I haven’t heard things. I don’t know.
Ben: Probably that Rita Skeeter.
Andrew: [laughs] Yes. Stay away from that Rita. When you guys – if you register and attend Infinitus, when you’re going through the whole registration process, please put MuggleNet or MuggleCast in the referral box. We do appreciate that very much. So thank you. Again, it’s Infinitus2010.org. And finally, on one last note, happy birthday to MuggleCast listener Megan. I’m friends with her friend, Lucas and we both wish her a Happy Birthday.
Ben: Awww! Happy Birthday, Megan.
Andrew: Happy Birthday, Megan.
Ben: Also, I have to give a shout-out to Wales.
Andrew: To whales?
Ben: No, like the place in England. But not actually…
Ben: Not like Free Willy, not those kind of whales.
Andrew: Okay, all right.
Ben: Although I do know some of those.
Andrew: Well thanks everyone for listening. Don’t forget MuggleCast.com is the site where you can get all the information you need pertaining to the show. There you can visit our contact page and, you know, get in touch with us. We also have links to our Twitter.
Ben: And our MySpace.
Andrew: And our MySpace…
Ben: If you’re still using MySpace…
Andrew: [laughs] Everything, everything. You know the deal. MuggleCast.com is the site for all the information you need pertaining to MuggleCast. Thanks everyone for listening! I’m Andrew Sims.
Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.
Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.
Matt: I am Matt Britton.
Nick: And I’m Nick Myers.
Andrew: We’ll see you next time for Episode 186. Peace out!
Ben: Woo! Yeah! [singing] Ra ra ra…
[Andrew makes bird noises again]
[Show music continues]