Transcript #32

MuggleCast EP32 Transcript


Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Heart-stoppin’, house-rockin’, booty-shakin’, delusional fan-takin’ MuggleCast 32 for March 26th 2006. See is the No. 1 domain registrar world-wide. Now with your domain name registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener enter the code “RON,” that’s R-O-N when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $6.95 per year. Get your piece of the Internet today at

Ben: Hey everybody! Welcome to MuggleCast – Episode 32 – coming to you live from Moundridge, Kansas. I’m Ben Schoen.

Andrew: Sims, Andrew.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

We have a full house here this week, people.

Andrew: We do.

Ben: We have Eric, Andrew, Kevin, Jamie, Laura. Geez.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] Yeah, this is great. I love this.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] Can somebody post the schedule? Can somebody post the schedule?

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] No, why do you keep asking?

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I want the schedule.

Ben: Okay, Jamie. I gave you the schedule three minutes ago.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] Go into the Writely. Dude, go into the Writely and get the schedule.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] Hey Ben, I forgot to do the News this week. What are we going to do about that?

Andrew: Micah, can you stop asking questions?

Ben: Micah! Andrew, what are we going to do about him?

Andrew: I don’t know. Laura?

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] Hey, don’t be so mean to Micah! Micah is a good person. I am backwards compatible with Windows 3.1.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] No you’re not. You’ve got Windows XP. Windows 3.1 doesn’t exist.

Eric: Oh, quiet down Laura. I used to have Windows 3.1.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] What are you talking about?

Ben: Okay.

Eric: Laura, okay, whatever.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] Stop it!

Ben: Okay. Okay, guys. [laughs] The jig is up people. It’s not really… We don’t have a full house here. It is just the Three Amigos, right Eric?

Eric: The Three Amigos – that’s correct.

Ben: It’s me, Ben Schoen, Andrew Sims, and Eric Scull. Micah, grace us with your amazing power of voice-over and take away the News.


To celebrate the release of the UK Goblet of Fire DVD, Collectormania 9 will be attended by several Harry Potter actors. Actors confirmed thus far are Robert Pattinson (Cedric), Matthew Lewis (Neville), and James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George). Admission is free and the event runs from April 28th to May 1st, with most of the Harry Potter guests appearing on Sunday, 30th April.

Lizo of CBBC Newsround recently visited the set of the fifth Harry Potter movie and interviewed the stars. Among the information that was gathered we learned that the kissing scene has been postponed for a few weeks due to Dan having the flu, scenes involving the Room of Requirement and the Forbidden Forest have started filming, including the part where the centaurs rampage after Umbridge. And David Heyman said the film would be released either summer or fall 2007, and the sixth film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will be out late 2008. He also mentioned that a trailer should be revealed by the end of this year. Check out the full video of the interview on

More Order of the Phoenix news: Gary Oldman’s long-time manager Doug Urbanski completed the deal Tuesday morning with Harry Potter producer David Heyman, making it official that the actor will reprise the role of Sirius Black in the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie.

Jamie Waylett, the actor who plays Crabbe in the Potter films has updated his online blog with a few Order of the Phoenix filming updates, so be sure to check those out.

J.K. Rowling has painted a ceramic egg and donated it to an auction taking place at Jam House in Queen Street today, which will benefit the Multiple Sclerosis Society Scotland. A variety of other celebrities have done the same, and at least 150 people are expected to attend and tickets are priced at £50 each, which includes a champagne reception, a three-course meal, whisky tasting and live entertainment from The Jam House band. Man, I wish I was going to that.

British afternoon talk show Richard & Judy announced Friday that in series two, beginning on June 19th, they will conduct an exclusive interview with Jo Rowling! By that time, we expect her to have quite a good bit of Book 7 written, so you know, we hope she’ll talk a little about that. The date of this interview ties in with Jo’s planned appearance at the Queen’s 80th birthday party at Buckingham Palace.

Continuing their site updates, Scholastic, the American Harry Potter publisher has updated once again to include new downloads related to Prisoner of Azkaban. Updates for Goblet of Fire through Half-Blood Prince are expected in the upcoming weeks.

Finally, you can read about Snape killing Dumbledore in paperback, as the UK and US editions of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince are set to be released on June 23rd and July 25th, respectively. Both versions can be pre-ordered through

That’s all the news for this March 26th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the Trio.

Ben: Thanks for that, Micah.


Ben: Okay, it’s time for some announcements, right Andrew? Right, Andrew? Right, Andrew?

Andrew: That’s wrong, Ben.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: No, let’s see. What do we have here? Just the usual stuff guys. Don’t forget to buy a MuggleCast t-shirt because as Eric said last week, something about Tootsie Rolls – they are going to explode. I can’t… I can’t… I can’t remember why.

Eric: [laughs] Explode.

Andrew: Something about exploding Tootsie Pops.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: I zoned out after your first two sentences.

Eric: Yes, Andrew.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Usually everything you say after your first two sentences is completely useless. So… [laughs]

Eric: Except for the last two sentences in which I sum it up.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: But also, vote for us on Podcast Alley – this is ridiculous, right Andrew?

Andrew: Yeah, because usually I don’t like to ask because it’s like, “Oh, they already know. I shouldn’t have to say anything.” But then, we’re not even in the Top 10 list, so it kind of worries me. So, don’t forget. Once we’re in the Top 10 list I will stop bugging.

Ben: It’s terrible! Yeah.

Andrew: And one last thing, just a general notice, we usually record these shows on Wednesdays now, so if you want to get in your Listener Rebuttals or your What Ifs or whatever you want, your Voicemails too – those especially – make sure you get those in by Wednesday of each week because we usually record on Wednesdays. Anything after that is usually going to get, won’t make it on the show. We’ll read them, but it probably won’t make it on the show.

Eric: Right, for…

Andrew: So, listen to the show early in the week, gather your thoughts and send in your stuff.

Eric: That’s right.

Ben: That is correct. We forgot to explain ourselves – why there isn’t very many people this week. I think…

Eric: I got the perfect idea.

Ben: What is it Eric?

Andrew: Why?

Eric: They didn’t buy their MuggleCast t-shirts. And so now they are running around stark naked trying to find clothes and they couldn’t be with us because of what I said the first time, which was…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah!

[Andrew and Ben laugh throughout]

Andrew: You’ll lose your clothes. But seriously the reason that they are not on is because originally we were going to record Wednesday like we usually do and then now we’re recording Saturday night. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: We got… I got T-minus 12 hours – 18 hours to finish it.

Ben: Yeah poor…poor Andrew.

Andrew: Nobody could make it.

Ben: Well see what happened was, on Wednesday we were going to record, and then Jamie had some audio problems where he couldn’t get his mike working.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: And then tonight, he set his alarm for 4 AM…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Just to get up.

Ben: …so he could come on the show, and then his mike still wouldn’t work – the poor guy. So we’re going to get him hooked up with a new one here soon enough.

Andrew: And then the reason Kevin isn’t here is because he’s at some community service event, which I thought was really nice. I said, you know what, go do your community service thing.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, its…

Andrew: Because you’re…

Ben: Hope he doesn’t have too wild of a night.

Eric: Yeah, it’s Daffodil Days.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: I just thought that was nice, and sorry he couldn’t be on. And Laura is doing something and Micah is doing something, so… [laughs]

Listener Rebuttal

Ben: It’s time for this week’s Listener Rebuttal, right Andrew? I always say that, “Right, Andrew?”

Eric: [impersonating Andrew] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: So, as you guys remember from last week, this is going to be the part of the show where we read listener e-mails on the air that respond to things that we discussed the episode before. So, this first one comes from Jenna, 14, of Connecticut. She writes (very short and to the point): “I think the reason JKR does more narrating in the first book is that the characters aren’t developed enough yet in order to drive the stories themselves.”

Now, we had been talking about how J.K. [mispronounces] Rowling wrote it this way, and basically that sums up what we were saying. I just thought that was nice.

Eric: That’s nice, yeah.

Ben: That is nice.

Eric: Well also, Harry is young in the way that… Well, first of all, if the story started with Harry that would be kind of interesting, but we wouldn’t have that back story. And what little back story we have is very important. But yeah, I like hearing about… I think one of the things about Harry Potter is that the most fascinating characters are – I don’t want to say the ones that aren’t Harry, but all the characters are interesting and it’s good to see stuff about them too, and we don’t really get a lot of that later on.

Andrew: Right, and then also a little slip up last week. Well actually, I don’t know. Was this a slip up, Eric?

Eric: Wait, what?

Andrew: About Ted Tonks being a Muggleborn?

[Ben laughs]

Eric: No, because I’m… Well, read it first.

Andrew: A lot of people missed… Well, it came from tons of people. I don’t have… I’m not quoting any specific person.

Eric: Oh…

Andrew: A lot of people wrote in to say that, “You guys are wrong. You’re idiots. Ted Tonks is actually a Muggleborn.” But Eric was the one talking about it. Do you… I think people just misinterpreted what you were saying.

Eric: Yeah, I think… Ted Tonks is Muggleborn. There were a lot of people who cited that, and somebody we actually quoted – are you sure it isn’t in the Writely? – said something about…

Andrew: The milkman thing?

Eric: Yeah, yeah. Somebody wrote in to say that I was wrong, that Ted…

Andrew: Matt…

Eric: Oh, you have the name?

Andrew: Matt Smith from Bloomington, Illinois in fact. He points out that Ted Tonks was actually a milkman. He wasn’t sure where he found it, but he read somewhere that Ted Tonks was a milkman, actually.

Eric: [gasps] But I do have a response to this. I think that actually it was not Ted Tonks that was a milkman – I might be going out on a limb, you can Listener Rebuttal me next week – but I think it was Colin Creevey’s and Dennis Creevey’s dad who was mentioned as being a milkman. And it doesn’t mean that Ted couldn’t be a milkman, you know, don’t get me wrong, but I think it was Mr. Creevey who specifically said… I think it was Book 2, Colin went up and introduced himself to Harry and then told him his whole lifestory about his father being a milkman, so I think that it’s Mr. Creevey. So, Ted Tonks may be Muggleborn – that’s fine. Or he may be Muggle, who knows? The world may never know. Just like Tootsie Rolls, but never mind. Tootsie Pops and so yeah, I think Mr. Creevy is the milkman.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, I think so too. Our next Listener Rebuttal. Tricia M., 14, from Long Island, New York writes Sirius had a wand in Book 5 in the chapter when Harry and the Weasleys went back to Grimmauld Place after the attack on Mr. Weasley, Sirius uses his want to summon Butterbeer and he clearly says, “Accio, Butterbeer.” So, we know he got a wand back, but was it his wand, or was it someone else’s wand?

Eric: Well Andrew, my question is what’s it really matter if he got the Butterbeer? [laughs]

Andrew: Because… Well, it proves that he says…

Eric: [laughs] Well, yeah. No, I was… But he got what he wanted. So…

Andrew: We just want to know how he got it back.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: That was the question last week.

Ben: It’s sort of like how did Voldemort get his wand back after he died?

Eric: Well, and the thing is…

Ben: It’s sort of the same thing. And don’t you think the Ministry would have snapped his wand?

Eric: You’d really think so. Just like, you know, what the heck.

Ben: He’s given a life sentence is Azkaban, wouldn’t they snap his wand?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: I think to be safe, they would. In fact, Hagrid’s wand was snapped and he only got expelled from Hogwarts, didn’t you notice that?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Like what’s the deal with that? Couldn’t he enroll in another school or something? Did he need a new wand? I mean he paid like seven Galleons for that thing, you know? You’re not going to just… Why snap it when he got out of Hogwarts? Couldn’t he, you know…

Ben: Right, but I have a feeling he probably went to [mispronounces meaning to say Ollivander’s] Alivan’s to get – no he couldn’t have done that, because he was on the run.

Eric: You mean Ollivander’s. I made that mistake too.

Ben: Ollivander’s. I was like Alivan’s – wait a minute.

Eric: Yeah, [laughs] but…

Ben: Actually, I sent him one. I sent him a wand.

Andrew: Now, wasn’t…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …I thought I remember seeing an e-mail about this.

Eric: I don’t know, our good friend… Actually guys, while we are on about Sirius. Our good friend Chaya from the LIVE podcast – she lives in New York.

Andrew: That I called “Shhaya” or something? [laughs]

Eric: She wrote to me. Chaya, yeah. But anyway, she wrote in to me like… She wrote me an instant message like five minutes before I signed off, before we recorded the show, and she said, she had a rebuttal about needing a wand to use Animagus – to turn yourself into an Animagus. And she said that was probably not true because Sirius once again escaped Azkaban and he found that he was able to turn gradually like into a dog. And they wouldn’t notice because they sensed, the Dementors sensed a diminishing feeling – that sort of thing. So, I think it is just a movie error. But yeah, that was her rebuttal. She said Sirius pretty much escaped as a dog, you know, and therefore couldn’t get his wand or couldn’t have his wand or didn’t need to use his wand.

Andrew: But he could have used someone else’s or…

Ben: It’s true.

Andrew: Or he could have…

Eric: Well, I don’t think wands are easily accessible.

Ben: This last listener rebuttal is just about, well, how did he end up with a wand in the first place?

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: After he got out.

Eric: And that’s really the question.

Ben: I don’t know. Ask Jo.

Andrew: One last listener rebuttal. This comes from Jimmy Rose who sent us a really long e-mail with lots of rebuttals. Some of them are pretty good, like the Tootsie Roll one, but I just want to talk about the one where he talks about “won’t” and “shan’t” because we had discussed this for an alarming amount of time last week.

Eric: This is interesting. This is like, yeah. This is one of the most responsed theories.

Andrew: Because this is an interesting topic, but I think Jimmy gets it. Jimmy writes: “I’m sorry to tell you guys that revision of “shan’t” in the British version to “won’t” in the American version is the result of American common usage, changing the proper forms of the English language. The truth is that one should never say “I will” or “I won’t”. First person present tense of this verb is “shall”. This is given more properly as “I shall” or “I shan’t”. American usage is colored by our need to remove perceived complexities or perceived pretension. “Shall” somehow sounds a little prissy so America decided not to use the word properly. In fact “shall” has come to take on a slightly different meaning in legal language. In that arena the word “shall” carries with it the intent of command. For example, “the claimant shall be compelled to cease and desist.” Proper English would rephrase that as “claimant will be compelled.” So basically, what he’s saying, in all of that, is that us Americans screw up the English language terribly.

Ben: Right, right. Like the point I made last week. It’s just idiomatic differences between the two languages. Well, they’re the same language, but between – idiomatic differences between American English and between British English. That’s all it is. The Americans messed things up. I guess. Blame America.

Andrew: But it is our fault, right? Not ours personally, but the country as a whole.

Ben: It’s better.

Andrew: I think it is better.

Ben: We’re…[laughs]

Andrew: That’s your typical American, grease at McDonald’s mentality, teenager.

Ben: Mock. [laughs] Well…

Andrew: I mean I’m not walking around saying, “Dawg, what’s up?” and “Dawg, yo ‘sup?”

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: “The kitchen’s done,” when you’re supposed to say finished.

Ben: That wraps up this week’s Listener Rebuttal. Remember send in your listener rebuttals to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. You can go to and use the Feedback Form and send them to us. So remember, if there’s something that we mess up, or if you have some complaints, just e-mail us. Right, Andrew? [laughs]

Andrew: That’s right.

Book Discussion: Chapters 4-5, Sorcerer’s Stone

Ben: Eric, this your baby right here. Our in-depth discussion. The Three Amigos here. We’re going to have an in-depth discussion about Sorcerer’s Stone Chapters 4 and 5. So, I hope all of you little kiddies out there read Chapters 4 and 5.

Andrew: Did your homework. That was your assignment.

Ben: Did your homework. That… Yeah, MuggleCast homework.

Andrew: I love assigning homework – my minions.

Ben: So Eric, do you want to start off with a summary or something here?

Eric: Sure, first I am going to say we did get a lot of feedback. And thank you to everybody who gave us feedback on the Chapter-by-Chapter segment. I did respond to a lot of the things in length over on our fan listing forums: But I’m just going to recap here. A lot of people seem to think it was a bit too much summary last week that we included in it, and that maybe we should bring up things, like, maybe the top four ideas that we think happened in the chapter and, you know, things like that. While we’re doing this chapter discussion, and I wanted to say…

Andrew: And to that I say, “Tough!”

[Ben laughs]

Eric: No, actually, you were the one that said, “Yeah, that’s a great idea!” until I thought…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Because if we only did four things it would only be – I took fifty notes for this chapter alone. I mean…

Ben: Eric Scull, you are hardcore!

Eric: I am, but it’s not like – I’m not going to talk about all of them, I’m not going to kill our listeners. I think that we should still follow Harry through the book so that we can point out issues.

Chapter 4 – The Keeper of the Keys

Ben: Chapter 4: “The Keeper of the Keys.” [impersonating Hagrid] Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts.

Eric: No you’re right.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: [impersonating Hagrid] Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Let’s just skip to the point because, as you anxious fans have said, “We’ve already read the books! We know everything!” So, here we go. First thing you notice, or first thing I noticed, Vernon, Uncle Dursley, was holding a rifle and, you know, that was the thing in the long slip that he bought and nobody knew what it was – next to the chips. Guys, why do you think he has a rifle? I mean, it seems like a stupid question but if you think about – here’s these, you know, magic people he’s running all across the country from and he buys the rifle, and Hagrid just bends it in two. It’s completely useless. So, why would Vernon even buy a rifle? Seems like a waste of money. He could have bought…

Andrew: Because…

Ben: It is. It is a waste of money.

Andrew: No, it’s not. He’s using it in his defense.

Ben: Sort of as a symbol. Yeah, I think J.K. Rowling, the reason she wrote it that way, it was a symbol to demonstrate just how scared he is and how he’s pulling at strings to try to find a way somehow to protect his family, and Harry, from the magical people.

Eric: Okay.

Ben: If you know what I’m saying.

Andrew: And didn’t you say, Eric, it just went to waste?

Eric: Yeah, it really did. Like, he could have bought more rations with that money. [laughs]

Ben: Oh yeah, more bags of chips.

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, he didn’t know Hagrid was going to show up and bend the gun in half. Like, not every wizard can bend a gun, so what’s the worst they could do? Grab it from them and…

Eric: I think they were very lucky it was…

Ben: Or they could zap them into oblivion. [laughs]

Andrew: Incendio.

Eric: You know? And they could turn the Dursleys into animals. Several times in the books the Dursleys are all worried about – especially after the Dudley pig thing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: But, anyway…

Andrew: True. But a gun is a gun.

Eric: A gun is a gun.

Andrew: Which is interesting. I don’t know how wizards would take a gun. Like, if someone is pointing a gun at you…

Eric: They would wrap their hands around the barrel, and they would pull it. [laughs]

Andrew: No. No, they wouldn’t. That’s interesting. How would wizards…

Ben: Actually, actually, actually…

Andrew: How would wizards react to a gun?

Ben: I don’t know.

Eric: They would do the Matrix thing with their wand, where they would stop it in mid-air with their wand. Here’s a book-movie discrepancy. It’s still… The first line of the chapter right? So, Hagrid bursts through the door, but in the movie – movie, it’s a little bit more comical. He says, “Oh, sorry about that,” and he goes and picks the door up. That doesn’t happen in the book. What happens in the book, Hagrid comes in – it’s rather rude. Because he comes in and they’re staring at him and Hagrid says – he says, “You wouldn’t happen to have some tea? It hasn’t been an easy journey.” It’s like – you know? He just comes in and is like, “Got some tea?”

Ben: Yeah.

[Ben and Eric laugh]

Eric: You know? Instead of like, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to,” this clumsy giant – and also, he recognizes Harry right away, which is interesting in the movie why they, make him recognize Dudley first, you know? And have him say, “You’re particularly round.”

Ben: Well, it was just for comic…

Eric: Well, I guess but…

Ben: Comic purposes.

Eric: It’s really interesting, so…

Andrew: I really think that was basically Chris Columbus’ style. He wanted to make it fun.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Like if you’re going to a movie to see entertainment and be entertained, Hagrid is a perfect of character to bring out the laughs from people because you see him come in, “Oops, sorry about that.”

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: You know? Ha, ha, ha, ha – look at him.

Ben: “Oops.”

Andrew: It was for comedy. Chris Columbus is a very family-orientated film maker.

Eric: He really is and he…

Andrew: When he’s filming, I will bet you he is always keeping the family of four going to see the movie in mind.

Eric: And Steve Kloves.

First Eye Mention

Here’s a big plot. Once Hagrid recognizes Harry, he says right away, out of nowhere, almost as his abruptly as he says, “You got any tea?” – which was rude. He turns to Harry and says, “You look like your dad except you’ve got your mother’s eyes. Those mother’s eyes.” Now we hear, time and time again. And just like where we want to track – where I wanted to track all of Harry’s dreams, we should track all the times they tell him he has his mother’s eyes because everybody, the first thing, “Oh, you look like your dad but you have your mothers eyes.”

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: What do you guys think? Like why is that – it’s after Book 6. And why is…

Ben: Right, well I think there’s something significant about Harry’s eyes.

Eric: I think there has to be, I mean…

Ben: Because it has something to do with, you know, it’s the one trait he has of his mother because besides that he looks pretty much like his dad. And his mother’s love is the only reason that he’s alive to begin with.

Eric: I think that’s interesting. What do – yeah…

Ben: What about the eyes though? What significance do they hold?

Eric: I don’t know. What do eyes do in the books? Have we met any powerful eyes, I mean any power…

Ben: Well, Voldemort’s eyes are oftentimes – aren’t they – they’re red. Right?

Eric: I don’t know. That might be a movie thing, that might be a book thing, I forget which. I think they’re slit-like. They’re like snake eyes.

Ben: Yeah, they’re slit-like but – I don’t know. Sometimes you can tell a lot by somebody’s eyes.

Andrew: Yeah, I was going to say – I think you guys are over thinking it a little too much. Eyes show the most emotion in someone’s face. I think…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Eh.

Andrew: I thought I remembered reading something about that. They got to, they show a million different things. If you just look at a person’s eyes, you could probably see how they’re feeling. Eyes are very defining.

Eric: I agree with that, and I was going mention…

Andrew: Eric, you have beautiful eyes.

Ben: He does. God, they’re beautiful.

Andrew: Like, what does anyone say? Even like your typical family? Your typical family member will go, “Oh, he has his mother’s eyes,” you know? Like to a newborn or, you know? No one says he has his mother’s…never mind.

Eric: [laughing] He has his mother’s… ankles.

Andrew: No.

Eric: They always bring up Lily’s eyes like it’s some kind of magical significance because they do bring it up a lot, but I wanted to say, in addition to what Andrew said, actually I agree with that. I think maybe – do you guys think that since they compare him to his dad physically, do you think that the relationship where they say that you have your mother’s eyes and the eyes tell most about the person, say that Harry isn’t cocky like his father was? Do you think that’s what JKR’s trying to draw out? That Harry even though he looks like his dad, he’s more kind than possibly we know James to have been.

Ben: I think that it’s – I think it’s just a distinct differentiation between him and his father. I personally think that’s all it is.

Eric: You are truly are not your father’s son, Harry. Because…

Andrew: No, not that way. There has got to be differences. If those two are just like each other, there are going to be a million more assumptions.

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: You’re right, you’re right.

Andrew: He can’t really have that. It’s a boring character. I mean, you read up on James and you know about Harry.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: They’re going to be exactly alike.

Hagrid’s Coat

Eric: Cool. In his coat, there were: a copper kettle, sausages, a poker, teapot, chipped mugs, and some amber liquid he took a swig from, which is probably alcoholic but shhh, we can’t say that. And so, in addition he also has the owl, and the letter, and the quill in his pockets which we find out later. That’s a lot of stuff in his coat. Where do you think he got one?

Andrew: And not only that, I’m looking at one page right now – Chapter 5, page 62 – oh, I’m a chapter ahead.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: But…

Eric: If it’s significant, that’s okay.

Andrew: …J.K. Rowling goes on to say: bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs…

Eric: Oh my god.

Andrew: …tea bags, and then finally Harry pulled out a handful of strange looking coins.

Eric: Huh. Wait, are you sure the coins wasn’t the Knut [pronounces it like newts] thing?

Andrew: It’s the Knuts [pronounces it like nuts}.

Eric: I actually think it’s pronounced Knuts. [pronounces it like newts]

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Actually…

Ben: They’re K-nuts. If you look on the Scholastic pronunciation guide.

Andrew. K-nuts or Knuts?

Ben: K-nuts.

Eric: Oh, K-nuts.

Andrew: Really?

Eric: Oh, that’s really cool because I don‘t know when that would have been…

Andrew: That’s weird.

Eric: It’s one of those extra pop fluff things. I’ll post it on a website but you know, we won’t hear it in the movie.

Andrew: Anyway, what was your question?

Eric: Where did Hagrid get his coat? Because that holds a lot of stuff, and why didn’t he have only one giant-sized pocket that’s the size of a room and he jumps into it and – I don’t know? [laughs]

Ben: I don’t know where he got his coat. It’s sort of silly.

Eric: Okay, then in that case, I think it’s important to know that when he does get the sausages, and the poker, and the tea, and stuff out of his pocket, he cooks up sausages and Harry likes them. Now this is…

Ben: [mock gasps] Oh my gosh, he likes food? He likes food! [laughs]

Eric: No, Hagrid’s food. It’s a downward spiral from here because that’s like the only food of Hagrid’s that Harry likes, isn’t it? Because like the rock cakes and the other stuff – from here on in, you know, Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn down everything Hagrid offers them.

Andrew: Well, it could have been one of those things where in the beginning of writing the book, Jo was like, “Hey, I’m going to…” She probably just didn’t think it through all the way.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah. Well, yeah. But Harry was starving too, so I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah, well, I think in the beginning of the book she didn’t really think about, “Oh, should Harry not like anything that Hagrid makes?” you know? Sausage isn’t like…

Ben: Yeah, how can you not like sausage?

Andrew: You know what I mean? Yeah.

Eric: Can you make a sausage bad? Yeah.

Ben: I don’t know.

Andrew: That’s definitely Hagrid food.

Ben: And Hagrid doesn’t – the food they don’t like of Hagrid’s is food that Hagrid has sort of like, home-brewed you know? [laughs] He made it himself.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: It isn’t like he went out and slaughtered the pig and made the sausage out of the entire intestines and stuff, but…

Mimble Wimble

Eric: I need Micah or Laura for this, but maybe you guys can help. When Hagrid…

Andrew: Why, are we too stupid to answer?

Eric: No, it’s not like that at all.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, go ahead.

Eric: Anyway, [laughs] when Hagrid backs Vernon Dursley into the wall he mutters something that sounds like Mimble Wimble. Well, Dumbledore is Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot or whatever, and he has like this Mugwump, this Supreme Mugwump thing. And there is all these other weird terms that – they’re like status symbols, but I thought, I swear I could have hear Mimble Wimble actually mentioned somewhere as something else. Like, it might be an actual…

Andrew: Somewhere else?

Eric: Like a word. Like in another future book like “Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak.” I don’t know, Mimble Wimble is – I just feel like I’ve heard it somewhere else. In fact, what kind of reply is that anyway? Hagrid goes up and is like “Mimble Wimble,” you know?

Ben: No, he was cowering. He was like [mutters incoherently]. It just sounded like Mimble Wimble.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: It’s not like he looked at Hagrid and he says, “Mimble Wimble!”?

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Ben: It’s like he was mumbling. He wasn’t…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: He was mumbling.

Eric: All right.

Ben: Not, “Mimble Wimble!” [laughs]

The Potters

Eric: This is our first correlation backwards. Our first backwards compatible correlation. Last week we were talking about McGonagall and Dumbledore on Privet Drive. Now, Hagrid tells Harry that not only he was famous but the Potters were famous. He says, “Your parents were famous. The famous Lily and James Potter.” And Harry’s like, “Really?” And Hagrid’s like, “Yeah, you didn’t know?” And then he goes into the car crash, but anyway. He says the Potters are famous, but now McGonagall and Dumbledore, you got to remember in Chapter 1, they’re walking along and she’s – McGonagall is trying to get the rumor out of Dumbledore, like what happened to the Potters, except she’s says, “What they’re saying is that Lily and James Potter are…well, that they’re dead.” Well, she talks to Dumbledore in a sort of third person sense about the Potters, but it seems that if they were in the Order, and McGonagall was in the Order previously and Dumbledore were in the Order, she would not have used the last name. Like she would have just said – it would have just been “Lily and James are dead?”

Andrew: Lily and James.

Eric: Lily and James. I mean…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Right after he nods, she’s like “Lily and James, oh I can’t believe it, Dumbledore.” So, she does use their first names like – I don’t know. It seems like some intimacy is lost. Anyway, the Potters were famous. Which was an interesting thing.

Ben: They were?

Eric: They really were and they were famous before Harry was famous, and so that’s…

Ben: Where did you read that at?

Eric: No, Harry hasn’t come across any books about – first of all, himself. Hermione said there are books everywhere about him, but he hasn’t come across books about himself…

Ben: Hold on, hold on a second.

Andrew: When did Hermione say that?

Ben: How do you know that Harry’s family was famous?

Eric: Because Hagrid says it. There are all these books apparently about Harry, so wouldn’t it make sense they are about his parents if his parents were famous?

Andrew: Are you sure Hermione says that? And when?

Eric: It’s in one of the future chapters I can’t talk about because we can’t read it yet.

Andrew: I never remember that. Interesting, though.

Eric: I think it’s on the train in Chapter 6 or 7 of this book. I think she says, “There are books written about you.”

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: Because she helped him out about Voldemort in the future or something. Oh, “I’ve read about you.” Remember she says…

Andrew: Oh, well that could be in a newspaper or something. That doesn‘t mean…

Eric: Oh well, anyway. Okay, it’s page 50 in the US version. It says, “‘But you must know about your mom and dad,'” he said. I mean “‘They’re famous. You‘re famous!'” Which is all he said. It’s right after Mimble Wimble. He says, “They’re famous.” Something out of nothing maybe, but it did say that they were famous. So, it’s interesting. Well, do you think they’re famous because he’s famous? Or do you think they were famous beforehand? Because if they are then Harry could easily read up on his parents.

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: You know? It seems like there are all these resources available to Harry that he’s not taking.

Andrew: That’s a good point. No, I think…

Ben: I don’t know.

Andrew: …they are famous because they are the parents of the Boy-Who-Lived.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: And everyone knows that is was Lily that protected Harry so that’s why she’s well-known.

Eric: Actually, wait, no, no, no. Because then he asks – Harry asks right after that, “What, my mom and dad weren’t famous, were they?” and the Hagrid says, “You don’t know. You don’t know.” So, actually it seems that it implies that they were famous before they had Harry – before they died. Because this is…

Andrew: No, he’s saying “were famous” because they’re dead.

Eric: My mom and dad weren’t famous – no.

Ben: Yeah, and that they’re…

Eric: No, because he should say “aren’t” then. If he said, “My mom and dad aren’t famous, are they?” He says, “Weren’t famous, were they?” They were at the time is what it‘s asking.

Andrew: No, I still think it was at the time when they died.

Eric: I don’t. I’m sorry.

Andrew: Let’s keep moving on. We’ve got some other stuff we can talk about.

Hagrid and the Letter

Eric: I think Hagrid knows what Dumbledore wrote in the letter or at least lot of it because – or at least he has an idea because he confronts the Dursleys about… He says, “You never told him, never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left for him? I was there, I saw Dumbledore leave it.” And I think that really implies, you know, “You never told him what was in the letter?” Because I think Hagrid knows what’s in the letter. Do you guys think so? And maybe Harry could consult him in the future about what exactly was in it?

Andrew: Never telling him – no, you’re thinking too hard at this.

Eric: No, I think we can imply…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: We can imply that the letter at least told him that he was a wizard or something, you know? And that he would be accepted into Hogwarts or whatever.

Andrew: The letter probably said what happened to the parents, to Lily and James. Yeah, that he’s a wizard and why he was brought to them.

Eric: Then what did, in Book 5, what did “remember my last” mean? Do you think that was in the letter or did that happen after the letter?

Andrew: No, I think that probably had to do with something afterwards…

Eric: I think so, too.

Andrew: Because there were so many run-ins with the magical world during Books 1 though 5, so, between the Dursleys.

Eric: I think “remember my…”

Andrew: I mean, just with, you know, like the accidents and all that.

Eric: Yeah, I think “remember my last” happened after the letter, but, that was that question.

Voldemort’s Attempt at Potter Persuasion

Eric: The two final theories of Chapter 4: Hagrid is telling Harry about his parents and he says, “Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head Boy an’ Girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before. He probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side. Maybe he thought he could persuade ’em…maybe he just wanted ’em outta the way.” You see, Hagrid says here that he thinks Voldemort tried to persuade the Potters into turning or something, because he says, “The myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before.” So, do you think, like Hagrid apparently thinks that Voldemort tried to turn the Potters to his side, to join him? And, why do you think he thinks that? That’s pretty big, don’t you think?

Ben: That is true.

Andrew: Was there…just trying to think how that kind of word would have spread. Because there wasn’t anyone else around that whole scene, right?

Eric: Yeah, why would he think that?

Andrew: Maybe it’s just misinterpretation. [laughs]

Eric: It could be just a silly Hagrid bumble.

Ben: Probably.

Andrew: Or just some random rumor.

Eric: Hagrid attributed – there’s an answer. Last week we asked what destroyed the Potters’ house – we asked what destroyed it? Hagrid thinks it was the Death Curse itself, even though the Death Curse normally doesn’t touch anything, Hagrid says that the Death Curse, when he says that Voldemort couldn’t even kill a little baby, he said, “It took care of your mom and your dad and your house even, but it couldn’t take care of you.”

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: You hear that? He says, like, “It took care of your mom and your dad and your house,” so I think, as far as Hagrid knows, it was the Death Curse that did destroy the house.

Chapter 5 – Diagon Alley

Andrew: Yeah, well. That does solve that question. So, that pretty much wraps up Chapter 4, how about we move on to Chapter Cinco now?

Eric: Okay, we are going to speed through Chapter 5, are you guys ready?

Ben: Let’s go, a hundred miles an hour.

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Eric: Shoot your Mountain Dew or caffeine or whatever you have. Okay, they go to bed [laughs] and they wake up the next day, and Harry has Hagrid’s coat over him and he says, he thinks it’s a dream and he hears the owl tapping on the window and he thinks it’s Petunia tapping on his cupboard. Anyway, I just realized…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: …how quickly Harry comes to the conclusion that it’s all a dream. It’s like he’s really willing to believe that it’s all a dream. So, do you guys think…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: …that the Harry Potter series is all a dream?

Ben: No.

Andrew: That tells you – I really… Everyone assumes that with every single book or…

Eric: I agree.

Andrew: …television show or movie. Well, not with the movies, by the end of a movie you know everything, but… Like, for example the television show Lost that we are staring a Podcast with me, Melissa, and John, hopefully someday soon…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Uh oh.

Andrew: Everyone’s like, “Oh, well maybe it’s a dream.” Why?

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Why? What kind of ending would that be?

Eric: What kind of a… Yeah, you’re right.

Andrew: Has there ever been a book, or movie, or television show where it ends up in a dream? I really don’t think so.

Ben: Right.

Andrew: I’m sure we’re going to get emails with someone saying, “Yeah, a movie back in 1970.”

Ben: Galadriel Waters theorized about this in both of her books, in all of the books she’s written to this point, about whether this series…there’s all types of things it could be. It could be like Alice in Wonderland. How does Alice in Wonderland end? Was that, “It’s all a dream?”

Eric: All I know is that Hagrid had dormice in his pocket, which is kind of like Alice in Wonderland.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Okay, the point we’re getting to is that, no, it can’t be true.

Eric: No, I think…

Andrew: Harry could have assumed – of course Harry could assumed it was a dream because he’s actually living in a moment like this.

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: But sometimes you’ve got to get yourself together…

Eric: [Sings] You’ve got to get yourself together…

Ben: I guarantee you that if…

Andrew: …and you can’t get out of it.

Eric: [Still singing] You got stuck in a moment…

Ben: Right, but – Eric!

Eric: [Still singing]…and you can’t get out…

Andrew: But oh Lord, look at him now, he got himself stuck in a moment.

Eric: Yeah, no seriously…

Andrew: And he can’t get out of it.

Eric: Who does that song?

Ben: U2.

Andrew: U2, [laughs] are you serious? You’re singing it.

Eric: [laughs] I didn’t just ask that question. Okay, no so…

Andrew: But it’s so typical…

Eric: No, in the case… I agree, I agree Andrew…

Andrew: It could be typical of anyone.

Ben: No, but seriously though, I think – Yeah, that’s the point. That’s what I was going to say.

Eric: Yeah, I…

Ben: Many people would be so mad if J.K. Rowling uses a lame ending…

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: …like, “And then, it was all a dream,” you know?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: He woke up and he searched for his scar.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Harry woke up in his four-story mansion with his parents by his bedside.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Sirius was there, a long-bearded man was there too.

Eric: You were there, you were there, you were there. [laughs and continues in a deep voice] “It was all a dream, Harry.” Okay, but see, yeah. My main thing against the dream theory, first of all, in the case of Lost, what sick mind comes up with all that drama, you know, for a dream? And also…

Andrew: The writers. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] The writers! Yeah, Chris Carter – X-files. But the – no, there are too many nights and days, I think. There is too much information. There is too many… There’s too much information, I think, in the Harry Potter series for it to believably be a dream. When I have really weird dreams–and I do have really weird dreams, I don’t learn anything new really. It just kind of like – it adds things, but I don’t really, you know, here Harry is for seven years. He sleeps, he wakes up, he eats, he goes and he plays Quidditch, he almost dies however many times – all that stuff and then he goes to bed at night. And, you know, how can going to sleep and waking – have you ever had a dream where you were having a dream, where you were having a dream, where you were having a dream? Have you? Because I haven’t.

Andrew: No, but I had this dream once where it was like I closed my eyes and I woke up and it was morning. It was so awesome.

Eric: Yeah, I thought I did that do…

Andrew: It’s like the shortest night’s sleep ever.

Eric: I was thirteen, I think and I was really tired and I closed my – I blinked and then it was morning again. Like I blinked, like I didn’t even feel like it was…

Andrew: Yeah. And then there was this one time where…

Ben: What do you mean? I’m confused. What are you talking about – you blink and it’s morning, I don’t get that.

Andrew: Like, you fall asleep and then it feels like a second later you wake up and it’s morning. That happened to me once.

Eric: That happened to me once, too.

Andrew: But, anyway…

Eric: Pointlessness. Hagrid… They take the boat that the Dursleys use to get on to the rock off the rock. Hagrid says, “We should take the boat because we shouldn’t use magic.” First of all, once they get in the boat, Hagrid says, “Do you mind if I do magic to make us go faster?” And Harry’s all like, “No.” And he’s like, “You shouldn’t mention it at Hogwarts.” So the whole reason they got in the boat was because they couldn’t do magic and then as soon as they get in the boat, Hagrid’s like, “This is – screw this Muggle thing, it’s too slow. We need to magic-it up.” He’s totally a hypocrite. And, now the Dursleys don’t have a ride back. How do you think the Dursleys got back? Did they swim?

Andrew: Oh, it’s another one of those building continuity problems where – they show up everywhere. It’s just another error. How do they get back? Well, wait a second, wasn’t there a man with a boat who drove them over originally?

Eric: No, No.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: They took the man’s boat and threw themselves over.

Andrew: Okay, so the man, the man… Well, if you want to argue this, you could say that the man came back over looking for them, to see what they were doing.

Eric: Because he didn’t see the…

Andrew: Picked them up and brought them back.

Eric: Yeah, maybe they didn’t…

Andrew: There’s the answer right there.

Eric: Maybe they didn’t pay for their…unless they paid ahead of time. Okay, so…

Ben: Maybe they floated on Dudley back over.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: He’s a big whale, pretty big whale.

Eric: Or Vernon.

Cornelius Fudge

Eric: Okay, according to Hagrid, you know, Hagrid starts reading the paper the owl brought, which we won’t talk about because we talked about Knuts and that’s the only thing we wanted to say about that. Hagrid is reading the paper and Harry asks him about a Minister of Magic, because Hagrid mentioned the Minister of Magic, you guys remember this?

Ben: Yes.

Eric: I think it said that Cornelius Fudge only appeared to the Muggle Minister in times of desperate crisis, like once every year or so, or months, you know? He didn’t keep him updated at all. So, according to Hagrid, the Minister of Magic’s main job is to keep the Muggles from noticing, but yet he never talks to the Muggle Minister so it seems. I don’t know. Like, what does Cornelius Fudge do all day besides send letters to Dumbledore asking him what to do all day?

Ben: Well, it’s the same type of thing you think about when you say, what does the principal at school do all day?

Andrew: Exactly.

Ben: I mean, sit back in the office and do nothing, you know. That’s totally not what they do. They actually have a job that’s a lot more complicated than you would think. Because when you’re on the outside looking in like that, at first glance, it appears that they’re not really doing that much, but in reality, they’re doing a lot.

Eric: I would agree with that.

Andrew: Paperwork, there’s hearings, there’s meetings.

Ben: Right.

Eric: Yeah, there’s bribes to accept from Lucius Malfoy.

Ben: And then, [laughs] yeah. Think about all the magical departments. He has to oversee all of them.

Eric: Does he though, does he? I mean, I think, in the case of Fudge, he’s very incompetent and I don’t even know if he would. Like, it’s really interesting. Like, he has to attend so many meetings…

Ben: I think people overplay the Fudge incompetency thing.

Eric: I would agree with that only because, if he was too incompetent, they would have kicked him out.

Ben: Yeah, he would have been impeach – the equivalent of the US President being impeached. But, the point I’m trying to make, the point that I think we’re all trying to make here is that – what I was trying to say basically was that Cornelius Fudge, even though sometimes it appears… For example, the only reason people say he’s incompetent… I kind of got…I don’t know what I was trying to say. But… [laughs]

Eric: It was because he was compared to Dumbledore a lot?

Ben: That and he just denied that Voldemort was back and that’s what people say made him incompetent. I think that the reason that he may have denied it to begin with was because he knew he wasn’t capable of coping with that and he didn’t want to basically have it be his administration that has to deal with Voldemort coming back and get blamed for everyone being killed and stuff like that.

Eric: I can really see that from a political standpoint, like…

Ben: Thank you.

Eric: Yeah, Ben! Woohoo.

Ben: [Imitating Andrew] Yeah! Yeah! All right!

Eric: Do you think on a side note relating back to the impeachment thing – do you think that Cornelius Fudge would have a relationship with the woman who was the voice on the phone in the telephone booth at the Ministry?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Aren’t you funny?

Ben: I would not be surprised.

Evil Wizards and Witches

Eric: Take this one on for size, this note kicks butt, I might say. “Not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” Now, you can twist – that’s a lot of double negatives there. But when Hagrid tells this to Harry, it is Hagrid, not Ron as it is in the movie – Hagrid says that there’s, listen to this, “There’s not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” Now, you could take this to mean that there’s no witches or wizards who weren’t in Slytherin that didn’t go bad.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: Can he mean that? But, Pettigrew…

Andrew: So all Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaws are good?

Eric: If you can read this like this, like “Not a single witch or wizard who went bad…” Like, “there was not single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” So, does that mean… We do know Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, right? Yeah, so does that mean that Pettigrew didn’t go bad? Does that mean that all these other characters who are, you know, other houses than Slytherin didn’t go bad? I mean, if this holds true, if Hagrid isn’t…

Ben: Well, it all depends on what your interpretation of “going bad” is because…

Eric: Well, Pettigrew killed the Potters, didn’t he?

Ben: I think, Pettigrew… Well, Pettigrew is misunderstood. He’s after power. He goes after the person – he’s not actually, he doesn’t want to be in a position of power himself. He wants to be where he’s able to, you know, follow somebody who has power because he’s not charismatic. He’s not good enough to be able to build it up himself, but he finds somebody who he can suck up to like Andrew does to me…

[Eric laughs]

Ben: …then, you know, he just has that situation.

Andrew: Okay, so he wants power, so does going to Voldemort consider himself going bad? I mean, I think so, he’s assisting the most deadliest, worstest, baddest, the meanest wizard alive…

Eric: Right, so then what Hagrid said is wrong…

Ben: The most deadly. [laughs]

Andrew: Mostest deadliest.

Eric: So, what Hagrid said is just a gross generalization and it really doesn’t apply to anything.

Andrew: Yeah, but you know, you have to keep in mind that Hagrid is not the brightest bulb in the box.

Eric: He’s not the brightest giant on the grounds. And so anyway…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Actually, he is.

Eric: Yeah, he is.

Andrew: And also the stupidest.

Eric: Well, he’s a half-giant. Not when Grawp’s there.


Eric: Harry goes into Ollivander’s – this is just real quick – he goes into Ollivander’s, and the back of his neck prickled and he says, “As if there–” JKR writes, “Harry sensed that there…”

Ben: It’s just a spooky place, man.

Eric: It is, but Harry sensed – this is like the quote, almost, “Harry sensed that there was some sort of secret magic.” Now, my question is who is Harry to judge magic? Harry hasn’t even experienced any kind of direct magic, so why would he even be equipped to feel like there’s some kind of “secret magic” within this place? I think it’s JKR telling us that there’s a secret magic in Ollivander’s shop, something we don’t know about, which could have further implications regarding the whereabouts of Ollivander.

Andrew: Well of course there is.

Eric: Well, right.

Andrew: You’re surrounded by these wands that can do thousands, millions of different things.

Eric: But that’s magic, it’s not “secret magic.” It might be “secret magic” because Harry doesn’t know about it, but the way it’s written it seems like it’s ancient… beyond. When I think of the term, “secret magic,” used in this context, I think of Dumbledore’s muttering that weird language at the end of Book 6 when he’s like finds out that he has to cut his wrists to like spray blood to get the Horcrux. I mean, that’s what I think when I think “secret magic.” And like, the door in the middle of nowhere, the invisible stuff.

Andrew: I think it’s called “secret” because Harry is not aware of what any of these hold. So, it is a secret to him.

Eric: So…

Andrew: Well no, not only that, I mean…

Eric: So any magic is “secret magic”?

Ben: No, because Ollivander’s has been within – it’s sort of a – it’s a family business and it’s been there for centuries.

Eric: Is it a family business, or is it just Mr. Ollivander? Could he have been the one who’s been around since 382 B.C.?

Andrew: He’s a pretty old guy. [laughs] Well, not that old.

Ben: That too and he disappeared in Book 6.

Eric: Well, Flamel is 666…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: …in Sorcerer’s Stone, so…

Ben: Right, but he had the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Eric: Yeah, he had the Elixir of Life, right.

Ben: Right, but the point is, about Ollivander. I don’t know, I think the “secret magic” may have something to do with, you know, just the aura you get when you walk in. Do you know what I mean? Have you guys ever been someplace where it feels like, “Oh there’s something.” You know, like when you go to New York City, for example. Andrew and I talk about this all the time. You know? You just get this energy off the city…

Eric: Yeah, it is in the air.

Ben: …and yeah, it’s a positive energy, you know? But, in terms of, you know there may be some places too where people, you know, you go there and it just makes you depressed because of the way it is.

Eric: Yeah, like a funeral parlor, you wouldn’t find yourself being immensely, you know, joyous in a funeral parlor…

Ben: Excited to go there.

Eric: …unless it’s somebody you really hated.

Andrew: That’s mean, yeah.

Eric: [laughs] That’s a horrible thing to say. But anyway, no, no. I think JKR classifies a lot of rooms, you know, based on what Ben said, I think she does classify a lot of rooms as having like a somber, library sort of, you know, you can’t talk and this kind of thing. Like that’s how she says how Trelawney’s room is, you know kind of like…

Andrew: And you’re unsure of it, so that’s…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: …sort of a way to call it a secret.

Eric: But, my guess was that, since she mentioned “secret magic” and Harry was rather ill-equipped to disguise, like, any magic at all, let alone “secret magic,” I think she was trying to tell us – that it’s possible that she’s trying to tell us that there is some kind of ancient stuff, but I don’t know how that would come into play, considering Ollivander went missing. Like, I don’t know, like as soon as Voldemort enters Ollivander’s shop to buy another wand, Ollivander just disappears? Like he folds up, or it’s like a Fidelius Charm? You know, what’s the deal? “Secret magic” can imply a lot of things. I just wanted your thoughts.

Ben: Well, the building – the building could be enchanted for certain things and that might be the “secret magic” that he’s thinking of.

Andrew: And Harry, at this point, Harry has no clue…

Ben: Like you said, like…

Andrew: …what any of this. So..

Ben: Right, right. And like you said, and like you guys were talking about how she has a lot more narrating in the book at the beginning because we have to learn everything first. And we grow – we grow as Harry does, and so it could be, it could go back to that, where she still hasn’t really explained much yet.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Okay.

Ben: And, you know, “secret magic” is just really the magic that the wands can hold.

Eric: So you’re saying that was like an initial…

Ben: Because he didn’t know any spells.

Eric: That was like an initial introduction to the kind of environments we’d be seeing in the future?

Ben: Right. It could be that, or it could be something deeper.

Eric: Okay. Same page as the “secret magic” reference, which is 63 in the UK edition – UK paperback, woo! I was hoping to have Jamie on this week so he could read the UK with me and we’d both be on the same page for once, but anyway, another mention to Harry’s mother’s eyes. It’s just another mention on page 63. Ollivander says, “You look like your father, but you have your mother’s eyes,” or whatever. But guys, this is possibly the biggest theory. This is the “shan’t/won’t,” only it’s more significant. This is another tie-in to last week’s show, Chapters 1 and 2, and it has something from Chapter 5. Ollivander greets Harry. He recognized him right away, of course, and he says, you know, “Harry Potter…” Actually, I can read the direct quote because I wrote down the page number. Yay for me! Sixty-four in the UK edition, as I turn to it right now. Okay. He says, “Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes. ‘And that’s where…’ Mr. Ollivander touched the lightening scar on Harry’s forehead with a long, white finger. ‘I’m sorry to say I sold the wand that did it.'” He says. And that’s where…[snaps]! And he points to his scar. That’s awkward. And you know why that’s awkward is because in Chapter 1, McGonagall – it’s right before Dumbledore says it, “He’ll have that scar forever…”

Andrew: Hold up, hold up.

Eric: All right.

Andrew: [laughs] Before you go into going crazy here. And that’s where – that’s where the scar is.

Eric: No, no. And that…

Andrew: That’s where Voldemort cast the spell from the wand that Mr. Ollivander…

Eric: Exactly.

Andrew: …sold to him.

Eric: Exactly. And that’s what I’m going to. No, and that’s where – I’m thinking it means and that’s where… but is that where the Death Curse hit him? Is that what he’s saying? Is he saying, “And that’s where the Death Curse hit you, creating that scar!” Or is he saying, “And that’s where Voldemort made his Horcrux!” Or, you know, “And that’s where…” You know, because a Death Curse, first of all, shouldn’t leave any mark and especially not a mark in a specific place. You know, what is that trying to say? And that’s where his wand was aimed when he fired the Death Curse at you? What does Ollivander know about Harry that Harry doesn’t? You know, about this whole…

Ben: It’s probably, “And that’s where the spell hit you.”

Andrew: That’s what I said, yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: But it…

Ben: I get… Yeah, it as simple as…

Eric: …it seems like such a specific place. Look at this. I’m tying up loose ends. In Chapter 1 – in Chapter 1, he has… After Harry arrives, listen to this. “Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over a bundle of old blankets. Inside, just visible was a baby boy fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead, they could see a curiously shaped cut like a bolt of lightening. ‘Is that where?’ whispered Professor McGonagall.” Is that where WHAT? This – McGonagall says, “Is that where…” and Dumbledore replies immediately, “Yes. He’ll have that scar forever.”

Ben: Is that where the spell hit you!

Andrew: Yeah, yeah! Is that where… [laughs]

Eric: The spell doesn’t – no!

Ben: Is that where the spell hit him! [laughs]

Andrew: Nobody’s seen – Shhh. Nobody’s seen it before, so your first reaction… Yeah.

Ben: Nobody’s seen it for eleven years. For eleven years.

Eric: Because they don’t know.

Ben: Forget you two!

Eric: No. I don’t think that’s it at all, because they don’t know the Death Curse isn’t supposed to leave a mark, first of all. So is that where the spell hit him? Is that what they’re asking? Is that what she’s asking and Ollivander’s asking? Because Ollivander proclaims it. He’s like, “And that’s where something did this to you.” But McGonagall asks, “Is that where,” and Dumbledore says “yeah.” It’s the exact same words! It’s, like, bringing attention to the scar. But I really don’t feel that it’s just simple, like “Oh, and that’s where the Death Curse hit you,” because it’s not supposed to leave a mark. Is that where Lily’s love set in? Is that where Voldemort imprinted himself into you? You know, they’re asking all these questions, but Dumbledore replied, “Yes.” It makes me think that Dumbledore and Ollivander know a lot more about Harry’s scar than they’re ever letting on.

Andrew: Well, that could very well be, but if they both know it, if they both know it, then wouldn’t a lot of other people know? And in that case, wouldn’t someone have told Harry by now? You know? It’s open for a lot of debate.

Eric: I’m not thinking – okay. But ‘is that where,’ that’s like the whole chapter of this whole… It’s the epiphany of everything, because they always reference Harry’s scar and then it cuts off.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true, good point. Hopefully in Book 7 we’ll find out!

Eric: They’re like…

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: “And that’s where, dot, dot, dot.”

Ben: Do you guys know – do you know what really excites me, though, is after we do this and after we’re done doing all of our speculating, and we come back and we look back to all that we’ve said. I’m anxious to see how right we were about things. [laughs]

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Ben: After Book 7.

Eric: I really am. And you know, after we have all these episodes out, we can easily – well, they won’t all be on the feed, which sucks. But they’re, you know, on MuggleCast dot com, you’ll be able to go back and any time in the future, ten years from now, you’ll be able to go back and actually pick a chapter. Like, if you wanted to just read one chapter in the middle of the series, you could hear our discussion on it. It’d be like a companion.

Ben: So, that wraps up the Chapter-by-Chapter discussion for Episode 32 of MuggleCast. Hope you guys enjoyed reading along with us, because we’re having a good time discussing it.

Andrew: We really are.

Ben: It may get a little bit heated from time to time, but we enjoy it.

Segment Contest Honorable Mention

Ben: Next thing we’re going to move on to is the Create Your Own MuggleCast Segment entry. Honorable mention goes to: Several Minutes with Snape. Dun dun dun dun.

Andrew: This is – this was a really – once again, Laura, Micah, and I judged these, and this one was another pretty humorous one. It’s very clever, so… This is also, yeah. This is also the last of the MuggleCast segments that we’re going air actually on the MuggleCast show, and then the rest that were submitted will go into the feed. [laughs] So here it is now, Several Minutes with Snape, by Luke from Melbourne, Australia.

Several Minutes with Severus

Snape: Hello, and welcome to yet another exhilarating episode of Several Minutes with Severus, here on the Wizarding Wireless Network, where I teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, etcetera, etcetera. This show, as always, is brought to you by our sponsors, Total Wassup Daddy, and their new Diagon Alley store – where the latest in filth bling is at fully sick prices. I’m your host, Severus Snape.

First up, the news. Ministry of Magic officials are still searching for the murderer of Albus Dumbledore. Any listeners who might know anything about the whereabouts of the man with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, a tendency to speak in a soft, slow, depressing voice, and say nasty things, should give him a few galleons and maybe some new boots, as mine are worn out at the heel. Those using the Floo powder network to go to work today should take care around the Ministry. An unfortunate collision between an Unspeakable and a chimney sweep has caused severe fireplace jams all the way back to Diagon Alley. Residents of the house at Feelockam Alley, who crossbred a bulldog with a Shih Tzu, are advised: “That’s not funny.” And finally, a foolish wizard who ended up the victim of a series of joke items purchased from Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes would like his legs back.

Well, every week here on the show, we allow you to send in your wacky jokes on this Snape’s Sniggering Section. Today’s joke comes from the Ministry of Magic and has been officially passed by a panel of experts.

Knock Knock.
May I enquire who is there?
Your husband.
Well, I’m afraid I can’t let you in without a code word because there are dark wizards about.

Hilarious, is it not?

Here’s the part of the show where you can ring up and pester me with your woefully superficial problems and I pretend to care and offer advice not endorsed by any professionals whatsoever. Go ahead Caller One, I believe you are Harry or Sarry.

Harry: Ah, hello there.

Snape: Hello to you, Harry.

Harry: I have this problem, you see.

Snape: [interrupts Harry] That does not surprise me in the slightest.

Harry: Well, you see, I’m actually looking for someone.

Snape: And who is that?

Harry: Well, I was wondering – could I just pop right into the station and show you a picture?

Snape:And why is it necessary to come to the station?

Harry: Well, so I can kill you – I mean, kill… kill… someone.

Snape: Thank you, Caller One.

Now that Idiot has ceased wasting valuable time here on the show, it’s time to move on to our voicemails. This one comes from Ronald.

Ron: Well Severus, I was just wondering, how can I stop my best friend from dating my sister? Thank you very much! Love your show, listen to every week.

Snape: Well, Ronald, I suggest poison. As it happens, to me in my youth, I was tormented by a pig-headed and arrogant bully at school. However, my motto has always been forgive and forget. So later in life, I naturally got him murdered, forgave myself, and forgot all about it.

Now we come to everyone’s favorite section, Spy on Severus. I’m right here.

And now to the forecast: up in the areas of Manchester, it will be freezing cold, as low as negative 12 degrees Celsius. Things will get very hot in here though, when I find the little pixie who stole the rest of my weather report.

Today’s book review is on the A to K section of the Yellow Pages, by Anonymous. I found the start thrilling, but the plot became repetitious; and the sequel, L to Zed, was much of the same thing.

We now come to our final section of the show, where I tell you what will happen in the next show. I will, however, maintain suspense and keep a tight lip on this matter.

Well, thank you for joining us here at Several Minutes with Severus, brought to you by the Death Eaters, where they guarantee dismal service or your children back. Stay tuned for our next show here on the Wizarding Wireless Network, Five Frightfully Fur-Fluffing Fun-Filled Fashions from Gregory Goyle, who would like to thank our alliteration expert for coming in one letter of the alphabet too early.

Until next week, I’m Severus Snape. But after that, I’m changing my name to Elvis.

Andrew: Okay, so once again, that was Several Minutes with Snape by Luke from Melbourne, Australia. Congrats to him! And don’t forget, we will be running everyone else’s segments that were entered into the comments – er, into the contest what, like, two months ago? [laughs] They will be…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: They will be airing in their own show – probably, like, two shows – coming up in the next few weeks.

Eric: Cool.

Andrew: [whispers] Once I’m not lazy!

Looking Ahead

Andrew: Okay everyone. We’re going to cut the show a little short this week, because we want to have everyone on for the voicemails as well as everything else next week. A full crew will be back with the regular content and everything else you have come to love, right here on MuggleCast.

Ben: Okay! Well, everybody, that wraps up Episode 32 of MuggleCast. Next week on the show, we have many things coming back to you.

Andrew: And an…

Ben: Such as…

Andrew: …an editorial. Hopefully.

Ben: …the Editorial Discussion.

Andrew: Hopefully.

Ben: Hopefully.

Andrew: We’re not – we’re having a hard time getting editorialists to come on and talk with us. So, if you have a favorite one in mind, make sure to email them and say, “Hey! You should call MuggleCast. E-mail Micah.”

Ben: I really want to get Maline on.

Andrew: Email her.

Ben: The North Tower? That’d be a good idea. That’d be good. And also, we have our What If segment, which we skipped over this week also because of the lack of numbers. We can also do the Listener Rebuttals, the voicemails, and everything. Kevin Steck will be back next week with more voicemails than you can imagine! Awww, geez. It’s going to be incredible.

Eric: And also, Chapter-by-Chapter. We’re thinking of doing Chapters 6 and 7, to let you know what chapter we’re… Once we get into the future books, we’ll be able to jump ahead a little bit more. But right now, the whole thing, the whole introduction to Harry is where all this… We’re taking it a little slow, so we’re still doing two chapters at a time. We hope it’ll go faster. But six and seven for next week.

Andrew: Yeah, which is another thing. We got – we seriously got a record number of emails this – over the past week, we got like 400. And that’s because last week, last week I was like, “Send this to mugglecast at staff! Send that to mugglecast at staff! Send that to mugglecast at…” [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: So… What?

Eric: Wait, Andrew! The most important rebuttal – Tootsie Rolls. They’re invented, or they’re made by the Tootsie Roll Company. Tootsie Rolls.

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: I think it’s literally called…

Andrew: God bless them.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: …Tootsie Rolls Industries, Incorporated. Chicago, Illinois. And I’ve been to Chicago.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: So next time I’m in Chicago, I’ll have to go to…

Andrew: Yup.

Eric: …there’s a street address, but yeah.

Andrew: Take a picture?

Ben: Tootsie…yeah.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: So, thanks…

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Thanks everyone for your emails…

Ben: Hope you all had fun.

Andrew: …and thanks for all your support. You know, I love, like, going on, like, MySpace and just, like, the fan forums and the chat room, and just seeing everyone, how appreciative they are of the show. And, you know, we’ve said it before. We love the, we just love the reactions.

Ben: Yeah, we love you guys! Okay, everybody. I hope you all enjoyed the show. Remember, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please send them to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Continue to visit MuggleNet, continue to visit the site. Hope you guys had fun! I’m Ben Schoen.

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Eric: [impersonating Jamie] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] I’m Kevin Steck.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: [impersonating Laura] I’m Laura Thompson.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] And I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: Goodnight!

Eric: [impersonating Laura] Goodnight!

Ben: Goodnight, everybody!


Andrew: Just, like, the fan forums, and the chat room and just seeing everyone and how appreciative they are of the show. And, you know…

Eric: I feel so bad, I have like ten thousand friend requests.

Andrew: …we’ve said it before. We just love the reactions.

Eric: It’s funny, because I have ten thousand…

Andrew: Okay, don’t show off.

Eric: No! I have ten thousand friend – no!

Andrew: I bet I have more friends than you on MySpace.

Eric: I have ten thousand friend requests, but I have no posts.

Andrew: You’re such a liar! [laughs] Shut up!

Eric: No, no! But I have no posts!

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: Not one single – so, like, I haven’t updated – I created the account.

Ben: Awww.

Eric: In fact, I think it’s dead now. I think they actually disactivated – deactivated – disconnected the MySpace account, because I didn’t use it. But I had so many friend requests. It was so funny because I didn’t have time to update.

Andrew: [laughs] You’re such a show-off.

Eric: No! I’m not a show-off!

Andrew: [laughs] You’re such a…

Eric: I’m saying that it’s so sad…

Andrew: “I had…”

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: “…thousands of friend requests, but they deactivated it, so it all went away.”

Eric: All I’m saying is…

Andrew: What?

Ben: Dude, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. I can barely fit…

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Andrew, Andrew I can barely fit in this chat, his ego’s so big! Ugh!

Eric: All I’m saying is my reputation precedes me.

Ben: I think it’s time – I think that it’s time to say goodnight.


Written by: Micah, Ally, Martina, and Sarah