Transcript #52

MuggleCast 52 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because, because, because, because this is MuggleCast Episode 52 for August 20th, 2006. presents Traffic Blazers. Submit your business info to more than 200 search engines and directories and position your website for top-rankings with Google and other leading search engines. With Traffic Blazer from number one domain registrar, you’ll get your share of Internet business.

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the show, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: And I am Ja-mie Lawrence.

Andrew: And joining us this week, Claire O’Connor. Hi, Claire.

Claire: Hello.

Jamie: Hey, Claire.

Ben: [laughs] It’s a US newscaster.

Claire: Thank you for having me on the show.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Jamie, what’s your deal with these “O’s” in front of last names?

Jamie: Ah, well, you see, my experience with US newscasters, which I have to say, is far from substantial…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …has told me that every single newscaster is “Something O’Something.” I mean, you’ve got Conan O’Brien, and I won’t list any more since there are so many.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I could be here forever. So, yeah.

Claire: You don’t know any more.

Andrew: There’s really not many more. [laughs]

Jamie: Sure, sure, sure, sure. There’s um…

Ben: Okay, and how is Conan O’Brien a US newscaster?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: He’s a late night talk show.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: Okay, a US TV person then, Ben. Stop picking holes in my flawless argument.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It will get you nowhere, seriously. Absolutely nowhere.

Andrew: Speaking of flawless, awesome newscasters, Micah O’Tannenbaum is standing by in the MuggleCast news center with the past week’s Harry O’Potter news stories.


Micah: Forbes magazine has named author JK Rowling the world’s ninth-highest earning celebrity. Apparently, she makes a cool $145 per minute compared to the $77 per minute from last year. Hannah Clark of the magazine, said: “With the $145 she earns every minute, Harry Potter author JK Rowling could buy more than a few boxes of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, one of the young wizard’s favourite sweets.”

In a recent poll conducted among 1,213 US citizens, an interesting discovery was made: more people know about the Harry Potter than the British prime minister, Tony Blair. The Bleier Centre for Television and Popular Culture in New York said: “These results are not about how ‘dumb’ Americans are, but about how much more effectively popular culture information is communicated.”

In a new interview with The Independent, Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Potter films speaks about taking a role outside the wizard series. The article also asked him to answer some questions about his career.

In a separate brand new interview, Julie Walters, who plays Mrs. Weasley, talks about her current acting projects, Driving Lessons, the publication of her first tome, and much more. On Potter, she says she will film her scenes for Order of the Phoenix sometime this fall, and confesses to not being quite an avid reader of the books, although her daughter is. So, I guess that makes up for it.

Jo Rowling and husband Neil Murray attended the movie premiere of Snow Cake earlier today at the Edinburgh Film Festival. Some photos of their appearance can be seen in our galleries. Alan Rickman, who plays Professor Snape, stars as Alex Hughes in the film.

In movie news, the first ever photograph of Natalia Tena sporting purple hair and in full Nymphadora Tonks costume has surfaced online. The picture, which was taken on the set of the fifth film, can be seen over on

And has been told by Warner Bros. that Order of the Phoenix will be released in Spain on July 20th, 2007.

Additionally, Harry Potter Fan Zone reports that the movie distribution company who will be handling the movie in Australia has announced a change in the release date. The new date is July 12th, 2007, which would be several weeks earlier than the previously set date of September 6th. We are working to confirm this information.

Tom Felton (who plays Draco Malfoy) was in Pennsylvania past week for the annual Junior Carp Tournament.  We now have several pictures of Tom up in our galleriesfrom the event!

And finally, the Encyclopedia and Movies Sections of our site have been revamped and there is now a transcript and video available from our live Leaky Mug New York City podcast. So be sure to check all of that out.

That’s all the news for this August 20th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show!

Happy Birthday Micah!

Jamie: Can I just come in here and say a big, big, big happy birthday to Micah. Belated birthday greetings for the 17th, which was a few days ago. So, hope he…

Andrew: He turned 24.

Jamie: So, I’m going be extremely…

Claire: Happy birthday, Micah!

Jamie: I’m going to be extremely American here and say, have a great day, buddy.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: He would have had a great day.

Recording Issues

Andrew: We were supposed to have Kevin on this week, but he’s actually sleeping because we were recording earlier than normal and once again, he dropped the ball.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: We actually tried to record earlier this week, but [laughs] he was sleeping again. So…

Jamie: Yeah, this show has probably been the most put off show. We tried to record it, which day? Thursday?

Andrew: Mhm. No, Wednesday, I think.

Jamie: Wednesday, moved to Thursday…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: … moved to Friday.

Andrew: Moved to Saturday.

Jamie: Yeah, moved to Saturday.

Andrew: Oh yeah, moved to Saturday. [laughs]

Jamie: Moved Sunday – moved to today.

[Andrew still laughing]

Jamie: So, we’re very committed, but it’s just, you know?

Andrew: It’s hard, it’s hard.

Jamie: It is hard.

Nicknames For Micah

Andrew: It’s hard work. So, anyway, moving right along… Oh, we have some nicknames for Micah. I think he put these in the Writely because he wanted us to see them.

Jamie: Bring them up?

Andrew: They just keep coming! They just don’t stop! His name is so versatile. The “Micahwave.”

Jamie: We’ve had that before, haven’t we? I’m sure we’ve had that before.

[Claire laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, but I think we cut it out of the show. [laughs]

Jamie: Oh!

Andrew: So, we’re doing them again. “Micah-Tan the Anchorman,” “Mic Check.” Yeah. If we did, sorry.


Andrew: Anyway, Listener… No, no, let’s do some announcements first. Podcast Alley; don’t forget to vote for us there. Podcast Awards – we’re hoping that we did win at the Podcast Awards, and we are going to announce now that we will be in California.

Jamie: Really, Andrew?

Andrew: Yes.

Jamie: I was really hoping that we’d lose.

Ben: [laughs] That we lost.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I’ve got my fingers crossed that…

Ben: That we lost.

Jamie: we come in last. Yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Hopefully, hopefully.

Andrew: Anyway, [still laughing] we’re announcing now that we are going to be in California the last week of September and we will be doing a live Podcast. However, we don’t know when yet. It will probably be during the week of the 24th. The Podcast Awards are on the 29th. So, we’ll have more details on that hopefully soon.

Claire: I want to go!

Ben: So, here’s your challenge. Here’s your challenge: [music plays in background] We’ve all heard the song by Phantom Planet called “California.”

Claire: Awww!

Jamie: I haven’t.

Ben: Your job…

Claire: The OC.

Ben and Claire: [singing] California…

Ben: [singing] Here we commmmmmmme…

Andrew: Yeah. Does it sound like this?

Jamie: Correction, then. I have.

[Claire laughs]

Ben: Your job is to write a LeakyMug/MuggleCast remix to that song and submit the lyrics to ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Andrew: And then what?

Ben: Then the winner gets a free t-shirt.

Jamie: In California or now? Or…

Ben: A free LeakyMug t-shirt.

Jamie: After they’re done, yes.

Ben: Yes, after they’re done.

Andrew: Also, Jamie, I hate to put you on the spot for this but [laughs] do you have the name of the person who won our little mini-contest last week?

Jamie: Oh, yeah, I do. I don’t know his last name, but Rob from… Now, I don’t know how to pronounce this. It’s one of the hardest things. That place in Florida that has about 18 “S”s and 18 “I”s in it. Kiss-im-mee? Is that how you pronounce it?

Andrew: Laura sent me the pronunciation [laughs] earlier this week, but now I forget it because she knew we would butcher it. It’s Kiss-ay-me?

Jamie: Kiss-ay-me. Well, yeah, Rob from there won a lovely…

Ben: Kiss me, Claire.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Rob from Kiss-im-mee, Kissimmee, Kiss-ay-me, has won a lovely iPod Squares MuggleCast t-shirt. So, I hope you enjoy that, Rob.

Andrew: Speaking of MuggleCast t-shirts, the current designs – we only have a few of them left to sell and then they will be retired in favor of some brand new MuggleCast designs, which are nearing completion.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: They’re all fantastic, and we cannot wait to release them.

Ben: So, it’s just like when Disney will pull The Lion King off of the shelves and out of stores.

Andrew: “Go in the Disney Vault forever!”

Ben: Yeah, it goes in the Disney Vault, you know?

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: Well, these t-shirts are going to go in the MuggleCast Vault. So, you have to purchase one right now. It’s your last chance to buy the MuggleCast squares t-shirt. So, if you were even on the fence about buying one before, hopefully this will put you back to the good side. You need to purchase a t-shirt.

Jamie: But don’t worry because, we’re going to cryogenically freeze them so we can bring them back in 50 years.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: You can buy one then.

Andrew: You can file “Save As” in Photoshop.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Claire: Didn’t Walt Disney freeze his head? Didn’t he freeze his head? That was weird.

Jamie: Whose head?

Claire: That was really weird.

Jamie: Whose head are we freezing?

Claire: Walt Disney froze his own head.

Jamie: No way! Really?

Andrew: No, he didn’t.

Claire: Seriously, like he did. He froze his own head. Honestly, I swear to God, yeah.

Jamie: Where’s it kept now?

Claire: [laughs] In the Disney Vault.

Jamie: For talking points, you know, if you keep it in your living room.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Jamie: “What’s that?” “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just Walt Disney’s head. So, do you fancy a drink?”

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, well, the new t-shirts are really, really nice. They’re made by Sam at again. One is designed specifically for all you girls out there because about 78% of our listening audience is girls. We should set up a dating service through MuggleCast…

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: … for all these guys that listen to the show.

Ben: If this is of interest for you, please e-mail in.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs]Dating on MuggleCast.

Ben: Dating at staff dot MuggleNet… No, I’m just kidding.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Ben: That’s not really – don’t send emails there.

[Ben and Claire laugh]

Listener Rebuttal – James is Really Dead

Andrew: [sighs] Anyway, rebuttals this week; we have a lot of them. We have a few extra eye rebuttals because we asked for people’s thoughts.

Our first one, not concerning eyes, comes from Claire of Australia. Claire from Australia, she writes:

“I was listening to Episode 51 when you were talking about there being a chance of James Potter still being alive. I definitely don’t think that is possible because in The Goblet of Fire, in the battle scene between Harry and Voldemort, when their wands connect and the last people that Voldemort killed came out of his wand as memories, which is also known as [Mispronounces word] Pri – Pri – Pri – Prior – Prior… ”

Claire: [Pronounces correctly] Priori Incantatem!

Andrew: ” …Incantatem.” [laughs] “James did definitely come out of Voldemort’s wand. So, if he wasn’t dead, how would he be able to, just as Lily and other people Voldemort had killed, did?”

[Claire and Jamie laugh]

Claire: What?

Andrew: [laughs] The point is, a lot of people sent in this same point, that James came out of Voldemort’s wand, so he must have been dead, because we were like, “Is James really dead?”

Jamie: [laughs]Oh, James came out of Voldemort’s wand, what a line.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Listener Rebuttal – Eye Color

Andrew: Anyway, B.D. writes:

“The subject was brought up about JK Rowling describing someone’s eyes as black or gray, and it is true that she does often refer to people as having them. It is also true to imagine those types of eyes. It is also true that she described Voldemort’s eyes as red, and it is easy to imagine them as red. But, when it came time to reveal Voldemort to the world, the filmmakers took them out because the effect, while imaginable, was less believable. In a round about way, I think black and gray eyes is more of JK Rowling using a literary license. Also, black or dark eyes are historically a way of saying someone is handsome or brooding…

Jamie: Brooding. Brooding.

Andrew: Broding? Brooding. …which is odd to me because these are two different things. Also, ask anyone who has had a black eye and they will tell you that is nothing to do with the pupil, iris…”

Jamie: And they’ll punch you.

Claire: Yeah, you’ll get punched.

[Andrew and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Well, right, that’s what happens when someone hits you but, “To cap things off, eyes are not necessarily black, gray, blue, green, yellow, or red, but the writer is the master of their universe, and Rowling is the master of ours and if she calls them techno-colored eyes then they are.” [laughs] “However, remember that red ferns don’t always grow on graves and green eyes are not always greener when they came from your mother.”

Jamie: That is a very poetic message.

Claire: It is indeed.

Jamie: I’m very touched by the, sort of, fluidity of it. Should we have a moment of silence; quiet contemplation now?

Andrew: For B.D. in Alabama?

Jamie: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: Right now. One, two, three.

[Moment of silence]

Ben: That was great. Great silence.

Claire: Fabulous.

Andrew: Jamie, would you like to read off the next rebuttal?[laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Write a Book

Jamie: Oh, I thought that was extremely good. Extremely good. Okay, this is from Don’t Know and Not Sure. Their ages combined, which is 28. I don’t know if that’s 28 each and we have to combine that or if its 28 in total. But they say:

“Hey, guys and Laura…”

And Claire – don’t forget.

“This is Don’t Know and Not Sure and we have an idea to solve your financial problems. Write a book together! All the real Harry Potter fans will buy it and then you can stop begging us to buy t-shirts and making excuses about how our other…

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: …shirts will explode. Because they won’t.

They will, they will. Your shirts will explode!

“We hope you take our brilliant advice. Love the show, bye!”

Ben: What irony!

Jamie: Yes, thank you, Don’t Know and Not Sure. We are writing a book, making a film…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: …going into the real estate business, building cruise liners…

Andrew: But, come on, seriously. Why on Earth would we write a book? That doesn’t make sense.

Ben: That doesn’t make any sense.

Jamie: That doesn’t make any sense at all.

Ben: I would not want to be involved with that.

Jamie: No, I tell you why, because the effort – especially if there’s a deadline or something, you know? Like, I mean, I just, I don’t know.

Andrew: Like September 1st. That’s just outrageous.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that is stupid, that is stupid. But, thank you, Don’t Know and Not Sure for caring about us.

Andrew: Well, I’m really glad they wrote in because, you know, remember last week we asked them to [laughs] write in.

Jamie: Oh, we did, didn’t we? Yeah! Because their cousin once removed Can’t Say wrote in, so it was only fair for Don’t Know and Not Sure to write in, as well.

Listener Rebuttal – Lucky Charms

Andrew: Yeah, and our last rebuttal is specifically for Jamie – is from Deir.. Dei… Dedre…

Jamie: Deirdre.

Andrew: Dier… Dre… Deidre…

Claire: Deirdre!

Andrew: Fourteen! [laughs] Location: Books A Million, which is a bookstore I think. She writes:

“In Episode 51 Jamie was eating lucky charms. I was…”

Ben: No, they call her house Books A Million.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “In Episode 51 Jamie was eating Lucky Charms. I was just wondering, what do Lucky Charms taste like?! Love the show; Ben is hot!”

What?! What!?

[Jamie and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: So, Jamie, what do Lucky Charms taste like?

Jamie: Hey Dierdre, Lucky Charms …

Ben: I’m pretty sure it’s Dierdre [pronounces Dee – dra] not Dierdre. [pronounces Ded – dree]

Jamie: No it’s not Dee-dra. It’s Dierdre! [pronounces Deer-dree]

Claire: Ben’s been watching too much Desperate Housewives.

Ben: How’s it spelled?

Andrew: D-e-i-r-d-r-e.

[Jamie laughs]

Claire: It’s…

Ben: It’s Dee-dra!

Jamie: Okay, fine. No, it’s Dr. Dre. That’s how you pronounce it.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: Okay, someone e-mail in. Is it Deirdre [pronounces Did-dree] or Deirdre? [pronounces Dee-dra]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Or if it’s Dr. Dre.

Andrew: So, Jamie, what do Lucky Charms – what do they taste like?

Jamie: They are absolutely awesome. They have a swagger of Irish gold combined with a hint of magic and all summed up to absolute perfection and combined to create a beautiful breakfast cereal that, not only starts you off for the day, but keeps you going for weeks and weeks and weeks.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Or as they say in the commercial …

Jamie: Very, very nice.

Andrew:[in Irish accent] “Magically delicious!”

Jamie: Yeah, no, they taste extremely nice. They’re my new favorite; if only I could buy them over here. So, now …

Ben: Actually, you can. You can buy groceries on Amazon now.

Jamie: Oh.

Ben: I’m sure they would ship you a box of Lucky Charms.

Jamie: No, but it’s fine. But, it’s fine. Just, every time single I go into the U.S. I’ll buy one box, come back, and then have one bowl every three weeks so they last me…

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Jamie: …until I can next go to the U.S.

Andrew: I thought you said they magically refill – the box is magically delicious.

Jamie: Well, they do, but I don’t know if that was just the box that you gave me or every single box, so I didn’t want to say anything.

[Claire laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Harry’s Eyes

Andrew: Oh! Oh, yeah, I paid a little extra for that box because I wanted to make sure it lasted for you. And now some more eye rebuttals. Nicole, 22, Michigan says:

“I have a theory about Harry’s eyes that also fits in with the fact that Jo Rowling said that there was foreshadowing in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie. In the movie when Remus Lupin is talking to Harry about his mother he says that ‘she could see the beauty in others, perhaps especially when they couldn’t see it themselves.’ I think that Harry might have inherited this ability to ‘see’ beauty along with his mother’s eyes. This could have many consequences in Book Seven depending on who has this inner beauty. Perhaps Snape, Pettigrew, or possibly even Voldemort.”

Jamie: Hmmm. So wait, what’s she saying? She’s saying that Harry can see good in people, is it? Or…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But Micah came up with one point about this – about the whole eye thing. Because I mean, I find it really, really difficult to find theories about why Harry, you know, has Lily’s eyes and how important they are. Apart from that theory which everyone loved about Harry going to her grave and plucking out her eyes, and then really having Lily’s eyes.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But no he says, Micah says that he thinks that at some point in the final battle that Harry will be in a compromising situation, extremely similar to Lily was. Snape will be there, for all you Snape/Lily fans, and his attention will be caught by Harry’s eyes and he will remember what happened to Lily and sacrifice himself in some way to save Harry, maybe. Write in if you think that that’s, you know, a viable theory or any comments about it. Thank you, Micah.

Andrew: Very interesting.

Ben: [impersonating Micah] That’s okay.

Andrew: We also got a few other e-mails saying black and gray eyes do exist. They’re all pretty much redundant of each other. But also this one comes from Elizabeth, 14, of Tulsa… Toosa… Tusa:

“In Episode 51, you were talking about how the fact that Harry has Lily’s eyes could be significant in Book Seven. Here’s the theory I have: in Book Five, Dumbledore said he thought he saw a shadow of Voldemort stir behind Harry’s eyes. So, in Book Seven, if Voldemort finds a way to get in Harry’s mind without killing himself, others could be able to tell.”


Jamie: I think Dumbledore was speaking figuratively when he – when he meant that. Though, you know?

Andrew: You think so?

Jamie: Well, yeah, like – like when Voldemort possessed Harry, Dumbledore could see the Voldemortness inside Harry, you know? So…

Andrew: Ah, yeah…

Ben: The Voldemortness.

Jamie: Yeah, the Voldemortness. That is a proper word. Check the dictionary, everyone. So, yeah.

Claire: Voldemortness. Very nice.

Jamie: Yeah. So but, I don’t know. Yeah, it could be that, you know, his eyes can show what kind of power Voldemort has on him at any one time, perhaps. It’s good.

Andrew: All right. Well, that does it for rebuttals.

Main Discussion: Defense Against The Dark Arts

Andrew: Now, moving on to our main discussion this week, which is the Defense Against the Dark Arts class at Hogwarts. There’s so many questions about it because just…

Jamie: There are.

Andrew: About the curse and who might step up in Book Seven to take the role, but we’re going to start off with a voicemail about the curse.

Cursed Position

[Audio]: Hi, this is Jessie from New Hampshire and I was just wondering about the Defense Against the Dark Arts people – teachers. Because Dumbledore had said that no teacher had lasted for longer than a year since he had been asked for the post. So, what happened to all those other teachers that had been there before Quirrell? Do you think that they all died? Do you think they just resigned or do you think that Voldemort had involvement with all of them? Because he wasn’t strong at that point, so – but I don’t know. I just wanted to hear your thoughts. I love the show! Thanks! Bye!

Andrew: It’s purely speculation, but, I mean we haven’t really ever heard what happened to the other Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers…

Jamie: No, we haven’t.

Andrew: …prior to Book One.

Jamie: You’d think though – you’d think though if you went for a job interview for a teacher and you said, “So, why is the job open?” and the headmaster said, “Well, it’s, you know, the last 50 teachers have either died, resigned, or gone mad,” you wouldn’t take the job. But, no.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: Everyone still takes the job. It’s weird.

Claire: Well, maybe that’s because…

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Claire: Maybe that’s because it’s such a coveted position at Hogwarts. That’s nothing to do with…

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true, that’s true.

Claire: You know?

Jamie: Yeah, that is very true.

Andrew: And Dumbledore could very well be convincing them somehow.

Claire: Everyone’s vying for it. So…

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Offering some sort of incentive.

Claire: Definitely.

Andrew: Anything else to say about that?

Ben: None here. My feet – my feet are so numb right now.

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: I don’t know what’s happening.

Jamie: My back hurts more.

Andrew: Are you still in your car?

Ben: Yeah, I’m still in the car in Nebraska.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Sleeping here for a week now.

Jamie: He slept there for an entire week.

[Claire laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Jamie: That – that really is commitment. I’m still hanging on to my raft. I’ve been here a week as well.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’m getting a bit wet now I must admit.

[Andrew still laughing]

Professor R. J. Lupin

Andrew: Well, with Lupin, in the third book, he had left to keep the students at Hogwarts safe because he turns into a werewolf and all that. But, if he had stayed, what could have happened the following year? Because it just seems like he didn’t really have to leave; because did Dumbledore ask him to leave or was it on his own? Was it his own decision?

Jamie: I think… I think he took the incentive though, you know, like he knew that people would, especially parents, would call in and say you know… They’d leave voicemails on the Hogwarts voicemail Skype name and say, and say, you know…

[Andrew, Ben and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: “We don’t want a werewolf teaching our children.” And he thought that the war is going to start soon and he was playing a big role by leaving Hogwarts and uniting Hogwarts, more than staying there and causing trouble. I think it was a sacrifice.

Claire: Do you not think he could have been a target by Death Eaters had he of stayed? That’s just me thinking, but…

Jamie: He turns into a shop that sells all manner of electrical items.

[Jamie, Andrew, and Claire laugh]

Claire: Shut up, Jamie. [laughs]

Andrew: It just seems like he would have been the most likely candidate to stay around for a second year.

Jamie: He would, yeah.

Andrew: And he didn’t. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like the curse really applies to him because he left on his own decision.

Jamie: He is the only one who left when he hadn’t done anything consciously wrong, if that makes sense.

Andrew: Right, right.

Jamie: Whereas you know, Lockhart obviously in the Chamber of Secrets, Quirrell did have Voldemort on the back of his head as Harry points out, so that was quite a big thing. You know, so… And Moody obviously wasn’t Moody. So, yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Gilderoy Lockhart

Andrew: Chamber of Secrets [clears throat]: Dumbledore hires Lockhart. Why would he hire Lockhart knowing full well – well, maybe not knowing full well – that this guy is out of his mind? Because Lockhart had played people for a while saying that he did all these things.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: Well, isn’t it just because it’s so hard to find someone to take that position? Isn’t that why?

Jamie: That… I think that could be it. But..

Ben: Because you have – you have to hire whoever you can get.

Jamie: He couldn’t have played Dumbledore, though. Dumbledore obviously knew.

Claire: No, no, no. I think the point with Lockhart was that he brought a kind of – he brought the exposure to Hogwarts that no other person at that point in time could have brought, you know, because he was so popular.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Claire: Surely.

Jamie: Yeah. But, no. Yeah.

Andrew: So you’re saying – you’re saying Dumbledore hired him because of how popular he was?

Claire: Yes, in a way. It could be.

Jamie: Yeah. Wait. It could be..

Ben: It’s the only reason we keep Jamie on the show.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It’s like – no, no, it’s like hiring Jon O’Stewart to be your new English teacher, you know?

[Andrew laughs]

Claire: Jon O’Stewart? How fitting.

Andrew: [laughs] It doesn’t start with O’Stewart.

Jamie: So, yeah. It’s just like – that would bring loads of publicity and stuff, so perhaps it is that. That is a very good point.

Professor Snape

Andrew: Who, now, what if Snape had received the position that he originally asked for? Didn’t we already talk about this recently? I’m trying to remember.

Jamie: I think we did. We asked why Dumbledore finally gave the position to him, didn’t we?

Andrew: Well, no, like prior to that. Why didn’t he receive the position earlier than Book Six?

Jamie: Ummm… Maybe Dumbledore didn’t completely trust- no, no! I know why! I know why! Because Dumbledore realized that every single Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher – yeah – they either left within a year, they died within a year, or something happened; and he needed to keep Snape close to him because he was working for him to spy on Voldemort.

Andrew: Oh, right.

Claire: Not even, Jamie.

Jamie: If he placed him in… Assuming that the job is actually cursed, you know, if he placed him into that job, then within a year he’d be gone or something. And then in the sixth book – oh my god, yeah! And then – I’m so excited now, I’m so excited! And then in the sixth book…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No, no, no, no, wait.

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: And then in the sixth book, because they had planned that Snape was going to kill Dumbledore, he put him into the job because it didn’t matter; because he was going to leave him and go over to Voldemort. Well, not go over to Voldemort, as it were, because they’d been planning it. So, that shows that Snape is a good person. Perhaps it’s that.

Claire: Hang on, hang on.

Ben: You are so good, Jamie. So good.

Jamie: It just hit me, it just hit me.

Who Will Be The DADA Professor in Book Seven?

Andrew: Shall we make some predictions? Book Seven: who will be the DADA teacher? Because I don’t – I don’t think we’ve even talked about this yet.

Claire: Moody. Mad-Eye Moody.

Andrew: The DADA. [pronounces it “dah-dah”]

Claire: Definitely, Mad-Eye Moody.

Andrew: Why, Claire?

Claire: Definitely. Because…

Andrew: Why?

Claire: …his role, I feel his role was – it wasn’t explored to the fullest. I mean, I think that…

Jamie: That is true.

Claire: …I don’t know, that JK has… She has – she has a motive for him. Yes, definitely.

Jamie: Mad-Eye O’Moody is coming for the role.

Claire: Mad-Eye O’Moody. [laughs]

Andrew: Some people think that an Order member will step up, but it might be someone other than Moody, such as Lupin or Tonks.

Jamie: What, you mean like putting somebody from the Order inside Hogwarts to know what’s going on?

Andrew: Right, yeah. Right, exactly.

Jamie: Right, yeah.

Andrew: For someone like Lupin or is McGonagall an Order member? Or is she just…

Jamie: She’s got to be.

Andrew: Wasn’t she just in and out, in Order of the Phoenix?

Jamie: Yeah, she was.

Claire: Guys, assess where we left Lupin in the last book. Where was Lupin at the end of the last book? Where was he? Was he not in the hospital?

Jamie: Yes, he was. He was in with Bill and then Tonks said..

Claire: With Charlie…

Jamie: No, no, Bill, Bill. Yes. And then – and then, Tonks says, “I love you, I don’t care if you’re a werewolf once a month. We just won’t do it then.”

[Andrew laughs]

Claire: If you actually think logically about who’s going to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Book Seven, then we need to think that it’s not going to be Hagrid. Of existing members, it’s not going to be Hagrid.

Jamie: No.

Claire: It’s not going to be Professor McGonagall because she’s going to be the head teacher of Hogwarts – most likely, most likely. It’s not going to be Kingsley Shackleboot – Shacklebolt, even, because he’s working with the Muggle Prime Minister. It’s not going to be Arthur Weasley because he’s been promoted to something I can’t remember right now. And, the….the…for me, the most likely candidate is definitely Mad-Eye Moody. And I think that Tonks will go to Transfiguration because of obvious reasons.

Jamie: Yeah, that sounds fair enough. That sounds fair enough.

Andrew: I like that. That’s an interesting way to put it. Who else, I’m looking at the list of…

Professor Potter

Jamie: Can I say, the question of – it’s been discussed for quite a long time – that whether Harry is going to become the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, but I just can’t see it, because…

Claire: Oh, no way! Oh, come on. Get a grip!

Jamie: You can’t, it’s…

Ben: That is the dumbest thing…

Jamie: Respect, please, Ben. Respect please.

Ben: …I have ever heard in my entire life.

Jamie: But, Ben…

Ben: [laughs] Sorry, sorry.

[Claire laughs]

Claire: Ben…

Jamie: We’ve only got one more book, so he can’t qualify out of school and then become the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, unless she writes it in an epilogue.

Andrew: Well, right.

Claire: If you think about it, Harry has so much to learn, himself, in the last book…

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. He can’t teach people.

Claire: …to be able to destroy all the Horcruxes and then get to Voldemort. And then, not even that, but he has actually to do this. So, how is he going to find the time to be Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and…

Jamie: Precisely.

Claire: …and then do this final quest kind of thing, you know? It’s just not possible.

Jamie: Exactly, exactly. He’ll be like, “Class dismissed, I’ve got to go and find a Horcrux.”

[Ben and Claire laugh]

Andrew: Right, but I think most people think he’s going to become Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher after.

Jamie: Well, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Claire: Possibly. Possibly.

Andrew: After all this mayhem is over. Because, of course he can’t do it during school. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: How about Dumbledore’s Army? Could he maintain Dumbledore’s Army and bring it back?

Jamie: Yeah. Perhaps.

Claire: I think so.

Jamie: But, it would be TLDA: The Late Dumbledore’s Army.

Andrew: Oooh…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Tear, tear, tear.

Claire: [laughs] That’s below the belt, Jamie. That is below the belt.

Andrew: Maybe he wouldn’t even run it. Maybe, like, Hermione or maybe not-so-much Ron would take it over.

Other Positions at Hogwarts

Andrew: Now, what about other roles? Claire already – Tonks seems like a good person for Transfiguration. How about Potions? Will Slughorn stay on? I think he’s good enough to be… I think he’s…

Claire: Definitely. Absolutely. Definitely. Yes.

Andrew: …loyal enough to Dumbledore to come back for another year. That wraps up our Defense Against the Dark Arts discussion, but, Jamie, I understand you have a theory for us now.

Theory: Foreshadowing The Lightening-Struck Tower

Jamie: I’m going to come up with a theory that was proposed by Micah. He’s on a role this week and this was…

Ben: You’re going to come up with a theory that was proposed by Micah?

Jamie: I was… Yeah, it’s going to take all my powers and concentration to read this straight out of a text file, so let me concentrate, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: He proposes that we knew in the first book, from very early on, that Snape was going to kill Dumbledore. Also in fact, not only that, but that Malfoy was going to try and kill him, he couldn’t, and then Snape was going to kill him. So, to find out how this is, turn to pg. 130 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, or page – one sec, let me find it – or pg, 97 of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, both paperbacks. It’s right at the end of the chapter, “The Sorting Hat”. I’ll read from it, and then explain it afterwards.

“Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell’s turban, which kept talking to him, telling him that he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn’t want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully,” and now, concentrate especially, “and there was Malfoy, laughing at his as he struggled with it – then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold – there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.

He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke the next day, he didn’t remember the dream at all.”

Now, we couldn’t find a link between the turban, but if you go back to “The Lightning Struck Tower” in Book Six, “there was Malfoy, laughing at him,” Dumbledore, “as he struggled with it” – the prospect of being killed, maybe – and, then Malfoy couldn’t do it, so he “turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold – there was a burst of green light,” Avada Kedavra, “and Harry woke,” as in got unfrozen, “sweating and shaking.” So, I thought that was really, really good, Micah. So, well done.

Andrew: That is a very good theory. He has a tendency to think up…

Jamie: Well, I…

Andrew: …brilliant things like this. Unless he just stole it.

Jamie: It’s the kind of thing that is linked, and obviously is right.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: But, it would’ve been impossible to predict from it that Dumbledore will, you know – this was the scene where Dumbledore died, if that makes sense. I think it’s very good, though.

Claire: This is a perfect example of the…

Ben: [inaudible]

Claire: This is a perfect example of the – sorry, honey – of the red herrings that JK gives us early on, and, that as readers, we kind of assess everything that we can, but sometimes the simplest of things that we read and we don’t pick up on are the things that give us the most insight into the future occurrences of the books.

Jamie: Yeah, definitely, yeah.

Claire: You know?

Jamie: Exactly. So, can I say to everyone, go and analyze Harry’s dreams. Every…

[Claire laughs]

Jamie: Go through the books and see what you can…

Claire: Every single one. Every single one.

Jamie: See if you can link them to other things in Book Six. Yeah, every single dream. If there’s one stone left unturned, we are – we are not going to be happy.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I want theories, I want discussion, I want book proposals, I want – I want the world.

Claire: [laughs] You want the world.

Jamie: [sings] I want it all, I want it all.

Andrew: [laughs] This is our new segment on MuggleCast called “Word by Word.”

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Voicemails – Year 7?

Andrew: Voicemails this week – let’s listen to the first one.

[Audio]: Hey, MuggleCast guys, it’s Amanda from Des Moines, Iowa. I was just listening to my iPod, listening to MuggleCast, while walking my dogs and I just thought all the books of US versions say either “Book 1, Year 1 at Hogwarts,” or “Book 2, Year 2 at Hogwarts.” I was wondering maybe if you guys thought that the seventh book would be somewhere else other than Hogwarts and that’s why they had to mention it on the other ones. Just love to hear what you guys thought. Love your show! Thanks!

Andrew: It’s interesting, but I think they only do it because – well, they wouldn’t know so far ahead of time. Jo wouldn’t be like…

Claire: She might.

Andrew: …”Oh, I’ll put ‘at Hogwarts’ so that in Book Seven we can put ‘at the cave’,” or something.

Ben: [laughs] Yeah.

Claire: Andrew, I definitely – I disagree with that. I think she might. Seriously. Somebody like Jo, I think she definitely might. Maybe that’s just me? Yeah, definitely.

Andrew: I don’t even know where it says this. What am I missing? I don’t see where it says this [laughs] in the books. Ummm… yeah, I don’t know where it says that on the books, but if you want to clarify that, feel free to e-mail us.

Ben: Yeah, I don’t think – even if it did say that somewhere, I don’t think that Jo would change it for the last book.

Andrew: Interesting perspective, though, for walking your dogs.

Voicemails – Crabbe and Goyle

[Audio:] Hi guys, my name is Chris, I’m calling from the San Francisco bay area. I really enjoy your show, and I had a topic for discussion that I hope you guys pick up. I was wondering if, in fact, Hogwarts reopens for Year 7, what do you think will become of Crabbe and Goyle? At the end of Half Blood Prince, Harry notes that he looks over and sees them at the Slytherin table and they seem very lost without Malfoy. Do you think they’ll continue with their education? And, if so, do you think they’re not going to be so nasty towards Harry, or other people, now that Malfoy is no longer there? Thank you, I love your show, and have a good day!

Jamie: They’re going to Harvard. They’ve just applied and they’ve got in. [laughs]

[Claire laughs]

Andrew: I think they will definitely be less – they won’t tease Harry as much. They won’t be in his way as much. As for leaving school…

Claire: If you look at it right, there’s never been as much rivalry in Hogwarts, possibly since the times of James and Lily, as there has since Harry came to school and there’s been this whole thing between him and Draco. So…[laughs] I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to say. Oh, god! No, help me out. Seriously, help me out. [laughs] I’m falling here.

Jamie: I don’t know…

Claire: I think that…

Jamie: I can’t really go into your brain.

Claire: [laughs] I’ve completely lost it as well. No, I think that – I think that Draco is definitely not going to go back for Year 7. How can he possibly, possibly, go back for Year 7?

Jamie: Yeah, no…

Claire: How can he? Seriously.

Jamie: Exactly. He can’t. He can’t.

Claire: With the whole – you know, Albus Dumbledore was a – he was adored by the whole school. How can Draco possibly go back after all that’s happened? Snape’s out of the picture. He’s ran away to wherever he is.

Jamie: Yeah.

Claire: And the future is, basically, that Harry – neither Harry nor Draco are at Hogwarts. That’s just my opinion, but Book Seven, that’s – they do certainly not play a part in Hogwarts for me.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s probably true.

Andrew: All right, next voicemail.

Voicemail – Harry’s Eyes

[Audio:] Hi MuggleCasters, this is Evie from Ohio. In regards to your Episode 51 discussion, when it comes to Harry’s eyes, do you think that Jo is likely to play on the old saying, “The eyes are the windows to the soul,” and do you think she already has? Hope this message finds you well. Bye, bye.

Jamie: But it is interesting that, you know, because it’s like the two wands connecting together and each person seeing into the wand of the other. Couldn’t it be like – if somebody looks into Harry’s eyes, they can see into his soul? Or something like that. I don’t know.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s an interesting quote, though.

Claire: Yeah, again, there’s kind of this great symbolism with that, so…

Andrew: And that’s really a huge part of this story.

Voicemail – Killing Extras

[Audio:] Yeah, hi, this is Angela from Virginia. I had a comment about Episode 50. You made a comment that said that Jo didn’t kill of extras. Well, the comment that I have to that is: does she not consider Cedric an extra because she kills him off in Book Four? And my husband and I were listening to ya’ll’s Episode 50, and you said something about Harry that was inappropriate. Well, it wasn’t that, it was just what you said about Harry being an unpleasant person – a term that you used. And we wondered why that term was used. We love the show anyway. Keep up the good work! Bye, bye!

Jamie: I think when Jo…

Ben: I don’t know what she’s referring to.

Jamie: I can’t remember. We… I mean we probably did, but…

Andrew: Harry said – we said Harry was an unpleasant person?

Jamie: Did we?

Andrew: To be honest, I wish I could remember too.

Jamie: Yeah. What she said about Jo not killing extras, I think it means that… I think Jo, what she means is, every single death that she puts in is significant to the series as a whole. As in she doesn’t kill people for the sake of killing people. You know? Everything is important. Rather than that she kills secondary characters.

Claire: That’s definitely viable. I mean if you look at it, she didn’t kill Dumbledore for no reason, did she?

Jamie: No.

Claire: Seriously, she didn’t kill Dumbledore for no reason. If Dumbledore went through to the final book then Harry would have been invincible almost. So…

Andrew: Okay, the quote from Jo was that “she doesn’t go for the extras.” So, I don’t think it means every death has to be important. But, could Cedric be an exception to this? Or could…

Jamie: It is important though…

Ben: No, people are asking about – people are asking about Book Seven and the deaths that relate to Book Seven. And she’s saying that she’s not going to kill off the minor characters. She’s going to go to those that are closest to the main character.

Jamie: She isn’t doing it for the sake of it though.

Claire: Jo has gotten to a point that she thinks if the Harry Potter fans are so inept, that they are going to look at every single situation and every single angle, and think “Why couldn’t this have happened? Why couldn’t this have happened?” So, she needs to kind of kill off everybody she thinks is kind of viable candidate for kind of – for a reason. “Why couldn’t they have been there? Why couldn’t this have happened?” You know?

Jamie: I was going to say that it isn’t that she’s going for the main characters, but she’s killing the people which are necessary to kill in order for the book to progress. And that each death isn’t a death for the sake of a death, it’s a death because…

Ben: I disagree. I think she’s saying that she’s going to kill those…

Jamie: Well, Ben, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. Ben… Ben…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Ben, do you get sick of being wrong?

Claire: Ben, you are wrong. You are completely wrong. [laughs]

Ben: I’m never wrong. That’s the problem.

Jamie: Or are you used to it by now? Are you used to it by now?

Ben: JK Rowling said that she does not target the extras. That doesn’t mean that she’s going to kill somebody that we don’t realize plays a pivotal role in the series. It means she is going to kill people we know are main characters and we know are really going to tug at our heartstrings when they die. That’s what I think it means.

Claire: I think that’s definitely true. I do think that’s definitely true, Ben. I think you’ve got reason for saying that, but I think it’s gotten to the point where JK is looking at every single viewpoint, every single angle, that she realizes how perceptive the Potter fans are, and she just realizes that, you know, every possible explanation has to be covered because we’re just that good. Basically, we are just that good.

Voicemail – Outcome of the Quidditch World Cup

[Audio]: Hi, MuggleCast! This is Deepa from Edison, New Jersey. I was wondering, how do you think Fred and George Weasley knew the outcome of the Quidditch World Cup? Thanks! Bye!

Ben: I’m going to say time travel.

Andrew: You think Fred and George can do time travel?

Ben: Well…

Jamie: Maybe.

Ben: Yeah, there has to be some way.

Jamie: They are very clever people. But, it could be that, yeah. Or it could be…

Claire: Yeah.

Jamie: …they guessed somewhat right. But, it doesn’t seem like they were right because if you – if you go back to Goblet of Fire

Ben: It’s way too specific for them to have guessed.

Jamie: No, but, if you go back to Goblet of Fire, just after the World Cup has finished and Bagman is seeing Fred and George, they approach him with huge smiles on their faces like they knew that is was going to happen anyway. And they just, you know, were coming to collect their gold.

Andrew: Interesting question, but it seems like Fred and George would have… Harry is their trusted – their financial…

Jamie: Yeah, backer. Backer.

Andrew: …backer now. Wouldn’t they have told Harry they could do time travel?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: That doesn’t seem like something they would keep secret from him of all people.

Ben: No, no. They – not necessarily.

Jamie: Financial o’backer.

Ben: Yeah, financial o’backer. [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: No, they wouldn’t – Harry wasn’t backing them financially, when they originally made the bet. So…

Jamie: Yeah, I guess so, yeah. That’s true.

Ben: They wouldn’t feel like they owed it to Harry, to tell him…

Andrew: Oh, I see what you mean.

Ben: So, yeah. And, of course, there are going to be things they keep secret to themselves. There was never any agreement or any stipulations to Harry giving them the money. He pretty much just said…

Jamie: No, that’s true. Yeah, yeah.

Ben: “Hey, take the money.”

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Right, right. Okay, fair enough.

Voicemail – Jo on Snape Being Evil

Audio: Hey, I’m Crystal from Arlington Heights, Illinois, and I’m calling because on Episode 50 you were talking about JK Rowling saying that their opinion was correct on Sam and whatever his name was. They said, “In our opinion everything follows from it,” being ‘What if Snape is evil or good?’ That’s what she meant by, “In your opinion” – that their opinion was right. So, I love you guys! Bye!

Ben: I love you too!

Jamie: I love you too, as well!

Andrew: Yay, an explanation.

Ben: Right, and this whole notion that Jo made all these slip-ups at the live reading have pretty much gone to pot, because…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Not really.

Ben: [exasperated] Yes, they have. You’re wrong.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: Jo did not slip-up at all, because I said she didn’t.

Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week

Andrew: Okay. All right, now moving onto our second, but last, Spartz Quote of the Week. But first, Julia, 15, from Canada wrote:

Just in case you were wondering, the quote from “Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week” is from a song called, “I Put The Metro In Metronome,” by a band called Cute Is What We Aim For. You should check them out, they’re awesome!

Now it is time for Dylan’s Inspirational Quote of the Week. The inspirational quote of the week this week is, “Scotty doesn’t know.” I might have butchered that a bit, but I’m pretty sure that was it. “Scotty doesn’t know.”

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew’s Huh?! E-mail of the Week

Andrew: And, based on the laughter that I just got from that, it is time to retire Dylan Spartz’s Inspirational Quote of the Week in favor of a new segment: Andrew’s “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: It comes from Ryan, 15, of California. He writes:

“Here’s an awesome idea thought of while eating some Chapstick:”


“You should ask the listeners if they have a ritual or tradition while listening to MuggleCast. Personally, I like to eat a six-inch tuna with everything on it, with Sun Chips and a Pepsi!”

So, apparently Ryan, 15, of California eats Sun Chips and a six-inch tuna every time he listens to the show. And he thought of this while eating Chapstick, which is lip balm.

Jamie: But Ben – I mean Andrew, you do realize now that you’ve started this thing, people are going to send these wacky e-mails just to be on Andrew’s “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

Andrew: “Huh?!” “Huh?!”

Jamie: Yes, that’s the thing. I refuse to do that, so I’m just going to say Andrew’s “Huh” E-mail of the Week.

Andrew: [laughs] Well, I’m going to talk to Emerson, and he’s going to teach me how to…

Jamie: Ah. Excellent, excellent.

Andrew: …spot the right from wrong, because he’s an experienced Wall of Shamer.

Jamie: He is.

Andrew: Actually, I have a few of them because we get so many e-mails, but some of them are absurd. So, they’re going to get worse than that, I promise you.

Jamie: Awesome.

Andrew: So, that’s my “Huh?!” E-mail of the Week.

[Jamie laughs]

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Chicken Soup. Jamie, care to read it?

Jamie: Yes. This comes from Rebecca, 17, from Pennsauken in New Jersey. Wow, we seem to have a…

Andrew: Representing.

Jamie: …quite a few New Jerseyans this week.

Ben: A lot of New Jersey people.

Jamie: Yeah, wow! That’s…ummm… Hey, Ben…

Ben: No coincidence or anything.

Jamie: Isn’t…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I don’t pick these people based on their locations.

Ben: Yeah, whatever. You’re like, [imitates Andrew] “Oh, Jersey! Oh Jersey!”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay.

“Hey, MuggleCasters! I’m huge fan of the show. I’ve been listening to it since Episode 1. I love it so much that I bought a tape adapter for my car, considering I only have a cassette player in there, so I could listen to MuggleCast on the road with my iPod.”

That is severe dedication for you.

“Well, it so happens the only reason my parents gave me a car, was so I could chauffeur my three younger sisters around. I happen to hate driving them places, because they are so ungrateful about it and with the gas inflation…”

Yep! It must suck, paying three dollars a gallon over there. I can’t imagine what it must be like paying six and a half!

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, why don’t you tell people, because that’s…

Jamie: It’s… It’s like the gas…

Andrew: …that blows my mind!

Jamie: Okay.

Andrew: That blows my mind.

Jamie: We pay now, currently, a pound a liter, which translates to six and a half dollars a gallon.

Andrew: That is crazy.

Jamie: Back to the voice mails, so – sorry, to the thing.

“Well, it so happens that my sisters hate Harry Potter with a severe passion. I’m the only one in my family that loves it. So, my new plan was that whenever they asked me to take them somewhere, I would always put on MuggleCast in the car. They would always complain and moan, saying, ‘Don’t put on the weird people that talk about Harry Potter!'”

[laughs] Yeah, we are weird.

“But, my plan worked, because my sisters hated MuggleCast so much, they refused to let me drive them anywhere. So, MuggleCast, thank you for saving my gas money…”

Ah, if you want to save more gas money, you should have gone to Eric’s reading…

[Ben and Jamie laugh]

Ben: Eric’s reading!

Jamie: …in Vegas!

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: “…and sanity. Keep up the amazing work. Rebecca.”

Thank you very much, Rebecca. We’re glad that we caused your sisters to hate us so much they won’t even get in the car with you. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t understand why people would hate us.

Jamie: I do.

Andrew: It makes me sad. [laughs]

Jamie: I hate us. I hate us.

Andrew: Anyway. Oh. Well, I guess I do, too, come to think of it.

Jamie: Awww.

Andrew: I envy us.

Dumbledore-Norris Lines

Andrew: Okay. Jamie, you got a number…another Dumbledore…

Jamie: I do, I do! [laughs] I’ve just got to open my e-mail – a sec. But, I’ll say the first one. I have a couple this week. These are from Lindsay, age 16, from Cape Town, South Africa.

“Dumbledore makes onions cry.”

[laughs] Which I thought was brilliant.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: “When Dumbledore is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get behind the horizon.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dumbledore pajamas.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Let’s find some more. Oh, okay. Last one, last one.

“Dumbledore uses a night light, not because Dumbledore is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Dumbledore.”

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Okay! Last one! Last one, last one! [laughs]

“When the bogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Dumbledore.”

Which I thought was so funny!

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Oh, my gosh.

Jamie: Ahhh, I love those.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I love those.

Andrew: [laughs] Me, too! I can’t believe you’ve never seen Chuck Norris, though, and you still find them so funny!

Jamie: Who?

Andrew: Yeah, you.

Jamie: I have seen Chuck Norris!

Andrew: In the show?

Jamie: What? No, I’ve seen [laughs] Walker, Texas Ranger.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: No, no, Texas, Walker Ranger, or Ranger, Texas Walker, or something – or whatever it’s called, you know?

Andrew: [laughs] Walker, Texas Ranger, I think.

Jamie: That’s the one. That is the one.

Claire’s Scottish Joke

Andrew: I think that does rap up our show this week. P.O. Box, Ben?

Ben: P.O. Box 223, Moundridge, Kansas, 67107.

Andrew: You can also e-mail us at mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or call us: 1-218-20-MAGIC. In the United Kingdom: 02081 440677. And Australia: 0280035668. You can also Skype the name, “MuggleCast,” to leave a voicemail, or if you have any other suggestions, comments, complaints, concerns – whatever you want – just e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Claire: Do I not get to do a Scottish joke?

Jamie: Do you have one?

Claire: I have a Scottish joke, if you want me to do it.

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Go on, then.

Claire: There was once a student at an English university, and his name was Donald MacDonald. He was from the Isle of Skye, and he was living in the Halls of Residence, in his first year at university. After he’d been there a month, his mother came to visit…

[Ben laughs]

Claire: Shut up, Ben! Nose out.

[returns to joke] …carrying reinforcements of his oatmeal. “And how do you find English students, Donald?” she asked. “Mother,” he replied, “They’re such terribly noisy people. The one at that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and he won’t stop. The one at the other side screams, and screams, and screams away into the night.” “Oh, Donald! How do you ever manage to put up with these awfully – awful, noisy English people?”

[comments] I can’t speak! [laughs]

[continues with the joke] “Mother, I do nothing,” he said. “I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly and play my bagpipes.”

[Everyone laughs loudly]

Jamie: Oh, that’s probably one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard in my life.

Andrew: Oh, wow.

Jamie: That is so good. Ah, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. That’s really good. I like that one.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That does it for Episode…

Jamie: No, no, no, no, no! Wait. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait!

Andrew: What, what, what, what, what, what?

Jamie: Okay, I would just like to do two things. I’d like to congratulate the ancient Romans for finally getting e-mail, because I have got an e-mail from a certain Julius Caesar…

Andrew: Oooh!

Jamie: …age, really old; location, secret passage under the Hog’s Head which leads directly to Rome; subject, my papyrus. Okay, he says:

“My dear fellow Jamie, you are so very welcome for the papyrus I sent you. I am delighted to hear that Mr. Schoen sent it to you. And thank you for your sympathy about being stabbed, but it’s quite all right. You see, no one knew, but I made a Horcrux, and am now disguised as a wizard by the name of Aberforth Dumbledore. My regards, Julius.”

Andrew: Well, wow! What an honor, Jamie. I used to think that our life would be completed when JK Rowling e-mailed, but…

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, but Julius Caesar.

Andrew: But that, yeah. Forget it. On that note [laughs], that does wrap up Episode 52. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I am Jamie O’Lawrence.

Claire: And I am Claire O’Connor.

Andrew: Claire, thank you for joining us this week.

Claire: Thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure.

Andrew: You can find Claire at, and she’s the fantastic host of RupertCast, and also RedCast. To all the listeners, we apologize for a shorter than normal show this week, but we were all pretty busy this past week, and had a few scheduling conflicts, so we’ll be back with our usual length next week. Goodnight, everyone!

Jamie: Bye, everyone!

Claire: Bye!


[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast, this is [inaudible]. My name is [inaudible], I live in Jamaica, look it up. And this is [inaudible]. I love the show that much. I turned 15 yesterday and found that I’m coming up to New York in a couple of days. I’m really excited and I’m definitely buying a MuggleCast t-shirt while I’m there. I love the show, keep it up. Bye!

[Audio]: Hey guys! This is Emily and I live in the bay area in California. I just wanted to say that I love your show. It’s pretty much good when I have to be in the car for an hour, and I need something to listen to other than my sister whining. So, good times! Thanks a lot, guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCast. This is Tom from England. I just wanted to say that I love the show. It’s great, and I’m really peachy about this UK line, because I can’t call internationally; it’s too expensive. But, keep up the good work, and we hope to hear more of Jamie’s British Jokes of the Day soon. See you later! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters. This is Allison, calling from South Ohio, and I just wanted to congratulate you all for a wonderful 50th episode. I hope to hear at least 50 more. I also wanted to mention that MuggleCast made it into my local newspaper, the Plain Dealer, but it only mentioned Andrew and Ben, though, not Jamie or Laura or the rest of you guys, but I just thought you’d like to know that you’re famous around the Cleveland area. Again, love the show, and I hope you guys make at least another 50. Thanks! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey guys, it’s Erica from Australia here, and I just thought I’d call my own voicemail line to say that I love your show, and I hope you guys will come down to Melbourne one day for a live show, because I miss Vegas and New York City heat, and we all love you down here. So, see you soon. No pressure or anything. Fire hazards rock. Love you guys! Bye!

[Audio]: Hey MuggleCasters, this is Amanda from Tampa. I wanted to say how much I love you guys, and Jamie has the best singing voice I’ve ever heard. You guys are awesome. Keep up the good work! Bye!


Jamie: Ben, you can do one thing for us, okay? Can you just – if this is the best thing…

Ben: [Impersonating Warrick Davis] Warwick Davis! [laughs]

Jamie: No, no. Well, that too. Two things.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Thank you, that was very kind. Do you think you can please give us a Butterbeer?

Andrew: Later.

Ben: Maybe.

Andrew: Come on. You have to. There’s got to be something you saw at Lumos that must have [censored] you off.

Ben: Yeah, but I can’t talk about that. That would be – that would not relate to Harry Potter.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh loudly]

Jamie: Yeah. And it would be NC-17, as well.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Something related to the convention [laughs], I’m talking about.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jean, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Rhiannon, Roni, Shannon and Shelly