Transcript #54

MuggleCast 54 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because quantum theory has too much to theorize – thank you Alice, 28, of Ohio – this is MuggleCast Episode 55 [he means 54] for September 3rd, 2006.

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Hello, Potter pickles! [laughs] Welcome back to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: …the show. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull. [at the same time as Jamie]

Laura: And I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

Andrew: And this is the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, umm…

Jamie: And some other stuff as well.

Andrew: Plumpy pickles, and much more. [laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Plumpy?

Andrew: But before we go anywhere else, a tasty pickle by the name of Micah Tannenbaum is over at the MuggleCast news center with the latest Harry Potter news stories.

Jamie: What’s up, tasty Micah?


Micah: Daniel Radcliffe recently announced that he will commence filming for a new ITV drama, My Boy Jack, in the summer of 2007. The show is based on a true story of Rudyard Kipling and his son Jack, who was killed in World War I.

At the Emmy Awards, David Yates-directed film The Girl in the Café won the “Made for TV Movie” award. The movie’s producers announced that David couldn’t attend the ceremony due to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix filming commitments.

Three movie release dates that I mentioned last week have all now been confirmed by Warner Bros. You can always keep up with the latest Order of the Phoenix release dates in our movies section.

Those three release dates included Belgium on July 11th, Denmark on July13th, and Poland on July 20th.

Additionally, Warner Brothers confirmed to us that the fifth Harry Potter movie will be released next year in the Czech and Slovak Republic on July 19th, and in Sweden on July 13th.

We also posted a few new set pictures from the film over on, MuggleNet’s official Rupert fansite, has posted their exclusive interview with the actor who plays Ron Weasley in the Potter films. In it, he talks with site owners Claire and Kelle about everything from his favorite movies to Book Seven theories, and says there will be no Quidditch in Order of the Phoenix.

The Ron Weasley actor will make an appearance on radio talk show hostEdith Bowman’s program this Thursday, September 7 between 1 and 4 PM GMT. Listeners can submit questions, which will be posed to him on air.

Emma Watson has been nominated for a Relly award in the category of Best Junior Achiever by Live with Regis and Kelly. Don’t forget to vote for her, and the winners will be announced on September 22nd.

Finally, as we head out to the 2006 Podcast Awards, the next live Leaky Mug, will be held on September 28th, at Borders in Westwood, located at 1360 Westwood Blvd. in Los Angeles, California. It will start sharply at 7 PM Pacific Time, and we hope to see you there.

That’s all the news for this September 3rd, 2006, edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you Micah.

Jamie’s Contest

Jamie: Eric, complete this sentence for me, okay: “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.” Come on, Eric, you should know this.

Eric: Oh, something about vivacious…

Jamie: Not bad! “This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished; a vital voice once venerated, now vilified.”

Eric: Jamie?

Ben: That’s not even funny.

Jamie: “However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation now stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin…” Actually, the only reason I’m doing this, Ben, is because I wanted to announce a competition, and normally I have waited until once we got into the show. I was so excited about this, I thought, “I have to do this now!” Okay. We want a MuggleCast version of the speech from V for Vendetta. So – and you win a free t-shirt, a very nice t-shirt. And they’re especially limited edition now, because we’re going to have new designs coming out, so please get them while you can.

Eric: Jamie?

Jamie: Yes, Eric?

Eric: What is it with these run-on sentences? You must like grammar. I mean, yes – last episode, you wanted them to do DADA, a sentence of entirely DADA.

Jamie: No, no! I just love sentences.

Eric: Don’t get me wrong, V for Vendetta is a wonderful movie.

Jamie: It is good. You’re right.

Eric: I loved it. It’s excellent. It’s like the – that was brilliant, by the way, too. But I don’t know. How – what does this have to do with a t-shirt?

Jamie: It doesn’t have anything to do with the t-shirt. It’s just a – we want a MuggleCast version of it, like, for example, Muggles. I don’t know. “Majestically moving montage of Muggle…”

Eric: Of mundane!

Jamie: I don’t know – of mundane, yeah. Mundane Marry Potter news.

Ben: Marry Potter news?

Jamie: Yeah, I don’t know. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Something all – it has to be something that actually makes sense, but yeah. Send them in to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Eric: I must say, you have the most compelling challenges ever. I really like them.

Jamie: Well, that’s extremely kind, Eric. Thank you.

Andrew: What about last week’s contest?

Ben: The California one? Or – no. Crap.

Jamie: What last week’s contest?

Andrew: Well, no, that too. But the DADA.

Jamie: Oh yeah! No see, I didn’t think at the time, because that was – I saw something on TV about one word which you could say five times, no, no, sort of like eight times and if you insert proper grammar, it makes a sentence, and I was somehow under the impression that you could do this with DADA. But apparently you can’t, so I got, like, four hundred emails of just DADADA 900 times, and I wouldn’t have called them sentences.

Andrew: Did you see the one that I forwarded you?

Jamie: No, I don’t think so. Why, was it an actual sentence?

Andrew: Yeah. I think so.

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: I didn’t really read it. [laughs]

Jamie: Do you still have it?

Andrew: I forwarded it to you!

Jamie: Ohhh!

Andrew: Check your G-mail.

Jamie: Check my G-mail, okay then. I’ll check my G-mail. But, yeah. Please send your new versions of the speech from V – mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com.

Andrew: Sounds good. I also wanted to start a new segment this week. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, based on, like, the physical…

Eric: You and your new segments.

Jamie: Geography?

[Phone rings in background]

Andrew: But, I want to just – what is that?

Ben: A telephone.

Eric: Don’t worry about it. I’ll mute myself.

Laura: It’s someone’s phone.

Andrew: Oh. I got excited. I thought it was Jamie’s phone [laughs] making a reappearance.

Jamie: Oh no, I know. It hasn’t.

Andrew: After fifty shows. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s very shy. It’s extremely shy.

[Andrew still laughing]

Jamie: I’ve been trying to convince it to come out at some point.

Jamie’s Back Update

Andrew: [laughs] Jamie, we want to start a new segment this week called “Jamie’s Back Update.”

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: Because people are concerned about your back and I thought maybe we could just…

Ben: Actually, he was faking it all along.

Jamie: Yeah, I was, yeah. I’m sorry. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: No, it is getting a lot, lot better and I’m hoping to be able to move soon. No, no, no.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: It is getting a lot, lot better. I’ve just been doing absolutely nothing and it’s getting better and hopefully in like a few days it’s going to be completely back to normal. But, I’m not going to lift any bins filled of water – I’m sorry, trash cans filled with water…

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: …for a while, I must admit. Thank you very much for everyone’s e-mails saying “please get better.” I am, thank you very much. And actually I just found…

Andrew: There’s some announce…

Jamie: I’m sorry, can I say…

Andrew: Yeah.

DADA Contest Winner

Jamie: I just found that e-mail about the DADA DA.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: It is a very long email with about one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve… [mumbles numbers] About twenty-four DADA. So that prize goes to Jacqueline, 15, from Staten Island…

Andrew: So, did you want to read it?

Jamie: Well, it’s quite long, it is…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Well, I can do a quick one. Okay, one, two, three, go.

[Jamie recites DADA winning e-mail really fast]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Is that for real?

Eric: He is really good at that.

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail really fast]

Eric: He’s still going?

[Jamie continues reciting DADA winning e-mail]

Jamie: The end! Total DA’s thirty-five.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Thank you.

Andrew: What just happened? That was completely unedited, folks.

Ben: Yeah, that’s…

Andrew: Good job, Jamie. Wow.

Jamie: Thank you.

Ben: Actually, I’m sure I could beat that.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Ben, you couldn’t beat it if you’d taken classes in reading long DADA sentences, okay.

Ben: No, no. In debate we – there’s speed debating.

Jamie: Oh, is there?

Ben: Where we talk about that fast.


Andrew: We have some [laughs] announcements this week. Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirt. The new designs are on the way – we should roll them out within the next couple weeks and by couple, I possibly mean few.

Jamie: Eighteen.

Andrew: Yeah. Don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley and of course Leaky Mug…

Ben: Wait a second, wait a second.

Andrew: What?

Ben: More on Podcast Alley – please, please vote for us on Podcast Alley. We’re tired of losing to PotterCast. There, I said it. The “P” word.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Vote for us on Podcast Alley, put us over the top for the month. We haven’t won in a while, so help us out.

Andrew: Ummm, the only “P” word we are allowed to say on this show is “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Andrew: No, no…

Ben: MuggleCast 54 – Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, plumb-pickers pickles…

Andrew: Pickles.

Eric: Plumb…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Plumpy pickles.

Andrew: It’s a fun word. Pickles. Everyone say, “pickles.”

Ben: Pickles.

Jamie: Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles.

Laura: Pickles.

Eric: [in a high-pitched voice] Pickles.

Andrew: Pickles. [Laughs]

Eric: Tommy Pickles?

Andrew: [still laughing] Okay – California. Leaky Mug live in California September 28, 7:00 PM at the Borders in Westwood.

Jamie: Be there.

Andrew: In Las Vegas. [laughs] No, not Las Vegas, Los Angeles.

Ben: Sorry, we’re still in Vegas.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: We are.

Ben: I left my soul in Vegas; my heart in New York City.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Are you going to do the lyrics thing, Ben?

Ben: The lyrics – about the lyrics. To be honest with you, I’ve been really forgetful lately. I have a bunch of them in my inbox. I’ll sort them out and when Andrew posts the show, we’ll post the winner.

Jamie: Can I summarize what Ben’s saying here, please?

Eric: Since – yeah. Go ahead.

Jamie: I think what he’s saying is that he opens up his G-mail and it says “410 unread messages.” They’re all in black, so you know, he hasn’t read them and he thinks, “I’m going to bed.”

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m going to bed, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, that’s pretty much… Yeah.

Jamie: That’s about it, though.

PO Box Update

Andrew: And Ben, you got a P.O. Box update for us this week?

Ben: This is the best P.O. Box update of all P.O. Box updates.

Jamie: Yeah. It’s the only one you’ve done.

Ben: I know.

Jamie: Sorry. [laughs]

Ben: Firstly – this is going to be weekly from now on or, bi-weekly. Depends on how much stuff we get sent. So, then you should send something in. The first thing I’d like to mention is our featured PO Box Item of the Week. Someone by the name of Sarah Fyack from New Jersey – Andrew’s native state – sent in a drawing of the MuggleCasters with the featured slogan, “I don’t need friends, I’ve got MuggleCast.”

Andrew: Awww.

Jamie: Awww.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww.

Ben: Yeah, it is very – it is a really awesome picture, and to be quite honest, Jamie and I both look so hot, it’s ridiculous.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: It’s like she put a hot filter on us.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, yeah. So, I’ll post this – I’ll take a picture of it or scan it or something and we’ll put it in the Show Notes.

Andrew: Yay.

Ben: With ten banner ads around it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, I’m just kidding. The other items that were sent in during this past week: Angeline Kokami and Holly Gart from Canada sent in custom bookmarks for each of the MuggleCasters. Hopefully I’ll send those out soon.

Eric: Awww.

Laura: Awww. Thanks you guys!

Ben: Emily from Washington – Redmond actually, which is where Microsoft was founded, anyways – sent in a wonderful account of a dream in which I made an appearance.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: And Emily, I agree, we are meant for each other. Chelsea from Pennsylvania sent in a Subway gift card. Mary, my fellow Kansan, sent five one-dollar bills for my birthday. Hannah, my number-one fangirl sent in sequins in a card, which I opened and scattered all over my laptop…

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: …and it took me about twenty minutes getting it out of the keys. Thanks Hannah. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: And, of course, other letters from Amelia from Canada; Katie from Maine; Lauren from California, who’s very excited about the live podcast; Tracy from Oklahoma, who’s enjoying the heat; Kevin from California; Liz Jah from California for an extremely generous Subway gift card. So, thanks a ton for that. Finally, Jacklyn from Staten Island, the one who won the DADA thing a minute ago – she thought she’d be funny and send Christmas cards already.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But, but, something that’s worth pointing out – there’s only Christmas cards here for Laura, Andrew, Kevin, and Eric. So, looks like Jamie, Micah and myself got the shaft.

Laura, Jamie, and



Eric: Just cut Eric’s in half, and we’ll…

Ben: [laughs] Yeah, and we’ll split it. Also, thanks to Kyle from New York for the birthday package that he sent me, and to Elizabeth for sending Laura a scarf. I’ll get that out to her as soon as possible.

Laura: Awww! Thank you, Elizabeth!

Ben: So, send us anything, absolutely everything, anything you have. So, something you send may end up as our featured item of the week. So, there’s your incentive. Send something…

Andrew: [laughs] Featured item of the week.

Jamie: We’re the new eBay. We’re the new eBay. Instead of sticking stuff on eBay, just send it to us.

Andrew: We’re selling Laura’s scarf. Bidding starts at five bucks. [laughs]

Laura: No, I want my scarf. That’s mine!

Andrew: [laughs] Just kidding.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. Pickles.

Eric: Pickles.

Jamie: Pikles.

Andrew: Pickles. Pickles. [in a nerdy voice] Pickles. [laughs]

Ben: So, that wraps up…

Andrew [laughs]: We’re wasting everyone’s time.

Ben: Remember guys – hey remember, everybody – that is:

PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas67107

So, there you have it. There you have it.

Andrew: Pickles. Send your pickles to the PO Box. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: If anyone sends pickles, I swear I will flip out, because I hate pickles. Pickles are so gross. I’d rather…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: You just asked for it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, Ben, that’s like saying “Oh, no. Please don’t send me $1,000,000. I really don’t want it, Ben”

Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth

Andrew: Listener Rebuttals this week. [laughs] Finally. Erica, 15 from California. She writes:

“Hi, MuggleCasters. I’m just writing in because Eric asked whether Aberforth was acting dumb or if he really was…”

Jamie: Dumb. [laughs]

Andrew: Once again, people aren’t proof-reading.

“I’d like to point out that in Goblet of Fire, pg. 442, US edition, Dumbledore said that when Aberforth got arrested for charming a goat, and it was all in the papers, ‘He held his head high and went about his business as usual. Of course, I’m not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery.'”

Laura: It doesn’t mean he’s stupid.

Eric: He’s not trying to say that he’s dumb.

Eric: No, you just need to…

Eric: He’s stupid, just not dumb.

Eric: Take a look at Episode 53, go about 22:10 in, and I clearly take into account the fact that Dumbledore didn’t know if he could read or not.

Andrew: Okay.

Eric: Okay.

Listener Rebuttal – Aberforth’s Reading

Jamie: And this one comes from Issel, 16, from Miami in Florida, with the subject “Aberforth Can’t Read.” Ah.

“Just thought I’d point out that Albus told us that he wasn’t sure his brother could read. I find it odd, in fact, I find a bit of deja vu going on here, I must admit. I find it odd that the brother of the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, can’t read. What does that say about their upbringing? Was Albus normally from a poor, destitute, ill, and illiterate family? Or perhaps Aberforth couldn’t be persuaded to read, and then again, why wouldn’t Albus know if his brother could read or not? Well, maybe it was only a joke. Only Jo really knows.”

In fact, that’s absolutely right. I think we should close down the show and close down everything, ’cause she’s the only one who really knows everything.

Eric: I think it’s suddenly clear to me. I – guys, I know the key to the series or the key to Aberforth is that he’s too busy with goats to care much to read. He never learned to read. He was always, you know…

Ben: I am slappin’ my knee over here.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Jamie, she solved it for us, and she used great words like destitute and…

Jamie: Yeah, they’re nice words.

Eric: Yes.

Laura: Big words, Eric.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: Big words. [laughs]

Listener Rebuttal – Gas Prices

Andrew: Cindy, from New Jersey, writes:

“Episode 53 was my first time listening to your program, and I enjoyed it very much.”

Thank you, Cindy.

“FYI, the person from Australia told you that they pay the equivalent of $0.90 per liter of gasoline. Before this bums you out too much, consider the fact that a gallon of gas is approximately four liters. 4 times $0.90 equals $3.60. Not a bargain at all.”

Good point, Cindy.

Laura: True that.

Andrew: A few people e-mailed this in. There is cheap gas out there in the world.

Jamie: I don’t want to complain, but I feel a complaint coming on at this “$3.60, not a bargain at all.”

Andrew: Yeah, but…

Jamie: It’s the bargain of the century.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’d buy to hoard it, just so I didn’t – just because it was so cheap. If I went to Australia, I’d pack my suitcases with gas, man.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And leave all my clothes there.

Andrew: I have one thing to say.

Jamie: Yeah?

Andrew: Pickle.

Jamie: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. Pickle.

Ben: Stop saying that! That’s annoying! Geez!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Actually, guys, Melissa challenged Andrew and I on Skype the other night to come up with something that the fandom is going to keep saying – like their Dawlish thing. So, let’s make ours “pickle.”

Andrew: Yeah. Pickle. Everyone say “pickle.”

Jamie: No, no, no, no.

Andrew: Shirts with pickles on them.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew [still laughing]: Printed with pickles.

Jamie: Two pickles.

Andrew: You know, that’s the beauty of podcasting. I can keep saying “pickle” and no one can throw me off.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Everyone say it. Just waste everyone’s time.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle.

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: Pickle. [laughs]

Jamie: When you’re you listening to this just think, that we’re actually all sitting here, just saying “pickle.”

[Eric and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: And laugh because of that, okay? Please.

Main Discussion – The Two-Way Mirror

Andrew: Our main discussion this week: The Two-Way Mirror. Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: We’re doing a slightly different sort of re-vamp of the main discussion, where we’re going to have an intro and then main questions. Then, further questions stemming from our main questions, and then a “What if?” section as well.

So, here’s our intro: Before Harry went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays in Order of the Phoenix, Sirius handed him a two-way mirror, telling him to use it whenever he needed to chat. At the time, Harry promised himself he would never use it, as it could potentially draw Sirius out of Grimmauld Place and put him in danger. We don’t hear anything else of this mirror until after Sirius’ death. And we never see it again until the end of the book. After Sirius dies, Harry discovers it at the bottom of his trunk. It bears the following inscription:

“This is a two way mirror. I’ve got the other one of the pair. If you need to speak to me just say my name into it. You’ll appear in my mirror, and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

After Harry reads this, he smashes the mirror in frustration.

Andrew: Oooo.

Ben: Oooo.

Laura: Awww. [laughs]

Two-Way Mirror: A Common Good?

Jamie: Okay, main questions. Number one, was the two-way mirror an invention of Sirius and James, or is it commercially available? As in, can you go on eBay and type in “two-way mirror” and buy one? Any thoughts?

Eric: I did.

Ben: Well of course not, Jamie.

Jamie: What? You can’t go on eBay?

Laura: Sounds like something they could get at Zonko’s.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Mmmm.

Jamie: Or on eBay dot wizard.

Ben: I doubt it was their own invention, but I don’t know. They were very clever though because they invented the Marauder’s Map. So…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: It wouldn’t be beyond them, but I don’t know.

Jamie: But he says that, “James and I used to use them.” I don’t know if he’s talking about the two mirrors as a pair or just the entire thing, you know?

Eric: Oh, a group of them.

Jamie: Because I’d like to think its his invention, but I don’t know.

Andrew: I was just going say if they were commercially available, wouldn’t we have seen them before already?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: That’s true.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s what doesn’t make sense.

Jamie: That’s true.

Ben: Couldn’t Ron or Harry use them? Or students at Hogwarts could probably use them to cheat on tests and stuff too.

Eric: Oooo.

Andrew: Well, you’d have to hold the mirror in front of you.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, but you could just pretend you were checking your hair or something.

Ben: How big is it? I thought it was really small. I didn’t think it was…

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughing] It’s a four by six.

Laura: Yeah. I always thought it was just a little hand mirror.

Jamie: [laughing] How are we supposed to know?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’d imagine it being three and a half inches, four, yeah.

Andrew: It’s the size of the one in Snow White that Snow White talks to.

Jamie: Yeah.

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Eric: You just carry it around in your backpack or something.

Jamie: And it has a huge sort of gilded frame around the edges as well.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Yeah. It’s not commercially available.

Andrew: I would guess that…

Eric: Sirius Black now appearing in IMAX.

Jamie: Yeah. No, did you notice it’s just like the 21st Century equivalent of the web cam?

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. I was just going to say, is this built by Skype Inc.?

The Same Two Mirrors?

Jamie: Yeah, I think it must be. Question number two, are these two the same mirrors that Sirius and James used? This kind of follows on from the first question. You know, these could be the same two because these are the only two that exist, or you know are these just the same two because Sirius has kept them?

Laura: I think Sirius kept them.

Ben: Well no. They’re the same two because of how he words it. He says, “James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.”

Jamie: No, but he could mean that James and I used to use the mirrors, you know, this type of mirror? It’s like James…

Ben: I know, but in the previous sentence he just referenced a specific mirror that he gave Harry.

Jamie: No, I don’t know. You could see it either way. That “them”…

Ben: What difference does it make?

Jamie: I don’t know! Its just… Hey, Ben! This is a podcast where we over analyze everything. You can’t say, “What difference does it make?”

Eric: Well no. I think it is the same pair because of the way it’s worded.

Jamie: I agree.

Eric: It says, “James and I used to use them.” I think this wouldn’t be something Sirius wouldn’t have gone out and got another pair of just to do this with Harry.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Eric: First of all, he can’t leave Grimmauld Place, you know. So, I think it makes more sense that he’s had these ever since, you know, he and James were at school – that kind of thing. I don’t know what they’re doing at his house or that’s a question like where’s his motor bike at?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: I read a theory once that Harry’s room in Order of the Phoenix, when the Advanced Guard comes and Tonks is in his room she looks at the mirror in his bedroom with – and either fixes her nose or checks her hair or something, and I’ve seen it theorized that that was actually her sending a symbol to somebody with a similar kind of mirror, maybe. Do you guys think that that’s likely that Harry’s own bedroom cupboard might have a mirror on it that would be two-way if there were more than one of these?

Jamie: I don’t know.

Laura: That would be creepy. [laughs]

Ben: That would be awesome. It’s like a spy or something.

Secure Communication?

Jamie: Yeah. When Harry’s lying in bed people could see him through the mirror. Okay, question number three, and this I thought was one of the most important questions. Is this method of communication completely secure?

Andrew: Well, I would think if Sirius gave it to him than he knew there must be some level of security to them.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree. I don’t think he’d give him anything that could be compromised at all and it doesn’t seem like it goes through anything else. If you think of Floo Powder, you know, it goes through the central sort of Floo Powder, you know, Department thing and they can monitor. But, I just don’t… This doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that you can monitor.

Eric: You know what it reminds me most of is the mirror in Beauty and the Beast where you have to say the name and it shows you that person, but obviously this is a little bit more restricted.

Jamie: Oooo, yeah.

Eric: That one I imagine it being the same size, around.

Jamie: That kind of thing, yeah.

Andrew: So, are they just two mirrors that Sirius and James put enchantments on?

Jamie: Well, yeah. It could be, yeah. That could be it as well.

Eric: It’s so interesting with pairs. There’s the pair of two way mirrors, the pair of pair of vanishing cabinets, and Dumbledore seemed to have this look of dawning comprehension when he asked Draco on the Lightning-Struck Tower if the vanishing cabinets were a pair?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: And he’s like, “Yeah. Ah.” That’s interesting to know what pairs – what significance they have and stuff. Like would, for instance, in order for you to enchant two-way mirrors would they have to be of the same glass? Would you actually have to, you know, or something like that – buy two mirrors and enchant them or what? Like phoenix feathered pairs. I don’t know. Anyway, do you guys have my Tonks question? I cut out then.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: No.

Jamie: No, we did hear it. It was the one about using Harry’s mirror.

Eric: Yeah, to send a signal or something.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Eric: Is that really likely?

Jamie: It could be, but you’d have to be able to use any mirror then in that case, because I doubt that Harry’s mirror would automatically have a charm on it.

Andrew: Mhm.

Eric: Oh.

Jamie: Okay, question number four. Actually, we’ll skip question number four. It was going to be do other people use them, but it was kind of covered in one and two.

Okay, No. 5 – this isn’t really a question, it’s just something I noticed: There seems to be quite a
lot of importance in the series as a whole on mirrors. So, you’ve got –
obviously, the Mirror of Erised, you got the Two-Way Mirror we’ve been
talking about, The Foe-Glass that Moody has, which obviously is important
when Dumbledore and McGonagall burst into the room. You’ve got the mirror in
The Burrow that gives grooming advice and the mirror in The Leaky Cauldron
that commented on Harry’s hair, and said, you know, “You’re fighting a
losing battle, there kid,” or whatever it was. So, I mean, obviously, we’re
going to see the Mirror of Erised again. Well no, actually – or are we? No,
we aren’t – or are we? I can’t remember.

Eric: I don’t think so.

Laura: I don’t think we’ve ever heard anything about that.

Jamie: Oh. Well, that completely…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Guys, are we due up to see – I’m not going to choose a subject, ’cause I
like it a lot – but are we due up to see the Ford Anglia again? Didn’t Jo

Laura: Yes.

Jamie: We are, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I think that’s what I was thinking
of. Not the Mirror of Erised.

Ben: Harry’s going to run over Voldemort and back right over him.

Eric: Yeah.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: [still laughing]: Wasn’t there a mirror that said – Harry said
“I’m not going to die today,” or something, and the mirror’s like “That’s
the spirit, dear.”

Jamie: “That’s the spirit, dear.” Wasn’t the that one in The Leaky Cauldron
as well?

Eric: I’m not sure. There was one in The Burrow.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah it did. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, it was the one in The Leaky Cauldron.

Eric: I think that was the one in The Burrow.

Ben: Don’t you know how like, in the Wizarding world things are special, and
how the pictures move? So, maybe it’s the same thing with all mirrors – can
talk to you.

Jamie: Oh yeah, it could be.

Eric: I don’t know, though. It’s not like the – speaking of Beauty and
the Beast
again – the wardrobe in that one. That’s what I imagine when I
think of you know, “Tuck your shirt in, scruffy,” or whatever. I imagine the
wardrobe woman was like, you know? But, these – I’m not quite sure. That’d
be a little freaky if all your mirrors could talk to you.

Jamie: It would be.

Eric: Like they were watching you or something.

Jamie: But, it does show, though, that they’ve been used extensively. I
mean, the first book, obviously it’s pivotal. But the Two-Way Mirror could
have been pivotal as well.

Eric: Yeah, some of them have voices. So, that’s really weird.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Like, I mean we could ask the same question about the mirror in
The Burrow that gives the grooming advice.

Jamie: Oh yeah, definitely.

Andrew: Is it commercially available, or is it enchanted like a lot of the stuff in the Weasley household is by Mrs. Weasley?

Harry’s Fault Sirius Died?

Jamie: Okay, Question number six: Assuming using the Mirror would have saved
Sirius’ life, is it Harry’s fault he died?

Eric: Oh, Harry guilts himself enough. No, it’s not Harry’s fault he died.

Laura: No.

Ben: No.

Eric: But, that’s not to say it doesn’t absolutely suck that Harry was a
little bit you know, on the noble side and he didn’t use it to check on
Sirius when he had the vision.

Jamie: But he could’ve warned him.

Laura: Yeah, but Sirius was also on the noble side. He was told to stay at
Grimmauld Place, and didn’t.

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: No, he didn’t, but after Harry you know, saw him lying in the
Department of Mysteries, Voldemort you know, standing over him –

Eric: He should have checked.

Jamie: He could have checked with him easily.

Laura: Yeah, but he never opened the package, so he didn’t know that the
Mirror was in there.

Jamie: Are you sure?

Laura: Yeah, he didn’t open it until after Sirius died.

Jamie: Oh, oh, right, okay. Of course, okay.

Andrew: Yeah, he totally smashed it.

Eric: Didn’t he go into… I haven’t gotten there yet in the book I’m reading, but didn’t he ask Kreacher where Sirius was or something?

Laura: Yeah, Kreacher lied. [laughs]

Eric: Kreacher lied. Ah, I hate Kreacher.

Jamie: Didn’t his mum tell him that you don’t lie?

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Very, very bad.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: They’re pure-blood. I don’t think they would have said anything, so…

Jamie: Maybe not. Well, it’s very disappointing, I must admit.

Eric: [laughs] So, it’s bad up-bringing, then. Are you on Hermione’s
side with Kreacher, that he’s really a nice chap.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: Yeah. He’s just misunderstood. He’s just misunderstood. You know?

Laura: Deranged.

Jamie: But, okay, it isn’t Harry’s fault he died, but do you think this
could be significant now in the series? That it’s just one more thing that
Harry blames himself for, it’s one more thing he has to revenge.

Laura: Well, of course.

Jamie: It’s one more thing that could empower him.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: It’s just something that could have been different, you know? It’s
just, I don’t know – I’d like to find out if he’s going to Reparo the
Mirror and use it again.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Kind of like the mysterious – I mean, it wouldn’t be entirely out of
hand considering The Marauder’s Map just suddenly appeared in Book Five
after it was supposed to be in Imposter Moody’s office. You know, stuff like

Laura: Well, didn’t Jo say that we would see the Mirror again?

Eric: The Two-Way Mirror?

Jamie: What, the Two-Way Mirror?

Ben: Yeah, she did. She did.

Eric: She did? Oh, wow.

Jamie: All right, well, that leads very nicely into Question 10 – skipping a
couple of questions…

Andrew: Well, wait.

Jamie: What?

Andrew: If we saw the Two-Way – if we’re seeing it again, doesn’t that mean
there’s more than one since Harry smashed his?

Jamie: No, no.

Andrew: Unless it’s repaired.

Eric: Well, Reparo.

Jamie: Harry could. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Or he’ll just run into where it’s briefly mentioned. [laughs]
“Harry saw the Mirror.” [still laughing]

Jamie: Harry could step on the shards accidentally, and there we are. We’d see
it again.

Contacting Sirius

Jamie: No, but it leads into: Will it contact Sirius from beyond the

Eric: Depends, if he had his mirror with him. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah. In the book…

[Jamie, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Jamie: That’s awesome I didn’t even consider that.

Laura: In Order of the Phoenix, didn’t it say something along the
lines of “Harry said it wouldn’t work because Sirius didn’t have his mirror
with him when he fell through the veil”?

Jamie: Yeah, he’s like “Excuse me, Bellatrix, do you think you could you
just wait one second?”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: “I have to go and get my mirror.”

Ben: Hold on, hold on though. Wouldn’t – I was under the impression that these
mirrors were tiny and they could fit into your pocket. I didn’t think they
were ones that you hold in your hand. When I thought of a Two-Way Mirror…

Eric: Well, you have to put it in your pocket from your hand, Ben.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: They’re like, hand-held, but they’re not huge is what I think we’re
saying. Like they are pocket – they are pocket mirrors.

Jamie: I think they probably are. But, so yeah. I think we’ve got to
conclude there that he [laughs] could contact Sirius from beyond the
grave…if he’s got his mirror with him.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, that’s the question. Why did Sirius – do you guys remember this?

Laura: That’s kind of gross.

Eric: Did he just walk out? Was he just tired of waiting? Like, how did he
get to the Department of Mysteries?

Laura: He came with the rest of the Order.

Eric: Oh, he came with the rest. Because they… Yeah. Okay. So…

Jamie: He got a bus.

Eric: Right.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, the Knight Bus, though, you know Stan Shunpike is mentioned in every book since Book Three?

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah?

Eric: That’s just one of those other weird things.

Andrew: That’s not every book.

Eric: It is every book.

Laura: Every book since Book Three.

Andrew: Since Book Three.

Eric: Since Book Three. It’s, you know…

Andrew: So what?

Eric: Well, that’s just one of those…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: It’s like Aberforth – somebody sent in a rebuttal to me saying that Aberforth was hinted at since Book Four, and I think, well, Stan Shunpike is the same way, and these things are leading somewhere, obviously.

Jamie: Perhaps.

Andrew: Yes.

Breaking of the Mirror Symbolic?

Jamie: Yeah. Okay, question number eight, now. I think we’re going backwards. Is the breaking of the mirror symbolic?

Eric: Yes, because seven years bad luck…

Ben: Seven years of bad luck…

Laura: … Bad luck [laughs]

Eric: It’s the seven years bad luck, and it’s the seven years of Harry Potter.

Jamie: Seven years of bad luck? It’s a bit late isn’t it? Him breaking it in Book Sox.

Laura: [laughs] That’s true.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Should’ve broken it in Book Once. But, yeah, because it was kind of – I can’t remember exactly, because I haven’t read it for a while, but didn’t he break it and Jo wrote a sort of purging of emotion there, that he sort of, he broke it and then that was it. And then, you know? I don’t know.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know how to say it. Like a kind of, “Harry threw the mirror, it broke into a thousand pieces, and he stood there staring into space, thinking, ‘What am I going to do with my life?’… that.

Andrew: Does anyone know where in the book it is? Because I have the book.

Laura: It’s in…

Jamie: The end, presumably.

Ben: Order of the Phoenix.

Laura: Yeah, it’s…

Andrew: No, I know that.

Laura: It’s in…

[Ben laughs]

Laura: …the very last chapter, I think.

Jamie: It’s before Sirius dies. He breaks the mirror because Sirius has died, before he dies. [mutters] Andrew, just go before it, quickly.

Laura: [laughs] What?

Andrew: No I…

Eric: Hang on.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] I love being stupid.

Andrew: Wait, it’s in the last… Oh.

Laura: Yeah, it’s right before he goes and finds Luna, and she’s saying that all these people stole her stuff.

Eric: “He looked around to make sure there was nobody else there. The dormitory was quite empty. He looked back to the mirror, raised it in front of his face, with trembling hands and said, loudly and clearly, ‘Sirius.’ His breath misted the surface of the glass. He held the mirror even closer, excitement flooding through him, but the eyes blinking back at him through the fog were definitely his own. He wiped the mirror clean again, said till every syllable rang clearly through the room, ‘Sirius Black.’ Nothing happened. The frustrated face looking back out of the mirror was still definitely his own. ‘Sirius didn’t have his mirror on him when he went through that archway,’ said a small voice in Harry’s head. ‘That’s why it’s not working.'”

Eric: Well he doesn’t know that for sure, but…

Ben: Well, what Harry’s going to do, is he’s going to go to the veil and just throw…

Laura: Just throw in the mirror…

Eric: Throw in the mirror.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Mirror. Turn this on, loser. You forgot this.

Jamie: No, no – he calls…

Eric: He says, Sirius, you forgot this. You forgot your mirror.

Jamie: [laughs] He calls Sirius Black and it goes, “I’m sorry, the person you are calling is dead.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: [imitates telephone’s unrecognized number tone] “The person you are calling is beyond the veil right now.”

Jamie: “The person you are calling is dead.”

Andrew: It goes on to say, “Disappointment was burning in his throat. He got up and began throwing his things pell…” Pell-mell? Never heard of that.

Laura: Pell-mell. [laughs]

Andrew: “…into the trunk, on top of the broken mirror.”

Eric: “Then an idea struck him. A better idea than the mirror.”

Andrew: [laughs] Is this popcorn reading?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: [laughs] Yes, it is popcorn reading. I’m glad – it’s good use of the term, too. You understand it. That’s good. At least if you’re going to make fun of it.

Andrew: Yeah, I know. I did it when I was in, like, fifth grade.

Eric: Okay, good. More importantly…

Jamie: That’s the end of our main questions.

Andrew: [sighs] So…

Eric: Hurdle across to – hang on. Wait!

Andrew: So, really, Harry is just assuming that it’s…

Jamie: That, er…

Andrew: …that he doesn’t have the mirror with him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: So, potentially, he could still have the mirror with him.

Jamie: He could do. That’s if he is still alive, of course. It’d be quite hard to work it if he’s dead.

Eric: “He just hurled the mirror back into the trunk, where it shattered. He had been…” Wait! “He had been convinced for a whole shining minute that he was going to see Sirius, talk to him again.” Isn’t this like being convinced for a whole couple of minutes that he is going to live with Sirius?

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s a good…

Ben: It’s almost like when he was convinced for a couple minutes that he saw his dad.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s actually true.

Jamie: It’s all these moments of…

Eric: All these moments of false happiness.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: That one can only just have, you know?

Jamie: Pickle.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Pickle.

What If…Harry Had Used The Two-Way Mirror

Jamie: So, I think we have covered the further questions in the main questions, really. So, should we go on to “What if?” Okay. What would have happened if Harry had used the two-way mirror and spoken to Sirius? Would Sirius still be alive? And would the prophecy have been smashed? And would all of Dumbledore’s stuff have been chucked about and [laughs] – and, smashed, or what?

Eric: [laughs] I think – it’s a question, because I think he would have gotten a direct line to Sirius through the mirror. He wouldn’t have had to – he wouldn’t have believed Kreacher that he was gone, and that kind of stuff. So, obviously they wouldn’t have that confrontation, but you struggle to think that in times of – in situations would Harry have really thought to use the mirror? But…

Jamie: Well, exactly. Yeah.

Eric: Once as he thought to search for Kreacher, when he went through the fireplace, or whatever, for that, so it only makes sense that he would’ve thought of the mirror, if he knew what it was, and probably used it. So, I’m inclined to say he would have found Sirius would be all right. But then that’s the other question: can really – so much happened that night, it was just like. Eventually I think they would have had to wind up at the Department of Mysteries, the question is: would Sirius be dead?

Jamie: No. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true, too. Considering he didn’t take it with him.

Jamie: It’s just like a cell phone. It’s just like a cell phone. It rings and you take it out, but instead of putting it to your ear you just stare into it.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It’s like Skype video.

Jamie: Yeah, it is.

Eric: No, just staring at it would do the trick.

The Guilt

Jamie: Yeah, it would. Okay, “What if” number two: Will Harry’s guilt over not using it impact events in Book Seven? Already talked about that.

Andrew: He has guilt over a lot of things.

Jamie: Laura you think it will, right?

Eric: I think all of his emotions will just work in Book Seven. It’s… You know?

Jamie: Laura, you had a good point about this before. That it isn’t his fault that Sirius died, but it’s going to…

Laura: Well, yeah. It’s going to add to his motivation to succeed…

Eric: Yeah, just as long as no one’s saying…

Laura: …to avenge Sirius.

Eric: As long as no one’s saying, “Give yourself to the dark side”, I’ll be okay reading Book Seven.

Laura: What?

Repairing The Mirror To Contact Sirius

Andrew: So, let’s draw some conclusions here. Could Harry possibly repair his mirror in order to recontact Sirius?

Jamie: Yes.

Eric: Yes.

Andrew: Because JK Rowling has made it clear that… Okay.

Laura: Sure.

Ben: …things can be repaired…

Jamie: It’s just like a thousand piece puzzle…

Andrew: It could appear in Book Seven again…

Eric: God, when does that – oh, wait! That’s another thing: the Ford Anglia. That’s why Harry has to go back to Hogwarts, because that thing is still in the forest, and we need to see it again.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Ben: Okay, whatever.

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, go on Andrew, do you want to move onto dating?

MuggleCast Dating Service

Andrew: [laughs] Sure, let’s move on now to the MuggleCast Dating Service. You know…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …it has been a pretty surprising success, and we’re trying to get a couple of people together on dates, and [in weird, deep voice] I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: But I’ll tell you right now it’s going to be a whole lot of dating.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: But… So we’ll have another update on the dating service next week, because we’re trying to get some cute little relationships worked out.

Discussing Chapter-by-Chapter

This week we are going to try a brand new segment that we didn’t even talk about next week – er, last week. And, by the way, hate to do it to everyone but Chapter-by-Chapter is getting pushed back again. Probably until next week. But, Eric, you’re going to New Zealand when?

Eric: Next Sunday. Eleven days.

Andrew: So…

Eric: Yeah, I was thinking about that. How’s the first week in October for everybody?

Jamie: Sounds fine.

Laura: Sounds good to me.

Eric: But…

Andrew: [in high pitched voice] Good. Yay, pickle!

Eric: But, but, but, but you guys have got to agree that it’s going to have a structure. I’m going to be doing this outline, we’re all going to agree on it, and we’re all going to participate. Is that correct?

Jamie: As long as we don’t – as long as it doesn’t take half an hour, yeah. Because it…

Eric: Okay.

Jamie: I think it is very good when it doesn’t drag out. When it drags out it gets old very quickly. So I think we…

Eric: Well, yeah.

Andrew: That’s why it’s got to get structured.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: So as I said, each of these has a different feel to it. Each of them will need a different outline that suits the book.

Jamie: Okay, fair enough.

Debate: Should Hogwarts Stay Open?

Andrew: Okay, so we are going to do a brand new segment this week, which we’ve been actually thinking about for a while. We don’t even have a title for this new segment this week, so we’re just going to call it Debate. Ben, why don’t you explain this new segment?

Ben: Well a long, long time ago I said…

Jamie: In a galaxy far, far away.

Eric: Far away.

Ben: …Far, far away. Everyone knows me as the debate guy, I’m on my high school’s debate team, kind of won State last year, you know?

Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben: So I thought, “Let’s have a Harry Potter debate.” Here is how it works. Each week we’re going to be debating a resolution and those of you who participate in high school debate will know what I’m talking about, but anyways, this week, for example, is going to be…

Andrew: [laughs] Anyone who doesn’t is screwed.

[Jamie and Eric laugh]

Ben: …Hogwarts. Just listen, just listen. This week is going to be “Hogwarts should be open for Harry’s seventh year.” Okay? There will be an affirmative team, which affirms resolution, which argues, saying that Hogwarts should be open. And on that side, this week, is going to be Jamie and myself. And then there will be the negative team which says Hogwarts shouldn’t be open, which is Eric and Laura. And something that I need to remind everybody of – everyone that is arguing, Andrew who is going to be our judge, and the people listening to the show: it is not an argument over whether or not Hogwarts will be open, it’s an argument whether or not Hogwarts should be open, which definitely opens it up to a lot of interpretation.

And so here is the format: the affirmative team, Jamie and myself, gets two minutes to present our case uninterrupted. The negative team will get two minutes to do the same. Following that there will be five to ten minutes of open discussion, where each side will get to ask each other questions and respond openly to each other’s arguments. Then at the end each side, starting with the affirmative, will get one minute to tell you why you should vote for them. Andrew, who is going to be our judge, will decide who he thinks should win the round, and this will count for 25 percent of the vote. The other 75 percent of the vote will be based off the listeners, with a poll on mugglecast dot com. So, is everybody ready?

Laura: Sort of.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: Yay!

Ben: Sort of? This is intense.

Jamie: You go first, Benjamin, because you’ve…

Eric: We’re kind of… [laughs]

Jamie: …dusted before and we haven’t dusted.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Andrew, Andrew are you timing?

Andrew: Yeah, let me get up a clock. Okay, ready, set, go!

Ben: Okay. The first reason that they should keep Hogwarts open is because of safety. Because Hogwarts is this big safe haven where everyone can meet up, and if we have all these people and all the children in one place, particularly the protection of minors, we’ll be able to keep them safe from the Death Eaters, particularly if we have the Aurors stationed around.

The second main reason that we should keep Hogwarts open, is because by closing Hogwarts it is essentially admitting defeat. It’s letting the bad guys win. So, it’s quite clear that we should keep Hogwarts open for those two reasons. Specifically ,the safety, and because it would be admitting defeat. Like in the war on terrorism, if we were all to go and become hermits and hide in our houses, it just wouldn’t make sense because it would be like saying the terrorists win. And so, the people at Hogwarts, the Board of Governors, should not let the Death Eaters win. Now, go Jamie!

Jamie: Also it should be kept open because education will always remain important. However many wars there have been, there will still be children, there will still be children who will become adults. Everyone needs to be educated. You cannot – the war is important, it’s going on now, we have to win. However, Hogwarts has survived a thousand years, and it can survive a thousand more. And children still need to be educated all the time, so it has to remain open for that reason.

Ben: How long was that?

Eric: You guys have forty seconds left.

Andrew: A minute.

Jamie: Forty seconds left?

Ben: Forty seconds left? Oh, lets keep talking then.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: They have to be fools to close Hogwarts, just think about it.

Andrew: Thirty.

Ben: We have to be able to keep Hogwarts open because it’s a safe haven for everybody. Just think about it; why would you close down this educational facility…

Jamie: It’s a stronghold.

Ben: …when the next generation is going to be…

Jamie: Ben, Ben, it’s a stronghold, isn’t it?

Ben: Yeah. Especially ,during times of war. Parents…

Andrew: Ten.

Ben: … don’t have time to home school their students, their kids, so they’ll have to send them to Hogwarts, and it makes the most sense. Hogwarts needs to stay open…

Andrew: Three.

Ben: …and it should stay open.

Andrew: Two.

Jamie: Amen, brother.

Andrew: One. Okay.

Eric: That ended nicely.

Andrew: Argument from the…

Laura: Oh, hang on two seconds.

Andrew: …what was it called again? Negative side.

Laura: My only thing is that mine comes across as saying that it won’t be – I mean, I’m going to try to make it make as much sense as humanly possible. But, whatever.

Andrew: When you’re ready.

Laura: At the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, readers discover that they will not be seeing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry again – at least not through Harry’s eyes. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that Hogwarts will be seen as a learning institution, at all in the final book of the series. Despite Professor Sprout’s unabashed optimism that if even one student wanted to learn, the school should remain open, it is not possible for Hogwarts to continue providing a formal education as it has been. The leading cause of this is the ongoing war outside the school’s walls. It must be remembered that war does not just affect people personally; businesses fail and economies struggle. Ollivander won’t be the first or last shop owner to disappear from Diagon Alley, so it’s not as if students can just stroll down the streets to the usual locations in order to buy books and supplies. Now that the wizarding world at large is taking Voldemort’s return seriously, parents won’t be looking forward to sending their children back to school, particularly after it was infiltrated by Death Eaters.

During times of war, people tiptoe. They don’t make large financial decisions, and education in a boarding school setting is going to take a backseat until Voldemort is rid of. That’s not to say that the Ministry won’t provide some sort of home study program in order to supplement students. A struggling economy does not lend itself to allow a small number of students to populate a large school such as Hogwarts. Besides, several of the Hogwarts teachers are Order members, and especially after Dumbledore’s death, they are needed now more than ever to continue the fight against Voldemort. Most people will be torn between two decisions: wanting to remain safe, or wanting to do their part to help in the war. It will be a very small number of students who wish to remain inside the school walls, while battles rage on outside of them. So, while it’s nice to daydream about the little school that could, Hogwarts should not facilitate an educational system during the course of the seventh Harry Potter novel because it can’t. [chokes] Thank you. [laughs] I just choked.

Eric: Oh my god.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: That was…

Eric: I just, okay, I have fifteen seconds to say, Laura. That was absolutely brilliant. Any doubts I had that our side might actually do good have been completely vanquished, and that is just amazing. Thank you. Three seconds to go. You saved my butt. Thank you so much. Winning team!

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Laura, I’m going to grill you harder than a well-done steak in a…

[Laura and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Now, it’s time for the open discussion.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Go ahead.

Ben: Okay, I’ll start this off. Okay, Laura, you bring up the point that it’s not possible for Hogwarts to provide education, and that there’s an ongoing war outside of Hogwarts walls, and then you go on to mention that businesses and economies fail during times of war. However, isn’t it important to provide education for the students who are going to Hogwarts, now, to prevent future businesses and economies from failing?

Eric: Well, who said it takes intelligence to run business?

Laura: Yeah, exactly. And the thing is, while…

Ben: No, but it’s the same thing… It’s…

Laura: …this is…

Ben: It’s the same thing with our generation. If you don’t get your education now, you’re not going to be able to become a productive member of society.

Eric: That’s what the people say who…

Ben: You’re less likely to.

Laura: That’s not true. That’s absolutely…

Ben: You are definitely…

Laura: …not true.

Ben: Okay, look at the trends in society. Those who are more educated have higher salaries and are much more likely to become productive members of society. Don’t even tell me for one second that if these kids stay at home and don’t get their education, that they’re going to help out in some way.

Laura: But that’s not true. They can get their education at home. They absolutely can get their education at home.

Jamie: Aren’t we missing the vital point that, World War I, school stayed open. World War II, school stayed open. Even in world wars, you can’t lose sight of the fact that it’s a generational conflict. It isn’t… Until nuclear stuff comes out, and I don’t think Voldemort’s going to drop an H bomb on Hogwarts, you know? Until we’ve got mutually assured destruction in the wizarding world, there’s still going to be a generation after. There still is going to be… You still have to educate the masses. You can’t just stop providing welfare for this. That’s completely ignoring the fact that Hogwarts is the safest place in the wizarding world for things. It would be like immorally abandoning the children.

Eric: Is it that Dumbledore’s dead?

Laura: Is it anymore, though? Dumbledore’s dead.

Ben: No, but that doesn’t matter. Okay, what you have to weigh is, where are the students going to be safer?

Laura: It does matter…

Ben: No, listen. Where are the students going to be safer? At Hogwarts, where they can be under the protection of the Ministry of Magic, or at home, when…

Eric: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Jamie: And the teachers. And the teachers, as well…

Eric: The Minister is going to protect Hogwarts, first of all. And second of all…

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: …I actually think in their homes is safer, in some ways, because Hogwarts is a single target. If you want to go after Hogwarts, now that Dumbledore is gone…

Jamie: Stronger united than we are divided, Eric.

Eric: Yeah, well, no, that’s true, but in their separate little homes, Voldemort’s not going to go knocking at everybody’s door until the very end, where eventually everything will eclipse, and people can’t escape. But I’m saying, if want to go and destroy Hogwarts, you might be able to do it if you’re Voldemort, now, because Dumbledore is dead. So, if everybody – if all the students and everything are at Hogwarts, and Voldemort tries to take Hogwarts, it might be slightly easier than if they’re all in their little homes and villages as far away as Suffolk, and, you know?

[Jamie laughs]

Laura: Exactly. The Ministry is not going to want to have to protect such a large target.

Eric: But I think it’ll be easier to protect.

Jamie: I still think it’s the safest place to be, though. At home, you’re all – you’re so disunited there, you’ve still got all the teachers there. If you think teachers are going to be possibly the best wizards and witches, they’re the people who teach the students, you know? I just think that I would rather be there, living in a castle that’s protected by enchantments, living in a castle under the eye of teachers, living in a castle that has protection I don’t even know about, living in a place where we’re all together. You know?

Laura: Yeah, where Voldemort knows where you are.

Jamie: But he’d know where you are, anyway. He’d just goes to a house and says he’s going to be a…

Laura: Not if you went into hiding.

Jamie: Oh, right. Well, fine. Fine.

Ben: So you’re still…

Jamie: We’ll build a nuclear bunker then, and go down there, and…

Laura: Hey, people do it. People do it.

Eric: The problem with hiding – that’s the thing is these students aren’t going to be the ones fighting the war, which is why I think it’s okay for them to go home, go into their homes…

Jamie: Okay, Eric.

Eric: …and be okay, because it’s not like you’re hiding and waiting for Voldemort to take over, because in certain ways these students would just be students of learning. I think learning is very important, but, at the same time, the people who are fighting the war against Voldemort will be the ones who make the advancements, will be the ones who stop him. And, actually, going into hiding isn’t necessarily letting the bad guys win, in this case…

Ben: Yes, it is.

Jamie: It is.

Laura: No, it’s not.

Ben: It totally is. Listen…

Eric: The people who were fighting Voldemort will remain fighting Voldemort. They aren’t the ones who will go into their homes. The people who are going into their homes…

Ben: I know, but when something begins to – when you let it affect the everyday lives of your citizens, is when you let the bad guys win.

Jamie: Exactly. You’re completely admitting defeat when, you know, when you do that. After this war is over – and it will end, obviously – there are going to be children having no direction, nowhere to go. I’m sure if – especially, I doubt that every other wizarding school in the world is going to close down. You can’t – one school closes down…

Laura: Yeah, but is every other…

Jamie: …it’s going to look terrible, as well.

Laura: Is every other wizarding school in the world such a big target as Hogwarts is? Because it’s been said from day one…

Jamie: They’re still centers. They’re still centers.

Laura: …that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts… No, it’s been said from day one that Voldemort would take over Hogwarts and turn it into a school of the Dark Arts if Dumbledore wasn’t there.

Jamie: But if they close down Hogwarts…

Ben: But I think it’s important…

Jamie: …then he’ll take it, anyway. It’s like giving it to him. They might as well wrap it in a…

Laura: Yeah, but at least then he doesn’t have a school full of students to take over.

Jamie: But then he has it permanently. He has it permanently.

Ben: Okay, something else that’s important to point out is that there is no other alternative to education. Home…

Laura: That’s not true.

Ben: Home study programs – what do you do? No, it’s been proven that they have to have some instruction how to do these spells. You can’t get everything from just reading a book. That’s not how it works, and when you have parents who are off working, you can’t just give the children a book to read at home and expect them to be able to just do magic right away. They have to have a place to get their education, and it makes sense for Hogwarts to stay open. As Jamie said before, Voldemort is only the worst wizard in the past hundred years and Hogwarts has been open for thousands of years, so it’s been open through previous wars. It doesn’t make sense to close it just because of the fact that Voldemort’s out on the run. That’s admitting defeat. That’s saying we should all go hide inside of our homes…

Jamie: Exactly.

Laura: It’s not. It’s absolutely not.

Ben: No, it is. No, it is. I’m drawing the parallel of 9/11 again, but after the terrorist attacks, it’d be like saying we shouldn’t have football games because all these people are…

Jamie: We shouldn’t fly in planes as well. We shouldn’t fly in planes.

Eric: Well…

Ben: We’re still going to have the football games. We shouldn’t fly in planes. We should just stop. We should all go hide in our basements because of the fact that Osama Bin Laden’s after us. It doesn’t work like that. People need…

Laura: People aren’t hiding, Ben. Are you telling me that you think all of the people on Harry’s side from school aren’t going to go out and fight against the Death Eaters? Because I think they are.

Jamie: No, of course they won’t.

Laura: I don’t think they need school.

Ben: What are they going to do? They need to have their education first. They’re going to be worthless against a bunch of adult wizards…

Laura: No, they don’t.

Ben: …who have had their education.

Eric: They’ve had their education. Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Hogwarts needs to stay open so that they can learn.

Laura: Yeah, don’t you see the point behind Dumbledore’s Army, at this point? Those students learned way more in Dumbledore’s Army…

Ben: Right, but there will be no more Dumbledore’s Army.

Laura: It doesn’t – they don’t need Hogwarts…

Ben: There’ll be nothing.

Laura: …to have Dumbledore’s Army.

Jamie: Of course they do!

Laura: No, they don’t. That was clearly exhibited in Book Six.

Jamie: This is so, this so, you know, Dumbledore’s Army, it’s a thing of students who are going to go and take on the Death Eaters and emerge victorious. It isn’t a fairy tale. They’ll go over there and half of them will be killed. Those two sisters, whose younger brother was killed by Greyback, they are not going to want to fight a war like this. They’re going to want to stay in the school and watch the news and see what’s going on from that perspective. You can’t just completely close down their social hub just because there is a war going on, you know.

Laura: I don’t know…

Eric: Because that’s why Harry’s…

Laura: I think if my little brother were killed by people I’d want to go out and fight the people that did it.

Eric: And that’s exactly why Harry is leaving Hogwarts.

Ben: That’s your mentality…

Jamie: Exactly…

Ben: … but you also have to think about the fact of what’s going to be better for the students? What are they going to think is better for them: stay at home and have a chance of being killed, or go to school, have fun with your friends, and face the same chances?

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: I think Hogwarts is safer. Even though Hogwarts has been infiltrated in the past with the Vanishing Cabinets, don’t you think security is going to be so much more tighter? It’s like saying after 9/11, that they’re going to use the airplanes again. It’s not going to happen.

Laura: Yes, but see there’s…

Ben: Security is so tight. They’ve already broken up attacks with the airplanes. It’s the same thing with infiltrating Hogwarts, they’re not going to be able to do it again. They’re going to attack some other way, and I don’t think that…

Laura: Exactly. They will attack another way.

Ben: …they should close down Hogwarts.

Laura: It’s just like – you bring up 9/11. People are afraid of the security of subways and trains because people are more focused on planes, now. People are – they’re going to be more focused on the secret passages into Hogwarts now. I mean, there’s going to always be a weakness, and…

Ben: But…

Laura: …the worst thing that you can do…

Ben: But at the same time, the people at Hogwarts are going to be concerned about those places too.

Laura: Sure, they will, but there will always be weaknesses. There are always going to be places where Death Eaters can get into the school, and the worst thing that they can do is assemble thousands of students there to be taken hostage.

Jamie: No, but it isn’t assembling them, they’re there already.

Eric: What Laura and I are saying, and I’ll put this into a nice little parody, a nice little story here…

Jamie: Well, thanks for that, Eric.

Eric: …is – you’re welcome – is that after 9/11, it significantly hurt plane travel. It didn’t – obviously it didn’t stop planes, but people were a little bit more wary of travel, and especially if they were planning a vacation to the Middle East, nobody does that anymore. [laughs] So, I think it’s a matter of just – obviously, we’re not flying. We are staying home instead of – say you were planning a trip to the Middle East. Obviously now you’re not going to go there because it’s a war zone, you could get killed. But at the same time, our leaders – Bush and everybody – are still fighting. They’re still sending troops over there, and the war is going on, but we’re in the comfort of our own home. We’re not over at Iraq fighting. You know, we’re not – say it’s being shipped to Iraq, just for a family vacation or something. You’re not going to do that because it’s a war zone, but you are at home, but our leaders are still fighting. The people who can win the war are still fighting the war, and…

Debate Continued

Ben: But Eric, here are the options that you’re faced with: you close down Hogwarts, you eliminate a place for education. You make it… You are bending to the bad guy’s will, and then, furthermore, we have to weigh that as we’re going to have this generation of people who are uneducated. What about the first-years – the incoming first-years? There’s always people at different levels of education…

Jamie: Exactly.

Ben: …within Hogwarts and it doesn’t make sense to close it down completely, to close it down. You have to weigh that up between that and the risk of Voldemort sieging Hogwarts, which doesn’t seem as likely because security is going to be so much more tighter.

Jamie: They’re going to have Aurors…

Ben: So much tighter…

Jamie: …all over the place.

Ben: …after what happened before.

Jamie: The place is going to be swarming with Aurors.

Eric: Yeah, but it was still so tight. If…

Laura: Yeah, the place was swarming with Dementors during Harry’s third year and Sirius Black still got in.

Eric: And that’s the thing – it was good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore had all his possible…

Jamie: Laura, Sirius Black is awesome. He could…

Laura: It doesn’t matter that he’s awesome. He was able to get past Death Eaters.

Jamie: He could… No, I don’t care.

Laura: Dementors, excuse me.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s different! Sirius Black found a way to get past them in the dog form, you know? It’s completely different. It’s…

Laura: No, it’s not completely different…

Jamie: Of course it is!

Laura: … because he was able to break their security.

Jamie: Of course it is. It’s completely different.

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security measures, Death Eaters got in, and, as a result, he was killed.

Jamie: That is one…

Eric: Under Dumbledore’s security – they were good enough for Dumbledore. Dumbledore knew more languages than Harry had ever heard of. Dumbledore is one of the most powerful wizards ever…

Jamie: Was one of the most powerful wizards ever.

Eric: …and even he overlooked some of these things.

Jamie: Every – that isn’t a reason to close… That isn’t a reason to…

Laura: He was fooled by a student, basically.

Jamie: He wasn’t fooled by a student. He was fooled by the fact…

Laura: Yes, he was.

Jamie: …that he didn’t – that he hadn’t considered the…

Laura: Death Eaters got into his school due to a student.

Jamie: Because…

Ben: Okay, but that does not justify closing Hogwarts…

Jamie: It doesn’t even nearly justify it. It’s one…

Ben: It… You have to have…

Laura: They were going to close Hogwarts because one student died there. In Harry’s second year.

Jamie: Exactly, and they didn’t because they realized that you can’t…

Laura: They didn’t because Harry solved it. Harry went and retrieved Ginny from the chamber. They would have closed Hogwarts if Ginny had died.

Jamie: You can’t say that. That is – I disagree completely.

Laura: Yes, they would’ve. The school governors were going to close the school.

Jamie: Yeah, but they were…

Laura: That’s the whole reason that Harry was motivated – I mean, apart from the fact that it was Ron’s little sister.

Jamie: Until they’ve caught the thing – until they caught the person, that it an acute problem. This war is chronic.

Ben: Never-ending. It’s…

Jamie: It’s going to be – you cannot…

Ben: It’s a war of ideologies. You can’t say, you can’t signal an end, because there’s always going to be the bad guys.

Jamie: It’s just stepped up a bit. It’s just intensified. Exactly. You can’t… You are basically saying, “We cannot handle this situation. We are leaving welfare, we are leaving education so we can put everything into this war.” You cannot do that. As Ben said, the people going into their first years…

Laura: But that’s what they’ve been doing all these years. They’ve been putting mediocre Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in place.

Eric: And the school was never the target. That’s the thing about World War II. Schools were – yes, schools remained in session, but schools weren’t the target.

Jamie: Eric, trust me, civilian targets were bombed. Schools…

Eric: I know.

Jamie: People died under tables all the time because of it.

Eric: Well, Jamie…

Ben: But the thing is, throughout the entire series, you hear about people showing up at home with the Dark Mark hovering…

Jamie: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: …above their house. And if the Death Eaters were going to do anything before, imagine how many students they could’ve killed, and how many they let go free. They’re only going for the main ones. That’s why Hogwarts has to stay open. Because…

Laura: No, because…

Ben: …they’re only going for the main ones. They’re not going to make a mass killing of a bunch of people they don’t even know.

Laura: Oh, yes, they would. Oh, yes, they would.

Ben: That’s not how they operate. They’re going…

Eric: They will. They’ll get to the main ones. They’ll get to the main ones.

Jamie: If… Okay, the thing…

Laura: They’ll kill anyone they have to who’s in their way.

Ben: If that was the case – Laura, if that was the case, then they would have done it in The Half Blood Prince, but they didn’t.

Laura: No, because those students were safe in…

Ben: Ad that’s my point exactly.

Laura: …their common rooms, and they had a common goal of killing Dumbledore that night.

Eric: Yeah, and the thing is, if you’re going to kill…

Ben: Well, their common goal is going to kill Harry. It’s not going to be…

Laura: No, they were…

Ben: “…let’s go here and just mess up all these students.” That’s not how it’s going to work, because…

Laura: Yes, because it causes the kind of discord that they’re looking for…

Ben: …they hate – they only hate a certain people.

Laura: …that makes them stronger.

Ben: No, they only hate certain people. They hate mudbloods, they hate Muggles. They’re not going to target the average pure-blood wizard. Only if you’re not on their side.

Eric: But if the average pure-blood wizard gets killed, they aren’t going to feel that sorry about it. If they’re all in a giant room, it doesn’t matter.

Jamie: If you’re going to die – if you are 100 percent, okay, going to die, okay? Would you rather die in your house, alone, or with everyone else who is your age, everyone who you’ve spent the last three years with at school? I would want to die with everyone else. I would not want to die alone…

Eric: Yes, but what would your parents want?

Jamie: …thinking we’ve given in and we’ve died.

Eric: But what would your parents want?

Laura: You take a risk of having a mass killing of students at Hogwarts and then the school will be closed forever.

Jamie: There’s always a risk. There’s a risk of a mass killing of a community, of a mass killing of a village or a city. There’s always going to be that thing.

Laura: Yes, so wouldn’t you rather…

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up…

Laura: Wouldn’t you rather split up the risk?

Ben: You don’t see us breaking up the communities.

Jamie: No, I would rather be there. If Voldemort is going to take the school, he is going to take the school. I would want to be there with everyone else still standing up…

Ben: And, also, something else…

Jamie: …standing up in my citadel.

Ben: Something else. What is going to be better? What is going to be more effective: having all these students together where they can be trained and be able to defend against the dark arts and actually have a chance against the Death Eaters, or have them be separate in their own households, where there’s going to be destroyed, and…

Eric: Who says they’re going to be trained?

Laura: How well can they be educated at Hogwarts, though?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Because half of the teachers are in the Order.

Andrew: Okay, we need the – time’s up.

Eric: That’s the thing…

Laura: Okay. Time’s up.

Eric: Half the teachers are in…

Eric: Well…

Ben: We each get one minute.

Eric: … I think that’s a final point.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: I think that…

Andrew: Time’s up.

Eric: No…

Andrew: Closing arguments. Hold on – Eric.

Ben: No, your time’s up.

Andrew: Eric! [laughs]

Ben: You can’t say anything more.

Eric: But Laura wasn’t done with her sentence and you said time was up and we had no warning by a couple minutes.

Laura: Yeah, but time’s up. Time’s up, we can’t say anything else.

Ben: No, time’s up, time’s up. Time’s up means you shut up.

Andrew: We extended it by like… [laughs]

Jamie: We extended it by about nine light-years. Anyway, come on.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Closing arguments, Ben and Jamie.

Jamie: Ben.

Andrew: One minute.

Ben: Well…

Andrew: Go.

Ben: The first thing that I think is important to remember…

Jamie: Give me 30 seconds.

Ben: …is you have to weigh the fact that if these students do not go to Hogwarts, what’s going to happen is you’re going to create a whole generation of uneducated people, because we don’t know when this war is going to end, so the students have to go to get their education. Secondly, they are safer at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is going to be swarming with people from the Ministry. They’re going to be safer and they are stronger united than they are divided being in their own homes. Thirdly, it’s admitting defeat. It’s like saying, “Well, let’s just let the Death Eaters – let’s just let them win.” By going to their homes and being hermits – that’s ridiculous. So, Hogwarts should stay open. It has to stay open.

Jamie: It has got to stay open. As you said, there’s the only summing up thing – we are stronger united than we are divided.

Andrew: Twenty seconds.

Jamie: They have to stand together. They have to put a front up against Voldemort and challenge him. That’s it. And we have to educate our children and that’s as far as it goes.

Ben: Beautiful.

Andrew: Seven, six, done?

Ben: So… Yeah. Vote for Ben and Jamie.

Andrew: Laura and Eric, one minute, go!

Laura: All right. Students do not need the kind of formal education that Hogwarts provides to become educated enough to keep the economy going and to fight Voldemort. And frankly I think that kind of education is taking a back seat at this point because you don’t have to be together all in one place to be united. Students maintain strong bonds over summer vacations. Students can get together and do what they want outside of school. They do not need to be together in Hogwarts where they are going to be a single target. Not to mention the Ministry of Magic will have to put so many of their employees and so many of their forces at Hogwarts when they could be other places defending other people. Eric?

Eric: What kind of school are you going to have with all the good Order, all the people who know how to defend stuff are in the Order, are fighting the war. What kind of school would it be? I agree you’ll be together and you’ll be with your friends and stuff, but is that what your parents want for you? For you to be at the target. You know? Jamie said he wants to be there with his friends. Would his parents allow it? That kind of thing is…

Andrew: Five.

Eric: …happening.

Andrew: Well, that was a very good…

Laura: It got very heated.

Eric: No, it sucked. I can’t be on this side.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I can’t even remember I was concentrating on that so much.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Laura, I…

Ben: Wasn’t that good?

Laura: That was good.

Jamie: That was actually quite good, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: I am sorry I yelled at you guys. I do love you.

Andrew: Awww. Hugs all around.

Laura: I just…

Eric: Laura, you did well.

Laura: Thank you.

Andrew: Now, okay, now how am I doing this, Ben? Because I have little things to say, to point out. I have to sort of present my own case, don’t I?

Ben: Well… No, you can…

Andrew: Of why I chose the winner?

Ben: Yeah, do that and then you give us – tell us why you chose.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: Tell us how we’re wrong.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I’m going to have to go… [laughs] I hate taking sides like this. I am going to have to go with Ben and Jamie because, because…

Jaime: Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: Because… [laughs]

Jamie: I was going to call you a ******* if you didn’t.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Both sides brought up good points, but I think when we’re talking about whether or not the school should stay open, they presented more points for the school staying open. First of all, Laura and Eric both brought – well, Laura brought up that the school is penetrable and they were thinking of closing it, which is a pretty good argument because who is to stay the school can’t be penetrated in Book Seven again. However, Jamie and Ben brought up good points such as homeschooling won’t work because they need teachers for spells and if they close the school now, when are they going to decide to open it again if the war does not even in Book Seven? Although we can probably assume that it will. Also, with the school being open, there will be a huge amount of Ministry protection because it is going to be their butts on the line if they do keep it open and God forbid an attack happened. And they also brought up the point that Dumbledore’s Army is not prepared. And can you… I do not think that a lot of people in that Army would be able to go out and fight Death Eaters. I mean I think that is kind of absurd because they are Hogwarts student.

Laura: I don’t agree. Five members of Dumbledore’s Army went to fight Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic.

Jamie: But, it’s like… It’s like…

Eric: And they did a good job.

Ben: But Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura, don’t argue with the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Pipe down. Pipe down, Laura.

Andrew: I’m talking about as a whole.

Jamie: You lose ten points for that, Laura.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: That’s, that’s what I had.

Ben: Okay, well now is the chance for you, the listeners, to vote.

Andrew: At home. [laughs]

Ben: So, go to www…

Andrew: Text message “Magic”. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Magic. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Standard text messaging rates apply.

Ben: Go to and regardless of what Andrew said – his opinion only counts for 25% of the vote. So, if you feel that Eric and Laura really did present the best arguments, please vote for them on There will be a poll section where you will be able to see how to vote. And so, yeah. You count for 75% of the vote. So…

Andrew: And we’ll…

Jamie: Ben, I think it’s only fair to point out that we will be logging IP addresses and anyone who doesn’t vote for us will be banned from downloading the show in the future.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Ben: Yeah. [laughs] Just kidding. Just kidding.

Andrew: We encourage everyone to vote before Wednesday – before Wednesday night because that is when we record the show and we’ll announce the winner then. So, you’ll have three or four days to vote. So, go on and…

Ben: So, please – and remember, we’re asking for your fair and unbiased point of view. Please do not – if I’m your favorite MuggleCaster or Jamie is your favorite MuggleCaster, and you feel that we got, basically, blown out of the water, then please vote for them, because we don’t deserve it. Just because you like us, doesn’t mean you should vote for us. Vote for who you thought presented the best case, and who you thought won the real arguments. So…

Andrew: Very good.

Ben: Yep. I like this segment.

Andrew: Yeah, I like it.

Laura: I thought it was fun. [laughs] I want to do it again.

Jamie: That was awesome.

Eric: I still didn’t get to say my point.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: If you have a discussion, a debate topic for us, e-mail it to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. This, “Hogwarts: Shouldn’t It Stay Open?” that was a very good debate topic. Hopefully we can keep doing this weekly.

Ben: And please, please create your topics in the form of “should,” just so we don’t get into in an argument over whether it actually will happen. If it’s arguments for whether it should happen, it gives both sides a lot more ground because, for example, here, we know that Hogwarts, most likely, is going to stay open. But, if I was to say to Laura and Eric, “Oh, you know Hogwarts is going to stay open,” then it wouldn’t leave them much ground for them to argue their side because they may say, “Oh, I guess that’s a good point and why would Hogwarts close?” That type of thing. So, we’re saying Hogwarts “should.” Please put the word “should” in there somewhere.

Dumbledore Facts

Andrew: All right, next up, Dumbledore Facts with Jamie Lawrence. [laughs]

Jamie: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I just have to find them now, sorry.

Andrew: Did you see that one I sent you? I sent you a few, but one of them was hilarious.

Laura: My throat is dry from all of this debating.

Jamie: Oh god. Okay, can I just say that everyone – the response to this segment has just been absolutely fantastic. I’ve got so many e-mails detailing some extremely good Dumbledore quotes and some not so good Dumbledore quotes. But, yeah, thank you very much. So, I’m just going to find this one now. Okay, we’ll start off with one who, I don’t know who it’s from, oh, from Brian, 14, in Massapequa Park, New York.

“When Dumbledore approaches a Hippogriff, the Hippogriff has to bow to Dumbledore.”

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, why am I the only one laughing? [laughs]

Jamie: Because no one else understands this awesome…

Laura: Because I don’t understand. I[m sorry.

Andrew: Okay, I’m going to have to send you a YouTube video and then maybe you’ll understand.

Laura: Okay.

Jamie: Okay.

“They built the London Underground so it would look like the scar above Dumbledore’s knee.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: You know, that’s really good.

Jamie: Okay.

“Dumbledore makes the Dementors relive their worst memories.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: This is a weird one.

“If a Boggart met a Boggart, both would turn into Dumbledore and die of fear.”

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Okay, this one is…

“When Dumbledore looks into Mirror of Erised, he just sees Dumbledore.”

Oh, these are from Mattaius, who’s 20 from Sweden. Thank you very much, these are some of the best. I’ve got seriously so many, I’ve got so many.

“Upon hearing that he was played by Michael Gambon, Dumbledore killed Gambon. Dumbledore gets played by no man.”

[Eric and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: This is awesome. And this is sort of a non-Harry Potter one.

“If Dumbledore misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh my god.

Andrew: I like it.

Jamie: I could laugh at these for – these are brilliant.

Andrew: I’m going to find a good Chuck Norris on Conan video and…

Jamie: Yeah, go on.

Andrew: …post it in the show notes, because those of you who don’t understand it, if you watch this segment on Conan that he used to regularly do, you’ll understand it. [laughs] It’s very funny because Chuck Norris is this tough guy.

Jamie: There’s one specifically for me.

“The Hogwarts kitchen bin tore all its muscles in its lower back when Dumbledore tried to lift it.”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Jamie: Okay, that’s enough Dumbledore quotes for next week because too much of a good thing… We’ll be back next week with more and more and more. Please keep emailing them to me. They’re very, very funny and I love receiving them.

Crackpot Theory of the Week

Andrew: Yep, now time for another relatively new segment. The Crackpot Theory of the Week.

Eric: Yay.

Laura: Yay.

Andrew: Title not stolen from the Lost podcast with Jane and Jack. All right, so…

Eric: Yeah, really.

Andrew: …if you remember last week – they’re a very good podcast. If you remember last week, we asked you to send in your crackpot theories to pose to Eric, which he will try to defend as if his life was depending on it.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: The key here…

Eric: Now, Is my life really depending on it?

Andrew: Yes, because we are going to send out…

Eric: Snipers lined up across the…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric” Yeah.

Andrew: The key to these crackpot theories is that they have to be feasible. They can’t be outrageous.

Jamie: Yeah, they have to be feasible.

Eric: Well, there’s a difference between crackpot theories and stupid theories.

Jamie: But also, Eric has to just launch into defending it completely.

Eric: I know, right?

Jamie: He can’t think, he can’t look at his books, it is just straight away for… How long is it for?

Andrew: This is going to be good.

Jamie: One minute or two minutes? Or do you think…

Andrew: Well, what should we do?

Jamie: One minute, one minute we’ll go for. One minute, I will give you a statement and you’ll have to do it – defend it. Okay, for one minute, are you ready? Eric, this is your crackpot theory of the week: Moaning Myrtle is a spy for Voldemort.

Eric: Okay. First of all, she guards – she’s strategically poised at the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets. So, she’s a spy for Voldemort because she can keep track of anybody – any goings in and out. She could also hold – thanks to Harry she knows how to open the Chamber of Secrets. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if when Harry found Draco crying over the sink, I think they were actually about to enter the Chamber of Secrets and plan a meeting together. But that was – obviously, Harry interrupted, got all moody. Pretty soon people were Sectum Sempraing and it got pretty nasty, but that was actually, you were witnessing the meetings between Moaning Myrtle and Draco, and they were both discussing the Dark Lord when Harry walked in.

Jamie: Pretty good for the first attempt, I thought, Eric.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, it was not bad. First on the show.

Andrew: This was submitted by Stephanie, 17, of Newark, Delaware.

Eric: Pretty good, yeah. Should we go on?

Andrew: Should we read what her points were?

Jamie: Yeah. Go on.

Andrew: “She always seems to appear when Harry is trying to figure out something that relates to the Dark Lord; for example, brewing the Polyjuice Potion and discovering the clue for the second task in the Triwizard Tournament. Each appearance she makes, she seems to aid Harry somehow i.e., pointing him in the direction of the Chamber of Secrets, which would lead him into the grasp of Voldemort. I would love to hear you guys defend this, even though I think this theory is not exactly plausible.”

Eric: Also, I would say she is head-over-heels for Voldemort, but it’s not really funny.

[Jamie laughs]

Eric: She’s…

Jamie’s British Joke of the Week (sort of)

Andrew: Does anyone else have any other points going on? She might. She likes good looking young boys, I think.

Eric: Well, she was – she was into them so much she just…

Jamie: Yeah, no. Yeah.

Eric: She just dropped dead when she saw him.

Jamie: And Voldemort came around, and she looked a bit flushed.

[Everyone laughs]

[Andrew makes drum roll]

Ben: There’s Jamie’s British Joke of the Day!

Jamie: Yes! I don’t have to do one now! Yes!

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Do you have any others?

Jamie: No, I don’t.

Andrew: Do you have – oh, I thought we were only going to do one a week.

Jamie: Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. One a week. One a week. No, no, no. One a – come on!

Andrew’s “Huh?! of the Week

Andrew: Okay. Now, it’s time for Andrew’s Huh?! of the Week.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

[Andrew clears throat]

Eric: You better…

Andrew: Got a frog in my throat.

Eric: One day, your voice is going to stick like that, Andrew.

Andrew: Huh?! Yeah, like that? Okay. laughs]

Eric: [in high-pitched voice] I’m Andrew Siiimmms! [laughs]

Andrew: Actually, it’s not an e-mail this week. It’s actually a web site. Every once in a while, I like checking out all the other Harry Potter fan sites out there, because, you know, I’m open. MuggleNet, Leaky – they’re great, but how about the little sites? They count, too, don’t they? [pauses] Nah, they really don’t. But, anyway…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: [laughs] Andrew!

Andrew: I like checking them out, and there’s one site called, and I thought this was pretty funny. They have a part of their site called, “The Truth About Fan Sites,” and they have little questions, you know, to answer people’s questions, like, “What does it really mean when a site goes on hiatus?” and stuff like that. They recently updated it. They have questions like, “Why do many sites constantly change the layouts?” and, “What’s going to happen to all the HP fan sites once all the books and films are done?” No! [Andrew pretends to bursts into tears] But, there’s another question here that I really like, and this is just funny. The question is: “Why does almost every HP fan site have a podcast now?” And their answer? [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: “Simple. Because MuggleNet has one.”

[Everyone laughs and sighs “Awww”]

Andrew: And there you go! That is our Huh?! of the Week!

Laura: That warmed my heart. [laughs]

Other Harry Potter Podcasts

Andrew: But I thought maybe we could spend a couple of minutes talking about all these other Harry Potter podcasts out there. I don’t know what, exactly, but what do you guys think of all of them?

Jamie: Carpe diem.

Ben: They’re good.

Laura: How many has everyone listened to?

Andrew: Well, they haven’t listen to any of them, because [in a jokingly gruff voice] we’re so busy.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But it’s just amazing how many podcasts there are [laughs] now relating to Harry Potter.

Laura: Well, I think it’s good because, as far as I know, I believe MuggleCast was the first Harry Potter podcast on iTunes.

Andrew: [imitating Woody Woodpecker] That is right, Laura! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Laura: And I think that a lot of people were inspired by that.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: And I think it’s a good thing. I feel very flattered.

Jamie: It’s just like…

Laura: I like it whenever people – actually, I know that some people over at MuggleNet Fan Fiction have started some little, small podcasts, which is pretty cool.

Andrew: Oh, wonderful!

Laura: I think it’s cute.

Andrew: Wonderful.

Andrew: Well, the sincerest form of flattery is imitation, yes? No?

Laura: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

Andrew: That’s what I meant! [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: If that – if that’s…

Laura: Good job, Andrew!

Andrew: But, I do have one little problem with all these Harry Potter podcasts. [jokingly sounds exasperated] Well, of course, there’s PotterCast

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But there’s also RowlingCast, SpellCast, SnapeCast…

Eric: Oh, my gosh!

Andrew: SlashCast…

Eric: The names, people!

Andrew: DumbleCast…

Jamie: DumbleCast?

Eric: Come on!

Andrew: EnchantedCast, FlooCast…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …WizardCast, and I’m not making these up.

Eric: And don’t go on your Cast and say…

Andrew: Can people please…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: VeelaCast, [laughs] PhoenixCast, HPCast – that’s original. You don’t have to put “Cast”…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: …at the end of a noun for your podcast title.

Jamie: What? You mean like…

Andrew: Do what…

Jamie: HogwartsCast?

Andrew: Yeah. SlashCast, RowlingCast, SnapeCast, Harry Potter Podcast [laughs], whichever Cast you’re on.

Eric: And – and don’t go…

Jamie: They are Harry Potter podcasts, though.

Laura: They are Casts! That’s what they are. Why can’t they call them that?

Eric: But the fact is every, you know, the thing is, don’t go on your own Cast and say, “Oh, they mentioned us,” because at the same time, we’re just saying it’s kind of interesting. There are really good – there are a few Harry Potter podcasts that are actually – like Alohamora, or something along those lines – it’s not “Cast.” And there’s nothing wrong with “Cast.” As Laura said, you are Casts, and I’m sure, you know – I’m sure you all have great shows, but the difference is that everybody has sort of capitalized on this whole “Cast” thing.

Andrew: Right. That’s my point.

Eric: And it’s just like, well…

Andrew: So, what the Huh?!

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: How about there’s good ones, like Overflowing [mispronounces]Pen-ee-sives and Hogwarts Confidential.

Jamie: Oh, that’s good.

Andrew: Dumbledore Studies – clever names like that.

Laura: Did you say, “Pen-ee-sives”? [laughs]

Andrew: Pensieves.

Jamie: Pen-ee-sives! [laughs]

Eric: Pickle.

Andrew: I said, “Pensieves!”

Eric: Dumbledore’s Pickle.

Laura: [still laughing] No, you said, “Pen-ee-sives.”

Jamie: I think you may have said, “Pen-ee-sives,” Andrew.

Andrew: No, I didn’t!

Jamie: No, I think you may done it.

Laura: Yeah, you did! [laughs]

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Then there’s – so anyway… There’s ones like mudblood on the Air, Harmony Podcast.

Ben: That’s very, very nice.

Andrew: Fangirling [laughs] So anyway – oh and FilkCast – how could I forget? So, that’s all. I just wanted to bring that up. I thought that was funny. One again, Spinner’s End, “Simple, because MuggleNet has one.”

Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Now, moving along, we have Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul to wrap things up. This comes from Christian, 18 of Hamilton, New Jersey. He writes…

Jamie: Oh wow, Ben.

Andrew: Or she.

Jamie: One more from New Jersey.

Andrew: Yeah, I know, another from New Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. “My name is Christian…”

Ben: Coincidence.

Andrew: Listen, the smartest people clearly are from New Jersey. I don’t even look where they’re from before, I just look at the content.

Jamie: Of course you don’t. Of course you don’t.

Andrew: [laughs] I’m sorry, okay?

My name is Christian, I am 18 and I live in Hamilton, New Jersey.

Jersey represent Andrew. Jersey represent. Anyway…

I just graduated and started my first year of college down in Virginia. It’s about a 6 hour drive if there is no traffic. I went to a smaller high school in New Jersey where I was captain of the baseball team and soccer team. I was friends with just about everyone in my grade. I went from knowing everyone in a comfortable environment, to being thrown into a place six hours away from home and knowing no one. The first week was real tough and I listened to MuggleCast every day when I got lonely or whatever. I just wanted to thank you guys for being there even though you didn’t know you were. Keep on, keep on truckin’.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: So, that’s very nice. That’s always very inspiring, when we get e-mails like that; saying that you were there for us, or me, but you didn’t know it…

Eric: [sings] I’ll be there for you.

Andrew: No! Why’d you have to pick that song?

Jamie: I was going to take, “Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you.”

Andrew: What’s that from?

Eric: That’s Savage Garden.

Jamie: It’s not! It’s My Heart Will Go On!

Laura: [laughs] That’s Celine Dion.

Eric: Oh!

Andrew: [laughs] Savage Garden.

Jamie: [sings] Truly madly deeply do…

Andrew: Anyway…

Eric: I totally screwed that up.

Jamie: [sings] I don’t know the words so I’m just going to sing…

Andrew: Anyone got anything else? Anything?

Laura: Nope.

Andrew: Anything on your mind that’s really bugging you?

Jamie: Well, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Gimme a Butterbeer, maybe?

[Ben Laughs]

Laura: Yeah, Ben. Where are the Butterbeers?

Andrew: Everyone wants to know.

Ben: Actually, thanks to Kyle for sending me a butterbeer. He actually sent me a Butterbeer.

Andrew: The one I forwarded you? Oh. [laughs]

Ben: An actual butterbeer. No, a real butterbeer.

Jamie: Yes. He e-mailed it and he pulled it out of his computer screen.

Andrew: Ben, I forwarded one to you.

Ben: No, I’ve actually already done that one before. It’s been so long that you don’t remember.

Show Close

Andrew: Hmmm, okay. Well, anyway, that wraps up MuggleCast Episode 54. Contact information. PO Box, Benjamin?


PO Box 223
Moundridge, Kansas 67107

Andrew: You can also call us. In the United States 1-218-20-MAGIC. That’s 1-218-62442. If you’re in the United Kingdom, you can dial 020-8144-0677. If in Australia, you can dial 02-8003-5668. We haven’t been getting many calls from the United Kingdom and Australia, because we can see what number they’re coming from, so feel free to use that number. We know there’s a lot of you out there. You can also…

Jamie: Or you can Two-way Mirror us.

Andrew: Yeah [laughs]

Jaime: Two-way Mirror us.

Eric: Yeah, Two-way Mirror us.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I just hope we’ve got out mirrors on us at the time or you’re…

Andrew: [laughs] Channel Four. You can also Skype in a voicemail question or comment to our MuggleCast username. Just remember to try to keep your message under thirty seconds, blah blah blah blah blah. You can also e-mail us, mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com, or just go on for all that contact information, and a handy feedback forum. Also, I wanted to plug our Frappr Map because we haven’t in a while. We’re also working on a MySpace, and we do have a Facebook group that you can sign up for – er, you can join. There’s a good, what, 300 people on there right now?

Laura: MySpace? [sighs]

Andrew: Join the Frappr map and add you’re photos because…

Laura: MySpace…

Andrew: Because I was looking at everyone’s photos today. You’re an attractive bunch; every one of you. [laughs] And ummm…

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: But don’t add avatars.

Eric: Andrew, nice looking.

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: That’s really lame and that just shows that you’re incompetent and don’t like how you look, and like I said, you’re all an attractive bunch. We’ve also got a new website in the works. That will be up soon. Take our listener survey and rate us on Yahoo podcast sites and all that good stuff. Once again I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: And don’t forget to vote on Podcast Alley. I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: And don’t forget to submit – to send in your…

Eric: I am…

Jamie: V is for Vendetta filks turned to MuggleCast to jamie at staff dot mugglenet dot com

Eric: Yes, you don’t want us to say verily this visage…

Jamie: No, you definitely don’t want to say that. Precisely. That is exactly what you don’t want to say. Okay. I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: Right.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Andrew: [laughs] We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 55.

Eric: Bye!


Eric: Uh, are you okay saying yours after mine?

Laura: Yeah, it’s fine. Just whenever Andrew…

Jamie: Oh, the disorganization.

Andrew: Is this a tea party? Come on.

Laura: Okay, no! You know what!?

[Jamie laughs loudly]


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Ally, Amanda, Eloise, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Roni, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly