Transcript #60

MuggleCast 60 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because we all could use a little more love, this is MuggleCast Episode 60 for October 22nd, 2006.

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Eric’s Crackpot Theory of the Week

Andrew: Eric Scull, your crackpot theory of the week is: Dumbledore was a hairless Demiguise.

Eric: Realistically, whose beard is that long? It’s got to be – it’s got to be fake. It’s got to be a wig or maybe magically enhanced or something, but nobody’s beard is that long. Really, what you don’t know about Albus Dumbledore is that he’s been bald since birth. It’s just a character trait.

Laura: You’re supposed to be proving it, Eric.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Did I ever prove them?

Laura: Yeah, you’re supposed to use, like, evidence to support the theory…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Oh!

Laura: …no matter how outrageous it is.

Eric: Right. Well, aren’t Demiguises the things that can go invisible?

Laura: Yeah…

Andrew: Yes.

Eric: Yes, well, easily without wearing an invisibility cloak. Even though they’re cut up…

Laura: Uh huh…

Eric: …and made into… They’re – they’re made into
invisibility cloaks. So I don’t know if that counts as not wearing one
if you’re wearing your own skin.

Andrew: So is that your answer? Is that the best you can do?

Eric: Well, I don’t know. What does…

Andrew: For the fans, for the listeners.

Eric: What does Chad, 15, from, you know, Arkansas think of that, who sent it in?

Andrew: It was actually Miranda, 17, of Idaho, and her points include:
Dumbledore can turn invisible without a cloak…

Eric: Yay! Hey!

Andrew: Another point; this would be a reason it’s weird that he had James’s cloak, even though he can turn invisible himself.

Eric: Ah, I didn’t think of that one.

Ben: Well, let’s get, let’s get her on the show. She can do…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: She can do…

Andrew: Forget Eric.

Ben: …Eric’s Crackpot Theory better than Eric can. [laughs]

Andrew: Eric’s fired. [laughs]

Eric: Uh.

Andrew: He seems to be able to see through the invisibility cloaks.

Eric: Andrew, why does that make him a hairless Demiguise?

Andrew: I don’t know. [laughs]

Eric: I…

Andrew: She said, “I know, crazy, I almost had myself convinced before I realized just what I was saying.”

Welcome Back

Andrew: Welcome to another week of some excellent MuggleCasting, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Eric and

Kevin: [simultaneously] I’m…

Kevin: Kevin Steck.

[Everyone speaks at the same time]

Eric: Oh, sorry.

Andrew: Whoa…

Eric: I forgot.

Ben: Whoa, Eric. Who do you think you are?

Eric: I forgot. I forgot my place there, just for a second.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: I’m very sorry. I’m going to go last, in honor of myself.

Ben: And Jamie.

Laura: Good job, Eric. I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: This would be the show where we bring you the latest in Harry Potter news, theories, discussions, all this other nonsense.

Ben: This would be the show, or this is the show?

Andrew: I think this is the show.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: But it could be, and it will be.

Ben: I was going to say; maybe we’re doing something different this
week. Maybe we’re just going to BS the entire time.

Andrew: I don’t know. Maybe we’ll try that.

Kevin: [laughs] Oh, yeah. Something different.

Andrew: Before we do anything else, though…

Ben: Speaking of BS, let’s go to Micah Tannenbaum…

[Andrew and Kevin laugh]

Ben: …for the past week’s news.


Micah: It was reported after months of negotiations, JK Rowling had signed a letter of intent to the Walt Disney Company allowing them to carry out preliminary construction on a theme park with Harry Potter characters. Tuesday, a representative for Jo informed us that there is no truth to this. There goes my shot at riding Dementors of the Caribbean. That was a terrible joke.

Terry Gilliam, the acclaimed director Warner Bros. turned down for Sorcerer’s Stone, said in a new interview that he has no intention to direct either Movie 6 or 7, debunking previous rumors that he would. He was quoted as saying, “Warner Bros. had their chance the first time around, and they blew it. It’s a factory job, that’s what it is, and I know the way it’s done. I’ve had too many friends work on those movies. I know the way it works, and that’s not the way I work.”

Many Terry, retract those claws, would ya?

Gilliam went on to discuss what his Potter movie would have been like:

He said: “Alfonso Cuaron’s [Prisoner of Azkaban] is really good, but the first two I thought were just bad. They missed the whole point of it; they missed the magic of it… Alfonso did something much closer to what I would’ve done.”

Awww, somebody’s jealous. That was just too easy.

In a new interview, actor Rupert Grint spoke a little about the fifth Harry Potter movie, saying they have about a month of filming remaining. He also mentioned a Christmas scene with the Weasleys that he enjoyed, and touched on the topic of a director for Half-Blood Prince, noting rumors that Alfonso Cuaron or Chris Columbus may return for the film. has released a new report after visiting the Order of the Phoenix set recently. The crew was in the process of shooting scenes involving Thestrals, Hogsmeade Station, and the Hogwarts Express. Filming was located at Black Park in Buckinghamshire, England.

Finally, the American Library Association is asking teens to vote this week – why just teens? Everybody vote this week for their three favorite books with the association subsequently posting the top 10. Half-Blood Prince is among those nominated. Be sure to vote and make Laura Mallory cringe.

That’s all the news for this October 22nd, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.


Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah. Let’s take care of a few announcements.
Don’t forget to purchase your MuggleCast t-shirts because they help
support the show, and they’re very nice to wear. We have some new designs out – actually we have one new design. We have the Lumos shirts that are available. They’re pretty cool looking, so even if you didn’t go to Lumos, even if you don’t know what Lumos is, buy them because they’re cool-looking. And…

Ben: Lumos 2006. They’re very nice t-shirts.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: All the cool kids are doing it.

Andrew: Don’t forget to place your vote at Podcast Alley. We’re actually falling behind this month. We’re like, number five.

Eric: For shame.

Andrew: Yeah, there’s other podcasts beating us and it’s kind of sad,
[starts speaking quietly] so maybe if everyone could just place
their votes once a month, we could get a little higher up there. So…

Ben: Please, just once a month.

Eric: Self-conscience.

Andrew: Just once a month.

Laura: Wow.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: Love how sad we sound.

Andrew: Bad news out of Australia. Bad news out of Australia.

Ben: We lost. Oh, my gosh.

Kevin: Awww, geez.

Andrew: Lost the Nickelodeon Australian Kids’ Choice Awards to a podcast called Camp Orange Maudecast.

Laura: What is that?

Andrew: “Which makes sense, considering it is a Nick show,” writes Megan, 18, of Australia. The Kids’ Choice Awards got some criticism in the past, I was reading on Wikipedia…

Eric: Yeah, it’s not worth it.

Andrew: …because they sort of – the winners always seem to be Nick –
Nickelodeon-related television shows.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So, it doesn’t surprise me that we didn’t win. Even if – maybe, you know, granted, maybe we didn’t get the most votes.

Ben: We all know it’s a load of phooey, because who listens to the Camp Orange Maudecast?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Seriously.

Andrew: It’s not even on iTunes. I tried to look it up on iTunes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It wasn’t there.

Eric: They have their own…

Andrew: But, thanks to everyone who did place a vote for us, we appreciate it.

Ben: So, so do us a favor. E-mail Nickelodeon, send them your complaints. [laughs]

Andrew: Let them know how you feel about this win.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, let them know how you feel about MuggleCast getting shot down.

Andrew: Also, you might be wondering where Jamie is this week.

Eric: No.

Andrew: MuggleCast has personally paid for him to get lessons in French because he butchered the RSVP pronunciation. He thought it was “repondez s’il vous plait,” then someone e-mailed and said, “No, it’s respondez s’il vous plait,” without checking it. [laughs] So, he just said – he just trusted that one person. It actually is “repondez s’il vous plait.” Thanks to Holly, 17, of Canada.

Ben: Come on, Jamie.

Andrew: We’ll never bring it up again. Yeah, we will never bring it up again. [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

MuggleCast at Prophecy 2007

Andrew: Also, little announcement. It’s so far – it’s so far back in the planning stages. [clears throat] It’s – we really have nothing to say, other than that – well, here, let me ask you guys something. What is the number one request that we get right now?

Ben: More Ben Schoen, I think.

Laura: [laughs] No.

Andrew: That’s number two. What’s number one?

Ben: Oh. Less Eric Scull?

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Andrew: That’s number three.

Ben: Awww, I’m …I can’t…

Eric: [laughs] That’s…

Andrew: The number one thing people are asking us right now is, “Will you guys be at Prophecy 2007…”

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: “…in Canada?”

Kevin: Oh.

Laura: Geez. [laughs]

Andrew: Which is August 2nd to the 5th, 2007.

Ben: Nothing good ever came out of Canada.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs]

Ben: I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding, Canadian visitors.

Eric: Well, it didn’t come from Canada, HPF is based in America.

Ben: I know, I’m just kidding.

Eric: I’m registered.

Ben: Are you really?

Andrew: The answer is – you – you signed up for Prophecy?

Eric: Yeah.

Ben: Save Gas Money. [laughs] Part two, with Eric Scull.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: [still laughing] Two.

Eric: Part two. I rearranged the acronym. We’re going to read Book Three from Chapter Four, “The Dementor,” on…

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: We’re just going to read all night long.

Ben: We’re going to popcorn read?

Andrew: Oh, yeah, are we?

Eric: And John Noe’s going to be there. He’s going to show up and hand
out Leaky stickers and leave.

Ben: What site?

Andrew: So if you haven’t figured it out, yes, we are planning on going to Prophecy.

Ben: Did you actually, did you actually…

Andrew: There’s no…

Ben: …talk to Melissa about this?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: No. We haven’t talked; we haven’t talked to the Prophecy people about doing a live podcast yet, or anything. So…

Ben: But we will be there. Tentatively. Tentatively.

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: Yes.

Ben: Tentatively.

Andrew: If you want to help us out, if you want to help us out, send a little e-mail to the Prophecy
people. Say, “Hey, at Lumos, the Leaky Mug did a podcast. They going to be doing one again?” You know, just drop a hint, you know? And then we’ll get in contact with them soon. So…

Ben: Yeah, so as of right now we’ll know for sure in like, probably
within the next, you know, it has to be the next month or two, we’ll
know for sure if we’re doing a podcast or not.

Andrew: I guess.

Ben: Well, you know, last time…

Laura: Maybe. [laughs]

Ben: …we knew November, and the convention was in…

Andrew: Was it November?

Laura: Yeah, it was November.

Ben: Yeah, we asked in November, and the convention was clear in…

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Ben: It was in July.

Andrew: July.

Ben: So… And this time, it’s in early August. So, yeah, , I believe is the website. So…

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Go check it out. Get registered.

Andrew: Send them an e-mail.

Ben: Tell them MuggleCast sent you.

Andrew: Yeah.

Listener Rebuttal: Time

Andrew: Okay, well last week, everyone might remember that we had a great – it was a pretty good discussion on time.

Kevin: It was pretty good. I think we hurt people’s heads.

Andrew: We did. We got a lot of feedback.

Ben: I was gone. How many times did Andrew sing, [sings]

Andrew: Just once.

Kevin: Just once, yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] I did it for you, and then I had a little moment because you weren’t there to sing it with me.

Ben: Awww.

Andrew: It’s really touching. [laughs]

Laura: How sad.

Andrew: Anyway, we got some lengthy rebuttals. We’re going to read two of them now. One from BD, of Alabama, age is 27.

“On the subject of time – [imitates Kevin] Kevin is right. In linear time…”

Ben: About time.

Andrew: [laughs] …if someone goes back in time to change an event, then it creates a paradox. If someone wants to change an event by going back in time, and they have time travel at their disposal, they would go back in time and change the event. Now here comes the paradox; if the event has changed and all the following events were changed, why would the time traveler want to go back and change an event in the first place after the event was changed?” [laughs].

Kevin: It’s true.

Andrew: [continues reading] “In other words, the time traveler would not have any reason to go back in time to change the event, so how did it get changed? Now, if you’re still reading this, I would like to point out that this is one of JK Rowling’s more brilliant ideas in the Prisoner of Azkaban. The events that were changed by Harry and Hermione had already happened in their timeline. Buckbeak and Sirius escaped before Harry and Hermione went back in time, and they had already helped them to do it. We never saw Buckbeak executed in the book. Harry, Ron, and Hermione assumed that McNair cut off his head, but we actually saw him cut into a pumpkin. Harry and Hermione did not change anything, they did what was done. They just did not know we actually saw him cut…” [stumbles]


[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: “They just did not know what was done which gave them a reason to go back in time and change it. Also it would be just like Dumbledore to know exactly how Buckbeak escaped when he suggested to Hermione that they could save two lives. Keep up the good work, love the show.”

That was long.

Eric: Yes, but there’s a flaw in that, which is the Harry seeing Harry across the lake and thinking it was his father because initially there would’ve had to be someone to start off that chain reaction. Like the first time Harry went back to make him see somebody across the lake and then do something.

Kevin: Yeah, but that goes into the paradox.

Laura: Yeah, but…

Kevin: It falls into a loop.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, but

Ben: An infinite loop, right Kevin?

Kevin: Right.

Eric: I’m of the… I’m of the liking that when you go back in time it strays. Stray paradoxes, such as Back to the Future. How timelines change based on different events, if you alter…

Kevin: Yeah, like… Yes.

Eric: I don’t think it’s just one. I think time itself is comprised of a bazillion different dimensions and every little choice, every little difference that we can make in the world, creates an alternate, separate but different…

Kevin: Scenario.

Eric: …universe. And then that’s just like we’re traveling through time by going through all these things. It’s really cool. Watch Sliders, by the way, it’s this old show on Fox.

Listener Rebuttal: Time, Part Two

Ben: Let’s go to James. Let’s go to James. Let’s see what James, 105, of Baton Rouge has to say.

Andrew: That’s pretty old. Are you going to read it?

Ben: I’ll read it.

The whole time discussion was a bit convoluted. I think you should imagine time from each individual as a string. For the trio, set each string on a very long table and have an inch equal an hour. I know they’d be very long strings, but we’ll focus on the end of Year Three. Since Ron has never traveled back through time, his string would be perfectly straight. Since Harry has ever only ever gone back two hours, his would be interrupted and folded back so that there would be two inches overlapped. That is to say there would be two inches where the string was doubled. So yes, Harry would be in two places during two hours. Hermione would have that effect multiple times during the school year, since the whole idea of a Time-Turner was so she could take classes that occurred at the same time. She would have to be in two places at the same time, several times per week. So her string would be folded over in several places. As a matter of fact, if she used the Time-Turner to go back two hours each school day, that would be ten hours a week, and assuming a 44 week school year, four weeks for each summer and Christmas, she…”

Sorry I’m burping here.

“…would have aged an extra 440 hours. So, at the end of the school year she would be older by about two and a half weeks compared to if she had never touched a Time-Turner.”

Eric: So basically, it’s not even worth celebrating Hermione Granger’s birthday anymore. Because she was hitting that Time-Turner, or if you do celebrate it’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but it doesn’t – it doesn’t change the fact that it is on that day.

Eric: Huh?

Kevin: Well, her birthday is on that day.

Eric: Well, that’s true, that’s true, the birthday…

Ben: I’m confused what they’re saying. How would it make her older?

Eric: That’s true, yeah. No.

Ben: Because she was alive twice during that time?

Eric: It means – yeah, it’s still her birthday. Birth day.

Kevin: The method that person’s using to, like, judge time is from like an external observer. Like someone observing someone externally. But because everyone’s within that environment it doesn’t bode well for if you’re trying to track time and you’re a participant within the world or within that area.

Eric: So what theory did they use? Which extrapolation method? If you…

Kevin: That, that – what they’re just saying is to count how old the person is.

Eric: Yeah.

Kevin: It’s not really based on what stream of time they’re in because we’re all within the same…

Eric: I know it. I just kind of got an idea of the Greek; the three ladies with the scissors. The – what were they? The seers or whoever.

Laura: The Fates?

Eric: Yeah, the Fates, of course, the Fates! Who cut your string and determine when you are going to die. And in Hercules they sing and they dance. And…

Kevin: Nice.

Eric: …that’s it.

Andrew: It was just an interesting way that James put it, I think, using the strings because it’s an easier way to demonstrate. Basically, Ben, you asked earlier, what are they saying by how she aged earlier. When she’s going back in time, she has to relive up to the point where she originally went back in time. So she’s still aging. Her aging does not stop. Follow?

Ben: Oh, I see what you are saying.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: I got you.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: We did mention a problem with this last show, where if you go
back in time too far you won’t have enough time to catch up before you die.

Eric: [laughs] Of old age?

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Of old age. So…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …You know, the repercussions of that.

Andrew: We’ll get to some more rebuttals later.

Ben: That’s weird. It’s all confusing.

Andrew: It is.

Ben: I’m going to time travel.

Kevin: I got so many emails about people saying we made their head hurt.

Eric: Yeah, and it was an episode without me.

Laura: There were actually people who didn’t like the show. There were
people who thought that we went in too many circles.

Andrew: Really?

Ben: Well, that’s time travel for you.

Eric: Time is circular.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: History repeats itself, get used to it.

Main Discussion: The Department of Mysteries

Andrew: Let’s get into our main discussion now. I think this might be the final part of our Department of Mysteries discussion.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: It’s basically a wrap-up of everything else that we did not discuss already, between time and the Veil.

Laura: Well, we talked about, as Andrew said, the Veil and time which I think were the two biggest things that were focused on during the Department of Mysteries chapters. But there were a lot of other little things in there that I think a lot of people are wondering about.

Ministry Access Too Easy?

The first of which is why was it so easy for Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and the Death Eaters to get into the ministry that night. There was no security. Why was that? Harry even noted that he felt ominous that there was no security; he felt there should have been. Why was there no one in the Ministry that night?

Ben: So JK Rowling could write a story.

Andrew: Well what gets me…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Closed for writing session.

Laura: Okay…

Ben: No, no okay, if you were to as JK Rowling this question, and I was just being a wisenheimer [pauses], like usual.

Andrew: Oh, Ben, you are a wisenheimer.

Laura: Which you are so often.

Ben: I am such a wisenheimer.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: The reason there was no security; maybe they were distracted with something else. Hmmm.

Laura: Like what?

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Andrew: But the entire Ministry of Magic?

Ben: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: But it’s not the entire Ministry. It’s somewhat of a workplace. So, I mean go into any of your financial buildings at twelve midnight and you’re going to find maybe three or four people there. A security guard…

Andrew: The janitor.

Kevin: The janitors.

Ben: Right, right.

Kevin: Maybe the person staying late…

Ben: But this is different, though.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is the fabled Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: This is not the lobby at the Ministry of Magic. This is…

Andrew: Well, that’s the thing that got me. They were able to just go into the elevator and select Department of Mysteries.

Laura: And then just open the door and go in.

Andrew: And they go in.

Laura: Yeah, there was no one guarding it.

Andrew: It’s like even at hotels, exclusive rooms you need a key card to get in. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I was always under the impression there were preparations made by Death Eaters to arrange that.

Eric: Yeah, because they’re waiting for him.

Laura: Yeah but how’d they do that?

Eric: Well, they have contacts. Lucius Malfoy…

Kevin: Oh I’m sure.

Eric: It’s not like he would pay…

Kevin: Through curses. Yeah I mean…

Laura: What do you think that Malfoy paid off…

Eric: No it’s…

Laura: Whatever, that Eric guy to leave, the security guy.

Kevin: Or put him under a curse.

Andrew: Not paid off.

Eric: Or did something, I mean I’m not saying he paid off…

Ben: The Death Eaters arrived first, correct?

Laura: Yes.

Eric: Well, they were waiting for Harry.

Ben: Okay, well maybe it’s a case like we saw in Sorcerer’s
, where Quirrell pretty much cleared the pathway for Harry to get to the final area, maybe the Death Eaters had already taken care of the security measures, and made it – because, you know, their goal was to lure Harry into the Ministry of Magic, and if there’s extraneous or extra security, then it’s going to be more difficult for them to do it. So…

Laura: Yeah, but it’s still the Department of Mysteries. How were they able to just walk into it?

Eric: Also, remember they are Voldemort and they can’t let the Ministry see Voldemort, or whatever, so they have to protect themselves too. But, no, that’s not the example I want to use. Was it even midnight, guys? I was under the impression that everybody was just out at lunch, or…

Everyone: No!

Andrew: It wasn’t during the afternoon.

Laura: It was night time.

Eric: Because… Are you sure?

Kevin: Yeah, they were talking about…

Andrew: The sun was rising.

Laura: The sun was rising when Harry…

Andrew: When he got into…

Laura: …got back to Dumbledore’s office.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: So, it took place during the night.

Eric: Well, okay, but I was under the impression that everybody was wandering back into the lobby right after, you know, the whole fight occurred.

Laura: No, Harry heard people…

Eric: As if coming back from lunch.

Laura: Yeah, he said he heard people going to breakfast and he couldn’t believe that people were still enjoying a meal knowing what he’d just been through.

Andrew: Mhm. Yeah.

Eric: Well, that was the next day. I mean at – in the lobby, right after the fountain, you know, exploded, Fudge was like, “Oooh, look the fountain. Yes, I saw him too.” But then people were kind of wandering back in like, “What just happened here?” Like, “Where were they?”

Laura: Well, that was… [laughs] Well, that was because…

Eric: It’s not that…

Laura: …by the time, by the time…

Kevin: They had got alerted by that point.

Laura: Exactly! By the time all this was happening, the Aurors had already been alerted [laughs].

Kevin: They had been monitoring this place, figuring out the…

Ben: Don’t you think the Aurors would be, you know, guarding the Department of Mysteries? Especially…

Laura: Exactly. Why was no one there? And why were they able to just open a door and walk in?

Eric: Maybe all the…

Andrew: But then…

Eric: No. Wasn’t the Auror on guard in Voldemort’s circle or something?

Laura: Ummm…

Eric: One of them. He could’ve just stepped aside and let them in. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a big issue.

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: There was no one there, though.

Kevin: I was always under the impression that they had taken
preparations beforehand.

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: They had placed a couple people under a curse…

Andrew: Right. Right.

Kevin: …and made it so that come X hour, leave or get lost.

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: And then they can just stroll in.

Eric: Laura, are you even…

Kevin: Those people who are guarding the place are also the same people

Ben: That’s the only logical explanation.

Kevin: Yeah, I mean.

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I suppose.

Ben: Voldemort may have… Of course Voldemort, you know… Voldemort has insiders
in the Ministry, so he may have – probably in the Department of
Mysteries too. So, he may have had someone come on either…

Kevin: Yeah. They’re resourceful people.

Ben: Well, yeah, they are.

Kevin: It’s not like they don’t know what they’re doing.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: I don’t know about the elevator, though. Because…

Laura: Yeah, and just the fact that they were able to walk into the
Ministry like there was no – it wasn’t locked, for instance. They walked
into the phone booth and they just said, “We’re here to save Sirius,”
and it prints them off these little badges that say Rescue Mission.

Andrew: Rescue Mission.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, one door was locked, [laughs] and that brings us to…

Laura: Well, actually…

Andrew: No. It just seemed like the only security was when they got
into the circular room…

Eric: Well, put it this way.

Andrew: …where the doors are staying.

Eric: There’s a 100,000 people, say, work at the Ministry or
whatever or however big it is – however they choose how big it is. They
all have to get through the lobby and get where they’re going. I
approve of the idea of like a club card for getting into the Department of
Mysteries, but remember it’s also on the same floor as Department of
Mysteries. There’s what, the old chambers for trial?

Laura: The courtrooms.

Eric: And isn’t there Arthur Weasley’s office?

Laura: But they aren’t used, really, anymore.

Eric: I don’t know.

Laura: No, and Arthur’s office is not there.

Eric: It’s not there? I…

Laura: No it is not.

Eric: I’m all aflutter.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: But you’d think that – you think that even though you can still
get up there, that there’d be at least someone guarding the door.

Laura: [laughs] Exactly.

Eric: I don’t know.

Andrew: Well that’s…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s…

Andrew: The Death Eaters would take that guy out.

Kevin: Exactly.

Why No Order Presence?

Laura: But what’s interesting to me is why didn’t the Order have anyone
there? Because we know that Arthur had been guarding that place, so
clearly they’d been taking precautions to guard the Department of

Kevin: Yeah, but I mean count how many Death Eaters were there.

Laura: Sure.

Kevin: Do you think one person would stand a chance against all those
Death Eaters?

Laura: Well, no. But still why wasn’t…

Kevin: They may have not been mentioned…

Eric: Dumbledore would.

Laura: anyone there?

Kevin: …but I’m fairly sure that there was some protection, and they
just bypassed it through either cursing the person, or…

Ben: Right. But with a place this important – it’s like when a robber
goes and sticks up a convenience store or a bank. There’s always the
button that alerts the police under the table. You know? You think…

Kevin: Yeah, but that’s what I’m saying. For…

Ben: …if someone’s getting taken out, wouldn’t they have a way to alert
other people?

Eric: Voldemort and Harry Potter both needed to get into the Department
of Mysteries. They’re the two strongest forces throughout this entire
book series. Did they really need to try?

Kevin: No, it’s not – it’s not that.

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: It’s that the people who are guarding that type of place and who have access to that
place are going to be the people they’re going to curse and have remove – have to remove the security.

Eric: Voldemort’s been concentrating on this Department of Mysteries
for the entire year. The Order knows it.

Kevin: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Eric: The Order has been…

Kevin: He’s pretty resourceful.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: So why didn’t we hear about anyone in the Order being cursed
when they were trying to protect the Department of Mysteries? That’s what
I’m saying.

Eric: That other guy was.

Laura: If anyone – I know. But if anyone had been there that night,
then we would have heard about them being cursed as well, unless they flew
the coop when they realized what was going on.

Kevin: Well you know Mr. Weasley was guarding it, right?

Laura: Yes.

Kevin: Okay. Well, what if Mr. Weasley – they obviously found Mr. Weasley
there very injured. Now the Order – not the Order, but the Ministry, goes
“What were you doing there after hours? Why were you there?” Okay? So
now they have just blown their cover, making it impossible for them to
put another person there because it’s going to get highly suspicious…

Laura: But didn’t they…

Kevin: …to the Ministry.

Eric: Kind of like…

Laura: Didn’t they cover it up?

Andrew: Yeah, didn’t Dumbledore say… Didn’t Dumbledore say they made
up an excuse for it?

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Andrew: I’m pretty sure he did.

Laura: Because Sirius…

Kevin: Well, even then. I mean…

Eric: Even if they have an excuse, people are going to turn their eye.

Kevin: For all you know, Arthur was the only one who had the
possibility of having access to that area without suspicion.

Andrew: Right. If everyone else is sitting down there, it would look

Kevin: Exactly. So the Order probably – that was their last form of
defense, and it got blown by him getting injured.

Eric: Attacked by the snake, yeah.

Kevin: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Good job, Arthur.

Eric: And that’s why… No, that’s not Arthur’s fault. That was
Voldemort’s plan.

Andrew: And that technically did blow their cover because Arthur
couldn’t go there again and sit down there.

Eric: That’s right, because…

Laura: Well no, obviously not him.

Kevin: So right there you have your explanation for why…

Andrew: Yeah.

Kevin: …there wasn’t an Order member there.

Andrew: Good point, Kevin, good point!

Laura: It just seems odd to me, though, that there wouldn’t be some sort of
security on it anyway. Like even when our…

Kevin: But that’s what I’m saying.

Laura: Even when Arthur was there, though. Why isn’t there some sort of
security on this place 24/7?

Eric: Well, another thing, Laura. Remember, everybody’s under the
impression that everything is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Voldemort’s
not back, what do we have to protect ourselves from?

Laura: Yeah, that’s true.

Kevin: Yep.

Eric: That’s a strong mindset of everybody. Strong mindset.

Brain Room

Laura: Well, the next thing that we should probably move on to is
whenever they enter the Department of Mysteries, the first thing they come
across is the brain room. And we saw that Ron got attacked by one of the
brains when he yelled “Accio Brain,” which I found kind of amusing.
[laughs] But Madam Pomfrey said that “thoughts can leave deeper
scarring than almost anything else.” Now are we talking physically, or does
he have some kind of mental scarring? Because it doesn’t seem to me
like Jo would kind of drop that little hint for no reason.

Ben: I think it has to be mental, because…

Kevin: Yeah. Definitely.

Eric: No, it’s very physical too.

Ben: How could a thought harm you physically?

Laura: Well, no, she’s talking about how he had scars on his arms from
where they had wrapped themselves around him.

Eric: When they had wrapped around. And, yeah. It’s not just emotional

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: I think that’s very physical. Thoughts too.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re not just memories.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: They’re thoughts trapped in the brains that had made them. It’s kind of like – if a person passes away, they have all these memories of, you know, everywhere they’ve been in their life, different life experiences.

Laura: Well, yeah. The mind’s very powerful.

Eric: But nobody can see them! How can you retrieve those thoughts?
They’re gone with that person, they’re exact things. But trapped in this brain
room, in these things, all these thoughts – maybe it’s all the hateful
thoughts that, you know? But all these thoughts are trapped in this juicy
brain that’s going to come out and lash at you, and I don’t know. She
said that it was thoughts that were attacking him, and I would think
that would have a strict physical impact too. Because have you ever had
thoughts come at you? [laughs] I mean, how would…

Laura: Well actually, a good example, a good example of it is, have
you ever heard of when people die, the…

Eric: Never heard of that.

Laura: …electricity that… [laughs] Eric!

Eric: Sorry, it was just a question.

[Kevin laughs]

Laura: When people die, it has been accounted that the electricity
released from their brains has been powerful enough to stop clocks.

Eric: So when their…

Laura: So that it stops the clock at the exact time of their death. So I think it goes
to show that thoughts could be powerful enough to physically harm someone as well as mentally. My question is, does Ron posses those thoughts now? Does he have memories from the brain that attacked him that at one time belonged to someone else?

Kevin: I doubt it.

Eric: I doubt it.

Ben: But how do we know where those brains come from? I mean…

Laura: Well, yeah. Exactly.

Ben: It seems to me like each part of the Ministry has it’s own – each
part of the Department of Mysteries studies its own things. There’s the
death, love, all of that stuff. So, what do you think they’re studying?
What do you think they’re studying – are they studying thoughts, or what are

Laura: They’re studying the mind, I believe.

Ben: Or memories, or what?

Laura: I mean, there’s a huge – the mind was a huge theme in Order
of the Phoenix
. I mean, just because of Harry’s Occlumency lessons.

Ben: And the mind is a mystery too. So…

Laura: Yeah, and Snape essentially told Harry that the mind is not…

Eric: An open book.

Laura: …a book to be opened and read at will. It’s got to be studied
very, very closely, I suppose. Differently. And I don’t know how
exactly they came across these brains, if they just yanked them out of dead
people’s heads or what.

Eric: Well, what did… [laughs] What did – crap, I forgot
my question.

Laura: What did they…

Eric: Wasn’t Ron already delusional? Wasn’t he already kind of messed up when
the brain started attacking him?

Kevin: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, he’d been cursed by a Death Eater. And I thought that was
interesting because the reaction that he has is sort of similar to the
reaction Dumbledore has from drinking the green potion in Half-Blood
. They were both kind of delusional and out of it, and both
started saying, you know, “No, no, stop it, Harry,” and trying to get
Harry to help them, and Harry couldn’t in those scenarios.

Eric: Well, whereas nothing was attacking Dumbledore visibly, but a
brain, [laughs] a giant brain with thoughts was lashing at Ron.

Laura: It doesn’t matter, though!

Eric: It does!

Laura: It’s still facts, though.

Eric: True. It’s a brilliant parallel. I think it’s cool.

Laura: And this is why I’m kind of – I don’t know. I just kind of
wonder if Ron somehow has some sort of important memory that will play a
role in Book Seven? Something that Harry needs to know?

Eric: I don’t think that’s it at all.

Laura: Because…

Eric: You know…

Laura: Why not, though?

Eric: “Where’d you learn this, Ron?” “Oh, it was when that brain
attacked me. I learned all this stuff that I’ve just had…”

Laura: Well, no. [laughs]

Eric: “…sitting around in my head for two years.”

Kevin: Yeah. And didn’t mention it.

Eric: Yeah, I didn’t mention it.

Laura: It wouldn’t be like that. It would – but it almost seems like
there are a lot of things that happened at the end of Order of the
that we didn’t hear anything about in Half-Blood

Eric: It’s true. It’s true. But we did hear…

Ben: Like hat about the guy who turned into a baby? What kind of crap is
that? I still don’t get that.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: His head.

Andrew: The Death Eater? Yeah.

Eric: His head was de-aging, and then aging again. That was pretty
messed up.

Andrew: We talked about that last week.

Eric: “You can’t hurt a baby!” But no. The whole idea, and why I
brought that up is because I just think that when Ron was in the hospital
ward, he was clearly getting remedies for that curse, and I think it was
just all washed off. I think that the thoughts, all the trauma from the thoughts.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: I don’t think…

Kevin: I think there would be some residue.

Laura: There was going to be something left there.

Eric: But thoughts?

Kevin: There’s got be something in his head.

Eric: You’ve got to look at the way the brain was in contact with Ron. The thoughts were burning into his skin and stuff, and lashing at him, and grabbing him; but it didn’t really do any – we didn’t see it affect his mind. He was just really under that other curse and he was really scared.

Laura: Not that we know of. [laughs]

Kevin: We don’t know; that’s a point. We don’t know of anything happening to his mind, but they alluded to it.

Laura: We only see – yeah. We only see the world through Harry’s eyes, so we can’t sit here and say, “I know what’s going on in Ron’s mind,” because it’s not from his point of view.

Eric: That’s true. I don’t know that there is much of an argument that that thing really affected him, emotionally or for a long time.

Laura: I don’t know, I just think that the mind is an exceedingly powerful thing.

Eric: Oh, yes.

Laura: It really is.

Eric: Absolutely.

Laura: And I think it’s pretty shortsighted to think that that’s – that you could be attacked by a brain like that and not have any sort of repercussions, physical or mental.

Eric: Well, he had a lot of physical repercussions. He was torn up, it was pretty dirty, but…

Laura: But we didn’t hear that much about that. That’s the thing.

Eric: Which is true.

Laura: It seemed like Madam Pomfrey was going to lengths to cure the scarring as best she could, but she said…

Ben: Well, how do you think all this is going to come full-circle, is what I want to know. I mean, how is that going to play to the…

Eric: Ummm, Ben? I hate to let you down: We don’t know. [laughs]

Ben: I know, that’s why I said how do you “think,” okay? No reason to be a smart aleck.

Eric: I don’t mean to.

Ben: I’m the wisenheimer here, okay? I’m just kidding.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Ben: What I’m saying is, I don’t know how – think about all the stuff she has to incorporate. Something like that…

Laura: Yeah, there’s a lot.

Ben: …seems like it is going to go to the wayside just because she doesn’t have – I mean, unless it’s really pivotal. It’s interesting. What did he get from the Department of Mysteries? But the fact that it went ignored in Book Six and nothing really was carried through. You think if Ron had some thought that was essential that it would somehow get mentioned.

Andrew: Stood out?

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: It would’ve happened by now.

Laura: Well, I don’t know because if you think back on all the books, there have been tons of little things that no one thought anything of at the time. And then a couple of books later that thing becomes huge. There are probably hundreds of little clues in Half-Blood Prince that we all missed. Just little things. Little things that people have said, descriptions about the way someone looked or where someone went.

Eric: Yes, but when have we seen Ron distribute any kind of extra knowledge than he would have by being his slightly cynical self?

Laura: I don’t think – I don’t know. The thing is, I think if something like that were to happen she would try to draw attention away from it during the sixth book, because she drew attention away from the Department of Mysteries.

Eric: She drew attention away from everything.

Laura: Exactly, because there is clearly something kind of big going on. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] There’s no doubting it’s plausible that Ron has some thoughts from this thing, I just don’t think it’s likely.

Whose Brains Are In The Brain Room?

Andrew: And whose brains get into the Brain Room?

Laura: That’s what I was going to say. If he does have someone’s thoughts, are we going to find out whose brains these are?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Maybe they saved James’ and Lily’s brain and then…

Laura: Ewww.

Eric: …and then Ron can tell Harry where Godric’s Hollow is.

Ben: I almost think it’s like kind of the case where you have people who donate their bodies to science. Wouldn’t it be the same thing if you donate your brain?

Eric: To the Ministry of Magic? [laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Laura: [laughs] And then they donate their bodies to be thrown into the Veil to see what happens to them, Ben?

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: I’m going to wear my – I’m going to get a t-shirt.

Andrew: I would.

Ben: Well, how else would they do it? Would they just randomly choose people? Or…

Andrew: [laughs] Off the street.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] Do they just say, “Your brain is mine!” and you die? Or…

[Laura and Kevin laugh]

Ben: No, it isn’t like they can…

Laura: Well, what if they take unclean bodies or something like that?

Eric: John Does of the world.

Ben: Well, that’s really pleasant.

Eric: What if you went up to…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Unclean bodies. [laughs]

Laura: Well, hey! They did that for that exhibit with all the dead bodies which I went and saw in Vegas. It was actually pretty cool.

Eric: Guys, what if you went up to anybody on the street and just said, “Accio Brain!” [laughs] What would happen?

Andrew: I don’t think their brain would…

Ben: Fly out of their head.

Kevin: Pop out of their head or their body.

Andrew: I don’t know, I don’t know.

Ben: I think they’d laugh at you.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Either way, one thing’s for certain…

Andrew: Like how people laughed at you when you walked through New York City in your cloak.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: They didn’t laugh. They were awed, and you guys were all jealous.

Laura: Oooh, burned.

Andrew: They were awed. Right.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Ben: They see there is so much diversity in New York City it’s normal for them.

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: It’s a normal thing.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: That’s exciting, but I’m definitely going to get a t-shirt, since we’re talking about this, that says, “I donated my brain to the Ministry of Magic because they needed one.”

Laura: That’s…nice.

Ben: You have to have a brain to donate. So…

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Pickle of Shame. Oooh.

Kevin: Oooh.

What Makes Eric’s Brain Worthy?

Laura: Well, Eric, Eric, what would make your brain worthy? [laughs] I’m not trying to insult you.

Eric: Of the Ministry of Magic?

[Andrew, Ben, and Laura laugh]

Eric: Perhaps it won’t be, you’re incredibly correct, Laura.

Laura: No, no, no, I’m kind of…

Eric: Maybe they would refuse it. Maybe my dying wishes would be for the Ministry to have my brain, and they wouldn’t want it…

[Laura laughs]

Eric: …and they would just throw it away.

Laura: I’m kind of alluding to what would…

Eric: Specifications?

Laura: …be the requirements? Yeah! What would…

Eric: I would think it would be anybody they could get. I mean, learned professors, obviously, they would want, like Nicholas Flamel.

Kevin: Willing to, yeah.

Eric: Maybe Nicholas Flamel? Maybe they could have asked him to donate his mind to the think tank, which is the brain bath.

Ben: Think tank. [laughs] That’s literally what it is.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: The brain thing…tub…brains.

Ben: The brain tub.

Eric: They would want to get him if they were studying the mind, but I think they would also try and get lower of minds. Perhaps like mine, just to judge the diversity of minds.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Isn’t it true you need brains of all sizes, and all shapes, and all – to do a real study?

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Andrew: To do a real study of them?

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: You need brains of all types of capacity.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Eric: Yes.

Laura: For intelligence.

Eric: That’s what I mean. But who knows? Maybe the Ministry wouldn’t want my brain.

Kevin: I would think it would be more of a…

Ben: I think that if you donated it…

Kevin: …donation kind of thing.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Because it’s not like now.

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies…

Kevin: It’s unethical to…

Ben: The unclaimed bodies you’re talking about…

Kevin: Yeah.

Ben: …are homeless people they found dead in the alley, you know?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, right.

Ben: The exhibit in Vegas.

Eric: Can you imagine the UPS guy? “I got a delivery of brains for C.O. Fudge.”

Laura: [laughs] Damon.

[Andrew fake laughs]

Eric: C.O. Fudge? Delivery of brains? “Just dump them in the think tank there.”

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah.

Ben: [laughs] Quit calling it the think tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s a good name! Is that not a good name?

Ben: [laughs] That is a good name, but it sounded so goofy.

Back To The Scarring

Andrew: So, anyway, I don’t know. Back to Madam Pomfrey.

Laura: I think we’re…

Andrew: It just seemed, “Thoughts can leave deeper scarring than almost anything else.” Maybe she’s just saying in general.

Kevin: Yeah, but it’s…

Andrew: Your thoughts, your personal thoughts.

Kevin: It sort of alludes to her talking not only physical scarring.

Laura: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.

Andrew: I just don’t see how they can transfer to your body because it’s a brain. It doesn’t really make sense.

Eric: Yeah, she didn’t really say…

Laura: It touched your body.

Andrew: So?

Laura: It’s magic, though.

Ben: Right, but see, there is something different, though – something different, though. Dumbledore stressed the importance of how death isn’t it. How if you look to the bad side, the evil side in Harry Potter, that’s what they’re concerned most about. The good side is always concerned about sacrifice, and what is the best thing that I can do to benefit humankind in general. As opposed to, I’m going to be selfish and worry about myself dying. So, it seems to me like the physical sense – it applies physically because he has the scars or whatever, but I think mentally it makes more sense because…

Kevin: It does, yeah.

Ben: …your thoughts. Look to Harry and Voldemort. Maybe she was saying something that meant a lot more than she knew, you? Because…

Laura: You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to…

Ben: …the thoughts have deeper scarring than anything else. Look at Voldemort sent those thoughts into Harry’s brain, and the next thing we know, Harry shows up at the Ministry of Magic, Sirius dies, Ron gets hurt. All these bad things happen.

Eric: Yeah. Exactly, exactly.

Ben: So, I think that is the deeper scarring happening.

Eric: When Dumbledore talks about how life – death is not the worst thing, he’s actually talking about the scarring of the soul that Voldemort’s gotten. There’s a lot of soul stuff. That’s all the references there with impartial souls.

Laura: Mhm. Well, what he’s basically saying is that Voldemort, the life that he has given himself now, is actually worse than what he’s fearing.

Eric: Oh yeah, absolutely. But the thought of thoughts is what Ben eventually said, which was, you know, my opinion, which is: The thoughts drive the mind. You said the mind was a great, big theme in Order of the Phoenix. Well, the mind controls the people and the people do the evil. The people do – they change history, and this is all about people. The mind is the most powerful thing because it drives you, and thoughts – and if you think that Mudbloods are worthless, it’s everything. It ties into literally everything. It’s untraceable where this is going.

Sidenote: Episode 60

Andrew: By the way, guys, I forgot to mention this at the beginning of the show. 60 episodes.

Laura: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: Oh, yeah. Wow.

Andrew: 60 episodes.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: Good job, boys and girls.

Eric: Not too shabby.

Andrew: No, not at all. It’s an impressive number.

Laura: I think it’s time for us to start thinking about retirement.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: You have…

Andrew: Apply for Medicare in a few years.

Laura: Dentures.

[Kevin laughs]

Ben: Well, Social Security is almost gone – run out. So…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: And we dumped our own fund on Lumos.

Andrew: Yep.

Eric: All our retirement funds were spent on going to Los Angeles.

Andrew: On Lumos. Anyway, here’s to 60 more. It’s a big number, 60.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Well, it’s not as big as 61.

Andrew: What have we been talking about all this time?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: How did we come up with – You know that’s the number one thing I get asked by people who don’t listen to the show.

Ben: “What do you talk about?” Yeah, same here.

Andrew: “What do…” Exactly!

Kevin: “What do you keep talking about?” Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. We have had a discussion every week. Whether it was Chapter-by-Chapter, or Character Discussion, or something like this.

Chapter-By-Chapter Return?

Ben: I keep getting e-mails. “Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back? Is Chapter-by-Chapter coming back?”

Eric: Yeah, guys. Should we lay that down?

Andrew: Should we settle this?

Ben: Yeah. I think Chapter-by-Chapter should come back eventually because we’re going to run out of things to talk about and in order to – what’s the word I’m looking for – preserve the longevity of MuggleCast, we’ll need something that is going to do that.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: I don’t know. I don’t want you guys to just strategically pull it out of your pocket when we’re short on episode stuff. We did talk – we did have a meeting about this.

Andrew: Well, that’s the plan, so…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: We have been getting a lot of e-mails about this, and we haven’t really brought it up because we didn’t want to upset anyone who is really missing it. [laughs] But we did talk about this. We had a lengthy discussion about this in L.A.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Well, I had a lengthy discussion.

Laura: It was very lengthy.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’re going to hold off on it for now. But it’ll come back. Just not right now.

Back to Discussion: The Love Room

Laura: The next room that they encountered was the Love Room, which was locked. They couldn’t get into it. How would a room contain the power of love?

Eric: [sings] It’s the power of love!

Andrew: The Black Eyed Peas song, “Where is the Love?” plays when you walk in.

Eric: [sings] Da-da-da.

Andrew: [sings] Where is the love…?

Ben: [laughs] And there’s a sign that points, “Over here.”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: No.

[Everyone continues laughing]

Laura: So, if they open the door, would there just be [laughs] this blinding light – power of love – that would spill out of the room?

Eric: Yes!

Laura: Or is it – okay, how do you contain something like love behind a door?

Eric: Okay, think of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Have you seen the movie? Have you all seen Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark? Of course.

Laura: Yes. [laughs]

Eric: At the end of the move, the Ark of the Covenant breaks open and the big white light comes out and everybody has to – well, Indie has to close his eyes because the thing is, the sight is too holy for anybody to see it without their faces getting ripped off.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Laura: So, you’re saying it’s so great, it’s so wonderful.

Eric: It’s – yeah. Dumbledore himself said…

Laura: [laughs] That it would rip Harry’s face off?

Eric: No, no, not Harry’s.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Eric: And that’s very important. But it is locked because, well, Dumbledore himself said it needs to be measured in certain quantities and it’s just of a really big magnitude or something. Dumbledore said something exactly like that about – maybe you need to see, maybe you need to wear a smoked glass mask like a welder’s mask to go into it. I mean, I don’t know, but I’m saying it’s locked because my guess…

Laura: Well, it melted Harry’s knife.

Eric: My guess is that the large majority of people would not be able to handle that room. No. As for containing the power of love in that room, I have no clue, but it is the Ministry of Magic and if a love – if a concentration of love would be somewhere intelligent for study, it should be there. I don’t know.

The Definition of Love

Laura: It just seems like how do you – people can’t even come up with a definition for love, so how do you contain it?

Ben: If you ask some high-schoolers it’s…

Eric: Well, no, I don’t think…

Ben: …you’ve been dating somebody for two days…

Laura: [sings] What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

Ben: And, “Oh my god, I’m so in love!”

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: No, exactly.

Ben: I think I love Subway more than most high-schoolers love their boyfriend or girlfriend.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Eric: No, Laura. I think – no, you don’t need to understand what love is to contain it. That’s not…

Ben: That reminds me of a song.

Eric: That goes against science. You…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: [sings] “I want to know what love is…”

[Eric sings guitar riff]

Ben: [sings] “…I want you to show me.”

Laura: No, shut up.

Eric: No, seriously.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You contain things so that you can study them. You trap an insect – a lightning bug – to see what it does. It’s almost like you know how to catch it before you know what it is you have. That’s true about everything.

Laura: Okay, Eric. How do you catch love?

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey, lovey.

Ben: It’s like a firefly.

Eric: Here, lovey, lovey, lovely, lovey.

Andrew: Guys…

Laura: I’m sorry, but…

Ben: Love bug. Love bug.

Laura: …I just don’t see how it can all – like you can just open a door and there’s love in the air.

Eric: All I’m saying is you don’t…

Laura: [laughs] That’s kind of messed up.

Andrew: I think – you know, guys, hold on, hold on.

Eric: You don’t need to be the most educated person in the world and know all about the facets of love. You just need to know how to capture it. And a lot of people who want to capture things just need to know – learn how to catch it.

Ben: Love is… Love is… Okay, love is intangible. There is no such things as, like, “Oh look, watch guys, you caught the love bug!”

Laura: It doesn’t… This doesn’t have to relate to “love” because I know Ben was making fun of teenagers in love. But anytime in any of your lives that you have ever been attracted to somebody, did you just look at that person and say, “I think I want to be attracted to this person”? No, it just happens. It just happens out of the blue. You can’t control it. So how do you…

Ben: Well what kind of attraction are you talking? Physical or…

Laura: I’m just – I’m talking about just a general attraction, whether it be personality, appearance, whatever. You still have that kind of attraction and you can’t just capture that. You can’t just say, “I have this,” because you have no control over it. It’s the same way with love.

Ben: Like I was saying, love is intangible. It’s not like you can buy love.

Laura: [laughs] So…

Capturing Love

Eric: So, what are we talking about here?

Laura: So, what I’m saying is, Eric, you’re saying you have to know how to capture it…

Eric: No, I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Laura: …but you can’t.

Eric: I’m saying you don’t have to know.

Kevin: But what Laura’s saying is there’s nothing physical that you can actually capture…

Laura: Yeah.

Kevin: …because no one knows what you’re capturing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s magic.

Kevin: You can’t capture something that you don’t know what it is, you know what I’m saying?

Eric: Oh yeah? Voldemort knew – made all his Horcruxes.

Kevin: It’s as though the firefly – in your firefly example it’s as though the firefly was just like pure light. You can’t capture it. Every time you try to grab it, your hand goes through it because you don’t know enough about it to actually create a physical boundary on it.

Eric: True, but Voldemort created seven Horcruxes. Assumably, nobody knew how to do that before him. Maybe he invented it.

Laura: Okay, but a Horcrux is a physical thing.

Eric: Yes, but it’s things along the magic world that very few people know about. It’s the extremes of what you can do to your mortal soul. Or immortal soul, as the case may be.

Laura: Okay, but love isn’t an object.

Eric: Love is everything. Maybe love is like The Force.

[Kevin and Laura laugh]

Kevin: Eric…

Laura: God… [laughs]

Andrew: Laura, how much.. Where does it… Do you have where they talk about the Love Room in here?

Laura: [laughs] The Love Room.

Eric: They don’t talk about the Love Room, it gets mentioned and then it’s like…

Andrew: Yeah. Where it’s mentioned.

Laura: No, basically, Dumbledore said that – he didn’t specifically call it the “Love Room.”

Eric: He says, “there is a room in the Department of Mysteries that contains a force…” something.

Laura: He said, “it contains the power that you have in such great quantities that Voldemort detests.”

Eric: Yeah. “Love?”

Andrew: Ooooh…

Eric: He’s like, “Yes, essentially it’s love.”

Why is the Love Room Locked?

Laura: Okay, but here’s my question: Why is the Love Room locked?

Eric: Because, I said, a lot of people can’t handle that much love.

Laura: Okay, this isn’t Raiders or whatever, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Kevin: Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Why is it not?

Laura: This is Harry Potter.

Eric: No, it’s the same concept.

Laura: Because!

Eric: It’s the same concept!

Laura: Okay, is Indiana Jones in these books? No.

Eric: If it’s a love…

Kevin: No, but, but, Eric…

[Laura laughs]

Kevin: Your chain of thought is flawed in the fact that if you have a door, it is meant to be opened and, therefore, you can view it – view what’s inside the room.

Eric: If you have the right equipment on.

Kevin: If they could not see – if they could not open that door without being blown away then they would put it in a box that couldn’t be opened. Period.

Eric: Well, obviously, like Pandora’s Box, but anyway…

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, a Death Chamber was easily accessible, but a Love Room isn’t?

[Everyone laughs]

Kevin: See, that’s…

Ben: But it’s like, you can’t really bottle hate.

Laura: [laughs] I feel so bad calling it the “Love Room.”

Andrew: Dumbeldore always emphasizes the power of Lily’s love for him.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: So, okay. So if love has a lot of power…

Eric: Certain people could open that door.

Andrew: …maybe it just shouldn’t be opened. Maybe there’s…

Eric: No, certain people could open that door. But, do you guys agree with me? If Voldemort opened the love door, would he not get blown away? Would he be able to walk into the Love Room?

Ben: I don’t think he could open the love door.

Eric: You don’t think anybody can? Why is it that people are studying it? Dumbledore said it was being studied.

The Effect of the Love Room

Laura: Something that I noticed was that no one else really seemed to be affected by the love door, but Ron was. It said that he was – let me look here.

Eric: Ron?

Laura: Yeah, Ron was. I put it in here somewhere, hang on. It says Ron “looked at it with a mixture of longing and apprehension which no one else seemed to feel.” So, why was it that Ron – he kept saying stuff like, “are you sure we shouldn’t look in there? Are you sure we shouldn’t try?” or whatever. And no one else really seemed to have – it didn’t have that effect on everyone. It was kind of…

Eric: Maybe it’s…

Laura: It was almost similar to the effect that the Veil had on Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Neville.

Eric: Maybe the Love Room is actually the room of brotherly love and nobody has as many brothers as Ron.

Andrew and Kevin: No. [both laugh]

Eric: Except Ginny.

Andrew: Bad.

Laura: Ummm…

Andrew: Bad.

Eric: Maybe he wants Percy back. Maybe Percy’s on the other side.

Laura: No, maybe Hermione was just right next to him in the room.

Eric: That’s where Percy is all of Book Six!

Andrew: This isn’t getting anywhere, so let’s move on.

Who Can Open The Door?

Laura: No, but what I was saying was, Eric mentioned maybe specific people being able to open the door.

Eric: I don’t mean specific people, necessarily, but, like, the trained Unspeakable…

Laura: But what if, for instance…

Eric: …who are in the Department of Mysteries, who are the aficionados for opening that kind of door, viewing that kind of thing, and studying it.

Laura: Okay.

Eric: Like, you need to have a safe environment for work.

Laura: Well, I’m sure, but for instance, it just strikes me as kind of funny that Harry couldn’t open this door that possesses the same kind of power as he does. Now, you brought up certain people being able to open it and Ron didn’t actually try, so what if he could? What if that was, like, explains the attraction that he felt towards it because he would somehow be able to open it.

Ben: [sings] “Close the door…”

Eric: Even if he would be able to open it, I’m pretty sure it would have burned off the faces of everybody else who wasn’t qualified to open it.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: I’m dead serious.

Laura: Okay, I’m pretty sure this isn’t Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Eric: Okay, but…

Kevin: I’m pretty sure that’s not the case.

Eric: But Harry put his…what…Sirius’ key thing…key changer…lock changer…knife…

Andrew: Knife.

Laura: The knife.

Eric: …into the door and it melted. So there’s only one key for that. I think it’s not necessarily even who can open the door.

Laura: Okay…

Andrew: Maybe someone was… [laughs] Hey, guys, maybe someone was cooking something up in there, if you know what I’m saying?

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Because it melted. It’s pretty hot.

Eric: Cooking up some love.

Laura: [laughs] That was kind of creepy.

Andrew: Cooking up some love, yeah?

Eric: The ‘shippers. Hey, I wonder how many fanfics have taken place in the Love Room.

Laura: How many what?

Eric: No, they originate in the Lust Room, never mind. Fanfiction.

Ben: [laughs] The Lust Room.

[Andrew laughs]

Kevin: Oh god.

Laura: Oh my god…

Ben: But at the same time it’s like death. There’s a Death Room. When you open it up, you’re not going to – or if there’s a Hate Room.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: There’s a room devoted to death, where you go after…

Ben: It isn’t like you can bottle hate, I mean.

Andrew: Right.

Ben: You can bottle potions.

Eric: You can bottle fame, brew glory…


Andrew: [laughs] So, about those prophecies.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: 2007.

Andrew: …dot org.

Laura: That was a really crappy entrance. [laughs]

Eric: No, I like that.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: I think that’s the best transition we’ve ever had.

Laura: Okay. We’ve talked about prophecies at length on the show before so I don’t really think we should focus on them for too long. But does anyone think that any other prophecy, aside from Harry’s, is going to play a role in Book Seven?

Ben: Yes. There’s one prophecy where it has an old woman – or an old man and a woman who says, “The solstice will come anew”.

Laura: Those were actually two different prophecies.

Ben: Okay. Two different prophecies, then. “The solstice will come anew,” and “none will come after.” Those two prophecies, like those two lines, were italicized.

Laura: Yeah. They were definitely emphasized. I think they were important.

Eric: Oh! Which lines are these? I missed these.

Laura: You missed something, Eric?

Kevin: Uh-oh.

Eric: No, I didn’t. I didn’t but I’ve been out of the room for a couple episodes so I’m kind of like – what was the second prophecy? That the new will come anew and the new will be not new?

Laura: There was – whenever they smashed some of the prophecies to escape, Harry specifically heard…

Eric: This wasn’t part of the original prophecy. The “none can live when the other survives.”

Laura: No.

Andrew: No. This is a separate prophecy. This is when they were in the Hall of Prophecies.

Laura: You remember when they were stupefying everything to escape, or reducto, whatever they were using?

Andrew: One fell and it opened and it said, “Solstice anew…”

Laura: It said, “At the solstice will come anew.” And then another one broke and then it was a woman saying, “and none will come after.”

Eric: Oh, no. That’s a joke. Because at the solstice…

Laura: What?

Eric: …there came a new. The fifth Harry Potter book came at the solstice. June 21, 2003.

Laura: Okay, but…

Andrew: It’s kind of funny, actually.

Ben: Yeah. I actually freaked out about that. I e-mailed Emerson.

Eric: It’s Book Five that it even says it in. That’s a joke about the book itself.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: That’s an inside joke.

Andrew: [laughs] No, it’s not an inside joke.

Ben: Yeah. Jo’s slapping her knee about that one.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: And there will be seven… And there will be seven and none will come after.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: What are you – okay, Eric. You are one of the…

Andrew: Well actually, that’s kind of interesting. [laughs]

Laura: Eric, you are one of the biggest… Oh my god.

Eric: That’s a Crackpot Theory.

Andrew: Maybe it’s a little Easter egg she left for us.

Eric: A little Easter egg.

Andrew: A little Easter egg.

Eric: Jo does those.

Andrew: Happy Easter!

Eric: I can buy that.

Repercussion For Breaking Prophecies

Laura: Do you guys think – speaking of smashing prophecies – do you think there are any possible repercussions of them breaking all those prophecies? Are those the only records that are left?

Eric: No.

Kevin: No, because I would assume that they were all cataloged, right? They said that they were in, like, an organized system.

Laura: Well…

Eric: Well, actually…

Laura: Yeah, that’s what it was.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: They broke them.

Kevin: So, assuming they’re cataloged, then you would assume that there was some sort of record as to what they said.

Eric: Then again. But, no. No, no, no, no, no. You can’t record.

Andrew: It says in Order of the Phoenix that those were just for the record, or what does it say, Laura?

Eric: But you can’t record what was said..

Laura: Well, those are for the – yeah. Those are only for the record of the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: And the only other people that know what was said were the people who were present and the people who said them.

Eric: Right. Because the Ministry can…

Laura: So, if those people are dead, then that prophecy’s lost.

Andrew: Oooh, I thought…

Kevin: Yep. You’re right.

Eric: Yeah, it is, because the Ministry themselves can’t even hear the prophecies they’re keeping. so I don’t think that there are that many…

Andrew: Are you sure they’re not logged somewhere else?

Laura: This isn’t MuggleNet. No. [laughs] They’re not logged somewhere else. [laughs] What would be the point? I mean, prophecies have…

Andrew: A book.

Laura: No, they have to be protected, though. Especially ones like Harry’s.

Eric: Yeah, but I don’t think there’s any repercussions.

Laura: You can’t just have multiple prophecies lying around; multiple records of them for people to just run across.

Eric: Well, the only people…

Andrew: No, I know that but I thought, maybe I’m getting it confused with what you said.

How Are The Prophecies Catalogued?

Eric: Guys, the only people that can hear retrieve the prophecy from those little glass balls, the spheres, where the people that it was made about or whatever.

Andrew: Right. Yes.

Eric: So, the Ministry, even though they’re cataloging, like, who can open each ball or hear something from it, however – we don’t even know how that’s done – extracting the actual prophecy from the thing. I don’t think they are any repercussions for actually destroying them, considering how likely is it. And, you know, most of the prophecies don’t even come true, which is the other thing, and then the ones that do, like, how exactly do you arrange for an appointment inside the Department of Mysteries to hear your own prophecy? I think, you know, what are they for to begin with? What is the point of keeping that room of the Hall of Prophecies? What is that for, considering the Ministry can’t hear a darn thing that’s in them. And you can’t – it doesn’t seem to be very easy to go in and find out what it’s saying for yourself.

Andrew: It’s for the record, first of all.

Eric: For the record? They can’t even record what was recorded. What was said.

Andrew: It’s written on the prophecy or something, isn’t it?

Eric: They say something’s made to somebody else, you know? It’s made by Sybil, something something, Trelawney to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: And that’s all it says, but it doesn’t say what it is unless you smash it.

Andrew: Yes it does!

Eric: Unless you smash it…

Andrew: No.

Eric: …you cannot hear it unless you smash it. And even then you have to…

Laura: Well, that’s the only method we’ve seen.

Eric: No, but the only people who can remove the prophecy…

Andrew: Okay, in the book…

Eric: The only people who can remove the prophecy from the shelf are the people it was made about.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: But I wonder about the people who are storing it there. How’d they get it there? I don’t know.

Andrew: Okay. On the prophecy is says, and Ron saw it, too, “SPT to APWBD. Dark Lord and Harry Potter.”

Eric: Oh.

Laura: Yeah. That’s all it says. It doesn’t say the whole prophecy.

Andrew: Well, no.

Eric: Oh.

Andrew: Eric, Eric, Eric said it only just said who it’s from and to. So, take that, Eric.

Eric: Oh. No, okay, so…

Andrew: I just saved us 50 complaint e-mails.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: You’re welcome.

Kevin: Yeah, but you would assume that description came from the person who actually created the record of the prophecy.

Eric: Maybe they can touch it.

Kevin: Like Dumbledore said, “Hey, this is the prophecy concerning Dark Lord and Harry Potter. Store for me.”

Eric: And that… Well, maybe… Well, we know, thanks to… Well, Voldemort says the only people who are able to remove it from the shelf once it’s on there is the people it was made about, or to, or about, actually, people it concerns.

Andrew: “When he grabbed it, it felt as though it had been lying in the sun for hours, as though the glow of the light within was warming it.” Just a little tidbit there.

Eric: I’ve read that line in fanfiction many times. And, so, anyway…

Andrew: Okay. That’s uncalled for.

Eric: No, listen.

Andrew: This is a G-rated show.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: You know, I guess since they know it about and you proved me wrong, Andrew, about that. Since they know what it regards, I guess the person who made the record of the prophecy is able to touch the prophecy and place it on the shelf. But, I don’t know. We don’t know anything about the storage of them except the only people that can remove it are the people it was made about, or recorded to have been made about, and that’s it. I would just hate to be the sound guy putting in that sound of smashing glass on the 10 million digital glass spheres that are going go off in the fifth movie.

Laura: What?

Andrew: [sighs] Well, that’s what they’re paid for, Eric, so I don’t think it should be much of a problem there.

Eric: Yeah, that is what they’re paid for. They make a hundred times more than what we’ll ever make.

Andrew: That’s right. That’s right.

Planet Room

Laura: Planets! Let’s take about planets. If you’ll remember Ron, Ginny, and Luna all ended up in a Planet Room.

Eric: Yeah. Do you think Pluto was a planet in that room? Did anybody see Pluto? Was Pluto mentioned? Because I’m interested in if JKR thinks Pluto’s a planet.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Well, no, no, no. You know what I thought was funny that Luna mentioned that she blew up Pluto, which I thought was kind of nerdily funny.

Andrew: Oh. That’s kind of ironic because it’s not a planet anymore.

Laura: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] So, anyway, what’s being studied in the Planet Room? Maybe the…

Eric: Uranus.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Oh, that’s so funny! Not.

Eric: Thank you. Goodnight

Kevin: I mean, we know that the planets do have some, like the alignment of the planets…

Andrew: Right.

Kevin: …do have some effect on showing what’s to come. So, I would assume that they’re trying to study the positions and current state of things.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Kevin, can you explain the String Theory as it applies to Astronomy?

Kevin: No. I am not explaining the String Theory.

Eric: But it’s good. It’s good.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, it’s good, but it is not something to be explained on a Harry Potter podcast.

Eric: Right, right, right.

Ben: You don’t even understand it.

Eric: But I knew you could, so I thought I’d ask.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: But Google or Wiki the String Theory, if you’re interested. Many people have speculated that the alignment of the planets has a lot to do with Earth itself and gravity and Earth turning and…

Kevin: Yeah. Its just concerning, essentially concerning, where gravity actually comes from, because gravity is a force, but what actually is a force? It’s just…

Eric: And what started it.

Ben: [impersonating Kevin] String Theory is a model of fundamental Physics, whose building blocks are one dimensional extended objects.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: [laughs] So, whatever the hell that means.

Eric: No. Seriously, though, you know if Earth stopped turning we’d all go flying through the wall at approximately 100,000 kilometers per second.

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: That’d stink.

Eric: That would really stink. Time would go on, but…

Andrew: So, to me, a Planet Room in the Department of Mysteries. Like in Professor Trelawney’s class there’s always the question of, you know, “or the alignment of the planets, it foretells your future.” Maybe that’s what they’re studying.

Kevin: Yeah. That’s what I thought. Absolutely.

Eric: Yeah, but Firenze pretty much said that was crap.

Andrew: He did, but how accurate are their thoughts about all this? Because he was downplaying everything Trelawney was bringing up.

Eric: Yeah, well, Firenze himself said that the stars had been read wrongly by centaurs, too. So…

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …I don’t think anybody…

Andrew: So, nobody really knows.

Eric: It doesn’t seem like the Planet Room would do much good.

Kevin: Yeah, but…

Eric: Maybe it might.

Kevin: I mean it’s…

Andrew: Well, they’re trying.

Kevin: Yeah, of course.

Eric: Well, like…

Eric: It’s one thing that they may not ever understand but they’re trying to understand it.

Eric: These departments – and it’s interesting talking about these department – but I don’t know that we’ll ever get knowledge of what the Ministry wizards have learned from these planets, considering they’re kind of just there for show, in a way. But, you know…

Laura: Who would they show them to?

Eric: …it’s cool to have a Planet Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, well it’s cool to see…

Laura: I don’t think they’re there for show.

Eric: It would be great to ask JK Rowling, “Hey, what have these scientists uncovered about planets in this room?” But it’s not written. You know, it’s not written. The room is there, but Jo couldn’t tell us about a meteor that’s actually coming towards us or anything like that, based on the studies of these wizards. What I’m saying is, this room is… But we wouldn’t like…

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: We could hear theories on what’s in the love room. But beyond that, you know. She wrote it. And it’s a matter of, yes, there’s a planet room, but does that mean that they actually know stuff, and that that’s going to come into play in the books?

Seven Doors Remain

Laura: Yeah, okay, speaking of rooms, I thought it was interesting, because as I was rereading these chapters, I noticed that there are obviously twelve doors in the circular room, and they went through five of them…

Eric: Oh my god.

Laura: Which leaves guess how many that we don’t know about?

Andrew: Six.

Laura: Seven.

Eric: Seven.

Laura: That wonderful…

Eric: Yeah. Twelve minus five is six, and Andrew’s shrinking into the woodwork.

Laura: Seven. So, what I thought was kind of interesting though, and it’s not really important, I guess, but all of the rooms that they were in were kind of connected. Like, the brain room led directly into the Death Chamber.

Eric: You think about death.

Laura: Yeah, the Time room led into the Hall of Prophecy. And the planet Room must have also been accessible from the Hall of Prophecy, because Ron, Ginny and Luna ran in the opposite direction of Harry, Hermione and Neville.

Eric: To me, it makes sense for time and space…

Laura: Well, exactly.

Eric: …to lead to death.

Laura: Well, what I’m saying is, it’s all kind of connected the way every aspect of your life is connected.

Eric: So, are we to assume that those twelve doors and twelve rooms…

Laura: …are all connected.

Eric: Presumably are the twelve aspects of life? As we know it?

Laura: Well, not necessarily the aspects of life.

Ben: Oh yeah, planets are an aspect of life.

Eric: Well, love and death, love and death, and space and time. Time, space, love, death. How many more are there?

Laura: But I mean, obviously we didn’t see everything that the Department of Mysteries had to show. And there are obviously seven doors left. Do you think we’re going to find out what’s behind them?

Kevin: I don’t think so.

Laura: How Harry’s going to kill Voldemort? [laughs]

Eric: How Harry knows where Godric’s Hollow is.

Kevin: The Voldemort Room.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: Yeah, hey, there should be tyrannical…

Kevin: Like the remains of his previous bodies.

Eric: Or the Darkness Room.

Laura: Well, we can assume that one of those doors leads directly into the Planet Room, which would take us down to six.

Eric: That’s true.

Laura: Just… I don’t know. I’m… You guys all know that.

Kevin: I think that she touched on the rooms that she wanted to describe.

Eric: Yeah, that’s exactly what I was saying about the planets.

Kevin: And although we may see them in passing, I don’t think they’re going to play a huge role in the events.

Laura: See, I don’t know, you guys.

Andrew: Maybe there’s a Break Room…

Laura: Funny.

Eric: You kind of missed the point, where JK can just go…

Kevin: Were you thinking that she’s going to…

Andrew: A bathroom! You’ve got to have a bathroom down there.

Laura: Yeah, that is a big part of life, isn’t it?

Andrew [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: You know they call the toilet the Think Tank.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Maybe that’s what scarred Ron. It was the… Never mind.

Laura: Ugh, no. Let’s not go there. I don’t know, you guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: The Love Room.

Harry’s Return to the Department of Mysteries

Laura: [laughs] You guys know how I feel about the Department of Mysteries.

Andrew: I don’t know, how do you feel?

Laura: Shut up! I’ve been stressing it since last year that I think that Harry’s…

Andrew: Okay, sorry, new listeners, you don’t get to know how Laura feels because she can’t be bothered to explain.

Laura: Okay, I am explaining, Andrew Sims.

Andrew: Sorry, listeners. We’re just suppose to all guess, because we’re all new listeners. It’s okay Laura, don’t worry
about it.

Eric: To be fair to Laura, Andrew. To be fair to Laura…

Laura: [laughs] No, as I was about to explain before I was so rudely interrupted by this New Jersey kid.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: I think the Department of Mysteries is extremely important and I think that Harry’s going to go back and learn a lot about it. I’ve said it multiple times. I think we’re…

Eric: How’s he going to get in?

Laura: Well…

Eric: They wanted him to be the spokesman…

Laura: What the hell. [laughs] He already got in once before.

Kevin: No, it’s not only that, Eric. I think that the Ministry’s going to treat Harry slightly differently now that they know that Voldemort is back.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Kevin: For sure.

Eric: I think people inside the Ministry …

Andrew: I don’t know if that still gives him a reason to go into the Department of Mysteries, though.

Kevin: I think if he wants to see the Department of Mysteries, all he has to do is walk right up to it and go, “Hey, I need to see in there, because it pertains to Voldemort.”

Eric: I don’t think Scrimgeour’s going to let him in.

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t…

Kevin: I see him having pretty much free reign.

Laura: Yeah. I think that Harry’s…

Eric: Well, if he…

Andrew: No. No.

Laura: I seriously think that Harry’s – I think that Harry’s battle with the Ministry is over.

Kevin: I do too.

Laura: I really think it is.

Eric: Well, still, there will be politicians that hate him, like Lucius Malfoy and Rufus Scrimgeour.

Andrew: Of course, but they don’t have any power.

Eric: I think the general people will – and if they see him coming into work, even if it is to go to the Department of Mysteries, him being there at the Ministry is kind of doing what the Ministry wants of Harry anyway.

Laura: Exactly.

Andrew: Well, yeah, but I think the only reason they would let him in is because they know he could raise a fuss and get something printed in the Daily Prophet, maybe, or something like that.

Eric: Which is true.

Kevin: He has a lot of power. Essentially.

Eric: He does.

Kevin: Over …

Eric: The political state of things.

Laura: Harry has tons of power over the Ministry now.

Eric: Oh, that’s interesting. The power that he now has not based on how he has matured as a wizard but just how he is viewed in society – that power has grown dramatically since Voldemort’s been back.

Laura: Well, yeah.

Kevin: Right.

Laura: Because he’s the only one that can kill Voldemort.

Eric: No, well, yeah, but Andrew said that. If Harry says something in the paper, not that the paper prints anything because the Ministry leans on it, but that’s okay.

Andrew: Go back to the Quibbler.

Laura: Yeah, but as you’ll remember…

Eric: Yeah, oh, well exactly.

Laura: …The Daily Prophet started printing articles about the truth at the end of Order of the Phoenix.

Andrew: Yes.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What do you mean, the one that said Voldemort is back?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, of course they had to. Well, they sort of had to.

Laura: Yeah, but see now, now everyone has to listen to Harry because they looked like complete idiots.

Andrew: That’s true.

Eric: And nobody wants to look like an idiot. I feel like debating something.

Kevin: I feel like leaving.

Andrew: Kevin has to go everyone, so everyone say bye to Kevin.

Laura: Bye Kevin!

Eric: Bye Kevin!

Kevin: Good bye, everyone.

Andrew: Oh no, but wait a second, letting him back into the Department of Mysteries, I don’t think they will. Because, he would have to provide a valid excuse.

Laura: I don’t think it matters. I think that whether they let him in or not, I think he’s going to go. I think that he’d break in if that’s what it took.

Eric: I think he can go. I think he’d be able to go. I think he should go. I think that people will let him in if they see him, but I don’t – I hope Harry becomes the kind of person that cares a lot about studying what’s in that room. He might bring Hermione in with him. He might ask…

Laura: No.

Eric: I don’t know, do you think Harry could actually talk face to face with the people – the Unspeakables who are actually in the Department of Mysteries? Maybe they’ll be slightly more speakable about what they’ve learned?

Was Lily an Unspeakable?

Laura: I don’t know. I still kind of wonder if Lily was an Unspeakable. There’s really no support behind that, but it would be interesting.

Eric: Well, because nobody’s talking about it.

Andrew: And because there’s not much reason.

Eric: Yes, that was a joke.

Laura: Yeah, there’s no reason behind it, but I think it would make sense, just because Jo said that one of them would have to have a high paying career. And she said that their employment was kind of important.

Eric: I don’t know, maybe it was James…

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: And he went back in time and gave himself a penny in the time room or he gave himself a Knut and he then he went back in time and got the Knut and gave himself a Knut and got the Knut and that’s how Harry has the fortune.

Andrew: So, I think that wraps up our discussion on the Department of Mysteries.

Laura: Yeah, it was a good, three-piece…

Andrew: Thing.

Laura: …thing. [laughs]

Andrew: Thinger.

Eric: Three-piece suit.

Andrew: Laura, you’ve been wanting to talk about it for a while.

Ben: What’s next, Laura, Laura, what’s next?

Laura: What do you mean, what’s next?

Andrew: For discussion. I like this series thing.

Laura: In case… I don’t know, should we do series? Series discussions?

Listener Rebuttal – Laura Mallory

Andrew: Well, sometimes, not all the time. We have a couple emails now, couple more e-mails. Christina, 16, of Canada writes: “Hey MuggleCasters, this rebuttal’s for Jamie. On episode 59…”

Ben: Oh good, he’s not even here.

Andrew: I know. [laughs]

“On episode 59, he said that people are curious about the things that they hate. Sorry, Jamie, but there is living proof that what he said is not true. She lives in Georgia. If people are really curious about things they hate, then why doesn’t Mrs. Mallory pick up a Harry Potter book and actually read it?”

Whoa, snap, Christina. Mmmm, girl.

Laura: I don’t think so. Okay, because the truth about Laura Mallory is she has picked up a Harry Potter book. She has skimmed them, but she hasn’t actually read them. She was curious enough about them to actually open them up and look at them. I think that people are curious about the things they hate. How many times…

Eric: I think people are afraid of things they hate.

Laura: Okay. I’m going to and it’s true…

Andrew: When’s the next hearing, Laura?

Laura: I don’t know, they haven’t scheduled it. But for instance, you know…

Andrew: Okay, we’re done talking about Laura Mallory.

Laura: That every… No!

Andrew: It was a quick email I wanted to read.

Laura: No, okay, what I’m saying is that every single person who listens to the show, for instance, has gone out and searched for a person that they hate on MySpace, because they’re curious about what that person’s MySpace looks like.

Ben: You know what’s a good idea?

Eric: I think…

Ben: I think if Laura Mallory stirs up any more trouble or stuff, what we’re going to do, is
give out her phone number and encourage every single visitor to call her.

MuggleCast Dating Service

Andrew: Ooh. That would be pretty good. I like that idea. I finally have a MuggleCast Dating Service update. Finally got one. We put these two together and we’re really happy about it. Actually, I’m completely making that up. I haven’t put any two together. It’s a very messy business, trying to put people together. But, we got this email the other day…

Ben: Don’t you think the MuggleCast Dating Service is responsible for John Noe and Kelly, don’t you feel so?

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh, actually, I would agree with that statement, yes. We got this email the other day from Chris, 15 from Arkansas. He writes about his dating service success story. So.

“I didn’t use the actual dating service, but I just got my first girlfriend in five years, because she was listening to her iPod when she came outside as I was playing basketball. I asked her what she was listening to, and she said… MuggleCast.”

Laura: PotterCast.

Andrew: No. MuggleCast.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: “That was when we clicked, and started talking about Harry Potter, among other things like football, baseball, cross country. She’s a runner. She’s the first person I’ve met in my town that listens to MuggleCast, and she’s smoking hot [laughs] too. I’ve finally found someone that’s smart – not quite as smart as me, but it will work.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Whoa!

Andrew: “I have a 4.2, she has a 3.8.”

Laura: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!. That’s terrible!

Eric: Whoa. Whoa! How do you compare your girl’s intelligence to yours?

Andrew: Okay. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going here. Let’s keep going.

“As for personality, we talk on the phone for hours without – we talk on the phone for end.


“We talk on the phone for…”

Laura: Hours on end.

Andrew: “…hours on end. We talk on the phone for hours on end without boredom. She’s athletic, so I’m okay in that department, as I said she runs cross country and I play baseball for my high school team, and is beautiful.”

Now, wait a second. Doesn’t smoking hot and beautiful – never mind.

“That combination is nearly impossible to come across in high school. I’m about the only person that is a geek and jock at the same time, so it’s very nice to have someone like that move in next door, because everyone is either one extreme or the other, but, but, but her landlord was being a bully and called the new landlord and got her kicked out, so now she’s going to a different school, but it’s all right.”

So there you go, guys. Next time you see someone random in the hallway, ask them what they’re listening to because it could, very well, be MuggleCast.

Eric: It must have been.. It must have been that 3.8 grade point average that got her kicked out of school.

[Ben laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I wouldn’t…

Eric: He’s got a 4.2, so he’s safe.

Laura: Advice to guys out there, don’t say you’re smarter than your girlfriends. It’s not a good idea.

Eric: Yeah, she listens to MuggleCast, dude. It’s not like she wouldn’t find out.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Yeah, so e-mail us next week and let us know how the breakup goes.

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] Okay, there’s your success story.

Laura: MuggleCast breakups.

Ben: Break up with him, okay? You hear me? What’s her name? Do you know her name? Did he say her name?

Andrew: No. I knew it, but it was on her MySpace.

Ben: Well, anyway, you know what? Break up with him. You are too good for him, okay? He obviously does not appreciate you.

Eric: Yeah, he may be a jock and a geek at the same time, but do you really want both ends of the spectrum.

Andrew: I think it’s terrible you guys are talking him out of it, and I don’t appreciate that kind of attitude you guys are sharing here on the show.

Eric: Sorry.

Andrew: And we’re going to have a talk after – we haven’t finished recording.

Ben: Unhappy with what?

Andrew: The attitude you’re bringing to the show. I don’t appreciate it.

Eric: Because we have such an excellent track record with this whole dating service.

Andrew: Yeah [Laughs]

Debate: Decree For The Restriction of Underage Wizardry

Andrew: Okay, so anyway, guys, it’s time that we have another debate.

Ben: Another debate.

Andrew: We did one of these – We did one of these a few weeks ago.

Eric: That’s debatable, Andrew.

[Andrew laughs and rings bell]

Andrew: We did one of these a few weeks ago, and we got a lot of great feedback about it, and then we didn’t do another one. We had planned to, but we just didn’t, so we’re doing another one now. Go ahead, Ben.

Ben: I’ll take over here. Okay. Reminder. Quick reminder about the format. Each side, the affirmative and the negative, or the pro and the con, each gets two minutes to present their case over the topic, and this week’s topic is: In times of war, the Wizarding world should lift the Decree For the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. Okay? On…

Eric: I would like to go first…

[Laura laughs]

Ben: Andrew and Laura are saying they should not lift the restriction, and Eric is on his own side, he’s bidding by himself. So if he pulls this out, it’s a miracle, folks, because…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: …he has one mind working against two.

Laura: I think either way, Andrew and I look really bad.

Andrew: Yeah. [Laughs]

Ben: So, just a reminder here: We have two minutes – each side gets two minutes to present their case, then there will be about five minutes of discussion, then they each get a minute to sum up their position.

Andrew: I just want to say something first. The one big piece of feedback we got about this segment was that it sounds like we’re yelling at each other. We don’t – it sounds like we don’t like each other.

Laura: That’s debate.

Andrew: Yeah, we don’t actually. If it sounds like we’re getting angry with each other – which we shouldn’t…

Laura: Well…

Ben: We’re just passionate about what we do, okay? That’s all it is.

Andrew: Right. We still love each other. It’s – don’t take it seriously.

Ben: And one other thing. One other thing you should remember: there will be a poll on; vote for who you think the winners are. My vote – I’ll decide who I think won at the end of the debate – my vote counts for 25 percent of the vote, but remember do not side with me just because I’m Ben Schoen. Vote for whoever you think won, okay?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: No, seriously. Last week, last time, there were some people who were angry because they thought that the only reason Jamie and I won was because Andrew voted for us.

Laura: Okay.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: Which was obviously not true because we stomped them.

Laura: Oh, yes.

Ben: So vote for, honestly, whoever you think won.

Andrew: We never said that on the last – we never said – announced on the show who won the last time. It was Jamie and Ben.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: You me and Jamie.

Laura: Laura and Eric.

Andrew: By popular vote, too, so it wasn’t even…

Ben: We got about a two-thirds of the vote – the fan vote – plus Andrew’s 25 percent, so yeah. We won. Okay so now lets get things started. Andrew and Laura. No, actually, hold on a second. Actually, the affirmative has to start first.

Eric: They should lift it. First of all, my main problem with it – the Decree of Underage Wizardry – is that it’s crap. It’s complete, complete crap. Even when not in war, they should completely abolish this rule, this law. It does nothing. It does absolutely nothing but protect people or rather, hurt the people that don’t deserve it. Harry didn’t even use the Hover Charm that Dobby did, and he got slagged for it, and it was held against him in the large Wizengamot trials later on when it was just complete crap. Harry didn’t do a charm in his house, but just because he doesn’t happen to live with magical relatives under their house, he gets all this flak for magic being done in his house in front of Muggles. Anybody who’s anybody could walk in to his house and do magic, and he would get in trouble for it, and I don’t think that’s fair at all. Now, on the other hand, if you live in a Wizarding home like the Weasleys, you can play Quidditch every other weekend out in your back yard with poles and brooms and you can have such a more fruitful life, rather, living with magic. I really feel bad for people who don’t live in wizarding houses, because they have to figure everything out once they get to Hogwarts, whereas the Wizarding community, you know, oh, it’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure the kids don’t do anything. Yeah, bull crap. The parents will be teaching their kids everything they know, just like that’s how regular parenting takes place. So, my final reasons for the Restriction Of Underage Wizardry being lifted is that in times of war, especially, it will be very hard to track everything – hang on. Are you guys still on? Okay, because somebody jumped out. All right. In times of Wizarding war it would be even harder to track that kind of thing. Who’s going to be in whose houses? Everyone is going to be hiding. It doesn’t work to begin with, it’s a flawed system; just leave it as it is, and that’s pretty much it. Just leave it. It’s absolute crap and it punishes the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and now that it’s wartime, you just got to get rid of it.

Ben: Okay. Now, the negative, you have two minutes to respond.

Laura: There are concrete reasons as to why the Ban on Underage Wizardry shouldn’t be lifted, and the first of which is that it can seriously compromise the ability to detect other illegal magic going on. Say if the Ministry is trying to keep tabs on what all is going on magically, 1,000 underage wizards casting spells to their heart’s content could clog the system, as it were, making Ministry and Order response much less effective. Eric mentioned that child safety should be considered, and he’s right. However, I think it’s important to remind ourselves that students are already allowed to defend themselves. The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry specifies that underage wizards are allowed to use magic in cases where defense is required, not to mention, if you’re having a bunch of untrained wizards running around casting magic spells that they don’t quite know how to use, you can end up causing a lot more harm, because people could get hurt.

Andrew: Eric’s only real point there is that it’s crap that you would be able to – that you should keep it on because it just doesn’t make sense. If you were to remove this ban, it would be mayhem. That’s what it comes down to. It would just be mayhem.

Laura: Well, not to mention…

Andrew: Just think of the bad kids who would be able to go out and do some – cause some disaster in their local Muggle neighborhood, and they wouldn’t be able to get in trouble for that? I mean, under some rule they might. They might.

Laura: Well, I mean when you think about it, it’s not like the average student could defend themselves from a Death Eater or Voldemort himself, anyhow. So, isn’t it better to keep things the way they are in terms of students continuing their educations in a safe environment where magic is regulated?

Eric: Three, two, one.

Ben: Okay, now five minutes. Well, let’s say about… Yeah, until I say stop. Roughly five minutes of crossfire here.

Laura: All right, Eric, one of the first examples you cited was that children in Wizarding homes can perform magic. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. You, for instance, said that they can play Quidditch, well that isn’t necessarily performing magic when you play Quidditch. The objects themselves are magical. So, it’s not like, by the Weasley children playing Quidditch, they’re breaking the Decree for Underage Wizardry and not getting in trouble for it.

Eric: They’re certainly breaking, or infringing upon the Muggle protection act.

Laura: No, they’re not!

Andrew: How?

Eric: They’re making themselves seen by…

Laura: No, they’re not. They don’t live in a Muggle community.

Eric: Or visible. That’s true. But, but just things like that. I’m saying people who grow up in wizarding families can be so much more well-rounded, just because of their family and there’s no consequences as a result. I don’t think it’s a big deal too much though because I do agree with what you guys said about Muggle children being held accountable for going and turning their Muggle faces into goo, or something, next door, you know? But that’s a home problem, too, and that’s – I don’t necessarily know what the Ministry’s so afraid about as far as that goes. But what I’m saying is that even though you are allowed to use magic if you’re defending yourself, that’s way after they take you to court that any of that information is found out. You get a court sentence…

Laura: It doesn’t…

Eric: An owl through your window.

Laura: It doesn’t matter. You still don’t…

Eric: And so much..

Laura: You’re still not found guilty of it.

Eric: Right, but in the time of war, in a time of war so many people are going to be defending themselves. So many people who are younger and maybe even can’t do it, but they are going to be using magic..

Laura: Exactly, so…

Eric: And…

Laura: That’ll probably change a little bit.

Eric: Can you imagine the expense of owls that’ll be sent out if anybody wants to maintain this crap?

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: But Eric, because it’s – because its a time of war, those regulations are probably going to change.

Eric: Right, but so many of…

Laura: They’re not…they’re not going…

Eric: Instances.

Laura: To bring people to court for defending themselves against Dementors anymore. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Well…

Laura: Because Harry’s already proven that Voldemort’s back and that people are going to have to do that.

Eric: So you’re kind of basically saying that the ban will be lifted anyway.

Laura: No, I’m not saying the ban will be lifted. I’m saying people aren’t going to be hauled to court every time they defend themselves. So, it’s not like we’re going to have…

Eric: Well, they’ll still be apparently breaking this restriction. So…

Laura: But they’re not…

Eric: If it’s kept in place.

Laura: They’re not breaking the restriction because they’re defending themselves and it’s already in the decree…

Eric: But who can prove that?

Laura: That they’re allowed to.

Eric: They needed a witness. Dumbledore needed to bring in Mrs. Figg to…

Laura: No, Harry’s trial…

Eric: To prove…

Laura: Eric…

Eric: To prove that they were defending themselves. What I’m saying is that so many people would be defending themselves. There are so many instances where people are going to – where underage wizards, more often than not, are going to be using magic to defend themselves. It is a complete waste of time.

Laura: Well, citing…

Andrew: Eric that’s…

Eric: Complete waste of time.

Andrew: That’s a terrible example.

Laura: Yeah. Citing Harry’s trial is…

Andrew: You reference the court trial. Umbridge admitted…

Laura: A really bad example.

Andrew: Umbridge admitted herself that she sent the Dementors after him so how could you say…

Laura: Yeah, it was the ministry trying to get Harry…

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Into trouble.

Andrew: Right.

Laura: It’s not a good example.

Eric: Okay.

Laura: You can’t take Harry’s trial and say that’s going to be the average experience of every person who uses defensive magic, because it’s not.

Eric: No, in Year Two, he still got the owl through the… I mean, in many instances, or in many cases the owl worsened things for Harry, or it sure didn’t help. And the other thing, too, that I wanted to say about this is that I think once you – I don’t really like the idea that you’re not able to use magic when you get home from Hogwarts. I don’t necessarily agree with that. Now, that has to do with the underage wizard thing as well. There’s no way to refine your technique or do anything with magic unless you’re being schooled. And I can kind of see they want people to come out well-rounded and well – I just there’s a large unaccountability. Like for instance Tom Riddle, had he been living at a magic home, could have done far more evil and not gotten reprimanded for it when he was home from the holidays. Just because he lived in a magical institution. Now, he didn’t. It just so happens that he didn’t, but if he had…

Laura: So, you think we should lift the bans…

Eric: I’m saying people like Draco Malfoy-

Laura: So, that people like Draco…

Eric: No.

Laura: Could run around and cast terrible spells and even more mayhem?

Eric: No. I’m saying Draco can cast terrible magic spells-

Laura: Not as much as he…

Eric: As much as he wants to.

Laura: Not as much as he’d be able to-

Eric: As much as he wants to, yes, under his own roof, because Lucius is a respected member of society. His son can get away with doing so much.

Laura: But we’re not even talking about the past right now, we’re talking about the future, because they’re in the middle of a war. If Draco’s not even with his dad anymore it doesn’t matter because they’re going to know that. If they have detections of an underage wizard running around the British countryside performing magic, they’re going to know it.

Eric: Well, either way, they’re both of age now, or they will both be of age soon. Draco and Harry. But it’s just a matter – I really think it’s flawed. I really think that there should not be a repercussion considering it’s – they don’t even have to do magic to get flagged. If somebody else does magic in their home, like Dobby, or something, it just – you’re blamed for something you didn’t do.

Andrew: I want to know how it’s flawed because there is, like Laura brought up in her opening thing, you are allowed to use magic if it is for defensive purposes, like against a Dementor. So how do you think – how is it flawed?

Eric: Okay. Dobby uses hover charm, Harry gets sentenced, or he gets a warning, an official warning, that if he later gets warnings will bring him to court.

Andrew: Yeah, okay.

Eric: That’s a flaw.

Andrew: How is that flawed? I don’t – I’m not following you.

Eric: He didn’t do the magic – he didn’t do the crime, but he’s going to do the time.

Andrew: But he didn’t.

Eric: That in itself is flawed.

Laura: He didn’t do any time for it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: No, he didn’t that time, but how many more times would Dobby have had to go in and use a charm and he would get slammed. I’m saying first of all, you’re saying it’s okay because he didn’t do the time, that he’s still getting officially labeled as that? Officially – it’s on his official record.

Andrew: Yes, because him a warning it’s not like they automatically flipped out on him and said “That’s it.”

Eric: No, but they had the record that he was being warned. They had the record that he was warned. It made him look bad.

Laura: The thing is Eric..

Eric: And, of course, they’re trying to prove he was looking bad.

Laura: Eric. It was a rare situation. Again, using Harry as an example here isn’t the best way to defend yourself because… Oh, no, because…

Eric: Okay, but Harry’s all we have.

Laura: All sorts of unusual events happen to Harry, not every Muggle-born or Muggle-raised child is going to have a house-elf in their house performing magic. It’s not going to happen.

Eric: Which is true. Which is true.

Laura: So, there are obvious exceptions to the way systems work. It’s how it happens, but-

Eric: Well, clearly the idea that a parent of a wizarding child will be responsible enough to prevent their kid from doing harmful magic to Muggles is a completely flawed idea.

Ben: Okay, that wraps up that.

Laura: The point is… Okay…

Ben: That wraps up our little cross-fire section there. Yeah, so Laura and Andrew, you have one minute to tell me why they should not – why in times of war they should not lift the ban.

Andrew: It would just be a huge mistake. There would be mayhem on the streets. Who knows, maybe someone, a wizard, could make a mistake in casting a spell on someone, because, you know, everyone’s on edge. So maybe they’ll see someone and be like, “Ahhh, Avada Kedavra!” Okay, maybe not that bad, but…

Laura: Well, just like in times of war in our world, do we say it’s okay for underage children to run around with guns? I mean it’s in – just for instance whenever you’re learning to drive, just because, you know, you made need to go to the store by yourself, or because your parents aren’t home, it doesn’t mean you can drive by yourself if you haven’t been certified. So, these underage people who are learning how to use magic, and they haven’t refined their technique yet, they obviously can’t run around using magic unmonitored, and the only place that the Ministry has a common ground on monitoring that magic is at Hogwarts. So, they shouldn’t be able to perform it outside of school.

Andrew: And this is all assuming that during this war that there are going to be random attacks on people. But even if there is that’s where you are allowed to defend yourself.

Ben: Eric, tell me why they should lift the decree.

Eric: I think on principle, it’s a decent idea that you have to restrict kids who are obviously not in a closed environment supervised by an elder to use magic, and that in itself is a good idea, but I don’t personally think that it works the same ways that it should. It prevents magic from being done in front of Muggles, maybe, but at the same time you could still bring Muggles to a wizarding household and perform all sorts of crap on them. Especially, if you are a Pure-Blood wizard who hates Muggles, you could do so many things to Muggles and there would be no way of detecting it. Almost. I’m trying to think that maybe there’s something in the Ministry that goes along with this that allows somebody to tell what charm was used such as the Hover Charm. So, there’s some way of maybe flagging houses, or detecting what kind of magic is used in a particular instance. So, maybe in the war, even if a Muggle accidentally, or is hit by an inexperienced wizard, there might be some record of it. I’m just saying it shouldn’t be banned. People should not have to – not necessarily account for their actions, but I’m trying to think of a situation where they are actually, you know, trying to vandalize streets. When they’re running from Voldemort. I think during war time the – I think it’s very unlikely, not unlikely, but I think they’ve got bigger fish to fry than the little kids who are going to be running around the streets. You know? Nobody’s going to be running around. They’re going to be hiding in there houses, waiting for Voldemort.

Ben: Good. Good debate everybody. I’m very impressed. A few comments before I give my decision. Something that, Eric, you should have spent more time on in your first little spiel there was that it says “in times of war.” You spent a lot of time explaining why the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry was just bad to begin with but you should have spent saying, “Okay in times of war these people are going to be under threat, why should the Ministry have to worry about little kids casting spells when they could be being attacked.” Laura and Andrew, something that you should have mentioned more and especially in your last little thing was that whenever there’s a – whenever your life is being threatened it is okay for you to use it, so therefore it doesn’t matter if the decree is lifted because they can use it when they absolutely need to. But Eric, I know, I’m saying that you should have mentioned it in your last thing. But Eric something that you should have brought up like in response to that was not just about the hassles it’s going to bring on the Ministry – I like the thing you brought up about the owls – but that when parents aren’t around as much they may need magic to make their lives easier and perform everyday activities and not just against Death Eaters. You know what I’m saying? If that makes any sense. Yeah. Overall, I think it was good. I don’t know if this is going to be the popular decision here, but I’m going to have to vote with the affirmative or, Eric Scull.

[Andrew groans]

Laura: What?! You are such a tool!

Ben: Hold on, hold on.

Laura: You’re such a tool! [laughs]

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Hold on, no. Here’s why. Here’s why: He made a good point that you guys brought up, okay, that they should only be allowed to defend themselves when they’re “qualified” to defend themselves. And I think that’s a really good point that they should lift the Ban on Underage Wizardry just because of the hassle it’s going to cause, when there’s going to be more attacks, the Ministry’s forces are going to spread to begin with. So, they’re going to need absolutely everybody and they’re not going to need to be tracking underage magic because it’s too much of a hassle especially when these people are going to be attacked. And something else that he did mention in his last little spiel is that these people – these kids aren’t going to go out destroying streets just because they’re allowed to use magic, that it’s going to be used when they absolutely need to defend themselves. So, there you have it. Eric Scull wins in my opinion.

Andrew: All right. It’s up to the listeners now, to decide.

Ben: Yeah, it’s up to the listeners to decide. Remember…

Laura: It’s up to the listeners not to be delusional. Geez.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Okay, if you honestly think that Eric – I mean Andrew and Laura won the debate, please vote for them. Do not let my decision bear on yours, have any weight on yours at all. And something else that’s important to mention: Please don’t let this turn into a popularity contest about “Oh, I think Andrew’s the coolest host, so I’m going to vote for Andrew.” Don’t make it about that, make it about the arguments.

Eric: Or “Eric is funny, he talks too much” or anything like that.

Andrew: We already know I am the coolest host.

Eric: Oh, you are, yeah.

Ben: So, I’m just saying…

Eric: How pathetic are we, dude? Alphabetically, you’re number one.

Andrew: I have to start saying I’m just kidding after everything I say because then I get these emails about how big of a head I have. People don’t understand – I’m just doing it to be sarcastic.

Laura: Yeah. People in the comments – oh my, god, did you see them last week?

Andrew: Yeah. “You guys have big heads!” No, we don’t!

Laura: I think it was me, Micah, and Kevin were the only ones who weren’t egotistical now, or something. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Listen: It’s a joke! We’re just kidding. When I act arrogant, like saying that “we already know I am the coolest host”. I’m just kidding! I don’t really mean that!

Laura: Yeah, he does.

Andrew: Well, yes, I do.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But, the point is… [laughs] No, I’m serious. It’s just a joke, okay? Please don’t take it seriously. [still laughing] I’m just tired of hearing that.

[Laura laughs]

Show Close

Andrew: On that note, I think it is time we start saying goodbye.

Eric: Oh, wait! There’s something at the bottom of the Writely. What is this? It’s number nine. British joke.

Laura: Yeah, well, you’re not British.

Andrew: That when – that was back yesterday when we thought Jamie was going to be on, but..

Laura: Before we flipped the “Easy” button. [laughs]

Andrew: Oui, oui.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, guys. The decision of who would host this week came down to this little sound: [presses the “Easy” button]

Andrew: We had to flip the “Easy” button to decide would it be Laura coming on the show or Jamie coming on the show? Because it was either one or the other that we had to sacrifice and Jamie lost and landed on the uneasy side. The easy side sounds like this: [presses button again] So, there you go. That’s how we decide things here on MuggleCast. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Next time you need something decided just let me know, and I’ll flip the “Easy” button for you.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Andrew at staff. Anyway…

Ben: Anyway, the P.O. Box:

P.O. Box 223
Moundridge, KS 67107.

Send us anything – send us anything except Subway gift cards. Send those to Darfur, please. [laughs]

Andrew [Show close music in background]: You can also call the MuggleCast voicemail box: You can dial 1-218-20-MAGIC, and if you’re in the United Kingdom you can dial 020-8144-0677.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: If in Australia, where we lost the award and will probably canceling that number because apparently nobody likes us down there –

[Ben laughs]

Ben: [in Australian accent] Down under, down under.

Andrew: You can call 02-8003-5668. You can also Skype the username “MuggleCast” to leave your voicemail question, comment, or concern.

Eric: If you’re an aspiring stalker and wish to view images of the…

Andrew: You can view our MySpace! Perfect transition! We also got the Facebook, we got the YouTube group, we got the Frappr group, we also have the fanlisting and forums. Please vote for us on Podcast Alley and show your support, and rate us on Yahoo! Podcasts.

Ben: Also, check out…

Andrew: Yeah, just want to say again, thanks to everyone for listening.

Ben: This is the Love Room right here.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: This is the Love Room. Something’s heating up!

Ben: [sings] The love shack is a little old place where we can get together! [laughs] Love shack baby!

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: [sings] Love shack! I’m Ben Schoen.

[Eric sings in background]

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: And I am Eric Scull.

Andrew: Kevin?

Ben: [in Kevin’s voice] I’m Kevin Steck.

Andrew: Jamie?

Ben: [in British accent] I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Andrew: Micah?

Ben: [in Micah’s voice] I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week for Episode 61! Wooo!


Eric: You guys want something really messed up with time? I was born April 23rd EST at 12:11, right after midnight, but in about seven time zones in the world, I was born on April 22nd. And it was even like… Yeah. Yeah, so if you were to see my birthday…

Andrew: Wow. Wow.

Kevin: That’s like the people born on the extra day in a leap year. Technically they’re only four years old if you were born in 1986.

Eric: Well, no. It’s not even that random. Anybody born on the east coast within like the first six hours of the day, you know, it’s a different date somewhere else around the world. But I guess that’s true with any time of day. It’s pretty much…

Andrew: Whoa.

Laura: Yeah exactly. [laughs]

Kevin: Yeah, I guess.

Eric: Everyone has different birthdays.

Ben: If I was born at 11 PM…

Kevin: I think that extra day – I think being born on the extra day in a leap year – it just tops that, Eric. I’m sorry.

Ben: Eric, you’re just trying to make yourself feel unique.

Eric: Yeah. That’s it.

Ben: Like you have four birthdays or something.

[Kevin laughs]

Eric: But, but, but in the year 2000, my birthday was Easter Sunday and I thought I was the Prodigal Son or something. I was like all flipping out. It was really cool.

Ben: That you’re Jesus.

Kevin: [laughs] I knew you were going to say that. I knew it was coming.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Guys, I have the answer! You know who gave it to me?

Laura: Bono?

Andrew: Bono.

Kevin: Oh geez.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Bono. I have an answer. It’s in a song called Mercy”.

Laura: [still laughing] How did he give it to you?

Andrew: “Love is where I lie. Love puts the blue back in my eye. Love has come again. I am gone again…”

Ben: Yeah, wonderful lyrics.

Eric: Are Bono’s eyes blue?

Andrew: Wait! But there’s more! “Love’s got to be with a wink. Only then love gets a chance to speak. Love will come again. I’ll be gone again. Again.”

Eric: So, how do you get love into a room?

Ben: I think Micah Tannenbaum is pure love.

[Kevin laughs]

Andrew: Wait there’s more! “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay.

Ben: Okay!

Andrew: “Love brings with it a clarity!”

Eric: Ben, is that what you’re saying? We should lock Micah up in a room?

Ben: Micah Tannenbaum is love.

Andrew: [sings] “Love is justice, a charity…”

Laura: Okay. Here’s my point.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love brings with it clarity.”

Eric: Seriously, what the hell? Okay, Laura, you’re on to something.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “Love has come again.”

Laura: Andrew, shut up! Thank you.

Andrew: [continues to sing] “I’m alive again.”

Laura: Oh my gosh! Hush. Anyway, here’s what I’m saying, okay…

Kevin: [laughs] This is going to be good.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Megan, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly