Transcript #189

MuggleCast 189 Transcript

Show Intro

[Intro music begins]

Andrew: Looking to start your own website? The first thing you need is a domain name, and the best place to get one is at With your domain registration you’ll get hosting, a free blog, complete e-mail, and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener, enter code Ron, that’s R-O-N, when you check out and get your dot com domain name for just $7.49 a year. Get your piece of the internet at!

[Transition music plays]

Micah: This week’s episode is brought to you by, the leading provider in spoken word entertainment. Get a free Audiobook download of your choice when you sign up today. Visit to get the details.

[“Hedwig’s Theme” plays]

Jim Dale: [as Professor McGonagall] This is Professor McGonagall welcoming you all to MuggleCast hoping you all enjoyed – Dobby! Dobby, come here! Here! Dobby! [as Dobby] Yes, I’d just like to say how very pleased I am to introduce MuggleCast to all of you! Thank you! Thank you!

[Show music begins]

Micah: Because the BAFTA’s aren’t real awards, this is MuggleCast Episode 189 for January 15th, 2010.

[Show music continues]

Andrew: Welcome back to the show, everyone. We have Micah, Matt and I here, three regulars. And also Jamie is back for the first time in a while. Hey Jamie!

Jamie: Hey! It has been a long time, hasn’t it?

Andrew: [singing] “It’s…”

Matt: Yeah.

Andrew: “…been such a long time.” I’ve missed you.

Jamie: I’ve missed…

Andrew: We’re all…

Jamie: …you too…

Andrew: …happy…

Jamie: …Andrew.

Andrew: …to have you back.

Jamie: I’m pleased to be back. Everything has changed so much, hasn’t it? But…

Andrew: Really?

Jamie: …some things still stay the same.

Andrew: Oh, yes, of course. MuggleCast is our constant in life.

Jamie: MuggleNet is not though, is it? Isn’t it going to 2.0 soon?

Andrew: [laughs] Yes!

Jamie: [laughs] That’s a trendy word! That’s a trendy word! 2.0!

Andrew: [laughs] It’s cool, yeah. We’ll talk about that in a little bit. It’s pretty exciting stuff we have…

Jamie: Cool.

Andrew: …going on. And also joining us this week is Andrea. And most of you may recognize her name from MuggleNet. She’s been writing news posts for us for – what, a few months now, Andrea?

Andrea: Almost…

Andrew: How long…

Andrea: …a year…

Andrew: …have you been…

Andrea: …I think, actually, yeah.

Andrew: Almost a…

Andrea: A year.

Andrew: …year?

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: Oh. Well, there you go. Well, welcome to the show. It’s great to have you…

Andrea: Thanks…

Andrew: …on.

Andrea: …for having me. I’m excited.

Andrew: Yeah. Laura – Jamie, I don’t know if you know this. Laura went to Costa Rica.

Jamie: No way? Really?

Andrew: Yeah…

Jamie: Sophie has…

Andrew: …to study…

Jamie: …been there.

Andrew: …abroad for a semester.

Matt: Mhm.

Andrew: So…

Jamie: Cool.

Matt: With…

Jamie: Very cool.

Matt: …the natives.

Andrew: [laughs] With the natives.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: To have a grasp upon the country. [laughs]

Micah: She’s going to teach them podcasting.

Andrew: Yes.

Jamie: [laughs] Oh…

Andrew: That’s her…

Jamie: …yeah.

Andrew: …mission. She’s bringing podcasting into – she bought up an entire Apple store supply of iPods and she’s going to saturate that…

Jamie: That is…

Andrew: …country with…

[Andrea laughs]

Jamie: …dedication for you.

Andrew: It is.

Jamie: [laughs] That can’t have been cheap.

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Andrew: It’s very noble. So we have a lot to get to on the show today. We also have the final installment of Chapter-by-Chapter for Chamber of Secrets. We’re getting that book out of the way. It’ll be our third book finished in our Chapter-by-Chapter series. I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Matt: I’m Matt Britton.

Andrea: And I’m Andrea Salazar.

[Show music continues]

Andrew: Micah, it’s our first show of 2010 and there’s lots of interesting news items to discuss this week.

News: Deathly Hallows Charity Auction

Micah: Well, first piece of news there’s a Deathly Hallows Deluxe Edition that’s been signed by J.K. Rowling and Mary GrandPre that’s up for charity auction on eBay and one hundred percent of the winning amount is going to be donated to two not-for-profit organizations. Fifty percent is going to be going to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, the mid-Florida chapter, and the other fifty percent is going to be donated to Habitat for Humanity in Sarasota. So, not only would you win this copy of Deathly Hallows Deluxe Edition signed by J.K. Rowling and Mary GrandPre, but there’s a number of others prizes that are included and it says donated by Alivan’s you get a wand, a cloak, and a scarf, signed copies of MuggleNet’s What Will Happen In Harry Potter Seven, because you know, nobody knows at this point…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: And Harry Potter Should Have Died, two MuggleNet shirts, a signed copy of Melissa Anelli’s Harry, A History, and a National Multiple Sclerosis Society t-shirt and wristband. The auction runs until, I think it’s next Thursday, January the 21st and as of right now there’s 24 bids and $1,825 is the highest bid…

Jamie: Nice.

Micah: …right now.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. I actually – this is a really nice collection of items, I mean obviously the best item here is the signed Deathly Hallows Deluxe Edition. Mary GrandPre even went so far as to include – she drew a sketch of Harry in it, which is really cool.

Jamie: Is it good? Oh yeah, of course…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: …I forgot that, yeah.

Micah: Is this her thing though? I mean it’s in Florida and I know she’s from Florida because when I was reading I was going to say, “National Multiple Sclerosis Society Scotland” by accident but I caught myself.

Andrew: Oh.

Micah: So I was just wondering – maybe is this her doing?

Andrew: I’m not – what do you mean? Well, no, this kid who put it together – Daniel – it was all him.

Micah: Oh, okay.

Andrew: Yeah, he had been in contact with us a few weeks ago and that’s how he got the MuggleNet books and the t-shirt. But actually… [laughs] I posted this on MuggleNet and I was like, you know what this is really nice, I kind of want this. So I placed a bid…

Micah: Did you?

Andrew: …and I was quickly outbid. I bid up to 700 dollars.

Micah: Wow.

Jamie: Did you Andrew? Oh you’re rolling in it! You…

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You can – you can…

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: …buy me something.

Andrew: …the reason I bid so high was I knew I wasn’t going to win. And – and I hadn’t even reached the reserve price. And as of right now, it’s at eighteen hundred dollars and the reserve has still not been met.

Jamie: I wonder if he’s put it as like ten million or something.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s probably a lot. He says he expects for it to go for between three and four grand so I guess it’s in there somewhere but – the reserve, for anyone who doesn’t know, means that someone can set a price on eBay and not allow it to sell unless it reaches that certain price.

Jamie: That would have been so funny if you’d won and you didn’t have the money to pay for it and…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: There’s like all – all this coverage from around the world that are like “altruistic Harry Potter fan makes surprising bid on eBay” and then it’s like…

[Jamie and Matt laugh]

Jamie: How’d you plan to pay for this, Andrew?

Andrew: “I thought I could afford it!”

[Matt laughs]

Andrew: I would have asked Ben to go in with me or I’d run off to Vegas and try to – try to win some money.

Jamie: Try to win it, yeah.

Andrew: But, yeah, this is a really great auction and there’s a link on MuggleNet if anyone’s interested in bidding. Obviously a lot of money but the – the collection is a very nice collection of items.

Micah: We’d like to remind you again that today’s podcast is brought to you by, the leading provider in spoken word entertainment. Audible has over thirty-five thousand titles to choose from to be downloaded and played back anywhere, just like MuggleCast. Log on to to get a free audio book download of your choice when you sign up today. Again, go to for your free audio book.

Andrew: What else is going on, Micah?

News: Theme Park Update

Micah: Well, there are finally some details beginning to emerge about the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey dark ride at Universal’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park.

Matt: Ooh!

Micah: Screamscape reported earlier this week that the ride system inside Hogwarts Castle is installed and functional. However, all the scenery and special effects still need to be installed, programmed and tested extensively before we will see the ride open. They go on to reveal that your ride experience will begin and end with an interesting little effect that will transport you through the use of the Floo Network, a giant fireplace and green flames.

Jamie: I’ll bet that’s cool. I’ll bet that’s very cool.

Matt: Oh man. That’d be awesome if it was like the Tower of Terror ride at Walt Disney World or Disneyland? Like Floo powder?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: I – it – yeah but when I read that I thought that was awesome – an awesome idea to travel via Floo powder. This ride, I mean, this is going to be a really impressive ride. It’s been – we still don’t have many details on it yet but it’s been described as capturing all of Harry’s – what was the word Dan Radcliffe used – something about…

Matt: Forbidden journeys?

Andrew: No, his…

[Matt and Micah laugh]

Andrew: The chaotic parts of his life. So it’s basically going to be a mash up of all these and you’re going to be thrown around through this ride as you’re, you know, avoiding the Whomping Willow and stuff like that. It should be really cool.

Matt: Is this – is Harry – are they going to have, like, animatronic Harry’s?

Andrew: I don’t know. Why?

Matt: I don’t know.

Andrew: Do you want to go make love to one?

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Matt: If I’m – if I have a seatbelt, then no.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Matt, there’d be no love in that relationship if you did that with an animatronic Harry. He’d just use you. He’d just use you for what he wants and throw you away.

Matt: Fine, they have no emotions.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, it should be very cool. Jamie, do you think – I mean, you are a U.K. resident. Are you going to find yourself making a trip over to Orlando?

Jamie: Probably not specifically for this ride but if I was there…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …or around in that area, I would absolutely make a special journey to go down there and go on it. It does sound very, very good.

Andrew: Well, yeah, I mean not just the ride but the park as a whole.

Jamie: I’d like to go, yeah. I’d just be scared that it wouldn’t live up to the hype that – because, you know, marketing nowadays, it just builds stuff up and builds stuff up…

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: …and they use such good techniques to make it sound so awesome that I just worry I’d pay my money to get there and it would just, you know, be like a fall from grace type of thing.

Andrew: Yeah. I have something to confess. I am not impressed with Hogwarts Castle.

Jamie: You aren’t, really?

Andrew: How they – because if you – it’s pretty much finished being built and, you know, there’s tons of construction photos but it’s not – one of – it’s not Hogwarts. It’s very – I don’t know. It just looks like half of Hogwarts. There’s not many big pillar – big towers, and even Steve Kloves, he admitted in the Ultimate Editions that he wasn’t happy with how Hogwarts looked in the first couple of films, and now they really have this chance to make Hogwarts look amazing to – you know, through our own eyes in person, and I don’t know…

Jamie: I doubt they can afford to, though, can they…

Matt: I know.

Jamie: …like, make it extra awesome?

Andrew: Well…

Matt: I don’t know if they have all that room to make it an ultimate Harry Potter

Jamie: And all that money. It’s still got to make money.

Matt: …Hogwarts Castle.

Andrew: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe they’ll expand later. I’m just not that impressed with it.

Matt: Well, that’s what they did in the films. Maybe they’ll do it in the park.

Jamie: Yeah. Yeah, that’s true. Yeah.

Matt: Add on to it.

Jamie: If it makes money.

Andrew: [laughs] Add on to it.

Micah: Are you not impressed because only half the castle is there?

Andrew: Yeah, basically. I mean, when you look at the construction photos, it’s – like, it’s cool.

Jamie: Just close one eye.

Matt: Are you upset it’s not to scale, Andrew?

Andrew: No, not the scale thing. I think they’re using tricks to make it look like it’s really far away by making it look really big, if that makes sense.

[Matt laughs]

Andrew: You know, never mind. I don’t want to get too deep into this conversation but, personally, I’m not – I guess we’ll have to wait to see when it actually opens up but right now it’s just like, eh.

Andrea: Do we know if we’re going to be able to walk through the castle or is it going to be like Cinderella’s Castle where there’s nothing there?

Andrew: Well, the ride is going to be based – this Forbidden Journey ride, is going to be in the castle. So, I don’t think we’re actually going to walk in it. When they first announced this park people were like, “Oh wow! We’re going to be able to go into Hogwarts and eat in the Great Hall!” But I don’t think it’s going to be like that at all. The castle is just for exterior display.

Matt: Well, it’s not a whole theme park. It’s just a land in the theme park, too, so, that was the original idea everybody was thinking that it’s a whole theme park dedicated to Harry Potter.

Andrew: Well, it still is a theme park – I mean, they’re putting two hundred million dollars into this project, so…

Matt: Right.

Andrew: It’s – it’s…

Matt: But 80 million is probably per ride or something like that.

Andrew: Yeah, I guess so.

Micah: Yeah, but I was going to ask Jamie, though, are you going to go out and get yourself a copy of the Daily Telegraph this weekend?

Jamie: Is there something free in it?

Micah: [laughs] Yeah, there actually is. There’s going to be a DVD of the theme park for promoting it.

Jamie: [laughs] Oh, right, yeah I probably will then. It’s only like twenty – fifty pence.

Andrew: But I’m wondering if this is the same thing that was included on the Half-Blood Prince DVD.

Micah: It might be.

Jamie: It probably is. I doubt they would do something new just for a newspaper.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Jamie: They always give away free stuff, normally its rubbish. So, I don’t know. It might not be, it could be something new.

Andrew: The Telegraph describes the DVD as, you can watch interviews with the stars of the film series and get a sneak peek of the amazing new rides and attractions. You can also view an exclusive 3D tour of the theme park and it says brilliant interactive with you computer, including print-outs, downloads, and an interactive attraction map that’s just like the version from the films. So it sounds like the stuff we’ve seen on the DVD.

Jamie: Probably, probably just rehashed stuff or…

Andrew: Yeah…

Micah: Well, Andrew – I mean, Jamie, that’s Saturday. Sunday, you can get a mouse pad. A free mouse pad.

Jamie: A free mouse pad! [laughs]

Micah: Now, that might be more valuable.

Jamie: Does it have the theme park on it? Is it…

Andrew: Yeah!

Jamie: A mouse pad with the theme park?

Andrew: Yeah, what else is going on, Micah? [laughs]

News: Half-Blood Prince Still Newsworthy

Micah: Well, Half-Blood Prince is still in the news. Geez. The Academy of Motion Picture…

[Jamie and Micah laugh]

Micah: …Arts and Sciences announced that only seven films remain in the running for the visual effects category for the 82nd annual Academy Awards and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince remains in the running, and the list is going to be narrowed down to three on January the 21st. What do we think?

Matt: What do you mean, “still in the running?” Have others been dropping off or something?

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: Really?

Micah: Well, I think they start off with more, don’t they? Then just seven, and then they get it down to seven and then to three.

Matt: They drop like flies?

Micah: Yeah, they drop like flies. Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, there’s some weird process that goes on but…

Micah: They drop like Dumbledore.

Jamie: Ooh! That is controversial!

[Everybody laughs]

Andrew: Has any Harry Potter film ever won an Academy Award?

Matt: I think it’s won set design or something.

Andrew: Matt, look that up.

Matt: Okay.

Andrew: Because I don’t think – I mean I’m excited that Half-Blood Prince has gotten this far but the Harry Potter films have never been seen as Academy Award material.

Micah: Right.

Andrew: They’re really good but I guess they just never make it over that jump – that hurtle.

Jamie: Are they made for that really? I don’t know, if you look at The Lord of the Rings and the amount of money they pump into like, set design and costume design and stuff like that. It is good on Harry Potter but everyone expects the costumes to be a certain way and expects certain things to be a certain way. So I don’t know if I’d call them ground-breaking in special effects or direction or anything like that, they’re just good at what they do.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Maybe.

Andrew: I think that’s the best way to put it.

Micah: And who…

Andrew: And yeah…

Micah: Do we think that they’re going to do well, though? I mean, in this…

Jamie: They might do well.

Micah: …particular category.

Andrew: I guess.

Micah: I don’t know who it’s up against.

Andrew: I mean Half-Blood Prince visual effects, they were great. We never see any corny special effects in the Harry Potter films. I mean, there are a couple exceptions but right now it’s up against Avatar and…

Jamie: Wow. It’s probably on to a loser then.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s competing right now against Avatar, District 9, Star Trek, Terminator Salvation, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and 2012. So, I think Avatar is going to win that.

Micah: Yeah, you’re probably right. But I noticed that as is usually the case, Half-Blood Prince was nominated for a tonne of BAFTAs.

Andrew: Right.

Micah: And I’m sure they’ll win at that ceremony.

Andrew: Yeah, they always win at the BAFTAs, don’t they?

Jamie: Someone once told me off once, like I said that the BAFTAs were crap versions of the Oscars.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: And someone told me that’s really really bad, you should be really proud of them because they’re British and stuff, and I was like, “Well, no, they’re really not that impressive.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Whereas the Oscars are the actual award ceremonies, but maybe that’s a bit harsh.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: That’s like somebody telling you you should be proud of Hitler because he was German, if you were German.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: But I don’t know if that’s a perfect analogy.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: But it’s along the same lines, right?

Jamie: Well, [laughs] maybe kind of, yeah.

[Matt and Micah laugh]

Andrew: Maybe that’s discussion for another time.

Jamie: Maybe that is, yeah.

Micah: But wrapping this up on Half-Blood Prince though, Michael Gambon was also nominated for an award. For an Irish Film Television award, for his role as Dumbledore. So he finally got nominated for something after all these films that he’s done.

Andrew: Hallelujah.

Jamie: I know! And he’s an awesome actor as well.

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: Is there any awards…

Jamie: Do you know a really weird fact about him?

Matt: …award, any of the Oscars, any of the Harry Potter films have won.

Andrew: What were you saying, Jamie?

Jamie: Do you want to hear a really weird fact about him, Michael Gambon?

Andrew: Yeah, please.

Jamie: He owns fourteen laves.

Andrew: What’s a lave?

Jamie: Lave. You know, the like turning thing. Woodwork. Metal work stuff. A lave. For like, turning. Do you know that?

Matt: Like a steering wheel?

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Like a steering wheel!

Andrew: No, I don’t, no, I really don’t.

Jamie: I’ll get it off of Wikipedia so…

Andrew: Are they very expensive or something?

Jamie: Well, not really but just like, you only need one, to be honest.

Andrew: Wow.

Jamie: It’s a machine tool that spins a block of material to perform various operations such as cutting, sanding…

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: …drilling, stuff like that. And he’s got fourteen of them for some reason.

Andrew: Does he have a fetish for them or something?

Jamie: I don’t know! Perhaps he does. But he’s a huge fan of them and he’s got that many of them.

Matt: Huh.

Andrew: Well, good luck to Michael Gambon for being nominated in this. See, I think it’s very well deserved at this point. He’s up against Simon Delaney for Happy Ever Afters, Michael Fassbender for Fish Tank, and Aidan Quinn for The Eclipse.

Matt: I only know Aidan Quinn.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: I don’t know any of those people.

Andrew: What else is going on, Micah? Onward!

News: Deathly Hallows Seven Potters Set Report

Micah: All right, final piece of news here. Empire Magazine released a little bit of a Deathly Hallows set report over the course of the last few weeks and the page-long report included new comments from Dan Radcliffe and he said, “The single most complicated sequence we’ve done in any of the films…” – he’s referring to the Seven Potters scene, – “Everyone’s changing into me and nobody really knows what’s going on. I’m dressed up as everyone else, and they’re dressing up as me. And well, it’s very confusing.” My question is: why would he have to dress up as everyone else?

Andrew: Yeah, I don’t get what – I think he just – you know how Dan starts to ramble sometimes?

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: I think that’s what he got caught in. [laughs]

Andrea: Well, maybe it was part of the transformation, though as he’s changing from say, Hermione to Harry. Could be.

Andrew: Oh, yeah, maybe.

Jamie: Actually, yeah that’s probably it.

Andrew: Well, we’ll have to see. That’s pretty cool. I’ve said for a long time now that this is my favorite scene in the book and…

Jamie: It will be an amazing scene, yeah.

Matt: Yeah, it’s going to be awesome.

Micah: There was also a little bit from David Yates and he said he, “watched the first assembly of Part I just last week and the most interesting dynamic is that you’re taking these three characters we know quite well away from the comforts of Hogwarts, and you really can’t underestimate the odd power of that.” He sounds like he’s rambling a bit too.

Jamie: I was going to say, that’s been done before. They haven’t always been at Hogwarts all the time so, maybe it’s just because they aren’t there at all that it’s different.

Andrew: Yeah, I guess that’s what he’s saying. But the whole buzz word with this movie is “road movie.” “Road movie.”

Jamie: Aw!

Andrew: In Half-Blood Prince it was comedy, comedy, sex, drugs, rock and roll!

Jamie: Road movie? Are they going to be in a camper van…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …going down a road travelling the length of the country, chilling out?

Andrew: It’s like that Steve Carell movie where they’re in that yellow bus. What is that movie?

Matt: Little Miss Sunshine?

Andrew: Little Miss Sunshine, yeah, it’s going to be like that. But I’m already sick of that phrase, and they were using it at the Half-Blood Prince junkets. Now, oh, “it’s a road movie, a road movie, a road movie.” That’s all we’re going to hear between now and November.

Jamie: That’s annoying.

Micah: Yeah, but it is cool that he has already looked at Part I.

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, it is. I wonder when – because they did this interview six or seven months ago and he was quoted as saying “last week.” So was it last week six or seven months ago, or last week three weeks ago when this article came out?

Jamie: You know what that’s like? Like, a real world analogy to that? You know when you walk past somewhere and there is a poster up and it says, like, this band playing here, and then there’s the word “tonight”?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: And you’re like, did they post this yesterday, so I’m actually a day late?

Andrew: Right. [laughs]

Jamie: Or can I go and see them tonight?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Jamie: It’s the stupidest thing in the world, when people do that.

Andrew: Yeah, well it’s sort of like in an e-mail, when somebody will be like, “Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?” And you read it two days after you get the e-mail…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s why I – I’m a very good writer – I’ll put “tomorrow” and then in quotations or in parentheses I’ll put “Thursday.”

Jamie: Andrew, that is genius.

Andrew: Thank you.

Jamie: That is absolutely genius!

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: I am a great communicator. That’s what I pride myself on.

Andrea: Way to go.

Jamie: Are you a 2.0 communicator?

[Andrea and Andrew laugh]

Micah: If you were such a great communicator, I don’t think MuggleNet would have been down over the past few weeks.

Matt: [laughs] Oh ho!

Jamie: That’s true.

Matt: Oh, that’s…

Andrew: I’m not going to point fingers, but I will guarantee you all, 100%…

[Matt laughs]

MuggleNet Downtime

Andrew: …that this was not my doing. So let’s talk about that. As everyone knows, MuggleNet was down for almost a week…

Jamie: A week!

Andrew: …and it was not fun. I swear to you all, this was paining me as much as it was paining you. I laid in bed unable to sleep. It bothered me that people could not go on the site. I resorted to things that were very out of my character.

[Matt laughs]

Jamie: Like what? Like what? What did you do?

Andrew: I can’t say it on the show. It’s very dark, very dark stuff. It’s like a road movie.

Matt: He was cleaning, he was outside, he was running around…

Andrew: I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had to go outside. And what is this thing in the sky? It’s so bright! But anyway…

Jamie: You should’ve gone to a counsellor or something.

Andrew: So MuggleNet was down and we attempted to move servers. We are so sorry that it was down. We know people rely on the site a lot for their news, and that’s why it bothered me. It bothered a lot of us. But since we were down for such a long period of time, we decided to let people know why we were down. And the reason is, we are getting ready for a new version of MuggleNet, and we’re calling it MuggleNet 2.0, because this is really the first time the site has had a major overhaul. And we posted a preview, a little visual preview, on the site the other day. It gives you a glimpse into what the new site is going to be. You can check it out on We made the news post on January 11th. And we’re really excited about it. It’s going to have a lot of new features, we have a whole new design. We’re getting some feedback and we may incorporate some of that feedback into the final design. One of the major things that we are doing is changing the body of the site where the news is posted and where the content sits to white, black text on white. That’s obviously reverse of what we have right now which is white text on black. Some people are actually disappointed that we’re changing it. So I’m thinking what we may do is create an option so people can switch back and forth. If you don’t want the white background and black text you can switch it to the black background on white text. Dylan, Emerson’s brother…

Jamie: Oh, really? Because I forgot who Dylan was for a second there. [laughs]

Andrew: No, I’m explaining it to the audience. [laughs] We’re really excited about it. It’s going to have a lot of cool new features. Check it out on The new design, it’s going to be a few weeks before it’s up because we’re actually still moving the site. So it’s a whole big thing. But we apologize for the site downtime. And it pained us. Trust me. It wasn’t fun.

Andrea: Did you see the loving death threats we got?

Andrew: Yeah, I saw you tweeted about that. What were you talking about? Where were the death threats?

Matt: We got a death threat?

Andrea: Well, they were very loving, I’m sure. Full of love. They said they would… [laughs]

Matt: [creepy voice] I will kill you!

Andrea: …exterminate us one by one if we didn’t warn them again. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh, geez. Well, that’s good. That means they really care about the site.

Micah: Or are mentally disturbed.

Andrew: We’re glad you care so much you would kill us. That’s all for news, right?

Micah: That’s it.

Andrew: Well let’s get to Muggle Mail now. Matt, could you read the first e-mail please?

Muggle Mail: Harry’s Stubbornness

Matt: Our first e-mail comes from Nick Worley, 15, from Little Rock, Arkansas. He writes:

“Hey MuggleCasters! I’m re-reading ‘Deathly Hallows’ and I was wondering why Harry was being so stubborn when he refused to accept help with his mission from Lupin and other people who offered to help Harry. I know that Dumbledore told him to only tell Ron and Hermione, but Harry still could have used the help and protection. Thoughts? You guys are doing awesome and keep up the great show.”

Jamie: He’s just stubborn, isn’t he?

Andrew: Yeah, he really is.

Jamie: Not to put too fine a point on it, he’s just stubborn.

Andrew: No, I think you’re right. He trusted Dumbledore when Dumbledore said, “Keep it between yourselves,” and I think he was absolutely right to tell Lupin to stay with his family.

Jamie: Was it his job to do that though? Is it the job of a teenager to tell him what he should and should not do with his family?

Andrew: Well he was getting into Harry’s business by asking if he could help, if he could join Ron and Hermione.

Jamie: Altruistically though.

Matt: Yeah. He was all up in his business.

[Andrea and Jamie laughs]

Jamie: Up in his face? [laughs]

Andrew: Jamie if you were in Harry’s position would you have brought Lupin along with you…

Jamie: I…

Andrew: Or would you have told him to stay with his family?

Jamie: I don’t know – I’d like to think I handled a bit more maturely than Harry did and not say the stuff he did, which I thought was kind of…

Andrew: Mhm.

Jamie: …mean. Because Lupin is in quite a tough situation. I think I certainly – I read the books and Jo doesn’t really always make it clear how much of an outcast Lupin is. I think when you re-read the bits that he says, it’s sort of like no one accepts him. It’s like being on the sex offenders register, really, of the Wizarding World type thing.

Andrew: Good way of looking at it.

Jamie: Oh thanks, thanks.

[Andrew, Jamie and Micah laugh]

Jamie: Yeah and everyone hates – no one talks to him, no one trusts his opinion and he wants to feel useful, and he thinks he’s done this terrible thing to his family. He thinks he’s inflicted this horrible disease on his son, and the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons and he feels he’s responsible for that. And so he wants to make himself feel useful when there’s nothing he can do back home. I think it’s a noble cause. Perhaps he should stay with his family, but I think Harry’s a bit insensitive, really, when he’s just trying to help.

Andrew: Yeah, I suppose you’re right.

Andrea: He also grew up without a father though, so I think he’s thinking of Teddy at that point.

Jamie: That is definitely true, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: Mhm.

Andrew: And as we find out, though, at the end of the book it all sort of comes full circle when Teddy loses his parents. So…

Micah: But the other thing is, if you look at the end of the book, the whole conversation that Harry sees between Dumbledore and Snape, Dumbledore never reveals to Snape anything about the Horcruxes and I think that was kind of the theme that was going throughout the whole book. Only certain people can know this information because if it…

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: …starts to get out – even Lupin, I’m not saying he would willingly give up the information but the more people that know, the greater risk it posed to what Harry had to do.

Jamie: That’s true, as well. And Voldemort could have found out and then he could’ve put extra protection in. Harry found it hard enough to do what he had to do anyway. I think it’s that kind of thing where if anything else had gone wrong, it would have been quite hard for her to write plausibly that Harry had won. But that scene was so good with Snape and Voldemort at the end. Oh! It was such a good scene!

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, it was. Andrea, could you read the next e-mail please?

MuggleCast 189 Transcript (continued)

Muggle Mail: Invisibility Cloak

Andrea: Sure. This one comes from Helen, 26, from Hinsdale, Illinois. She says:

“Hi, everyone! I just listened to Episode 187 and in the discussion of chapter 14, Micah mentioned that he thought the reason Dumbledore seemed to be able to sense the presence of Ron and Harry under the Invisibility Cloak might be because he could sense the presence of one of the Deathly Hallows. J.K.R. actually addressed this question in the live online chat she did after the release of Book Seven. Jo was asked, “Why is it that Albus Dumbledore can see Harry under his Invisibility Cloak at certain moments? Is the Cloak only infallible to those who do not own a Deathly Hallow?” Jo responded, “Dumbledore, who could perform magic without needing to say the incantation aloud, was using ‘Hominum Revelio,’ the human presence revealing spell that Hermione makes use of in Deathly Hallows when she checked Grimmauld Place to see if it was empty.” It would have been cool if Dumbledore could sense the Deathly Hallows but sadly that wasn’t the case. I love you all, Helen.”

Andrew: So, there’s the explanation.

Micah: You know, I don’t like that answer.

[Everyone laughs]

Matt: I don’t like it! It’s logical!

Jamie: No Micah…

Micah: No think about all the times in the series that you can just explain stuff away with Hominum Revelio. Think about all the times Harry could have been caught by Snape when he was out of bed under the Invisibility Cloak. Oh, Snape could have just said Hominum Revelio and there goes Harry!

Jamie: But, the thing that gets me about this thing is that I like complete stuff that’s so powerful that it can’t be undone, and a simple spell that Hermione can use to check if there are people in Grimmauld Place, you can just walk along and keep saying that spell and then the Invisibility Cloak would be completely useless against you. And since – what’s his name – Luna’s dad – I can’t believe I can’t remember his name. What’s his name?

Andrew: Xenophilius.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah, yeah of course. When he says, “Ah but a true cloak of invisibility doesn’t ever, ever fade,” and you just think, “My god! This is a really powerful object!” It’s like a light sabre or adamantium or something like that in X-men

Matt: Yeah.

Jamie: …If such a simple spell can just reveal this it can’t be that good.

Micah: Right.

Jamie: Which is such a shame because it’s such a cool object.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s sort of like the whole argument about, Alohomora. Why are there locks if you can just unlock it with Alohomora. [laughs]

Jamie and



Andrea: And I thought spells weren’t supposed to work on Harry’s invisibility cloak anyway. Like when they try to Accio it I think in, where was it – in Hogsmeade.

Andrew: Oh yeah they can’t get it.

Matt: That’s true.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Micah: It’s a much cooler answer to say that Dumbledore can sense the presence of a Deathly Hallow then to say he used this spell that – I mean, maybe it speaks to the power of Dumbledore. I don’t know maybe the spell is stronger with him casting it then somebody else. But…

Matt: Well he’s also had possession of the invisibility cloak for a while too.

Micah: Right.

Matt: So he may have been familiar with the presence that it has.

Andrew: Jamie could you read the next e-mail?

Muggle Mail: Ford Anglia

Jamie: Okay this comes from Miriasha, 13, from Burlington, Vermont. She writes:

“Hey I was listening to Episode 187 and I have something to add to your discussion about what magic Mr. Weasley put on the car to give it a personality. I wonder if it had anything to do with the magic surrounding Hogwarts and especially the Forbidden Forest. In the fourth book when Ron thinks that Harry should bring in an Aqua Lung in order to breathe underwater for the second task, Hermione tells Harry and Ron that Muggle things go crazy when they get near Hogwarts. Also in the first book, when Neville falls off his broomstick in their first flying lesson, instead of falling to the ground the broomstick lazily flies towards the Forbidden Forest. I think that there are so many magical creatures and just magical pull in the forest that it just gives items personalities. What do you guys think? I also want to say that is episode 186, you were talking about Hermione and Harry dancing and how Harry was trying to cheer Hermione up, and one of you said that Harry was trying to cheer her up because Hermione was down that Harry had left. I don’t know if anyone noticed this but I wanted to point it out. I love the podcast and I’ve been listening since the beginning, never stopped.

Andrew: I guess we meant Ron in regard to that second point that Hermione was down…

Jamie: Hermione, yeah.

Andrew: …that Ron left, but…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: In response to her first…

Jamie: Interesting thought, isn’t it?

Andrew: Yeah, that’s a good way to look at it because, Jamie, we were wondering why the car had such a personality…

Jamie: Oh, right.

Andrew: …and in Chamber of Secrets.

Jamie: Don’t they use the words – when it comes back, they say it looks all crazy and crazed. It’s got like mud and dirt on it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: So I guess that does do that to you, living in the forbidden forest. It changes you, and it makes you crazy.

Andrew: It turns you into a warrior.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah. [laughs] Makes you primal.

Andrew: [laughs] Primal exactly. Micah, could you read the next e-mail.

Muggle Mail: Ultimate Editions in Australia

Micah: The next e-mail comes from Rhiannon, 16, from Australia, and she says:

G’Day, guys, and Laura – and Andrea. First of all…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Andrea!

Micah: Andrea, sorry.

Andrea: It’s all right.


First of all, I love your podcast, especially since I live in an Australian country town and I often feel isolated from the Harry Potter community. I’ve been re-listening to some of your podcasts. I was listening to number 181, and I have a question. You’ve all talked about the Ultimate Editions being fantastic with lots of special features on them, which teased me so much that I was wondering they have any chance of being released in Australia? I’ve asked every Australia fan I know, and we haven’t heard anything. Once again, I love the podcast, keep up the great work. Rhiannon. P.S. You still have a lot of Australian fans.

Andrew: Was there any doubt?

Micah: No.

Andrew: I don’t remember doubting that, but…

[Matt sighs]

Andrew: …thanks for writing in about this because – okay – the Ultimate Editions came out in the U.S., but they still haven’t been in the U.K. and Australia. We still don’t know when they’re going to be released. We actually recently contacted Warner Brothers to find out about this, and Nick, who works on MuggleNet, he inquired, and we should be hearing back soon. So we don’t know, but it is kind of odd that they haven’t released these internationally yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see, but we will let you know on if we get some dates.

Jamie: Perhaps they’re…

Andrew: So that’s that.

Jamie: …waiting for a special occasion or something. I don’t know what, but they might be.

Andrew: Yeah. I guess so. They released them here in the beginning of December when the Half-Blood Prince DVD came out, so many are wondering why they didn’t the same time before the holidays where they live.

Matt: Hmmm.

Muggle Mail: Nude Scenes

Andrew: Anyway, final e-mail from today comes from Harper Stevenson, 14, from the U.S. of A. He writes about the nude scene conjecture.

“Something I’ve noticed that’s really been bothering me is the nude scene conjecture. Had none of the hosts seem to remember that Harry wakes up and finds robes before Dumbledore makes the scene? He wakes up, realizes he’s nude, and robes appear for him to wear. Then Dumbledore appears or walks in or whatever, and they chat, and Harry goes back to being alive. Just thought I’d clear that up since the conjecture has now been active for a few episodes now. Rather nit-picky since Harry Potter was the first book series I ever really read, back when I was six…

Jamie: He just died. I don’t think he’s really going to care about being naked is he?

Andrew: [laughs] Well, Arthur’s right. The thing is Jamie, we were talking about the story, there’s going to be two nude scenes in Deathly Hallows. They confirmed it, that Dan’s going to be naked…

Jamie: Oh right.

Andrew: …for this. And we had joked on one of the shows that, “Oh Harry’s going to be naked in front of Dumbledore. Dumbledore’s gay. Blah blah.” So – but that was just a joke. To be honest, I forgot that Harry puts on clothes before seeing Dumbledore, but I did remember this later on. I think someone else wrote in too.

Micah: I was going to say, joke: something said or done be invoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch-line.

[Matt laugh]

Andrew: Yeah so we were just kidding around and – but that is a good thing to clarify. Thank you Harper for pointing that out. And that does it for Muggle Mail this week, it’s time now for Chapter-by-Chapter. And also, later in the show we have a very special British Joke of the Day…

Jamie: No don’t say that.

Andrew: …I don’t know why it’s special.

Jamie: Like I was going to say; it’s not that good.

Andrew: [laughs] We have a British Joke of the Day, and Jamie in true form is playing it down. [laughs]

Jamie: Well I should cover my back.

Andrew: All right and so like I said at the beginning of the show, these are chapters sixteen through eighteen of Chamber of Secrets. This is our final installment of Chapter-by-Chapter.

Matt: Ever.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: And Micah’s going to lead us in the first two chapters, and then I will lead Chapter 18, the final chapter.

Micah: All right!

Andrew: So over to you Micah!

Chapter-by-Chapter: “The Chamber of Secrets”

Micah: All right! Chapter 16: “The Chamber of Secrets.” Just like the title of the book. So, this chapter opens up, Harry and Ron have just almost been killed and eaten by Aragog, and they discuss Moaning Myrtle being the girl killed fifty years ago and how they’re going to sneak away to see her, when they realize that they have much more preshing – pressing issues and those are the exams, and its – it’s kind of like a comical part of the book where they’ve completely forgotten about exams because of what’s been going on with all their fellow students being attacked – I know Andrew you put here; “Is it merely a sign of immaturity that they’re complaining about still having to take their exams?”

Andrew: Yeah, well, I got kind of annoyed when I read this because – I was thinking; why are they still complaining that they have exams? I mean of course you would still have exams! It’s not like all the students have had anything else to occupy their time! I mean the monsters been scaring them but they haven’t been all searching for it or anything. They still have time to study for exams. I just found it very immature.

Jamie: Can I just say here, that this is really weird because you know, there’s a monster going about killing people in this castle, and they still have exams. Okay? We have had a bit of snowfall here and 9,000 schools have been closed in the United Kingdom.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: So…

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Does that say something about Britain?

Andrew: Well you guys aren’t prepared.

Jamie: No.

Micah: No…

Andrew: I don’t know.

Micah: …it’s just different in the magical world.

Matt: Yeah. Well I think that maybe J.K. Rowling uses the whole exam thing just so kids can still feel related to the trio.

Jamie: Maybe, yeah.

Matt: Like they have exams, just like I do or something. I mean, it doesn’t really make any sense anyway putting it in, but I mean, that’s the only explanation I can think of.

Micah: I think it just shows how young they are. I mean how immature they are. Like you said, Andrew, they’re not grown up yet, and they’re caring about…

Matt: Yeah.

Micah: It just shows how their minds are working at that time.

Matt: [impersonating Ron] “They need to sort out their priorities.”

[Andrea and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: They do. They really do. What were you going to say Andrea?

Andrea: It’s probably just J.K. Rowling making sure that everyone realizes they’re still in school. Like they’re 12 years old, they do have school. They have classes and I guess it might be a little bit responsible I guess. Although I guess they’re not studying, so…

Andrew: Well I guess it is a good way to keep them responsible. But regardless, I just don’t see why they would complain, but anyway…

[Andrea laughs]

Micah: So Professor McGonagall announces that everyone that has been petrified is about to be restored later on that evening. I pulled a quote that says:

“Just then Ginny Weasley came over and sat down next to Ron. She looked tense and nervous, and Harry noticed that her hands were twisting in her lap. Ginny didn’t say anything, but glanced up and down the Gryffindor table with a scared look on her face that reminded Harry of someone, though he couldn’t think who.”

And just a couple minutes later, Harry realizes that she reminds him of Dobby when he was nervous and about to reveal vital information. But Percy, in the end, ends up scaring her away. And there’s actually – somebody sent in a Tweet down here, Ginny said she had something to say that was so important, and I was wondering if it was that important, why didn’t they go after her?

Andrew: I don’t know. That’s a good question. Maybe they just got caught up in trying to figure out what the thing was. You know, they were trying to figure out what was attacking Hogwarts, so they totally forgot.

Jamie: Yeah, maybe.

Micah: Yeah.

Jamie: They just didn’t think.

Andrea: Maybe they believed Percy when he said it was just something he found, that she saw him doing something. I don’t know, could be just gullible.

Matt: Maybe they wanted the book to last longer too.

Micah: Yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: Well, I think…

Andrew: Yeah. Well that would have been interesting if Ginny had. What would had have happened? What if?

Micah: She never would have gotten taken, maybe, into the Chamber of Secrets. As Matt said, it would have been a shorter book.

[Andrea laughs]

Micah: But that question was Tweeted in by 7Lia7.

Andrew: This part here reminded me of – I keep going back to this. I do it quite frequently. When Laura came up with that amazing discussion on the books being symmetrical to one another. I can’t remember if she noted this in her discussion that we did, but this is a good comparison between Books – this moment is a good comparison between Books two and six, because in both of them we see Dumbledore departing and McGonagall taking over. It’s just another example of the books being symmetrical. One is close to seven, two is close to six, three is close to four – er, three is close to five. So, just wanted to point that out.

Micah: Well speaking of McGonagall, Ron and Harry then try to sneak off to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom on the way to one of their classes. They are able to get away from Lockhart after convincing him that he doesn’t need to take them the rest of the way, and of course, Lockhart’s gullible, and will do anything that anybody says. So they end up being called by McGonagall as they’re going to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, and they feed her this completely B.S. story about how they’re going to visit Hermione in the hospital wing. And it was kind of – it was weird, because you could see that McGonagall was very emotional about the whole thing, and it’s kind of almost as if Ron and Harry took advantage of her.

Andrew: Yeah, well that’s totally what happened.

Matt: Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.

Andrew: That is a really funny, sort of like a movie moment, though, it reminds me of, just like a typical, classic movie scene, where you try to do something like this, and the person gives in. And, do you think what they were doing was – like, McGonagall really felt for them at this moment, she was like, oh, of course, I totally understand. But regardless, I mean, you know, the Basilisk is still out and about, and why should McGonagall be okay with two kids sneaking around the school?

Matt: Do you think McGonagall knew it was a Basilisk?

Andrew: That doesn’t make a difference, though, I mean, he’s still – the fact still remains that, you know, they could be easily attacked, and why are they sneaking around? That’s not cool.

Micah: But the whole reason they end up going to see her is because of McGonagall, and that’s kind of how all the pieces of the puzzle come together…

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: When they go to see her in the hospital wing. So it’s almost as if, what would have happened if they went to see Moaning Myrtle, and didn’t go to see Hermione? They wouldn’t have figured as much out as they did.

Andrew: Maybe not as much, but I think Myrtle still would have had some valuable information for them.

Micah: All right. So they do get all the information about the Basilisk and everything that’s been happening around the school off of Hermione’s little piece of paper. And they decide that, finally, after, you know, sixteen and a half chapters, it’s a good idea to go talk to a teacher.

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: And they head off, I think, to the teacher’s room, to go speak with McGonagall. But they end up hiding in a, like a – I guess it’s like a storage closet that’s in the teacher’s room.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: And as they’re there, they hear over the PA McGonagall telling all the teachers to gather, and found out that Ginny has been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. And you get a little bit more comedy now with Lockhart stumbling in, and all the teachers saying that he that goes and tries to find out what the monster is, and defeat the monster. Do any of these professors honestly believe that Lockhart has any capability whatsoever?

Jamie: Well, more importantly it’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it? They’re saying, “Go on, you go and try. This girl could die, but you go and have a laugh, and we’ll laugh at you doing it…

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: …and then afterwards we’ll take it seriously.” It’s ridiculous.

Micah: [laughs] Well this whole scene – well this whole scene is ridiculous. Number one you mention Lockhart, he’s supposedly the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, none of them think he’s capable of doing anything whatsoever. And then later on, a few pages later, you hear about Percy’s casually sending an owl to his parents that…

[Jamie laughs]

Micah: …Ginny’s been taken by this monster and she could possibly be dead. Think about if you were at school and something happened to you. Wouldn’t somebody call your parents right away, not a couple of hours later have your brother send off a message to your parents that something terrible has happened to you?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: It does seem very odd. And the whole staffroom thing, [laughs] I – you’re totally right, Jamie. I mean, “We’ll take it seriously after it’s too late.”

Jamie: Mhm.

Andrew: That’s basically what they’re saying. And in a way it’s a weird thing. They’re doing this for themselves, it’s not so much about Ginny, because they want to see Lockhart fail first, it seems. I wonder if Dumbledore was there, I wonder what he would have ordered, if he would have ordered Lockhart to go after him, or if he would have sent Snape, or if he would have gone himself.

Andrea: It was probably just to get Lockhart out of the way, so he wouldn’t bug them when they were planning on something.

Andrew: So this was sort of like a mission to kill him?

Andrea: [laughs] Maybe. Well no just to get him out of the way while they plan on what they’re going to do about Ginny.

Andrew: Oh, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. [laughs]

Micah: And that’s the other question, though. With Dumbledore being gone, wasn’t there a way to reach him, for, say, Professor McGonagall to reach out to Dumbledore and get him back to the castle? I mean, we know that he later is reinstated, but it seems like a pretty soft way to have to get into the school, as opposed to knowing that the school is in danger and one of the students is in trouble, you’d think he would come back a lot quicker. So Ron and Harry head out and decide that they’re going to go see Lockhart, and it’s revealed that Lockhart is a fraud. Now I know we all read this book a long time ago, before we just re-read it now, but can anyone remember being surprised by this?

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: Honestly, I read this in 1999 so [laughs] I can’t remember.

Jamie: Have you not read it since?

Andrea: I don’t think I was.

[Matt laughs]

Andrew: No, I really haven’t.

Jamie: Andrew, that is shocking, for the lead host of MuggleCast to not have read the book for over a decade.

Andrew: I read the other books more times, but not this one.

Jamie: But, Andrew, over a decade! That’s…

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry.

Jamie: When did you last read Twilight?

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: Oh, just last week. I mean, I’ve read that fifty times. [laughs]

Jamie: You traitor.

Micah: So, Harry ends up using Expelliarmus on Lockhart before he can use a Memory Charm on him and Ron, and I thought everyone makes so much about the fact that Snape was the first person to teach Harry his signature spell, and I took the quote out and it said:

“‘They shouldn’t have let Professor Snape teach us that one,’ said Harry furiously, kicking Lockhart’s trunk aside.”


Andrew: Well, going back real quick, does anybody remember being surprised by – by discovering Lockhart was a fraud?

Andrea: No. [laughs] I don’t think I was. I think I was just appalled that he was running away.

Andrew and



Andrea: I was ten I think, so…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: After the pixies it was quite – that was explicitly saying he was just useless.

Andrew: Right.

Jamie: He couldn’t do a thing.

Andrew: Yeah, I guess I – I can say I was probably really shocked when I saw that he was moving out, fleeing Hogwarts.

Matt: He was just too good to be true, Andrew. You should have seen the signs.

Andrew: He was too good to be true.

Micah: So, they end up forcing Lockhart to go with them into the Chamber of Secrets, and they get to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, and she tells them of how she died, and this kind of confirms the whole Basilisk theory. And they open up the Chamber of Secrets, they slide down the pipe, and there’s that whole scene where Lockhart tries to get back in charge and ends up erasing his own memory, which is kind of comical.

Jamie: But, that’s such an interesting point because if he’d actually wiped their memories and brought them back up the entire series would have developed in such a different way. That’s such an interesting point.

Andrew: You think so?

Jamie: Well – well no. I think it’s just an interesting point that it didn’t work. I know that the – the teachers didn’t trust him and probably wouldn’t believe him. But as we’ve seen throughout the books the word of children isn’t really counted for much and Jo has that running through and she thinks – and Dumbledore even says that age is stupid when it forgets the something of youth – some energy of youth or something, and I think they’d have a hard time convincing people that a teacher’s word of events was a complete lie.

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true.

Jamie: It is funny, though. It’s funny, what happens.

Andrea: This is where Ron…

Matt: Hilarious, Jamie.

Andrea: This is where Ron learns his Parseltongue.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Andrew: And this does begin a very interesting series of events throughout the rest of the books where we learn that – oh, wow, we’re going to get a different Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher every year…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …and there are several hints in this book about that going on. I know there’s one point Dumbledore says that he just does not have good luck filling that position. So…

Chapter-by-Chapter: “The Heir of Slytherin”

Micah: So, we move on to Chapter 17, “The Heir of Slytherin,” and it opens with Harry finding Ginny lying on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets with Tom Riddle standing nearby. And he says, “If I say it myself Harry, I’ve always been able to charm the people I needed.”

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: And I thought this was kind of an interesting comment as he goes through talking about how he was able to get Ginny to do his bidding, and you think back on some of the other characters that he’s been able to influence throughout the series that we see later on. Obviously Slughorn…

Matt: That is such a great parallel to Book 6.

Micah: It is!

Matt: That line.

Jamie: Especially Ravenclaw’s daughter, such a cool thing in the books!

Matt: Yeah.

Jamie: That he charmed her. And…

Matt: And Hepzibah – the Hufflepuff chick.

Jamie: Chick?

Micah: I wouldn’t call her the Hufflepuff chick…

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Not unless you’re into seventy year old grannies or something.

[Jamie laughs]

Matt: She’s the ultimate cougar in the Wizarding World.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: That’s funny man.

Micah: And in this chapter we start to get a lot of Horcrux references. Tom Riddle talks about being powerful enough to start “feeding Ms. Weasley a few of my secrets, to start pouring a little of my soul back into her,” and it’s interesting reading this book now – I don’t know what you guys thought – but we’re starting to see all these Horcrux references that were there early on.

Matt: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, absolutely.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: And some people – I read some – some blogger, some dumb blogger said a few weeks ago and it really annoyed me. They pointed out that – I think it was a news article, I can’t remember where exactly – but they pointed out that, oh, the Harry Potter fans, they really overanalyze everything,” and if J.K. Rowling had actually set the book up – the series up, this intricately to the point of all their theorizing actually makes sense. She actually thought about the things that they’re thinking about, Jo still wouldn’t be done writing Book 1 yet, and I think, no, that’s absolutely not true! Jo really did set all this up. This theorizing that we do, it all makes sense, it was all set up by her.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: And that’s what makes the series so amazing and Chamber of Secrets is where we really start seeing some of the deeper stuff, and that comes back into play five, six books later.

Matt: Mhm.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: Four or five books later.

Micah: Yeah, well didn’t she say that she was thinking of Half-Blood Prince to be the title of the second book or…

Matt: Yeah.

Micah: Or she was thinking of almost exchanging the two places in the series.

Andrew: Yeah!

Micah: Yeah, so…

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true.

Micah: So we learn that Tom Riddle has been controlling Ginny through the diary and that he framed Hagrid for opening the Chamber of Secrets and he mentions that Dumbledore was the only one who thought, really, that there was something wrong with all of that. But, again, we talked about Dumbledore before in this book and it’s like, why didn’t he do anything if he thought that there was something wrong – going wrong here?

Jamie: He’s a politician though, Dumbledore. That’s probably why he didn’t ever want to be Minister for Magic. He knows he can’t just come out and say something like they live in troubled times. And it’s – he knows although he’s powerful, he can’t just say whatever he wants. And also, people forget – I forget definitely that everyone knew about his back-story, and just because we didn’t know that everyone else knew, and I imagine he found it hard to stand up for things and do things like that because of his troubled past, maybe.

Matt: So we had a 12 year old boy do it for him?

Jamie: Well, yeah, maybe.

[Matt laughs]

Jamie: Perhaps he is a coward after all. Actually, I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but…

[Andrew, Jamie, and Matt laugh]

Andrew: It’s okay. It’s book dead.

Jamie: Yeah, that’s true. Book dead.

Micah: So…

Jamie: And film dead.

Micah: Kind of talking a little bit more about the first Horcrux where I guess it’s really revealed as when Riddle says, “But I wasn’t going to waste those long years I spent searching for it. I decided to leave behind a diary preserving my sixteen year old self in its pages so that one day with luck I would be able to lead another in my footsteps and finish Salazar Slytherin’s noble work.” And then he kind of coaxes Harry a bit to tell him just how he was able to survive the attack of Voldemort when he was just a baby. Now, I wanted to know, did you think that this is essential at all for Tom Riddle to find out this information or is it more for his ego that he just wants to know?

Andrew: I think it’s more for his ego.

Matt: Yeah. I mean, he knew when he was being transformed in Goblet of Fire.

Andrew: Right.

Matt: He knew everything.

Andrew: That’s a good point.

Matt: Maybe it’s his sixteen year old self asking him.

Micah: Could be.

Andrea: Maybe he just expects to come back and wants to know.

Micah: Now speaking of Salazar Slytherin, Andrew.

Andrew: Oh. I have a confession to make, Andrea.

Andrea: Mhm.

Andrew: So your last name is Salazar…

Andrea: Right

Andrew: …and I always thought that – you know how some people don’t want to put out their real last name on the internet?

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: I thought you sort of had Salazar as your name on everywhere just to…

Matt: Your alias.

Andrew: Yeah, it was your handle or something. And just before the show tonight, I’m like, “There’s so many Andrea Salazars, I didn’t realize that everyone wanted to do that with their name.”

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: I didn’t realize it was a popular last name. Just wanted to confess that.

Andrea: No, it’s real.

Andrew: Oh wow. That is something. You should make that your middle name and then you can be, well, and then make your last name Slytherin, that’d be…

Andrea: Slytherin. I should do that.

Andrew: Your initials wouldn’t be much to be desired, but…

Andrea: That’s true.

Jamie: Well, I will…

Andrew: A-S-S.

Jamie: Oh yeah, oh yeah. How rude, how rude!

[Andrea and Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Wash your mouth out!

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Andrew: That’s why I’m always thankful my family didn’t name me, didn’t make my middle name Steven or something, because I’d have very inappropriate initials. Anyway, go ahead, Micah. Back to this book.

Micah: All right. So Harry shows loyalty to Dumbledore which ends up leading to Fawkes showing up with the Sorting Hat, and after Harry demonstrates his loyalty Riddle ends up releasing the Basilisk. Now, this whole fight ensues where Fawkes ends up poking out the Basilisk’s eyes and…

Andrew: Caw, caw.

Micah: Exactly, and the Basilisk goes blind. And I thought it was kind of ironic that it’s this monster that ends up knocking the Sorting Hat into Harry’s hands. I think it’s kind of one of those J. K. Rowling things that – oh, isn’t it convenient that the Basilisk’s tail ends up knocking the thing that contains the weapon he needs to kill it right into his hands?

Andrew: [laughs] Well how far away was it from him? Is that ever described? I mean it wasn’t too far away, so Harry could have still went for it. But yeah, it does seem very, very intentional.

Jamie: Maybe it’s…

Micah: Well he’s cowering in the corner at that point. He’s like, “Please, please, somebody help me.” And then all of a sudden…

Andrew: And then it comes, right? Yeah…

Jamie: Yeah, but maybe it’s got powers that facilitate that. It needs to get there and it can’t just float there itself so it uses the Basilisk to do it or something – or something.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know.

Andrew: It just sort of jumped in front of the Basilisk…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: …Basilisk’s tail.

Jamie: and then…

Andrew: That’s a – that’s a – yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Micah: So Harry gets Gryffindor’s Sword out of the Hat. He kills the Basilisk, and he ends up being struck by one of the fangs that’s in – one of the Basilisk’s fangs. Now Fawkes ends up healing him, but I thought it’d be an interesting question to ask, what would have happened if he had died? I mean, would we have had sort of that King’s Cross scene, similar to what happened in Deathly Hallows?

Andrew: Well, Dumbledore wouldn’t have been there, right? Oh, well I guess he could’ve.

Micah: No, maybe not.

Jamie: No, no he wouldn’t. He wasn’t prepared, he wasn’t prepared to die. If the Snitch was there it wouldn’t have opened, so he wouldn’t have been ready to go to that King’s Cross scene. I don’t think he would’ve…

Micah: That’s true.

Jamie: …I think he’d have just died. Otherwise he could have done everything he needed to then. The whole point was Dumbledore preparing him throughout the books. But he’s very lucky.

Micah: It’s too early for him to die too I guess, right, in the series?

Andrea: Voldemort didn’t have Harry’s blood in him yet, so he wouldn’t have – well, I guess he wouldn’t have been able to come back.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: He wouldn’t have been in limbo, I guess is what I’m saying.

Jamie: And Jo wouldn’t have made so much money as well if it had ended there.

Micah: [laughs] Two books.

[Matt laughs]

Andrew: Right, its factor number one.

Micah: So something else that happens here is when Fawkes is trying to heal Harry, Riddle tries to use Harry’s wand to get Fawkes away. But would any spell work against a creature whose feather-hair – feather or hair is in the core? I thought…

Jamie: That’s an interesting point!

Micah: You think about…

Jamie: Very interesting!

Matt: Huh.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: I don’t know. Well, I think we see in this that – that – that’s the case, right? It won’t work against him. It won’t work against Fawkes.

Micah: Yeah, Fawkes just kind of flies away.

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: What did you think – I mean, this is something that I always wondered. This is kind of also in Book 5, but would you think since – that a wand made from the fabric of that magical animal – wouldn’t you think that the animal would have some type of protection against that wand? Because in Book 5 Voldemort blows up Fawkes against the fight with Dumbledore and I always just wondered – that’s Fawkes’ hair that just blew him up.

Jamie: That’s true, that’s – yeah. Maybe because it’s his hair that it blew him up. Like there’s some type of thing where they couldn’t handle the power and he blew up because of it, like he just exploded.

Matt: Well he didn’t just explode. I mean, he got reborn through the ashes, but…

Jamie: Maybe – yeah, it’s like a reset switch. It puts him back to a baby. But if he hadn’t been a phoenix – what happens if it’s like a unicorn wand and then it hits a unicorn with a spell?

Matt: I don’t know. I think unicorns have learned to stay away from Voldemort.

Jamie: Yeah, I agree.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: You’d be a stupid unicorn if you hadn’t.

Andrew: Okay, send in your feedback about that, listeners. We’d be interested hearing what you think about that.

Micah: So Fawkes delivers the diary to Harry and there’s this moment where Harry just somehow knows how to destroy it.

Andrew: Yeah, I wanted to ask about this. This seemed very scripted, like he just takes the basilisk fang and just starts stabbing it. I would’ve liked to have seen some logic here even though I don’t think Harry had much to go on.

Matt: I would just stab myself.

[Micah laughs]

Andrew: Why? Why would he be suicidal? [laughs]

Matt: I don’t know…

Jamie: Emo…

Matt: It was the first thing to go through my mind.

Jamie: Emo Harry.

Andrew: I mean – yeah.

Micah: So he saves Ginny…

Matt: I don’t know. Stabbing a diary with a fang. That’s the first thing that comes to my mind.

Jamie: Maybe you should see a counsellor as well, Matt.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, I think we need to take you to counselling. Go ahead, Micah.

Micah: Yes, so he saves Ginny and they exit the Chamber and they’re able to get back to where Ron and Lockhart are, and Lockhart is completely clueless as to where he is and eventually Fawkes shows back up. And I thought it was funny at the end that Lockhart refers to the ride on Fawkes as being “like magic.” And also that Moaning Myrtle is disappointed Harry wasn’t dead and couldn’t share her toilet. But there is an interesting point that Ron makes at the end when he says Myrtle has grown quite fond of Harry and that Ginny has some “competition.”

Andrew: Why did you find that interesting?

Micah: Well, you know, it’s kind of laying the groundwork a little bit.

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Matt: Hasn’t Ginny always had competition with Harry?

Andrew: Yeah, I mean, all the girls want Harry. He’s the Chosen One.

Micah: But early on. This is very early on.

Andrew: Yeah, true. He hasn’t developed yet into the man he ends up being.

Matt: Mhm.

Andrew: There was this great line in the movie, too, when Lockhart just yells “Just like magic!”

Micah: It’s better than Harry’s line in Goblet of Fire, where he says that he loves magic.

Matt: “I love magic!”

Jamie: Terrible line. That’s such a bad line.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: I can’t believe they left that in. I just – that must have escaped the editor’s room because…

Matt: Oh man, they didn’t just leave it in. They left three seconds before and after that, too.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, that’s true. That’s like…

Andrew: There’s always one moment…

Matt: They wanted you to “savor” that moment.

Jamie: It’s just a shame it didn’t work.

[Everyone laughs]

Matt: Not – yeah, not at all.

MuggleCast 189 Transcript (continued)

Chapter-by-Chapter: “Dobby’s Reward”

Andrew: All right, and that leads us into the final chapter – Chapter 18, “Dobby’s Reward.” They enter McGonagall/Dumbledore’s office and they find Mr. and Mrs. Weasley there – and Dumbledore, he’s back now, and of course, McGonagall. And…

Matt: [laughs] Of course.

Andrew: When we see them coming back, I wonder – you know, why were they all sort of just chilling in there waiting? Why didn’t Dumbledore or McGonagall see the need to go down there and try to fight with the Trio? Was it just destiny that Harry and Ron were to be the ones who fought? Or what? What’s the deal?

Matt: Maybe they were just waiting. Honestly. And then as soon as Harry and Ron came up or something, they were talking to each other like, “Okay here, they’re coming. Let’s just act like we knew this whole thing would happen this way and it would all turn out okay.” [as Dumbledore] “Oh, Harry…”

Andrew: Well, is that what really happened because I still don’t understand it. Do you guys have any theories as to why Dumbledore and McGonagall primarily did not go into the Chamber?

Matt: They don’t speak Parseltongue.

Andrea: Did they know that Harry and Ron were down there?

Andrew: Yeah, but could they trust Harry and Ronnie to defeat – Harry and Ron to defeat Voldemort – or Tom Riddle?

Matt: They had Lockhart.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, and Fawkes.

Andrew: That’s true. I guess – I guess that was the only explanation.

Jamie: Bad things happen when Dumbledore and Voldemort meet, so maybe they wanted…

Matt: [laughs] Things get blown up…

Jamie: [laughs] Things get blown up when they meet. People get encased in water and have fiery snakes after them. It’s not the kind of thing…

Micah: I think they just didn’t have a clue. I mean…

Jamie: That’s probably it, yeah.

Micah: At least McGonagall didn’t. They had no clue where the Chamber was and they had no clue what was going on in it.

Andrew: Fair enough.

Matt: Yeah, McGonagall especially. I mean, she was – you even said she was like, emotionally distraught.

Andrew: And so Harry tells them the whole story of figuring out what was Petrifying people at Hogwarts and where the Chamber was located. And Mr. Weasley in a very odd move decides to berate Ginny about the dangers of interacting with an object that can “think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain,” which was pretty funny.

Matt: That’s oddly specific.

Andrew: But I was wondering why he went so hard on his own daughter. I mean – and Dumbledore points this out, “Much older wizards and witches have been fooled by Voldemort.” So why is Mr. Weasley, you know…

Matt: Well, his daughter almost died! He’s scared.

Andrew: So why is his first reaction “Let me yell at you for falling into Voldemort’s trap”?

[Jamie laughs]

Matt: That happens to everyone – every parent.

Andrea: His nerves.

Matt: I mean, when every parent comes up to their child who almost killed themselves or did something very dangerous, the first instinct is to be very upset.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, that’s so true.

Matt: And tell never to do it again.

Jamie: [laughs] That’s so true. Yeah. So…

Matt: And then five – and then like, twenty minutes later they come with an ice cream cone saying how…

Andrew: But it wasn’t their fault…

Jamie: …burst into tears.

Matt: Of course not, and they know it wasn’t her fault, but the emotions got the best of them.

Andrew: All right. Well, Matt, you’re a terrible parent.

Matt: Whatever.

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: You will be a terrible parent. So then McGonagall goes to get a big feast prepared, Ron takes Lockhart to the hospital wing, and Harry and Dumbledore talk alone in Dumbledore’s office. And Dumbledore says that Harry’s display of true loyalty to Dumbledore could have been the only thing that sent Fawkes to him…

Jamie: Aw.

Andrew: Because of course, Harry was wondering, yeah. It was a very cute moment. And then Harry voices his concerns over the similarities between himself and Voldemort, and Dumbledore explains that some other similarities, namely speaking Parseltongue, were passed when Voldemort tried to kill him as a baby. And then a big Horcrux moment in here: Harry says, “Voldemort put a bit of himself in me?” And Dumbledore says, “It certainly seems so.” Now of course, Jo later confirmed, you know, after Book Seven came out, that Harry wasn’t really a Horcrux, like he sort of was but wasn’t really. But this, you know, this was a big sort of Horcrux moment, wasn’t it?

Micah: He was an unintentional Horcrux.

Andrew: Yeah. Exactly. And then Dumbledore makes another famous quote right here, which people recite to this day. I wish Ben was here.

Jamie: [laughs] It’s his favorite one, isn’t it?

Micah: You don’t have audio of it somewhere? I mean, there’s got to be. How many times has he said that on the show?

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: There’s only 75 episodes where he said it.

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Matt: He can’t pinpoint the exact one.

Andrew: He says, [as Dumbledore] “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Ben actually reworded it.

Jamie: He did! He got it wrong, didn’t he?

Andrew: But – yeah. But anyway, we got the gist of it, so – that is a great line: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” And then, of course, Lucius Malfoy storms into Dumbledore’s office with Dobby at his side, and Lucius voices his concern over Dumbledore’s return, and Dumbledore rebuts by revealing to Lucius that the eleven other governors wanted him back after Ginny was attacked. Dumbledore goes on to explain to Lucius that the diary was only uncovered thanks to Harry and Ron and – so Lucius was very angry at this. And as he’s on his way out, Harry brings the diary back to Lucius in Harry’s sock. Lucius rips it off the sock, tosses it at Dobby, and Dobby sees this as being freed. And of course, Lucius freaks out, but Dobby protects Harry, and he sends a spell at Lucius that sends him flying and so all is well. We learn lots of good news at the feast party that follows. Most interesting, exams do end up getting cancelled. I don’t…

Matt: [as Hermione] “Oh no!”

Andrew: I don’t approve of that.

Micah: One of the things that I thought was kind of ironic about the Dobby scene is he says to Dobby, “Promise you’ll never try to save my life again,” and that’s exactly what he ends up doing.

Andrea: Mhm.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrea: Thank God he did. [laughs]

Matt: Then he dies.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrew: I guess that was a little foreshadowing right there.

Micah: Yeah. And “There’s no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid.” That was another terrible line in the movies.

[Andrea laughs]

Matt: Oh, shut up! That was a…

Micah: Did you cry?

Jamie: Oh, that’s a terrible line, isn’t it? Ugh!

Andrew: And so everyone heads home on the Hogwarts Express and everybody lives happily ever after. Until Prisoner of Azkaban.

Matt: [laughs] Until the next…

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: But it’s so funny how these books always end so happily.

Matt: Yeah.

Andrew: At least the first couple.

Matt: Well, I was glad it ended on a happy note because that was the last time in the film that we got to see Richard Harris.

Jamie: Yeah, that is quite sad. Yeah.

Matt: Smiling with a twinkle in his eye.

Andrew: It is.

Matt: Sad that everyone was crying, though, too – in that scene, too. It was kind of sad. [sniffs]

Andrew: Okay. So that’s it for Chamber of Secrets. I can’t believe we’re finished! That was – what I love about these first two books is there’s eighteen chapters in each. So we can get through them nice and quick, but Prisoner of Azkaban gets longer, of course.

Jamie: Then Half-Blood Prince is like 400 chapters.

[Andrea and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Or Order of the Phoenix.

Chapter-by-Chapter Review: Chamber of Secrets

Andrew: Yeah, so that finishes the last book…

Jamie: Book.

Andrew: Last short book. So let’s have a little quick review of Chamber of Secrets. A couple things worth discussing here. We were introduced to quite a few new characters in this book. Just to run through the most prominent ones: Lockhart, Colin Creevey, Moaning Myrtle, Tom Riddle, Lucius Malfoy, Arthur Weasley, Fawkes, Cornelius Fudge, Aragog and Dobby. Who do you think was the most interesting out of all those? Most interesting – the one you really enjoyed seeing the most in this book.

Andrea and



Andrea and



Andrew: Really? I was going to say Lockhart.

Jamie: I’d say Tom Riddle, just to be controversial.

Matt: I kind of want to say Lucius.

Jamie: Well, I’m glad to see that we’ve reached [laughs] an accord over it.

[Everyone laughs]

Micah: Well, I think…

Andrew: Okay…

Micah: With – or with Tom Riddle and Dobby, you can make the point that they have the biggest influence throughout the series.

Andrew: Yeah. And what about most meaningful moment in the book and/or chapter? I think most of the meaningful moments came out towards the end in these last few chapters that we discussed – namely, Harry and Tom Riddle’s fight, Harry and Ron’s encounter with Aragog, and Lucius being exposed and unintentionally freeing Dobby. That was one of those “Yeah!” moments where we get to see…

Jamie: That’s great…

Andrew: …everything go our way.

Jamie: That’s a great piece of writing as well because Jo is – he got freed because Harry wants him to be free rather than – it wasn’t plot dictating what happened. It was – if Harry hadn’t been the person that he is, Dobby wouldn’t have been freed because he wouldn’t have wanted to free him. So it’s quite – and then Dobby, obviously like we said, went on to influence the whole of the book. So it’s like Harry is making his choices, and his choices cause everything to go right. So it’s quite an interesting point, that one. That’s probably my most meaningful moment.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: That one.

Andrew: I agree.

Jamie: That’s quite interesting.

Andrew: That’s a good point. And lastly, best quotes from the book. And again, it’s not like we’re doing lazy research but I think a lot of great quotes came from these last few chapters. Tom Riddle at one point says, “So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender – a song bird and an old hat!”

Matt: “Old hat!”

[Matt does a terrible Parseltongue imitation]

Andrew: This is just the beginning of several examples of where Tom Riddle – Voldemort does not think everything through. We see him make multiple mistakes throughout the series and this is just another one. I mean, does he really think that Dumbledore didn’t send him worthwhile items? Is he really that stupid?

Andrea: He’s arrogant.

Jamie: I think he – yeah, yeah, and dismissive. But I wouldn’t have thought that he’d think that Fawkes – like it sort of contradicts what Voldemort is. Because he’s the most powerful wizard of all time, which means – like if you think of a Sith Lord, you wouldn’t think that they would write off the substance that gives them their power. Whereas Voldemort knows that Fawkes’s feather is in the thing. So even if he doesn’t know what the connection is, you’d think he’d make the connection.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I don’t know.

Andrew: It’s a good point. Another good quote from the series is – of course we talked about this earlier – “It is our choices, Harry that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” And another Dumbledore quote that stood out, “The best of us must sometimes eat our words.” That’s so true.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Sometimes you got to just fess up.

Jamie: It’s a great line.

Andrew: Jamie…

Jamie: Hmmm?

Andrew: This is a good time to tell you that you need to learn from that quote.

[Matt and Andrea laugh]

Andrew: Just kidding.

Jamie: What else do I need to eat?

Andrew: Oh, many. I’ll start searching through our transcripts and find something.

Jamie: All right, cool. And then I’ll eat them.

Andrew: Something about eating fifty sausages one time?

Jamie: Yeah.

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Jamie: I don’t know what happened with that. I don’t know, I must have been – I must have been tired or…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …on something because I can’t believe I agreed to that. That was stupid.

Andrew: I think you need to start doing more outrageous bets like that.

Jamie: Maybe, maybe. What was the bet?

Andrew: I can’t remember. Does anyone remember? Micah, do you remember, or Matt?

Micah: I think it was something to do with – depending on whether Harry lived or not. Or if Harry was a Horcrux.

Jamie: Oh!

Micah: I don’t remember.

Andrew and



Jamie: Oh, what a cliff-hanger.

[Matt and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: Yeah, fifty sausages, though – that’s a hell of a lot of sausages.

Matt: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. You promised you would eat fifty sausages if Harry Potter died in Book Seven.

Andrew: But he didn’t…

Jamie: But, I…

Matt: No, but you – that’s debatable.

Jamie: All right, then. I’m okay, then.

Andrew: Oh yeah, but I think we argued that he sort of half-died, so you should eat twenty-five.

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Jamie: Oh yeah, that’s true. See, twenty-five is doable but I’m a big fan of organic, free-range meat at the moment. I don’t eat any like…

Andrew: Are you a vegetarian now or something?

Jamie: …battery farm. No, no, no, I just like – okay, I went online and saw a couple of PETA’s videos…

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: …and after that I was like, “nope.”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: And Sophie convinces me as well, a lot. I don’t – yeah…

Andrew: I see.

Jamie: I’m a good boy, I’m a very good boy when it comes to eating meat.

Andrew: All right, fine. Oh…

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Andrew: Well, let’s not forget that YouTube video, that Big Mac challenge.

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew: So you’ve changed after that, is what you’re saying. You’re not the man you used to be.

Jamie: Oh, I wouldn’t – I wouldn’t eat a Big Mac again, to put it lightly.

Andrew: I got it.

Jamie: I wouldn’t do it.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: I wouldn’t do that.


[laughs] All right.

Jamie: I do believe that’s a good thing as well.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Yeah.

Matt: You eat the chicken nuggets.

Jamie: No, no, no. I condemn meat, Matt. Condemn meat. Tortured meat for all of its life.

[Andrew and Matt laugh]

Jamie: And that’s why I don’t – you shouldn’t as well.

Matt: Well, I only eat meat that’s through suicide.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: [laughs] What, like hari-kari, they put the thing in.

[Matt laughs]

Jamie: Twist it up.

Andrew: Okay, well that does it, like I said, for Chamber of Secrets, so we won’t have Quote Quiz this week, but next week we will get into Prisoner of – or not next week, but in a couple of weeks, we’ll get into Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapters 1-3! Woohoo!

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Listener Tweet: Basilisk Venom

Andrew: So send in your questions and feedback about these upcoming chapters now, as well as the chapters we just discussed, and to do that, you can go to and click on “Contact,” and you’ll be able to send in your feedback there. So, before we completely wrap up Chapter-by-Chapter today, let’s get through a few tweets that we received, as well as some e-mails. I’m going to try to get through these quickly. First one’s from Project_Alice:

“Why didn’t the poison instantly kill Harry? A twelve year old boy versus giant basilisk venom – some spiders only take minutes to kill you.”

Jamie: That is a fair point, yeah.

Andrew: It is. Maybe just for – to make it more dramatic.

Matt: Dramatic effect, yeah.

Jamie: And he is in pain, as well, if it was that powerful, potent…

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: Yeah, he did scream like a girl after he got stabbed.

Jamie: Typical. Typical Harry.

Listener Tweet: Fawkes/Dumbledore’s Hand

Andrew: Gabbysm11 writes:

“This may be a dumb question, but if a phoenix’s tears can heal anything, how come Fawkes didn’t heal Dumbledore’s hand in ‘Half-Blood Prince’?”

I think Dumbledore didn’t want it to be healed, it…

Jamie: What?

Andrew: He just knew it was his time to go.

Jamie: The curse was too powerful, though, wasn’t it? That was the point.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrea: Right.

Matt: Well, he accepted his fate, I think that was also in…

Micah: Well, yeah, I agree with what Matt said, because the whole reason he puts it on is because of – you know, he’s overcome by the power of the Deathly Hallows. He wants the ring on his hand; he wants to sort of feel the power of it all.

Andrew: Yeah.

Micah: And I think that greed, he kind of – through that greed, he kind of accepts his own fate. You know, going off of what Jamie said, the curse is just so powerful, I don’t know that Fawkes could heal it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrea: Right, it’s the whole dark magic excuse.

Jamie: Yeah.

Listener Tweet: Deceptive Dumbledore

Andrew: alexandramoff writes:

“Dumbledore was one conniving man. He continually deceives Harry, but this reflects Harry’s age. One must remember that he’s twelve.”

Well, we’ve had discussions about that.

Micah: The whole “pig for slaughter” thing.

Jamie: It is a controversial issue, isn’t it?

Andrew: Yeah, pig for slaughter. Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: That was a very good discussion we had.

Matt: Amazing.

Listener Tweet: The Diary

Andrew: Next feedback – piece of feedback comes from sundayrain23:

“How did Dumbledore get the diary back from Lucius Malfoy after Harry freed Dobby? Did Malfoy leave it on the floor, or…”

I think Malfoy just left it on the floor, right?

Micah: I have no idea. That’s one of those weird things…

Jamie: That wasn’t written in, was it?

Micah: No, it wasn’t written in.

Andrew: I think he sort of just left it on the ground.

Matt: Well, he asked if he borrowed it. Harry borrowed it from Dumbledore, so he probably gave it back.

Listener Tweet: Sneaky Sneaky Fawkes

Andrew: Maybe. Same person writes,

“Did Ron just not notice Fawkes enter the Chamber or is there another way to get in?”

Micah: Huh?

Andrew: Fawkes probably just flew over him or something.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Ron does…

Jamie: Or he came in really quickly like a plane.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Like a jet.

Andrew: And Ron doesn’t – if we’re – if his character’s to be believed in the movie, Ron doesn’t think too fast. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Matt: Well it’s also a chamber, there’s probably a different exit – or entrance.

Andrew: Or entrance. Yeah.

Micah: Yeah.

Andrea: Maybe he can Apparate.

Andrew and



[Andrea laughs]

Matt: Maybe he cried his way through.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

[Andrea laughs]

Listener Tweet: Fawkes Controversy

Andrew: Kirti_kermit writes:

“Why didn’t Fawkes die when she punctured the Basilisk’s eyes? She couldn’t have done it without looking straight into it, right?”

Jamie: Not to be controversial, but isn’t Fawkes a he?

Micah: Yeah, I was going to say. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Why didn’t he? Maybe…

Jamie: Maybe she just…

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Maybe he just aimed and went with it. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, or closed his eyes. He ain’t dumb, he knows what he’s facing.

Micah: Well, in all fairness…

Jamie: And they’re huge eyes as well.

Micah: …Fawkes can’t really die, he just gets reborn anyway.

Jamie: Yeah.

Matt: And he gets blown up with ashes and blinds the Basilisk.

Micah: Exactly.

Jamie: Yeah. I bet he just gets into pub fights and bar fights all the time, because he knows he can just get reborn even if he gets killed and stuff.

[Andrea laughs]

Jamie: He brawls all over the place, Fawkes.

Listener Tweet: Did Dumbledore Know?

Andrew: Nidia112 writes:

“Do you think that Dumbledore knew that the diary would be so valuable, or that it was a Horcrux?”

Micah: Yeah. And I pulled that quote from Half-Blood Prince where Dumbledore says, “Four years ago, I received what I considered certain proof that Voldemort had split his soul.”

Jamie: Oh, that’s a great, great connection, Micah. Brilliant connection.

Micah: Thank you.

Andrew: That’s a pretty badass line, too.

Jamie: That’s awesome.

Andrew: [as Dumbledore] “Four years ago, I received what I considered certain proof that Voldemort had split his soul. Hmm…”

Jamie: Yeah, it’s a great line. And it’s on page 500 exactly.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Micah: American edition.

The British Joke of the Day

Andrew: Okay, so Jamie it is time now for your British Joke of the Day. This is exciting.

Jamie: I hope it’s going to live up to it.

Andrew: It’s the first one of 2010. This segment is now six years old? five?

Jamie: Oh, it’s something – whoa, when did the show start?

Andrew: Well, we’re actually – I should mention this – I realised that we’re approaching our fifth birthday, which is very exciting.

Jamie: Fifth birthday?!

Andrew: Yeah. It’ll be in August.

Jamie: Oh, that’s insane!

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: That’s insane. We have to do something so special for that.

Andrew: I think so.

Jamie: Some type of huge party in Vegas.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: I’m down for that. All right, so Jamie, let’s hear it.

Jamie: All right. Going with the controversial theme – it’s a bit controversial. Not really, though. I don’t know. A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a broken nose. The doctor asked him what happened. “Well,” says the man, “I was having a nice round of golf with my wife. She sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed that one of the cows had something protruding from its rear end. Sure enough, when I lifted its tail, there was my wife’s golf ball.” “And?” asked the doctor. “Well,” the man said, “that’s when I lifted the cow’s tail, pointed, and yelled to the missis, ‘Hey honey, this one here looks like yours.'”

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Wow.

[Everyone laughs]

Matt: Wait…

Andrew: That is something Jamie.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: That’s not too bad…

Micah: No…

Andrew: No…

Micah: We’re going to be five years old. We can hear those kinds of jokes.

Matt: That’s totally G-rated…

Jamie: We can – yeah, yeah.

[Andrea and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Well, thank you Jamie. We always rely on you for a good bit of humor on the show…

Jamie: Well…

Matt: [laughs] A good bit of wholesome fun.

Andrew: Really, the whole episode is one big British Joke of the Day, because Jamie inserts British humor throughout the entire show.

Micah: You know, Andrew…

Jamie: Oh come on Andrew. You’re going to make me blush in a second.

[Everyone laughs]

Would Harry Be Petrified Seeing The Basilisk Through His Glasses?

Micah: There was one e-mail – just one really quick thing that Carson, 14 of Ohio brought up because a couple people asked this: That if Harry saw the Basilisk through his glasses, would he have been petrified?

Andrew: Oh…

Matt: Yeah.

Andrew: …I don’t know. This is sort of debatable because it’s sort of like the whole mirror thing. If Hermione was ready to look at it with a mirror…

Matt: But that’s a reflection. So was the water…

Andrea: Or the camera lens.

Matt: He doesn’t see the basilisk through a reflection if it’s through his glasses.

Jamie: It’s actually more concentrated, isn’t it?…

Matt: Yeah it’s a direct…

Jamie: …if they’re convex…

Matt: Yeah.

Jamie: …or concave?

Matt: It’s direct contact with your eyes.

Jamie: So he died twice.

Andrew: He would actually die…

[Micah laughs]

Matt: Magnified because of the glasses.

Andrew: He’d be double petrified?

Jamie: Yeah, double petrified…

[Micah laughs]

Micah: No, no, he died, wouldn’t he?

Andrew: Yeah, no I think you’re right. [laughs]

Micah: Which is like being double petrified.

Announcement: Podcast Alley and Infinitus 2010

Andrew: Okay, so before we let everyone go today, we want to remind you to vote for us on We’re currently not in the top ten list. So please do vote for us. Please do vote for us at You can vote for us by visiting, and we’re going to put a link there, too. You can click on Podcast Alley on the right under Community Outlets and we appreciate your vote. We also remind – want to remind everyone we hope you go to Infinitus 2010. The site is The event will be held in Orlando, Florida from July 15th to the 18th…

Jamie: Oh.

Andrew: …at the Universal Studios…

Jamie: Nice.

Andrew: …Orlando Resort. It’s going to be an amazing event. They actually just announced…

Jamie: What a great idea.

Andrew: Yeah. They actually just made a pretty cool announcement. A Very Potter Sequel will be premiering at Infinitus. It’s going to be making the premiere! So that’s very cool. As we discussed on last week’s episode, A Very Potter Musical was very successful, very popular in the Harry Potter fandom and on YouTube, and now the sequel to that musical is going to be premiering at Infinitus. So very cool stuff., again, is the site. Hopefully you can register and attend. We hope to be there. We hope to be doing a podcast there.

Matt: I say we audition.

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: For A Very Potter – no – well…

Matt: Yeah. A Very Potter Sequel.

Andrew: Do you have the – I don’t think you could sing…

Matt: I think I’d have the credentials. I have to get my resume.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Andrea and Jamie laugh]

Matt: Let me put that together.

Jamie: Work on it.

Andrew: And also, just as a – every once in a while we like to throw out happy birthday wishes to some of the listeners, and Pablo wrote in to ask us to wish his friend Laura a happy birthday. She turns seventeen on January 19th, so happy birthday to her. That’s wonderful.

Andrea: Feliz cumpleaƒos. Yeah.

Andrew: She’s a big listener…

Matt: Ooh!

Andrew: …and fan.

Andrea: Well I figured she’s in Colombia. So… [laughs]

Andrew: Do you know…

Matt: Oh…

Andrew: Is that near where you used to live or something? What are you saying? Andrea?

Andrea: No, no.

Matt: No, she’s speaking Spanish. She’s saying happy birthday.

Andrea: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh!

Jamie: God, Andrew, keep up!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Sorry, I…

Matt: Geez! You’re so cultured.

Micah: It’s like having Laura back all over again.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. I’m being corrected. Ugh! I’m just kidding. Anyway, we also want to remind everyone that – to visit, it has all the information you need to learn more about the show. You can contact us, you can find our community outlets. We encourage you to follow us on Twitter and also become a fan of us on Facebook and also to vote for us once a month on Podcast Alley. Everything, everything, everything you need is right there…

Jamie: Do everything.

Andrew: …on Jamie, I can’t believe you actually have a Twitter now.

Jamie: Yeah, I do.

Matt: Are you following any of us?

Jamie: I finally jumped on the bandwagon. Yeah, I am. I’m following Andrew. I think I’m following you as well, Matt, because I remember seeing a message from you and I’m pretty sure I clicked Follow. I don’t know though.

Andrew: I wouldn’t follow Matt, he’s not very interesting.

Jamie: He’s not interesting?

Matt: Oh, well whatever Active!

Andrew: I don’t follow him.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jamie: Active! That’s such a cool name, Andrew. Active.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: You’re like a superhero, Active. Active-man!

Andrew: Well, what’s your Twitter name, if people want to follow you, Jamie?

Jamie: I was going to do a shameless plug.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: It’s, backwards.

[Show music begins]

Jamie: My name backwards. Andrew, you’ve currently got over 8,000 followers and I’ve got about 710!

[Andrea and Andrew laugh]

Jamie: So if I get to – if I beat Andrew at some point – if I get more than him I’ll eat something ridiculous.

Matt: 50 sausages.

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: I don’t know what yet. I’ll put it on there. Maybe not 50 but perhaps like 20 organic ones, free range ones, maybe.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Jamie: So yeah, yeah. I’ll come up with a thing to do so please, please, please follow me. I want to beat Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: That’s a pretty big challenge.

Jamie: You’ve got like twelve times as many followers as me, Andrew.

Andrew: Well, start tweeting some stuff about Harry Potter, and they’ll want to follow you. But, I’m sure they’ll want to follow you anyway, because…

Jamie: Aw!

Andrew: You Tweet lots of interesting stuff.

Micah: You could do a British Joke of the Day.

Andrew: Yeah start Tweeting some jokes, they’ll like that.

Jamie: See, that’s an idea. But, it’s the Internet. They can just type something into Google and get hundreds of jokes on their…

Andrew: All…

Jamie: Yeah, but – true, true, true. I’ll…

Andrew: They like how you harvest the jokes, and pick the best of the best.

Matt: It’s your taste, that they want.

Andrea: It means more coming from Jamie.

Matt: It’s the taste of your jokes.

Jamie: I’ll try and do it, then. I’ll try and be innovative when it comes to jokes and put some on there.

Andrew: All right…

Matt: Yeah, after five years Jamie.

[Andrea laughs]

Jamie: They should be pretty good, shouldn’t they?

Show Close

Andrew: All right, well thank you everyone, for listening. It’s been another fun show. Andrea, thank you for coming on.

Andrea: Thanks for having me!

Andrew: And, we hope to have you on again soon. And Jamie, it was great talking to you, hopefully…

Jamie: You too.

Andrew: …we’ll see you on again soon, as well.

Jamie: Let me stay again. Let me stay. Please let me stay for a bit.

Andrew: Of course! You’re always – you’re always – you’re still a part – I still absolutely consider you a huge part of the show.

Jamie: Oh good, Andrew! I’m glad, I’m glad.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That’s nice.

[Andrea laughs]

Andrew: Thanks again everyone for listening, I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Matt: I’m Matthew Britton.

Andrea: And I’m Andrea Salazar.

Andrew: We’ll see you next time for Episode 190. Bye-bye!

Jamie: Bye!

Micah and Matt: Bye!

Andrea: Bye!

[Show music ends]


Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

[Prolonged silence]

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Oh! I…

Andrew: Who knows what the order – Jamie, Micah, Matt, Andrea.

Matt: Okay.

Jamie: You going to start again, then, or just…

Andrew: No, go ahead, you can…

Jamie: All right. No, no, no, I need the…

Andrew: You need the flow?

[Micah laughs]

Jamie: The momentum, the you – Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] All right. One, two, three, four.