Transcript #44

MuggleCast 44 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew [Show Intro with music in background]: Because the real world bores you – thank you, Jackie, 17, of Chicago – this is MuggleCast Episode 44 for June 18th, 2006.

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Ben: Guess who’s back?

Andrew: Who?

Ben: Back again.

Andrew: Who?

Ben: Andrew’s back.

Andrew: Me?

[Ben laughs]

Ben: Tell your friends.

Andrew: Ah, everybody down to the dance floor, to the dance floor.

Eric: Sims is back.

Andrew: Oh, that brings back a bad memory from last year.

Hello, everyone and welcome back (thanks self) to the show. I am Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Eric: I am Eric Scull.

Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Andrew: And back for an encore this week is Matthew Vines of – joining us for another fantastic episode. Welcome, Matt!

Matt: Hi!

Andrew: Are you pumped? I know this is a new kind of medium for you.

Matt: Yeah, I’m excited.

Andrew: [laughs] I can feel it in everyone’s voices.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Before we go anywhere else, Micah Tannenbaum is back to his normal self this week, so let’s check in with him for the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Forbes magazine has published their annual top 100 list of the world’s most powerful celebrities, and JK Rowling has come in at #19, three places ahead of last year’s ranking.

The excerpt from the magazine read:

One of the few billionaires on our list, J.K. Rowling is preparing to close the book on her “Harry Potter” series. The next installment, the seventh in the series, is rumored to be her last, although she’ll continue to write and will likely explore other parts of the Potter milieu. Worldwide sales of the Potter books have topped 300 million copies worldwide. “The Goblet of Fire” was last year’s highest-grossing film, with a worldwide box office take of $892 million.

Since last year, Jo has accumulated an estimated $75 million. Forbes say celebrities must have a combination of earnings and sizzle to acquire a coveted place on the list. has been updated with details about the pre-recorded play starring Dan Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Matthew Lewis to be shown at the Queen’s 80th birthday party.

As part of the event, Daniel, Rupert, Emma and Matt will appear in character as Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville in a filmed segment on the Gryffindor common room set recommending a spell for the Palace to use in order to apprehend a thief. It is this spell that ultimately leads to them catching the crook.

A few months ago, mother-of-four Laura Mallory filed several complaints against all six Harry Potter books, saying they included “evil themes, witchcraft, demonic activity, murder, evil blood sacrifice, spells and teaching children all of this.” Even though she hasn’t read any of the books because they’re “too long” (or just because she can’t read), she noted that it would be difficult for children to distinguish between the fantastical events in the books and real life, and attempted to have them removed from school libraries in Gwinnett County, Georgia.

On April 20th, scores of educators, parents and students showed their support for the books in a public hearing, and both the local school and system media committees concurred. In fact, the support for the books remaining in school libraries was so strong that hearing officer Su Ellen Bray offered ten reasons why they shouldn’t be removed and on May 11th, the Gwinnett County Board of Education voted that the novels should stay.

Mallory appealed this decision on Friday, and the legal services division of the Georgia Department of Education will now determine the next step in this debate.

Finally, I did not do the news last week. Ben filled in for me while I was in Las Vegas, so you guys can stop e-mailing me and telling me I pronounced “Thames” wrong during the segment. Because…it wasn’t me!

That’s all the news for this June 18th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Have a Happy Father’s Day! Back to show.

Andrew: Okay, thank you, Micah.

Micah: No problem.

Eric: What if it is a problem?

Andrew: How much work does it take to do that news every week?

Micah: Usually it takes about, I don’t know, about 15-20 minutes.

Andrew: Oh, that’s not bad.

Eric: But when he asks you to do it in ten, it takes 30?

Micah: I usually try and edit it a little bit so you don’t have to do as much.

Andrew: Right.

Announcements: National Wear Your MuggleCast T-Shirt Day

Andrew: All right, so moving along. Let’s get to some announcements. Oh, first of all, sorry I wasn’t here last week. I know it was earth-shattering. Like it’s never been done before. When you think MuggleCast, you think Andrew Sims. [laughs]

Ben: It was a big relief is what it was.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: To you it was Ben, but some people actually love me.

Eric: Like who? Example?

Andrew: I don’t know. I don’t know. Some people say they like me.

Eric: Okay, cool.

Andrew: National Wear Your MuggleCast T-Shirt Day pics are now online – well, we mentioned this last week, but I am slowly gathering more pictures and putting them up. And we have the contest winners this week. We were supposed to announce them last week, but apparently nothing gets done when I’m not here.

Ben: Okay, you didn’t give them to me.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: So, the five winners who have already been e-mailed and they are going to be receiving their Lumos t-shirts within the next one to two weeks: Jessica Gordon, Lucas, Becca Daniels, “Disney Dan” (he never gave me his real name although I didn’t check his e-mail)…

[Ben and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: That’s just his e-mail address.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: And Casey Stroude. So, congratulations to all of you. Thanks for wearing your t-shirts on National Wear Your MuggleCast T-Shirt Day. An overall success, very much. Did you guys talk about it on the show last week?

Ben: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Did you?

Eric: I think it’s got to suck, Andrew. It really has to. Everybody who entered that contest and didn’t win has been PWNed by a man named Disney Dan.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh.

Ben: [laughs] Disney Dan.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Send all your e-mails to Disney Dan.

Eric: Disney Dan PWNed you.

Andrew: Yeah. Well, we got some really cool pictures. We got – someone took their picture with Harry and the Potters. Someone took their picture with the Mayor of Honolulu and that was pretty cool to see. A lot of…

Ben: And someone stooped low and took their picture with Eric Scull.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Eric, tell everyone how that happened. That’s really – did you just happen to run into them?

Ben: He was looking for them.

Andrew: Were you?

Ben: Who you kidding?

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Yeah, I put an ad in the local paper.

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Does anybody listen to MuggleCast? No, there’s actually a picture which I don’t think is in the gallery, which is us in front of the pagoda, which is Reading, Pennsylvania’s, I guess claim to fame. It’s their national or at least city-wide landmark. Reading, Pennsylvania – there’s a picture I guess it’s on my PhotoBucket, which you can look up the link for later.

Andrew: Uh, yeah right. [laughs]

Eric: But, basically I just… No, I know them. Actually, one of them – they both went to my school, my high school. Actually, there are three of them: Marissa, Sarah, and Trish. And they went to my high school and they know me – kind of. And I actually work with Sarah now at the movie theater. So, we just said let’s go up to the pagoda and take some pictures.

Andrew: Oh, because I thought the way they phrased it in their e-mail, “Oh, we just happened to run into him.” I guess I read it wrong.

Eric: Yeah, well I didn’t want them to say that Eric orchestrated the whole thing and therefore it wouldn’t get in the gallery…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Right.

Eric: …because it was cheating or something like that.

Andrew: Cheating?

Ben: Even though National Wear Your MuggleCast T-Shirt Day has ended, it is never too late to buy yourself at least 12 MuggleCast t-shirts.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: 11 more.

Andrew: A big, big thanks goes to Same and Nate of We don’t thank them enough when we really should be. They provide all the t-shirt designs and get the orders shipped out to everyone. And they are helping us out with a couple of projects, so we can’t thank them enough. for all of your t-shirt needs – check them out today! Ding!

Eric: But, if you happen to want some pants that say “MuggleCast” on them you can go over to for all your MuggleCast denims, khakis, pants.

[Ben fake laughs]

Andrew: That was such a bad joke.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Let’s move onto this week’s Listener Rebuttals.

Listener Rebuttal: Trelawney

Ben: Our first Listener Rebuttal comes from Carmen, 21, from New Jersey. Andrew’s home state. Ewww.

[Everyone laughs]


During the discussion of the prophecy, the question of whether Trelawney was a true Seer or not came up. It was implied that she was a half-Seer, or that those two were her only true prophecies and other than her trances, she’s just a kook. I beg to differ. I think Trelawney is a true Seer in spite of herself. It seems to me that whenever she proclaims anything, it more or less comes true. When she saw the Grim in Harry’s cup, it was a Grim, generally speaking. I mean a large black dog. If she had known that Sirius Black was an Animagus, her interpretation would have probably been, “Sirius Black is going to kill you,” instead of, “It’s a Omen of death.” In Book 6, she says that when she read the tarot cards, she kept getting the lightning-struck tower, and we all know how that turned out. So, I believe that her problem is more in the way of interpretation. She sees glimpses of the future and as she obviously has a somewhat melodramatic nature, she interprets things that, to her, makes the most sense. Which unfortunately, for her, ends up sounding very ridiculous. I also think that she very consciously makes up stuff to add to the drama, so to speak. I have no doubt she has the gift and when she reads crystal balls, tea leaves, cards, that she truly sees the message held there, however badly she mangles it up in translation.

Very good point, Carmen. Because, I was the only one that was on the show last week, actually…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: …that was in this group. It is interesting because we talked about prophecies and how the prophecy – how Trelawney seems to us like she only made two true prophecies throughout the series, but she’s making the point that when she does make predictions, they generally do become true and prophecies aren’t the only accurate predictions there can be. So, thanks for clearing – thanks for bringing that up, Carmen.

Eric: I thought that she was not really a true Seer and that something like the Grim and being Sirius Black’s Animagus form – I thought that was a J. K. Rowling kind of “it’s kind of funny type thing.” But, if Trelawney were a true Seer, I don’t think she’d need to make anything up, like for added drama. If Trelawney was very – that much confident in herself and her Seer skills, she wouldn’t need to make anything up. And with a great aunt or whoever, like what was it? Cassandra. Or Trelawney. Or her Seer relation there. With this famous Seer in her family, you’d think that she would have been trained by the best, but somehow we have this kook like Trelawney. I really don’t think that Trelawney is – I don’t know. If the question’s about her translation, that works, too, but I think there is actually a lacking of power in addition to understanding.

Matt: I don’t know. I think that Trelawney is sort of the equivalent of a Squib in the Seer realm. Where, she can do a little, but not very much. And when she does things, it’s not really in her control and she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Andrew: That’s a good point. Yeah.

Matt: So, I think she has some Seeing powers, but not a lot.

Listener Rebuttal: Prophecies

Andrew: Yeah, I like that. Next rebuttal comes from Stephanie, 19, of Massachusetts. She writes:

Hi everyone. Last episode you discussed prophecies and whether or not they were all fulfilled. On pg. 510 of Half-Blood Prince – U.S. Edition – Dumbledore said, “If Voldemort had never have heard the prophecy, would it have been fulfilled? Would it have meant anything? Of course not! Do you think every prophecy in the Hall of Prophecies has been fulfilled?” So, all the prophecies aren’t fulfilled. Love the show!

Ben: Because we talked about, are prophecies destined to come true? Like absolutely, and we overlooked the fact of what Dumbledore said. But he never actually said that they haven’t been fulfilled. But, he just implied.

Eric: But that’s the question. Do you have to hear it for it to come true? Because if Dumbledore said that not all of them have to come true, then it would make sense that he’s saying one of the people involved has to hear it to act on it, for it to come true? Do you get it?

Andrew: I get it, but I would imagine someone has to hear it. If neither of – but what happens when someone outside of the prophecy hears it?

Eric: Well, they tell somebody who’s in the prophecy.

Andrew: What if they don’t?

Eric: That’s the thing. If Dumbledore said that not all of them come true, then it makes sense that the only way for them to come true is if someone involved or someone who knows someone tells them. In the case of Julius Caesar, the guy walked right up to him and said, “Beware the Ides of March.” These are direct contact things.

Andrew: Right.

Eric: But, so it makes sense that unless the person involved hears the prophecy, it won’t come true, but that’s weird. That doesn’t sound right to me.

Micah: That’s it for Listener Rebuttals?

Andrew: Yes, let does wrap up…

Ben: Yes. Yes, Tanny.

Micah: It must have been because the last show was so good that people didn’t have much to complain about.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: There were no complaints.

Ben: Yeah.

Eric: I bet there were a hundred complaints but Ben deleted them all.

Ben: Oooh!

Eric: He’s like, “These are the only two Listener Rebuttals that don’t completely bash our dud last week.”

Micah: Did you call me Tanny?

Ben: Tanny. [laughs] Tanny. [continues laughing]

Andrew: I didn’t call – I’ve never called you Tanny. I’ve called you T-bag.

Eric: T-bomb?

Andrew: But not Tanny.

Eric: T-bag. [laughs] I like that.

Andrew: And Micah Tan.

Micah: I like Micah Tan.

Andrew: And the Mic-ster.

Eric: I like Micah Tan, too. It sounds like Ricky Tan. Just like in Rush Hour 2.

Andrew: Right, of course, Rush Hour 2.

Micah: What I’ve always aspired to be like. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, of course.

[Eric laughs]

Chapter-By-Chapter: Chapter 17, Sorcerer’s Stone

Andrew: This week we are wrapping up Chapter-by-Chapter.

Eric: [gasps] For Book 1.

Andrew: Right. Of Sorcerer’s Stone, Chapter 17: “The Man With Two Faces.” We don’t have as many notes as we normally do this week, so this Chapter-by-Chapter is going to be a little bit shorter. First, we’re going to start off with Matt. He has a couple things to bring up.

Chapter 17 – The Man With Two Faces

Matt: Okay. Well, this is just one of my favorite chapters in the entire series because it has some pretty awesome quotes in it. Five, I counted.

Dumbledore Quotes

Matt: Okay, let’s see, No. 1. This one is not as awesome as the rest, but it’s got a little funny story behind it. So, when Dumbledore tells Harry, “What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.” Okay, so it’s kind of funny, but someone e-mailed me about that, like, three months ago, and they made it out to be this really big mistake and they were like, “How can this be if it’s a complete secret that the whole school knows?”

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: J. K. Rowling messed up.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Book mistake.

Matt: Yeah.

[Eric laughs]

Matt: Okay, second line: “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” I actually think that line could have been a little more powerful if she would have said, “But more to stand up to our friends,” but it’s still good. Then, okay, here’s where we get to the really good ones. When Quirrell says, “There is no good and evil, there’s only power and those too weak to seek it.”

Eric: Oh god, that’s a horrible quote.

Matt: No!

Eric: Yes it…

Ben: That’s the best quote.

Eric: No, it’s the worst quote ever, because, you know why? Because every single book basher who bashes Harry Potter uses that to make it seem like JKR wrote that line for Harry to believe.

Ben: Yeah.

Matt: It’s okay. They…

Eric: Everybody’s like, “Oh!”.

Matt: It’s what…

Eric: Yeah. It…

Matt: But it’s what…

Eric: Yeah. The quote itself is great. I agree with you.

Ben: Yes.

Eric: Just, it’s been misused. It’s probably the most misused quote ever. It’s a great quote, though. You’re right, I’m sorry.

Matt: Yeah, it’s what embodies the philosophy of all evil in the entire series, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: It’s pretty cool. No. 4, actually, I should be going backwards because they’re getting better. Okay, No. 2.

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Matt: When Dumbledore says, “After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” Actually, I’ve seen that on a lot of people’s Facebooks under favorite quotes.

[Eric laughs]

Matt: Well, since a whole lot of the series, especially when you get to Book 4, is all about death and what happens to people afterwards, with Sirius and the Veil, I just think that’s a great quote. Especially once Dumbledore dies.

Ben: Yeah.

Matt: He doesn’t even really care because it’s the “next great adventure.” Actually, that might be No. 1, but No. 1 one is pretty good, too, when he says, “Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself,” because that also comes up over and over and over again throughout the entire series.

Ben: Was I the one that was kind of mad at that they gave that line to Hermione.

Eric: No, that’s a book mistake, too. That’s another thing people point out. They’re like, “But Hermione said it,” when people say it was Dumbledore; and then they say, “But Dumbledore said it,” when people quote Hermione. See, the deal is, in the movie Hermione says it in Movie 2. She stands up to Jason Isaacs and says, “Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself,” and he’s like, “Oh, you must be Hermione Granger,” and then he is all an asshole. But, that’s the difference. The quote was used in Book 1 or Movie 2 and that’s how it goes. In Book 1, Dumbledore said it, but it didn’t make it in the movie and in Book 2 nobody said it, but Hermione did.

Matt: Well, there’s no way they could include all of Dumbledore’s great quotes in the movies or they would be six hours long.

Eric: Well, right, but they did. It was just in the next movie, and that’s where it gets a lot of people confused, and they think it’s a mistake. I ran Book Mistakes Section, right with Name Origins – when I first started working with MuggleNet back in 2002, before all of you were there! Oh! PWN! Senior Staff Member, by definition.

Ben: Mhm.

Andrew: Okay.

Ben: And then you stayed with the Caption Contest.

Eric: Yeah. And it was…

Ben: For how long? Oh yeah. Three, four years now.

Eric: It’s actually, I think it was forty-two months and now it’s ending because I go to Europe.

Ben: Who’s taking it over?

Eric: Well, nobody. It’s just – it’s postponed until I come back.

Bill Gates Diversion

Andrew: Well, I was just going to say, it’s a little off-topic, but I immediately made the connection earlier today. Bill Gates announced today that he was stepping down from Microsoft because Microsoft is a terrible company and he can’t stand working there anymore. And the one thing…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Did he really say that, though?

Andrew: No, but…

Micah: I’m sure those were his exact words.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: He’s thinking that, I swear it. One thing that he says in his reasoning for why he’s leaving – he says, “I believe with great wealth comes great responsibility.” [laughs] And it’s funny.

Eric: Oh, come on.

Andrew: Yeah, I know.

Eric: That man has nothing better to do than to sit down in front of his seventy-bajillion inch TV screen and watch Spiderman and smoke pot, which he gets legally through some medical contract that he paid off his doctors.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: He’s Bill Gates.

Eric: He’s Bill Gates! Okay? It’s not like he’s going to say to himself, “You know what? My software has so many bugs and not enough patches and we’re never going to catch up to the ratio.” [laughs]

Back To Quotes

Micah: Okay, how about this quote? It’s from Voldemort and he says, “I have form only when I can share another’s body.” And I thought that was interesting because at the end of the first book, you already have the foreshadowing to all the Horcruxes.

Eric: Wait, how does that – how does that foreshadow…

Matt: It does, yeah. Wow.

Eric: …”when I can share a body.” “I only have form when I can share a body.” Well, no because he gets a body of his own then.

Matt: But no, he’s not even talking about human bodies necessarily, but just other things that he puts his self in.

Ben: Yeah, because he possesses snakes, too.

Eric: He does. And later on he tells about that. But what does foreshadow Horcruxes, is when Dumbledore is talking to Harry in the hospital wing and he says he will – he may be delayed and it will take somebody else who is prepared to fight what seems to be a losing battle or whatever, but yeah. Dumbledore tells Harry, without being truly dead or without being truly alive, he cannot be killed. That’s the foreshadowing moment. So, it says that Voldemort’s not actually truly alive, which hints on the fact that he’s just got pieces of his soul. That his soul is in fragments. He’s not really living.

Matt: And actually, I think that’s one of the coolest things about re-reading the first book at this point, is…

Eric: I know.

Matt: …it’s just riddled with foreshadowing all throughout it…

Andrew: Yeah.

Matt: …that you can’t even tell until after you read…

Andrew: Right.

Matt: …the other books.

Jo Is Full Of It

Andrew: We were saying that a couple episodes ago and can you just imagine, once we read Book 7, we’re going to be picking up on more of this? We’re going be like, “Oh, how come I didn’t see that?”

Eric: It’s amazing because…

Matt: It’s really impressive.

Eric: I was just on MuggleNet today – I was on MuggleNet today for the first time in two years, on the Main Page. I’m joking. And…

[Micah laughs]

Eric: On the Updates Bar – Micah laughed. [laughs] I should feel special. On the Updates Bar, it says “Book Endings Updated,” or “Plot Loops” I think it was – “Plot Holes,” or “What Needs to be Answered.” Anyway, something like that. It’s on the Updates Margin. Everybody go look and overload the site. Anyway, it’s all the questions that Jo needs to answer, and I was thinking, well, you know what? She’s got the answer for all of these questions, or at least let’s hope she does, but, not only that, but she’s known it before she created the question. She knew the answer before she created the potential for us to ask these questions. Isn’t that amazing?

Matt: Well, she did plan it for five years.

Andrew: Wait, are you saying she didn’t – she wasn’t aware of the trend that was going to happen with Harry Potter, so… But she knew the answers, anyway?

Eric: What I’m saying is she knows the answers to all these questions and it’s interesting because I thought, well, given what Book 6 left us, how would I, being JKR, write the seventh book at all? Where would I begin? There’s so many questions to answer. But then I realize, well hey – it actually says, “Added New Book 7 Loose Ends” on the Updates Page. But, there’s all these questions here about, “Who is RAB,” and “What bad memory was Dudley forced to encounter when he was attacked by the Dementors in Order of the Phoenix?” Questions like these, she has the answers to. She wrote all this stuff in, knowing ahead of time what needed to be answered – what things were. That’s the whole process of foreshadowing, is knowing the answers before you create the questions. And I just think Jo is so full of it. I mean, full of that. Full of…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Full of it?

[Eric laughs]

Micah: Wow.

Eric: Full of the answers, I mean. And it’s amazing.

Matt: Well, I guess that’s part of what makes the books really, really good.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Is because she…

Matt: Is that everything was planned out before she even wrote the first chapter.

Eric: And you’d like to think that she knew a lot of – it’s amazing. Some things catch her off guard, but I think the majority of it was already written down, because there were so many years where she wrote notes on napkins…

Andrew: Yes!

Eric: …before she continued – before she started.

Matt: She did not write notes on napkins!

Andrew: Yes, she did.

Eric: She so did! There are those stories.

Andrew: She said that a million times.

Eric: Yes.

Ben: She’s not – no, no. The rumor is, that she wrote the entire first book on napkins.

Andrew: Well, that’s…

Eric: Oh no, I think…

Ben: And that’s not true.

Eric: …I think that’s not true because…

Ben: She shot that down, but she did make notes.

Matt: Okay, well, she said that she was offended that people were saying that she wrote the first book on napkins.

Ben: That’s how poor she was.

Matt: She was not that poor.

Ben: Yeah, she was.

Matt: No, she wasn’t. Haven’t you read this?

Ben: She had to steal them from the dumpster at McDonald’s.

Eric: Oh, god.

Matt: Benjamin!

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: I’m just making it up, Matt. Geez.

Eric: Dumpster Diving Jo. No, come on.

Matt: If she heard that, think about how she would feel. This is horrible.

Ben: [laughs] That’s the title for this week: “Dumpster Diving Jo.”

Andrew: [laughs] No, I like, “Jo’s Full of It” better.

[Eric and Andrew laugh]

Eric: Full of the answers, people!

Andrew: So, anyway…

Micah: It’s no “Fat Lady.”

Eric: Neither was – never mind.

Andrew: What, “Andrew-less?” [laughs]

Eric: “Jo’s Three Wishes.”

Andrew: Oh. Hey, wasn’t that your – oh no, that was my brilliant joke. I forgot, sorry.

Eric: I don’t know. It was okay.

Ben: “Andrew-less” was the best.

Eric: “Andrew-less” was clever.

Andrew: “Andrew…” – never mind.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: So, is that it? Are we done?

Eric: Ummm…

One More Quote

Matt: Wait, I found a better quote.

Eric: Okay, cool.

Matt: I found a quote that trumps all of the other quotes. It’s something that Quirrell says.

Eric: Oooh.

Matt: Okay, check this out. He says, “I need to examine this interesting mirror.” Isn’t that great?

Eric: You’re losing your touch, Matt Vines.

Andrew: Care to [laughs] – Care to elaborate?

Ben: That was definitely an Eric quote there.

Matt: It was a joke.

Andrew: Oh.

Eric: Oh, that was a joke? [pretend laugh] “Interesting mirror.” [pretend laugh] End of chap – woo! End of Book 1 Chapter by Chapter! Woo!

Andrew: Yay! Everyone close their books.

Ben: Thank god.


[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Thank god. Now, I’ll send an e-mail to all the listeners who stopped listening after we started Chapter-by-Chapter telling them they can come back now.

Andrew: [laughs] It’s okay, it’s safe to come back. [laughs]

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: So, we’re going to take a little break, a little hiatus, and do some other stuff.

Eric: On, on Chapter-by-Chapter. Not, not MuggleCast.

Andrew: No, on Chapter-by-Chapter.

Eric: [laughs] It’s not…

Character Discussion: Percy Weasley

Andrew: Okay, so, moving on now to our main discussion this week written by Ben Schoen, so he’ll be – he’ll be handling this one. [laughs]

Eric: So you know it’s crap.

Andrew: Character discussions are back again. This week we will be discussing Percy Weasley.

Ben: The one and only Percy Weasley. Okay, just to first start off, a little bit of general information about Mr. Percy Weasley. His middle name is Ignatius. I don’t know how you say it. Someone correct me. He was born on August 22nd, 1976 to Molly and Arthur Weasley. His house, of course, is Gryffindor. His distinguishing characteristics are that he’s tall and thin with the standard Weasley red hair. Percy has horn-rimmed glasses and a permanent air of smugness and self-importance.

Will Percy Mend Family Ties?

Ben: We first hear of him in Chapter 6 of Sorcerer’s Stone. But however, it’s important to think – to remember what happened in Order of the Phoenix, when there was a parting of the ways between Percy and his family. Do you guys ever think that we’ll see – that Percy will ever see the error in his ways and reconcile the differences that he has with his family?

Andrew: I think so, because now…

Ben: But what about what happened in Book 6, though? When Molly – Molly was crying and he had some seasoning splattered all over him or whatever. He – because he… Okay, he paid a visit. Around Christmas, he went there and while they were outside discussing… Well, okay, he went to the house and Rufus Scrimgeour, the new Minister of Magic, was outside talking to Harry to try to convince him to be on the Ministry’s side – talk him up a bit. And while they were outside discussing, Percy was talking to his family, and we don’t really know what went on, but it ended with Percy splattered in mashed parsnip and Molly Weasley crying. Do you guys think that he will ever be able to fix the problems that he’s having with his family? Or will he remain an arrogant prick?

Andrew: So, I think something’s going to happen in Book 7 that’s going to require the Weasley family to bring them all together. Maybe.

Matt: Well, I think the mashed – I think the mashed parsnip is particularly significant because, did you know, that when picking wild vegetables, poison hemlock can easily be mistaken for parsnip? I think that’s going to have something to do with some parallels in Book 7.

Ben: That’s true.

Matt: No, it was…

Ben: I never really…

Matt: It was a joke.

Ben: I never really thought about it that way.

Matt: Wait, are you guys being sarcastic or did you not get that that was a joke?

Andrew: No, I get it now.

Ben: I got that it was a joke.

Matt: Because you guys didn’t get the last one.

Andrew: Well…

Matt: So, just checking.

Andrew: …you’re just a bad jokester guy.

Matt: Fine! Edit it out!

Ben: So, Eric…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Eric, tell me, will Percy see the error in his ways and fix the problems with his parents and the rest of his family?

Eric: I think now that now that Voldemort is out in the open, and now that – now that Dumbledore is dead, and Percy really can’t keep denying it, there will be a long period where Percy’s just kind of like, “Whatever” and all angsty. But eventually, I think they’ll repair the connection. I think his family will be very open to forgiveness, considering it makes the world go round, or at least their world go ’round. And they’ll be interested in keeping all their family members close. So, I think yes, they will – Percy will be like, “Yeah, I was kind of a dope. Sorry.” And they’ll be like, “No problem. We forgive you.” He’ll be like, “Uh, I kind of want to apologize.” And they’ll be like, “Yeah, sure. Come on in.” You know?

Ben: Right. Because right now, the wizarding world is at war and Molly’s going to want to have all her children. She doesn’t want to… If Percy died while they were still mad at each other – or she’d be…

Andrew: That would be worse.

Ben: …she’d be pretty upset.

Eric: Well, well, not only that. I mean, he can’t deny it. Before he could’ve kind of gone his own way and seen his whole family as – it was much easier for him to see his whole family as nuts than deny the government he trusted in or whatever. But now it’s all going to hell and really, he’s just got to, he’s just got to realize that and if he’s – I liked Percy. Before he split up with the family, he was a good character and Fred and George were slightly unfair to him here and there, but it was enjoyable. It was all in good fun. But now he’s like this complete jackass. If Percy’s got any ounce of sense and if JKR wants to do justice to his character, I think he’d be a smart enough guy to finally admit when he’s wrong, when it’s sitting on his face. I think he’ll finally admit it that he’s wrong, and I think they’ll take him in.

Ben: Mhm. Okay, thank you.

Staged Fight

Micah: Well, well, what did you think about the whole idea that Percy and Arthur staged this whole thing?

Eric: That’s crap. That’s completely – I really, I don’t know. That’s like Dumbledore asking Arthur, “Will you go to bed with your wife…” Be quiet, Micah.

Micah: [laughs] What?

Eric: “…night after night and have her…” No. “Will you put up with going to bed every night and hearing your wife sobbing herself to sleep because of Percy? Can you stand that? For two years or however, however long this may last? Arthur, will you stage this whole thing?” And I’m sure Molly would have begged him to tell her if it was staged. “Please, Arthur, I’ll understand.” Could Molly really not be trusted? Or is it that Molly needs to believe it’s true if it’s a fake because then the family needs to believe it’s true to be a fake. But what good would come of staging it?

Matt: That’s what I was wondering.

Andrew: Micah?

Eric: In the first place…

Matt: It’s a really weak theory.

Micah: No, nothing good would come of it. I’m just saying it’s…

Andrew: Is this a theory you heard or something?

Micah: …something that I’ve heard out there before.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Micah: Yeah, it’s just something that was out there. People thought that’s why Percy had that sudden change in personality. That he was actually working for Dumbledore – was just trying to get information out of the Minister.

Percy and Tom Riddle Similarities

Ben: There’s – it’s important to bring up that there are some similarities between Percy and Tom Riddle. Things like that they’re both very ambitious; and that they’re both former Head Boys; and that they also both disregard their families in attempt to seize power. So, it raises the question, what side do you think that Percy is really on?

Eric: I think it’s a bad example. Because, there are so many conclusions you can draw between Harry and Voldemort, but they’re not the same people.

Matt: I was just going to say that.

Eric: You can draw so many conclusions between Harry and Voldemort, that it’s really not a good basis for – I mean, yeah, well, Harry’s family sucks, too.

Andrew: Well…

Ben: Right, but Harry’s already proven his allegiance to the Order. Percy hasn’t. So…

Eric: What’s that mean?

Ben: …do you think that he… [laughs] …which side is he on?

Andrew: Yeah, that’s what he’s asking.

Ben: Is he a Death Eater or is he a member of the Order of the Phoenix?

Andrew: I don’t think Percy’s a Death Eater. That’s getting…

Eric: I think Percy will go on whatever side requires most paperwork, which, actually, probably means the good side.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Because the dark side now is turning – no, this is a good analysis.

Ben: They don’t – they don’t keep their records.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: [laughs] The dark side doesn’t keep their records. They don’t do their homework. They just go in blastin’, guns a blazin’ or wands a blazin’, and they don’t really do anything. So, I think Percy would have more fun on the good side, actually, doing paperwork. See, up until now, the government’s been like this neutral area for Percy, I think. It’s not the good side nor the dark side. It’s the side that runs the government. It’s the side that runs the people who are torn between the good side and the dark side. But now, that government is gone. Now, it’s either good or bad.

Ben: Okay. And if Percy actually was a Death Eater, he would be closer to his family. No, but here – here, because if he was a Death Eater, Voldemort would want him to be closer to his family, because then he would be able to relay information from Arthur and Molly, who are both members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Eric: Yeah, but I’m not comfortable thinking of Percy as either a good nor a bad guy. Put it this way: he was so up what was it? Fudge’s butt? Or it was…[laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Eric: One of those guys.

Ben: Crouch.

Eric: Crouch. Thank you. It was Mr. Crouch this, Mr. Crouch that. Why are we not to believe that it’s not Mr. Scrimgeour this, and Mr. Scrimgeour that, now? I mean, of course, he doesn’t say that to the Weasleys because he doesn’t talk to them, but I’m just thinking he’d be interested in authority. And, put it this way, if Scrimgeour’s not a Death Eater, I don’t think Percy is going to be, because Percy really cares about whatever authority is in position. Unless Percy loses his faith in government, he is still going to stay on the government’s side, which actually is now Harry’s side.

Ben: Right. And he seems to be the type that is all about following the rules. [imitating Percy] “No wandering the halls after dark. I’m a prefect.” You know? That type of stuff. So, that makes sense for him to be on the good side just because he’s a law-abiding citizen.

Matt: Well, and also, even though parallels exist between him and Voldemort, they are very different, because even though they are both very ambitious, they are ambitious for different reasons. Percy is ambitious because he has all these brothers he’s competing with and he wants to be better than them, but Voldemort is just ambitious because he wants to have power, and, well – Percy also is lusting for power, but a different kind, like the political power, not the going to your house and killing you. Yeah. Well, some politicians want that.

Ben: Absolute power? [laughs]

Eric: I don’t know. Yeah. I see Percy as less of a person who’s trying to live up to the expectations of his brothers. I think that’s Ron. That’s Ron. Definitely in Book 1, that’s Ron. I think Percy is more of the guy who realizes that he has, what, six, five brothers, and a sister. He’s got this huge family. He’s got five brothers and a sister, he’s got parents. Who has seven kids? Do you just not care about the cost of money. You’re a poor family, and you’re having all these kids? Put it this way: I think Percy’s the kind of guy who really wants to create a world for his family. He wants to create order and kind of – he wants to create a name for himself, because normally, not only are the Weasleys considered blood traitors by the arrogant pricks who are purebloods, but they are a family of seven people! Or seven kids! You know? Percy – all Percy wants is respect. That’s all he’s asking for. He just wants to gain…

Andrew: Well, I just think…

Ben: [laughs and sings] R-E-S-P-E-C-T…

Waiting For Ginny

Andrew: I just think everyone after Bill was an accident, to be honest.

[Everybody laughs]

Andrew: You know? It’s like…

Ben: It looks like Arthur is perfectly okay with going to bed with Molly every night [laughs].

[Andrew, Eric, and Micah laugh]

Andrew: You know [laughs] what I was just thinking? What if they were just waiting to get a girl? Like for some reason, Molly really wanted a girl?

Ben: That’s reasonable.

Eric: Are you sure that can’t be magically done? You can’t magically do that?

Andrew: Okay. Obviously, you can’t magically do that.

Micah: Wow.

Eric: Maybe magic birth control?

Andrew: Well, you could call it magic.

Ben: Yeah.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: No, but seriously, though, if they could magically do “it,” are you sure they would want to single out Ginny like that, and have five boys and one girl?

Eric: Well, put it this way, okay? I think Ginny was worth waiting through, like, what, five boys for. I mean, Ginny’s the key female. She’s a strong girl. That’s pretty good genes.

Ben: Six boys, actually.

Andrew: [laughs] Eric!

Eric: Bill, no, wait – Bill, Charlie, the twins, and Ron.

Andrew: And Percy.

Ben: And Percy.

Eric: Oh, well…

Andrew: He doesn’t count [laughs].

Eric: Percy’s a prat. He’s not in the family. He’s disagreeing with the family. He doesn’t count [laughs].

Ben: Well, that wraps up our Character Discussion about Percy Weasley.

Andrew: Does it? Oh, okay.

Eric: Shut down.

Ben: We’re running out of characters, folks. This is saddening – a saddening day.

Andrew: Yeah. I liked…

Eric: Like we’re running out of chapters.

Andrew: Yeah. I like that segment. You know why? Because it was organized.

Ben: Why?

Andrew: Yay!

Eric: No, it wasn’t.

Ben: Mhm. Thank you – very.

Eric: No, it was not!

Andrew: It was very – it went in an orderly fashion.

Ben: Shhh! [Cell phone beeps]

Andrew: Oh, no!

Ben: Hey.

[Andrew laughs]

Spy On Spartz

Ben: Well, folks, it’s time to have a little bit of fun here. It’s time for this week’s Spy on Spartz.

[Phone rings]

Andrew: Waiting with baited breath.

[Phone rings again]

Andrew: Hey, keep the phone close to the mic this time.

[Phone rings again]

Emerson: Hey.

Ben: Hey, what are you doing?

Emerson: Well, watching television right now.

Ben: Well, that’s fun. We’re recording MuggleCast, and we’re Spying on Spartz.

Emerson: Didn’t you do that earlier today?

Ben: No! Earlier? No! We’re recording right now. So, what’s up? Tell me what’s up. We’re spying on you.

Emerson: So, who was that earlier today, then? You and Andrew?

Ben: Uh, no. We didn’t – I was at work all day, so…

[Andrew laughs]

Emerson: Right.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Who are you?

Emerson: Yeah. That’s what I just said. Really.

Ben: No, no one called you. I did not call you earlier. Someone else may have. I tried calling you three times this afternoon, but you didn’t answer. I called your house, too. Did Papa forget to pay the phone bill?

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Because no one answered.

Emerson: Ummm, why would that have anything to do with the phone bill?

Ben: Because – I don’t know. [laughs] Okay, well, we’re done Spying on Spartz, because you’re no fun.

Emerson: [laughs] Yeah, you’re probably not happy with that.

Ben: What’d you say?

Emerson: I take it you’re a little unhappy with that.

Ben: No one could understand you, dude.

Emerson: All right. Fine.

Ben: Bye, Emerson.

Emerson: Bye, everybody.

Andrew: I have this great new idea for Spy on Spartz. Ben, you call him up. He says, “Hey.: You say, “Hey, what are you doing?” He answers, and then you just hang up. [laughs]

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Seriously, do it next week.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: It’d be so funny, Ben. He’s awkward.

Spy On Spartz: Take Two

Ben: Okay. Actually, we’re redoing Spy on Spartz.

Andrew: What do you mean we’re redoing it?

[Ben’s phone beeps]

Andrew: No! Don’t call him back! No!

Eric: Ask him about the Caption Contest!

Andrew: What are you going to – what are you going to say to him?

Ben: Yes. Okay.

[Phone rings]

[Phone rings again]

[Phone rings again]

Emerson: Hello?

Ben: Why is the Earth round?

Emerson: Why is the Earth round. Ummm, how do you know it’s round?

Ben: Because I’ve been all the way around it, and Columbus said so.

Emerson: How do you know you’ve been around it and you haven’t just been from one side to the other?

Ben: Oh, that’s a good point. I don’t know. Do you think the Earth is round?

Emerson: Uhhh, why would I think the Earth’s round? I mean, I walk from here to the kitchen, and everything is – I don’t feel like I’m walking in a giant circle.

[Eric laughs]

Ben: That’s true. I don’t know. Maybe the Earth isn’t round.

Eric: Emerson’s world is.

Emerson: If the Earth is round, think about Alaska, okay? If the Earth is round, and you’re on one side of the Earth, why wouldn’t you just fall off? What’s keeping you holding on if you’re not on the North Pole?

Eric: Gravity.

Ben: Hmmm. I don’t know. Eric said, “Gravity.” What about gravity?

Emerson: Yeah, what?!

Ben: Gravity.

Emerson: That’s a myth.

Ben: Hey…

Emerson: Tell him how unscientific that is.

Ben: Hey, Eric wants to know if you realize that it’s been 42 weeks since he started the Caption Contest – 42 months, I mean. Forty-two months.

Emerson: I was actually planning a surprise 42-month Caption Contest party for him.

Ben: Awww, geez. You’re so sweet.

Eric: Awww, crap.

Ben: Awww.

[Micah laughs]

Emerson: But now it’s all ruined.

Ben: It’s all ruined, huh? [laughs] Yeah. Well, thanks, Emerson. Bye.

Emerson: If you ever have an more questions, you know, the meaning of life or whatever, just hit me up…

Ben: Okay, we will.

Emerson: I’ll have all the answers.

Micah: Why does Notre Dame suck?

[Eric laughs]

Ben: Hey, Micah has a good question for you.

Emerson: Okay.

Ben: He wants to know why Notre Dame sucks?

Emerson: Uhhh, see, here’s the thing. Notre Dame doesn’t suck because I’m pretty sure Micah went to Syracuse and I’m pretty sure Notre Dame beat Syracuse 34-10.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Ohhh.

Micah: In football, how about basketball?

Ben: He said, “What about basketball?”

Emerson: Ummm, I’m pretty sure basketball doesn’t matter.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Yet he plays it every day.

Emerson: I’m also pretty sure Notre Dame put up a pretty good fight, though, whereas Syracuse did not put up a good fight on the football field.

Ben: Yep, yep.

Emerson: Syracuse pretty much bent over and took it.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben: Well, I think we’re done spying on you Emerson.

Emerson: All right then.

Ben: You get back to doing whatever you were doing. Talk to you later, buddy.

Emerson: Bye.

Eric: Emerson’s world is from his couch to his kitchen. You heard it right here, folks.

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Eric: [imitating Emerson] It doesn’t feel like I’m walking in a circle.

Gimme A Butterbeer: Stop Spoiling Harry

Andrew: All right. So this week – oh, he’s online. You should have just IMed him. Anyway. This week, Gimme a Butterbeer, once again. Ben, this segment is like the pinnacle of all Gimme a Butterbeer segments.

Ben: Of MuggleCast. Oh, this one’s a good one. But before we move on to next week’s topic, it’s pertinent – no, it’s pertinent that I clarify something. I received another overwhelming response to last week’s topic. Last week when I talked about the different age groups that read Harry Potter, I claimed that a ten year old couldn’t read the books on the same level that the people on this show do. I still believe this is true.

Eric: What?

Ben: Don’t get me wrong, not all ten year olds read it from an adventurous boy wizard point of view, but I’d be willing to bet the majority do. I do apologize, however, to anyone that I offended; the point I was trying to make is that different age groups read the book for different reasons. However, there is one common thread for all Harry – that all Harry Potter fan share: they can’t wait to find out for themselves what’s happening in the next book. Which leads us into this week’s discussion: Stop spoiling Harry!

On July 15th, 2005 (the eve of the release of Half-Blood Prince) I was standing in the Hilton hotel behind MuggleNet’s Senior Systems manager, Damon Brangers, who was typing away at his computer. Unfortunately for me, he opens a link – he opened a link that he received in a chat window and on the screen, in size 48 font read “SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE. SNAPE IS A DEATH EATER.” And below the text was a scan of the page where Dumbledore dies. Thanks, Damon!

Well, perhaps I shouldn’t blame Damon. I think my hatred for spoilers goes back a little further. In the Spring of 2005, some creative person thought they would be funny and steal a copy of Half-Blood Prince off the back of a truck. Luckily, the thief was caught, but not without doing some damage. Following the theft of the book, bookies holding betting pools for the death of a character in the next book, started to receive an extraordinary amount of bets placed on Albus Dumbledore dying. Sure, it may have just been speculation at the time, but when you begin to consider the situation, it all made perfect sense.

Spoilers on the web go as far back as Order of the Phoenix. One fateful day in late May 2003, our beloved webmaster Emerson Spartz received a scan of the page where Sirius Black dies. He’s still a little bit bitter about that one.

Okay, so I need to be honest. I have spoiled the book for a person or two. At the Spellbound release party in Chicago last Summer, I took immense pleasure in torturing Matt Vines by saying “Mmmm dies” or “Hey Matt, want to know who dies?”

[Everyone laughs]

Matt: I just want to mention you wrote a big “D” on my wall, and said “This character dies.”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Oh my god!

Ben: The last tome of the Harry Potter series is likely to be released sometime next year. The bottom line is: people do not want to know. They want to find out for themselves; particularly for those of us who run the websites, it’s nearly impossible to steer clear of spoilers.

As the release of the book nears, we’re likely to have a few minor things spoiled for us. As the staff of MuggleNet, we’ll pledge to make sure to warn you when we post spoilers on the site. By spoiling the book for those around you, you rob them of the opportunity to genuinely enjoy the book for themselves. Enough is enough. Stop spoiling Harry!

I’m Ben Schoen and I say Gimme a Butterbeer!

Matt: Ben, you have absolutely no room to talk. You spoiled who died for me in the sixth book!

[Andrew and Micah laugh]

Ben: Okay, I did not actually spoil anything! And you saw it anyways, because – don’t you remember Jeff? It popped up on Jeff’s screen.

Matt: No, what I saw…

Ben: You’re destroying my credibility, Matt.

Matt: On Jeff’s screen was “Snape is the Half-Blood Prince,” in like, size 72 font, and I was pretty mad about that, too.

Ben: Okay, “D” was definitely for Dawlish. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t think it’s the fans who are spoiling it. I think it’s these people who hate Harry Potter and just, you know?

Ben: Not necessarily.

Andrew: I don’t know.

Ben: There is the big jerk wads who go on the comments on MuggleNet and post…

Andrew: Well, that’s…

Ben: …”Snape dies!” “Sirius dies!” Or whatever, “Snape’s evil!” So…

Andrew: [laughs] Well, that’s true.

Matt: It’s why you should deactivate comments! Really!

Ben: Because what will happen is – what will happen is we’ll make a news post and black out the text so you have to highlight it to read it if you want it to be spoiled for you, and then some wisenheimer will take the text, and pastes it into the comments for every one to read.

Eric: [laughs] Well, at least you have to log in to do that kind of crap. [laughs]

Eric: But, anyway. No, about that: Ben mentioned in his initial Gimme a Butterbeer – well, this one he mentioned that spoiling the book goes back to, I guess he said Order of the Phoenix when Sirius died. And you traced it back to there. And I don’t know where your statistics are, but if you trace it back to there, it’s interesting to say that Book 4 was really the first book where it had the combined release date, right? Between the US and Britain? Or was it Book 5?

Ben: Yeah. It was Book 4.

Eric: Okay, well so it was Book 4. So, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to make my point on, but the more people care about a book like this, it seems like the more people take the opportunity at hand to spoil it. They’re getting this big crowd. Nobody really spoiled Goblet of Fire, that we know of, for people; but once Order of the Phoenix was coming out it was this huge thing, phenomenon, and people are starting to send e-mails to the fan sites, and just abusing that. I think the more people that care about something, the more likely it is that someone will abuse that care.

Micah: I think you’re also given more information about the books beforehand as the series goes along, so you know to expect certain things in certain books, and so people can pick those out a lot easier. What’s stopping somebody from thumbing through the book in the store and just screaming out to everybody in the store that Dumbledore dies on page whatever.

Eric: [laughs] Yeah.

Ben: 692.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: [laughs] Ben knows it because he shouts to little kiddies as he drives by on his way to the PO box.

Ben: Yep. [laughs] I shout it at the Matt Vines of the world.

[Andrew laughs]

Andrew: Well, that’s…

Eric: Honestly.

Andrew: The classic video is of those guys pulling up in a car in front of the Barnes and Noble and yelling it out.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: And those girls, they scream with – ohhh. It was – it was hard to watch. They were just so upset. They were all like, [screams like a girl] “Noooooooo!”

Eric: [laughs] The camera stopped working.

Ben: It caused- it cause pandemonium.

Andrew: [laughs] I should do that.

Eric: Honestly, though. You guys talked about the highlight-able text and that kind of thing on MuggleNet, and MuggleNet has a pretty cool, I’ll admit it, a pretty cool spoiler policy, but I peeked. And you know that?

Andrew: Peeked at what?

Eric: That’s the truth. I peeked. I got to open Book 5, and you know what I did? I went to “Beyond the Veil” and…

Ben: [laughs] Me too.

Eric: And I found the section that – no, I actually missed it. I skipped over it by accident and then I found the part in Book 5 where Harry is screaming at Dumbledore. Who couldn’t miss it, you know? Capitalization for every paragraph. But, it was, “‘SO SIRIUS DESERVED WHAT HE GOT, DID HE?’ shouted Harry.” And Dumbledore’s all like, “I’m not saying that, but this happened.” And I’m like, “Oh my god, it’s Sirius.” And, I pulled up to the Barnes and Nobles with Galadriel Waters, and I went up to her, and I said…

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Don’t mention her!

Eric: Okay. [laughs] But I pulled up – we were going to the Barnes and Nobles, the day after Oak Park, and I skipped ahead, and I didn’t want to tell anybody, but I went up to Galadriel and I said, “I know who dies.” But I peeked! And so you’re talking about fans wanting to find out for themselves, but at the same time, I myself couldn’t actually wait until I got to it. I actually did peek. So, it’s interesting…

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: …because we give ourselves – and you said you did the same thing. So, it’s interesting to say that we want to find out for ourselves, when we kind of cheat ourselves in the same way that other people might cheat us. It’s kind of like – somebody kind of told me how X-Men 3 was going to go, some of the things that would happen. They didn’t tell me the most of it, but they told me some of it, and I actually thought that it did me good. I thought that watching it, I was able to create a different perspective, where I knew what could happen, so then I could say, “Then what?” And I could kind of view it differently. I don’t know. Do spoilers – are they all bad, or are they all good? And don’t we spoil ourselves when we read it?

Matt: Well, X-Men 3 isn’t exactly as complex as Harry Potter.

[Ben laughs]

Matt: Like, that was pretty – I don’t know. There were parts of the X-Men plot that were just pretty stupid. But, knowing…

Eric: That’s fine.

Matt: Okay, but knowing who the Half-Blood Prince is throughout the entire sixth book just ruins a lot of the suspense, because there’s all these clues there, and the whole time you’re like, “Well, it’s Snape.” And it’s just not very exciting.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Matt, I don’t know what you were doing to avoid finding out who was the Half-Blood Prince, but it got to the point where I was so nervous that I was going to find out, that I could not read any e-mail – zero, like a week before.

Matt: I didn’t read e-mail for two weeks, and I still have 1,000 unread messages. Whoops.

Andrew: [laughs] From mid-July.

Matt: Yeah.

Andrew: I mean, because I had sort of found out. I had glanced at one real quick, but I didn’t know it would have a spoiler, people try to trick you. And then… So, I just stopped looking at e-mail.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Because I didn’t want to find out anymore. It stinks.

Eric: Ben, I was in Ohio, and then you wouldn’t tell me, but you gave me hints, and I kind of liked that. Like, because…

Ben: Oh that’s right, didn’t I?

Eric: Yeah, because Ben talked to me. Sorry, Micah. But Ben told me about the whole Damon story, because I was in Ohio at the time, in Hudson, doing a book release there I was helping with. But Ben told me then. And I said, well “Who dies?” and “Who’s the Half-Blood Prince?” and stuff. And he told me that it wasn’t a student, or something, and you gave me different hints, and you wouldn’t tell me, which I thank you for, but at the same time, I really – you know, I didn’t peek for Book 6. I didn’t really peek that it was Dumbledore, but Ben had told me enough that I really kind of enjoyed the viewpoint, because I thought, well who else could it be?

Micah: I was just going to say, though, that you can spoil it just by looking at the image on the “Flight of the Prince” chapter. I mean, you know who it is just by looking at the picture that’s there, before it even gets to him saying that he’s the Half-Blood Prince.

Eric: I don’t know, you kind of do, but at the same time, Mary GrandPre doesn’t necessarily always illustrate the name of the chapter, or the object they’re talking about in the chapter.

Ben: That’s true.

Eric: The one in Book One with Peeves on it, dropping sticks, the chapter isn’t Peeves, it’s something like “Entering the Great Hall,” or something like that. But, I mean, yeah, kind of…

Micah: But if you look at pg. 597, where it says “Flight of the Prince,” there’s a picture of Snape right there.

Eric: Micah, with your page numbers, and your Book 5 in front of you. Whatever, just whatever. Whatever, T-Baum. Okay. Whatever.

Ben: [laughs] Whatever Tanny.

Eric: You’re too good for me. You really are, I’m sorry. No, but honestly, you’re true. But who reads – who goes through, though, and actually… What I do, when I get a Harry Potter book, a new one, I read the table of contents. I do, just to get an idea of what the chapters say. And I don’t know what they say, I don’t understand them. I mean, like, “Legilimency,” what the hell is that? I don’t know. But I read the chapters – I read the names of the chapters in the table of contents, then I move on to Chapter One, but I don’t actually go through and see the chapter images of each one. I mean, does anybody do that? Does anybody actually…

Micah: I’m sure people do.

Eric: …turn to the page?

Ben: Well, that’s actually how I spoiled it for myself with Order of the Phoenix. I turned to “The Only One He Ever Feared,” and I looked on the opposite page, and it had Harry screaming Sirius’ name, and then on the first page of that chapter it said, “‘He’s gone, Harry,’ says Lupin.”

Eric: Ohhh.

Andrew: It’s like, “Nooo!”

Eric: The chapter headers, to me, are just entertainment for mid-reading. Like, okay, you just read a chapter, look at this happy picture and then read on. I don’t actually look at the pictures before I get to them in the books.

Ben: Right.

Eric: I read the name of the chapters, but I don’t look at the pictures.

Ben: Okay. Well, that wraps up this week’s Gimme a Butterbeer. Hope you guys enjoyed that. If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for future Butterbeers, please shoot me an e-mail at ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Or, by selecting “Ben” from the drop down menu on the contact page. Thanks!

This Week In Potter History: Order Of The Phoenix Book Release

Andrew: It’s time this week to have a little mini-discussion about This Week in Potter History. Is this a segment, or a discussion?

Ben: I don’t know, we’ll see. We’ll have it as a segment when it applies. I came up with this last night. But it’s important. We’ll see what happened this week in Potter history.

Micah: Your creative mind is always working, you know that?

Ben: It is always working. On June 21st, 2003, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was released. Where were you? It’s just time to reminisce about where you were.

Andrew: So long ago.

Ben: Let me share my story: on June 21st, I was – actually, it would be June 20th I went to the bookstore, at midnight, in a local town, and I got the book. I was with a friend, I got the book, I ran outside the bookstore, and I flipped to the very last page and I saw them saying goodbye. And I saw Lupin talking about something on the back page. And, I automatically assumed that Harry was going to live with Sirius. And so I told my friend, “Oh, I just read the back page! Harry’s going to go live with Sirius!” And yeah, I was way off.

Matt: Why did you tell your friend that, Ben?

Ben: But, yeah, that’s my story. Wasn’t anything special.

Eric: But, you peeked.

Ben: Sort of.

Eric: So, that doesn’t mean – our whole thing isn’t really closed. I was saying how spoiling – we do it to ourselves anyway.

Andrew: Of course, we always do.

Ben: Where were you June 21st, Eric?

Eric: Oak Park.

Ben: Who were you with?

Eric: Doing the first ever MuggleNet event.

Andrew: Ooh, right.

Ben: Hey, who was that you were with?

Eric: Uh, Dylan and – no, Emerson was in Europe.

Andrew: Oh, yeah, why was he there?

Eric: Emerson was with Jamie.

Ben: He went to see Jamie.

Eric: No, he was with Jamie, and they did the Waterstones Piccadilly.

Ben: Waterstones.

Eric: And they were there for the Book Five release. And then, I was with Wizarding World Press, and then I set it up with the town of Oak Park, who were doing their event before we came along. They were turning their local stores into Diagon Alley, and then so Galadriel phoned them up and said, “Well, hey, I have this associate here who works on this great website, and we are authors of this good Harry Potter book, and so could we help somehow?’ And then Oak Park said, “Sure, what do you want to do?” And we decided to do the wizards chess, the live wizards chess. Anyway, but then, so Papa Spartz and Dylan were actually there too, so I met them. In fact, to this day, until New York, I hadn’t met Emerson, I’d just met his whole family, and his little brother.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: That’s funny.

Eric: His littler brother, who ate dog food or whatever. So, I kind of hung out with them and Galadriel. Anyway, and so that was Oak Park. That was the first book event, and then I was the – I guess you could call me the emcee. I was up on stage and announcing stuff…

Andrew: Awww, that’s adorable.

Eric: …with the microphone. It was really funny.

Andrew: My story, I was, you see, I was on a mission. I used to – I don’t know if many people know this, but I used to run a different Harry Potter website that was…

Ben: Harry Potter’s House, baby.

Andrew: …second to none only to MuggleNet, and yeah. I just did my own little site and got like 500 visitors a day, and it was wonderful.

Eric: Called the Leaky Cauldron! [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, it was called The Leaky Cauldron. I went to the local midnight party just to take pictures for the site and all that. [in a deep voice] I was like a reporter, you know? I was reporting on it.

Eric: [imitating Andrew] Yeah! Yeah!

Andrew: That’s my story. Not very exciting. [laughs]

Ben: Where were you, Micah?

Micah: I was actually working at Shea Stadium at the time, for the New York Mets. I had not even picked up a Harry Potter book at that time.

Ben: Were you a hot dog vendor, Micah?

[Andrew laughs]

Micah: No, I was not a hot dog vendor. [laughs]

Ben: [laughs] Then what did you do at Shea Stadium?

Micah: I was a marketing intern at the time.

Eric: So, he marketed hot dogs.

Ben: Geez! You’re a big intern, dude.

Micah: I know!

Eric: He marketed hot dogs.

Ben: You just intern everywhere.

Micah: So, I’m sorry, that wasn’t very interesting, but…

Ben: Yeah, that was terrible.

Micah: …I didn’t really read the series until the…

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Matthew Vines, where were you? He was in Texas on a choir trip, weren’t you?

Matt: No, I was actually doing global warming research in Antarctica and I had to pay Amazon $5,000 to ship me the book, but they did, so…

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: I almost believed you.

Micah: Now that was funny.

Eric: Did you know I almost believed you?

Ben: Where were you really, Matt?

Matt: Oh, yeah. I was in Dallas and I didn’t get the book until eight o’clock that morning, and I actually – we went home that day or the next day, so I was reading in the car, and I get really carsick when I read. I had to decide whether or not I wanted – well, whether I wanted to read Harry Potter or throw up, so I chose… I mean, sorry. Starting over. Well, not really, sort of starting over. So, I had to decide whether or not I was going to read Harry Potter or stop – no. [laughs] Hang on, [yells] starting over again!

Eric: See, who’s more annoying when he can’t make up his mind? Me or Matt? It’s close, I know.

Andrew and Ben: You.

[Micah laughs]

Eric: Oh, shut up.

Andrew: No, not at all. Not close at all.

Matt: I had to decide whether I was going to keep reading and throw up or stop reading, so I chose to throw up, which is really disgusting. But, I did finish the book on the way home, so it was exciting.

Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: Last segment for this week: Chicken Soup for the MuggleCast Soul. This one comes from Kyla, 14, of Lake Charles, Louisiana. Sorry if I got your name wrong. She writes:

“Hey MuggleCasters, and Micah. I live in Louisiana and was evacuated for Hurricane Rita last September. Laura and you guys were one of the only pieces of relief I had in a really, really, really tiny Texas town while I was worrying about if I had a home still. You made me breathe a little easier. I did come back and my house had little damage, though thanks to you all, I wasn’t going crazy. I’d like to say that Andrew rocks and Laura has great theories.”

I did not pick this one because it said that! I didn’t even know it did. [laughs]

“Thanks, Kyla.”

So, thanks Kyla, and – we need to make a list of everything that MuggleCast does. Soothe babies, prevent illness, stop headaches somehow.

Eric: Write giant “D”s in front of Matt Vines.

Ben: Poor Matt.

Eric: Because Dudley dies in Book 5.

Micah: Well, I just wanted to thank you guys, though, because while I was flying, I did listen to MuggleCast the entire time both to and from Las Vegas.

Ben: Geez!

Eric: What episodes?

Andrew: Awww!

Ben: What episodes?

Micah: The – I think, like, 34 through 39.

Andrew: Oh wow, that’s awesome.

Show Close

Andrew [Show Close with music in background]: All right! Well, that does wrap up Episode 44 of MuggleCast. Next week we will bring back listener rebuttals. It’s been a crazy time around here people because we’ve all been finishing up school, Ben’s been finishing up farting around.

Ben: Micah was out of the office.

Andrew: Yeah, Micah was out of the office. [laughs] It’s been crazy. We’ll get back [laughs] on track next week with voicemails and all that. See, Kevin does the voicemails, and if he doesn’t do it, we don’t know how to. So… [laughs]

Eric: That’s bull crap!

Andrew: Because he, like, has this – no, I tried earlier today, and all the voicemails weren’t there because he downloads them all. So anyway, we’ll be back to normal format – well, not normal format. We’ll bring back listener – no, voice rebuttals and voicemails next week. Don’t forget, if you have a question, comment, or suggestion – [laughs] I was going to say question, comment, question, suggestion – please email mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Voicemails can be directed to 1-218-20-MAGIC. Australian numbers are now available in Skype. It’s now a matter of us just not being lazy, and then we will purchase one. [laughs] You can also Skype the username “MuggleCast” to leave a voicemail. Please keep your message under thirty seconds. Listener rebuttals can also be sent into mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. MuggleCast – [laughs] boy, we’re building up our thing here! So, that does it for Episode 44. Once again, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I am Ben Schoen.

Eric: I am Eric Scull.

Micah: I’m Micah Tannenbaum.

Matt: And I’m Matthew Vines.

Andrew: We’ll see everyone next week once again for Episode 45. Goodnight, everyone.


Ben: …has a somewhat melodramatic nature. She interprets things in a way that, way that two or, way that makes her [stumbles over his words] – that to her makes the most sense. [laughs]

Andrew: What happens when Eric loses his Skype connection and gets called by other fans while we’re recording the show? [sighs] Of course, he just can not resist:

Eric: Hello?

[Voices in the background]: Oh, hey, he actually answered!

Eric: Hi.

[Voices talk]

Eric: What’s up?

[Voices talk]

Eric: What’s going on?

[Voices]: I can’t believe he actually answered! Hi, Eric!

Eric: You guys – you cut me off of MuggleCast.

[Voices talk]

Eric: I was – I’m just recording with the guys. I’m recording…

[Voices]: Oh, really?

Eric: Yeah, I’m recording the show right now. This is being said on my recording of the show.

[Voices]: Oh, cool.

Eric: So like, about an hour.

[Voices talk]

Eric: They probably won’t hear you. Andrew will just hear me interrupting everybody with a completely different tone and – no, because they can’t hear you. So, I’ve got to go, and you’re on my recording. You… So, I have to leave and get back in sync with the show. Okay, bye!

[Voices]: Bye!

Eric: Freaking Skype people. That’s what Ben gets for not answering me!


Written by: Micah, Ally, Amanda, David, Jessica, Margaret, Martina, Rhiannon, Roni, and Sarah