Transcript #63

MuggleCast 63 Transcript

Show Intro

Andrew: Get $96.00 in free extras from your domain name from Each domain includes free hosting with a website builder, a free blog, complete email and much more. Plus, as a MuggleCast listener just enter code “Muggle” when you checkout and save an additional ten percent on any order. Some restrictions apply, see site for details. Get your own piece of the internet today at

[Show Intro music]

Andrew: Because Tuesday is an important day for all fans of the show, this is MuggleCast Episode 63 for November 12, 2006.

[More show intro music]

Pickle Appreciation Day

Andrew: Did you guys know Tuesday, November 14th is National Pickle Day?

Laura: I did not.

Jamie: Can’t say I did.

Andrew: Really? Why not? It’s like a big national holiday.

Jamie Yeah.

Andrew: Actually, it’s – sorry it’s Pickle Appreciation Day.

Jamie: Sorry, who created this? Who created…

Laura: We don’t eat pickles in Georgia.

Andrew: I don’t know, Jamie, I don’t know. I tried to look it up and I couldn’t find any information on it.

Jamie: The American Pickle Society.

Andrew: Someone emailed in and then I went on – they gave me a link to a greeting card website, you know where you can send greeting cards for like holidays?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: And there is one for Pickle Appreciation Day. So, we’ll provide the link in the show notes and everyone can go send each other Pickle Appreciation Day e-cards via e-mail.

Jamie: Which you’ll all want to do, definitely.

Andrew: Yeah, and please send some to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. So I hope everyone is going to be celebrating, I know I am.

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Ben: And eating a lot of pickles.

Andrew: I will be eating various assortments of pickles that day and…

Laura: Well, you know…

Ben: Raise your hand if you like pickles.

Andrew: I’m raising my hand, Ben, over here.

Jamie: I’m half raising my hand. It’s a love-hate thing.

Ben: I hate them.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Actually, no, I’m kidding I really hate the taste of them, they’re bad.

Ben: Like, when I get a hamburger, I just have it plain – just cheese.

Andrew: Yeah, me too. Ketchup only.

Ben: Yeah, ketchup – ketchup only.

Laura: Oh, no, I love pickles on my hamburgers. They’re good.

Eric: No, yeah – pickles on a cheeseburger. I only eat pickles if they…

Jamie: Ben, are you the kind of person who goes to McDonald’s and is like, “Yeah, please can I have a Big Mac, but please can I not have cheese…”

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: “…but please can I have extra mayonnaise, but please can I have no pickles.”

Ben: No, no, no, I say, “can I…”

[Jamie laughs]

Ben: I think I’m going to say, “Can I get a cheeseburger plain?”

Jamie: Ben?

Ben: Then I apply my own ketchup later.

Eric: It takes them significantly longer though…

Jamie: Of course it does, of course it does.

Eric: …Ben, I just pull off the pickles.

Andrew: Speaking of McDonald’s, we have a special new listener challenge later in the show that is going to change the way we all visit McDonalds. I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I am Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

[More show intro Music]

Jamie: Hey Ben, can you walk into Subway and just say “Yeah, I’ll have my usual?”

Ben: I used to be able to, but I haven’t been to Subway in months.

Jamie: Really?

Ben: Because I told people to stop sending me cards because I felt so bad.

Laura: I went to Subway in New York City.

Jamie: I love Subway.

Ben: Well, yeah, you traveled 3,000 miles to go to Subway.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Speaking of New York City [laughs], that was the only seg-way I could think of, Micah Tannenbaum is in our imaginary MuggleCast News Center with the past week’s top Harry Potter news stories.


Micah: Earlier this week we reported that Michael Hoffman was slated to direct the sixth Potter film. WB has now confirmed that this is not true, however Production Weekly’s latest issue contains information concerning Half Blood Prince, including that David Yates is set to direct the film. While everyone should consider this a rumor for now, we heard that David has been in talks with WB.

Emma Thompson, who plays Professor Sibyl Trelawney, was interviewed on Jonathan Ross where she mainly discussed her new film Stranger Than Fiction while speaking a little about Harry Potter. A video of this appearance can be seen over at and Emma also did interviews with Newsweek, USA Today, and made an appearance on The Ellen Show.

Jason Isaacs, the Lucius Malfoy actor, appeared on the UK chat show This Morning, where he discussed the Potter films, mentioned that he finished filming his scenes for Order of the Phoenix last week.

In a recent interview Daniel Radcliffe was asked if he would be playing a death in Movie Seven, and he suggested that Harry might die in the final book. He was quoted as saying, “That’s the only way JK Rowling could ever halt any call for her to keep writing the Potter books, because I mean if Harry survives she’ll just be getting plagued by requests to write an eighth book for the rest of her life.”

In celebration of their 60th publication anniversary Time Europe reflected on the heroes that have immerged in the past six decades. Jo Rowling made the list, along with dozens of other inspirational figures.

And according to a poll by hotel company Travelodge, Jo has the fifth biggest fan base in the United Kingdom. The Harry Potter author ranks behind Manchester United, pop star Robbie Williams, and the Liverpool Football Club. I hear Andrew is crying U2 didn’t make the list, but Andrew, don’t worry this is after all poll by a hotel company.

As we reported last month the American Library Association asked teen readers to vote for their favorite book as part of Teen Read Week. The Association has announced the winners and, no doubt due to MuggleNetters voting, Half Blood Prince topped the list.

Leslie Phillips, voice of the Sorting Hat, joins the guest line-up for Collector Mania G-Mex, scheduled to take place in Manchester, England, between the 18th and 19th of November. Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe and James and Oliver Phelps, who play the Weasley twins, are also set to attend.

Finally, there is no more waiting: the first copies of the book written entirely by MuggleNet staff are now being shipped by our partner Alivan’s.’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7? can be ordered for just $15.84 (shipping included). That’s all the news for this November 12th, 2006 edition of MuggleCast. Back to the show.

Andrew: All right, thanks Micah. And anyone who’s wondering about that chipmunk voice was real, that he did on the show last week? It is legit because Eric and I had him do it in New York City when they were hanging out with him…

Ben: [laughs] Did you really?

Andrew: …earlier this week. Yeah and he did it.

Ben: That’s awesome.

Andrew: I couldn’t believe him at first because I thought he might have just done a little effect, you know to accent or something, but no, it’s legit.

News Discussion: U.K. Fan Bases

Andrew: Not much news to discuss this week. There were a lot news stories but none of them are really discussion worthy. Here’s something I found interesting. J.K. Rowling ranked #5 in the Top Ten, I think it was, U.K. Fan bases. Now, what…

Ben: Oh, what a load.

Andrew: What immediately struck me about this was that wouldn’t you think that Jo probably has one of the bigger fan bases. Jamie, did you see this list? Because I wanted to ask you about it.

Jamie: No, I didn’t. No.

Ben: Who’s number one? Lord of the Rings?

Andrew: No

Jamie: No

Andrew: No, these are like people…

Ben: Star Trek? Oh, these are people’s fan bases.

Andrew: The Top U.K. Fan bases: #1 was Manchester United.

Laura: What?

Eric: What is Manchester United?

Ben: That’s a team.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: It’s a football team.

Laura: That’s stupid.

Jamie: It’s a huge, huge, huge football team.

Ben: Football? What are you talking about they’re a soccer team.

Andrew: Foosball

Jamie: Oh, I’m sorry Ben. Yes, it’s a soccer team. It is massive. It is absolutely massive.

Andrew: #2: Robbie Williams. Who’s a pop star?

Jamie: Yeah, he is. I don’t know if I’d call what he has as a massive fan base…

Ben: Isn’t that the guy who plays Hagrid?

Jamie: No…

Laura: No, [laugh]

Jamie: That’s Robbie Coltrane, Ben.

Ben: Oh, [laughs] woops.

Jamie: This guy does have a great deal of fans and all of his concerts are sold out very, very, very early on. But I don’t know. Who came third?

Andrew: How about Liverpool – Liverpool F.C.

Jamie: Soccer Club, again.

Andrew: Football club.

Eric: Where is Sir Elton John’s fan base?

Ben: The Beatles.

Jamie: Soccer Club again. There… Yeah, they all have huge – the football clubs do have huge fan bases.

Andrew: Now, what about, something called Arsenal? What’s that?

Jamie: One more football club. Sorry, soccer club.

Eric: Oh my God!

Andrew: Geez, that’s stupid.

Eric: These crazy sports fans. You can’t even compare them.

Jamie: Footballs massive. It’s massive. Absolutely massive.

Andrew: Well, soccer in the U.S. is not very big at all.

Jamie: No, I know its not.

Ben: No, we hate it here.

Andrew: We don’t hate it. Some people do.

Ben: No, I hate it. It’s too much running. I can’t do it.

[Ben and Eric laughs]

Andrew: And then there’s J.K. Rowling and #6, really disappointed me, U2.

Laura: Awww…

Andrew: Come on.

Eric: Well, No. I don’t even understand why they’re comparing that to kids and…

Andrew: To soccer clubs?

Eric: The people that actually read, you know, and don’t just drink and watch sports channel.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Well, I think it’s a bit of a stereotype to make, you know? You can’t say that all football fans drink and watch it.

Eric: Oh, yes it is and forgive me for making the stereotype…

Jamie: Never, never.

Eric…if it’s possible, but…

Jamie: Never, never.

[Eric and Ben laughs]

Eric: But I’m saying sports fans are quite a bit different from these kinds of fans and I don’t know, you know? It’s not exactly like they don’t like the same exact things. I think it’s like they should have done a list of something different. I don’t know.

Andrew: This poll was conducted by a hotel over in England.

Jamie: What’s the… Oh, well they’re experts so…

Ben: A little hotel.

Andrew: Yeah, I mean, I know.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: I know. Well, it made the BBC, so it’s somewhat newsworthy.

Order of the Phoenix Teaser Trailer

Andrew: I got another question for everyone. Who is going to see Happy Feet this Friday?

Eric: I am going to see Casino Royale.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay, but my question is who is going to see Happy Feet.

Ben: Well,

[Andrew, Jamie and Ben laughs]

Jamie: Back to the original question.

Ben: What’s that movie going to be about? It sounds dumb.

Andrew: It’s about penguins dancing on ice glaciers.

Laura: Oh, that will be…

Jamie: Classic.

Laura: …That’ll be my number one stop this weekend, I’m telling you that now.

Jamie: Absolute classic.

Andrew: No, okay. You know why I’m asking this…

Laura: Yes.

Andrew: Order of the Phoenix teaser trailer.

Laura: Yes, I know.

Eric: I’ll catch the trailer Andrew.

Andrew: Attached to the front of this. Eric, you work at Happy Feet – you work at the movie theater.

Ben: [laughing] He works at Happy Feet.

Jamie: He works on a glacier.

Andrew: Yeah, what were you going to say, Ben?

Ben: How long do you think it is until we got a version of it online? Someone sends in…

Andrew: I’m going to guess two minutes after Happy Feet is released.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Okay, I’m going to go to the movie theater. I’m going to buy a ticket to a movie I actually want to see, then I’m going to go to the previews of Happy Feet and then [laughs].

Andrew: Then switch, yeah.

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s a good idea

Eric: I could stop you. I could kick you out, Ben.

Ben: Oh, could you?

Eric: If you came to my theater.

Ben: If we go to Philadelphia’s theater.

Eric: No, if you come to Redding, Pennsylvania.

Ben: Redding.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: If you came to my theater.

Andrew: The trailer has been seen by a few people and there have been some descriptions online and from what we can gather they’re pretty accurate. Have you guys read them?

Ben: No

Laura: I’ve read one.

Andrew: Looks pretty good.

Laura: Yeah

Andrew: Starts with Sirius…

Eric: Don’t tell me. Spoiler policy – spoiler.

Jamie: Yeah, you shouldn’t say it, to be honest.

Andrew: All right, all right, I won’t, I won’t – never mind. It starts with Sirius talking and that’s all I’ll say. And, so I guess I’ll be going to… I don’t know it doesn’t seem like – it doesn’t seem worth it since it’s going to be online.

Ben: Is it worth the drive?

Jamie: But we don’t…

Andrew: Yeah, with the gas prices these days.

Jamie: …But we don’t condone seeing it online, if it’s been leaked do we Andrew?

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, I do. Because…

Jamie: Yeah, right.

Andrew: …if it’s on YouTube, it’s not a problem.

Eric: Allegedly. Allegedly

Jamie: Allegedly, it’s on YouTube.

Andrew: But yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if it shows up on Apple officially. Maybe the same day…

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because t just seems…

Jamie: It’s easier to put it out online

Andrew: …kind of hard for WB.

Jamie: Instead of like risking piracy. If they actually put it online. Then they’re beating the pirates. [laughs] Do…

Andrew: Right, right.

Jamie: Do you call people who pirate stuff pirates?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Internet Pirates.

Ben: Well, duh. Yeah.

Jamie: Well, that doesn’t sound right.

Ben: Argh….

Jamie: I can imagine…

Eric: Well neither does pirate [pronounced “pi-rate”].

Jamie: Pi-rate.

Ben: Yeah [laughs].

Jamie: Yeah, true.

Eric: What is the etymology of pirate [pronounced “pi-rate”]. I mean, it’s just…

Ben: [laughs] Pirate [pronounced “pi-rate”].

Jamie: It’s from the Latin “pir,” meaning…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …steal, and “rate,” meaning…videos?

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: Actually, I have no idea.

Eric: [still laughing] Rate.

MuggleCast T-Shirts

Andrew: Folks, we haven’t been kidding. MuggleCast t-shirts will no longer be sold after – well, beginning January 1st, 2007.

Ben: They’re going out of style.

Andrew: So – not, oh, no. They’ll always be in style, but the shirts, we’ll have to take them off the website January 1st, so if you are thinking about buying a shirt, we urge you purchase one now because they are going to be selling out fast [clears throat] and we hope to sell out our entire inventory. Of course, they help to support the show and… So thank you very much.

Eric: You know what we need? We need hoodies and then we need to say, you know, “Keep yourself warm, this will be the last winter you’ll have an opportunity to keep yourself warm,” or something.

Andrew: And, of course, you all need to buy one for National MuggleCast Day, coming this…May?

Laura: June.

Eric: You mean MuggleCast T-Shirt Day?

[Ben laughs]

Podcast Alley

Andrew: June. I always forget. [laughs] And then, also, don’t forget to vote for us on Podcast Alley. We really need everyone’s votes over there because we want to beat a little podcast called Keith and The Girl.

Ben: Oh, yeah.

Eric: Who’s the girl?

Andrew: They’re these two – these two big dorks who…

Eric: [laughs] I don’t think…

Andrew: …podcast about nothing.

Eric: …we can call anybody dorks.

Jamie: Yeah. Like us, really, isn’t it? [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, we are.

Andrew: [laughs] No, we’re not dorks.

Eric: We podcast about nothing.

Andrew: We’re cool.’s Book

Ben: Hey, also, now is the time to order’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter Seven: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Falls in Love, and How the Adventure Finally Ends, by Ben Schoen, Emerson Spartz, Jamie Lawrence, Andy Gordon…

Andrew: That’s me.

Ben: …and Gretchen Stull. So, go pick it up.

Andrew: Andy Gordon is my penname.

Ben: [laughs] Shut up.

[Laura laughs]

Ben: It is not. For the tenth time, it’s not.

Andrew: If you would like me to sign it, just please send your copies to the PO Box.

Ben: Yes, remember, this is going to be in your retail stores very soon. It’s going to be in your local Barnes and Noble and Borders. However, if you want to pre-order it online, you can visit MuggleNet, there’s a link on the right side of the page. Yeah. Go ahead and pre-order it.

Jamie: If you guys had pen names…

Andrew: Well, I would have Andy Gordon because that’s my…

Jamie: No, really, what would you have, Andrew? If you didn’t – okay, if you weren’t Andy Gordon.

Andrew: Bono! I would be Bono. [laughs]

Jamie: Hey, hasn’t someone used that before? I can’t – I can’t remember who.

[Andrew coughs]

Jamie: I’m sure I’ve heard that.

Ben: Paul?

Jamie: Ben, what would you be?

Andrew: Bono. Paul Houston.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Now, let me ask you something. If I go to my bookstore, do I have to say to these people, “I want’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter Seven: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Falls in Love and How Will the Adventure Finally End?“?

Jamie: Yes, you have to.

Ben: You have to say the full title.

Andrew: Can I just say…

Jamie: If you get one word wrong…

Andrew: Can I just say, “What Will Happen in Harry Potter Seven?”?

Ben: You can say, “What Will Happen in Harry Potter Book Seven?”.

Jamie: Andrew, if you get one word wrong, then they tell you…

Ben: They don’t have it.

Jamie: …they don’t have it.

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: You have to get it precisely right, with exactly the right pitch, intonation, and tone in your voice. If you get it wrong…

Eric: It sounds like a sell out book.

Andrew: I should hope so.

Jamie: I should hope so, too.

MuggleCast Variety Show

Ben: [in a goofy voice] The MuggleCast Variety Hour. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. And a little announcement here. The week of New Year’s, it should be like, New Year’s Eve, I think? I don’t know, I would have to consult a calendar, but that last week of the year, we will be having a special MuggleCast variety show that is going to be made up of segments and musical stuff made entirely by the audience. And everyone might remember that we had a segment contest where listeners would create their own MuggleCast segments, and we used about five of them, we ran them for five weeks, but we didn’t – we have like, 20 to 30 more that we never used, so we’re going to use a few of those. And we’ve been getting different submissions lately, like little songs, like little MuggleCast remixes of discussions we’ve had, so I’m going to save all of them for this variety show. So, what I’m asking – what we’re asking here, is for everyone to send in any remixes or segments that you’ve ever had an idea for, for MuggleCast, and we will try to include them on that variety show coming later this year, and it should be a fun show. And the reason we’re going to be doing that is because we won’t be around. Send your entries to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Maybe we’ll give away t-shirts, too, to everyone who airs – who has their segment aired, I don’t know.

Ben: Well, hopefully we won’t have any extras left.

Jamie: Because you’ve all been buying…

Andrew: Yes. Yes.

Jamie: …your MuggleCast t-shirts.

Blog Updates

Andrew: Yes. True that. Oh, and one final reminder on – the all new now…

Ben: Well, only… Okay, it’s been new for about two months, So… [laughs]

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: It’s still new to me. It’s not two months, it’s been like a month. Yeah.

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: We have weekly roundups now, to cover some of your listener rebuttals that we do not air on the show. And we’ll post them on the website, so we encourage everyone to check the website about midweekly. They’ll be released by one of the co-hosts who were on the past week’s show.

Main Discussion: The Forbidden Forest

Andrew: This week, we are going to have a discussion about the Forbidden Forest. It’s one aspect of Hogwarts that we really haven’t talked about much.

Eric: Maybe at all.

Andrew: Maybe at all. I don’t think we’ve talked about it much at all.

Eric: Wait, not too much, seriously. Maybe two or three episodes we might have mentioned it.

Andrew: No. But there are a few questions about it that we wanted to discuss today.

Eric: I have one before the first one.

Andrew: Oh, okay.

Eric: If that’s okay.

Andrew: Go for it.

Forbidden Forest vs. Dark Forest

Eric: Do you guys know that sometimes Dumbledore refers to the Forbidden Forest as the Dark Forest? Several other characters, like…

Laura: I thought that was just a movie-ism.

Eric: In addition to a movie-ism, I think it appears once or twice in the books, actually. Like, where…

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: Yeah. I’m dead serious! It’s not just, you know…

Andrew: Well, do you have evidence to back this up? Or…?

Eric: I don’t, but I’m just saying is it likely that the forest is – the actual name is Forbidden Forest or is it Dark Forest? Or… There seems to be some kind of confusion.

Andrew: I think it is the Forbidden Forest, but – because that is probably the way it was originally described in the books, right?

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Andrew: It’s like the first reference to it was Dark Forest, and then …

Laura: Yep.

Andrew: Although, well, I don’t know.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: You make a good point, because why would they call it the Forbidden Forest? Just because…

Eric: If it’s only forbidden to students…

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: …on one side of it. On one side of one of the edges of it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Because…

Andrew: That could be the name just for Hogwarts students.

Jamie: Yeah. I think so.

Why is it Forbidden?

Laura: Well, that’s not necessarily true. It’s forbidden because it’s dangerous.

Andrew: Yes.

Laura: And there are things in it that are forbidden, like illegal creatures, like Aragog and his children.

Eric: Well, centaurs wouldn’t be too appreciative to know that they are in…

Jamie: Illegal, yeah.

Eric: …in a forest that is… Well, actually, I think they would.

Laura: Well, that’s not true, though, because…

Eric: I think they would, because…

Laura: They would consider their domain forbidden to…

Eric: Yeah, that’s true.

Laura: …outside people.

Back to Forbidden Forest vs. Dark Forest

Eric: Well, in Movie One Dumbledore – Richard Harris – says, “Please note that the Dark Forest is forbidden.” You’re right, that could be a movie-ism. But I was sure then around Book Five or Book Six, maybe even Book Four when they were doing the tasks kind of near there, I was under the impression that they used Dark Forest once or twice more, so I thought I would ask.

Laura: Well, I could be wrong, but I really don’t think so.

Ben: I don’t think so either.

[Laura and Eric laugh]

Ben: I think they either refer to it as the Forest or the Forbidden Forest. The chapter in the book is called, “The Forbidden Forest.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Laura: And they use the word… And they use the word “dark” a lot in the movies, too. If you’ll notice the tower where Sirius was, was the Dark Tower in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie.

Eric: Dark Tower?

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: What are they trying to do? Just set a dark tone to it, make it sound even more eerie?

Laura: Yeah.

Adventures in the Forbidden Forest

Andrew: I mean, it seems like one of those places that is lacking a major adventure. They’ve always gone in there to, you know, in Book Five, check up on…

Eric: I disagree.

Andrew: You don’t think so?

Eric: The first year Harry goes in there with, you know, and almost gets killed by this Voldemort slither thingy, and then centaurs have to save him, but they get mad at each other. Second year, a giant spider sends all of his thousand younglings all over it – all over after Harry and Ron. And the Ford Anglia has been living there for four or five years.

Laura: Ummm, no, Eric. [laughs]

Eric: Third year at the edge of it the Whomping Willow nearly kills everybody, and everybody sub-passes it. Fourth year, there’s dragons being trained. What do you mean lacking in big adventure? The fourth year there were dragons being hidden there. The fifth year… [laughs]

Jamie: How would you hide a dragon? Just go into that quickly.

[Eric continues to laugh]

Jamie: It must be hard to hide a dragon.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: The forest must be extremely dense and sort of dark. And, you know? Well…

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. So, it’s very easy to hide a dragon.

Jamie: Yeah. Well, no, I don’t think it’s easy. I don’t think it’s ever easy to hide a dragon. But I think it’s helpful, the fact that…

Ben: Unless it’s baby dragon.

Jamie: It could be. That could be it.

Andrew: Well…

Jamie: Or it could be mute so it can’t speak or breath fire. So, it’s easy.

Andrew: Hagrid held Grawp in there pretty easily.

Ben: Well, last time I checked, Grawp wasn’t a dragon.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Well, no, I know that, but he was making a big scene in the forest and no one really ever noticed.

Eric: It was far enough off. See, that’s why I don’t want to see a big adventure in the forest. It’s always like – Jo writes in this long paragraph, long section of paragraphs, where they’re walking into the woods, and the scenery is changing. Then there’s always a clearing. So, so far in it gets silent. I’m not saying it’s boring to read about it, because it’s not, but we’ve had several adventures in the Forbidden Forest. I don’t think it needs any bit more exposure than it’s already had.

Jamie: But it needs to be explained.

Eric: It’s supposed to remain mysterious.

Jamie: Perhaps, or it needs to be explained. Because we don’t know anything actually about it. Apart from… It’s been used as a plot point, but it’s been used as a secondary plot point. There’s never been a story-line involving the Forbidden Forest.

Andrew: Right.

Dumbledore’s Relationship with the Centaurs

Jamie: Things have taken place there, and things have happened in there, and revolving around it, but they need to talk about who created it, who can go in there safely. I wonder if Dumbledore can go in there safely. Obviously, he can protect himself, but do – will the centaurs welcome him with open arms?

Andrew: Well, he’s dead now…

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: …so I don’t think it’s a good question. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, he probably couldn’t go walking in, could he?

Eric: [laughs] The centaurs attended his funeral, so I would say they respect him enough, at least as a headmaster…

Jamie: Perhaps, yeah.

Eric: … to maybe… Well, he had to go in there and rescue Umbridge from the centaurs. So, not only did he [laughs] have to be on good terms with the centaurs, maybe speaking, but he had to convince them to let Umbridge go.

Andrew: I think they were upset with him because he took Firenze from them.

Eric: Well, yeah, they could…

Laura: Well, he didn’t… No, I don’t think they were – I don’t think he took Firenze. Firenze kind of…

Eric: Yeah, I think they’re more upset with Firenze.

Andrew: Well, I mean…

Laura: Firenze.

Andrew: But Dumbledore asked him to go. So…

Eric: Yeah.

Andrew: …Dumbledore doesn’t really – I guess. Hmmm, well, I don’t know.

Eric: No, it makes sense…

Andrew: You could say that Dumbledore…

Eric: …because he did take him in.

Andrew: That shows that Dumbledore doesn’t really have any respect for the rest of the them if he’s asking Firenze to go. Unless he just didn’t know the fellow centaurs would be upset by that.

Eric: Hmmm.

Jamie: I agree. I think that’s a good point, actually.

Who Can Go Into the Forbidden Forest?

Andrew: What about Hagrid? Do you think he’s the only one who really goes in there?

Ben: Probably.

Andrew: We know Fred and George have…

Jamie: No, yeah, he did…

Andrew: …taken multiple trips in there, which we’ll talk about in a minute.

Jamie: I think he does, but it’s like he seems to be at home in that type of environment, you know? I think he can handle himself very well, even…

Ben: It seems to be a place of outcasts, too, sort of. You know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: Like Aragog, you tell him that he can’t be…

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: You can’t live… If that makes any sense.

Eric: That’s a good point. You can’t live in a cupboard, so…

Jamie: But…

Andrew: Who else might go in there to possibly use the Forbidden Forest, maybe? Hide something of their own? Could there really be anyone else who has the courage or the…

How Big is the Forbidden Forest?

Jamie: How big is it? Is it a huge forest or is it just a small one?

Laura: That’s always the impression I’ve gotten, that it was…

Jamie: What, huge?

Andrew: Huge, yeah.

Laura: It was very vast.

Jamie: Well, there must be other things in there. It’s like we kind of expect to be the only people alive in this universe.

Andrew: Speaking of that…

Jamie: We shouldn’t expect that spiders and centaurs are the only people who live in the forest. What? And unicorns.

Tangent: Andrew’s Nightmare

Andrew: I had a nightmare last night.

Jamie: Yeah?

Andrew: So, I went to Vegas to help my dad with something, and the sixth war had begun, and these people from outside of our world started bombing Vegas…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: No, that really happened.

Andrew: …with these giant laser things. I’m not – I’m really not making this up.

Jamie: That really happened. It really happened.

Eric: Somebody read this kid a book.

Andrew: It was very scary and I woke up almost crying.

Jamie: Awww.

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: And then you realized you were safe in your bed.

Andrew: But anyway, so that was my dream, so I think that does mean that there are other creatures in outside space.

Who is Using the Forbidden Forest?

Andrew: But back to the Forbidden Forest. Yes, like Jamie said, it is very vast. Can anyone else be possibly using it? [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, basically.

Ben: Of course.

Andrew: Anyone at Hogwarts?

Ben: They could, but I don’t know if we have anything in the books that would lead us to believe that.

Eric: As far as Hogwarts goes, like, certain teachers may go in there to get some materials.

Andrew: Well, what about Snape?

Eric: Oh, maybe.

Andrew: Eric, what do you think about Snape?

Eric: When he has to go refill his potion ingredients, maybe some of that would only be collectible in the Forest.

Andrew: Ah yes, yes.

Eric: And Snape’s been – Snape’s gone in there before to visit Quirrell, actually, or to scare Quirrell off or whatever. Snape seemed to know a place in the Forest where…

Jamie: But, Eric, there’s a difference between going in and going in, if that makes sense. You can go onto the outskirts and talk, but…

Eric: Yes, I understand that, but at least Snape was comfortable enough with what was inside. Or he didn’t fear what was inside the Forest enough to go on the outskirts and not fear either being overheard or…He just wanted to take Quirrell into a secluded place.

Jamie: I guess so.

Eric: And it was in the Forest. So, I could see Snape going into the Forest to get potion ingredients and things. And for that, I would imagine you would need to go in pretty far. If you needed, like, Wormwood or something.

Jamie: Unicorn stuff.

Eric: Yeah, unicorn something.

Fred and George in the Forbidden Forest

Andrew: So, what about Fred and George? Because, as I said earlier, I think…

Eric: Where don’t – honestly, I’m sorry to cut you off – where don’t Fred and George go?

Andrew: Well, that’s a good point, but why do you think they’re going in there, Eric?

Eric: Why do you think? Why do you think?

Ben: They’re just mischievous.

Eric: Didn’t you say they go in there?

Jamie: Ingredients for their Skiving Snackboxes.

Andrew: Yeah. Well, that’s the only thing I can think of. They’re going in there to collect stuff for their business.

Eric: They must know where to collect it.

Ben: Well, I doubt they’d go in there anymore.

Andrew: Well, they left the school…

Jamie: But it seems like the kind of place they’d be intrigued by. I doubt they haven’t been in there. I mean, I doubt they…

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Jamie: And didn’t Hagrid say in Book One that he spent half his life chasing the Weasley brothers out of there?

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: That’s very clever, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: That’s true, and it’s something with the name. [laughs] It’s named, “Forbidden.” [laughs]

Jamie: Which means they want to do it, yeah.

Eric: [laughs] How can they not go in it?

Is There a Horcrux in the Forbidden Forest?

Andrew: What about the possibility of there being a Horcrux in there? Do you guys… Does anyone think there’s any truth to that?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: Since Voldemort has made trips into there – in there for Unicorn’s blood?

Jamie: It’s too much of an open place. Everyone can go in there.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: I mean, even though he can protect it, there could – I mean, there could just be things walking past, whereas the Cave you aren’t going to go in there and find a queue of people waiting to get in. It’s like, it is a secluded place.

Eric: Right, you can’t even get down those rocks, according to Dumbledore, without magic…

Andrew: Well, but…

Eric: …anymore. Anymore, you can’t really get down.

Andrew: …since the Forest is such a big place, don’t you think it would be
easy to hide a Horcrux? Nobody would ever find that.

Laura: Well yeah, but it’s still open to all the elements, not to mention the
numerous creatures walking around in there.

Tangent: Could Voldemort Have Attached Himself to a Horcrux?

Eric: I wonder why Voldemort, when he was in his little spectral form, didn’t try and go attach himself to one of his Horcruxes, or the soul inside his Horcrux, or something along those lines.

Jamie: I don’t think you can, can you?

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: No, he was. That little spectral form was the Horcrux.

Eric: Was a part of his – was a Horcrux, right.

Jamie: Eric, Eric, it’s just your soul, though. Even if he got all of his Horcruxes when he was in a spectral form together and put them together with his current soul, he would still only be a soul.

Laura: Yeah, he didn’t have a body.

Jamie: He can’t store his body in a cupboard.

Eric: He would still only be a soul, but slightly more of one. He would be
slightly more powerful, he would slightly be more…

Jamie: No, that’s not true. As Dumbledore says, his magical ability and power is still intact even without a soul. I’d say that a soul has more metaphysical, moral, ethical properties. It teaches you right and wrong, stuff like that. It’s a violation of nature to get rid of it, but you can still be magically powerful without it, which is why when Harry comes to fight Voldemort, he will still need absolute mastery of magic to defeat him.

Eric: Right. Right, right, right.

Jamie: In fact, even more, really, because Voldemort is completely malicious in his goals. He doesn’t care about any type of morals at all, whereas Harry, since he has a soul, does. So, you know?

The Forbidden Forest in Book Seven

Andrew: What about come Book Seven? Who could be left in the Forest to help
Harry? Do you think the centaurs could?

Eric: I don’t think it’s likely.

Laura: Well, why not, though, Eric? Because they’ve really stressed that
magical unity is one of the only ways they’re going to be able to defeat

Eric: Yeah, but who listens to that crap?

Ben: Right, I just don’t foresee them – I don’t understand why we have to have
everything involved, like, what’s Dobby’s role going to be?

Laura: Well, not everything involved. No, not every magical creature, every
magical person is going to unite in the war against Voldemort, but I think
some will.

Eric: Right, but is it… But what it comes down to, with centaurs joining humans, is
whether or not… According to the centaurs humans are very ignorant, they
think they’re animals, the sky’s the limit with the complaints that they
have. It’s just a matter… The centaurs have read the stars, and they’re
very content. We’ve seen them. They’re very content in knowing that there’s
going to be not just another war, but that humans are going to die. I don’t
even think they concern themselves with this war unless something really big happens. Or, or you can believe that they will say, “Okay, we are the insightful people, the humans need us, let’s go help.”

Tangent: The Ford Anglia’s Appearance

Eric: But I don’t personally see that as likely, and I think that the only thing that’s going to help Harry in the Forbidden Forest is probably Mr. Weasley’s car, because JKR said it would.

Laura: Well, she didn’t say it would help.

Ben: Speaking of which…

Laura: She said it would make an appearance.

Eric: And if it’s not to help, then it’s certainly not to break down in front of their eyes. [laughs]

Laura: Well, that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be comic relief or something.

Andrew: Yeah, it probably will end up being something like that. “Harry was
walking along the Hogwarts grounds…”

Jamie: “And the Ford Anglia waved, ‘Hello,’ and then went back into the

Andrew: Yeah, it beeped, “Hello!”

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: “It disappeared and…” [laughs]

Andrew: And said, “Go buy the movie Cars out now on DVD.”

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: Oh, god. [laughs]

Will the Centaurs Help?

Laura: Well, I think with any other group of creatures or people,
you’re going to have the few that want to help, and the few that don’t. And that’s what I think it is.

Andrew: Well, what can they really provide?

Laura: Well, if they can see into the future…

Eric: Well, they can’t, though.

Ben: They don’t want to tell anybody, though.

Laura: Firenze is the only one that we’ve seen.

Ben: And look what happened to him.

Eric: Even then Firenze admits defeat. He says centaurs have read the
stars wrong before.

Laura: Well, yeah, but it doesn’t mean that they couldn’t at least be
somewhat beneficial.

Eric: That’s true.

Andrew: Maybe help a little bit. Wasn’t it them that predicted that the second war was going to begin?

Laura: It was them that predicted that Harry was supposed to die in the
Forest. [laughs]

Ben: That “Mars is bright tonight.”

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah, Harry was supposed to die that night in the Forest, and they were all like, “Hello, Harry Potter.” [laughs] “That way to Voldemort.” [laughs] “Just keep going.”

Why is the Forest Forbidden?

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah. Why do you think – now, this might just be a stupid question, but why do you think the Forest became forbidden in the first place? Do you think it was because of Aragog that it became forbidden?

Laura: No.

Eric: No, not just because – I’m sure it’s no one reason. It’s a forest and there’s all sorts of creatures. Well, most of all, I think the most reason is that kids would be unsupervised. It’s so close to the school grounds and there’s nobody really to keep watch over them there. They can’t even get a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Well, I’m not saying it’s that difficult to people to watch kids, but it’s a long, dark forest, there’s animals that clearly do not want human beings, not only in their homes, but even to exist or to interfere with things. Kids are ignorant. They’d be stomping around, shooting spells.

Laura: Why do you think they built the school so close to the forest?

Jamie: But do you think it pre-dated Hogwarts?

Laura: Oh yeah. I think the forest…

Jamie: Perhaps it didn’t pre-date it.

Laura: I think the forest must have. I mean…

Jamie: It’s a nice forest though.

Laura: …it’s a forest. I mean, it’s old.

Jamie: But, but perhaps it was a really…

Ben: No, they planted the forest.

Jamie: Yeah. Every single tree. It took them a 1,000 years.

Eric: Johnny Appleseed was a Ravenclaw with a very bright idea.

Jamie: But perhaps this is a case of…

[Ben laughs]

Eric: Or Hufflepuff.

Jamie: Do you think it’s a case of, sort of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer whereas, you know, they have the spiders there. It can’t only be Hagrid who knows that the spiders are in there, you know? They need him.

Laura: Well, the spiders are only there because of Hagrid, though. Aren’t they?

Eric: Yeah. That’s true.

Jamie: Oh, I know, but there’s other – there are werewolves in there obviously, you know?

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: Apparently.

Jamie: No, there are. Well, yeah. I mean according to Hagrid, there are. And there are unicorns and everything, thestrals as well. Hagrid also needs a place to keep all his Care of Magical Creatures Creatures.

Andrew: But Eric, do you think that this forest, there was any one point where maybe the forest was safe and then maybe Aragog started living in there and then…?

Eric: No.

Andrew: And then other creatures…

Eric: No, I think…

Andrew: …began living in there because it was forbidden. So, it was sort of like a…

Laura: Because Aragog invited them?

Andrew: No, because it was just abandoned…

Ben: Yeah. [Ben laughs]

Eric: Dangerous creatures lend me your, whatever you have.

Laura: No. I think it was always dangerous. I mean…

Eric: It’s always dangerous. Its just a – I don’t want to say occupational hazard – but if you’re a student going to Hogwarts and there’s a giant forest, there’s a risk of danger. I think it was, eventually, probably enough students died in there or enough students got injured or were coming back, you know, with scary stories that the Headmaster at that time of Hogwarts said…

Ben: With no legs.

Eric: Yeah, exactly. [laughs] You know? And eventually, at one point, the Headmaster would have to say, “Okay, we’re going to forbid this.” I hope it wasn’t Dumbledore. I hope it was Headmasters eons before Dumbledore, because Dumbledore can’t be the only one with sense.

Laura: Do you think there was any specific reason they built the school so close to a forest that’s obviously dangerous? Or…?

Ben: I don’t think it was… I don’t know. I mean maybe the forest holds some educational value for the students.

Eric: I think so.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Eric: Ben, that was very clever.

Andrew: It sort of does, but they don’t really take much advantage of it if there is educational value.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: Well, you don’t know that. Just because JK Rowling doesn’t include it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen.

Jamie: It’s pretty important.

Eric: That’s true.

Andrew: [laughs] Well.

Eric: I mean, things with Care of Magical Creatures wouldn’t really be possible if you just ship all of your creatures, you know, however far a distance just to study them. I mean, that’s one thing that it does benefit, and I guess plant life would definitely be the other one if you were to ask if Snape or if Sprout were to go into the forest to get things. It definitely does add a lot of the other things that you would need to teach a school, just not the direct things not like students going in there. That’s like saying, why is there a giant squid in the lake? You know? Why would you put it on a lake next to a giant squid?

[Andrew, Eric, and Laura laugh]

Eric: It’s there for educational value and that squid, I guess, is friendly. So…

Hagrid’s Hiding Place

Andrew: Well, yeah. We do know that. So, Hagrid has ended up hiding a lot of things in there: Aragog, Grawp, the thestrals. Well, did Hagrid hide those things?

Laura: No, the thestrals weren’t hidden.

Eric: Yeah. I think it’s because…

Jamie: They’re a natural…

Eric: Not the thestrals.

Jamie: I was going to say natural plantation.

Andrew: Okay, right.

Eric: It’s their natural habitat.

Jamie: Yes, it’s natural, it’s natural.

Eric: Hogwarts just borrows a few to pull the carriages.

Andrew: Do you think Hagrid could use the forest for anything else, like the motorcycle?

Eric: I don’t think Hagrid didn’t – Hagrid doesn’t have Sirius’ motorcycle. Sirius has Sirius’ motorcycle.

Laura: How do we know?

Eric: Because he went to return it to Sirius Black.

Ben: What did he do, did he drop it through the Veil to him?

[Andrew, Ben, and Eric laugh]

Eric: He drove through the Veil and jumped off just before going through it.

Jamie: Yeah, Evil Knievel.

[Eric laughs]

Eric: Exactly my thoughts, Jamie. Exactly my thoughts.

Laura: I don’t really think we’d have more than one motorized vehicle in the forest.

Jamie: Why, is there a rule against that?

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Ben: So, why would the motorcycle be out there? That’s what I want to know.

Laura: Well, it just… I don’t know, just because.

Jamie: But Laura, the Ford Anglia must get lonely so it needs a, sort of, motorized companion.

Andrew: …it needs a Love Bug.

Jamie: Exactly.

[Laura laughs]

Aragog’s Kids

Andrew: To wrap things up, Aragog’s kids. What do you think they’re doing these days? I mean, I guess it really doesn’t matter. They probably are just making a mess of the forest.

Jamie: Yeah, they are.

Andrew: They have no guidance, no nothing unless they’ve died.

Laura: I don’t think so.

Eric: Hagrid had to…

Ben: He had a lot of kids.

Eric: Hagrid had to put… I suppose they’re eating each other, aren’t they? Because he had to pull Aragog out so that they wouldn’t eat him.

Laura: Oh, yeah, that’s right.

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

Andrew: Why don’t they just rebel, go up to the school and cause trouble?

Ben: Knock on the doors.

Eric: [laughs] They could probably take it by storm.

Andrew: Knock on the doors, drink some soup. And…

Eric: Up until now, Dumbledore probably would’ve kept them out.

Jamie: If spiders ate soup, what soup would they eat?

Andrew: Oh, I’d say chicken.

Jamie: No way! It would be like – it would be like…

Andrew: Yeah, way.

Jamie: …Scottish vegetable and leek or something like that. It would be…

Andrew: No, no. I completely disagree.

Laura: I was going to say alphabet soup.

Andrew: Alphabet soup…

Jamie: What about legs? [laughs]

Ben: Dude, I could so go for some Spaghettios and meatballs right now. [laughs]

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Spaghettio? Spaghettios?

If anyone out there has a disagreement about the discussion we just had on the Forbidden Forest, you can always e-mail mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com or use the handy feedback form to submit a listener rebuttal that will either be posted on the site, be read on the show, or we’ll just read it and…

Ben: Or delete it. [laughs]

Last Week’s Show

Andrew: …we’ll just read it. [laughs] Yeah. Speaking of rebuttals, we got one concerning last week’s episode. Oh! You know? [laughs] Okay, that’s why I wanted to bring up “allegedly.” Did you guys realize there was not one complaint about the show last week?

Ben: Because…

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: Usually we get complaints about the show, and I think it’s because…

Ben: …of “allegedly.”

Jamie: Wait, Andrew, you weren’t on it, were you?

Andrew: …you guys said “allegedly.” Yeah.

Jamie: Andrew, you weren’t on it, I don’t think.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Okay, well… [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, me and Andrew weren’t there. [laughs]

Eric: [laughs] A lot of the problem causers.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, we need to fix all of the problems in this, then.

Andrew: I think it might [laughs] have to do with the fact that you guys said “allegedly” so much. I don’t know.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the show was just perfect last week, actually.

Ben: Well, I say the host last week was pretty darn good.

Eric: Yeah, I…

Andrew: You know?

Eric: Sorry.

Andrew: I felt so important when I was – when I heard Micah read my statement that I asked him to read.

Jamie: [laughs] Really? Yeah.

Andrew: I felt really important.

Ben: Like you’re the president or something.

Andrew: Some of that… Yeah, I’m going to have him read more statements for me when I don’t want to comment on some controversial topic.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah. Your spokesman. [laughs] Your spokesperson.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

Jamie: A spoke…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: A spokesman for Andrew Sims refused to comment.

Listener Rebuttal – Luna

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] We have a rebuttal now, concerning last week’s show, as I brought up already. This is from Britney. She writes:

“When you were talking about Luna dropping off the radar after Book Five, I immediately thought of the fact that Fleur had also dropped off the radar after Book Four, and then came back fairly strong in Book Six. I just highly doubt that JK would not tell the outcome of such a mysterious character.”

Laura: Yeah. I agree.

Eric: Well, yeah.

Ben: Well, I think -I don’t forcefully know the outcome, but I don’t know how much of a role she’ll actually play in the book. We may hear, “Luna died” or something like that, but I don’t think it will be like a… Well, I just don’t think she’ll play that much of a role. We’ll see, we’ll see.

Eric: Guys, do you remember what Viktor Krum is doing? Because I think they mention – didn’t they mention him, as well, in Book Six? Like, just Hermione said she’s…

Jamie: She’s writing him. Yeah.

Eric: …she’s writing to him or something? Yeah. So that – that’s cool. I was just wondering. But yeah, she didn’t even have to really bring Fleur back, but I guess it’s just a case of – she shelves some characters…

Ben: Offers some closure.

Eric: …and then pulls them – pulls them back out. So…

Ben: Yeah.

Andrew: What do you think – what do you think is going to happen if some aspects of the book don’t get any closure? Like, a certain character. Is it just going to be fan fiction up the wazoo about…

Eric: Easy, we’ll…

Ben: Yeah.

Jamie: But there will be fan fiction anyway.

Laura: And people are going to complain like they did after Book Six.

Jamie: But there will be fan fiction…

Ben: Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle. Ha ha ha.

Eric: [Fake-laughs] Yeah, what if he doesn’t get closure? How does that series end?

Andrew: Speaking of – speaking of news, Dan brought up a good point this week. Dan Radcliffe. He said that the only way Jo’s going to get people to stop bugging her to write an eighth book is that if she kills off Harry. [laughs] So…

Jamie: No, but…

Laura: Oh, people will be bugging her to write some sort of eighth book anyway.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: [laughs]Yeah, they’ll be writing her to write anything anyway.

Andrew: She’s not going to write it.

Laura: No, she’s not.

Ben: Like Jamie, people will stop bugging her to write an eighth book if she writes one.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs] Exactly. That’ll solve it.

Eric: I think if she doesn’t, if she doesn’t specifically add closure to something, I think it’ll be a case where the whole world is over, [laughs] so she doesn’t need to or something like that. Like where the gist of most of what we’d be concerned about would be covered and – didn’t she say she might – she’s seriously considering just writing like appendices…

Jamie: She did.

Eric: …like extra, extra stuff.

Jamie: She did.

Eric: And I would be satisfied with that.

Jamie: But the thing is, there are different types of closure. There’s closure for each character or there’s “and they lived happily ever after,” which solves everyone’s fate, really, instead of…

Eric: That’s true, too. Well, they shouldn’t end happily ever after because Disney does not own the rights to it. [laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, that’s very true. [laughs] Yeah.

Dueling Club – Snape vs. Hermione

Andrew: We are going to bring back a segment that we have not done in a long while. A long while. [starts to sing] It’s been a long time coming.

Ben: Which I invented.

Andrew: You did invent this?

Ben: Mhm.

Andrew: The dueling club.

Eric: Oh, wow.

Andrew: Ben, then I think it’s only right that you…

Jamie: Read it out then, Ben. [laughs]

Andrew: Read it out.

Ben: I’ll read it. Let me hit an F10 here. Snape versus Hermione. Ryan, 20, from Pennsylvania writes:

“I don’t know if you guys are doing this anymore but I had an interesting one. It’s not much of a duel, technically, but here you go. Snape’s intelligence versus Hermione’s intelligence. A battle of the smarts.”

Jamie: See, I think Snape is a very, very, very, very clever guy. I know, he really is, though. His magical ability, first of all, but also, he knows… Being a potions master, I don’t think it’s easy to brew potions. And also, he knows Occlumency, Legilimency, he knows all these things. If you’re talking now, then easily, Snape would win. Easily. Well, in terms of if they actually dueled…

Andrew: Intelligence.

Laura: Yeah…

Jamie: No, if they actually dueled. Snape would…

Ben: Oh, I don’t know. I think it’d be a case where Hermione would be making fun of Snape. You got outsmarted by a little girl. That type of thing.

Jamie: Ben, do you honestly think that if they had a magical duel, Hermione would win? She wouldn’t have a chance against Snape.

Ben: No, we’re talking about intellectually.

Andrew: Maybe – we’re talking about, yeah.

Jamie: Have them play chess or something.

Eric: Yeah, right, exactly. We don’t know the way it’s applied.

Jamie: How are we suppose to compare them?

Andrew: Maybe it’s a….

Jamie: Have them both take an SAT?

Andrew: Battle of wits.

Eric: Jamie…

Ben: Who gets the higher SAT scores. [laughs]

Eric: No, if it’s wits, I still think Snape would win.

Laura: Yeah, I agree.

Eric: Jamie illustrates a brilliant point. Intelligence. Hermione’s intelligence goes a lot with book smarts, reciting something. If you would ask her what Chapter 17 or what a certain author’s opinion on something was, she would tell you. But, intelligence otherwise, as in cleverness, wit, mind-reading, Occlumency, all that other stuff that actually applies – even a game of chess – is not book smarts, and therefore I think Snape would have the upper hand.

Ben: It’s just because he’s older. He’s older. That’s the only reason.

Andrew: Well, yeah, true. In Half-Blood Prince, the book – the stuff in there. I mean…

Jamie: [laughs] Look at it like that.

Andrew: No, I mean his…

Jamie: The poem.

Andrew: His book in Half-Blood Prince.

Ben: Oh okay. The Potions Book.

Andrew: Yes, the Potions Book. That was – that shows how comfortable he is with potions.

Eric: Anybody know the exact title?

Ben: Advanced Potions Making.

Eric: Oh, very good.

Laura: Yeah, I agree. It really – it showed that Snape was a lot more innovative.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Because Hermione tended to follow directions and Snape would find his own

Andrew: Right. Right. Did Hermione screw up a potion in Book Five?

Jamie: Yeah, yeah she did. No, she screwed it up…

Eric: I think everyone was screwing up potions except for Harry.

Ben: It was in Book Six.

Jamie: Yeah, it was in Book Six.

Andrew: Oh. Okay. Well, yeah. So, and in a duel too, you guys think … I guess he would.

Ben: I think just the age thing.

Laura: Yeah.

Ben: By the time Hermione is at that age, like her 30s or however old Snape is…

Eric: Guys, do you have any idea how much Snape has survived? Snape has battled Voldemort. I mean, every single time he’s been in Voldemort’s presence, that’s kind of like battling Voldemort. So…

Jamie: Yeah. It’s like, I do not think…

Laura: It’s pretty easy. If you think about it, Jo said that Harry would defeat Hermione in a duel. So, I think if Harry could defeat Hermione, Snape certainly could. .

Eric: Well, duel or in Occlumency too.

Jamie: Harry could not beat Snape in a million years, as demonstrated in the end of Half-Blood Prince, when he was blocking his spells easily.

Eric: Oh, yeah. He couldn’t even say the spells. That was awesome, though. I really, really applaud that.

Jamie: That was an awesome scene. Awesome.

Eric: It showed how Harry was.

Jamie: “You’ll fail again and again until you learn to keep your mind shut and your mouth shut.” Or something like that.

Eric: Even then, he’s teaching him.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Even then, he’s teaching him. God.

Ben: [Imitating Eric] Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god.

Andrew: Thank you for that Dueling Club.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: And if anyone else has any other Dueling Club match-ups that you would like to submit to us, just sent them to mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. It can be creative ones like this one, Snape versus Hermione in a battle of wits, or it could just be a tradition.

Eric: It was good.

Andrew: Traditional duel. Yeah. Now, before I read this, I just want to make a quick disclaimer. My fellow co-hosts are going to complain to me that I included this rebuttal just because…

Jamie: Oh, yeah.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: It involves me. I do want to say that I chose this rebuttal…

Jamie: They come from New Jersey as well.

Laura: Mhm.

Andrew: No, no, it didn’t.

Jamie: It so did.

Eric: You read them every time it includes you.

Listener Rebuttals – Elections

Andrew: I chose this rebuttal before I realized it included me. I’m sorry, okay? If it said Eric Scull, I would have included it too. Anyway. Stephanie, 19 of Washington writes:

“Hey MuggleCasters. I just voted yesterday in the midterm elections and found myself quite unsure of who to give my vote to in more than a few races. There were positions that I had absolutely no clue about. So, I did the logical thing. I filled in the ‘Write-In Candidate’ box with Harry Potter characters. Included among them were Harry, James and Lily Potter, Ron Weasley and Dumbledore. In the last box I had available a thought occurred to me: ‘Hey, Stephanie, how could you make this a situation through which your name might be read on MuggleCast?'”

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: Well, she got that part right.

“That’s right: I voted for Andrew Sims for County Treasurer. I hope you win, buddy. Those other guys don’t stand a chance.”

Ben: Hold on a second, hold on a second. Why is this a listener rebuttal?

Andrew: It’s not.

Ben: It’s not, it’s just an excuse for you to read it.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: No, it’s not a rebuttal, it’s a… Well, there weren’t many rebuttals this week. So… I just thought, there is the question, why don’t we campaign to get people to vote for…

Laura: Us?

Andrew: Us. Or Harry Potter characters.

Laura: I’d have to think about it.

Andrew’s Listener Challenge

Andrew: It would have been fun. As I promised in the beginning of the show, I have a listener challenge for everyone. I don’t know, maybe you guys have heard about this already, I don’t know if you’ve checked your calendars, or something like that. This month, November, is actually National MuggleCast at McDonald’s Month. Did you guys hear about this?

Jamie: What is it?

Laura: No.

Jamie: National…

Andrew: National MuggleCast at McDonald’s Month.

Jamie: I can’t say, I haven’t yet.

Andrew: You didn’t know? It’s been posted at McDonald’s across the world.

Laura: Okay, what happened to the fight against childhood obesity?

Andrew: Uh… I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: No, we do that too, Laura, because you listen to the show on your iPod when you’re going for a jog, so you’re getting exercise. There you go. So, you’re helping that cause too.

Laura: Yeah, now you can listen to it while you’re picking up your McDonald’s after your jog.

Jamie: What, you’re Big Mac? Yeah.

Ben: While you’re stuffing your face.

Jamie: Exactly.

Andrew: And in honor of National MuggleCast at McDonald’s Month, we have a little contest for everyone here. Don’t ask me what the prize is yet, maybe a gift certificate to McDonald’s or something.

Eric: Maybe a t-shirt.

Andrew: But, here’s what you do. There’s two ways to go about this. The first step, visit your local McDonald’s. Now, here’s where it gets tricky. You can either go in the store, and purchase a delicious McDonald’s meal, then after you purchase your meal [laughs] visit to the refreshments area and post a sign on the vending machine with a small promotional ad for MuggleCast. Take a picture of the sign on the soda fountain machine and enjoy your meal. Now for bonus points, have an McDonald’s employees standing next to the sign in the picture, and for extra bonus points – this is going to be tricky, I don’t think many people are going to be able to pull this off – have Ronald McDonald standing next to the picture – standing next to the sign.

Jamie: And for extra, extra bonus points…

[Eric laughs]

Jamie: …extra, extra bonus points, have Elvis standing next to you when you take the photo.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: And for extra, extra, extra bonus points, have Jamie standing in your picture.

Jamie: Yeah.

Eric: Yeah.

Jamie: But, I’m alive.

Eric: Or just put a MuggleCast – Elvis stand-up in front of it.

[Eric and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, that’s true. There’s a second way you can go about doing this. You can go through the McDonald’s drive-thru and order a delicious McDonald’s meal, but post a sign on the ordering kiosk – the thing that you talk into that displays your order and stuff. Post a sign on that…

Eric: [laughs] “Can I get a MuggleCast?”

Andrew: …with a small promotional ad for MuggleCast. Take a picture, and pull up to the first window to pick up your meal. Now for bonus points, you can do this one…

Eric: With Elvis.

Andrew: …but make the ad look like it’s a meal order. So for example maybe you could do, maybe, a number nine MuggleCast with extra funny, and hold the boring. Price: Free.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Something like that. Ummm, so [Laughs] we’re looking forward to seeing what you guys can do.

Jamie: Andrew, I’m getting kind of worried about your listener challenges. They’re getting more and more sort of scandalous. It’s going to be like Fight Club.

Ben: Daring.

Jamie: It’s going to be, “Right, my challenge this month is to rob a coffee shop and destroy an ornamental fountain, and rob a bank, and bring me the posters…”

[Ben laughs]

Andrew: Actually, that’s March’s challenge.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: March’s challenge.

Eric: I don’t know. I think the hardest part of that entire task is going to be acquiring a “delicious” McDonald’s meal.

Jamie: Yeah. [Laughs]

Andrew: I beg to differ. I think they are delicious.

Eric: Eh, Burger King rules.

Andrew: Yeah, you’re right, Burger King is better. So, we’re going to set a deadline on this. We’re going to make it November 30th. So, you have through the end of November to take the National MuggleCast McDonald’s Month Listener Challenge.

Ben: You get extra points if you’re wearing your MuggleCast t-shirt in the picture.

Andrew: Yes. In the picture.

Eric: Or if you put it on Ronald McDonald.

Jamie: Or Elvis.

Andrew: Don’t ask us how you’re playing for points. Or…

Eric: Or the Burger Goblin where he says, “You must be this tall to go on rides.” [laughs[Just put an extra large t-shirt on him.

British Joke of the Day

Andrew: Yeah. Jamie, can you please enlighten us with a British joke today? I like it when you come up – I like when you come up with original jokes, like the kettle one.

Jamie: I did actually come up with one, Andrew, while we were recording today, okay?

Andrew: Ohhh.

Jamie: Okay, okay, so these people, okay, are on this ship, okay? And they’re all inside the sort of main controlling bin where all the controls are, and there’s one cat sitting on the instrumentation panel, okay? Yeah?

Andrew: Mhm. Yeah.

Jamie: And he’s sitting there. He’s always sitting there. You know? Whenever they walk in, he’s always there. One day they walk in to find he isn’t sitting on the instrumentation panel, so the captain turns to the first mate and says, “Hey have you seen the cat?” and he says, “No, I haven’t. He must have fell off the radar.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Oh, gee. That was pun-believable.

Jamie: Pun-believable? Good.


Eric: I have an announcement.

Andrew: You do? What, Eric, what is your announcement?

Eric: Well. This is what? Today is the twelfth of November? Okay, this [deep, dramatic sigh] day, four years ago…

Andrew: Oh, gee.

Eric: Four years ago. Oh, gee.

Andrew: I’m going to start crying!

Eric: Oh, gee. Here it is! Here it is! Here it is!

Andrew: I’m going to cry!

Eric: I have been at MuggleNet four years today.

Laura: Awww.

Jamie: That’s very, very, very nice.

Andrew: Round of applause for Mr. Eric Scull, ladies and gentlemen.

Eric: And… And, four years ago today I took up the Caption Contest. On this four year anniversary of the Caption Contest being taken over by me, I’ve started it up again, so that’s it. Just go to mugglenet dot com slash cc, or you can look in the left margin panel under “Fun,” because it is fun, and Caption Contest. So, there you go.

Andrew: Well, cool.

Ben: Well, also, I have an announcement.

Andrew: I’m not even done yet. What?

Ben: Sometime during November, I don’t remember the exact date, is when I joined MuggleNet. So, it’s been three years for me.

Eric: I can’t believe it.

Andrew: Awww.

Laura: Awww.

Ben: I know, I can hardly believe it.

Andrew: And, like that isn’t enough, today is the three… [laughs] three-year. Today
is the one year anniversary of when we did our first live podcast in New York City for the Goblet of Fire premiere.

Laura: Oh!

Eric: That’s right! And I got Emerson to buy me a hat last year. [laughs]

Andrew: I know, because you were like…

Ben: Three-year…

Andrew: …”It’s my three-year anniversary! Buy me a hat!” [laughs]

Chicken Soup For The MuggleCast Soul

Andrew: We’re going to wrap things up this week with a Chicken Soup, the segment everyone loves to hate.

[Ben and Laura laugh]

Andrew: From Pike, twenty eight of Denver, Colorado. This is another election-themed Chicken Soup:

Yesterday I had the joy of waiting in line for three hours to cast a vote in the Colorado election. Luckily, I knew what was ahead of me and I ran home to pick up my iPod and Book Five to pass the time. Listening to old MuggleCast episodes kept me sane standing in line and kept my mind off my stomach growling for three hours. Plus, I was able to avoid talking…

Ben: Why didn’t they run home and get food?

Andrew: …to the disgruntled man in front of me the whole time.

Good point, Ben! Good point. I don’t know.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: But thanks, Pike. We’re glad MuggleCast can help you relieve those election lines.

Listener Rebuttal – Jamie’s Too American

Andrew: Jamie, before we wrap up the show. We got this e-mail this week, and I thought you might want to address it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Because, I don’t know. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s right.

Jamie: …I thought.

Andrew: Katie of Glasgow, Scotland. She writes:

I’ve tried in vain to ignore this issue, but I’m afraid that it just exasperates me so much that it has forced me into sending an irate e-mail. I’m concerned…


I’m writing concerning Jamie’s frequent use of words such as “trash can,” “kindergarten,” and, most annoyingly, “candy.” Frankly, I’m surprised he has not yet developed an American twang to his accent and does not add “like” into every available pause in his speech (sorry for the stereotype).

Girl, like, you’re so up on that.

[Eric laughs]

Andrew: Not only is this a betrayal of his own culture, he is insulting the intelligence of the American public by suggesting that they will not be able to understand phrases such as “bin” and “sweets.” Singing “Proud To Be An American” is one thing, but adopting another country’s idiom is another matter altogether.

Whoa snap, Jamie!

Jamie: Katie, I was wondering if you could act like the sky at about 6AM and lighten up, please.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Allegedly!

Jamie: I’m sorry, allegedly. I’m sorry, that was a bit mean. But no, in fact I have met – it isn’t insulting intelligence at all, but I have met some Americans who don’t know what “bin” is. It’s not because they’re stupid, it’s because they’re don’t hear that word. I didn’t know what, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: I – the only reason I knew what a “trash can” was, was because it sounds like what it is. I didn’t know what “kindergarten” was the first time I heard it. When I was in America and Micah talked about how many blocks something was away, I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about because I hadn’t heard it before. It’s just – we’re catering for a mostly American…

Ben: What do you guys say instead of blocks?

Jamie: It’s “streets.” It’s a street. You know? We’re catering for a mostly American audience. I try to Americanize it so, you know, because that’s the majority of the audience.

Eric: That makes sense.

Jamie: I’m sure. And, you know, it takes thinking about it. It’s quite hard to remember to say “kindergarten” and “candy” and stuff like that. But, it certainly isn’t insulting intelligence I just do it because, you know? I mean, we try to do it on the site as well so I thought we should bring it over to this. And I’m not – I’m not betraying my own culture.

Andrew: Traitor. [laughs]

[Laura laughs]

Eric: So, yeah.

Jamie: No. Katie, I wasn’t trying to be mean at all. I was just saying that it really isn’t the case at all. I’m just trying to cater to the biggest audience around. So, yeah. Thank you for writing.

Show Close

Andrew: On that happy, British note, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: No, you’re not. [music begins in background] Contact us, email us, at…

Andrew: Oh, yeah.

[Andrew and Eric laugh]

Andrew: [after brief pause] No?

Ben: Email mugglecast at staff dot mugglenet dot com. Or go to where you can see our contact information, etcetera, etcetera. There’s a feedback form. Click the link that says “Contact”. If you want to send something via mail, send it to PO Box 223 Moundridge, Kansas 67107. Maybe, I think maybe next week we’ll do a PO Box update because we haven’t for a while. Andrew, what are the phone numbers?

Andrew: The numbers; if you’re in the United States, you can dial 1-218-20-MAGIC. If you’re in the United Kingdom, you can dial 020-8144-0677. If you’re in Australia, you can dial 02-8003-5668. We will get back to voicemails next week. When you’re submitting voicemail questions, keep them general questions about the Harry Potter series. Or you know, or they can be some off-beat questions. Also, we want to encourage everyone to get involved in the MuggleCast community such as the MySpace that we have at Become our friend because we are almost at three thousand friends. Probably by later tonight we’ll be at three thousand friends. That’s a lot of people. You can also join theFacebookgroup, MuggleCast. And also be sure to vote for us at Podcast Alley. Join the YouTube group for MuggleCast, join the MuggleCast Frappr, rate and review us on Yahoo! Podcasts, it’s all there. You can also go to for all the community links. But, most importantly, become our MySpace friends.

Ben: Most importantly.

Andrew: We like MySpace friends. So, on that note, I’m Andrew Sims.

Ben: I’m Ben Schoen.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Eric: And I’m Eric Scull.

Andrew: Thank you, everyone, for listening, and we’ll see you next week for Episode 63.

Ben: No, 64. Sixty-four, right?

Andrew: Oh, and as a final note – 64, 64. Yeah, 64. And just a final note, [laughs]before I forget. The interview with the creators of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix video game will be on our show the week of the 26th, which should be Episode 65.

Ben:: Turkey. Turkey Day.

Andrew: Yeah. The Thanksgiving show.

Eric: Turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey.

Andrew: See everyone then. Or actually, next week. Buh-bye.

Eric: Buh-bye.

Ben: Bye.


Jamie: Oh, meatballs are so nice. Ben, Ben.

Ben: Yeah?

Jamie: The other night I cooked a sort of like, meatballs – beef meatballs in, sort of, curry powder and some garlic and lemon juice and it was so good. And then I made a stir-fry out of it. Oh my God, it was good. It was so good.

Eric: You’re a cook, Jamie.

Andrew: The recipe will be available at

Jamie: Well, yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: And the Show Notes. [laughs]

Jamie: Do you know what gets me on these cooking programs? It’s so annoying; when instead of saying “pour it in,” they sort of “drizzle it in.” Or instead of, instead of, you know, “sprinkle it in,” it’s “take a pinch and slap it in.” They use…

Ben: Bam.

Eric: Bam.

Jamie: They just use stupid words.

Ben: Bam.

Jamie: It’s so annoying.

Eric: Dash. Just a dash. Just…

Jamie: Yeah. A dash.

Eric: Well, no, it’s just to make it seem so much more exciting and elegant that it actually…

Jamie: Yeah, it would be pretty boring if they put “put it in the bowl and put in it the oven.”

Eric: Not that it is, but if they said, “Okay, put it in the bowl, put it in the oven.”

Jamie: Actually.

Ben: Slam it in the oven.

Eric: You know, it’s just – it’s theatrics.

Laura: That’s nice.

[Andrew, Ben, and Eric laugh]

Laura: But anyway…

Jamie: Do it at 360 degrees and slam it in the oven.

Eric: Jamie, have you finished – have you finished. your Lucky Charms yet?

Jamie: No, I haven’t. I’ve still got like, a box left or something. I have been eating them for breakfast, though.


Written by: Micah, Adrienne, Allison, Amanda, Briana, Jessica, Judy, Mandie, Margaret, Martina, Matt, Megan, Roni, Samantha, Sarah, Shannon and Shelly