Transcript #111

MuggleCast 111 Transcript

Listener Challenge: Different Ways of Saying “Mikey B!”

[“Rock the Casbah” by The Clash plays]

Andrew: Welcome back to the show, everybody! Rock the cash bar, whatever it’s called.

Laura: Casbah.

Andrew: Casbah.

[Eric and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Rock the cash bar?

Andrew: See, because here’s the thing. Let’s turn it up for a second.

[Andrew turns up the music]

Andrew: Okay, I was going to say it sounds like he’s saying, “Rock the cash bar,” but I guess not. Anyway, welcome back to MuggleCast! It’s 6:14 here on the East Coast. We’re six hours into this live show, entering our seventh hour.

Jamie: Oh my God! Oh my God!

Andrew: I’m Andrew Sims.

Jamie: I’m Jamie Lawrence.

Eric: I’m Eric Scull.

Laura: I’m Laura Thompson.

Mikey: And I’m Mikey B!

[Everyone laughs]

Jamie: Mikey, I was going to be very unhappy if you said “Mikey Bouchereau.”

Andrew: There are…

Mikey: I’m Mikey B! Mikey B!

Jamie: [imitating Mikey] Mikey B!

Mikey: Yeah, I know. It’s the Mikey B thing, what can I say?

Jamie: Oh, Mikey, if anyone – we forgot to say if anyone had any very traditional authentic new original way to say “Mikey B”…

Mikey: I don’t even – did we even release that episode?

Jamie: I don’t think we did, no.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: What’s that? Oh no, we’ll do that for Pickle Packers or something.

Mikey: Well, can we explain what it was, at least? No?

Andrew: Yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, so we recorded – who was it? It was just me…

Andrew: Kevin, Jamie, and me.

Mikey: Yeah, it was me, Kevin, Jamie, and Andrew, and we recorded a little half-an-hour show. And we never released it because we were talking about this thing being twenty-four hours instead of twelve, and it was the whole thing. And we had a listener challenge but it never got released.

Andrew: What was it?

Mikey: And the listener challenge was to e-mail me, mikey at staff dot mugglenet dot com, a recording of yourself saying “Mikey B” in any different way. Whether it be like… [says different variations of “Mikey B”]

Jamie: [imitating Mikey] Mikey B!

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: There are so many.

Mikey: And I said the top five, but I think if it does happen, if people e-mail me, I’ll do like the top ten versions of “Mikey B!”

Jamie: We’re looking for originality, aren’t we, Mikey?

Mikey: Yes, we’re looking for originality so if it’s just “Mikey B” you’re probably not going to get picked. It doesn’t mean it’s…

Jamie: You don’t have a chance!

Mikey: Yeah, you really don’t have a chance, especially when you have Jamie here going, “Mikey B!” and you’ve got me going, “I’m Mikey B!” and you’ve got Brandon and you’ve got – all of us, we all do the “Mikey B!”

Jamie: Yeah. Because you’ve got to understand…

Mikey: Yeah.

Jamie: …quite a bit of the tour when we got bored was just coming out with new ways of saying “Mikey B.”

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah.

Jamie: So we’ve done them all, we think we’ve heard them all. If you can prove us wrong, then mikey at staff.

Mikey: Yeah, mikey at staff and I will go ahead and if you guys could – oh, someone in the chat says they’re going to do a beatbox of “Mikey B.”

Andrew: Oh, I like that.

Jamie: [laughs] Ooh.

Mikey: So honestly, be creative. Someone’s like, a Jamaican accent.

Eric: [in a Jamaican accent] Aye! Mikey B!

Mikey: [in a Jamaican accent] It’s a Mikey B, man. Right down by the beach girl!

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: [in a Jamaican accent] We down by the beach! Mikey B! Yeah!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Mikey, you’re really good at that.

Mikey: I have dreads now! I haven’t posted a picture, I think.

Andrew: Dreads?

Mikey: Yeah, I dreaded my hair, so I do have dreads right now because my hair was really, really long. But yeah, so if you guys can come up with something creative, record it and e-mail it to me. And if it’s a really big file, upload it somewhere, and then send me a link.

Eric: It just occurred to me. I just occurred to me that it would be awesome if Frank Oz listened to our podcast…

Mikey: Oh wow.

Eric: …because then he could do an accurate Yoda impression of him saying “Mikey B.”

Mikey: He’d be like, [imitating Yoda] “Urrr.”

Eric: [imitating Yoda] Ooh! Mikey B!

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: You don’t understand, that would be my ringtone, my everything, if Frank Oz did it, because you realize I have Yoda tattooed on my leg also.

Andrew: Yeah, you’re…

Eric: Oh, that’s pretty sweet.

Mikey: So be creative and e-mail us – or e-mail me, I guess – and the top ten that I receive, I will edit together all ten of them with a “one” to “ten” and I will send them all to Andrew.

Jamie: Yeah!

Mikey: And he can broadcast it for us, I think. Maybe by the end of the show or maybe another day, we’ll figure it out.

Andrew: Yeah. Hey, I just posted the links to the fantastic…

[Mikey’s audio lags]

Andrew: Whoa, Mikey. Is it just me or is Mikey laggy? Just me or is Mikey laggy?

[Everyone’s audio lags]

Andrew: We’re stalling. We’re crashing here really quick. Everyone here now?

[Mikey’s audio lags]

Jamie: Andrew?

Andrew: What, Jamie?

Jamie: Can I do my laggy impressions?

Andrew: Yeah, hold on, let’s – oh, and we’re losing everyone right now. Mikey? Laura? Laura? Mikey?

Mikey: I’m here, I’m here!

Laura: I’m here.

Andrew: Okay. Something happened.

Laura: Hello?

Andrew: Yeah, we’re good, I think.

[Mikey’s audio lags]

Andrew: We’re losing everyone! My internet is crashing. Hold on.

Laura: I’m here.

Andrew: Okay. We’re at six and a half hours – I know that but you guys are lagging.

Mikey: I can’t hear you either, I don’t hear your mic at all.

Andrew: I hear you, Mikey. Laura, talk.

Mikey: Call me back.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: I’m here.

Eric: Are we on?

Andrew: Yeah.

Eric: Are we on still?

Andrew: Eric, you there?

Eric: Because Cyberdime is very upsetting.

Jamie: Hey.

Eric: Yeah, it’s Skynet. Skynet taking over the world.

Andrew: Laura?

Laura: Yeah?

Andrew: Okay. Mikey?

Mikey: Yeah? No?

Andrew: Okay. No, we’re good now. Something happened there. We’ve been rocking this Skype chat for six and a half hours now. [laughs] I’m very impressed by Skype. I’ve never seen…

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Andrew: Even when we record for an hour and a half, it can’t hold up as well.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: So it’s a shame. Well, actually no, it’s not a shame. We’ve been doing great. I was – I can’t AIM and talk at the same time. But anyway, like I was saying, I posted the listener challenge winners and the great drawings that Andrea made, over on The links are right there, very top of the top post. Okay? So let’s see, we are going to get Alex on now, and I believe have to call Matt’s screen-name, Mikey?

Mikey: Yeah, Matt’s screen-name.

Jamie: I’m just going to mix things up a bit…

Andrew: Go ahead.

Jamie: …because I’m going to announce the vegetable now instead of later. The vegetable for this hour is broccoli.

Mikey: Ewww.

Andrew: Broccoli.

Eric: Oh, that’s foreshadowing. This is going to be a bad, sour hour.

Mikey: Awww.

Jamie: Say “sour hour.”

Eric: Sour hour.

Jamie: Sour hour.

[Andrew laughs]

Eric: Not that broccoli is sour.

Interview: Alex Carpenter

Andrew: Alex, are you there or is this Matt?

Matt: What? Hello?

Andrew: Yeah, Matt, I called you for Alex.

Matt: Yeah, I know. Alex is coming right now.

Andrew: Okay. Well, why – your time’s over, buddy.

Eric: Hi, Matt!

Matt: It’s my computer!

Laura: Hi, Matt!

Mikey: Happy Birthday, Matt! You should come down and hang out with me today sometime. You and Tasha.

Matt: You were just here last night.

Mikey: I know, but…

Eric: [laughs] We’ve had enough of you, Mikey B!

[Audio lags]

Eric: That’s what it sounded like. I actually mean that, nobody can ever have enough of you.

Andrew: Okay. Alex, you here?

Alex Carpenter: Yeah, hey.

Andrew: All right. Sweet.

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: Alex Carpenter is back, ringmaster of The Remus Lupins.

Alex: [laughs] I’m so much more awake now.

Andrew: [laughs] Good.

Alex: Than I was earlier.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Does Red Bull help?

Alex: We just got back from Denny’s and let me tell you something about Denny’s: it is never a good idea.

Mikey: [laughs] Awww.

Eric: What, going to Denny’s? [laughs]

Alex: Yeah.

Andrew: Except for when it’s like 3:00 AM and you really want some good food fast.

Jamie: And you’re starving, yeah.

Alex: Daytime Denny’s is…

Mikey: Hey, Alex?

Alex: Yeah?

Mikey: Remember how I left last night at like 5:00 in the morning?

Alex: You didn’t go to Denny’s, did you?

Mikey: [laughs] I thought about it. I passed a Denny’s and I was like, “Oh, I should get Denny’s.” And then I ended up saying no. I just went home and watched TV and went to bed. I watched Food Network, though.

[Eric laughs]

Mikey: An episode of Iron Chef was on and I was pretty entertained with that.

Andrew: So…

Mikey: The special ingredient was…

Andrew: We’re having internet problems here. We’re going to have to restart this conversation.

Laura: Yeah.

Mikey: I think you are.

Andrew: Okay, you know what? Let me stop for a second and everyone will still hear me, so – actually, nobody is going to hear me. Okay, everyone bear with us for one second. Let’s restart the convo.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: It was Alex’s…

Mikey: Oh right.

Andrew: It was Jamie’s bad joke.

Jamie: It wasn’t bad, it was terrible.

Andrew: Okay, so now that I think we’re all here and ready to go, we want to talk about wizard rock for a little bit because wizard rock is really a large part of the fandom, if I may say so myself. And Alex…

Alex: It’s mostly thanks to you and your rapping skills, Andrew, I have to say.

Andrew: Well, thank you.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: That’s very flattering. I’m sure you feel that way. So, Alex, tell me, when did The Remus Lupins start up? When did you start up, basically? [laughs]

Alex: Wow. [laughs] I started when I was born. I don’t know. The Remus Lupins started, I guess, two Thanksgivings ago, so…

Andrew: Oh wow.

Alex: Whenever the summer was before Goblet of Fire came out was when that band started.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Eric: ’99? Oh, you mean the movie?

Alex: [laughs] ’99?

Eric: Oh. [laughs] I was like, “The book or the movie?”

Alex: Like two years ago.

Eric: Yeah, you guys were…

Andrew: And when was it that you decided you needed a full band?

Alex: I don’t know. I think that The Remus Lupins [laughs] have always wanted to be like a rock band. The music always kind of pushed for that.

Andrew: Oh.

Alex: It didn’t really feel acoustic. So it was just a matter of waiting to have the right people around.

Jamie: Alex, I’m sure you get asked this question all the time – and you’ve told me, I know – but why did you pick “The Remus Lupins” as your name?

Alex: [laughs] I’m sorry that I’m laughing so much. I’ll answer in a second, Jamie, because everybody here is like – so many obscenities are being said.

Jamie: [laughs] Oh really?

Alex: Yeah. I’m trying to shield you from them.

Andrew: Tell them this is a serious program.

Jamie: Yeah, Alex, tell them this is a serious program.

Mikey: Wait, wait. Question: Who is still with you right now?

Alex: Okay, I’ve got to tell them. Hold on. You guys, this is a serious program! [laughs] Matt says, “I thought you were on MuggleCast.”

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Wow.

Alex: We’re just hanging out with the kids we – get out of here! With the kids we call “The SoCal Order,” who are pretty rad kids.

Andrew: The SoCal Order?

Alex: Yeah.

Andrew: You’re dorks for calling yourselves “The SoCal Order.”

Eric: The kids.

[Alex laughs]

Mikey: Hey, hey.

Alex: [laughs] Mikey came up with it, so…

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: I did not come up with that! It’s because I like the song “The Order” from you, that was like a demo that almost died, if I didn’t keep…

Alex: It almost died. Mikey saved that song.

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: Anyway, so Tasha is here, Matt is here, Molly from is here, Chris, Quinn, just a bunch of people who are just hanging out.

Andrew: Cool. So – more like “The Dork Order.” Oh!

Alex: The reason that – “The Dork Order”?

Jamie: Ooh!

Andrew: Yeah, I went there.

Alex: Mikey B, you want to handle that?

Andrew: [laughs] Mikey B is not here.

[Alex and Mikey’s audio lags]

Andrew: Okay, we need to drop somebody from the conversation, I’m afraid, because this is not working out right now. Who wants to drop out for fifteen minutes?

Eric: I got to go, guys. I got to go to work.

Andrew: Oh, you do?

Eric: You can drop me. I got to go to work.

Andrew: Okay. See you, Eric!

Alex: Bye, Eric!

Andrew: Okay, that was easy.

Laura: Bye, Eric!

Andrew: Hopefully that helps.

Jamie: Press the button! Press the button! Press the button!

Andrew: I did! Oh.

[Andrew presses the Easy Button]

Jamie: Yeah!

Andrew: Okay, so go ahead, Alex.

Alex: Okay, the reason I chose Remus is because he was one of my favorite characters – and I didn’t think the band was going to go anywhere, so I just chose a random character and made it plural, because that’s what band names are supposed to be.

Jamie: And Alex…

Alex: Yeah?

Jamie: Going on from that, how annoyed do you really get when people are like, “Alex, I just love your band Remus and the Lupins. It’s just so good”?

Alex: Well, it’s funny because there is another band, actually, now, called Remus and the Lupins, and they are awesome.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Why would you ever admit to that?

Alex: I’m sorry?

Andrew: [laughs] I said, “Why would you ever admit to that?”

Alex: [laughs] Because if you’ve heard Remus and the Lupins, you’d know.

Andrew: Really?

Alex: They have a song called “Think of Something Happy” [laughs] and it’s absurd.

Andrew: Because…

Alex: You’ll hear more about them.

Andrew: If there was another podcast called MuggleCast, and they were better than us, I would never say they were good. [laughs]

Alex: I didn’t say that Remus and the Lupins was better than The Remus Lupins.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Alex: See, that’s the difference with you guys. Wizard rock is all about love. You podcasters, you’re all about…

Andrew: It’s all about competition, my friend.

Alex: …fear and competition.

Andrew: It’s just one podcast…

Mikey: Guys..

Andrew: …after another we have to beat.

[Alex laughs]

Andrew: We always do it, but I mean…

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: So anyway…

Jamie: Alex, going from there, if you could describe wizard rock in one sentence, how would you describe it? Is it about love? Because it is a very special meeting.

Alex: I would describe it as the most awesome thing ever.

[Alex and Andrew laugh]

Alex: It’s a scene where you’ll go to a show, and everyone will be psyched to be there.

Andrew: Yeah.

Alex: I’ve been to a lot of concerts. I grew up in LA, so I’ve definitely spent a lot of time…

Jamie: Yeah.

Alex: …going to shows and…

Mikey: Yeah!

Alex:[laughs] the wizard rock show at Prophecy was one of the best show I’ve ever been to.

Jamie: Yeah.

Alex: Because everyone really genuinely wanted to be there more than anywhere else in the world, and that’s what a lot of wizard rock shows – you guys know, when you’re out on tour. It’s just like such a happy atmosphere there.

Andrew: Yeah.

Alex: It’s an exciting atmosphere.

Andrew: And I have to say, the podcast/wizard rock combination – having both those there to do this combined show really worked out very well.

Alex: Yeah.

Andrew: Because the podcast listeners and the wizard rock listeners are the same kind of Harry Potter fans, I guess you could say.

Jamie: They are, yeah.

Alex: Awesome, you mean?

Andrew: Well, awesome, yeah. [laughs] And – you love that word, don’t you? [laughs]

Alex: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: And they’re – yeah, it’s just a great group of people who are dedicated to what they love.

Jamie: Alex, how much do you enjoy live shows? Because I’ve always thought wizard rock is best live.

Mikey: Oh yeah.

Alex: Absolutely.

Mikey: It is.

Alex: And I think that’s because we don’t know how to record stuff properly.

[Alex and Andrew laugh]

Alex: It’s just funny because all of the – I mean, the wizard rock records are all pretty good, and that’s – they’re fun to listen to in that way, but there’s just something that can’t be captured…

Andrew: See…

Alex: …about the live experience at a wizard rock show. And I think it has a lot to do with the people at the show, that there is an energy that the crowd is putting out unlike anything else.

Andrew: Yeah, this is actually a perfect conversation because we’re bad at live shows, you’re great at live shows. We’re great at recorded shows, you’re bad at recorded songs.

[Alex laughs]

Andrew: So I mean, we could team up and maybe do something here.

[Laura laughs]

Alex: Yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Those are quite big generalizations, although pretty accurate, yeah.

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: Wow.

Andrew: I’m just going off of what Alex just said!

Alex: If you guys do a podcast or something, maybe I could come on it and…

Jamie: I don’t know about you – Alex, I like your recorded stuff and…

Andrew: No, no, [laughs] what I’m saying is we’re better recorded, they’re better live.

[Alex laughs]

Andrew: They admit to being better live, we admit to being better recorded! [laughs]

Alex: No, I see what you’re saying. I see what you’re saying.

Andrew: So it works out.

Alex: Yeah, definitely. I think it’s just there’s this energy there.

Jamie: There is a lot of energy. You can tell, yeah. And you can tell that you get really into it as well, which is…

Alex: I get really into it, actually.

Jamie: No, no, it’s good. It’s good. That’s how it should be, passion.

Mikey: Yeah. Well, my thing is you can tell how much Alex actually gets into it. Has anyone ever tried to give him a hug after the show?

Jamie: Oh!

Mikey: He’s all sweaty.

Alex: Mikey, I hate you.

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: I don’t try, he comes after me! [laughs]

Mikey: I’m just saying, Alex! I love you, man, but those shows…

Andrew: He’s working hard. He’s working hard.

Mikey: I love you, buddy.

Alex: The best is – so after a show, people come up to me – we’ll be talking to people, and I’m like – I guess I have a reputation now for being a good hugger, so people are like, [in a high-pitched voice] “Can I have a hug?”

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: And I’m like, obviously – I’ve been playing for an hour and a half.

Andrew: Yeah.

Alex: I’ve been sweating profusely.

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: I’m obviously drenched, and then they give me a hug and they’re like, [in a high-pitched voice] “You’re all wet!”

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: Really?

Jamie: What you need to do is…

Mikey: In that – wait. Guys, you’ve got to remember, it’s in that voice that they say that.

Alex: Yeah.

Mikey: [in a high-pitched voice] “You’re all wet!”

Andrew: Yeah.

Alex: [in a high-pitched voice] “You’re all wet!” It’s Mickey Mouse every time, actually.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: [imitates Mickey Mouse] “Oh boy! Haha!”

[Alex laughs]

Jamie: Even the boys?

Alex: [laughs] Especially the boys.

Mikey: Yeah, even the boys.

Jamie: [laughs] It’s actually the boys, Mikey.

Mikey: [laughs] I know, come on! I’m always there going, “Give me a hug, Alex.”

Jamie: Alex, Alex, what you need is like a manager of Axe who just brings a load of them along, and you just spray down right after the show.

Alex: We were considering getting sponsored by apple juice, but if…

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Apple juice?

Mikey: [laughs] Not a brand in general, just apple juice itself.

Alex: [laughs] The contest of apple juice, actually.

Andrew: You guys love apple juice, don’t you, on tour?

Alex: I don’t know, we used to. We thought it was going to be a bigger deal on this tour. We had apple juice like twice.

Andrew: Really? I remember Brandon or somebody buying apple juice. I was like, “Dude, do you like apple juice?” He’s like, “Yeah.” I’m like, “I do, too!”

Alex: People brought it to us, it was pretty cool.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs] People bring us pickles and boxes of Lucky Charms.

Mikey: Remember the pickles that broke in the bag?

Laura: Yeah, I think that we should teach that.

Andrew: Huh?

Mikey: Remember the pickles that broke in the bag and it smelt up the car?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh. Shall we tell that story, real quick?

Mikey: You can tell that story real quick.

Andrew: So we were at Dave & Buster’s, everyone’s having a good time. Ben goes out to the car…

[Alex laughs]

Andrew: …takes out this mini suitcase I’ve had this whole entire tour. And it holds all the Pickle Pack wrist bands, a jar of pickles that a fan gave us, and T-shirts and some other gifts we’ve received. Ben somehow takes it out and throws it on the ground on the street in the parking lot at Dave & Buster’s. So we come out like an hour or two later, and I see it there and there’s like stuff coming out of it. It looks like water laying around it.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: And as I get closer to it, I can smell pickles. I’m like, “What is this doing just laying here?” I open it up, the pickle jar is smashed open, pickle juice is all over these Pickle Pack wrist bands, the case smells. [laughs] So I like yelled at Ben and then we just left the case there with all the Pickle Pack wrist bands.

Jamie: We should offer them for a higher price, Andrew.

Andrew: I don’t have them, they’re still laying in the parking lot at Dave & Buster’s in Pittsburgh.

Mikey: Did you really leave them there?

Andrew: I left most of them there.

Mikey: Oh yeah, and then the pillow I was using to sleep in the back seat…

Jamie: Oh yeah.

Mikey: …had pickle juice on it. I was like, “Guys, this stinks really bad. Can we get to where we’re going right away?” [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. Thank God that was after the last live show but…

Mikey: Yeah. After Ben had just driven into a big old thing and broke the light on the car.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. The car was in great condition then.

Jamie: Alex, give us a few details of your tour, because I thought we’d been touring quite a while but you had been touring all summer, haven’t you? How have you found it?

Alex: Yeah, it was pretty crazy. I mean, we’re home now and we’re sort of adjusting to life in the real world again.

[Alex and Andrew laugh]

Alex: Which is really weird.

Jamie: It’s sad, I guess.

Alex: It’s kind of sad but we made a lot of really good friends, and just like everybody we’re trying to keep in contact with…

Jamie: Yeah.

Alex: …this summer and kind of keep it alive.

Mikey: Hey…

Alex: But tour was just so crazy. [laughs] I don’t even know how to put it.

Jamie: Yeah.

Alex: [laughs] We lived in a van for two months, which is out of control.

Mikey: Hey, Alex?

Alex: Yeah?

Mikey: MuggleDog in the chat-room says:

“Alex Carpenter is so dreamy!”

Andrew: Ahhh!

Mikey: I just thought I’d let you know that.

Alex: Let me say really quickly, I appreciate that you guys are all really goofy and Jamie is like a hard-nosed journalist over here. I think it’s very funny.

Jamie: Yeah, I know! I’m trying to act the big part and everyone is like…

Alex: Jamie…

Mikey: But guys, isn’t Alex dreamy? Alex is dreamy though, right?

Alex: That’s not hard journalism.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Alex: What I wanted to say was I was hanging out…

Jamie: So, Alex, do tell me…

Alex: [laughs] About the dreaminess.

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Sorry Alex, I was picking a little.

Alex: [laughs] I was hanging out in the chat-room before I came on and let me tell you, Jamie, the people in there like you a lot, my friend.

Jamie: Awww, isn’t that nice?

Alex: They are fans of the Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: I have noticed that they’re telling me to sing, however. I think I’d rather – and then insert something very, very bad here because singing just does not happen on live shows. Singing just doesn’t happen, really.

Mikey: Except in the twelfth hour, right?

Jamie: Except in the twelfth hour when we’re delirious from tiredness.

Mikey: So everybody, keep listening and maybe you’ll hear him sing.

Alex: I’m so excited for that. I’m excited for the end of this show.

Andrew: Me too.

Alex: How you guys are just not even speaking English anymore.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’m staying away from the journalism thing.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Will you one day dedicate a version of “The Weasleys Are Such An Inspiration To Me” to me?

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: [singing] “Jamie Lawrence…”

Alex: From now on – here, I’m announcing it, okay? To however many people are listening, from now on, from hence forth, all times that The Remus Lupins play “The Weasleys” are dedicated to Jamie Lawrence.

Jamie: Oh, Alex, I love you. I love you.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: That’s my favorite Remus Lupins song. Awww, I love that song.

Andrew: 841 people just heard that, so…

Alex: You’re the witnesses.

Andrew: Yup.

Jamie: Yeah. Are the Weasleys a huge inspiration?

Alex: I changed it. Yeah, absolutely. I love the Weasleys. I think they’re an excellent sort of…

Mikey: Are they an inspiration to you?

Alex: They are an inspiration.

Mikey: Okay.

Alex: They inspire me to do better.

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: But I changed the lyrics in that song for you guys at the tour.

Andrew: You did? Really?

Alex: Yeah. The lyrics used to be “And think about Molly because she does this,” but now it’s “Give it up for Molly.”

Andrew: Oh yeah!

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah!

Mikey: I remember hearing that and I started laughing about it.

Alex: Yeah.

Mikey: I totally forgot.

Andrew: When I was at your show after the tour in New York City – where was that?

Alex: Yeah.

Andrew: That little bar place? You’re sitting there, and you looked at me when you said it. I was like, “Wait a second, did he change the lyrics just for us, or have they always been like that?” [laughs]

Alex: Yeah, I changed it.

Andrew: That’s awesome, that’s awesome. That’s very cool. Well yeah, your shows are a lot of fun to be at, and I…

Jamie: We had an awesome time during it. Absolutely the best eight days of our lives.

Andrew: Yeah. Mhm.

Jamie: I speak for myself, but I’m sure everyone agrees.

Andrew: I agree. And…

Jamie: Apart from Sonic. That is the stupidest fast food place I’ve ever been to in my life.

Andrew: Sonic is a fantastic restaurant.

Jamie: No, it’s not. It’s…

Laura: Why do you say that, Jamie? What’s wrong with Sonic?

Jamie: I’ll tell you why I say that, because [laughs] there’s a door that you can walk into where everyone’s working…

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: That’s called a kitchen.

Jamie: …and instead of walking in and being normal and ordering there, you have to speak into a wall, which is just pointless.

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah, but Jamie, Jamie, I think the only reason you were upset with them was because you had to go to the bathroom and they wouldn’t let you in the back to see if they had one.

Jamie: Well, that is annoying, yes, but the point – yeah, but apart from that, you do have to speak into something that is just – and then they walk out and give it to you. You might as well walk in. Anyway, I’m sure they make like a billion pounds per year, so I’m not one to talk.

Andrew: I don’t know about pounds…

Laura: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: …because I don’t think they’re in the UK, but… [laughs]

Jamie: But Andrew, I can convert it and make it up to pounds.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay. Oh man. You want to – I guess we’ll take a couple of callers now if anyone has any questions for Alex, or we’ll just talk about Harry Potter in general or whatever. Is that okay?

Alex: Yeah, Harry Potter.

Mikey: Are there any other…

Andrew: Yeah, we’ll talk about Harry Potter for once.

Mikey: Are there any wizard rockers on that we can give a call to?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Have any, Mikey? Or Alex?

Mikey: I’m looking to see if anyone’s on. I don’t see anyone from The Parselmouths, and I don’t see…

Alex: It’s early.

Mikey: Yeah.

Alex: It’s early for wizard rockers.

[Andrew laughs]

Alex: It’s Saturday, you guys.

Andrew: But this is wizard rock hour on MuggleCast. Oh, and you guys all sleep in until like 8:00 PM?

Alex: Yes.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: That’s what wizard rockers – oh actually, speaking of wizard rock, some of the Mikey B songs and things are coming in. I’ve gotten a couple. And one of them made me really laugh already, so…

Listener Calls: J.K. Rowling’s NYC Reading

Andrew: We have a caller now. Chloe. Hey, Chloe.

Caller: Hi!

Andrew: Chloe, are you mad at me because you didn’t win the listener challenge?

[Jamie laughs]

Caller: Not really.

Alex: You should have won that.

Caller: [laughs] I was hoping I would.

Andrew: Sorry. See, I did all the judging last week, because I thought I told everyone just a week, but…

Caller: Oh.

Andrew: Alex, did you see her video?

Alex: [laughs] No, but Facebook told me a lot was going on with it.

Andrew: Yeah, exactly. Yup.

[Alex and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: So anyway, what’s going on? Here, let me make it up to you. What can I do for you, Chloe?

Caller: Okay. Well, I have like three things that I’ve been waiting to say to all you guys.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: I’m sure I’ll stir something up.

Andrew: Okay. Ooh. Uh-oh.

Laura: Uh-oh.

Caller: [laughs] No, it’s all good. It’s all good.

Andrew: This is going to be like that video.

Caller: [laughs] Oh no, I promise. That video was all good. It was just my love for MuggleCast.

Andrew: That’s what they all say when they talk to us face-to-face.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Now, let’s hear your…

Caller: All right, so first, my boyfriend – his school got chosen for the J.K. Rowling signing.

Andrew: Oh, no way!

Laura: Oh my gosh. He’s so lucky!

Caller: I was so upset. [laughs] Yeah, he was bragging all over the place.

Andrew: I bet. Where’s this school? What school is it?

Caller: Eagle Rock High School. It’s in California.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Alex: Eagle Rock?

Caller: Yeah.

Mikey: Give it up! Eagle Rock, California. Woo woo! California! Sorry, I’m done.

Caller: Yeah, he’s going with his best friend.

Andrew: Oh, he’s actually going to it? Oh awesome.

Caller: Oh yeah, he got picked.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh wow!

Alex: Whoa.

Caller: Yeah. I was – well, apparently they did a weird picking system.

Andrew: Yeah, they’ve been doing it differently for every school, I think.

Caller: Yeah, so it was sort of like they just questioned everybody and if you got them all right you got chosen.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Mikey: You had to answer questions.

Caller: But it was really hard questions and stuff. I mean, one of the ones he told me they asked were like, “When does Ron come back in DH?” What page and stuff.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Laura: What page?

MuggleCast 111 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: Harry Potter Reading Class

Caller: It was really intense. [laughs] Then my second thing is that my – I just started high school this week and I was really lost for most of my first day. [laughs] And I accidentally walked into this reading class, and it turned out that the reading class, the entire year’s curriculum was based on Harry Potter.

Andrew: Oh wow!

Laura: Oh, that’s cool.

Caller: Yeah. So when I found out that I wasn’t in the class, I was pretty upset. [laughs]

Andrew: Awww.

Alex: Why didn’t you just crash the class?

Andrew: Yeah.

Alex: And go to that?

Caller: Oh, I did! I did! I got pulled out by the principal at the end of the day.

Alex: Yes!

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Andrew: Fight the power!

Mikey: Dumbledore’s Army forever!

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Caller: Yeah, so I got…

Mikey: Potterwatch!

Caller: [laughs] But – so it was pretty cool. They were really bad, all the kids in the class. They were like, “God, Harry Potter is so stupid!”

Andrew: Really?

Caller: Oh yeah, it was really upsetting. And I was…

Andrew: And what’s number three? Oh sorry.

Caller: Oh no, I was just sitting there with my Harry Potter T-shirt, [laughs] just hanging out.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs] And what’s number three? What’s number three? Come on, come on!

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Listener Calls: Andrew’s Listener Challenge Response

Caller: Number three was the shout-out to the Vultures. Oh God, I know you’ve gotten a lot of those. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh, you…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Go ahead, do it one more time. I don’t see why not. Everyone’s…

[Caller and Laura laugh]

Caller: Shout-out to all you guys who are in the Skype – actually, the Skype chat now, which is the “Emma Has Lost It” chat, so just have to make a shout-out. They’re saying a lot of things for me to say and I can’t keep track of everything.

Andrew: Here’s something I think you want to say:

[Chloe’s Facebook video plays]

[Audio (Chloe)]: “Hi, my name is Chloe and I’m a huge MuggleCast fan!”

[Caller and Laura laugh]

[Audio (Chloe)]: “I’ve been a MuggleCast fan girl for two years now. And if you’re expecting this video to be like the ifancythetrio’s…”

Andrew: This is her video on Facebook, ladies and gentlemen.

[Audio (Chloe)]: “‘I Eat MuggleCast Fangirls for Breakfast’ video, or another video about Jamie and Andrew, I would turn it off now.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: What are you talking about there, Chloe? What videos?

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: I’m glad we have you here, I can quiz you on all this, this whole video.

Mikey: I’m so confused, I don’t even know what video.

Andrew: This is Chloe’s video on Facebook. Basically it’s a video saying…

Mikey: I feel like I’m out of the loop.

Andrew: Well, just listen! Just listen. She was trying to win the listener – she’s basically saying, “I have to win this next listener challenge,” because she’s lost the other ones, right?

Caller: Yeah, basically. [laughs]

Andrew: Okay, let’s continue. Actually no, let’s hear about this. What Andrew/Jamie videos on Facebook are you talking about? [laughs]

Caller: [laughs] Okay, if you – I was – my friend was sleeping over and we were watching all the Harry Potter movies…

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Caller: …in a row in one night, and it got really intense, and in the middle of the second movie we were just like, “Okay, okay, that’s it!” And we looked up “MuggleCast” on YouTube, and for like four pages in a row all we could find were Jamie and Andrew shipper videos.

Andrew: Really? Okay, that’s weird.

Laura: Oh wow.

Caller: It’s a little bit disturbing to watch.

Andrew: Well, let’s…

Laura: How weird is it, Andrew? You joined that Facebook group.

Andrew: I would say – oh.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Well, I joined this group. I also joined the “I Want to Be a MuggleCast Co-host” group and – it doesn’t mean anything. But here, let’s continue…

Mikey: Hey, I joined that group and I got to be a co-host.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Not really. I don’t know, I join everything at some point and then I leave.

Andrew: Let’s continue the video.

[Audio (Chloe)]: “Are you calling me obsessive?”

Andrew: Yes.

[Caller and Laura laugh]

[Audio (Chloe)]: “Good, because that’s basically what I am.”

Andrew: Okay.

[Audio (Chloe)]: “Okay, so now that I’ve stepped outside of my usual videos and my usual video blogs, I’ll just get to the point. These Andrew’s Listener Challenges are starting to get to me.”

[Andrew laughs]

[Audio (Chloe)]: “I do every single one, and do I ever win? No. And before you go complaining about how nobody ever wins unless you’re the luckiest person on the face of the earth, stop.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I loved your face at the end of that one. It looks like you wanted to kill me.

Caller: [laughs] Oh God. Well, I just want to say one thing. I…

Andrew: Okay. I’m sure this is very embarrassing for you.

Caller: No, I’m an actress, so embarrassing is not something I’m usually scared of.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: But I was doing your last listener challenge with the sign and everything, and I live in this kind of middle-of-nowhere town, just sort of outside of New York City and it’s in Jersey, and we get a lot of traffic from people that commute.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: And so my town isn’t really busy a lot. But the one day that I was doing the listener challenge – because there’s no pickle retailers, I held the sign up on my street – was the day that the most people came. And I think somebody who hated Harry Potter passed the tree, because I almost got hit by a car.

Laura: Oh my gosh.

Caller: So yeah, when I say I do basically everything I can, I’m not exaggerating.

Andrew: Are you trying to guilt-trip me? I mean, you’re already a Pickle Pack member. What more do you want from me?

Caller: No, no, no. My mom came outside just as I almost got hit by a car. She was like, “Oh my God! What are you doing?”

[Andrew laughs]

Caller: And I was like, “Nothing,” and she was like, “I swear, if this is that Harry Potter/MuggleCast thing…”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: That’s pretty funny, actually.

Caller: Yeah. [laughs] So that was my “I do absolutely everything I can” reference.

Andrew: I’m looking at more of your videos. What’s this one?

[Andrew’s first wizard rock single plays]

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh, wasn’t there a video where you end it like, “M-U-double G-L-E-C-A-S-and a T”? It was a recent one.

Caller: Yeah, that was the “How’s This for a Listener Challenge?”

Andrew: Oh.

Caller: At the end.

Andrew: Okay, let’s get to the end of this.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Actually, I can’t hear it, can I? Because you’re just lip syncing. Oh man, Firefox just crashed on me. Wow, Firefox is not my friend today. Okay. Well, enough of that. Well, thank you, Chloe, for calling in.

Caller: Thank you guys for picking up. [laughs]

Andrew: No problem. It’s just that whenever somebody calls – let me just make a general announcement here. Whenever somebody calls – we get bombarded with like thirty calls at once, so it’s hard to get people.

Caller: Just one last thing before…

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: And I know you’ve gotten a lot of complaints about this before.

Andrew: Uh-oh.

Caller: I joined Pickle Pack – and I realize that this isn’t your fault – or apparently, that’s what I’ve been told – but when do you think I’ll be getting my Pickle Pack T-shirt?

Andrew: You still haven’t gotten your shirt?

Caller: Yeah, I signed up the night of.

Andrew: That’s very strange.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: I’m going to be setting up a forum soon for people who haven’t received their Pickle Pack shirts to give me their PayPal ID number and other information, and then we’ll mail the shirts out.

Caller: Okay.

Andrew: Sorry about that. That’s weird. I’m surprised you haven’t received it.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Because I’m pretty sure like 99% of the people who are members have by now, but…

Caller: Right.

Laura: Yeah.

Caller: Yeah.

Laura: Well, thank you for being nice about it.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Laura: Because at Prophecy at the ball, I got cornered by this girl…

Andrew: There was this girl…

Laura:[laughs] and she was very threatening, yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. We’re probably talking about the same girl here.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: She actually had me by the arm…

Caller: Oh my God.

Andrew: She was under the influence, of course.

Laura: Yeah.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: She also had me by the arm, would not let go…

[Laura laughs]

Caller: Sounds like Prophecy.

Andrew: …and I said, “Listen, if you don’t let me go, I’m just walking over to the security guard and they’re going to kick you out.” And her friends were like, “No, don’t do that! She’s just – she’s just – you know what. Just let her go.” I’m like, “Get her off of me because I’m not dealing with this. Get her off, blah blah blah.” Anyway – I’m ripped, so I had no problem taking her off me.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: But it was just annoying!

Mikey: Don’t lie, Andrew. Really? Don’t lie.

Andrew: She had a firm grip on me! [laughs]

Mikey: She totally would have taken you out, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] No, she…

Laura: She cornered me in the bathroom.

Andrew: Really?

Laura: I was standing against a wall [laughs] and she was like right there in my face.

Andrew: Wow.

Laura: And I was like, “Okay, I’m sorry! [laughs] I don’t have any control over it.”

Andrew: So yeah…

Caller: Yeah, I would never – if I – even if it – I’m telling you, if I still don’t get my shirt in like another three years, I promise I won’t like go and grab you by the arm.

Laura: You won’t kill me? Okay.

Andrew: Nah, I’m sure you’ll get it soon. I’m sure you’ll get it soon.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay. Well, thanks for calling.

Caller: Thank you.

Andrew: You’re welcome. Bye!

Caller: Bye!

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: We lost Alex, I have no idea where he went. I think they lost internet over at that house.

Laura: Oh okay.

Mikey: Yeah. No, he’s online still. Give him a call once more.

Andrew: He is?

Mikey: Yeah, Matt Britton, right?

Andrew: No, he’s not. And he also signed off of AIM, so I think they’re having problems there.

Mikey: No, Alex is there. Let me IM his computer.

Listener Calls: Wizard Rock

Andrew: Okay. In the meantime, let’s take a couple of more calls right now. What do you want, Lucas?

Caller: Oh.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Caller: All you people who like don’t really – they don’t think they like wizard rock: at first I hated wizard rock. I thought it was really, really dumb.

Andrew: Wait a second, who’s saying they don’t like wizard rock?

Caller: For anybody who just doesn’t like – hasn’t tried it yet or anything.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: At first I didn’t like it all, but then I went to the live podcast in Naperville, I think it was.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: And I saw the live show and it was actually really, really good.

Andrew: Oh good.

Caller: So yeah.

Laura: Yeah, Lucas, I agree with you because there was a time when I didn’t really pay that much attention to wizard rock and I was like, “Wizard rock? What is this? It’s stupid. Why would you write songs about Harry Potter?” And then there was Prophecy…

Mikey: Why would you talk about Harry Potter? [laughs]

Laura: Okay, but it’s – never mind. I can’t justify the way I thought about it because I was wrong. And then I went to Prophecy and we went to the wizard rock show, and it was really a lot of fun. I didn’t know any of the songs there, I still really don’t know any of them, but I really enjoyed it. It was a really good time. So I think people just need to give it a chance.

Andrew: Yeah, I agree.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay. Well, very good. Thank you, Lucas, for that.

Caller: Yeah, bye.

Andrew: You know why – there are a couple of people I keep accepting multiple times and that’s because they have good audio. When I answer, there’s no feedback, they have good clarity in their voice. They’re good calls. So just FYI for people calling in, remember that we are only taking calls – only – sorry, let me rephrase that. Only call if your Ustream is muted, because we don’t want feedback. Let’s get someone from the UK. Let’s see, it’s approaching midnight there. Hello, UK caller.

Listener Calls: New Ustream Poll

Caller: Hi, it’s Martin.

Andrew: Oh, it’s Martin again. What’s going on, Martin?

Caller: Yeah, the people in Ustream seem to want a new poll.

Andrew: Yes.

Caller: I guess you haven’t updated.

Andrew: I just updated the poll. The new poll question on Ustream right now is…

Caller: That was quick.

Andrew: …”Are you -” thank you. [laughs] It’s “Are you enjoying the show?” And amazingly, 90 votes already for “Yes” – now it just hit 100 – 75 for “I want more of these,” and 0 for “No.” If anyone votes “No,” the show is over. Oh, there’s a vote for “No.”

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Okay, it’s over. Sorry.

Mikey: Bye!

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Bye everybody!

Andrew: Goodnight everyone!

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: We didn’t make it to twelve hours because somebody said they didn’t enjoy the show.

Andrew: Yeah. I mean, I think this is going very well. I don’t even know…

Mikey: Hey, Alex is there. Alex is still there.

Andrew: Where?

Mikey: We have to call him. Matt, or on Matt’s computer – I just posted the Book 5 picture of Eric to you guys…

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: …that Andrea drew and then Matt Britton responded, “Is she drawing these as we go along?” meaning there’s a computer there.

Andrew: Oh, now I see him online.

Mikey: Yeah. You should give him a call back.

Andrew: Okay. Now I see him, he’s back online.

Listener Calls: MuggleCast Song

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: Hi caller, you’re live on MuggleCast.

Caller: Hey, how’s it going, Andrew?

Andrew: How’s it going, buddy?

Caller: Not too bad. I’m calling back, I’m Camillo again.

Andrew: Oh!

Caller: Yeah. Is Alex there?

Andrew: Alex is coming in.

Alex: Yes.

Andrew: Yeah, there he is!

Alex: I’m here.

Caller: Alex?

Andrew: You got a question for Alex?

Caller: Yes, a question.

Andrew: Good. You two talk.

Caller: Yeah. Alex?

Alex: Yeah?

Caller: First, you’re the first wizard rock band I ever heard, and you inspired me to make my own.

Alex: Awesome!

Caller: I just thought I’d say that. Yeah.

Alex: Cool. That’s really awesome to hear that.

Caller: And I did what you did, like with the plural and stuff.

Alex: Yeah?

Andrew: Do you have a MySpace or something?

Caller: Yes.

Andrew: Do you want to plug it?

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Unspeakables what?

Caller: The. It’s like “The Unspeakables” backwards.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: Yeah. But I had a question about – you know that e-mail – do you guys have an e-mail set up called mugglecastlive at gmail dot com?

Andrew: Yes.

Caller: Yeah, because I sent my song there. It’s called “MuggleCast is Awesome.”

Andrew: [laughs] Oh.

Laura: Oh cool!

Caller: So if you guys want to play that, that would be cool.

Alex: I’m going to your website.

Caller: Yeah, and Alex, you’re awesome.

Alex: Thank you.

Caller: And there’s a Facebook group called “MuggleCast Should Come to Australia.”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Mikey: I would be there in a heartbeat if we could go.

Caller: So if you aren’t doing anything this weekend…

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Caller: …I was thinking…

Andrew: I like your sense of humor.

Caller: Or even like, in October sometime, just come down. We’ll go out for some beers or something. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh sorry, what did you say?

Caller: We’ll go out for some beers or something.

Andrew: Hey, wait a second now. What’s the…

Mikey: I’m twenty-two.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Caller: The legal drinking age in Australia is eighteen.

Mikey: I’m twenty-two, I’m older.

Andrew: Oh, it’s eighteen?

Caller: The legal drinking – yeah, we’re eighteen over here. It’s awesome. We’ll just go to the pub.

Mikey: I think MuggleCast should do a show from the land down under. [singing] “I go from the land down under.”

Alex: You guys want to do…

Mikey: We can sing.

Alex: You guys want to tour down there?

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Let’s go to Australia.

Caller: Mikey?

Mikey: Yeah?

Caller: Mikey, did you get my e-mail?

Mikey: No, I’m looking for it. I don’t know – what e-mail address did you send it from?

Caller: Well, I sent two e-mails. I sent one to mikey at staff and I sent one to…

Mikey: Oh.

Caller:mugglecastlive at gmail.

Mikey: Wait, are you – what’s your name? Mike Jones? No.

Caller: Camillo.

Andrew: [laughs] Mike Jones? Where do you get Mike Jones from?

Mikey: It’s because I’m looking at all the different people that sent “Mikey B’s” in right now. Hold on.

Andrew: That’s a singer.

Caller: Yeah, mine’s a “Mikey B” song. But I didn’t send you a song, but I’m writing it.

Mikey: Okay.

Caller: And it’s got four chords, and it’s pretty awesome.

Mikey: Okay. Actually, yeah. No, I see it. Yeah, okay.

Caller: Yeah, and right now, there’s this girl – wait, Jamie’s not there, aye? Or is Jamie there?

Andrew: Jamie ran out for a second, I think.

Caller: Oh okay.

Mikey: Okay, I see your e-mail address. You’re going to include a Micah impression, right?

Caller: Yeah, the Micah one.

Mikey: Yeah, yeah, Micah. Yeah. No, he’s going to do a Micah Tannenbaum impression.

Alex: Oh.

Caller: Do you want me to do a Micah impression with “Mikey” in it?

Alex: Whoa.

Mikey: Whatever, you surprise me. It’s…

Caller: All right. Ready? All right. [poorly imitating Micah] Hello, Mikey B.

[Everyone laughs]

Caller: That was bad.

Andrew: That was all right. You get points for trying.

Caller: Oh, I’m sorry. But – yeah. So yeah, just come down to Australia when you’re not doing anything.

Andrew: Yeah, we will.

Mikey: We’re not doing…

Caller: And if you could tell Jamie when he comes back…

Andrew: He’s back. He’s back now.

Caller: Oh okay. Jamie?

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Sorry, he just IM’d me but – okay, he’s on the phone right now.

Caller: Okay. Well…

Andrew: We’ll pass it along to him.

Caller: All right, cool. Tell him that Alyssa loves him.

Andrew: Okay, Alyssa loves him.

Caller: Yeah. And if he could say something like, “I love Alyssa” or “Alyssa is awesome” or something like that, I’m pretty sure she would die, so just do it.

Andrew: Okay. I just…

Mikey: We don’t want to…

Alex: We don’t want to kill anybody.

Mikey: I know.

Caller: No, no, she’s not going to die. She’s going to be very happy.

Mikey: Me and Alex are like, “No, we don’t want to kill them at all.”

Caller: No, no. She just died on the chat but all right.

Andrew: Okay. Well, I will pass…

Mikey: Wait, I have a question real quick.

Caller: Yeah?

Mikey: Do you like Vegemite? Do you like Vegemite from Australia?

Caller: Yeah, of course I do. Vegemite is great.

Mikey: Really?

Caller: Yeah!

Mikey: Just checking! Vegemite.

Caller: All right.

Mikey: All right, bye.

Caller: Thanks a lot for taking my call.

Andrew: No problem. Thanks for calling in. I like your sense of humor.

Caller: You guys are awesome.

Andrew: And just because you have a good sense of humor and you’re funny, we’ll come to Australia.

Caller: Awesome. Oh, and I got my Pickle Pack shirt finally.

Andrew: Oh good! See, see, Chloe?

Caller: I got it like four days ago.

Andrew: Oh.

Caller: I’m freakin’ stoked. I’ve been wearing it for like four days in a row.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Awesome.

Caller: Yeah. Sorry, I’m high on V.

Andrew: No, it’s – you’re high on what? What?

Caller: On V.

Alex: Vegemite?

Mikey: Vegemite.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: We call it V. Yeah.

Andrew: I was going to say, we don’t condone that kind of behavior here on the show.

[Caller and Laura laugh]

Andrew: But hey, thanks for calling in.

Caller: All right, cool.

Andrew: You’re a cool guy.

Caller: You guys are great. I love you. See you.

Andrew: Yeah, we love you too. See you.

Laura: Bye.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Whoops, my bad. That was a good call. He had a good sense of humor.

Laura: It was a good call.

Andrew: He was from Australia. Isn’t it amazing people listen to us in Australia?

Mikey: Yeah.

Alex: Let’s rate all the calls from now on.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Mikey: You know what? He’s working on this – let me show you – I found his e-mail.

“Hey Mikey, I’m working on a ‘Mikey B’ song, in the works now. If I can record it, it’ll be at the next break and it’ll be awesome. It’ll even include a Micah impression.”

Alex: Whoa!

Mikey: So yeah…

Andrew: What’s this e-mail address? What’s his e-mail address?

Mikey: Here, I’ll post it in the chat.

Andrew: No, because I want to find the MuggleCast song he sent in.

Mikey: Well, I’ve – hold on, I think I – I didn’t find it.

Andrew: Alex, I like your…

Laura: Didn’t he say it was called “MuggleCast is Awesome”?

Andrew: No, but I’m trying to find the e-mail. Okay, never mind.

Laura: Oh wait, it was Camillo, right?

Andrew: Oh! Oh, that’s him? Okay, I got it now.

Mikey: That’s his e-mail right there.

Andrew: Okay.

MuggleCast 111 Transcript (continued)

Phone Call to Ben

Jamie: Andrew, can we phone Ben? Phone him. He wants us to phone him.

Andrew: He wants to do it over the phone?

Jamie: Yeah. Well, he’s at the football game. And I love you too, Alyssa.

Andrew: Yeah, Alyssa. That’s it. Yeah, we’ll do it in a second.

Alex: You just killed someone, Jamie. You just killed someone.

Andrew: Yeah. She said…

Mikey: You’re a murderer!

Andrew: Alex, I like your idea. We should just judge everyone who calls. I think that would be pretty…

[Alex laughs]

Mikey: Yeah. See, now guys, everyone who is going to call in, make sure that you’re prepared and you can speak clearly, and you don’t ramble on and on like me, because we’re going to be judging you.

Andrew: [laughs] Right.

Mikey: Yeah. So we’ll have a scale of one through ten, right? And – okay.

[Alex and Andrew laugh]

Andrew: That bombed.

Alex: You’re a little pitchy, dog. You’re a little pitchy.

Andrew: Yeah, that bombed really quick.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: But yeah, a road tour down in Australia I think would be pretty good.

Mikey: Dude, I’m so down for Australia!

Alex: Let’s go!

Mikey: It would be so much fun.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Let’s just road tour everywhere.

Mikey: Dude, we can see dingos. We can go hang out with Garth, guys! [laughs]

[Phone rings]

Laura: Oh my gosh, that would be amazing!

Jamie: Yes.

Laura: Awww, I miss Garth.

Andrew: Okay, hold on, we’re getting Ben in here.

Mikey: Calling Ben Schoen.

Andrew: If he doesn’t answer…

Mikey: Calling Ben Schoen.

Alex: Where is Ben Schoen? Oh, we’re calling…

Andrew: He’s at a Notre Dame football game.

Jamie: Michigan game.

Laura: How long has he been there?

Ben: Hello?

Andrew: What’s up?

Laura: Hey, Ben.

Mikey: [singing] “Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame.”

Ben/Dumbledore: Hello?

Andrew: Hi, Ben!

Ben/Dumbledore: Who am I speaking with?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Ben, how’s the football game going?

Ben/Dumbledore: Hello?

Andrew: Is this Ben? I don’t think this is Ben.

Alex: [laughs] This is so not Ben.

Ben/Dumbledore: This is Albus Dumbledore!

[Everybody laughs]

Mikey: Oh, we got Albus Dumbledore!

Andrew: Oh my gosh!

Mikey: It’s our choices, right, Albus?

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Aren’t you supposed to be dead?

Ben/Dumbledore: It is our choices, Harry…

[Everyone laughs]

Ben/Dumbledore: …far more than our abilities, that determine what we truly are.

Andrew: Oh my gosh! Albus Dumbledore. See, I called Ben’s number. I didn’t know you guys were hanging out tonight.

Ben/Dumbledore: Yeah, I’m with Ben at the Notre Dame/Michigan game.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben/Dumbledore: And I casted magic spells all over the field.

Andrew: [laughs] I see. So are they winning?

Ben/Dumbledore: [pauses] No.

[Everyone laughs]

Ben/Dumbledore: Because I died!

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: Right, I forgot.

Ben: What’s up, guys? What’s up?

Andrew: Oh man.

Ben: This is Ben.

Andrew: Dude, that’s so…

Ben: I stole the phone from Albus.

Andrew: That’s so sweet. You guys are hanging out now. I didn’t realize you guys…

Ben: Yeah, we’re having a good time. We’re having a good time.

Jamie: Ben, we’ve been doing this for seven hours.

Ben: [unintelligible] You know, you know.

Andrew: We don’t condone that kind of behavior.

Ben: I’m sorry.

Andrew: [laughs] Shoot, what was I going to say? Go ahead, Jamie.

Jamie: No, I was going to say: Ben, we’ve been doing this for seven hours. We’ve got five to go.

Ben: Yeah, that sounds pretty brutal.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s actually been going pretty well though, so…

Jamie: Thank God it’s not twenty-four, that’s all I can say.

Ben: And by the way, the reason my voice is kind of strange is because I’m at the Notre Dame/Michigan game and we lost thirty-eight to zero.

Andrew: Oh, it’s over.

Ben: And I screamed like a little retard for no reason.

Andrew: Okay.

Alex: Thirty to zero?

Ben: There was like three minutes left in the fourth quarter and I was still like, “Come on, [unintelligible]!”

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Ben: “Whoo!”

Mikey: [laughs] Thirty-eight to zero? Ben, do we need to talk about…

Ben: So how good is this show, guys?

Andrew: It’s going pretty well. Alex is here, we had…

Ben: Who’s all here right now? Who’s all talking to me right now?

Laura: Laura.

Andrew: Alex, Mikey, Laura, Jamie and me.

Ben: Who?

Andrew: Alex Carpenter, Laura Thompson…

Ben: Oh shoot!

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Alex! What’s up, dude?

Alex: Hey.

Andrew: …Mikey…

Mikey: Mikey B! Get it right!

[Laura laughs]

Alex: I heard your team got owned.

Mikey: Mikey B!

Ben: It was brutal.

Andrew: Yeah.

Ben: It was bad.

Andrew: Yeah, it sounds like it.

Ben: So what Harry Potter stuff are you talking about?

Andrew: Oh, we’ve been talking about everything.

Jamie: We’ve been doing it for seven hours, Ben. We’ve discussed every single book to death. Well, not really. But…

Laura: We actually…

Ben: Do you guys want to ever bring back Chapter-by-Chapter?

Andrew: No.

Jamie: Yeah, we are.

Laura: God, no! [laughs]

Jamie: We’ve done every single chapter from every single book.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: We’re tired of it. Twice.

Ben: I think the next segment is going to be Page-by-Page.

Jamie: Huh?

Andrew: What?

Laura: Page-by-Page.

Ben: I said the next segment is going to be Page-by-Page.

Andrew: Oh. [laughs]

Jamie: Letter-by-Letter.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Letter-by-Letter.

Jamie: That’s what Eric wants to start, Syllable-by-Syllable.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: Word-by-Word.

Ben: So what is going on, guys? Come on, talk to me here.

Andrew: Nothing, dude. We were counting on you to do the talking. We were just talking about wizard rock and…

Ben: Okay, Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls is the best wizard rock band ever to exist.

Andrew: Now, wait a second. Hold on. Alex Carpenter is here, did you forget?

Alex: Whoa, Ben Schoen.

Ben: [gasps] Whoops. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

[Andrew laughs]

Ben: Of course – second, of course, to The Remus Lupins!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Alex: Seriously though, the people who haven’t heard Oliver Boyd, they should check it out. He has a song called “End of an Era” that is so – if you like Harry Potter it will speak to you, and you probably want to…

Ben: It will make you bawl your eyes out. “Train to Nowhere” is another awesome song and so is Jamie’s favorite, “Bridge to the Other Side,” right, Jamie?

Jamie: Oh God, yes. Yes. Awww, “Bridge to the Other Side.”

Ben: Jamie and I were hanging out this summer at my house, and he walks up to me and he sits down. He’s like, “Ben, why don’t you put some ‘Bridge to the Other Side’ on?”

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Whatever, whatever. Ben was into it as I was.

[Ben laughs]

Jamie: But he tried to play the hard man and he was like, “Oh okay, dude. If you want, I guess I can do it now.”

[Andrew and Ben laugh]

Jamie: But really, he was so excited. You couldn’t believe it.

Andrew: Oh my gosh. Oh great.

Ben: I’m going to be home in like three hours from now. You guys will still be recording, right?

Andrew: Yeah, we’ll still be recording.

Ben: What?

Andrew: We’ll still be recording, yeah.

Ben: So are you going to release this as one whole episode, or what?

Andrew: No, no, no. We’re going to split it up, maybe in like six pieces or something. I don’t know.

Jamie: Yeah.

Ben: That’s awesome.

Andrew: Yeah. It’s going well, though. We have close to 900 people listening right now. That’s basically how it’s been the entire seven hours.

Ben: Oh, this is going out live right now?

Andrew: Yes!

Laura: Yes! [laughs]

Ben: Oh my gosh! E-mail me! ben at staff dot mugglenet dot com!

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay. [laughs] Thank you, Ben.

Ben: Mail-bomb andrew at staff dot mugglenet!

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: Oh my gosh.

Mikey: Oh wow, Ben.

Andrew: Oh man.

Ben: I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Andrew: That’s okay.

Ben: I’m sorry. Forgive me, please.

Andrew: No, it’s all right. That brought back bad memories.

Ben: Call 609-688…

[Andrew laughs, Ben makes beeping noises]

Andrew: Yeah, I was ready to hang up on you.

Ben: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: I had my finger on the hang-up button. [laughs] Okay. Well, yeah. So if you’re back in a few hours we’ll talk to you then.

Ben: Okay. Well, if [unintelligible] will you call me again, please?

Andrew: Yes. Sure.

Ben: Okay.

Andrew: All right, have fun.

Ben: I love you guys. I miss you lots.

Andrew: All right.

Laura: Bye, Ben.

Ben: By the way…

Andrew: What?

Ben: …don’t forget to put the toilet seat down!

Mikey: Ben?

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: Ben, Ben?

Ben: Yeah?

Mikey: Can you say “Mikey B” before you leave? Just for me, please?

Ben: [imitating Mikey] Mikey B!

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: Thanks, Ben.

Andrew: Oh, Ben.

Jamie: Tell me about some parties you’ve been to, and sub-parties, very briefly. [laughs] Personal pleasure.

Andrew: What?

Mikey: What?

Jamie: Ben, tell me about some parties you’ve been to and some sub-parties.

Mikey: [laughs] Parties and sub-parties. He’s just got so many parties…

Andrew: Ben hung up.

Mikey: …and sub-parties that he has to go to, right, Jamie?

Andrew: That was really funny. I didn’t – that’s amazing. I really did not know Dumbledore is in the US right now. For the Notre Dame/Michigan game, of all things. That’s amazing. So I think we’re going to take a break and regroup here, and we’ll be back. Alex, are you going to stick around for a little bit?

[Prolonged silence]

Mikey: Alex?

Andrew: Alex is not sticking around for a little bit.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I see Alex is still on, but Alex is not there. Alex must be busy. Andrew wonders where he is. So coming up in the next hour, we’ll be taking more of your calls and also we’re going to be having a discussion on the fandom. So we will be back in a few minutes. This is MuggleCast Live.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: And cue music.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: And bring up music.

[“Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney & Wings plays]

Discussion: Future of the Harry Potter Fandom

Andrew: We should all be getting together and enjoying this.

Jamie: You know what, Andrew? I think there’s something about Harry Potter that makes it. You don’t see it with anything else. Harry Potter is a huge phenomenon but let’s face it: there are phenomenons as big and there have been things as big. But why hasn’t this happened? Why did Harry Potter create this phenomenon where everyone is a friend, everyone goes to these events, everyone thinks – we met people at Waterstones. Andrew and I met some people at Waterstones who had been in the queue – sorry, in the line. In the line.

Andrew: In the line.

Jamie: For three days. Three days! We should have podcasted for three days and sat with them, Andrew, but I guess we just weren’t as hardcore as they were.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, I think that shows some serious dedication.

Jamie: Yeah. But why are Harry Potter fans so dedicated but other people just aren’t?

Jerry Cooke: I think the word “awesome” comes to mind again.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: It does! [laughs]

Andrew: So where do you guys see the fandom going in the next – let’s say the next – I think the next year, the fandom is going to stay the same but beyond that – say in five years from now. Laura, where do you think the fandom will be?

Laura: Oh my gosh, that’s a really difficult question to answer. Just because even recently – I mean, we’re only a couple of months down the road from – there is already less news and there won’t be speculation anymore, so I think that aspect of the fandom is changing.

Jamie: Laura, you sound like you’re talking underwater.

Laura: But it’s the closeness that we’ve all developed as friends that’s really going to hang on. Like everybody’s talking about going to New York for Jo’s reading. Really?

Andrew: Yeah, let’s try to get her in again. Live show, folks! This is what happens. Okay, Laura?

Laura: Am I better now?

Andrew: Yeah, you’re better now. I think your internet stalled for a second or something.

Laura: Yeah, it probably did.

Andrew: Anyway, you were saying about live shows?

Laura: I wasn’t saying anything about live shows. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] That’s what I thought you said.

Laura: Here, I’ll just rephrase what I said, make it a little shorter.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: Basically, I think that in terms of speculation and that type of thing, the fandom has already changed.

Andrew: Mhm.

Laura: But I think in terms of the friends that we’ve made and the relationships we’ve developed as a result, I think that those are going to be what really keep things going with the fandom. Eventually it will die off a little bit. I mean, I think it will get to the point where the Lord of the Rings fandom is.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: There are still a lot of people who are really hardcore about it and there are still tons of fan sites. And I think also Harry Potter is going to be a huge educational tool in the future.

Jamie: Absolutely, yeah.

Laura: Which is kind of what we were talking about earlier today.

Jamie: It’s going to carry on. If you look at which was a hugely popular Lord of the Rings site, they still post news. There will always be news related to Harry Potter because we can still post news about J.K. Rowling. People will still come to the main sites, post news about the actors, and very interesting stuff like that. So there will still be – podcasters, there will still be wizard rock. So [unintelligible] as long as people maintain an interest in it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: So it’s up to the fans. It’s up to us.

Andrew: And Jerry?

Jamie: So it doesn’t die away.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Jerry?

Jamie: Did it die?

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Jerry? He’s not here. But yeah, I agree with that. I think that as long as sites like MichaelNet – [laughs] like MichaelNet? Like MuggleNet are still around, as long as podcasts like MuggleCast are still around, as long as wizard rock is still around, as long as – what am I missing from the fandom? [laughs] As long as the movies are still around, there’s still going to be this huge fandom where everyone is still thriving off of it and embracing it.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: So we’ve got to restart the Skype chat. We’ll be right back, hold on.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Now we’re back. I don’t know what keeps happening, guys. Sorry about that. It is the internet, it’s not our fault. It’s not like we’re unprofessional or anything, we’re just having some weird issues right now.

Jamie: We know it’s dying.

Andrew: Yeah. As we continue to have our discussion on the fandom. Did you guys hear what I said, though?

Jamie: No.

Andrew: What I was saying was that as long as the fandom – as long as the fans are still around and embracing the wizard rock, the podcasts, the sites like MuggleNet, then we’ll still have this…

Jamie: I agree, I agree.

Andrew: …huge fanbase. Mikey, where do you think the fandom is going? Mikey’s back now.

Mikey: The fandom?

Andrew: The fandom.

Mikey: Yeah, I’m back, everybody. I don’t know. I think the fandom is going to live long, kind of like there’s a lot of other fandoms that are definitely still around, doing a lot of different things. It’s going to definitely go heavily into fan fiction, I think, kind of [unintelligible] people’s thirst for more Harry Potter stuff. Podcasts are going to be around for quite a while longer, I think. I don’t know. Fan movies?

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. Fan movies?

Mikey: Stuff like that. It’s going to be definitely fan oriented.

Andrew: Well…

Mikey: Like fan films.

Andrew: [laughs] We lost Mikey. Are you guys still here? Are we okay?

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Laura? Anyone?

Jamie: Yeah, I’m here.

Andrew: Okay. It’s weird, we’re having some weird internet problems.

Jamie: Yeah. It’s being very, very, very weird.

Andrew: We lost Laura. I think my internet has given up on me. It can’t do it any longer. Seven and a half hours.

Jamie: While we’re waiting, I have a story to tell.

Andrew: Okay. Well, tell your story.

Jamie: Okay. Well, half of this hour, we’re going to talk about the fandom. We also wanted this as humor hour, where we tell a few jokes, tell a few funny stories, have some call-ins with funny jokes, and stuff like that. So I have a story to tell where Andrew and I were in Medford, where he lives, in the car, and there was a fan who was texting him and it kept coming in. And he kept phoning and Andrew spoke to him. He said, “Please don’t contact me again.” And the guy did not contact him again. But I thought, “Well, I’m going to phone Andrew,” and what I did was I pretended this guy had called back, and I went and I was speaking to this guy for a few minutes, for like two minutes. And then I went, “Well look, Andrew has a message for you,” and then I screamed into the phone a two-word phrase, the second word of which was “off.”

Andrew: [laughs] And…

Jamie: And Andrew was like, “Oh my God! I can’t believe you just did that! Oh my God! Oh my God! What’s going to happen? Oh my God! I can’t believe you just did that!”

Andrew: I didn’t – I knew you didn’t do that.

Jamie: No, you didn’t, Andrew. That’s not true. Come on. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. You were like, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” weren’t you?

Andrew: Yeah, I was.

[Prolonged silence]

Mikey’s Birthday Party

Mikey: …my friends will be there for my birthday party.

Andrew: Wait, wait, the Scary Farm?

Mikey: Scary Farm, yeah.

Jamie: [laughs] What the hell is the Scary Farm?

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: All right, guys. Let me explain this.

Andrew: Awww, I’m so jealous now! Ugh!

Mikey: Guys, stop, stop. All right, it’s Knott’s Berry Farm but at night from 7:00 PM to 2:00 AM, it becomes Nott’s Scary Farm where there’s like haunted mazes and monsters running around.

Andrew: Yeah. They have this year, too.

Mikey: It’s every year, and it’s Knott’s Scary Farm. It’s the original one.

Jamie: [singing] “They’re coming to take me away, ha ha. They’re coming to take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha,
to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time.”

Andrew: What is Jamie doing?

Mikey: Jamie, what are you doing?

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Jamie: Sorry, it’s song. [laughs] It’s a song.

Mikey: Yeah, anyway…

Jamie: [singing] “To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they’re coming to take me away, ha ha.”

Andrew: Okay. Well, thank you, Emily, for calling.

Mikey: Everybody, we got Jamie to sing, just so you know.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, that was a song.

Mikey: That was a song, so he was singing.

Jerry: If you can call that singing.

Mikey: Yeah, but Knott’s Scary Farm is the oldest theme park that will turn into a haunted place. And I go every year for my birthday, and I’m going this year and Alex can’t come.

Andrew: Awww.

Mikey: Because he’s going to be in Jamaica.

Listener Calls: Future of the Harry Potter Fandom

Andrew: Okay, I don’t want to hear about this anymore.

Mikey: Oh, you should fly out.

Andrew: It’s just making me depressed. Fred, you’re on MuggleCast Live.

Caller: Hello!

Andrew: Hello! Sorry, I just mocked you. Hello there, caller.

Caller: Hello, I just want to go back to the fandom thing you spoke about earlier on.

Andrew: Oh okay. Please do.

Caller: Yeah, because one thing that you seem to forget which English-speaking people normally do – for example, I’m Swedish. We don’t have it yet. Okay yes, some of us have been queuing up in London or here in Stockholm to buy the English book, but we are still a few months behind you.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: It’s a fair point.

Caller: We will have to wait until I think it’s 21st of November, so we will stand out in the freezing cold and then we will discuss the book over Christmas while you already think it’s just boring by…

Jamie: Well, your English is pretty perfect.

Caller: Oh thanks.

Jamie: You can just read it in English, can’t you?

Caller: I’ve been living down in Brighton for a while, so…

Jamie: Ahhh, I see. Awesome.

Jerry: Oh wow.

Andrew: So have you read the book?

Caller: Yes. Me and my younger brother, we went over to London to buy the book. We flew to London just to buy the book, actually.

[Andrew laughs]

Jerry: Wow.

Andrew: There is this thing called the Internet where you can order it over the Internet.

[Laura laughs]

Caller: Yes. Yes, I know, but that’s – well, this is the last book so why not be there in the queue?

Andrew: I agree. I was using some cheap American sarcasm. But… [laughs]

Laura: Andrew, I thought you were going to say something else with the Internet.

Andrew: What?

Laura: You were like, “There’s this thing called the Internet,” and for two seconds I thought you were about to say, “where you can download it.”

Andrew: Oh no. [laughs]

Laura: I was like, “Oh God, don’t say that!” [laughs]

Caller: Actually, the book was – I think a few days before it was released – on the Swedish site, The Pirate Bay, and this is the only time ever I wish there were big companies group-locking, busting down file-sharing people because that book shouldn’t be released on pirate space before it was released in the bookstores. So…

Mikey: Wait, the only time you say you like big companies trying to get stuff done? I think stealing is wrong in general. Who would ever download anything illegally? I know I don’t. I work for a major company, and I purchase all my software and music and everything.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, okay. And I’m in California right now. All right. Well, thank you for calling in.

Mikey: No, you’re not. [laughs]

Andrew: No, you’re not doing what you said. Okay, thank you for calling in.

Caller: No problem.

Laura: Thanks, Fred.

Andrew: Bye. So that’s a fair point. The fandom is not over yet because there are still some countries that haven’t even had the book released in their country yet. [laughs] It’s a very fair point.

Jamie: That is very true.

Andrew: Okay, let’s take another call. I’m sorry to be sexist but I’m trying to even out the genders that we get here.

Jamie: That’s not being sexist, that’s the opposite of being sexist. [laughs] That’s helping.

Andrew: Well, I guess so.

Laura: Just consider the fact that 74% of our listeners are female.

Andrew: That’s what I’m saying. I have like eighty windows open, all from girls calling. [laughs] So I’m trying to find…

Jerry: I’m sure it’s no coincidence that 90% of the cast are male.

Laura: Yeah.

[Jerry and Laura laugh]

Andrew: What did you say?

Jerry: I said I’m sure it’s no coincidence that 90% of the hosts are male.

Andrew: Oh yeah.

Mikey: It’s because we’re just that good looking, right, Jamie?

[Jerry laughs]

Mikey: Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Jamie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Mikey: Hint hint, yeah yeah.

Andrew: Okay, I am getting way too many calls right now.

Mikey: Just answer a…

MuggleCast 111 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: The Potter-Christ Alliance

Andrew: Okay, let’s take a call from Jennay. She was going to be on. Hey Jennay, sorry about earlier. My internet was bad.

Caller: All right. Hi!

Jamie: Hey!

Laura: Hi!

Andrew: How are you?

Caller: Good. I had to miss part of the show, I had to go to a wedding.

Andrew: Oh wow.

Laura: Awww, that sucks.

Andrew: Who got married?

Caller: I’m almost late for the wedding.

Andrew: [laughs] Laura just said, “That sucks.”

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: Okay – no, no, no, here’s the thing: she sounds like she would rather listen to the show.

Caller: I was.

Andrew: There was a union between two people who truly love each other and Laura thinks that sucks. Oh whatever.

Caller: My mom gave me the option to skip, so…

Andrew: Oh cool. [laughs]

Laura: Nice.

Andrew: Oh, well that’s good. So what’s going on?

Caller: Nothing much, just sitting at home. I was about to say I was hearing earlier about comments if everyone has gotten all their T-shirts and stuff.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: I was working at my church summer camp…

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: …and so I wore my Pickle Pack shirt. And all these little kids came up to me. They’re like, “There’s a pickle on your shirt!”

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Awww. That’s so cute.

Caller: I was like, “Yeah, it’s a pickle.” And then I was really, really sick and at the hospital.

Andrew: Oh no.

Caller: And I was wearing a MuggleNet shirt and this lady comes out, and she’s staring at me and my mom, and I’m like, “Okay.” I wasn’t really paying attention. She’s like, “Have you finished Book 7?” and I’m like, “What?”

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Caller: I wasn’t paying attention.

Andrew: That’s funny.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Let me take a moment to say to the listeners now, all of you listening in who want to call Skype, see how Jennay sounds? Her voice is crisp, there is no feedback coming through, her connection isn’t breaking up, she’s loud, she’s clear.

Mikey: Your connection is not breaking up.

Caller: This is a brand new microphone.

Andrew: Oh, I see.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, this is a good call. This is what we call a good call. Good call, in the words of Mason. [laughs]

Caller: So yeah, I was wondering – because there’s the whole debate of Christianity versus Harry Potter. I actually started an organization, me and my friends, called the Potter-Christ Alliance because we are Christian Harry Potter fans.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: And so I’m trying to get my church involved. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh, very cool.

Caller: It’s hard.

Laura: Oh, that’s cool.

Caller: So we’re trying to have a Harry Potter event in California because we feel rejected in northern California.

Andrew: Awww, why’s that?

Mikey: It’s all about southern California, don’t worry.

Caller: Nobody is ever here!

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Caller: I did get to go to a Parselmouth show. That was cool. It was a couple of weeks ago.

Mikey: Oh, they’re really cool.

Caller: But we feel rejected. My friend does think Ben and Emerson are jerks.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: Why?

Jamie: Awww.

Caller: When they came to Walnut Creek, apparently…

Mikey: I was there! I was there at Walnut Creek also.

Caller: Okay. Apparently, there was this little kid, and they did a trivia and it had to do with a joke shop but the answer wasn’t Zonko’s and the little kid yelled it out anyway. So when we took a picture with them, apparently they were talking about the little kid. And so we walk away and my friend just goes, “They’re jerks!” And I’m like, “Who?” [laughs]

Andrew: Really?

Mikey: Oh, I think I remember. I think – no, the little kid at Walnut Creek, we were really impressed with him. I think that’s what they were talking about. They were talking about how they were impressed with the kid even though he wasn’t right on that trivia question, but he did know a lot of stuff. And he was really young, if I remember correctly. He was probably like five or six. I think they were talking about how they were impressed that either – if he’s read the books himself, that’s just pretty amazing. If not, he pays really good attention, because I remember when we’re five, we don’t really – I don’t remember – I had a…

Caller: I will make sure my friend learns that.

Mikey: Because I remember, we didn’t make fun of the little kid. I remember we were talking about how really awesome it was, [laughs] and we think his mom was really cool.

[Andrew laughs]

Caller: I’ll make sure my friend learns that they’re not jerks. [laughs]

Mikey: I was there. I remember what was going on.

Andrew: We do – okay, yeah, I shouldn’t say that. Never mind. Okay. Well, thank you for calling in, Jennay.

Caller: You’re welcome.

Andrew: Good luck with the Potter-Christ Alliance.

Caller: Yeah, it’s fun. [laughs] We do so much stuff together.

Andrew: Do you have a web site or something?

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh. Well, plug it.

Caller: We have a MySpace, actually.

Andrew: Oh, who doesn’t?

Caller: It’s and the number seven. No, actually no, that’s the other one. It’s potter and then seven at the end, I forgot. We had to change it.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh okay.

Caller: So it’s, and then you can get to the MySpace for our huge event that we’re trying to have.

Andrew: Okay, awesome. Well, thank you for calling in.

Caller: All right, thanks! Bye!

Jamie: Buh-bye!

Andrew: Bye!

Mikey: Bye!

Andrew: Okay.

Harry Potter-Related Jokes

Jamie: Can we take some jokes now, from callers?

Andrew: Yeah, we can take jokes from callers. Go ahead, Jamie. Set it up.

Jamie: Okay. Well, I want to hear some specifically Harry Potter-related jokes. But if not, just phone in with any joke. Keep them clean, please.

Mikey: I have a Harry Potter joke, guys.

Jamie: Go on then.

Mikey: Okay. So what did the goblin say to the wizard when he brought in a thousand Galleons and he’s like, “I’d like this in small change”?

Andrew: I don’t know.

Mikey: You’re Knuts!

Everyone: Ahhh!

Andrew: Haven’t we heard that before?

Mikey: Yeah, that was on the video game. That’s where I stole it from.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh okay.

Mikey: I’m not going to lie, I didn’t make it up. But it’s from the video game.

Listener Calls: Deathly Hallows Book Cover

Andrew: Caller, you’re live on MuggleCast.

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: Hi, can you turn your Ustream down?

Mikey: Echo.

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: Hi.

Caller: Sorry.

Andrew: Can you turn your Ustream down?

Caller: Is that better?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Yes, it is.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: What’s going on?

Caller: I’m good. Not much.

Jamie: Do you have a joke?

Andrew: Yeah, what’s going on? Yeah.

Mikey: Do you have a question?

Caller: I was just wondering if you guys could tell me what the cover for the seventh book is? Because I wasn’t really sure what that was.

Andrew: The cover for the seventh book?

Caller: Yeah.

Jerry: Which one? The US or the UK?

Jamie: Well, if you go and get your copy, it’s on the front.

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: Jamie.

Jamie: Sorry, sorry. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

Andrew: It’s…

Mikey: On the adult version, it’s the locket.

Laura: Yeah.

Mikey: On the UK adult, it’s the locket. So that’s the cover.

Caller: No, the US.

Mikey: Oh, the US one. The one that – okay.

Andrew: It’s Harry and Voldemort when they’re speaking with each other, and Harry is addressing Voldemort as Tom, and that’s in the Great Hall. And…

Caller: Oh okay.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, it’s right when their wands fly out of their hands, and they’re both reaching for the Elder Wand after it fires or whatever.

Caller: Oh!

Mikey: That’s why the one wand is in the air, and Voldemort is kind of looking like he’s being pushed away like scared and Harry is reaching for it, because the wand had just attacked him. And if you take a look at the sky, why does it looks like it’s on fire? The paragraph before said as this happened, the sun had just risen and it lit up the Great Hall sky like it was something, I don’t remember exactly what it read. And I’m going to get yelled at for not knowing the exact words.

Caller: Oh, so that’s why it looks like it’s outside.

Mikey: But yeah, someone actually pointed it out to us because we didn’t know it either. I’m sorry. But yeah, it’s that exact scene. It’s one paragraph as described. But it’s a pretty cool scene, I think.

Andrew: Yeah, definitely.

Caller: Yeah. Well, cool. Thanks.

Andrew: Okay. Well, thanks for calling in.

Jamie: Thank you. Buh-bye!

Caller: Yup.

Listener Calls: Pokemon References to Harry Potter

Andrew: Bye. Still looking for some jokes and things. Here’s someone who keeps calling in. Hi, Kara.

Jamie: Hey.

Caller: Huh?

Jamie: What’s on your mind?

Andrew: Hi!

Laura: Hi!

Caller: Hi! Hello!

Andrew: Hi. I noticed you’d been calling in a lot, so I thought it was time to answer your call.

Mikey: Oh finally.

Caller: Okay, yeah. Cool. All right, so [laughs] one thing that I’ve been wanting to say was that you answered one of my letters a while back. It was about – it was a Pokemon references letter.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: And – [laughs] yeah. And so it was the one about – here, I have it here. I wrote on Wikipedia that Giovanni died protecting his son from a fire. Now, if Voldemort really did [laughs] have a son that we didn’t know about and Pokemon is going to be the key to Harry Potter, then it could be that Voldemort died protecting his child. And then I said of course that doesn’t mean that Harry Potter didn’t kill Voldemort, and – do you remember any of this?

Andrew: Can’t say I do, no. [laughs]

Caller: And that would undermine the Harry Potter series.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: Yeah, do you remember that?

Andrew: No.

Caller: That was like Episode 80.

Andrew: Oh really? Well, that’s cool.

Caller: Yeah. Yeah anyway, I just think it was funny because [laughs] you all kind of was left speechless after that because I pretty much just said that the Pokemon references undermine Harry Potter referencing.

Andrew: Yeah. Well, we’re very passionate about the Harry Potter references here on MuggleCast. Oh sorry, the Pokemon references.

Jamie: Yes, we are.

Caller: Yeah. So anyway – oh, I also wanted to say that if you guys – you should actually come to Atlanta sometime just because Atlanta has the original Chick-fil-A restaurant. That’s where Chick-fil-A originated.

Andrew: Oh really? Oh yeah!

Caller: Yeah, and they have – it’s called the Dwarf House, it’s the original Chick-fil-A. You should all come and go to that. Also, every year Atlanta has this conference called DragonCon, and that’s a sci-fi/fantasy conference. And they do Harry Potter stuff. I went to it one day, and I got to meet – well, I didn’t get to meet them, but I got to see people from the Harry Potter movies, and it was James and Oliver Phelps, and Matthew Lewis.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s funny you mention that because actually we were invited to that last year, and Laura, Ben, and I were trying to get there, but they weren’t really accommodating us, so…

Caller: Oh no! I’m sorry!

Laura: It was really unfortunate. No, the girl that we were working with, her name is Lily.

Andrew: She was very nice.

Laura: She’s actually a listener, and she was absolutely fabulous.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: She was trying to get us in on everything, but unfortunately DragonCon would not give us media passes, they wouldn’t…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, they were being really hard about it.

Laura: So we ended up not being able to do it just because of being able to afford it, but…

Andrew: Right, right.

Caller: Oh.

Andrew: So heck with them!

Caller: Will you guys come next year? That would be amazing.

Andrew: Yeah, maybe we’ll come to…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …DragonCon ’08. [laughs]

Caller: [laughs] Okay, cool. Yeah, because they have it every year.

Andrew: Yeah, they do. They do.

Jamie: That’s awesome.

Laura: And I agree with you on Atlanta since I kind of…

Caller: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Used to live there.

Caller: Exactly.

Laura: Used to live close to there.

Andrew: Well, thank you for…

Laura: Will live there in the summer.

[Andrew laughs]

Caller: Yeah.

Mikey: I agree with you on the Chick-fil-A. Maybe I should do the original Chick-fil-A for my first time ever having it.

Caller: Yeah. Okay, yeah, do that. [laughs]

Andrew: It’s quite a trip just for your first Chick-fil-A. But all right, thank you, Kara.

Caller: Oh yeah. And of course, shout-out to the Vultures.

Andrew: Woo! Vultures!

Caller: I love the Vultures.

Andrew: I like the shout-out thing. It’s kind of fun.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: All right. So thank you, Kara, for calling in.

Caller: Hey Laura, are you going to be ever visiting Atlanta? Like, coming back for breaks or whatever?

Laura: Yeah, I am coming home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer. So…

Caller: Cool.

Laura: Yeah, I will be back.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: So maybe you guys can meet up and have coffee or something.

Caller: Yeah. Don’t forget to try to call Laura Mallory back.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Oh yeah, we’ll get on that. We’ll get on that.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you for calling.

Caller: Okay, yeah. Thank you.

Andrew: Bye!

Caller: Bye!

Laura: Bye!

Andrew: Jamie, nobody’s got any jokes. See…

Jamie: I know. I guess it’s kind of like – I’m pretty out of them, to be honest.

Listener Calls: Harry Potter Conferences

Andrew: Lucas, you’ve got a joke. I’m sure you do.

Caller: Actually I was looking up some jokes, but they just weren’t funny.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Awww.

Caller: So – yeah. But I was actually going to ask you, are you guys planning on going to a convention this summer? Like Terminus?

Mikey: I’m definitely thinking Terminus. I think I’ll probably end up being at [unintelligible] for some reason. I tend to go to [unintelligible] every year.

Andrew: I wish we were invited to – oh, this is – [laughs] thank you, Lucas. I love Lucas. He reminds me of everything. He – no, not he. We – [sighs] I don’t even know if I should bring this up.

Mikey: Don’t do it.

Caller: Do it.

Andrew: No, no, let me put it this way. [laughs] If anyone’s going to Portus – Lucas, I assume you are because it’s right there in Chicago.

Caller: Terminus is in Chicago. Portus is…

Andrew: Sorry. Portus is in Texas, right?

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: Yeah, I think so.

Mikey: Dallas.

Andrew: So Terminus is Chicago.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: If anyone’s going to Terminus and they would like us to be there, e-mail Terminus, the people at Terminus, and let them know. I don’t want people to do it in a mean way. We would like to go to Terminus but – [laughs] just e-mail them. Let them know that, “Hey, is MuggleCast going to be there? That’d be cool. A lot of fun. Blah blah blah.” That’s all I’m saying.

Caller: Yeah, I’ll e-mail them.

Jamie: Yeah, please do. Please everyone do. We want to go to Terminus.

Andrew: E-mail them. As for Portus, not sure. Next summer, it’s still a long way off so I don’t know. We’re actually going to start our own symposium. It’s going to be right here in Medford, and it’s going to be in my attic.

Jamie: Yes.

Laura: Oh boy, that’ll be…

Jamie: It’s called SimsCon.

Andrew: SimCon.

Laura: …the most exciting conference I’ve ever been to.

Jamie: SimsCon 2008.

Jerry: [unintelligible]

Jamie: I’m going to get a huge Chick-fil-A order, have an awesome time.

Andrew: What did you say, Jerry?

Laura: Jamie will show off more of his awesome dance moves.

Andrew: Yes. But awesome dance moves are allowed at my convention.

Laura: Oh. Well, good.

Andrew: Yeah. He can do them all night, no problem.

Jamie: Yeah, unlike Prophecy where awesome dance moves…

Andrew: Are not allowed.

Jamie: Are frowned upon.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] It’s a real shame. I mean, I didn’t see – whatever. But all right. Thanks, Lucas, for calling in.

Caller: Yeah, bye.

Andrew: Bye. See you in ten minutes. Let’s get another caller here.

[Jamie laughs]

MuggleCast 111 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: Who Would Win in a Duel Between Dumbledore & Chuck Norris?

Andrew: Hey, caller!

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Jamie: Hey!

Caller: Hi.

Andrew: Hi. How are you doing? Can you turn your Ustream down?

Caller: Yup.

Andrew: So we can’t hear ourselves. What’s going on?

Caller: Okay. Listening to this all day.

Andrew: Yeah? That’s good.

Mikey: I’m so sorry you have to listen to us all day.

Andrew: You know, I have to say…

Caller: No, I…

Andrew: Hold on one second. I have to say, this is going pretty well. Definitely could do this again more in the future. I’m just taking a little stretch break here. [sighs] Okay. So continue.

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: Thank you.

Andrew: Yeah, thanks.

Mikey: Thank you for listening to us.

Caller: This is great. I’m having a lot of fun.

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: Well, good. I’m really glad. We’re all really glad. So what’s going on? Besides listening… [laughs]

Caller: Okay, I have a question.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: In a duel, who do you think would win? Dumbledore or Chuck Norris?

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: In a duel?

Laura: Oh my gosh.

Jamie: In a fight?

Caller: Yeah, in a duel. Well, if they both had powers. [laughs]

Jamie: It’s going to be Chuck Norris.

Jerry: With or without magic?

Mikey: It’s going to be Chuck Norris, come on.

Jamie: Because – yeah.

Caller: Well, Dumbledore’s a wizard.

Mikey: Yeah, but still, it’s Chuck Norris.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Mikey: Like I don’t – all right, guys. When you guys come to “Chuck Norris versus anyone” jokes or anything, you’ve got to come to the realization that it’s Chuck Norris.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Okay?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: He’s Chuck Norris. A roundhouse kick will destroy the universe. He’s Chuck Norris.

Jamie: When you ask that question, Chuck Norris laughs because…

[Mikey laughs]

Jamie: …anyone who asks that question is just – it’s a question that he loves hearing, but I’d be careful where you walk in the future because anyone who asks that question has an 800,000 million percent more chance of getting a roundhouse kick to the face.

Mikey: Yeah, really. No.

Caller: [laughs] Okay. Well, I’m pretty tall, so…

Mikey: [laughs] See like – so basically I have a Chuck Norris widget on my computer, and you know there’s a product called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” right?

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah, yeah. Chuck Norris can…

Mikey: [laughs] Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter! That’s how amazing he is.

Jamie: The best one I’ve heard – I love the simple ones that are just stupid. Like I heard that – one was Chuck Norris has never lost a fight to a pirate.

Mikey: [laughs] Yeah. Well…

Jamie: This is in fact a lie [laughs] because Chuck Norris only says this to draw more pirates towards him. It’s just – some of them are just – awww.

Mikey: Well, my favorite is – one of my favorites is – you guys all know there’s an old rapper called MC Hammer.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: And he had a song called “Can’t Touch This.” [laughs] Well, Chuck Norris can in fact touch MC Hammer. You must realize, Chuck Norris is like – he’s Chuck Norris.

Jamie: [laughs] He’s just…

Mikey: [laughs] I could go on for ever.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: He’s the Chuck. He is the essence of wow.

Jamie: Do you know that every single Christmas, Chuck Norris selects one extremely lucky child to be thrown into the sun?

Mikey: [laughs] What?

Jerry: Wow.

Jamie: A very lucky child. Awww. I’ve been praying it would be me for years, but [sighs] it’s not happening.

Mikey: Yeah.

Caller: [laughs] You guys are really, really funny.

Mikey: [laughs] Oh man! I’m sorry, guys. I’m going through my Chuck Norris widget right here, and there’s one that says, “Chuck Norris doesn’t play God. Playing is for children.”

[Jamie and Jerry laugh]

Mikey: I’m not saying that Chuck Norris is God, by any means, but he is Chuck Norris. You don’t anger Chuck at all.

Caller: I think Dumbledore could still win.

Andrew: Me too. Actually, no. No, I don’t. Sorry, Mikey. It is Chuck Norris, you’re right.

Mikey: Actually, last night we actually had this big old conversation about this versus battle. So it wasn’t Chuck Norris, because, come on, it’s Chuck Norris. He wins against everybody. But we were talking about Star Wars versus Harry Potter and we really got into it big. People were like, “Really, you think that?” because – all right, don’t get me wrong, I love Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter. But in a Harry Potter versus Star Wars thing, I actually think Star Wars wins quite a bit. But there are times when Harry Potter wins, like the big two guys: Hagrid versus Chewbacca. Who would win?

Jamie: Hagrid would win.

Laura: Hagrid.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: But Chewie is a Wookiee.

Caller: But Chewbacca can’t say any words. He doesn’t have any words.

Mikey: He goes… [imitates Chewbacca]

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: He’s Chewie! Do you guys not realize that? And then it’s like Luke versus Harry. Come on, Luke versus Harry? I love Harry and all, but come on.

Jamie: I agree. Luke would absolutely…

Mikey: He’s a whiny. All right, and then you have the best friend: Han Solo versus Ron. Dude, come on, it’s Han Solo.

Jamie: Yeah, Han Solo. And Mikey…

Mikey: Now, yes, the Princess Leia versus Hermione…

Caller: Hermione would win.

Mikey: Hermione would win. I totally agree, Hermione would totally pwn Lea.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Don’t get me wrong, I love Leia and especially the slave girl costume, but really? Hermione would win. Now, when you go to Voldemort versus Vader, this is where it gets down to the ubergeek Star Wars fan and the ubergeek Harry Potter fan. And since I’m in the middle for both, I can rationalize this. We know for a fact that lightsabers can absorb magic. In the Extended Universe, the EU, which has been approved by Lucas Licensing, it can absorb lightning as well as other spells from the witches of a planet called Dathomir, I think. I can’t pronounce it right. But we know it can absorb spells, so if it’s Vader versus Voldemort, Voldemort is going to send an Avada Kedavra, Vader will block it with his lightsaber, it will absorb it, and then what will happen – he’ll just be like, “Hahaha, you’re not a Jedi yet,” and just choke him to death. So really…

Caller: So Voldemort will say he’ll make a big plan, and then in the end some little problem will end up ruining it.

Jamie: Exactly.

Mikey: Exactly, Vader would win. But then you go down to – but then here’s the one that you have to think about: Dumbledore versus Yoda.

Caller: Oh!

Jamie: Dumbledore.

Mikey: Oh!

Caller: Yoda’s pretty small.

Jamie: Dumbledore would win.

Mikey: But see – but Yoda would be just bouncing everywhere. He’s just as wise. You know what I mean?

Jamie: No, he’s not.

Mikey: Yoda?

Jamie: Dumbledore could beat Darth Sidious, and Yoda couldn’t beat Darth Sidious.

Caller: But Yoda would talk a lot. He would talk back and confuse Dumbledore.

Jamie: [laughs] Yeah.

Mikey: See, Yoda versus Dumbledore. Come on. And like just think about it, when they’re battling – they both want to use aggressive – if you take a look at Episode 2 and Episode 3, Yoda doesn’t forcefully attack Darth Sidious or Count Dooku. He kind of is like the one that’s kind of backing away and waiting for things to happen. But same thing with Dumbledore. He’s like, “Tom, don’t do this.” So they would both be circling each other, talking to each other for a long time. You really would have no clue with what would happen.

Jamie: Mikey, I love it when you get into things.

Mikey: See…

Jamie: [laughs] I love it when you get into things.

Mikey: I don’t know. I really don’t know who would win. I want to say Dumbledore because I’m Dumbledore’s man through and through, but Yoda is like this little guy that would just be hopping around. I think it would be amazing to see it. So I don’t know.

Caller: Yoda’s kind of like Gandhi, only not. [laughs]

Jerry: Only greener.

Caller: Yeah, only greener. But he’s real peaceful. But I think Dumbledore would win.

Andrew: Martin Warlick is writing in at from Raleigh, North Carolina. He says:

“Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.”

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: That’s crazy.

Jamie: He does, he does.

Mikey: Chuck Norris is amazing, I must say.

Andrew: Not to inflate your ego, Mikey, but Bubble from Michigan writes:

“Mikey, I’m officially in love with you.”

Jamie: Awww. Hey Mikey…

Mikey: Yes!

Andrew: John Groves writes:

“Create a poll: ‘Harry Potter’ versus ‘Star Wars’.”

That’s a good idea.

Mikey: All right, guys. Really? All right, right now on this Harry Potter versus Star Wars poll, we all know Harry Potter is going to win. Why? It’s a Harry Potter podcast.

Caller: Yeah, because everyone likes Harry Potter.

Andrew: Oh, that’s true, but let’s do it anyway because we could do a million polls. [laughs] I’m starting up the poll.

Mikey: Wait, I think you guys should make the poll “Yoda versus Dumbledore.” And give it really thought, guys. Even if you don’t like Star Wars, think about. If you’ve seen Yoda fight, he’s this all wisdom – when nine-hundred years old you get, will you look that good? Come on. He’s green! Who doesn’t love him?

Caller: And if lightsabers can absorb magic, then obviously Yoda is going to win.

Mikey: But again though – you remember, they’re both not going to fight each other in the sense of they’re not going to attack each other, not going to use anger and stuff like that. Who knows!

Andrew: The poll is now live, Dumbledore versus Yoda. So feel free to vote.

Mikey: I’m not going to vote on this, I want to see how it turns out. But really, guys, I know we all love Harry Potter, but think about it, Dumbledore versus Yoda, these two great masters. Sorry, this is what I get into.

Andrew: Yeah, I know.

Jerry: Dumbledore can use Occlumency, can’t he? Can Yoda use Occlumency?

Caller: But what about Flitwick and R2-D2?

Andrew: [laughs] What?

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: Wait, who and R2-D2?

Andrew and Caller: Flitwick.

Mikey: [laughs] Oh!

Andrew: No contest.

Mikey: They were played by the same character.

[Caller and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: And Flitwick and – how many characters are played by Warwick Davis in Star Wars? There’s like eight or nine. [laughs] So Flitwick versus eight or nine characters he plays in Star Wars.

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: I love it.

Andrew: Yeah. Okay, thank you for calling in.

Caller: Thank you.

Andrew: No problem. Bye!

Caller: Oh, can I give a shout-out…

Andrew: Sure, sure.

Caller: …to Kenny Davis?

Andrew: Kenny Davis! Woo!

Caller: In Utah. I just moved from Utah and you guys are like my saviors, moving from Utah to Arkansas. [laughs]

Andrew: Awww. Well, good. We’re glad. Thank you for calling in!

Caller: Thank you!

Andrew: Bye.

Caller: Bye.

Listener Jokes: Request

Andrew: Okay, good call. Let’s take – hi, Jackie.

Caller: Hi!

Andrew: How are you doing?

Laura: Hi.

Mikey: Hi.

Caller: Good! I just wanted to say that guys really need to accept the call from Bryan. His Skype name is actually Bryarn. He has an awesome joke for you guys, and he keeps trying to get through and you guys just haven’t answered his call yet, and it would really make his day.

Andrew: What’s his Skype name?

Caller: Bryarn.

Andrew: No, spell it out for me.

Caller: B-R-Y-A-R-N.

Andrew: Okay, Bryarn. Okay. Are you okay?

Caller: Yeah!

Andrew: You’re breathing really heavy, you’re scaring me.

Caller: I really want him to get on because he’s been trying to get on for the longest time.

Andrew: Okay. Let’s see – oh okay. Yeah, I saw he called in earlier. We’re getting him in here right now.

Listener Jokes: Elephant in a Suitcase

Caller: Oh my God.

Andrew: There you go. Hold on one second though, because now you’re not talking with everyone else. There we go. Is everyone in here now? Oh, hold on. Wait. Let’s do this the right way. Man, I’m such a bad podcaster! I’m quitting. Okay, thank you for calling, Jackie. We got him now.

Caller: All right, all right.

Andrew: Hold on, wait a second. Wait a second. One more…

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Okay, let’s try this one more time. Okay, we’re good now.

Caller: How are we all doing?

Andrew: Doing great, thanks.

Caller: All right.

Andrew: How are you? What’s your name? Where are you from?

Caller: I’m Bryan. I’m from New York.

Andrew: Okay.

Laura: Okay, cool.

Caller: And I – now, this is actually a kind of inappropriate…

[Andrew laughs]

Caller: …joke, so I was kind of – so what’s the word?

Andrew: See, here’s the thing: we would be the gods of comedy if this wasn’t a children’s program, but we have to censor ourselves so much that we’re not funny. So anyway, what’s your joke? Try to keep it as family-friendly as possible. Substitute words if you have to.

Caller: All right, all right, all right. So I figured out a safe way to fit an elephant in a suitcase.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Caller: And you take the S out of “safe” and the F out of “way.” If you do that, what…

Andrew: So say this again?

Caller: So you have a safe way to fit an elephant in a suitcase.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: And you take the S out of “safe”…

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: …and F out of “way.”

Andrew: F out of “way”? There’s no effin’ a way.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I fell right into that one.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh God, that was good. That was good. I’m humiliated now. I actually…

Laura: [unintelligible] …for how loud you laughed.

Andrew: Sorry, sorry.

[Caller and Laura laugh]

Andrew: I wrote “safe way” on a piece of paper and I was crossing out the letters.

Laura: [laughs] Yeah, so did I!

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Andrew: Okay, that was good.

Caller: All right, and I just have to make a shout-out to my best friend Wallace and in SPoT – she’s a great person and I like her a lot.

Andrew: Okay. Any other jokes? Now I’m entertained.

Caller: No, I got nothing, I’m sorry.

Andrew: Jamie is silent, though. I think he’s a little upset that he can’t come up with something as good.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: He’s not even here. Maybe that’s the problem.

Jamie: No, I’m here. I’m here, I’m here. Sorry.

Andrew: Oh okay. It was a pretty funny joke.

Jamie: What was it? I…

Andrew: Tell it one more time, Byran.

Caller: All right, all right. So I found out a safe way to fit an elephant in a suitcase.

Jamie: Okay.

Caller: And you take S out of “safe” and the F out of “way.”

Jamie: You what?

Caller: You take the S out of “safe” and the F out of “way.”

Jamie: I have no idea what…

[Everyone laughs]

Mikey: What he’s trying to say is there’s no letter F in the word “way.”

Andrew: So you say, “There’s no effin’ way.”

Jamie: Ahhh.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: I guess it’s American humor.

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: Because I really appreciated that joke.

Jamie: Yeah, that is quite American humor, I’m not going to lie.

Jerry: I enjoyed it.

Jamie: Very funny, though.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Very funny, very funny.

Caller: All right, thanks for answering.

Andrew: No problem. Thanks for – what did you say about Pickle Pack?

Caller: I didn’t say anything about Pickle Pack. [laughs]

Andrew: I thought you mentioned it earlier, no?

Caller: No, sorry.

Andrew: Okay. I’m nuts then. All right, thanks.

Caller: Thanks, guys. Bye.

Andrew: Bye. There’s no effin’ way, guys. Okay. Well, thank you for that.

Laura: That was funny.

Andrew: That was wonderful.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay. Well, we’re going to take a break now and regroup. And in the next hour we’ll take some more calls. Also, I’m hearing somebody maybe calling us back. Not too sure about that, but we’ll get to that in a second. You are listening to MuggleCast Live. We’ll be back in just a few minutes.

[“Veronica” by Elvis Costello plays]

[“I’ll Be At Hogwarts” by The Remus Lupins plays]