Transcript #112

MuggleCast 112 Transcript

Listener Calls: Favorite Harry Potter Book Scene

[“I’ll Be At Hogwarts” by The Remus Lupins plays]

Andrew: MuggleCast Live back now, it’s – oh gosh, 8:30 – 8:27 to be exact – on the East Coast here.

Mikey: 5:25 here.

Andrew: 5:25 on the West Coast. I just ran straight out of the bathroom because I had to use the potty. Big announcement coming up in a few minutes. It’s something we’ve been trying to accomplish over the past few months and finally she has agreed to an interview, so we’re going to get to that in a minute. However, I’m getting word that a certain Mr. John Noe is in…

Jamie: No, no, no, [laughs] no. It’s not going to be John, is it? I mean, I don’t want to say it’s a negative person who clearly it’s not going to be, but…

Andrew: What do you mean?

Jamie: Well, it isn’t really John, is it?

Andrew: Well, apparently it is and…

Jamie: Well, surely John would just call if it was really John?

Andrew: Well, what do you mean?

Jamie: Well, why would it be John? I mean, surely John would just call the show if it was actually John Noe.

Andrew: Well, I think he likes messing with people, too. I don’t – I can’t confirm or deny.

Jamie: In that case, it’s MuggleNet Greg.

Andrew: Anyway – [laughs] yeah, it’s MuggleNet Greg. But I’m trying to open the chatroom. Oh, chatroom’s right here.

Jamie: He doesn’t speak like John.

Andrew: Is – what are you – oh, are you watching the chat too?

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh. What’s his name? Is it like…

Jamie: John_Dawlish, which I don’t think John would pick in a chatroom.

Andrew: See, I think that’s him because someone – he put a comment on the feed, saying, “John -” or he said, “Interesting…” Oh wait, maybe it’s not. Would he really say “I speak badger-tongue?”

Jamie: No.

[Laura laughs]

Jerry Cooke: No.

Andrew: Actually he would. Okay, but anyway – okay. Well, let’s take a couple of callers. If that is John Noe, call in, tough guy. I want to see what you have to say about this.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Sorry. Okay, so do you want to take a couple of more callers?

Laura: Yeah, okay.

Andrew: [takes deep breath] Oh man. Okay, here we go. Oh my gosh! We’re getting bombarded! It doesn’t stop! Why do you listen to this stuff? Okay, here we go. Kimmy, hello.

[Prolonged silence]

Laura: Hello?

Andrew: Kimmy, hello.

Caller: Hi!

Andrew: Hi!

Jamie: Hey!

Caller: I’m on here! Oh my gosh!

Andrew: Oh my gosh! Oh my God, I’m on the podcast!

Laura: Awww.

[Caller makes excited noises]

Andrew: What’s going on?

Caller: This is so exciting!

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: Awww.

Andrew: Well, I’m glad you…

Laura: Have you been listening all day?

Caller: [laughs] I’m so excited! I’ve been calling since noon.

Laura: Oh my gosh.

Caller: Non-stop.

Laura: Wow.

Caller: [makes excited noises] Oh my gosh! Hold on, I have to make a shout-out to my friend Bobby because she’s been calling with me, too.

Jamie: [singing] “Dear Bobby…”

Andrew: Awesome!

Jamie: [singing] “…do you remember when…”

[Caller makes excited noises]

Andrew: So what’s going on? Why have you been calling since 12:00?

Caller: Because I love you guys more than life.

Laura: Aww!

Jamie: Aww!

Andrew: Aww, that’s so nice!

Laura: That’s so sweet!

[Caller makes excited noises]

Andrew: Well, thank you.

Laura: Anything you want to say? Any questions or anything?

Caller: [unintelligible] you guys because I bought an entire jar of pickles.

Andrew: Sorry, say that again?

Caller: And I ate them all.

Andrew: You bought an entire what?

Caller: I ate an entire jar of pickles.

Andrew: An entire jar of pickles?

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Wow! [laughs]

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: That’s crazy.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: I’m not going to lie, that’s pretty crazy.

Caller: Yeah. [laughs] It was yummy, though.

Andrew: Was it? See, I personally don’t like the taste of pickles. I’m not a fan.

Caller: Oh.

Andrew: Anyone else?

Mikey: I enjoy a good pickle every once in a while.

Jamie: Yeah, Andrew isn’t a fan, but Chick-fil-A wasn’t really a catch phrase we could use, was it?

Andrew: [laughs] I take the pickles…

Mikey: Chick-fil-A! Chick-fil-A!

Andrew: I – sorry. I take the pickles off of my Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches. I don’t really like the taste. Not good. So, did you have anything else to say?

Caller: I was wondering what your guys’ favorite scene from any book was.

Andrew: All-time favorite scene.

Mikey: Oh, I know mine.

Andrew: What’s yours?

Jamie: Voldemort and Harry in Order of the Phoenix.

Mikey: Mine was in – probably not my all-time favorite, but I remember one specifically where I got really excited and I was a total dork about it, was in Half-Blood Prince, when Harry and Ginny finally kissed. I literally stopped and I jumped. I was like, “Yeah!”

Caller: Yes, oh my God, yes!

Mikey: And I was like, “Oh wait, I’m going to continue reading,” and I totally tried to play it down like I wasn’t a dork, but – [laughs] I remember myself being like, “That was awesome.” And I stopped.

Jerry: It brought a tear to my eye.

[Caller makes excited noises]

Jamie: [laughs] Hey Andrew, someone in the chat thinks that we should start “Chick-fil-A Pack.”

Andrew: “Chick-fil-A Pack”? Hey, hey, are you okay, Kimmy?

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Kimmy?

Caller: I’m fine, I’m just very excited! [laughs]

Jamie: Aww.

Andrew: Oh okay. I could tell. [laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] She likes that scene, too.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: We have a common bond here. We’re like best friends. We’re like BFFs now. Did you know that, Andrew?

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Oh Mikey, don’t use that phrase, please!

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: What phrase? BFF?

Laura: LOL.

Mikey: LOL. Who wants to be BFF with me?

Jerry: There’s nothing wrong with using young lingo.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: It’s an awful expression. Mikey, I’ll pay you a hundred dollars a day not to use that expression.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: I will not use that anymore, give me money!

Jamie: [laughs] Okay, I will.

[Jerry laughs]

Jamie: I’ll give you a hundred dollars a second…

[Caller and Laura laugh]

Jamie: …as long as you don’t use that God-awful phrase!

Mikey: Okay.

Andrew: Kimmy, everyone wants to know, are you – how do I say – crying right now?

Caller: No, I’m not crying!

[Andrew laughs]

Caller: I’m just laughing and very excited. [laughs]

Andrew: Okay. Well, the chat people don’t believe that. [laughs] But anyway…

Caller: Well, they’re liars!

Andrew: [laughs] They’re lying?

Jamie: Aww.

Andrew: Okay, that’s…

Mikey: Leave my BFF alone, guys. Really, guys.

Caller: They are! [unintelligible]

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Leave my BFF alone. Come on.

Andrew: Laura, your all-time favorite scene?

Caller: Oh my God!

Andrew: Okay… [laughs]

Laura: Oh my gosh, there’s so many, but if I had to pick something that I really liked reading about, it was reading about Voldemort as a child in the orphanage. That was just so intriguing, going into his past, and just learning more about him and how evil he was as a child. That’s just terrible.

Andrew: Yeah.

Laura: Also because Jo read it at the reading, so that was just – aww, it was so amazing to see.

Andrew: Yeah. I can’t do this with Kimmy laughing in the background. [laughs]

Caller: I’m sorry!

Andrew: [laughs] I’m just messing with you. I think my favorite scene has to be when Umbridge catches Harry in her office in Order of the Phoenix. Because that scene, my heart just stopped, and that’s when I felt the most emotion to get back at Umbridge and stuff like that. I’ve said previously on the show Order of the Phoenix is my favorite book, and I’ve also said I love the Umbridge aspect of Order of the Phoenix, and just those two combined created my favorite scene. Jamie?

Jamie: I would say either the one in – I like two: when Harry calls Voldemort “Tom Riddle,” and when Dumbledore calls Voldemort “Tom Riddle.” I think that’s just so awesome. It defines the whole thing not being afraid of…

Caller: You’re so right, Jamie!

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh, thank you. [laughs] And also, what else? And everything…

Caller: Jamie’s my favorite! [laughs]

Jamie: Oh, thank you.

[Caller laughs]

Jamie: Sorry if I sound completely dead to the world. It’s 1:35. I’m dying!

[Caller and Jerry laugh]

Andrew: Oh, here we go.

Jamie: Well, okay, Andrew! Okay, Andrew!

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: You do it at 1:35!

Laura: [imitating Jamie] Oh, Andrew! Oh, Andrew! I’m so tired, Andrew! Let me go! Let me go!

Jerry: You don’t hear me complaining, Jamie.

Andrew: Ooh!

[Jerry laughs]

Jamie: Jerry, that’s because you stay up until 8:00 AM every day. [laughs] I’m trying to get back onto…

Jerry: Yeah, it’s true. [laughs]

Jamie: …onto a… [unintelligible]

Jamie: Anyway, anyway, I completely agree [pauses] with myself [laughs] that…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …both these things are cool.

[Caller laughs]

Jamie: But also, anything involving Sirius, because he was the man about town, the bee’s knees. He was the best, best, best character ever. And I can’t believe he died. I’m going to cry. So, yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: That’s crazy.

Caller: Sirius is up there in the best characters, like Tonks and Luna.

Jamie: No. I mean, you’re welcome to your opinion.

Caller: Yeah!

Andrew: Hey, I want to – if you guys don’t mind – Kimmy, thank you for calling in. Hope you enjoyed the call.

Caller: Bye!

Andrew: I think you did. Bye!

Laura: Bye, Kimmy. [laughs]

Mikey: Did you think she did, enjoy the call?

Laura: Only a little bit.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Really?

Laura: Yeah.

Jerry: Just a wee bit.

Mikey: We’re BFFs, so it’s okay.

Audio Clip: Jamie Begs For Release

Andrew: Speaking of that clip where Jamie is complaining, I happen to have it queued up right here.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Now, I know it’s been only for Pickle Pack members, but do you guys mind if I play it?

Jamie: I mind. I mind.

Laura: No, go for it. It’s so funny.

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: [laughs] It’s so funny.

Jerry: I think the world needs to bask in its glory.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: I want to give a bit of backstory here, okay? I was pretty ill here, okay? So…

[Audio (Jamie)]: “Laura, can I go as well? I feel so bad.”

[Jerry and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Whatever, Andrew. You are…

[Audio (Laura)]: “Can you live through like…”

Andrew: Sorry, Jamie, what was that? What’d you say?

Jamie: You aren’t safe.

Andrew: What’d you say?

Jamie: You are not safe.

[Audio (Jamie)]: “Please, can I go? I…”

Andrew: Sorry. No, sorry, what’d you say?

Jamie: I think you aren’t safe.

[Audio (Laura)]: “Can you live through…”

Andrew: What? What’d you say?

Jamie: Oh, shut up.

[Laura laughs]

[Audio (Laura)]: “Can you live through five voicemails and Chicken Soup?”

[Audio (Jamie)]: “I’m coughing so badly. No, I can’t. I really can’t. Please, please let me go.”

[Laura laughs]

[Audio (Jamie)]: “Please let me go. I feel so awful and I’m ill and I’m coughing. I’ll do anything.”

[Audio (Laura)]: “Okay, okay, three voicemails and Chicken Soup.”

[Audio (Jamie)]: “No, no, no, no, no, I’ll do Chicken Soup now. Please can I do Chicken Soup now and then voicemails, and then after Chicken Soup I’ll go. And then you three can do voicemails very nicely because you are awesome at voicemails and I’m not very good. Please, please, please! Oh God!”

[Kevin and Laura laugh in audio clip]

[Audio (Jamie)]: “Please let me go, Laura! I’m so tired! Please!”

Andrew: So that went on for like a minute.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Andrew: And it’s probably the funniest clip I’ve ever heard in my life. No offense to you, Jamie. I understand, you were tired.

Jamie: But, but, but, but, but, but… [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] But, but, but.

Jamie: Speaking of that clip, Andrew, I am so tired now. I am so tired. So please…

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: No, I’m kidding. I’m staying for the whole whack.

Andrew: Okay, good. By the way, are we caught up with our vegetables? Before we get to a call?

Jamie: Oh yeah. What hour are we on? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight – this is hour nine, right?

Andrew: Yes, this is hour nine.

Jamie: Okay, in which case your vegetable for this hour is cress.

Andrew: What?

Jamie: Cress.

Andrew: Cresp?

Jamie: Cress.

Jerry: Do they even have cress in America?

Andrew: Oh yeah…

Jamie: Perhaps they don’t. Okay…

Andrew: I don’t know what that is.

Jamie: Okay. Well…

Jerry: [unintelligible]

Mikey: Wikipedia, let’s take a look.

Jamie: Oh really? [unintelligible] Well anyway, Jerry, I don’t think we should give in. I think we should stand firm. It’s cress, C-R-E-S-S. That’s your vegetable.

Jerry: Yes. Wiki it, Andrew. Wiki it.

Jamie: Wikipedia.

Mikey: Do you mean water cress?

Jamie: No.

Jerry: No, we mean cress.

Jamie: Mikey, I thought they were the same thing, but they’re not. They’re apparently different vegetables, according to…

Mikey: Well, because there’s water cress, land cress, garden cress, winter cress, and rock cress.

Andrew: Jamie…

Mikey: I’m looking at vegetables related to the article. There’s – yeah, there’s not really an article on it.

Jamie: Okay. Well, either way it’s cress. [laughs]

Andrew: Jamie, one listener wants to know if there is even such a thing as a vegetable in England.

Jamie: No, no, there’s not.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Jerry: No, we eat flandables.

Jamie: Absolutely nothing.

Andrew: Flandables?

Jerry: Yeah.

Jamie: I’ve never heard of one. Andrew was like, before, “Real vegetables use that.” I had no idea what he was talking about.

Andrew: Really?

Jamie: Yes.

Andrew: So what about – [laughs] what about organized dentistry? You guys have that over there?

Jamie: Organized dentistry?

Andrew: Yeah.

Jerry: Yeah.

Jamie: As in a collective pack of dentists? Is that what you’re asking me?

Andrew: [laughs] Well, basically.

[Jamie laughs]

Jerry: The British Order of Dentists.

Jamie: Yes, the British Order of Dentists. I’m sure there’s something like that.

Andrew: Okay, cool.

Jamie: Why? Where was that from?

Interview: Laura Mallory

Andrew: It was just a listener. Hey, we have a very special call we’re about to take right now. Laura Mallory has decided to – during the break she called me back and she has agreed…

Jamie: Really?

Andrew: Yeah! She has agreed to talk to us here on the show live. So I’m very excited about this. Guys, feel free to add your questions while we take the call here. Now, please treat her – respect her, okay? She has an opinion. It’s America. Let’s get her in the conference here.

[Phone rings]

Andrew: I’m nervous, to be honest with you. This is – and my heart’s actually pounding. Okay. [takes deep breath] This is podcasting history, by the way. She has never agreed to give an interview to a Harry Potter fandom outlet. So…

John Noe/Laura Mallory: Hello?

Andrew: Hi, Laura Mallory?

John/Laura M: Who is this?

Andrew: This is Andrew Sims.

Jamie: We’re your worst nightmare.

Andrew: You called me back over the break. You said you’d agree to do an interview.

John/Laura M: Is this the Muggle show?

Andrew: Yeah, this is the Muggle show. This is MuggleCast.

Jamie: Andrew, be reasonable with her. She gets turned down in court five times. How’s she going to remember who she phoned?

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: Jamie, can we show a little respect here? It’s the number one Harry Potter podcast online. We just had a few questions for you about what you’ve been doing.

John/Laura M: Harry Potter?!

Andrew: Yeah, Harry Potter.

John/Laura M: Harry Potter?!

Andrew: Yeah. [laughs] I know you don’t like to talk about it, but just – can we have an adult discussion about it?

[Sounds of heavy breathing]

Andrew: [laughs] Are you okay? Are you okay, Laura?

John/Laura M: Yes. Yes.

Andrew: Okay.

John/Laura M: It’ll be fine.

Andrew: Huh?

John/Laura M: Okay, let’s do this.

Andrew: Okay. I guess the first question is why? Why have you been fighting so many cases in court?

Jamie: Yeah.

John/Laura M: Because Harry Potter is bad.

Jamie: What do you mean?

Andrew: Do you have any other case besides that?

Laura: Yeah, do you a justification for that? [laughs]

John/Laura M: Witchcraft!

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Witchcraft.

Jamie: No, that is a fair argument.

John/Laura M: [unintelligible] choose to not be witches.

Andrew: You’re not making much sense. Laura, do you have any questions for her? I lost my list of…

Jamie: I have some questions.

Andrew: Okay.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: Do you – I mean, most people after they try something five times and still fail at life…

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: …most of them give up and try something new, but you seem to be beneath that. Are you really that low of a human being? No offense.

John/Laura M: Okay, first off, none of the attempts have been failures. Okay?

[Andrew laughs]

John/Laura M: No matter what the result…

Laura: Except for the fact that you lost?

John/Laura M: …I still made progress!

Andrew: You’ve made progress? What progress have you made? It’s still not banned in any school or library.

Jerry: It’s almost a lack of progress.

John/Laura M: My name is being spread around the world, people are starting to know me, and people are also agreeing that Harry Potter is the worst thing ever.

Andrew: Now, wait a second…

John/Laura M: Witchcraft, wizardry…

Andrew: We have 825 people listening right now and I’m sure they would all have no problem with calling you right now and telling you that it is not the worst thing in the world or [laughs] whatever you just said.

John/Laura M: You have 825 possessed people.

Andrew: Now, that’s not very nice. I mean, they’ve been sitting here listening to our show and we thank them for that. You’re calling them possessed?

John/Laura M: They’re possessed by the book.

Andrew: Now, you were named the Idiot of the Year. 2006 Idiot of the Year by Washington Post. What kind of comment do you have about that?

Jamie: Well, she’s hoping to uphold her award for the next ten years.

John/Laura M: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you sound like an idiot to me.

Mikey: You know what, Laura Mallory?

Laura: Ms. Mallory…

Mikey: Ms. Mallory, I do have a question for you. Have you read a Harry Potter book all the way through?

John/Laura M: No, I have not and I won’t. I have my four kids and I don’t even have the time to be doing that.

Mikey: Then how can you say…

Laura: But you have the time to appeal it six times?

John/Laura M: All I have the time for is the court cases and progress. Progress! It’s all progress.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

John/Laura M: Losing is still progress, and I…

Mikey: Progress? Progress?

Andrew: You’re not making much progress though.

Mikey: [laughs] You’re not making much progress. It’s like you’re doing the same thing over and over again, which is losing.

John/Laura M: You all know me, more and more people know me, your 820 listeners know me, and I guarantee that some of them agree with me.

Jamie: Hey, Laura…

Andrew: That’s a fair point. She has made – a lot of people do know her now, so that I guess could be said to be progress.

Jerry: Your personal fame is success?

Andrew: I guess, yeah.

Jamie: Laura, are you married?

John/Laura M: What?

Jamie: Are you married?

Andrew: Are you married?

Jamie: Are you married? Yes…

John/Laura M: Separated.

Jamie: …or no?

Andrew: You’re separated, you said?

John/Laura M: Separated.

Andrew: Oh.

Jamie: Finally realized…

John/Laura M: I have my four kids, I have custody of my kids.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Okay. Your cell phone doesn’t work that well. I mean, maybe you should invest some money into a new cell phone instead of all these stupid court cases.

John/Laura M: They’re not stupid! Nothing is stupid! Harry Potter is stupid!

Andrew: Okay. Well…

Mikey: Oh.

Laura: You want to know what I think is stupid, Laura?

Andrew: Your face!

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Jamie: Your life!

Laura: I’m looking at this site right now…

[Andrew laughs]

Laura: …this site called – I think you might know it, I actually think it’s your site – where you don’t cite any of your sources. You pull stuff from people’s MySpace profiles saying that they’re witches.

Andrew: [laughs] What?! What?

Laura: [laughs] It’s true!

Andrew: I’ve never seen this site.

Laura: It’s her site, [laughs]

John/Laura M: [unintelligible] No, you’re wrong, girl.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: What is her site? I’m sorry, I wasn’t…

Laura: It’s and then if you go to “Articles” and click “Harry Potter,” she has articles, quotes, and testimonies, none of which are cited or sourced. And she like literally pulls somebody’s MySpace profile that says, “I am a witch.”

Andrew: Wow.

Laura: And blames it on Harry Potter. I was just wondering what sort of correlation you found between MySpace and Harry Potter, aside from wizard rock, maybe.

John/Laura M: Because everyone on MySpace…

[Laura laughs]

John/Laura M: …says when Harry Potter will express it. That person expresses just how everyone else wants to express it. People are becoming witches every single day because of this.

Jamie: Laura, there’s a Billy Joel song that’s called “Only the Good Die Young.” If that’s true, then you’re going to live to an old, old, old, old, ripe old age.

John/Laura M: [gasps] How dare you! Who is this?

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Yeah, it’s not funny, okay. I don’t appreciate the unprofessional level my co-hosts are conducting this interview. I apologize for that.

Mikey: Whoa, what have I said?

Andrew: Nothing. Mikey, it’s not you and not even Jerry. It’s just – Laura and Jamie, they’re taking this as a joke. As if it’s funny!

Laura: I’m not! Okay, I’m sitting here asking her – I’m reading stuff from her site. I’m just asking her to back up her information, that’s all.

John/Laura M: [unintelligible] It’s all right there on the site.

Laura: Yeah, but it’s not…

John/Laura M: That’s all it needs to be. It needs to be on the site. You read it, and you’ll sometimes agree with it. I guarantee it.

Laura: [laughs] Okay.

Andrew: Okay. Well, Laura Mallory, thank you for calling in.

Jamie: Yeah.

John/Laura M: You’ll never win! You’ll never win! 820 listeners…

Laura: You would know a lot about that, wouldn’t you?

John/Laura M: 850 listeners, 900 listeners…

[Andrew laughs]

John/Laura M: It doesn’t matter because some day, I will succeed.

Andrew: All right. Well…

Jamie: [laughs] Laura, there’s a – actually, no.

[Jamie and Laura laugh]

Andrew: Okay. Thank you very much for calling in, Laura Mallory. We really appreciate that. Thank you.

John/Laura M: Yeah, keep laughing.

Andrew: Okay.

John/Laura M: Some day I’ll win.

Andrew: All right, you’re crazy.

Jamie: Buh-bye.

Andrew: Goodbye.

Jamie: I hope she’s never heard of the word “slander” or “liable” because we could get into trouble.

[Everyone laughs]

Andrew: [in a sing-song voice] We’re going to get sued. [back to normal voice] But wait, why? That was her.

Jamie: Hmm? Oh, I mean obviously it was her. But I mean, you know.

Laura: Yeah.

Jamie: I was going to say: Laura, there’s a train arriving extremely close to you. I suggest you go and stand in front of it.

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jamie: But that could be a bit mean, so…

Andrew: A couple of people in the chat were saying that was annoying and dumb. What? That’s a…

Jamie: Awww.

Andrew: I’m fed up with these people in the chat. They’re talking like this is all a joke, this is a very funny – no! That was Laura Mallory! She called me back! I got her number, she called me back, okay? A legit interview, that was her. [pauses] Allegedly. Let’s move on now to – let’s take some more calls. Take some more calls. Maybe people can comment on that interview we just had.

[Prolonged silence]

Listener Calls: Strangest Reactions From People After They Find Out You’re a Harry Potter Fanatic

Andrew: Hi, Monica. Welcome to the show, Monica.

Jamie: Hey, Monica.

Caller: Oh my God!

Andrew: Oh my God! Hey, how’s it going?

Laura: Hi, Monica.

Caller: Hi! I’m good. How are you?

Andrew: We’re doing good. What’s on your mind? What did you think of the Laura Mallory interview?

Caller: It was interesting. I never knew she had such a manly voice before.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Well, I mean…

Laura: Well, now you know.

[Laura and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: When it comes…

Mikey: Yeah, I know. Really? Who has such a manly voice?

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: When it comes through on Skype, it’s like this weird Skype thing. I don’t know how it works. But…

Caller: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Anyway, what’s going on?

Caller: Nothing really. I had a question but someone asked it, about the conferences. But I have another one.

Laura: Okay.

Caller: What’s the strangest reaction you’ve ever gotten after someone realized that you’re a Harry Potter fanatic?

Laura: Hmm.

Andrew: Ooh.

Jamie: [unintelligible] the emergency room. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Strange reaction. I think when people learn of – I never really describe myself to anyone as a Harry Potter fanatic. But when I tell them what I do, I’m like, “Yeah, I run a Harry Potter podcast,” the first reaction is like, “What? Huh?”

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: “Who? How?”

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: And then once I explain to them, “Oh. Well, it has this many listeners, and we can do a live show on a Saturday night and get 877 people listening right now.” So it’s always a good reaction [laughs] after the explanation.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: How about you guys?

Laura: For me, the first question is always, “What’s a podcast?” So many people don’t know what it is and it’s gotten to the point where I just say that I participate in a radio broadcast about the Harry Potter books.

Andrew: Mmm.

Laura: And still people don’t even get that because they think about radio and they think about commercial radio, you know, your regular morning talk shows and that kind of thing. And I have to explain that there’s actually a whole network of people who have podcasts on very focused topics like Harry Potter. And after that, they think it’s pretty cool. But explaining it is somewhat difficult, I think.

Mikey: It’s actually really easy to explain. A podcast is an internet radio show that’s downloadable for you to listen to on your computer…

Laura: I’m not talking about the actual podcasting medium, though.

[Mikey laughs]

Laura: I’m talking about the Harry Potter thing, Mikey.

Mikey: Oh sorry. Yeah, it’s – I have to explain podcasts quite often, so I’ve come down to a science of what a podcast is.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Andrew: It’s okay.

Mikey: Sorry, I’m delirious already.

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: I’m up to the point where I’m like, “Wow, I’m still sitting at my computer screen.”

Andrew: See, Jamie, these people talk like they’ve been here since noon.

Mikey: Oh gosh. I’m sorry, guys.

[Andrew laughs]

Jerry: Some of us have to work.

Mikey: Well see, the difference is – Andrew, the difference is I actually have a life and I feel like I’m just wasting away in front of the computer.

Andrew: Thanks. If that’s how you – say that to the listeners one more time.

Mikey: Well no, I love our listeners and that’s why I’m sticking around: for them. But you, Andrew. I’m saying you don’t have a life.

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: So…

Andrew: Well, let’s put it this way.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: I could have been out in LA this week, putting up with you guys!

Mikey: I know, you could have been hanging out with us. I’m here because of our fans and I’m sticking out for them. You should come out. You should just come out.

Andrew: [sighs] Whatever.

Mikey: You know what? You should come out for October 13th and hang out with me on my birthday.

Andrew: No, no, no, no.

Mikey: Oh.

Andrew: Sorry, I don’t have a life. I don’t do anything.

Mikey: Oh.

[Laura laughs]

Mikey: Okay.

Andrew: So – I didn’t come home from college or anything to do this, so…

Mikey: I’m so delirious right now.

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: I don’t know why.

Andrew: Well, thank you for calling in, Monica.

Caller: All right. Thank you. Oh, can I give a shout-out to my friend?

Andrew: Of course.

Caller: I just want to say hi to Ashley. She’s listening right now. She’s been listening since 12:00 AM, I think. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh wow, awesome.

Laura: Oh wow.

[Caller laughs]

Jamie: That’s impressive…

Caller: Yeah.

Jamie: …considering we started at 12:00 PM.

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Caller: Oh, 12:00 PM. Sorry.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah, I was going to say.

Laura: Hey, you guys…

Caller: Thank you!

Andrew: Bye! Yeah, Laura?

Jamie: Buh-bye!

Laura: Not to cut in here, but we just got an e-mail. Somebody found something on Laura Mallory’s site and it says:

“Announcing His Voice Today Radio Show. His Voice Today with Laura Mallory is going on the air. The new radio show will be featured on the local radio station WIMO Newstalk Radio at…”

At what? It starts on September 1st and it’s airing out of Bethlehem, Georgia.

Andrew: Wow.

Laura: So she’s actually – so we should call into her show.

Andrew: Yeah, I’d be up for that.

[Laura laughs]

Jamie: We should.

Andrew: Maybe there’s a live internet stream that we can…

Laura: Yeah.

Andrew: …listen to.

Laura: She can hang up on us.

Jerry: Send an e-mail about podcasting… [unintelligible]

MuggleCast 112 Transcript (continued)

Ustream Poll Question: Does Andrew Have a Life?

Andrew: Yeah. Lucas calling again for the eightieth time. What’s up?

Caller: Yeah. Actually, I was going to call – I tried calling like thirty seconds ago and I was going to say new poll: Does Andrew have a life? But then someone typed it into the chat, so…

Andrew: I missed it, so we’ll create it now.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Do you think I have a life?

Mikey: Everybody, please say no.

Caller: No, I don’t have one either, so…

Mikey: Everybody, please say no just for the sake of getting Andrew mad.

[Laura laughs]

Andrew: Lucas…

Mikey: Everybody, just say no to Andrew, please.

Andrew: Lucas, you really…

Mikey: It would be that much more funny.

Andrew: Shut up, Mikey!

Mikey: [laughs] No. Everybody, please just say no to Andrew. Just say no just for the sake of it.

Laura: Aww guys, don’t do that. Come on.

Mikey: Even if you think he has one. [laughs]

Laura: We love Andrew.

Andrew: All right. Thanks, Lucas. Glad you think that.

Caller: Yeah, bye.

Mikey: Andrew, look at…

Andrew: I’ll be sure to answer your calls… [unintelligible] [makes raspberry noises]

Mikey: [laughs] Aww, Andrew.

Jamie: Ooh.

Mikey: Aww. See, this is what happens when we all talk to each other.

Jamie: This is what happens when…

Laura: And Katie says:

“Tell Lucas I love him. He’s the best. I am now a Lucas fan girl.”

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: I like his audio quality, but now I don’t like anything else about him.

[Laura laughs]

Fan Encounter at Waterstones Podcast

Andrew: Here’s another frequent caller. Sam, what’s up?

Laura: Hey, Sam.

Caller: Hey.

Laura: Again.

Jamie: What’s up, dude?

Jerry: Hey, Sam.

Andrew: How’s it going?

Caller: It’s fine, thanks. Knackered, but…

Jamie: Now it’s 2:00 AM. How are you holding up?

Caller: Nearly falling asleep.

Jamie: Aww.

Laura: Aww. Are we boring or is it just…

Caller: No, I just…

Laura: Okay.

Caller: …haven’t had much sleep for the past few days.

Laura: Aww, okay.

Andrew: Well, what’s going on?

Laura: What’s up?

[Andrew and Laura laugh]

Jerry: Mikey has met Sam before, I think.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah. We all met him. Yeah, we discussed it earlier.

Laura: Yeah, okay, here’s the thing.

Caller: I’m sorry, I…

Laura: We’ve discussed this on a previous call-in show that I don’t think we ended up using or something like that. And apparently, Sam, you and I met at the Waterstones, but I don’t remember and I feel awful.

Caller: Oh no, it’s all right. You probably met so many people.

Laura: No, no, no, but did we talk? Like, I’m just trying to remember… [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Did we talk?

Mikey: Well, usually – Laura, just so you know, when you meet someone you say hello, so you do converse a little bit.

Laura: Okay…

Mikey: [laughs] I’m so sorry. I couldn’t resist.

Laura: …I’m trying to jog my memory.

Mikey: It was right there. Laura, it was right there, like, “Did we talk?”

Laura: Whatever, Mikey.

Mikey: No, not at all. [laughs]

Laura: Whatever.

Mikey: Oh, I love you guys.

Laura: Hey, I have met a couple of people who for reasons unknown don’t speak when they come up, so just – you never know. So…

Andrew: Oh yeah. No, Sam talked. Sam talked.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Hello?

Jamie: Yeah, I remember it.

Andrew: So all right, thanks for calling in, Sam.

Caller: That’s all right. I’ve quickly got a Jack Bauer joke.

Andrew: Oh, you got a joke? Okay.

Jamie: Yeah.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Go for it.

Caller: Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer’s mind. Now he’s sitting in a wheelchair.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Ooh.

Jamie: That is a little inappropriate but thank you very much.

Andrew: Why is it inappropriate?

Jamie: Because – come on, Andrew. I don’t have to spell it out to you… [unintelligible]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: …because I have to type it.

Andrew: Okay. Well, type it to me soon. But anyway we’re going to take a break. We’re going to take an extended break. We’re going to take – let’s see, a roughly twelve-minute break or so.

Mikey: Andrew, what music are you going to play?

Andrew: We’re actually going to kick it off with “Elevation” by U2.

Mikey: Oh.

Andrew: Then we’re going to go into “Save Ginny Weasley,” then “Short People,” then The Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated.” So…

Jamie: [singing] “I wanna be sedated.”

Mikey: Are you not going to play the song I really want you to play?

Andrew: What song?

Mikey: I think everyone – Jackson 5, “ABC.”

Andrew: Oh, I forgot about that. I never downloaded it.

Mikey: Dude…

Andrew: Okay, we still got time. I’ll type it in right now. Jackson 5 – I’m searching on iTunes – ABC. Okay, there we go.

Mikey: Come on, it’s little Michael. It’s little Michael!

Andrew: Searching, Buy Now, just paid my dollar. Okay, we’re good to go.

Jerry: [singing] “ABC.”

Mikey: [singing] “It’s easy as 123.”

Andrew: Thanks, Sam, for calling in.

Mikey: Come on, guys. I’ll sing it.

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: Okay. Well, we’re going to take a little break. Once we come back, still have a few things planned this evening. We have three hours left. Thank you to everyone who’s been watching us this whole time. We’ll get to the poll results once we’re back. Also, we got some more Book 7 discussion coming up. Also…

Jamie: More vegetables as well.

Andrew: [laughs] Some more vegetables, of course, and we have a – well, a friend of mine is going to be coming on in a little bit to discuss all of his problems with the Harry Potter series. He’s not a fan like the rest of us, so that’ll be pretty interesting.

Jamie: It’s going to be an interesting, unique viewpoint.

Andrew: It definitely will be. For now though, “Elevation” from U2. We’ll be back in, oh, fifteen minutes or so.

Laura: Buh-bye!

[“Elevation” by U2 plays]

Listener Calls: Ticket to J.K. Rowling’s Book Reading

Caller: [laughs] Yeah, I promise that the ticket is actually…

Andrew: Well, congrats on winning!

Caller: I know! I’m…

Andrew: That’s very exciting.

Caller: [laughs] Yeah, definitely. All right…

Andrew: No, no, no, I – people in the chat are saying I don’t believe Chloe. I believe Chloe.

Caller: [laughs] Yeah, I’m not going around fooling everyone.

Andrew: Yeah. No, no, this is not…

Caller: I don’t kid when it comes to J.K. Rowling.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Andrew and Jerry laugh]

Andrew: Okay. Well…

Mikey: That’s awesome.

Andrew: Well, thanks for calling, liar, and I’ll talk to you soon.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: I’m just kidding.

[Andrew and Jerry laugh]

Andrew: I’m just kidding.

Caller: Yeah, I was going to say, you’re going to lose your ticket pretty quickly. [laughs]

Andrew: No, I’m kidding. I believe you. It was just funny timing.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Just funny timing. But – okay. Well, cool. Keep me updated.

Caller: Definitely.

Andrew: If you do want to take me. I’m not trying to force you.

Caller: Oh no, I just wanted to reach out and…

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: If it’s a possibility.

Andrew: Cool.

Caller: Because to tell you the truth, I would rather go with you than go with my parents anyway.

Andrew: Yeah, I’m more fun.

[Caller and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: Yeah, you are.

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: I’ll take you to all the nightclubs or – wait, that’s weird.

Caller: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: Okay. Awkward now.

Caller: I’ve got another four years to go there.

Andrew: [laughs] And me too. Okay, so…

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Okay, I’ll talk to you soon then. Stay in touch! Call me!

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Not my real number though.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: That will just annoy me. [laughs] Okay, bye.

Caller: [laughs] Bye!

Andrew: Bye! Okay. Do you guys believe her? I mean, I don’t want to put the effort in if…

Mikey: I think so.

Jerry: I do. I mean…

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: If it’s not true…

Jerry: Why would she lie?

Mikey: …it’s kind of a mean joke.

Jerry: Yeah.

Ustream Poll Question: Do The Listeners Have a Life?

Andrew: Lucas keeps calling me, but I refuse to answer his call because he thinks I have no life. Sorry, Lucas.

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: I don’t have time for you anymore. To heck with you.

Jerry: Andrew, though, I think that people agree with him, unfortunately. [unintelligible] percent of the people. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh yeah, let’s take a look at the poll here. You know, it’s amazing. I put all this time into the show with my fellow co-hosts for you guys and 319 people say I don’t have a life, 218 people do.

Mikey: Haha! I win! [laughs]

Andrew: So – here, I’m going to make a new poll.

Mikey: Oh no.

Andrew: Do the listeners have a life?

[Jerry laughs]

Mikey: Yes, they do.

Andrew: Option one: No. Option two: No. Start poll.

Mikey: [laughs] Wow!

Andrew: Okay, go ahead! Go ahead! Vote away! Let’s see who wins this one.

Mikey: All right, everybody, nobody vote at all. Just leave it completely…

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah right.

Mikey: Everybody, don’t vote at all.

Andrew: Too late. Too late. The votes are coming in by the second.

Mikey: Oh.

Jerry: We’re too late. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh gosh, I’m annoying so many people today. [laughs]

Mikey: [laughs] And I’m not. Come on, that’s what we do.

Andrew: Well, yeah. I know.

[Jerry laughs]

Mikey: That’s where our love comes in. So you’re going to come to my birthday, right?

Andrew: If you pay for my flight out there.

Mikey: Oh, you have a free airline flight. We know this.

Listener Jokes: The Dark Lord

Andrew: I’m saving that for New Years though. Diego!

Caller: Hey, how are you doing?

Andrew: What’s going on?

Caller: Nothing, just hanging around here listening to you guys.

Andrew: Cool. Where are you calling from?

Caller: Montero, Mexico.

Andrew: Mexico, wow. That’s awesome.

Caller: I heard what you said earlier.

Andrew: What’s that? Oh, I’m sorry about that.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Happy Independence Day!

Caller: Thanks.

Andrew: Yay! So [laughs] what’s on your mind today?

Caller: Well, I got a joke, actually.

Andrew: Oh, a joke. Jamie? Ready for the joke?

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Where does Jamie keep going?!

Jerry: I think he’s falling asleep.

Andrew: What a bad podcaster.

Jerry: [unintelligible]

Andrew: Just runs off and think this is, like, not alive. Okay, go ahead. We’ll listen to the joke.

Caller: It’s actually a Harry Potter joke, it’s: how many Voldemorts are needed to light a wand?

Andrew: How many?

Caller: None. He’s the Dark Lord.

Andrew: [laughs] Pun! You guys didn’t get it?

Mikey: Huh? I’m sorry, I was…

Andrew: How many Voldemorts does it take to light a wand? Zero because he’s too dark. Something like that. That wasn’t the exact wording. Get it? Well, I liked your joke, Diego.

Mikey: That’s like on the level of “How many Quidditch players does it take to light a wand?”

Andrew: How many? I don’t get it.

Mikey: Seven: six to work really hard for it, and then one for the Seeker to take all the glory.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: It’s a really bad joke, but it’s Harry Potter related, so it’s fun.

Andrew: Right, right.

Mikey: And I’m not saying your joke – well no, I am saying your joke was bad. It’s on the same level – I love those jokes. It’s kind of along the way of “Make like a tree and leave,” which I love.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Those are just great little jokes.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: On the ones you get on the popsicles, too. Those are fun.

Andrew: Oh, I love those. I love those, yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, those are great.

Andrew: Okay. Well, thank you, Diego, for calling in!

Mikey: Bye, Diego.

Andrew: See ya!

Mikey: It was – yeah.

Listener Calls: Ustream Poll Suggestion

Andrew: That was fun. Bobby?

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Caller: Hey!

Andrew: Hi! How are you doing?

Caller: Hold on, let me turn this down.

Andrew: Oh, thank you. Concerned caller, I like that.

Caller: I have to say hi to Kim from earlier or she’s going to kill me.

Andrew: Oh, where are you calling from?

Caller: Leeds in England.

Andrew: Very cool, very cool.

Jerry: Whereabouts?

Andrew and Caller: Leeds.

Jerry: Oh, Leeds. Cool.

Caller: And since she was screaming so much, she forgot to tell you she wants you to play Spice Girls.

Andrew: Oh man, I didn’t even think of Spice Girls. Yeah.

Mikey: Why did we not think of Spice Girls? Really?

Andrew: Good point. Okay.

Caller: And we want a “How drunk is Ben?” poll.

Andrew: What?!

Mikey: What? Ben doesn’t drink alcohol. He’s under 21.

Andrew: What? I don’t understand what you’re talking about. It’s uncalled for. Ben was at a football game and he was a little excited about the game. And he did his Albus Dumbledore impression. He’s not going to appreciate all these accusations. So anyway…

Mikey: I do. I appreciate every single one of them.

Listener Calls: Most Anticipated Scene in Deathly Hallows Movie

Andrew: Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you, Bobby, for calling in. That was fun. And let’s see, we’re just going to keep taking callers now for the next hour. Here’s someone. I like this guy’s name. Andrew?

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Caller: Hey, how’s it going?

Andrew: Hey. Can you mute your Ustream?

Mikey: Echo.

Caller: Can you hear me?

Andrew: Yeah, we hear you. What’s up?

Caller: Oh, not a lot. How are you guys doing? Are you hanging around?

Andrew: No, but – sort of.

Caller: Are you starting to get tired now?

Andrew: [laughs] Huh?

Caller: Are you starting to get tired?

Andrew: Yeah. Well, everyone is dying on me. Jamie straight up – I think he actually died.

Mikey: I’m still here.

Jerry: [unintelligible]

Andrew: It’s getting late where Jerry is.

Jerry: I worked an eight-hour shift at work and then came home and now here I am. Aren’t I?

Caller: Well, cool. I’ve kind of been listening in and out of the chat all day, so…

Andrew: Oh cool.

Caller: It’s nice to see that you guys are doing this.

Andrew: Well, good. Are you enjoying it?

Caller: Yeah, quite a bit. Quite a bit.

Andrew: Okay. Good, good. So what’s going on? [laughs]

Caller: [laughs] Not a lot. Have you talked about the movies yet?

Andrew: A little bit, but do you have a question about it? We need to get some…

Caller: It’s like what do you – what kind of stuff are you looking forward to in the seventh movie?

Andrew: Oh, we actually did talk about this earlier. One thing I said I was definitely looking forward to was the final scene where Harry is confronting Voldemort, addressing him as Tom, because I think Dan is ready to portray that sort of – to act out that scene very, very well. Thanks to his role in Equus where he’s one unhappy camper.

Caller: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I actually got to – I also got to see him on stage over in London. I went over to London in February, I think. Yeah, back in February, and he was very good.

Andrew: Oh awesome. Do you agree with my theory that Jo went to see Equus, then after seeing Equus, wrote that scene in the book where he has to strip down to hop into the pond?

Caller: [laughs] It’s possible. It’s very possible.

Andrew: I’m pretty sure that’s what happened because I can’t think of another reason why she would do that.

Jerry: She might just want to see Dan topless again.

Andrew: That’s what I’m saying.

Caller: Yeah, maybe.

Mikey: Maybe. Just maybe.

Caller: Didn’t she sort of – Dan said something like that, didn’t he? Didn’t he say that she had told him – didn’t she come backstage after the performance [unintelligible] scenes like that for him.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s probably something like that. Yeah, something like that. Jamie, welcome back.

Jamie: Thank you.

Andrew: Thanks for running off without telling us.

Jamie: Sorry, I went to the bathroom. I didn’t want to interrupt the flow.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Jamie: No pun intended.

[Andrew and Jerry laugh]

Andrew: Okay, Andrew. Well, thanks for calling in.

Caller: Oh, no problem. Thanks for… [unintelligible]

Andrew: Thanks. Okay, no problem. See ya. Andrew Walker, ladies and gentlemen. That was Andrew Walker.

Jerry: I’m just looking forward to the huge bedroom kiss with Harry and Ginny. They better leave that in.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh yeah.

Jerry: I’m a big fan of the snogging thing.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: What are you talking about?

Andrew: The seventh film.

Jamie: Oh okay.

Listener Calls: Epilogue Scene

Andrew: Yeah. Mickel? Michael?

Caller: Hey.

Andrew: Hey.

Caller: Hey. It’s Mika. Actually I’m a girl.

Andrew: Oh, Mika. Oh sorry, I was just reading your Skype name, trying to act like I’m good at this.

Caller: Yeah, that’s cool.

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Andrew: What’s going on? Hey, can you mute your Ustream?

Mikey: Echo.

Caller: My username?

Andrew: No, your Ustream.

Mikey: The…

Caller: Oh. I don’t know. I just turned into this thing…

Andrew: Oh.

Caller: …so I don’t really know how.

Jerry: Echo.

Andrew: Well yeah, turn off your feed so we can’t hear ourselves.

Caller: Ahhh, okay.

Andrew: You know what I’m saying?

Caller: There you go. Is that okay?

Andrew: That’s better. So what’s on your mind today?

Caller: So I just wanted to stand up in defense of the epilogue.

Andrew: In defense of the epilogue?

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: Because – I mean, I hear everyone saying about it being like fan fiction-y or whatever, but – and I felt like that the first time I read it. But the second time I read it, I was – it just felt so real and rich and emotional, and I really felt like Jo just had – she knew exactly where everybody was and she just wanted to show us this little picture in the sunset, just so we have this big idea. And I think everybody is being a little harsh about it, so…

Jerry: I completely agree.

Caller: Thanks.

Jerry: I for one am very, very happy with the epilogue. I had exactly the same feeling, that she couldn’t…

Caller: Thank you.

Jerry:[unintelligible] because it’s one little scene that she did it in a way that’s kind of true to the characters, I think. Apart from the names.

Andrew: I’m hoping that – I’ll only accept the epilogue if Jo narrates it in the movie, because that would be sweet.

Jamie: Yeah, now that would be…

Caller: That would be awesome.

Jerry: Ooh. That would be amazing.

Andrew: As we discussed earlier in the show. Yeah.

Caller: Yeah, that would be really…

Andrew: Yeah. So, thanks for calling in!

Caller: Sure. No problem.

Andrew: Okay. Bye!

Jamie: Bye!

Andrew: Oops, cut her off.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Apparently, I already have a call with this user.

Jamie: What’s going on?

Andrew: Nothing’s going on.

Jamie: What are we going through?

Andrew: Nothing. Show’s over.

Jamie: Show’s over, aye?

Andrew: No, I’m kidding.

Jamie: Aww.

Andrew: Add to conference. Molly!

Caller: Hey.

Andrew: Hey. Is this “Mollyfoxsims” Molly?

Caller: No.

Andrew: Oh. See – okay, that’s so weird because your Skype name is Mollychris, so what was I supposed to assume, co-hosts? [laughs]

Mikey: I know, I agree. I agree.

Andrew: [laughs] And from California.

Mikey: Except her name is Mollyfoxsims.

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Andrew: No, but I thought…

Mikey: And this is…

Andrew: Hey, can you mute your Skype thing? Your Ustream?

Caller: Okay, I just did.

Andrew: Okay, thanks. Actually no, you didn’t. Liar.

Caller: I didn’t?

Andrew: No, I still hear ourselves.

Caller: Oh. Well, I don’t know how to do it. Wait. Okay, I got it.

Andrew: Okay. No, you’re lying again.

Caller: No, I did.

Andrew: No, I still hear myself.

Mikey: I hear myself, too. Echo.

Caller: You can hear that?

Jerry: Molly, it’s the regular feedback.

Andrew: That call was weird. Yeah, so that was weird. Okay. Do you guys want to move on to some book discussion? Or are you guys going to poop out? Don’t want you guys to poop out.

Mikey: Book discussion? We can do more book discussion if you want, but I think we’ve discussed that quite a bit today. I think…

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: You know what? This is what I’m going to say, is let’s have a listener challenge, let’s have the fan tell us what they want us to talk about.

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: Yeah.

MuggleCast 112 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: Fans Still Have Chance to Win Tickets to J.K. Rowling’s Book Reading

Andrew: Lucas, are you here to apologize to me?

Caller: Yeah. I’m sorry.

Andrew: That didn’t sound very sincere.

Caller: Well, I don’t have a life either.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Lucas, say it like you mean it.

Caller: But yeah, I’m going to kind of defend Jackie, I think it was, that called in and said she’d give you a ticket. You guys called her a liar.

Andrew: You mean Chloe?

Caller: Or Chloe.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: I don’t know who it was, but…

Andrew: I believe her.

Caller: Yeah. Well, for people who don’t believe her, when I won tickets to it – or my sister did – we called in to see if my sister can get me tickets which she can’t but…

Andrew: Mhm.

Caller: But yeah, we called in. They’re like if people can’t make it to it then they’ll call more people. So…

Andrew: Oh interesting. So people still have a chance.

Caller: Yeah, you still have a chance for a while, I think.

Andrew: Oh.

Caller: So…

Andrew: Okay, cool. Cool.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, thanks for adding that.

Jamie: That’s cool.

Andrew: And – I still don’t believe your apology. I don’t really appreciate it.

Caller: Okay.

Andrew: Let’s check the polls, speaking of that. The question was: Do the listeners have a life? Option one: No. 288 votes. Option two: No. 151 votes. So, choice one no is clearly the leader right now. And we’ll see how that goes. Lucas, what should we talk about? Give us something.

Caller: Horcruxes?

Andrew: [laughs] Horcruxes? We only talked about that a million times.

Discussion: The Dark Side in Star Wars

Jamie: [laughs] Horcruxes. Okay, I have a question. I have a question.

Andrew: Okay.

Jamie: Now, in Star Wars, Mikey – and I think you’ll agree – the Dark Side is not – well, I don’t think the Dark Side is necessarily an evil side because I read some descriptions about it and stuff like that, and it says it’s a side of passion of lust and fiery sort of emotions and stuff like that. And if you submit to the Dark Side, you aren’t necessarily a bad…

Mikey: No, no, no, no. See, right there, the fiery passion – Anakin scene is like, “We’re meant to love and care, and by having love – loving somebody, he’s going down – he’s just doing that perfect and all that.” Well, what happens is by doing that type of emotion because – the only wrong love is great and all, but it is a very intense emotion and by doing a forbidden love and by being anger, fear, aggression – all those things lead to the Dark Side – doesn’t mean that those items themselves are the Dark Side.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: It’s just that once you start down that path, to come back from it is very difficult. Basically, the difference between the Light Side and the Dark Side of the Force – and again, I know I’m just going to a Star Wars tangent. It’s not a Star Wars podcast but I’m explaining to Jamie – is everything on the Light Side of the Force – everything living, they get their energy, they get the power of the Force, from all living things around them, right?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Whereas the Dark Side is destruction, so they get more power by destroying things, killing, and stuff like that. So…

Jamie: But Mikey…

Mikey: Mhm?

Jamie: …surely you can be a passionate person and – I mean, I would – I’m not going to lie. The Dark Side, from my opinion, is – I don’t blame everyone from submitting to it. I know I try my absolute best to remain light. But when Yoda has that talk with Anakin and says you can’t feel for anyone, you can’t sort of love anyone, but you can, I’d be like, well, I can understand why people submit to the Dark Side. Although obviously I’d be the best Jedi that ever lived. To be the most powerful one, I won’t submit to the Dark Side.

Mikey: No, I totally agree. It’s like you can, but it’s a very fine line you have to walk.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Because basically there’s a fine line between love and hate. There really is, especially when you – the one thing I love about Star Wars that I think Harry Potter shows a little bit and I think comic books do that a lot is with great power comes great responsibility, the Spiderman line…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: …that everyone says. But with this great power, you have such a temptation to use it for your own personal gain. And we see that in Harry Potter that Voldemort’s lust for power and everything like that.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: And you’re walking such a fine line, having passion.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: And so when you – in the Old Republic’s view, Jedi were taught to actually go ahead and control this so they’re very – if you look at Episode 1, I think a lot of people didn’t like it, that weren’t Star Wars fans…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: …because they didn’t understand why Liam Neeson and – oh my gosh. This big fish. Ewan McGregor. [laughs] Gosh, it slipped my mind for a second!

Jamie: [laughs] Ewan McGregor, yeah.

Mikey: The actor that played – Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor who played Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan, why they were so kind of passive, they were stoney-faced – so you see them go through all these big things and they never had the emotion that Luke Skywalker had. Well, why did Luke have this emotion and these two guys didn’t…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: …was because they were taught to control their emotions that way so that way they’re not tempted to go down to the Dark Side, whereas Luke – he grew up as a young boy. He was looking for adventure and Yoda tells him, “Adventure – a Jedi seeks not these things,” you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah. But…

Mikey: And it’s like that’s the difference…

Jamie: No, I see what you mean…

Mikey: Hmm?

Jamie: I see what you mean, but why is not being in control of your emotions a bad thing?

Mikey: No, it’s fine. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it helps Luke out.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: It helps Luke out. It’s just that you got to take into consideration the passion and emotions – because it’s such a fine line.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Over thousands and thousands of years of teaching, they see that people that are very passionate have a higher risk…

Jamie: Oh okay.

Mikey: …of going to the Dark Side. Because it’s such an easier path because instead of giving life and protecting and loving everyone and really being a protector of good…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: …all you have to do is kill things and you grow stronger. Destroy things, be mean. And you see it in Voldemort, it’s the drive for power, more power, more power. And that’s what you get, is the minute you realize just by striking down – best example is Revenge of the Sith. You see Anakin Skywalker who’s gone to the Dark Side. Why? Because he wants to save Padme, the person he loved.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: But he’s doing this all for his right reasons but now it’s become selfish, so much that he kills a bunch of little kids in trying to save one person, which by all means try to save that person, but you’re doing it in a completely wrong way. And in fact it’s his actions that lead to her death, and I think that’s one of the nice things that Star Wars has.

Jamie: So do you mean if he’d stopped before he went that one step too far, he could have used the Dark Side stuff while still remained in the…

Mikey: No, I’m not saying he couldn’t have gone. It’s just – people can go to the Dark Side and come back, and perfect example is Darth Vader does come back from the Dark Side at the end of Return of the Jedi. Luke says, “I will not fight. You’re my father. I will not fight you.” He’s telling him “There’s still good in you. I’m forcing you to kill me.” And basically it brings Anakin Skywalker who was dead to Darth Vader back from the Dark Side. And it’s the same thing with any superhero, Harry Potter, any of that stuff, it’s with those awesome powers they have, whether it be magic, Spiderman’s abilities…

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey:Star Wars and the Force, whatever, every single good guy and bad guy, there’s a fine line. To make a bad guy a really great character – if we take a look at Voldemort, Snape, and Harry, they all have a similar story. Remember I compared them to salsa?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Mild, medium, and hot.

Jamie: Yeah, yeah.

Mikey: They all have a similar story, but it’s the line and kind of where they came from – it’s what caused them to cross that line, you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah, I see.

Mikey: Harry again could have gone to the Dark Side, especially in Order of the Phoenix. He was all caps Harry, you know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: He was so close to – he could have broken down and given up. And really, no one would have blamed him.

Jamie: Completely, yeah.

Mikey: Really, no one would have blamed him for giving up. It’s that point. But he had what it took to go away from it. And same thing with the Dark Side and the Light Side at least in Star Wars, is the Light Side is everything around you is what gives you your energy.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: It surrounds us, it binds us, it penetrates us from the Dark Side…

Andrew: You are such a dork! You’re a dork! You’re a dork! You’re a dork!

Mikey: I am a dork! I’m a dork!

Andrew: You’re a dork!

Jamie: Andrew…

Andrew: Let’s move on from Star Wars now, please.

Jamie: …we’ve been podcasting for nine and a half hours.

Mikey: Did I not tie it into Harry Potter? Did I not tie it into Harry Potter, okay?

Andrew: No. [laughs] Let’s take a call now!

Mikey: Oh guys…

Andrew: [laughs] Hello, foreign caller.

Mikey: I’m sorry. I’m not talking about Star Wars anymore.

Listener Calls: Pets Named After Harry Potter Characters

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: How are you doing?

Caller: I’m fine.

Andrew: You got a question about Harry Potter or something?

Caller: Yeah. Do you name any pets you might have after Harry Potter characters?

Andrew: [laughs] That’s a funny question. No. Although somebody I know has named a pet after Harry Potter. Or one of the characters. Anyone know if…

Jerry: I’ve got a friend who called their dog Mollywobbles.

Andrew: Mollywobbles?

Jamie: Okay, that…

Jerry: Yup.

Jamie: I had two guinea pigs called Harry and Ron. Ron died unfortunately.

Andrew: Aww.

Jamie: But Harry has like white streak in his long-haired mane so it’s like a lightning bolt, so that’s why he’s Harry.

Andrew: Someone’s got a cat named Lily, a parakeet named Luna. “My frogs are named Trevor and Luna.” I’m just reading these off the chat right now.

Caller: Also…

Andrew: “Friend’s cat is Mrs. Norris.” That’s funny. Yeah, caller?

Listener Calls: J.K. Rowling Making Book 7 Bets

Caller: Also, do you think that J.K. Rowling might have bet on who died in the last book?

Andrew: Sorry, if…

Jerry: She’d make a fortune.

Andrew: [laughs] If J.K. Rowling bet who died? That would be terrible. I think J.K. Rowling has higher standards than betting on who’s going to die in her books. [laughs] She’s got enough money.

Jamie: She’s made so much money.

Jerry: [unintelligible] does she? [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, she’s got enough money I think to not have to do that. That would be very – that’s like – there was a story in the US a couple of weeks ago where a referee was betting on basketball games and they were the games that he was…

Jamie: Referees.

Andrew: Yeah, that he refereed. It’s a genius plan.

Jerry: [unintelligible] isn’t it? You just can’t do it.

Mikey: Yeah, it is genius, I must say.

Andrew: [laughs] That’s a great plan. I’m going to start betting on what happens on each episode of MuggleCast.

[Jerry laughs]

Andrew: I guess I’ve said too much. But – all right. So yeah, thanks for calling in!

Caller: Okay, bye.

Andrew: Goodnight.

Mikey: Bye.

Andrew: It’s time to start saying goodnight to people instead of bye. We’re entering…

Jamie: I agree.

Listener Calls: Why Dumbledore Would Beat Yoda in a Fight

Andrew: …late hour of MuggleCast here. Just a quick public service announcement: If you already called in, please don’t call in again. Give other listeners a chance to call in and talk to us. What’s up, Camelio?

Jamie: What an awesome name.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: Hello?

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: Good evening, caller.

Jamie: Hey.

Caller: Hey, what’s up?

Andrew: Yeah, aren’t you that Australian guy?

Caller: It’s actually almost – [laughs] maybe.

Andrew: [laughs] Maybe. You can admit to it.

Jamie: You might be Australian.

Caller: [laughs] I’ve got to say, I’ve been watching on this for so long. Mikey?

Mikey: Yes?

Caller: By extension, Dumbledore would own Yoda.

Mikey: Aww.

Jamie: I agree.

Mikey: Why is this? Give me a reason.

Caller: All right, ready? All right.

Mikey: All right.

Caller: Sidious beat Yoda, right? Technically. In the third movie.

Mikey: All right. Okay, technically.

Caller: Yeah? All right? And Darth Vader beat Sidious in Return of the Jedi.

Mikey: Okay.

Jamie: Ahhh, I like this logic. I like this logic a lot.

Caller: Okay? Wait. All right. And Luke beat Vader.

Mikey: Aww.

Caller: Technically. He cut his arm off.

Mikey: All right.

Caller: Wait, wait. If Luke is Harry, then Dumbledore would totally own Harry.

Mikey: Okay.

Caller: That is my explanation.

Jamie: Dumbledore would own Harry any day.

Mikey: Aww.

Caller: We all know Dumbledore hands down would beat Harry in a duel, no worries.

Mikey: All right. All right. Okay.

Caller: That’s my explanation. Yeah?

Mikey: Sure. Why not?

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: I’m not going to argue. I see the logic there, but it’s…

Caller: No, I see it. It’s a bit cheesy.

Mikey: You’re retching a little. But you know what? It’s all right. It’s all right. You know why? Because I definitely think it’s – you went the extra mile to figure it out, so I’m – good job.

Andrew: Hey, what time is it there in Australia?

Caller: 11:37 AM.

Andrew: Wow.

Caller: I’ve been here since 2:00.

Andrew: Wow! Listening to this?

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Aww, good for you. That’s dedication.

Caller: All right, could you do me a favor and answer Alyssa’s call? Because she’s been calling since 12:00.

Andrew: Alyssa? There’s been so many people calling from 12:00.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Alyssa. Okay, I’ll keep an eye out just because you’re funny.

Caller: Thanks a lot.

Andrew: But here’s another caller right now – no problem – David Sydney. [laughs] That’s funny because we had someone from – oh, I just hung up on him. I’m a fool. [laughs] Okay. Thanks, Camelio, for calling.

Caller: All right. Buh-bye!

Andrew: Hopefully I’m pronouncing his name right. That would be kind of embarrassing.

Jerry: Camillo?

Andrew: Camillo? Camilla?

Jerry: Camilla?

Listener Calls: Epilogue & Draco’s Wife

Andrew: Again, anyone who’s called earlier, please do not call again. Let people who have been calling – let’s try David again. David, what’s going on?

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Andrew: Please mute your…

Callers: Hi!

Andrew: Hey! Owww. Mute your Ustream.

Caller: Hi! [unintelligible] and we’re so excited! And I want to shout-out to Ritza and Molly.

Caller 2: Do you guys have an MNI account?

Andrew: Have a what account?

Caller: [laughs] MuggleNet Interactive.

Andrew: No, we don’t.

Caller: Okay. And about the epilogue, I also liked the epilogue. I didn’t think it was her best writing, but that’s not what she’s about. She does the after-scenes and the magic and everything. But it was just really nice to know that they were – oh my God, I’m so excited. [laughs] And…

Caller 2: Who do you think Draco’s wife was?

Jerry: [unintelligible] presumably.

Andrew: Sorry, what did you say? I’m sorry. What did you say?

Caller: Who do you think Draco’s wife is?

Caller 2: Did he marry Pansy?

Andrew: He probably did marry Pansy.

Caller: Like why wouldn’t she say that?

Andrew: Well, J.K. Rowling didn’t say a lot of things about what happened after Book 7.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah. So…

Caller: But I love the fact that Umbridge gets arrested.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, me too. But hey, we got a lot of people calling so we’re going to let you go.

Caller: And also, I’m a Pickle Pack member. An original Pickle.

Andrew: Pickles!

Jamie: Ooh, an original Pickle.

Caller: Pickles!

Andrew: Yay! [laughs] LOL. ROFL.

Jamie: Thanks for calling in.

Andrew: Thanks! Bye! LOL.

Jamie: Buh-bye.

Andrew: Okay. LOL.

Jamie: Andrew, before you pick one more person, I have vegetable for number ten. And I’m running out of vegetables. I think I’m going to have to Wikipedia “List of vegetables” so I’m going to pick some exotic new ones from there. But Eric suggested this one. This is vegetable number ten. Pretty – quite a good choice considering we’re coming into October. The pumpkin. The fabled pumpkin.

Andrew: The pumpkin is a vegetable?

Mikey: Is it a vegetable or a fruit?

Jamie: Oh okay, I guess…

Mikey: I have a question. I have a question. Jamie, did you ever use [uses US pronunciation] “tomato”? Because…

Jamie: No.

Jerry: You mean [uses UK pronunciation] “tomato”?

Jamie: I think we’d get a million e-mails saying, “No, it’s a fruit!”

[Jerry laughs]

Jamie: “It’s a fruit! It’s a fruit! It’s a fruit!”

Jerry: Yeah.

Mikey: Because somebody said that that’s a fruit in the chat. I’m like, “I know tomato is a fruit. Why are they discussing -” I don’t know. I was confused. Why are they discussing it? Anyway…

Jamie: Pumpkin, anyway.

Jerry: Can I say very quickly…

Jamie: This is my show. It’s a vegetable.

Mikey: Okay. That’s cool then.

Jamie: Shoot, Jerry.

Jerry: Can I very quickly say [pronounces “yog-urt”] yogurt? [unintelligible] say yogurt. I don’t know why.

Mikey: [pronounces “yo-gurt”] Yogurt?

Jerry: [pronounces “yog-urt”] Yogurt. Yeah. [pronounces “yo-gurt”] Yogurt, [pronounces “yog-urt”] yogurt. However you want it.

Andrew: Yeah, it’s [pronounces “yo-gurt”] yogurt.

Mikey: It’s go-gurt. I like go-gurt.

Jamie: [laughs] Go-gurt.

Listener Calls: Future of the Harry Potter Fandom

Andrew: Go-gurt. Hey, let’s take another call right now.

[Prolonged silence]

Andrew: La la la. Here’s someone who’s been calling for a while. Hey, Sam.

Caller: Hey, what’s up?

Andrew: Not much.

Caller: Oh wait, hold on. I’ve got to mute my thing real fast.

Andrew: Oh, thank you. Concerned caller.

Caller: Okay, good. There it is.

Andrew: I couldn’t even hear you. Thank you.

Caller: There it is.

Andrew: There is is! Got it! In the words of Mason.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Andrew: Whoa. Owww. So what’s going on?

Caller: Nothing. I just got back from some barbecue. I was out for a while. I was listening earlier, so…

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: And got any Harry Potter questions or stuff? We want to talk Harry Potter.

Caller: I’m just kind of depressed that the whole thing is over. Like, I was always checking the news every day on MuggleNet and after the book now, it’s like… [pauses]

Andrew: Go ahead. Yeah. I mean, it’s not really over.

Caller: We still have stuff to look forward to, but…

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: I mean, what a lot of people have been saying to me – people outside of this fandom – “So it’s all over. What are you doing now? How much longer is MuggleCast lasting?” And I say to these people, “Well, I like to look at it this way: we have two more movies coming out, a theme park [laughs] that’s going to be opened.”

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: What else?

Caller: The encyclopedia.

Andrew: The encyclopedia. Thank you.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: And just all this other Harry Potter stuff that’s still going on. The fandom is hardly over. The news is hardly over. Then we got the DVDs, we got – stuff like that. [laughs]

Caller: It’s just going to go slower and that’s what I – people don’t like that.

Andrew: Exactly, exactly.

Jamie: And also, we’re fans of Jo Rowling as well as Harry Potter, and she’s a writer and she knows she’s a writer and we know she’s a writer. And I doubt Harry Potter is going to be the last thing she does.

Caller: Yeah, she’s just not going to like it because anything else that comes out is going to be compared to Harry Potter and probably won’t be as good. I mean, she’s a great writer…

Andrew: What?

[Mikey laughs]

Caller: …but I don’t think she can produce anything as good as Harry Potter.

Andrew: Yeah, do you think she would want to produce something as good as Harry Potter? Like, do you think she would want this whole fandom all over again?

Jamie: No, probably not.

Caller: Yeah, I think it’s been…

Jamie: Go on.

Caller: I don’t know if she wants it or not. I mean, she never expected it would be this huge, but…

Andrew: Right.

Caller: I don’t know. It’s the most popular book ever so I mean…

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: Or one of the most popular, I guess.

Andrew: Yeah. Like, she was – she said she loves the fandom. She said it herself. But I just can’t imagine Jo going through this whole thing again or wanting to go through it. I mean, look at how many books are being turned into the movies nowadays.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: If J.K. Rowling came out with another series or a book that was worthy of becoming a movie, all the movie studios would jump on it right away and I just wonder if Jo would really want that again.

Caller: Yeah. Some of the movies – I don’t think the movies have been done great since Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets. Those were done pretty good but the other ones – I guess because of their size.

Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: Well, I agree. So – go ahead.

Caller: No, what were you going to say?

Andrew: No, I had nothing to say.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Caller: Of course.

Andrew: Yeah.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Now, wait a second. Come on, it’s going on – what was that supposed to mean, Sam?

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Sam, do you have anything to say? Oh no, you can’t because I just hung up on you.

Mikey: Wow.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: You’ve gotten kind of mean lately, dude. Seriously.

Andrew: Oh boy. I’m just playing around. I like messing with people. I don’t mean anything I say on the show, so don’t take anything personally. I’m just doing it to be funny.

Mikey: Again – yeah, I think we all become a jerk occasionally on the show.

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: And it’s all a joke.

Andrew: And it’s too easy. It’s too easy to hit the hang up button.

[Jamie and Mikey laugh]

Mikey: Yeah. With great power comes great responsibility.

MuggleCast 112 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: Harry’s Realization of the Elder Wand’s True Allegiance

Andrew: Exactly, and I love great responsibility. How about Reggie? Hi, Reggie.

Jamie: Hey.

Caller: Oh hi.

Andrew: How are you doing?

Caller: I’m sorry, I’m just really excited.

Andrew: Oh no, it’s cool.

Caller: Okay anyway, I just had a question about Harry Potter 7.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: We had this book chat at my school where we discussed books that we read over the summer.

Andrew: Yeah?

Caller: And we were discussing Harry Potter 7 and we were talking about the part where Harry is about to kill Voldemort, and he was explaining all the stuff about the Elder Wand and how it passes its power.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: Yeah. We were just wondering, when did Harry have time to come up with all that stuff? It just seemed like it came out of the blue.

Jamie: Wait, what do you mean?

Caller: I mean, he was doing all this stuff and then all of a sudden he knew how the wand’s power passed between people. All of a sudden.

Jamie: Harry did, you mean?

Caller: Yeah.

Jamie: I think…

Jerry: Intuition, perhaps?

Jamie: I think it was. I think he was – Dumbledore’s words helped him a lot. And I mean, it’s hard to know who’s Dumbledore’s words were if it happened inside his head and all that kind of a thing. But I think he worked it out himself. It’s nice to see him working something out himself after Hermione has been there for him the entire time. I think he just worked out, as Jerry said, through intuition. But anyone else have any ideas?

Andrew: No, I agree with that.

Caller: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I was just wondering. I felt that the whole ending was kind of a little bit rushed in the end because there was so much stuff happening.

Andrew: Yeah. Well, I think it was supposed to have sort of a rushed feel to it. I mean – what are you talking about exactly? “The Battle of Hogwarts” chapter or…

Caller: Yeah. I just think that the – I mean, the middle was kind of just them thinking and then everything happened at the end, I guess. There wasn’t the time, I guess. I don’t know.

Andrew: Oh. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, I just think that whole scene in the book was sort of meant to have a rushed feeling, have sort of like a panicky rushed – by rushed, maybe are you trying to say that she should have taken more time with it? Like, explained it more?

Caller: No. I don’t know, I just – I mean, it happened a lot faster than the rest of the book and so I guess there wasn’t the time to explain a lot of stuff. Like I thought that the whole thing with the Chamber of Secrets was kind of just glanced over, things like that.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: Just taking time and the past were just passed by in a second.

Andrew: Well, yeah. I don’t know. It seems like Jo wanted to include the stuff just to mention it one last time. So like the Chamber of Secrets, for example. [laughs] I think that was sort of a silly addition. And I keep going back to Oliver Wood. [laughs] Stuff like that.

Mikey: Well, no – Chamber of Secrets, no. The big thing is there was a Basilisk there and you need the venom. And that’s how you kill Horcruxes. [laughs]

Andrew: No, but what I’m saying is Ron speaking Parseltongue was stupid. Like that stuff…

Jamie: I agree.

Mikey: Yeah, I don’t know. That I – I don’t know. Because I think it’s like – you can mimic a language. Even though I know it’s like a gift to be able to speak it and maybe understand it, but you can speak a language…

Jamie: That is true.

Mikey: …even if you don’t know what you’re saying. If you hear someone say something in French, Japanese, or whatever, you can try to mimic it. You probably aren’t saying it perfectly pronunciation-wise, but you can mimic it, you know what I mean?

Jamie: I think the understanding as you say is the gift and…

Mikey: Yeah.

Jamie: …the ability to have that affinity with the snakes, which I’m sure Ron wouldn’t possess even if he could…

Mikey: Yeah. And I think the big thing people have to understand is at least – I’m still one hundred percent convinced on this – it’s not necessarily the ability to speak Parseltongue that I think opens the Chamber of Secrets. It’s the fact that they are the heir of Slytherin. Only Slytherin’s heir would be able to open it. And every time the chamber has been open, it’s only been opened by someone who had part of Voldemort’s soul with them. Ginny and the diary, Harry – he had part of Voldemort’s soul in him, he’s a Horcrux – and then they had the – what did they have with them at the time? Ron and Hermione had one of the Horcruxes with them which was – the one that Hermione destroyed. I’m trying to think.

Jamie: The cup.

Mikey: Yeah, they had the cup. So every time it’s opened, it’s – I don’t think it would open if someone was just saying snake-type talking because then anyone would be able to get in if they just knew kind of what it was or they read somewhere what “open” was in Parseltongue. You know what I mean? Or – yeah, in Parseltongue. I think it had a special enchantment for only the heir of Slytherin to open and the big thing they went in was because they need to get it to destroy Voldemort’s soul in the cup. You know what I mean?

Jamie: Yeah, but it just seems like [unintelligible] from a machine – or actually more so that the Fiendfyre scene, that was just too damn…

Mikey: That one was just convenient, I feel. I agree with you on that one. That one was pretty darn convenient. But really – come on, we all love the books still.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah, just let it be. We loved it.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: Nit-picking is not going to help us.

Andrew: Okay, let’s – thanks for calling, Reggie. Thanks for calling.

Caller: Okay. Can I make a shout-out quickly?

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: I just want to make a shout-out to all the Harry Potter fans at my high school… [unintelligible]

Andrew: [laughs] Woo! Now, wait a second. See, the thing about shout-outs is that shouldn’t they be to people who are listening?

Caller: No, actually I think a lot of them are actually listening right now.

Andrew: Oh okay.

Caller: I know that quite a few of them said they were going to listen to this for basically the entire afternoon.

Andrew: Oh okay. Cool. Very cool. Okay. Well, thanks for calling in, Reggie.

Caller: Okay. Bye.

Andrew: Bye!

Jamie: See you later.

Andrew: I’m trying to get Laura in here because…

Mikey: Is she back?

Andrew: Yeah, Laura’s back.

Jamie: Can I apologize for my sort of come-down in terms of talking.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’ve just suddenly died. I don’t know what the hell has happened. I just – something’s happened.

Andrew: [laughs] What happened?

Jamie: [laughs] I apologize. I think I fell over and accidentally swallowed a thousand sleeping pills.

Listener Calls: Is “Bloody Hell” a Swear Word in England?

Andrew: Okay, let’s take another call. Oh, this person has – oh, someone had an interesting name. One second. Oh, here we go. Zoe Wang. Hi, Zoe!

Caller: Hi.

Jamie: Hey.

Andrew: What’s going on?

Jamie: How’s it going?

Caller: I’m good.

Andrew: Where are you calling from?

Caller: Ahhh, Washington.

Andrew: Washington. Ahhh, Washington. Cool. What’s on your mind?

Caller: Well, I actually don’t really have a question about Harry Potter but…

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: Okay. So – I have a question but…

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

[Jamie laughs]

Caller: I was wondering, is “Bloody hell” a swear word in England?

Andrew: Sorry, what’s that?

Jamie: Is “Bloody hell” a swear word?

Caller: Is “Bloody hell” a swear word in England?

Jerry: It’s not a swear word.

Caller: I’ve always wanted to know…

Jerry: It’s just an expression.

Caller: …but I don’t know anyone from England, so…

Jerry: It’s just like an exclamation.

Jamie: It is.

Jerry: It’s like “Oh my God,” “Oh, bloody hell,” “Oh dear.”

Jamie: You probably wouldn’t say it around very young people but…

Jerry: No.

Jamie: …it’s not really. As Jerry said, it’s not really that bad.

Jerry: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah. I mean, you’d say it – like all TV programs would have it, probably, even the very, very – not completely children’s programs but ones that are on daytime TV. God, I’m slurring my words. This is ridiculous. But yeah…

Mikey: Are you that tired?

Jamie: No, I don’t know what happened, Mikey! Come and save me. Mikey B, Mikey B, Mikey B, Mikey B. Where are you? Where are you?

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: I’m right here! I’m right here, guys! I’m right here! I swear!

Jamie: Oh, there you are!

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Oh, there are you guys. Hey, hey, hey. I’m Mikey B! No.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: See, it’s funny, I’m the only one who’s not complaining still.

Jamie: Yeah.

Mikey: Yeah. Well, you have a special kind of personality, Andrew.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay. Well, we should start a new segment on the show, Ask the Brit. Or in this case, Brits.

Jerry: Brits.

Andrew: So, Ask a Brit. Thanks, Zoe, for playing Ask a Brit.

Jamie: Anyone else?

Caller: Okay. Thank you.

Andrew: Okay. Bloody hell.

Mikey: Bloody hell, Harry.

Andrew: Yeah. Harry, your hand’s all sweaty!

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: I’m tempted to call Ben, but I don’t want rumors to start up again.

Jamie: I would leave Ben.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

[Jamie laughs]

Andrew: Let’s call someone who keeps bugging Jerry.

[Jerry laughs]

Listener Calls: Who Would Win in a Fight Between Kreacher and C-3PO?

Andrew: And see what – hi, Suzanne.

Caller: Hi.

Andrew: What’s going on?

Caller: Hold on, I got to mute you guys. Hold on.

Andrew: Oh, thank you. Concerned caller. Concerned caller. Concerned caller.

Caller: Hi, Jerry!

Jerry: Hi, Suzanne.

Andrew: [laughs] You told me you were more excited to see her on the thing.

Jerry: I’m sorry. [in an excited voice] Hey, Suzanne! Wow!

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: So what’s going on?

Caller: Not much. I just wanted to know who do you guys think would win in a fight, C-3PO or Kreacher.

Andrew: Sorry, what was it again? Who or Kreacher?

Caller: Who do you think would win, C-3PO or Kreacher?

Mikey: Oh, Kreacher would totally win. Kreacher would totally win.

Andrew: No, wait a second. Wait a second. Kreacher versus who?

Caller: What?

Andrew: Kreacher versus who?

Caller: C-3PO.

Andrew: C-3PO?

Mikey: From Star Wars.

Andrew: Oh.

Mikey: Again, they bring up the Star Wars thing, so…

Andrew: Yeah. I guess it’s not Mikey’s fault because the callers keep bringing it up.

Mikey: Yeah. See guys, I try to stay away from it when it’s just us, but people bring it up to me.

Andrew: Yeah.

Mikey: But we know Kreacher would win. Come on. He comes out at the end with his bushy ear hairs sticking out all white pus like cotton balls…

[Jamie laughs]

Mikey: …and cleaver to go beat up the bad guys and Death Eaters at Hogwarts. That would be cool.

Andrew: Yes. Yeah. No, I think it would be Kreacher because I’ve never seen Star Wars and I don’t care for C-3P92X, whatever his name is.

Jamie: [laughs] Ooh, Mikey.

Andrew: I’m just saying.

Mikey: Whatever. You know what, Andrew?

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

Andrew: What?

Mikey: Whatever.

Andrew: Tensions flaring here in the eleventh hour.

Mikey: MuggleCast studios. [laughs]

Andrew: Tenth hour. Whatever hour it is. Oh, but hey, we still have 905 listeners right now. Thanks for calling in, Suzanne.

Jamie: That is pretty nice.

Listener Calls: Use of Dementors to Destroy Horcruxes

Andrew: Still have 905 listeners. I don’t know why but they’re still listening. And I’m looking for a call. Here’s Charisa. Hi, Charisa. You’ve been calling in for a while.

Caller: I have.

[Echoing sounds in the background]

Andrew: Yeah, sorry. Huh? Hey, mute your Ustream because we don’t want to hear ourselves.

Caller: I did mute it.

Andrew: Okay, thanks.

Caller: Okay. [unintelligible] So a long time ago you guys were asking about what you thought was going to be in the book but wasn’t.

Andrew: Right.

Caller: And something that I was really shocked that wasn’t in the book was I thought the Dementors were going to have a bigger – a reason why she created them as a character. I thought it was too much of a coincidence that she created characters that suck out souls and then she has Horcruxes that are these objects with souls within them. And she doesn’t use the Dementors in any way to [laughs] get rid of the Horcruxes. I just thought it was such a coincidence and she didn’t use it. I thought – well, what do you guys think about that?

Andrew: Maybe – has there been too much of the Dementors? [laughs]

Mikey: I don’t know. Like, I agree with you. When Ben told me that theory, I really was like, “Wow, that makes perfect sense as something she would do.” And if you guys don’t know what we’re talking about, it’s the theory that Jo introduced characters, the Dementors, that just happened to suck souls out, and Harry has a piece of Voldemort’s soul and he would use a Dementor somehow to get rid of that soul and that’s how he would destroy Voldemort’s soul. It’s this theory that actually convinced me that Harry was a Horcrux.

Caller: Yeah.

Mikey: Even though other people did not and called me crazy for believing them and said, “Mikey, what have you done?”

Caller: Well, I totally thought he was a Horcrux way back when, even before I heard other people thought he was a Horcrux. I’m like, “He has to be. It’s just so obvious.” And I thought the scene, having the Dementors, was such an obvious thing that they had to have more of a reason for being there and for being created than just being something pretty scary, some plot device in third book to have Sirius run away from and Harry learned Expecto Patronum for.

Andrew: Right, right.

Caller: But yeah. So it’s great. Thank you for taking my call. I’ve been listening to you guys forever, and – thanks.

Andrew: No problem. Thank you.

Caller: Good luck. Thanks.

Andrew: Well, thank you. Bye.

Caller: Bye.

Listener Calls: MuggleCast AIM Chat

Andrew: Oh, I cut her off again. So – okay, hold on. Wait, someone is calling me back. You want to apologize for earlier?

Caller: [laughs] Actually, just because everyone keeps forgetting it and everyone is bothering me about it, I want to give a shout-out to the MuggleCast AIM chat.

Andrew: Okay.

Caller: Because they might bother to death. So…

Mikey: The MuggleCast fan chat, is that what it is? The AIM chat?

Caller: Yeah. Not the crazy one.

Mikey: The crazy one? None of them are crazy.

Caller: [laughs] The AIM chat.

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: There’s an AIM chat, too? How many chats are there? There’s like Mebo, there’s Ustream…

Caller: You guys remember…

Andrew: …there’s the MCFCKYCX2…

Caller: [laughs] The originals.

Mikey: [singing] “ABC. It’s easy as 123.”

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: Sorry.

Caller: Hey, we’re the originals.

Mikey: Sorry. Unoriginal song. [laughs]

Andrew: Oh, Mikey, you should have kept doing it. Man, I’m so slow on the uptake!

[“ABC” by Jackson 5 plays]

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: Yeah!

Andrew: Yeah! Come on, everybody!

[Music stops]

Andrew: The sad thing is I’m dancing right now.

[Music continues]

Mikey: [singing] “How to get an A.”

Caller: [laughs] You guys are great.

[Music stops]

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Yeah!

Andrew: Funny! Yay! Jackson 5!

Caller: Hooray!

Mikey: Come on, it’s little Michael, everybody! Little Michael!

Andrew: [laughs] Little Michael.

Mikey: Little Michael. He was a little kid then. He’s like, [singing] “How to get an A.”

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: Come on…

Andrew: Do that again. Say that again.

Mikey: [laughs] I’m not going to record it anymore. You already got it once.

Andrew: No, no, seriously. I didn’t…

Mikey: Because he’s like a high-pitched voice, like, [singing] “How to get an A.”

Andrew: Oh, how to get an A.

Caller: Hey look, the Ustream chat is getting all mad because we’re not talking about them.

Andrew: Oh. Sorry. Well, it’s almost as good as this song.

[“Celebration” by Kool & The Gang plays]

Andrew: Just saying.

Caller and Mikey: [singing] “Celebration!”

Jamie: Can you play something, Andrew?

Mikey: Oh guys, I just got an AIM from somebody.

Andrew: What?

Mikey: I don’t actually know who it is.

Andrew: Who?

Mikey: But SPoT – S-P-lowercase o-T – has a chat, too.

Andrew: Oh.

Mikey: So apparently there’s a lot of chats going on. [laughs]

Caller: Yeah, the AIM chat, MuggleCast fan. That is the best chat to be. It is the original.

Andrew: Oh, that actually is the original. Yeah, you’re right.

Caller: It is. It is.

Phone Call to Ryan Sims

[Phone rings]

Andrew: Yeah. Okay, let me call someone who everyone’s been bugging for me to call.

Caller: Okay.

Andrew: My brother.

Mikey: Are we calling John Noe?

Andrew: No. No, I don’t want to talk to him.

Caller: Hey, who are we calling?

Andrew: Ryan. My brother Ryan.

Mikey: Yay!

Caller: Oh.

Andrew: If he answers.

Caller: Cool.

Andrew: I think he might be – hello?

Ryan Sims: Hello?

Andrew: Oh, Ryan. Good, you answered the phone.

Ryan: Yeah.

Andrew: Yeah, hey. We’re doing the live podcast right now.

Ryan: Yeah.

Andrew: And a couple of your fans wanted you to…

Jamie: Hey, Ryan!

Andrew: …say hi. That was Jamie.

Caller: You are live on the air.

Ryan: Oh, no surprise. No surprise.

Andrew: [laughs] No surprise. No surprise.

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: See, I told you. Andrew, your brother is so much cooler than you. [laughs]

Andrew: [laughs] Listen, now what I’ve learned is that he just goes along – he repeats everything that is said on – what’s the show, Ryan?

Ryan: What show?

Andrew: The Suite Life with Zack and Cody, I think it’s called.

Mikey: Dude!

Ryan: Yeah?

Mikey: Isn’t that such a cool show?

Ryan: No, I don’t repeat everything! Okay?!

Andrew: I was watching that show for about five minutes two weekends ago and basically he just repeats everything that is said on that show.

Ryan: It’s a corny show with bad puns.

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: Okay. You guys, the show is so awesome. Me and Kevin were talking about how cool would it be to live in a hotel.

Ryan: That’d be very sweet.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: That would be amazing!

Jamie: I would love to be in there.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: You would have so much fun, just be like – I would order room service way too often and be like, “Hi, can I get a bottle of water?”

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: Wow.

Caller: Nice stuff. Yeah.

Andrew: Ryan, your number one fan boy, Sam Blum, is on the line now.

Caller: [laughs] Yeah.

Ryan: Awesome.

[Andrew and Caller laugh]

Andrew: Ryan acts like he’s all tough or something. “Awesome! Very cool!”

Ryan: See, I’m going to take over the podcast and everything one day.

Andrew: Uh-huh?

Caller: One day!

Jamie: Yeah…

Caller: Is that your dream?

Jamie: Andrew, who’s going to be the heir to your podcasting empire?

[Caller laughs]

Jamie: It’s going to be Ryan, isn’t it?

Andrew: No, no. I will always – I’m my own heir to the podcasting empire.

Jamie: You’re going to live forever, are you?

Caller: Until the day you die?

Andrew: Yeah. For everyone wondering in the chat – Ryan, everyone thinks you’re really cute. Ryan is actually not in the same house as me right now. He’s down in Ocean City about an hour away from here. Everyone is wondering how old he is. He’s eleven. He’s not nine. He’s eleven.

[Caller and Ryan laugh]

Andrew: And everyone thinks you’re really cute, Ryan. And…

Mikey: Aww.

Caller: Hey, Andrew, everyone is complaining that you’re not answering landlines, so you might want to get on that.

Andrew: [in a silly voice] Okay! Well, sorry, Sam!

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: You know what, Sam? You run the show now. Go ahead.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: Go ahead. Make the calls. Whatever you say, I’ll do. Go ahead.

Caller: [laughs] Talk about Pokemon.

Mikey: No.

Andrew: No, no, no, no, no. I was looking for things like, “Okay, let’s take another caller,” stuff like that.

Caller: Okay, take another call.

Andrew: No, you blew it! You blew it. Sorry. Goodbye, Sam.

Mikey: Let’s take another caller, everybody. We’ll cancel someone from the US landline right now.

Andrew: Yeah. I’m only accepting Skype-in calls right now, so that’s all you landline people.

Mikey: The next five callers will be Skype-in calls so landline people, all right?

Andrew: And nobody is calling in right now. Ryan is still on the line. I don’t know if…

Ryan: I am.

Andrew: You are still on the line. I don’t know if I can…

Mikey: Yeah, that would be why, it’s because you can only receive one call from a landline.

Andrew: But they wouldn’t call – really? Okay.

Mikey: Yeah, because I’ve had that problem before.

Andrew: Okay.

Mikey: Sorry, Ryan.

Ryan: It’s Andrew, yes.

Andrew: Okay. So anything else you want to say, Ryan, before we let you go?

Ryan: Thanks for being my fans and…

[Andrew laughs]

Ryan: …all that good stuff.

Jamie: Awww.

Andrew: Okay.

Ryan: That’s about it.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Ryan: Bye!

Andrew: Bye, Ryan.

Ryan: Bye!

Andrew: Okay. That was adorable. Okay, let’s take some Skype-in calls now. Haven’t gotten any. That’s weird.

[Jamie sighs]

Andrew: What’s the problem, Jamie?

Jerry: [unintelligible]

Jamie: I’m not complaining. Hey, hey, I want to say quickly: In two days, September 17th, Prison Break Season 3 starts up again. Everyone prepare for it, it’s going to be awesome!

Andrew: Ooh.

Jerry: I haven’t got the television… [unintelligible]

Andrew: I see nobody coming in through Skype-in right now, so that would mean the landlines. So…

Mikey: Well wait, let’s wait one more minute. Everybody, give us a call at – what’s the number? Give the number.

Andrew: Yeah, I should do that. 128-206-2442? [laughs] No, that’s wrong. It’s 1-218-20 – yeah, that’s right. 1-218-206-2442. In the United Kingdom, 0-208-144-0677. Okay, we have a caller.

Jamie: Or, Andrew, [emphasis on “if”] if…

Andrew: [emphasis on “if”] If…

Jamie: …you want to send in live text feedback, go to, and send us your e-mails. We’ll be reading them throughout the rest of the show.

MuggleCast 112 Transcript (continued)

Listener Calls: Favorite Prison Break Character

Andrew: Caller, you’re live on MuggleCast.

Caller: Oh my God. Hi!

Andrew: Hi! How are you doing?

Mikey: Hello.

Jerry: Wotcher.

Caller: Hello? Oh, Jamie. Oh my God.

Jamie: Hey, how’s it going?

Andrew: [laughs] And Jerry. That was Jerry, too.

Caller: Hey.

[Caller and Jerry laugh]

Caller: Oh, I’m so excited about the Prison Break thing even though it’s not on in Australia. [laughs]

Jamie: Are you really? Are you really excited about it?

Caller: Yeah. I love Prison Break! [laughs]

Jamie: Oh, do you really?! That is awesome.

Caller: Yeah.

Jamie: Who’s your favorite character?

Caller: Hey?

Jamie: Who’s your favorite character?

Caller: Oh, I don’t know. Michael? [laughs]

Jamie: Of course. Of course he is.

[Caller laughs]

Jamie: That was a stupid question. He’s everyone’s favorite character.

Caller: No, no, no, I like… [unintelligible]

Jamie: I agree with you.

Caller: And I love…

Jamie: He isn’t really a bad person, is he? He’s just…

Caller: No.

Jamie: …one when he got caught up in a – whereas people like “T-Bag,” you know?

Caller: Yeah, yeah. I hate him. [laughs]

Jamie: Andrew, Michael Scofield is awesome. You should watch it because he’s awesome!

Caller: Yeah, he is so good. [laughs]

Andrew: I disagree. But okay.

[Caller laughs]

Andrew: So do you have anything else to add today?

Caller: No. I’m just wondering, are you going to come to Australia at all for a podcast?

Andrew: You never know. You never know.

Caller: [laughs] It’s like no.

Andrew: Yeah, so – well, thank you for calling.

Mikey: I want to go to Australia. I really do.

Andrew: Yeah, me too.

Caller: Yeah, it’s really good. It’s really nice here.

Mikey: The only problem with me going to Australia is I swear I would never stop saying, [singing] “I come from a land down under!”

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: [singing] “Something with a heart full of thunder.”

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: I would just be singing non-stop, it would be so wrong.

Jerry: I’d get beaten up by… [unintelligible]

Mikey: I know.

Caller: [laughs] What about Jamie?

Jamie: Yeah? What about me?

Caller: Would you come to Australia?

Jamie: Go to Australia? I would love to go to Australia. My dream is to have one home in Australia and one in America so I can follow the sun and never hit bad weather again.

Caller: [laughs] Yeah, that’s a good plan.

Jamie: That would be so, so nice. But…

Caller: [laughs] Yeah.

Andrew: Okay. Well, thank you for calling!

Jamie: Thank you very much.

Caller: Thanks, Andrew. Thanks, guys.

Andrew: No problem.

Jamie: Buh-bye!

Caller: Bye!

Listener Calls: MuggleCast Show in Australia

Andrew: Bye! In all seriousness, not getting any landline calls, people. So if you’re calling in if you want to discuss Harry Potter but not getting anything. There’s a call. Hello, you’re on MuggleCast!

Caller: Hello?

Andrew: Hi. You’re on MuggleCast. What’s up?

Mikey: Hi.

Caller: Not much. I’m from Australia as well.

Andrew: You’re from Australia, too?

Caller: Yeah.

Andrew: But you have a US number. What’s going on? Oh wait, no. Yeah, you have a US number. Oh no, you don’t have a US number.

Caller: Do I?

Andrew: I’m sorry. No, I’m sorry.

Jerry: Maybe because she’s got +61. [laughs]

Andrew: You have one extra number. Sorry to – [laughs] yeah, you’re right. You’re right, Jerry.

[Andrew and Jerry laugh]

Caller: Oh, that’s weird. Anyway, I think you should come to Australia, too. We’re all…

Andrew: Well, maybe we’ll work on that.

[Caller laughs]

Mikey: I think we should go, guys. I think we should go to Australia.

Jerry: You just need a big donation.

Caller: I think Eric should come because he’s in New Zealand.

Andrew: Yeah.

Caller: I could totally see him doing a [unintelligible] MuggleCaster all around Australia and New Zealand.

Andrew: I could definitely see him doing that too. [laughs]

Jerry: He’s got no excuse not to. It’s like me going to France.

Andrew: Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you for calling in.

Jamie: Thank you.

Caller: Thank you.

Andrew: Bye!

Jamie: Buh-bye!

Caller: Bye!

Jerry: Bye!

Andrew: Let me see if I can get someone else in here who’s really concerned about the Harry Potter series. Hold off on calls for one minute.

Mikey: Andrew, I want you to take a look at that, buddy. Click the link I just sent you.

Andrew: Okay.

[Prolonged silence]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Oh, Mikey!

Mikey: Come on, guys! You should all come out! We could all…

Jamie: Mikey!

Mikey: We could do a special podcast from the Scary Farm.

Jamie: You’re the worst torturer I’ve ever seen in the world. You torture people so.

Mikey: Oh, come on.

Jamie: I want to go, Mikey! I know what I’m going to do. I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to shout out “Mikey B!” then as soon as you get here, I’m going to grab onto you so that when you go back I’ll go with you.

Mikey: All right. Yeah, you should do that.

Andrew: Okay. Well, nobody knows what you’re talking about.

Jerry: That’s true.

Andrew: Mikey placed a link to 34th – basically he just sent us a birthday invitation. But…

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: …of course we can’t take it. Okay, are our phone numbers not working or something? [laughs] We’re only getting Australian calls right now.

Mikey: Oh, you sound like…

Andrew: Oh, here we go.

Jerry: We had one American calling.

Listener Calls: Campaign to Get MuggleCasters in Deathly Hallows Movie

Andrew: Hold on, here’s an American calling. Steve Capello.

JJ Horgan: Actually, this is JJ Horgan.

Andrew: [laughs] Oh, JJ Horgan. How are you doing?

[JJ laughs]

Andrew: Sorry, I got the wrong – got the Skype…

JJ: [laughs] That’s okay. Easily mixed up on Skype.

Andrew: [laughs] Right. So…

JJ: Yeah. So…

Andrew: We’ve had discussions before. I don’t know you, but we’ve been having discussions before about Harry Potter. You’re pretty upset about some things in the Harry Potter series, you think they just don’t make sense. And you wanted to take callers, I know, to sort of debate people, I guess. Is that what you wanted to talk about?

JJ: Actually, I wanted to talk about something else first. Is this a bad time to bring up something we haven’t previously talked about, even though we don’t know each other? Is this a bad time to bring up something completely random?

Andrew: No, it’s not. I mean, this is…

JJ: I’m not going to ruin the flow of your twelve-hour show?

Andrew: [laughs] No, you’re not.

JJ: [unintelligible]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: We’re about an hour in.

Andrew: No, it’s – yeah, we’re fine. I have my finger on the hang Up button, though. [laughs]

JJ: I actually just logged off for a little bit so I kind of missed exactly what you guys were talking about at this point, but is it still Jerry on?

Andrew: Yeah, Jerry’s on.

Jerry: Yeah, I’m on.

JJ: Okay. And still no Ben?

Andrew: [laughs] No Ben.

Mikey: No Ben.

JJ: How about Jamie?

Andrew: Jamie’s on.

Mikey: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah, I’m here.

JJ: Jamie, how are you doing?

Jamie: Hey, Mr… [slurs]

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: I’m slurring my words. Something happened to me about an hour ago where I can’t speak normally and I got tired, so I’ll say that again: Hey, Mr. [unintelligible] How are you?

[Andrew laughs]

JJ: Oh, that’s okay. I understand you. Trip over tea falling out, it’s a British thing.

[Andrew laughs]

Jamie: Yeah, that’s…

Andrew: Kind of rude here.

JJ: No, no, it’s a compliment.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

Jamie: The strangest compliment I’ve ever heard.

[Andrew laughs]

JJ: Yeah, I want to see – I’m being courteous and I have my listening muted, but I want to see how many people are on right now.

Andrew: The feed?

JJ: Yeah.

Andrew: 900 people.

JJ: 900. Pretty impressive.

Andrew: Yeah?

JJ: Well, good. Then 900 people in the feed I think will be definite big supporters of this. But for those of you guys that knew Andrew, you knew that he blew his biggest opportunity of his lifetime in high school.

Andrew: [laughs] Wait, wait…

JJ: Andrew, do you know what I’m talking about?

Andrew: Does it start with a B?

JJ: No.

Andrew: Okay.

JJ: For those of you guys that don’t know Andrew, his opportunity he blew was – he had the opportunity to start a campaign – a letter-writing campaign, a MuggleCast campaign, or whatever campaign – to get a date with Emma Watson.

[Andrew laughs]

JJ: And he completely didn’t do it because he’s too shy.

[Jamie laughs]

JJ: So with that said, this goes out entirely to all of the MuggleCast listeners, all 900 of you out there now. Are you guys ever going to put this online right to the…

Andrew: Yeah.

JJ: …70,000 or so?

Andrew: Yeah.

JJ: Can all hear this? We need to start a letter-writing campaign because obviously it would be awkward now because Andrew probably won’t be going to a prom again.

Andrew: [laughs] Maybe.

JJ: The Emma Watson thing is out the window.

Jamie: Can you tell us how Andrew was as a freshman?

JJ: I think the next campaign needs to be to get…

Jamie: Sorry.

JJ: …Andrew and maybe Jamie and maybe if Hagrid has got some weird cousin…

[Andrew and Jamie laugh]

JJ: …for the seventh movie, Ben gets into the next movie. What do you guys think?

Mikey: I think you should let us be consultants for the Harry Potter 7: Deathly Hallows movie so that way they can’t do anything to ruin it.

JJ: You want to be consultants?

Mikey: Yeah!

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Or maybe – you know, Mikey B to direct Harry Potter 7!

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Mikey B! Director!

Andrew: See…

JJ: Maybe Mikey and Jerry can be consultants but Andrew and Jamie definitely need cameos.

[Andrew laughs]

JJ: I think the seventh movie would be kind of awkward because there’s nothing at Hogwarts and they kind of have that young awkward, going to school kind of thing happening.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

JJ: And my wife is sitting here telling me something. She said something about a dead body. Maybe at the end of the book, would you guys like to be a dead body laying there?

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: I would so be a dead body. I could be…

Andrew: Actually, that’s a great point. JJ brings up a good point. There’s a lot of people who die in the book and the bodies…

JJ: I mean, I know your acting range…

Mikey: Or I could be just somebody in the Order, like in the background.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay, Mikey.

Mikey: As long as I get a wand, like an official wand, that would be so cool!

JJ: [unintelligible] a little bit, Mikey. Maybe a dead guy is in your future.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: Because really, can you imagine? You could be like, “I’m a young Kingsley Shacklebolt,” with the dreads and everything.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Mikey: There’s got to be wizards with dreadlocks and that are all cool like – I don’t know, maybe not.

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

JJ: And what would it say next to you on IMDB?

Mikey: Who knows.

JJ: Mikey equals third dead guy from the left.

Andrew: [laughs] Yeah.

Mikey: Mikey B! [laughs] Right there.

JJ: What do you guys think? Can we start this campaign?

Andrew: I guess so. I have a feeling it’s not going to work out very well though because for one, they only hire English actors for the jobs.

JJ: Well – okay, so Jamie…

Andrew: Jamie is there.

JJ: …is sort of English.

Jerry: Sort of English. [laughs]

Andrew: Well, I was always thinking the next time we’re invited to the set, we…

JJ: Just hop over a fence and…

Mikey: Yeah.

Andrew: [laughs] Well, it’s more than a fence. I mean…

JJ:[unintelligible] and you just act like you belong there.

Andrew: [laughs] Fair point. Because now that I’m thinking about it, they don’t really – once you get through the security gate, you just walk in the door and you’re just…

Mikey: Did we talk about how I got on the red carpet at the movie premiere?

Andrew: [laughs] Oh yeah. Well, yeah, you’ll love this, JJ. There’s basically no security on the red carpet.

Mikey: [laughs] All right. So wait, let me explain this. The red carpet movie premiere – only Emerson and Andrew were supposed to be down there and so I’m like, “You know what? There’s no security.” And I put a MuggleNet – no, I wasn’t even wearing a MuggleNet shirt. I just literally walked down onto the red carpet like I was supposed to be there and I’m like, “Hey, I’m down here. They didn’t kick me out!” [laughs] And so I was on the red carpet, and got to be down there and see all the wonderful actors and everything. I was totally happy about that, being able to be up there. I was…

JJ: Right now the security team that was in charge of the red carpet has been fired and your picture is going to be posted everywhere for the sixth movie.

[Andrew and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: I don’t think WB’s listening on a Saturday night right now. Actually – well, who knows.

Mikey: Well, the best part is because I had met a bunch of – no, I’m not even going to talk about that. But it was really cool. They just said, “Yeah, it’s cool for you to be there.” [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah, that was interesting.

Mikey: [laughs] Andrew was, “What are you doing here?! It’s only supposed to be the two of us.” I’m like, “Oh, give me your camera. We’ll be fine.” [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah. That was fun though, so…

Mikey: It was cool.

JJ: So we’re all in agreement we’re going to start the campaign to get Andrew and Jamie and possibly Mikey…

[Andrew laughs]

JJ: …and like I said, it’s kind of awkward…

Mikey: Aww.

JJ: …Hagrid’s cousin, maybe we get Ben a part, too.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

JJ: We’re going for the…

Mikey: Ben could be a weird Grawp.

Andrew: [laughs] Grawp.

Mikey: It would be Grawp’s second giant cousin…

Andrew: [uses UK pronunciation] Grawp? You mean [uses US pronunciation] Grawp?

Mikey: [uses US pronunciation] Grawp. [uses UK pronunciation] Grawp. [uses US pronunciation] Grawp. Sorry.

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: The second giant cousin twice removed, beaten up a couple of times…

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Mikey: …as Ben. [laughs]

Andrew: Yeah.

Jamie: Yeah.

Andrew: Oh gosh, why does everyone in the chat want a new poll? Who cares?

Mikey: What’s the poll right now?

JJ: They want a new poll? What does people in the chat…

Andrew: JJ, give me a poll.

JJ: Give you a poll?

Andrew: Yeah.

JJ: Who should be in the sixth Harry Potter movie: Andrew, Mikey, Jamie, Jerry, or me?

Andrew: [laughs] Well, we can only do four options so we’ll take you out.

Mikey: We all know it’s going to be Jamie. Come on.

JJ: Sorry Jerry, Ben’s got to be on there.

[Andrew laughs]

Jerry: Ooh.

JJ: Best-selling author, Ben.

Jerry: I am so much more British.

Mikey: Ben Schoen, New York Times best-seller author.

JJ: You want a better poll topic there, Andrew? Or is that good?

Andrew: What? Yeah, whatever.

JJ: So I think that’s a good one. I think we’re going to focus around our push to get you in the next movie because I think it’s time you exercised your MuggleCast muscle.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay.

JJ: All summer, all the fans you’ve met and stuff, you know?

Andrew: Yeah.

JJ: If this doesn’t get you into a movie, really the prospects in the future are minimal.

Andrew: [laughs] That’s – except for maybe a career in broadcasting or something. I don’t know. But – and Mikey. Okay, start poll.

Mikey: What? And Mikey?

Andrew: I was talking about the poll.

Mikey: Okay.

Andrew: So far, I’m winning. It’s amazing. As soon as we hit “Start Poll” votes start coming in. Okay, Jamie is winning right now.

Mikey: I know, Jamie is winning.

Andrew: I’m going to stop this before it…

Mikey: I’m so going to lose. It makes me sad.

Jerry: [unintelligible] Jamie is the only British one.

Andrew: Okay, but it’s time to forget about the British actors. This isn’t…

Jamie: I know what’s going to happen. Mikey, I want a part as an Order member and I want you to play my Patronus, and as soon as I cast it…

Mikey: [laughs] Really? Yes!

Jamie: …you’re going to come out of it and be like, “Dude. Look, okay. I’m Mikey B.” And then they say, “Oh really? Oh really?” And then they just walk around and walk off.

[Jerry and Mikey laugh]

Andrew: I don’t know how…

Mikey: Yeah, I’ll just talk to them and be like, “What’s up, guys? I’m Mikey B. You got to knock up a little bit. We’ll go down to the beach together and we’ll back up a little bit”.

Jamie: Exactly! You can start high-fiving the Dementors.

Mikey: I’ll just tell the Dementors to back away. I’ll just talk to them.

Jamie: Yeah. [laughs]

Andrew: I don’t understand how I keep losing all these polls when I’m the one running the show. Does anyone realize I could just hit “Stop Broadcast” button?

[Mikey laughs]

Andrew: Geez. So annoying.

Mikey: Yeah, you could but again, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

[Andrew laughs]

Mikey: You wouldn’t do something like that.

Andrew: Uh-huh.

Mikey: You know why? You’re a good person.

Andrew: Okay. Why isn’t it eleven o’clock yet? I was really looking forward to eleven o’clock. You know, it’s time for a break. We haven’t taken a break in a while.

JJ: All right. Andrew…

Andrew: Yeah?

JJ: …when we come back from a break, maybe we’ll talk some Harry Potter.

Mikey: Can we…

Andrew: Okay, you want to talk some of your burning questions?

JJ: I got to get one or two things off my chest.

Andrew: [laughs] Okay. All right, someone talk for a minute because I forgot to cue up the music.

Mikey: I personally would like to…

Andrew: Never mind, I’m good! [laughs] Go ahead, Mikey. Finish what you’re…

JJ: That was a complete set-up.

Andrew: [laughs] No! I didn’t mean to do that. Mikey, I’m going to play – sorry, Mikey. Go ahead.

Mikey: I was going to say – I don’t know what I was going to say.

Andrew: Okay. Well, with that, we’ll take it to Jackson 5 “ABC.”

Mikey: Yeah!

Andrew: [laughs] We’ll be back in a couple of minutes.

Mikey: I’m excited. Everybody dance.

[“ABC” by Jackson 5 plays]